The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

This may make you upset, but it’s the truth. I can’t guarantee that you are going to get your ex boyfriend back, I just can’t.

We are dealing with a male human being here and as much as I would love to be able to just make him desperate to get back with you, I don’t have the mind control powers that so many others in this “how to get your ex boyfriend back” community seem to have!

Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of.

Well, I intend to give you plenty of value and cover off on some new ideas and tactics that you can put to use right now! Actual strategies that allow you to get him back without looking desperate.

This major “Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Guide” is aimed at giving you practical and actionable ideas to accomplish just that.  This major Guide will be divided into 4 Major Parts, with many headings and an almost endless list of ideas and tactics you can put to use today!

So enjoy and reach out to me in the Comment Section if you have any questions about winning back your ex bf.

Part 1: Learning How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Looking Desperate

relationship infographic

I am not going to lie to you. I put a lot of work into this page (1 full month to be exact.) I read relationship books, I took notes on speeches that dating experts gave, I bought online products, I listened my friends tell me stories about what they did to reunite with their exes and tested out some of the things I learned.

You are going to discover that this page is really long, in-depth but more importantly, it is going to help you to not only get your boyfriend back but to rediscover yourself in the process.

What We Will Be Covering in this Get Your Ex Back Guide

    • A Step by Step System To Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
    • 10 Helpful Tips To Get Him Running Back To You
    • The Best Way To Contact Your Ex Bf
    • Building Up Your Personal Confidence
    • What To Do & What Not To Do to Make Him The Desperate One
    • What To Do If Your Boyfriend Cheated On You
    • How To Get Him Back If You Cheated On Him
    • What To Do If He Has A Girlfriend
    • How To Define Your Dating Goals
    • How No Contact Fits Into Your Ex Back Strategy
    • How To First Reach Out To Your Ex Boyfriend
    • How You Go About Finally Having The First In Person Meeting

(Side Note: The system I have outlined on this page will work for teenagers in high school, married couples, people who haven’t seen each other in six months or two years and people who just got out of a long distance relationship. Basically, I am saying this system is universal!)

I thought the best way to go about the rest of this page would be to take an in-depth look at each step of the ex recovery process starting with your break up and what to do immediately after it.

10 New Ways To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back As Quickly As Possible Without Looking Desperate!

1. Don’t Be In Such a Hurry To Try And Get Him Back – It’s a Mistake!

I know.  You are thinking to yourself, “look, I came here to find out the fastest way possible to get my ex boyfriend back where he belongs.  I have to have him back”.  But trust me, things are probably pretty crazy right now if you are just coming out of the breakup, so don’t make it worse by rushing through things, being overly impulsive , and doing or saying something you will regret later.

2. Keep a Journal – It Can Help You Deal Better With the Onslaught of the Break Up Emotions.

Right now is your time.  While your instincts are to obsess over your ex boyfriend and run through your mind over and over again as to what you did wrong, you have to stop thinking this way.  So what I want you to do is start writing down your vision of the future and what you want.  Don’t think so much about what happened in the past, but focus on what you are going to do to start healing.

3. Avoid The Temptation To Text and Call Him

I am going to warn you now.  You will be possessed by this intense desire to contact him.  If only you could talk to him, you think, you would just explain everything and all would be forgotten.  Well, it seldom works that way.  Chances are your efforts will be ignored which will just make you feel worse.  Or you will successfully reach your ex boyfriend and he and you will end up having a heated or disappointing conversation, leaving you feeling bad and rejected yet again.  It’s almost always a no win situation because neither one of you are well equipped right now to deal with your emotional states.  So just cool your heels and keep reading!

4. Become The Ungettable Girl Because That is Truly What Your Ex Boyfriend Wants – Even If He Doesn’t Know It Yet!

The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.

5. Understand How To Use Radio Silence To the Benefit of Your Ex Boyfriend

A lot of people think that when they implement Radio Silence (No contact) with their Ex Bf, that it is all about denying them or punishing them.  But that is not it at all.  It is really about allowing your Ex Boyfriend time to get over his anger and resentment and sort through his feelings.  Make no mistake, bitterness is usually just hovering over a break up couple and your guy might be holding on to his fair share. So allow for some space.  Once the ugly thoughts are out of his mind, the good thoughts and memories will eventually return as he will most assuredly start missing you, sometimes terribly.

6. Be Creative in Your Efforts To Attract Your Ex Bf

Sometimes you have to get creative to get through your ex boyfriend’s thick skull.  He may be one of those stubborn ones who figures that he will wait for you to make the first move. He might just need a stimulus.  Read about it in in #7 below!

7. Stay One Step Ahead of Your Ex Boyfriend

Consider picking up something that he doesn’t have.  It’s called “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” and is probably one of the finest ebooks I have written on this topic of ex recovery.  What better advantage is there than having a Companion Guide that helps you with just about any situation you might face.

8. Don’t Try To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.

9. Contact Me and Get Some Personalized Coaching

Sometimes the break up is so unique or troubling or complex, that it requires some specialized coaching.  Or sometimes, people do better if they can talk to someone who is an expert at helping folks with their relationship troubles.  Well, if you fall into that category, then you are in luck.  All you need to do is reach out to me (i.e. click Coaching Services in my website’s Menu Section) and I am sure we can work out something!

10. You Might Benefit From Joining My Private Facebook Group and/or Picking Up the Texting Bible

You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.

Click Here To Get The SOLUTION You Deserve! 

Using The  No Contact Rule To Lure Your Ex Boyfriend Back Into Your Arms!

(If you want a more in-depth look at the No Contact Rule please visit this page.)

still thinking about your ex

Ok, before we get into some of the soul searching you will want to do or discuss serious strategies you will want to consider, let’s talk a bit about the advantages of  implementing  the no contact rule.  In Part 2 of this Guide, we are going to talk a lot more about this Principle.

But given its importance to your overall strategic aims, let’s discuss it’s role in the aftermath of a break up and how you can leverage it to your full advantage.

The No Contact Rule involves means you are not going to be  texting your ex, talking, and especially not  stalking your ex for about a full month. That is 30 days of essentially cutting your boyfriend out of your life. Remember, don’t dig into his life and don’t Google + or Facebook him.

If you don’t believe in the no contact rule then all I can say to you is that you had better start believing in it.

Do you remember earlier when I said I spent a lot of time researching this topic? Yea well, I only took a look at credible sources and every one and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE recommends the no contact rule.

The Reasons Why No Contact Works on Your Boyfriend After a Break Up

Reason #1: Helping You Get Through the Pain of What Happened Between You and Your Ex Boyfriend

Right after a break up is when you are at your emotional peak and I don’t mean a good emotional peak, I am talking about anger, hate, basically everything that Yoda from Star Wars said to avoid. The no contact rule is going to give you time to work on yourself and calm down a little bit so you can think more rationally instead of emotionally.

Reason #2: Helping Your Ex Boyfriend Realize You Have Value and Should Be Missed

Your ex boyfriend is probably going to start wondering why you aren’t talking to him and possibly may even begin to miss you.

Reason #3: Learning To Ignore Your Ex Bf Works in Your Favor When he is Angry or Resentful

He will probably try to call or text you during this no contact period. It is important that you ignore him.
You may hear from mutual friends that he called you a bad name/s or you may get the feeling that he hates you or wants nothing to do with you. Don’t worry, he is emotional and doesn’t mean it. Besides, after 30 days he will change his tune.

2 Special Cases Where You Have To Contact Your Ex Bf During No Contact

(Oh, just an FYI. I actually recently put together a massive book on the no contact rule. Check it out.)

There are certain special cases where it is pretty much impossible to “ignore” your ex without seeming like a jerk. Here are those specific cases and what you should do if you find yourself in them.

Case 1: If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Your goal is to be a respectful roommate. Make sure any interactions you do have with the person are short, pleasant and to the point. Make sure you are as positive as possible.

Case 2: If You and Your Boyfriend Have Kids Together

The last thing you want is to come off like a jerk. So, if you are in this situation make sure you keep your interactions to a minimum. Keep things short, simple and positive.

Are you seeing a trend here?

What Caused The Breakup Between You and Your Ex Boyfriend?

breakup cartoon

Knowing what caused your breakup is important because it can give you an idea of where your relationship went wrong and how you can possibly correct it in the future.

A Word On What Your Ex Boyfriend Probably Thinks

(Disclaimer- these views reflect the average male. Not every single male acts according to these guidelines.)

Typically men don’t like to hurt your feelings. Thus, it is entirely possible that whatever reason they gave you for the breakup may not be completely true. I’ll admit that we men sometimes don’t even know why we want out of a relationship we just do.

However, I would say that the average man will leave a relationship when his is no longer getting what he needs. No I am not talking about sex here (although that can lead to problems for some men.) I am talking about admiration.

Men like to be admired for who they are. They love the newness of a relationship, want respect and like to see significant interest coming from females.

The best way I can describe this phenomenon would be like this:

You just started dating a new guy. You are in that honeymoon phase and everything is great. You are constantly complimenting him and giving him acknowledgment that he is wanted by you. Basically he loves hearing that you are interested in him. However, as time goes on things begin to change. You don’t compliment him as much because you don’t need to land him anymore. This is when the problems begin for him.

Another thing that you always hear guys saying is the fact that they are constantly nagged to death by their girlfriends.

Let me break this down for you…

Nagged To Death = A man looks at this as if his woman no longer is satisfied with what he has to offer or bring to the table. This doesn’t mean you can’t always express your feelings you just need to do a better job at mixing them in with love and admiration for him.

5 Reasons Why Your Ex Boyfriend Broke Up With You?

(For a more in-depth look at what your options are if HE broke up with you please visit this page.)

reasons for breakup infographic

Getting dumped sucks and when your boyfriend decides he doesn’t want you anymore it just tears you apart from the inside out. I feel for you but don’t worry because we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things. Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex boyfriend gave you for why he chose to break up is really why he decided to let you go. This may sound a bit mean, but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable.

So, let’s get to it!

Here are some of the most common reasons for break ups:

1. Your ex boyfriend didn’t feel attracted to you anymore:

Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.

2. You ex boyfriend was getting bored with you:

This is another legitimate reason for a breakup. Unfortunately, in my personal opinion it says more about of his lack of character (unless you were really boring but I doubt that) than anything you actually did. Luckily, seeming boring is quite easy to fix!

3. Your boyfriend’s emotional and sexual needs weren’t fulfilled by you:

A lot of times this can be happening but you won’t have any clue. Men aren’t the best communicators especially when it comes to breaking bad news. The last thing they want is to hurt you so they will just break up with you and give you some general reason. Luckily again this can be addressed!

4. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know what he wants:

In this case it really is the classic line “it’s not you, it’s me.” This one can be a little harder to come back from but trust me it can be done if you are smart about how you approach the situation.

5. Your Boyfriend Was Cheating on You So He Decide To End It With You

Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.

(If YOU cheated on your boyfriend then click this link for more information.)

(If HE cheated on you and you want him back click here for more information.)

One of the most popular questions I get around here is “how do I get my ex boyfriend back if I cheated on him/ if he cheated on me.” First things first, when it comes to cheating you need to understand one thing. Men and women cheat for very different reasons.

Men cheat because they are horny.

Women cheat because they aren’t feeling appreciated or other emotional reasons.

A lot of times what can happen is an ex can realize what they missed about you once they are settled in with their new person.

(If you were abused either physically or emotionally I recommend that you NEVER get back together with an ex.)

5 Reasons Why Girls End It With Their Boyfriends (But Now You Want Him Back)

(For a more in-depth look at what your options are if YOU broke up with him please visit this page.)

peak breakup times according to facebook

A huge misconception out there is that because you did the dumping it is a lot easier to get back with your ex. This is completely NOT TRUE. Trust me, your going to have to do a lot of work, perhaps more than the women who were dumped.

Here are some of the most common reasons why you may have broken up with your boyfriend:

1. You believed that the grass was greener and things could be better:

Everyone always thinks they could do better until they go out and realize that the relationship they had before wasn’t so bad.

2. You mistakenly believed that your ex boyfriend betrayed or cheated on you:

Ah so you had a sneaking suspicion but were proven wrong. This is bad for you for a couple of reasons. First off, your boyfriend surely will feel worried about incurring your wrath whenever they want to do something. Secondly, it makes your ex feel like you never trusted them. Luckily, you can work on this and prove to him that you are no longer the person who suspects him every time he goes out (without you.)

3. Your ex boyfriend cheated on you:

Honestly, this is tough for me to give advice on. You were faithful but he was not. I would say think very carefully if this person is worth getting in a relationship with again. Personally, cheating to me is a big no no and I don’t think I could forgive that so easily. But hey, that’s me.

4. You don’t feel attracted to your boyfriend anymore:

They let themselves go huh? You were too familiar with them and it just got old or boring? Make sure that you are very serious about wanting to get back with this person before you keep reading.

5. There was a big fight with him and a break up occurred:

A while back I was dating someone and it always seemed that we would fight over the silliest things. Now, I like to think that I am generally a calm person but for whatever reason my girlfriend and I would always fight. So, I went to the most trusted of friends for advice, my dad. He explained to me that a relationship is like a bank account. Every time you have a good experience or something of that nature you are putting money into the account. However, every time you have an argument or a fight you are taking money out of the account. The key thing here is to have more green deposits than red withdrawals in your relationship bank account.

(If you were abused either physically or emotionally I recommend that you NEVER get back together with an ex.)

Defining Your Goals Helps You With Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

One thing that needs to be made clear is that if you are going to seriously invest the time and effort to get your ex boyfriend back you are going to have to adopt a new mindset.

At one time you were dating this person. Maybe it was serious, maybe it was casual. Whatever the facts you need to accept that your old relationship is dead. Not only that but you want it to stay dead. A lot of times women make the mistake of picking up right where they left off whenever they do get their ex back.

Why in the world would they want that? Your old relationship had problems or failed right? So, the last thing you want to do is resume that doomed relationship.

The big goal that you should strive for is to create a relationship with your ex boyfriend that is not only new but better.

I am in to helping women who want a lasting relationship with their boyfriends. This may sound goofy but I like those women who so strongly believe that they are going to be together with their exes for good that they are willing to try anything.

To a casual observer that may sound really risky but personally I love women with that belief that after they get their boyfriend back they will be with him forever. Those are the type of women who work really hard to create that NEW and BETTER relationship.

So, the big take away that I want you to get from this section is that your ultimate goal assuming this process works for you is that you are discarding your old relationship and creating a new one that is stronger.

Having A Legitimate Reason For Getting Back Together

(For a more in-depth look at legitimate reasons for getting back together please visit this page.)

If you can’t already tell I truly do enjoy helping women strategize on how to get their ex boyfriends back. However, one thing that I have neglected to mention so far is that there are certain women (not you) that don’t have legitimate reasons for wanting to get back together with their boyfriends.

As a general rule it is good to have a legitimate reason for getting back together with your significant other. Here are some of the reasons that ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE.

      • Saying you will die without him.
      • That he’s your whole life.
      • You’ll never find someone better.
      • Your not happy alone.
      • It will be different next time.

Again, these reasons are not good enough to get back together. The fact of the matter is that you can be perfectly fine without this person if you are citing any of these.

Here are a few reasons that ARE ACCEPTABLE.

      • The breakup was a rash decision.
      • You had a huge fight that caused the breakup.
      • You were happy almost all of the time you were together.
      • Both of you want the same things out of a life together.

Part 2 – What To Do During The No Contact Period

what to do?

Just a heads up as this is an extremely important section. Remember when we talked abut how you are going to implement the no contact rule for about a month (30 days?) Yes, well you are not going to just sit on your butt and twiddle your thumbs during this time. No, you are going to work towards your goal of a new and better relationship by focusing on the one thing you can control, yourself!

Reminder Of The No Contact Period Rules

      • No texting, calling, emailing, Facebook communications or writing your ex boyfriend.
      • It is recommended that you don’t dig into your exes life at all.
      • If your ex calls, texts, emails or Facebooks you, you are not allowed to respond.
      • Don’t listen to anything your ex says about you (even if it is hurtful names.)
      • If you break your no contact period agreement (talking to him in any shape or form before the 30 days are up) then you have to start your 30 day no contact period over.

Things To Avoid During The No Contact Period

      • Sleeping all day because of how you feel.
      • Staying home and not going out.
      • Drinking too much (alcohol.)
      • Telling everyone you have ever known about the breakup.
      • Making big life decisions.
      • Calling in sick to work frequently.

Ok, so those are pretty much the most basic things of the big NO-NO’s of the no contact period. Now we get to the good stuff. Honestly, I am getting excited here because this is where you start taking the first steps of getting your ex boyfriend back. Granted, they are baby steps but they are still steps in the right direction.

Alright, so the biggest thing I want you to focus on for the no contact period is the fact that you are using this month to become the best version of yourself that you have ever been. There is a 100% chance, especially if you are ignoring him, that your ex is going to check up on you during this period and instead of sulking around feeling sorry for yourself he is going to see a strong, sexy, fun-having woman!

(Disclaimer: please don’t take offense ladies, some of the things I cover here are meant to help you not to criticize.)

Physical Changes Can Attract To Your Ex Boyfriend

change your appearance

First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”

Where did I come up with this? Actually this really happened to me. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. She looked so good in fact that all I could think was “how in the hell did I let her get away?”

6 Physical Changes You Can Make To Arouse Your Ex Boyfriend

1. You can change your hairstyle

I’ll admit, I am not a hairstyle guru but everywhere I researched claimed that this was an excellent tactic to looking good for your man so who am I to argue with the experts.

2. Get in shape

There is no argument that you can make to me to say that this isn’t a good idea. This is especially true if (no offense) you are a little overweight. However, even if you are a workout fanatic don’t let your breakup change that side of you.

3. Clean up your diet

Again, this is another great way to feel better about yourself and notice how it is the opposite of sitting around eating ice cream all day.

4. Update your wardrobe

I am giving you permission to go out and shop! You can thank me later when you are on your mans arm.

5. Clean up your smile

No, I don’t mean smile more even though you should do that. I am talking about literally looking at how you can get a better smile. If you have bad teeth then go to the dentist and see if you can get them cleaned.

6. Clean up any skin problems you have

If you have excessive acne or any unwanted moles you can get those taken care of. I know it may be uncomfortable to talk about but in this case you need to suck it up and get the proper treatment if you don’t want them.

(I am not recommending plastic surgery or anything of that nature.)

Mental Changes That Can Help You Regain Your Confidence And Feel Good About Yourself

best activites during no contact

So, now that you know what changes you need to make physically lets talk about arguably the harder thing to improve, your mental state. One of the biggest assets about the no contact period is that it gives you time to calm down a bit from the mental tension that was your breakup. This section is going to be all about how to get through your breakup and heal emotionally. However, in order for that to happen you need to take a few actions first.

5 Mental Changes You Can Make To Help You Cope With Your Ex Boyfriend Break Up

1. Focus on work and Recreation, Not Your Ex

It is good to distract your mind for a while and what better way to do that than with work. Careful though, you don’t want to be one of those career first women and lose sight of your goal. Remember, focusing on work in this particular case should be used to take your mind of your ex boyfriend.

2. Renew a hobby

I don’t have to explain this one do I? Ok, basically if there was anything fun that you used to do (tennis, golf, puzzles, collecting, hiking, photography, music) renew it.

3. Write in a journal

Sometimes your mind is constantly racing with thoughts about your ex boyfriend and since you can’t talk to him for 30 days it might be a good idea to jot your thoughts down in a journal.

4. Have fun

If your friends invite you out to a party or club I would recommend that you go out and have fun with them. Honestly time is the number one thing that can help you get over a break up but the second best thing is definitely having fun.

5. Reconnect with friends

Friends are great. You can talk to them about your problems and they will listen. You can rely on them in the bad times to pick you up. Careful though, don’t let them talk you into calling him before the no contact period is up.

To learn more about what other changes you can make during the no contact rule please check out my newest book,

The No Contact Rule Book

How Other People Can Help You Get Your Ex Back

I thought this deserved it’s own section because there is a lot to talk about here. During your no contact period I recommend that you go on a date…. with someone new! Yes, I am saying to go on a date with someone who isn’t your ex. I know you may be a bit hesitant but trust me it’s a smart idea. Here are a few reasons why.

It shows you are moving on- In a strange way you kind of want your ex to know that you are on a date with someone. You appear self-assured and strong which are very attractive qualities.

It can build up your self confidence- Dating other people helps you feel a little bit more confident. Knowing that someone finds you attractive is always a great feeling. Not to mention the person you may be on the date with might be extremely fun.

It will help keep your mind off your ex (probably)- When you are busy you have less time to mope around or think about your ex. Instead of being completely miserable and depressed you are doing something constructive and dare I say having a bit of fun?

It will cure any phobias you may have developed- Women who haven’t been in a relationship for a long time may feel a little worried about meeting someone new. Don’t worry at all. Just focus on having fun with someone and making new friendships.

My Ex Boyfriend Is Dating Someone Else

(If you want an in-depth look at what to do if your ex boyfriend is dating someone else visit this page.)

This is yet another one of those very popular questions I get: “Chris, how do I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend?”

If you find yourself in this unfortunate situation I have two words for you.

Be Cool.

Studies have shown that 90% of rebound relationships don’t work out in the long run so the odds are probably in your favor. There is no reason to start harassing him or the girl he is dating. Under no circumstances will you contact him. In fact, DO NOT CONTACT HIM OR HER. The further away from the breakup your ex gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. This means he will forget the bad times and remember the good times.

So, be glad because it may be a blessing in disguise.

If you are still not convinced then all I can say to you is this. The tactics you will learn on this page are probably going to make you more attractive than the girl he is dating so just…

Be Cool.

One Last Word About using Radio Silence (No Contact) To Heal

You may notice that a lot of what you are doing during the no contact period is working on bettering yourself. I am not saying it’s going to be easy but doing what I recommended above will really help to heal you. Oh, and you may realize after some time that you don’t really want to get back with your ex (stranger things have happened.)

 Part 3:  How Should You First Make Contact With Your Ex Boyfriend

(If you want a more in-depth look at the ways to contact your ex please visit this page.)

(If you want more information on the strategies behind texting please click this link.)

funny text message

Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?

Well, the truth is that there is no best method. Every single relationship is different and will require different methods. Some people prefer calling while some prefer letters. Personally I prefer texting. So, from this point on I am just going to be focusing on that method and the best practices using it. But first….

Why I Prefer Texting As Your Initial Contact With Your Ex Boyfriend

As stated above, I personally prefer texting over any method of contact for a number of reasons. If you are a little hesitant to text then I am hoping this section can sway you. Lets look at each method individually starting with..

Should You Call Your Ex on the Phone?

Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.

Writing A Letter To Your Ex Boyfriend

I don’t know about you but if I got a letter out of the blue from an ex girlfriend I might be a little creeped out. The last thing you want to be is perceived as creepy or stalker like and writing a letter the wrong way can definitely hurt you.

What About Texting Your Ex Boyfriend

Honestly, it is hard to think of any disadvantages when using text messages. Texting is the communication highway for today’s couples. You and your boyfriend probably texted each other all the time and rarely shared them with anyone. Basically texting is super intimate. You can share cute pictures and do all sorts of really fun things. Not to mention it is impossible to raise your voice over a text message. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. This is something that calling on the phone won’t allow you.

The Game Plan Around Building Attraction With Your Ex Boyfriend

Before you plot to get your boyfriend back you are going to need a plan right? Well, it just so happens I have come up with the ultimate game plan for getting your ex back. I present to you “The Game Plan” a number of cool psychological tricks that, if implemented correctly, will give you the best chance to get your ex boyfriend back.

The Game Plan

A lot of the plan outlined above may not make sense to you right away. In fact, I would be shocked if it did. Don’t worry though because I am going to go through every single step in a very-in depth manner.

However, before we hit the ground running I feel it is important to mention a few things. The game plan outlined above is not set in stone. Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined. Knowing what to do can sometimes depend on your gut. So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving.

10 Important Things To Know Before You Contact Your Ex

Before you contact your ex boyfriend, there are certain rules you are going to have to abide by. These rules will definitely give you the best shot at winning him back. Let’s take a look:

1. Controlling the conversation is key that means that you should always be the one who brings the conversation to a close, YOU WANT TO BE IN CONTROL.
2. Typically you want your ex to only think about the most positive experiences during your relationship.
3. You will need to get in touch with what you and your ex once had. What made you a successful couple? I recommend taking out a pen and paper and brainstorming.
4. You also have to know what he disliked about your relationships.
5. You have to know his likes and dislikes. (you can’t start talking about a band he hated and expect it to go well.)
6. Don’t expect him to be receptive of your messages right off the bat, it may take a while.
7. As a general rule the faster things move the worse off you are, TAKE THINGS SLOW.
8. DO NOT SPAM YOUR EX WITH TEXTS… if he doesn’t respond to your first one just wait a couple of days and try again.
9. You can’t come off as needy.
10. Be very patient. Remember it is about making small, incremental moves and steps.  Together they build a tapestry of attraction.

The Best First Contact Text Message For That Stubborn Ex Boyfriend of Yours

first contact

First impressions are everything. You need to remember that. How you approach this first contact message is almost as important as the text messages later in this process. Why? Because, if you screw this part up you can kiss your chances of getting your boyfriend back goodbye. No pressure though.

(Quick Sidenote: If you want a much more in-depth look at the process of texting an ex boyfriend I encourage you to take a look at “The Texting Bible.”

Your main goal in this section is to just open up communication. Remember though, you want to be in control at all times. That means that YOU have to be the one to end the conversation. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at.

Big Break Up No-No’s

      • This message is not about rekindling the sexual flames (NOT A BOOTY CALL)
      • You can’t get angry or upset.
      • You can’t expect anything (manage your expectations.)
      • This is not meant to be a cure all text that repairs the relationship.
      • Do not ask to meet up with your ex.
      • Don’t make your ex think too much.

The First Contact Rules

      • You have to be positive
      • You have to be confident
      • Again, don’t expect anything.
      • NO ONE WORD TEXTS (each message has to have a point.)
      • The messages can’t be too long.
      • You should try to create a message that is so interesting it is impossible for your ex boyfriend not to respond.

5 BAD Examples Of First Contact Texts You Shouldn’t Use on Your Ex Bf

      • One Word Texts-
      • “hey…”
      • “Hello”
      • “What’s Up”
      • “Hi”

You get the gist here I hope.

2 GOOD Examples Of First Contact Texts That Gain His Attention!

1. For a couple who both love Harry Potter.

first contact 1

2. For a couple who both loved eating out.

first contact 2

What To Do If You Get A Positive Response

Using the Harry Potter Example Above:

good example of a text first contact

A few things you should take note of. The conversation was friendly, short and ended on a good note. This is what you definitely should aim for. Your ex should be thinking about the text for days!

Since things went positively you can contact them again in a few days and talk for a little bit longer. However, the conversation can’t be too much longer and YOU have to end it first.

What To Do If You Get A Neutral Response

Neutral responses are typically the one word responses that I hate so much:

“Thxs”
“Great”
“Interesting”

Here is how you should handle a neutral reaction

neutral first contact text

Basically it is the same type of a response as a positive one. You end the conversation first, blah blah blah.

What To Do If You Get A Negative Response From Your Ex

Negative responses do not feel good at all. It really sucks and can feel like the end of the world especially if you put a lot of work into getting your ex boyfriend back. Your best bet in these situations is to simply not respond at all and understand that your ex is still processing their emotions. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost it just means you may need to be more patient and try again in a week or so.

Remembering The Good Times With Your Ex Boyfriend

Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.

First things first, this is not the part where you are going to try to get your ex boyfriend back. So, many of the same rules that I talked about above apply here.

5 Big No-No’s When Composing Your Text Message For Your Ex Bf

      • This text is not intended to be a “booty call.”
      • You can’t get angry or upset.
      • You can’t expect anything (manage your expectations.)
      • This is not meant to cure your entire relationship.
      • Do not ask to meet up with your ex.

The main thing you are trying to do with “remembering the good times” is to get them to think about the most positive aspects of your previous relationship. This means that you are going to have to be as positive as you possibly can.

Think of it this way, if you do this set of messages correctly then you have a good chance of getting your ex to feel the same feelings you are feeling and they will start to remember how great your times together were.

What To Say To Him

When you write your text message to him you are going to have to go into details instead of just writing something general. Let’s take a look at a few simple phrases to further explore this point:

Alright, lets say that I was trying to get an ex girlfriend back and I had made it this far into the step by step process I am outlining here. I took out a sheet of paper and wrote down what I thought our best couple experiences were together. For the sake of this page lets say that me and my ex had an experience where we were watching a football game outdoors and it was really cold. She was getting very cold so I offered her my jacket.

Now, what do you think would be better to write:

Choice 1: “Hey do you remember when I let you borrow my jacket at the football game?”

or

Choice 2: “Do you remember the night where I loaned you my jacket at the football game? I was freezing in my little t-shirt but you held my hand the entire time. I liked that quality about you.”

If you said Choice 2 then you would be correct.

The more details you can give the better you will do. Remember, this has to be an experience that your ex enjoyed as well as you. Lets look at some examples.

2 GOOD Examples Of Remembering The Good Times

Example of Fun Experience:

good example 1

Example of Bonding Experience

good example 2

Sometimes asking your ex a question can work well to get them to remember a good experience. (Remember your question has to be aimed at getting them to feel something positive.)

good example 3

What To Do If You Get A Positive/Neutral Response From Your Guy?

More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. Remember, you still have to be the one to end the conversation first. Lets look at how a conversation like this might play out using an example from above:

remembering the good times text

What To Do If You Get NO Response

Ok, so you sent out your text to remind them of the good ole days where the two of you were as thick as thieves but they haven’t responded yet. First off, it isn’t the end of the world. Sometimes people get busy and don’t have time to respond right away. Waite a few days before you jump to any conclusions.

If you haven’t heard anything from them yet and it has been past a couple of days then this could mean a couple of things. They are either extremely excited by the prospect of moving forward with things and they can sense that you are trying to move things along but this also makes them extremely nervous.

They could be scared by you progressing things along.

Whatever the case is just simply take things down a notch and start a few more harmless text messages where you just make first contact.

What To Do If You Get A Negative Response

You have spent a month not contacting your ex. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Make no mistake about it, negative responses are never good. However, they don’t EVER mean that you should give up right away. It just means you have to be smarter about how you approach things. Lets take a look at a negative response example (from my past) this is a true story.

negative remembering the good times response

Ouch! That definitely hurts. Nevertheless, if you get a response like this you just have to be polite, positive and collected. Remember, you are the one that has to be in control. You may have made one of the following mistakes:

A. You may have selected the wrong thing to remind him of. This isn’t horrible just give it some more time before you contact him again.

B. What you said to your ex made him uneasy…. Interesting. This just means you misread the situation and you moved a little to fast to start bringing up your relationship.

C. Maybe you caught your ex during the wrong day and you caught him at a bad time. Either way just give him some time to get his head together.

How To Use Jealousy Against Your Ex Boyfriend To Your Advantage

This section is going to be controversial. It certainly was in my Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO System. Some of you may not agree with this but everywhere I researched said that using your ex boyfriends jealousy to your advantage is one of the most powerful things you can do.

First, I think it is important to understand how jealousy can work to your advantage. Since I am a male I feel I can explain my genders feelings towards this particular topic. In my opinion I think it is ok to get jealous. However, I don’t think it is ok to get overly jealous. If your ex boyfriend would get jealous every time you would talk to another man or every time you went out then I would say you should really revisit your thinking on getting back together with him. Nevertheless, I want to tell you an interesting story about jealousy.

I have a friend (who wants to remain unnamed.) He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 months for some silly reason (I honestly never understood it.) Anyways, three months after their breakup she started dating a new guy. Immediately my friend called me up and wanted her back. He didn’t realize what he had until he saw her with another guy.

This is the power of jealousy. Now, I am NOT recommending that you go out and date someone new. I am recommending that you drop certain hints in your communication with your ex boyfriend that you are out meeting new people. The key to this is that YOU CAN’T BE OBVIOUS. Do you think you will get very far if you rub the fact that you are out and about with other guys? The answer is no. There is a subtle art to incorporating jealousy texts into your conversations and I am going to teach you that art.

3 Key Rules When Employing Jealousy Against Your Ex Boyfriend

      • You have to be really careful because if this is done wrong then your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back drop drastically.
      • Gauge the situation and decide when the time is right.
      • You have to be discreet (If you say “So, I was with this really hot guy last night and he said….” your chances are pretty much done.)

The Art Of Using Jealousy With The One Who Left You

(Disclaimer: These only work if you actually do the things you are talking about. So, don’t make any situations up. How will it look if he goes to verify and finds out your lying about being out and about with another guy?)

Ok, the first tactic is from my own experience. I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile. I know that sounds ridiculous but it legitimately made me like “Damn, that guy got to be in her presence.” Here is the key though, if I felt strongly about a girl (who was single) and I saw a bunch of pictures of her getting totally drunk and making out with a bunch of guys I will no longer feel strongly about her. In fact, I might lose interest entirely. So, I would say that your best bet would be to post innocent pictures with other guys. The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time.

Don’t believe me?

I still check my ex girlfriends profile from high school. He is going to check yours so you better be prepared.

Using Jealousy In Text Messages

Getting your guy jealous through a text message is quite easy.

Notice how I didn’t specify if this friend was a male or female. You just planted a seed of doubt in your ex boyfriends head and now he is going to wonder if you saw a romantic movie with a friend or with a date.

romantic movie text

Another popular way to get someone jealous is with the “hey did I see you at” type message. One of my good friends came up with this and I have to say it works extremely well.

jealousy (did I see you at)

Your ex boyfriend is thinking “I wasn’t at Sherlocks last night.” This is perfect because now he is going to read between the lines and see that you were checking out another guy that wasn’t him. Also in a way you are complimenting him. Jealousy text messages are interesting aren’t they?

5 Heart To Heart Text Conversations You Can Start With Your Ex Boyfriend

Alright, lets take a step back and look at how the game plan is progressing thus far.

Step 1- You sent a first contact text (got a positive/neutral response and kept the conversation short.)

Step 2- You finally started a real conversation with the “remembering the good times text message” (again the conversation was controlled by you.)

Step 3- You implemented a little bit of jealousy (You kept it subtle and got him thinking about you again as a potential relationship partner.)

Well, now you are going to implement a number of small heart to heart chats in various different ways that are going to change your fortune in a positive way.

6 Important Things To Remember

      • Don’t fall in the booty call trap.
      • You can’t get angry or upset.
      • You can’t expect anything (manage your expectations.)
      • Don’t try to fix everything at once.
      • Do not ask to meet up with your ex.
      • You have to remain positive.

IMPORTANT NOTE: You have to try these tactics in order (if possible) before you can move on to the “Taking THE Risk” section.

Tactic 1- Reminder

One of the little things I always love about relationships that are going well is how you are constantly helping each other remember things. This tactic is no different and can definitely earn you some huge brownie points if you remind him about something he forgot. Lets look at a few examples.

(Ex who watches the same T.V. show that you do)

reminder message

(Ex who has a family members birthday coming up)

reminder message 2

Tactic 2- Showing Your Support

This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. This has to be completely genuine otherwise you are better off not saying anything at all.

(Ex with family who just died.)

grandmother text

(Ex preparing for a test or exam.)

test text

(Ex who gets injured)

heal up

Tactic 3- Complimenting Your Ex Boyfriend

This tactic is a little like flirting. The key to compliments are to work them in during your conversation over text. Knowing when to slip them in will depend on your gut feeling and the context of the conversation you are having. Here is a good example of a great compliment:

compliment 1

I know it may sound a little goofy but trust me this goofy stuff works. How do I know? Let’s put it this way. I still remember TO THIS DAY when a girl who sat in front of me in my high school class turned around and said “you have beautiful eyes.”

Compliments work!

Tactic 4- Value Your Ex

Tactic 4 is very similar to tactic 3. Except this time instead of slipping in a compliment during a conversation you are going to slip in something that you have always appreciated about your ex. Here is a great example of an appreciation text:

Your best bet here is to take out a sheet of paper and write down all of the things that you have ever appreciated about your ex so you have an inventory to dive in. Oh, and don’t write down just general things. Be as specific as possible.

Tactic 5- I Miss This

I don’t need to explain this one do I? Ok, basically this is a tactic where you tell your ex boyfriend what you miss about your relationship. Be careful though because these messages need to be worded properly or your screwed.

value your ex

It is essential that you talk about experiences that your ex enjoyed. A lot of people screw up because they only talk about stuff that they miss. Make sure you are talking about stuff that your ex misses as well. Here is a good example of how this should be done.

i miss you text

Notice how the text above was super specific and brings up good memories for both parties. That is what you are aiming for.

Part 4: Taking THE Final Risk To Win Back Your Ex Boyfriend

taking-risk

Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!

(Disclaimer: Only implement THE Risk plan outlined below if he hasn’t suggested to meet up and you sense that you two are wanting to get close to a physical connection.)

It’s time to take the kids gloves off ladies! NO MORE TEXTING! At least for this part.

The Plan Is To Call him

You are going to call him with the intention of only going out for a small get together. The key here is to be non threatening. Your ex boyfriend might not be as receptive to meeting you somewhere extravagant and out of his way.

Examples of good places for a meet up: lunch, coffee, etc (lunch is better than dinner.)

8 Guidelines For Calling Your Ex Boyfriend

The phone call needs to seem innocent
Plan your phone call when you know that your ex boyfriend will have a moment to talk privately.
You want the phone call to be very pleasant, positive and short.
DO NOT bring up any bad memories from the past.
Don’t act desperate.
Manage your expectations.
NEVER CALL MORE THAN ONCE A DAY.
Don’t leave a voice mail if he lets his phone go to it.

2 Ways To Make The Call

I researched a lot on this section and discovered there are two types of very different methods to making this important phone call. The first method is the “I was in the neighborhood” and the second is the “week in advance.” I don’t have any bias towards either method so I leave the choice on which one to use entirely up to you.

Tactic 1- I Was In The Neighborhood…

This one is risky and may not get you a yes to a meet up but it allows you the ability to try again later whereas the method below this one pretty much lays your cards on the table. Ok, the way this works is simple:

You: Hey Jake, I was in the neighborhood and I thought it might be fun to catch up. Would you like to meet at Starbucks?

Again, this is risky since there is a higher chance of him saying no. However, if you two were really making a lot of progress via texting and you really think he is feeling the same way you are about your current relationship then the “I was in the neighborhood method” may do the trick for you. The obvious advantage is that you get an instant date/meet up!

Tactic 2- Week In Advance

The week in advance method is just like it sounds. You call him a week in advance and ask him out. The obvious advantage to this is that he has time to clear his schedule and make time for you ;). The obvious disadvantage is that you are laying a lot of your cards on the table and rejection will certainly hurt your feelings. Speaking of rejection…

What To Do If He Says No

Don’t panic. He will probably say something like

“Uhh…. I don’t know.”

If so…

Just chuckle and nonchalantly say “It’s only coffee” or “come on it’s only lunch” usually that “umm I don’t know” will turn into an “okay”

If he still says no then don’t panic. Even if you are tempted to

Beg,
Get Angry
Rehash arguments
Fly Off The Handle

Gracefully accept his no, say goodbye and end the conversation on good terms. This will leave the door open for more communication.

The Meet Up

the meet up

Yes, there are certain rules even for your mini date/meet up or whatever you want to call it. As stated above, you want to keep this meet up as casual as possible. Don’t plan to meet over a nice dinner. I suggest getting coffee at Starbucks with chairs and couches where the two of you can just sit and talk. Another great idea would be to meet up at a park and go for a walk together. Honestly, the dates I have enjoyed the most wasn’t anything super romantic it was just when I was enjoying the company of someone else and walking around.

Some experts recommend that you go out for a beer or something like that. Personally I am not against that I would just recommend not to drink too much. The last thing you want is to creep your ex boyfriend out by confessing your undying love. The key is to just do something that the two of you will both enjoy where you can have fun and talk.

Avoid being too romantic. Just have open and honest communication. Hopefully at the end of the meet up your ex boyfriend will want to see you again. If so, YOUR IN!

What To Do After The Date

Ok, I just added this section in from my own personal experiences from dating girls. One of the things I enjoy most is when they are the ones to text me first afterwards. I love it when they text me something like:

“Today was really fun.”

So if you have worked hard to bring your ex boyfriend back into the picture and progress is being made on multiple communication fronts, then take an opportunity and drop him a little not.  Nothing over the top.  Nothing about making a relationship commitment. You don’t want to spook your ex bf. We will talk about that in another post.  Just something that cements you enjoyed yourself.  Keep it light!

Women who do that are always off to a great start in my book. Good luck!

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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8362 Comments on "The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back"

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Sophia
Guest
My ex ended this 1st April (nearly a month ago). I begged. After day 1 he wanted to talk. After a week he never wanted to see me again. I did NC for 4 days until my sister told him to message me (I got sexually assaulted and needed emotional support). He messaged me. He seemed off. We spoke every day. Well I went one day (a couple of times) not replying. I found out I was pregnant. I told him. He was good about it. He told me to get rid of it. I got scared. Basically I messaged… Read more »
Sophia
Guest
My ex cheated on me a few months ago. I stayed with him because I love him. I have all guy friends and a lot have fancied me and make jokes and stuff about it. My ex said he doesn’t like it and me sending them hearts. So I stopped. So clearly jealous but he knows I never liked any of them that way. He moved to Germany and things ended. Blah blah blah a lot happened and I annoyed after the break up. But he told someone that he can’t stand me. When they asked why he said I… Read more »
eve
Guest

I have 2 months that me and my bf broke up i try talking to him after a month or 5 weeks but we just end fighting he told me i don’t want anything with you the only thing I said I respect that and that he was mean. he being jerk this moment idk what to do

Andrea
Guest
My ex (long distance, 1 year) broke up with me 8 months ago. l did the mistake of letting myself down, begging and pleading while he wasn’t sure about me anymore. We were still in daily touch, promised to stay friends no matter what. He suffers borderline so tends to overreact, especially when he’s being ignored. The past two months l pulled myself together as we were planning to meet up for holidays soon and maybe work things out. I went NC 3 weeks ago, when he told me he’s having a date, was telling him l needed time to… Read more »
Alex
Guest

So my ex has a new gf, would you recommend doing this while he’s with his gf? Or hoping they don’t work out and trying it then?

Alex
Guest

Sorry, what is NC?

Nausicaa
Guest
Hi EBR team. My ex broke up with me 3 months before our wedding when everything was alredy organized… one night he came home and simply said “I love you and I don’t want to breack up but not enough to marry you” . I was furious and shocked so I kicked him out of our house. A couple of days later I sent him letter to tell him to come back home also without getting married, to try again. He reply that I needed to think about… I didn’t keep any no contact rule but I asked him to… Read more »
Steph
Guest
I was with my ex for almost two years. We broke up for the most ridiculous reason. It was out of the blue. That was about two months ago. I did all of the wrong things that one shouldn’t do after a break up but we remained friends. Talked/texted each day. We were best friends. Two and a half weeks ago he told me that he loved me. Called me hon. Kissed and hugged me. Five days later the subject of FWB came up. I told him that I won’t do that. Well the very next day, he met up… Read more »
Jasmine
Guest
I just wanted to share this because I’ve been so happy 🙂 A little over am month ago my boyfriend broke up with me. He gave me the excuse of “it’s not you, it me.” I was devastated and cried all day everyday. I stayed in bed and even skipped a majority of my classes. I spent weeks upon weeks calling him, texting him, and begging for him to be with me. I also spent a countless amount of money and time on “get ex back sites” and books. I went into no contact. Throughout the time, I didn’t really… Read more »
Tash
Guest

Amor I guess everything is over because yesterday I was so emotional and was ranting to my cousin so one of my cousins text him saying if he could provide us with some answers and closure why he isn’t speaking to me. He hasn’t responded. I don’t know what to do as this was my last contact and I’ve deleted insta now as that doesn’t seem to be working. Is there any hope for me now?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Ig isn’t going to work by itself
It’s support to other things you are doing and it’s a great help over time.. You have to let him initiate but set a limit on until when you would wait before you move on..

Tash
Guest

How would I initiate again after a week? With a first contact text? I feel like I’m going to go crazy. I have anxiety now. I don’t know why I did that. I feel like as though me changing my display pics or posting on insta doesn’t seem to be working.

Tash
Guest

But amor I text him saying: I accidentally called you this morning. Truly sorry and hope you’re well. What do I do? I’ve seen him online but I don’t know if he has switched read recipients off but is this it for me now because I guess I’ve still been ignored. Help pls.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

That means you broke it.. Either you let him initiate or you initiate after a week.

Annie
Guest
Hi Amor, I’m back with a question. Yesterday I had a very long and honest conversation on the phone with my ex about everything. However, he told that his intentions with the new girl are pure and he don’t know how things are going to evolve with her, but he finds immoral to give her up right now and give us another chance. Also said that he wants us to keep in touch as friends and from time to time to talk, but after we ended the conversation he called me and said he realized is a bad idea, because… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Annie,

That depends on your standards. We can’t answer that for you because it depends on whether you think you still want him if he’s still with her

Tash
Guest

Hi amor I need your help. I’m doing my last 45 days of no contact and today I was on WhatsApp and I accidentally called my ex after 37 days of nc! What do I do? Has my nc broken again? Oh I’m so disappointed. It was early morning. So he will think I actually called him but I cancelled it within the one ring.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

No..you can continue the count. Just don’t do it again.

Rim
Guest
Hi My bf broke up with me a month ago bcoz I was asking for a serious relationship and he said he can’t take that his woman has higher social status than him. I accepted his decision and he actually the one who cried that night. We still loved each other dearly when we broke up. So, after almost a month not seeing each other with almost no contact at all, we finnally met. It was awkward… We can’t see each other in the eyes. We don’t know what to say… Then, things went terribly ungly. We, somehow end up… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Rim,

Tell him being friends is not working right now and thank him for everything.. Dont mention about nc to him..restart it and do full days. Be active in improving yourself and in posting and then take it slow in rebuilding rapport after nc.

Annie
Guest
Hi Chris, Long story-short, we’ve been together for 1 year and a half and 2 months ago we broke up. Since then, everytime I tried to speak with him he never avoided me. Almost two weeks ago we meet face to face for the first time after the break up( it was also the only time I told him to meet me). Even if he don’t mind speaking to me when I contact him, he told that is hard for him to tell me what he is feeling and to talk about what happened between us, that is hard for… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Annie,

Yes, you should.

Jasmijn
Guest
My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago by deciding to go on a break because he said he needed space and time to think. We were together for almost 7 months and everything was great until he sat me down and told me that. I tried giving him space (even though we live together in student housing). After a week we spoke again and he said he made a mistake and if we could just forget everything. He wanted sex and I said ok but only if he wasn’t going to change his mind again and he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jasmijn,

Staying in contact is worse.. Do nc for yourself, not for him and don’t sleep with him again. check this one:
How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him

Stella
Guest
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years! it got to a Time that he never pick my calls non reply my message and it’s hurt me when he do that. some time when he picks and I asked him a question he will tell me to answer them myself or tell me that if am not happy with the way he behaves I should back off. he keeps treating me like that all the time and I Love him too much to leave him. I decided to do something to hurt him, I when n took his laptop… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Stella,

check this one:
Why Do Men Fall Out Of Love With You

Gaby
Guest
Been off and on with a guy for seven years. In which he continuously left me for other women. I loved him and I love him still. I saw who he could potentially be. Even though he was controlling of who I was friends with and my social accounts. I became that way with him too. This past year we decided to give it one “last” try (always say that). Anyway he was the man I always knew he could be but I couldn’t help but get jealous and a little hurtful when he’d go out and leave me hanging.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Caitlin
Guest
my partner of 4 years and I have split up 3 months ago due to my mistakes not chating or anything like that, he already started hanging out doing dinner and whatever else with this girl even takes her out in public with no care, between these 3 months it has been pretty horrible for both of us , we do have a child so we cant avoid the seeing each other at least once a week, I am absouletly shattered that he could move on so fast. Is that fast ? is that counted as a rebound or could… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Tash
Guest

So he changed his display pic on WhatsApp to a place we went to together last year. It’s the same scenery picture we took together. Does it mean anything? Or should I not read into it too much?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

If it’s just one pic, don’t read into too much..

Eve
Guest
Hi Amor! He apologized by himself already. I am sent by an organization to the academy for a week to write an article about it. We didn’t talk for two weeks now and I don’t know if I should let him know, that he will see me in April at the academy, in August at an international event and from September at the university as I was accepted to his uni. It would be a bit shocking for him to tell him all these, when he assumed that he will never see me again after the breakup. What should I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Don’t tell him now.. It would be better if you’re already there so that it doesn’t look like you’re expecting him to be excited or to meet with you.

Tash
Guest

How long show I do no contact for now? Obv I haven’t spoken to him since last week however his parents came over to see my family due a death in the family, I was happened to be there. Does that mean no contact is broke again? I actually don’t have any hope left anymore. This guy is just too heartless

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

It doesn’t break it but I think you should do at least 45 days or move on..

Eve
Guest
Hi EBR team! My first post was on 21 December, when I was rebuilding connection with my ex and needed some advice. We talked, even videochated as we were in a long distance relationship and since then we were fine, having small talks, snapping and starting to have longer conversations. There were moments when he acted cold or when I needed to sustain the conversation, which made me really frustrated. However, in January he left to an academy. On his first week there, we had small talks, like we exchanged 2-3 sentences about the academy. I assumed that he is… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Eve,

Apologies, depend on the person if he wants to.. We can’t really say you can make another person apologize to you. Why are you going to the academy?

M
Guest
Hi Chris. I don’t know if my situation is worth turning to. If it can be saved or if I should even begin to understand how to get my ex back. He moved on 5 times and came back after every girl. He never could commit to me 100% and then finally he gave up on me and ran to the next girl really fast even put a ring on her finger, he told me it wasn’t what I thought it was. They were on a break now and he and I got to talking again and I went over… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Tash
Guest

Please help. On Tuesday i texted him a long text just apologising for everything. My cousin called him twice and he never called her back. He’s ignoring me so bad but I can see him online on WhatsApp. Why is he doing this? And what shall I do now? When will he see me in a positive light? Will he ever. Please help. I have tried the nc twice already, but not fully. Broke the first one after 26 days and broke the second one after 33 days. I guess I have no hope now.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

stop apologizing and chasing and don’t involve others too, that just makes him more annoyed. If you’re going to do a last nc, stick to it.

Heidi Johnson
Guest
HELP! My boyfriend broke up with after 5 1/2 months of dating. We met on a dating site and we hit it off immediately. We had amazing dates and talks. We had a powerful connection immediately. I met his dad he met my dad. He lives 45 minutes away from me but we still saw each other every 10 days or so, sometimes more frequent. He wanted to be exclusive after date 3. We talked about taking trips in the future and other plans. We did have the where is this going talk and it seemed we were on the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Heidi,

Build rapport first.. If you’re texting, next stage is calls before meet ups

Tash
Guest

What would you suggest for me now? I bombarded him with texts and calls yesterday and then this morning I text him apologising for what he said, and I also said I wouldn’t contact him again. It’s been two and a half months since he contacted me. I’m so depressed. How do I go about this now? I think he might have found someone new.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You have a small chance because you’ve already done two nc right? And you still ended up being emotional and now apologizing to him.. Either move on or really stick to genuinely changing your life for the better for yourself, not for him before trying to rebuild rapport..

Tash
Guest

I’ve broke the no contact after 33 days. Do I have any hope or that’s it now. I got no response too.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You’re overthinking it.. The nc rule is for you to focus in yourself, so that when you initiate and try to rebuild rapport, you’ll be thinking rationally instead of being emotional. We only recommend up to three tries after nc.. after that if it doesn’t go well, that means it would be better to move on.

Tash
Guest
I’m on day 31 of no contact. You told me to do 45 day no contact. I was on holiday: I’m back now and I feel extra worse, the worst ever. I miss him so much but I feel he’s still bitter and the no contact work. Can you please help? Obv after 45 days I have to do the text message but how do I do it if I’ve already sent a no contact message last month after 26 days of no contact? What do I say? And what if he doesn’t reply. Please help. Why am I feeling… Read more »
help
Guest
Im a 35 female and was dating a 36 Year guy for three months. We met through a dating app. We had previously dated 2 years ago for a few months but things fizzled out. He lives an hour and a half away from me, We were in contact daily via texts and saw each other approx once every 7-10 days. During a date I asked him if he felt ready to come off the dating app, be exclusive and see where things would go he said yes. The next day he texted saying he was just out of a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

It does look like you’re the rebound.. If you’re going to do nc rule, don’t tell him when you’re in his town

Marie
Guest

Hi EBR Team,
I just saw him at the mall. i froze and my eyes became teary. i didnt know what to do. i saw him looked at me for a long time. i felt i wasnt casual or professional. and im currently on my 14th day of the NC rule and have no plans of breaking it.what should i do if we ever bump in a mall during and after the NC rule?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

avoid being emotional.. just look away or if he approaches you, be civil but end the convo asap, don’t talk about feelings or relationships and say goodbye politely right away.. If he’s the one who started talking to you about feelings, listen and tell him you understand and thank him for being honest and then politely say goodbye.. just be indifferent and polite.

Ida
Guest
Hey Chris, I did the NC it worked out so well, he texted me over and over again and I finally agreed to meet. Our first date went so fast, he said he missed me so much but after two hours he started to say that he does not know what he wants, I told him we just take it easy and see were everything goes. He agreed we went on more dates, and it was an amazing time, and then we had sex bc I thought we are back together bc he even kissed me in front of our… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ida,
that means you need to restart nc..
check this one:
How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him

Marie
Guest
Hi EBR team, Thats a really hard question to answer. we started as close friends in our pre med course and the we became a couple after pre med course before med school started. so i know him as a friend but there are some of him i dont know as a lover that much because were just 1 yr and 3 mos when we broke up. the important thing i knew about him being in a relationship is that he is easily gets tired or gets fed up if his circumstances are not reach. what he did to he,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

1 year is too long..it’s like you’re letting him string you along. You have to remind yourself what your standards and priorities are because we get what we allow.

Marie
Guest

Hi EBR team, do you think even if his reason on why he broke up with me is that he had fallen out of love / he does like me being a person but he dislike my attitude. Will i ever get him back? I still got that feeling he still loves me. But i dont want put false hope on myself. What should i do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Dont hope for what’s left but ask yourself, if he’s going to see and talk to you after nc, would he regret not being with you?

Rainy
Guest
Hi there, me and my bf was together for about 5 months both 20 yrs old live together, and before he decided to cut it off again, we had a fight and we broke up, 4 days after I went to find him and we got back together. After 5 days, he decided to cut it off cause he said he was soft hearted and he doesnt like me that much anymore, he doesnt feel like spending time on me and he is tired and doesnt want a relationship. So after few days, the night before he going home, I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Rainy,

he probably still has feelings left for you.. are you going to do the no contact rule?

Rainy
Guest
My ex bf broke up with me again. Before that, we had a fight and I apologized to him at that night and everything was okay. But the next day he decided to cut it off and I begged him and he still doesnt want it after 4 days of NC I went to find him and we got back together for 5 days and he decided to cut it off again. He said he was soft hearted when we got back together, he is tired of being in a relationship and he doesnt like me that much anymore and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Rainy,

he probably still has feelings left for you.. are you going to do the no contact rule?

Marie
Guest

Hi EBR team, what advice would you have for me for my current situation?
im starting my 30 day NC. and its been 4 days. i it hate when memories keep on rushing to my head.

Marie
Guest

this is still marie, i forgot to add that i gave him an ultimatum 1 yr to try and think . and if he wishes to come back ill give him a year.
ps he doesnt had a long term relationship his relationship would last 1-9mos. and im the longest relationship he had

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Marie,

Yes, you will initiate..Check this one:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

Marie
Guest
Hi there, me and my 1yr and 3 mos boyfriend broke up recently like last Dec 19. We had issues but the main point was he had fallen out of love because he doesnt know how to open up our problem that needs to be solve. so for two mos he hid it from me until our relationship faded away. Before the break up we were fine and very happy until one night we had a fight, he just exploded and felt that way. i started the no contact rule after the break up until on the 4th day (Christmas… Read more »
Eve
Guest
Hi EBR Team, I had a long distance relationship, which ended because my boyfriend wanted to be alone. He had many bad relationships with really short breaks between them. We have been together for almost a year, everything was great, he always told me that I make him happy, till the moment we broke up. When saying goodbye he asked me to write him, because he doesn’t want to loose me because he has feelings for me, even if he doesn’t feel right to tell me, that he loves me… A few weeks ago I have contacted him, as I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi eve,

It’s too early to say you’re friendzoned. Just keep building rapport and attraction until you go to his academy

Linet Odunga
Guest
Hello Amor My boyfriend broke up with me a weak ago,I was really devastating. He liked me since primary and now that we were in university he decided to tell me. At first I was reluctant coz I was just from a relationship that I ended. He didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend but to get to know each other and let nature take its course. We grew closer and he became my boyfriend and we were also best friends. He introduced me to his parents and everything was just going well. We would have small fights but came… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Linet,

Have you tried our quiz? Why not do the no contact rule first?

Tash
Guest

Hi amor thanks for the reply. Basically my birthday is next week. He may text me or he may not. What do I do if he does text and what do I do if he doesn’t text me? Because you said I should do 45 days no contact.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

you can’t reply to him if he texts you.. if he doesn’t, it doesn’t matter because you should be focused in your own activities..

Tash
Guest

Amor please give me your advice about what I should do now. I feel so helpless. I’m going away next week on holiday with my Parents for two weeks and will be returning early January. He knew about this. Because I broke the no contact after 24 days, what do you recommend I should do now? Because you said it’s less effective if I keep on doing it. What shall I do about my profile pic on WhatsApp? What shall I put it to now. Please help. I have a fear that he will forget me.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that means you have to do one last nc of at least 45 days.. and then slowly rebuild rapport after it while continuing improving yourself and being active in posting.. if it doesn’t work, that means you have to move on.

Tash
Guest

Hi amor it’s tash again. So I broke no contact after 24days with a first contact message and I got no response. I don’t know what to do now, anyway one of his friends messaged me via Instagram yesterday, they hardly speak but I feel as though I shouldn’t talk to his mate that much? Please give me advice. There’s not much info on no replies from ex. Do I have to start no contact again? Plus I’m going away on holiday next week too. He knows that too

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

The more you restart nc, the less it can help you overtime..especially if you keep breaking because you’re rushing things out of desperation..check this one:
EBR 041: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Doesn’t Respond To You

Tash
Guest

Hi amor. I’m on 23rd day of no contact. I feel like my ex is doing no contact on me, I just feel very negative about it. He still doesn’t view my snaps. Why is he going out of his way to do this?! What else do I do now. My 30 day no contact will be over next week but I feel like it just won’t work on him.

Kates
Guest
My boyfriend and I broke up after a 3 year relationship. He was away for 6 months of it working oversees and traveling. I think trying to find himself a little bit. I visit him there for a month and we did some backpacking and had an amazing time together. When he finally got home I was going through a hard time where I was struggling with a bit of depression (bit of a family history). I never talked to him about it because I was in complete denial about what was really going on. I needed a reason to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kates,

Honestly, that would just sound like you’re making an excuse.. If you really changed, your actions should show it.. and don’t rush things when you’re still trying to rebuild rapport.

Tash
Guest

Amor after finding out that his sister blocked me on WhatsApp, I got my sister and cousin to also block my ex. I think he kind of clicked on as soon as because he blocked my cousin. But obviously I can see as he hasn’t blocked me. Was it my mistake to have told them to block my ex? I have this feeling that he may be angry with me. Does that mean my no contact may not work. HELP pls.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Nope.. Because now it looks like you are stalking his and his sisters’ social media accounts, and now you’re trying to get back at him by doing the same because you were hurt… Have them unblock him but don’t say aything to him…. Extend to 45 days and go back to being more active in your life…

Sha
Guest
Hi, My bf dumped me 3 weeks ago after 2 1/2 years of being together, unfortunately, our time together was rough. We had a lot of moments of fighting and making up and staying together. I was going through some personal things and he doesn’t like to communicate. I am the complete opposite and I am able to talk. I have had trust issues with him since we dated. But when we broke up it was over something stupid, he wanted a day to himself with his phone power off so nobody can reach him included myself and to me… Read more »
Tash
Guest

I feel like I have no hope though, why did his sister block me? I’ve never done anything to her. I’m on 12th day of no contact and feel awful. I’m actjally more depressed now even though I’m trying to go gym. Remember he said he wanted space even as friends then why has he gone awol? I don’t know if I can do 45day nc. Please reply and give me advice.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Don’t focus on that because it’s not helping and there can be a lot of reasons why..Don’t jump to conclusions

Tash
Guest
It’s me again. I’m on 11th day of no contact and I’m so sad. I just recently found out his sister has blocked me on WhatsApp and when I tried to add her on snapchat she declined me. I honestly don’t know what I’ve done to be honest. I remember before I went into no contact, me and her spoke and it was an alright convo, but at the end we spoke about him and etc. I’m just so upset. Like he doesn’t even view my snaps and when he does, he only viewed one which I think was done… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Do less of snaps, do more posts that just stays there unless you remove them..and make them public..if it doesn’t work later on, then just continue improving yourself while moving on..