This may make you upset, but it’s the truth. I can’t guarantee that you are going to get your ex boyfriend back, I just can’t.

We are dealing with a male human being here and as much as I would love to be able to just make him desperate to get back with you, I don’t have the mind control powers that so many others in this “how to get your ex boyfriend back” community seem to have!

Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of.

Well, I intend to give you plenty of value and cover off on some new ideas and tactics that you can put to use right now! Actual strategies that allow you to get him back without looking desperate.

This major guide is aimed at giving you practical and actionable ideas to accomplish just that.  This major Guide will be divided into 4 Major Parts, with many headings and an almost endless list of ideas and tactics you can put to use today!

So enjoy and reach out to me in the Comment Section if you have any questions about winning back your ex bf.

Part 1: Learning How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Looking Desperate

relationship infographic

I am not going to lie to you. I put a lot of work into this page (1 full month to be exact.) I read relationship books, I took notes on speeches that dating experts gave, I bought online products, I listened my friends tell me stories about what they did to reunite with their exes and tested out some of the things I learned.

You are going to discover that this page is really long, in-depth but more importantly, it is going to help you to not only get your boyfriend back but to rediscover yourself in the process.

What We Will Be Covering in this Get Your Ex Back Guide

    • A Step by Step System To Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
    • 10 Helpful Tips To Get Him Running Back To You
    • The Best Way To Contact Your Ex Bf
    • Building Up Your Personal Confidence
    • What To Do & What Not To Do to Make Him The Desperate One
    • What To Do If Your Boyfriend Cheated On You
    • How To Get Him Back If You Cheated On Him
    • What To Do If He Has A Girlfriend
    • How To Define Your Dating Goals
    • How No Contact Fits Into Your Ex Back Strategy
    • How To First Reach Out To Your Ex Boyfriend
    • How You Go About Finally Having The First In Person Meeting

(Side Note: The system I have outlined on this page will work for teenagers in high school, married couples, people who haven’t seen each other in six months or two years and people who just got out of a long distance relationship. Basically, I am saying this system is universal!)

I thought the best way to go about the rest of this page would be to take an in-depth look at each step of the ex recovery process starting with your break up and what to do immediately after it.

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10 New Ways To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back As Quickly As Possible Without Looking Desperate!

1. Don’t Be In Such a Hurry To Try And Get Him Back – It’s a Mistake!

I know.  You are thinking to yourself, “look, I came here to find out the fastest way possible to get my ex boyfriend back where he belongs.  I have to have him back”.  But trust me, things are probably pretty crazy right now if you are just coming out of the breakup, so don’t make it worse by rushing through things, being overly impulsive , and doing or saying something you will regret later.

2. Keep a Journal – It Can Help You Deal Better With the Onslaught of the Break Up Emotions.

Right now is your time.  While your instincts are to obsess over your ex boyfriend and run through your mind over and over again as to what you did wrong, you have to stop thinking this way.  So what I want you to do is start writing down your vision of the future and what you want.  Don’t think so much about what happened in the past, but focus on what you are going to do to start healing.

3. Avoid The Temptation To Text and Call Him

I am going to warn you now.  You will be possessed by this intense desire to contact him.  If only you could talk to him, you think, you would just explain everything and all would be forgotten.  Well, it seldom works that way.  Chances are your efforts will be ignored which will just make you feel worse.  Or you will successfully reach your ex boyfriend and he and you will end up having a heated or disappointing conversation, leaving you feeling bad and rejected yet again.  It’s almost always a no win situation because neither one of you are well equipped right now to deal with your emotional states.  So just cool your heels and keep reading!

4. Become The Ungettable Girl Because That is Truly What Your Ex Boyfriend Wants – Even If He Doesn’t Know It Yet!

The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.

5. Understand How To Use Radio Silence To the Benefit of Your Ex Boyfriend

A lot of people think that when they implement Radio Silence (No contact) with their Ex Bf, that it is all about denying them or punishing them.  But that is not it at all.  It is really about allowing your Ex Boyfriend time to get over his anger and resentment and sort through his feelings.  Make no mistake, bitterness is usually just hovering over a break up couple and your guy might be holding on to his fair share. So allow for some space.  Once the ugly thoughts are out of his mind, the good thoughts and memories will eventually return as he will most assuredly start missing you, sometimes terribly.

6. Be Creative in Your Efforts To Attract Your Ex Bf

Sometimes you have to get creative to get through your ex boyfriend’s thick skull.  He may be one of those stubborn ones who figures that he will wait for you to make the first move. He might just need a stimulus.  Read about it in in #7 below!

7. Stay One Step Ahead of Your Ex Boyfriend

Consider picking up something that he doesn’t have.  It’s called “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” and is probably one of the finest ebooks I have written on this topic of ex recovery.  What better advantage is there than having a Companion Guide that helps you with just about any situation you might face.

8. Don’t Try To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.

9. Contact Me and Get Some Personalized Coaching

Sometimes the break up is so unique or troubling or complex, that it requires some specialized coaching.  Or sometimes, people do better if they can talk to someone who is an expert at helping folks with their relationship troubles.  Well, if you fall into that category, then you are in luck.  All you need to do is reach out to me (i.e. click Coaching Services in my website’s Menu Section) and I am sure we can work out something!

10. You Might Benefit From Joining My Private Facebook Group and/or Picking Up the Texting Bible

You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.

Using The  No Contact Rule To Lure Your Ex Boyfriend Back Into Your Arms!

(If you want a more in-depth look at the No Contact Rule please visit this page.)

still thinking about your ex

Ok, before we get into some of the soul searching you will want to do or discuss serious strategies you will want to consider, let’s talk a bit about the advantages of  implementing  the no contact rule.  In Part 2 of this Guide, we are going to talk a lot more about this Principle.

But given its importance to your overall strategic aims, let’s discuss it’s role in the aftermath of a break up and how you can leverage it to your full advantage.

The No Contact Rule involves means you are not going to be  texting your ex, talking, and especially not  stalking your ex for about a full month. That is 30 days of essentially cutting your boyfriend out of your life. Remember, don’t dig into his life and don’t Google + or Facebook him.

If you don’t believe in the no contact rule then all I can say to you is that you had better start believing in it.

Do you remember earlier when I said I spent a lot of time researching this topic? Yea well, I only took a look at credible sources and every one and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE recommends the no contact rule.

The Reasons Why No Contact Works on Your Boyfriend After a Break Up

Reason #1: Helping You Get Through the Pain of What Happened Between You and Your Ex Boyfriend

Right after a break up is when you are at your emotional peak and I don’t mean a good emotional peak, I am talking about anger, hate, basically everything that Yoda from Star Wars said to avoid. The no contact rule is going to give you time to work on yourself and calm down a little bit so you can think more rationally instead of emotionally.

Reason #2: Helping Your Ex Boyfriend Realize You Have Value and Should Be Missed

Your ex boyfriend is probably going to start wondering why you aren’t talking to him and possibly may even begin to miss you.

Reason #3: Learning To Ignore Your Ex Bf Works in Your Favor When he is Angry or Resentful

He will probably try to call or text you during this no contact period. It is important that you ignore him.
You may hear from mutual friends that he called you a bad name/s or you may get the feeling that he hates you or wants nothing to do with you. Don’t worry, he is emotional and doesn’t mean it. Besides, after 30 days he will change his tune.

2 Special Cases Where You Have To Contact Your Ex Bf During No Contact

(Oh, just an FYI. I actually recently put together a massive book on the no contact rule. Check it out.)

There are certain special cases where it is pretty much impossible to “ignore” your ex without seeming like a jerk. Here are those specific cases and what you should do if you find yourself in them.

Case 1: If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Your goal is to be a respectful roommate. Make sure any interactions you do have with the person are short, pleasant and to the point. Make sure you are as positive as possible.

Case 2: If You and Your Boyfriend Have Kids Together

The last thing you want is to come off like a jerk. So, if you are in this situation make sure you keep your interactions to a minimum. Keep things short, simple and positive.

Are you seeing a trend here?

What Caused The Breakup Between You and Your Ex Boyfriend?

breakup cartoon

Knowing what caused your breakup is important because it can give you an idea of where your relationship went wrong and how you can possibly correct it in the future.

A Word On What Your Ex Boyfriend Probably Thinks

(Disclaimer- these views reflect the average male. Not every single male acts according to these guidelines.)

Typically men don’t like to hurt your feelings. Thus, it is entirely possible that whatever reason they gave you for the breakup may not be completely true. I’ll admit that we men sometimes don’t even know why we want out of a relationship we just do.

However, I would say that the average man will leave a relationship when his is no longer getting what he needs. No I am not talking about sex here (although that can lead to problems for some men.) I am talking about admiration.

Men like to be admired for who they are. They love the newness of a relationship, want respect and like to see significant interest coming from females.

The best way I can describe this phenomenon would be like this:

You just started dating a new guy. You are in that honeymoon phase and everything is great. You are constantly complimenting him and giving him acknowledgment that he is wanted by you. Basically he loves hearing that you are interested in him. However, as time goes on things begin to change. You don’t compliment him as much because you don’t need to land him anymore. This is when the problems begin for him.

Another thing that you always hear guys saying is the fact that they are constantly nagged to death by their girlfriends.

Let me break this down for you…

Nagged To Death = A man looks at this as if his woman no longer is satisfied with what he has to offer or bring to the table. This doesn’t mean you can’t always express your feelings you just need to do a better job at mixing them in with love and admiration for him.

5 Reasons Why Your Ex Boyfriend Broke Up With You?

(For a more in-depth look at what your options are if HE broke up with you please visit this page.)

reasons for breakup infographic

Getting dumped sucks and when your boyfriend decides he doesn’t want you anymore it just tears you apart from the inside out. I feel for you but don’t worry because we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things. Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex boyfriend gave you for why he chose to break up is really why he decided to let you go. This may sound a bit mean, but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable.

So, let’s get to it!

Here are some of the most common reasons for break ups:

1. Your ex boyfriend didn’t feel attracted to you anymore:

Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.

2. You ex boyfriend was getting bored with you:

This is another legitimate reason for a breakup. Unfortunately, in my personal opinion it says more about of his lack of character (unless you were really boring but I doubt that) than anything you actually did. Luckily, seeming boring is quite easy to fix!

3. Your boyfriend’s emotional and sexual needs weren’t fulfilled by you:

A lot of times this can be happening but you won’t have any clue. Men aren’t the best communicators especially when it comes to breaking bad news. The last thing they want is to hurt you so they will just break up with you and give you some general reason. Luckily again this can be addressed!

4. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know what he wants:

In this case it really is the classic line “it’s not you, it’s me.” This one can be a little harder to come back from but trust me it can be done if you are smart about how you approach the situation.

5. Your Boyfriend Was Cheating on You So He Decide To End It With You

Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.

(If YOU cheated on your boyfriend then click this link for more information.)

(If HE cheated on you and you want him back click here for more information.)

One of the most popular questions I get around here is “how do I get my ex boyfriend back if I cheated on him/ if he cheated on me.” First things first, when it comes to cheating you need to understand one thing. Men and women cheat for very different reasons.

Men cheat because they are horny.

Women cheat because they aren’t feeling appreciated or other emotional reasons.

A lot of times what can happen is an ex can realize what they missed about you once they are settled in with their new person.

(If you were abused either physically or emotionally I recommend that you NEVER get back together with an ex.)

5 Reasons Why Girls End It With Their Boyfriends (But Now You Want Him Back)

(For a more in-depth look at what your options are if YOU broke up with him please visit this page.)

peak breakup times according to facebook

A huge misconception out there is that because you did the dumping it is a lot easier to get back with your ex. This is completely NOT TRUE. Trust me, your going to have to do a lot of work, perhaps more than the women who were dumped.

Here are some of the most common reasons why you may have broken up with your boyfriend:

1. You believed that the grass was greener and things could be better:

Everyone always thinks they could do better until they go out and realize that the relationship they had before wasn’t so bad.

2. You mistakenly believed that your ex boyfriend betrayed or cheated on you:

Ah so you had a sneaking suspicion but were proven wrong. This is bad for you for a couple of reasons. First off, your boyfriend surely will feel worried about incurring your wrath whenever they want to do something. Secondly, it makes your ex feel like you never trusted them. Luckily, you can work on this and prove to him that you are no longer the person who suspects him every time he goes out (without you.)

3. Your ex boyfriend cheated on you:

Honestly, this is tough for me to give advice on. You were faithful but he was not. I would say think very carefully if this person is worth getting in a relationship with again. Personally, cheating to me is a big no no and I don’t think I could forgive that so easily. But hey, that’s me.

4. You don’t feel attracted to your boyfriend anymore:

They let themselves go huh? You were too familiar with them and it just got old or boring? Make sure that you are very serious about wanting to get back with this person before you keep reading.

5. There was a big fight with him and a break up occurred:

A while back I was dating someone and it always seemed that we would fight over the silliest things. Now, I like to think that I am generally a calm person but for whatever reason my girlfriend and I would always fight. So, I went to the most trusted of friends for advice, my dad. He explained to me that a relationship is like a bank account. Every time you have a good experience or something of that nature you are putting money into the account. However, every time you have an argument or a fight you are taking money out of the account. The key thing here is to have more green deposits than red withdrawals in your relationship bank account.

(If you were abused either physically or emotionally I recommend that you NEVER get back together with an ex.)

Defining Your Goals Helps You With Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

One thing that needs to be made clear is that if you are going to seriously invest the time and effort to get your ex boyfriend back you are going to have to adopt a new mindset.

At one time you were dating this person. Maybe it was serious, maybe it was casual. Whatever the facts you need to accept that your old relationship is dead. Not only that but you want it to stay dead. A lot of times women make the mistake of picking up right where they left off whenever they do get their ex back.

Why in the world would they want that? Your old relationship had problems or failed right? So, the last thing you want to do is resume that doomed relationship.

The big goal that you should strive for is to create a relationship with your ex boyfriend that is not only new but better.

I am in to helping women who want a lasting relationship with their boyfriends. This may sound goofy but I like those women who so strongly believe that they are going to be together with their exes for good that they are willing to try anything.

To a casual observer that may sound really risky but personally I love women with that belief that after they get their boyfriend back they will be with him forever. Those are the type of women who work really hard to create that NEW and BETTER relationship.

So, the big take away that I want you to get from this section is that your ultimate goal assuming this process works for you is that you are discarding your old relationship and creating a new one that is stronger.

Having A Legitimate Reason For Getting Back Together

(For a more in-depth look at legitimate reasons for getting back together please visit this page.)

If you can’t already tell I truly do enjoy helping women strategize on how to get their ex boyfriends back. However, one thing that I have neglected to mention so far is that there are certain women (not you) that don’t have legitimate reasons for wanting to get back together with their boyfriends.

As a general rule it is good to have a legitimate reason for getting back together with your significant other. Here are some of the reasons that ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE.

      • Saying you will die without him.
      • That he’s your whole life.
      • You’ll never find someone better.
      • Your not happy alone.
      • It will be different next time.

Again, these reasons are not good enough to get back together. The fact of the matter is that you can be perfectly fine without this person if you are citing any of these.

Here are a few reasons that ARE ACCEPTABLE.

      • The breakup was a rash decision.
      • You had a huge fight that caused the breakup.
      • You were happy almost all of the time you were together.
      • Both of you want the same things out of a life together.

Part 2 – What To Do During The No Contact Period

what to do?

Just a heads up as this is an extremely important section. Remember when we talked abut how you are going to implement the no contact rule for about a month (30 days?) Yes, well you are not going to just sit on your butt and twiddle your thumbs during this time. No, you are going to work towards your goal of a new and better relationship by focusing on the one thing you can control, yourself!

Reminder Of The No Contact Period Rules

      • No texting, calling, emailing, Facebook communications or writing your ex boyfriend.
      • It is recommended that you don’t dig into your exes life at all.
      • If your ex calls, texts, emails or Facebooks you, you are not allowed to respond.
      • Don’t listen to anything your ex says about you (even if it is hurtful names.)
      • If you break your no contact period agreement (talking to him in any shape or form before the 30 days are up) then you have to start your 30 day no contact period over.

Things To Avoid During The No Contact Period

      • Sleeping all day because of how you feel.
      • Staying home and not going out.
      • Drinking too much (alcohol.)
      • Telling everyone you have ever known about the breakup.
      • Making big life decisions.
      • Calling in sick to work frequently.

Ok, so those are pretty much the most basic things of the big NO-NO’s of the no contact period. Now we get to the good stuff. Honestly, I am getting excited here because this is where you start taking the first steps of getting your ex boyfriend back. Granted, they are baby steps but they are still steps in the right direction.

Alright, so the biggest thing I want you to focus on for the no contact period is the fact that you are using this month to become the best version of yourself that you have ever been. There is a 100% chance, especially if you are ignoring him, that your ex is going to check up on you during this period and instead of sulking around feeling sorry for yourself he is going to see a strong, sexy, fun-having woman!

(Disclaimer: please don’t take offense ladies, some of the things I cover here are meant to help you not to criticize.)

Physical Changes Can Attract To Your Ex Boyfriend

change your appearance

First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”

Where did I come up with this? Actually this really happened to me. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. She looked so good in fact that all I could think was “how in the hell did I let her get away?”

6 Physical Changes You Can Make To Arouse Your Ex Boyfriend

1. You can change your hairstyle

I’ll admit, I am not a hairstyle guru but everywhere I researched claimed that this was an excellent tactic to looking good for your man so who am I to argue with the experts.

2. Get in shape

There is no argument that you can make to me to say that this isn’t a good idea. This is especially true if (no offense) you are a little overweight. However, even if you are a workout fanatic don’t let your breakup change that side of you.

3. Clean up your diet

Again, this is another great way to feel better about yourself and notice how it is the opposite of sitting around eating ice cream all day.

4. Update your wardrobe

I am giving you permission to go out and shop! You can thank me later when you are on your mans arm.

5. Clean up your smile

No, I don’t mean smile more even though you should do that. I am talking about literally looking at how you can get a better smile. If you have bad teeth then go to the dentist and see if you can get them cleaned.

6. Clean up any skin problems you have

If you have excessive acne or any unwanted moles you can get those taken care of. I know it may be uncomfortable to talk about but in this case you need to suck it up and get the proper treatment if you don’t want them.

(I am not recommending plastic surgery or anything of that nature.)

Mental Changes That Can Help You Regain Your Confidence And Feel Good About Yourself

best activites during no contact

So, now that you know what changes you need to make physically lets talk about arguably the harder thing to improve, your mental state. One of the biggest assets about the no contact period is that it gives you time to calm down a bit from the mental tension that was your breakup. This section is going to be all about how to get through your breakup and heal emotionally. However, in order for that to happen you need to take a few actions first.

5 Mental Changes You Can Make To Help You Cope With Your Ex Boyfriend Break Up

1. Focus on work and Recreation, Not Your Ex

It is good to distract your mind for a while and what better way to do that than with work. Careful though, you don’t want to be one of those career first women and lose sight of your goal. Remember, focusing on work in this particular case should be used to take your mind of your ex boyfriend.

2. Renew a hobby

I don’t have to explain this one do I? Ok, basically if there was anything fun that you used to do (tennis, golf, puzzles, collecting, hiking, photography, music) renew it.

3. Write in a journal

Sometimes your mind is constantly racing with thoughts about your ex boyfriend and since you can’t talk to him for 30 days it might be a good idea to jot your thoughts down in a journal.

4. Have fun

If your friends invite you out to a party or club I would recommend that you go out and have fun with them. Honestly time is the number one thing that can help you get over a break up but the second best thing is definitely having fun.

5. Reconnect with friends

Friends are great. You can talk to them about your problems and they will listen. You can rely on them in the bad times to pick you up. Careful though, don’t let them talk you into calling him before the no contact period is up.

To learn more about what other changes you can make during the no contact rule please check out my newest book,

The No Contact Rule Book

How Other People Can Help You Get Your Ex Back

I thought this deserved it’s own section because there is a lot to talk about here. During your no contact period I recommend that you go on a date…. with someone new! Yes, I am saying to go on a date with someone who isn’t your ex. I know you may be a bit hesitant but trust me it’s a smart idea. Here are a few reasons why.

It shows you are moving on- In a strange way you kind of want your ex to know that you are on a date with someone. You appear self-assured and strong which are very attractive qualities.

It can build up your self confidence- Dating other people helps you feel a little bit more confident. Knowing that someone finds you attractive is always a great feeling. Not to mention the person you may be on the date with might be extremely fun.

It will help keep your mind off your ex (probably)- When you are busy you have less time to mope around or think about your ex. Instead of being completely miserable and depressed you are doing something constructive and dare I say having a bit of fun?

It will cure any phobias you may have developed- Women who haven’t been in a relationship for a long time may feel a little worried about meeting someone new. Don’t worry at all. Just focus on having fun with someone and making new friendships.

My Ex Boyfriend Is Dating Someone Else

(If you want an in-depth look at what to do if your ex boyfriend is dating someone else visit this page.)

This is yet another one of those very popular questions I get: “Chris, how do I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend?”

If you find yourself in this unfortunate situation I have two words for you.

Be Cool.

Studies have shown that 90% of rebound relationships don’t work out in the long run so the odds are probably in your favor. There is no reason to start harassing him or the girl he is dating. Under no circumstances will you contact him. In fact, DO NOT CONTACT HIM OR HER. The further away from the breakup your ex gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. This means he will forget the bad times and remember the good times.

So, be glad because it may be a blessing in disguise.

If you are still not convinced then all I can say to you is this. The tactics you will learn on this page are probably going to make you more attractive than the girl he is dating so just…

Be Cool.

One Last Word About using Radio Silence (No Contact) To Heal

You may notice that a lot of what you are doing during the no contact period is working on bettering yourself. I am not saying it’s going to be easy but doing what I recommended above will really help to heal you. Oh, and you may realize after some time that you don’t really want to get back with your ex (stranger things have happened.)

 Part 3:  How Should You First Make Contact With Your Ex Boyfriend

(If you want a more in-depth look at the ways to contact your ex please visit this page.)

(If you want more information on the strategies behind texting please click this link.)

funny text message

Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?

Well, the truth is that there is no best method. Every single relationship is different and will require different methods. Some people prefer calling while some prefer letters. Personally I prefer texting. So, from this point on I am just going to be focusing on that method and the best practices using it. But first….

Why I Prefer Texting As Your Initial Contact With Your Ex Boyfriend

As stated above, I personally prefer texting over any method of contact for a number of reasons. If you are a little hesitant to text then I am hoping this section can sway you. Lets look at each method individually starting with..

Should You Call Your Ex on the Phone?

Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.

Writing A Letter To Your Ex Boyfriend

I don’t know about you but if I got a letter out of the blue from an ex girlfriend I might be a little creeped out. The last thing you want to be is perceived as creepy or stalker like and writing a letter the wrong way can definitely hurt you.

What About Texting Your Ex Boyfriend

Honestly, it is hard to think of any disadvantages when using text messages. Texting is the communication highway for today’s couples. You and your boyfriend probably texted each other all the time and rarely shared them with anyone. Basically texting is super intimate. You can share cute pictures and do all sorts of really fun things. Not to mention it is impossible to raise your voice over a text message. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. This is something that calling on the phone won’t allow you.

The Game Plan Around Building Attraction With Your Ex Boyfriend

Before you plot to get your boyfriend back you are going to need a plan right? Well, it just so happens I have come up with the ultimate game plan for getting your ex back. I present to you “The Game Plan” a number of cool psychological tricks that, if implemented correctly, will give you the best chance to get your ex boyfriend back.

The Game Plan

A lot of the plan outlined above may not make sense to you right away. In fact, I would be shocked if it did. Don’t worry though because I am going to go through every single step in a very-in depth manner.

However, before we hit the ground running I feel it is important to mention a few things. The game plan outlined above is not set in stone. Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined. Knowing what to do can sometimes depend on your gut. So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving.

10 Important Things To Know Before You Contact Your Ex

Before you contact your ex boyfriend, there are certain rules you are going to have to abide by. These rules will definitely give you the best shot at winning him back. Let’s take a look:

1. Controlling the conversation is key that means that you should always be the one who brings the conversation to a close, YOU WANT TO BE IN CONTROL.
2. Typically you want your ex to only think about the most positive experiences during your relationship.
3. You will need to get in touch with what you and your ex once had. What made you a successful couple? I recommend taking out a pen and paper and brainstorming.
4. You also have to know what he disliked about your relationships.
5. You have to know his likes and dislikes. (you can’t start talking about a band he hated and expect it to go well.)
6. Don’t expect him to be receptive of your messages right off the bat, it may take a while.
7. As a general rule the faster things move the worse off you are, TAKE THINGS SLOW.
8. DO NOT SPAM YOUR EX WITH TEXTS… if he doesn’t respond to your first one just wait a couple of days and try again.
9. You can’t come off as needy.
10. Be very patient. Remember it is about making small, incremental moves and steps.  Together they build a tapestry of attraction.

The Best First Contact Text Message For That Stubborn Ex Boyfriend of Yours

first contact

First impressions are everything. You need to remember that. How you approach this first contact message is almost as important as the text messages later in this process. Why? Because, if you screw this part up you can kiss your chances of getting your boyfriend back goodbye. No pressure though.

(Quick Sidenote: If you want a much more in-depth look at the process of texting an ex boyfriend I encourage you to take a look at “The Texting Bible.”

Your main goal in this section is to just open up communication. Remember though, you want to be in control at all times. That means that YOU have to be the one to end the conversation. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at.

Big Break Up No-No’s

      • This message is not about rekindling the sexual flames (NOT A BOOTY CALL)
      • You can’t get angry or upset.
      • You can’t expect anything (manage your expectations.)
      • This is not meant to be a cure all text that repairs the relationship.
      • Do not ask to meet up with your ex.
      • Don’t make your ex think too much.

The First Contact Rules

      • You have to be positive
      • You have to be confident
      • Again, don’t expect anything.
      • NO ONE WORD TEXTS (each message has to have a point.)
      • The messages can’t be too long.
      • You should try to create a message that is so interesting it is impossible for your ex boyfriend not to respond.

5 BAD Examples Of First Contact Texts You Shouldn’t Use on Your Ex Bf

      • One Word Texts-
      • “hey…”
      • “Hello”
      • “What’s Up”
      • “Hi”

You get the gist here I hope.

2 GOOD Examples Of First Contact Texts That Gain His Attention!

1. For a couple who both love Harry Potter.

first contact 1

2. For a couple who both loved eating out.

first contact 2

What To Do If You Get A Positive Response

Using the Harry Potter Example Above:

good example of a text first contact

A few things you should take note of. The conversation was friendly, short and ended on a good note. This is what you definitely should aim for. Your ex should be thinking about the text for days!

Since things went positively you can contact them again in a few days and talk for a little bit longer. However, the conversation can’t be too much longer and YOU have to end it first.

What To Do If You Get A Neutral Response

Neutral responses are typically the one word responses that I hate so much:

“Thxs”
“Great”
“Interesting”

Here is how you should handle a neutral reaction

neutral first contact text

Basically it is the same type of a response as a positive one. You end the conversation first, blah blah blah.

What To Do If You Get A Negative Response From Your Ex

Negative responses do not feel good at all. It really sucks and can feel like the end of the world especially if you put a lot of work into getting your ex boyfriend back. Your best bet in these situations is to simply not respond at all and understand that your ex is still processing their emotions. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost it just means you may need to be more patient and try again in a week or so.

Remembering The Good Times With Your Ex Boyfriend

Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.

First things first, this is not the part where you are going to try to get your ex boyfriend back. So, many of the same rules that I talked about above apply here.

5 Big No-No’s When Composing Your Text Message For Your Ex Bf

      • This text is not intended to be a “booty call.”
      • You can’t get angry or upset.
      • You can’t expect anything (manage your expectations.)
      • This is not meant to cure your entire relationship.
      • Do not ask to meet up with your ex.

The main thing you are trying to do with “remembering the good times” is to get them to think about the most positive aspects of your previous relationship. This means that you are going to have to be as positive as you possibly can.

Think of it this way, if you do this set of messages correctly then you have a good chance of getting your ex to feel the same feelings you are feeling and they will start to remember how great your times together were.

What To Say To Him

When you write your text message to him you are going to have to go into details instead of just writing something general. Let’s take a look at a few simple phrases to further explore this point:

Alright, lets say that I was trying to get an ex girlfriend back and I had made it this far into the step by step process I am outlining here. I took out a sheet of paper and wrote down what I thought our best couple experiences were together. For the sake of this page lets say that me and my ex had an experience where we were watching a football game outdoors and it was really cold. She was getting very cold so I offered her my jacket.

Now, what do you think would be better to write:

Choice 1: “Hey do you remember when I let you borrow my jacket at the football game?”

or

Choice 2: “Do you remember the night where I loaned you my jacket at the football game? I was freezing in my little t-shirt but you held my hand the entire time. I liked that quality about you.”

If you said Choice 2 then you would be correct.

The more details you can give the better you will do. Remember, this has to be an experience that your ex enjoyed as well as you. Lets look at some examples.

2 GOOD Examples Of Remembering The Good Times

Example of Fun Experience:

good example 1

Example of Bonding Experience

good example 2

Sometimes asking your ex a question can work well to get them to remember a good experience. (Remember your question has to be aimed at getting them to feel something positive.)

good example 3

What To Do If You Get A Positive/Neutral Response From Your Guy?

More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. Remember, you still have to be the one to end the conversation first. Lets look at how a conversation like this might play out using an example from above:

remembering the good times text

What To Do If You Get NO Response

Ok, so you sent out your text to remind them of the good ole days where the two of you were as thick as thieves but they haven’t responded yet. First off, it isn’t the end of the world. Sometimes people get busy and don’t have time to respond right away. Waite a few days before you jump to any conclusions.

If you haven’t heard anything from them yet and it has been past a couple of days then this could mean a couple of things. They are either extremely excited by the prospect of moving forward with things and they can sense that you are trying to move things along but this also makes them extremely nervous.

They could be scared by you progressing things along.

Whatever the case is just simply take things down a notch and start a few more harmless text messages where you just make first contact.

What To Do If You Get A Negative Response

You have spent a month not contacting your ex. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Make no mistake about it, negative responses are never good. However, they don’t EVER mean that you should give up right away. It just means you have to be smarter about how you approach things. Lets take a look at a negative response example (from my past) this is a true story.

negative remembering the good times response

Ouch! That definitely hurts. Nevertheless, if you get a response like this you just have to be polite, positive and collected. Remember, you are the one that has to be in control. You may have made one of the following mistakes:

A. You may have selected the wrong thing to remind him of. This isn’t horrible just give it some more time before you contact him again.

B. What you said to your ex made him uneasy…. Interesting. This just means you misread the situation and you moved a little to fast to start bringing up your relationship.

C. Maybe you caught your ex during the wrong day and you caught him at a bad time. Either way just give him some time to get his head together.

How To Use Jealousy Against Your Ex Boyfriend To Your Advantage

This section is going to be controversial. It certainly was in my Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO System. Some of you may not agree with this but everywhere I researched said that using your ex boyfriends jealousy to your advantage is one of the most powerful things you can do.

First, I think it is important to understand how jealousy can work to your advantage. Since I am a male I feel I can explain my genders feelings towards this particular topic. In my opinion I think it is ok to get jealous. However, I don’t think it is ok to get overly jealous. If your ex boyfriend would get jealous every time you would talk to another man or every time you went out then I would say you should really revisit your thinking on getting back together with him. Nevertheless, I want to tell you an interesting story about jealousy.

I have a friend (who wants to remain unnamed.) He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 months for some silly reason (I honestly never understood it.) Anyways, three months after their breakup she started dating a new guy. Immediately my friend called me up and wanted her back. He didn’t realize what he had until he saw her with another guy.

This is the power of jealousy. Now, I am NOT recommending that you go out and date someone new. I am recommending that you drop certain hints in your communication with your ex boyfriend that you are out meeting new people. The key to this is that YOU CAN’T BE OBVIOUS. Do you think you will get very far if you rub the fact that you are out and about with other guys? The answer is no. There is a subtle art to incorporating jealousy texts into your conversations and I am going to teach you that art.

3 Key Rules When Employing Jealousy Against Your Ex Boyfriend

      • You have to be really careful because if this is done wrong then your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back drop drastically.
      • Gauge the situation and decide when the time is right.
      • You have to be discreet (If you say “So, I was with this really hot guy last night and he said….” your chances are pretty much done.)

The Art Of Using Jealousy With The One Who Left You

(Disclaimer: These only work if you actually do the things you are talking about. So, don’t make any situations up. How will it look if he goes to verify and finds out your lying about being out and about with another guy?)

Ok, the first tactic is from my own experience. I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile. I know that sounds ridiculous but it legitimately made me like “Damn, that guy got to be in her presence.” Here is the key though, if I felt strongly about a girl (who was single) and I saw a bunch of pictures of her getting totally drunk and making out with a bunch of guys I will no longer feel strongly about her. In fact, I might lose interest entirely. So, I would say that your best bet would be to post innocent pictures with other guys. The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time.

Don’t believe me?

I still check my ex girlfriends profile from high school. He is going to check yours so you better be prepared.

Using Jealousy In Text Messages

Getting your guy jealous through a text message is quite easy.

Notice how I didn’t specify if this friend was a male or female. You just planted a seed of doubt in your ex boyfriends head and now he is going to wonder if you saw a romantic movie with a friend or with a date.

romantic movie text

Another popular way to get someone jealous is with the “hey did I see you at” type message. One of my good friends came up with this and I have to say it works extremely well.

jealousy (did I see you at)

Your ex boyfriend is thinking “I wasn’t at Sherlocks last night.” This is perfect because now he is going to read between the lines and see that you were checking out another guy that wasn’t him. Also in a way you are complimenting him. Jealousy text messages are interesting aren’t they?

5 Heart To Heart Text Conversations You Can Start With Your Ex Boyfriend

Alright, lets take a step back and look at how the game plan is progressing thus far.

Step 1- You sent a first contact text (got a positive/neutral response and kept the conversation short.)

Step 2- You finally started a real conversation with the “remembering the good times text message” (again the conversation was controlled by you.)

Step 3- You implemented a little bit of jealousy (You kept it subtle and got him thinking about you again as a potential relationship partner.)

Well, now you are going to implement a number of small heart to heart chats in various different ways that are going to change your fortune in a positive way.

6 Important Things To Remember

      • Don’t fall in the booty call trap.
      • You can’t get angry or upset.
      • You can’t expect anything (manage your expectations.)
      • Don’t try to fix everything at once.
      • Do not ask to meet up with your ex.
      • You have to remain positive.

IMPORTANT NOTE: You have to try these tactics in order (if possible) before you can move on to the “Taking THE Risk” section.

Tactic 1- Reminder

One of the little things I always love about relationships that are going well is how you are constantly helping each other remember things. This tactic is no different and can definitely earn you some huge brownie points if you remind him about something he forgot. Lets look at a few examples.

(Ex who watches the same T.V. show that you do)

reminder message

(Ex who has a family members birthday coming up)

reminder message 2

Tactic 2- Showing Your Support

This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. This has to be completely genuine otherwise you are better off not saying anything at all.

(Ex with family who just died.)

grandmother text

(Ex preparing for a test or exam.)

test text

(Ex who gets injured)

heal up

Tactic 3- Complimenting Your Ex Boyfriend

This tactic is a little like flirting. The key to compliments are to work them in during your conversation over text. Knowing when to slip them in will depend on your gut feeling and the context of the conversation you are having. Here is a good example of a great compliment:

compliment 1

I know it may sound a little goofy but trust me this goofy stuff works. How do I know? Let’s put it this way. I still remember TO THIS DAY when a girl who sat in front of me in my high school class turned around and said “you have beautiful eyes.”

Compliments work!

Tactic 4- Value Your Ex

Tactic 4 is very similar to tactic 3. Except this time instead of slipping in a compliment during a conversation you are going to slip in something that you have always appreciated about your ex. Here is a great example of an appreciation text:

Your best bet here is to take out a sheet of paper and write down all of the things that you have ever appreciated about your ex so you have an inventory to dive in. Oh, and don’t write down just general things. Be as specific as possible.

Tactic 5- I Miss This

I don’t need to explain this one do I? Ok, basically this is a tactic where you tell your ex boyfriend what you miss about your relationship. Be careful though because these messages need to be worded properly or your screwed.

value your ex

It is essential that you talk about experiences that your ex enjoyed. A lot of people screw up because they only talk about stuff that they miss. Make sure you are talking about stuff that your ex misses as well. Here is a good example of how this should be done.

i miss you text

Notice how the text above was super specific and brings up good memories for both parties. That is what you are aiming for.

Part 4: Taking THE Final Risk To Win Back Your Ex Boyfriend

taking-risk

Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!

(Disclaimer: Only implement THE Risk plan outlined below if he hasn’t suggested to meet up and you sense that you two are wanting to get close to a physical connection.)

It’s time to take the kids gloves off ladies! NO MORE TEXTING! At least for this part.

The Plan Is To Call him

You are going to call him with the intention of only going out for a small get together. The key here is to be non threatening. Your ex boyfriend might not be as receptive to meeting you somewhere extravagant and out of his way.

Examples of good places for a meet up: lunch, coffee, etc (lunch is better than dinner.)

8 Guidelines For Calling Your Ex Boyfriend

The phone call needs to seem innocent
Plan your phone call when you know that your ex boyfriend will have a moment to talk privately.
You want the phone call to be very pleasant, positive and short.
DO NOT bring up any bad memories from the past.
Don’t act desperate.
Manage your expectations.
NEVER CALL MORE THAN ONCE A DAY.
Don’t leave a voice mail if he lets his phone go to it.

2 Ways To Make The Call

I researched a lot on this section and discovered there are two types of very different methods to making this important phone call. The first method is the “I was in the neighborhood” and the second is the “week in advance.” I don’t have any bias towards either method so I leave the choice on which one to use entirely up to you.

Tactic 1- I Was In The Neighborhood…

This one is risky and may not get you a yes to a meet up but it allows you the ability to try again later whereas the method below this one pretty much lays your cards on the table. Ok, the way this works is simple:

You: Hey Jake, I was in the neighborhood and I thought it might be fun to catch up. Would you like to meet at Starbucks?

Again, this is risky since there is a higher chance of him saying no. However, if you two were really making a lot of progress via texting and you really think he is feeling the same way you are about your current relationship then the “I was in the neighborhood method” may do the trick for you. The obvious advantage is that you get an instant date/meet up!

Tactic 2- Week In Advance

The week in advance method is just like it sounds. You call him a week in advance and ask him out. The obvious advantage to this is that he has time to clear his schedule and make time for you ;). The obvious disadvantage is that you are laying a lot of your cards on the table and rejection will certainly hurt your feelings. Speaking of rejection…

What To Do If He Says No

Don’t panic. He will probably say something like

“Uhh…. I don’t know.”

If so…

Just chuckle and nonchalantly say “It’s only coffee” or “come on it’s only lunch” usually that “umm I don’t know” will turn into an “okay”

If he still says no then don’t panic. Even if you are tempted to

Beg,
Get Angry
Rehash arguments
Fly Off The Handle

Gracefully accept his no, say goodbye and end the conversation on good terms. This will leave the door open for more communication.

The Meet Up

the meet up

Yes, there are certain rules even for your mini date/meet up or whatever you want to call it. As stated above, you want to keep this meet up as casual as possible. Don’t plan to meet over a nice dinner. I suggest getting coffee at Starbucks with chairs and couches where the two of you can just sit and talk. Another great idea would be to meet up at a park and go for a walk together. Honestly, the dates I have enjoyed the most wasn’t anything super romantic it was just when I was enjoying the company of someone else and walking around.

Some experts recommend that you go out for a beer or something like that. Personally I am not against that I would just recommend not to drink too much. The last thing you want is to creep your ex boyfriend out by confessing your undying love. The key is to just do something that the two of you will both enjoy where you can have fun and talk.

Avoid being too romantic. Just have open and honest communication. Hopefully at the end of the meet up your ex boyfriend will want to see you again. If so, YOUR IN!

What To Do After The Date

Ok, I just added this section in from my own personal experiences from dating girls. One of the things I enjoy most is when they are the ones to text me first afterwards. I love it when they text me something like:

“Today was really fun.”

So if you have worked hard to bring your ex boyfriend back into the picture and progress is being made on multiple communication fronts, then take an opportunity and drop him a little not.  Nothing over the top.  Nothing about making a relationship commitment. You don’t want to spook your ex bf. We will talk about that in another post.  Just something that cements you enjoyed yourself.  Keep it light!

Women who do that are always off to a great start in my book. Good luck!

8,392 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. Artsychick

    October 27, 2018 at 4:05 pm

    I dont know what to write to him! NC is almost over and he has no social media so he has no idea what I’ve been doing. He also hasn’t contacted me which is okay. I’ve jotted down tons of ideas for my first email to him but I’m very scared. Hes always suspicious of people so I dont want to sound too needy or like I’m trying to use him. He might think if I’m messaging him a month later that I want to use him…hes stubborn as hell as well.
    What do you think is best for my first email to him? A good memory text? Or a question text where i ask him where he got his weed (it was really good weed and hes obsessed with weed/a hippie guy so that’s like a theme message lol) I dont want to come off needy like I said. He likes strong women.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 28, 2018 at 4:33 am

      Hi Artsychick!

      Pretty cool name! You would know him best. So choose one that you think he would be most curious about. The whole idea is to just try to spark a little convo. Think little steps.

  2. Desireen

    September 9, 2018 at 11:31 am

    Hi this is Desireen again … So im about to finish my No contact period but he hasn’t attempt to contact me. And I heard she’s escorting another girl.. how can I approach him?? I’m really not sure if I can approach him since I feel so shy after all the things that happened And what if the two of them end up together? Should I still reach out for him or should I wait again??.. Im really nervous that I may not get him back

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 9, 2018 at 6:54 pm

      Hi again!

      They won;t always contact you during NC. My program calls for you to reach out using a certain strategy. You have my eBook, right?

  3. Desireen

    August 21, 2018 at 11:25 am

    Hi this is Desireen again .. thank you Chris ! Your comment actually calms me .. this site is really a great help for weak people like me Hahahaha..

    btw I got stuck in this funny situation I don’t know if it’s possible but can you or your staff delete my comment stating my story ( on august 19, 2018) ? A friend of mine is suggesting this site for me and I’m too afraid that she may read my comment here she will instantly know it’s me .. Im so totally busted if that happens hahahaha pretty please help mee all of my NC plan will go to nothing if this happen cause she’s pretty close to my ex and I can’t really trust her mouth LOL..

  4. Chris Seiter

    Chris Seiter

    August 19, 2018 at 11:48 pm

    Hi Desireen. Nope…you are not crazy! You just want to figure out how to make things feel better for yourself and improve your chances. Its OK that you may have made some mistakes. He made plenty to. We all do. What matters is going forward and what you do. So its good to have an ex recovery plan, both for yourself and also doing things to optimize your chances of getting your ex back. My program is all about that. Go to my site’s home page to learn more about my ebooks, tools, resources, and many other things!

  5. Robinn

    August 14, 2018 at 8:13 am

    Hi Chris and Team!

    My boyfriend and I had been together for about two and a half years when we fell into another fight. We fought on and off mostly cause I wasn’t sincere at the start of our relationship. So this time round I decided to just let the break up happen. That’s when I found your site and started implementing NC.

    I managed 30 days without a word.
    He sent me a rebound message day five asking how I was doing. I didn’t respond. Carried on doing research and eventually bought your book Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. Its been very helpful. But my ex has put me in a bit of a predicament and I don’t know what to do now.

    He’s giving me good feedback but its delayed. So I sent out my initial first text, and he responded well….. The next day. So to prevent looking desperate I waited a full day to respond. My second rapport building text he kinda ignored. So I gave it three days and tried again. I got good feedback but he ended the conversation. So I waited four more days and tried another rapport text in which I wished to redeem myself. To which I got no response. I haven’t texted him again but like. I don’t know what to do.

    Any advice I would much appreciate!
    Also his mum wants to meet up for coffee,, should I go?

    Thanks a ton!
    Rob

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 3:09 pm

      Hi Robinn!

      Probably best to wait several more days before you initiate anything else. And having coffee with his mum is a good idea. Be a good listener. Say only positive things about him and compliment her.

  6. vij

    August 10, 2018 at 2:01 pm

    We both met through gay dating app in Feb-2018 and loved each other for 3 months and both used to express our love indirectly where my boyfriend used to like me a lot and used to chat with me daily with lot of interest and enthusiasm and use to share his pics where he goes and use to say everything. And we celebrated the first two months anniversary too . In 4th month that is in May-2018 i expressed to him directly that i love him and he said i liked you as a friend and but i could sense at that time he likes me but not expressing. Slowly he lost interest in me and but used to chat with me daily.

    And after that again in 5th month i brought this love topic and he said not looking for anything serious. And after that for 1 week i didn’t use to chat with him and use to reply for his good morning and good night messages that’s it apart from did not chatted and on one day he pinged me and said you became normal and sorry for the cause.and that night he shared his party pictures.And next two days we chatted just normal and after that one day both did not chatted and next day he greeted with good morning and good night messages and after that for 2 days i didn’t replied to him. And next day i replied and he said was wondering why i was not replied to him. And after that he was normal behaved as if he has lost interest in me.

    And next week in dating app i created different account and i played prank & manipulation with him for fun and got to know so many unknown things from him. And after that for one week i did not replied for his texts and call and he has unfriend me in Facebook. After few days in July first week i replied to him and said sorry for not replying to your calls and texts and also played prank and asked him to meet casually and he said i will let you know. But it did not happened. Again on 9-Jul i called him and said want to talk with you due to signal issue we couldn’t talk and He replied in whatsApp that he will call or message to me but he has not done anything so i did NC(No Contact) for 25 days and in that period i changed myself and understood so many things & mistakes what i have done.

    After that i messaged him and he has seen my message immediately but didn’t replied for few days .And on friendship day i called him and wished him and we have spoken for 5-10 mins but it was good and cool.

    Three days back i logged into the same dating app and he has blocked me in that app.

    I want to ask him to meet casually on this weekend but don’t know how to invite him and also not sure whether he will come or not.

    Only in whatsApp he did not blocked me .

    Don’t know how to proceed further in getting back with him and i love him a lot and want him back in my life. Is there any chances in future where i can get back with him.

    I really really require help from you. Please Please help me on this itz been almost two months we are not talking,texting and not seeing each other even though we are staying in same area and where my house and his house is 200 meters distance.

  7. Vin

    August 10, 2018 at 6:27 am

    We both met through gay dating app in Feb-2018 and loved each other for 3 months and both used to express our love indirectly where my boyfriend used to like me a lot and used to chat with me daily with lot of interest and enthusiasm and use to share his pics where he goes and use to say everything. And we celebrated the first two months anniversary too . In 4th month that is in May-2018 i expressed to him directly that i love him and he said i liked you as a friend and but i could sense at that time he likes me but not expressing. Slowly he lost interest in me and but used to chat with me daily.

    And after that again in 5th month i brought this love topic and he said not looking for anything serious. And after that for 1 week i didn’t use to chat with him and use to reply for his good morning and good night messages that’s it apart from did not chatted and on one day he pinged me and said you became normal and sorry for the cause.and that night he shared his party pictures.And next two days we chatted just normal and after that one day both did not chatted and next day he greeted with good morning and good night messages and after that for 2 days i didn’t replied to him. And next day i replied and he said was wondering why i was not replied to him. And after that he was normal behaved as if he has lost interest in me.

    And next week in dating app i created different account and i played prank & manipulation with him for fun and got to know so many unknown things from him. And after that for one week i did not replied for his texts and call and he has unfriend me in Facebook. After few days in July first week i replied to him and said sorry for not replying to your calls and texts and also played prank and asked him to meet casually and he said i will let you know. But it did not happened. Again on 9-Jul i called him and said want to talk with you due to signal issue we couldn’t talk and He replied in whatsApp that he will call or message to me but he has not done anything so i did NC(No Contact) for 25 days and in that period i changed myself and understood so many things & mistakes what i have done.

    After that i messaged him and he has seen my message immediately but didn’t replied for few days .And on friendship day i called him and wished him and we have spoken for 5-10 mins but it was good and cool.

    Two days back i logged into the same dating app and he has blocked me in that app.

    I want to ask him to meet casually on this weekend but don’t know how to invite him and also not sure whether he will come or not.

    Only in whatsApp he did not blocked me .

    Don’t know how to proceed further in getting back with him and i love him a lot and want him back in my life. Is there any chances in future where i can get back with him.

    I really really require help from you Please Please help me on this itz been almost two months we are not talking,texting and not seeing each other even though we are staying in same area and where my house and his house is 200 meters distance.

  8. Kate

    July 29, 2018 at 11:05 pm

    Well i’m basically after the no contact period and im texting my ex again. We shared a lot so i texted him about this show we both were watching and he relief. Since then we arenie taking but i’m the one initiating the contact (he sent me a funny video obce but that’s nothing i suppose). He told me that’s he doesnt see a future with me because i smoke and that Im too proud and irresponsible. We are both 20. So i texted him about talking and playing some video game to which he responded positively but at the same time he called his and mine friends on discord and asked then to Play with us. I was really friendly and I laughed a lot. We texted a bit and then conversation ended. We are going to a party with mutual friends on 2nd and I fear that he may be over me. I just dont know what to sat to him to make him rethink this and show him that I’ve changed. I quit smoking, i got less proud and I think I van make him happy. We shared a lot and he really was my second half and also the jest friend Ive ever had. I do love him and i care for him but i dont know excactly how to convince him that we can solve this out.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 30, 2018 at 4:15 pm

      Hi Kate!

      Great job for stopping smoking. But remember, you really did it for yourself. That choice is yours for “you” and it will have positive implications for your entire life. Just go it slow. Relationships that have been injured need to be nursed back to health slowly. Look to my website Home page for resources, tools, and my eBooks to help you with the entire relationship recovery process.

  9. Lisa

    May 12, 2018 at 1:42 am

    So me and my ex were together two years ago (long distance) we broke up & (we have children together also) we spoke on getting back tougher but his job took him overseas for about a year so fast forward things were seeming like err been on the right track .. we spoke on vacations, plans & etc … than after a weekend together he says he really thought about it but he don’t think we will work out because we are two different people … he never said he wasn’t in love with me but that he is vegan i’m Not & that he wants to move to a different t state in a year or two & I want to wait 3-4 (don’t want to move with no job lined up) and that he wants someone who on the same page as him (we haven’t had in depth conversations since before he left & he doesn’t realize that I now want to move sooner than later… we have kids so I know the NC rule might be hard but they have their own phones and was just like if we need to speak I can do it through them or is that unfair … my friends say it seems like he is scared of breaking up again

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 12, 2018 at 6:09 am

      Hi Lisa! Maybe make use of a limited NC. My best advice is you need to gain more insight and smarts on how this whole ex recovery thing works. That is why I created an ebook called, Ex Recovery Pro. Go take a look. You can get there by way of my website’s Menu, click on the link for “Products.” Chances are, you just need a few good ideas to tap into! I don’t think this will unresolve itself in a quick way.These things seldom do. But over time, he needs to realize and appreciate your value in his life. He is seems to be waffling a bit about commitment issues, unsure what to do.

  10. Tanisha

    May 11, 2018 at 7:39 am

    So basically I met someone, we got on really well, we had a connection and after a week I went to America, once I went to America, things went a bit weird. When I got back he wouldn’t meet up with me because he said he had a lot going on in his mind. Anyway after a month coming back, we met up, we slept with each other, I gave him massages and etc, things were still weird, met up again and slept with him again and now he’s kinda backed off. Like one min he’s okay and one min he’s really cold towards me. I used to ask him what’s the sketch with your ex, he used get so defensive about it. I’ve only known him since mid March but I was so fond of him and feel so down. Please can you give me advice? He hasn’t contacted me since couple of days.

    1. Tanisha

      May 11, 2018 at 3:41 pm

      He basically said I seem too obsessive. What do I do? Only known him for 2 months

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2018 at 9:40 pm

      I think utilizing No Contact Rule is a worthwhile effort, but remember to keep the focus on you and your recovery. Maybe something later stirs in him, giving you both another chance. But if it doesn’t…then so be it. Some things are outside our control, but by becoming the best version of yourself, you prepare yourself better to embrace the future.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2018 at 2:53 pm

      Hi Tanisha….it is unclear just how invested he is in the relationship. Perhaps one way to find out is to utilize No Contact. You should take a look at a book I wrote called, Ex Recovery Pro. In it I offer a blueprint on all the things you should consider and do. You can learn more about it in my website’s Menu Section under “Products”. It may help you with the path you should take.

  11. Jordan

    May 4, 2018 at 7:10 pm

    Hey Chris! My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me – one week ago, I have followed the no contact rule (surprisingly, I hadn’t read anything on it yet!). He ended the relationship out of the blue, we sometimes fought but it never seemed relationship ending bad (really it was petty things). He said he still loved me, otherwise breaking up wouldn’t hurt so bad. He had come late at night to tell me, we both sobbed, and I asked him to leave. The next day he came to take our cat for a spay, I went with him to drop her off and we went for a walk. I suggested a break instead, because he said he had been feeling a lot of emotions and initially taking all the blame. I expressed my side and apologized for my faults. It ended well and he even agreed to a break starting in may and lasting until June. I offered a mini date night for the day before may just to have a good time and start the break on a happy note. We went to dinner and had a good time, it was a little awkward but we stayed away from talking about the negative aspects of our struggles. I had picked him up so when I dropped him off he said he was sorry but he didn’t want a break, he wanted to breakup. He needed time to heal (from what I still wasn’t entirely sure of), and he needed “space”. Looking back the breakup was very cliche “it’s me not you” ( he said he was sorry for not communicating better and that I deserved someone who could give me what I want) but after I opened up and took responsibility for my actions, he suddenly put the blame on me! Him and my mom were close and after the breakup he confided in her and brought back issues I had never heard of FROM 6 MONTHS AGO! I have been devastated…. he did something similar( ghosted) with his last girlfriend, actually he moved to California and broke up with her over the phone after he was already gone). We had made plans to get married, we have the same career goals, he even gave me a rather expensive promise ring. I’m very lost with how to approach him after our 30 day no contact. P.S. I am very close with his family and vice versa (I even work with his sister!)…. I do plan to get your guide, but what advice can you give me for some insight into his mind, and whether our relationship has a chance of being saved?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 4, 2018 at 9:19 pm

      Hi Jordan…my Guide, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” will be very helpful as it will give you a better sense of how to spend your time in NC. With 3 years invested in the relationship, i think it likely that more Chapters are to be written.

  12. Ceri

    April 30, 2018 at 7:54 pm

    Hi my boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago, for the first 2 weeks he reached out to me a few times all positive and I replied. But i spoke to him on the phone 1 week ago, in which I cried and told him how i felt and that I wanted to be with him and could make it work. He said there was nothing I could do to change his mind, he still cared for me, but didnt see a future with me, and we didn’t have enough of an emotional connection for him. I haven’t spoken to him since, I am worried as he doesnt have any social media he wont be able to see what I am up to and I don’t think he will reach out again to me. Im not sure what the best plan going forward is

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 30, 2018 at 9:07 pm

      Hi Ceri. Have you picked up one of my ebooks as that is the best way to get your hands on a comprehensive blueprint on what you should do, when, why, and how and so much more? If not just go to my website Menu and click on products. You can learn more there. Meanwhile, its important you undergo some self healing and all my books, resources, and activities can teach you about that.

  13. Kim

    April 28, 2018 at 12:47 am

    Hi, We broke up last February and since then I’m always texting/calling him which is wrong. My messages became delivered (Facebook) this first week of April (he’s annoyed) and I was too late to read this article.

    My question is, even if I do the list of becoming the best version of myself, did he come back if his reason was “he was the who turns you down” even it’s not. And also, he said that he doesn’t love me anymore even I felt that time it’s not. Because I think, the more I’ll change for myself, the more he will no longer contact me in the future.

    Thank you.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 28, 2018 at 4:16 am

      HI Kim…thanks for stopping by. As I talk about in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, this whole focus on No Contact is just about getting him back, but its also very much about doing things for yourself in a realistic and pragmatic way so if it doesn’t work out, then you path into the future can (and will) be fulfilling. Be careful about reading too much into what guys say during and after a breakup. He may very well not know his feelings that well. He might think he does, but time has a way of telling us the truth about our relationships. To optimize your chances, take a look at some of the ebooks I have written which you can find on my website Menu/products link. Let me know how things go for you Kim!

  14. Sara Allen

    April 27, 2018 at 7:53 pm

    We have been together for 5 years (we broke up once for 9 months but don’t count it because we still talked every day and hooked up….he broke up with me and then asked for me back).

    In 2016 I moved to live with him and his parent’s house in another state. In February- he said he needed space, I left and we didn’t talk for 4 days. Then I stayed with his Aunt for two weeks. Back in March, he told me to come back home because he wanted things to work and was going to change so things worked. (He just stopped making time for me, acting distant, and always seemed annoyed with me) Well, nothing changed. He still acted distant toward me and not very interested in me. He does operate 3 businesses and is always busy but something changed. It was never a problem before. After a few weeks back home, things were decent. Then the week of April 10th he started acting weird again. I confronted him and he agreed that nothing changed. I asked him “well did you make an effort to change things?” he said “no” so I told him well things are not going to change unless you want them too. Long story short- he broke up with me. I had to pack my bags and MOVE TO ANOTHER STATE because I had no family around. Mind you after we broke up, he left. He has not contacted me AT ALL. He left the house and I packed my stuff. I even left him a note and has not contacted me. He is posting more than usual on Instagram, he seems fine. I’m over here devastated- I had the rug ripped out from underneath me. I need to start over- career, life in general….everything. His life wasn’t completely flipped upside down. He is the love of my life and I don’t want to lose him. He hasn’t contacted me at all. He has asked mutual friends “how is she?” and even told a mutual friend “I haven’t reached out because I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to start an argument.” I want him to call me and tell me he made a mistake.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 28, 2018 at 4:47 am

      HI Sara…sorry for your pain. You will benefit by picking up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. (go to website Menu/products link). It is very comprehensive and can cover so much more helpful information that I can here in this forum. At a minimum, I think you both needs some space and time away from each other to work on things and let the emotions subside. The key is your own self recovery and you will learn more about that and why its so important. So go take a look at some of the resources here on my site!

  15. Rosie

    April 25, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    Hey Chris,
    Just wanted to say I really like the ideas on your website and how they focus on making you a better you so that even if you don’t get back with your ex your life is still improved!

    I’d also love your opinion,I was with someone for a few months and I really feel there was a good connection I felt something special. We met in the city I go to university at but he lives in another city. We texted and got on well there and then we met and things were just as good in person and it began from there. He’s been having a bad time in a lot of ways with family problems work etc and has been very down for months and pulled away a bit and I think because I found the distance hard and not really knowing what was going on I reacted badly and also had some problems of my own so was in a stressed frame of mind,I became needy and angry and upset with him and pushed him away more. In my opinion we weren’t seeing each other enough but I wish I’d been a bit more patient and just seen where things had gone.He’s said he only likes me so I know it’s wasnt that he didn’t have feelings but I pushed and pushed and ruined things. We’ve both said we need space but it ended in an argument.

    I’m doing no contact and it’s giving me perspective and I’m working on my own emotions and self esteem and realising a lot about myself. I feel like if we both hadn’t been going through stuff and because of the distance. In a way although this is hard I see it as a blessing as it’s made me make changes mainly in the way I feel I don’t think I would have otherwise. I do want to talk to him again and I care about him but doing no contacts as much for him as it is myself. I don’t want to talk to him from a place of blame but one of giving and what I want to give is my confidence, mysetry, joy and best self and love myself completely so I can give them my best self. I really don’t want him out of my life despite what’s happened and am going to work on becoming my most attractive, happy, radiant and confident. You’ve seen so many people in this situation do you think it would be the right thing I’ve ive had and given him more space to talk to him I really want to and what would the best way of going about it?
    Rosie xxx

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 25, 2018 at 10:56 pm

      Hi Rosie! I love the way you talk (“I don’t want to talk to him from a place of blame but one of giving and what I want to give is my confidence, mysetry, joy and best self and love myself completely so I can give them my best self”). I couldn’t say it better myself! Make sure you have a good blueprint to work from, so if you have not picked up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, you should do so. (i.e. website Menu/Products link).. It is massive and covers so much…in so much detail. Kinda like a Companion Guide that helps you along the way and optimizes one’s chances. I think you have very good understanding of the No Contact Principle. Maybe since things ended in an arguement, you make a little exception to the NC rule and reach out just give him a heads up that you are progressing thru your own self discovery process and just wanted him to know you appreciate him recommending that the two of you take some space (even if he didn’t recommend it). So what you accomplish is a little connection so he knows that he is not far from your mind and you are working to be the best version of yourself. That may be intriguing to him and enhance “your” value in his mind.

  16. Jordan

    April 25, 2018 at 4:39 pm

    Hi Chris – My boyfriend (well now ex boyfriend) of 2 years just broke up with me a week ago. He is 33, I am 25. We met on the mountain, ski coaching to be exact. He does it full time (Tuesdays – Sundays) while I only do it part time along with my full time job (November – April, 7 days a week). A co-worker of ours set us up. We had been coaching with each other for a couple of years by that point and she could just see that we were perfect for each other. I was a little hesitant at first, I had never dated someone who what that much older than me. But when I was with him, it never seemed weird or like we were at a different point in our lives. The first year was bliss, we were not living with each other at that point so we were constantly looking forward to seeing each other. There was excitement.

    After one year, we moved in together. We both were ready for it. And let me say, he was the easiest and most compatible person that I have ever lived with (and I have had around 15 different roommates in 5 years). We never bickered about anything, our relationship just felt more important to me to let little things get in the way. Summer was great, we spent almost every free moment on the lake, enjoying each others time and relaxing. Once ski season started, we sunk into a routine. I did not have one day off (except for Christmas and New Years day). This did not leave a lot of “US” time. I see that now. However it would not have made much of a difference since he coaches on the weekends as well. I had never really experienced the “Honeymoon Phase” before. I have been in a couple other relationships before however those just didn’t work out for other reasons.

    There were other factors. His coaching staff consisted of my father and this 26 year old girl who was a friend from my past. He and this girl have a lot in common, from activities to food to music to humor. It makes sense that they would become good friends. On their days off, they would go skiing with each other, go to the bar to apre… My ex did not know where to draw the line. One day, he tells me that he is going on a long adventure with this girl, a full day hiking/ski trip in another state. There was another guy that was joining them however that didn’t matter. My dad gave me a call and sounded concerned (he never talks to me about guy stuff). So I panicked. When he got home, I expressed my feelings that it made me uncomfortable how much time that he and this girl were spending together. I did not get the reassuring response I wanted. “It takes you thinking I am going to leave you for you to change” and “Why can’t I be friends with another girl?”. He said that things just didn’t feel the same anymore between us. I was stunned. He had turned it around on me to make me feel guilty. He said that he felt unappreciated and taken for granted all winter. He wanted more help with dinner and the dishes. And I apologized and promised to be more aware of his needs.

    Throughout the month of March, my other co-workers started to bring their friendship to my attention (which didn’t help my feeling of jealousy). It even went so far as our boss (and friend) pulling him into his office to tell him that it was not ok how much of his free time he was spending with this girl and how bad it looked. In my ex’s eyes, this just made it worse. It is like when you tell a kid not to eat a piece of candy, all they want to do is to then eat the piece of candy. Now, I am not the kind of girl to tell someone who they can and cannot be friends with. But when that person is a good looking single girl who follows you around like a puppy dog and showers you with attention. Yes, that is going to bother me. Especially when she does it in front of you. And yes, it is hard to hold the jealousy back sometimes. He could see that I was uncomfortable. But really, he shouldn’t have put me in the situations in the first place. And still, he made me feel as though it was my fault that I was having these feelings…

    We were doing a good job of communicating. Every once in a while we would talk before going to bed about how we were feeling. I could tell that things were not getting better. If anything, they were getting worse. I just kept saying, “look, ski season is almost over. We will have our weekends back. We can spend some quality time with each other and reconnect.” And he would nod his head and agree.

    We didn’t get there. He decided he needed to go stay at his mom’s for a couple nights to clear his head. He would be back on Friday and everything would be ok. So I said, “great, if that is what you need, then do it.” Clearly two nights was not enough because I could tell that nothing had changed and he didn’t miss me. I was still determined to enjoy our first weekend off together. Maybe it would remind him of the good times we have had together.

    Unfortunately, the weather was terrible. I was racking my brain as to what to do, with where we were at, we couldn’t just hang in and watch Netflix. We made pancakes for breakfast. Mountain bikes has been a topic of discussion lately so I suggested we go take a look at a local shop. Then we went to say hi to his mom who lives nearby and hung out with her for a little while. The whole time, he just acted distant. We went home and he laid down on the couch and put a blanket over his head while I got started with dinner. After a little while, he said he needed to go for a drive and that he would be back in an hour. I couldn’t believe it. What had I done to make him fall out of love with me this quickly? Then I realized it wasn’t me, it was him.

    When he got back, I told him that I was going to stay the week at my parents house. That I wanted him to spend time at our apartment without me there. I could tell he was starting to feel terrible for how he was treating me. I was being incredibly patient and mature about the whole situation. That Friday night (4/20), I got back to our apartment to see him sitting on the couch. The look on his face said it all. He just couldn’t find the love any more. He cares about me but he could not reciprocate the feelings that I had for him. We talked for an hour, I said everything that I wanted to say. That I love him very much but I understand that I cannot force him to feel a certain way. I asked him why he had been bottling up his feelings of being unappreciated or taken for granted. These were two things that I could help fix and I can’t read minds. He said that he saw how busy I was this winter and didn’t want to add to my plate. Hello.. it takes two to tango.

    He has been staying at his mom’s house since the breakup. Everyone who knows us cannot believe what happened. They all say “love is dead!” and “I could have sworn he was the one”…. “You two were perfect for each other” and I am with them. I did think he was the one. He is one of the most amazing, kind, generous men that I have ever met. I truly believe that he is going through a funk and an early mid-life crisis. Then there is another part of me that believes that the man that I am in love with should love me through thick and thin. And if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t deserve me.

    We are still sorting out the apartment that we rent, but I am going to try NC for at least the next month and work on my Instagram presence. Do you have any other suggestions or words of wisdom? Sorry for the novel, I just figured the more details the better. Thank you in advance!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 25, 2018 at 11:22 pm

      Hi Jordan (I love our name!)…so that is quite a story. Thank you for sharing it with me. You seem like a really special girl, so I have no doubt that whatever happens, you are going to land on your feet! By the way, you are an excellent writer. Consider keeping a journal about what you are feeling and thinking as it will be a good outlet and can be very therapeutic. I do think its worth exploring this relationship further and by implementing NC, it gives you both a chance to experience some healing and find some balance and draw closer to your deepest feelings. If you haven’t already picked up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, you should because it is massive and full of ideas, tactics, strategies for how to get through a breakup and come out the other side as well as optimizing your chances. Just go to my website Menu and click on “Products” and you will find all my ebooks and other resources. Let me know things go Jordan!

  17. Sophia

    April 23, 2018 at 11:24 am

    My ex ended this 1st April (nearly a month ago). I begged. After day 1 he wanted to talk. After a week he never wanted to see me again. I did NC for 4 days until my sister told him to message me (I got sexually assaulted and needed emotional support). He messaged me. He seemed off. We spoke every day. Well I went one day (a couple of times) not replying. I found out I was pregnant. I told him. He was good about it. He told me to get rid of it. I got scared. Basically I messaged him saying I can’t. We argued about me needing him and he said he doesn’t know what to do. Yesterday I said I’m bored of feeling hated. I need my friend back. He said he doesn’t hate me. I went on about feeling hated and being scared of the abortion. I asked if he could see me. He YELLED at me. I ignored him (which is what he wanted me to do all month he even said I went crazy) but 10 minutes later he messaged me back calmer and with this solution: He said I could see him (in Germany) if I get the abortion and it’ll be the last time we ever see each other and we can have a proper goodbye. I went on saying I want to see him before. It ended up him saying he did hate me. I killed the guy I dated (because I said I missed what he used to be like). I messaged him yesterday and he said I can go and see him after the abortion. I asked if he still had access to my Facebook account he said no. I said I hope he is well. Also he told someone that he couldn’t stand me earlier today. Should I initiate NC properly now? Is there any hope? Why would he start off saying he didn’t hate me and now does? Why would he double message after I ignored him when he yelled? I’m so confused please help me.
    Sophia.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2018 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Sophia! I am sorry your ex is being abusive to you. You don’t deserve that. No one does. It sounds like he is being manipulative by trying to talk you into getting an abortion as a requirement to see him. The double messaging seems to be his way of trying to control you. You should consult with your family, your physician and others you trust before you do anything around an abortion. Do you really want to be with this guy? I do think No Contact would help you heal and gaining some perspective about what is important in your life.

  18. Sophia

    April 23, 2018 at 11:04 am

    My ex cheated on me a few months ago. I stayed with him because I love him. I have all guy friends and a lot have fancied me and make jokes and stuff about it. My ex said he doesn’t like it and me sending them hearts. So I stopped. So clearly jealous but he knows I never liked any of them that way. He moved to Germany and things ended. Blah blah blah a lot happened and I annoyed after the break up. But he told someone that he can’t stand me. When they asked why he said I CHEATED ON HIM WHICH I NEVER DID. Why would he do this????

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2018 at 9:26 pm

      I Sophia…try not to get caught up with innuendo or what he may have said to someone about you. Some guys won’t accept responsibility for their actions and will lie and deceive to cast blame on others. Now you have more insight into his behavior. I think you would benefit if you looked to join my Private Facebook Support Group. It has about 1500 women who have gone through all kinds of breakups and the support each other. I do weekly live Facebook webcasts on various topics. You can go to my website Menu/Products link to learn more about this!

  19. eve

    April 17, 2018 at 11:14 pm

    I have 2 months that me and my bf broke up i try talking to him after a month or 5 weeks but we just end fighting he told me i don’t want anything with you the only thing I said I respect that and that he was mean. he being jerk this moment idk what to do

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 5:31 am

      Hi Eve…that was mean of him. Give him lots of space. If you need a game plan, consider any of my ebooks as they are designed to improve your chances.

  20. Andrea

    April 15, 2018 at 9:57 am

    My ex (long distance, 1 year) broke up with me 8 months ago. l did the mistake of letting myself down, begging and pleading while he wasn’t sure about me anymore. We were still in daily touch, promised to stay friends no matter what. He suffers borderline so tends to overreact, especially when he’s being ignored.
    The past two months l pulled myself together as we were planning to meet up for holidays soon and maybe work things out.
    I went NC 3 weeks ago, when he told me he’s having a date, was telling him l needed time to get over this… first he “understood”, the holidays were “safe”, but then he got angry at me for not replying anymore, said our friendship won’t work out, blocked me, then unblocked me a few days later…
    I broke NC with a letter, telling him l just needed the space and that l still want our friendship and still wanna meet up him. No reaction. I stayed NC since then.
    He does have a new girlfriend now (his short term ex).
    How do l go on? I want to see him still and l really want him back – AT LEAST as a friend. Is staying NC for longer really the best thing in this case?
    Would be thankful for advice.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 4:07 am

      Hi Andrea….its OK, we all make mistakes after a breakup. I don’t know anyone that has not. Are you following the plan I lay out in my ebooks? It is good to have a comprehensive blueprint to help you along. I think the best way to go on is to go forward in focusing your own healing and having a plan. He seems a little testy right now. In the No Contact Rule Book (ebook I wrote), I talk all about how the whole process works and if it is worth staying in it longer or stopping it sooner. Go check it out if you feel you can use a helpful guide!

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