Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

So, you want to know exactly what your ex boyfriend is thinking about during the no contact rule, do ya?

I’ll admit that lately this has been a very popular topic for the Private Facebook Group.

You know, it’s been really amazing seeing hundreds of women communicate in our group about their breakups. I pick up on all sorts of perspectives that I never would have thought of by myself before.

For example, one of the things that has become clear is that men react very differently to the no contact rule.

One woman can use the no contact rule on her ex and get messages like this,

Where another woman can use it and get nothing from her ex.

But in my half decade of advising women on how to get their exes back there is one thing I have learned about the no contact rule that no one out there ever talks about. It isn’t so much the panicky text messages that you get from your ex during the no contact rule that matter it’s whats going on inside of that head of his!

That’s where this article is going to come into play.

I am going to tell you EXACTLY what’s going on inside of an ex boyfriends mind during the no contact rule by using facts… pure unadulterated facts.

Wait… How Are You Going To Use Facts?

The more and more I sit back and think about what I have over the rest of my competition out there it’s numbers and successes.

I am willing to pit my numbers, experience and successes over any one of my competitors out there.

What’s the big advantage here?

Well, since I have had so many success stories in my time here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery (and actually interviewed the women with them here, here and here) I have noticed something pretty darn cool. The women who get their exes back ask them about their time during the no contact rule so they gain the ultimate insight into what their men were actually thinking.

After they have gained that insight they actually report back to me (because they are happy they got him back.)

Do you see where I am going here?

I am going to piggyback off of the successful women who have heard what their exes are actually thinking during the no contact rule and let you in on all of the secrets.

In other words, you are going to get insight into your own man by hearing what real men are thinking during the no contact rule.

Oh, and since I am a man I am going to throw in a few of my very own insights.

Sound good?

Let’s begin!

Thought #1: She Has To Contact Me First

Out of all the thoughts I am going to let you in on today this is the one that resonates with me the most.

Why?

Well, I actually have personal experience with this.

This was the exact thought that I had during my very first breakup.

I literally remember thinking,

There is no way I am going to message here or think about talking to her. She is going to have to talk to me first.

And that’s exactly what happened.

She reached out to me first and it just fed into my ego that “I was winning the breakup.”

It wasn’t until later that I realized that me “winning” also meant that I had lost attraction for her.

You see, I am sure if you were to ask me while I was going through that breakup if I would ever consider taking her back I would have said yes.

In fact, I seem to recall a time where I literally thought to myself,

I bet if I really tried to get her back I could… But she’s going to have to contact me first.

And then it happened.

One day my phone buzzed…

I picked it up…

And lo and behold I got this text,

In that moment I truly felt like I could get her back whenever I wanted and in that moment I felt I had no desire to get her back anymore.

Why?

Well, there was no challenge to it.

Besides, we had a very tough relationship and it was just enough headwind to not make me take any action to rectify things.

Of course, this is a personal story from me. So, how do I know that this is a reaction other men will have outside of me?

Well, I’d like to turn your attention to “Kelly’s” ex boyfriend below,

A bit of background on this one.

Kelly is actually a part of our Private Facebook Group and she didn’t hear from her ex at all during the no contact rule. So, naturally she was wondering what he was thinking and I eventually told her the story I just told you.

This is what she had to say after she got him back and asked him what he was thinking,

I’m back with him because he said he was too stubborn but he had been waiting to hear from me and he missed me and he wanted it all to work out.

This is real proof.

Not just some story I made up.

This is a real reaction from a real man when the no contact rule is being done to him.

Thought #2: Why Isn’t She Contacting Me?

Close your eyes and imagine something for a minute for me.

You and your ex go through a really horrible breakup.

(Wait… that probably already happened.)

Anyways, you go through this really rough breakup and decide that you are going to do the no contact rule on him.

Of course, your ex is of the mind that the two of you should be “friends” so he reaches out a few days after the breakup with a text message like this,

Pretty basic message, right?

So, in his head he’s thinking that you are going to respond within a few minutes of him sending that text to you.

There’s just one little hiccup in his plan.

He doesn’t have the slightest idea that you are in the midst of a no contact period and when your response doesn’t come he starts to panic and sends something like this,

You see, he figures that if he acts caring towards you that you are going to break down and respond to him. Of course, since you are incredibly intelligent you decide to ride things out in the no contact rule by not responding to him.

Of course, when that happens he gets a little angry by the fact that you couldn’t acknowledge “how nice he was being to you.”

That’s when you start getting text messages like these,

Do you see the progression?

How it starts off innocent and then slowly but surely evolves into anger by the fact that you are ignoring him.

It’s at this point where one singular thought is going to dominate,

Wait… why isn’t she contacting me or responding?

Now, before I started down this path I made a solemn vow.

My Vow = Every thought that I claim a man has during the no contact rule has to be backed up by real reactions by real men.

Well, I’d like to introduce you to Kathy!

Kathy is one of the most active members in the Private Facebook Group and shes obviously dead set on getting her ex back.

Would you like to see the results Kathy is getting with the no contact rule?

Well, this is a post she recently posted to the Facebook Group,

Now, here’s a bit of context.

Kathy has been in the no contact rule for about two weeks at this point and you can see how he’s totally breaking down by the fact that she isn’t responding to him,

  • She has gotten 8 phone calls from him
  • Out of those 8 phone calls he has left 4 voicemails
  • She has also gotten a lot of text messages scattered throughout the day

So, why would her ex boyfriend act this crazy?

Well, let’s think about things from his perspective for a moment.

During his relationship with Kathy the two of them got into a certain routine.

He would text her…

She would text him back…

He would text her back…

And so on and so forth.

Now, here is the crazy part. Kathy told me that this routine actually continued after the two of them broke up.

It’s really strange, I have never had a breakup like this before. It’s almost like we are still dating but without the “official title.”

It was at this point that we advised Kathy to enter into a no contact rule and that’s when the fireworks began.

You see, by implementing the no contact rule on her ex Kathy has essentially interrupted the pattern that he had grown so accustomed to.

Instead of having his normal responses he is literally sitting there thinking,

Why isn’t she responding to me?

And this singular thought is motivating him enough to try to do everything in his power to get her to respond.

Thought #3: Shes Not Reaching Out To Me… Good! I Wasn’t Going To Get Back With Her Anyways

For many of you this is your ultimate nightmare but I am going to show you something that is going to completely re-frame the way you look at a man who has this thought.

But before I do that let’s talk a little bit about the state of mind a man is in who is thinking this.

So, the complete thought is,

She’s not reaching out to me…. GOOD! I wasn’t going to get back with her anyways.

This almost has an immature tone to it, doesn’t it?

For example, because you ignored your ex he is going to say/think something to limit his potential future (being with you.)

In other words, it is a reaction to the fact that he isn’t getting his way.

Anger is what usually sparks these kind of thoughts.

Think back to your relationship now.

…..

…….

Are you there?

Yes?

Good!

Ok, let me ask you a question.

Did your ex boyfriend ever say that he hated you or that the two of you would never be together again during your breakup?

Well, chances are that he said that during a moment of pure anger.

I mean, I don’t know many things that are as painful or angering as a breakup.

Do you?

Of course, when I try to explain to women that their ex boyfriends don’t necessarily mean what they are saying when they say they hate you, they are simply reacting to the emotions that they are feeling in that moment, it doesn’t seem to get through their heads.

Which is why I would like to introduce you to Sarah Michelle!

Now, Sarah Michelle has a bit of an interesting story.

You see, I first met Sarah Michelle on one of my Facebook Lives within the private facebook group.

(If you didn’t already know I do Facebook Lives in the group three days a week: Monday, Wednesday and Friday!)

At the time she asked her question I was really into watching another very popular “Sarah Michelle,”

Yep, Sarah Michelle Gellar (AKA: Buffy The Vampire Slayer.)

Now, if you are new to this site then one thing that you are going to learn about me very quickly is that there are two television shows that I love above all!

Show #1: Game of Thrones

Show #2: Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Anyways, I jokingly started referring to Sarah Michelle in the group as Buffy and the name kind of stuck.

Now, let’s fast forward a month to when we receive this fun little post in the group,

So, not only did she find a way to get her ex back but she is actually engaged to him know.

Buffy got game!

Now, you may be sitting there wondering,

Umm… What the hell does this even have to do with him saying that he isn’t interested in me?

Well, when I actually interviewed buffy about her success she said something that I thought was incredibly telling.

It was just so out of nowhere and I see all this girls on like the Facebook live, like their ex tells them, “I don’t love you anymore” like, “You’re too much” like, “We’re never going to be together again,” I heard all those things, all of them.

 

I heard every single one of those things come out of his mouth. When it came down to it, I found out he didn’t mean any of it, none of it. And I think that’s the hardest thing to comprehend, when you’re going through it because I feel a lot of the girls like in the Facebook page, all the guys say that and like when you hear it, like you just don’t understand at all.

Interesting, eh?

So, what Buffy is saying here is that her ex basically gave her all the common breakup excuses that you hear out there but when push came to shove she found out that he didn’t mean any of them.

And I have to say that this is a common trend I see time and time again.

So, while you may initially think it’s the end of the world if your ex has this thought that he isn’t going to take you back I am here to tell you that it’s not the end of the world.

Thought #4: I Am Going To Win This Breakup

I want to switch gears for a moment here and talk a little bit about thoughts I have had during my actual self imposed no contact rules during breakups.

You see, the way I figure it is that statistically speaking if I am having a thought during a no contact period other men are bound to have the same exact thoughts.

Sure, there may be a few exceptions here and there who don’t think the same ways that I do but generally speaking I serve as a pretty good litmus test.

Now, the thing you have to understand about me (and other men) is the fact that some of us like to view breakups as a competition.

Such a male thing to do… I know.

And like with any good competition there is a winner and a loser.

I think it’s important to define what the winner and the loser of a breakup are.

Winner = The person who makes their significant other fawn after them and regret their decision.

 

Loser = The person who fawns over their significant other and regrets their decision.

During my very first breakup I remember very clearly having this exact mindset.

I was going to do everything I possibly could to “win” the breakup or die trying.

Of course, that’s when an idea sparked in my head. Care to take a guess at what that idea was?

Go ahead and reference thought #1 in this article.

….

…….

……….

Done referencing?

That was my idea.

Isn’t it interesting how there is a strange synergy between thought #4 and thought #1.

If I hadn’t set out to “win the breakup” I wouldn’t have ever thought to “make her contact me first.”

Now, I am not one for making bold statements without having statistical proof to back them up. However, if I was a betting man I think I’d end up getting rich off of betting on the fact that most men will seek to “win the breakup” after they go through one.

Now, you may be sitting there wondering,

Why the heck does this even matter?

Well, I think it’s important to understand this mindset because it will springboard a man to have so many other thoughts during the no contact rule.

Take my example above.

I probably wouldn’t have ever thought of waiting until my ex contacted me first if I wasn’t trying to “win the breakup.”

I mean, there are so many different analogies I can draw from to prove this point.

Take any professional athlete, a profession where you get paid based on your ability to compete.

These men and women will do anything to win at their sport.

Heck, some of them take it so seriously that they cheat by using PED’s like steroids.

The important thing to remember here is that competition drives them to do it.

And a man with the mindset that he is going to “win the breakup” is essentially turning things into a competition and that means you can expect some crazy behavior from him.

Keep that in mind!

Thought #5: I’ve Lost Her Forever

I want to save the best for last!

Out of every single thought I have mentioned in this article this is the thought that you absolutely want your ex boyfriend to have.

But more on that in a second.

Yesterday I was interviewing Anna from our Facebook group.

If you didn’t already know, Anna is one of our superstar members who got her ex back,

Anyways, Anna was nice enough to agree to an interview with me where I got to pick her brain about how she used my system to get her ex back.

And during this interview she said something that really fascinated me,

“You know Chris… I asked him that if I hadn’t of reached out to him after the no contact rule if we would still be together and he said no.”

Now, this fascinates me because this isn’t actually the first time I have heard this from a woman who has gotten her ex back.

In fact, I have been hearing variations of this type of response from ex boyfriends.

So, what does it mean?

Well, at the core it means that they had hit that point where they were wanting to hear from their exes (you) but had mentally prepared themselves to move on.

Now, maybe this isn’t a revolutionary insight but I actually think it is.

I mean, it’s at the point where your ex gives up on you that you can actually have a lot of success at shifting things in your favor.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that almost every success story that I have talked to in person has repeated this insight from their exes.

Now, why do you think that is?

Well, I think it has a lot to do with “the unexpected.”

Let’s take a walk around in your exes shoes for a minute.

So, your ex hits this point in his mind where he literally thinks to himself,

I have lost her forever…

Therefore his paradigm has shifted and he has literally convinced himself of this.

(PAUSE)

I think it’s important for me to remind you that you are in the midst of a no contact rule at this point.

(UNPAUSE)

After your no contact rule is finished you send your ex the following text message,

Now, this is completely unexpected to him.

Why?

Because he has literally convinced himself that he has no chance with you ever again and this text is a ray of hope.

In other words, it’s unexpected and that makes it even more powerful than it would have originally been.

March 10, 2017

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (197)

  1. Kelly Kapowski - 0

    Kelly Kapowski

    My boyfriend and I were together for a year and a half, good friends for a year before that. He called me after a month long army training camp followed by a trip to Mexico. He had also found out his chances of getting into medical school are very slim. He called me two days before I flew to visit him for a few days and said that the distance was too much and that it hadn’t felt like a relationship the past month and a half or so. A couple days later he said that he “just fell out of love with me.” It is as if he did a complete 180. One day saying how much he loved me and how excited he is to see me, and then I was blindsided by the breakup!

    It has been almost a month and I will be taking my little sister to college, which is where he is for one more year. He texted me saying that he hopes he can see me and talk to me when he gives me my stuff back. He also said “I miss you, it’s weird not checking up with you everyday.”

    What do you recommend I do?

    Reply
  2. Cecile - 0

    Cecile

    So we broke up after a big fight. I begged and pleaded, no success.
    Started no contact 2 days later. He messaged me, Facebook stalked, etc, no reply. Around day 15 I ran into him and he WOULDNT let me go. Ended up telling me he misses me and still loves me, will work on his issues and wants me in his life however I choose to have him.

    I was happy. Next day though he was normal(ish). Day after that he got a little distant? Eventually he messaged me that he does miss and love me, but would like to be friends or something, because he didn’t know he hurt me that badly and it bothers him, so he’s scared to try to start something again because he doesn’t want to put me through that again.

    I don’t know what to do? Should o jump back into NC and do extended NC? Broke it because he had THAT conversation with me where it sounded like he wanted to get back together. Or will that make things worse? I don’t want to end up friend zoned and I’m not sure what to do now.

    Pleaaassseee help…

    Reply
  3. Chaley Barnes - 0

    Chaley Barnes

    Hi I was talking to a guy that was getting out of a 3 yr relationship. We immediately hit it off and he couldn’t stay away from me however she was still in the process of moving out when we were getting to know each other. He absolutely loved everything about me and I adored him. One day he just told me to back off and left without a trace. Now he won’t answer my texts and I have no clue how to feel. We were so close and then it was like he disappeared. I want him back but I don’t know what to do. Please help me.

    Reply
  4. Marsha - 0

    Marsha

    Hi, my ex boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because he’s tired o my trust issues. We’ve gotten into arguments because of my inhability to trust him. He found out that I added him on anonymous social media. That was the straw that broke his back. He said he could no longer be with me until I’m ready and told me to think about what I wanted. Immediately after the break up I went NC. With out warning. He contacted me asking if I’m okay a few times, realized he was being ignored called and then got the point and has not contacted me. We work together and will be seeing Each othe soon making it 3 weeks of NC. I went NC to move on but now I’m realizing I miss him. Do we have a solid chance of working things out?

    Reply
  5. Amanda K. - 0

    Amanda K.

    Hello, my ex-boyfriend and I broke up 1 month ago due to talking with an ex. My ex-texted me asking how I was and I responded as we continued talking, I had no intention of doing anything just seeing how he was. The problem I had was that I did not tell my now ex-boyfriend about the conversation and he found a few months later by his friend. He was completely devasted and couldn’t believe I didn’t tell him and hid it for a long time. In result he broke up with me because of a communication problem. I begged him not to break up but he said he has too because he doesn’t know what he wants anymore. Fast forward till now, we talked a few times and hung out and he responded to my texts and everything, basically everything seemed the same and he even said I love you and I miss you but a week ago he completely went out of sight and would not return my calls or texts and would just reads my snap chat conversation to him. On Monday I told him that I will be backing off until he is okay with himself and knows what he wants and I felt bad for constantly calling and everything so it was best for the back off. I still love him dearly and I am terribly sorry for what I did and I told him and apologized for it 3days after the breakup. I am nervous that I won’t be able to get him back because I am not talking to him and I am completely out of his and I am afraid he will move on to another girl and replacement . We were together for 7 months and the majority of it was LDR but we knew we were the ones for each other. I don’t know if I am on the right track and I am hoping on my life that everything will be okay. Any insight would really help me?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      He’s already not talking to you..instead of worrying be active in improving yourself

  6. Gabby - 0

    Gabby

    Hi. I have been best friends with this guy for 6 years (I will call him H). This time last year, he confessed to me during a difficult time with my boyfriend that he liked me. He tried to kiss me which all took me by surprise. I pushed him back but he only drew closer in the weeks to come. We got into some passionate and intimate time twice after during which, my boyfriend and i were having a rough patch to a point of breaking up. I told H that I was not able to continue seeing him as i felt uncomfortable with the situation. He retaliated by radio silence etc. I was so confused at this point. Then I heard from him and we carried on being friends as usual asking for my help as usual but, our relationship came from good to bad. He’s always angry and fighting with me. He then told me he has bipolar condition. So each time he lashes out, I bear this in mind and be forgiving and understanding. He promised that he would help me move out of boyfriend. December came and our relationship deteriorated. I was hurt and found myself in love with him and more determined to move out of my house. I broke up with my boyfriend a few times but he didn’t listen to me and carried on with our relationship as if he didn’t take me seriously. H and i still had contact but very limited during Christmas due to some stupid misunderstandings. I believed that when he thought I was leaving my ex, he got a bit scared and that’s why our relationship deteriorated. But when I told him I’m still with my boyfriend and wanted to work things out, he chased me.

    By January, we started seeing each other again. We were intimate and our connection was stronger than ever. We were seeing each other in secret. I know what you might be thinking. I’m a bad person. I was honestly totally confused with my situation. In early March, my boyfriend proposed to me. This was all I ever wanted. I couldn’t face to tell H. I am in love with him but I feared he couldn’t give me what I wanted which is commitment. I am so lost and confused. But he makes me feel desirable and the fact that we had amazing sex and connection. Eventually, I told him my boyfriend proposed and that we can’t see each other anymore intimately. I was hoping he would confess his undying love for me and tell me I’m being stupid but instead, he congratulated me. Then, mid May, he used up a little innocent situation as an excuse for us to fall out. We argued over text and he said some very mean and hurtful things. I blocked him on FB messenger and WhatsApp. A week later I unblocked him only to find out he has blocked me on both too. 5 weeks later, last week, he unblocked me on both. I didn’t contact. But it was his birthday last Tuesday and I sent him a birthday card by post. He has not contacted me either.

    I don’t know what to do. I love him and I feel he is my soul mate. Do I send him a message?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      If you dont love your fiance, break up with him and have the courage to be independent whether you work things out with your best friend or not..

  7. Star122 - 0

    Star122

    I went no contact after 3 months of “friendship” and hoping that we’ll be back together…. on the day when I went no contact, we spoke on phone. I was crying and asked him to let me go as I’m hurting too much. He agreed and send me a text to take care. Since that there is no contact. Do I still have a chance to win him back?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Since when was that? And how much are you improving yourself and being active in posting?

  8. Viola - 0

    Viola

    I was dishonest and realized late in the game how much I cared. I ended the relationship and came clean, but I hurt him. I don’t understand why he kept calling me every day and we talked for hours. I asked if he could forgive and potentially rekindle things in the future and he said yes, but we were both dealing with other things at the time. Now I don’t know if he meant it. I felt terrible about being dishonest, and I initiated text conversations instead of letting him do it. Eventually he started being more distant, but he continued to call me every night. I finally told him that I needed clarity and he said he wanted freedom. He called again the next day. I told him I respected his wishes and that I didn’t want to keep talking to him while I study for an exam. He said he would respect that.

    It has been 21 days without contact. He has been posting mean, passive aggressive things on facebook, but also has posted things that relate to conversations we have had and things he knows I care about. Given the awkwardness of conversations I had with one of them, it is clear that he told mutual friends about what I did and that they are angry with me.

    I don’t know that No Contact will work in this situation as he is definitely the type to want to “win the break up” and he hasn’t. He is used to having girls chase him after breakups. Additionally, he has every right to be angry with me. I keep telling myself that I’m crazy to think it’s possible that he would ever want to have anything to do with me again. It’s clear to me from his behavior that he is trying to get a rise out of me. Although we were amicable in our last conversation, his behavior makes me feel like he now hates me. It hurts.

    I don’t know whether to keep going with NC or to reach out and try to calm the anger. It makes me sad that I caused him pain and it’s really hard to concentrate on studying for my very important exam while thinking about this. I’m trying to work on myself and let go, but I can’t seem to do it. What is he thinking and what should I do?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      If you’ve already apologized then right now stick to nc until he cools down because reacting to anger is not calming it, it’s rewarding it.

  9. Janet - 0

    Janet

    Hi, I have a question, what if my ex wanted me to move on? We’ve been together for several months. And lately he started to think he can’t give me what I wanted. I.e. attention, being nice and spend time etc. He was stressed and just broke up with me out of the blue, I didn’t feel it’s coming. Initially I became very emotional and demanded a closure, but he remained cold-hearted (no response) and then I texted yeah I understand, just want to see you happy. I don’t know why I have said this. Clearly he was a coward because he promised so much before I started to trust him. Since then I have stick to NC but still nothing. I constantly work on myself in a gym, social cycle, career etc. But I am scared if he sees I post nice and happy face on social media (even though I am dead inside) do you think these are just proofs to him I am fine and he can move on himself?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      You mean he wants you to chase, be sad and desperate and then he’ll get back to you?

  10. Elle - 0

    Elle

    Just ended a 9 yrs relationship and started the no contact rule. We lived together for 5 yrs and 6 mos ago I moved away for medical school. He was supposed to come join me but became distant like someone else was I’m the picture then he finally stated that he is under a lot of stress managing bills without me and he need s break from the relationship to find himself and live his life but he wants to remain friends. I plan on going to get my things out our home in 5 weeks then permanently no contact. Is no contact effective right now when he knows that he will see me again in 5 weeks? Does it work on long distance relationships or are they easier for a man to over, like out of sight out of mind.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Start the no contact period as soon as you can, if you can get the things earlier that’s better. It’s ok if he will see you because of that, just don’t be emotional, don’t talk about feelings nor the relationship.

  11. Sophie - 0

    Sophie

    Hi,
    Me and my ex were together for 2 years, due to me having mental health problems it broke down, and he left me very out the blue.
    It’s been 6 weeks since he has left me. I have been doing no contact, but he has text to come and collect his things (we lived together with a son) which I agreed to for this Friday…. what do I say/do when he arrives? He’s been very cold since the breakup but I want him back. I’m now receiving therapy for my health issues, and I want him to see that I am making these positive changes….. HELP 🙁

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Just be calm and cool.. don’t talk about your feelings nor the relationship..

    • Sophie - 0

      Sophie

      Thank you Amor,

      He actually didn’t show up to collect his things, which I took as a positive! I didn’t contact him so initiated my first message (LC due to our son) today. I went for a little memory we had between us, he responded in a jokingly manner. I ended the conversation and will go for another text tomorrow…. so scared

  12. Emily - 0

    Emily

    We dated for a few months and he broke up with me 3 weeks ago as he felt that it doesn’t feels right to be with me. He cares and still have love for me, but don’t want to continue with the relationship anymore. What if my ex was the one who suggested for no contact, and told me to do no contact as well in order to move on, so that in the future we can still be friends? He said he does not want to give me false hope and he has been sticking to his words up till today. He asked me to move on and find someone else. Will no contact still work here in this case?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      how many days did he suggest?

    • Elle - 0

      Elle

      Indefinitely….until he finds himself.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      that’s good.. start the no contact rule immediately. Be active in improving yourself and in posting, look like you’ve accepted the situation and you’re moving on.

  13. Bella - 0

    Bella

    14 days into no contact, I saw my ex boyfriend on the bus. I looked away, to show him that I was not there on purpose (I had begged for him not to break up). I wanted to make him understand that I am no longer in this desperate mindset. Is the NC ruined now and do I need to start over the NC? (we never talked, just had eye contact). I was planning to write to him on day 21 or 30.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      nope.. you just have to continue the count.

  14. Rachel - 0

    Rachel

    I feel like my situation is unlike any other. My ex and I didn’t text 24/7. He actually didn’t even have a phone. We could only talk through fb messenger when he had wifi. But anyways, We have broken up and gotten back together a million times because he can’t get over an ex who lives about 2 hours away and has a new boyfriend. So, Long story short, we were broken up and going to get back together (or so I thought) but then one day he invited me to a show at a bar later that night after we just spent all day and the last night together. So, I met him there with friends and he forgot he invited me and was on a freaking tinder date. I left and said f*** you. That’s the last I saw him. And he ended up going home with the girl. He messaged me a few days later to tell me something and I said I never wanted to hear from him again. Im not exactly regretting anything, but I do miss him and want to remain friends someday. I’m just really upset about the whole thing and need someone to talk to I guess. This happened about two weeks ago. Thank you

    Reply
  15. smashbolt - 0

    smashbolt

    hi.. i recently broke up with my guy and i’ve been following the no contact rule. It’s been like a few days …But its been really hard for me to put a smiling face when i get to see him everyday. so he texted me telling “i’m feeling the heat of ur ignorance.. very nice carry on”.. i did not reply to this msg but i happened to see him again that day i jus wrote on a paper that i need sometime for myself and i hope u can understand. After i left he texted me asking for my account number as he had to pay me some money and i did not reply back.. Am i doing the no contact period right ? i’m focusing completely on myself but i become clueless when i get to see him everyday. what should i do?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      its ok to give him your account number.. just dont talk about feelings, how are yous, and the relationship

  16. Hollie - 0

    Hollie

    I was casually seeing someone for two months and we were getting closer but found out had gone with other woman. I have never ever ignored him. We split up and I ended it on Tuesday and I had a text this morning Thursday already with a link to a song he was trying to remember. Um hello we split up! What do I do? Wait for him to text again? I’m shocked he’s text so soon.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      are you going to do the no contact rule? if you are, do at least 21 days.

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