How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all.

I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish a specific goal. In addition to that, I am extremely involved on this site. Me and my team respond to every comment personally and as long as your comment relates to the topic that my “in-depth guide” covers you should get a response within a day (unless it’s the weekend.)

Now, I know that’s a bit of a shocking statement to make especially when you consider the state of the “get your back niche” these days. I mean, just the other day I was doing research on a forum and I saw hundreds of women NOT getting answered. But I really feel that’s what makes Ex Boyfriend Recovery different from the rest.

We have a whole team dedicated to upholding our “motto,” if you will.

What’s our motto?

That everyone who comes to the site to read, watch, or comment should be helped and attended to.

Oh… how rude of me.

Perhaps I should introduce you to “The Ex Recovery Team.”

team members

Now, throughout this article you may notice that a few of our team members chime in and offer little tidbits of advice on top of the advice that I am dishing out. Don’t be alarmed by that.

You are still learning from me, Chris Seiter, it’s just that I always think five heads are better than one.

But perhaps I shouldn’t get too touchy feely here. You are here for a reason after all and that reason is to make your ex boyfriend miss you.

So, since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

I Am Going To Coach You… For FREE!

And that’s where I come in!

Secret 4 Step Training

What if I were to tell you that I have put together an “On Demand Coaching Class” where I am going to coach you for free?

All you need to do if you want to join my FREE coaching class is click the green button below,

Yes, I Want You To Coach MeSign Up For Free On Demand Coaching

I thought would be kind of cool to show you some of the actual results women have gotten through my “On Demand Coaching,”

Oh, and if you were wondering “Jennifer Christina” is my wife 😉 .

This is another Facebook testimonial from someone who is on the Private Facebook Group.

I’ve got about 300 more Facebook testimonials just like this.

If you are interested in joining my Free On Demand Coaching please click the link below,

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February 1, 2017

1 - Will Making An Ex Boyfriend Miss You Help You Win Him Back?

You are here to learn about how to make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

If you are then this makes me assume that ultimately you want your ex boyfriend back. After all, why else would you want to make him miss you?

(Well, I suppose getting revenge on him is an answer here but lets just assume that, that isn’t the reason you want to make him miss you.)

The thinking goes a little like this,

“If I make him miss me then eventually he will realize that he wants to be back in a relationship with me.”

So, lets do a little role playing here and assume that you end up taking the advice I teach on this page to heart and successfully make your ex boyfriend miss you.

Do you think he will come back?

Do you think making him miss you alone will be enough?

Unfortunately no…

Don’t get me wrong, you will absolutely have to make your ex miss you if you want any chance of winning him back but it isn’t going to be enough alone.

Think of it like a puzzle.

In order to get your ex boyfriend back you need to put the entire puzzle together,


However, simply getting your ex boyfriend to miss you is essentially like trying to put a puzzle together with just one piece.

It’s impossible.

But that’s why you need a reference guide to teach you to put all the pieces together. So, The Ex Recovery Team and I have put together an entire book for doing just that.

It’s called,

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Think of it like the ultimate step by step game plan for getting your ex back. It takes you through the process from start to finish. It gives you all the puzzle pieces and covers just about every situation you can think of.


Take a look at the situations we cover in PRO,

  • You Cheated
  • They Cheated
  • You Cheated On Each Other
  • Long Distance
  • Being Blocked
  • He/She Has A New Girlfriend/Boyfriend
  • If You Slept With Them
  • Engagement
  • If They Are In The Army
  • If You Have A Child Together
  • If You Have Been Friend Zoned
  • How To Get Them Back After A Long Time Apart (1 Yr +)
  • They Broke Up With You
  • You Broke Up With Them
  • If You Work With Them
  • If Your Ex Just Got Divorced
  • If You Just Got Divorced
  • Getting Your Husband/Wife Back
  • If You Think You Were The Rebound
  • If They Were On The Rebound
  • What To Do If They Are Married
  • What If There Is An Age Gap
  • If You Are Pregnant (Women Only)
  • What If Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant (Men Only)
  • On Again/Off Again

But you are probably getting bored of hearing me talk about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO aren’t you? After all, you did come here to make your ex boyfriend back, right?

Well, then lets get right to it.

I give you the ultimate guide for making an ex boyfriend miss you.

Please enjoy it! Oh, and one thing we are really good about here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery is answering people’s questions. So, if you have any type of question about the process I am about to teach you feel free to ask us in the comments section of this article or you can ask Leia, our support rep at [email protected]

Lets dive in!

ExBoyfriend Recovery PRO

Get the Fairy Tale Feeling Back again with our Step-by-Step Guide to Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Learn More

2 - You Have A "Missing" Advantage Already


One of the things that I have always found fascinating when it comes to researching breakups is the scientific data that I come across. You see, I am one of those people who is low on faith.

Faith = Believing in something without seeing it.

And perhaps that’s a little strange for the profession that I have chosen since a lot of getting an ex back is all about believing in an outcome that hasn’t occurred yet.

Nevertheless, I think it would be wrong of me to try to teach you something without having proof it works which is why I find the scientific research done on breakups so fascinating.

So many insights can be derived from them.

Take The Brain Study As An Example…

Did you know that science has proven that after a breakup you experience the same type of feeling that a drug addict would feel if he/she was going through a withdrawal period?

In 2005, psychologist Art Aron, neurologist Lucy Brown, and anthropologist Helen Fisher all teamed up to do an interesting study on individuals who had just recently gone through a breakup.

They decided to have the individuals put a brain imaging tool on and then showed them pictures of their ex.

The scientists were trying to determine what was happening in the brain of the people who just went through the breakup.

The results were shocking.

The part of the brain that lit up was the same part of the brain that is commonly present in drug addicts who are going through withdrawal.

So, I guess it’s true what they say.

Love is a drug!

But one simple study probably isn’t enough to sway your opinion, huh?

Ok, lets dive in a little deeper and look at the interesting world of “Facebook Creeping”

The Facebook Creeper Statistic


I have done this.

Hell, I think everyone does this after a breakup. It’s human nature to be curious about what your ex is up to post breakup. I remember in my circumstance with my most recent ex I would think to myself,

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.36.41 PM“I wonder if she is depressed… I bet she is. Let me look and find out.”

And ever since Facebook was invented it has become the ultimate tool for spying on on ex. Just ask Veronika Lukacs who conducted the study as part of her Media Studies Masters thesis, in which she looked at how many people have admitted to “Facebook Creeping” on an ex.

Now, if you don’t know what “Facebook Creeping” is it’s actually quite simple.

Facebook Creeping = Spying on an exes Facebook profile after a breakup to see what they are up to.

You won’t believe how many people admitted to creeping on their exes Facebook.

Nearly 90%!


That’s incredible.

You realize what that means, right?

Well, it means that there is a nearly 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is going to come strolling by your Facebook profile assuming you are still friends there.

That’s amazing.

But again, I still feel this incredible need to provide you with overwhelming statistics before I specifically talk about the advantage you have.

The Overwhelming Statistics In Your Favor


Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much?

Now, does that necessarily mean that if your ex falls into the 71% category that he is going to be missing you?

No, remember, this statistic is basically just saying that 71% of people think about their exes too much. It doesn’t dive too deep into what he is thinking when he is missing you.

He could be thinking negative things…

He could be thinking positive things…

We just don’t know.

Nevertheless, thinking about an ex too much certainly is a start towards missing that ex.

But it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. So, this basically tells us that even if you are married you may still think about your ex too much.

What are my thoughts on this statistic?

Well, I think the important distinction that has to be made is if they are thinking about their ex TOO MUCH or just a little bit. I think it’s human nature to have your mind wander to the past and think about an ex.

Hell, I am sure even my own wife has had this happen from time to time but it’s not like she can turn her mind off.

No one can.

But there is a definite difference between having your mind take a small trip down memory lane and thinking about an ex all day every day.

I would be curious to hear what people defined as thinking “too much”

Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

Now I want to talk about your “Big Advantage”

The Big Advantage That You Have

I got pretty darn boring just now and threw out a bunch of statistics for you. The statistics were meant to prove one thing.

What The Statistics Prove = That even after a breakup, without you doing anything, your ex is thinking about you way too much

So, if your ex is thinking about you too much then you can ultimately use that to your advantage, right?

That’s your big advantage when it comes to making a man miss you. As a default, he is already thinking about you too much. So, that puts you in a pretty good place because many of you will find that it’s not going to take too much to get him to miss you.

Now, does that mean that it’s easy to make a man miss you?

Absolutely not.

There are a lot of factors involved.

But here is my vision.

Right now your ex, as a default, is thinking about you too much,


Now, imagine if you took an ex who was thinking about you too much and coupled it with a professional’s strategies,

My strategies

Making him miss you should be a piece of cake, right?

Well, there is still one more thing that I think we need to cover before I can give you the strategy you should implement and this is something that is going to be important for you to understand because it’s going to directly affect your chances for making him miss you.

The Number One Factor That Determines Whether He Misses You Or Not

Let’s role play.

Lets pretend that in your entire life you have only dated two men.

Man One – Was the great love of your life. He treated you like a queen, made you feel butterflies and as you were dating him you would often think to yourself, “I think he may be “The One.””

Man Two- You also loved Man Two but he did not treat you so well. Your entire relationship, while electric was full of fights. Man Two had a bad habit of putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself.

So, lets assume that you have broken up with both of these men.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.42.07 PMWhich one do you think you are more likely to miss?

Man One, right?


Because he treated you like a queen and your overall relationship with him was better.

And that brings me to my ultimate point.

Without a doubt the number one factor that determines whether a man will miss you or not is always going to be your past relationship with him.

Now, I am not like those other relationship experts out there that will tell you what you want to hear 100% of the time.

If you had a horrible relationship with your ex your chances of having him miss you is going to be lower. That’s just the way it is. Of course, if you had a great relationship with him your chances will be higher.

So, it works both ways.

The Secret Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup


Ok, one more thing to talk about before we can start getting down to the actual strategy of making an ex boyfriend miss you.

Did you know that you have a “secret advantage” if you were actually the one to initiate the breakup with your ex?

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

1. He Can Break Up With You- Where your ex boyfriend actually is the one to initiate the break up.

2. You Can Break Up With Him- Where YOU actually are the one to initiate the break up with him.

3. You Both Mutually Agree To Break Up- This one is where you both break up mutually. No side strikes first.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup.

We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct.

When I get to talking about the no contact rule (really soon) I am going to talk about psychological reactance.

But I suppose I can give you an early taste here since it is definitely going to apply.

Psychological reactance theory basically states that when you take away someones options to do something their attraction to gain their freedom to get that option back increases.

Think of it like this.

Lets say you are walking in the store with a toddler named Ricky (no idea why I picked that name but bear with me here.) Ricky tugs on your pants and points to a toy saying,

“I want that toy!”

You immediately say,

“No, you can’t have that toy.”

Well, now that, Ricky’s freedom to have that toy has been taken away what does he want more than anything?

The toy!

This is psychological reactance in a nutshell.

So, by breaking up with your ex you actually increase the chances that he will miss you because his freedom to have you has been taken away.

Pretty interesting, right?

Of course, there is one case where this might not work as well.

The ONE Case Where You Might Not Have This Advantage

If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

Cheating is one of those topics that is difficult for everyone involved (including me an impartial third party.)

“Wait, why is it hard for you?”

Easy, it’s hard because I am the one that has to come up with the game plan for putting a “cheating couple” back together. Thus, I have to do a lot of research on the topic to determine the best way to proceed.

So, like I said above, you probably aren’t going to have this secret advantage if you broke up with your ex if he cheated on you.


Because clearly something went wrong with your relationship.

Generally speaking people don’t cheat on a whim.

It’s not like a guy wakes up one day and goes,

“ALRIGHTY! Today is the day I cheat on my girlfriend.”

It’s usually a slow process that takes place over months. And for a man to cheat on you generally means that the wasn’t fully satisfied with the relationship.

Now, does that mean that he never loved you if he cheated on you?

No, Esther Perel, has dedicated pretty much her whole life to studying infidelity and she has found that oftentimes men and women who cheat are still in love with their partner. They just want more excitement in their sex lives.

Now, take that whatever way you want.

I am going to take it as if there is a fundamental problem with your relationship because in my mind a man who is fully satisfied with his relationship will be excited and engaged in his sex life with his partner.

Nevertheless, if you broke up with your ex because he cheated then you aren’t going to have this small little advantage that I am talking about.

Now lets look at the other side of the coin.

The ONE Case Where You Will Absolutely Have The Secret Advantage

If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

Above I established that the the secret advantage that I keep talking about heavily revolves around this idea of “psychological reactance.”

And to be honest I can’t think of situation that screams “taking a mans freedom to have you away” more than this one.

If you broke up with your ex boyfriend when he didn’t want you to break up with him then you have definitely left him with the impression that you are a very rare commodity.

It’s a bit of that law of scarcity.

You will find that the more scarce you are the more attractive you will be to men in general.

It’s the same way that diamonds are so attractive to women.

It’s the fact that they look pretty AND they are very rare.

I mean, something tells me that you wouldn’t find a diamond so attractive if you go buy it for a dollar at the dollar store.

Anyways, lets move on to the meat of this guide.

How to make a man miss you after a breakup!

3 - The "Make Him Miss You" Strategy

I want you to take a look at the graphic below,


Pretty straightforward, right?

“Umm Chris… no it’s not.”

Well, don’t worry. It will be because I am going to break it down for you.

The “BIG” strategy for making your ex boyfriend miss you is divided up into four different parts,

1. The No Contact Rule
2. Social Media Game
3. The “Frank Sinatra Effect”
4. Jealousy Tactics

Lets start from the top!

4 - PART ONE: The No Contact Rule

(For more in-depth information on the No Contact Rule and how to PROPERLY put it into practice please check out the No Contact Rule Book)

talk to me

Throughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme.

Hell, I even wrote an entire book about it (The No Contact Rule Book.)

But why is it such a big theme?

Why do I talk about it so much?

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.49.58 PMWell that’s easy to answer. The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most successful strategies for getting an ex back. A few weeks ago I compiled all of my recorded success stories to try to determine any correlations that I could find between what the people who had actually won their exes back were doing that the people who were failing weren’t.

Turns out the no contact rule was present in 74% of the successes.

But to be honest I think that number is actually a lot higher than that.


Because a portion of the success stories that I had recorded didn’t give me much information.

They just said something like,

“Thanks, I got my ex back.”

Not really deep enough for me to determine what that particular person did to succeed in getting their ex back, huh?

Don’t believe me?

Ok, here is a sample of one of the “thin” success stories that I got,




So, if you were to ask my opinion on how many of the successes used the no contact rule I would put the number closer to 90%. Whatever the case, one thing is very clear.

The no contact rule is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.

But how does it make him miss you?

Good question.

In order to answer that I think we first need to define the no contact rule.

The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for a specific period of time. If during that “period of time” you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond. The no contact rule serves three main purposes. It gives both of you a “cool off period” to calm down from the breakup, it gives you the opportunity to improve yourself during the “cool off period” and it raises the chances that he will miss you.

Sounds simple, right?


The no contact rule is without a doubt the hardest strategy to complete on this site.

Hell, all you have to do is visit one of my “no contact rule” pages to see just how many women are struggling with it.

But you don’t care about that do you?

No, you care about the psychology behind why the no contact rule can make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

Ok, lets tackle that right now.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

I want you to ask me a question.

The question = Chris, what is the number one mistake you see people making after a breakup.

WOW, thanks for asking that amazing question 😉 .

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 3.18.52 PMThe number one mistake that I see people making after a breakup is begging. They beg for their exes back. The become GNATS and just stick around.

I mean, put yourself in your ex boyfriends shoes for a second assuming that you were bugging the hell out of him after a breakup with you.

Would you find it attractive if someone you didn’t have feelings for anymore was bugging you every five seconds trying to convince you to do something you didn’t want to do?

Something tells me you wouldn’t.

Now, how does this play into making an ex miss you?

Easy, a man cannot miss that which he sees every day.

One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

I know it’s kind of a weird choice when there are way more epic movies out there but for some reason “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

What can I say… I dig revenge stories.

Truthfully, I watch the movie at least once a year and you know what causes me to watch it?

Something reminds me of it and then I think to myself,

“Man, that movie was so good I miss the feeling that it gave me. Maybe I should watch it.”

But I only have that thought because I haven’t seen it in a long time. Lets say that I watched it every day for a year. I can tell you right now that at that point it wouldn’t be my favorite movie anymore. No, it would probably end up being my most hated movie. It would become stale and I would grow sick of it.

By not giving your ex a chance to miss you, via the no contact rule, you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The No Contact Rule Makes You More Attractive (I Can Prove It)

Have you ever heard of the notion that “people want what they can’t have?”

People want “that” which they feel should belong to them. By taking something away from them (e.g. you make yourself unavailable by not communicating), the person will be motivated to pursue.

In the world of psychology, it’s called “Psychological Reactance”. This concept emerged from the work of the American psychologist, Jack Brehm in 1966.
“Brehm argues that individuals have a set of “free behaviors” that they believe they can engage in at present or some time in the future. Behavioral freedoms vary in importance, with some being highly important because they deal with critical survival. Stephen Worchel (2004) suggested that these freedoms help define the individual’s self-identity. A threat or elimination of freedom results in an increase of attractiveness of the forbidden act and the motivation to engage in that behavior.” In really simple terms, when you implement the No Contact Strategy, it’s like you are secretly saying, “You can’t have me. You can’t talk to me. I am depriving you of your freedom to be with me”.

With psychological reactance in play, your Ex is secretly thinking, “I want what you say I can’t have. It should belong to me and is part of me, so I will pursue it”

Ah, and that leads the way to another little hypothesis that I have.

According to psychological reactance your ex is going to want what he can’t have. We have already established that. But lets take a trip to fantasy land (your favorite place in the world) and say that you successfully get your ex back.

I have this theory that the harder you make it for him to get you back the more he will appreciate you when he has you.

My buddies first car is an example.

I had a friend who wanted a car more than anything when he was 16 years old. So, he spent an entire summer mowing peoples yards to get money to buy this beat up chevy truck that kind of looked like this,

old beat up chevy truck

Pretty crappy, right?

Here’s the thing.

He treated that car so good and he loved it more than anything. Hell, even now he reminisces about it. But I doubt he would have treated it so well if it had just been gifted to him.

In fact, there was one time that I asked him flat out,

“Why do you like this truck so much?”

His response was simple…

“Because I had to work so hard to get it. Dude, you have no idea how hard it was to scrounge up the money to buy this thing.”

So, here is my theory when it comes to you and your ex.

The harder you make it for him to get you back the more he is going to appreciate you once he gets you back. After all, I doubt you are in this to get your ex back and break up again, right? No, you want a relationship that is going to last.

And the no contact rule can provide that difficulty for him to succeed in getting you back.

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

5 - PART TWO: Social Media Game

(For more in-depth information on how to use social media to get your ex back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

And now we move on to our second part of the strategy, social media,

strategy social media

Now, if you are confused as to what this is let me give you a quick history of social media.

Since the internet started… (No just kidding. I wouldn’t bore you to death with that.)

Look, here’s the deal.

Social media is an excellent way to make your ex miss you.


Well, above I established that close to 90% of exes “creep” on Facebook. In other words, the probability that your ex boyfriend is going to peek at your profile at some point post breakup is high.

So, why not prepare for that moment?

Why not pimp out your profile to be everything that he finds attractive in a woman.

How To Make Your Social Media Profile Perfect

I want to tell you a funny story that happened to my wife yesterday.

So, if you don’t know my wife she is in charge of our YouTube channel and our marketing experts. In other words, if we want to get featured anywhere popular she is in charge of making that happen.

Well, one day she decided that we should be featured on “Ted Talks” so she started trying to network with some of the people over at “Ted Talks” and she managed to locate one of the person’s Facebook profiles.

So, rather than asking me to reach out directly she decided that since this person was a man it would be better if she reached out since she knows she is a very beautiful woman.

There was just one problem.

This was her Facebook profile picture,

profile picture

Now, I don’t know about you but that’s not going to make any man fall over himself. Well, except maybe me (that’s my daughter.) My wife, of course, knew this so she decided to change the picture to something really sexy like this,

ellas grove

That’s my wife in a model shoot for some clothing company named Ella’s Grove.

Anyways, what do you think happened to her after she changed her profile picture on Facebook from our child to a sexy looking picture of her.

All the men went wild (myself included.)

She was getting comments like,

comment 1

comment 2

comment 3

Ok, first off… what the fu*k?

Looks like I have to beat some people up.


We have some work to do!


No I am just kidding…

Please don’t take that seriously.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.57.49 PMThe point of telling you this story was to show you how powerful a picture can be. You can potentially make your ex boyfriend one of those men and show him what he is missing out on by posting strategic pictures on your social media profiles.

So, here is what I am going to do.

I am going to teach you my two best methods for catching a mans attention via social media.

1. The Profile Picture Change
2. The “Fun” Picture

Lets start with the profile picture change.

The Profile Picture Change

This is what my wife did and indirectly got all that attention from men.

Now, I am going to pick on myself a bit here.

Before I met my wife I heavily relied on good looks to attract attention. In other words, any picture I posted to Facebook looked like this,

not a good picture

Now, even though this picture isn’t bad it isn’t earth shatteringly amazing which is what I should be going for.

And then I met my wife….

The woman who forced me to get professional pictures done.

Like this,

professional pictures

Do you see the difference.

This is the kind of picture that I want you to be posting to your social media profile as your profile picture. Here is my general rule of thumb, any picture that makes you look like you belong in a magazine is definitely the one you should have as your profile picture.

So, I guess what I am saying is that you should hire a professional photographer to take your picture. Now, for those of you who don’t want to step outside the comfort zone and hire a photographer I have one piece of advice to you.

Often times it’s the things that make us step outside our comfort zone that yield the best results.

The “Fun” Picture

I have a question for you.

What do you think your ex boyfriend expecting you to do after the breakup?

He’s expecting you to mope around and be depressed.

Don’t believe me?

I remember an early breakup of mine where this is exactly what I thought.

“God I hope she is suffering.”

Pretty mean, right?

But when I would spy on her Facebook profile and see that she wasn’t depressed it would drive me nuts. I want this exact thing to unfold for you when your ex boyfriend snoops around your profile.

So, how can you accomplish this?

Easy, post pictures of yourself out having fun.

Here is a great example. Look at the picture below,

These girls like they are having fun. This is the kind of picture you want to post.

Because here is what he is going to think when he sees it,

“Wait, why is she out having fun? Why isn’t she sitting at home eating ice cream like I thought?”

Once you get him thinking that this thought is right around the corner,

“I’m kind of jealous…”

And as I am going to establish later in this guide jealousy can lead to a man missing you.

6 - PART THREE: The Frank Sinatra Effect

(For more in-depth information on The Frank Sinatra Effect check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

frank sinatra

One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from a man by the name of Frank Sinatra.

“The best revenge in life is massive success.”

Now, what does that have to do with making an ex boyfriend miss you?

Good question.

In order for me to answer it I first need to tell you a story. To me, teaching people to get back with their exes is my passion and in order for me to give people advice I need to understand the trends.

What works and what doesn’t work.

So, that’s why I am always keeping an eye on your comments and questions to me. But the one thing that warms my heart more than anything are the success stories!

Not just because I helped people get back together but I can learn so much from them.

Anyways, one trend that I began to notice with a lot of my success stories was the fact that the women who ended up succeeding were actually completely moved on from the break up and living successful lives.

It’s sort of like it was at this point that their ex finally woke up and saw their worth.

Hell, I even did an entire podcast about this phenomenon here.

Anyways, I kept seeing this phenomenon pop up again and again so when I did an audit of my success stories last month I learned that a lot of women who had actually completely moved on from their exes were able to get him back.

It sounds counter intuitive, right?

But maybe not.

Lets turn our attention back to psychological reactance.

By moving on from an ex boyfriend completely you are indirectly saying to him,

“You cannot have me. You have lost the freedom to have me.”

Which of course as you know, will only make him want you more.

And that’s where the Frank Sinatra effect comes into play.

I want you to “move on” without moving on if that makes any sense. I want you to live an incredible life outside of your relationship with your ex.

Here are a few of my best tips for doing this.

Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You During The Frank Sinatra Effect

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you while in the midst of the Frank Sinatra Effect. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control.

When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape

There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying that you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Pretty shallow I know…

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. Anyways, I was walking with my buddy when she yelled my name and we started talking. After we were done talking we went our separate ways and I remember my buddy going,

“Dude she is sooo HOT why did you let that one slip through your fingers?”

I explained that she didn’t look like that back when I knew her but now that I saw this new and improved version I wanted her immediately.

So, I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her which was relatively easy because she liked me (or so I thought.)

Anyways, we set up a relatively simple date to go on at a restaurant. The plan was that we were going to meet there and we would probably go for a walk after that. There was just one problem.

She never showed up.

During the day of the date I had reached out to her to ask if we were still on (BIG MISTAKE) and got no response…. the hours inched closer to kickoff and I still hadn’t heard from her. I was starting to get worried so like an insecure guy I reached out to her again,

“Hey, are we on for tonight?”

No response..

It was starting to become clear that I was going to get stood up if I went to the restaurant but I figured I would give it one more try.

“Are you there?”

Again no response…

She didn’t want to go on a date with me.

Ironic, huh?

Karma I guess!

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period (which is when you should probably be in the Frank Sinatra mindset) make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much.

Just focus on the most important thing, you.

If you were to ask me what I thought one of the biggest mistakes that I see women engaging in are I would definitely have to say that becoming to obsessed with their ex is at the top of the list.

In order to truly “move on, without moving on” you can’t be too worried about what your ex is doing. You need to be worrying about what you are doing.

I haven’t talked a lot about this yet because maybe I am trying to save something for my book. but maybe I think it’s too good to leave out.

If you really want to make the most of the Frank Sinatra effect I am going to teach you an amazing strategy. Well, perhaps strategy isn’t the right word to explain this. No, I would say this is more of a philosophy.

I like to call it…

“The Holy Trinity”

(Oh, and this is not biblical at all I promise.)

You can divide the most important aspects of your life into three categories,


  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

I don’t have to explain what is comprised of the categories, do I?

Well, I will tell you what, I am just going to leave my book for that.

Basically if you want to utilize the Frank Sinatra effect to the fullest I recommend that you try to maximize these three areas of your life.

You will notice that in the graphic above there is an intersection of the three.

The intersection where all three meet.


Perhaps it’s better if I pointed to it for you,

HWR copy

What you are trying to do here is find a perfect balance between your health, wealth and relationships. By doing so you will jump up in attractiveness to your ex.

Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and work on the holy trinity for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life

You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.


B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.”

Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.

7 - PART FOUR: Jealousy Tactics

(For more in-depth information on how to use jealousy to get your ex boyfriend back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)


A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way.

It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

If you want to learn more about what you can text your ex boyfriend I recommend checking out “The Texting Bible.

Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you do not be afraid to comment in our comments section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally.

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (5,468)

  1. Aleiana - 0


    Thanks Mr. Chris for such motivational advices but I want to inform you that my boyfriend has gone to different country for further studies. We both are in different countries and eventually he has become very busy. 7-8 days ago he called me and he said he wanted a break up because he had no time for such things that he was suffering from lot of other Tension so he don’t want me as obligation upon him. He said that he wanted to live with me but he don’t want any kind of relationship with anyone. First reason of break up from him was lack of time. And another is his own priorities that he didn’t want me as her girlfriend anymore but he begged to me to be his best friend as we were before relationship. He want me to be in contact with him. I said many things to him to solve the things but he said that it is final from him. He won’t come back not even in
    future. Now about 10 days are going to be passed but no message from him n not a single from me. But he checks all my updates on whatsapp. Now what should I do? I really want him back or I want him to miss me badly.

  2. Marilyn - 0


    Hi Amor.
    I recently ended 30 day NC and messaged my boyfriend. We’ve been talking pretty well and theres no awkwardness so its pretty good. However, i heard from someone that he started having a slight interest in this other girl. Despite working to reach the UG goal, i dont know what to do now. I wont get to see him a lot and he is able to see the girl frequently because they go to the same school. How am I supposed to reattract him? Im not sure how building rapport works because it seems futile now that his heart is leaning towards another 🙁 thank you!

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      just keep building rapport with him, because focusing on the other girls is not going to help you.

  3. Louise - 0


    I have did the nc for exactly 4 weeks .
    After that we seen each other in the pub a work in and I got a text from him apologising . We have text back to each other a couple of times but all very light . What should I do now?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      after nc, you have to keep improving yourself and initiate contact to build rapport.. start with texts, then calls, then meet ups…always be the one to end the conversation at high point

  4. Hannah - 0


    Ex broke up with me 3 months after his dad died because his grief was too much, not improving, and told me he didn’t like himself while depressed and therefore couldn’t be with me because although he loves me he wasn’t being a good partner. He wants me to be able to be happy and not wait while he deals with grief..but then repeatedly cried and said he loves me now and always will love me.
    Wouldn’t no contact, moving on and being happy only reinforce his belief I’m better off without him?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      when did he exactly broke up with you?

  5. Annie - 0

    Annie and bf been month nd half dating
    He was the one chassing nd ask me out even to move in together in a week which i told him not to rush.we date till now.i was virgin.nd we were good.until 2 weeks ago went tp italy t see family nd saw his ex in a group.he was honest.we sometimes hv language issue bcs he is italian.a week ago i offered him to move in together(bcs he coud not find a roomate)& in sudden he said no and that he will think if he wants t stay alone nd mayb his family visit him.i didnt thought he want some we met 2 days ago.and he explained he was not talking bcs he was thinking.(language issue) and that we r in the beginning as trying to be a couple.i told him its ok and that i understand and tht was just an offer bcs to help him bcs either ways i stay with my cousin.he told me that mayb i have taken the relation more serious than him.i told him he was wrong but i just care much for him.i tried to explain him this bcs i didnt want him to think im needy or pushing.
    That was 7th of april..till today we didnt contact.we didnt break up.but im confussed.he said he prefer no text or call sometimes bcs of language barrier.and maybe when we meet is better.and i agreed on that.its easter and i want to gather and b with him.but if it fails ill do the NC rule.which worked with me before(with him and my ex)
    Can u help mayb a new idea? 🙂 i love him
    (He is 40 am 30)

  6. Lisa - 0


    Hi Chris and team, thanks so much for your advice. I met my ex six months ago during an exchange semester abroad and we had this special connection right from the very beginning in the first week. After one month, he told me he fell in love with me and wanted to be in an official relationship. We stayed together for the whole semester, we were on trips together, we had mostly the same friends and shared many everyday experiences by spending almost every day together, we met each others’ families. We share the same distinct taste in humor and have the same visions in life. There has always been a lot of sexual attraction, too. He hasn’t felt that comfortable around a girl since his last gf five years ago. But we also had fights – he could get a bit cold because he felt the need of more personal space and more own experiences without me whereas I’ve always wanted a lot of attention from him. He broke up a month ago, saying he is not sure whether he likes me enough to make it work and he just doesn’t want to continue (bla bla) , but he’ll always love me in a way. I went into NC right after the breakup in order to heal. He has since contacted me twice – asking me many questions because I was in his country to look at colleges without telling him (on purpose) like who I was with, how I liked his country, and that he wishes for me that I find my dream university while making inside jokes and even mentioning a funny memory of ours… I answered very politely and “in a good mood” (which I was in bc I’m not laying in bed crying over him all the time). After his 2nd contacting there was a misspelling from his side which led to a misunderstanding and a little bit anger from my side – i told him (still politely) that he can’t contact me because I’m moving on and focusing on myself and I’m not the right one for playing games. He apologized for the typing error (i told him it’s fine, no biggie) but that he respects my message. I have only contacted him once after that (sent him an article about a hobby we shared). We live in two neighboring countries and I will move abroad, probably his country, in September or February for further studies. He will come to my city in two weeks for a mutual friend’s party. He said if i don’t want him to come then he would respect that as well, and I said no it’s fine, he should come and meet the other guys as well, and we could meet up. Do you think he could reconsider being together? I don’t think he’s over me. Thank you so so much.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi LIsa,

      Hmm… the nc was broken when you responded to him.. So, since you’re still talking, that means if you want to go to the party, go.. and then decide from there if you want to restart or move on..

  7. lara - 0


    hi… i dated with him for 1month and15 days.. he lives in outside country we meet in online he saw my photo and he starts talk to me he is devorced had 1child.. afrer 15 days convesation he said he wants to marry me and i really like him the first day that i hear his voice after one month chating i told him that i igree with his idea… he said that he love me and i really love him i like the way his expression of ideas… then i invite him we meet in physicall he kissed me he told me that am prety.. then we meet 2days after that he didnt answer for my calks and texts i told hin that i loved him i dont want to loose him.. i beg him to talk to me then after 4days he came to my hotel he told me that i am smart he loves me but i am senstive he also said he lost his intrest… i hurt to much he said am a wonen i have to keep silent when a boy ignores me bla bla… then after 4days he came to my hotel again he said sorry but i didnt accept… then i came back to my country i wrote a text that i love him i miss him but he didnt answer i wait him for one week there is no answer i wrote a massege again that i lost my intrest too i dont want him any more he didnt answer this was 3weeks ago i miss him badly i didnt talk him for the last 3weeks… i wamt him i love him i am thinking about him everyday… i konw i made mistakes how can i get him back? help me please?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      even if you haven’t talked for weeks, if it’s focused in improving yourself and in posting, that’s not a no contact period.. Do you want to try proper nc?

  8. Ustart23 - 0



    So I’ve been getting mad at my boyfriend everyday for the dumbest reasons, sometimes I just let things get to me. My recent ex and I have only been with each other for almost 4 months. This past week, I got annoyed with him for something and ignored his texts and calls. Later that night I couldn’t sleep so I texted him telling him why I was mad. The purpose for this text was to avoid me from saying let’s break up. In the past, he would at least talk to me or ask me to talk to him and that worked, we were fine. But this time, after my text, he sent me a text saying I’m sorry for not making you happy and I feel like I can’t be the person you want me to be. I did not know whatelse to say so I just said yeah. Then we did not talk all day. He didn’t try to text me. I didn’t try to text him either. I usually wait for him to text me first. So the next day I told him I want my stuff, and he said he’ll drop them off.

    However, later that day , he asked me if I’m definitely sure I want everything back and I said yeah. I ended up having to get my stuff because something came up. I did get a chance to talk to him, and asked him if he really wants this to be over. He said he doesn’t know, he’s just tired of having to worry about me getting mad. I realized I was wrong. He told me he just needs to be with his friends this weekend and doesn’t want to think about anything. Before I left, he was still kissing me and saying he loves me.

    It has been 2 days, I don’t know exactly what we are. He hasn’t texted me, I am not texting him either. Does this mean he’s giving up?

  9. Raina - 0



    My boyfriend (19) and I (18) went our seperate ways about three weeks ago after a 3.5 year long relationship. He was the one who initiated the breakup. I read about the no contact rule the very same day and decided not to text nor talk to him for 4 weeks. He then texted me after 10 days to ask when we should exchange our possesions, and I wrote back that I was busy and would write back when I had the time. We have not had contact ever since. I have been actively posting on Snapchat’s ‘My story’ about hanging out with friends, visiting museums and going to the gym with a guy and so on. He, who has never before posted anything on any social media, has posted three times this past week. The posts were quite innocent, no girls in them. So I do not think he is trying to make me jealous. Moreover, my question is: Does his posts mean anything?


    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Raina,

      that’s hard to say.. especially that we don’t know him and we don’t know what he posted.. and it doesn’t matter if it means something.. What matter is how you keep improving even after nc and that you build rapport and attraction slowly.

  10. Jamesa Johnson - 0

    Jamesa Johnson

    Hello … Me and my fiance broke up a little over a month ago. We were together for 2 1/2 years. I got pregnant with our son about a month after we go together. DON’T JUDGE ME lol. When i was abojt 5 months he asked me if he could have a girl beatfriend. Of course I didn’t want that , but i wanted him to have some type of freedom to do what he feels is right. So I trusted him. At the time i was about 5 momths pregnant. One day he stays out allll night and when i called him and told him to come home he said he would when he felt like it. I packed his stuff and told him to get out. He stayes with his sister for about a week and then moved in with the bestfriend. He told me he could stay there for free and nothing was going on, but my womans intuition was telling me differently. He used her car also. He came home after about a month. The whole time we were talking and trying to fix things. Our son was born a little while after he came home. Everything was okay for a while but i always felt like he wasn’t telling me something. So asked him if he did something with her and he told me no everytime I asked. A couple momths ago i went out to have drinks with my friend and one of his friends wanted to join us. My fiance was home with our son and had unneccessary company like always which is why I left. We got wasted and went back to my friends house. Unfortunately i messed around with both of them and after the fact i knew it would crush him to tell him, but i had too. I confoded i a friend who told me that what he doesn’t know wont him him. And the feiend tells me that my ex in fact did have sex with the bestfriend he had before multiple times. I got upset because my fiance should have told me. A week has gone by since i cheated and it was eating me up on the inside. I started of by asked my ex if he cheated he told me no 20x and finally he tells me yes it was one time. He didnt tell me before because he didnt want us to break up. So since he was honest i told him about what i had done. He broke down crying. After the initial reaction we said we would get passed it. The next month we faught on and off about it. He did something else sketchy so i told him to leave. Thinking that we just neede a break. After he left he said he just wanted to co parent. First he needed time and space. Then he said we would never get back together. He is not back with his ex after 5 years who cheated on him. It was his first almost everything i guess. How could he move on so fast. I tried nc but had to for the sake of my son and it made things worst because i was broken and couldnt help myself. I want him back so bad that it hurts and i am trying to move on. I just dont know what to do about us. Our son will be 2 in a few weeks and i always thought that we could get through anything and be a happy family.

  11. Petra - 0


    Hi! Me and my boyfriend broke up 10 days ago. We had been together for 7 months. The break initiated from me. I was very angry and upset (not for a very good reason, I realized after the fight we had) and I told him I want to break up and he should come to me to take his stuff. He came very nervous and he explained me some things but in the end he left and told he doesnt want to be with me anymore. After an hour (it was 1AM) I called him to tell him I am sorry I said those things and that I didnt mean them. He didnt answer, he rejected my calls. The next day I went at his door but he didnt answer me, again I called him and he didnt answer. I began to panic and worry. Finally, when I got the chance that day to speak with him I told him I am sorry for those words, that they werent true but he kept it on his decision that he wants us to break apart, that is better this way. Anyway, 3 hours I stayed in his room but we spoke a very few words. I was sad, he was trying to focus on what he had to do. After that I left. the next day we havent talked at all…after another day i went to see him, I was more calm and I told him that I am still sure that I want to be with him and that those words werent true. he said he is still on his decision of us remaining separated. So I left. The next day I contacted him to give him his stuff because I was leaving town for a period. He was very curious where I am leaving and if I leave permanently…I told him that is only for a while. I asked him if he wants to tell me something and he told me `i am sorry I made you suffering, I hope you will meet someone who accomplishes your needs`. I told him that I really wanted to be with him and it wasn`t because of loneliness. The truth is that we had some fights while together. Sometimes we were very happy, sometimes we had fights mainly because of me. I am in stressful period and all I could do was to free my nerves on him, which it wasnt wise at all. Sometimes I had my right when I told him that he has to change some things. ANd I noticed that he was trying to improve them and I was happy. Anyway, is has been a week since we havent talked face to face. we met these days by chance because we live in the same area but it was only a `hi` and nothing more. I remembered that when we were together he told me he is happy with me and that he feels that I exagerate when I am angry at him because his attitude towards me is not so bad. This is true. I liked many things about him but also there were things that he should try to change.
    There is any chance for us to get back together? I have to add that I am 28 and he is 21.

    • Petra - 0


      Thank you very much for you being there! I would appreciate a lot some advice!

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Petra,

      that’s good that you’re in nc.
      but you have to be active in improving yourself during and after it. Do you want to try the advice above?

    • Petra - 0


      Thank you so much for answering! In the present moment the „no contact rule” is what I am doing, somehow forced by the circumstances. A week ago was the last time when I texted him and also explained some things about the fact that I wanted to be with him. But no reply from him. I dont have the energy to focus too much on this problem if I dont see any effort from him. He also hurt me with something important (not cheating; fortunately it was trust between us) but I chosed to keep the relationship and hope he will try to change that habit. It seems he doesnt trust me anymore or I dont know. He is afraid I will act desperately and say wrong words again or who knows! The last explanation I had was that the relationship is not working, he cannot fulfill my needs and he has to focus on the professional life. I have to mention that he seems a bit workaholic and he always put me on the second place after his professional development.
      What do you think about my situation?
      Thank you very much!

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      if he’s afraid that you’ll act desperate, then all the more reason that you should be active in your activities

    • Petra - 0


      Thank you so much for your answer and being there for us!
      Sorry, but I didnt understand what you said in your first reply by „trying the advice above”. May you please tell me what you are refering to? Still in no contact phase. All I feel is confusion. I mean, yes, I really cared about him (for sure I still do) and I am so sorry for saying those things to him but he seemed so decided that we are better this way…probably saying that I want us to break apart was because I didnt get enough of what I want from the relationship, and put together with my insecurity moments resulted in me telling him awful things. Yeah, I struggle to accept I told him those words and try to be aware I have to improve myself. Somehow I am thinking that he also upset me a few times with a serious thing (deal-breaker for me in a relationship) and I chosed to trust him that he will change over time. There are many things to take into account when it comes to the idea of getting back together…will it work the second time? Sometimes I feel the best is to move on and work to become better in many aspects of my life, but I still remember the good things that our relationship had. What do you think from what I related here? Do you think there are any chances to get back together?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Oh, I mean the strategy and the tactics that Chris wrote above. There’s still a chance.. try the tactics above and focus in improving yourself.

    • Petra - 0


      Unfortunately I failed at NC and I contacted my ex two days ago to speak in person. I wanted to tell him that I assume my reaction that led that day to our break-up and I wanted him to know that I wasnt staying with him out of loneliness but because I wanted to be with him. But he continue to say that he still believes that our relationship wasnt working, that I was unhappy with him. We had some issues…he was refusing me a couple of times to have sex because he was busy but during this time he was watching porn. I trusted him and I know he wouldnt cheat on me but that attitude was very painful. Probably this is one of the reasons I was so nervous sometimes because continuously I had the impression that the relationship is not so important for him and he puts first the professional and personal development. And for this he was prepared to give up also on having sex, because this required time and loss of focus. I know he is very good in controlling his emotions and I dont think he will have second thoughts about our relationship. At least not very soon. This is how I feel. In my opinion there were some issues but which could have been solved if both of us wanted this, but it seems it was just me. I know he cared about me but he never told me he loves me. I told him once and his response was that he appreciates this. In the last month we had many fights and he said that things were getting worse and worse. I felt that I become more nervous but in the same time I was aware is not only because of him but because I am in a stressful period. But anyway he didnt come with the decision that is not working, it was something he said during a fight when I reacted impulsively and I told him I want to break up with him. So my guess is that he took a decision on nerves and he kept this decision out of stubborness. What do you think based on what I told you? Thank you!

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      if he’s stubborn , then all the more that you should restart nc stick to improving yourself.. and dont sleep with him if you’re not together

    • Petra - 0


      I remembered he also told this last time that he doesnt blame for anything and I should try not to focus on the past. I dont understand why suddenly after that fight he decided is not working. There were days (while still together) when he told me that he thinks that he doesnt behave so bad with me and my moods (when I always find something to be upset about) are because of my stressful period (I am looking for a job and I have to finish my studies). Is it possible for him to realize later he didnt mean the things he said when we broke up?… I have read a conversation between Chris and a lady, Kelly, and this gave me some strength to keep NC and improve myself but also on how to approach later the situation from a position of strength. How much time do you advice me to keep it? Unfortunately I cannot avoid person contact because we often meet at the same students canteen, but usually only a ‘hi’ or ‘how are you?’. We live in buildings that are next to each other.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      do at least 30 days, be active in improving yourself and if he initiates just reply politely short and direct.

    • Petra - 0


      Do you mean if he initiates during the nc should I answer him? Or if he greets me with the occasion of Easter? It’s been a week since I am in nc.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Sorry, I mean if he initiates in person because you can’t just be rude and pretend that you don’t hear nor see him.. but in text, don’t reply.

  12. Swtluv - 0


    A week ago my ex broke up with me. His reasons were because I deserved someone better who will take me out and give me the attention. He said he loves me very much and that’s why he has to let me go. He also stated that his love for me is like a best friend type and That we will still keep in touch and he can still come over and visit me and my family. However, Idk if the result of the breakup was due to stress. Back in February he told me that he was sorry for being a bad bf because he doesn’t take me out and all due to school. He said school has been challenging for him (he has a year and a half left and is majoring in Public Health). A few days after that he said he didn’t feel like he was where he should be in his life. That he has so many thoughts and he feels disconnected with everyone and has been isolating himself including me. One day I showed up to his place and he looked stressed out. He said he had been playing catch up with school that’s why he has not be texting me or calling me since he’s been very busy. That he cannot juggle school and everything else at the same time. And he said he wasn’t going anywhere. Well the following week we spent time together and went on a date. Two days after that I texted him and since he didn’t reply back I got mad at him. I realized I should have backed off, but it’s now too late for a few days after that he broke up with me. I know he is not good with stress and doesn’t know how to handle things when stressed. I feel bad cause I feel like I put on more pressure on him which caused the break up. I don’t know if the ages matter but he’s 27 and I’m 33. Is there any advice that I can get in getting him back? If there’s even a chance? We’ve been together for 4 years. Two days after breakup he called me to ask me how I was doing? And that was it. I texted him this past sunday and his response was short. I feel so hurt and that I pushed him away completely.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Swtluv,

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

    • Swtluv - 0


      Do you think that would help my situation?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      yes, it can help increase your chances.

  13. CT - 0


    Oops, I didn’t realize that you had to wait for moderation before the comment posts so I copied and pasted my comment and submitted it a few times (I think twice on here and once on a different article), can you remove the extras and only keep the one w/ my initials for my name.


    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi CT,

      I erased your previous bc for yourself not more for him
      do at least 30 and start the count after active in improving yourself and in posting in social media

  14. Jessica - 0


    My boyfriend broke up with me because he says he likes another girl. He doesn’t talk to this girl in person and the only text sometimes but he insists he had feelings for her. I was obviously hurt by this as I felt I wasn’t enough for him so I asked him to puck between me or her. He told me he wanted both of us, that she’s his friend and nothing more. He told me he wanted to sort things out with me and his feelings for the other girl will stop. But I wanted him to pick between her or me so then he decided suddenly we were to ‘go on a break’. He said he didn’t want to be in a relationship when he had feelings for two people after telling me he wanted to sort things out a few minutes earlier. Prior to this everyday he told me he loved me so much even arguing that he loved me more than I loved him. We were going out six months. When I ask him what a ‘break’ means he says just no relationship and I said well are we going to get back together and he says he doesn’t know. I don’t feel this is fair on me as I don’t know whether I should start moving on or not as I love him so much I can’t let him go anyways. He still says he has strong feelings for me he just doesn’t love me anymore. He said he started to feel all these things two days ago. I don’t know what to think or what to do about the whole situation as I am really confused as to how this came about as I thought he really loved me and I meant a lot to him. I don’t know whether this story about liking this other girl is just an excuse to break up with me or what’s going on. I go to school with him. He’s in my class which makes it even harder as I can’t avoid him. The girl is in the year below us, she’s my neighbour I’ve known her for years. I would really appreciate some advice.

  15. Marie - 0


    Hi Amor,

    We broke up around a month ago, remained in contact for awhile before i decided to do NC. Its been going on for around 11 days so far but my friend told me that he recently deleted all his photos of me on instagram. He follows me on my account and ive been posting actively and ive also been working towards the ungettable girl standard. However, does the fact that he deleted all the pictures recently mean he has completely moved on? Before this he was always caring and always told me how much he cared about me deeply. I just want to know if i still have a chance.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Marie

      nope, more probably it’s because it hurts to see them..

  16. Yohojami - 0


    Hi… im jhoy…
    me and my bf for more than 2years broke up yesterday (actually its the 2nd time, coz last year we broke up also but got back after 4 months), at first im the one who asked for space coz i feel neglected and appreciated this fast few days, but he refused. But after few fights, arguments, and forcing him to fix the problem, the break up comes from him. He said maybe its the best way for now, he said maybe we really cant fix things anymore, at first ofcourse i cant accept it, i even paniced, cried. But when the converstation gets longer when he keeps on insisting it and saying things like ” i wish you happiness, i wish the best for you and i hope you could forgive me” words, i aggreed even i dont want coz i almost begged but still insist coz he said he is saving from being hurt again. After that break up phone call, we didnt talk or chat again… i didnt do anymove, same as him… but the day after, i found out that he deactivated his fb(that he only made so we can do video calls when he is in his hometown), he even deleted me and my friends on his snap. Unlike on our first break up where i bugged him 167 calls and lots of messages, now im really stopping myself to contact him and talking to him so he will see that im not the same before crawling for him to come back. Do you think there is still a chance that we will be back together?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Yohojami,
      yes, there is a chance especially if you’re doing the no contact rule now

  17. Sam - 0


    My boyfriend and I had only been dating for 4 months but it was a relationship and feeling we had both never experienced before. we were so perfect for one another and made eachother so happy that things moved pretty quickly. However, everything we talked about there was a mutual understanding of how important and how scary these things were. He told me every day how much he loved me and misses me when we’re not together and we even talked about getting married and having kids very seriously. He told me over and over again how much he wanted to do life with me and how he was so scared to lose me and that he loved me so much. He has trust issues from his previous relationship which has always causes slight jealousy and assumptions that he was aware he was making and aware that it was effecting things and taking away from the good in our relationship. I love this man so much and would literally do anything to be with him. He came and stayed at my apartment for 4 days and things were amazing. just like always. and then he left on wednesday and messaged me and called me every day after that saying how much he loves me and misses me. everything seemed fine. and then out of nowhere on sunday he broke up with me and was a complete asshole about it. It was as if he didn’t care at all. Never did. He said the trust issues were bothering him and he hates the long distance and he just broke up with me and deleted and blocked me off of everything before i could even say anything. the day he broke up with me he facetimed me a bunch of times but then kept hanging up and calling back. and then 2 days after we broke up he did the same thing and would unblock me but then reblock me and keep doing the same thing over and over again on instagram and fb and stuff. I know it is impossible for him to not care at all anymore even if that’s what he is saying becasue things were so good and we loved eachother so much. we hated being apart. do you think if i do the no contact rule that theres any chance he’ll realize he made an irrational decision and miss me and we could get back together ?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sam,

      yes, it can help increase your chances..

  18. Sadaf - 0


    My bf broke up wid me last month , before the broke up every thing was fine he always msg me a lot care about me and he was regularly calling me it was fine we love each other .. but in Jan I was at home and very busy I couldn’t be able to give him time so after I came back from home I was like normal but he was not he was ignoring me after some day I asked him why are you ignoring me he said pls leave me go away from life I don’t want this relationship… I tried to convince him but nothing happened.. then on after a week it was my birthday so again he made me feel special by sending me a big rose bouquet.. I msg him to thank but again he replied we can not be together and pls don’t msg me . After some time I went on travel for 6-7 days he was worried that time one of our common friend told me . Now still he is not talking to me now he blocked me . Please help me what should I do know to get everything normal and to get him back .

  19. Michelle - 0


    My bf broke up with me last night citing the relationship wasn’t good for long term. We fight too much. Says he still loves me even cried hard. Also, he needs to work on himself he said. He has been through several job losses in our three years living together and is in a lot of debt. He’s very much into being an entrepreneur. A lot of his self worth is tied into how he’s doing financially. Wants to start a new business and I feel he believes the time he spends with me would be better utilized by working on a new business. I’ve always been very supportive of his work. But since he has decided we aren’t working he feels he might as well end it and do the business. He’s 55 and I’m 49. Says he’s doing me a favor. Can I get him back? We live do I deal with all that?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Michele,

      did you try the advice above?

    • Michelle - 0


      Yes, no contact is almost over but I’m fearing super resistance because he deems himself “stronger than most people because they never leave an unhappy relationship”.. He tends to be very stubborn and has a bit bigger ego.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      don’t think about that.. because if you don’t initiate, then nothing will happen.

  20. Meggie - 0


    My ex and I have been dating for 4 and a half years, we were best friends for 4 years before then. Our relationship was great and we really love each other. He broke up with me about 2 weeks ago because he depressed. He says that he still loves me and just wants me to be happy. He also says that he still wants to be my friend and go out to dinner and movies together. He also keeps texting me and trying to pretend everything is normal. I want to be there for him with his depression but I know that I shouldn’t be talking to him if it hurts me. I’m just afraid that he wont talk to anyone else about his depression and I’m not sure what to do.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Meggie,

      if he’s not seeing a therapist he should, his family should know too.. just be honest with him that even though you love him, it’s not healthy for you to keep talking to him and then start nc..

      because if you keep talking to him, it’s like your empowering his depression that he can friendzone you and use you as an emotional crutch because of it..

  21. Ray - 0


    on the last Saturday I had a fight with my ex and now is boyfriend again on the issue of the long and repeated, he said he was tired and fed up with me with a reason I still have not changed. At the same time he still dig what had happened. After the argument that the length of the text sent by sms, he did not reply to the sms by frequently as usual. Should I have sent 3 4 sms and he only replied succinctly. What should I do? I’m confused thinking whether he want break off to me again or he sulking? help me

  22. Joy - 0


    My boyfriend of 3 and a half months just broke up with me on Monday after a couple of weeks of waining contact.
    We met online, met in person the following week, and from the moment we met our relationship took off like a rocket. He was new to town, staying with family while he looked for a job and his own place. official d for hours a day, good morning messages, good night wishes, and flirty AND intelligent conversations. This was only the second relationship both of us, and we expressed our insecurities for lack of experience rightup front. Our physical chemistry was incredible and we had the same kind of crude humor; we just clicked. The relationship continued to progress very fast, and by the 3rd week of knowing each other he was spending Christmas dinner with my family. I began to worry that we were moving to fast seeing as how I was one of the few people he even knew in town that he could probably count on one hand, but alas I let it continue because I was so smitten.
    A couple of weeks later, he got a great paying job and a new place all in the same week. Our relationship moral was high, and he asked me to make our relationship official to family and friends; so we did. He began to work long hours, and was often on call because they were short staffed. Whenever we found the time to be together, i would notice that he seemed distracted, tired, and distant. Fast forward another couple of weeks, and I notice that his communication began to thin out. He no longer reached out daily, and if I did so myself, he would engage with me to a point; usually only long enough to complain about his long work hours. Then the final lapse came when I didn’t hear from or see him for almost a week.
    We met for coffee, talked for awhile about our hectic schedules, then he dropped the bomb that he didn’t feel that he had the time to make the relationship a priority any longer. He felt stressed out because he was always on call and didnt want me to be marginalized because. We parted ways because I had to return to work, but I was taken aback because our relationship had been nothing but progressive and positive up until this point.
    I think we might have moved too quickly, or he might have felt the draw of the chase had ended because I was so available to him while he didn’t know anyone else in in town. We texted a little that night where he sent me 13 rapid fire texts apologizing, giving me compliments, and offering to let me vent. I told him it was probably for the best that we just leave it alone. I deleted him as a friend on FB and changed my status immediately because obviously I was hurt. He still follows my other social media accounts but I’ve temporarily removed them from my phone because the urge to spy was consuming all of my time.
    Do you think he just needs space? Should I initiate the NC rule and is there a chance that he could miss me and come back?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Joy,

      how are you now? Yeah, I think you should try nc but just do 21 days..It looks like he’s overwhelmed..

    • Joy - 0


      I am doing much better than I was immediately after it happened, but I still find it hard not having that direct connection to him every day as a friend. We didn’t end on bad terms by any means, but I was still very hurt when it happened. I am trying to focus on myself and my busy schedule. My schedule is actually just as busy as his at the moment while I finish up my last semester of college, but I miss having his friendship as a release to look forward to. Today is day 16 of NC and he has continued to follow my other social media accounts and watches all of my snaps on snapchat. After 21 days, what is the best way to reestablish contact?

    • Chris Seiter - 4
  23. Julie - 0


    Heyy, i have been in a relationship for 2 years now. And i get upset on silly things at times and end up over reacting but then also I don’t have this ego thing for saving our relationship. Our relationship has always affected his studies and now he is fed up. But sometimes when i text him he just too normal like how it used to be back then but in the end he is firm on his decision. I tried helping him in studies and all. We were perfect you know he introduced me to his family friends and stuff and we faced all the odds and he is just going he has nothing left for me and i have tried not talking to him but in the end after few days i end up texting him. I really need help. Please email me I would really appreciate that

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Julie,

      you can try to email here:
      do you want to try the no contact rule?

  24. Leah - 0


    Me and my boyfriend had a minor argument in December but it led to us spending a few days apart without speaking at all, we met up to talk and he said that he loves me but he liked being on his own over those few days. We were on and off for about a month as he was unsure if he wanted to be together or apart, I pretty much begged him to not end it and we were both emotional but in the end he said he’s sorry but he thinks we should break up. It’s been 2 months now since he said that and we’ve still spoke almost every day the longest we haven’t spoke is 6 days which was a one off and we met once 6 weeks ago and we ended up having sex. He still tells me he loves me and misses me but just wants to be on his own for now. We were together about 20 months and he cheated on me once but we managed to get past that then this break up came out of no where, I got drunk a couple of nights ago and messaged him saying he broke my heart and I didn’t deserve any of this and so on and now he’s been acting off with me since then and said he’s going to back off.

    Do you think there’s a chance we will get back together?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi leah,

      there can be a chance because you haven’t actually stopped talking. You’re just there.. are you going to do the no contact rule?

    • Leah - 0


      Yes that’s what I was thinking if you think that’s the best next step now?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      yes, it is.. 🙂

  25. Jacky - 0


    I broke up with him using text message he did not respond,will I have him back ?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Jacky,

      When and why did you break up with him? how long was the relationship?

  26. clara - 0


    Now i in the relationship with my ex after a year of broke off, but he was still in a relationship with his harpy as scandal but only for sex. Both of them admitted their relationship is just for sex addiction. What should I do? just let them do until feel boring or I break up with him?

  27. Louise - 0


    My ex and I broke up 6 days ago. We haven’t spoken besides two times where we texted and had to sort some practical things out, where I had to pick up my stuff while he was at work. It was mostly his decision, but we ended it as good friends, even though we were both sad and he was also crying a lot. But he was confused why he was together with me, and afraid he couldn’t make me happy because he is very busy and started to prioritizing other things above me.
    Now there is a party on friday we’re both invited to, where there will be a lot of mutual friends. Before we broke up we were both going – but is a good or bad decision to still go to the party? It’s a pretty big party, so I can “get out of the way” if necessary / avoid talking to him and talk to many other people. I kind of want to go if he does, and I don’t want him to think I’m just being sad at home. I’m just afraid that I’ll get sad or jealous, or the NC won’t work if we’ll see each other and quickly say hi. But then again, if I manage to pull myself together and “pretend” to be having a good time without over-doing it, then maybe it would work out? What do u think?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Louise

      go, use it to your advantage. Just don’t initiate contact and don’t initiate relationship talk.

  28. Sarah - 0



    This is such a great article and spend and hour read it carefully.

    I had been dating with my ex for 2 years. After brake up he said we had a chance of getting back together but he wants to be alone. i think he has a girl he likes but when I ask he said he said he doesn’t want to date that girl. He mentioned that that girl isn’t attractive. But he date her before she dated me. She is much older than him, maybe 15-20 years older than him.

    We broke up because I was sick and was too drama inlast six months. I went to his house uninvited while he was with that girl. He was so mad and didn’t open the door. He yelled at me in front of that girl. Since he said he doesn’t want to see me and date me anymore. There is no chance.

    After he said he didn’t want to see me, i kept texting and calling him, asked him if I could see him or any chance that we can get back together. He denied. And said no. But every time when I text him that I will stop calling him and leave him alone, he called me back asking what I want. I asked him a chance and he said no.

    Last night, we ran to each other at a bar, he was drunk. He came to me, said sorry that he was mean and mad on me. Before I left a bar, he hug me tight and said I am important to him. But when I said, I hope we could get back together. He said nothing then I said, ok I understand it takes time.

    Today is the first day i start NC rule. But next Sunday, I will take his parents to have dinner for his mom birthday. We planned before we broke up broke up. And he said yesterday that he will come. We will go to the restaurant he likes.

    What should I do when i see him
    With his parents and after that? I

    Thank you very much for any advice.


    • Sarah - 0


      He said to be that I am the nicest person he has ever met and also said that to his mom. He said I had done things that no one had done it before. He put a lot of effort on our relationship butbin last six months, i was so clingy and needy from healt problem.

      Thank you very much.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      I think you need to start the count after the dinner, but take this week as practice for no contact period and don’t initiate contact. Check the link below:
      You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That

    • Sarah - 0


      I think after dinner, i will apologize for being needy and clingy. And told him that he was a great boyfriend. However i will say that I accept the brake up and hope he will forgive me. I still have a feeling that he cares as every time I call, he usually call back. But he said he needs time and space for a while. And he didn’t say no of going out.

      How can I order a book ? And which one is good for my situation ?

      Thanks so much. I will update !

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Go for the exboyfriend recovery premium because it includes access to a private group that Chris and Jennifer gives advise too, along with other private members.

  29. Beth - 0


    My ex and I broke up one month ago . I miss him a lot and really feel like I have a chance of getting him back . My gut tells me I do . I plan on starting the NC today . We broke up because we had problems and I kept lying to him . I would tell him I would buy him this and that . An I wouldn’t get it . I done see what I lost and its hurts . We been dealing with each other since 2015 . He doesn’t have a girlfriend yet . I plan on dropping these shoes off I bought for him because he wants them and I was supposed to bring them weeks ago . An I didn’t . But I plan on dropping them off at his job not his house because of the NC . Give them to his coworker or boss to have them give to him . I know I can fix what I had but I just gotta show him I’m not finna be the same girl I was that caused me to loose him . Help ? What should I do ?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Beth,

      that means breaking the nc rule.. if you broke up a month ago, why didn’t you give it during the last month?

  30. BR - 0


    Hey, i have one question what to do. How many of no contact day should i have. My story.. I have two dates with guy..on first date we were on dinner, and we were talking for three hours and then restaurant closed 🙂 than he folow me to my apartment, kiss me on my check and then he said good night, next day he invited me on another date, not day after but two days after.. We were at his apartment cooking together dinner and talking for about 6 hours..we have a lot in common. We also kissed a lot.. He drove me home and told me that he was having a great night with me. But he also told me that he was going for trip for one month on vacation..alone… I understand and he told me that we will stay in touch..and we did..he was sent me a lot of pictures of what he was doing there. And then when he came come he told me that he came home. But he did not tell me immediately that he want to see me..every day he had sport or hanging with friends..and then he invited me on another date at him..he was very tired, i can saw that he was having jet we were talking and then i went home. He hug me and kiss me. But i felt that something is wrong, he seemed distance to me. After that date he told me that he need some days to deal with his tireness. I alowed him, and i did not call him ot text him for about 4 days and then i text him how he was doing..we became distanted, but anyway
    He invited me on 4 date and we met at his apartment. And no, it has nothing to do with sex..anyway..we were talkinh and then suddrnly he told me that he feelt distanced to me and that he is not thinking soo much on me like he wish he was..he told me that he thinks that the resos whas in his trip, because he was there alone.. I said thank you to him..because not many man is like him. Often they ignored you and really do not know what happened, so i really appreciate that,that he was honest and look me in the eyes…i saw that he was a lot looking in my eyes, and look me even if i am not looking at him..i asked him, why are you looking me and he answered that but you are looking at me with those eyes so nice. I guess, he thought that i will be terrible and angry, and i was not..i was polite and smiling at him..Than we said goodbye..we were in a huging position for about 3 minutes, he kissed ne on the cheeck, above the head and when a looked at him, meanwhile we were huging,he kissed me on the lips..and then I went. I was sad,because i really like him. Next day i wrote him a text.. That i respect his decision, but that I am a fighter and that i thing that maybe sometimes we are too rushy in naking decisions..I text him also, what i liked about him, and that before trip we have that sparkle, and maybe if we have each other a chance,we can get this sparkle back if he is also for that. I also adked him, if he would like to go on the trip for one day,next weekend. Because maybe if we were all day together we can get this sparkle back..He replied that he agrees with me, and that he made this decisions for him, and that the next weekend for now is too early for tripa for one day or two..but that he would love to hang out with me sometimes and then we will see how it would be… I text him back that is nice to hear this, and thank you for your answer and i sent him picture of me, from carneval..and he replied that i am really cute on this sent me back some skiing picture of him..and then a sent that he should have a great day and then i said goodbye and good night. So my question is..should i start a NC? For how many days? Or should I just wait for some days and then i tried with text method on you site? If i started NC, it is possible that he will forget me? Because we have only for dates, two really good and other not so much after his trip

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Br,

      in how many months did those 4 dates occur?

    • BR - 0


      Hey, two dates were between 10 and 16 janaury, than on 19 he went on trip for 1 month. And came back on february 14 and two days after we had our third date and one week later our four date..

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      I think you should only do 21 days.. Make the most of it. Be very active in improving yourself and in posting in social media

    • BR - 0


      Tnx! But what if he is not on any of social media? He really is not 🙂

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      There’s a high he would be curious on why you’ have not been texting anymore. So keep being in active. And if not now, he will be curious once you start building rapport. He has to see something in there.

  31. Andrea - 0


    My ex and I broke up 10 days ago. He says he wants to be friends but I told him I wasn’t sure about it. I was angry and told him I didn’t want to know anything about him. He said he was going to give me my space and that after some time he would contact me. We haven’t talk since that day and I’m thinking about using the no contact rule. My question is: if he contacts me before a month, I shouldn’t reply? And after a month should I contact him?

  32. Sofia - 0


    Hello. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. Technically, I wanted to break up first and then he just agreed. Before he always tried to convince not to (and I agreed not to break up). We are in long distance relationship until September. We were actually. So after he broke up with me I begged him to come back, but he said that he wants to focus on his study and career right now (university, he worries about admission in there) .He said that he still like me and misses me but he doesn’t want to date me anymore, or anyone else. He feels like he doesn’t want to care about anyone now, he wants to focus on his goals. We are talking right now as a good friends (but I always text him first). He still says that we still may have chance together, but not now and he doesn’t want me to wait for him. But I miss him a lot and it’s so difficult to talk as friends with him. Should I wait until September and meet him face to face ? But what if he will not like me at that time? I’m so confused what to do, how to make him miss me a lot and text me first. I thought about no contact rule, but after our break up already passed 2 weeks. Will it still work?
    We had been dating for almost 7 months and we didn’t have such big conflicts or break up.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sofia,

      you’re friendzoned.. do you want to try the no contact rule?

  33. lina - 0


    Me and my ex boyfriend were tgt for 10+ months but he told me he had shared so many happy memories tgt. He told me he had a great relationship with me. We were so good till even days before he officially broke up with me. It came as a really huge surprise.. more like a huge blow.

    My ex broke up with me a week plus ago just before valentines. Initially he tried telling me a lot of excuses like money issues and how “i took him for granted” sometimes and eventually he lost his feelings for me. but all these aren’t the reasons.. maybe a little for the money issue. Which i compromised of course, they were minor issues. And of course being the shocked and upset girl i was, i pleaded immediately.. even till one week later. He was still determined to breakup. But at least i got the answers towards the end..

    He finally told me that the reason was his religious beliefs. Relatives from both of his parents’ families side told him that we wouldn’t end up well (they predicted we would eventually argue and break up). He told me that he had “seen things over the years that made him believe all those sayings.” He said he is a coward who would give up the relationship so easily. No matter how much I pleaded with him to get him back over that week, and tried to convince him that I would take him back without any blames and overcome whatever together, he just kept saying no, his mind is fixed, and begged me to move on myself instead. Even to the point of telling me eventually that “he doesn’t love me as much as I think”, and “I’m not the girl he wants to marry.”

    I stopped persuading him a few days ago. He still contacted me but only for school issues (we are in the same class with two more lessons left and doing the same project but submitting by this week end.) It hurts having to talk to him and he used to sometimes brushed it away with school stuff (after clarifying the break up with me) and now just strictly school stuff.. but it would be no more text contact after the project ends in a few days more.

    He told me he “wasted the chance with me” when he broke up with me a week ago but he still said I misintepretated (I thought he wanted a second chance) and continued to rejecte me (heartlessly) even when I said I don’t blame him and would have him back. It’s highly likely that no matter what I do, he wouldn’t come back again right? He’s really fixated on the idea. Even if i begged him or go ahead with the ‘no contact’ for 4 weeks, he still wouldn’t. Even if he comes back, he told me it would just be a half hearted person. And especially with that mindset of the superstitious beliefs, the relationship will be bound to fail since he is quite superstitious…

    Why do guys’ love fade after the honeymoon stage and they dont bother to try and salvage?

    The woman may try to move on, but there would always be this fear of falling in love for her from now on. They fear falling so deeply in love with someone and investing their life into the man’s, only to discover the man does not feel the same way about the woman. It’s how she dies while breathing and no matter how hard she trys, her life may be back to ‘normal’ but she can never recover from that. The scariest part is not knowing whether you are falling for the wrong person. How sweet, kind or understanding he is or how compatible you both seem to be, you just can’t invest deeply anymore.

  34. Anne - 0


    Hello. Well my history is complicated. I was with a guy for 7 months. After this his friends made him think that i was not worth it and he chaleated on me,doing a threesom . I was spying his phone and i let him know this. We broke up 2 weeks,we got together back,and stayed for another month. Than he left me. After 2 months he came back to me telling me that he missed me and that he loves me. We decided to get back together since i had feelings for him too. We stayed for two months together and 1 week ago he started to tell me that he is not feeling good,that we are fighting a lot,that he is a man who likes a lot of woman (and he is not,just that his friends make him think this) and he wanted some time coz i was chocking him with the love and affection.we stayed two days without talking and than we talked again,he was telling me that i was his oxygen etc. than i decided to met him one morning. I went and i told him i will give him space and i will not be that clingy,but he started telling that he jad decidet to brake up that he does not want to hurt me etc (but he was not sure) i was very angry so i wrote a letter to him and i went to take all my clothes . I asked him one more time if he was sure about the situation and he replayed yes(even if he looked unsure) . I gave him the letter which was full of anger and i went. Since than he has been calling and texting me for 2 days but i am not replaying. Today he stoped calling me. And i feel strange. I mean i want him back,but i want him to value me and not to be sure that i will always be there and to disrespect me.helpppp. Thinking that he will not call me again or write to me makes me go crazy

    • Anne - 0


      Ps: i have to say that i was a doormate and he could do everything to me coz i was the onlyone begging to him and he was playing with my mind all the time,for 1 year and 6 months today.. the other problem is that his mum and his friends doesnt like me coz he told them that i was spying his phone. And he is affected a lot of what their friends say to him or his mum says to him. Thnx in advance

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Anne,

      For me you shouldn’t go back to somebody like that.. it’s an unhealthy relationship, it’s toxic.. check this:
      EBR 056: My Ex Boyfriend Cheated On Me Multiple Times… What Do I Do?

  35. Alice - 0


    I had been seeing a guy I met on a dating site for about a month. We both started off very cautious as we’d both been hurt a lot in the past but he would do and say things that showed he was very eager like remembering every tiny detail of what I said, sending me sweet messages throughout every day, a surprise visit on valentine’s day, wanting to spend time together frequently, very nice cuddling, telling me I was beautiful and special, wanting to share news and interests, staying up until 6am having deep conversations about anything and everything. I felt like we really built a connection instead of having sparks instantly. He was the first man I’ve dated that actually respected me and made me feel like I was worth something. I eventually started to open up and feel for him in response to what he was doing and saying but I was quite scared. I guess i could say he was coming on quite strong for wanting to “go slow”.

    I felt it was appropriate to bring up where we might go with this in the future and he decided to tell me then that he’d been lying about his ex. He told me she’d reappeared and hurt him greatly 6 months before but it turns out it was a only month before. He told me he wasn’t ready for anything serious and didn’t want to hurt me as he knows how much I’ve been hurt in the past so decided to end things. We didn’t have sex at any point.

    I really saw potential with him, we seemed incredibly compatible and had a great time every date. I’m wondering what the next step should be now? Obviously I want him back but that’s not what he wants at the moment, or possibly ever depending on if he was being honest with me. I let him know that if circumstances change in the future and he wants to try again (and I’m available) I’d consider giving things another go. He seemed to really want to stay friends though. Should I just go into NC indefinitely until he contacts me? Thanks for reading!

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Alice,

      I think the first mistake is telling him you’re available if he changes his mind.. It’s like saying you’re always available.. And of course he would want to be friends, that’s common for exes. I think you’re his rebound, and now his trying to friendzone you.. So, it will be a second mistake if you stay friends with him now. Check this one:
      EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

  36. Cansas B - 0

    Cansas B

    My boyfriend just broke up with me for the second time in a year. He said “it’s for the best, U don’t see it now but U will eventually”, “it’s not because I don’t love you, care for you, want to be with you or think your not attractive” “it’s unhealthy, we fight so much” “my gut tells me we’ll go down the same path” “I have to listen to my gut” “I want you to be happy on ur own” …our relationship wasn’t horrid. I did this program the last time and it worked. I don’t want to give up on him or us. We have lacking areas but he truely is my best friend and I thought we were growing better and better. I have had my doubts about us but they were never strong enough to say goodbye. I never want to say goodbye to him. I can’t imagine my life without him in it. Right now in my life I still want him. This time around it was mutual but then I said no I don’t want it and he still did. We talked maturely and he said he has to think (although everything’s he verbally told me was about his gut telling him not to do it…makes me feel so wanted). I know he will message me in the next couple of days and say it’s for the best again. He did it the last time. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. He has such a special place in my heart and idk if I can go two months broken up like the last time and the thought of it being permanent is even worse. It’s been a roller coaster ride but I love this man with every ounce of me. I became less dependent on him and I thought we were doing well.

    • Cansas B - 0

      Cansas B

      I’m also in school now living on my own. We were only seeing eachother once or a couple times a week because we live about an hour and twenty minutes apart from my student house to his house. 35 mins from my parents to his house. He said he doesn’t want me to regret these years because they should be full of happiness etc. I think I didn’t appreciate him enough and verbally/physically show him that in order for him to think I am happy. Thinking of him being with someone else KILLS me because I thought we would end up together. Although, at the beginning I wud say “yes I can see myself marrying him” and then recently I was saying I couldn’t. But what do I do if I don’t want this to be the end for us? So many ppl walk in and out of my life and I don’t want him to be one. I hate that he thinks he knows what’s best for me. And I kept googling signs u know u should move on but I can’t say goodbye!!!! I still feel like we’re dating because it wasn’t bad!! Like I don’t understand

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Cansas B,

      The key to what he said is that, he’s tried with all of the fighting.. Maybe if he sees during and after nc that you sticked to your own routine of improving yourself, that you have your own life, he will see you differently and not the person that always fights with him.

  37. Kate - 0


    My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago. We have broken up before, about a year prior, and a couple weeks after that split, I found out I was pregnant. We didn’t get back together but we lost the baby, in which he took care of me and my other Child while I was recovering. That rekindled our intimacy towards each other and we reconciled and he moved back in. Things had their ups and downs and I battled depression for a long time during it. There were things both of us did to push each other away, and there were things both of us did to pull each other back.
    This recent break up, I confronted some negative feelings I had. He ultimately told me that he “loved me sometimes, but not all of the time.” I do not know what that means, do you?
    I was very upset hearing that and told him that was not something I could accept and that we should break up. We ended up talking some, going to bed and having sex. The next morning was normal, playing with my son and having fun together. We had a date planned that night so my parents picked up my son for the night. We had passionate sex after he left and we took a nap. When we woke up, I asked if he was still wanting to go out. He hesitated and asked if I wanted to go out. I replied that I did. He didn’t really say anything after that so I told him if he wasn’t going to take me out, I was going to go out on my own. While I started getting ready, he came in the bathroom and he was dressed. I asked him if he was leaving and he said “yeah, I guess.” All I said was “ok, then,” and continued to get ready.
    He took all of his belongings, save for a few movies and books and didn’t leave his key to our apt. As he left, he gave me $100 and said that was to help pay for bills for the rest of the month. I told him I didn’t want his pity money, but he left it anyways. I have a broken door and he said he would fix it later on. We haven’t spoken since, I’m implying the NC rule. He hasn’t contacted me, either. I think I want him back, because I do love him and we talked about marriage and kids. My son loves him very much too. We had been together for almost 2 years, lived together for about 1.5 years of it.
    It has been a week today. If he doesn’t contact me before 30 days, should I go ahead and contact him?
    And what the hell does it mean when he says he “loves me sometimes?!”
    I am using this time to improve myself. Reading these articles, working out, eating healthy, working on myself as a person such as reading and listening to things to help me be a better listener, communicator, not being a negative or passive aggressive person (which I can be.)
    Advice please! 🙂

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kate,

      maybe what he meant is that he doesn’t feel as strongly in love with you at some times compared to other times.. it can also mean, he finds somethings that you do or about you that he doesn’t like or it can mean he’s feelings are fading.. Yes, you can initiate contact after nc.. I think there’s still a chance because it looked like he just left out of pride.

  38. V - 0


    So, a few months ago, maybe Aug-Sept 2016? I asked Amor about going NC on my ex who was suffering from depression. He messaged me on recently midnight the 15th Feb: “how are you doing, to be honest I miss you”. To which I answered the day later “Im feeling fantastic. I miss you too.” Was that a stupid move? I am being honest. Haven’t heard back from him. Its one on those things where Im not sure if the program would work when depression is the culprit. Any advice?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI V,

      nope, that’s not a bad move.. What happened after that?

    • V - 0


      A few days later my grandmother told me my ex said ‘Hello Baba’ (gran) while passing by her in a club. Thats all that’s happened so far. I posted a bunch of photos on Facebook of my latest trip overseas. So just being my active self. He’s not on there, but all his friends are. Have no nibbles.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      well, at least he’s slowly reconnecting

  39. KAM - 0


    I dated a man for four months. He was the one to say he wanted me to be his girlfriend. He was the first one to say I love you (after a month) Everything about us was great, we always had a great time together, we rarely disagreed, we preferred a lot of the same things. During the holidays I became very anxious and starting questioning his feelings for me which was extremely frustrating for him as time went on. I was also interviewing for a new position at work and trying to be the perfect girlfriend and friend and daughter and employee during the holidays while struggling financially and trying to afford Christmas. Needless to say I was stressed! We had our first big fight a few days after the new year. This created even more doubt in his feelings for me. In the following weeks my doubt caused more friction and we dealt with an emergency intervention for his alcoholic roommate. Throughout this time he assured me that we would work together to get through this and that he loved me. We had talked about marriage and he even got a second job to help save for a ring. He was talking about how his house would change and be rearranged when I moved in, asking where I thought things should go and where a tv would fit in the room and what not. I called him one morning feeling extremely uneasy and he got angry with my confession. He ignored me the entire day and night and the next day broke up with me stating he wasn’t happy and didn’t want to make this work and hat he had been feeling this way for a few weeks. It also came out during our breakup that he has never been alone and has gone from girl to girl to girl. (He’s 33 years old). He unfriended and unfollowed me on social media and deleted every picture that was evidence of my existence. I’ve gone 7 days no contact. We live one street apart from each other. I flip flop as to whether I think he will change his mind or not. Is he gone for good?!

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kam,

      what’s more important now is that you focus in improving yourself..because if he is gone for good, worrying about is not going to increase your chances of getting him back

  40. Gins - 0


    My boyfriend of 13 yrs has moved out. I’m sure if it’s for good or not yet. Last summer we split for 3 months. I was gutted. After three months we worked through things and he came home… Everything has been wonderful since then. Until… Someone told me had slept with a woman 20 days after we split and he carried on sleeping with her for a few weeks. I asked and he denied it. But my gut instinct said there was something in it. So I asked her.. Anyway after 3 days of lies and the picture unfolding I found it to be true. I asked him to leave again. He says he deeply regrets it and lying about it. He didn’t want upset our great relationship we have now. But it was the lies above all hurt me. We are talking a bit.. And I’m not angry.. I’m not even 100% sure I want him if he can lie like that to me. But I do love him dearly and he me. What can I do to heal this … Thanks x

  41. Giselle - 0


    Hi I asked a question on here and it got deleted?!

  42. Giselle - 0


    Hi team,

    I’ll try to cut it as short as I possibly can. My issue is a little unique, so I need professional help.

    So, my “boyfriend” had been chasing me for 3 years! A year ago I finally decided to give him a chance. I was still not attracted to him whatsoever, but wanted a time pass, so I gave him a chance. The reason I put boyfriend in quotation marks is because since this day it was never really exclusive in my mind, which ultimately led to the problem.

    He has loved me for a good few years and told me this soon after we started talking. During this time though I was still in contact with other men. I guess I was keeping my options open, but my “boyfriend” wouldn’t know anything about this.. or so I thought.

    I would always be very harsh with him and very open about the fact that I wasn’t attracted to him. He didn’t mind this as he was happy to be given a chance to prove himself at least. Soon after he told me he loved me, he asked me to marry me. I declined as I wasn’t ready and not 100% convinced of my feelings for him. I was still sort of leading him on at this point. He was patient through it all. He was always very kind and understanding and till this day we haven’t slept together because I didn’t want to. He was always trying to make me say the words “I love you”.
    Then I started falling for him. Very recently (2 months ago) I told him I loved him. We started talking about marriage, kids, the future and all things related. He continued to propose to me and propose to me and propose to me. I declined everytime because I still was/am not ready. He’s 27 and I’m 26, btw. Throughout all of this though, I would still see other men and occasionally sleep with them. I guess I kind of justified it as him still having to chase me like he had all those years. It was never completely exclusive in my mind. I wouldn’t tell him this. He always suspected it though and would always be very suspicious of me. Nevertheless, he stuck around.

    It wasn’t always perfect though, he would always accuse me of lying to him about where and who I’m going out with. He caught me lying about a few other things as well, but that’s a separate issue. And he was right to be suspicious, but I wouldn’t tell him at all.

    Occasionally I would always play little mind games with him like threaten to leave him and ask for a “break”. He would always play to my tune and beg me to stay.

    So then the inevitable happened just a few hours ago. I texted him asking for yet another break. Again, he replied back “why another break?”. He begged me a little more to stay, then ALL OF A SUDDEN he told me he knew about the “cheating” and he was sick of the lying as well. He texted “ok let’s end it here”. These words had me in tears immediately as it was NOTHING like him to give up on us regardless of the circumstance. All of a sudden I made the mistake of begging him to stay, which is nothing like me. He travels a lot for a living so then all of a sudden he tells me that he’s going away anyway and he might not even come back. He would be very adamant on leaving, but then every now and then during our conversation he would say something confusing like “Either come with me or stay here and I leave”. Then he would say something like “I can’t have someone that has sex with others”. And then he would all of a sudden say “I’ll contact u when I’m gone. Maybe I will not sure”. He was all over the place. He has never seen me be like this before, begging him and so on. I got so emotional, which maybe I should’ve just kept my cool. I don’t know.
    Maybe now he’s on a power trip or something. He was acting so cold like I’ve never seen it before 🙁 I would keep asking him if he loved me or not and he wouldn’t answer me at all. He would just say that he has to leave tomorrow.

    This makes no sense because just 2 nights ago we were talking about marriage and kids and he proposed again wanting to ask my dad for my hand in marriage.

    Towards the end of the conversation he had me confused whether he was saying bye because he was leaving to go away or because he meant goodbye to “us”. I don’t know.

    He blocked me on Instagram immediately after. I blocked him on whatsapp (where we normally communicate on), but he hasn’t blocked me on whatsapp yet.

    What should I do now? What’s he thinking? Am I ever going to talk to him again? Is there hope????

    Thank you for any help in advance.

    • Giselle - 0


      I forgot to say, I told him I cheated after he asked me. That’s how he knew about the cheating.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Giselle,

      it wasnt deleted. I just haven’t reached your first comment yet. But if you meant that you can see it before and it says waiting moderation and then it was gone, please confirm.

      For him, you were probably the abusive girlfriend, and then when he was hurt, he just cant help but throw your faults at you.. Click the link below. It suits your situation more.

      Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)

  43. Tracy - 0


    Hi… my ex broke up with me two weeks ago… we were each others first everything, first boyfriend/girlfriend, first kiss, first love, lost our virginity’s to each other… keep in mind we are both freshman in highschool. I his reasoning for breaking up was that we fight too much, I agree we did but we would fight and be over it in 20 minutes. We dated for a year… he tried to breakup with me at 6 months when he started liking another girl but when he saw me cry on FaceTime he took me back out of pity (I know, shouldn’t have begged) we dated for another 6 months and were worth it. What’s different about this time is he doesn’t love me anymore. He broke up with me and I begged for him back after two days of that he agreed to try it one more time. He went snowboarding the next day so I decided to give him some space and not text him, thinking he would text me when he wanted to. He never texted me we just stopped talking, he stopped waiting for me in school(we have two classes together) stopped looking at me, he completely cut me off. What made this so much more difficult for me is he was my best friend. my three best girl friends turned on me, cut me off. He is close with these three girls,and one of them was the one he had broken up with me for at our 6 months. He was all I had, I told him everything that was going on, cried to him, he was always there to talk to but would just sit there never would say anything bad about them. A week after we broke up he told one of his friends how ugly I was, called me a bitch, said he was glad all my friends turned on me because he will never be my friend. I know this is confusing and it’s just a highschool relationship but I really am in love with him. Nothing was ever awkward between us, he was my best and only friend. We haven’t talked for a week now I’m trying to use no contact but I feel like it’s just making him happy without me than missing me. He is going to parties, and is getting close with the girl who turned in me, and who he tried to leave me for. How am I supposed to make him jealous or miss me when I have no friends, and he said all of those horrible things about me. He was all I had, my school is very small. All my friends turned on me for no reason, I always thought I would have him and he looks like he’s doing even better without me. I feel so lost without him I know it’s just highschool and there will be plenty more but we were perfect for each other, have the same exact personalities, sense of humor, style, music taste, play the same sports. How can he not miss me, did I mean nothing to him?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Tracy,

      You need to widen your world.Not just because you’re young but because that’s how it should be with all of us. You’re actually blessed than most adults to learn this earlier. When you enter in a relationship, you cant lose yourself. You have to continually improve yourself, do your own thing, grow, see your friends and maintain a relationship at the same time.

      When you make him your world, that’s not love anymore. He becomes a necessity because you made him your sole source of happiness and connection. Do new things and make new friends. Improve yourself. Have a make over, join new classes whether online or in the weekends, explore new hobbies, be active in sports, study more. Do that first. Be active in posting your activities in social media. I think you should do at least 45 days..and then continue that routine while slowly rebuilding rapport.

      Ignore him as much as you can but if the situation forces you to be with him, be polite. If he asks something, answer politely short and direct. If he says he wants to be friends, tell him it’s not workable for now. If he wants to get back together, he has to apologize for all the bad things he said about you and dont stop your routine for him..

      I honestly dont want you to get back with him but if you get him back someday, dont lose yourself and dont stop growing. That goes for all the relationship you’re going to have.

  44. Julia - 0


    My fiance and I are engaged for a year. We have been dating for 4yrs before the engagement. Recently we have been adjusting to new environment (he is officially ended sch finding new job and i am adjusting to new job) these three mths.

    We broke up three weeks ago. There were issues that were solvable but he insists that whatever situation he thinks, it couldn’t revert his decision of leaving. He didnt hear me out and he just left. He took back the ring. He said there is no third party and he said he loves me but the relationship is not strong.

    We didnt contact each other for three weeks. Please advise. It really hurts me but he don’t even know. I assume he felt that I dont love him.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Julia,

      why did you assume that? Even if you didn’t talk for 3 weeks, it was not focused in imoroving yourself. So start the count of no contact period after this and do 30 days. Be active in improving yourself and also in posting in social media

  45. Taylor (heart broken) - 0

    Taylor (heart broken)

    Hello, My boyfriend and I just broke up and it’s been about 48 hours. I had to announce his game last night since he plays volleyball and that was really hard to do, but I put a smile on and then cried when I got home.
    He ended things with me 2 days ago after about 1 year of dating and before we started dating, we had a year of just being hookup buddies and really good friends.
    He told me that he lost the fire of our relationship and hoped he would get it back. But since we practically lived together, meaning he stayed over ever night and we made meals together all the time and hung out with our friends together, I feel like it was just spending so much time together that it wore him down.
    I am a year older than he is and graduate college in May. He still has another year and we just exited the honeymoon stage so there were lots of things going on.
    However, when he told me he had lost the fire and been feeling that way for a couple weeks I was so shocked, but he also showed distance and cold shouldering.
    I feel like he swept everything under the rug and didn’t talk to me until it got to a boiling point and he broke up with me saying he needed to find himself and figure out what he wants to do because he is lost.
    I told him that I thought he was the one for me, and he said for awhile he thought I was too, but he just hadn’t been feeling that passion for a couple weeks. He said that I’m very outgoing and giggly and it was hard for him to reciprocate that because he felt he couldn’t give that to me..
    I haven’t spoken to him since he ended it with me and I plan to commit to the NC 30 day rule. I’m just wondering if I even have a shot here because he knows and has said he still cares so much about me a lot but he can’t give me the love that I want.
    I know I need to give him time since we spent so much of our time together but it’s so so so hard because I don’t know college without him and we have the same friends. Plus I really miss him…
    please help, I’ve read absolutely everything and I still feel crazy about him

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Taylor,

      I think that’s just it, that you spent so much time together, it got boring. So, I think you have a chance doing the no contact rule.

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