If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write missing my ex articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all.

In this case, I am going to be writing a manifesto (if you will!), that is aimed at helping you figure out ways to make your ex boyfriend miss you in the most wonderful of ways.  I mean really, don’t you want your ex boyfriend thinking about you and all the things the two of you did together, hungering for a return to those times?  Don’t you want him to miss the way you look and smell and taste?

You see, this whole business of creating a longing in your ex boyfriend mind and body is largely about using clever tactics and employing psychological techniques.  To make your ex boyfriend to miss and value you more, you have to do a number of things and stick with your plan, adapting as you go along.

So as you can imagine, to succeed you need a comprehensive Make Him Miss You Guide!  That is what I specialize in.

Can I Really Do Something To Make My Ex Boyfriend Miss Me As Badly As I Am Missing Him?

Yes you can.

You can set into motion a series of events that cause your ex boyfriend to yearn to be with you again.  It’s learning those things you should and shouldn’t do that helps you get him in that mindset where he has to have you back.

You want your ex boyfriend to miss you like crazy, right?  And you want him to start missing you from the day he breaks up with you, right?  Literally, right after the break up.

You want him to to miss you so much more than he could ever imagine.

We are talking re-creating memories about all the places he and you use to frequent. You want him to think about those times and to dwell on them.  Wouldn’t you love to have your ex boyfriend dream of you constantly, fantasizing about hooking up with you?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could see visible evidence of how much your ex boyfriend misses you on Facebook as judged by his posts and his reactions to yours?

Don’t you want him to be overwhelmed with feelings for you that he cannot quiet down?  Wouldn’t you want him to fear that he is losing you and may not see you or that you are getting along just fine without him.

Shouldn’t your ex boyfriend miss kissing you, stroking your hair, holding your hand, and making love to you.

How will you pull all this off?

Because after all, you will want to create a mosaic of emotions that causes your ex boyfriend to get all worked inside, yearning to be with you.

Perhaps he is not even close to acting or thinking that way.

I mean, how do you go from a guy who says he wants nothing to do with you – that he doesn’t care if he never sees you again – to an ex boyfriend who is miserable and can’t seems to function at all because he regrets letting you go?

It can’t be easy or can it?

Making Your Ex Boyfriend Realize Missing You Is The Worst Feeling He Has Ever Experienced

Some men are just downright stubborn.  It’s like, no matter what you do they don’t seem to notice you.  Of course, this Guide is all about the things you can do to turn your ex boyfriend’s stubbornness around and realize he misses you more than he could ever imagine.  But you need to have a plan to bring him to this reality.

This is why I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish  specific goals.

In this case, you need to learn how to make your ex boyfriend crave to be in your presence.  You want your ex bf to realize and notice that the loss of you is tearing up his world.  You need to learn to make your ex bf realize that the absence of you in his day to day routines is almost unbearable.

As his ex girlfriend, you want your guy to realize you are a stunning catch and he made a huge error in letting you go.  You want your ex to miss you so much, that he regrets his big blunder and mistake of breaking up with you or doing those stupid things that caused you to walk away from him.

How I Can Help You With Making Your Ex Boyfriend Desperate to See You Again?

Bringing about an environment in which your ex boyfriend desperately wants you back such that his every day is filled with thoughts about you is what I specialize in!   Getting to a place where your ex bf desires you again and appreciates the value you bring to his life requires a comprehensive strategic plan.

Getting him to a place where he is miserable without you takes some effort if he initiated the break up.  But if you dumped him, half the battle is won in one sense.   But be careful about being too ambitious and unrealistic.  Be careful about asking for too much too soon.

One of my clients the other day told me,  “I want my ex to miss me and call me and  want to do everything that we use to do together.  I want my boyfriend to drive by places that remind him of us and I want it to hurt, so he remembers I am special to him. Then  I want him to get serious and commit and  learn that if he ever cheats on me again, he will never have me and will miss me forever.”

This is why I do individual coaching and write ebook.  Sometimes it take a personal touch to remove the emotions that can get in the way of our aims.  Wanting something to much and letting our emotion get in our way is almost always a losing strategy.  Sometimes it takes a lengthy book to help someone put it all together because getting back together after a  break up is really hard.

In addition to my ebooks and providing coaching services, I am extremely involved on this site.

Me and my team respond to every comment personally.  So, as long as your comment relates to the topic of making your boyfriend long for you…missing you so much that he can barely contain himself,  then you should get a response within a day.

Now, I know that’s a bit of a tall order to make good on all of that especially when you consider the state of the “get your back niche” these days. I mean, just the other day I was doing research on a forum and I saw hundreds of women NOT getting answered. But I really feel that’s what makes Ex Boyfriend Recovery different from the rest.

But Chris, My Ex Boyfriend Will Never Miss Me – He Has a New Girlfriend!

Now you may be wondering, will this help me if he already has a girlfriend?  You might be wondering if it’s a lost cause if your ex has gone out and found himself a new woman.  You are probably worrying there is no way my ex boyfriend will miss and be thinking about me.   You may think,  “He is with her now.  I am in his past and am just an old, forgotten memory.”

Well, I am hear to tell you there are a lot of ways to make your ex boyfriend miss you if he has a new girlfriend.

You might also be wondering, “will my ex boyfriend start missing all of our times together if I just ignore him?  The short answer is that even in circumstances in which you do little or nothing, guys are wired to revisit that which they no longer have.

But there are many ways you can turn the screw to make him obsess over you more than he could ever imagine.  Yes, you may feel somewhat miserable these days.  But if you and your ex are like most couples, your boyfriend is likely to be mirroring your emotions and missing you far more than you realize.

Are You Ready To Make Your Ex Realize He Needs You and  Should Appreciate What He Has Lost!

So we are going to give you a game plan.  And it starts with 15 ideas on how to make your ex boyfriend realize what he has lost in giving you up.  The plan here, going forward, is to help your ex boyfriend realize and understand that he needs you.

The idea is to do a number of things to help your guy realize your real worth and value.  When it is all said and done, you want your ex to appreciate so much more about you and realize he misses you dearly and loves you.

That is what it is going to take.  To help make this happen, you need to be devoted to following a Plan of Action that will not just create these feelings in your ex boyfriend, but you also will need to be devoted to your own self recovery needs.

Self-Healing and looking at things realistically and pragmatically is important.  This plan may work.  Then again, it might not and you have to be focused on your future paths.  Either way, you can be happy.

15 Ways To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You Instantly So It Hurts!

OK, I know some of you out there are looking for quick answers.  You are moving fast (I really want you to slow down!) through all these emotions of the break up and all you can think of is I want my boyfriend to regret he left me.  You may be thinking,  “he was so crazy to let me go and I want him to miss me so much he will never want to let me go again.”

For those of you who are thinking this way, please read this whole Guide!  It will do you wonders.  But if you have absolutely have to have my Top 15 ways to make that boyfriend come to his senses and realize he is blowing it, then dig right in because you are going to find some excellent ideas on how to proceed.

1. Don’t Think Your Ex Boyfriend Will Miss You Instantly

For whatever reasons, you and your boyfriend split up and there is going to be a lot of emotions flying around like tears, anger, resentment, jealousy, disgust, confusion, etc.  You and your ex are wading into the deep waters of break up chaos.  So if you have an expectation that he is going to regret everything he had done and come running back to you, think again.  It takes time for those feelings of longing and wanting and needing you to take form.  And it seldom takes full form unless you are doing something to move it along.

2.  Have You Heard of Radio Silence (or No Contact)? It Will Help You Set The Terms of the Break Up and Lead Him Back To You

When the relationship dissolves away, you can’t be waiting around doing nothing hoping and thinking, “I wish my ex boyfriend would want me again”.  You have to move forward and part of this process is called the Radio Silence Principle.  Others call it implementing No Contact To Make Him Miss You.  But in reality, stopping communications is much more than just ending contact.  It’s about finding a way back for yourself. It’s getting over your own pain and standing on your own two feet so you will be stronger for tomorrow and all the days to follow.  That is the front end of the process.  On the back end is the part which you set certain things in motion to make your ex boyfriend miss these little memories of you and he.  It’s about making your ex bf learn that what he thinks he wants, is far from what he will ultimately want.

3.  Your Ex Boyfriend’s Mind Will Wander Back To Those Times He Was With You Because of Psychological Reactance.

That’s right!  He will be drawn to you and come to desire you because while your are practicing the No Contact (Radio Silence) Rule, your ex’s mind will conspire against him.  Why?   Because psychologically, men (and women too), when confronted with losing something, will seek to get it back.  He will be almost mysteriously drawn to you after awhile, not just because he is missing you, but because through the No Contact Rule that you are practicing, you are in effective depriving your ex boyfriend of something that he thinks was his and could always have.  But now the routines have changed and you are not there and readily available as before.  But the deep drive within him, which has been conditioned through many months or  years of experience with you, will, like an invisible hand, pull him to toward you, wanting to be with you.

4.  Make Your Ex Boyfriend Go a Little Nuts With Some Well Timed Jealousy Ploys!

I know.  I shouldn’t be telling you this and it seems a little manipulative, but it works or it can work provided you don’t go overboard trying to make your ex boyfriend jealous out of his mind!  A little bit of jealousy can go a long ways.

5. Draw In Your Ex Boyfriend By Using Social Media Tactics

It’s not too difficult to figure out what to do here.  Or perhaps it is.  For example, some of my clients inform me they have blocked or shut down all access to their exes, preventing them to know a thing about their lives.  They tell me, “he will no longer be able to see or follow me on Facebook“.  No more texts or phone calls, they will brag. That will teach them, they tell me.  I almost always advise them to do the opposite.  Keep those communication channels wide open and flowing because you can use them in hundreds of ways to leave them little reminders about how amazing and wonderful you are.  So if you want your ex boyfriend to miss you like never before, then learn the art of leveraging your Social Media accounts to help shape your ex boyfriend’s emotions and image of you.  Social media is an enabler and will help you drive home the points you want him to see and hear.

6. Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Notice You With Someting Naughty and Suggestive

So if you are thinking that I want you to send him some nude images or show up at your ex boyfriend’s door half naked, think again!  I believe in the notion that “less is more”.  So I would advocate you do some little things that you know from your personal experiences with your ex is something he will sorely miss.  It could be a certain way your wear your hair or a certain outfit that he loves you in. It could be the sound of your voice or the manner in which you smile during certain special moments. These things are what turns him on and makes your ex boyfriend think wistfully about certain sexual or romantic experiences the two of you had together.  Whatever it is, I want you to think of it in terms of images, words, video, and sounds (audio).  Then give these things to him in as many ways as you can think of so that he sees you, hear you, or read about your story, causing these memories and feeling to come flooding back.

7.  Consider Starting a Little Whisper Rumor That Will Make Your Ex Boyfriend Ache For You.

So what you want to do here is start up a little rumor that you know will get back to your ex.  You want him to hear about it and it should involve you. It could be something about you dating.  It could be about you possibly moving away.  It could be about you going somewhere exotic.  Maybe you are going on a thrilling hot air balloon ride.  But the idea here is he will hear that you are going off on some kind of exciting adventure, the kind of thing the two of you use to do together, but now he is left out.  Chances are that some part of  your ex boyfriend will be craving to be with you and he will have all kinds of regrets he is not part of this experience you are about to have.

8. Pull On Your Ex Boyfriend’s Heartstrings By Taking a Picture of Yourself At a Place Where You Both Shared Something Special

This is a simple, but clever way to have your ex associate a positive experience he and you had in the past, with what you are doing now.  This tactic is almost guaranteed to get your guy’s head spinning with a desire to relive it with you.

9. Play the “I Just Happen To Be Here Game” With Your Ex

You know how this works.  It always works.  Even when your ex knows you are showing up on purpose to cross paths with him.  Of course, the idea is to not make it look obvious, but actually create this moment where your ex boyfriend and you are in the same space.  You will have the advantage because you would have planned it and therefor will know what you want to do and what you will be wearing.  By the way, you will be looking fabulous and you will make sure your ex boyfriend notices it all.

10. Try Playing The Ex Back Game of the “Accidental Call”

Now in this case, the butt call or whatever excuse you use to explain why he is getting this accidental call will be so well planned that he will actually fall for it.  And unlike most novices who play this game, you will be super nice, apologize for the unintended interruption, then hang up, all in less than 5 seconds.  Yep.  You gotta keep it short to sell it.  What you are trying to do here is simply leave your ex a little breadcrumb.  A little piece of the wonderful you, for him to think about all the rest of the day.

11. Turn Yourself Into the Ungettable Girl With a Whole New Makeover

In this case, you want to make yourself look almost entirely different in the most beautiful way.  Then you want to post pics and work toward running into him or whatever it is you can accomplish so he notices the new “you”.  Your ex boyfriend will probably have secret fantasies of being with this new “you” and making love with this entirely new girl, that is you.  Of course, none of those things are going to happen, at least not for some time, but you are leaving him another breadcrumb that leads right to his weakness….unfulfilled desire.

12. Accept a Date With a Guy, Preferably Somebody Your Ex Boyfriend Knows

If you want to make him a little crazy with jealousy, then go on a date and make sure he knows about it and sees a pic.  Keep it all very tasteful and classy, but the image of you with another guy is sure to get the fires going inside your ex.

13. Remember to End Your Conversation With Your Ex Bf When It Reaches Its Peak

At some stage, you and your ex bf are going to start talking again.  Whether that be text messages or phone calls (or both), you need to read up in my ebook (Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro) how you should end your conversation with him when it reaches its peak.  Leave your ex boyfriend wanting more of you.

14. Go With a Friend To a Far Away Place

Not only will this help you with your own healing and recovery, but make sure your ex knows that you are embarking on a trip.  He might be a tad jealous that he is not going with you.  Let’s say you are going on a River Cruise somewhere.  Talk about it on Social Media.  Make sure he gets the news.  Let it all sink in into his mind.  Part of him is likely to wish he was with you.  Be so bold to even reach out to him a few days before you leave, wishing that he could come along because he is “so good” at this or that (compliment him).  Buttering up your ex boyfriend like this leaves him little room to be resentful toward you and opens the door for him to miss you like crazy while you are on this grand adventure.

15. Speak To Your Ex Boyfriend Through Videos – But Not Really

So the idea here is you want to be able to convey things about you and how your are getting along without your ex, so he can see visual reminders and proof that all these wonderful qualities about you are still there and he can’t enjoy them in person.  He will miss you terribly because he can’t touch you or talk to you, but there you are in the video.  This is probably best accomplished on your favorite Social Media page.

Before We Proceed Deeper Into This “Make My Ex Bf Miss Me” Guide – Time to Meet My Team!

So let me first tell you about my system. We have a whole team dedicated to upholding our “motto,” if you will.

What’s our motto?

That everyone who comes to the site to read, watch, or comment should be helped and attended to.

Oh… how rude of me.

Perhaps I should introduce you to “The Ex Recovery Team.”

team members

Now, throughout this article you may notice that a few of our team members chime in and offer little tidbits of advice on top of the advice that I am dishing out. Don’t be alarmed by that.

You are still learning from me, Chris Seiter, it’s just that I always think five heads are better than one.

But perhaps I shouldn’t get too touchy feely here. You are here for a reason after all and that reason is to make your ex boyfriend miss you.

So, since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

17 Lessons On Making An Ex Boyfriend Miss You – Unraveling The Break Up Puzzle!

You are here to learn more details about how to make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

Indeed, over the course of the rest of this Guide, I am going to walk your through 17 Lessons on how you can optimize your chances.

If you are here, then I am going to assume that you want your ex boyfriend back. After all, why else would you want to make him miss you?

(Well, I suppose getting revenge on him is an answer here but lets just assume that, that isn’t the reason you want to make him miss you.)

The thinking goes a little like this,

“If I make him miss me then eventually he will realize that he wants to be back in a relationship with me.”

So, lets do a little role playing here and assume that you end up taking the advice I teach on this page to heart and successfully make your ex boyfriend miss you.

Do you think he will come back?

Do you think making him miss you alone will be enough?

Unfortunately no…

Don’t get me wrong, you will absolutely have to make your ex miss you if you want any chance of winning him back but it isn’t going to be enough alone.

Think of it like a puzzle.

In order to get your ex boyfriend back, desiring to be with you, hungering to be in you presence, you need to put the entire puzzle together.

puzzle

However, simply getting your ex boyfriend to miss you is essentially like trying to put a puzzle together with just one piece.

It’s impossible.

But that’s why you need a reference guide to teach you to put all the pieces together. So, The Ex Recovery Team and I have put together an entire book for doing just that.

It’s called,

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Think of it like the ultimate step by step game plan for getting your ex back. It takes you through the process from start to finish. It gives you all the puzzle pieces and covers just about every situation you can think of.

Seriously…

Take a look at the situations we cover in PRO,

  • You Cheated
  • They Cheated
  • You Cheated On Each Other
  • Long Distance
  • Being Blocked
  • He/She Has A New Girlfriend/Boyfriend
  • If You Slept With Them
  • Engagement
  • If They Are In The Army
  • If You Have A Child Together
  • If You Have Been Friend Zoned
  • How To Get Them Back After A Long Time Apart (1 Yr +)
  • They Broke Up With You
  • You Broke Up With Them
  • If You Work With Them
  • If Your Ex Just Got Divorced
  • If You Just Got Divorced
  • Getting Your Husband/Wife Back
  • If You Think You Were The Rebound
  • If They Were On The Rebound
  • What To Do If They Are Married
  • What If There Is An Age Gap
  • If You Are Pregnant (Women Only)
  • What If Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant (Men Only)
  • On Again/Off Again

But you are probably getting bored of hearing me talk about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO aren’t you? After all, you did come here to make your ex boyfriend back, right?

Well, then lets get right to it.

I give you the Ultimate Guide For Making An Ex Boyfriend Miss You.  It consists of 17 Lessons and it’s time for you to study up.

Please enjoy it! Oh, and one thing we are really good about here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery is answering people’s questions. So, if you have any type of question about the process I am about to teach you feel free to ask us in the comments section of this article.

Lets dive in!

Lesson 1: You Have A “Missing” Advantage Already Over Your Ex Boyfriend!

advantage

One of the things that I have always found fascinating when it comes to researching breakups is the scientific data that I come across. You see, I am one of those people who is low on faith.

Faith = Believing in something without seeing it.

And perhaps that’s a little strange for the profession that I have chosen since a lot of getting an ex back is all about believing in an outcome that hasn’t occurred yet.

Nevertheless, I think it would be wrong of me to try to teach you something without having proof it works which is why I find the scientific research done on breakups so fascinating.

So many insights can be derived from them.

Take The Brain Study As An Example…

Did you know that science has proven that after a breakup you experience the same type of feeling that a drug addict would feel if he/she was going through a withdrawal period?

In 2005, psychologist Art Aron, neurologist Lucy Brown, and anthropologist Helen Fisher all teamed up to do an interesting study on individuals who had just recently gone through a breakup.

They decided to have the individuals put a brain imaging tool on and then showed them pictures of their ex.

The scientists were trying to determine what was happening in the brain of the people who just went through the breakup.

The results were shocking.

The part of the brain that lit up was the same part of the brain that is commonly present in drug addicts who are going through withdrawal.

So, I guess it’s true what they say.

Love is a drug!

But one simple study probably isn’t enough to sway your opinion, huh?

Ok, lets dive in a little deeper and look at the interesting world of “Facebook Creeping”

Lesson 2: The Facebook Creeper Statistic – A Sign Your Ex Can Be Irresistibly Drawn To You!

GUILTY!

I have done this.

Hell, I think everyone does this after a breakup. It’s human nature to be curious about what your ex is up to post breakup. I remember in my circumstance with my most recent ex I would think to myself,

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.36.41 PM“I wonder if she is depressed… I bet she is. Let me look and find out.”

And ever since Facebook was invented it has become the ultimate tool for spying on on ex. Just ask Veronika Lukacs who conducted the study as part of her Media Studies Masters thesis, in which she looked at how many people have admitted to “Facebook Creeping” on an ex.

Now, if you don’t know what “Facebook Creeping” is it’s actually quite simple.

Facebook Creeping = Spying on an exes Facebook profile after a breakup to see what they are up to.

You won’t believe how many people admitted to creeping on their exes Facebook.

Nearly 90%!

(Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/28/nearly-90-percent-of-people-creep-facebook_n_1687424.html)

That’s incredible.

You realize what that means, right?

Well, it means that there is a nearly 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is going to come strolling by your Facebook profile assuming you are still friends there.

That’s amazing.

But again, I still feel this incredible need to provide you with overwhelming statistics before I specifically talk about the advantage you have.

Lesson 3: The Overwhelming Statistics Are In Your Favor

pacman

Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much?

Now, does that necessarily mean that if your ex falls into the 71% category that he is going to be missing you?

No, remember, this statistic is basically just saying that 71% of people think about their exes too much. It doesn’t dive too deep into what he is thinking when he is missing you.

He could be thinking negative things…

He could be thinking positive things…

We just don’t know.

Nevertheless, thinking about an ex too much certainly is a start towards missing that ex.

But it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. So, this basically tells us that even if you are married you may still think about your ex too much.

What are my thoughts on this statistic?

Well, I think the important distinction that has to be made is if they are thinking about their ex TOO MUCH or just a little bit. I think it’s human nature to have your mind wander to the past and think about an ex.

Hell, I am sure even my own wife has had this happen from time to time but it’s not like she can turn her mind off.

No one can.

But there is a definite difference between having your mind take a small trip down memory lane and thinking about an ex all day every day.

I would be curious to hear what people defined as thinking “too much”

Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

Now I want to talk about your “Big Advantage”

Lesson 4: The Big Advantage That You Have Over Your Ex Boyfriend Is You Are Learning About Break ups!

I got pretty darn boring just now and threw out a bunch of statistics for you. The statistics were meant to prove one thing.

What The Statistics Prove = That even after a breakup, without you doing anything, your ex is thinking about you way too much

So, if your ex is thinking about you too much then you can ultimately use that to your advantage, right?

That’s your big advantage when it comes to making a man miss you. As a default, he is already thinking about you too much. So, that puts you in a pretty good place because many of you will find that it’s not going to take too much to get him to miss you.

Now, does that mean that it’s easy to make a man miss you?

Absolutely not.

There are a lot of factors involved.

But here is my vision.

Right now your ex bf, as a default, is thinking about you too much,

default

Now, imagine if you took an ex who was thinking about you too much and coupled it with a professional’s strategies,

My strategies

Making him miss you should be a piece of cake, right?

Well, there is still one more thing that I think we need to cover before I can give you the strategy you should implement and this is something that is going to be important for you to understand because it’s going to directly affect your chances for making him miss you.

Lesson 5: The Number One Factor That Determines Whether He Misses You Or Not

Let’s role play.

Lets pretend that in your entire life you have only dated two men.

Man One – Was the great love of your life. He treated you like a queen, made you feel butterflies and as you were dating him you would often think to yourself, “I think he may be “The One.””

Man Two- You also loved Man Two but he did not treat you so well. Your entire relationship, while electric was full of fights. Man Two had a bad habit of putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself.

So, lets assume that you have broken up with both of these men.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.42.07 PMWhich one do you think you are more likely to miss?

Man One, right?

Why?

Because he treated you like a queen and your overall relationship with him was better.

And that brings me to my ultimate point.

Without a doubt the number one factor that determines whether a man will miss you or not is always going to be your past relationship with him.

Now, I am not like those other relationship experts out there that will tell you what you want to hear 100% of the time.

If you had a horrible relationship with your ex your chances of having him miss you is going to be lower. That’s just the way it is. Of course, if you had a great relationship with him your chances will be higher.

So, it works both ways.

Lesson 6: The Secret Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup

secret

Ok, one more thing to talk about before we can start getting down to the actual strategy of making an ex boyfriend miss you.

Did you know that you have a “secret advantage” if you were actually the one to initiate the breakup with your ex?

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

1. He Can Break Up With You- Where your ex boyfriend actually is the one to initiate the break up.

2. You Can Break Up With Him- Where YOU actually are the one to initiate the break up with him.

3. You Both Mutually Agree To Break Up- This one is where you both break up mutually. No side strikes first.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup.

We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct.

When I get to talking about the no contact rule (really soon) I am going to talk about psychological reactance.

But I suppose I can give you an early taste here since it is definitely going to apply.

Psychological reactance theory basically states that when you take away someones options to do something their attraction to gain their freedom to get that option back increases.

Think of it like this.

Lets say you are walking in the store with a toddler named Ricky (no idea why I picked that name but bear with me here.) Ricky tugs on your pants and points to a toy saying,

“I want that toy!”

You immediately say,

“No, you can’t have that toy.”

Well, now that, Ricky’s freedom to have that toy has been taken away what does he want more than anything?

The toy!

This is psychological reactance in a nutshell.

So, by breaking up with your ex you actually increase the chances that he will miss you because his freedom to have you has been taken away.

Pretty interesting, right?

Of course, there is one case where this might not work as well.

Lesson 7: The ONE Case Where You Might Not Have This Advantage

If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

Cheating is one of those topics that is difficult for everyone involved (including me an impartial third party.)

“Wait, why is it hard for you?”

Easy, it’s hard because I am the one that has to come up with the game plan for putting a “cheating couple” back together. Thus, I have to do a lot of research on the topic to determine the best way to proceed.

So, like I said above, you probably aren’t going to have this secret advantage if you broke up with your ex if he cheated on you.

Why?

Because clearly something went wrong with your relationship.

Generally speaking people don’t cheat on a whim.

It’s not like a guy wakes up one day and goes,

“ALRIGHTY! Today is the day I cheat on my girlfriend.”

It’s usually a slow process that takes place over months. And for a man to cheat on you generally means that the wasn’t fully satisfied with the relationship.

Now, does that mean that he never loved you if he cheated on you?

No, Esther Perel, has dedicated pretty much her whole life to studying infidelity and she has found that oftentimes men and women who cheat are still in love with their partner. They just want more excitement in their sex lives.

Now, take that whatever way you want.

I am going to take it as if there is a fundamental problem with your relationship because in my mind a man who is fully satisfied with his relationship will be excited and engaged in his sex life with his partner.

Nevertheless, if you broke up with your ex because he cheated then you aren’t going to have this small little advantage that I am talking about.

Now lets look at the other side of the coin.

Lesson 8: The ONE Case Where You Will Absolutely Have The Secret Advantage

If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

Above I established that the the secret advantage that I keep talking about heavily revolves around this idea of “psychological reactance.”

And to be honest I can’t think of situation that screams “taking a mans freedom to have you away” more than this one.

If you broke up with your ex boyfriend when he didn’t want you to break up with him then you have definitely left him with the impression that you are a very rare commodity.

It’s a bit of that law of scarcity.

You will find that the more scarce you are the more attractive you will be to men in general.

It’s the same way that diamonds are so attractive to women.

It’s the fact that they look pretty AND they are very rare.

I mean, something tells me that you wouldn’t find a diamond so attractive if you go buy it for a dollar at the dollar store.

Anyways, lets move on to the meat of this guide.

How to make a man miss you after a breakup!

Lesson 9: The “Make Him Miss You” Strategy – What Your Ex Boyfriend Doesn’t Know!

I want you to take a look at the graphic below,

strategy

Pretty straightforward, right?

“Umm Chris… no it’s not.”

Well, don’t worry. It will be because I am going to break it down for you.

The “BIG” strategy for making your ex boyfriend miss you is divided up into four different parts,

1. The No Contact Rule
2. Social Media Game
3. The “Frank Sinatra Effect”
4. Jealousy Tactics

Lets start from the top!

Lesson 10: The No Contact Rule Can Make Your Ex Bf A Little Mad With Desire!

talk to me

Throughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme.

Hell, I even wrote an entire book about it (The No Contact Rule Book.)

But why is it such a big theme?

Why do I talk about it so much?

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.49.58 PMWell that’s easy to answer. The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most successful strategies for getting an ex back. A few weeks ago I compiled all of my recorded success stories to try to determine any correlations that I could find between what the people who had actually won their exes back were doing that the people who were failing weren’t.

Turns out the no contact rule was present in 74% of the successes.

But to be honest I think that number is actually a lot higher than that.

Why?

Because a portion of the success stories that I had recorded didn’t give me much information.

They just said something like,

“Thanks, I got my ex back.”

Not really deep enough for me to determine what that particular person did to succeed in getting their ex back, huh?

Don’t believe me?

Ok, here is a sample of one of the “thin” success stories that I got,

testimonial-9

 

 

So, if you were to ask my opinion on how many of the successes used the no contact rule I would put the number closer to 90%. Whatever the case, one thing is very clear.

The no contact rule is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.

But how does it make him miss you?

Good question.

In order to answer that I think we first need to define the no contact rule.

The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for a specific period of time. If during that “period of time” you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond. The no contact rule serves three main purposes. It gives both of you a “cool off period” to calm down from the breakup, it gives you the opportunity to improve yourself during the “cool off period” and it raises the chances that he will miss you.

Sounds simple, right?

WRONG!

The no contact rule is without a doubt the hardest strategy to complete on this site.

Hell, all you have to do is visit one of my “no contact rule” pages to see just how many women are struggling with it.

But you don’t care about that do you?

No, you care about the psychology behind why the no contact rule can make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

Ok, lets tackle that right now.

Lesson 11: Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

I want you to ask me a question.

The question = Chris, what is the number one mistake you see people making after a breakup.

WOW, thanks for asking that amazing question 😉 .

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 3.18.52 PMThe number one mistake that I see people making after a breakup is begging. They beg for their exes back. The become GNATS and just stick around.

I mean, put yourself in your ex boyfriends shoes for a second assuming that you were bugging the hell out of him after a breakup with you.

Would you find it attractive if someone you didn’t have feelings for anymore was bugging you every five seconds trying to convince you to do something you didn’t want to do?

Something tells me you wouldn’t.

Now, how does this play into making an ex miss you?

Easy, a man cannot miss that which he sees every day.

One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

I know it’s kind of a weird choice when there are way more epic movies out there but for some reason “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

What can I say… I dig revenge stories.

Truthfully, I watch the movie at least once a year and you know what causes me to watch it?

Something reminds me of it and then I think to myself,

“Man, that movie was so good I miss the feeling that it gave me. Maybe I should watch it.”

But I only have that thought because I haven’t seen it in a long time. Lets say that I watched it every day for a year. I can tell you right now that at that point it wouldn’t be my favorite movie anymore. No, it would probably end up being my most hated movie. It would become stale and I would grow sick of it.

By not giving your ex a chance to miss you, via the no contact rule, you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Lesson 12: The No Contact Rule Makes You More Attractive (I Can Prove It)

Have you ever heard of the notion that “people want what they can’t have?”

People want “that” which they feel should belong to them. By taking something away from them (e.g. you make yourself unavailable by not communicating), the person will be motivated to pursue.

In the world of psychology, it’s called “Psychological Reactance”. This concept emerged from the work of the American psychologist, Jack Brehm in 1966.
“Brehm argues that individuals have a set of “free behaviors” that they believe they can engage in at present or some time in the future. Behavioral freedoms vary in importance, with some being highly important because they deal with critical survival. Stephen Worchel (2004) suggested that these freedoms help define the individual’s self-identity. A threat or elimination of freedom results in an increase of attractiveness of the forbidden act and the motivation to engage in that behavior.” http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G2-3045302191.html In really simple terms, when you implement the No Contact Strategy, it’s like you are secretly saying, “You can’t have me. You can’t talk to me. I am depriving you of your freedom to be with me”.

With psychological reactance in play, your Ex is secretly thinking, “I want what you say I can’t have. It should belong to me and is part of me, so I will pursue it”

Ah, and that leads the way to another little hypothesis that I have.

According to psychological reactance your ex is going to want what he can’t have. We have already established that. But lets take a trip to fantasy land (your favorite place in the world) and say that you successfully get your ex back.

I have this theory that the harder you make it for him to get you back the more he will appreciate you when he has you.

My buddies first car is an example.

I had a friend who wanted a car more than anything when he was 16 years old. So, he spent an entire summer mowing peoples yards to get money to buy this beat up chevy truck that kind of looked like this,

old beat up chevy truck

Pretty crappy, right?

Here’s the thing.

He treated that car so good and he loved it more than anything. Hell, even now he reminisces about it. But I doubt he would have treated it so well if it had just been gifted to him.

In fact, there was one time that I asked him flat out,

“Why do you like this truck so much?”

His response was simple…

“Because I had to work so hard to get it. Dude, you have no idea how hard it was to scrounge up the money to buy this thing.”

So, here is my theory when it comes to you and your ex.

The harder you make it for him to get you back the more he is going to appreciate you once he gets you back. After all, I doubt you are in this to get your ex back and break up again, right? No, you want a relationship that is going to last.

And the no contact rule can provide that difficulty for him to succeed in getting you back.

Lesson 13: Social Media Game Impact On Your Ex Boyfriend’s Psychological Mindset

(For more in-depth information on how to use social media to get your ex back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

And now we move on to our second part of the strategy, social media,

strategy social media

Now, if you are confused as to what this is let me give you a quick history of social media.

Since the internet started… (No just kidding. I wouldn’t bore you to death with that.)

Look, here’s the deal.

Social media is an excellent way to make your ex miss you.

How?

Well, above I established that close to 90% of exes “creep” on Facebook. In other words, the probability that your ex boyfriend is going to peek at your profile at some point post breakup is high.

So, why not prepare for that moment?

Why not pimp out your profile to be everything that he finds attractive in a woman.

How To Make Your Social Media Profile Perfect

I want to tell you a funny story that happened to my wife yesterday.

So, if you don’t know my wife she is in charge of our YouTube channel and our marketing experts. In other words, if we want to get featured anywhere popular she is in charge of making that happen.

Well, one day she decided that we should be featured on “Ted Talks” so she started trying to network with some of the people over at “Ted Talks” and she managed to locate one of the person’s Facebook profiles.

So, rather than asking me to reach out directly she decided that since this person was a man it would be better if she reached out since she knows she is a very beautiful woman.

There was just one problem.

This was her Facebook profile picture,

profile picture

Now, I don’t know about you but that’s not going to make any man fall over himself. Well, except maybe me (that’s my daughter.) My wife, of course, knew this so she decided to change the picture to something really sexy like this,

ellas grove

That’s my wife in a model shoot for some clothing company named Ella’s Grove.

Anyways, what do you think happened to her after she changed her profile picture on Facebook from our child to a sexy looking picture of her.

All the men went wild (myself included.)

She was getting comments like,

comment 1

comment 2

comment 3

Ok, first off… what the fu*k?

Looks like I have to beat some people up.

COME SEBASTIAN!

We have some work to do!

sebastion

No I am just kidding…

Please don’t take that seriously.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.57.49 PMThe point of telling you this story was to show you how powerful a picture can be. You can potentially make your ex boyfriend one of those men and show him what he is missing out on by posting strategic pictures on your social media profiles.

So, here is what I am going to do.

I am going to teach you my two best methods for catching a mans attention via social media.

1. The Profile Picture Change
2. The “Fun” Picture

Lets start with the profile picture change.

The Profile Picture Change

This is what my wife did and indirectly got all that attention from men.

Now, I am going to pick on myself a bit here.

Before I met my wife I heavily relied on good looks to attract attention. In other words, any picture I posted to Facebook looked like this,

not a good picture

Now, even though this picture isn’t bad it isn’t earth shatteringly amazing which is what I should be going for.

And then I met my wife….

The woman who forced me to get professional pictures done.

Like this,

professional pictures

Do you see the difference.

This is the kind of picture that I want you to be posting to your social media profile as your profile picture. Here is my general rule of thumb, any picture that makes you look like you belong in a magazine is definitely the one you should have as your profile picture.

So, I guess what I am saying is that you should hire a professional photographer to take your picture. Now, for those of you who don’t want to step outside the comfort zone and hire a photographer I have one piece of advice to you.

Often times it’s the things that make us step outside our comfort zone that yield the best results.

The “Fun” Picture

I have a question for you.

What do you think your ex boyfriend expecting you to do after the breakup?

He’s expecting you to mope around and be depressed.

Don’t believe me?

I remember an early breakup of mine where this is exactly what I thought.

“God I hope she is suffering.”

Pretty mean, right?

But when I would spy on her Facebook profile and see that she wasn’t depressed it would drive me nuts. I want this exact thing to unfold for you when your ex boyfriend snoops around your profile.

So, how can you accomplish this?

Easy, post pictures of yourself out having fun.

Here is a great example. Look at the picture below,

These girls like they are having fun. This is the kind of picture you want to post.

Because here is what he is going to think when he sees it,

“Wait, why is she out having fun? Why isn’t she sitting at home eating ice cream like I thought?”

Once you get him thinking that this thought is right around the corner,

“I’m kind of jealous…”

And as I am going to establish later in this guide jealousy can lead to a man missing you.

Lesson 14: The Frank Sinatra Effect

(For more in-depth information on The Frank Sinatra Effect check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

frank sinatra

One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from a man by the name of Frank Sinatra.

“The best revenge in life is massive success.”

Now, what does that have to do with making an ex boyfriend miss you?

Good question.

In order for me to answer it I first need to tell you a story. To me, teaching people to get back with their exes is my passion and in order for me to give people advice I need to understand the trends.

What works and what doesn’t work.

So, that’s why I am always keeping an eye on your comments and questions to me. But the one thing that warms my heart more than anything are the success stories!

Not just because I helped people get back together but I can learn so much from them.

Anyways, one trend that I began to notice with a lot of my success stories was the fact that the women who ended up succeeding were actually completely moved on from the break up and living successful lives.

It’s sort of like it was at this point that their ex finally woke up and saw their worth.

Hell, I even did an entire podcast about this phenomenon here.

Anyways, I kept seeing this phenomenon pop up again and again so when I did an audit of my success stories last month I learned that a lot of women who had actually completely moved on from their exes were able to get him back.

It sounds counter intuitive, right?

But maybe not.

Lets turn our attention back to psychological reactance.

By moving on from an ex boyfriend completely you are indirectly saying to him,

“You cannot have me. You have lost the freedom to have me.”

Which of course as you know, will only make him want you more.

And that’s where the Frank Sinatra effect comes into play.

I want you to “move on” without moving on if that makes any sense. I want you to live an incredible life outside of your relationship with your ex.

Here are a few of my best tips for doing this.

Lesson 15: Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You During The Frank Sinatra Effect

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you while in the midst of the Frank Sinatra Effect. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control.

When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape

There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying that you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Pretty shallow I know…

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. Anyways, I was walking with my buddy when she yelled my name and we started talking. After we were done talking we went our separate ways and I remember my buddy going,

“Dude she is sooo HOT why did you let that one slip through your fingers?”

I explained that she didn’t look like that back when I knew her but now that I saw this new and improved version I wanted her immediately.

So, I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her which was relatively easy because she liked me (or so I thought.)

Anyways, we set up a relatively simple date to go on at a restaurant. The plan was that we were going to meet there and we would probably go for a walk after that. There was just one problem.

She never showed up.

During the day of the date I had reached out to her to ask if we were still on (BIG MISTAKE) and got no response…. the hours inched closer to kickoff and I still hadn’t heard from her. I was starting to get worried so like an insecure guy I reached out to her again,

“Hey, are we on for tonight?”

No response..

It was starting to become clear that I was going to get stood up if I went to the restaurant but I figured I would give it one more try.

“Are you there?”

Again no response…

She didn’t want to go on a date with me.

Ironic, huh?

Karma I guess!

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period (which is when you should probably be in the Frank Sinatra mindset) make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much.

Just focus on the most important thing, you.

If you were to ask me what I thought one of the biggest mistakes that I see women engaging in are I would definitely have to say that becoming to obsessed with their ex is at the top of the list.

In order to truly “move on, without moving on” you can’t be too worried about what your ex is doing. You need to be worrying about what you are doing.

I haven’t talked a lot about this yet because maybe I am trying to save something for my book. but maybe I think it’s too good to leave out.

If you really want to make the most of the Frank Sinatra effect I am going to teach you an amazing strategy. Well, perhaps strategy isn’t the right word to explain this. No, I would say this is more of a philosophy.

I like to call it…

“The Holy Trinity”

(Oh, and this is not biblical at all I promise.)

You can divide the most important aspects of your life into three categories,

HWR

  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

I don’t have to explain what is comprised of the categories, do I?

Well, I will tell you what, I am just going to leave my book for that.

Basically if you want to utilize the Frank Sinatra effect to the fullest I recommend that you try to maximize these three areas of your life.

You will notice that in the graphic above there is an intersection of the three.

The intersection where all three meet.

Hmm…

Perhaps it’s better if I pointed to it for you,

HWR copy

What you are trying to do here is find a perfect balance between your health, wealth and relationships. By doing so you will jump up in attractiveness to your ex.

Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and work on the holy trinity for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life

You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.

or

B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.”

Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.

Lesson 16: Jealousy Tactics Can Draw Your Ex Boyfriend To You

(For more in-depth information on how to use jealousy to get your ex boyfriend back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

jealousy

A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way.

It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

If you want to learn more about what you can text your ex boyfriend I recommend checking out “The Texting Bible.

Lesson 17: Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You Every Single Day!

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs that your ex boyfriend is starting to really warm up to you.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has multiple positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you, do not be afraid to comment in the section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally as quickly as my schedule allows!

5,816 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

  1. Avatar

    alexxis brown

    December 29, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    so it’s like a long story involving his ex. when we met he was still dating her all the way up till he came home for august. her friend told me in august and him and i worked it out he did things to prove to me and show me. like i even told him if he couldn’t handle doing any of it then don’t be here but he did. well a lot of my anxiety came up when i was moving and trying to get this job and what not. so we would have small fights here and there and at those times he would get aggressively angry. after the last small one we talked about it and he stopped getting so angry. well we had a conversation that led into another fight like two months ago which brought up his ex saying how he told her happy birthday and checked on her because she posted something depressing one day but that was it. and then he said his brothers gf posted something with her and it made him miss her. so then i’m calm and i’m just trying to like talk to him about it to see where we need to go. well he starts crying and just goes to the room and starts packing and i’m like ok dude you are over reacting like wtf. so then he says idk what to do i’m need to be alone whatever and i’m like ok well you have practice at 5 am if you still feel this way do it in the morning. he sits down on the bed and listens to me talk to him and i cried a little when i told him how i felt. he then went to watch tv in the living room like no big deal. then he went to sleep on my bed and was okay with me next to him. and at this point i’m giving him space not crossing boundaries and then when it was time to take him to school he still kissed me and said i love you like okay you are starting to get better and i didn’t go out of my way to text him he came to me. so he started the conversation like any normal day communicating with me like showing me look i’m fine i’m sorry i love you. so a couple days went by and we talked about it. he tells me he responded that way because he’s overwhelmed. he had been helping me and taking care of me with my anxiety not being so healthy as well as he had baseball and school cuz if he didn’t do well he couldn’t play. so i said ok makes sense and i also know he’s not where he wants to be for himself as a person. he doesn’t know where he wants to be at when he graduates. so i said okay we can take things day by day that’s fine. i assumed you stayed because you know i can be that person for you because you’ve grown a lot since we’ve last had a problem. and he was like yes and i said ok where do you want me to be at for you and he said i want you right here with me and i said ok well if you want me to go through it with you she has to not be in control. she can’t be affecting none of this. i told him the relationship i have with my ex is the way is because of the decisions he made and i want no part of it. you left for a reason and get y’all can be cool but you and i are building our history together and nobody should be involved that are ex’s this shouldn’t be a conversation anymore because we are starting to build this foundation. in a couple years maybe. but right now no and it’s not gonna help you figure yourself out if you still let her get in your head. and he said okay i said that’s the only reason i’m staying. if it happens i can’t do it anymore. so after that like he was doing things i never ever asked, being vulnerable with me. just being out right amazing. i showing him more appreciation. he had an amazing time at thanksgiving, i’ve never seen him get like that. well we needed to talk about christmas. and we didn’t till a week before and he came to me about it i didn’t even get the chance to say hey we need to talk. so he tells me he wants to be in new york alone so he can fix things with his family over the whole situation because he never fixed anything with his mom over she only knows the ex’s version of everything. so i know that was a real thing. he told his parents his ex can’t hang around anymore because he’s trying to fix things and do the right thing. so i had said you know how i feel about this. like i respect you needing to do that, i get it makes sense. i preached to him about how his family is more important than either one of us. and i said you know how i feel about it and he was like i know i understand and i’ll do everything to show, i’ll communicate and tell you and i said okay like it doesn’t have to be crazy just be honest with me. i have to trust you danny. ( i have never done anything to make him feel like he had to be extra or overwhelmed, i always gave him his space, let him come to me because me doing that would’ve made things worse. and so we talked it out we were good he was honest about his feelings. that whole rest of the week he was being vulnerable open honest being normal doing things we should’ve been doing form the beginning. just it was a great week. sunday i took him to celebrate his semester and celebrate our own little christmas. we had the best date ever where he was even telling me to put my phone down like it was just perfect, the way it should’ve been. monday he did things he’s never done either like call me when he gets in a situation, he bought me dinner, he introduced me to his cousin he hasn’t seen in 10 years, his friends taking me everywhere. not only that he was taking pictures of where he was at all week, keeping me updated like just out of his way stuff i never asked of him. stuff i never expected of him.now saturday i’m driving out here almost to albuqurque i had a bad dream the night before and i ignored it. it was the same typical day we would have since the past week he was home. and i told him i’m driving like call me when you can and he still did the same stuff took pictures and we had conversations it was great. so then like he calls me and says i just wanted to check in let you know i’m home how are you i’m going to shower eat and spend some more time with my family. and i’m like ok well it gets later and i asked him in a babyish way like how much longer cuz i miss you. he takes a picture of everyone in his family and says idk babe i’m still hanging out. and i got a weird feeling in my gut so i said idk if it’s PTSD from the summer or my bad dream but is there anything i need to know. and he says no.

    ten minutes later he does actually there is something. i go okay call me about it then. he goes idk if we will work out when i get back. and i was like wtf. he was like i want to be alone, i want to be free, i don’t want to have to text somebody or call someone and then nag at me for it and i said i never did that and he said i know you didn’t just in general. he said i just want to do what i want to do. and i said okay like what the heck. the past week danny the past two weeks you’ve been doing all these extra things like what in the world and he was like idk. and i was like you could’ve left i never told you to stay and he said i know you gave me so many chances but watching you cry hurt me and i wanted to still be with you even more. and i was like none of this makes sense whoever you talked telling you this isn’t fair because they don’t know us and whatever. he said nobody did i’ve been thinking about it. and i kept trying to get him to give me answers and all he could say was idk. he said i still care about you but i love you as a person. and i was like wtf. and i tried to get him to tell me where we would stand after he figures it out. like him and i had a good connection like a lot of people like thought we had been together for years like were super woah y’all look meant to be and shit so people got the same feeling of how our relationship was connected. he said honestly i think i still love my ex. and i said okay like you are back home it’s confusing memories are there like i get it. like when i went home when we first started dating it was pretty hard for me but i had you and i knew it was a vicious cycle if i tried to go back to that. and i asked him like once you figure it out like what about us and he was like no i think i may go back to her. and i was like seriously danny. how could you do all that you did show me you wanted me through your actions but you never actually felt that way. it doesn’t make any sense. i said you left her for the reason of pushing you away she argued with you and little things way too much. and he just said idk idk. and i said danny you know i’m a great person you were my best friend we had so many similar ambitions, commonalities, we had fun. you told me i was different and special and he was like you are right. i was like like you literally lied to me the whole time then. everything had to have been a lie if you are treating this like it’s me and none of it ever happened. he got mad at me for saying that and he said don’t you dare saying i never appreciated you, all of it was genuine. i felt it and what what i said when i felt it. i just don’t know what happened where i didn’t anymore. i said honestly you are slapping me in the face for saying i still am that girl you wanted to be with just so you could have the possibility of fucking your ex, i honestly wish you would’ve done that just so i could’ve left you because at least there was truth. right now you aren’t telling me anything, giving me anything to go off of. and he goes well i don’t want to be with anyone so it doesn’t even matter. i need to do some stuff for myself and i said i’m all down for that danny but for you to do that that means neither one of us should be part of your life cuz you won’t be able to. i said you are gonna go back into a vicious cycle with her and you are gonna be miserable. and he said if i do then i do. that’s my choice. i said wow… so then i said i guess i wasn’t enough then, it wasn’t enough. he said no it’s not about you, you did everything right, i need to figure stuff out. i said no you don’t danny, you have it figured out, you are telling me you are walking away from relationships in general because you don’t want to be part of what takes place in it just to go back to something that’s ten times worse that the bullshit we went through. we had more good times than bad. and he said i know we did. i said i know who tf i am danny. i know i’m the healthier better person for gods sake you stopped getting so angry you were being vulnerable with me and all those things with me, he said i know you are different i still believe that. i said it’s a slap in my face, especially acting like it didn’t happen. if you do choose to go that route you are going to be in a cycle you are going to be miserable and you are gonna remember this night and know i told you so and regret it. and he got quiet for awhile and said idk what to say… i said thank you for growing my heart bigger than i thought it was, for showing me what i want in someone, and for all the fun…. he was like we did have a lot of fun. on my birthday he got so totally wasted that he actually told me how he felt like deeply felt about me, he’s a shower not a talkie person and i pointed that out and he said idk idk what to say… and he just kept getting quiet saying idk what to say….when i found out everything the first time i had asked him a question about like why me. cuz he cheated on this girl all the time in judo, like a lot a lot. so i said i just want to know why, why did you pick me? if you just wanted a one time thing or a fling or whatever to say you had a chance with me when i told you that i didn’t want it to be like that why didn’t you do it, what made you keep a relationship for almost a year. he said all those girls were just one and done, nothing more. he said with you i could hang out with you we could have fun we can do everything together we could be independent at the same time and have the same friends and you are cool. plus everything everyone told me about you. i said fanny we never hung out on that level until the night we met so what about that night made you decide not to just have a chance and date me. (he gets really really upset, so the night we met his friend tried to fight everyone drunk well danny had to fight him off and seeing him that way made me want to be there for him even after a whole night of pushing him away, on the way home while he drove i held his hand, to comfort him) so that’s what he said, he said, because you are different. you holding my hand that night that’s what caught my attention. he said you didn’t even know me and you went to comfort me and nobody has ever did that… i said okay bye danny.
    the next day i got into a car accident he called me and said he was up all night… he stayed up till i drove home to cali. he’s never posts on snapchat. and 3 days later he posted of himself hitting baseballs and said getting right for my last rodeo. when days before he would send me his videos he still looks at my stories. he went out of his way to say merry christmas. i accidentally called him and even after i said it was an accident he asked if i meant to call and apologized for being busy hitting. he would keep saying i’m sorry for being busy when i would text about stuff i needed information from him on. he still interacts normal if we still have to have a conversation. now idk what to do, idk what to feel. he still has to grab his stuff from my place… my heart says he’s home where stuff is comfortable and easier and tempting because he was slowly starting to show me like look i want to be here. one time he even had me sit in the tub with him so he could wash my hair and back and just held me… idk what to do

  2. Avatar

    Colleen

    December 28, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    So after 2 years my boyfriend broke-up with me 11/19. The cause was he kept saying i was being crazy/jealous the final straw was him telling me he was going to his uncles house but someone seen him parked elsewhere when i called him he wasn’t answering me so I went over there to see what was going on & when he finally came walking up the street from who knows where he flipped out & ended it on the spot. Now we lived together so he didnt move out, however his grandmother became ill during this time, Thanksgiving day he said he was spending it with his mother & grandmother i found out his soon to be ex-wife was there i was very upset we argued & from that night on he stayed at his grandmothers. We continued to hang out, sleep together etc. he said he only had her around to see his kids. I asked if we were going to work things out or whst was going on his reply i hope we can I dont know if you can change. Give me space let me miss you & focus on my grandmother. He would get upset if he seen me textin questioning who i was talking to , he said he wasn’t talkin to anyone else dating anyone else. Now the night his grandmother passed we went out with his family for drinks & slept together, the following night i caught him making out with another female & he slept at her house. I packed all his stuff & dropped it off with his mother & havent heard from him since last friday. He blocked me on all social media too.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 2, 2020 at 11:28 pm

      Hi Colleen, thats very hurtful thing for you to go through but right now you are going to have to go into a no contact, even if he has met someone else and the things have been getting worse the more you sleep with him out side of a relationship the more he will think that you are happy for things to be this way. So No Contact and spend some time apart he has blocked you on social media etc because he does not want to talk to you right now. So allow that. He will start to miss you especially after spending 2 years together and living together. He will more than likely take some time as he is going to be grieving the loss of his grandmother for a while too

  3. Avatar

    Ria

    December 9, 2019 at 3:34 am

    Hi EBR team,

    My boyfriend broke up with me after 3 years of being together. A week before he broke up with me we had an argument and he said that he was gonna go because he couldn’t do this anymore. He said he felt as though he wasn’t in love anymore and that all he does is hurt me. But we talked it out and he came to the conclusion that he is in love and he just said those things as he was feeling overwhelmed. A week later he told me he thinks we should end it. He said he’s not happy in the relationship and feels as though he’s not in love. He said that he felt he was not good enough for me and that he doesn’t love me the way a boyfriend should. For example things like being inconsistent at times with communication etc. He said he feels that wouldn’t be an issue if he truly was in love. I know he felt guilty for not being “a good boyfriend” as he put it. I asked him multiple time’s, are you sure this is what you want. And he assured me yes. I asked whether there is any way we could just work this out, and he said he doesn’t think we can. I asked him if there was someone else, whether he had something to confess, and he said no it’s nothing like that he just thinks he needs to be alone. I also asked him what would happen if he regrets his decision, and he started crying saying would u take me back (he was crying throughout the whole conversation). He didn’t message me until a week later. I remained silent and so did he. And then he initiated contact. He checked up on me. And while talking I did things I know I shouldn’t have. I asked him how he’s been feeling about the situation and he explained that he’d been thinking about whether he’s made the right decision (I didn’t ask what conclusion he had come to as I didn’t want to hear “yes I did”). I also asked him whether he sees the possibility of getting back together in the future. And he told me he would never rule it out as that would be silly of him, but he then went on to say for now he’s just focusing on the present and hasn’t thought much about the future at all. Towards the end of the conversation I asked why he hadn’t messaged and he said he had read online that’s the best way to deal with a breakup and his friend had also given him the same advice. I responded saying that I got given the same advice but I feel it would be nice to maintain communication (I’m stupid I know). But anyway, he read my message but didn’t reply. It’s now been 3 weeks of no reply. 3 weeks of me being in no contact. He still has me on all social media’s. He still views my story posts on Snapchat and Instagram. Yesterday he posted on his Instagram some old pics/vids from a concert he went to in summer which I thought was quite rude since he hasn’t responded to me for weeks and knows I’d see that post. It seemed quite petty, even though he has no reason to be rude to me as I’ve not hurt him or upset him in anyway. That’s something he kept saying when he was breaking up with me “you’re the best girlfriend I don’t know why I feel like this.” I just don’t know why he still hasn’t responded yet. Or whether he ever will. Do you feel that there is a good chance of reconciliation here or is it not looking good? I’m thinking of expanding my no contact to 45 days. But I’m scared he’ll move on with someone new or forget about me. Do you think he’ll likely be back or is this the end?
    Thank you,
    I’m so sorry for how long this is!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 9, 2019 at 6:10 pm

      Hey Ria, just so you know this isn’t that long so don’t worry 😉

      So with the situation you’ve described I would go into No Contact if you have not completed a full one yet, and I would do so for a minimum of 30 days and prepare in that time to become Ungettable. There is information about this on this website and on Chris YouTube channel for you. After No Contact you need to reach out to your ex with a friendly text where you have a short but positive conversation about something you have done that would interest them. The issue have at the moment is you’re ex is in a mindset of you are not going anywhere so they have time to make the decision this is not what you want to happen as they have the power to make you wait knowing you’re not going anywhere.

  4. Avatar

    Andy

    December 7, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    Hello

    I actually broke up with my bf about 4 months ago. We dated for a couple years. It was a long distance relationship and we had planned on moving together this summer. However, he’s in the army and was supposed to get moved and then was told they didn’t know where or when he was going. After that he stopped talking about the future or making plans with me. He refused to talk about it because he didn’t know where his career was taking him. He was so closed up and made me feel unloved. I decided I needed a real commitment and it wasn’t worth feeling unloved so I ended things. He did not take it well.
    We didn’t talk for almost 4 months. Recently, he texted me after absolutely no communication since the breakup. He said he felt he needed to tell me he finally found out where and when he was going. He slowly started texting every few days and the last week or two everyday. If was fun communication with some flirty comments. He even complimented my looks in a couple pictures. Well now I haven’t heard from him in 4 days. What would make him text daily and then nothing. I haven’t texted him either though. Is he looking to get back together due to the stability in his career? Or just talking to an old friend.

    Thanks so much

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 8, 2019 at 10:00 pm

      Hey Andy so he may have been testing to see how your reaction to speaking with him would be after so long. If you are interested in getting back with your ex then I suggest you put some investment in to conversation too

  5. Avatar

    Wendy

    December 3, 2019 at 10:28 pm

    Hi Chris, My bf broke up with me after our 4 yrs relationship. I did all the wrong things by begging, pleading and stuffs to try to get him back. I realized that I became as a psycho one to keep calling, txting, emailing to get beg him to be back with me. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him. I know his family and friends encouraged him to not come back with me. I found it would be a challenge for me to face if he comes back and sometime I wanted to give up too. But my heart wouldn’t listen to me, I still love him and miss him crazy everyday. Now I’m following the no contact rule, I haven’t tried to contact him anymore because I know he already blocked my phone number. We are no longer friends on social media, but my mutual friend said he is enjoying to hangout for drinking and eating out with his friends. It has been a month after our breakup. He ignored me completely. Is it mean he no longer want to be back with me anymore right?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 9:21 pm

      Hi Wendy, so I can’t answer that question for you, all I can do is advise you if you want to get him back is to start and follow the program. Him having spent time with his friends does not mean anything hes doing what is normal. And the fact he hasnt reached out while you have been doing no contact isnt the end of the world either. When you are in a better emotional state you can start reaching out but as you sound upset still, I suggest going to 45 days no contact and reading about how to follow this program properly

  6. Avatar

    Mon

    December 1, 2019 at 4:12 pm

    Hey Chris and team!
    I was dating my ex for 7 months and last month I found out he’s been clubbing and probably sleeping with multiple girls through his best friend, who’s also a trusted friend of mine. I watched him for a month and when I got enough proof such as pictures of him with the girls and the screenshots of their chats, I confronted and broke up with him. He was denying until this time and even asked me to come back to him when I don’t doubt him anymore. I found that he’s a womanizer and a cheater for years and this isn’t his first time cheating. I know that I’m supposed to be moving on from him, but to the miracles, I want him to stop cheating and commit to me. Are there any ways to make that happen?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 1, 2019 at 10:46 pm

      Hi Mon, so as hard as this is going to be for you, you do need to get over what he has put you through so that it does not ruin any future relationships for you. And as for him stopping, he will not stop until he is ready to and that could take years. During your No Contact you need to do some real ungettable girl work so that you are the best woman he has ever had in his life and show that using social media to cultivate this “ungettable” woman in his mind. When he starts chasing you need to make him do the chasing and investment. When he has invested a lot of time into getting you back in a relationship with him, HOPEFULLY that will make him not want to cheat again, but if you forgive him too soon he is going to get the impression he can cheat and you will just forgive again and again.

  7. Avatar

    Kelly

    November 29, 2019 at 6:58 pm

    Dear Chris

    My ex and I broke up for the first time In a two year relationship about a month ago, we had a long chat and got back together three weeks later. A week later as in last week we broke up again, but this time he says it’s for good and nothing will change that. Is that it? I really don’t know what to do. Thanks Kelly

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 4, 2019 at 6:01 pm

      Hi Kelly, so your ex was right, nothing had changed in those three weeks. So this time you need to make the change happy. Follow the program and stick with it

  8. Avatar

    Amy Bean

    October 28, 2019 at 12:47 am

    My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We’ve talked off and on but it’s been one week since I’ve talked to him.. he’s called my best friend to check on me and to say he will always love me but that he’s dating his Jr High sweetheart and didn’t know where it was gonna go. We dated for a year and really had a great relationship.. I still text his mom because we are so close.. I just feel so lost.. he had promised me I was the one and I was his best friend.. it’s like I’m mourning that loss..I feel broken…please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 30, 2019 at 6:44 pm

      Hi Amy, you need to look up the Being There method and how to utilize it after your NC is over

  9. Avatar

    Tanvi Gupta

    October 26, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    Hi,
    We met each other through an online dating site. Things got pretty serious almost in the same fortnight we met and he proposed me for marriage. I immediately accepted because I never had that kind of instant connection so deep with anyone before. It was all good for just 2-3 months and he started behaving indifferently. Issues arised due to communication gaps and we used to fight each other every day. He is a very stubborn person, though our connection was still strong he initiated for breakup due to below reasons –
    1. In the country that I live a man’s income status and approval from either sides parents is really really important for a marriage to happen. He was jobless and was looking for some kind of business to work on. Since it was still not finalized, he decided not to stall me or keep me waiting. Though I told him, I would wait , he doesn’t want to continue whatsoever
    2. He also thought that parents would not accept us.
    3. He felt our communication issues would hamper the relationship down the line if we continued to be with each other.

    Post breakup I literally begged him to stay, pleaded him and did things beyond my self worth. He still didn’t stay. A few incidents also happened where my mom had called his parents without my notice and threatened them. This literally shattered his emotions and ego and blocked me from all social media. Though all this is happening, I can feel that he loves me still the same but just being stubborn to avoid all these situations. I did a no contact for 30days. One week before the no contact, I got a call from him (this was a fake call created by my friend), I thought it was him but didn’t contact him for a week. After the 30day period , I called him from a colleague’s number(as I was still blocked) and spoke to him for a few minutes, a very casual and crisp conversation. In this conversation I realized that the call last week wasn’t from him, also from the way he spoke, he was missing me but not admitting. He hung up the call first. But texted me that same night around 2 AM. We texted the following morning very briefly. He said that he is guilty for coming into my life and messing up, but he also mentioned that he is moving on (he brought up this topic by casually asking how is the moving on going with you. I had admitted that I’ve missed him a lot. Then he said that he’s moving on).

    After this happened , I myself initiated conversation twice for every 2-3 day gap. One time he told me that he is still angry with whatever happened (whatever my mom did and whatever I did by trying to be clingy). The second time he mentioned that he’s not being nice to me to avoid being attached as things between us are complicated. But this time I replied saying – even if he gets attached nothings going to work because he is talking normally when things are normal and he would most likely block me again if things go down south and I don’t have a heart to take it. But in reality , I want him so bad and I miss him like crazy. I know for a fact that he also have similar feelings but just wouldn’t come out of his stubborn attitude to start over and resolve the complications.

    Please I need some help with making him miss me and contact me back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 27, 2019 at 3:39 pm

      Hi Tanvi, so as you should know by reading the articles No Contact is how you make someone miss you and you need to work on being Ungettable Girl to cultivate the image you want people to see you as, posting things to your social media accounts because over time he is going to be looking

  10. Avatar

    S

    October 12, 2019 at 9:18 am

    Hi,
    There’s this guy I was with for about 3 months. We didn’t tag it but decided to see where it’ll go. He started behaving super weird and when I confronted it according to him what we had was nice and sweet and it’s run it’s course. I just sort of started backing off and even broke the snapchat streak with him. Made no sense to continue. 3 days continuous he kept sending me snaps even tho I was taking hours to open and not replying only. The last and 3rd snap he sent was with his ex girlfriend at a group dinner. Not sure why he sent it to me tho. Anyway a month later he puts a story on instagram with the location “Sana,Yemen”. Sana is my name. Decided to give him the benefit of doubt and went to see his location on snapchat (I know it’s on) – he was pretty much sitting in his office. Not sure why he did this also. Was it to get a reaction? After that it’s been just silence and I don’t know what to do that’ll make him directly just message. Help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 12, 2019 at 11:10 pm

      Hi Sana, so you need to post things that show you’re living life and doing things that would interest him enough to make him want to talk to you.

  11. Avatar

    Ai

    September 11, 2019 at 8:14 am

    Hi Chris (Very long, I’m so sorry)

    You probably won’t answer this, but I just wanted a place to express what I’ve been through. Please if you do, give me advice. I really don’t know what else to do. I met my ex through his sister, who is also my best friend. We talked for like a month before we started dating. During the time we were talking, we both felt an instant connection, so that’s probably why we started dating so quickly. Before we even started talking, he explained to me that he went through a rough break up with his ex a year ago before we meet. He was recently just getting over her by the time we met, so he said that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I don’t know why, but he changed his mind and asked me out anyways. I asked my best friend if she knew and all she said was that a girl never made him this happy before. He lived close so I would always be at his in my free time. Everything about him made me so happy. He would also say the same thing about me. We were so in love. After 1 and half months, he stopped texting everyday like he used to. He never texted first anymore. It was just me starting almost every conversation with him. I know that he has a life, but he really didn’t put much effort into talking to me anymore. If I didn’t text first, we would have gone weeks without texting each other. I brought it up to him and he said he would try harder. I never saw any improvements. Every time I would up issues to talk about, he would avoid them by saying let’s talk about this when I’m ready to talk about it. So I just dropped the whole thing, waiting for him to come to me to talk. It never happened. Two months passed and nothing changed or were talked about. So I brought it up again and he said the same thing again. Wait for me to be ready. I asked how long are u gonna make me wait for me because our relationship can’t move forward until we resolve this issues. Then we got into a argument over it. We were arguing over text, but I wanted to talk to him face to face. So I went to his house without him knowing. I continued texting him even in his house. That was when he texted me that we should break up and go on a break. I was in tears as I read that. I was angry that he would break up with me over something that could be easily fixed if we just talked about it, but I also so beyond sad. My bff has to go get him, so we could talk this out in person. As soon as he found out that I was at his place, he rushed over in tears. I looked him in the eyes and said to him in tears can we not break up. I can’t imagine a life without you. Can’t we work this out, please. He started crying even harder and said I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m so stressed because this relationship on top of everything else. He was on the verge of getting kicked out of his home of 9 years. I understood his reasonings, but I really couldn’t let him go. I just kept crying in response. After a moment of silence, he took my hands and said look at me. He continue saying that we can still be together, but under the condition that I would not expect him to be the perfect bf. I agreed because I never once expected him to be the perfect bf. I expected him at least be able to communicate with me when we have problems. We didn’t break up in the end. It was around 2 days before Christmas’ Eve when this happened. It was around our 4 months of us being that we started arguing again about the same things. We would always come to the same conclusion that we will talk about this when he was ready. It just made me think that he just didn’t want to deal with me anymore. He would say that I was his happiness but would then treat me like I wasn’t even there. He made decisions that made me thought that I didn’t even matter to him. I explained this to him, but it would go through one ear out the other. It wasn’t always like this. We would go on dates, spend hours just talking about the randomness of things, talked about getting married, having kids together, and just being loving overall to each other. We got into this relationship because we both saw a future together. He even said that he would gone into a relationship in first place, but since it was me he wanted to give it a try. He believed that I was worth the risk of being heartbroken if we were ever to break up. The built up tensions just got worse everyday. It reached it peak the day before my birthday. We argued through the night over text. It wasn’t until the morning that he decides to call it quits. He said that he still loves me and that he knows that I don’t want to break up with him, but he said that he can’t deal with it anymore. I couldn’t even react to his messages because I had to go to school. Throughout my first class, I was texting my bff about what happened and trying my best not to cry. I texted him back saying that I love him and that I will always love him. I also told him to go to school because my bff said that he was trying not to go to school. And that’s when he said stop texting me. I will ignore you if you come over. And he proceed to block me on Snapchat. My bff said he was crying a lot but he was eventually dragging to school. He only sat in the office though. He was asked if he wanted to speak with me by his counselor, but said no. I spent the whole day trying not to cry. After that I had my birthday party, what a great way to spend my birthday. I couldn’t even cry until everyone left. My bff told me that I should come over so I did. I know I shouldn’t have, but I want to see how he was doing. When I got there, he was locked up in his room avoiding me. So I just stayed in the living room with his mom. My bff had to go out for a few days, so I was just there. I slept over for 3 days. I spent most of the time there sleeping. He was still locked in his room during the time I was there. He would only come out only when he knew I wasn’t up. His mom told me how he would check up on me when I was asleep. He did it a couple of times she said. When I saw for the first time after the break up, he seemed totally fine like nothing even happened. I was sad but I wasn’t showing it. After that I would come occasionally to hang out with my bff. My bff and I would catch him staring at me from time to time. He never spoke to me at all during that time. I would post pics on social media and every time he would be online looking at them. It wasn’t until 1 month after our break up that he blocked me on everything expect Instagram. I think it was around 3 months after we broken up that spoke to me for the first time again. It was by accident though. My bff and I were doing something together and he joined in. We were having so much fun that he accidentally smiled at me and said babe to addressed me, but he immediately stopped himself and turned away. I was surprised but I just dusted it off. Little bit after this, he started talking to me more openly. Stopped ignoring and acknowledge my presence more. But soon after, he moved away, so I stopped seeing him as often. But occasionally, I would see him. He would be at the same events as me, even though he never liked going out much. He was a couch potato. I’m very involved with the music department at my school and he knows this. So I don’t understand why I see him at every music related event at my school. I would think he wanted to see less of me, so he would avoid going out to places with the possibility of me showing up to. I overheard him talking once about how he wanted to be a cop and finish high school. While we were dating, he wanted to go into the military. I told him that I didn’t want to lose him, so I begged him not to go. It didn’t change his mind though. He wanted to dropped school to enroll into the military. I told that I would support him, but I wanted him to finish school. So he have a higher chance of being successful in the future. But he didn’t want to. Now that we have broken up, he’s doing the things I asked of him. Which is bs btw. Whenever I hung out with my bff, he would be there too, sometimes. Every single time he’s there though, my bff and I would catch him staring at me. He would hover around me. He would also play with his hair or hands like he is nervous or something. At this point, it has been 6 months since we’ve been broken up. I have improve myself and started to be more outgoing. I’m like a completely different person from when I dated my ex. At his mom’s surprise party, I noticed how he would lean in close to me wherever I was in the house. I would move away and he would inch closer. He seemed more happy to see me now. Compared to before, he wouldn’t even give me the time of day. I still catch him staring, but compared to before he doesn’t turn away anymore when we make eye contact. He kept looking at me even when I already turn away from him. I’m still waiting for him to contact me again. I know there’s probably no chance, since it almost been 8 months now. I would do no contact for about a month before showing up in front of him. I wouldn’t talk to him or anything. It’s my way of showing what he’s missing without being to obvious. Then I would do no contact for 2 months after the contact. And then show myself to him again using the same concept. He still hasn’t contacted me so I guess it’s not working. I, even, heard from my bff that he has been talking to other girls. I think she said he started like 1-2 months after we broke up. Which is pretty upsetting considering, I haven’t even done that yet. I know that we’re not dating, so he can do whatever he wants. But still after 1-2 months, it just makes me think that our relationship was nothing to him. I still love him even after 8 months of being broken up. He was the only guy that I was even comfortable enough opening up to. (I have a moderate case of Androphobia, so basically a fear of guys) So finding someone who I can open up to is hard. That’s why I lost hope of finding someone else. I just want him. No one else, but him. I guess I will be waiting a long long time until I date again. If I ever date again. I seriously wish I could read minds. It would be so much easier to understand people that way.

    If you read through this whole essay of mine, thank you! I appreciate it!

    1. Shaunna

      Shaunna

      September 12, 2019 at 8:18 pm

      Hello Ai, I think if you put some work into the program I have here, you will see some great progress for your self confidence and work on being Ungettable. Good Luck 🙂

  12. Avatar

    Tara

    August 29, 2019 at 10:53 pm

    We dated for 8 years, we did have a break up at the 4 year mark because he said he didn’t love me, I did the no contact thing at that point and he came back about a month and a half later begging for me back. I took him back after many talks and a lot of reflection. Now he is doing it all again, almost exactly 4 years later, he had been ignoring me and I called him out on it, he said he didn’t feel the same about me as he used to, I told him to leave me alone but a couple days later I wrote him on email to tell him sorry and I loved him and needed to know if he needed time or I needed closure, this was his wrote back “I am sorry I have ignored you. I know you love me and have treated me well. You have done nothing wrong. I want you to know that. I don’t love you in the way I should for us to keep dating. I am sorry it’s the way I feel and I have ignored you because you know I don’t like disappointing people. I can’t take up any more of your time thinking we will be together forever. It hurts me too. You are strong. ”. We had a good relationship, no conflicts. Both divorcees with kids, but we are friendly with each other’s exes. I don’t know if there is any hope but I love him and want him to realize what a good thing we had. We have unfriended each other on Facebook but we still have mutual friends and family on there, I need help on where to go from here.

  13. Avatar

    Stephanie

    August 23, 2019 at 10:54 am

    Hi, my situation is very confusing and I’m afraid I lost all of my chances. Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago and we ended on good terms. He didn’t want a relationship in the summer and just wanted some time for himself. I did the no contact rule for about a week and he texted me saying why I stopped talking to him completely and was going crazy asking me all these questions. He then said that if I see any hope in our relationship again, I shouldn’t leave him alone. We were then texting almost everyday and seeing each other, and when we saw each other in person, he would hug me and kiss me and say I love you and that it’s possible for us to work out again. He still kept his location sharing with me, he didn’t tell his mom we broke up, he told her we were still together, and he still kept all of our pictures and stuff I got him. He then started getting a little distant again and we would still hang out but I would ask him if it’s still possible for us and he would still say “it’s possible but I don’t know right now”. So he still had my passwords to everything and would log into my stuff and get jealous and I would too like if we still wanted each other. But yesterday he posted a picture with a female friend and texted me right after saying he did it to make someone who wants him really bad jealous so she can leave him alone and we kind of got into an argument and he said he doesn’t want a relationship. He said he doesn’t know when he will and that he still loves and has feelings for me but doesn’t want a relationship and doesn’t need that right now. He said he’s still keeping everything and I told him if he wanted his stuff back (even his house key) and he said no and would get mad when I would bring it up. I want him back really bad and I feel like there’s still hope but he’s being stubborn. I need your help!

  14. Avatar

    Eisha

    August 19, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    Hi, I can’t seem to leave a comment on this page, and I am in desperate need of some advice

  15. Avatar

    Eisha

    August 19, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    Hello,
    I have read everything I need to on getting my ex back, I have initiated the NC Rule, however what is most unique about my situation that I have not yet found an answer for is, my ex boyfriend has told me I am the perfect girl…just at the wrong time in his life. We are both 26, and he said that he wants to have sex with more girls than just me before he decides to settle down. He says he sees himself marrying me, but right now just wants to be single. We had the most perfect relationship – never argued. But he said he wanted more than what we had.
    I don’t know what to do in terms of waiting for him to be ready? And I desperately need a little guidance because I can’t find a my help for my situation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  16. Avatar

    Kerry

    July 31, 2019 at 4:55 pm

    Hi Chris

    So we broke up over a month ago and I’ve being doing all the wrong things. He told me it’s the end our our chapter and I should not even think of hoping to be with him in future or at all. We are in the same lecture class and in the same group project so the NC is pretty hard to do. Although I feel like he is moving on and has set his mind to not think of getting hack with me again. I still see a future with him. We dated for over a year and had plans together. This was out first break up and no once cheated. We just argued a lot of which he got tired of. Anyway, he really has been on and off. He tries to be mature by greeting me because we have mutual friends but I know if he had the choice we would not be talking at all…
    Please help

  17. Avatar

    42

    July 12, 2019 at 5:55 pm

    42 and in a bad spot .
    I’ve been thoroughly reading your website to find a article related to my situation.
    Do I ask directly here? Or ask my question, It’s a interesting situation and i can assure you, you’d like to pick this one apart.

  18. Avatar

    Adele

    July 6, 2019 at 7:56 pm

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me about three weeks ago after having a really wonderful relationship for the past 6 months. I’m several years older than him, and was really reluctant to start a relationship because age sometimes really has a lot to do with where a person is in life in regards to goals and drive. Nonetheless, we had a really loving relationship. We spent a lot of time together going out, staying in, and always laughing.

    I was surprised about the breakup. I knew he was pulling away, and instead of giving him space, I leaned in and made myself available whenever he was so we could spend time together. I wanted him to have as much face time so he could stay tuned into how much fun we have together. Big mistake. I should have given him some space and stayed true to the woman I am. But I was motivated by fear and now I’m doing my best to implement the strategies you have all over your site.

    I’ve stuck to No Contact for a solid three weeks. I’ve posted a couple of pictures to social media, and I’ve been staying active and working out.

    I have some challenges with my relationship. We live in completely different parts of town, so I don’t have a chance of running into him. And although we are both social people, we didn’t really have a lot of mutual friends. I feel like my opportunity for an in-person interaction would be to invite him to have coffee or a drink.

    I’m pretty confident he will respond positively. Like I said before, before he started pulling away, we had a really loving relationship. We went on plenty of adventures, didn’t fight, and had a lot of physical chemistry.

    My biggest question is, what do I do about the pictures I have of the two of us on social media? I know having the pictures I do on my Instagram would likely scare off a new potential guy. But I don’t know if I should remove them from account, and if the answer is yes, when? Before or after I ask him to meet up?

  19. Avatar

    vir

    July 4, 2019 at 7:06 am

    hi Chris,
    I hv met this guy on dating apps. We live in diff country.
    Before this, he is ex student in my country for 10yrs and have move back to his current country to start work.
    He actually plan to visit my country for some bussines and he did came and we met for 12days. 1month before we met , he said he love me and we have video calls and lots of texts. His character didnt change even after we met . I remember him saying to me, I never thought i can love some one like this after 8yrs. He actually have bad breakup with his ex trying to kill him which happen 8yrs ago. He try to make new relationships but his own words said i have bad luck on this things. As in my 12days knowing him face to face, i realize he had anxiety and OCD but not that serious. My own feeling with him, he the best guy I date before , we had really great time together. He even announce our relationship in social media (snapchat) ,he use the apps frequently and his close frend and his mum.

    12day gone, he went back to his country, he even text me once he reach his country. The next day, this is confusing part for me. i text him but he not replying quickly as he did before. Time pass by almost a day, when I text him again , he reply im busy work. but I know he not busy, cause he have time reply comment joke with his fb frend on same day.

    I get angry, then i text him. do you still love me?, then he remain silent again for few hours.

    Again i ask him same question. he said im busy wit work tired need to sleep now. i reply him , you got time with your fb frend why cant reply simple text. he then got angry, said we better be juz a frend not a couples.

    Day 2.
    i text normal gud morning, how was ur day. he still remain silent. again 2nd text is night time at his country. he did reply me, im sleeping now , repeated twice.

    day 3
    I text him again. my intention want to discuss .
    but i got angry becuase he again try to avoid me with same reason busy work. he then reply me if u accept us become frend then I msg u back

    day 4
    i accept because i dont wanna lose him.on that same day he casually text me he want to find new gf reason he getting old.

    Chris,

    what is this. is he play game with me from beginning. i dont understand
    he is 32yr and im 30yrs. both have good career, same religion. both of us good looking.

    i want him back. its past 8days i dont text him

  20. Avatar

    Sharrah

    June 20, 2019 at 6:19 am

    Hi
    Me and my boyfriend are broken up for a little over 2 months, after the first month he came back but things didn’t work and he broke up with me again, the first time even though he had blocked me he unblocked me soon after so I could make him miss me, but this time it’s been a long time that I have been blocked so I really don’t know what to do to make him miss me and at least reach out to me, please help

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