How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all.

I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish a specific goal. In addition to that, I am extremely involved on this site. Me and my team respond to every comment personally and as long as your comment relates to the topic that my “in-depth guide” covers you should get a response within a day (unless it’s the weekend.)

Now, I know that’s a bit of a shocking statement to make especially when you consider the state of the “get your back niche” these days. I mean, just the other day I was doing research on a forum and I saw hundreds of women NOT getting answered. But I really feel that’s what makes Ex Boyfriend Recovery different from the rest.

We have a whole team dedicated to upholding our “motto,” if you will.

What’s our motto?

That everyone who comes to the site to read, watch, or comment should be helped and attended to.

Oh… how rude of me.

Perhaps I should introduce you to “The Ex Recovery Team.”

team members

Now, throughout this article you may notice that a few of our team members chime in and offer little tidbits of advice on top of the advice that I am dishing out. Don’t be alarmed by that.

You are still learning from me, Chris Seiter, it’s just that I always think five heads are better than one.

But perhaps I shouldn’t get too touchy feely here. You are here for a reason after all and that reason is to make your ex boyfriend miss you.

So, since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

I Am Going To Coach You… For FREE!

And that’s where I come in!

Secret 4 Step Training

What if I were to tell you that I have put together an “On Demand Coaching Class” where I am going to coach you for free?

All you need to do if you want to join my FREE coaching class is click the green button below,

Yes, I Want You To Coach MeSign Up For Free On Demand Coaching

I thought would be kind of cool to show you some of the actual results women have gotten through my “On Demand Coaching,”

Oh, and if you were wondering “Jennifer Christina” is my wife 😉 .

This is another Facebook testimonial from someone who is on the Private Facebook Group.

I’ve got about 300 more Facebook testimonials just like this.

If you are interested in joining my Free On Demand Coaching please click the link below,

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February 1, 2017

1 - Will Making An Ex Boyfriend Miss You Help You Win Him Back?

You are here to learn about how to make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

If you are then this makes me assume that ultimately you want your ex boyfriend back. After all, why else would you want to make him miss you?

(Well, I suppose getting revenge on him is an answer here but lets just assume that, that isn’t the reason you want to make him miss you.)

The thinking goes a little like this,

“If I make him miss me then eventually he will realize that he wants to be back in a relationship with me.”

So, lets do a little role playing here and assume that you end up taking the advice I teach on this page to heart and successfully make your ex boyfriend miss you.

Do you think he will come back?

Do you think making him miss you alone will be enough?

Unfortunately no…

Don’t get me wrong, you will absolutely have to make your ex miss you if you want any chance of winning him back but it isn’t going to be enough alone.

Think of it like a puzzle.

In order to get your ex boyfriend back you need to put the entire puzzle together,

puzzle

However, simply getting your ex boyfriend to miss you is essentially like trying to put a puzzle together with just one piece.

It’s impossible.

But that’s why you need a reference guide to teach you to put all the pieces together. So, The Ex Recovery Team and I have put together an entire book for doing just that.

It’s called,

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Think of it like the ultimate step by step game plan for getting your ex back. It takes you through the process from start to finish. It gives you all the puzzle pieces and covers just about every situation you can think of.

Seriously…

Take a look at the situations we cover in PRO,

  • You Cheated
  • They Cheated
  • You Cheated On Each Other
  • Long Distance
  • Being Blocked
  • He/She Has A New Girlfriend/Boyfriend
  • If You Slept With Them
  • Engagement
  • If They Are In The Army
  • If You Have A Child Together
  • If You Have Been Friend Zoned
  • How To Get Them Back After A Long Time Apart (1 Yr +)
  • They Broke Up With You
  • You Broke Up With Them
  • If You Work With Them
  • If Your Ex Just Got Divorced
  • If You Just Got Divorced
  • Getting Your Husband/Wife Back
  • If You Think You Were The Rebound
  • If They Were On The Rebound
  • What To Do If They Are Married
  • What If There Is An Age Gap
  • If You Are Pregnant (Women Only)
  • What If Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant (Men Only)
  • On Again/Off Again

But you are probably getting bored of hearing me talk about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO aren’t you? After all, you did come here to make your ex boyfriend back, right?

Well, then lets get right to it.

I give you the ultimate guide for making an ex boyfriend miss you.

Please enjoy it! Oh, and one thing we are really good about here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery is answering people’s questions. So, if you have any type of question about the process I am about to teach you feel free to ask us in the comments section of this article or you can ask Leia, our support rep at support@exboyfriendrecovery.com.

Lets dive in!

ExBoyfriend Recovery PRO

Get the Fairy Tale Feeling Back again with our Step-by-Step Guide to Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Learn More

2 - You Have A "Missing" Advantage Already

advantage

One of the things that I have always found fascinating when it comes to researching breakups is the scientific data that I come across. You see, I am one of those people who is low on faith.

Faith = Believing in something without seeing it.

And perhaps that’s a little strange for the profession that I have chosen since a lot of getting an ex back is all about believing in an outcome that hasn’t occurred yet.

Nevertheless, I think it would be wrong of me to try to teach you something without having proof it works which is why I find the scientific research done on breakups so fascinating.

So many insights can be derived from them.

Take The Brain Study As An Example…

Did you know that science has proven that after a breakup you experience the same type of feeling that a drug addict would feel if he/she was going through a withdrawal period?

In 2005, psychologist Art Aron, neurologist Lucy Brown, and anthropologist Helen Fisher all teamed up to do an interesting study on individuals who had just recently gone through a breakup.

They decided to have the individuals put a brain imaging tool on and then showed them pictures of their ex.

The scientists were trying to determine what was happening in the brain of the people who just went through the breakup.

The results were shocking.

The part of the brain that lit up was the same part of the brain that is commonly present in drug addicts who are going through withdrawal.

So, I guess it’s true what they say.

Love is a drug!

But one simple study probably isn’t enough to sway your opinion, huh?

Ok, lets dive in a little deeper and look at the interesting world of “Facebook Creeping”

The Facebook Creeper Statistic

GUILTY!

I have done this.

Hell, I think everyone does this after a breakup. It’s human nature to be curious about what your ex is up to post breakup. I remember in my circumstance with my most recent ex I would think to myself,

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.36.41 PM“I wonder if she is depressed… I bet she is. Let me look and find out.”

And ever since Facebook was invented it has become the ultimate tool for spying on on ex. Just ask Veronika Lukacs who conducted the study as part of her Media Studies Masters thesis, in which she looked at how many people have admitted to “Facebook Creeping” on an ex.

Now, if you don’t know what “Facebook Creeping” is it’s actually quite simple.

Facebook Creeping = Spying on an exes Facebook profile after a breakup to see what they are up to.

You won’t believe how many people admitted to creeping on their exes Facebook.

Nearly 90%!

(Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/28/nearly-90-percent-of-people-creep-facebook_n_1687424.html)

That’s incredible.

You realize what that means, right?

Well, it means that there is a nearly 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is going to come strolling by your Facebook profile assuming you are still friends there.

That’s amazing.

But again, I still feel this incredible need to provide you with overwhelming statistics before I specifically talk about the advantage you have.

The Overwhelming Statistics In Your Favor

pacman

Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much?

Now, does that necessarily mean that if your ex falls into the 71% category that he is going to be missing you?

No, remember, this statistic is basically just saying that 71% of people think about their exes too much. It doesn’t dive too deep into what he is thinking when he is missing you.

He could be thinking negative things…

He could be thinking positive things…

We just don’t know.

Nevertheless, thinking about an ex too much certainly is a start towards missing that ex.

But it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. So, this basically tells us that even if you are married you may still think about your ex too much.

What are my thoughts on this statistic?

Well, I think the important distinction that has to be made is if they are thinking about their ex TOO MUCH or just a little bit. I think it’s human nature to have your mind wander to the past and think about an ex.

Hell, I am sure even my own wife has had this happen from time to time but it’s not like she can turn her mind off.

No one can.

But there is a definite difference between having your mind take a small trip down memory lane and thinking about an ex all day every day.

I would be curious to hear what people defined as thinking “too much”

Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

Now I want to talk about your “Big Advantage”

The Big Advantage That You Have

I got pretty darn boring just now and threw out a bunch of statistics for you. The statistics were meant to prove one thing.

What The Statistics Prove = That even after a breakup, without you doing anything, your ex is thinking about you way too much

So, if your ex is thinking about you too much then you can ultimately use that to your advantage, right?

That’s your big advantage when it comes to making a man miss you. As a default, he is already thinking about you too much. So, that puts you in a pretty good place because many of you will find that it’s not going to take too much to get him to miss you.

Now, does that mean that it’s easy to make a man miss you?

Absolutely not.

There are a lot of factors involved.

But here is my vision.

Right now your ex, as a default, is thinking about you too much,

default

Now, imagine if you took an ex who was thinking about you too much and coupled it with a professional’s strategies,

My strategies

Making him miss you should be a piece of cake, right?

Well, there is still one more thing that I think we need to cover before I can give you the strategy you should implement and this is something that is going to be important for you to understand because it’s going to directly affect your chances for making him miss you.

The Number One Factor That Determines Whether He Misses You Or Not

Let’s role play.

Lets pretend that in your entire life you have only dated two men.

Man One – Was the great love of your life. He treated you like a queen, made you feel butterflies and as you were dating him you would often think to yourself, “I think he may be “The One.””

Man Two- You also loved Man Two but he did not treat you so well. Your entire relationship, while electric was full of fights. Man Two had a bad habit of putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself.

So, lets assume that you have broken up with both of these men.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.42.07 PMWhich one do you think you are more likely to miss?

Man One, right?

Why?

Because he treated you like a queen and your overall relationship with him was better.

And that brings me to my ultimate point.

Without a doubt the number one factor that determines whether a man will miss you or not is always going to be your past relationship with him.

Now, I am not like those other relationship experts out there that will tell you what you want to hear 100% of the time.

If you had a horrible relationship with your ex your chances of having him miss you is going to be lower. That’s just the way it is. Of course, if you had a great relationship with him your chances will be higher.

So, it works both ways.

The Secret Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup

secret

Ok, one more thing to talk about before we can start getting down to the actual strategy of making an ex boyfriend miss you.

Did you know that you have a “secret advantage” if you were actually the one to initiate the breakup with your ex?

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

1. He Can Break Up With You- Where your ex boyfriend actually is the one to initiate the break up.

2. You Can Break Up With Him- Where YOU actually are the one to initiate the break up with him.

3. You Both Mutually Agree To Break Up- This one is where you both break up mutually. No side strikes first.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup.

We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct.

When I get to talking about the no contact rule (really soon) I am going to talk about psychological reactance.

But I suppose I can give you an early taste here since it is definitely going to apply.

Psychological reactance theory basically states that when you take away someones options to do something their attraction to gain their freedom to get that option back increases.

Think of it like this.

Lets say you are walking in the store with a toddler named Ricky (no idea why I picked that name but bear with me here.) Ricky tugs on your pants and points to a toy saying,

“I want that toy!”

You immediately say,

“No, you can’t have that toy.”

Well, now that, Ricky’s freedom to have that toy has been taken away what does he want more than anything?

The toy!

This is psychological reactance in a nutshell.

So, by breaking up with your ex you actually increase the chances that he will miss you because his freedom to have you has been taken away.

Pretty interesting, right?

Of course, there is one case where this might not work as well.

The ONE Case Where You Might Not Have This Advantage

If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

Cheating is one of those topics that is difficult for everyone involved (including me an impartial third party.)

“Wait, why is it hard for you?”

Easy, it’s hard because I am the one that has to come up with the game plan for putting a “cheating couple” back together. Thus, I have to do a lot of research on the topic to determine the best way to proceed.

So, like I said above, you probably aren’t going to have this secret advantage if you broke up with your ex if he cheated on you.

Why?

Because clearly something went wrong with your relationship.

Generally speaking people don’t cheat on a whim.

It’s not like a guy wakes up one day and goes,

“ALRIGHTY! Today is the day I cheat on my girlfriend.”

It’s usually a slow process that takes place over months. And for a man to cheat on you generally means that the wasn’t fully satisfied with the relationship.

Now, does that mean that he never loved you if he cheated on you?

No, Esther Perel, has dedicated pretty much her whole life to studying infidelity and she has found that oftentimes men and women who cheat are still in love with their partner. They just want more excitement in their sex lives.

Now, take that whatever way you want.

I am going to take it as if there is a fundamental problem with your relationship because in my mind a man who is fully satisfied with his relationship will be excited and engaged in his sex life with his partner.

Nevertheless, if you broke up with your ex because he cheated then you aren’t going to have this small little advantage that I am talking about.

Now lets look at the other side of the coin.

The ONE Case Where You Will Absolutely Have The Secret Advantage

If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

Above I established that the the secret advantage that I keep talking about heavily revolves around this idea of “psychological reactance.”

And to be honest I can’t think of situation that screams “taking a mans freedom to have you away” more than this one.

If you broke up with your ex boyfriend when he didn’t want you to break up with him then you have definitely left him with the impression that you are a very rare commodity.

It’s a bit of that law of scarcity.

You will find that the more scarce you are the more attractive you will be to men in general.

It’s the same way that diamonds are so attractive to women.

It’s the fact that they look pretty AND they are very rare.

I mean, something tells me that you wouldn’t find a diamond so attractive if you go buy it for a dollar at the dollar store.

Anyways, lets move on to the meat of this guide.

How to make a man miss you after a breakup!

3 - The "Make Him Miss You" Strategy

I want you to take a look at the graphic below,

strategy

Pretty straightforward, right?

“Umm Chris… no it’s not.”

Well, don’t worry. It will be because I am going to break it down for you.

The “BIG” strategy for making your ex boyfriend miss you is divided up into four different parts,

1. The No Contact Rule
2. Social Media Game
3. The “Frank Sinatra Effect”
4. Jealousy Tactics

Lets start from the top!

4 - PART ONE: The No Contact Rule

(For more in-depth information on the No Contact Rule and how to PROPERLY put it into practice please check out the No Contact Rule Book)

talk to me

Throughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme.

Hell, I even wrote an entire book about it (The No Contact Rule Book.)

But why is it such a big theme?

Why do I talk about it so much?

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.49.58 PMWell that’s easy to answer. The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most successful strategies for getting an ex back. A few weeks ago I compiled all of my recorded success stories to try to determine any correlations that I could find between what the people who had actually won their exes back were doing that the people who were failing weren’t.

Turns out the no contact rule was present in 74% of the successes.

But to be honest I think that number is actually a lot higher than that.

Why?

Because a portion of the success stories that I had recorded didn’t give me much information.

They just said something like,

“Thanks, I got my ex back.”

Not really deep enough for me to determine what that particular person did to succeed in getting their ex back, huh?

Don’t believe me?

Ok, here is a sample of one of the “thin” success stories that I got,

testimonial-9

 

 

So, if you were to ask my opinion on how many of the successes used the no contact rule I would put the number closer to 90%. Whatever the case, one thing is very clear.

The no contact rule is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.

But how does it make him miss you?

Good question.

In order to answer that I think we first need to define the no contact rule.

The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for a specific period of time. If during that “period of time” you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond. The no contact rule serves three main purposes. It gives both of you a “cool off period” to calm down from the breakup, it gives you the opportunity to improve yourself during the “cool off period” and it raises the chances that he will miss you.

Sounds simple, right?

WRONG!

The no contact rule is without a doubt the hardest strategy to complete on this site.

Hell, all you have to do is visit one of my “no contact rule” pages to see just how many women are struggling with it.

But you don’t care about that do you?

No, you care about the psychology behind why the no contact rule can make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

Ok, lets tackle that right now.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

I want you to ask me a question.

The question = Chris, what is the number one mistake you see people making after a breakup.

WOW, thanks for asking that amazing question 😉 .

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 3.18.52 PMThe number one mistake that I see people making after a breakup is begging. They beg for their exes back. The become GNATS and just stick around.

I mean, put yourself in your ex boyfriends shoes for a second assuming that you were bugging the hell out of him after a breakup with you.

Would you find it attractive if someone you didn’t have feelings for anymore was bugging you every five seconds trying to convince you to do something you didn’t want to do?

Something tells me you wouldn’t.

Now, how does this play into making an ex miss you?

Easy, a man cannot miss that which he sees every day.

One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

I know it’s kind of a weird choice when there are way more epic movies out there but for some reason “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

What can I say… I dig revenge stories.

Truthfully, I watch the movie at least once a year and you know what causes me to watch it?

Something reminds me of it and then I think to myself,

“Man, that movie was so good I miss the feeling that it gave me. Maybe I should watch it.”

But I only have that thought because I haven’t seen it in a long time. Lets say that I watched it every day for a year. I can tell you right now that at that point it wouldn’t be my favorite movie anymore. No, it would probably end up being my most hated movie. It would become stale and I would grow sick of it.

By not giving your ex a chance to miss you, via the no contact rule, you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The No Contact Rule Makes You More Attractive (I Can Prove It)

Have you ever heard of the notion that “people want what they can’t have?”

People want “that” which they feel should belong to them. By taking something away from them (e.g. you make yourself unavailable by not communicating), the person will be motivated to pursue.

In the world of psychology, it’s called “Psychological Reactance”. This concept emerged from the work of the American psychologist, Jack Brehm in 1966.
“Brehm argues that individuals have a set of “free behaviors” that they believe they can engage in at present or some time in the future. Behavioral freedoms vary in importance, with some being highly important because they deal with critical survival. Stephen Worchel (2004) suggested that these freedoms help define the individual’s self-identity. A threat or elimination of freedom results in an increase of attractiveness of the forbidden act and the motivation to engage in that behavior.” http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G2-3045302191.html In really simple terms, when you implement the No Contact Strategy, it’s like you are secretly saying, “You can’t have me. You can’t talk to me. I am depriving you of your freedom to be with me”.

With psychological reactance in play, your Ex is secretly thinking, “I want what you say I can’t have. It should belong to me and is part of me, so I will pursue it”

Ah, and that leads the way to another little hypothesis that I have.

According to psychological reactance your ex is going to want what he can’t have. We have already established that. But lets take a trip to fantasy land (your favorite place in the world) and say that you successfully get your ex back.

I have this theory that the harder you make it for him to get you back the more he will appreciate you when he has you.

My buddies first car is an example.

I had a friend who wanted a car more than anything when he was 16 years old. So, he spent an entire summer mowing peoples yards to get money to buy this beat up chevy truck that kind of looked like this,

old beat up chevy truck

Pretty crappy, right?

Here’s the thing.

He treated that car so good and he loved it more than anything. Hell, even now he reminisces about it. But I doubt he would have treated it so well if it had just been gifted to him.

In fact, there was one time that I asked him flat out,

“Why do you like this truck so much?”

His response was simple…

“Because I had to work so hard to get it. Dude, you have no idea how hard it was to scrounge up the money to buy this thing.”

So, here is my theory when it comes to you and your ex.

The harder you make it for him to get you back the more he is going to appreciate you once he gets you back. After all, I doubt you are in this to get your ex back and break up again, right? No, you want a relationship that is going to last.

And the no contact rule can provide that difficulty for him to succeed in getting you back.

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

5 - PART TWO: Social Media Game

(For more in-depth information on how to use social media to get your ex back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

And now we move on to our second part of the strategy, social media,

strategy social media

Now, if you are confused as to what this is let me give you a quick history of social media.

Since the internet started… (No just kidding. I wouldn’t bore you to death with that.)

Look, here’s the deal.

Social media is an excellent way to make your ex miss you.

How?

Well, above I established that close to 90% of exes “creep” on Facebook. In other words, the probability that your ex boyfriend is going to peek at your profile at some point post breakup is high.

So, why not prepare for that moment?

Why not pimp out your profile to be everything that he finds attractive in a woman.

How To Make Your Social Media Profile Perfect

I want to tell you a funny story that happened to my wife yesterday.

So, if you don’t know my wife she is in charge of our YouTube channel and our marketing experts. In other words, if we want to get featured anywhere popular she is in charge of making that happen.

Well, one day she decided that we should be featured on “Ted Talks” so she started trying to network with some of the people over at “Ted Talks” and she managed to locate one of the person’s Facebook profiles.

So, rather than asking me to reach out directly she decided that since this person was a man it would be better if she reached out since she knows she is a very beautiful woman.

There was just one problem.

This was her Facebook profile picture,

profile picture

Now, I don’t know about you but that’s not going to make any man fall over himself. Well, except maybe me (that’s my daughter.) My wife, of course, knew this so she decided to change the picture to something really sexy like this,

ellas grove

That’s my wife in a model shoot for some clothing company named Ella’s Grove.

Anyways, what do you think happened to her after she changed her profile picture on Facebook from our child to a sexy looking picture of her.

All the men went wild (myself included.)

She was getting comments like,

comment 1

comment 2

comment 3

Ok, first off… what the fu*k?

Looks like I have to beat some people up.

COME SEBASTIAN!

We have some work to do!

sebastion

No I am just kidding…

Please don’t take that seriously.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.57.49 PMThe point of telling you this story was to show you how powerful a picture can be. You can potentially make your ex boyfriend one of those men and show him what he is missing out on by posting strategic pictures on your social media profiles.

So, here is what I am going to do.

I am going to teach you my two best methods for catching a mans attention via social media.

1. The Profile Picture Change
2. The “Fun” Picture

Lets start with the profile picture change.

The Profile Picture Change

This is what my wife did and indirectly got all that attention from men.

Now, I am going to pick on myself a bit here.

Before I met my wife I heavily relied on good looks to attract attention. In other words, any picture I posted to Facebook looked like this,

not a good picture

Now, even though this picture isn’t bad it isn’t earth shatteringly amazing which is what I should be going for.

And then I met my wife….

The woman who forced me to get professional pictures done.

Like this,

professional pictures

Do you see the difference.

This is the kind of picture that I want you to be posting to your social media profile as your profile picture. Here is my general rule of thumb, any picture that makes you look like you belong in a magazine is definitely the one you should have as your profile picture.

So, I guess what I am saying is that you should hire a professional photographer to take your picture. Now, for those of you who don’t want to step outside the comfort zone and hire a photographer I have one piece of advice to you.

Often times it’s the things that make us step outside our comfort zone that yield the best results.

The “Fun” Picture

I have a question for you.

What do you think your ex boyfriend expecting you to do after the breakup?

He’s expecting you to mope around and be depressed.

Don’t believe me?

I remember an early breakup of mine where this is exactly what I thought.

“God I hope she is suffering.”

Pretty mean, right?

But when I would spy on her Facebook profile and see that she wasn’t depressed it would drive me nuts. I want this exact thing to unfold for you when your ex boyfriend snoops around your profile.

So, how can you accomplish this?

Easy, post pictures of yourself out having fun.

Here is a great example. Look at the picture below,

These girls like they are having fun. This is the kind of picture you want to post.

Because here is what he is going to think when he sees it,

“Wait, why is she out having fun? Why isn’t she sitting at home eating ice cream like I thought?”

Once you get him thinking that this thought is right around the corner,

“I’m kind of jealous…”

And as I am going to establish later in this guide jealousy can lead to a man missing you.

6 - PART THREE: The Frank Sinatra Effect

(For more in-depth information on The Frank Sinatra Effect check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

frank sinatra

One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from a man by the name of Frank Sinatra.

“The best revenge in life is massive success.”

Now, what does that have to do with making an ex boyfriend miss you?

Good question.

In order for me to answer it I first need to tell you a story. To me, teaching people to get back with their exes is my passion and in order for me to give people advice I need to understand the trends.

What works and what doesn’t work.

So, that’s why I am always keeping an eye on your comments and questions to me. But the one thing that warms my heart more than anything are the success stories!

Not just because I helped people get back together but I can learn so much from them.

Anyways, one trend that I began to notice with a lot of my success stories was the fact that the women who ended up succeeding were actually completely moved on from the break up and living successful lives.

It’s sort of like it was at this point that their ex finally woke up and saw their worth.

Hell, I even did an entire podcast about this phenomenon here.

Anyways, I kept seeing this phenomenon pop up again and again so when I did an audit of my success stories last month I learned that a lot of women who had actually completely moved on from their exes were able to get him back.

It sounds counter intuitive, right?

But maybe not.

Lets turn our attention back to psychological reactance.

By moving on from an ex boyfriend completely you are indirectly saying to him,

“You cannot have me. You have lost the freedom to have me.”

Which of course as you know, will only make him want you more.

And that’s where the Frank Sinatra effect comes into play.

I want you to “move on” without moving on if that makes any sense. I want you to live an incredible life outside of your relationship with your ex.

Here are a few of my best tips for doing this.

Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You During The Frank Sinatra Effect

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you while in the midst of the Frank Sinatra Effect. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control.

When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape

There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying that you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Pretty shallow I know…

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. Anyways, I was walking with my buddy when she yelled my name and we started talking. After we were done talking we went our separate ways and I remember my buddy going,

“Dude she is sooo HOT why did you let that one slip through your fingers?”

I explained that she didn’t look like that back when I knew her but now that I saw this new and improved version I wanted her immediately.

So, I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her which was relatively easy because she liked me (or so I thought.)

Anyways, we set up a relatively simple date to go on at a restaurant. The plan was that we were going to meet there and we would probably go for a walk after that. There was just one problem.

She never showed up.

During the day of the date I had reached out to her to ask if we were still on (BIG MISTAKE) and got no response…. the hours inched closer to kickoff and I still hadn’t heard from her. I was starting to get worried so like an insecure guy I reached out to her again,

“Hey, are we on for tonight?”

No response..

It was starting to become clear that I was going to get stood up if I went to the restaurant but I figured I would give it one more try.

“Are you there?”

Again no response…

She didn’t want to go on a date with me.

Ironic, huh?

Karma I guess!

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period (which is when you should probably be in the Frank Sinatra mindset) make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much.

Just focus on the most important thing, you.

If you were to ask me what I thought one of the biggest mistakes that I see women engaging in are I would definitely have to say that becoming to obsessed with their ex is at the top of the list.

In order to truly “move on, without moving on” you can’t be too worried about what your ex is doing. You need to be worrying about what you are doing.

I haven’t talked a lot about this yet because maybe I am trying to save something for my book. but maybe I think it’s too good to leave out.

If you really want to make the most of the Frank Sinatra effect I am going to teach you an amazing strategy. Well, perhaps strategy isn’t the right word to explain this. No, I would say this is more of a philosophy.

I like to call it…

“The Holy Trinity”

(Oh, and this is not biblical at all I promise.)

You can divide the most important aspects of your life into three categories,

HWR

  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

I don’t have to explain what is comprised of the categories, do I?

Well, I will tell you what, I am just going to leave my book for that.

Basically if you want to utilize the Frank Sinatra effect to the fullest I recommend that you try to maximize these three areas of your life.

You will notice that in the graphic above there is an intersection of the three.

The intersection where all three meet.

Hmm…

Perhaps it’s better if I pointed to it for you,

HWR copy

What you are trying to do here is find a perfect balance between your health, wealth and relationships. By doing so you will jump up in attractiveness to your ex.

Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and work on the holy trinity for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life

You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.

or

B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.”

Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.

7 - PART FOUR: Jealousy Tactics

(For more in-depth information on how to use jealousy to get your ex boyfriend back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

jealousy

A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way.

It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

If you want to learn more about what you can text your ex boyfriend I recommend checking out “The Texting Bible.

Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you do not be afraid to comment in our comments section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally.

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (5,364)

  1. Cansas B - 0

    Cansas B

    My boyfriend just broke up with me for the second time in a year. He said “it’s for the best, U don’t see it now but U will eventually”, “it’s not because I don’t love you, care for you, want to be with you or think your not attractive” “it’s unhealthy, we fight so much” “my gut tells me we’ll go down the same path” “I have to listen to my gut” “I want you to be happy on ur own” …our relationship wasn’t horrid. I did this program the last time and it worked. I don’t want to give up on him or us. We have lacking areas but he truely is my best friend and I thought we were growing better and better. I have had my doubts about us but they were never strong enough to say goodbye. I never want to say goodbye to him. I can’t imagine my life without him in it. Right now in my life I still want him. This time around it was mutual but then I said no I don’t want it and he still did. We talked maturely and he said he has to think (although everything’s he verbally told me was about his gut telling him not to do it…makes me feel so wanted). I know he will message me in the next couple of days and say it’s for the best again. He did it the last time. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. He has such a special place in my heart and idk if I can go two months broken up like the last time and the thought of it being permanent is even worse. It’s been a roller coaster ride but I love this man with every ounce of me. I became less dependent on him and I thought we were doing well.

    Reply
    • Cansas B - 0

      Cansas B

      I’m also in school now living on my own. We were only seeing eachother once or a couple times a week because we live about an hour and twenty minutes apart from my student house to his house. 35 mins from my parents to his house. He said he doesn’t want me to regret these years because they should be full of happiness etc. I think I didn’t appreciate him enough and verbally/physically show him that in order for him to think I am happy. Thinking of him being with someone else KILLS me because I thought we would end up together. Although, at the beginning I wud say “yes I can see myself marrying him” and then recently I was saying I couldn’t. But what do I do if I don’t want this to be the end for us? So many ppl walk in and out of my life and I don’t want him to be one. I hate that he thinks he knows what’s best for me. And I kept googling signs u know u should move on but I can’t say goodbye!!!! I still feel like we’re dating because it wasn’t bad!! Like I don’t understand

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Cansas B,

      The key to what he said is that, he’s tried with all of the fighting.. Maybe if he sees during and after nc that you sticked to your own routine of improving yourself, that you have your own life, he will see you differently and not the person that always fights with him.

  2. Kate - 0

    Kate

    My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago. We have broken up before, about a year prior, and a couple weeks after that split, I found out I was pregnant. We didn’t get back together but we lost the baby, in which he took care of me and my other Child while I was recovering. That rekindled our intimacy towards each other and we reconciled and he moved back in. Things had their ups and downs and I battled depression for a long time during it. There were things both of us did to push each other away, and there were things both of us did to pull each other back.
    This recent break up, I confronted some negative feelings I had. He ultimately told me that he “loved me sometimes, but not all of the time.” I do not know what that means, do you?
    I was very upset hearing that and told him that was not something I could accept and that we should break up. We ended up talking some, going to bed and having sex. The next morning was normal, playing with my son and having fun together. We had a date planned that night so my parents picked up my son for the night. We had passionate sex after he left and we took a nap. When we woke up, I asked if he was still wanting to go out. He hesitated and asked if I wanted to go out. I replied that I did. He didn’t really say anything after that so I told him if he wasn’t going to take me out, I was going to go out on my own. While I started getting ready, he came in the bathroom and he was dressed. I asked him if he was leaving and he said “yeah, I guess.” All I said was “ok, then,” and continued to get ready.
    He took all of his belongings, save for a few movies and books and didn’t leave his key to our apt. As he left, he gave me $100 and said that was to help pay for bills for the rest of the month. I told him I didn’t want his pity money, but he left it anyways. I have a broken door and he said he would fix it later on. We haven’t spoken since, I’m implying the NC rule. He hasn’t contacted me, either. I think I want him back, because I do love him and we talked about marriage and kids. My son loves him very much too. We had been together for almost 2 years, lived together for about 1.5 years of it.
    It has been a week today. If he doesn’t contact me before 30 days, should I go ahead and contact him?
    And what the hell does it mean when he says he “loves me sometimes?!”
    I am using this time to improve myself. Reading these articles, working out, eating healthy, working on myself as a person such as reading and listening to things to help me be a better listener, communicator, not being a negative or passive aggressive person (which I can be.)
    Advice please! 🙂

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kate,

      maybe what he meant is that he doesn’t feel as strongly in love with you at some times compared to other times.. it can also mean, he finds somethings that you do or about you that he doesn’t like or it can mean he’s feelings are fading.. Yes, you can initiate contact after nc.. I think there’s still a chance because it looked like he just left out of pride.

  3. V - 0

    V

    So, a few months ago, maybe Aug-Sept 2016? I asked Amor about going NC on my ex who was suffering from depression. He messaged me on recently midnight the 15th Feb: “how are you doing, to be honest I miss you”. To which I answered the day later “Im feeling fantastic. I miss you too.” Was that a stupid move? I am being honest. Haven’t heard back from him. Its one on those things where Im not sure if the program would work when depression is the culprit. Any advice?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI V,

      nope, that’s not a bad move.. What happened after that?

  4. KAM - 0

    KAM

    I dated a man for four months. He was the one to say he wanted me to be his girlfriend. He was the first one to say I love you (after a month) Everything about us was great, we always had a great time together, we rarely disagreed, we preferred a lot of the same things. During the holidays I became very anxious and starting questioning his feelings for me which was extremely frustrating for him as time went on. I was also interviewing for a new position at work and trying to be the perfect girlfriend and friend and daughter and employee during the holidays while struggling financially and trying to afford Christmas. Needless to say I was stressed! We had our first big fight a few days after the new year. This created even more doubt in his feelings for me. In the following weeks my doubt caused more friction and we dealt with an emergency intervention for his alcoholic roommate. Throughout this time he assured me that we would work together to get through this and that he loved me. We had talked about marriage and he even got a second job to help save for a ring. He was talking about how his house would change and be rearranged when I moved in, asking where I thought things should go and where a tv would fit in the room and what not. I called him one morning feeling extremely uneasy and he got angry with my confession. He ignored me the entire day and night and the next day broke up with me stating he wasn’t happy and didn’t want to make this work and hat he had been feeling this way for a few weeks. It also came out during our breakup that he has never been alone and has gone from girl to girl to girl. (He’s 33 years old). He unfriended and unfollowed me on social media and deleted every picture that was evidence of my existence. I’ve gone 7 days no contact. We live one street apart from each other. I flip flop as to whether I think he will change his mind or not. Is he gone for good?!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kam,

      what’s more important now is that you focus in improving yourself..because if he is gone for good, worrying about is not going to increase your chances of getting him back

  5. Gins - 0

    Gins

    My boyfriend of 13 yrs has moved out. I’m sure if it’s for good or not yet. Last summer we split for 3 months. I was gutted. After three months we worked through things and he came home… Everything has been wonderful since then. Until… Someone told me had slept with a woman 20 days after we split and he carried on sleeping with her for a few weeks. I asked and he denied it. But my gut instinct said there was something in it. So I asked her.. Anyway after 3 days of lies and the picture unfolding I found it to be true. I asked him to leave again. He says he deeply regrets it and lying about it. He didn’t want upset our great relationship we have now. But it was the lies above all hurt me. We are talking a bit.. And I’m not angry.. I’m not even 100% sure I want him if he can lie like that to me. But I do love him dearly and he me. What can I do to heal this … Thanks x

    Reply
  6. Giselle - 0

    Giselle

    Hi I asked a question on here and it got deleted?!

    Reply
  7. Giselle - 0

    Giselle

    Hi team,

    I’ll try to cut it as short as I possibly can. My issue is a little unique, so I need professional help.

    So, my “boyfriend” had been chasing me for 3 years! A year ago I finally decided to give him a chance. I was still not attracted to him whatsoever, but wanted a time pass, so I gave him a chance. The reason I put boyfriend in quotation marks is because since this day it was never really exclusive in my mind, which ultimately led to the problem.

    He has loved me for a good few years and told me this soon after we started talking. During this time though I was still in contact with other men. I guess I was keeping my options open, but my “boyfriend” wouldn’t know anything about this.. or so I thought.

    I would always be very harsh with him and very open about the fact that I wasn’t attracted to him. He didn’t mind this as he was happy to be given a chance to prove himself at least. Soon after he told me he loved me, he asked me to marry me. I declined as I wasn’t ready and not 100% convinced of my feelings for him. I was still sort of leading him on at this point. He was patient through it all. He was always very kind and understanding and till this day we haven’t slept together because I didn’t want to. He was always trying to make me say the words “I love you”.
    Then I started falling for him. Very recently (2 months ago) I told him I loved him. We started talking about marriage, kids, the future and all things related. He continued to propose to me and propose to me and propose to me. I declined everytime because I still was/am not ready. He’s 27 and I’m 26, btw. Throughout all of this though, I would still see other men and occasionally sleep with them. I guess I kind of justified it as him still having to chase me like he had all those years. It was never completely exclusive in my mind. I wouldn’t tell him this. He always suspected it though and would always be very suspicious of me. Nevertheless, he stuck around.

    It wasn’t always perfect though, he would always accuse me of lying to him about where and who I’m going out with. He caught me lying about a few other things as well, but that’s a separate issue. And he was right to be suspicious, but I wouldn’t tell him at all.

    Occasionally I would always play little mind games with him like threaten to leave him and ask for a “break”. He would always play to my tune and beg me to stay.

    So then the inevitable happened just a few hours ago. I texted him asking for yet another break. Again, he replied back “why another break?”. He begged me a little more to stay, then ALL OF A SUDDEN he told me he knew about the “cheating” and he was sick of the lying as well. He texted “ok let’s end it here”. These words had me in tears immediately as it was NOTHING like him to give up on us regardless of the circumstance. All of a sudden I made the mistake of begging him to stay, which is nothing like me. He travels a lot for a living so then all of a sudden he tells me that he’s going away anyway and he might not even come back. He would be very adamant on leaving, but then every now and then during our conversation he would say something confusing like “Either come with me or stay here and I leave”. Then he would say something like “I can’t have someone that has sex with others”. And then he would all of a sudden say “I’ll contact u when I’m gone. Maybe I will not sure”. He was all over the place. He has never seen me be like this before, begging him and so on. I got so emotional, which maybe I should’ve just kept my cool. I don’t know.
    Maybe now he’s on a power trip or something. He was acting so cold like I’ve never seen it before 🙁 I would keep asking him if he loved me or not and he wouldn’t answer me at all. He would just say that he has to leave tomorrow.

    This makes no sense because just 2 nights ago we were talking about marriage and kids and he proposed again wanting to ask my dad for my hand in marriage.

    Towards the end of the conversation he had me confused whether he was saying bye because he was leaving to go away or because he meant goodbye to “us”. I don’t know.

    He blocked me on Instagram immediately after. I blocked him on whatsapp (where we normally communicate on), but he hasn’t blocked me on whatsapp yet.

    What should I do now? What’s he thinking? Am I ever going to talk to him again? Is there hope????

    Thank you for any help in advance.

    Reply
    • Giselle - 0

      Giselle

      I forgot to say, I told him I cheated after he asked me. That’s how he knew about the cheating.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Giselle,

      it wasnt deleted. I just haven’t reached your first comment yet. But if you meant that you can see it before and it says waiting moderation and then it was gone, please confirm.

      For him, you were probably the abusive girlfriend, and then when he was hurt, he just cant help but throw your faults at you.. Click the link below. It suits your situation more.

      Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)

  8. Tracy - 0

    Tracy

    Hi… my ex broke up with me two weeks ago… we were each others first everything, first boyfriend/girlfriend, first kiss, first love, lost our virginity’s to each other… keep in mind we are both freshman in highschool. I his reasoning for breaking up was that we fight too much, I agree we did but we would fight and be over it in 20 minutes. We dated for a year… he tried to breakup with me at 6 months when he started liking another girl but when he saw me cry on FaceTime he took me back out of pity (I know, shouldn’t have begged) we dated for another 6 months and were worth it. What’s different about this time is he doesn’t love me anymore. He broke up with me and I begged for him back after two days of that he agreed to try it one more time. He went snowboarding the next day so I decided to give him some space and not text him, thinking he would text me when he wanted to. He never texted me we just stopped talking, he stopped waiting for me in school(we have two classes together) stopped looking at me, he completely cut me off. What made this so much more difficult for me is he was my best friend. my three best girl friends turned on me, cut me off. He is close with these three girls,and one of them was the one he had broken up with me for at our 6 months. He was all I had, I told him everything that was going on, cried to him, he was always there to talk to but would just sit there never would say anything bad about them. A week after we broke up he told one of his friends how ugly I was, called me a bitch, said he was glad all my friends turned on me because he will never be my friend. I know this is confusing and it’s just a highschool relationship but I really am in love with him. Nothing was ever awkward between us, he was my best and only friend. We haven’t talked for a week now I’m trying to use no contact but I feel like it’s just making him happy without me than missing me. He is going to parties, and is getting close with the girl who turned in me, and who he tried to leave me for. How am I supposed to make him jealous or miss me when I have no friends, and he said all of those horrible things about me. He was all I had, my school is very small. All my friends turned on me for no reason, I always thought I would have him and he looks like he’s doing even better without me. I feel so lost without him I know it’s just highschool and there will be plenty more but we were perfect for each other, have the same exact personalities, sense of humor, style, music taste, play the same sports. How can he not miss me, did I mean nothing to him?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Tracy,

      You need to widen your world.Not just because you’re young but because that’s how it should be with all of us. You’re actually blessed than most adults to learn this earlier. When you enter in a relationship, you cant lose yourself. You have to continually improve yourself, do your own thing, grow, see your friends and maintain a relationship at the same time.

      When you make him your world, that’s not love anymore. He becomes a necessity because you made him your sole source of happiness and connection. Do new things and make new friends. Improve yourself. Have a make over, join new classes whether online or in the weekends, explore new hobbies, be active in sports, study more. Do that first. Be active in posting your activities in social media. I think you should do at least 45 days..and then continue that routine while slowly rebuilding rapport.

      Ignore him as much as you can but if the situation forces you to be with him, be polite. If he asks something, answer politely short and direct. If he says he wants to be friends, tell him it’s not workable for now. If he wants to get back together, he has to apologize for all the bad things he said about you and dont stop your routine for him..

      I honestly dont want you to get back with him but if you get him back someday, dont lose yourself and dont stop growing. That goes for all the relationship you’re going to have.

  9. Julia - 0

    Julia

    My fiance and I are engaged for a year. We have been dating for 4yrs before the engagement. Recently we have been adjusting to new environment (he is officially ended sch finding new job and i am adjusting to new job) these three mths.

    We broke up three weeks ago. There were issues that were solvable but he insists that whatever situation he thinks, it couldn’t revert his decision of leaving. He didnt hear me out and he just left. He took back the ring. He said there is no third party and he said he loves me but the relationship is not strong.

    We didnt contact each other for three weeks. Please advise. It really hurts me but he don’t even know. I assume he felt that I dont love him.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Julia,

      why did you assume that? Even if you didn’t talk for 3 weeks, it was not focused in imoroving yourself. So start the count of no contact period after this and do 30 days. Be active in improving yourself and also in posting in social media

  10. Taylor (heart broken) - 0

    Taylor (heart broken)

    Hello, My boyfriend and I just broke up and it’s been about 48 hours. I had to announce his game last night since he plays volleyball and that was really hard to do, but I put a smile on and then cried when I got home.
    He ended things with me 2 days ago after about 1 year of dating and before we started dating, we had a year of just being hookup buddies and really good friends.
    He told me that he lost the fire of our relationship and hoped he would get it back. But since we practically lived together, meaning he stayed over ever night and we made meals together all the time and hung out with our friends together, I feel like it was just spending so much time together that it wore him down.
    I am a year older than he is and graduate college in May. He still has another year and we just exited the honeymoon stage so there were lots of things going on.
    However, when he told me he had lost the fire and been feeling that way for a couple weeks I was so shocked, but he also showed distance and cold shouldering.
    I feel like he swept everything under the rug and didn’t talk to me until it got to a boiling point and he broke up with me saying he needed to find himself and figure out what he wants to do because he is lost.
    I told him that I thought he was the one for me, and he said for awhile he thought I was too, but he just hadn’t been feeling that passion for a couple weeks. He said that I’m very outgoing and giggly and it was hard for him to reciprocate that because he felt he couldn’t give that to me..
    I haven’t spoken to him since he ended it with me and I plan to commit to the NC 30 day rule. I’m just wondering if I even have a shot here because he knows and has said he still cares so much about me a lot but he can’t give me the love that I want.
    I know I need to give him time since we spent so much of our time together but it’s so so so hard because I don’t know college without him and we have the same friends. Plus I really miss him…
    please help, I’ve read absolutely everything and I still feel crazy about him

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Taylor,

      I think that’s just it, that you spent so much time together, it got boring. So, I think you have a chance doing the no contact rule.

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