How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup

If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all.

I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish a specific goal. In addition to that, I am extremely involved on this site. Me and my team respond to every comment personally and as long as your comment relates to the topic that my “in-depth guide” covers you should get a response within a day (unless it’s the weekend.)

Now, I know that’s a bit of a shocking statement to make especially when you consider the state of the “get your back niche” these days. I mean, just the other day I was doing research on a forum and I saw hundreds of women NOT getting answered. But I really feel that’s what makes Ex Boyfriend Recovery different from the rest.

We have a whole team dedicated to upholding our “motto,” if you will.

What’s our motto?

That everyone who comes to the site to read, watch, or comment should be helped and attended to.

Oh… how rude of me.

Perhaps I should introduce you to “The Ex Recovery Team.”

team members

Now, throughout this article you may notice that a few of our team members chime in and offer little tidbits of advice on top of the advice that I am dishing out. Don’t be alarmed by that.

You are still learning from me, Chris Seiter, it’s just that I always think five heads are better than one.

But perhaps I shouldn’t get too touchy feely here. You are here for a reason after all and that reason is to make your ex boyfriend miss you.

So, since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

Will Making An Ex Boyfriend Miss You Help You Win Him Back?

You are here to learn about how to make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

If you are then this makes me assume that ultimately you want your ex boyfriend back. After all, why else would you want to make him miss you?

(Well, I suppose getting revenge on him is an answer here but lets just assume that, that isn’t the reason you want to make him miss you.)

The thinking goes a little like this,

“If I make him miss me then eventually he will realize that he wants to be back in a relationship with me.”

So, lets do a little role playing here and assume that you end up taking the advice I teach on this page to heart and successfully make your ex boyfriend miss you.

Do you think he will come back?

Do you think making him miss you alone will be enough?

Unfortunately no…

Don’t get me wrong, you will absolutely have to make your ex miss you if you want any chance of winning him back but it isn’t going to be enough alone.

Think of it like a puzzle.

In order to get your ex boyfriend back you need to put the entire puzzle together,


However, simply getting your ex boyfriend to miss you is essentially like trying to put a puzzle together with just one piece.

It’s impossible.

But that’s why you need a reference guide to teach you to put all the pieces together. So, The Ex Recovery Team and I have put together an entire book for doing just that.

It’s called,

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Think of it like the ultimate step by step game plan for getting your ex back. It takes you through the process from start to finish. It gives you all the puzzle pieces and covers just about every situation you can think of.


Take a look at the situations we cover in PRO,

  • You Cheated
  • They Cheated
  • You Cheated On Each Other
  • Long Distance
  • Being Blocked
  • He/She Has A New Girlfriend/Boyfriend
  • If You Slept With Them
  • Engagement
  • If They Are In The Army
  • If You Have A Child Together
  • If You Have Been Friend Zoned
  • How To Get Them Back After A Long Time Apart (1 Yr +)
  • They Broke Up With You
  • You Broke Up With Them
  • If You Work With Them
  • If Your Ex Just Got Divorced
  • If You Just Got Divorced
  • Getting Your Husband/Wife Back
  • If You Think You Were The Rebound
  • If They Were On The Rebound
  • What To Do If They Are Married
  • What If There Is An Age Gap
  • If You Are Pregnant (Women Only)
  • What If Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant (Men Only)
  • On Again/Off Again

But you are probably getting bored of hearing me talk about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO aren’t you? After all, you did come here to make your ex boyfriend back, right?

Well, then lets get right to it.

I give you the ultimate guide for making an ex boyfriend miss you.

Please enjoy it! Oh, and one thing we are really good about here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery is answering people’s questions. So, if you have any type of question about the process I am about to teach you feel free to ask us in the comments section of this article or you can ask Leia, our support rep at [email protected]

Lets dive in!

You Have A “Missing” Advantage Already


One of the things that I have always found fascinating when it comes to researching breakups is the scientific data that I come across. You see, I am one of those people who is low on faith.

Faith = Believing in something without seeing it.

And perhaps that’s a little strange for the profession that I have chosen since a lot of getting an ex back is all about believing in an outcome that hasn’t occurred yet.

Nevertheless, I think it would be wrong of me to try to teach you something without having proof it works which is why I find the scientific research done on breakups so fascinating.

So many insights can be derived from them.

Take The Brain Study As An Example…

Did you know that science has proven that after a breakup you experience the same type of feeling that a drug addict would feel if he/she was going through a withdrawal period?

In 2005, psychologist Art Aron, neurologist Lucy Brown, and anthropologist Helen Fisher all teamed up to do an interesting study on individuals who had just recently gone through a breakup.

They decided to have the individuals put a brain imaging tool on and then showed them pictures of their ex.

The scientists were trying to determine what was happening in the brain of the people who just went through the breakup.

The results were shocking.

The part of the brain that lit up was the same part of the brain that is commonly present in drug addicts who are going through withdrawal.

So, I guess it’s true what they say.

Love is a drug!

But one simple study probably isn’t enough to sway your opinion, huh?

Ok, lets dive in a little deeper and look at the interesting world of “Facebook Creeping”

The Facebook Creeper Statistic


I have done this.

Hell, I think everyone does this after a breakup. It’s human nature to be curious about what your ex is up to post breakup. I remember in my circumstance with my most recent ex I would think to myself,

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.36.41 PM“I wonder if she is depressed… I bet she is. Let me look and find out.”

And ever since Facebook was invented it has become the ultimate tool for spying on on ex. Just ask Veronika Lukacs who conducted the study as part of her Media Studies Masters thesis, in which she looked at how many people have admitted to “Facebook Creeping” on an ex.

Now, if you don’t know what “Facebook Creeping” is it’s actually quite simple.

Facebook Creeping = Spying on an exes Facebook profile after a breakup to see what they are up to.

You won’t believe how many people admitted to creeping on their exes Facebook.

Nearly 90%!


That’s incredible.

You realize what that means, right?

Well, it means that there is a nearly 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is going to come strolling by your Facebook profile assuming you are still friends there.

That’s amazing.

But again, I still feel this incredible need to provide you with overwhelming statistics before I specifically talk about the advantage you have.

The Overwhelming Statistics In Your Favor


Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much?

Now, does that necessarily mean that if your ex falls into the 71% category that he is going to be missing you?

No, remember, this statistic is basically just saying that 71% of people think about their exes too much. It doesn’t dive too deep into what he is thinking when he is missing you.

He could be thinking negative things…

He could be thinking positive things…

We just don’t know.

Nevertheless, thinking about an ex too much certainly is a start towards missing that ex.

But it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. So, this basically tells us that even if you are married you may still think about your ex too much.

What are my thoughts on this statistic?

Well, I think the important distinction that has to be made is if they are thinking about their ex TOO MUCH or just a little bit. I think it’s human nature to have your mind wander to the past and think about an ex.

Hell, I am sure even my own wife has had this happen from time to time but it’s not like she can turn her mind off.

No one can.

But there is a definite difference between having your mind take a small trip down memory lane and thinking about an ex all day every day.

I would be curious to hear what people defined as thinking “too much”

Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

Now I want to talk about your “Big Advantage”

The Big Advantage That You Have

I got pretty darn boring just now and threw out a bunch of statistics for you. The statistics were meant to prove one thing.

What The Statistics Prove = That even after a breakup, without you doing anything, your ex is thinking about you way too much

So, if your ex is thinking about you too much then you can ultimately use that to your advantage, right?

That’s your big advantage when it comes to making a man miss you. As a default, he is already thinking about you too much. So, that puts you in a pretty good place because many of you will find that it’s not going to take too much to get him to miss you.

Now, does that mean that it’s easy to make a man miss you?

Absolutely not.

There are a lot of factors involved.

But here is my vision.

Right now your ex, as a default, is thinking about you too much,


Now, imagine if you took an ex who was thinking about you too much and coupled it with a professional’s strategies,

My strategies

Making him miss you should be a piece of cake, right?

Well, there is still one more thing that I think we need to cover before I can give you the strategy you should implement and this is something that is going to be important for you to understand because it’s going to directly affect your chances for making him miss you.

The Number One Factor That Determines Whether He Misses You Or Not

Let’s role play.

Lets pretend that in your entire life you have only dated two men.

Man One – Was the great love of your life. He treated you like a queen, made you feel butterflies and as you were dating him you would often think to yourself, “I think he may be “The One.””

Man Two- You also loved Man Two but he did not treat you so well. Your entire relationship, while electric was full of fights. Man Two had a bad habit of putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself.

So, lets assume that you have broken up with both of these men.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.42.07 PMWhich one do you think you are more likely to miss?

Man One, right?


Because he treated you like a queen and your overall relationship with him was better.

And that brings me to my ultimate point.

Without a doubt the number one factor that determines whether a man will miss you or not is always going to be your past relationship with him.

Now, I am not like those other relationship experts out there that will tell you what you want to hear 100% of the time.

If you had a horrible relationship with your ex your chances of having him miss you is going to be lower. That’s just the way it is. Of course, if you had a great relationship with him your chances will be higher.

So, it works both ways.

The Secret Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup


Ok, one more thing to talk about before we can start getting down to the actual strategy of making an ex boyfriend miss you.

Did you know that you have a “secret advantage” if you were actually the one to initiate the breakup with your ex?

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

1. He Can Break Up With You- Where your ex boyfriend actually is the one to initiate the break up.

2. You Can Break Up With Him- Where YOU actually are the one to initiate the break up with him.

3. You Both Mutually Agree To Break Up- This one is where you both break up mutually. No side strikes first.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup.

We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct.

When I get to talking about the no contact rule (really soon) I am going to talk about psychological reactance.

But I suppose I can give you an early taste here since it is definitely going to apply.

Psychological reactance theory basically states that when you take away someones options to do something their attraction to gain their freedom to get that option back increases.

Think of it like this.

Lets say you are walking in the store with a toddler named Ricky (no idea why I picked that name but bear with me here.) Ricky tugs on your pants and points to a toy saying,

“I want that toy!”

You immediately say,

“No, you can’t have that toy.”

Well, now that, Ricky’s freedom to have that toy has been taken away what does he want more than anything?

The toy!

This is psychological reactance in a nutshell.

So, by breaking up with your ex you actually increase the chances that he will miss you because his freedom to have you has been taken away.

Pretty interesting, right?

Of course, there is one case where this might not work as well.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

The ONE Case Where You Might Not Have This Advantage

If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

Cheating is one of those topics that is difficult for everyone involved (including me an impartial third party.)

“Wait, why is it hard for you?”

Easy, it’s hard because I am the one that has to come up with the game plan for putting a “cheating couple” back together. Thus, I have to do a lot of research on the topic to determine the best way to proceed.

So, like I said above, you probably aren’t going to have this secret advantage if you broke up with your ex if he cheated on you.


Because clearly something went wrong with your relationship.

Generally speaking people don’t cheat on a whim.

It’s not like a guy wakes up one day and goes,

“ALRIGHTY! Today is the day I cheat on my girlfriend.”

It’s usually a slow process that takes place over months. And for a man to cheat on you generally means that the wasn’t fully satisfied with the relationship.

Now, does that mean that he never loved you if he cheated on you?

No, Esther Perel, has dedicated pretty much her whole life to studying infidelity and she has found that oftentimes men and women who cheat are still in love with their partner. They just want more excitement in their sex lives.

Now, take that whatever way you want.

I am going to take it as if there is a fundamental problem with your relationship because in my mind a man who is fully satisfied with his relationship will be excited and engaged in his sex life with his partner.

Nevertheless, if you broke up with your ex because he cheated then you aren’t going to have this small little advantage that I am talking about.

Now lets look at the other side of the coin.

The ONE Case Where You Will Absolutely Have The Secret Advantage

If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

Above I established that the the secret advantage that I keep talking about heavily revolves around this idea of “psychological reactance.”

And to be honest I can’t think of situation that screams “taking a mans freedom to have you away” more than this one.

If you broke up with your ex boyfriend when he didn’t want you to break up with him then you have definitely left him with the impression that you are a very rare commodity.

It’s a bit of that law of scarcity.

You will find that the more scarce you are the more attractive you will be to men in general.

It’s the same way that diamonds are so attractive to women.

It’s the fact that they look pretty AND they are very rare.

I mean, something tells me that you wouldn’t find a diamond so attractive if you go buy it for a dollar at the dollar store.

Anyways, lets move on to the meat of this guide.

How to make a man miss you after a breakup!

The “Make Him Miss You” Strategy

I want you to take a look at the graphic below,


Pretty straightforward, right?

“Umm Chris… no it’s not.”

Well, don’t worry. It will be because I am going to break it down for you.

The “BIG” strategy for making your ex boyfriend miss you is divided up into four different parts,

1. The No Contact Rule
2. Social Media Game
3. The “Frank Sinatra Effect”
4. Jealousy Tactics

Lets start from the top!

PART ONE: The No Contact Rule

(For more in-depth information on the No Contact Rule and how to PROPERLY put it into practice please check out the No Contact Rule Book)

talk to me

Throughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme.

Hell, I even wrote an entire book about it (The No Contact Rule Book.)

But why is it such a big theme?

Why do I talk about it so much?

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.49.58 PMWell that’s easy to answer. The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most successful strategies for getting an ex back. A few weeks ago I compiled all of my recorded success stories to try to determine any correlations that I could find between what the people who had actually won their exes back were doing that the people who were failing weren’t.

Turns out the no contact rule was present in 74% of the successes.

But to be honest I think that number is actually a lot higher than that.


Because a portion of the success stories that I had recorded didn’t give me much information.

They just said something like,

“Thanks, I got my ex back.”

Not really deep enough for me to determine what that particular person did to succeed in getting their ex back, huh?

Don’t believe me?

Ok, here is a sample of one of the “thin” success stories that I got,




So, if you were to ask my opinion on how many of the successes used the no contact rule I would put the number closer to 90%. Whatever the case, one thing is very clear.

The no contact rule is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.

But how does it make him miss you?

Good question.

In order to answer that I think we first need to define the no contact rule.

The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for a specific period of time. If during that “period of time” you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond. The no contact rule serves three main purposes. It gives both of you a “cool off period” to calm down from the breakup, it gives you the opportunity to improve yourself during the “cool off period” and it raises the chances that he will miss you.

Sounds simple, right?


The no contact rule is without a doubt the hardest strategy to complete on this site.

Hell, all you have to do is visit one of my “no contact rule” pages to see just how many women are struggling with it.

But you don’t care about that do you?

No, you care about the psychology behind why the no contact rule can make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

Ok, lets tackle that right now.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

I want you to ask me a question.

The question = Chris, what is the number one mistake you see people making after a breakup.

WOW, thanks for asking that amazing question 😉 .

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 3.18.52 PMThe number one mistake that I see people making after a breakup is begging. They beg for their exes back. The become GNATS and just stick around.

I mean, put yourself in your ex boyfriends shoes for a second assuming that you were bugging the hell out of him after a breakup with you.

Would you find it attractive if someone you didn’t have feelings for anymore was bugging you every five seconds trying to convince you to do something you didn’t want to do?

Something tells me you wouldn’t.

Now, how does this play into making an ex miss you?

Easy, a man cannot miss that which he sees every day.

One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

I know it’s kind of a weird choice when there are way more epic movies out there but for some reason “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

What can I say… I dig revenge stories.

Truthfully, I watch the movie at least once a year and you know what causes me to watch it?

Something reminds me of it and then I think to myself,

“Man, that movie was so good I miss the feeling that it gave me. Maybe I should watch it.”

But I only have that thought because I haven’t seen it in a long time. Lets say that I watched it every day for a year. I can tell you right now that at that point it wouldn’t be my favorite movie anymore. No, it would probably end up being my most hated movie. It would become stale and I would grow sick of it.

By not giving your ex a chance to miss you, via the no contact rule, you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The No Contact Rule Makes You More Attractive (I Can Prove It)

Have you ever heard of the notion that “people want what they can’t have?”

People want “that” which they feel should belong to them. By taking something away from them (e.g. you make yourself unavailable by not communicating), the person will be motivated to pursue.

In the world of psychology, it’s called “Psychological Reactance”. This concept emerged from the work of the American psychologist, Jack Brehm in 1966.
“Brehm argues that individuals have a set of “free behaviors” that they believe they can engage in at present or some time in the future. Behavioral freedoms vary in importance, with some being highly important because they deal with critical survival. Stephen Worchel (2004) suggested that these freedoms help define the individual’s self-identity. A threat or elimination of freedom results in an increase of attractiveness of the forbidden act and the motivation to engage in that behavior.” In really simple terms, when you implement the No Contact Strategy, it’s like you are secretly saying, “You can’t have me. You can’t talk to me. I am depriving you of your freedom to be with me”.

With psychological reactance in play, your Ex is secretly thinking, “I want what you say I can’t have. It should belong to me and is part of me, so I will pursue it”

Ah, and that leads the way to another little hypothesis that I have.

According to psychological reactance your ex is going to want what he can’t have. We have already established that. But lets take a trip to fantasy land (your favorite place in the world) and say that you successfully get your ex back.

I have this theory that the harder you make it for him to get you back the more he will appreciate you when he has you.

My buddies first car is an example.

I had a friend who wanted a car more than anything when he was 16 years old. So, he spent an entire summer mowing peoples yards to get money to buy this beat up chevy truck that kind of looked like this,

old beat up chevy truck

Pretty crappy, right?

Here’s the thing.

He treated that car so good and he loved it more than anything. Hell, even now he reminisces about it. But I doubt he would have treated it so well if it had just been gifted to him.

In fact, there was one time that I asked him flat out,

“Why do you like this truck so much?”

His response was simple…

“Because I had to work so hard to get it. Dude, you have no idea how hard it was to scrounge up the money to buy this thing.”

So, here is my theory when it comes to you and your ex.

The harder you make it for him to get you back the more he is going to appreciate you once he gets you back. After all, I doubt you are in this to get your ex back and break up again, right? No, you want a relationship that is going to last.

And the no contact rule can provide that difficulty for him to succeed in getting you back.

PART TWO: Social Media Game

(For more in-depth information on how to use social media to get your ex back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

And now we move on to our second part of the strategy, social media,

strategy social media

Now, if you are confused as to what this is let me give you a quick history of social media.

Since the internet started… (No just kidding. I wouldn’t bore you to death with that.)

Look, here’s the deal.

Social media is an excellent way to make your ex miss you.


Well, above I established that close to 90% of exes “creep” on Facebook. In other words, the probability that your ex boyfriend is going to peek at your profile at some point post breakup is high.

So, why not prepare for that moment?

Why not pimp out your profile to be everything that he finds attractive in a woman.

How To Make Your Social Media Profile Perfect

I want to tell you a funny story that happened to my wife yesterday.

So, if you don’t know my wife she is in charge of our YouTube channel and our marketing experts. In other words, if we want to get featured anywhere popular she is in charge of making that happen.

Well, one day she decided that we should be featured on “Ted Talks” so she started trying to network with some of the people over at “Ted Talks” and she managed to locate one of the person’s Facebook profiles.

So, rather than asking me to reach out directly she decided that since this person was a man it would be better if she reached out since she knows she is a very beautiful woman.

There was just one problem.

This was her Facebook profile picture,

profile picture

Now, I don’t know about you but that’s not going to make any man fall over himself. Well, except maybe me (that’s my daughter.) My wife, of course, knew this so she decided to change the picture to something really sexy like this,

ellas grove

That’s my wife in a model shoot for some clothing company named Ella’s Grove.

Anyways, what do you think happened to her after she changed her profile picture on Facebook from our child to a sexy looking picture of her.

All the men went wild (myself included.)

She was getting comments like,

comment 1

comment 2

comment 3

Ok, first off… what the fu*k?

Looks like I have to beat some people up.


We have some work to do!


No I am just kidding…

Please don’t take that seriously.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.57.49 PMThe point of telling you this story was to show you how powerful a picture can be. You can potentially make your ex boyfriend one of those men and show him what he is missing out on by posting strategic pictures on your social media profiles.

So, here is what I am going to do.

I am going to teach you my two best methods for catching a mans attention via social media.

1. The Profile Picture Change
2. The “Fun” Picture

Lets start with the profile picture change.

The Profile Picture Change

This is what my wife did and indirectly got all that attention from men.

Now, I am going to pick on myself a bit here.

Before I met my wife I heavily relied on good looks to attract attention. In other words, any picture I posted to Facebook looked like this,

not a good picture

Now, even though this picture isn’t bad it isn’t earth shatteringly amazing which is what I should be going for.

And then I met my wife….

The woman who forced me to get professional pictures done.

Like this,

professional pictures

Do you see the difference.

This is the kind of picture that I want you to be posting to your social media profile as your profile picture. Here is my general rule of thumb, any picture that makes you look like you belong in a magazine is definitely the one you should have as your profile picture.

So, I guess what I am saying is that you should hire a professional photographer to take your picture. Now, for those of you who don’t want to step outside the comfort zone and hire a photographer I have one piece of advice to you.

Often times it’s the things that make us step outside our comfort zone that yield the best results.

The “Fun” Picture

I have a question for you.

What do you think your ex boyfriend expecting you to do after the breakup?

He’s expecting you to mope around and be depressed.

Don’t believe me?

I remember an early breakup of mine where this is exactly what I thought.

“God I hope she is suffering.”

Pretty mean, right?

But when I would spy on her Facebook profile and see that she wasn’t depressed it would drive me nuts. I want this exact thing to unfold for you when your ex boyfriend snoops around your profile.

So, how can you accomplish this?

Easy, post pictures of yourself out having fun.

Here is a great example. Look at the picture below,

These girls like they are having fun. This is the kind of picture you want to post.

Because here is what he is going to think when he sees it,

“Wait, why is she out having fun? Why isn’t she sitting at home eating ice cream like I thought?”

Once you get him thinking that this thought is right around the corner,

“I’m kind of jealous…”

And as I am going to establish later in this guide jealousy can lead to a man missing you.

PART THREE: The Frank Sinatra Effect

(For more in-depth information on The Frank Sinatra Effect check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

frank sinatra

One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from a man by the name of Frank Sinatra.

“The best revenge in life is massive success.”

Now, what does that have to do with making an ex boyfriend miss you?

Good question.

In order for me to answer it I first need to tell you a story. To me, teaching people to get back with their exes is my passion and in order for me to give people advice I need to understand the trends.

What works and what doesn’t work.

So, that’s why I am always keeping an eye on your comments and questions to me. But the one thing that warms my heart more than anything are the success stories!

Not just because I helped people get back together but I can learn so much from them.

Anyways, one trend that I began to notice with a lot of my success stories was the fact that the women who ended up succeeding were actually completely moved on from the break up and living successful lives.

It’s sort of like it was at this point that their ex finally woke up and saw their worth.

Hell, I even did an entire podcast about this phenomenon here.

Anyways, I kept seeing this phenomenon pop up again and again so when I did an audit of my success stories last month I learned that a lot of women who had actually completely moved on from their exes were able to get him back.

It sounds counter intuitive, right?

But maybe not.

Lets turn our attention back to psychological reactance.

By moving on from an ex boyfriend completely you are indirectly saying to him,

“You cannot have me. You have lost the freedom to have me.”

Which of course as you know, will only make him want you more.

And that’s where the Frank Sinatra effect comes into play.

I want you to “move on” without moving on if that makes any sense. I want you to live an incredible life outside of your relationship with your ex.

Here are a few of my best tips for doing this.

Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You During The Frank Sinatra Effect

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you while in the midst of the Frank Sinatra Effect. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control.

When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape

There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying that you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Pretty shallow I know…

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. Anyways, I was walking with my buddy when she yelled my name and we started talking. After we were done talking we went our separate ways and I remember my buddy going,

“Dude she is sooo HOT why did you let that one slip through your fingers?”

I explained that she didn’t look like that back when I knew her but now that I saw this new and improved version I wanted her immediately.

So, I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her which was relatively easy because she liked me (or so I thought.)

Anyways, we set up a relatively simple date to go on at a restaurant. The plan was that we were going to meet there and we would probably go for a walk after that. There was just one problem.

She never showed up.

During the day of the date I had reached out to her to ask if we were still on (BIG MISTAKE) and got no response…. the hours inched closer to kickoff and I still hadn’t heard from her. I was starting to get worried so like an insecure guy I reached out to her again,

“Hey, are we on for tonight?”

No response..

It was starting to become clear that I was going to get stood up if I went to the restaurant but I figured I would give it one more try.

“Are you there?”

Again no response…

She didn’t want to go on a date with me.

Ironic, huh?

Karma I guess!

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period (which is when you should probably be in the Frank Sinatra mindset) make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much.

Just focus on the most important thing, you.

If you were to ask me what I thought one of the biggest mistakes that I see women engaging in are I would definitely have to say that becoming to obsessed with their ex is at the top of the list.

In order to truly “move on, without moving on” you can’t be too worried about what your ex is doing. You need to be worrying about what you are doing.

I haven’t talked a lot about this yet because maybe I am trying to save something for my book. but maybe I think it’s too good to leave out.

If you really want to make the most of the Frank Sinatra effect I am going to teach you an amazing strategy. Well, perhaps strategy isn’t the right word to explain this. No, I would say this is more of a philosophy.

I like to call it…

“The Holy Trinity”

(Oh, and this is not biblical at all I promise.)

You can divide the most important aspects of your life into three categories,


  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

I don’t have to explain what is comprised of the categories, do I?

Well, I will tell you what, I am just going to leave my book for that.

Basically if you want to utilize the Frank Sinatra effect to the fullest I recommend that you try to maximize these three areas of your life.

You will notice that in the graphic above there is an intersection of the three.

The intersection where all three meet.


Perhaps it’s better if I pointed to it for you,

HWR copy

What you are trying to do here is find a perfect balance between your health, wealth and relationships. By doing so you will jump up in attractiveness to your ex.

Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and work on the holy trinity for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life

You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.


B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.”

Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.

PART FOUR: Jealousy Tactics

(For more in-depth information on how to use jealousy to get your ex boyfriend back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)


A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way.

It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

If you want to learn more about what you can text your ex boyfriend I recommend checking out “The Texting Bible.

Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you do not be afraid to comment in our comments section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally.	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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5703 Comments on "How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup"

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My boyfriend is a self centred guy. So he wants things to be done his own way and it’s a long distance relationship . I found out that he’s been cheating on me , I didn’t say anything because we hardly see each other and he’s guy he got needs. But then we just decided to break up. This strategy will help me

Totally confused. What if you’ve gone through no contact twice and then after things seemed to be on the right track you get into an argument. The first time I went through no contact with my ex we didn’t speak for a year we dated other people and all. He moved out of state and we reconnected, upon reconnecting I vacationed in his city twice and we would casually hangout and when he would come home he went out of his way to see me, which led to him casually asking me to practically begging me to come visit him… Read more »
What if you’ve gone through no contact twice and then after things seemed to be on the right track you get into an argument. The first time I went through no contact with my ex we didn’t speak for a year we dated other people and all. He moved out of state and we reconnected, upon reconnecting I vacationed in his city twice and we would casually hangout and when he would come home he went out of his way to see me, which led to him casually asking me to practically begging me to come visit him solo. Over… Read more »
This was the wonderful,in which it really touches me when reading though. My bf and I had a long lasting relationship, since 2012..when I am in standard 8 and he was my first person i came to know as love in my intimacy relationship. With all that trusts that I have on him, somewhat the situations turns to be so hard for me. It happens when I left him to take my studies abroad, in 2017,,and received a text from him that, he decides to break up with me. Without my last saying, we both just break up.leaving me in… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Vicencia,

How long have you been doing nc?

So I have a question. My Bf just broke up with me a few days ago because he saw me more as a friend. We’ve been together a year and we were both happy. He just said there wasn’t that spark. He also said when he missed me previously he realised he missed me like a mate. Not a gf. What if he does miss me in the no contact period but will always put it down to thinking it’s just missing a mate? Or could it be obvious enough to him in time that he misses me for other… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lauren,

That’s not a nc period if you kept contacting or replying or commenting back to his comments for you..check this one:
The Friend Zone: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Just Wants To Be Friends

My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago by deciding to go on a break because he said he needed space and time to think. We were together for almost 7 months and everything was great until he sat me down and told me that. I tried giving him space (even though we live together in student housing). After a week we spoke again and he said he made a mistake and if we could just forget everything. He wanted sex and I said ok but only if he wasn’t going to change his mind again and he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jasmijn,

Staying in contact is worse.. Do nc for yourself, not for him and don’t sleep with him again. check this one:
How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him

My fiancé and I broke up last year. We were in communication after, but eventually I stopped reaching out. He messaged me back in Dec updating me on his plans of moving/getting a new job. I didnt respond. About a week later he blocked me on FB (we already weren’t friends). Then after a few weeks unblocked. Then a week later called. A few weeks later he called and was messaging me asking if I would talk to him. A week later a family member passed away, so I called to give my condolences. We talked on the phone for… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

he probably misses to talk to you but that doesn’t mean he wants to get back yet.. That’s common for an ex, that’s why most of them ask to be friends after the break up.


I’m 2 months pregnant by my boyfriend a old friend decided to write my boyfriend on Facebook and tell lies because he’s mad I’m in a relationship with someone me and my boyfriend was working on it and getting our relationship back right but when he came home off the road he got mad all over again and broke up with me for good blocked me social media sites and he change his phone number after he txt me the other day

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Amy,

Let him cool down for now, when he does talk to him calmly about the situation.


Me and my boyfriend been dating for 9 months this guy I use to talk to and have relations with decided to write him on Facebook and tell him we still talk but I’m 2 months pregnant with my boyfriend child we talked everything out then he came home off the road and got mad all over again and broke up with me for good

Richa Kumar

Both of us are off social media. So there is no social media jealousy. He has blocked me on WhatsApp and we work in the same company but different offices. So no contact. Will the NC still work ?

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Richa,

You can still use social media, just make your posts public because he will still probably get curious about you.. why did you break up?

January 4th, 2018 10:03 am My ex and I have been together for a year then we broke up because I know he was on date with another girl younger than him 10 years old (19yrs) while we were a part by argument. Although he and I been for a year but we just kiss, cuddle, and do “BJ” for both nothing really called make out.He sent video of him and her when I worked at night and texted me rude words. I cried because i trusted him never replace me by anyone. after a year he never show me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor


There are really people who will use us because they can see we allow them.. It doesn’t matter what kind of person he is because you will move on from him.

Hi, I have been with a guy for almost five years. We lived together almost four years. Out of no where, he felt like our relationship wasn’t on the right path and suggested that I move out. He claims that we are just on a break because he is liking his alone time. I invested over $14,000 in his home and I am devestared because I left my own home to move in with him. He sold me the dream that he would never let me go and we would always be together. I am miserable and don’t even know… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

It has been two months since me and my boyfriend of 3 years broke up and at the start he messed me around saying he wasn’t sure and that he didn’t believe in us and maybe we were to different. Then when I said I can’t be messed around he got nasty and bitter towards me. He then blocked me and it’s been 6 weeks since I tried to contact him. I don’t even think he cares about me anymore. No response after no contact and still blocked. I’m at a lose for what to do next?

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Alicia,

Even if you’re blocked, in nc rule you have to be active in posting, just make them much did you improve yourself?

Happy Holidays! My boyfriend broke up with me and it was a bad break up scenario where I ended up begging, cursing etc. We were together for 5 years but had a long distance relationship for a year when I came back we were supposed to get married, wedding date was planned. But suddenly he broke up with me saying he is not anymore happy and is afraid that in marriage he won’t be happy too. Heelllppp!! I dunno what to do. I have not contacted him For 2 weeks now and he hasn’t either and Im off to leave… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor
Sandy Adams

I met a man and was living with another man and moved out and started living with this new man for about 6 months and things were okay but I started feeling lonely with his work hours I was crying a lot and he was manipulating. I told him I was moving back to my old boyfriend. Two days later I realized how much I loved the man I left and called him and told him I wanted to go back and he said no. He will not call or text and it’s been 7 months

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sandy,

where are you living now?

Hi my boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. We have been best friends for years and got together last Christmas and have been with each other since with no arguments at all and we get on so so well. I moved 3 hours away to go to college so we have been long distance for 3 months but still seeing each other once every week. The first two months were good but then suddenly he became really distant and kept making me his last priority but when I brought it up he said he wasn’t sure how he felt about… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hi, My bf has just broken up with a few weeks ago, claiming that we had too many arguments and differences in personality which he doesnt think we And i did what most ppl did, to tried to beg and win him back. However, i didnt liked the fact that i was needy and desperate. He also made it clearly that he will not patch back, and knowing his temper, once he has given up on me, it means i highly dont stand a chance at all. In your opinion, even if i follow the recommendations laid out in ur… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mellissa,

Try it first, if it doesn’t work, move on..

So I’m 23 years old. I dated my ex boyfriend back when we were 16. He was a chubby little boy and I fell for his gentle heart. But we were 16. Harsh reality I broke up with him because we were young and I was going through a lot with the loss of a parent and we lived in different towns. It was hard to see each other. But he HATED me for years because I broke his heart. Fast forward to 2016 (5 years later) I asked him out for a drink and he said yes. It was… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor
Ru Ri
Hello I’m 21 years old girl.I had ex boyfriend who loves me truly.Our parents did not know we are in RS.We break up because his family do not accept me.His mom cried after she knew her son’s gf,me,is not hindu.The reason is he is hindu and I m not hindu. He told me that he loves me very much but to stay like friend bcoz he did not stand his mom’s sadness.I reply him *Don’t u think about my feeling,too?Why u propose me if u will do as yr mom’s decisions.Why u don’t want to try again.Why u decided to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hello, I was seeing someone for two months. We hit it off the second date and everything went well. He introduced me to his parents and friends after 3 weeks of dating and so I got the impression that he’s serious about me. But every time people asked if we’re boyfriend/girlfriend he would say we’re dating.. but he would also say.. we’ll see how it goes if she plays her cards right. He gave me the impression that the status of our relationship is dependent on him, that I have to prove myself to him and I’m under his mercy… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Matchless,

You’re worth is in your hands, not in somebody else’s opinion.. We get what we allow. So, you have to remind yourself what your standards are..

Hi Chris I’ve recently found your page and a glimmer of hope has sparked. I just want to know if my predicament is too much to get out of. I committed an infedility and he knows about it. But it was not until his sister stepped in and told his father, forcing him to break up with me. It has been three weeks since the break up and we’ve been speaking and been in contact. We’ve spoken and he has told me he wants the relationship back but is not sure if he can be in it. What does that… Read more »

hi sir can i ask u my doubt please

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Saranya,

are you going to try the no contact rule?

hi sir, I ve breakup with my lover in march 2017 onbehalf of he is in an another relationship before me(that was 9 years mine was 6 years) already he had a breakup with me before 1year after he called me and texted me that he dont wants that girl and he really loves me.. he gave trust to me and i love him so much so i didnt say anything and started my relationship then i raised some of questions if he left me?? because of that girl he said you re important to me i trusted him so… Read more »
Hi, My boyfriend out of the blue started to distance himself from me about 2 weeks ago with really no explanation. He wouldn’t sleep with me in the same bed and said he was exhausted from work and school (semester started not long ago) The following Monday, he said that he wasn’t happy with our relationship anymore and said I need to work on some personal issues (help with depression, tone with my responses, etc) he also mentioned that he wants to figure himself out, but we could always work things out in the future but he said he can’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Shay,

if you’re in the no contact rule, don’t initiate a conversation with him.. Are you?

Hi, my situation is a little bit different I wanted to know what you guys think. Should I do no contact? My boyfriend left for boot camp for the Army. Before he left we had a huge argument and now neither of our families want us together anymore. We’ve been together for 4 years; he decided however, it would be for the best to break up and said he needed some space. I was really disappointed. He did say however that he wanted to keep in contact with me and that he would write me while in boot camp. I’m… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor
My ex was my first everything. We have known each other since 7th grade. We started dating in 2013 and July 2017 I have found out that he has been living a double life since 2015 and when everything surfaced it was like he had no regrets and played the blame game making everything my fault. The current girlfriend is 27 has 4 kids none of which are his in which he claims he is there because he does not want to be homeless as she does not require much from him besides that he babysit while she works. When… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday, which was only 2 days after our 7 month anniversary. (this has been a high school relationship btw) We were going through a bad rough patch, because I very stupidly dedicated all my time and effort to school work (since my parents are very strict and I needed a lot of work to improve). This meant I didn’t talk to him as much or even spend time with him as much. I realise now I was selfish for only caring about myself, and not even being aware of everyone else around me especially… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Judy,

It’s not stupid to focus in your studies..he should have studied with you if he wanted to spend time. Are you going to do the no contact rule?

Abby law

so i dated this boy but he broke up with me because he said he wanted to focus on school but he falls a sleep in class what does this mean.

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Abby,

that’s hard to say.. more likely he’s not telling the real reason to you..


Hey. My boyfriend broke up with me twenty days back because we had been fighting since a month and I self harmed. I’ve tried talking to him and asking him to get back. He says he is ready to be friends. He has been talking this old crush of his as well. I really love him and want him back. Please help me out

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Areeba,

Get a therapist for yourself and check this one:
You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That

Thanks god that make me find your website. I’m struggling with my boyfriend. I have been together for 8 months. We had fight and always get back together in one day. One day, I have feeling that he use dating apps. I asked him he said It was long time ago. He forgot to delete them. I saw notification on his phone. My bad, I looked on it and saw that he is using them. I confronted with him. He’s mad that I wne through his phone. He brought my stuff back but not all of them. I don’t know… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi YU,

Do you want to try the no contact rule?

My case is a little different. About 2 months ago a guy that delivers to my place of business every day approached me and wanted to start a side thing (friends with benefits) with me after we got to know each other over a long period of time and we had a connection to each other that was undeniable. He knew my relationship wasnt a good one anymore and he wasnt happy in his either. He initiated everything and i honestly would have never even considered anything like it had he not approached me. We started seeing each other and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor
I got a wild hair up me today and deactivated my Facebook without saying anything. We broke up 5 days ago (he dumped me) and we’ve been in touch the past few days here and there but I’d like to start nc and didn’t think that’d happen with having Facebook since we’re amicable and he’ll still tag me in stuff, etc. and Facebook was making me obsess too much. I figure I’ll reactivate it in 3-4 weeks. Is this a mistake? We’re still friend on instagram and Snapchat so he’ll see if I post things there. I have yet to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi allie,

Make it after two weeks, and continue posting in Instagram but not just stories.. Make it the posts that stays

Laia Ruiz Llopart
I am writing to you since I think I have a exceptional case for you… It is a combination of many things you explained in the book so here i explain you my situation. My ex boyfriend and I were together for 5 years and a half. From the 5th month of the relationship it was a long distance relation since I was studying abroad, but somehow we managed to see each other every 1 or 2 months maximum and of course all the vacations we spent all the time together. This summer we had a conversation that this was… Read more »
Hi there, On sep 12, 2017. Someone told a guy I was seeing for 9months to stay away from me. I suspected my ex. But he swore on our son name he wasn’t the one who threaten my current guy. We were having a nice smooth relationship since we both act like mature people with less fights. On 13,sep a day after he was threaten, he asked me for a space to process what happen and how he felt when he was threaten. I as a lady I didn’t take it cool since I expected him to put a little… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Betty,

So he wants you to wait while he goes do something else in his life? How active are you currently in improving yourself and in posting? Whatever he heard, after that, it looks like he wants to string you along..


What happens if you and your ex don’t have social media? There isn’t any way to make them jealous or allow them to see you’re living life is there? That’s confusing for me. I miss him and will start the no contact rule but just wanted to ask about the next part. Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Amrkt,

That means you have to open a social media account…preferrably where the posts dont dissappear after 24 hours..


I am not sure I am leaving this in the correct place but I have a question. What if my ex un friended me from facebook how do I accomplish the second and third steps? Please help I am broken and willing to listen to any advice.

EBR Team Member: Amor
My boyfriend broke up with me because I was agitating for marriage. We actually have had many previous break ups but now it’s final.He says I don’t love him not understanding that I’m more of a low key person and he’s promised himself to never get back together. He’s a great guy and I miss him. I’ve practically begged although with some dignity and now he’s no longer picking my calls. He seems to have moved on and he lives in a different state too. I don’t know if the no contact will work because I’ve used it many times… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Helow My problem is I break up with my bf last week in 25thseptember i was so sturrborn and my plroblem was wanting him to change into the way i want to share his things with me my intention wasnt bad for him but its to learn and grow old together but i was wrong because alot of blaming makea him get tired of me and end up break up with me,i told him we can still change things and make it better and forget about the past and begging him for that but he said he tired and i… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Winnie,

If you’re doing the no contact rule, you shouldn’t greet him

Hi, I was dating a man for over a year. He treated me like a girlfriend in all ways, invested in me, introduced me to his friends, recently asked to introduce me to his parents, cooked for me, and took me out a lot. We spent almost everyday together – initiated by him. He’s in debt from many years of school and told me he has a fear of committment and has fears of not being a good provider. This came up when we the relationship talk came up recently. I told him he is not wrong but we are… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi COnfused,

if you’re trying to get him back, since you’re nc is over, you have to start rebuilding rapport.. So, don’t say things that are like ultimatums.. but just to remind you, he still didn’t change his mind about not committing, so you have to think about your own values too. You have to observe him later on while you’re building rapport if he changes his mind, because if not, move on.


Why is it if I do not have much contact with my ex as suggested and like I’m okay it seems to make it worse? For example he will not contact me bc he says it makes him feel I don’t care. Also comments from him like “if you’re dating then I’m not even going to try.” He was the one that moved out and hasn’t shown actions toward rectifying it yet either. What is the deal with that?

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kate,

you mean he says he will not contact you because you’re not initiating nor replying? That’s normal. He’s still used to talking to you, and it’s his way of getting the power back if you replied after him saying that.


I have a question to ask about me and my ex boyfriend. So, it’s been a week now since me and my boyfriend broke up because he started dating this other girl while me and him was together. I wonder what should I do. I really want my ex boyfriend back but I don’t know if he going to come back to me or not. I have a class with him but he won’t talk to me he will look at me but that’s all he feel like he didn’t do anything wrong.

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor
Lucinda Mccarthy
Me and my ex met through work. We worked on different departments so we wasn’t always seeing and being in each other’s way. I can honestly say it was the perfect relationship. So I thought.we spent any spare moment with each other. But this didn’t stop us from having our own lives. I done what I wanted to do and so did he. With no problems. We respected each other, we were both loyal, we can chill out ect. No stress or nothing. He called me his best friend. The stuff I told him I never trusted nobody else with,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lucinda,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

My boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me just under 2 weeks ago. For a few days after I was begging him to take me back, saying we could work through it (basically the day before we had had a small argument about how He finds me clingy and I said I could change that, I was only clingy because he asked me to be months ago), and he said for the last month of the relationship he sometimes found me annoying and sometimes he loved me and sometimes he was unsure. My main concern is that he has… Read more »

Sorry, another note is that the night before he ended things, when we had our argument, we talked on the phone for an our and resolved everything and said we were excited to see each other in 2 days and we will work things out. We said we still love each other and still want to be together. Then the night after he broke up with me (he broke up with me over text!!!) he said he no longer loves me. Is he lying about his feelings or was he really lying before he broke it off?

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Heartbroken,

If it has been 11 days..he probably meant the break up..Check this one:
Stage 5 Clinger – Getting A Boyfriend Back If You Were Too Clingy


I feel like clinginess isn’t really the right term, though. He would always text me in the morning when he woke up, he would message me throughout the day, I only wanted to talk on the phone a couple of nights a week (only when we hadn’t seen each other in a while). I tried showing him that his uni can come first, and he was friends with girls and I was fine with that, I was fine with him going out to parties. I just feel like he was stressed and I want advice on getting him back

EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

If it was just stress, doing nc, having your own life, not begging again and following the advice above still works

Hi! I have been my boyfriend for 1.5 years and recently he initiated a break up with me and I felt devastated over it. He just suddenly sat me down and told me he couldn’t continue on with the relationship as he feels that the communication barrier between us was too high. He was always happy while out together with me but at night, he will think about the flaws in our relationship and it made him feel unhappy and suffocated. He never mentioned about this matter before since he looked happy and didn’t complain about anything in the relationship.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Esther,

It looks like he fell out of love with you.. Check this one:
Why Do Men Fall Out Of Love With You

My boyfriend of 1.5 years officially said we should take a break off one another less than 24 hours ago. The period is indefinite. It could be a month, 3 months, 6 months or never. I have my own fair share of anxiety and abandonment issues, but this is NOT why I want him back. And he did say I’m improving. Honestly, I got pretty confused by his actions because his body language and the stuff he says tells me that he still loves me (even though his mouth says its the past tense). Either ways, I told him to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Confused,

how are you now? Are you in no contact period?

Hi Chris I have followed all your steps to the T! I have gone on 10 GREAT dates with my ex and last weekend we went to a concert and I met some of his friends. Things we’re finally looking up and we finally were clicking again! Long story short we both had too much to drink and the topic of an old ex of his came up… I absolutely lost it with him. I yelled at him on our walk to the car and most of his friends saw it all go down. I went absolutely insane on him.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

how long have you been building rapport?

Hey Chris, I am having trouble implementing the no contact rule. My ex moved out of our apartment and left a note saying he wanted to break up. He did come back later to talk about things but stated that he felt it was something he needed to do. Unfortunately we have shared assets and we had to talk the days following the break up. I finally couldn’t handle seeing him and told him I wasn’t trying to be difficult or unreasonable but I needed to be away from him and didn’t want to to see him or talk to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

yup, just only make it about that.

Hello! My name is Maria and i’ve dated my ex boyfriend for 10 months. We broke up about a month and a half ago. I failed the no contact rule after 10 days and then I started it again. He texted me after 2 weeks after i failed the NC and we talked for an hour. He asked me if i want my cat back and then he seemed kind of interested in what I have been doing (he asked about some major events in my life). Last week was his birthday and i wished him all the best and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hello, I’m in a very sick situation I ve got really tired and very sick really sick.. I met my ex since a 3 years ago and I felt that’s he is the one that he really complete me I loved him very fast and it was not a rebound we were ok and happy after a year he met a girl and after a while he was honest with me and he said that I love you and I want you in my life but we cannot get married because of our different environments it was really shocked so… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jessica,

are you going to do the no contact rule?

My boyfriend and I were dating for 7 months, together every single day (even the days leading up to the breakup. I had no warning signs). Last weekend he took me on a day trip to Carmel, and he dog-sat with me all last week. We got into an argument after we went out with friends and the next day he told me that was the last straw and ended it with me. Point blank no room to budge- ended it. He said that I have become a less positive person than when he first met me and that I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Katie,

he probably just did that out of emotion. So, continue being active in posting.