If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write missing my ex articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all.

In this case, I am going to be writing a manifesto (if you will!), that is aimed at helping you figure out ways to make your ex boyfriend miss you in the most wonderful of ways.  I mean really, don’t you want your ex boyfriend thinking about you and all the things the two of you did together, hungering for a return to those times?  Don’t you want him to miss the way you look and smell and taste?

You see, this whole business of creating a longing in your ex boyfriend mind and body is largely about using clever tactics and employing psychological techniques.  To make your ex boyfriend to miss and value you more, you have to do a number of things and stick with your plan, adapting as you go along.

So as you can imagine, to succeed you need a comprehensive Make Him Miss You Guide!  That is what I specialize in.

Can I Really Do Something To Make My Ex Boyfriend Miss Me As Badly As I Am Missing Him?

Yes you can.

You can set into motion a series of events that cause your ex boyfriend to yearn to be with you again.  It’s learning those things you should and shouldn’t do that helps you get him in that mindset where he has to have you back.

You want your ex boyfriend to miss you like crazy, right?  And you want him to start missing you from the day he breaks up with you, right?  Literally, right after the break up.

You want him to to miss you so much more than he could ever imagine.

We are talking re-creating memories about all the places he and you use to frequent. You want him to think about those times and to dwell on them.  Wouldn’t you love to have your ex boyfriend dream of you constantly, fantasizing about hooking up with you?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could see visible evidence of how much your ex boyfriend misses you on Facebook as judged by his posts and his reactions to yours?

Don’t you want him to be overwhelmed with feelings for you that he cannot quiet down?  Wouldn’t you want him to fear that he is losing you and may not see you or that you are getting along just fine without him.

Shouldn’t your ex boyfriend miss kissing you, stroking your hair, holding your hand, and making love to you.

How will you pull all this off?

Because after all, you will want to create a mosaic of emotions that causes your ex boyfriend to get all worked inside, yearning to be with you.

Perhaps he is not even close to acting or thinking that way.

I mean, how do you go from a guy who says he wants nothing to do with you – that he doesn’t care if he never sees you again – to an ex boyfriend who is miserable and can’t seems to function at all because he regrets letting you go?

It can’t be easy or can it?

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Making Your Ex Boyfriend Realize Missing You Is The Worst Feeling He Has Ever Experienced

Some men are just downright stubborn.  It’s like, no matter what you do they don’t seem to notice you.  Of course, this Guide is all about the things you can do to turn your ex boyfriend’s stubbornness around and realize he misses you more than he could ever imagine.  But you need to have a plan to bring him to this reality.

This is why I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish  specific goals.

In this case, you need to learn how to make your ex boyfriend crave to be in your presence.  You want your ex bf to realize and notice that the loss of you is tearing up his world.  You need to learn to make your ex bf realize that the absence of you in his day to day routines is almost unbearable.

As his ex girlfriend, you want your guy to realize you are a stunning catch and he made a huge error in letting you go.  You want your ex to miss you so much, that he regrets his big blunder and mistake of breaking up with you or doing those stupid things that caused you to walk away from him.

How I Can Help You With Making Your Ex Boyfriend Desperate to See You Again?

Bringing about an environment in which your ex boyfriend desperately wants you back such that his every day is filled with thoughts about you is what I specialize in!   Getting to a place where your ex bf desires you again and appreciates the value you bring to his life requires a comprehensive strategic plan.

Getting him to a place where he is miserable without you takes some effort if he initiated the break up.  But if you dumped him, half the battle is won in one sense.   But be careful about being too ambitious and unrealistic.  Be careful about asking for too much too soon.

One of my clients the other day told me,  “I want my ex to miss me and call me and  want to do everything that we use to do together.  I want my boyfriend to drive by places that remind him of us and I want it to hurt, so he remembers I am special to him. Then  I want him to get serious and commit and  learn that if he ever cheats on me again, he will never have me and will miss me forever.”

This is why I do individual coaching and write ebook.  Sometimes it take a personal touch to remove the emotions that can get in the way of our aims.  Wanting something to much and letting our emotion get in our way is almost always a losing strategy.  Sometimes it takes a lengthy book to help someone put it all together because getting back together after a  break up is really hard.

In addition to my ebooks and providing coaching services, I am extremely involved on this site.

Me and my team respond to every comment personally.  So, as long as your comment relates to the topic of making your boyfriend long for you…missing you so much that he can barely contain himself,  then you should get a response within a day.

Now, I know that’s a bit of a tall order to make good on all of that especially when you consider the state of the “get your back niche” these days. I mean, just the other day I was doing research on a forum and I saw hundreds of women NOT getting answered. But I really feel that’s what makes Ex Boyfriend Recovery different from the rest.

But Chris, My Ex Boyfriend Will Never Miss Me – He Has a New Girlfriend!

Now you may be wondering, will this help me if he already has a girlfriend?  You might be wondering if it’s a lost cause if your ex has gone out and found himself a new woman.  You are probably worrying there is no way my ex boyfriend will miss and be thinking about me.   You may think,  “He is with her now.  I am in his past and am just an old, forgotten memory.”

Well, I am hear to tell you there are a lot of ways to make your ex boyfriend miss you if he has a new girlfriend.

You might also be wondering, “will my ex boyfriend start missing all of our times together if I just ignore him?  The short answer is that even in circumstances in which you do little or nothing, guys are wired to revisit that which they no longer have.

But there are many ways you can turn the screw to make him obsess over you more than he could ever imagine.  Yes, you may feel somewhat miserable these days.  But if you and your ex are like most couples, your boyfriend is likely to be mirroring your emotions and missing you far more than you realize.

Are You Ready To Make Your Ex Realize He Needs You and  Should Appreciate What He Has Lost!

So we are going to give you a game plan.  And it starts with 15 ideas on how to make your ex boyfriend realize what he has lost in giving you up.  The plan here, going forward, is to help your ex boyfriend realize and understand that he needs you.

The idea is to do a number of things to help your guy realize your real worth and value.  When it is all said and done, you want your ex to appreciate so much more about you and realize he misses you dearly and loves you.

That is what it is going to take.  To help make this happen, you need to be devoted to following a Plan of Action that will not just create these feelings in your ex boyfriend, but you also will need to be devoted to your own self recovery needs.

Self-Healing and looking at things realistically and pragmatically is important.  This plan may work.  Then again, it might not and you have to be focused on your future paths.  Either way, you can be happy.

15 Ways To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You Instantly So It Hurts!

OK, I know some of you out there are looking for quick answers.  You are moving fast (I really want you to slow down!) through all these emotions of the break up and all you can think of is I want my boyfriend to regret he left me.  You may be thinking,  “he was so crazy to let me go and I want him to miss me so much he will never want to let me go again.”

For those of you who are thinking this way, please read this whole Guide!  It will do you wonders.  But if you have absolutely have to have my Top 15 ways to make that boyfriend come to his senses and realize he is blowing it, then dig right in because you are going to find some excellent ideas on how to proceed.

1. Don’t Think Your Ex Boyfriend Will Miss You Instantly

For whatever reasons, you and your boyfriend split up and there is going to be a lot of emotions flying around like tears, anger, resentment, jealousy, disgust, confusion, etc.  You and your ex are wading into the deep waters of break up chaos.  So if you have an expectation that he is going to regret everything he had done and come running back to you, think again.  It takes time for those feelings of longing and wanting and needing you to take form.  And it seldom takes full form unless you are doing something to move it along.

2.  Have You Heard of Radio Silence (or No Contact)? It Will Help You Set The Terms of the Break Up and Lead Him Back To You

When the relationship dissolves away, you can’t be waiting around doing nothing hoping and thinking, “I wish my ex boyfriend would want me again”.  You have to move forward and part of this process is called the Radio Silence Principle.  Others call it implementing No Contact To Make Him Miss You.  But in reality, stopping communications is much more than just ending contact.  It’s about finding a way back for yourself. It’s getting over your own pain and standing on your own two feet so you will be stronger for tomorrow and all the days to follow.  That is the front end of the process.  On the back end is the part which you set certain things in motion to make your ex boyfriend miss these little memories of you and he.  It’s about making your ex bf learn that what he thinks he wants, is far from what he will ultimately want.

3.  Your Ex Boyfriend’s Mind Will Wander Back To Those Times He Was With You Because of Psychological Reactance.

That’s right!  He will be drawn to you and come to desire you because while your are practicing the No Contact (Radio Silence) Rule, your ex’s mind will conspire against him.  Why?   Because psychologically, men (and women too), when confronted with losing something, will seek to get it back.  He will be almost mysteriously drawn to you after awhile, not just because he is missing you, but because through the No Contact Rule that you are practicing, you are in effective depriving your ex boyfriend of something that he thinks was his and could always have.  But now the routines have changed and you are not there and readily available as before.  But the deep drive within him, which has been conditioned through many months or  years of experience with you, will, like an invisible hand, pull him to toward you, wanting to be with you.

4.  Make Your Ex Boyfriend Go a Little Nuts With Some Well Timed Jealousy Ploys!

I know.  I shouldn’t be telling you this and it seems a little manipulative, but it works or it can work provided you don’t go overboard trying to make your ex boyfriend jealous out of his mind!  A little bit of jealousy can go a long ways.

5. Draw In Your Ex Boyfriend By Using Social Media Tactics

It’s not too difficult to figure out what to do here.  Or perhaps it is.  For example, some of my clients inform me they have blocked or shut down all access to their exes, preventing them to know a thing about their lives.  They tell me, “he will no longer be able to see or follow me on Facebook“.  No more texts or phone calls, they will brag. That will teach them, they tell me.  I almost always advise them to do the opposite.  Keep those communication channels wide open and flowing because you can use them in hundreds of ways to leave them little reminders about how amazing and wonderful you are.  So if you want your ex boyfriend to miss you like never before, then learn the art of leveraging your Social Media accounts to help shape your ex boyfriend’s emotions and image of you.  Social media is an enabler and will help you drive home the points you want him to see and hear.

6. Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Notice You With Someting Naughty and Suggestive

So if you are thinking that I want you to send him some nude images or show up at your ex boyfriend’s door half naked, think again!  I believe in the notion that “less is more”.  So I would advocate you do some little things that you know from your personal experiences with your ex is something he will sorely miss.  It could be a certain way your wear your hair or a certain outfit that he loves you in. It could be the sound of your voice or the manner in which you smile during certain special moments. These things are what turns him on and makes your ex boyfriend think wistfully about certain sexual or romantic experiences the two of you had together.  Whatever it is, I want you to think of it in terms of images, words, video, and sounds (audio).  Then give these things to him in as many ways as you can think of so that he sees you, hear you, or read about your story, causing these memories and feeling to come flooding back.

7.  Consider Starting a Little Whisper Rumor That Will Make Your Ex Boyfriend Ache For You.

So what you want to do here is start up a little rumor that you know will get back to your ex.  You want him to hear about it and it should involve you. It could be something about you dating.  It could be about you possibly moving away.  It could be about you going somewhere exotic.  Maybe you are going on a thrilling hot air balloon ride.  But the idea here is he will hear that you are going off on some kind of exciting adventure, the kind of thing the two of you use to do together, but now he is left out.  Chances are that some part of  your ex boyfriend will be craving to be with you and he will have all kinds of regrets he is not part of this experience you are about to have.

8. Pull On Your Ex Boyfriend’s Heartstrings By Taking a Picture of Yourself At a Place Where You Both Shared Something Special

This is a simple, but clever way to have your ex associate a positive experience he and you had in the past, with what you are doing now.  This tactic is almost guaranteed to get your guy’s head spinning with a desire to relive it with you.

9. Play the “I Just Happen To Be Here Game” With Your Ex

You know how this works.  It always works.  Even when your ex knows you are showing up on purpose to cross paths with him.  Of course, the idea is to not make it look obvious, but actually create this moment where your ex boyfriend and you are in the same space.  You will have the advantage because you would have planned it and therefor will know what you want to do and what you will be wearing.  By the way, you will be looking fabulous and you will make sure your ex boyfriend notices it all.

10. Try Playing The Ex Back Game of the “Accidental Call”

Now in this case, the butt call or whatever excuse you use to explain why he is getting this accidental call will be so well planned that he will actually fall for it.  And unlike most novices who play this game, you will be super nice, apologize for the unintended interruption, then hang up, all in less than 5 seconds.  Yep.  You gotta keep it short to sell it.  What you are trying to do here is simply leave your ex a little breadcrumb.  A little piece of the wonderful you, for him to think about all the rest of the day.

11. Turn Yourself Into the Ungettable Girl With a Whole New Makeover

In this case, you want to make yourself look almost entirely different in the most beautiful way.  Then you want to post pics and work toward running into him or whatever it is you can accomplish so he notices the new “you”.  Your ex boyfriend will probably have secret fantasies of being with this new “you” and making love with this entirely new girl, that is you.  Of course, none of those things are going to happen, at least not for some time, but you are leaving him another breadcrumb that leads right to his weakness….unfulfilled desire.

12. Accept a Date With a Guy, Preferably Somebody Your Ex Boyfriend Knows

If you want to make him a little crazy with jealousy, then go on a date and make sure he knows about it and sees a pic.  Keep it all very tasteful and classy, but the image of you with another guy is sure to get the fires going inside your ex.

13. Remember to End Your Conversation With Your Ex Bf When It Reaches Its Peak

At some stage, you and your ex bf are going to start talking again.  Whether that be text messages or phone calls (or both), you need to read up in my ebook (Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro) how you should end your conversation with him when it reaches its peak.  Leave your ex boyfriend wanting more of you.

14. Go With a Friend To a Far Away Place

Not only will this help you with your own healing and recovery, but make sure your ex knows that you are embarking on a trip.  He might be a tad jealous that he is not going with you.  Let’s say you are going on a River Cruise somewhere.  Talk about it on Social Media.  Make sure he gets the news.  Let it all sink in into his mind.  Part of him is likely to wish he was with you.  Be so bold to even reach out to him a few days before you leave, wishing that he could come along because he is “so good” at this or that (compliment him).  Buttering up your ex boyfriend like this leaves him little room to be resentful toward you and opens the door for him to miss you like crazy while you are on this grand adventure.

15. Speak To Your Ex Boyfriend Through Videos – But Not Really

So the idea here is you want to be able to convey things about you and how your are getting along without your ex, so he can see visual reminders and proof that all these wonderful qualities about you are still there and he can’t enjoy them in person.  He will miss you terribly because he can’t touch you or talk to you, but there you are in the video.  This is probably best accomplished on your favorite Social Media page.

Before We Proceed Deeper Into This “Make My Ex Bf Miss Me” Guide – Time to Meet My Team!

So let me first tell you about my system. We have a whole team dedicated to upholding our “motto,” if you will.

What’s our motto?

That everyone who comes to the site to read, watch, or comment should be helped and attended to.

Oh… how rude of me.

Perhaps I should introduce you to “The Ex Recovery Team.”

team members

Now, throughout this article you may notice that a few of our team members chime in and offer little tidbits of advice on top of the advice that I am dishing out. Don’t be alarmed by that.

You are still learning from me, Chris Seiter, it’s just that I always think five heads are better than one.

But perhaps I shouldn’t get too touchy feely here. You are here for a reason after all and that reason is to make your ex boyfriend miss you.

So, since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

17 Lessons On Making An Ex Boyfriend Miss You – Unraveling The Break Up Puzzle!

You are here to learn more details about how to make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

Indeed, over the course of the rest of this Guide, I am going to walk your through 17 Lessons on how you can optimize your chances.

If you are here, then I am going to assume that you want your ex boyfriend back. After all, why else would you want to make him miss you?

(Well, I suppose getting revenge on him is an answer here but lets just assume that, that isn’t the reason you want to make him miss you.)

The thinking goes a little like this,

“If I make him miss me then eventually he will realize that he wants to be back in a relationship with me.”

So, lets do a little role playing here and assume that you end up taking the advice I teach on this page to heart and successfully make your ex boyfriend miss you.

Do you think he will come back?

Do you think making him miss you alone will be enough?

Unfortunately no…

Don’t get me wrong, you will absolutely have to make your ex miss you if you want any chance of winning him back but it isn’t going to be enough alone.

Think of it like a puzzle.

In order to get your ex boyfriend back, desiring to be with you, hungering to be in you presence, you need to put the entire puzzle together.

puzzle

However, simply getting your ex boyfriend to miss you is essentially like trying to put a puzzle together with just one piece.

It’s impossible.

But that’s why you need a reference guide to teach you to put all the pieces together. So, The Ex Recovery Team and I have put together an entire book for doing just that.

It’s called,

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Think of it like the ultimate step by step game plan for getting your ex back. It takes you through the process from start to finish. It gives you all the puzzle pieces and covers just about every situation you can think of.

Seriously…

Take a look at the situations we cover in PRO,

  • You Cheated
  • They Cheated
  • You Cheated On Each Other
  • Long Distance
  • Being Blocked
  • He/She Has A New Girlfriend/Boyfriend
  • If You Slept With Them
  • Engagement
  • If They Are In The Army
  • If You Have A Child Together
  • If You Have Been Friend Zoned
  • How To Get Them Back After A Long Time Apart (1 Yr +)
  • They Broke Up With You
  • You Broke Up With Them
  • If You Work With Them
  • If Your Ex Just Got Divorced
  • If You Just Got Divorced
  • Getting Your Husband/Wife Back
  • If You Think You Were The Rebound
  • If They Were On The Rebound
  • What To Do If They Are Married
  • What If There Is An Age Gap
  • If You Are Pregnant (Women Only)
  • What If Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant (Men Only)
  • On Again/Off Again

But you are probably getting bored of hearing me talk about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO aren’t you? After all, you did come here to make your ex boyfriend back, right?

Well, then lets get right to it.

I give you the Ultimate Guide For Making An Ex Boyfriend Miss You.  It consists of 17 Lessons and it’s time for you to study up.

Please enjoy it! Oh, and one thing we are really good about here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery is answering people’s questions. So, if you have any type of question about the process I am about to teach you feel free to ask us in the comments section of this article.

Lets dive in!

Lesson 1: You Have A “Missing” Advantage Already Over Your Ex Boyfriend!

advantage

One of the things that I have always found fascinating when it comes to researching breakups is the scientific data that I come across. You see, I am one of those people who is low on faith.

Faith = Believing in something without seeing it.

And perhaps that’s a little strange for the profession that I have chosen since a lot of getting an ex back is all about believing in an outcome that hasn’t occurred yet.

Nevertheless, I think it would be wrong of me to try to teach you something without having proof it works which is why I find the scientific research done on breakups so fascinating.

So many insights can be derived from them.

Take The Brain Study As An Example…

Did you know that science has proven that after a breakup you experience the same type of feeling that a drug addict would feel if he/she was going through a withdrawal period?

In 2005, psychologist Art Aron, neurologist Lucy Brown, and anthropologist Helen Fisher all teamed up to do an interesting study on individuals who had just recently gone through a breakup.

They decided to have the individuals put a brain imaging tool on and then showed them pictures of their ex.

The scientists were trying to determine what was happening in the brain of the people who just went through the breakup.

The results were shocking.

The part of the brain that lit up was the same part of the brain that is commonly present in drug addicts who are going through withdrawal.

So, I guess it’s true what they say.

Love is a drug!

But one simple study probably isn’t enough to sway your opinion, huh?

Ok, lets dive in a little deeper and look at the interesting world of “Facebook Creeping”

Lesson 2: The Facebook Creeper Statistic – A Sign Your Ex Can Be Irresistibly Drawn To You!

GUILTY!

I have done this.

Hell, I think everyone does this after a breakup. It’s human nature to be curious about what your ex is up to post breakup. I remember in my circumstance with my most recent ex I would think to myself,

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.36.41 PM“I wonder if she is depressed… I bet she is. Let me look and find out.”

And ever since Facebook was invented it has become the ultimate tool for spying on on ex. Just ask Veronika Lukacs who conducted the study as part of her Media Studies Masters thesis, in which she looked at how many people have admitted to “Facebook Creeping” on an ex.

Now, if you don’t know what “Facebook Creeping” is it’s actually quite simple.

Facebook Creeping = Spying on an exes Facebook profile after a breakup to see what they are up to.

You won’t believe how many people admitted to creeping on their exes Facebook.

Nearly 90%!

(Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/28/nearly-90-percent-of-people-creep-facebook_n_1687424.html)

That’s incredible.

You realize what that means, right?

Well, it means that there is a nearly 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is going to come strolling by your Facebook profile assuming you are still friends there.

That’s amazing.

But again, I still feel this incredible need to provide you with overwhelming statistics before I specifically talk about the advantage you have.

Lesson 3: The Overwhelming Statistics Are In Your Favor

pacman

Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much?

Now, does that necessarily mean that if your ex falls into the 71% category that he is going to be missing you?

No, remember, this statistic is basically just saying that 71% of people think about their exes too much. It doesn’t dive too deep into what he is thinking when he is missing you.

He could be thinking negative things…

He could be thinking positive things…

We just don’t know.

Nevertheless, thinking about an ex too much certainly is a start towards missing that ex.

But it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. So, this basically tells us that even if you are married you may still think about your ex too much.

What are my thoughts on this statistic?

Well, I think the important distinction that has to be made is if they are thinking about their ex TOO MUCH or just a little bit. I think it’s human nature to have your mind wander to the past and think about an ex.

Hell, I am sure even my own wife has had this happen from time to time but it’s not like she can turn her mind off.

No one can.

But there is a definite difference between having your mind take a small trip down memory lane and thinking about an ex all day every day.

I would be curious to hear what people defined as thinking “too much”

Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

Now I want to talk about your “Big Advantage”

Lesson 4: The Big Advantage That You Have Over Your Ex Boyfriend Is You Are Learning About Break ups!

I got pretty darn boring just now and threw out a bunch of statistics for you. The statistics were meant to prove one thing.

What The Statistics Prove = That even after a breakup, without you doing anything, your ex is thinking about you way too much

So, if your ex is thinking about you too much then you can ultimately use that to your advantage, right?

That’s your big advantage when it comes to making a man miss you. As a default, he is already thinking about you too much. So, that puts you in a pretty good place because many of you will find that it’s not going to take too much to get him to miss you.

Now, does that mean that it’s easy to make a man miss you?

Absolutely not.

There are a lot of factors involved.

But here is my vision.

Right now your ex bf, as a default, is thinking about you too much,

default

Now, imagine if you took an ex who was thinking about you too much and coupled it with a professional’s strategies,

My strategies

Making him miss you should be a piece of cake, right?

Well, there is still one more thing that I think we need to cover before I can give you the strategy you should implement and this is something that is going to be important for you to understand because it’s going to directly affect your chances for making him miss you.

Lesson 5: The Number One Factor That Determines Whether He Misses You Or Not

Let’s role play.

Lets pretend that in your entire life you have only dated two men.

Man One – Was the great love of your life. He treated you like a queen, made you feel butterflies and as you were dating him you would often think to yourself, “I think he may be “The One.””

Man Two- You also loved Man Two but he did not treat you so well. Your entire relationship, while electric was full of fights. Man Two had a bad habit of putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself.

So, lets assume that you have broken up with both of these men.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.42.07 PMWhich one do you think you are more likely to miss?

Man One, right?

Why?

Because he treated you like a queen and your overall relationship with him was better.

And that brings me to my ultimate point.

Without a doubt the number one factor that determines whether a man will miss you or not is always going to be your past relationship with him.

Now, I am not like those other relationship experts out there that will tell you what you want to hear 100% of the time.

If you had a horrible relationship with your ex your chances of having him miss you is going to be lower. That’s just the way it is. Of course, if you had a great relationship with him your chances will be higher.

So, it works both ways.

Lesson 6: The Secret Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup

secret

Ok, one more thing to talk about before we can start getting down to the actual strategy of making an ex boyfriend miss you.

Did you know that you have a “secret advantage” if you were actually the one to initiate the breakup with your ex?

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

1. He Can Break Up With You- Where your ex boyfriend actually is the one to initiate the break up.

2. You Can Break Up With Him- Where YOU actually are the one to initiate the break up with him.

3. You Both Mutually Agree To Break Up- This one is where you both break up mutually. No side strikes first.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup.

We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct.

When I get to talking about the no contact rule (really soon) I am going to talk about psychological reactance.

But I suppose I can give you an early taste here since it is definitely going to apply.

Psychological reactance theory basically states that when you take away someones options to do something their attraction to gain their freedom to get that option back increases.

Think of it like this.

Lets say you are walking in the store with a toddler named Ricky (no idea why I picked that name but bear with me here.) Ricky tugs on your pants and points to a toy saying,

“I want that toy!”

You immediately say,

“No, you can’t have that toy.”

Well, now that, Ricky’s freedom to have that toy has been taken away what does he want more than anything?

The toy!

This is psychological reactance in a nutshell.

So, by breaking up with your ex you actually increase the chances that he will miss you because his freedom to have you has been taken away.

Pretty interesting, right?

Of course, there is one case where this might not work as well.

Lesson 7: The ONE Case Where You Might Not Have This Advantage

If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

Cheating is one of those topics that is difficult for everyone involved (including me an impartial third party.)

“Wait, why is it hard for you?”

Easy, it’s hard because I am the one that has to come up with the game plan for putting a “cheating couple” back together. Thus, I have to do a lot of research on the topic to determine the best way to proceed.

So, like I said above, you probably aren’t going to have this secret advantage if you broke up with your ex if he cheated on you.

Why?

Because clearly something went wrong with your relationship.

Generally speaking people don’t cheat on a whim.

It’s not like a guy wakes up one day and goes,

“ALRIGHTY! Today is the day I cheat on my girlfriend.”

It’s usually a slow process that takes place over months. And for a man to cheat on you generally means that the wasn’t fully satisfied with the relationship.

Now, does that mean that he never loved you if he cheated on you?

No, Esther Perel, has dedicated pretty much her whole life to studying infidelity and she has found that oftentimes men and women who cheat are still in love with their partner. They just want more excitement in their sex lives.

Now, take that whatever way you want.

I am going to take it as if there is a fundamental problem with your relationship because in my mind a man who is fully satisfied with his relationship will be excited and engaged in his sex life with his partner.

Nevertheless, if you broke up with your ex because he cheated then you aren’t going to have this small little advantage that I am talking about.

Now lets look at the other side of the coin.

Lesson 8: The ONE Case Where You Will Absolutely Have The Secret Advantage

If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

Above I established that the the secret advantage that I keep talking about heavily revolves around this idea of “psychological reactance.”

And to be honest I can’t think of situation that screams “taking a mans freedom to have you away” more than this one.

If you broke up with your ex boyfriend when he didn’t want you to break up with him then you have definitely left him with the impression that you are a very rare commodity.

It’s a bit of that law of scarcity.

You will find that the more scarce you are the more attractive you will be to men in general.

It’s the same way that diamonds are so attractive to women.

It’s the fact that they look pretty AND they are very rare.

I mean, something tells me that you wouldn’t find a diamond so attractive if you go buy it for a dollar at the dollar store.

Anyways, lets move on to the meat of this guide.

How to make a man miss you after a breakup!

Lesson 9: The “Make Him Miss You” Strategy – What Your Ex Boyfriend Doesn’t Know!

I want you to take a look at the graphic below,

strategy

Pretty straightforward, right?

“Umm Chris… no it’s not.”

Well, don’t worry. It will be because I am going to break it down for you.

The “BIG” strategy for making your ex boyfriend miss you is divided up into four different parts,

1. The No Contact Rule
2. Social Media Game
3. The “Frank Sinatra Effect”
4. Jealousy Tactics

Lets start from the top!

Lesson 10: The No Contact Rule Can Make Your Ex Bf A Little Mad With Desire!

talk to me

Throughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme.

Hell, I even wrote an entire book about it (The No Contact Rule Book.)

But why is it such a big theme?

Why do I talk about it so much?

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.49.58 PMWell that’s easy to answer. The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most successful strategies for getting an ex back. A few weeks ago I compiled all of my recorded success stories to try to determine any correlations that I could find between what the people who had actually won their exes back were doing that the people who were failing weren’t.

Turns out the no contact rule was present in 74% of the successes.

But to be honest I think that number is actually a lot higher than that.

Why?

Because a portion of the success stories that I had recorded didn’t give me much information.

They just said something like,

“Thanks, I got my ex back.”

Not really deep enough for me to determine what that particular person did to succeed in getting their ex back, huh?

Don’t believe me?

Ok, here is a sample of one of the “thin” success stories that I got,

testimonial-9

 

 

So, if you were to ask my opinion on how many of the successes used the no contact rule I would put the number closer to 90%. Whatever the case, one thing is very clear.

The no contact rule is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.

But how does it make him miss you?

Good question.

In order to answer that I think we first need to define the no contact rule.

The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for a specific period of time. If during that “period of time” you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond. The no contact rule serves three main purposes. It gives both of you a “cool off period” to calm down from the breakup, it gives you the opportunity to improve yourself during the “cool off period” and it raises the chances that he will miss you.

Sounds simple, right?

WRONG!

The no contact rule is without a doubt the hardest strategy to complete on this site.

Hell, all you have to do is visit one of my “no contact rule” pages to see just how many women are struggling with it.

But you don’t care about that do you?

No, you care about the psychology behind why the no contact rule can make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

Ok, lets tackle that right now.

Lesson 11: Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

I want you to ask me a question.

The question = Chris, what is the number one mistake you see people making after a breakup.

WOW, thanks for asking that amazing question 😉 .

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 3.18.52 PMThe number one mistake that I see people making after a breakup is begging. They beg for their exes back. The become GNATS and just stick around.

I mean, put yourself in your ex boyfriends shoes for a second assuming that you were bugging the hell out of him after a breakup with you.

Would you find it attractive if someone you didn’t have feelings for anymore was bugging you every five seconds trying to convince you to do something you didn’t want to do?

Something tells me you wouldn’t.

Now, how does this play into making an ex miss you?

Easy, a man cannot miss that which he sees every day.

One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

I know it’s kind of a weird choice when there are way more epic movies out there but for some reason “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

What can I say… I dig revenge stories.

Truthfully, I watch the movie at least once a year and you know what causes me to watch it?

Something reminds me of it and then I think to myself,

“Man, that movie was so good I miss the feeling that it gave me. Maybe I should watch it.”

But I only have that thought because I haven’t seen it in a long time. Lets say that I watched it every day for a year. I can tell you right now that at that point it wouldn’t be my favorite movie anymore. No, it would probably end up being my most hated movie. It would become stale and I would grow sick of it.

By not giving your ex a chance to miss you, via the no contact rule, you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Lesson 12: The No Contact Rule Makes You More Attractive (I Can Prove It)

Have you ever heard of the notion that “people want what they can’t have?”

People want “that” which they feel should belong to them. By taking something away from them (e.g. you make yourself unavailable by not communicating), the person will be motivated to pursue.

In the world of psychology, it’s called “Psychological Reactance”. This concept emerged from the work of the American psychologist, Jack Brehm in 1966.
“Brehm argues that individuals have a set of “free behaviors” that they believe they can engage in at present or some time in the future. Behavioral freedoms vary in importance, with some being highly important because they deal with critical survival. Stephen Worchel (2004) suggested that these freedoms help define the individual’s self-identity. A threat or elimination of freedom results in an increase of attractiveness of the forbidden act and the motivation to engage in that behavior.” http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G2-3045302191.html In really simple terms, when you implement the No Contact Strategy, it’s like you are secretly saying, “You can’t have me. You can’t talk to me. I am depriving you of your freedom to be with me”.

With psychological reactance in play, your Ex is secretly thinking, “I want what you say I can’t have. It should belong to me and is part of me, so I will pursue it”

Ah, and that leads the way to another little hypothesis that I have.

According to psychological reactance your ex is going to want what he can’t have. We have already established that. But lets take a trip to fantasy land (your favorite place in the world) and say that you successfully get your ex back.

I have this theory that the harder you make it for him to get you back the more he will appreciate you when he has you.

My buddies first car is an example.

I had a friend who wanted a car more than anything when he was 16 years old. So, he spent an entire summer mowing peoples yards to get money to buy this beat up chevy truck that kind of looked like this,

old beat up chevy truck

Pretty crappy, right?

Here’s the thing.

He treated that car so good and he loved it more than anything. Hell, even now he reminisces about it. But I doubt he would have treated it so well if it had just been gifted to him.

In fact, there was one time that I asked him flat out,

“Why do you like this truck so much?”

His response was simple…

“Because I had to work so hard to get it. Dude, you have no idea how hard it was to scrounge up the money to buy this thing.”

So, here is my theory when it comes to you and your ex.

The harder you make it for him to get you back the more he is going to appreciate you once he gets you back. After all, I doubt you are in this to get your ex back and break up again, right? No, you want a relationship that is going to last.

And the no contact rule can provide that difficulty for him to succeed in getting you back.

Lesson 13: Social Media Game Impact On Your Ex Boyfriend’s Psychological Mindset

(For more in-depth information on how to use social media to get your ex back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

And now we move on to our second part of the strategy, social media,

strategy social media

Now, if you are confused as to what this is let me give you a quick history of social media.

Since the internet started… (No just kidding. I wouldn’t bore you to death with that.)

Look, here’s the deal.

Social media is an excellent way to make your ex miss you.

How?

Well, above I established that close to 90% of exes “creep” on Facebook. In other words, the probability that your ex boyfriend is going to peek at your profile at some point post breakup is high.

So, why not prepare for that moment?

Why not pimp out your profile to be everything that he finds attractive in a woman.

How To Make Your Social Media Profile Perfect

I want to tell you a funny story that happened to my wife yesterday.

So, if you don’t know my wife she is in charge of our YouTube channel and our marketing experts. In other words, if we want to get featured anywhere popular she is in charge of making that happen.

Well, one day she decided that we should be featured on “Ted Talks” so she started trying to network with some of the people over at “Ted Talks” and she managed to locate one of the person’s Facebook profiles.

So, rather than asking me to reach out directly she decided that since this person was a man it would be better if she reached out since she knows she is a very beautiful woman.

There was just one problem.

This was her Facebook profile picture,

profile picture

Now, I don’t know about you but that’s not going to make any man fall over himself. Well, except maybe me (that’s my daughter.) My wife, of course, knew this so she decided to change the picture to something really sexy like this,

ellas grove

That’s my wife in a model shoot for some clothing company named Ella’s Grove.

Anyways, what do you think happened to her after she changed her profile picture on Facebook from our child to a sexy looking picture of her.

All the men went wild (myself included.)

She was getting comments like,

comment 1

comment 2

comment 3

Ok, first off… what the fu*k?

Looks like I have to beat some people up.

COME SEBASTIAN!

We have some work to do!

sebastion

No I am just kidding…

Please don’t take that seriously.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.57.49 PMThe point of telling you this story was to show you how powerful a picture can be. You can potentially make your ex boyfriend one of those men and show him what he is missing out on by posting strategic pictures on your social media profiles.

So, here is what I am going to do.

I am going to teach you my two best methods for catching a mans attention via social media.

1. The Profile Picture Change
2. The “Fun” Picture

Lets start with the profile picture change.

The Profile Picture Change

This is what my wife did and indirectly got all that attention from men.

Now, I am going to pick on myself a bit here.

Before I met my wife I heavily relied on good looks to attract attention. In other words, any picture I posted to Facebook looked like this,

not a good picture

Now, even though this picture isn’t bad it isn’t earth shatteringly amazing which is what I should be going for.

And then I met my wife….

The woman who forced me to get professional pictures done.

Like this,

professional pictures

Do you see the difference.

This is the kind of picture that I want you to be posting to your social media profile as your profile picture. Here is my general rule of thumb, any picture that makes you look like you belong in a magazine is definitely the one you should have as your profile picture.

So, I guess what I am saying is that you should hire a professional photographer to take your picture. Now, for those of you who don’t want to step outside the comfort zone and hire a photographer I have one piece of advice to you.

Often times it’s the things that make us step outside our comfort zone that yield the best results.

The “Fun” Picture

I have a question for you.

What do you think your ex boyfriend expecting you to do after the breakup?

He’s expecting you to mope around and be depressed.

Don’t believe me?

I remember an early breakup of mine where this is exactly what I thought.

“God I hope she is suffering.”

Pretty mean, right?

But when I would spy on her Facebook profile and see that she wasn’t depressed it would drive me nuts. I want this exact thing to unfold for you when your ex boyfriend snoops around your profile.

So, how can you accomplish this?

Easy, post pictures of yourself out having fun.

Here is a great example. Look at the picture below,

These girls like they are having fun. This is the kind of picture you want to post.

Because here is what he is going to think when he sees it,

“Wait, why is she out having fun? Why isn’t she sitting at home eating ice cream like I thought?”

Once you get him thinking that this thought is right around the corner,

“I’m kind of jealous…”

And as I am going to establish later in this guide jealousy can lead to a man missing you.

Lesson 14: The Frank Sinatra Effect

(For more in-depth information on The Frank Sinatra Effect check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

frank sinatra

One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from a man by the name of Frank Sinatra.

“The best revenge in life is massive success.”

Now, what does that have to do with making an ex boyfriend miss you?

Good question.

In order for me to answer it I first need to tell you a story. To me, teaching people to get back with their exes is my passion and in order for me to give people advice I need to understand the trends.

What works and what doesn’t work.

So, that’s why I am always keeping an eye on your comments and questions to me. But the one thing that warms my heart more than anything are the success stories!

Not just because I helped people get back together but I can learn so much from them.

Anyways, one trend that I began to notice with a lot of my success stories was the fact that the women who ended up succeeding were actually completely moved on from the break up and living successful lives.

It’s sort of like it was at this point that their ex finally woke up and saw their worth.

Hell, I even did an entire podcast about this phenomenon here.

Anyways, I kept seeing this phenomenon pop up again and again so when I did an audit of my success stories last month I learned that a lot of women who had actually completely moved on from their exes were able to get him back.

It sounds counter intuitive, right?

But maybe not.

Lets turn our attention back to psychological reactance.

By moving on from an ex boyfriend completely you are indirectly saying to him,

“You cannot have me. You have lost the freedom to have me.”

Which of course as you know, will only make him want you more.

And that’s where the Frank Sinatra effect comes into play.

I want you to “move on” without moving on if that makes any sense. I want you to live an incredible life outside of your relationship with your ex.

Here are a few of my best tips for doing this.

Lesson 15: Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You During The Frank Sinatra Effect

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you while in the midst of the Frank Sinatra Effect. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control.

When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape

There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying that you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Pretty shallow I know…

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. Anyways, I was walking with my buddy when she yelled my name and we started talking. After we were done talking we went our separate ways and I remember my buddy going,

“Dude she is sooo HOT why did you let that one slip through your fingers?”

I explained that she didn’t look like that back when I knew her but now that I saw this new and improved version I wanted her immediately.

So, I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her which was relatively easy because she liked me (or so I thought.)

Anyways, we set up a relatively simple date to go on at a restaurant. The plan was that we were going to meet there and we would probably go for a walk after that. There was just one problem.

She never showed up.

During the day of the date I had reached out to her to ask if we were still on (BIG MISTAKE) and got no response…. the hours inched closer to kickoff and I still hadn’t heard from her. I was starting to get worried so like an insecure guy I reached out to her again,

“Hey, are we on for tonight?”

No response..

It was starting to become clear that I was going to get stood up if I went to the restaurant but I figured I would give it one more try.

“Are you there?”

Again no response…

She didn’t want to go on a date with me.

Ironic, huh?

Karma I guess!

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period (which is when you should probably be in the Frank Sinatra mindset) make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much.

Just focus on the most important thing, you.

If you were to ask me what I thought one of the biggest mistakes that I see women engaging in are I would definitely have to say that becoming to obsessed with their ex is at the top of the list.

In order to truly “move on, without moving on” you can’t be too worried about what your ex is doing. You need to be worrying about what you are doing.

I haven’t talked a lot about this yet because maybe I am trying to save something for my book. but maybe I think it’s too good to leave out.

If you really want to make the most of the Frank Sinatra effect I am going to teach you an amazing strategy. Well, perhaps strategy isn’t the right word to explain this. No, I would say this is more of a philosophy.

I like to call it…

“The Holy Trinity”

(Oh, and this is not biblical at all I promise.)

You can divide the most important aspects of your life into three categories,

HWR

  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

I don’t have to explain what is comprised of the categories, do I?

Well, I will tell you what, I am just going to leave my book for that.

Basically if you want to utilize the Frank Sinatra effect to the fullest I recommend that you try to maximize these three areas of your life.

You will notice that in the graphic above there is an intersection of the three.

The intersection where all three meet.

Hmm…

Perhaps it’s better if I pointed to it for you,

HWR copy

What you are trying to do here is find a perfect balance between your health, wealth and relationships. By doing so you will jump up in attractiveness to your ex.

Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and work on the holy trinity for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life

You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.

or

B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.”

Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.

Lesson 16: Jealousy Tactics Can Draw Your Ex Boyfriend To You

(For more in-depth information on how to use jealousy to get your ex boyfriend back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

jealousy

A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way.

It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

If you want to learn more about what you can text your ex boyfriend I recommend checking out “The Texting Bible.

Lesson 17: Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You Every Single Day!

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs that your ex boyfriend is starting to really warm up to you.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has multiple positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you, do not be afraid to comment in the section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally as quickly as my schedule allows!

5,778 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

  1. Avatar

    Yvonne

    March 24, 2019 at 4:45 pm

    Hi Chris, I was with my partner for 20 years, I’m absolutley devastated that we broke up, the last few years were tough but I always thought we’d be together it was more like a marriage. That was 3 months ago ,I made all the usual mistakes begging and pleading. I think he’s got someone else but I’m not sure. I’ve not contacted him recently but the problem is he’s my boss so although we don’t speak we’re in the same vicinity and it’s horrible. I’ve accepted that I can’t change his mind so I’ve cleared the house we rented together and I’ve took all my bills wages ect out of our joint account. I’m trying to move on with my life, but I do truly love him. I’ve lost 20lbs ,try to look happy and smiley. Do you think I should leave my job to make him miss me more? Or do you think he’s totally moved on and I don’t stand a chance? Thanks Y in Scotland. X

  2. Avatar

    Florence

    March 12, 2019 at 10:09 pm

    Hello Chris. My boyfriend broke up with me and I did all the wrong things like begging and pleading, which I knew I should not have done. A day later, I went into no contact. On day 22, he texted me, explaining why he kept mute all that time and telling me how shocked and surprised he was that I had ever asked him if he didn’t love and want me anymore . It was a long text. He ended by saying “I thought we should be best of friends and lovers, who do not take anything personal”…
    To be honest, he never said he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore but when I noticed he was distant, and asked that question, and he didn’t respond, I took it to mean he didn’t care anymore. Also, every attempt to placate him the next day, was met with stoic silence, so I took that to mean he had broken up with me, and started no contact. Well, I did respond to his text but I was quite reserved, though polite. I also kept it short and didn’t carry the conversation.
    I hope I get him back, Chris.

  3. Avatar

    Hanu

    March 8, 2019 at 4:57 am

    Hi Chris, my story was bit difficult. Donno how to explain!! He left me three months ago. I did such things like begged, pleaded in an emotional psychic. But he is still in contact to motivate me. But I know he is missing me too and addicted to drink. I didn’t apply Nc yet. Just for 1 week I’ve not in contact with him. When I’ve seen his texts after that week he was missed me a lot. The problem is, he is not convincing his parents to get married. He is not daring. During our 2years friendship n 3years of relationship we never fought for once also.. so much understanding btw us & very romantic pair. Still am missing him. If I apply NC now, do I get him back or I loss forever?? He is more strategic & intelligent. But I want him back. Please help me. And I don’t have much time also, my parents searching for another guy for wedding. Is there any chance to win him back within 2months?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 8, 2019 at 10:50 pm

      Hi Hanu!

      You should give serious consideration to implementing NC for some time period as it has, though in this situation I would recommend much beyond a few weeks. You are already week in and have gotten some positive efforts from him.

  4. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 22, 2019 at 3:54 am

    hey so I made it even simpler and said “I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry about yesterday and I’m sorry we are going through all of this”

    I know I’ve hurt my chances more :(. I was doing so well and I messed up. He didn’t respond to the above text but I think he at least read it. Things may never work out now but I still feel like I have to try just not be so needy and never mention getting back together for maybe 5 months or more or never.. I hate this feeling of neediness. I don’t like giving up.

  5. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 21, 2019 at 8:19 am

    This is a edited version. I felt like the other one was too long.

    I just wanted to say I’m sorry about our fight at the U of A. I shouldn’t have been so impulsive.

    You won’t be hearing from me for a while.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 21, 2019 at 10:36 pm

      Hey Barbara…I think that works as a “heads up” for going into No Contact

  6. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 21, 2019 at 8:10 am

    Hey Chris,
    I was thinking about sending him this email. What do you think?

    I just wanted to say I’m sorry about our fight at the U of A. I don’t want to hurt you and I have a bad habit of spitting out what comes into my head. I really didn’t want to bring it up but it has been bothering me and I felt like I needed to.

    Even though I really do want things to work out I can’t change your mind that’s your decision. I want you to be happy and If that means you’re happy without me than I’ll have to be ok with that.

    You won’t be hearing from me for a while.

  7. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 21, 2019 at 6:52 am

    Hey Chris!

    I made a HUGE mistake. So my ex and I go to different schools but I joined a club that is at the same school that he goes too. I walked into the cafeteria and one of the first people I saw looked like him from the back. He had his U.S. motorcycle helmet, a new jacket, his leather jacket and that blonde hair. So I came over and sat at his table. He was surprised because he didn’t expect to see me there. I said hi and asked if it was ok if I sat down. I asked him how he was doing. He told me that he was getting 3 to 4 hrs of sleep because of school, That this has been his hardest semester so far and he just had a test. He said he had to leave soon because he had his political club tonight. He asked me how I was doing. I told him a story about a seizure dog at the hospital, my classes, the parts I like and dislike about my job. I tried to be upbeat and positive most of the time. He said it sounds like you are doing good. He wasn’t the normal smiley person that he used to be around me but he wasn’t angry. He said it sounded like I was doing well.

    I gave him a hug and almost walked away without bringing up the breakup. I was so close but it has been eating me up so I felt like I had to say it. I told him “I don’t know If I can be your friend because I want more than that. I told him that I love him and I’m worried that when he goes to California for work that I’ll never see him again. I told him I don’t know what you’re thinking and you need to tell me and that you can’t hold it in. I told him I need to know If this will ever work out and that I didn’t want to pressure him and that he didn’t have to give me a decision right now. He was so frustrated and sad it took him forever to get the words out. His face was really red. He said “I don’t know if it will ever work out and I’m sorry” I can’t remember if that is word for word or not. He told me a month ago that he didn’t want to discuss this again in a month. I asked him If he can think about and he said ok. He said that he felt like our relationship never grew that we stayed in the same place and that he tried so hard to make things work. He said that we didn’t get to see each other enough, that he felt like I didn’t want to spend time with him and that we were fighting too much. We didn’t fight but we would argue. He said he wasn’t happy anymore. He used to tell me how happy he was with me. In August he was talking about getting engaged. I talked briefly about the reasons why he said he broke up with me. I told him I wanted to have a family with him someday, and that I didn’t think he let the conflict with him and my mom stop him before. He said it bothered me and I told you that but I didn’t show it. I told him I can’t control how my mom feels about him. I gave him a couple of hugs before I left. He let me hug him but he didn’t hug me the way he used to. I asked him if he was ok with me texting him and he said he needs more space/time I can’t remember which. I got mad because I felt like he didn’t care about me and I said “You care that little about me”? He started to walk away. I don’t remember if I said anything but he came back and said that I would do anything for you and left shortly after that. So we both left sad and angry. When we could have left neutral. I feel so bad that I brought it up and I’m not sure what to do.

    A long time ago my mom really pushed me to break up with him and he knew about it. So one night he drove around for a hour and then texted me that he wanted to fight for us. There was some other time that we were talking about breaking up and I threw up because I was so stressed out. He was relieved because it showed how much I cared.

    So right now I’m thinking several options.

    A. Send him a email apologizing for bringing up the subject again and be honest with my feelings. Wish him the best.

    B. Don’t text him for another month or two to try to lessen the damage I did.

    C. Never text him again, give up and move on

  8. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 20, 2019 at 8:20 am

    I planned out how I wanted Day 5 to go. What do you think? It might be weird to plan out exactly how the conversation is going to go but I guess I know how he’s reacting right now so I’m trying give myself the opportunity to say what I need to without being too needy. Right now he is being polite by answering what he needs to but he doesn’t care how I’m doing. It’s similar to my very first contact message because there is a little mystery and he has to reply to it.

    Me: Hey, so you know how I don’t like to dance in front of like… anyone? Well, now I have a good reason and I’m scarred for lifeee!
    Tim: What happened?
    Me: I was being goofy and dancing to music and I had the feeling like someone was watching me so I turned around and they were just staring at me and they couldn’t stop laughing for like 10 min :). So the lesson is that you can only really be yourself when you are alone ;).
    Tim: No response or that’s funny.
    Me: I don’t believe that it’s possible to truly be yourself around others except God. You put on a different mask for different people. I’ve noticed that I can have a carefree attitude with my friends but then I’m really shy and scared around anyone that is in authority. What do you think?
    Tim: I disagree, You should be able to express yourself around everyone.
    Me: Right now I guess what I’m trying to realize is that it’s important to have things that you enjoy in life. It’s important to have friends,ambitions and it’s ok to want silly things like skincare or books but that if we are living only for ourselves or to please someone that we will never feel complete because I’m nothing without God. He should be the center of everything I do. I really like this verse Psalm 16:2- I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.

  9. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 20, 2019 at 4:20 am

    Hey Chris!

    So I waited two days and he never initiated a conversation. I texted him at like 8:00 p.m. tonight. Here was our conversation.

    Me: I sent him a funny picture about politics and I said “I thought you would enjoy this it made me smile :)”
    .
    Him: Thanks

    Me: How was your day?

    Him: It was good. I had an opti exam other than that just busy with homework.

    Me: Sent a funny meme about hw.

    He didn’t even bother to ask me how I was doing. I feel like he’s being selfish right now. Last time I texted at least he bothered to ask me how I was. What do you think I should do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 21, 2019 at 3:27 am

      Lots of guys are just no so good at communicating in a selfless, sensitive way. It kinda a guy thing for way too many guys. Just keep things on a positive vibe.

  10. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 17, 2019 at 6:01 am

    Ok. Thanks I’ll try that. I sent a picture of a dog with a comment today and he never responded. It didn’t require a response but he could have replied. A couple of hours later, I asked him how he was doing he responded in a minute with “I’m ok. Hbu?” I said I’ve been pretty busy but I’m good 🙂 and that was the end of the conversation. So I’ll do what you said and see what happens :).

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 17, 2019 at 11:06 pm

      Good luck Barbara!

  11. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 16, 2019 at 5:43 am

    So I sent my first contact message about the dog’s heart that stopped beating. he responded by saying “What happened?” and “That’s good”. When should I ask him how he’s doing?

    For tomorrow I was thinking of sending one of the other first contact message ideas I wrote about. What would you suggest? I was going to save more interesting stories for later on. Or send a funny meme about vegans, homework, comic books, exercise.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 17, 2019 at 1:20 am

      Hi Barabara!

      Sounds like you are on the right track! Maybe wait 36 to 48 hours or longer before sending another text to see if he will initiate.

  12. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 8, 2019 at 4:18 am

    I know that my attempt at trying to win him back might not work. I am trying to accept that it might not work and that life will move on with or without him. Do you think it is necessary to move on before starting a new relationship with someone? I know how to be content with myself because I’m a introvert but lately it’s been hard to focus on other things besides him. I don’t like that he is consuming my thoughts in negative ways. I’m ok if I think of the good memories. I am trying so hard to make things work out but If they don’t than they don’t. I have to develop more ideas on good text ideas. He’s very stubborn so it basically has to be HIS idea to make things work out. I love him, if I didn’t I would give up.

    I know it would be very hard for him and my family to feel comfortable if things worked out.

    I’m nervous about contacting him. I’m worried that he’ll either ignore my text or reply with something rude even though he has treated me very well over the years.

    He hasn’t contacted me at all during the no contact period because he said he needs time to heal so maybe he doesn’t miss me at all? I’m worried that he is either angry, resentful, sad or has moved on already.

  13. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 6, 2019 at 7:45 pm

    Ok. Thanks! I’ll use that one soon!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 7, 2019 at 2:19 am

      Your welcome Barbara!

  14. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 5, 2019 at 6:30 am

    I looked at some of your posts and here is a couple of possibilities for a first contact message after no contact. I’m a vet tech so some of them might be odd :). Could you let me know what you think? Thanks!

    Message 1

    Me: You won’t believe what just happened to me?

    Him: What?

    Me: I was recovering a puppy from anesthesia and it’s heart suddenly stopped. Fortunately we were able to revive it and it’s ok now :).

    Message 2
    He’s a good dancer and would want me to dance with him. I’ve always been self conscious of being goofy and dancing in front of others.

    Me: I am…..like scarred for life.

    Him: Why?

    Me: I thought everyone was in bed so I was dancing to some music and suddenly I turn my head and someone is starring at me and they couldn’t stop laughing for like….. 10 min ;).

    Message 3
    He loves meat and I used to be a vegetarian.

    Me: Send a pic of me holding a chicken. This is before I ate the chicken! Wa ha ha 😉

    Message 4

    He likes retrievers

    Me: Send a pic of a retriever with a man bun.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 6, 2019 at 1:33 am

      Message 1 wins the race!

  15. Avatar

    Barbara

    January 31, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    I begged and basically said that I can date other people and I know that he can too but that I can’t give up hope. Is something like this better? I thought about sending a text about something he’s interested in but the thing is we are very different and If I did that it would be weird and unexpected. He likes motorcycles, politics, optics, guns, superhero and sci fi movies

    Hey. Do you remember the name of that Mexican restaurant that we had dinner at in Oro valley? I want to go there with a friend. I thought it was so funny that out of all the options you choose a burger :).

    Hey do you remember that name of the pet store that you took me to with reptiles and birds? I want to go there with a friend. Hope all is going well.

    And then for a second text later on
    “ I’m watching Superman right now and It made me think of how much you like Dean Cain. I hope all is going well.”

    Hey. Do you remember that one time we saw the King and I together? I was so excited that you got the tickets. I hope all is going well.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 1, 2019 at 12:31 am

      Hi Barabara. You might want to revisit some of the texting strategies I discuss in my Program and eBooks. Its a bit of art to it in that you want to generate curiosity…a lot of curiosity if possible, but keep it briefer. Feel free to visit my home page and the resources I offer.

  16. Avatar

    Barbara

    January 31, 2019 at 12:56 am

    I was thinking about contacting him with this message when I’m done with no contact and to say this but I’m worried that he’ll be hurt and think that I don’t care for him anymore and that I’ve moved on. I’m hoping that it will help bring his guard down so he doesn’t think I’m pressuring him to get back together soon.

    “Hey, I just want to let you know that I’m cool with the breakup. A lot of exciting things have been happening in my life lately, will love to tell you about it sometime. Also, I wanted to thank you for everything. Thanks a lot!”

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 31, 2019 at 1:25 am

      Hi Barbara….its not a bad text, but my recommended method is for a briefer kind of text and different approach. I talk about in much greater detail on my website and of course my eBooks!

  17. Avatar

    Barbara

    January 28, 2019 at 11:06 pm

    Someone broke up with me because of the situation not because of me. The issues were children, future, family and church. They said they need time to heal and that they love me and didn’t want to do this. I’ve been told “I don’t know if things will ever work out (marriage) and that it would have to be a long time from now.

    1. He really wants his won kids and a lot of them. I told him I didn’t want to make a decision until I talked to a geneticist. He was hurt that I didn’t make a appointment. My family has some health problems. He told me he didn’t want me to become a baby factory for him

    2. He said I didn’t want to have a future with him. That’s not true the only reason I didn’t say that I did is because my family isn’t fond of him especially my mother. He tried to get along with my mom but eventually gave up. He’s moving to California not this summer but next summer and he wanted me to go with him. He said he was thinking about getting engaged but that these problems bothered him. He didn’t want me to choose my family over him.

    3. I’m a non denominational Christian and he’s Catholic. He said he didn’t care about what denomination I was and he would never make me convert. I told him that I thought it was important that our children be raised in a one denomination household.

    Resolutions

    1. I’m seeing a doctor soon and then it will take 6 months to see a geneticist.
    2. I told him that I do want to have a future with him.
    3. We go to a Lutheran church or we go to separate church’s and the children will probably be raised catholic.

    He’s told me over the years that he has been so happy with me and how much he loves me. Someone told me to beg for him afterwards so I sent a email and he responded. Then in 2 weeks someone told me to call him and tell him some stuff so I did. He told me that “I don’t know if we can ever be married, it would have to be a long time from now and that he didn’t want me to wait too long for him and that he needs time to heal” I told him that I can date other people but that I can’t give up on him so I sounded pretty desperate. He sounded miserable on the phone and was crying and choking up. He said he doesn’t know how to be happy with himself and that he doesn’t have that many friends so he basically lost his best friend.

    I do NOT need him in my life but I WANT him in my life. I’m a very easygoing person and he is stuck in his ways and stubborn. I will not beg for him anymore. I am not his doormat. I will not let my life revolve around him. I’m introverted so I enjoy spending time by myself. He will have trouble finding someone as easy going as me.

    I’ve been trying to grow by reading my bible, exercising, spending time with friends, going to school and doing my internship. I’ve been watching your videos and have been developing a plan on how to try to get him back. I’m doing no contact right now. I don’t think I can be friends with him because I’ll always want more than friendship. He is not above me I will be treated as his equal or he will never see me again. We have been together for almost 4 years and are emotionally attached. We’ve talked about marriage for a long time.

    Relationships aren’t all about one person and what they want. They need to be compromise. Love is not self seeking.

    Do you have any advice? Thank you!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 28, 2019 at 11:24 pm

      Hi Barbara….so you should be proud of some of the personal recovery activities you have gotten involved in. Yes, I do think the NC principle is the right medicine so long as you implement it in the way I teach it in my Program. And a big yes to couples learning the importance of compromise and seeking to fulfill each other’s needs.

  18. Avatar

    jeane

    January 22, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I have a situation! i broke up with my ex bf because we had been arguing at least once a month for a whole year and i had had enough! it was getting worse everytime, getting more toxic and unhealthy and going out of our way to be horrible to each other! so i firstly distanced myself without saying anything then when he text saying i cant believe you are doing this at the hardest time of year (christmas) i said i had enough of arguing and i was DONE, i asked him to delete my number and leave me alone, and so he replied saying i will delete your number as requested and that was on the 13th December, we have had NO CONTACT since but exactly a month later (14th Jan) he put my things i had left at his house on my door step, we are both very stubborn and im not sure if he is leaving signs of wanting me to reach out? I have deactivated my facebook account, but he still has my mum as a friend which he has liked her status (its a first as he never had before) can you advice on what to do next or keep my radio silence abit longer?

  19. Avatar

    San

    December 9, 2018 at 2:59 pm

    Hi Chris, so I disrespect my boyfriend of which I know is bad and he started ignoring me so I will nag when ever he doesn’t reply me and it’s been 3 months since he hasn’t texted me. So today I went and apologized again and he posted on his status “ Don’t waste your words on people who deserve your silence, sometimes the best thing to say is nothing “ and I replied to his status with” okay understood, wish you the best sir” and he hasn’t replied. I don’t know what to do anymore. Should I text him or what

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 10, 2018 at 1:04 am

      Sounds like it may be best to employ No Contact. Swing by my home page to learn more about some of the resources and tools available.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 10, 2018 at 12:57 am

      Sounds like NC is in order

  20. Avatar

    Laura

    December 6, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    Hi Chris, could you please give an advice on how to deal with a love-avoidant? What is the best solution in this case, keeping no contact as long as possible or initiating encounters and being his friend? I have been in no contact for almost 2 months with my ex (he requested it after a wonderful one-year relationship, and I’m ashamed to admit I panicked and acted too clingy), then I contacted him on his birthday a few days ago… he accepted meeting up, it all went well but I feel he is distant, keeping away from me both physically and emotionally. He agreed for us to remain friends, but it scares me.. I know he won’t reach out first and it also hurts to see him treating me like a mere friend. I don’t know what to do from now on, pls help with an advice. Thanks a lot!

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