Every time I write one of these epic guides I always think to myself:

“How can I make this site better? What haven’t I covered yet?”

Essentially I try to take an outsiders view and look at Ex Boyfriend Recovery’s overall weaknesses. It is through these weaknesses that I can learn more about how to improve the site as a whole for you. After all, the main point of this site is to prepare you so that you have the best chance to get your ex boyfriend back. I have been thinking a lot lately and have noticed one area where this site really lacks is when it comes to phone calls.

More specifically, how to make an ex boyfriend answer the phone and what to do once you are talking to him.

Well, today that “weakness” is about to become a “strength!”

I would like to introduce you to my ultimate guide on calling an ex boyfriend!

Or perhaps more accurately, the guide on getting HIM to call you!

What This Guide Is About

(If you want more in-depth knowledge on how to get your ex to call you and potentially get him back please check out my E-Book.)

lets get started meme

If you are an avid reader of this site then you know that I am not a huge fan of calling an ex boyfriend right off the bat. Because I hold this view it tends to complicate things. You see, a lot can go into “calling” an ex before a call is even made and this guide is going to explain that.

Of course, we live in an age where people want specifics. So, specifically here is what I am going to cover:

  • Decisions being based on emotions.
  • How those emotions tie into a phone call.
  • How emotions can be lessened with time.
  • Common reasons an ex boyfriend will not return your phone calls.
  • What will make an ex boyfriend call you.
  • The importance of swallowing your pride sometimes.
  • Proper phone call form.

Pretty interesting stuff huh?

Before I get started I do want to say one thing. Above I put together seven broad topics that I am going to cover within this guide. I know at times I can get a little bit wordy but I really want to push the importance of you reading this entire guide and not skipping a section. This stuff is that important.

Think of it like a math problem. If you skip one tiny little step you are going to get the problem wrong. The same can be said about this guide.

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Decisions Being Based On Emotions

emotions

Before I really dive in to the phone call stuff there is something I need to explain to you.

The majority of decisions made in this world are done with emotions in mind. For example, every night before I go to sleep I watch TV shows or movies on my iPad. While I certainly do it for entertainment purposes I also do it because I know that if a show or movie is written well enough it is going to make me feel good. The decision that I made to watch a TV show on my iPad is done with the end goal in mind, making me have a positive feeling.

I want you to stop for a moment and really think about how many decisions you made based on emotions today.

Here, I will give you another personal example from my life.

I am currently taking a few classes at a local college near my home. Today I made the decision to drive to school in my car. While that may seem like a fairly emotionless decision lets take a look between the lines. I made the decision to get in my car and drive to school. I made the decision to go to school so I could get a good job. Through that job I will be able to earn money. If I earn enough money I will be :).

So, the seemingly innocent decision to get in my car and drive to school can be traced all the way back to an emotion that I want to feel.

Your Mind = BLOWN ;).

All kidding aside lets apply this newfound knowledge to relationships.

Good Feelings Vs. Bad Feelings

feeling bad

Humans generally have two main feelings when it comes to emotions.

Would you like to take a wild guess at what those feelings are?

Yup, you guessed it they are good feelings and bad feelings.

While I realize a first grader could figure this out I would still like to take a moment to define what is considered a good feeling vs a bad one.

Good Feeling- A type of feeling that fills you up with joy and happiness.

Hey, that’s what I consider to be a good feeling 🙂 don’t criticize.

The thing that I find most interesting about good feelings is the fact that we all tend to gravitate towards them. While I am sure this is an inappropriate example nothing can illustrate my point better than it.

Someone who is addicted to a drug is addicted to the good feeling or the “high” that they get. Once that drug user uses that drug and gets the good feeling they don’t just stop there. The keep wanting more and more of it so they can feel that feeling again.

The whole point I am trying to make here is that no matter what we will always be drawn to things that make us feel good. This is especially true when it comes to relationships but before I go into that lets talk a little about bad feelings.

Bad Feeling- Something that fills you with heartache, hardship, disappointment, anger, etc,etc

Above I talked about how both men and women tend to gravitate to things that make them feel good. The opposite is true with bad feelings. Men and women tend to run away from things that make them feel bad. A perfect example to illustrate this point is an embarrassing example from my own life.

When I was in high school I was afraid to go into the weight room. I wasn’t exactly a “fit” guy back then since I was basically stick thin. Anyways, I had a bad experience while I was there when some of the fitter football players made fun of my appearance.

Anyways, the feeling I felt after the verbal lashing from those football players shaped my perception of the weight room in high school. Instead of doing what I should have done, facing my fears and making my weakness a strength, I was consumed by this bad feeling I got every time the words “weight room” were muttered. As a result, I ran away from that feeling by never going to the weight room again.

Do you kind of understand what I am getting at here?

Yes? No? Maybe?

Whatever I am moving on ;).

I would like to talk about how these concepts apply to your ex (or more specifically calling your ex boyfriend.)

How These Emotions Tie Into Calling An Ex Boyfriend

Picking up a phone and calling someone is a big deal now-a-days.

It wasn’t always that big of a deal once upon a time. I am just old enough to remember the dark ages of dating where you still had to “call” someone.

You see, I grew up on calling. If you wanted to go out on a date you had to call a girl up and ask her. In fact, I didn’t send my first text message until I was 18 years old. Funny story, I was actually so shocked the first time I received a text message from a girl that I thought it was a mistake (the technology was foreign to me.)

Anyways, it takes a lot now-a-days to get someone to pick up the phone and call you.

When you are dealing with an ex boyfriend the task can seem impossible but I assure you that it’s not. Of course, you do have some headwind holding you back a little bit.

Remember above when I was talking about all that “good feeling, bad feeling” stuff? Well, with an ex boyfriend it is all about having the “good” outweigh the “bad.”

Think of it like a massive pros vs cons list:

pros vs cons

As long as you can find a way to shape his perception and have more pros than cons then you have a really good shot at talking to him on the phone. Of course, the problem a lot of women face when dealing with an ex boyfriend is the fact that they won’t return their calls because of the “bad feeling” or cons they are having about the relationship.

Now, I am sure that the biggest question on your mind is HOW? How can you put more pros on the list than cons?

That all depends on your ability to understand that calling an ex right off the bat is NOT a good idea. Yes, I am actually recommending that you DON’T call an ex right after a breakup.

Here’s why.

With Time Emotions Will Stabilize

why so serious

(I am sorry, I couldn’t help but put the joker meme here!)

I am a big believer in logical thinking.

In fact, when I first started this site I used to believe that as long as you could think logically and push the right buttons you could make an ex boyfriend call you and eventually get him back.
It was only through interacting with you and seeing different situations that I realized that I was wrong.

Emotions matter!

Perhaps I should rephrase that:

“controlled” emotions matter.

You see, you need to find a perfect balance between logical thinking and emotional output if you want an ex boyfriend to call you or to pick up the phone when you call.

Most women make the mistake of calling their exes immediately after a breakup. The reason this is a major mistake is that right after a breakup there is no logical thinking. Instead, your emotions are running the show and that isn’t always a good thing.

This is why I am so adamant about the no contact rule.

Not only does it have advantages for making an ex miss you but it allows you enough time to get in the logical mindset that you need to get an ex boyfriend to call you.

Throughout this site I have talked a lot about the no contact rule. However, there is one aspect of NC that I really haven’t ever gone into, the stabilization effect.

The Stabilization Effect

stable

(Too much nerd? Ok, ill stop!)

A few sections ago I talked about a major concept that ties directly into making an ex boyfriend call you.

Remember that pro’s vs con’s list?

Well, one of the main questions you were probably wondering was how you can get rid of some of the cons. Admittedly, after a breakup your cons are going to be a lot higher than your pros on your exes list. However, the main reason for that is the fact that emotions are heightened after something emotional happens (like a breakup.) Of course, with time that emotional headwind you are facing from him is going to lessen.

I like to call this the stabilization effect.

One important aspect of creating a period of “stabilization” is that you can’t keep contacting your ex. Doing that is essentially the same thing as poking a bear, eventually the bear is going to explode but if you wait until the bear calms down he is going to be much more receptive of you.

Here is the deal though, if you can create a period of stabilization through no contact and are able to successfully “calm” your exes bad feelings towards you then you are going to be in a good position to get him to call you (or to get him to return your calls.)

I did a lot of general research for this guide and I have to say that I was not impressed with the “so called” advice that my peers were giving when it came to getting an ex boyfriend to call you. Look, I am going to make this really simple for you, the key to getting any guy to call you is to give him a reason worth calling.

Or better yet, become someone worth calling (again.)

Now, before I talk to you about what you need to do specifically to get him to call I would like to take a look at the reasons why he WON’T call you.

The Reasons Why Your Ex Boyfriend WON’T Call You (Or Return Your Calls)

(If you want more information on calling your ex boyfriend or information on how to get him back please check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO Guide.)

call me maybe memes

I had an interesting conversation with someone a few days ago. This particular woman really wanted to get her ex boyfriend back but there was just one problem, she made every mistake in the book. Of course, it wasn’t until she stumbled across Ex Boyfriend Recovery that she realized that her behavior was not ideal.

Anyways, after talking with me she was feeling pretty down about her chances and then she said something that I found fascinating.

“At least I can learn from my mistakes.”

There is this perception that I am some sort of relationship “expert.” I am going to tell you all right here and right now that I am not. In fact, I have made so many mistakes in my own personal relationships that I sometimes wonder why my (now) ex significant others stayed with me as long as they did.

Of course, I will say one thing about myself. I do have a unique quality when it comes to relationships.

I want to learn from my mistakes.

The way I view it is that as long as I can learn from my mistakes I can become a perfect boyfriend/husband to any girl I am with and to me that is like winning the game of life.

So often people are frightened to death of making a mistake.

The truth is, that you never learn from a success. You only can learn when you make a mistake. So, as you read the list of mistakes I am going to compile below I don’t want you to freak out if you have made one or all of them. Just say to yourself:

“I am going to learn from them and become a better person.”

Mistake #1- You Became A Call/Text Gnat

gnats

I remember when I was first trying to think of a word to describe how annoying it is to get text after text from someone you don’t want to hear from. I ended up settling on a text/call gnat because no matter how many times you keep swatting at a gnat it never goes away.

Seriously, I remember when I was a teenager walking with a group on a mountain trail and gnats started buzzing around everyone’s heads. Gosh that was so annoying because no matter how many times you swatted at the gnats they just kept coming back for more.

Text/Call Gnat- Someone who repeatedly calls or texts you (of course, you don’t respond to any of their calls or texts.) Unfortunately, they never get the hint and keep calling or texting.

We have already established that an ex boyfriend is likely to run away from things that will give him bad feelings. Unfortunately, the more you call or text when he doesn’t want you to the more likely it is that you are going to reinforce his decision of why you give him bad feelings.

Think of it like this.

What if during your relationship with your ex you were constantly calling him. Now, he is your boyfriend so he pretty much has to pick up every time you call (if he was a good boyfriend at least ;).) Every time he would pick up the phone you would nag him about something. That feeling of nagging can sometimes burden a man and unfortunately that burdening can lead to pain.

So, when you look at this cycle what do you see?

In this (made up) scenario your ex boyfriend now views you calling him as a con on the pros vs cons list? Why? Well, because it seems that every time you call him you leave him with a bad feeling.

So, how does this all apply to call gnats and text gnats?

Every time you become “the gnat” you are reinforcing those bad feelings or better yet, reminding him of them.

DON’T DO IT!

Mistake #2- Trying To Force Your Ex Boyfriend To Return Your Calls

blackmail

Lets switch gears here and focus on those women who are trying to call their ex boyfriends.

First off, there is a specific way that you have to call your ex boyfriend to ensure maximum success. I will go over that later. For now, I want to point out something incredibly annoying that women can sometimes do when they get desperate for an ex boyfriend to pick up their calls.

It’s funny, out of all these mistakes this is the one I think I feel I have the most insight into because in a way I live it every single day. Every day I get women contacting me trying to force me to answer them and help them with their problem. While I respond to every single person in the comments section of this site I no longer respond to emails (unless they have to do with the E-Book.) If I responded to every single person through email I would literally get nothing done. Anyways, I can kind of understand where your ex is coming from on this one.

Your ex boyfriend may find it very annoying if you were to force him to do something that he doesn’t want to do.

Often times you will see a desperate woman try the old:

“PLEASE CALL ME! It’s an emergency!!”

or the

“Call me or I am going to de-friend you on Facebook.”

Now, I bet you are wondering why I chose these examples. The truth is that I chose them specifically because they illustrate a few good points. Lets take a look at each “plea” individually.

“PLEASE CALL ME! It’s an emergency!!”

What is the first thing you notice about this statement?

Right off the bat I will tell you that I sense the person who is saying it is extremely desperate. Desperation is NOT ever attractive. However, for some reason there are a select group of women that tend to think it is.

Sticking with our “good feelings vs bad feelings” concept I would say that desperation is a per-cursor to a “bad feeling” which is why desperation is not considered attractive. You see, desperation itself usually means that the person who is desperate is not stable emotionally and people who aren’t stable emotionally tend to have some serious “bad feeling” vibes.

Also, I want you to take a look at the second part of the statement. You know, the “It’s an emergency!” part.

Any time anyone ever texts this to me I start freaking out and wracking my brain with everything that could have possibly gone wrong to cause the emergency. Interestingly, I have a different reaction when an ex girlfriend says this to me. I would most likely roll my eyes and think to myself

“oh god, what now?”

“Call me or I am going to de-friend you on Facebook.”

If someone were to ever say this to me I would flat out de-friend them on Facebook. I don’t want a friendship with someone who threatens to de-friend me when they don’t get their way. What’s that famous line that TV shows and movies always seem mutter?

We don’t negotiate with terrorists?

Well, when it comes to relationships men don’t negotiate with women who give them ultimatums. I mean, that is essentially what that statement is, an ultimatum.

Can you imagine if I took your phone from you and said:

“If you don’t do exactly what I want I want you to I am going to break your phone.”

Something tells me that you wouldn’t be too happy with me.

Funnily enough, you would probably do what I wanted so you could get your phone back but you would always hold the fact that I gave you an ultimatum against me. That is essentially what an ex boyfriend would feel if the above statement was said to him.

Don’t give your ex an ultimatum just so he will call you.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

How To Make An Ex Boyfriend Call You

(Again, I have to recommend my E-Book if you want more in-depth information on the whole “ex recovery” process.)

call me maybe

Now we are getting to the good stuff!

This is the part where I am going to give you in-depth instructions on how you can make an ex boyfriend potentially call you or pick up your calls. Before I get started I do just want to say that everything from this section on is going to be very important so make sure that you are paying attention.

I am assuming that getting an ex boyfriend to call you is just one little aspect of your overall goal which is probably to get him back. Thus, this section is written with that deeper goal in mind.

Enough talking, lets get started!

The Overall Gameplan

zombie apocolypse team

What do we know so far?

Well, we know that good feelings will always trump bad feelings, an ex boyfriend has a pro’s vs con’s list and the no contact rule is extremely good for putting you in a logical mindset.

All of these concepts are going to tie into a deeper gameplan with one goal in mind, to make your ex want you so bad that he calls you.

The first part of this gameplan starts with the no contact rule.

The No Contact Rule

If you haven’t done one already then I suggest you do it.

If you don’t know what the no contact rule is then you can read about it here.)

Why does this matter if you want an ex boyfriend to call you? Well for a couple of big reasons.

For one, it is really important for you to obtain that logical mindset that I keep talking about. Also, the act of entering into a no contact period alone can sometimes cause an ex boyfriend to call you. However, I don’t want you to get too settled on the fact that he “may” call you during NC. Doing that will not help you achieve a logical mindset. Instead, you will just be reinforcing the emotional mindset that you probably already have.

The time for emotions will come AFTER the no contact period. Lets talk a little about that now since it is where most of the “get your ex to call” strategy comes into play.

Post No Contact

After you successfully complete the no contact period you can start working to get the “con’s” off your exes list by conditioning his mind to view you with “good feelings.” Now, the question you are probably wondering is how?

How in the world are you supposed to do that?

I am not going to lie to you, it’s not going to be an easy task.

What you have to do is combine a logical and emotional mindset together.

You see, you want your “logical” mindset to keep you grounded and ahead of your ex when it comes to talking to him. However, at the same time you want an emotional mindset to bring out the good feelings that he associates with you. It is through your exes emotions that you will get him to call you or pick up your phone calls.

Please realize that I gave you a very broad overview of the actual “gameplan.”

What I would like to do now is go into the specifics of the gameplan so you have a really good idea of what to do to make your ex boyfriend call you.

How To Get Him To Call Or To Pick Up Your Calls

(Yup, I decided to bug you again about this silly E-Book!)

yoda call

I wouldn’t be shocked if your ex boyfriend associates you with bad feelings.

This is where your real work begins.

You see, you need to find a way in which you can turn his bad feelings into good feelings. Personally, I have found the best way to do this is through text messages. More specifically, consistently hooking him into conversations that reinforce your good feeling vibes.

The Emotional Connection

You know what I love about texting?

I love it when you meet someone new and you are literally on the edge of your seat anticipating their next text. In fact, there have been times where I anticipate a text message so much that I get angry when I don’t receive a message as fast as I want it to come.

There is something magical that happens when you actually build an emotional connection with the person you are texting. It’s almost like everyone starts out with a very logical brain but the more and more you build an emotional connection with someone your brain becomes more and more emotional and the most ironic part of it all is that we love it when it happens.

Love makes us do wacky things.

Don’t believe me?

If you ever get to know me really well then you would know that I am the type of person that needs to get my beauty sleep. In other words, I really loving sleeping in. When I was 18 years old my girlfriend at the time caused a change in my sleeping pattern.

You see, at that time I was a senior in high school and I really wanted to see my girlfriend more than once a weekend. So, we worked out a way to see eachother almost every day. I would wake up at 5:30 in the morning and drive to school early. Around 6:00 we would meet and have 2 uninterrupted hours to just talk (and do other things ;).)

6 years later I look back and think how in the heck did I wake up that early?

Seriously, if you were to walk into my room tomorrow at 5:30 in the morning and poured cold water on me I would still be sleeping. The main difference is that currently I don’t have an emotional connection with anyone but I imagine if I did I would get up at 5:30 in the morning to see that person all over again.

Can you imagine developing that type of connection with your ex boyfriend?

THAT is how you make him call you and you are going to do it through the least threatening way possible, through texting.

Text Messages That You Absolutely Need To Use

(For more information on text message (and more text messages) I implore you 😉 to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

texting

It’s weird right?

A guide that is supposed to be about phone calls and we are going to spend a huge chunk talking about texting. Well, here is the way I look at things.

When you get on the phone with you ex (and I say when because I have complete confidence that YOU are going to make this happen.) I don’t want the phone call to end in an argument, be awkward or cause bad feelings. Instead, I want the phone call to be like old times, to help rebuild the emotional connection that you both used to cherish.

Well, the way to accomplish that is to use text messages to prime your call.

In other words, you are going to get your ex used to associating you with good feelings before you talk on the phone so that when you do things will go extremely well.

Below I have compiled a lot of text messages that you should use to get your ex to associate you to good feelings.

IMPORTANT (Guidelines For Texting)

All of the text messages you see below should NOT be used in one conversation.

If there is one thing I have learned about the women visiting my site throughout this past year it is that they want results fast. This is the type of thing that you can’t rush. Rebuilding an emotional connection can take time. So, here is how I want you to approach things:

Step 1: Use The First Texting Example

Step 2: Study Your Exes Response To That Text

Step 3: If The Response Is Positive You Can Use The Next Text

Unfortunately, there are a few important points I still need to cover.

If your ex does respond positively to the first texting example that will give you the ability to use another texting example on this page. If this is the situation you find yourself in DO NOT use the texting example in the same conversation you used the first example. Instead, you can use it in the next conversation you have.

Now, if your ex does NOT respond positively to the first texting example then you need to take a step back and realize that he isn’t ready to build an emotional connection yet. That is completely ok it just means that you need to go back into no contact period for a while and give him more time.

It is also important to note that you have to be careful when you use the text messages. It is easy to get carried away and fall back into an emotional mindset. While there are times that are good for that you do need to keep your wits about you. Your goal with every interaction you have with your ex boyfriend is to leave him wanting more.

That means YOU have to have the willpower to cut the conversation off right when it is starting to get good.

I hate to say this but it is a game and you have to be smart about how you play it.

Lets take a look at our text messages.

The Celebrity Comparison Text

Who doesn’t love a good compliment?

Any time any girl compares me to a good looking celebrity it makes me feel pretty good. However, it also makes me sit up and take a look at the girl doing the comparison. The reason I like this text message so much is that it gets your ex used to comparing you to a good feeling.

How?

Well, if you compare him to a good looking celebrity it is going to make him feel good.

That will make him associate that good feeling with you since YOU were the one that gave it to him.

However, there is a bit of a problem with this text message. You see, generally you don’t want to inflate his ego this early. So, I am going to recommend that you use this text message as a way to open the conversation. It seems less awkward this way. Check it out below:

celebrity comparison

Another important thing that I would like to mention is that you shouldn’t continue the conversation too much longer after you send this initial text.

Why?

Because your ex is likely going to fish for more compliments and you want to leave him wanting more. Lets move on to our next text message.

The Video Text Message

I am betting that you read the words “video” and automatically assumed I meant go on YouTube and find some sweet video to text to your ex.

No.

There is a time for that in a conversation but this is not it.

Instead, I was thinking that you should do something a little more…. personal.

One of my favorite things to do when I text is to send out videos to my friends. I love doing it to see how they react to it. However, would you like to know what I love even more than sending out videos?

Yup, you guessed it, receiving them!

I love receiving messages from a girl that I am interested in and I am going to guess that your ex is the same way. So, I want you to send him a video of yourself. Don’t do anything goofy. Remember, you are trying to establish a connection with him not creep him out.

Below I have compiled a list of the very best video messages I have received throughout my life:

  • One of the sweetest messages I ever received was literally a second long. The girl simply blew a kiss to me :).
  • Another great message I received was a girl walking down a hotel hall just talking about what she did all day.
  • One of the best video messages I received was a girl masterfully flirting by commenting on something I said.
  • I had another girl play the guitar for me over video. Now THAT was well done!

The “Remember When” Message

Do you remember when you read that get your ex boyfriend to call you guide on your phone or computer?

Oh wait, THAT’S RIGHT NOW!

This text message is all about making your ex boyfriend remember a good time the two of you had together. Remember, we want to reinforce that you = good feeling.

The key to this text message is to choose a good time that the two of you had together. However, if you know of a time where your ex was the only one that had a good time you can use that as well (just pretend like you had a good time too.)

(Side Note: Do not use the time you had sex for this. That’s a little too much too soon.)

I have found that the more details you give the better the feeling your ex will get. Also, don’t be afraid to try to get him involved when you are recounting the memory. For example, you can pretend like you forgot something about the memory and are asking him to recount it for you. Doing this will give him a mental visual of the memory and hopefully bring up those good feelings from within.

Here is how I would do it if I was in your shoes:

 remember when text

The “How I Feel” Message

This is your first true test. You are about to take a chance.

I want this text message to be all about how you feel. Yes, for the first time during this entire process you are going to talk about your feelings!

Time to get emotional, OH YA!

Ok, ok, I will stop being goofy and get straight down to business.

The key to making this text message work is to not get too emtional. Don’t get me wrong. I do want you to tap into your emotions but I want you to be really conservative on how you display them.

The point of this text message is really to study how your ex reacts to it. Essentially, you are going to say something semi sweet, as I will demonstrate in the graphic below, but what you are really looking for here is to see if he says something sweet or semi sweet back.

If he does then you are in business.

I recommend going with a text message like this:

how I feel message

Lets move on and talk about the two types of phone calls you really want to receive or make!

The Two Types Of Phone Calls

phone calls

I would like to now turn our attention to the real reason this guide was created, phone calls.

In my experience, there are two types of phone calls that we are going to be shooting for.

  1. Out Of The Blue Phone Calls
  2. Leading Phone Calls

The thing that I want you to remember is that these two calls are NOT created equally. Getting one of them is much more valuable than getting the other one. However, for the purposes of this guide I am going to cover each of them.

But really at the end of the day the main goal here is to get on the phone with your ex boyfriend so you can work on getting him back. So, just getting either one of these phone calls can be deemed a success!

Anyways, I would like to start with the “out of the blue” phone calls!

Out Of The Blue Phone Calls

blue

Have you ever gotten a phone call out of the blue?

More specifically, have you ever gotten a phone call out of the blue from a guy you had feelings for? It’s pretty great isn’t it?

That is essentially what an out of the blue call is.

Out Of The Blue Phone Call- When an ex boyfriend calls you up out of the blue based on the “good feeling” vibes that he has towards you.

This creates a pretty interesting question.

What if an ex boyfriend calls you during the no contact period? Would it still count as an “out of the blue” call?

Well, that’s a complicated question because if he calls you during the no contact period from a place of anger I wouldn’t consider it a true out of the blue call.

Take a look at the texting section above. It is through those text messages that you can tap into your ex boyfriends emotions and cause him to replace his bad feelings towards you with good ones. If you are able to do that successfully and cause him to want to call you then you are probably well on your way to receiving a phone call from him that is “out of the blue.”

In my opinion, this is the most powerful type of phone call there is.

Why?

For one, he had to physically pick up his phone and call you. But you also have to take into account the fact that most guys don’t call girls unless they like them in some shape or form.

Lets take a look at the second type of phone call, the leading phone call.

Leading Phone Call

mordor

Essentially, this is the exact opposite as a phone call from out of the blue.

Of course, if this type of phone call is done correctly it can be a very powerful way to get your ex boyfriend on the phone. It’s important for you to realize that with this type of phone call we are flipping the script. Instead of looking for a way to make HIM call you, you are going to take the reins and call him!

Leading Phone Call- A type of phone call where you lead him or warn him that you are going to call. However, the key to making it work is making the “warning” very intriguing. So intriguing that he has no choice but to accept a phone call from you.

The leading phone call is a term I coined because you kind of have to “lead” your ex into the call. The only way it works is if you have turned his bad feelings into good feelings. Now, I am not saying that you have to be perfect. All I am saying is that you have to do a good job with the text messages in the section above for this to work.

So, how does it work?

Well, I want to tell you a story.

When I was 21 years old I ended up going on a date with a girl based purely on looks. I am not going to lie, she was a very good looking girl. However, during our date I slowly began to realize that her personality was horrible. It’s not that she was a mean spirited girl or anything like that. It was the simple fact that she was boring. Everything she did bored me. Everything she said bored me. I remember zoning out multiple times throughout this date.

Of course, there was another problem. I couldn’t get rid of her on the date. There were so many times where I wanted to text my friend to send me a “fake emergency call” so I could slip out but I took my car on the date and picked HER up. Add in the fact that I don’t like drama or confrontation and you have me sitting through one of the most boring dates of my life.

Perhaps the funniest part about this whole story was what happened AFTER my date. So, I have one really close male friend who knows my deepest darkest secrets. I was talking to him after the date and explaining how boring this girl was.

He said, “show me her picture.”

I remember I pulled up Facebook showed him her picture and got the following response…

“give me her number right now.”

Three days later my best bud is dating her 🙂

So, what in the world does this amusing story have to do with the leading phone call?

Nothing… absolutely nothing at all.

Well, ok I lied there is something to it.

I want you to tell a story. Except the story has to be long enough and interesting enough to be told over the phone. What I want you to do is prime the story through text messages. So, lets use the story I told above as an example.

The first thing I would do is send an ex this text message:

leading phone call

I want you to notice how well I primed the phone call. I made my messages intriguing and kind of led my ex on a little bit before I dropped the big “can I call you?” question.

Why do you want to ask permission to call your ex boyfriend?

Think of it like a test.

If he gives you permission to do so then you are definitely IN! However, if he makes up some excuse for why he can’t talk you then you need to hit the reset button and try again at a later date.

Proper Call Form

(Man, you are a hard sell :(. One last time here is where you can find my E-Book.)

rabbitt talk phone

Up until this point we have been talking strictly about how to get an ex to call you (or to pick up your calls) but one thing I haven’t gone into is what you are supposed to do once you get them on the phone. Well, that changes right now!

This is going to be the final section of the guide and arguably the most important one so make sure that you are paying attention.

I have thought a lot about how to structure this category and I decided to start with two general ideas.

Talking On The Phone Is About Two Things

I have talked on the phone with a lot of people in my life so this is really something that I consider myself to be an expert on. When I am interested in a girl there are two important things I do to keep them coming back for more. In fact, the women who have succeeded the most with their exes employ these things too.

  1. Control
  2. Hooking Your Ex Into The Conversation

Lets start first with control

Control

What do I mean when I say control?

Simple, I want you to control the conversation as much as you can. That means that you are going to dictate where the conversation goes and how long it will last.

Of course, in order to control someone you have to really get them hooked into your conversation first.

Hooking Your Ex Boyfriend Into The Conversation

Have you ever spent a day watching celebrities being interviewed on a talk show?

I know I have.

I have never met any of these celebrities in real life and yet somehow I am fascinated by them. Why is that? Well, my favorite celebrities are masters at telling stories in person. One celebrity that comes to mind is Hugh Jackman. Seriously, if you have never seen this guy interviewed before stop what you are doing and go watch him. Not only does he light up the room when he talks but the stories he tells are fantastic.

Now, imagine if you could tell your ex a story like that? Imagine if you could hook him into the conversation with a story.

I touched on this subject a little bit in the “leading phone call” section.

Of course, you don’t have to tell a Hugh Jackmanesque story to hook your ex into the conversation. You don’t even need to be perfect. You just need to leave him with a good afterthought!

The Afterthought Effect

You know what I have found to be the TRUE way to get someone to fall for you.

Let me give you a hint. It has nothing to do with being with the person “in the moment.” No, the real way to get someone to fall for you is to hijack their brain and leave an imprint (inception style.) So, imagine this. What if you and I were to talk on the phone and you did an amazing job of hooking me into a conversation. When we were to get off the phone I found that I can’t get you out of my mind. When I close my eyes I am thinking of you. When I wake up in the morning I am still thinking about you. Every time I check my phone for a text message from my best friend I am still thinking of you.

THAT is the afterthought effect!

The Afterthought Effect- The emotional feeling your ex boyfriend is feeling towards you after he hangs up the phone from your phone call.

Of course, the AE (afterthought effect) is not always positive. Lets say that you and I used to date. We recently just talked on the phone for the first time in a long time but instead of me being left with positive thoughts of you I was left with negative ones after we hung up.

This would be considered to be a negative AE and something that you need to avoid at all costs.

The afterthought you create will all depend on how well your call with your ex goes.

Oh, and a little friendly advice.

Always leave him wanting more!

Which is what I am about to do to you ;).

383 thoughts on “This Will Make Him Call You Or Answer The Phone”

  1. michelle

    November 28, 2018 at 3:44 am

    Hi Chris, i already got phone calls with my ex but i ruined it i got angry and start fighting a bit but in the end of the phone i apologize to him and end the conversation good terms. Is it okay to call him again or just not contacting him for a few days ? is it ruining my relationship with him ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 29, 2018 at 3:45 am

      Hi Michelle….ooops. Well, we all can get angry in a flash when the breakup emotions have not come into balance. Give it a few days.

  2. R

    November 3, 2018 at 7:38 am

    hello chris, and EBR team
    so me and my ex broke up two months a go, i did a successful NC and we reconnected again after a while, we had fights maybe once or twice but after that everything was going great expect he didnt want a relationship, he said we can be friends, i told him i refuse that situation but we’re not gonna talk about it now until his life gets better, he was so gentle and kept reminding me of good memories and we talked a little about things after we get marriage but he never really said we got back together, a week a go he saw my sister’s male friend’s comment on he photo and he was talking to me and it was some sort of a compliment, he got mad and we fought, we had a really big fight, i told him that i’m done playing mind gamed and if he really loves me and he’s jealous we have to make a serious step, i told him i can’t tell people stop talking nice to me cause u get mad when u’re not even my boyfriend, he also talked to my mom before the break up so my mother texted him after this fight telling him that if u want her u have to make a decision.. we didn’t talk after that, i’m doing a NC now all over again, what do u think i should do too and what would be my next step.. i can’t find any topic here that matches my copmlicated situation..
    we have been in a long term relationship and this wasn’t our first break up but am really tired of trying..

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 4, 2018 at 1:05 am

      Hi R.

      Good for you! NC can be very effective but be sure to roll it out in the way I teach it. Its a two front effort…your recovery and the recovery of the relationship. Do you have my eBook as it is a great Companion Guide?

  3. Kelly

    October 17, 2018 at 11:07 am

    Hi!
    Rrading these are very insightful. My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me today. The reason for our breakup is that we have the same arguement about his inability to emotionally open up to me and verbalize how he feels. Within one hour of breaking up he removed me from Facebook and set my messages to ignore. Will he realize hes made a mistake and want to talk to me if I implement NC? Please help.

    Thank you so much!
    Kelly

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 18, 2018 at 11:30 pm

      Hi Kelly!

      Yes, sometimes that is how it works out. A guy can act out rashly….impulsively doing or saying something stupid. Many guys will block, then later unblock as they can stand no knowing what is going on with you. Whether its good or bad, our souls kinda cross thru each other and so its hard to let go. That is the spiritual explanation. There is a more technical brain chemistry explanation too!

  4. Nelma Tavares

    January 2, 2018 at 7:56 am

    My boyfriend and I were in a relationship for 2 years. He broke up with me over the phone 4 months ago. I did the NC a couple of times during this period for 3 to 4 weeks. We haven t talked to each other since then. He texted me 3 times this month. To wish me a safe travels back to Europe for the holiday period, for Xmas eve and NYE. The 3 texts always started by “I just wanted to tell you…”. I systematically kept it short and sweet but am Kind of bored now by this kind of interaction and don’t know how to rekindle with him…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 6:30 pm

  5. Ebony

    September 21, 2017 at 11:27 am

    Hey my fiance of just over a year left me about a week and a half ago, I was distraught. .. I still am! We were in a long distance relationship so obviously he left me over a message on instagram. He told me he was leaving me for my own good, as we both have really bad mental health problems, so he said he needed to be on his own and that I needed to get help… he always used to say he would never leave me, and he was always going to be there for me. Now it feels like he’s a completely different person, he’s unfriendly me on Facebook (but kept our photos up and it says he’s still engaged), he’s blocked me on instagram. I am doing the no contact rule, it just feels so horrid. You would never think he would be this type of person. At all. Just after we broke up he said he still loves me and he wouldnt be the guy to just dump me and never speak to me again, but he hasn’t messaged me at all… I’m a wreck, from what I’ve calculated the No contact rule ends a day after his birthday in October … I don’t know what to do. Despite everything I love him so much, I know I shouted at him a lot and I know sometimes I treated him like cap but I didn’t realise how bad it was until now. You know when people say you don’t realive what you have until it’s gone? Yeah that’s me right now. I didn’t appreciate him as much as I should have.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 26, 2017 at 7:34 pm

      Hi Ebony,

      Extend your nc a week more

  6. Jessie

    August 2, 2017 at 4:34 am

    I loved reading this article, but unfortunately I am at a crossroad where I have no idea what to do. My ex boyfriend’s best friend is texting me and he told me that my ex still loves me but is afraid to leave his current girlfriend for me; (in the past I cheated on him). I think he’s afraid to go back to me and afraid to waste his time or be rejected again, (which I will not do). My question is: How or what can I do or say to my ex boyfriend to convince him that this time really am being truthful? (Also the last time we talked he said he wants to see my actions, he doesn’t believe me words anymore , after I’ve lied too many times saying that I was a changed person).

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 3, 2017 at 6:13 pm

      If you can work and have somebody else look over your child while you work, that would be better.. You need to know and cultivate your self worth.

      You cheated on him before but right now you’re chasing him. You’re accepting that you’re the one who has to prove something even though he’s telling you he wants to be with you while he’s in a relationship.

      Hanging out with other guys especially his friend is like proving to him he’s right about you..

      Staying friends with him now is lowering your self worth too because first, you’re putting yourself in the friendzone. Second, it’s starting to look like you’ve been making up for a mistake that was a long time ago and both of you should have moved on from it since he’s in a relationship now too.

      You’re showing him you’re just there, always waiting for his forgiveness..

      The better approach is to talk to him about what happened calmly. Tell him you’re sorry about what happened before but you’ve forgiven yourself and that’s not you now and it’s up to him whether he forgives you or not but you’re moving on from that for your self respect and for your child.

      If he wants to get back with you, he has to do the right thing first, break up with his current gf. If he says it’s just because he doesn’t trust you, tell him, that’s for him to work out for himself because that was a mistake years ago. Thank him for eveything and tell him you hope that he understands and respect the space you need for yourself.

      And then do at least 30 days of nc.. Don’t tell him you’re doing nc. Don’t tell him you’re going to contact him after 30 days. If he asks if you will contact him again, tell him as of now you don’t know yet. If he asks if you’re still friends, tell him as of now that’s not workable.

      Improve yourself. Have a new routine for yourself and your child. Have your own life. Prepare your life in a way that if you don’t get him back, it will hurt but it’s his loss, not yours. You have a lot in store for yourself and in your child’s future.

  7. Jenn

    July 6, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    Hi Chris-
    Quick question on my scenario…wont go into the long backstory but….Ex and I have been apart for a year now. We have texted only a few times over this last year. The last time was 4 months ago when I wished him a happy birthday. Last week I sent him a text asking if he would be ok with having a chat and catching up. He did not reply to the text, however, 5 days later he called me! I missed the call and he left a really nice message saying that he would definitely be up for getting coffee or a bite to eat and for me to give him a call when I had a chance. I called him the next day, well he did not answer and I left him a nice upbeat message. Saying it was nice of him to call and to give me a call back when he had a chance. Well now its been a week and nothing. Thinking the best action from me is to just wait. Wanted to know your thoughts?
    Thanks a bunch!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      why not try the no contact way? Be active in improving yourself and don’t contact nor replying for at least 30 days and be active in posting too and then initiate contact and continue the activities and posting while slowly building rapport?

  8. sesilia

    July 5, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    Hi,
    I’ve been following your advice to do no contact rule. when I’m done I planned to talk to him at night but he did it before me. before he contacted me. I had a talk with friend that ask me how I’m doing because my frend know we broke up. At first I said I’m ok but during we talked my friend know that I had a difficult time. I’m doing my best to get out from depression and improve myself. I know later that this friend of mind actually talked to my ex boyfriend. asked if he still mad at me and what his next plan. my friend also mention to him that he is very important in my life that’s why It was very difficult on me(he didn’t mention in details). my ex boyfriend didn’t know and his expression was shocked (acording to my friend). he thought he is not important person. then he started to like my Instagram and contacted after 3 days. but he contact me straight with asking when he can give me back my shoes. and wanted to ask about school stuff. It’s always asking stuff and my help. sometimes he will complained when I try to cheer him he didn’t say anything or reply very short. since he reply very short I didn’t reply him back. then he contact me again and ask again if I can help him fix his bracelet. After we talk I explained to him that I can try help him but not sure because It’s really not easy. and he send me cry emoticon. now I really don’t know how to handle this. can u please help me?
    Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      Hi Sesilia,

      how many days have you done nc when he contacted you and were you active in improving yourself and in posting?

  9. Sami

    July 5, 2017 at 9:13 pm

    Hey,
    My ex and I have been separated for almost 8 months now. We were in a 4 year relationship and broke up for a few different reasons I successfully completed NC not too long after the break up and then started texting and/or calling fairly regularly but it never really progressed so I stopped putting in so much effort. Now either of us will randomly tag in memes or he will call which I think would be considered and “out of the blue” call and chat for at least 30mins. The calls are usually 2-3 weeks apart and generally around the same time of the week. I always feel good after our chats and then progressively start to decline for a few weeks and then that’s usually when he calls again. I’m wondering if he’s topping up his good feelings and if I should just ignore them until something more substantial happens? I’d rather ignore then continue to be roped into a cycle. Last conversation he said he had collected me some merchandise from an event he runs annually and he knows how much I love free merch! I told him just to let me know when he’s free and I’ll come collect it or whatever was easiest – we haven’t seen each other since the break. I hadn’t heard from him at all so I just gave up on it and decided to let it go. I want to let go because I want to move on but there’s part of me hanging on and I just want to understand what’s going on.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 7:30 pm

      it looks like you’re friendzoned.

  10. Avy

    July 4, 2017 at 9:59 am

    Hello there, I really appreciate your work! It’s been helping me a lot.
    So, I have been thinking about my ex quite a lot lately… We dated for almost 5 months until he dumped me because of our long distance relationship. He said he was tired of the long travels to see me and I was a little immature at the time, I confess. So we broke up in the ends of October. And after no contact, he send me a messenger in December, on the Christmas day, wishing me nice holidays. We started then talking about random stuff and he kept telling me news about him. How he was working closer to me now. We started saying how he missed me in some ways and that made me angry. How he didn’t appreciate me before. And I asked him, if that’s so, why did you break up? And he said it wasn’t because he didn’t liked me, it had to be because he was tired of my immature ways and travels. In the begins of this year, I started not to answer to my ex because he would send me random snaps or funny images. He didn’t send me something about him or a specific message about us, so I felt annoyed by his behaviour. I was just starting to care again and he didn’t show real interest in me. Until June, he would message me and I would be cold. So we were on and on. Talking and not talking. He always initiated the contact. By June, he was saying how he missed our intimate time and how he had been with other girls but it was not the same because it lacked the emotional bond we had and we could see each other and maybe try something out again. I told him I was with someone, not boyfriend, but seeing if it worked out, so I wouldn’t be with me like that. And even if I was single, I wouldn’t be just a one night stand girl. He wished me luck. But kept insisting on being with me. One day he said he wanted to be with me to talk and I agreed. We both needed closure if we wanted to be friends. I asked him “if you were interested in me all this time, why didn’t you invite for a coffee for example”. And he said “because you were saying you needed space and giving me the cold shoulder”. He was always touching me and putting my arms around him. And I kinda kicked him out of my house. When he arrived home, he messaged me. And we have been talking every that for weeks. Last Friday, after me and the guy I was seeing broke up (wish my ex doesn’t know for sure just assumes it), we were together and he kept trying to have sex. I said no and we just kissed and made out. After he left, we talked again but he seemed kinda angry becuase we didn’t have sex and I told him that it didn’t happen becuase that is special for me and it would get emotional and I didn’t want to fall again. After that he would send me very short messages and I stopped answering last night. So the conversation ended like this:
    – (me) “Do you remember when we went to that mountain trip?”
    (Where we had so much fun, for I’m to remember our good moments).
    – “(Him) Yes, of course girl”
    – “(Me) we ended up not going to the lake there that you wanted to visit”
    – (him) “yeah, we didn’t”

    Since he seemed kinda bored, I stopped answering. Now I don’t know if I should try or just let this go. Because maybe he just wants sex and since I’m not giving it he seems bored and I’m scared to fall in love again

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2017 at 4:58 pm

      Hi Avy,

      Actually it’s so obvious that he just wants sex..

  11. Lilly

    June 25, 2017 at 2:29 am

    I tried the emotional text example and I can’t tell if it was a good result….

    Me: can I just say something

    Him: for sure

    Me: I’m so glad you and I are talking like this. It’s been really nice and I enjoy you as a person

    Him: I totally agree haha, it’s been nice

    Seemed like he was just being polite?
    We are talking seminregularly as friends but I don’t know how to break the barrier and make him want me to be his girlfriend again…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2017 at 5:43 am

      Talk about interesting stuff for him.. That’s kind of a positive response from him but it’s like he just agreed with you

  12. Elsshse

    June 20, 2017 at 5:06 am

    Hi. My boyfriend for 6 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago.
    At first he asked for space and time because according to him he got tired of dealing with me being clingy he got tired of loving me.
    It all started when he had a major problem with his family related to business. He got so busy that he almost didnt want to make time for me. I completely understand that and i have a big respect for his family. But it was my emotions that caused the break up.
    I became too moody, clingy but after a while i ALWAYS apologize for my bad behavior and i always tell him that im.still adjusting to this big change because their major problems right now reallly affected his lifestyle and our relationship.
    And going back, yes i did give him time and space NC for almost 5 days but during those five days NC , my friends contacted him asking he how he was, he told them he’s super lost he misses his self he’s tired of me tired of everything. My friends told me that and
    That made me contact him again, iasked him if that was true and he said yes. And he doesnt want to continue what we have anymore. He said he doesnt love me anymore and that I deserve someone better. After that message i initiated a talk personally because i didnt want to break up through “chat”. But he didnt want it. After that he didnt talk to me anymore he even deleted our pictures on his instagram
    And im still here after 2 weeks wondering if he would still change his mind if we still have a chance of getting back together. Idont know i feel.like was left hanging. What should i do now

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 23, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Restart nc.. do at least 30 days, be active in improving yourself during and after nc while slowly building rapport and be active in posting

  13. Anna

    May 2, 2017 at 4:24 am

    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 2 months ago and we’ve been together for a year. I went into no contact right after the break up. Recently we’ve been texting frequently and it’s been really positive; however I called him and he didn’t answer or return the call. What should I do now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 2, 2017 at 7:00 pm

      wait 3-5 days before initiating a text again

  14. Anne

    March 4, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    My boyfriend and I were together for about six months. I broke it off with him eight days ago because he was not a good communicator and I was tired of initiating everything. He had some issues and those issues also got in the way of our relationship but we generally got along and I do like him. I I was fed up with his behavior and sold through text I told him how I felt and that I was hurt and that I would not be calling him or texting him anymore. He old me money and does have items of mine but I told him he can just drop them off and put them in my mailbox. We do not share any children together but I do want him back but he is very prideful am very stubborn I am also very prideful and stubborn so I refuse to call him and he refuses to call me but I do want him back. I can stick to the no contact rule but my fear is that I will never hear from him he told me he liked me he told me God sent him to me but we have not talked. What should I do

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2017 at 7:35 pm

      Hi Anne,

      it’s ok to initiate after nc, what matters most is that you’re the one ending it at high point because that means you’re in control.

  15. Shells

    February 12, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    Hi, My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for 1 month now. He has reached out to me a few times. The last time I told him exactly how I felt and I don’t know if I screwed up. We were in a long distance relationship. He was in northern California and I was in southern California. He had a job opportunity in New York and the plan was for me to move up north for a few months then go with him to New York. The day he left he broke up with me. I had already made the move to northern California, where I am now. He called me everyday for awhile and I ignored them. He also deleted me on social media and tried to readd me, I took him off Snapchat a few days ago, because I don’t want to see what he’s doing. Now our only form of contact would be texting or calling. I saw he added his ex before me and I don’t know what to do. He called me two days ago, and I didn’t answer, I really want to talk to him, but I don’t know what to say. I am upset because I moved for him and got left behind. I don’t know if I should use nc again, or what?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 13, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Hi Shells,
      if you improved yourself, and you didn’t answer him all throughout the no contact period, then it’s time to build rapport. It doesn’t matter if he added his ex.. What matters is you continuously improve yourself even after nc, you’re more rational, you have good conversations and you’re always the one ending the conversations in high note..if you feel you need to extend to 45 days, that’s ok.. check this one:
      EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

  16. Mutiara

    December 21, 2016 at 3:38 am

    Dear Admins,
    My name is Mutiara, i am 23 years old from Indonesia.
    about a month ago, me and my bf broke up..
    he broke up with me..
    it was because my stupidity..
    i was trigger him to said the break up things, because of my lack of emotions..
    i wasn’t understand his condition and just think about mine..
    i want to getting him back.. what can i do for it?
    he was the best bf i could ever have..
    i want to changed all my negative behavior..
    i want to have a strong foundation with him.. i really love him.. i really do..
    i miss him everysingle of my day..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 24, 2016 at 6:39 am

      Hi Mutiara,

      when did you break up? are you going to do the no contact rule?

  17. Jasmine

    November 3, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    I need help me and my ex boyfriend broke up because I had to move 35 minutes away from him after my car accident we really not getting along. At the moment but he would call me one minute then put me back on the block list and I won’t here from him and about a week… so far I haven’t heard nothing from him he blocked me from his messenger but still want to see my page should unblock his number and block him on fb as well ??

    1. Sierra

      December 1, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      So I have a question should I use the 30 day NC? The only reason why I haven’t since we spoken is because we haven’t spoken for 4 months and I did implement the NC rule during those 4 months and I think not talking to me he was obviously sad. And even after 7 day NC he stop putting up a front like he didn’t want to be with me he pretended before like he didn’t want to be together and now I have him saying that he does want to be together. I haven’t spoken to him in two days I personally feel like he does this so he’s not too available for me. Because I know for a fact he doesn’t chase anyone for a friendship the fact that I tried to walk away and he chased me to stay in his life he obviously cares because men don’t do that for someone they don’t care about. The hard part is getting him to initiate conversation first. I’m more aggressive than he is so maybe that’s why lols

    2. Sierra

      November 30, 2016 at 1:03 am

      Yeah believe it or not I really read almost every article on this website and I actually read the article you written about six ways to see if you are close to getting your ex back and one of the things that you mentioned was if he can admit to things he did wrong in the relationship and the funny thing is that he said that what he did as far as blocking me was cruel. To be honest I haven’t been implementing my game plan properly so that’s probably why it was failing but I won’t contact him or initiate conversation first because he actually does the same thing with his friends I just feel like I kind of have to train him on how to be in a real relationship because prior to me he hasn’t ever been in one not making excuses

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 5, 2016 at 7:01 pm

      Hi Jasmine,

      when did you break up? even if you’re blocked that doesnt mean you’re already in no contact rule.. You have to start the count yourself and you have to focus in improving yourself..that means if he calls, you wont answer.. and itbwould be better if you dont block..if you unblock him, dont send a friend request

  18. Sierra

    November 1, 2016 at 3:23 am

    Hey Amor,
    I don’t know if you remember me at all but I spoke with you last week. I told you about the story on how my ex boyfriend and I broke up because I lied to him and he felt as if he couldn’t trust me. So not only did he break up with me but he went as far as blocking me in every way possible (phone and facebook). Well I have news for you, he finally unblocked me after four months of our break up. Now he doesn’t know that I know he has unblocked me, but I found out that he still has my old posts that I sent to him back when were dating on his facebook page (you know cutesy couple stuff). My question is what do I do next? I am not sure why he has unblocked me, but my birthday is this upcoming Friday. So should I contact him or should I wait it out to see if he contacts me? Not to sound like a spoil brat but I feel like he should contact me since he was the one who blocked me in the first place am I wrong? Thanks

    1. Sierra

      December 26, 2016 at 11:28 am

      So Amor I ran into a big problem my ex and I got into a misunderstanding. When I hinted towards the fact that he should come see me he said “We will get to plan that out eventually, but just know that you’re special to me” now I didn’t take it the right way because it can mean exactly what he said or he could be blowing me off. So I told him this is the last chance I am giving us a shot. Now ever since we’ve talked I’ve been distant in a sense of me focusing on my wants and not really chasing him but I also have stopped talking to him and told him to never speak to me again only to have a week go by and I come back lols. (I know I’m crazy) so he didn’t take me saying that very well about it being the last chance because I don’t want to continue down this endless cycle. So I kind of pressured him to tell me the truth that he didn’t want to be in a relationship right now which tbh I don’t either but I want a promise of a future together now we’ve decided to take things slow again and try to be friends for right now and not put so much pressure on the future. But I don’t want to be friend zoned and here’s the thing he checks up on me on Facebook he will look at who I’m talking to not guys per say but he will mention something about my page also we decided not to flirt so much although I know he’s really attracted to me and he said that I’ve hurt him when I leave and I now I understand why he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right is because he’s going through a tough time with his family and friends I’m in a rock and a hard place what can I do?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 29, 2016 at 3:39 am

      if you really dont want to be in a relatinship right now, just be friendly and let go of the expectation if he wants to be back or not.. If the friendship grows that’s good, if not,then move on

    3. Sierra

      December 19, 2016 at 2:02 am

      So it’s been going really well lately we’ve been building good rapport he hasn’t thrown any dates to come see me yet but has mentioned us going to North Carolina and Florida together. I just want to know what is a good amount to wait and see if he really does want to be in a relationship?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 22, 2016 at 9:39 am

      it’s just been a week right? continue building more rapport until you can transition to calls and then build more rapport and attraction first, so that it would be more natural to meet up, start with a friendly meet up first, not a romantic date

    5. Sierra

      December 15, 2016 at 1:32 pm

      Right because it was weird on Monday we messaged each other briefly and when I sent a message he didn’t reply and then Tuesday night he messages me so I tried to reach out yesterday to be honest my message wasn’t that interesting so I kind of understand but it’s still rude

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 16, 2016 at 11:41 am

      Yeah it is rude to just ignore but maybe he didn’t mean..he just wasnt that interested then maybe he was also doing something else when you texted, so it was easy to forget to text you

    7. Sierra

      December 15, 2016 at 12:22 pm

      Hey Amor,

      The problem I keep running into is the fact that when sometimes when we are messaging he doesn’t respond back. So I decided to wait a few days to talk to him this week we’ve been talking three days in a row

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2016 at 12:29 pm

      It depends.. Because you cant keep waiting a few days always. If he doesnt respond back today, try again tomorrow. If he still doesnt respond then observe for the last time if it takes days again for him to reply you have to move on because it’s not progressing
      .

    9. Sierra

      December 9, 2016 at 12:41 pm

      No I completely understand where you are coming from when you were talking about moving too fast because I think the problem for us is that we weren’t giving each other enough space to miss one another so we would get on each other’s nerves towards the end of the relationship and start fighting so I think for us space not too much but space is needed.

    10. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2016 at 5:36 pm

      That’s good. So, this time, just take it slow and enjoy

    11. Sierra

      December 9, 2016 at 2:44 am

      Yeah and that’s why I want to take it slow with him. And I can tell he’s doing the same thing. We’ve flirted a lot with each other and today I told him in a nice way that I’m not looking for a fling that I have to respect myself enough to not just have plain sex and he said he respects that. He actually contacted me today after five days of not talking I haven’t reached out to him ever since you said stop but what I’m finding is that every time that we talk he likes to have deep meaningful conversations about accomplishing goals and being motivated so I think it’s coming along I’m just not really a patient person so I go crazy sometimes with not knowing

    12. Sierra

      December 5, 2016 at 7:04 pm

      Ok I will do that. So I’m trying to figure out what type of man my ex is if you could probably help me. You see when we were dating we moved pretty fast, and what I mean by that is he immediately like feel in love with me he was the one who brought up kids, marriage and wanted to move to Massachusetts with me. And I read the article Chris written about using male psychology to get an ex back and one of the types of men he mentions is the super committed and it’s funny because in the beginning there was a couple of times where he would get upset or feel a certain way about how I wasn’t falling in love as fast as he was then it was equal later on. Does it sound like he’s the SC guy or was?

    13. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 8, 2016 at 10:16 pm

      Yeah, sometimes, aside from the type of guys.. It’s common that when somebody moves too fast at first, the honeymoon phase will end early for them as well. It’s like the candle burned faster because the fire is too strong.

    14. Sierra

      December 4, 2016 at 5:08 pm

      Ok good the next time I talk to him my plan is to make him feel old feelings the suggestion Chris gives in trying to get an ex to recommit is that a good idea or save that for later?

    15. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2016 at 11:47 am

      save it for later, if you meet in person, that’s when you try be a little bit more touchy..

    16. Sierra

      December 3, 2016 at 10:43 pm

      And another thing he keeps asking am I ok and I used the ask him a favor message because he does personal training on the side since I have tendinitis I asked him what excercises I could do and he gave me a lot of recommendations he also said he would get something together for me to do then he made me promise him I would take it easy for my recovery lols

    17. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 4, 2016 at 3:27 pm

      Ah it’s ok to reply..better if you end the conversation. And him helping you is good too because it helps you bond

    18. Sierra

      December 3, 2016 at 10:37 pm

      Ummmm…. I’m not sure but I think he meant reply back later because when I ended the conversation I said I will have to continue this conversation later I’m getting ready to go to class

    19. Sierra

      December 3, 2016 at 4:00 pm

      So Amor great news after four days my ex finally contacts me and we started talking or messaging. He said that the reason why he hasn’t been blowing my inbox up is because he knows how busy I am with school and work. I told him that him sending a message isn’t going to derail my whole schedule lols. I used a little seduction tactic he wants me to message him later but I shouldn’t right?

    20. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 3, 2016 at 5:35 pm

      He wants you to message him? Did he mean he wants you to reply or he wants you to initiate? If initiate, don’t..

    21. Sierra

      December 1, 2016 at 12:29 pm

      Crap I did it again sorry! Ok I asked if I should do the 30 day NC on my ex? The only reason why I haven’t done that since we’ve been talking is because four months went by without us talking and I did implement the NC rule during that time. Unfortunately I know him all too well and before and during our relationship I had to tell him to call me more so we can talk he’s not much of a communicator like as far as reaching out goes I’m more aggressive when it comes to reaching out to people than he is I have gone two days without talking or reaching out to him now the last time it was half of a day and he contacted me. My strategy is to get him to contact me more often by not always initiating conversation first by not being too available whenever he sends a message

    22. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 1, 2016 at 12:35 pm

      It’s alright. No worries! I don’t think you do nc this time but you need to invest more in your own activities. If you do talk or meet, make it fun. So, that you only have good impressions on him

    23. Sierra

      November 30, 2016 at 1:23 am

      Sorry wrong post above lols. But yes the reason why I even reconsidered giving it another try is because although it doesn’t sound like it I know deep down he does care and after the last conversation we had he was able to admit his wrongs in the relationship and that’s really big for him because he never would admit he was wrong during our relationship he said that blocking was cruel and he sort of opened up to me more which I feel is a good sign. I read your article (I read a lot of articles on this website will get the book soon) but the six ways to know if you’re close to getting an ex back and one of the things you said was that if he can admit his faults in the relationship that’s really big because men are very stubborn and he did happen to apologize so please don’t give up on me Amor. I haven’t been implementing the right game plan because I feel like he’s so use to me initiating conversation that he doesn’t do that even with his friends he doesn’t contact them so I really need some support

    24. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2016 at 7:28 pm

      It’s ok! I read it too.. That’s why I want you to take it slow.. So, that you’ll know if he really is serious and you won’t be committing mistakes because of rushing.

    25. Sierra

      November 29, 2016 at 10:18 pm

      What you just said really scares me because I thought I was getting somewhere now I’m back in limbo. I’ve been talking to other guys to really not put my eggs in one basket. The truth is he’s selfish maybe not all the time or majority of it so I think the best thing for me to do is to not contact him and ignore him it’s sad I feel like I have to do all of this like after 7 days of not talking he wants to admit that he never said I don’t ever want to be in a relationship with you which is true but that I want to take it slow so idk if im being played with or not but I’m not going to stress over this anymore

    26. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 10:24 pm

      yeah, don’t stress over it.. You know, if he really loves you, he’ll respect and value you. Maybe he’s being immature.. It doesn’t mean he can’t change, but that doesn’t mean he will change anytime soon too. YOu have to be strong and intuitive if he’s just stringing you along.

    27. Sierra

      November 29, 2016 at 9:45 pm

      I agree it was selfish so I mean should I just give up? Am I wasting my time? I mean I was able to get him to open up and tell me the truth from what I can tell. I’m so confused Amor part of me wants to confront him and the other part of me wants to just sit back and watch his actions.

    28. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 10:21 pm

      For me you should move on from him but seeing that you don’t want to, the best I can advice is to take it slow and be cautious.

    29. Sierra

      November 28, 2016 at 9:50 pm

      Well I do some news idk if it’s good or bad but we talked on the phone we straighten everything out he told me he was trying to see where things were going instead of jumping back into a relationship which is not what I want either and he said the best way is for us to be friends first which I’m not comfortable with just yet he said he understands. He said that he was trying to test me to see if I would love him unconditionally when he brought up another girl, I told him that it was disrespectful to do that when we were obviously being very emotional with one another the night before so he apologized. But we are taking this slow we can talk about almost anything he’s definitely grown from what I can tell he’s more motivated about his career than before. The problem is I’m not getting any support from my sister or therapist the only person who supports this is on of my friends

    30. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 6:46 pm

      That test of his selfish.. He doesn’t want love, he wants someone to chase him, idolize him.. That’s a very big red flag.. If you really still want to try, I agree on taking it slow but you have to be careful not being a chaser..

    31. Sierra

      November 27, 2016 at 4:16 pm

      Amor,
      So yesterday I messaged my ex after 7 days of NC I was following the article for exes that want to use you and that’s what it said. But I don’t want to be in a relationship with anybody right now including him so I never told you this but my ex lives in a different state and when we were dating we were planning on meeting each other but we broke up before that even happened. So when I messaged him yesterday I asked him would he like that opportunity to meet finally and he said he was confused because the last time we spoke I told him to never talk to me again. I just want to meet and not have any expectations not wanting to say I want to be his friend or anything more that’s what I told him. Was that a dumb move?

    32. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 27, 2016 at 7:04 pm

      I think you need to build rapport first, before asking to meet. So, that it wouldn’t be awkward and confusing.

    33. Sierra

      November 26, 2016 at 12:53 pm

      Another thing I’m going to visit a college in Massachusetts in March would it be a bad idea if by that time I ask him to come visit me? Not asking him now but like almost a month in advance? Or just forget about it?

    34. Sierra

      November 25, 2016 at 9:24 pm

      OMG! Amor you are so right I’m the only girl who I feel like has given him a challenge and one thing that didn’t click to me is that he’s friends with all of these girls but doesn’t really have an emotional connection with them like me so it’s just so he can have the company because I said I feel like I don’t have anyone in my corner to him and he said wouldn’t it be nice if we had each other in our lives for when you feel that way but as “FRIENDS” thanks Amor I really appreciate the feedback

    35. Sierra

      November 25, 2016 at 9:23 pm

      OMG! Amor you are so right I’m the only girl who I feel like has given him a challenge and one thing that didn’t click to me is that he’s friends with all of these girls but doesn’t really have an emotional connection with them like me so it’s just so he can have the company because I said I feel like I don’t have anyone in my corner to him and he said wouldn’t it be nice if we had each other in our lives for when you feel that way but as “FRIENDS”

    36. Sierra

      November 23, 2016 at 11:54 am

      I have an interesting question why would my ex boyfriend put me or want to put me in the friendzone? You see I think after the breakup he thought he was better than me and thought I would be on his tip and from what he was showing me or what he was trying to show me was that he’s moved on. I know that he isn’t looking to really date someone because he’s way too afraid to get into a relationship because he’s been hurt and he acts like an ass as a defense mechanism and I don’t put up with it even during the relationship so he would be sweet towards me. If you guys can write an article that gives the guide to getting an ex boyfriend back that is really guarded with his heart that would be great

    37. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 25, 2016 at 4:43 pm

      Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll forward that to Chris. Most of the time it’s for validation or company.. He doesnt want commitment but that doesnt mean he wants to be alone

    38. Sierra

      November 23, 2016 at 3:52 am

      Exactly and I didn’t give him an ultimatum but I just told him that this isn’t for me. He wants to keep me around but doesn’t want to ever commit

    39. Sierra

      November 22, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      You know Amor he’s become this social butterfly that he wasn’t when we were dating he’s talking to all these girls and it’s more than likely to feed his ego and I never did that when we were talking before dating he flirts a lot with women and i just feel like by being his friend it’s going to put me in a spot where I’m always available to him by not being his friend and cutting him off he knows how to treat me if we ever cross paths again. I mean the fact that when I tried to walk away and he frantically called me right after that has to mean something right?

    40. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 23, 2016 at 1:55 am

      Oh..I think you should stop now or at least stop for a long time because he just really wants to friendzone you

    41. Sierra

      November 21, 2016 at 5:25 pm

      Amor,
      I essentially told him that I couldn’t be his friend and he called me to make me reconsider and I told him that I’m having a very difficult week we talked it out and he was being very sensitive towards me and I did reconsider it. The next day he tells me about a girl he met online and I told him I couldn’t do this whole friendship thing he tried to get me to reconsider again but I told him I can’t do it my heart is not in the right place and he told me he couldn’t be my boyfriend right now what does that mean? He also said that if he was to get into a relationship if we were friends if his gf couldn’t except me being in his life than it would be over between them idk what that means either? He was giving me mixed signals so I had to end it did I make the right decision?

    42. Sierra

      November 19, 2016 at 12:37 am

      He also gave me his schedule the best times to call and ask for the best times to call me. I told him in the beginning I’m not trying to get into the whole FWB thing and I truly don’t see him doing that but he has major trust issues and I feel like he’s keeping me at an arms length right now and don’t know what my next move should be

    43. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 21, 2016 at 4:25 pm

      Use it to your advantage..be friendly but dont always be available. be the ungettable girl.. Have fun talking but have more fun in your own time..

    44. Sierra

      November 19, 2016 at 12:00 am

      He did happen to call me and he said that he really wants me to be his friend and I told him after we got off the phone in a message that I will have to think about it. Idk if I should give up or if be his friend but what if I get stuck in the friends zone? I knew it would take some time because he’s stubborn but I never thought he would keep throwing that friend label around as much as he did today . I told him I don’t want to be his back up and he said that he values me more than that to use me for something physical. Amor what should I do? Does this mean I don’t have a chance anymore?

    45. Sierra

      November 17, 2016 at 5:23 pm

      I ran into another problem. I sent a message to my ex saying that “I have something really interesting to tell you can we speak on the phone?” And he responded hours later asking me to send him my number. Now my ex boyfriend hates talking on the phone but I thought we were having fun messaging and thought it would be an easy transition into phone calls well it wasn’t now we aren’t speaking I haven’t been sending him any messages I’m trying to do a 7 day NC rule and if he doesn’t respond I will do two weeks. We’ve had eight conversations through messaging did I ask too soon to talk on the phone? Back when we were dating we would talk on the phone for hours so idk if he just thought that I wanted to speak on the phone to trick him into talking for hours. What should I do?

    46. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2016 at 10:58 pm

      Did you talk on the phone after you gave your number to him? Did it go well? If it did, then dont worry. If he didn’t call, what did you talk about?

    47. Sierra

      November 15, 2016 at 10:52 pm

      Thanks Amor that’s exactly what I did I played with it a bit so it wasn’t so serious I agree I should just be light. I appreciate the feedback thanks

    48. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 11:04 pm

      That’s good! Just keep it like that. You’re welcome!

    49. Sierra

      November 15, 2016 at 6:53 pm

      I told him if he wants to be intimate or touch me he will have to put in the work. We are getting to the next level of talking on the phone, when I speak to him on the phone should I mention that he needs to not flirt with me even though he doesn’t flirt with me a lot? I just don’t want him to think that he can sleep with me anytime he wants.

    50. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 10:31 pm

      Hmm.. I think it would be better if you say that in a humorous way. At least, it doesn’t sound too serious and it wont hurt him at the same time you’re conveying your standards. When he starts being flirty, play with it. When he says he wants to sleep with you, tell him, “Of course you do! But it’s a VIP pass.. do you have the pass? ;))
      If he asks what’s the pass, tell him, “Ooohh it needs a lot of (coffee) points.” I like coffee.. but it’s just another term for date. Play around with it.

    51. Sierra

      November 14, 2016 at 2:37 am

      Amor,

      The funniest thing just happened today I didn’t message him all day and he finally sent me a message. The only problem that I can think of is that he flirted with me a little bit today which I read the article about flirtrattraction. I told him that he will have to put in work was that a bad idea?

    52. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 6:13 pm

      hmmm… how did you tell him?

    53. Sierra

      November 8, 2016 at 4:18 pm

      Do I wait for him to message me? Or do I reach out to him? The thing is that when we were courting one another most of the time I was the one who initiated most of the conversations and idk if I can get him to chase me

    54. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 11, 2016 at 9:43 pm

      you were courting each other? Wait two weeks, if he doesn’t initiate, you can..

    55. Sierra

      November 7, 2016 at 12:32 am

      Yes I was acting out on emotion because he didn’t remember my birthday and I was drinking so I just was being emotional and not thinking clearly. But I guess the good news and that it seemed as if he kind of missed me and it sounded like he was probably doing the same thing like trying to convince me that he’s moved on. When he said certain things like don’t be mad at me for not remembering your birthday because he has a bad memory (brain injury) I didn’t say anything back I just kept talking about how good the food was when I went out with my friends for my birthday. Once we got out of that conversation of how things went he switched the conversation into a more lighter one. From what I’ve told you, does it seem like what I was doing was working?

    56. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 7, 2016 at 6:43 pm

      Yeah, just continue building rapport through texts first and then calls later on and then meet ups

    57. Sierra

      November 6, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      Hey so a funny thing happened when he unblocked me my old posts were now visible on his Facebook page and he liked them and a couple of days ago I just got upset and messaged him letting him know that I’m in a better stage in my life and that I don’t want to play games or get into a relationship. He said he was very proud of my accomplishments he said it three times. My question is did I make a mistake by messaging him? And what do I do next?

    58. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 7, 2016 at 12:04 am

      You messaged him in your birthday? Yes, it was a mistake. Not because it was sent in your birthday but because the message sounded like you were just trying to convince him… If you really moved on, you wouldnt say that.. if you still want to try, just continue on being active, and dont open that topic again. Be friendly and talk about other topics.

    59. Sierra

      November 5, 2016 at 5:48 pm

      So yesterday was my birthday and my ex never wished me a happy birthday so I got upset the day before my birthday he liked an old post of mine that was on his wall. So I just got upset and told him that I don’t to go down this road of us getting back together and that I’m done. So he messaged me back said that that was fine we wished each other well but he bated me into a conversation I used one of the tricks I learned on here about getting him to trust me again by reinstating that I like it when we are being honest with one another but did I make a mistake by messaging him. He says that he’s really proud of me and my accomplishments but idk what that means and I don’t know if I even want to get back together what should I do?

    60. Sierra

      November 2, 2016 at 1:10 am

      Thank you. Now what are the next steps I should take? Besides playing it cool and not messaging him lols

    61. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 3, 2016 at 1:08 pm

      you just really have to go back in your activities..like somebody who has moved on

    62. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 1, 2016 at 7:49 pm

      Hi Sierra,

      I actually agree that you shouldn’t message him first this time.. If you message him first now, it would look like you’re waiting for him to unblock you.

  19. R

    September 26, 2016 at 8:15 pm

    Hello
    My ex doesn’t like texting. He didn’t respond to my texts after no contact period. But today when I called him after 3 months he picked up the phone immediately! Well I controlled the start and ending point of the conversation but I wonder a 10 minutes long conversation would make him to call me back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 28, 2016 at 7:56 am

      Hi R,

      If he doesn’t like texting, then just stick to calls. One call wouldn’t make him want to call back.. You have to build rapport and attraction. Once he’s interested again in you, there’s a higher chance that he will initiate the calls again.

  20. E

    July 10, 2016 at 12:58 am

    Hi, my ex boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago because he felt affection for me but was not in love anymore. We live very far from each other so it was a LDR and we met about twice a year for 1-2 months each time. After the break up we decided to stay friends and kept writing about once a week and video called with Skype about once a month. We also met a few times while I was in our home town for a month and he told me he had a nice time with me but didn’t feel in love. For the last month, I’ve been doing NC and he wrote to me after approximately 30-35 days to tell me his grandmother, who I felt was like my own and he knew it, had died. I answered telling him my condolences and then we chatted shortly. I don’t have problems getting him to write back or call, I just don’t know how to get his love back, can you give me tips to connect again on an emotional level?

    1. E

      September 1, 2016 at 1:17 pm

      We now chat on messenger about 2-3x a week and skype every two weeks and he is very friendly but it just feels like we are friends now. He tells me about his failing flirting techniques and that his job stresses him because he feels incompetent for the job. So do you think he friendzoned me? When we were together we were best friends too so I’m just confused on how to get him to love me again and keeping that complicity.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 1, 2016 at 3:04 pm

      he’s going to if it’s like that.. you should read this article: EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

    3. E

      July 16, 2016 at 2:18 am

      Yes, write as in text, or on Skype. We also sometimes video call on skype. When we do, he seems more friendly and more fluent than when we text. He never says no when I ask him if he wants to Skype, but the idea never comes from him. Is this a better way to build rapport? I don’t know how often is better, I don’t want to annoy him so I usually ask him about once a month. He always used to be the one chasing me, I don’t want to chase him to much but I still want to build rapport because we both have fun when we are or talk together.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 16, 2016 at 6:01 pm

      yes, it’s time to move on more to skyping.. hmmm.. it doesn’t have to be everyday but if it is that’s good too.. the quality is more important.. try to talk about something you can continue on the next time or something he might want to ask an update about

    5. E

      July 15, 2016 at 12:56 pm

      Thanks! And should I keep writing to him about once a week? At the end of a conversation he always wished me a nice week until I did one month NC. And I am not sure if he sees my posts on Facebook anymore, he used to like them all stil a few months ago, but now he hasn’t commented anything in a while. So how often should I write to him ( when I do he writes back and we have a fluent conversation) ?

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 15, 2016 at 6:43 pm

      write as in text right? If it’s just once per week, you wouldn’t be able to build rapport with that.. with texting style, listen to this one: EBR 022- How To Text Your Ex Boyfriend

    7. E

      July 14, 2016 at 10:02 am

      Thank you! I’ve read the articles and this is exactly what I needed: I used to be an ungettable girl when I first me him and he still kept chasing me during the first 2 years when we were together and then stopped so the last year together felt like we were an old couple. The problem is when I don’t first write to him, he won’t write to me by himself and since we are long distance, I don’t know how to have him chase me again. When I was in my home town a few months ago, he texted me every time after we had seen each other to thank me for the fun day together that he had fun with me and that he enjoys being friends with me. Since I am back here, he never contacts me first excepted when his grandma died. Since he broke up with me because he didn’t feel in love with me anymore, is there a way he can chase me again?

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2016 at 8:16 pm

      Sorry, I’ll sound like a broken record.. but it’s really just aiming to be the ungettable girl again and being active in social media so he can see it

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 10, 2016 at 8:16 pm

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