Every time I write one of these epic guides I always think to myself:

“How can I make this site better? What haven’t I covered yet?”

Essentially I try to take an outsiders view and look at Ex Boyfriend Recovery’s overall weaknesses. It is through these weaknesses that I can learn more about how to improve the site as a whole for you. After all, the main point of this site is to prepare you so that you have the best chance to get your ex boyfriend back. I have been thinking a lot lately and have noticed one area where this site really lacks is when it comes to phone calls.

More specifically, how to make an ex boyfriend answer the phone and what to do once you are talking to him.

Well, today that “weakness” is about to become a “strength!”

I would like to introduce you to my ultimate guide on calling an ex boyfriend!

Or perhaps more accurately, the guide on getting HIM to call you!

What This Guide Is About

(If you want more in-depth knowledge on how to get your ex to call you and potentially get him back please check out my E-Book.)

lets get started meme

If you are an avid reader of this site then you know that I am not a huge fan of calling an ex boyfriend right off the bat. Because I hold this view it tends to complicate things. You see, a lot can go into “calling” an ex before a call is even made and this guide is going to explain that.

Of course, we live in an age where people want specifics. So, specifically here is what I am going to cover:

  • Decisions being based on emotions.
  • How those emotions tie into a phone call.
  • How emotions can be lessened with time.
  • Common reasons an ex boyfriend will not return your phone calls.
  • What will make an ex boyfriend call you.
  • The importance of swallowing your pride sometimes.
  • Proper phone call form.

Pretty interesting stuff huh?

Before I get started I do want to say one thing. Above I put together seven broad topics that I am going to cover within this guide. I know at times I can get a little bit wordy but I really want to push the importance of you reading this entire guide and not skipping a section. This stuff is that important.

Think of it like a math problem. If you skip one tiny little step you are going to get the problem wrong. The same can be said about this guide.

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Decisions Being Based On Emotions

emotions

Before I really dive in to the phone call stuff there is something I need to explain to you.

The majority of decisions made in this world are done with emotions in mind. For example, every night before I go to sleep I watch TV shows or movies on my iPad. While I certainly do it for entertainment purposes I also do it because I know that if a show or movie is written well enough it is going to make me feel good. The decision that I made to watch a TV show on my iPad is done with the end goal in mind, making me have a positive feeling.

I want you to stop for a moment and really think about how many decisions you made based on emotions today.

Here, I will give you another personal example from my life.

I am currently taking a few classes at a local college near my home. Today I made the decision to drive to school in my car. While that may seem like a fairly emotionless decision lets take a look between the lines. I made the decision to get in my car and drive to school. I made the decision to go to school so I could get a good job. Through that job I will be able to earn money. If I earn enough money I will be :).

So, the seemingly innocent decision to get in my car and drive to school can be traced all the way back to an emotion that I want to feel.

Your Mind = BLOWN ;).

All kidding aside lets apply this newfound knowledge to relationships.

Good Feelings Vs. Bad Feelings

feeling bad

Humans generally have two main feelings when it comes to emotions.

Would you like to take a wild guess at what those feelings are?

Yup, you guessed it they are good feelings and bad feelings.

While I realize a first grader could figure this out I would still like to take a moment to define what is considered a good feeling vs a bad one.

Good Feeling- A type of feeling that fills you up with joy and happiness.

Hey, that’s what I consider to be a good feeling 🙂 don’t criticize.

The thing that I find most interesting about good feelings is the fact that we all tend to gravitate towards them. While I am sure this is an inappropriate example nothing can illustrate my point better than it.

Someone who is addicted to a drug is addicted to the good feeling or the “high” that they get. Once that drug user uses that drug and gets the good feeling they don’t just stop there. The keep wanting more and more of it so they can feel that feeling again.

The whole point I am trying to make here is that no matter what we will always be drawn to things that make us feel good. This is especially true when it comes to relationships but before I go into that lets talk a little about bad feelings.

Bad Feeling- Something that fills you with heartache, hardship, disappointment, anger, etc,etc

Above I talked about how both men and women tend to gravitate to things that make them feel good. The opposite is true with bad feelings. Men and women tend to run away from things that make them feel bad. A perfect example to illustrate this point is an embarrassing example from my own life.

When I was in high school I was afraid to go into the weight room. I wasn’t exactly a “fit” guy back then since I was basically stick thin. Anyways, I had a bad experience while I was there when some of the fitter football players made fun of my appearance.

Anyways, the feeling I felt after the verbal lashing from those football players shaped my perception of the weight room in high school. Instead of doing what I should have done, facing my fears and making my weakness a strength, I was consumed by this bad feeling I got every time the words “weight room” were muttered. As a result, I ran away from that feeling by never going to the weight room again.

Do you kind of understand what I am getting at here?

Yes? No? Maybe?

Whatever I am moving on ;).

I would like to talk about how these concepts apply to your ex (or more specifically calling your ex boyfriend.)

How These Emotions Tie Into Calling An Ex Boyfriend

Picking up a phone and calling someone is a big deal now-a-days.

It wasn’t always that big of a deal once upon a time. I am just old enough to remember the dark ages of dating where you still had to “call” someone.

You see, I grew up on calling. If you wanted to go out on a date you had to call a girl up and ask her. In fact, I didn’t send my first text message until I was 18 years old. Funny story, I was actually so shocked the first time I received a text message from a girl that I thought it was a mistake (the technology was foreign to me.)

Anyways, it takes a lot now-a-days to get someone to pick up the phone and call you.

When you are dealing with an ex boyfriend the task can seem impossible but I assure you that it’s not. Of course, you do have some headwind holding you back a little bit.

Remember above when I was talking about all that “good feeling, bad feeling” stuff? Well, with an ex boyfriend it is all about having the “good” outweigh the “bad.”

Think of it like a massive pros vs cons list:

pros vs cons

As long as you can find a way to shape his perception and have more pros than cons then you have a really good shot at talking to him on the phone. Of course, the problem a lot of women face when dealing with an ex boyfriend is the fact that they won’t return their calls because of the “bad feeling” or cons they are having about the relationship.

Now, I am sure that the biggest question on your mind is HOW? How can you put more pros on the list than cons?

That all depends on your ability to understand that calling an ex right off the bat is NOT a good idea. Yes, I am actually recommending that you DON’T call an ex right after a breakup.

Here’s why.

With Time Emotions Will Stabilize

why so serious

(I am sorry, I couldn’t help but put the joker meme here!)

I am a big believer in logical thinking.

In fact, when I first started this site I used to believe that as long as you could think logically and push the right buttons you could make an ex boyfriend call you and eventually get him back.
It was only through interacting with you and seeing different situations that I realized that I was wrong.

Emotions matter!

Perhaps I should rephrase that:

“controlled” emotions matter.

You see, you need to find a perfect balance between logical thinking and emotional output if you want an ex boyfriend to call you or to pick up the phone when you call.

Most women make the mistake of calling their exes immediately after a breakup. The reason this is a major mistake is that right after a breakup there is no logical thinking. Instead, your emotions are running the show and that isn’t always a good thing.

This is why I am so adamant about the no contact rule.

Not only does it have advantages for making an ex miss you but it allows you enough time to get in the logical mindset that you need to get an ex boyfriend to call you.

Throughout this site I have talked a lot about the no contact rule. However, there is one aspect of NC that I really haven’t ever gone into, the stabilization effect.

The Stabilization Effect

stable

(Too much nerd? Ok, ill stop!)

A few sections ago I talked about a major concept that ties directly into making an ex boyfriend call you.

Remember that pro’s vs con’s list?

Well, one of the main questions you were probably wondering was how you can get rid of some of the cons. Admittedly, after a breakup your cons are going to be a lot higher than your pros on your exes list. However, the main reason for that is the fact that emotions are heightened after something emotional happens (like a breakup.) Of course, with time that emotional headwind you are facing from him is going to lessen.

I like to call this the stabilization effect.

One important aspect of creating a period of “stabilization” is that you can’t keep contacting your ex. Doing that is essentially the same thing as poking a bear, eventually the bear is going to explode but if you wait until the bear calms down he is going to be much more receptive of you.

Here is the deal though, if you can create a period of stabilization through no contact and are able to successfully “calm” your exes bad feelings towards you then you are going to be in a good position to get him to call you (or to get him to return your calls.)

I did a lot of general research for this guide and I have to say that I was not impressed with the “so called” advice that my peers were giving when it came to getting an ex boyfriend to call you. Look, I am going to make this really simple for you, the key to getting any guy to call you is to give him a reason worth calling.

Or better yet, become someone worth calling (again.)

Now, before I talk to you about what you need to do specifically to get him to call I would like to take a look at the reasons why he WON’T call you.

The Reasons Why Your Ex Boyfriend WON’T Call You (Or Return Your Calls)

(If you want more information on calling your ex boyfriend or information on how to get him back please check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO Guide.)

call me maybe memes

I had an interesting conversation with someone a few days ago. This particular woman really wanted to get her ex boyfriend back but there was just one problem, she made every mistake in the book. Of course, it wasn’t until she stumbled across Ex Boyfriend Recovery that she realized that her behavior was not ideal.

Anyways, after talking with me she was feeling pretty down about her chances and then she said something that I found fascinating.

“At least I can learn from my mistakes.”

There is this perception that I am some sort of relationship “expert.” I am going to tell you all right here and right now that I am not. In fact, I have made so many mistakes in my own personal relationships that I sometimes wonder why my (now) ex significant others stayed with me as long as they did.

Of course, I will say one thing about myself. I do have a unique quality when it comes to relationships.

I want to learn from my mistakes.

The way I view it is that as long as I can learn from my mistakes I can become a perfect boyfriend/husband to any girl I am with and to me that is like winning the game of life.

So often people are frightened to death of making a mistake.

The truth is, that you never learn from a success. You only can learn when you make a mistake. So, as you read the list of mistakes I am going to compile below I don’t want you to freak out if you have made one or all of them. Just say to yourself:

“I am going to learn from them and become a better person.”

Mistake #1- You Became A Call/Text Gnat

gnats

I remember when I was first trying to think of a word to describe how annoying it is to get text after text from someone you don’t want to hear from. I ended up settling on a text/call gnat because no matter how many times you keep swatting at a gnat it never goes away.

Seriously, I remember when I was a teenager walking with a group on a mountain trail and gnats started buzzing around everyone’s heads. Gosh that was so annoying because no matter how many times you swatted at the gnats they just kept coming back for more.

Text/Call Gnat- Someone who repeatedly calls or texts you (of course, you don’t respond to any of their calls or texts.) Unfortunately, they never get the hint and keep calling or texting.

We have already established that an ex boyfriend is likely to run away from things that will give him bad feelings. Unfortunately, the more you call or text when he doesn’t want you to the more likely it is that you are going to reinforce his decision of why you give him bad feelings.

Think of it like this.

What if during your relationship with your ex you were constantly calling him. Now, he is your boyfriend so he pretty much has to pick up every time you call (if he was a good boyfriend at least ;).) Every time he would pick up the phone you would nag him about something. That feeling of nagging can sometimes burden a man and unfortunately that burdening can lead to pain.

So, when you look at this cycle what do you see?

In this (made up) scenario your ex boyfriend now views you calling him as a con on the pros vs cons list? Why? Well, because it seems that every time you call him you leave him with a bad feeling.

So, how does this all apply to call gnats and text gnats?

Every time you become “the gnat” you are reinforcing those bad feelings or better yet, reminding him of them.

DON’T DO IT!

Mistake #2- Trying To Force Your Ex Boyfriend To Return Your Calls

blackmail

Lets switch gears here and focus on those women who are trying to call their ex boyfriends.

First off, there is a specific way that you have to call your ex boyfriend to ensure maximum success. I will go over that later. For now, I want to point out something incredibly annoying that women can sometimes do when they get desperate for an ex boyfriend to pick up their calls.

It’s funny, out of all these mistakes this is the one I think I feel I have the most insight into because in a way I live it every single day. Every day I get women contacting me trying to force me to answer them and help them with their problem. While I respond to every single person in the comments section of this site I no longer respond to emails (unless they have to do with the E-Book.) If I responded to every single person through email I would literally get nothing done. Anyways, I can kind of understand where your ex is coming from on this one.

Your ex boyfriend may find it very annoying if you were to force him to do something that he doesn’t want to do.

Often times you will see a desperate woman try the old:

“PLEASE CALL ME! It’s an emergency!!”

or the

“Call me or I am going to de-friend you on Facebook.”

Now, I bet you are wondering why I chose these examples. The truth is that I chose them specifically because they illustrate a few good points. Lets take a look at each “plea” individually.

“PLEASE CALL ME! It’s an emergency!!”

What is the first thing you notice about this statement?

Right off the bat I will tell you that I sense the person who is saying it is extremely desperate. Desperation is NOT ever attractive. However, for some reason there are a select group of women that tend to think it is.

Sticking with our “good feelings vs bad feelings” concept I would say that desperation is a per-cursor to a “bad feeling” which is why desperation is not considered attractive. You see, desperation itself usually means that the person who is desperate is not stable emotionally and people who aren’t stable emotionally tend to have some serious “bad feeling” vibes.

Also, I want you to take a look at the second part of the statement. You know, the “It’s an emergency!” part.

Any time anyone ever texts this to me I start freaking out and wracking my brain with everything that could have possibly gone wrong to cause the emergency. Interestingly, I have a different reaction when an ex girlfriend says this to me. I would most likely roll my eyes and think to myself

“oh god, what now?”

“Call me or I am going to de-friend you on Facebook.”

If someone were to ever say this to me I would flat out de-friend them on Facebook. I don’t want a friendship with someone who threatens to de-friend me when they don’t get their way. What’s that famous line that TV shows and movies always seem mutter?

We don’t negotiate with terrorists?

Well, when it comes to relationships men don’t negotiate with women who give them ultimatums. I mean, that is essentially what that statement is, an ultimatum.

Can you imagine if I took your phone from you and said:

“If you don’t do exactly what I want I want you to I am going to break your phone.”

Something tells me that you wouldn’t be too happy with me.

Funnily enough, you would probably do what I wanted so you could get your phone back but you would always hold the fact that I gave you an ultimatum against me. That is essentially what an ex boyfriend would feel if the above statement was said to him.

Don’t give your ex an ultimatum just so he will call you.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

How To Make An Ex Boyfriend Call You

(Again, I have to recommend my E-Book if you want more in-depth information on the whole “ex recovery” process.)

call me maybe

Now we are getting to the good stuff!

This is the part where I am going to give you in-depth instructions on how you can make an ex boyfriend potentially call you or pick up your calls. Before I get started I do just want to say that everything from this section on is going to be very important so make sure that you are paying attention.

I am assuming that getting an ex boyfriend to call you is just one little aspect of your overall goal which is probably to get him back. Thus, this section is written with that deeper goal in mind.

Enough talking, lets get started!

The Overall Gameplan

zombie apocolypse team

What do we know so far?

Well, we know that good feelings will always trump bad feelings, an ex boyfriend has a pro’s vs con’s list and the no contact rule is extremely good for putting you in a logical mindset.

All of these concepts are going to tie into a deeper gameplan with one goal in mind, to make your ex want you so bad that he calls you.

The first part of this gameplan starts with the no contact rule.

The No Contact Rule

If you haven’t done one already then I suggest you do it.

If you don’t know what the no contact rule is then you can read about it here.)

Why does this matter if you want an ex boyfriend to call you? Well for a couple of big reasons.

For one, it is really important for you to obtain that logical mindset that I keep talking about. Also, the act of entering into a no contact period alone can sometimes cause an ex boyfriend to call you. However, I don’t want you to get too settled on the fact that he “may” call you during NC. Doing that will not help you achieve a logical mindset. Instead, you will just be reinforcing the emotional mindset that you probably already have.

The time for emotions will come AFTER the no contact period. Lets talk a little about that now since it is where most of the “get your ex to call” strategy comes into play.

Post No Contact

After you successfully complete the no contact period you can start working to get the “con’s” off your exes list by conditioning his mind to view you with “good feelings.” Now, the question you are probably wondering is how?

How in the world are you supposed to do that?

I am not going to lie to you, it’s not going to be an easy task.

What you have to do is combine a logical and emotional mindset together.

You see, you want your “logical” mindset to keep you grounded and ahead of your ex when it comes to talking to him. However, at the same time you want an emotional mindset to bring out the good feelings that he associates with you. It is through your exes emotions that you will get him to call you or pick up your phone calls.

Please realize that I gave you a very broad overview of the actual “gameplan.”

What I would like to do now is go into the specifics of the gameplan so you have a really good idea of what to do to make your ex boyfriend call you.

How To Get Him To Call Or To Pick Up Your Calls

(Yup, I decided to bug you again about this silly E-Book!)

yoda call

I wouldn’t be shocked if your ex boyfriend associates you with bad feelings.

This is where your real work begins.

You see, you need to find a way in which you can turn his bad feelings into good feelings. Personally, I have found the best way to do this is through text messages. More specifically, consistently hooking him into conversations that reinforce your good feeling vibes.

The Emotional Connection

You know what I love about texting?

I love it when you meet someone new and you are literally on the edge of your seat anticipating their next text. In fact, there have been times where I anticipate a text message so much that I get angry when I don’t receive a message as fast as I want it to come.

There is something magical that happens when you actually build an emotional connection with the person you are texting. It’s almost like everyone starts out with a very logical brain but the more and more you build an emotional connection with someone your brain becomes more and more emotional and the most ironic part of it all is that we love it when it happens.

Love makes us do wacky things.

Don’t believe me?

If you ever get to know me really well then you would know that I am the type of person that needs to get my beauty sleep. In other words, I really loving sleeping in. When I was 18 years old my girlfriend at the time caused a change in my sleeping pattern.

You see, at that time I was a senior in high school and I really wanted to see my girlfriend more than once a weekend. So, we worked out a way to see eachother almost every day. I would wake up at 5:30 in the morning and drive to school early. Around 6:00 we would meet and have 2 uninterrupted hours to just talk (and do other things ;).)

6 years later I look back and think how in the heck did I wake up that early?

Seriously, if you were to walk into my room tomorrow at 5:30 in the morning and poured cold water on me I would still be sleeping. The main difference is that currently I don’t have an emotional connection with anyone but I imagine if I did I would get up at 5:30 in the morning to see that person all over again.

Can you imagine developing that type of connection with your ex boyfriend?

THAT is how you make him call you and you are going to do it through the least threatening way possible, through texting.

Text Messages That You Absolutely Need To Use

(For more information on text message (and more text messages) I implore you 😉 to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

texting

It’s weird right?

A guide that is supposed to be about phone calls and we are going to spend a huge chunk talking about texting. Well, here is the way I look at things.

When you get on the phone with you ex (and I say when because I have complete confidence that YOU are going to make this happen.) I don’t want the phone call to end in an argument, be awkward or cause bad feelings. Instead, I want the phone call to be like old times, to help rebuild the emotional connection that you both used to cherish.

Well, the way to accomplish that is to use text messages to prime your call.

In other words, you are going to get your ex used to associating you with good feelings before you talk on the phone so that when you do things will go extremely well.

Below I have compiled a lot of text messages that you should use to get your ex to associate you to good feelings.

IMPORTANT (Guidelines For Texting)

All of the text messages you see below should NOT be used in one conversation.

If there is one thing I have learned about the women visiting my site throughout this past year it is that they want results fast. This is the type of thing that you can’t rush. Rebuilding an emotional connection can take time. So, here is how I want you to approach things:

Step 1: Use The First Texting Example

Step 2: Study Your Exes Response To That Text

Step 3: If The Response Is Positive You Can Use The Next Text

Unfortunately, there are a few important points I still need to cover.

If your ex does respond positively to the first texting example that will give you the ability to use another texting example on this page. If this is the situation you find yourself in DO NOT use the texting example in the same conversation you used the first example. Instead, you can use it in the next conversation you have.

Now, if your ex does NOT respond positively to the first texting example then you need to take a step back and realize that he isn’t ready to build an emotional connection yet. That is completely ok it just means that you need to go back into no contact period for a while and give him more time.

It is also important to note that you have to be careful when you use the text messages. It is easy to get carried away and fall back into an emotional mindset. While there are times that are good for that you do need to keep your wits about you. Your goal with every interaction you have with your ex boyfriend is to leave him wanting more.

That means YOU have to have the willpower to cut the conversation off right when it is starting to get good.

I hate to say this but it is a game and you have to be smart about how you play it.

Lets take a look at our text messages.

The Celebrity Comparison Text

Who doesn’t love a good compliment?

Any time any girl compares me to a good looking celebrity it makes me feel pretty good. However, it also makes me sit up and take a look at the girl doing the comparison. The reason I like this text message so much is that it gets your ex used to comparing you to a good feeling.

How?

Well, if you compare him to a good looking celebrity it is going to make him feel good.

That will make him associate that good feeling with you since YOU were the one that gave it to him.

However, there is a bit of a problem with this text message. You see, generally you don’t want to inflate his ego this early. So, I am going to recommend that you use this text message as a way to open the conversation. It seems less awkward this way. Check it out below:

celebrity comparison

Another important thing that I would like to mention is that you shouldn’t continue the conversation too much longer after you send this initial text.

Why?

Because your ex is likely going to fish for more compliments and you want to leave him wanting more. Lets move on to our next text message.

The Video Text Message

I am betting that you read the words “video” and automatically assumed I meant go on YouTube and find some sweet video to text to your ex.

No.

There is a time for that in a conversation but this is not it.

Instead, I was thinking that you should do something a little more…. personal.

One of my favorite things to do when I text is to send out videos to my friends. I love doing it to see how they react to it. However, would you like to know what I love even more than sending out videos?

Yup, you guessed it, receiving them!

I love receiving messages from a girl that I am interested in and I am going to guess that your ex is the same way. So, I want you to send him a video of yourself. Don’t do anything goofy. Remember, you are trying to establish a connection with him not creep him out.

Below I have compiled a list of the very best video messages I have received throughout my life:

  • One of the sweetest messages I ever received was literally a second long. The girl simply blew a kiss to me :).
  • Another great message I received was a girl walking down a hotel hall just talking about what she did all day.
  • One of the best video messages I received was a girl masterfully flirting by commenting on something I said.
  • I had another girl play the guitar for me over video. Now THAT was well done!

The “Remember When” Message

Do you remember when you read that get your ex boyfriend to call you guide on your phone or computer?

Oh wait, THAT’S RIGHT NOW!

This text message is all about making your ex boyfriend remember a good time the two of you had together. Remember, we want to reinforce that you = good feeling.

The key to this text message is to choose a good time that the two of you had together. However, if you know of a time where your ex was the only one that had a good time you can use that as well (just pretend like you had a good time too.)

(Side Note: Do not use the time you had sex for this. That’s a little too much too soon.)

I have found that the more details you give the better the feeling your ex will get. Also, don’t be afraid to try to get him involved when you are recounting the memory. For example, you can pretend like you forgot something about the memory and are asking him to recount it for you. Doing this will give him a mental visual of the memory and hopefully bring up those good feelings from within.

Here is how I would do it if I was in your shoes:

 remember when text

The “How I Feel” Message

This is your first true test. You are about to take a chance.

I want this text message to be all about how you feel. Yes, for the first time during this entire process you are going to talk about your feelings!

Time to get emotional, OH YA!

Ok, ok, I will stop being goofy and get straight down to business.

The key to making this text message work is to not get too emtional. Don’t get me wrong. I do want you to tap into your emotions but I want you to be really conservative on how you display them.

The point of this text message is really to study how your ex reacts to it. Essentially, you are going to say something semi sweet, as I will demonstrate in the graphic below, but what you are really looking for here is to see if he says something sweet or semi sweet back.

If he does then you are in business.

I recommend going with a text message like this:

how I feel message

Lets move on and talk about the two types of phone calls you really want to receive or make!

The Two Types Of Phone Calls

phone calls

I would like to now turn our attention to the real reason this guide was created, phone calls.

In my experience, there are two types of phone calls that we are going to be shooting for.

  1. Out Of The Blue Phone Calls
  2. Leading Phone Calls

The thing that I want you to remember is that these two calls are NOT created equally. Getting one of them is much more valuable than getting the other one. However, for the purposes of this guide I am going to cover each of them.

But really at the end of the day the main goal here is to get on the phone with your ex boyfriend so you can work on getting him back. So, just getting either one of these phone calls can be deemed a success!

Anyways, I would like to start with the “out of the blue” phone calls!

Out Of The Blue Phone Calls

blue

Have you ever gotten a phone call out of the blue?

More specifically, have you ever gotten a phone call out of the blue from a guy you had feelings for? It’s pretty great isn’t it?

That is essentially what an out of the blue call is.

Out Of The Blue Phone Call- When an ex boyfriend calls you up out of the blue based on the “good feeling” vibes that he has towards you.

This creates a pretty interesting question.

What if an ex boyfriend calls you during the no contact period? Would it still count as an “out of the blue” call?

Well, that’s a complicated question because if he calls you during the no contact period from a place of anger I wouldn’t consider it a true out of the blue call.

Take a look at the texting section above. It is through those text messages that you can tap into your ex boyfriends emotions and cause him to replace his bad feelings towards you with good ones. If you are able to do that successfully and cause him to want to call you then you are probably well on your way to receiving a phone call from him that is “out of the blue.”

In my opinion, this is the most powerful type of phone call there is.

Why?

For one, he had to physically pick up his phone and call you. But you also have to take into account the fact that most guys don’t call girls unless they like them in some shape or form.

Lets take a look at the second type of phone call, the leading phone call.

Leading Phone Call

mordor

Essentially, this is the exact opposite as a phone call from out of the blue.

Of course, if this type of phone call is done correctly it can be a very powerful way to get your ex boyfriend on the phone. It’s important for you to realize that with this type of phone call we are flipping the script. Instead of looking for a way to make HIM call you, you are going to take the reins and call him!

Leading Phone Call- A type of phone call where you lead him or warn him that you are going to call. However, the key to making it work is making the “warning” very intriguing. So intriguing that he has no choice but to accept a phone call from you.

The leading phone call is a term I coined because you kind of have to “lead” your ex into the call. The only way it works is if you have turned his bad feelings into good feelings. Now, I am not saying that you have to be perfect. All I am saying is that you have to do a good job with the text messages in the section above for this to work.

So, how does it work?

Well, I want to tell you a story.

When I was 21 years old I ended up going on a date with a girl based purely on looks. I am not going to lie, she was a very good looking girl. However, during our date I slowly began to realize that her personality was horrible. It’s not that she was a mean spirited girl or anything like that. It was the simple fact that she was boring. Everything she did bored me. Everything she said bored me. I remember zoning out multiple times throughout this date.

Of course, there was another problem. I couldn’t get rid of her on the date. There were so many times where I wanted to text my friend to send me a “fake emergency call” so I could slip out but I took my car on the date and picked HER up. Add in the fact that I don’t like drama or confrontation and you have me sitting through one of the most boring dates of my life.

Perhaps the funniest part about this whole story was what happened AFTER my date. So, I have one really close male friend who knows my deepest darkest secrets. I was talking to him after the date and explaining how boring this girl was.

He said, “show me her picture.”

I remember I pulled up Facebook showed him her picture and got the following response…

“give me her number right now.”

Three days later my best bud is dating her 🙂

So, what in the world does this amusing story have to do with the leading phone call?

Nothing… absolutely nothing at all.

Well, ok I lied there is something to it.

I want you to tell a story. Except the story has to be long enough and interesting enough to be told over the phone. What I want you to do is prime the story through text messages. So, lets use the story I told above as an example.

The first thing I would do is send an ex this text message:

leading phone call

I want you to notice how well I primed the phone call. I made my messages intriguing and kind of led my ex on a little bit before I dropped the big “can I call you?” question.

Why do you want to ask permission to call your ex boyfriend?

Think of it like a test.

If he gives you permission to do so then you are definitely IN! However, if he makes up some excuse for why he can’t talk you then you need to hit the reset button and try again at a later date.

Proper Call Form

(Man, you are a hard sell :(. One last time here is where you can find my E-Book.)

rabbitt talk phone

Up until this point we have been talking strictly about how to get an ex to call you (or to pick up your calls) but one thing I haven’t gone into is what you are supposed to do once you get them on the phone. Well, that changes right now!

This is going to be the final section of the guide and arguably the most important one so make sure that you are paying attention.

I have thought a lot about how to structure this category and I decided to start with two general ideas.

Talking On The Phone Is About Two Things

I have talked on the phone with a lot of people in my life so this is really something that I consider myself to be an expert on. When I am interested in a girl there are two important things I do to keep them coming back for more. In fact, the women who have succeeded the most with their exes employ these things too.

  1. Control
  2. Hooking Your Ex Into The Conversation

Lets start first with control

Control

What do I mean when I say control?

Simple, I want you to control the conversation as much as you can. That means that you are going to dictate where the conversation goes and how long it will last.

Of course, in order to control someone you have to really get them hooked into your conversation first.

Hooking Your Ex Boyfriend Into The Conversation

Have you ever spent a day watching celebrities being interviewed on a talk show?

I know I have.

I have never met any of these celebrities in real life and yet somehow I am fascinated by them. Why is that? Well, my favorite celebrities are masters at telling stories in person. One celebrity that comes to mind is Hugh Jackman. Seriously, if you have never seen this guy interviewed before stop what you are doing and go watch him. Not only does he light up the room when he talks but the stories he tells are fantastic.

Now, imagine if you could tell your ex a story like that? Imagine if you could hook him into the conversation with a story.

I touched on this subject a little bit in the “leading phone call” section.

Of course, you don’t have to tell a Hugh Jackmanesque story to hook your ex into the conversation. You don’t even need to be perfect. You just need to leave him with a good afterthought!

The Afterthought Effect

You know what I have found to be the TRUE way to get someone to fall for you.

Let me give you a hint. It has nothing to do with being with the person “in the moment.” No, the real way to get someone to fall for you is to hijack their brain and leave an imprint (inception style.) So, imagine this. What if you and I were to talk on the phone and you did an amazing job of hooking me into a conversation. When we were to get off the phone I found that I can’t get you out of my mind. When I close my eyes I am thinking of you. When I wake up in the morning I am still thinking about you. Every time I check my phone for a text message from my best friend I am still thinking of you.

THAT is the afterthought effect!

The Afterthought Effect- The emotional feeling your ex boyfriend is feeling towards you after he hangs up the phone from your phone call.

Of course, the AE (afterthought effect) is not always positive. Lets say that you and I used to date. We recently just talked on the phone for the first time in a long time but instead of me being left with positive thoughts of you I was left with negative ones after we hung up.

This would be considered to be a negative AE and something that you need to avoid at all costs.

The afterthought you create will all depend on how well your call with your ex goes.

Oh, and a little friendly advice.

Always leave him wanting more!

Which is what I am about to do to you ;).

390 thoughts on “This Will Make Him Call You Or Answer The Phone”

  1. Avatar

    Mickey

    February 22, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I and my boyfriend has not talked for almost 5 weeks today. It all started when I came back from the US for company training. 1st Saturday went I got back, we are supposed to see each other but since I feel so tired and felt that he said that I should take a lot more rest and told me to meet him next Saturday. That next Saturday came and I forgot about my sister in law birthday so I told him I’m not sure if I can meet him that Saturday. In about noon time I told him I cannot him since the birthday will be celebrated in the hotel for an overnight stay. We exchange several messages after that but around 7PM he never replied to my messages. I even asked if he is annoyed with me, still no reply. Sunday morning, I sent him tons of text messages but still got no reply from him until 8PM. That is the time I said I will give him space as he always goes silent if there is something he did not like. I gave him 2 weeks without me around even text and call was not there. After two weeks, I messaged him daily never replied. It usually takes him 3 days after my first come back text for him to reply but he has been ignoring me for 5 weeks but never got a reply from him. Valentine’s day past and his birthday came but no reply from any of those messages. I even asked him that I wanted to see and to celebrate his birthday with him but I simply got nothing. In my text, I told him, Im, really sorry for my shortcomings and acknowledge all of them and I told him that I wish he forgives me that will be back to our normal ways. I have checked his social media and saw that he uploaded a personal photo of himself which is the 1st time in his life as he never puts one of himself as he hates his own pictures. I’m not sure what’s going on with him and his thoughts with that uploading of the photo. Then saw a girl putting hearts on his photo. I even saw him replying to comments at before and after I sent him text messages. I started to do the NC again since I never got a reply from all my messages even my message on his birthday were I sent 3 in total and invitation to see him.

    Chris, I want to know if my boyfriend has decided to end things between us without telling me just by simply ignoring me? I just wanna point your comments on this so I will start moving on already.

    Hope you can provide answers to my questions.

  2. Avatar

    Jenny

    February 20, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I’ve really been enjoying the content on this website. I love having a game plan going forward.

    My question is… my ex does not have a smartphone so I wouldn’t be able to send voice messages or photos via text. Can I use email instead?

    Thanks so much!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 21, 2019 at 3:24 am

      Hi Jenny!

      Thanks for the kind words and I hope you are soaking it all up! When it’s time to communicate, email is fine.

  3. Avatar

    Honey Asgari

    February 15, 2019 at 8:20 am

    Hello there
    I had the worst heartbreak of my life with this man who I I’m deeply in love over a stupid texting that happened the night before our fifth date. We were supposed to meet on the next day, but I noticed He hadn’t fixed time and date yet. So at around 8 pm I asked him if he could talk and he video called me while he was at gym. I didn’t mention about the reason u wanted to actually talk to him, because I felt he was acting cold. Anyways, we hanged up and I texted him some lines saying I felt there wasn’t consistency on his side and telling him why I wanted to talk to him in the first place, to fix time and place… long story short, he faded away from me from that night, which was a week ago and just yesterday blocked me on whatsapp. I am so devastated I can’t function my daily routines like before. He totally dumped me while we were both in such romance. During last week I couldn’t resist NC because there was no actual breakup conversation exchanged at that time so I texted him every two or three days. We exchanged some limited emoji kisses and stuff and I thought it was going the right direction. I bent backward for this man because of the love that I have for him which is soooooooooo in a different level. Our connection our romance was so unique and he shut down on me he has been so unfair to me just because of those lines. He only talked to me once during last week. Told me he would go to his business trip come back and give me a call, which he never did and then I had to text and text and text. Last night I finally decided to do NC because I was blocked on his whatsapp phone!!!!! Duh! I removed him from my Instagram and now there is no social media connection between us anymore. Yesterday morning he sent me happy valentine’s day message and I replied that I loved him not just yesterday but every second of everyday and then at lunch time when I tried to reach him I realised I was blocked. I’m in physical and mental devastation. Willing to pay for your therapy. I need help. Please help me. I live in London. Please get back to me ASAP.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 16, 2019 at 12:50 am

      Hi Honey!

      So no contact could be the right medicine here, but you really would benefit from having a complete ex recovery plan going forward. Visit my website’s home page as I have several tools and resources. We also offer coaching as may be needed.

  4. Avatar

    Natasha

    December 24, 2018 at 12:55 pm

    Hi Chris,
    It’s been 2 years now since my ex and I broke up. The problem is we’re at the same Uni and have lottts of mutual friends which is quite irritating and even in holidays I keep seeing him. We didn’t leave each other bcuz of a fight, he got scared somehow of the commitment maybe although he told me that I’m his first love. I didn’t believe that earlier but now I sorta do. One day I invited all my guy friends to my house and so I told him just not to be blamed later on and he came, it actually happened twice and he came! A year ago his friends told me that he wants me back and he misses me but he didn’t say it himself and then I faced him and he said that yes he wants to get back but he’s afraid “of what i don’t know”. Then I let everything go but this month he’s trying to reach out once again and he seems regretful. He called me and we talked for half an hour and it was aaall good and joyful at the end he asked me when would that happen again I said I don’t know we’ll see. It’s been 3 days now and he didn’t say anything.
    I really want him to keep trying and to get back but I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do? How should I react and make him call me again? PLEASE HELP ME

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 24, 2018 at 10:23 pm

      Hi Natasha! So if you are following my Program (pick up my book!) you would follow your No Contact Period, with a period of slowly rebuilding communications by text, then phone, eventually leading up to your first casual meetup. So my advice is tap into my resources here at the site so you are better prepared going forward.

  5. Avatar

    michelle

    November 28, 2018 at 3:44 am

    Hi Chris, i already got phone calls with my ex but i ruined it i got angry and start fighting a bit but in the end of the phone i apologize to him and end the conversation good terms. Is it okay to call him again or just not contacting him for a few days ? is it ruining my relationship with him ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 29, 2018 at 3:45 am

      Hi Michelle….ooops. Well, we all can get angry in a flash when the breakup emotions have not come into balance. Give it a few days.

  6. Avatar

    R

    November 3, 2018 at 7:38 am

    hello chris, and EBR team
    so me and my ex broke up two months a go, i did a successful NC and we reconnected again after a while, we had fights maybe once or twice but after that everything was going great expect he didnt want a relationship, he said we can be friends, i told him i refuse that situation but we’re not gonna talk about it now until his life gets better, he was so gentle and kept reminding me of good memories and we talked a little about things after we get marriage but he never really said we got back together, a week a go he saw my sister’s male friend’s comment on he photo and he was talking to me and it was some sort of a compliment, he got mad and we fought, we had a really big fight, i told him that i’m done playing mind gamed and if he really loves me and he’s jealous we have to make a serious step, i told him i can’t tell people stop talking nice to me cause u get mad when u’re not even my boyfriend, he also talked to my mom before the break up so my mother texted him after this fight telling him that if u want her u have to make a decision.. we didn’t talk after that, i’m doing a NC now all over again, what do u think i should do too and what would be my next step.. i can’t find any topic here that matches my copmlicated situation..
    we have been in a long term relationship and this wasn’t our first break up but am really tired of trying..

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 4, 2018 at 1:05 am

      Hi R.

      Good for you! NC can be very effective but be sure to roll it out in the way I teach it. Its a two front effort…your recovery and the recovery of the relationship. Do you have my eBook as it is a great Companion Guide?

  7. Avatar

    Kelly

    October 17, 2018 at 11:07 am

    Hi!
    Rrading these are very insightful. My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me today. The reason for our breakup is that we have the same arguement about his inability to emotionally open up to me and verbalize how he feels. Within one hour of breaking up he removed me from Facebook and set my messages to ignore. Will he realize hes made a mistake and want to talk to me if I implement NC? Please help.

    Thank you so much!
    Kelly

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 18, 2018 at 11:30 pm

      Hi Kelly!

      Yes, sometimes that is how it works out. A guy can act out rashly….impulsively doing or saying something stupid. Many guys will block, then later unblock as they can stand no knowing what is going on with you. Whether its good or bad, our souls kinda cross thru each other and so its hard to let go. That is the spiritual explanation. There is a more technical brain chemistry explanation too!

  8. Avatar

    Nelma Tavares

    January 2, 2018 at 7:56 am

    My boyfriend and I were in a relationship for 2 years. He broke up with me over the phone 4 months ago. I did the NC a couple of times during this period for 3 to 4 weeks. We haven t talked to each other since then. He texted me 3 times this month. To wish me a safe travels back to Europe for the holiday period, for Xmas eve and NYE. The 3 texts always started by “I just wanted to tell you…”. I systematically kept it short and sweet but am Kind of bored now by this kind of interaction and don’t know how to rekindle with him…

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 6:30 pm

  9. Avatar

    Ebony

    September 21, 2017 at 11:27 am

    Hey my fiance of just over a year left me about a week and a half ago, I was distraught. .. I still am! We were in a long distance relationship so obviously he left me over a message on instagram. He told me he was leaving me for my own good, as we both have really bad mental health problems, so he said he needed to be on his own and that I needed to get help… he always used to say he would never leave me, and he was always going to be there for me. Now it feels like he’s a completely different person, he’s unfriendly me on Facebook (but kept our photos up and it says he’s still engaged), he’s blocked me on instagram. I am doing the no contact rule, it just feels so horrid. You would never think he would be this type of person. At all. Just after we broke up he said he still loves me and he wouldnt be the guy to just dump me and never speak to me again, but he hasn’t messaged me at all… I’m a wreck, from what I’ve calculated the No contact rule ends a day after his birthday in October … I don’t know what to do. Despite everything I love him so much, I know I shouted at him a lot and I know sometimes I treated him like cap but I didn’t realise how bad it was until now. You know when people say you don’t realive what you have until it’s gone? Yeah that’s me right now. I didn’t appreciate him as much as I should have.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 26, 2017 at 7:34 pm

      Hi Ebony,

      Extend your nc a week more

  10. Avatar

    Jessie

    August 2, 2017 at 4:34 am

    I loved reading this article, but unfortunately I am at a crossroad where I have no idea what to do. My ex boyfriend’s best friend is texting me and he told me that my ex still loves me but is afraid to leave his current girlfriend for me; (in the past I cheated on him). I think he’s afraid to go back to me and afraid to waste his time or be rejected again, (which I will not do). My question is: How or what can I do or say to my ex boyfriend to convince him that this time really am being truthful? (Also the last time we talked he said he wants to see my actions, he doesn’t believe me words anymore , after I’ve lied too many times saying that I was a changed person).

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 3, 2017 at 6:13 pm

      If you can work and have somebody else look over your child while you work, that would be better.. You need to know and cultivate your self worth.

      You cheated on him before but right now you’re chasing him. You’re accepting that you’re the one who has to prove something even though he’s telling you he wants to be with you while he’s in a relationship.

      Hanging out with other guys especially his friend is like proving to him he’s right about you..

      Staying friends with him now is lowering your self worth too because first, you’re putting yourself in the friendzone. Second, it’s starting to look like you’ve been making up for a mistake that was a long time ago and both of you should have moved on from it since he’s in a relationship now too.

      You’re showing him you’re just there, always waiting for his forgiveness..

      The better approach is to talk to him about what happened calmly. Tell him you’re sorry about what happened before but you’ve forgiven yourself and that’s not you now and it’s up to him whether he forgives you or not but you’re moving on from that for your self respect and for your child.

      If he wants to get back with you, he has to do the right thing first, break up with his current gf. If he says it’s just because he doesn’t trust you, tell him, that’s for him to work out for himself because that was a mistake years ago. Thank him for eveything and tell him you hope that he understands and respect the space you need for yourself.

      And then do at least 30 days of nc.. Don’t tell him you’re doing nc. Don’t tell him you’re going to contact him after 30 days. If he asks if you will contact him again, tell him as of now you don’t know yet. If he asks if you’re still friends, tell him as of now that’s not workable.

      Improve yourself. Have a new routine for yourself and your child. Have your own life. Prepare your life in a way that if you don’t get him back, it will hurt but it’s his loss, not yours. You have a lot in store for yourself and in your child’s future.

  11. Avatar

    Jenn

    July 6, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    Hi Chris-
    Quick question on my scenario…wont go into the long backstory but….Ex and I have been apart for a year now. We have texted only a few times over this last year. The last time was 4 months ago when I wished him a happy birthday. Last week I sent him a text asking if he would be ok with having a chat and catching up. He did not reply to the text, however, 5 days later he called me! I missed the call and he left a really nice message saying that he would definitely be up for getting coffee or a bite to eat and for me to give him a call when I had a chance. I called him the next day, well he did not answer and I left him a nice upbeat message. Saying it was nice of him to call and to give me a call back when he had a chance. Well now its been a week and nothing. Thinking the best action from me is to just wait. Wanted to know your thoughts?
    Thanks a bunch!!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      why not try the no contact way? Be active in improving yourself and don’t contact nor replying for at least 30 days and be active in posting too and then initiate contact and continue the activities and posting while slowly building rapport?

  12. Avatar

    sesilia

    July 5, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    Hi,
    I’ve been following your advice to do no contact rule. when I’m done I planned to talk to him at night but he did it before me. before he contacted me. I had a talk with friend that ask me how I’m doing because my frend know we broke up. At first I said I’m ok but during we talked my friend know that I had a difficult time. I’m doing my best to get out from depression and improve myself. I know later that this friend of mind actually talked to my ex boyfriend. asked if he still mad at me and what his next plan. my friend also mention to him that he is very important in my life that’s why It was very difficult on me(he didn’t mention in details). my ex boyfriend didn’t know and his expression was shocked (acording to my friend). he thought he is not important person. then he started to like my Instagram and contacted after 3 days. but he contact me straight with asking when he can give me back my shoes. and wanted to ask about school stuff. It’s always asking stuff and my help. sometimes he will complained when I try to cheer him he didn’t say anything or reply very short. since he reply very short I didn’t reply him back. then he contact me again and ask again if I can help him fix his bracelet. After we talk I explained to him that I can try help him but not sure because It’s really not easy. and he send me cry emoticon. now I really don’t know how to handle this. can u please help me?
    Thank you

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      Hi Sesilia,

      how many days have you done nc when he contacted you and were you active in improving yourself and in posting?

  13. Avatar

    Sami

    July 5, 2017 at 9:13 pm

    Hey,
    My ex and I have been separated for almost 8 months now. We were in a 4 year relationship and broke up for a few different reasons I successfully completed NC not too long after the break up and then started texting and/or calling fairly regularly but it never really progressed so I stopped putting in so much effort. Now either of us will randomly tag in memes or he will call which I think would be considered and “out of the blue” call and chat for at least 30mins. The calls are usually 2-3 weeks apart and generally around the same time of the week. I always feel good after our chats and then progressively start to decline for a few weeks and then that’s usually when he calls again. I’m wondering if he’s topping up his good feelings and if I should just ignore them until something more substantial happens? I’d rather ignore then continue to be roped into a cycle. Last conversation he said he had collected me some merchandise from an event he runs annually and he knows how much I love free merch! I told him just to let me know when he’s free and I’ll come collect it or whatever was easiest – we haven’t seen each other since the break. I hadn’t heard from him at all so I just gave up on it and decided to let it go. I want to let go because I want to move on but there’s part of me hanging on and I just want to understand what’s going on.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 7:30 pm

      it looks like you’re friendzoned.

  14. Avatar

    Avy

    July 4, 2017 at 9:59 am

    Hello there, I really appreciate your work! It’s been helping me a lot.
    So, I have been thinking about my ex quite a lot lately… We dated for almost 5 months until he dumped me because of our long distance relationship. He said he was tired of the long travels to see me and I was a little immature at the time, I confess. So we broke up in the ends of October. And after no contact, he send me a messenger in December, on the Christmas day, wishing me nice holidays. We started then talking about random stuff and he kept telling me news about him. How he was working closer to me now. We started saying how he missed me in some ways and that made me angry. How he didn’t appreciate me before. And I asked him, if that’s so, why did you break up? And he said it wasn’t because he didn’t liked me, it had to be because he was tired of my immature ways and travels. In the begins of this year, I started not to answer to my ex because he would send me random snaps or funny images. He didn’t send me something about him or a specific message about us, so I felt annoyed by his behaviour. I was just starting to care again and he didn’t show real interest in me. Until June, he would message me and I would be cold. So we were on and on. Talking and not talking. He always initiated the contact. By June, he was saying how he missed our intimate time and how he had been with other girls but it was not the same because it lacked the emotional bond we had and we could see each other and maybe try something out again. I told him I was with someone, not boyfriend, but seeing if it worked out, so I wouldn’t be with me like that. And even if I was single, I wouldn’t be just a one night stand girl. He wished me luck. But kept insisting on being with me. One day he said he wanted to be with me to talk and I agreed. We both needed closure if we wanted to be friends. I asked him “if you were interested in me all this time, why didn’t you invite for a coffee for example”. And he said “because you were saying you needed space and giving me the cold shoulder”. He was always touching me and putting my arms around him. And I kinda kicked him out of my house. When he arrived home, he messaged me. And we have been talking every that for weeks. Last Friday, after me and the guy I was seeing broke up (wish my ex doesn’t know for sure just assumes it), we were together and he kept trying to have sex. I said no and we just kissed and made out. After he left, we talked again but he seemed kinda angry becuase we didn’t have sex and I told him that it didn’t happen becuase that is special for me and it would get emotional and I didn’t want to fall again. After that he would send me very short messages and I stopped answering last night. So the conversation ended like this:
    – (me) “Do you remember when we went to that mountain trip?”
    (Where we had so much fun, for I’m to remember our good moments).
    – “(Him) Yes, of course girl”
    – “(Me) we ended up not going to the lake there that you wanted to visit”
    – (him) “yeah, we didn’t”

    Since he seemed kinda bored, I stopped answering. Now I don’t know if I should try or just let this go. Because maybe he just wants sex and since I’m not giving it he seems bored and I’m scared to fall in love again

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2017 at 4:58 pm

      Hi Avy,

      Actually it’s so obvious that he just wants sex..

  15. Avatar

    Lilly

    June 25, 2017 at 2:29 am

    I tried the emotional text example and I can’t tell if it was a good result….

    Me: can I just say something

    Him: for sure

    Me: I’m so glad you and I are talking like this. It’s been really nice and I enjoy you as a person

    Him: I totally agree haha, it’s been nice

    Seemed like he was just being polite?
    We are talking seminregularly as friends but I don’t know how to break the barrier and make him want me to be his girlfriend again…

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2017 at 5:43 am

      Talk about interesting stuff for him.. That’s kind of a positive response from him but it’s like he just agreed with you

  16. Avatar

    Elsshse

    June 20, 2017 at 5:06 am

    Hi. My boyfriend for 6 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago.
    At first he asked for space and time because according to him he got tired of dealing with me being clingy he got tired of loving me.
    It all started when he had a major problem with his family related to business. He got so busy that he almost didnt want to make time for me. I completely understand that and i have a big respect for his family. But it was my emotions that caused the break up.
    I became too moody, clingy but after a while i ALWAYS apologize for my bad behavior and i always tell him that im.still adjusting to this big change because their major problems right now reallly affected his lifestyle and our relationship.
    And going back, yes i did give him time and space NC for almost 5 days but during those five days NC , my friends contacted him asking he how he was, he told them he’s super lost he misses his self he’s tired of me tired of everything. My friends told me that and
    That made me contact him again, iasked him if that was true and he said yes. And he doesnt want to continue what we have anymore. He said he doesnt love me anymore and that I deserve someone better. After that message i initiated a talk personally because i didnt want to break up through “chat”. But he didnt want it. After that he didnt talk to me anymore he even deleted our pictures on his instagram
    And im still here after 2 weeks wondering if he would still change his mind if we still have a chance of getting back together. Idont know i feel.like was left hanging. What should i do now

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 23, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Restart nc.. do at least 30 days, be active in improving yourself during and after nc while slowly building rapport and be active in posting

  17. Avatar

    Anna

    May 2, 2017 at 4:24 am

    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 2 months ago and we’ve been together for a year. I went into no contact right after the break up. Recently we’ve been texting frequently and it’s been really positive; however I called him and he didn’t answer or return the call. What should I do now?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 2, 2017 at 7:00 pm

      wait 3-5 days before initiating a text again

  18. Avatar

    Anne

    March 4, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    My boyfriend and I were together for about six months. I broke it off with him eight days ago because he was not a good communicator and I was tired of initiating everything. He had some issues and those issues also got in the way of our relationship but we generally got along and I do like him. I I was fed up with his behavior and sold through text I told him how I felt and that I was hurt and that I would not be calling him or texting him anymore. He old me money and does have items of mine but I told him he can just drop them off and put them in my mailbox. We do not share any children together but I do want him back but he is very prideful am very stubborn I am also very prideful and stubborn so I refuse to call him and he refuses to call me but I do want him back. I can stick to the no contact rule but my fear is that I will never hear from him he told me he liked me he told me God sent him to me but we have not talked. What should I do

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2017 at 7:35 pm

      Hi Anne,

      it’s ok to initiate after nc, what matters most is that you’re the one ending it at high point because that means you’re in control.

  19. Avatar

    Shells

    February 12, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    Hi, My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for 1 month now. He has reached out to me a few times. The last time I told him exactly how I felt and I don’t know if I screwed up. We were in a long distance relationship. He was in northern California and I was in southern California. He had a job opportunity in New York and the plan was for me to move up north for a few months then go with him to New York. The day he left he broke up with me. I had already made the move to northern California, where I am now. He called me everyday for awhile and I ignored them. He also deleted me on social media and tried to readd me, I took him off Snapchat a few days ago, because I don’t want to see what he’s doing. Now our only form of contact would be texting or calling. I saw he added his ex before me and I don’t know what to do. He called me two days ago, and I didn’t answer, I really want to talk to him, but I don’t know what to say. I am upset because I moved for him and got left behind. I don’t know if I should use nc again, or what?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 13, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Hi Shells,
      if you improved yourself, and you didn’t answer him all throughout the no contact period, then it’s time to build rapport. It doesn’t matter if he added his ex.. What matters is you continuously improve yourself even after nc, you’re more rational, you have good conversations and you’re always the one ending the conversations in high note..if you feel you need to extend to 45 days, that’s ok.. check this one:
      EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

  20. Avatar

    Mutiara

    December 21, 2016 at 3:38 am

    Dear Admins,
    My name is Mutiara, i am 23 years old from Indonesia.
    about a month ago, me and my bf broke up..
    he broke up with me..
    it was because my stupidity..
    i was trigger him to said the break up things, because of my lack of emotions..
    i wasn’t understand his condition and just think about mine..
    i want to getting him back.. what can i do for it?
    he was the best bf i could ever have..
    i want to changed all my negative behavior..
    i want to have a strong foundation with him.. i really love him.. i really do..
    i miss him everysingle of my day..

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 24, 2016 at 6:39 am

      Hi Mutiara,

      when did you break up? are you going to do the no contact rule?

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