I’ve written a lot about the no contact rule on this site.

  • I wrote about what it is here.
  • I wrote about what men are thinking about during it here.
  • Heck, I have even written a book about how it fits in, in the entire “ex back” process here.

Unfortunately, one thing that I have never done is write about what men are thinking AFTER the no contact rule.

A few days ago one of my coaching clients contacted me with an interesting request.

She basically told me that most of the women who implement the no contact rule end up contacting their exes first after the no contact rule is over. For example, lets say that you were to use the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend for 30 days.

Well, at the end of that 30 days you would end up contacting your ex boyfriend to start the “get your ex back” process. Well, this woman was curious as to what was going on in the mind of a man AFTER the no contact rule had already be implemented.

In other words, what would your ex boyfriend be thinking after you had successfully performed the no contact rule on him?

Well, that is what this page is going to explore.

We Are Going To Make An Assumption

As you know, Ex Boyfriend Recovery and the no contact rule have become very closely associated with one another.

That is because getting your ex boyfriend back can sometimes rely pretty heavily on the no contact rule.

So, as I explained above, this page is going to focus on what is going on in your exes mind after you implement the no contact rule. Well, this is where I need to make one thing clear. In order for this page to make sense we are going to have to make an assumption.

The Assumption- That you have successfully completed a 30 day no contact rule on your ex boyfriend.

Would you like to know why it is important that we make this assumption?

Imagine for a moment that you had attempted the 30 day no contact rule and failed at it.

Lets say you only lasted something like a week.

Well, a one week no contact rule isn’t going to have the same affect that a four week no contact rule will have.

In other words, what a man will think after a failed no contact rule will be different than what he is going to be thinking during a successful one and since we are all positive thinkers here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery we are going to just focus on the successful no contact rule.

Now, I know a lot of you reading this page probably haven’t even finished your no contact yet and that is ok. Really what I want this page to be for you is a “what to expect” type page when you do successfully get through your no contact rule.

The Five Things Men Will Think AFTER No Contact

I am a man so you know for a fact that I can bring you some very valuable insight when it comes to what men are thinking before, during and after no contact. Now, I will be the first to admit that no woman has ever done a 30 day no contact rule on me but I have been on the receiving end of a half day, day and three day no contact rule and let me tell you that it drove me absolutely crazy.

In this section I am going to be talking about some of the thoughts that your ex boyfriend might potentially have after the no contact rule assuming that you completed a 30 day rule on him.

But just a reminder, if you want the most comprehensive resource out there on the No Contact Principle, then go pick up a copy of my popular eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”.

I have pinpointed the top five things that he will be thinking and as always I will be covering each of these things in a very in-depth manner.

Oh, you probably want to know the things that your ex would be thinking don’t you?

  1. What A Bi&*h
  2. Why Didn’t She Respond To Me
  3. She Must Be Disinterested In Me
  4. Was She Playing Games?
  5. Extreme Guilt

Lets take a moment to look at all of these thoughts.

I Want My Ex Back
Do You Have A Chance?

1 – What A Bi&*h

When I wrote Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO a few years ago and I told people that using a no contact rule on an ex might make an ex think negative thoughts about them they always seem to get upset and think the strategy doesn’t work.

I actually don’t even blame them for getting upset either.

After all, the no contact rule is supposed to help reunite a happy couple. Not make one member think the other is a total bit*h.

But lets take a step back and really take a look at what is going on in your exes head and probably the best way to do that is to give you a real life example.

When I was in college I was friends with this guy who was literally head over heels for this girl. Well, he ended up taking this girl on one date and he thought that the date went pretty well. I remember as clear as yesterday him saying that he thinks that this girl was “the one.”

Yes, after just one date he said this to me.

Unfortunately for him, “the one” didn’t really think the same thing he did as she didn’t think the date went well at all. So, she decided to get rid of him the only way she knew how without hurting his feelings, ignoring him.

The more she ignored him the angrier he got and the angrier he got, the more he called her a bit*h.

Here is the funniest part though, despite calling her all those names behind her back he was very persistent in trying to win her and eventually he did.

The point I am trying to make here is that if anyone is angry at you ignoring them it is because they want to talk to you.

So, the fact that your ex could be calling you names because of the fact that you are ignoring him just really means he wants to be heard by you and hasn’t been given that chance yet.

2 – Why Didn’t She Respond To Me?

Your ex boyfriend is probably going to wonder why you didn’t respond to him after the no contact rule has been completed.

I told you above that the no contact rule has been used on me in certain cases but never for an extended period of time like 30 days. What I can tell you though about my experience on being on the receiving end of the no contact rule is that when I felt ignored I found myself wondering,

“Why the heck isn’t she responding to me?”

You begin to wonder things like,

“Is she doing this on purpose?”


“Maybe she is just away from her phone and can’t respond?”

Of course, it’s a total mindfu** for men when a woman does respond to them after a certain amount of time. You will find us sitting there being like,

“Why the heck didn’t you respond to me in the first place?”

In fact, some men will grow so annoyed at being ignored that they will be very direct with you and ask you something like this through a text message,

ignoring me text message

* (Text message above was an example taken out of my book, The Texting Bible.)

If you end up getting a response like this from your ex boyfriend after the no contact rule has been completed then I would be extremely happy.


By your ex saying that it means that he was extremely annoyed about the fact that you wouldn’t respond to him.

What does that tell you?


Look, I have been ignored before by a woman and let me tell you that it is extremely annoying to want nothing more to be heard when instead you are ignored. It makes you feel a little insignificant as a man and the more insignificant a man feels the more he will feel like he has to prove.

3 – She Must Be Disinterested In Me

Some men will go to extremes after the no contact rule is over.

In fact, this is something that so many of my coaching clients ask me about that I decided to make a video about it to further explain the concepts I am about to unfold for you below,

They will hate being ignored by you so much that they will tell themselves,

“Oh, it’s time to move on because she wants nothing to do with me.”

This is what most of the women on this site who employ the no contact rule are so afraid of. They are scared that if they use the no contact rule on their ex that he will think that they want nothing to do with him and I am not going to lie to you, some men will think that.

However, that doesn’t mean that he won’t come back. In fact, it might even be a good thing because as I have pointed out so many times men love women who are a challenge.

Why do they love a challenge?

Because they are more competitive by nature and they need to feel like they have to “win you over.”

Women who are easy aren’t as high of value to a man.

Think of it like this.

Lets take two sports cars and compare them.

What are the sports cars?

  1. A Mustang
  2. A Lamborghini

Every year millions of Mustangs are made for consumers whereas only a certain amount of Lamborghinis are made.

What do you think people go more crazy over?

The Mustangs or the Lamborghinis?

The lambo’s of course!


Because they are rarer and of higher value.

Don’t believe me?

The most expensive Mustang ever sold at an auction was a 1.3 million dollar 1967 Shelby Mustang. That mustang had decades to increase in value.

Well, last year alone Lamborghini made 3 cars (only 3) that sold for 3.9 million each.

Oh, and they were fresh out of the shop and didn’t have decades to rise in value.

Bottom line is that sometimes it isn’t a bad thing if your ex boyfriend thinks you are over him because it may mean that you have just evolved from a Mustang to a Lamborghini!

4 – Was She Playing Games?

Lets turn our attention to the type of man who has a brain and realizes that you are probably playing some sort of game by not contacting him.

Now, I will admit that for you this is probably the worst type of ex boyfriend to have because he probably knows exactly what is going on. He probably knows that you are ignoring him on purpose so that he will miss you and ultimately want you to come back.

Lets assume that you and I dated and we broke up with each other. Well, after the break up you employ the no contact rule on me. There is just one problem, this is me we are talking about here and I run a website where I teach women how to get their exes back so I pretty much know every trick in the book.

Speaking of books, you really need to check out my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book“.  It’s epic in length and cover just about every question or situation that might crop up during this whole process.

In other words, I know exactly what you are trying to do with the no contact rule.

I guess the question I am throwing out here is,

Will the no contact rule work on someone who knows it is happening to them?

Well, yes and no.

Allow me to expand on that.

We are going to stick with our example here for a moment and say that you and I dated in the past.

Well, if our relationship was absolutely horrible and riddled with fights, disagreements, jealousy, trust issues and drama 24/7 there is a pretty good chance that my feelings are going to be lost.

Well, in this case, if I knew the no contact rule was being employed on me it probably wouldn’t be effective since I probably don’t want to get myself back in a situation like that.

However, what about if our past relationship was great?

Would the no contact rule work then if I knew it was going on?

Yes, it absolutely would because I would hate to be ignored and it would increase your value.

5 – Extreme Guilt

Time has an amazing affect on men. You see, when something very emotional happens (like a break up) we tend to think very angry thoughts. In fact, I think a case could be made that everyone who goes through a break up will think angry thoughts.

Eventually though, when time takes hold of the situation, men begin to mellow out and gain some perspective on the situation.

They begin to think of all the little things they did wrong in a relationship and start to feel some extreme guilt.

Allow me to give you an example.

Lets say that you and your ex boyfriend constantly fought over his flirty nature.

You see, during your relationship he was always flirting with other girls and saying things like,

“Your cute!”


“We should go out some time.”

Now, to your knowledge he never cheated on you or anything that extreme but the way he would communicate with other women was very alarming to you and when you brought it up to him he became very defensive which of course started a fight.

In fact, this problem became so prevalent in your relationship that you two literally broke up over it.

It always kind of bugged you that he didn’t think he did anything wrong with the way he was talking to other women (he clearly did.) Well, after the break up it may take some time for it to kick in but eventually he will face the truth of the situation, that he was in the wrong.

The “If That Happened To Me” Factor

One of the most interesting ways that men can sometimes realize how bad they were in a relationship is something I like to call the “If That Happened To Me” factor.

What is it?

Ok, imagine for a moment that we are dating and I do the same thing to you as I described above, I flirt with other women in a very alarming manner.

Perhaps at the time, for some bizarre reason, I thought it was ok to flirt the way I did.

Now, lets say after the breakup you complete the no contact rule on me which of course is going to give me a lot of time to think.

What am I going to think during this time?

Well, I am going to probably run an interesting comparison in my head.

“What if what I did to her happened to me?”

“What if she had flirting with other men the way I flirted with other girls?”

Ok, stepping out of the fake example for a moment. I can tell you right now that I would be very upset if I found my significant other was flirting with other men in this type of alarming manner.


Because if someone is willing to flirt that heavy then that means the chances are higher that they might cheat in the future.

So, by using the no contact rule on an ex boyfriend who was clearly in the wrong in your relationship with him will give him time to think and with that time can come guilt over what he has done or how he has wronged you.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that this guilt isn’t entirely exclusive just to the breakup reason. In fact, you may learn in the future after the no contact rule that your ex was feeling guilty over some fight that you thought was insignificant. Of course, in order for your ex to feel this guilt you have to give him time in the form of the no contact rule.

I Want My Ex Back
Do You Have A Chance?

The Five Different Reactions Men Can Have AFTER No Contact


As of this moment this website has had over 38,000 women comment on it.

20,000 clients….

As of this moment we have over 20,000 men and women purchase a product from us.

That means that close to 60,000 women have read about the no contact rule and a very high percentage of those women have actually tried it out on their ex boyfriends. Well, one of the most beautiful things about this website is the fact that I actually get to interact with thousands of women and hear how their attempt to get their ex back goes.

What does that mean?

Well, it means that I have seen the no contact rule used a lot on ex boyfriends and have seen just about every reaction from them in the book.

In this section I would like to talk about the five most popular reactions from an ex boyfriend after the no contact rule is implemented.

Here is a rundown of the five most popular reactions after no contact,

  1. Being Super Happy To Hear From You
  2. Being Happy But Very Careful In His Responses
  3. Responding Very Angrily
  4. Responding Neutrally
  5. Not Responding At All

Lets take a look at these reactions right now.

1 – Being Super Happy To Hear From You

I wanted to start off with this reaction because this is without a doubt one of the most common reactions that you are going to get from your ex after you use the no contact rule.

Just ask a few of our success stories.

In fact, I know myself really well.

Better than anyone actually 😉 .

Want me to let you in on a secret on how I would react if someone I cared about a lot used the no contact rule on me?

During it’s use on me I would probably be extremely upset and angry with the person who used it on me. However, after about a week or two I would start to calm down and think about the situation. Eventually as the days and weeks go by I would just be hoping for any kind of reaction or response from the person using NC.

So, eventually when that “reach out” or “response” comes I would be over the moon.

In fact, I would be so over the moon that I wouldn’t care that this person essentially ignored me for a month. I would just be happy to hear from them.

It’s funny, so many women on this site are scared to death that their ex is going to resent them for doing the no contact rule and the truth is that he will but it won’t be permanent.

Everyone hates being ignored when they want nothing more than to be heard and that is essentially what the no contact rule does.

It forces you to ignore your ex when he wants nothing more than to be heard.

He is going to resent that a little bit at first but eventually he is going to miss you so much it is going to trump that resenting emotion.

It’s exactly how I work so you know for a fact that it’s going to work on just about any other man out there.

Lets move on to the next reaction.

2 – Being Happy But Careful In His Responses

Lets say that you and I previously dated and you broke up with me due to some stupid reason.

After some self reflection by you, you realize that you made a big mistake in breaking up with me.

(I mean, lets face it I am pretty awesome!)

You become desperate to get me back so you end up going to the internet to search for advice. Your internet search eventually lands you on this site and you learn about the no contact rule which you swiftly place into effect. Now, the no contact has a pretty decent effect on me because it makes me miss you and I want nothing more than to have a conversation with you.

However, that is not the only thing going on in my mind.

Yes, I miss you but I am also aware by ignoring me during the no contact rule you are playing a game and this sets off an alarm in my head.

What is the alarm?

“I need to be careful around her.”

In other words, when the time finally does come for us to communicate after the no contact rule I am going to be half in and half out when I respond to you.

In my mind I am going to need something from you to prove that you still are interested in me because after all, you were the one who broke up with me and you were the one ignoring me during no contact.

Now, if you follow the advice I have laid out in this site you will give your ex that special something he needs to understand that you are still interested in him.

What is the main takeaway from this section?

It’s that if you find your ex responding positively after the no contact rule but you can also feel this distance in his responses then it is probably because he is looking for something more from you before he takes the risk of opening up to you.

3 – Responding Very Angrily

This is a response that most of my one on one clients are terrified of yet it rarely happens.

And in the unfortunate situation where it does happen after the no contact rule it’s actually pretty easy to understand.

Your ex, who probably wants to talk to you, is ignored for 30 days and grows angry because he doesn’t get what he wants, to talk to you.

I almost look at men who are super angry after the no contact rule like toddlers who go to the store and throw a tantrum because their mommy or daddy won’t buy them the toy they wanted.

A lot can go through the mind of a man during the no contact rule.

In this particular instance it is important for you to understand that the underlying reason that your ex is angry with you after no contact is because he wanted to talk to you during the freeze out period and his ego can’t take being ignored. Now, most women freak out when they get an angry response from an ex and they think their chances of winning him back are over completely.

This is the wrong way to view the situation.

Ok, lets put on our logic caps for a moment.

Lets say that after the no contact rule you reach out to your ex boyfriend and he responds with this,

angry response

Now, you have been waiting a long time for this moment so most likely you are going to be extremely disappointed with that response but if you really break it down it’s not that bad of a response at all.

It is clear that your ex boyfriend is upset with you, yes.

However, notice how he is upset with you because you ignored him during no contact. That means that all he really wanted during that time was to talk to you. So, if after no contact he is still upset for the same reason that means that the intent to talk to you is still there.

In other words, the more angry he gets the more he really cares.

4 – Responding Neutrally

I suppose in order for us to to fully understand this section we first need to understand what a “neutral response” is.

My E-Book, The No Contact Rule Book teaches women that after the no contact rule they should actually reach out to their exes with a text message that is so interesting that is impossible for him not to respond. How he responds to that message is going to dictate how positively, negatively or neutrally he views you.

Well, if your ex boyfriend responds with a neutral response it would look something like this,

mickey text
This would be considered a neutral response.

Now, the question in play here is what could possibly be going on in your exes mind if he gives you this type of response?

Generally speaking, if after no contact, your ex gives you this response it means he is either holding some type of resentment or anger over either the breakup or the no contact rule. Now, is that a good thing or a bad thing for you?

Well, I personally think it depends.

Some men are very passive aggressive and will hold their anger in over the breakup and it can come out in the form of neutral responses.

The key for dealing with these types of men is patience.

Here is how I would deal with this situation if I was in your shoes and it happened to me.

Rather than freaking out over a neutral response I would wait a day or two and then try again with another text. If the ex responds more positively then you know for a fact that you can advance things. However, if you try reaching out 3-5 times to your ex and he responds either negatively or neutrally each of those times it is at this point you know that his anger, resentment or disappointment runs deep and he may need more time to deal with the situation.

5 – Not Responding At All

Ok, for women who are using the no contact rule this is really the worst case scenario.

You use the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend and then after NC, according to the instructions via Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO you send a text message and your ex doesn’t respond. You have a pretty good head on your shoulders so you don’t freak out. You wait a week, send another text message and he doesn’t respond.

Ok, now you are are starting to get a little worried.

Of course, the world hasn’t ended yet as you wait yet another week and then try again.

Still no response…

What the heck is going on?

Well, if your ex refuses to talk to you after the no contact rule I think there are a few things that you have to take a look at.

Generally speaking an ex can get upset over the no contact rule being used on him and think to himself,

“Fine, I don’t need her. I am not going to talk to her at all.”

Of course, when push comes to shove and you finally do end up texting your ex after the no contact rule he usually won’t be able to resist a response.

So, while it is possible that he could hold so much resentment for you ignoring him that he won’t even respond to you at all it is unlikely.

What is the more likely truth is that your ex holds resentment over the breakup or the reason you broke up.

You hurt him or angered him so deep that he doesn’t want to talk to you again.

For example, lets say you cheated on him with his best friend (totally not true but bear with me here.) If that happened to me, my significant other cheated on me with my best friend I would be so upset I would not be able to even talk to my significant other.

If your breakup reason hit him so hard emotionally it is entirely possible that he wont want to talk to you at all.

So, I guess the question you are wondering is how can you get him to talk to you?

Well, only The No Contact Rule Book can answer that 😉 .

1,305 thoughts on “The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule”

  1. Avatar


    February 12, 2019 at 4:06 am

    Hi Chris,
    I’ve got one good NC going on right now. My boyfriend of 1.5 years dumped me because he is a man child….a real peter pan. The only adult thing he ever did was leave me and admit he was not mature enough to be with me. I’m not sure I want him back. However, it’s only a matter of time he will text me. He and his whole family want to string me along with, youre the right girl but he just needs a little time. Dont give up on him! Do you have any advice for dealing with NC on a man child? Does it help them grow up? Or should I just walk on by?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 13, 2019 at 12:56 am

      A “Man Child”……a “Peter Pan”….I like that! Unfortunately, far too many guys fit that description. I do think NC has a maturing element to it. Worth the effort, but make NC about “you” and your ongoing growth.

  2. Avatar


    January 23, 2019 at 1:13 am

    Hi Chris,

    I am currently doing no contact, 23 days thru. But my friend has her child’s christening on my 30th day of the no contact, and my ex is going to be there. (Very convenient, Ik) That doesn’t really give me a chance to text after no contact rule because I am going to see him all day. We broke up on good terms and we parted as good friends so there shouldn’t be any conflict. I just don’t know what to do! Do I hold off on the texting till I see him that day or what should I do??


    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 24, 2019 at 12:01 am

      Great job Isabel with getting to day 23 and I hope you have been spending a lot of those days thinking about “you” your healing and personal growth as that is the most important part of NC. Yes, I think it would be practical to hold off on texting him until you see how things unfold at the Christening. I hope you are using my 485 page Guide “EBR PRO”

  3. Avatar


    January 18, 2019 at 2:12 am

    Just buy the mans ebook. Thats what this is all about…lol

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 18, 2019 at 3:57 pm

      Hi there….it is about much more. And by the way, feel free to explore the tons of free content, help videos, and podcasts on my site!

  4. Avatar


    January 15, 2019 at 5:09 pm

    I caught my ex cheating with a Live Photo he sent me! He didn’t know it was live and I could hear her. I confronted him and told him that it’s over and never contacted him. It’s been 3 weeks and I haven’t heard a word from him ever since I confronted him. Why is that? We are in a long distance relationship and I had a ticket to go see him but I cancelled my trip and didn’t even tell him that! He was begging me to go marry him four days before I caught him and during that 4 days he changed his mind and said he’s not the same guy he used to be and I should only stay with him for 3 days and not more! That’s when I knew something was up. I stopped contacting him right after confronting him. Why he hasn’t even said one word and try to explain? Does it mean he’s in love with this girl. From the sound of the picture I realized this is possibly an ex he went back to when I was not talking to him.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 15, 2019 at 11:07 pm

      Hi Ava! He may be thinking you are still very upset with him so has been shying away. Its way too early to know what is really going on with this other girl. Best to have a plan which starts with your own recovery and then concluding your NC period and following up with him as I discuss in my Program

  5. Avatar


    December 5, 2018 at 3:39 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I’m almost finished with no contact on my sorta ex, only 3 days left til it’s 30 days. So far he hasn’t texted me but he has liked 2 of my Facebook statuses on thanksgiving and then unfriended me on Facebook 12 days later after he liked my fb statuses… does this mean the no contact is working? Once 30 days is finished, what do I say to him when I reach out to him?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 6, 2018 at 3:06 am

      Hi Anastasia!

      There will be twists and turns. Just keep following my Program as described in my eBook Pro!

  6. Avatar


    December 4, 2018 at 2:30 pm

    Me and my ex of 2 years and 2 months broke up a week and a half ago and I have been no contact since. I was bored last night and updated my dating profile (where I met him before). Turns out he was on there 2 and messaged me twice. Just being silly on one message he said “Nice picture that you took in my house lol” I did not respond but I am very confused. We broke up because he wouldnt put enough effort but I just didnt expect for him to be in the dating app so soon, it hurts. I did not reply to his messages on the dating app but I am very confused now.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 5, 2018 at 12:28 am

      Hi Vivian!

      It is a selfish and immature act on his part…..perhaps he is playing games or playing the jealousy card. He obviously is keeping tabs on you. Have you considered my Program? Employing No Contact?

  7. Avatar


    November 27, 2018 at 3:07 am

    I blocked my ex on Facebook for me to move on. After a month, I tried adding him again. When we broke up he wished that we can still be friends. Why he doesn’t accept my request or doesn’t respond to my text messages?

  8. Avatar

    Rea G

    November 26, 2018 at 2:38 pm

    If he has new girlfriend, I don’t know if it’s rebound but it was to soon after out relationship end. Do we still have hope?

  9. Avatar

    Rea G

    November 26, 2018 at 4:33 am

    My ex and I ended our more than 3years relationship. He moved to other city for work temporarily. Communication is very hard. I broke up with him and started liking our common friend. Nothing happened. We remain good friends. But my ex is furious. He wanted to get back together but I’m not ready. After a few months of talking, my feelings for him came back rushing. He was ok at that time. Then I went there to visit him, I found out that he is courting a young girl. Very young. Then, he was hot and cold. He wants to get back then not then get back then not. I did the no contact rule for 30days. He hasn’t contacted me during NCR. What should I do?

  10. Avatar


    November 24, 2018 at 3:23 am

    A month ago ex bf broke up with me because I was being clingy. On Thanksgiving day he texted : Including today, I always thank God fom bringing you as one of my chapters in life. It’s been a blessing.

    Is he saying I am his past now? I am confused

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 25, 2018 at 1:54 am

      I don’t think so. Sounds like he is having some wistful moments of appreciation. You want him to have more of those!

  11. Avatar


    November 16, 2018 at 6:33 pm

    What should I do about this one …

    After our breakup my ex treated me with lots of anger for several months. He blocked and unblocked me several times. At one point he decided he missed me, started hitting on me, we met up and had a coffee, I made the mistake of bringing up our past issues before we had really reconnected and then he went back to avoiding me and sending angry messages and partially blocked me.

    I finally did 30 days no contact after all this and he didn’t contact me during this time at all.

    I have just finished. My first attempt to talk to him was ignored.
    My second attempt was about the fact that we are supposed to meet in a few days so he can return my stuff. He answered this, gave one word answers about the time and date, said he only wants to meet for five minutes, then went back to ignoring.

    I’m really scared that this cold response and one word answers mean it’s pretty much finished. I liked it better when he was angry because at least he showed emotion.
    I’m meant to see him in 3 days and all I can think about is how scared I am that this will be the last time I ever see him. I wasn’t expecting such aloofness after 30 days of not speaking.

    Is there hope for me? Apart from trying to appear calm and cheerful during the meeting what can I do?

  12. Avatar


    November 9, 2018 at 9:49 pm

    I am on day 1 of NC with my ex. We dated for 5 months and after the breakup we remained friends but I realized that I still love him and want to make it work. Our relationship was tough towards the end due to miscommunication. I was abused in my past relationships and I kept bringing my past with me. He has told me that he still loves me but is afraid the same things will continue and things will go sour again. He still drops little hints to me about wanting me but also said he’s been talking to someone. His roommate told me she thinks it’s just a rebound.
    I was only going to do one week of NC but should I do more?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 10, 2018 at 2:00 am

      Hi Jenn!

      I usually recommend at least 21 days, though briefer periods might work in some situations. Pick up my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” for a deeper dive!

  13. Avatar


    November 2, 2018 at 4:59 am

    Yesterday was the 37th day of my NC for my ex and yesterday I sent him a text message like a memory text but it’s now 24hrs and I haven’t yet receive any response from him 🙁

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 2, 2018 at 10:54 pm

      Hi Maeko!

      Give it some time. If no response, try another text in 4-5 days. Not every effort will work on the first or even second or third try. Just know that you are doing the best job you can to get things ignited. You can’t control every outcome.

  14. Avatar

    Savannah Morgan

    October 26, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    Finished a 60 day no contact… a few emails (he designed my website ). But today I reached out verbally to discuss my site because I had questions that needed to be answered verbally. He was really excited to hear from me and just as he was about 2 mins into what has been going on with him lately, i told him i had another call to take and ended the convo. He must understand that devotion and time I had for him is over. It must be earned again. However, it was nice to hear the excitement at the sound of my voice.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 27, 2018 at 2:21 am

      Hi Savannah!

      Good job with the NC. Just keep thinking little steps.

  15. Avatar

    Jordan Mulkey

    October 25, 2018 at 1:01 am

    I’m on the receiving end of the NC.
    Of course, I don’t know if shes just trying to get over me permanently or if she wants me back and its weighing on me.
    I want to give her space but we lived together and after the fight, I drove across country 16hrs to spend time with a sick Grandparent.
    I still need to go home soon and either work things out (I have been spending a lot of time thinking of how I need to improve, how the things I said to her were BS, that she has done nothing but make me happy, and that I am the one responsible for the things I blamed about in the first place) or relinquish my belongings and try and move on. Is it ok for me to go home?
    A tricky situation I am aware, but my job and my whole life are there + my only other option would be to move 16hrs away for work!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 25, 2018 at 4:05 am

      Hi Jordan!

      Sometimes the ex will do NC on you! I agree, everybody needs some space to let the negative emotions get shed away.

  16. Avatar


    October 24, 2018 at 1:39 am

    I’m so close to finishing NC (5 days of 30 left!) but I feel like I didn’t love myself enough during it, that I’m not healed and positive and ready etc! We did not date very long before the break up, so I’m worried about extending NC (will it do more harm than good?!). What should I do?!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 24, 2018 at 3:21 am

      Great job Penny. You are making progress and even if you are not there yet on the healing side, you will be. Perhaps you might want to reach out to him, giving him a heads up that you have been taking some quiet time for yourself to work on “you” and take stock of things and you just wanted him to know why you have been off the radar and you feel you have more work to do. Think of it as a transition first contact text.

  17. Avatar


    October 7, 2018 at 7:43 am

    Hi In My 5 yr relationship we had some issues due to My bad childhood and certain patterns etc (control freakness, some jealosy and insecurities on My behalf which did lead to arguments) – I am thinking it would be better to start off with an apology/clean slate letter/e-mail instead of a cute memory text? (I am now in therapy and want to tell him that now I have finally taken action, are working on My issues, and now have realized that it is MY responsibility to make me happy and whole again etc – but Also offer a deepfelt apology to him about what I have put him through)
    Our no contact started off with me telling him that I was doing nc because I needed time to figure out how I could better myself and work on My issues. His respons was two messages saying how incredibly sad that made him, but he could see it from my point of view. I did not respond and are now at day 16 of nc.
    When he broke it off with me he said that he Didn’t want to lose me entirely and that he wants me in his life. And that he has feelings for me, and would always care about me.
    I just feel that I have to do the clean slate before Anything Else. What do you think?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 7, 2018 at 10:17 pm

      Hi MST!

      The way I see it, all of us exhibit some of the behaviors you described! We can all get controlling about things. Jealousy and insecurity can rear its head in all of our lives, leading to anxiety and conflict.

      I think what you propose makes sense for your situation. It will likely be helpful for him to see that you have taken positive and constructive steps to address some personal development issues given they were apparently a part of the breakup.

      So yes, a clean slate is what NC is about. Whether he is going to be an integral part of your life or not, what is most important is “you” and your relationship with yourself. If you can be a better “you”, then it expands the paths you may choose to take and fulfillment is far more easier to attain.

  18. Avatar


    August 14, 2018 at 6:29 am

    He dumped me for his ex. I began no contact 37 days ago. We work together and I’m cordial and respectful. I limit my interactions with him and stay out of sight as much as I can. I don’t bother him. Initially, he was cordial and spoke. Now he is acting bitter and doesn’t even speak. He won’t look at me and a few times he’s avoided me. I got what he wanted….his ex. I didn’t beg or plead, I just walked away. Why is he mad?

  19. Avatar


    August 14, 2018 at 1:57 am

    He dumped me for his ex. I began no contact 37 days ago. We work together and I’m cordial and respectful. I limit my interactions with him and stay out of sight as much as I can. I don’t bother him. Initially, he was cordial and spoke. Now he is acting bitter and doesn’t even speak. He won’t look at me and a few times he’s avoided me. I got what he wanted….his ex. I didn’t beg or plead, I just walked away. Why is he mad?

  20. Avatar


    May 5, 2018 at 1:04 pm

    Hi there!
    It’s about two weeks that i have finishied my NC and the day aftr i finished NC he texted me and asked me if i can help him or not
    And as i was angry with him i didnt repond
    And he sended the same messages on my 3vety social media i read them and again i didnt repond:|
    Ans he texted other message saying you promised me to help me that time
    And i yhought it is enogh i send him a texted back and kinda challengful message if was
    How ever i hwlped him
    Then he ask me to do an other favor for him in month or so
    We talked about the party i was invated
    And sending him some pics and videos of the party
    To show him im happy
    And dont need him
    And now im just confused what should i do?!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:30 pm

      If you are still having upset feelings towards him…then consider telling him and that you need some time to yourself to work through your own feelings and heal from some of the difficulties you have experienced.

    2. Avatar


      May 6, 2018 at 8:19 am

      Im just afriad
      Everyone around me says never let him come back to your life again he left you
      And he will do that again
      But sometimes i fee he didnt ever love me
      He just wanted to use me for advantage
      But he was talking so nice to me recently
      Idont know what to do!

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 6, 2018 at 2:56 pm

      Go it slow

1 2 3 27

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.