It is one of the worst feelings in the world when everything in your relationship goes through a complete turnaround. One moment it’s fine, the next he is pushing you away. At first you try to convince yourself that it is temporary, something you could get past.

You tell yourself that you just need to do more, that he will see what a good girlfriend you are and then he will love you more. No matter what you do, he keeps pushing you away. Now that the relationship has ended, you are left wondering what the heck happened with several unresolved questions:

  • Where did I go wrong?

  • Was he going through something I’m not aware of?

  • Did his feelings just go away?

  • Is there something I could have done?

  • Why the heck do guys push girls away?

Most of all, you’re left wondering what you can do to get him back after he pushed you away.

Well, the questions stop right here, right now!

The 4 Fastest Ways To Get A Guy Back After He Pushed You Away

You want your guy back and you want him back fast. Well, you’ve come to the right place.

Some of these ways will go against what feels natural so much so that when you first read them, you might think I’m totally out of my mind.

I promise, I’m not.

We are going to dissect each one of these one by one in detail. When we finished you will have every bit of knowledge you need to succeed/.

Are you ready?

Okay.

Here’s a quick overview of what we are going to cover.

  1. Understanding Why Men Push You Away
  2. Giving Your Man Some Space: Believe it
  3. Creating Scarcity, Urgency and Fear of Loss
  4. Being Direct and Handling Confrontation

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

#1: Fully Understand Why Men Push You Away

I’ll let you in on a secret, men really hate to talk about our reasons behind our actions, why we do things, what we are thinking.

Honestly, most of the time we don’t even know. We don’t put that much, or often any, thought into why we doe the things we do. Or we do know but we don’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth.

However, understanding why a man pushes you away requires that we dive into these reasons why a guy might push you away. I didn’t think you’d believe just me, so I asked 1o guys one questions,

“Why is it that men push women away?”

The results, were very honest and at times even harsh.

Most of the responses were similar and had a common theme.

  • Being annoying (texting/calling all the time, wanting to hang out all the time, etc.)

  • Crying too much

  • Fighting too much

  • Being too clingy

  • Being too controlling

  • Being too negative

  • Asking too much or moving too fast

Do you see it?

All of these reasons have one thing in common.

We are going to call these “Too Qualities.”

Each one is too much of something.

So what does this tell you? Men push you away when they are feeling smothered by something. This happens when they feel like they are not getting enough of what they want out of a relationship and instead are working overtime to try to keep up with your “Too Qualities.”

When it gets to this point, this is likely when a guy will start to push you away.

Be honest with yourself. Did you have any “Too Qualities” that could have made your ex boyfriend want to push you away?

If so, to get your ex boyfriend back, you’re going to have to become aware of these and make a change that so your ex boyfriend doesn’t feel so smothered and won’t feel the need to push you away.

#2: Give Your Man Some Space

When a guy starts to push you away, you can feel it.

  • He stops calling as much.

  • He doesn’t make plans as often.

  • He wants to hang out with his friends more.

  • He becomes too busy to respond to some of your texts.

Trust me, when it happens you feel it. You might have tried to convince yourself that it’s not happening, but eventually you will come to realize that there is distance where there wasn’t any before. This is where you start to wonder where things really started to go wrong.

Sometimes your reaction to a guy pushing you away will actually make him push you away even more.

For most women, when a guy starts to push them away, it is only natural to want figure out what the problem is and try to fix it. You care about the relationship and want that gnawing sense that you’re losing him to go away.

Holding on tighter will almost always cause him to push you away more. Giving your guy some space will always feel counter-intuitive.

I know what you’re thinking… “Uh, what?!”

Let’s walk through why this makes sense.

You should give your ex boyfriend space after a breakup regardless. It allows you time to get your emotions in check and him time to realize he’s made a mistake by letting you slip away. If you don’t know what No Contact is or want to read more about it, check it out here!

Now, let’s talk about why giving your guy some space is so important when he is pushing you away. He may not even realize it but he is telling you something when he does this.

Of course he’s not just going to come right out and tell you that you are doing something that bothers him or that he needs some space. That would be too easy.

You know that old saying?

“Actions speak louder than words.”

Well, it’s perfectly applicable here. What he does speaks volumes over what he doesn’t say.

I know the idea of “space” may cause some of you to panic.

Don’t worry, giving space isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Even in the most successful relationships the need for space is normal. There are a number of reasons why a guy made need space where you did nothing wrong.

  • Pressure at work

  • Problems with family

  • Missing his friends

  • Being stressed out

However, there are also a few things you may have done that may have prompted his need for space. This takes us back to the “Too Qualities.”

  • Being clingy

  • Being controlling

  • Moving too fast

  • Spending too much time together

Think about it. Was there something happening that that could have made him want space?

To get him back you are going to have to show him that whatever it was, it won’t be a problem any more. The easiest way to do that is by giving him the space that he needed in the first place.

Here’s a video we made covering the basics of creating successful No Contact results.

During this time, your ex boyfriend’s negative thoughts and feelings towards you will me replaced with thoughts of missing you.

Once you get back in contact with him after your No Contact,you can then show him that you support him by avoiding the issues we talked about earlier.

#3: Create Scarcity, Urgency and Fear of Loss

When you’re in a relationship it is only natural for you to get used to giving your boyfriend a lot of attention and spending a lot of time with him.

In the same manner, he is used to having you in his life and feeling like a priority. It is only natural that following a break up, your ex boyfriend still thinks that you want him in your life as a priority.

Creating urgency and a fear of losing you is going to make your ex boyfriend question whether he still “has” you.

In fact, I take that back. Creating scarcity and urgency will make your ex boyfriend aware that that the doesn’t “have” you anymore and will have him chasing validation from you in no time.

#3 involves mastering three very important concepts:

  • Scarcity

  • Urgency

  • Fear of Loss

The details of the video above will clarify more on these points. But let’s talk about this further.

Scarcity means that you are rarely available and you must make your ex believe that you are one of a kind and cannot be replaced. Urgency means that you are going to make your ex think that he should recommit to you as soon as he can or otherwise he might lose you forever, which is Fear of Loss.

When you put these three concepts together, you are going to create a cocktail that will make your ex realize that he needs to recommit immediately otherwise he is going to lose something very rare.

Ah! Scary, right?

Exactly!

Now, imagine his view on this. His observation will be amplified more than yours, because he thinks that you’ll chase after him. He’s entitled.

Let’s first talk about why this works and then I will give you a couple of things you can do to put these things into action.

Scarcity is a concept that relates to the supply and demand. We tend to value things more when they are more scarce and in high demand. We are willing to do more to obtain things that are scarce that we know other people want. Right?

Here’s a practical example. Think about the new iPhone. Every single time iPhone releases a new model they put this into reality. Apple knows that a whole lot of people are going to want the new iPhone. People know this but they also know that there won’t be enough iPhone’s upfront for everyone to get one right then and there. You see, only a certain number of people can get the new iPhone on the day it is released. Everyone else ends up on back-order.

Right?

So how the heck does all of this relate to relationships?!

I’m getting there!

Your first step is going to be to make yourself seem really scarce. You are the new iPhone. You want to be rare and one of a kind.

Make yourself scarce by not being too available. You’re going to make your ex boyfriend work for your attention!

Do a proper No Contact following the break up. Let him chase you a bit by not initiating every conversation. Don’t be available for last minute dates. You get the idea!

The second part of this is you’re going to change the demand. Remember from above: we tend to value things that are more scarce and in high demand.

You’re going to have to put yourself in high demand or at least make your ex boyfriend think that you are in high demand. You do this by filling your time.

  • Go out with your friends

  • Take up a new hobby that you’ve always wanted to try

  • Create new activities to keep yourself busy

This is going to play hand in hand with creating urgency and fear of loss. Once your ex boyfriend starts to see that you are rare and in high demand, he is going to want start to want your attention back.

To increase this effect, you are going to use Urgency and Fear of Loss to your advantage. To create a sense of urgency you need to get your ex boyfriend thinking that if he doesn’t get your attention back now, he may lose you forever.

There is one very simply but very scary thing you can do.

Go on other dates.

Yes, I said that.

Let me say that again.

Go on dates with other people.

This will show him that you are wanted by other people and he’ll realize the possibility  that you could hit it off with someone on a date. He might lose you forever.

You show your ex boyfriend how scarce you will be and that you are not afraid of moving on by lightly documenting your new activities on social media. It will get back to your ex boyfriend that you’ve gone on a few dates.

I can tell you one thing for certain.

Exes will ALWAYS check in on you and see whwat you are up to.

#4: Direct Confrontation

Alright, alright, alright. Perhaps you’ve reached the end of this article and you don’t feel that any of the tactics above are impressive you. You are looking for a more direct way to tackle the issue.

That can be found in a direct confrontation.

Let’s talk about when a direct confrontation is appropriate, the pros and cons of a direct confrontation, and how to do this properly.

A direct confrontation is something I wouldn’t advise often. Only in only about 5% of cases.

What does this tell you? You should only use this Fast Way if you truly don’t think any of the other Fast Ways will work for you or if you’ve already tried them out and they just aren’t working for you.

A direct confrontation can be really attractive in some cases. It has the potential to show your ex boyfriend that pushing you away is not an appropriate way to communicate and you can’t be walked all over. Asserting your needs in a relationship and allowing him to step up to the plate to meet them sets up the potential for an open dialogue about what each of you is currently lacking and needs moving forward.

So what can go wrong? It sounds like an awesome option!

I call this tactic The Fast Way.

Often The Fast Way is also the sloppy way. It carries the risk of causing your ex boyfriend to shut down or pushing your ex boyfriend away further.

This is why it is so important that a direct confrontation is done correctly.

How do you do this, you ask?

I’ll tell you!

There are two key things you can do to ensure that a direct confrontation has the best chance at success:

  1. Know the reason he was pushing you away.

This is pretty self explanatory. You have to know the reason that your ex boyfriend was pushing you away in the first place. Why is this so important?

You cannot directly confront him about why he was pushing you away without knowing why he was pushing you away in the first place. Right?

You must be confident that you know why he was pushing you away. Don’t just guess a reason. If you don’t know, don’t directly confront him.

  1. Have a solution to the problem ready and show him you’re serious about it!

Once you’ve figured out why he was pushing you away, you’re going to have to figure out what you can do to change that and how how to show him that has changed. For example, if you were too clingy and controlling by getting upset when he wanted to hang out with his friends. Perhaps you kept interrupting by texting him a lot You’re going to have to tell him and then show him that you’re okay with him spending time with his friends and not text him when you know he’s hanging out with them.

When confronting him, you’re going to include this in your confrontation.

You know what, let me just show you what I mean.

What does a good direct confrontation look like?

About a week ago, I had the opportunity to help a client directly confront her ex boyfriend. It went awesome! Prior to confronting him, we talked at length about the reasons she thought he was pushing her away and being distant and also what she could say and do to present a solution and show him that those factors had changed.

After reflecting, she concluded that he pushed her away because she was too clingy when he was working and needed to focus on work.

Her solution was that moving forward she wouldn’t text him as much at work and in fact would end conversations first so he would have to text her first while at work; not the other way around.

Here is what she said when she confronted him:

Hi John –

You’re busy with work and that needs to be your priority. I don’t want you to feel pressured while working to message me and I’m sorry if you felt that way. I hope you’re doing well & I’m so proud of you!

Do you see how she was able to directly confront the issue, provide a solution, and end the confrontation on a positive note? That is exactly what a direct confrontation message should look like! In this case, John texted her back a very positive message and they have been in contact since. This formula is the best way to improve your chances of a direct confrontation going well.

Let’s Wrap It Up

Alright my friends, I’m about to set you free so you can start applying what we’ve talked about. Let’s just recap this one last time though.

He pushed you away That sucks but you are now armed with some serious tools to get him back including the 4 Fastest Ways To Get a Guy Back That Pushed You Away. So do not panic!

These ways are:

1. Fully Understand Why Men Push You Away – Guys will push you away typically because of your ” Too Qualities” something and they feel a bit overwhelmed by it. Understanding the exact reason why your guy pushed you away will help you get him back.

2. Give Your Man Some Space – By pushing you away in the first place, you guy was telling you that he needed space with his actions so giving your ex boyfriend some space can only help.

3. Create Scarcity, Urgency and Fear of Loss – Ultimately trying to get a guy back who pushed you away is simply a function of making him regret his decision. When it comes to regret there are three key concepts you need to achieve. Scarcity, Urgency and Fear of Loss

4. Direct Confrontation – At times, it can be a really attractive quality to assert yourself and directly confrontation of the issue. This is a tricky method that should only be used if you are confident that you know his reason for pushing you away in the first place and you feel that you have a solution that you are ready to present. Tread lightly.

Best of luck! Let me know how it goes in the comments below!

38 thoughts on “How To Get A Guy Back That Pushed You Away”

  1. Avatar

    Ayda

    April 2, 2019 at 7:36 pm

    hi chris
    me and my boyfriend were together about 4 years (long distanced but we know each other since childhood and we kinda are relative)
    and we broke up once ago but came back with help of you and your page thanks forthat♥️
    but after year we again broke up about 2 months ago
    i immediately started NC but after it ended i was uncertain to text him so I didn’t but i had to go to the city he lives and stay there for a week
    during that time he just texted and said welcome here and NM and although we meet each other many times and were at same party but there wasnt any conversion beetween us
    now i was wondering should i go on an other NC and contact him or what
    can you help me plz
    i need this thnk:)

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 2, 2019 at 9:40 pm

      Hi Ayda…sounds like you should explore striking up some text conversation to explore where things stand.

  2. Avatar

    Candace

    April 2, 2019 at 4:06 pm

    Hi Chris
    My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years moved out 16 days ago and has only told me “I can’t do this anymore”, “I’m not coming home” and “you are such an amazing woman, are strong, powerful and beautiful and will have an amazing life”. He left after we had a very big fight while we were on a family vacation. I am for sure an UG, but made some really big mistakes these past three years as well (so has he) which caused us over the course of our relationship to have about 6 very big fights. He has threatened to leave historically but never has. This time he has left (still has a lot of stuff at my house and we are joint everything and own all assets together) and has changed his banking, passwords (i.e. netflix which I use as well), etc. We had to talk last Friday to pay some bills but I have barely heard from him other than the odd text saying “I hope you are doing well”. nothing in the past five days though. Will he come home? What is he thinking or going through?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 2, 2019 at 9:42 pm

      Hi Candace…..so guys can flake out sometime and just need to go away and clear the mind. So I assume you have implemented No Contact as part of your ex recovery strategy. Feel free to check out my Program for many more details of how to proceed during this post breakup period.

  3. Avatar

    Dawn

    March 29, 2019 at 12:46 am

    Hi Chris,

    I read on your site that once the NC period is over, I should reach out to my ex. It also said that I should always be the one to end the conversation. Do I do this by just not replying to one of his texts for a few days? Or do I “announce” this in the conversation by saying something like: “…gotta go now. Have a great night!” My NC period is almost over so I want to make sure I do this the right way. Thank you.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 29, 2019 at 10:17 pm

      Hi Dawn…I go into all these details in my epic long eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”, so go take a look! There is a certain method to trying to get the communications off the ground. Think small – little moves in the beginning with a slow evolution

  4. Avatar

    Dawn

    March 28, 2019 at 11:26 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My ex-boyfriend and I dated for about 5 months. I’ve been betrayed before so I really tried to go slow so I wouldn’t get my heart broken again. He seemed so committed and told me that he wasn’t going anywhere and said that he really saw a future with me so I finally let myself fall in love with him. He told me I was amazing and he couldn’t ask for anything more. Then a week later, he broke up with me. This was 3 months ago. He said he couldn’t handle a relationship, was overwhelmed and confused, and I was too good for him. I got very emotional because it completely caught me off guard. We’ve texted back and forth a bit but I’ve always been the one to initiate. He always responds right away but usually with just a few long texts, then stops. The last time I indicated to him how frustrated I was that it didn’t look like we were still friends because I’d been waiting 2 weeks for a text back to our last conversation. He gave me a lame excuse of being busy with school, etc. I saw your site and really want him back so I’m using your NC rule. It’s been 25 days since that last text. I even went completely invisible on social media hoping that he’ll notice a change in my behavior and wonder what I’m up to. I’m wondering how long I should go with NC. I know that I should have tried this right after the break-up 3 months ago but this suggestion is brand new to me. Now I’m concerned that I waited too long to use this method. Is 30 days good, or should I go longer since I waited so long?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 29, 2019 at 10:19 pm

      I agree..taking small steps and going it slow leaves room for you to heal and grow as well as allowing your ex to reflect on what is truly important to them. NC periods usually range 21-30 days, but its different for everyone. Got check into my Program as I spend 485 pages going into a lot of details like this!

  5. Avatar

    sbp

    March 25, 2019 at 3:16 pm

    Hi Chris!
    Can you produce and article regarding signs that an ex that you have been in contact with and have remained close is pushing you away because he is interested in someone else? Thanks;)

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 25, 2019 at 11:24 pm

      Thanks for the suggestion..great idea!

  6. Avatar

    Ashi

    March 10, 2019 at 11:08 am

    Hi Chris,
    Me and my bf are in a long distance relationship from last 7 months. I sent him a rude text because he wasn’t replying to my texts and we were not talking much due to a dental surgery that he had last week. I was really worried about his health and that we were not talking. He has now blocked me on Whatsapp and phone ( we aren’t connected on any other social media app) I am freaking out please help me. I don’t wanna be without him. I love him

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 10, 2019 at 9:32 pm

      Hi Ashi…ouch…so rude texts might make you feel better, but they probably don’t help in the long run. Try not to freak out anymore because that will just make things worse. Go pick up my eBook “EBR PRO” because you would benefit from having a Companion Guide right there by your side to help you with healing/recovery and those things you can do to better your chances.

  7. Avatar

    Virginia

    February 18, 2019 at 6:22 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I’ve been on your site for over an hour reading things, and this article resonated with me. My bf of 3.5 years hit me with the, “I don’t feel a spark” and “I love you, but I can’t get those lovey dovey feelings back as much as I want to” conversation. That was right before Christmas those words were said. He’s also going through “the lowest point in his life” and is struggling with family, his job and finding value and happiness. I went into panic and recovery mode and did the most, but he finally pulled the plug and broke things off 3/4 days ago. I have thus packed my things and am moving out of our apartment. I’ve started the NC rule. This isn’t the first time I’ve packed my things and have moved on, but this one hurts as we were just looking at engagement rings in October.

    Is there even a chance when someone says they are no longer IN LOVE with you?

  8. Avatar

    alina

    February 12, 2019 at 8:53 pm

    This guy and I got together and he had just gotten out of a relationship of four months. We were casual at first but then things got serious between us. We started doing relationship things together. I also had nowhere to live so he offered for me to stay with him. Things were really good between us, we are super compatible, got along great, no fights. Then he started to get stressed so I offered to stay somewhere else. Then we talked and he said he wanted to live a simple life and he wasn’t ready for a relationship, that things moved too fast and aggressive between us and he needed space to figure stuff out. I asked if there was another girl and he said no. Ive been giving him space, haven’t messaged him. But we hangout at the same places, with the same friends, so we see each other a lot. However, he was ignoring me for awhile until he finally said hi to me yesterday. Things were so good between us, and I just want to know how to get him interested in me again? or a committed relationship?

  9. Avatar

    Anita

    February 9, 2019 at 11:45 am

    Hey Chris, thanks for your article it’s really helped me view things differently. I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years, during this time we spent most of the time together, I admit we may have fallen out of love a couple of times over the years but we always found a way back to each other, he recently moved overseas for a masters and after some time he asked me for a break that he was going through stuff and needed the space, I didn’t give it to him tho I felt we could work through whatever it is, a month after that we finally saw and spent the Christmas holiday together, I went through his phone and noticed he was seeing this other girl, I confronted him about it and he said it was nothing and that he loved me but we was just in a bad place in his life. After I got back home we texted and had normal phone calls for about 3 weeks and everything seemed okay. One day I logged into his messenger and noticed he’s spending a lot of time with this same girl, I got mad and texted her, texted him too and made a huge scene. He apologized continuously and told me how he could never replace me and was sorry for the heart break but never said he wanted to work on our relationship. I blocked him while he was typing and started the no contact rule, it’s been 8days and I haven’t heard anything from him, please help me.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 10, 2019 at 1:01 am

      Hi Anita!

      Looks like you both could benefit from having some alone time so as to evaluate what is truly happening in this relationship. If things don’t come together or at least move in that direction in the week to come, then you should consider my Program of ex recovery.

  10. Avatar

    Christine

    February 6, 2019 at 6:08 am

    Hi Chris,

    Love, love, love your article! I see a lot of truth and similarities between my ex and what you describe. My long distance relationship of over a year recently ended (suddenly in my opinion) and a big reason was due to a need for space and room to work on himself. There are obviously more contributing factors, but I know a lot of your insights are helpful in helping me see his POV. My biggest concern reading this is that I have already broken the NC rule. I’ve talked to him on the phone regarding our relationship and seen him in person since the breakup. However, he does live long distance and now we won’t see each other for a while. Is it possible to NOW start a NC period? Or is too late? Thank you!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 7, 2019 at 2:21 am

      Thanks Christine! Not too later to start NC. There are a lot of moving pieces in implementing NC to its fullest form, so be sure to check out my Program to learn more!

  11. Avatar

    Magda

    February 5, 2019 at 5:47 pm

    Hi Chris and Team!
    Great article, really brings awareness of men’s way of thinking and possibilites how to handle it. I am definitely more aware now about my mistakes and being too controlling and I am working on that quality. But I have a question. How to create a Fear of Loss, when my ex already told me I would be much happier with someone else than him and he doesn’t want to be in my life anymore? It seems that he is completely fine with loosing me. One month of NC passed away and he is having great time with his friends (who don’t like me and don’t want him to be with me). He’s not using social media and he avoids our mutual friends. What to do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 6, 2019 at 1:28 am

      Hi Magda…thanks for the kinds words. Not every guy responds the same. Perhaps in the near future you will have a better sense if he is opening himself up to revisiting the relationship. After NC, my Program calls for you to reach out in a certain way. So work thru that before drawing any lasting conclusions.

  12. Avatar

    Shawna

    February 3, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Hello. What if he started to push me away (he’s dealing with some very personal stuff) and I am the one who impulsively deleted him? I then sent him a message saying it was easier for me to delete him as my heart was broken. He replied I still have a special place in his heart. I know he needs this space right now, but I was too quick to just delete him. He can still contact me in a couple of other ways, but since I’m the one that reacted too quickly, will the NC rule still work for me?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 4, 2019 at 3:59 am

      Hi Shawna!

      I understand…some guys have some personal stuff they need to work through. So I think NC is the right medicine and you can let him know you need some “alone time” too and will be dropping off the radar to reflect on things and focus on being the best “you”.

  13. Avatar

    Christine

    February 3, 2019 at 3:53 am

    Hi Chris – I’ve been dating my 30 yr old boyfriend for 3 years. Everything was going great and in the last 6 months, I think we would agree things were getting even more serious. Our families took a trip to Europe together, I spent Christmas at his parents, and we agreed to moving in together at the end of the year. Three weeks after the moving in together conversation, he started acting differently. I thought he was having another stressful week at work (which is very common – he works LONG, intense hours) but when I asked him to talk about it, he said hes been stressed at work, he’s been worried about moving in together & he thinks we should take a break for a week or two to figure out what he want before we start another busy year together. He said if we are going to be forever together, he’s needs some time alone to think. I haven’t spoken to him in a week and I am devastated. I’m not going to reach out first because I want to give him the time he asked for. I’m preparing for the worst (an official break up) but since nothing was wrong, I have a hard time believing that will actually happen. The other option is, he will say he was scared and that he wants to be together but perhaps slow things down. I was so happy before this & now I’m thinking, can I be with someone who blindsides me and doesn’t speak to me for a week during a hard or stressful time in his life? I need a partner who will communicate and work through things with me versus distancing themselves completely. What do you think he’s thinking?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 4, 2019 at 4:02 am

      HI Christine!

      Its best not to crowd a guy when they get this way. Sometimes they get confused or fearful of the future and over process things. Later he may realize how insensitive he is acting toward you and I know it hurts, but giving him space sometimes is the best medicine. Take a look at my Program and how you should go forward making use of the No Contact principle and all the pieces that make up this approach.

  14. Avatar

    Jen

    January 30, 2019 at 12:11 am

    I was with my ex on and off for four years. We broke up and got back together numerous times and I was his first everything. Our last talk he said he needed space cause we were arguing and I understand and I’m not speaking with him cause he requested space.
    He also told me he loves me and misses me and I’m scared to reach out and wanted to do 21 day NC. Are my chances good he’ll come back? He normally does but what if this time is different? And I’m determined to work on our issues.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 31, 2019 at 1:36 am

      Hi Jen….so long as you are guided by a sensible ex recovery strategy and doing all the things I teach in my Program, you amplify your chances.

  15. Avatar

    Sarah M.

    January 28, 2019 at 6:40 am

    Hello Chris! My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. I am doing the no contact rule currently but I have a feeling it might not work because before we broke up, I begged him not to break up with me. Does he feel like he can come back whenever he wants to because he thinks I will take him back instantly? And he said some pretty mean things pre-breakup.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 28, 2019 at 11:37 pm

      Hi Sarah…give NC a chance and remember, a big part of it is taking care of your personal needs for healing, recovery, and growth. If he said mean things, then certainly do not be in any rush to take him back. He has much to learn about how to properly treat a woman.

  16. Avatar

    Ella

    January 27, 2019 at 6:37 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My ex has had a new girlfriend for a few months -one that he seemed to have gotten quite quickly after I ended things with him and he blocked me. He even stopped replying to me a couple months after when I reached out. I thought this time he was really done with me but I’ve noticed that recently he was snooping on my Instagram stories..he also never posts his new girlfriend on his stories but she does maybe once a week.. I find that very odd. (Yes it’s hard for me not to look sometimes ) I have a feeling he doesn’t want me or anyone finding out just in case things don’t work out between them.

    Do men do this just out of curiosity? Why would somebody keep looking at an ex’s page if they have a girlfriend? It’s been almost 5 months (excluding that time a few months ago I tried reaching out) that we have not spoken on perfect terms.

    Thank you!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 27, 2019 at 9:41 pm

      Its hard for guys to let go of all their thoughts about you and so that will stalk your social media to see what you are up to. Maybe he is trying to figure out what he wants. As to whether he has a gf…its possible…not sure. Having a gf probably wouldn’t stop him checking up on you.

  17. Avatar

    Ria

    January 26, 2019 at 7:05 am

    My ex and I broke up last week. He returned from a vacation and went straight to working. I felt things were off and he kept reassuring me nothing was wrong. The day we broke up i had called him and he had told me he would call back because he was on work calls… 5 hours later I stumble across a video of him at a brunch. So i confronted him about it and told him to pack my belongings. It’s been almost a week and he keeps giving me excuses as to why he can’t give me my things. He’s hot and cold when we speak, gets angry at times then “doesn’t remember” saying things. He doesn’t seem to care that we broke up or take responsibility for his actions or how they made me feel. I’m not even sure how to act when I pick up my things or even when I should. I worry the no contact won’t work since we’ve already spoken and been in contact. Any advice?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 27, 2019 at 3:10 am

      Hi Ria…so he may be having some misgivings. So just taking things slow with limited contact for awhile and see if some of the strain and stress can settle back.

  18. Avatar

    Yara

    January 26, 2019 at 2:01 am

    Hi! So I totally went the direct confrontation route in the sense of I did the 30 days no contact, re initiated contact and all was going well until I slipped up (ok, it wasnt a slip) and told him I missed him. He completely shut down. He told me he was trying his hardest to get over me and me saying that doesn’t help. I let a few weeks pass and then I popped up somewhere I knew he would be. It went great! he looked so happy to see me, we chatted, we laughed, we hugged, he probed me trying to find out who/if I was dating. we chatted some more, hugged again and went our separate ways. I don’t know what to do next. I changed my number and he doesnt have it. Should I pop up again?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 27, 2019 at 3:21 am

      Hi Yara…yeah, sometimes guy will just shut down. So why not take little steps and try to rebuild some text communications. Consider picking up my 355 page Guide “Texting Bible”.

  19. Avatar

    Hi

    January 25, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    Hi,
    My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. We said that we still wanted to remain good friends and continue texting and seeing each other. However, so far every time I have asked him to hang out, he has either not responded or said he couldn’t hang out. I have also noticed that his replies to my texts have become rarer and now I have not heard from him in over a week. I have texted him several times since the last time we spoke, which seemed to be a normal conversation, and he has not responded. He did say at one point that he wasn’t going to answer every time but it seems odd that he appears to have suddenly cut all contact. Could he have blocked me or is he intentionally ignoring me? I’m not sure what to think. I know I made some mistakes after we broke up, getting emotional and sending too many texts and complaining that we weren’t talking and hanging out as much as we said we would. Is there still a chance things will get better? Thank you for any help you are able to provide.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 25, 2019 at 10:35 pm

      Hello…blocking is usually done out of impulse for various reasons that are not always logical. So it seems you would benefit from a sensible ex recovery plan. I have a heck of a Guide that can show you the way…EBR PRO….so check it out!

  20. Avatar

    Nany

    January 25, 2019 at 7:48 am

    Hi Chris,

    Thank you for posting these articles and helping out so many heartbroken people.
    My ex boyfriend brokeup with me, the relation was just becoming worse due to fights. I wanted to solve it, but he brokeup all of a sudden. I acted a bit crazy for a week and did no contact for 10 days. But then he contacted me, yesterday I got to know he is with another girl now, whom I always had a doubt about and fought with him. I called him and broke down, he said I assume things and fight, that’s why I brokeup.
    But I don’t. It’s true, my mutual friends have seen this, but he puts the blame on me and blocks me. And said I will make sure I have another girl, do not contact me again.
    What should I do? Please help me.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 25, 2019 at 11:14 pm

      Hi Nany…looks like he is playing the blame game and being mean. I think its time to return to NC

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