Warning Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Wants YOU Back

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

This may be shocking to hear, especially after your ex treated you so poorly after your breakup, but he may secretly want you back. One of the most asked questions I get on this site, aside from “how do I get my ex back” is “how do I know that my ex boyfriend actually wants me back?” In this article I am going to take an in-depth look at the male psyche and try to give you a resource that you can refer to if you want to know if he wants you back. No, this is not an exact science but I have found that time and time again an ex who is really missing his girl exhibits the signs laid out on this page.

Side Note: If you are an avid reader of my site you may be thinking that this article is similar to the signs your ex still loves you. While I will admit that this article has a similar preface it is taking a much different approach and it is my goal to make this as informative as possible.

The Rundown Of This Page

Did you know that an ex will exhibit certain signs when he begins to want you back? This page is going to explore those signs essentially giving you a checklist to watch out for. Now, I am not going to pretend to know everything (because I don’t.) There may be signs that I left out of this page that he could exhibit and there may be signs on this page that he could exhibit (but still doesn’t want you back.) However, what I will tell you is that I have a lot of experience dealing with these situations so the signs that you see listed below will most likely mean your ex is seriously regretting his decision to not be with you. I will be covering things like

  • Understanding the male mind after a breakup.
  • The importance of anger and how to understand it.
  • And how the no contact rule fits into all of this.

Lets talk a little about what this page will not cover now. I know that I am known as the “breakup guy.” I am proud to announce that I have helped multiple women get back with their exes. However, this page doesn’t really talk about that too much. It is assumed that you want your ex back but all this page is designed to do is help you understand if HE wants YOU back. Now, if your are past that and just want to know exactly what to do to get him back then I would like to direct you to Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, my E-Book. In there you can learn the exact steps you need to implement in order to get an ex back. I will leave a link below for you to click on but for now lets just dive right in to the warning signs ;).

Click Here For Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

The Male Mind After A Breakup

I thought a great way to kick off this particular article was with a look at the male mind after a breakup. As many of you know I am a male so I can give a very unique perspective on how to get your ex back by getting inside the mind of your guy. Contrary to popular belief men do actually have feelings. Now, I would say that 95% of the people reading this are women. At your core you are very emotional creatures. You aren’t afraid to cry when you need to cry or feel when you need to feel. I have learned that women are very in touch with their emotions.

Funny story actually, I remember having a friend in high school (she was a girl) that was literally all over the place emotionally. She wouldn’t be afraid to cry in class or do any other overemotional things. The funny part was how fast she would bounce back after these emotional outbursts. You would see her an hour later and she would be carrying on like nothing happened. It always struck me as bizarre but as I thought more and more about it I began to realize that women are much better at handling their emotions than men are.

Sure, a guy can cry after a breakup but what I am talking about here goes much deeper than that. Men shun true emotions after a breakup. I can remember my own breakup and how I handled it. I had been dating this girl for almost a year and at the end it was really… rocky. I remember after we broke up I felt completely free. It felt like weights had been lifted off of my shoulders. I remember thinking “this isn’t so bad.” Of course, a few days later I began to realize just how bad a breakup can be as the emotions hit me. I didn’t know what to do with them. I had never felt the type of things I was experiencing. (It was my first breakup ever.)

Every guy has a different way of handling a breakup. Me, I became a recluse for a while and decided to focus on myself. Other guys will create a defense mechanism that prevents any girl in the future from every penetrating it (George Clooney.) Of course, there is also the rebound guy that starts getting into new relationships immediately after your breakup.

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • Women know how to deal with emotions, men do not.
  • It can sometimes take a few days for the “emotions” to kick in for a guy after a breakup.
  • Every guy has a unique way of handling a breakup (defense mechanism, recluse, rebound.)

Anger Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

Now we are diving into the meat of this article! There is a common misconception going around that I would like to take a moment to dispel.

Common Misconception- If your ex is angry it means he doesn’t want you back.

NOT TRUE!

In fact, I would be more worried if your ex wasn’t angry with you in some way shape or form. Also, you have to keep in mind that sometimes your ex could be doing a phenomenal job at hiding his anger so I will admit that it isn’t always easy to tell if your boyfriend is angry at you. Anyways, back to the point here. Hate isn’t the opposite of love, apathy is.

You see, any time he displays any form of anger aimed towards you (yelling, talking bad about you to his friends, talking bad about you to you) women take it personally. I can understand why they take it personally too, after all, no one likes to be called a bit$% or get yelled at in the street. Nevertheless, lets try to take a deeper look into what is going through the mind of a man who is doing these types of things.

I will not lie to you, I have gotten into a shouting match with a girlfriend before. I have yelled at the top of my lungs and said some really horrible stuff. While I am certainly ashamed of these things I think I have found a way to put these horrible memories to use, by helping you out.

Any time I have done anything like this I have been extremely “emotionally invested” with the person I was talking to. I cared about them on a very deep level and because of that deep level every action that they performed was magnified. I wasn’t yelling because deep down I hated the person or never wanted to be with them again. I yelled because I cared about them in some twisted way.

I know, I know it is really twisted but that is literally how a guys mind works. So, that is the first sign I would say that you should look for to determine if your ex wants you back.

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • If your ex is angry with you it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you back.
  • It can be tricky to tell if an ex is angry with you because some of them do a good job at hiding it.
  • Usually anger means your ex is emotionally invested in you.

How The No Contact Rule Can Work As A Warning Sign

If you are an avid reader of this website then you know that I am a huge fan of the no contact rule. In fact, sometimes I feel like a broken record repeating the same advice over and over. No contact rule this, no contact rule that. It may shock you to learn that the NC rule can actually be used as a test to see if your ex wants you back.

Men in general like to think very highly of themselves. However, when you add in the fact that he has a girl wanting him his ego can get really inflated. One of my best friends described this phenomenon perfectly. He would tell me that he used to go to the gym to please girls. He wanted a “hot” body so that girls would fall over themselves just to have a chance to be with him. He says that he remembers going to the gym and being pretty arrogant because he had the “fitness model” body. Now, keep in mind at this point my friend didn’t have a girlfriend this was just how he saw himself.

Of course, a few years later when he was in a relationship with a girl his trips to the gym were completely different. He walked around thinking he was a king. He was “preselected” by women and it gave him an ego you wouldn’t believe. In his mind he could do no wrong. He didn’t even have to work out anymore. A man feels like an absolute god when he knows there is a girl that likes him.

Now, lets apply this knowledge to your ex. At this point, it doesn’t matter who broke up with who. You want him back and chances are he knows it. This fact alone will inflate his ego to an extraordinary level because in his mind he has you wrapped around his finger.

BUT

When you add in the no contact rule suddenly the dynamic changes. He is expecting you to call him a million times during the breakup, do the emotional dance and even get on your knees and beg for him to come back to you. Only if you do a strict no contact rule he begins to wonder why you aren’t doing what you are supposed to do in begging for him back. Soon, he begins to worry that you have moved on so he reaches out to you, only you don’t respond.

Oh, now he is getting angry. In his mind he is this god who can have any woman he wants (because he had you) and you have the audacity to ignore his call? Anger on his part during the no contact rule is the next warning sign. I know it sounds crazy. How can an upset ex be a good thing? Again, it means he is emotionally invested in what you think and do.

There are a few things I would still like to point out though. The warning sign here is only shown if HE initiates contact during the no contact period. So, he has to call you/text you/facebook you/email you and then YOU have to ignore him. His reaction to you ignoring him is the sign for him wanting you back. The more upset he gets the more your value rises to him. I know that sounds weird, I mean, I am basically saying you want your ex to get upset. However, lets look at it on a logical level.

If he is this upset by your freeze out during the no contact rule we know that it means he is emotionally invested in you. It’s important that you don’t engage him because you want the dynamic to be that you are in control at all times. Him always having to work to get you will kind of turn him on a little bit because guys always want what they can’t have. Also, if he realizes that he is constantly chasing or having to work to get you your value will raise in his eyes. Instead of being the crazy ex girlfriend you will be the one that got away.

Pssstt… (Men always want the one that got away!)

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • In order for this warning sign to manifest you have to implement the no contact rule which you can learn more about here.
  • Men have big egos to start with but when they know they are “preselected” by girls their ego shoots through the roof.
  • If your ex boyfriend gets upset at you during the NC rule for not responding to him it means he is emotionally invested.
  • The more upset he gets during the NC period the more your value will rise to him.

Moving On A Little Quickly Now Aren’t We?

Men deal with breakups in all kinds of different ways. I actually alluded to this at the beginning of the article but I really didn’t go too far in-depth because I knew I was going to be talking about it here. Well, perhaps I should be a little more specific, I am going to be talking about one particular way that men deal with a breakup that is a surefire warning sign that he is not over you yet and may want you back in the future.

I hear a lot of stories every single day. As I am writing this article I am looking at my un-moderated comments. Shockingly, it is kind of low as there are only 33 I haven’t answered yet. Now, I can make you one guarantee about these 33 comments. When I do get to them later tonight there will be one or two that sound like this:

Chris, my ex and I dated for three years. We broke up a week ago but I wish I had found your site earlier because I have made so many mistakes that you say not to make. I called him too much and basically begged to get him back. I am afraid I scared him off because now he is dating this other girl….

Every single day I literally have a comment that looks like that. While I am absolutely thrilled to be getting these types of comments so early in this sites history I sometimes feel like some people don’t read what I am recommending and just decide to comment. But that is besides the point.

The point is that I chose this particular type of comment to discuss in this section because it is a potential warning sign that your ex boyfriend is not over you. As I said, every guy has a different way of dealing with a breakup. This particular type of guy immediately goes on the prowl looking for a woman to take away his pain.

Instead of doing the smart thing and letting a certain amount of time to go by, so he can heal, he tries to replace the hole in his heart with someone else, someone new. In the relationship industry we like to call this a “rebound relationship.” That is your sign. If he very quickly moves on after your relationship it is going to hurt you no doubt. However, you need to take a step back and look at things in a more “big picture” perspective. In most cases, rebound relationships don’t last. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the article I linked to above.

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • Men have different ways of dealing with breakups.
  • One of the most common ways is to go on the prowl for girls to fill the hole that you left in his heart.
Published August 2, 2013, | Modified November 8, 2016

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

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What Do You Think? (1,201)

  1. Stephanie - 0

    Stephanie

    Hi.

    My ex ex cheated and left me for the girl he cheated on me with, unfortunately I can’t do the NC rule as we have 4 kids together(been together for almost 10 years). At first when he left he didn’t call or came to see the kids for 2-3 weeks and then he started calling and coming to see the kids and took them with him a few times which caused a lot of arguments because I didn’t want her around my kids because I felt like it’s not good for them right now as they’re having a very difficult time with the fact their dad is gone and he should give them the time to get over it before he brings them around her but he didn’t listen and did it anyway which caused a lot more problems with the kids who are obviously not happy to see their dad with someone else than mom but recently he agreed to come see them at the house(which really surprised me and thought it was strange of him since he’s so stubborn and only wants his way). Despite everything that happened and him cheating I kinda understand, he got laid off and money was a huge caused of stress for both of us which in turn caused a lot of arguments between us and I think he felt depressed and like he wasn’t good enough for me and the kids. I do still love him and yes I want him back and even though I couldn’t do the NC rule I never told him I wanted him back(however I think my kids might have told him a few things like I miss him and I wish he was home with us because everytime we have an argument he blurts out “I don’t want to be with you” and the last time he told me that I asked him why he always says that since it got nothing to do with the conversation and he didn’t say anything. Another thing I forgot to mention, after he left he was really nasty to me and acted as if I was the one who cheated and left him, he also kept denying she was his girlfriend and kept saying there was no relationship even though he knew that I knew she was living there sleeping in his bed, up until recently and he also talked to our kids about him not living with us anymore but he told them it was OUR decision(it wasn’t mine and I didn’t have any say about anything) and he also told my daughter he’s not coming home because mommy is mad at him after my daughter told him that mommy wish daddy was home. As for him being nasty it’s mainly when there’s people with him when we’re talking on the phone and he also act very impatient with me even though I’m being nice to him, also when he needs help with something he comes to me instead of asking his girlfriend which I told him many times it should be her doing it not me.. sorry for the long comment and I’m sure I forgot to mention other things that are important but please help I’m confused. Why is he acting like I’m the one who cheated and left and why would he be mad at me? Because when he left I didn’t beg for him to stay and told him I didn’t want him back? Another thing, when he’s using his phone to watch videos on YouTube he’s still using my account so when I went in “search” to type something I saw that he listened to the song “Life after you” so it makes me wonder could he be afraid to tell me he made a mistake and regret everything he’s done or he really don’t want to be with me? Because when he tells me he doesn’t want to be with me or he doesn’t care about me is only during arguments.

    Please help! Thank you
    Stephanie

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Stephanie,

      he probably relates you to negativity because of the arguments and he’s tired of it..he’s anger can be more of a defense mechanism or a way for him to still have a sense of power..

      You can still try nc, it will be limited..check this:

      Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together

  2. Sasha - 0

    Sasha

    My ex of 4 years and 7 months broke up with me for cheating. I have to say, I never meant to do it, but I felt alone and weak. So it happened. We were on and off until I realized he had a girlfriend. I called him out and he cut all contact with me. I became obsessive. He tells me he wants a future with me, yet he gets with this chick instead? One night I went on a texting rampage and he responded with a hurtful but to an extent truthful message. To out it short, he’s hurting still. And he’s drinking himself to sleep. Fast forward to a few months later. I sent a friend to his door because I was afraid of being sent away. His family left a message suggesting I “get over it like he did” but he has yet to speak to me. I stopped talking to him a month from then. I decided to poke him on Facebook and he poked me back. This went on for a few days and then deleted my poke. I sent him a link with all of our Facebook history on it (the date we met, got engaged, photos everything) and he blocked me from messaging him. I noticed that he’ll block me from messaging him multiple times, but later on unblock me. What should I do? I’ve been planning to message him and say I won’t be chasing him anymore. I’ve been really hurting. Do I send the message? Why is he acting like this? Are these signs that he does want to keep in contact?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sasha,

      maybe he’s open on being friends.. If you’re going to restart the no contact rule, do 45 days and act as if you’re moving on..continue the routine you started during nc even after nc..

  3. Amber - 0

    Amber

    Ok so my ex and I broke up 5 years ago, he wants to get drinks/ dinner this Sunday when I said I might not be able to make it his response was “aww damnit” followed by “Id love to see you”. I dont know if hes lying, playing me, just wants a booty call or if I should go or bail….. I asked him where he wanted to meet he replied ill figure that out… I dont know what to think.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Amber,

      did you really mean 5 years or 5 days?

  4. Beth - 0

    Beth

    My ex and I were together for 4 years. I haven’t moved on and I cry every night because I miss him. I don’t call him. I am very confused I don’t know what to do, my ex and Ibroke up 2 months ago, we haven’t talked since then. But during those 2 months he called me 3 times and they were late night calls telling me he missed me and that he doesn’t want me back but I know that was because he was hurt and trying to hurt me tooo. I never called him unless it concerned about our line together which I was getting off. Also other times he called was about him getting his bike back , which never happened. This happened twice. Barely last night he called me late night again telling me about a dream he had, ( That I was with anoher guy) then he asked me what time I am off of work I told him and he said he is off at 8 , that he wants to talk to me. I don’t know what to do, I am scared and sad . It will be the first time we sad eacother after the break up .

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi beth,

      why did you break up? Talk to him first, and then update us

  5. Sandy Acosta - 0

    Sandy Acosta

    Okay, so…..my bf broke up with me a week ago and went to move in with his mom but he still left some stuff in my room. I was so heart broken for the first 3 days after the break up. We been together for 2 years and a half. The fourth day he asked if he can come over to pick up his stuff, I said its okay but I’m not gonna be there since he has the keys I really don’t need to be there. He said he felt weird going there because of my family but I told him they don’t care. I did a mistake and stayed, he came and we ended up going to the movies, after that we came back in my room and he kissed me so it led to sex. When he left I got mad because he said it wasn’t suppose to happen and he still needs more time? The next day he said he forgot something and he wanted me to be there again with the same excuse that he feels weird if I’m not there. He cane by but this time we didn’t do anything except hug and he took me to Dennis to eat. Then I told him he needs to really get all his stuff out of my room because he can’t just be coming over like that! I told him I can’t see him and it makes it so hard for me to move on. He said true. I do want him back and i want to apply the NC rule but it’s so hard whenkeeps coming by for his things. What is going on with him!!! Also I don’t text him, he usually does but it’s to tell me he’s coming over for his stuff.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sandy,

      it’s ok to talk about his stuff but don’t go out with him to eat if you’re there when he’s getting his stuff and don’t reply if he texts for small talk. You should be focused in yourself, healing and improving during the no contact rule.

  6. Julie Sanders - 0

    Julie Sanders

    My boyfriend of 8 years just told me he needed space after a big argument. He left and is staying with a friend. He keeps wanting to talk and text everyday for the past 4 days since he left. I think we talk more now then during the relationship. He says he is still deciding what he wants to do, stay together or move on. Today he wants to meet in person. 1. Is that a good sign? 2. How much time should I give him to make up his mind? 3. Is he just leading me on with the constant talking so that I don’t drift while he is deciding? 4. Is the constant talking making the maybe pending break easier on him?

    Any insight would be helpful. This is a new area to me.

    TIA

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Julie,

      it’s just been days.. It’s normal that he’s still missing you. Go, and talk to him.. Try to talk about what you should do and not do to make the relationship work

  7. Sangeetha D - 0

    Sangeetha D

    Mine is a long distant relationship. We recently broke up. Let’s say I’m implementing this No contact rule. What if he thinks that I’m fine and moved on, and doesn’t call me again?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sangeetha,

      so, do you mean he wants you to be sad for him to get back with you?

  8. Etta - 0

    Etta

    Hi. My ex of almost four months just broke up with me, because of, according to him, another woman he met during the same event we attended though on different days.
    However, during that phone call, he went completely left field by asking me “what is your favorite food” and what is your favorite wine”? Though I answered him, I kept wondering to myself what in the world has those things to do with anything.
    Anyway, during our relationship, his mother and I, because I’ve witnessed her controlling, manipulative behavior, had words and now he wants me to mend things between us, which I’m refusing to do. The last I heard from him was past Thursday evening, we talked about it, he asked when am I calling his mother, I gave him an off hand quick answer, he said he wanted me to call that day, I refused, telling him I was going out, getting ready to walk out the door. All of a sudden he barked “WHERE ARE YOU GOING!” I took offense that he has no right by asking ” Why are you questioning me? I never questioned you, etc.” He refuted by saying I never had to because he always told me which is true.
    Anyway, the next day Friday, I received 3 calls, no voicemail. One was his mother, at least her name popped up, the other two from him, again no voicemails. I refused to answer all three.
    Another thing. The day we broke up, he kept saying how he loves talking to me, he even asked me for my help for computer software. Are u kidding me or what I’m thinking. I feel he should turn to his new girlfriend for help, and if she doesn’t know then go elsewhere.
    Yet, I still do love him, and in love with him.
    I don’t understand his behavior. Two girlfriends feel he still cares for me. I don’t know.
    Thank you.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Etta,

      when did you break up? Do you want to try the no contact rule? I think he’s used to being “controlling” with you..

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