When it comes to looking for signs that your ex wants you back I’m sure you’ve read a lot.
But, if you’re anything like me you’re probably left a little underwhelmed by what’s out there.
Often, I find that many of my peers make bold claims about “this or that” being a sign that an ex may want you back.
Unfortunately, they don’t have any type of proof to back up those claims.
I got tired of that so I decided to do some actual research and craft a guide that covered the actual signs that an ex wants you back.
And the best part is that this page is entirely predicated on real life examples of exes who have wanted their significant others back using my real coaching clients.
Are you ready?
The 7 Signs That Your Ex May Want You Back (Based On Real Life)
As stated above, I wrote this guide with a clear goal in mind.
Every sign that I am about to talk to you about is based on the real life experience of someone who has gotten their exes back.
What’s even better is that I’m not just going to tell you the sign but I am going to provide proof so that you can see and many times hear from the person that experienced that sign.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Below are all of the signs that an ex wants you back,
- Dramatic mood swings from positive to negative and back to positive again
- They are very responsive to the first text after a period of no contact
- They want to rush the process
- They reach out to you more than you reach out to them
- They can use a form of reverse psychology
- They become very jealous
- They start wanting to plan ahead for the future
Lets take a moment and dive a little more in-depth on these signs.
1. They Have Dramatic Mood Swings From Positive To Negative and Back To Positive Again
Anyone who has read my book knows I talk about “the pendulum” a lot.
The Pendulum (in this context): Is basically when a human being moves from one end of the “emotion” spectrum to the other and repeats the process several times.
Not only do people suffering from a breakup experience this phenomenon but exes who actually want you back experience it as well.
In order to understand why we must first talk a little about the science of breakups and how the brain processes them.
(If you aren’t the “science” type don’t worry. I’m not either but I promise this is super interesting and important to know.)
A few years ago researchers studying the brain of individuals going through a breakup found something fascinating.
When we experience the loss of a romantic partner we may actually experience cravings for that person very similar to a drug addict looking for a fix.
In other words, if an ex is trying to get you back they will probably act erratically and display these crazy mood swings.
Now, I know what you are thinking.
“Ok, that’s all very well and good but where’s the proof?”
The Case Study Of Exes Who Displayed Crazy Mood Swings
So, the first case study that I’d like to introduce to you today is actually a series of case studies.
One of my favorite things that to do on Ex Boyfriend Recovery is interacting with people in our Private Facebook Group which you get an opportunity to gain access to with a purchase of my best selling book.
It’s really cool because not only do I get to help people on a more personal level but I also get a lot of great information about the psychology behind “wanting an ex back.”
This was really hit home during an interview I did with a success story out of that very Facebook Group.
About 12 minutes into the interview you can see us talking about the hundreds (now thousands) of people in the group who are going through incredibly difficult times.
You’ll notice we were talking about this exact idea of the “pendulum swings” where a mood shifts from one end of the spectrum to the other and how common this behavior is.
Now, here’s the important thing to note.
Every single person in my Private Facebook Group wants their ex back.
Hence, my statement at the beginning of this section about this being a series of case studies.
2. They Are Very Responsive To The First Text After A Period Of No Contact
This one might need a little explanation.
If you aren’t already familiar with what the no contact rule is I suggest you read my epic guide on it. It’s a bit long but in my opinion it’s the most comprehensive guide online right now.
But for those of you who want a quick crash course,
The No Contact Rule = A Period Of Time Where You Ignore Your Ex
Now, I don’t want to go too in depth on it here since this article is about looking at the signs an ex wants you back and not about the no contact rule but we are pretty darn fond of the no contact rule.
After all, it’s yielded an insane amount of success stories and is a strategy that is present in almost every one of our success stories.
It’s kind of a big deal.
So, where am I going with this?
Well, we’ve noticed that a lot of our clients’ exes are very responsive during the first contact they have with their ex after a period of no contact.
Almost as if to say,
“Thank god… they finally contacted me. I was worried they forgot about me forever.”
Now, it isn’t the “be all, end all” but it’s certainly significant enough to not ignore.
The Case Study Of An Ex Who Was Super Responsive After A Period Of No Contact
For this one I’d like to bring in Jessy!
If you didn’t already know Jessy actually used our program to not only get her ex back but is now married to him.
She ended up agreeing to be interviewed by me so that I could see exactly what she did to win him back.
Well, after re-watching the interview I couldn’t help but notice that she yielded an amazing reaction to her first contact text message to him after the no contact rule.
Here’s the interview of us talking about it,
Notice how she talks about putting a lot of thought behind the text message that she sent to her ex and how she tapped into a happy memory.
Anyways, she sends the text and then has a meeting to go into at work and when she gets out of the meeting and looks at her phone she has a flood of text messages from him on her phone.
Bear in mind, that they get married a few months after this moment.
3. They want to rush the process
We live in the “now” age.
I’ve been recently watching Netflix’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events” which I’ll admit is aimed more towards kids than adults but I’m allowed to be a kid sometimes.
Anyways, there’s a character in the show that is obsessed with what’s “In” and what’s “Out.”
Basically, this character wants to be a part of all the “In” trends.
It’s funny to me because I am sure the author who wrote the books was making a commentary on how our society has become.
Not only are we so obsessed with what’s “IN” and “OUT” but after years of coaching individuals I believe we are also obsessed with “NOW.”
We want answers as soon as possible, right?
Before back in the Golden Age of the internet you used to have to perform a Google search on a big clunky computer.
Now we have all of these smart phones.
In other words, you can get answers sooner.
So, where am I going with this?
Well, if you find that your ex is trying to rush everything during the “courtship ritual” it might be a sign that they want you back.
Case Study Of Exes Who Rushed The Process
Can you do me a favor?
Can you take a look at this picture for me?
Now, without context this looks like a general success story and we have a lot of them scattered throughout this website.
But with context this success story can actually teach you something.
You see, this woman’s ex came back to her in record time. In fact, I think it might be the fastest success story we’ve ever had.
It’s pretty well known that it takes longer than 3 months to get an ex back if you are trying.
But this woman’s ex came back to her in days.
It was almost as if he was thinking,
“I’m just going to break up with her and move on with my life”
Only to immediately regret that decision and think,
“What have I done? I need to get her back as soon as possible.”
It’s a good sign if you see your ex consistently trying to rush the courtship ritual.
4. They Reach Out To You More That You Reach Out To Them
I think one of the things that sets Ex Boyfriend Recovery apart from some of our competitors is the fact that we encourage our clients to take detailed notes throughout the process.
In fact, there have been a lot of times where I have mentioned that it is a good idea to keep a tally of the amount of text messages your ex has sent to you and how many you have sent back.
We’ve even had some people on our Private Facebook Group (which you can gain access to through my best selling book) kick this idea into overdrive and detail everything.
We like recommending this since we feel sometimes some of the people we work with are too close to their situation to make impartial decisions.
However, if you map things out you can look at it from a very logical perspective and make the best decision without the blinders on.
Anyways, we noticed that as more and more of our clients started doing this the clients that tended to get their exes back were the ones with exes that reached out more to them than they reached out in return.
I feel a case study coming on.
The Case Study Of The Ex Who Can’t Stop Texting
I’m big on investment.
Now, just so we are clear I don’t mean investment from a monetary perspective. No, I’m talking about investment from a texting perspective.
It makes sense that an ex who texts you more than you text them is going to be more invested into a conversation than you, right?
Well, that was certainly the case for our client below,
I want you to notice how she started out kind of rough.
He wasn’t texting her at all so she had to text him first to open the lines of communication but once they were open…..
Watch out because he wouldn’t stop texting her.
This is a very good sign!
5. They Use A Form Of Reverse Psychology
No one really talks about this one and if I am being totally honest I would have never guessed it was a sign an ex would exhibit if I wasn’t looking specifically for case studies.
And yet there it is.
Staring us all right in the face.
So, how does it work?
Well, in order to fully grasp this we have to understand how people tend to operate.
It’s my opinion that we are all gods in our own minds.
We all need to feel wanted and loved by our significant others to feel satisfaction with our relationships. But what happens when we think our significant other no longer wants or loves us?
Well, that’s when we start to try to do things gain that status back.
Some will fight or scream…
Others will become distant as if to say, “you need to prove yourself to me.”
And every once in a while you’ll get someone who decides to use reverse psychology. To attempt to make you feel as if they don’t love or want you anymore.
Of course, they do this with the full intention of trying to make you chase them.
The Case Study Of An Ex Who Used Reverse Psychology
Like I said at the beginning of this particular sign. I wouldn’t even know this was a “sign” if it wasn’t for a case study.
It turns out that, that case study was an interview I did with Mary, a client who got her ex to unblock her and eventually beg for her back.
Around the 7 minute mark you’ll hear her talk about what happened when her ex reached out to her,
Her ex said some really interesting things to her,
“I need to bring your stuff back to you.”
“It looks like you’ve moved on.”
“Have a nice life”
Now, if you take all of these things at face value it appears as if her ex boyfriend was implying that she has moved on and that he was going to do the same.
Bear in mind, he really wants her back.
How do I know?
Because he literally told her he wanted her back AFTER THEY GOT BACK TOGETHER!
So, what is going on here?
Why would her ex say these things if they weren’t true?
Consider the graphic below,
When you go fishing how do you catch a fish?
Do you just throw your fishing line into the water and hope for the best?
No, often you have to outfit the fishing line with some type of bait to attract a fish into biting.
Well, in Mary’s case her ex was using these reverse psychology statement to bait her into showing some type of interest. You see, she was following my advice and utilizing the no contact rule which taps into a psychological theory called reactance.
Reactance: When someones behavior freedoms get threatened they react in a way to try to get that freedom back
So, in Mary’s case by ignoring her ex by using the no contact rule it prompted a reaction from her ex to get that freedom of talking to her back.
It just so happened that, that reaction was reverse psychology.
6. They Become Very Jealous
This is a big sign that your ex wants you back and I don’t think it’s rocket science.
Jealousy almost always imply that feelings are involved.
Really, just sit for a moment and try to think of an example where jealousy doesn’t involve feelings of some type.
I’ll give you a few basic examples.
I grow jealous when my readers prefer another breakup expert over me.
Feelings Involved = “Why don’t you like me???”
I grow jealous when I look at pictures of my wife and her ex boyfriends from years ago.
Feelings Involved = “I’m just nuts ok…”
Here’s my point.
If you are going on a date after your breakup and you notice your ex starts exhibiting the signs of jealousy that may be a sign that he wants you back.
But the proof is in the pudding as they say so let’s look at a case study to prove this.
The Case Study Of An Ex Who Became Jealous
Anyone who knows me really well knows I am a total nerd when it comes to Buffy The Vampire Slayer (don’t hate.)
Anyways, a few years ago, when I had first started my Private Facebook Group for my customers a member joined named Sarah Michelle. Of course, me being the Buffy fanatic I am I took to calling her “Buffy” after Sarah Michell Gellar who actually played Buffy
(I’m weird, I know.)
Anyways, the Sarah Michelle in our Private Facebook Group turned out to be a wiz when it came to making her ex want her back because not only did she get him back once but after he broke up with her again he came back once he saw she was dating someone new.
You can tell her hear the whole story in this interview I did with her,
I found it fascinating how after the second breakup her ex wanted nothing to do with her UNTIL she started dating someone new.
It’s almost like,
“Oh my goodness, someone else has her so I have to have her.”
This is jealousy at it’s finest.
And now that I think about it, it is also reactance at work.
7. They Start Wanting To Plan Ahead For The Future
Throughout Ex Boyfriend Recovery you might notice me talking about this concept of “future pacing.”
Well, let me give you some context. Most of the clients that I work with are trying everything they can to get their exes back.
Therefore, a lot of what I try to teach them is how to naturally build an attraction with an individual and one of the best ways to do that is to “future pace” in a conversation.
This is where you imagine a potential future together with them.
I’ll give you an example.
Let’s say you are talking to your ex and somewhere in a conversation with them you make this comment,
“Wouldn’t it be great to go to Paris?”
Upon hearing this your ex immediately imagines you and them together in Paris.
Even though this is all happening subconsciously your ex is reframing how they view you in their head.
Well, it turns out that “future pacing” works both way .
If your ex subtly slips in “potential futures” together that is a really good sign.
The Case Study Of The Ex Who Future Paced
I have a great case study for this one.
I draw a lot upon our Private Facebook Group but that tends to be where we have the most success stories happening because that’s where we spend most of our time interacting with our audience.
Also, I coach exclusively out of the Private Facebook Group so that’s where people tend to get the very best advice.
A few months ago my wife was working with a woman in the group and this woman was super disappointed with how the process was going.
In fact, at one point her ex went as far as saying,
“There’s no way that I’m ever going to get married.”
Pretty strong words…
Anyways, after a series of interesting events her ex ended up saying this to her last week,
“I’m never getting married… except maybe to you. I’d marry you.”
Do you see what happened there?
He essentially future paced the woman in our group.
He is imagining a future with his ex where they get married. Now, he didn’t say it outright but these things are never that cut and dry.
Often we operate in that grey area of the human psyche.
Here’s the point.
He says this to her and then ultimately gets back with her.
Sources And Citations