Warning Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Wants YOU Back

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

This may be shocking to hear, especially after your ex treated you so poorly after your breakup, but he may secretly want you back. One of the most asked questions I get on this site, aside from “how do I get my ex back” is “how do I know that my ex boyfriend actually wants me back?” In this article I am going to take an in-depth look at the male psyche and try to give you a resource that you can refer to if you want to know if he wants you back. No, this is not an exact science but I have found that time and time again an ex who is really missing his girl exhibits the signs laid out on this page.

Side Note: If you are an avid reader of my site you may be thinking that this article is similar to the signs your ex still loves you. While I will admit that this article has a similar preface it is taking a much different approach and it is my goal to make this as informative as possible.

The Rundown Of This Page

Did you know that an ex will exhibit certain signs when he begins to want you back? This page is going to explore those signs essentially giving you a checklist to watch out for. Now, I am not going to pretend to know everything (because I don’t.) There may be signs that I left out of this page that he could exhibit and there may be signs on this page that he could exhibit (but still doesn’t want you back.) However, what I will tell you is that I have a lot of experience dealing with these situations so the signs that you see listed below will most likely mean your ex is seriously regretting his decision to not be with you. I will be covering things like

  • Understanding the male mind after a breakup.
  • The importance of anger and how to understand it.
  • And how the no contact rule fits into all of this.

Lets talk a little about what this page will not cover now. I know that I am known as the “breakup guy.” I am proud to announce that I have helped multiple women get back with their exes. However, this page doesn’t really talk about that too much. It is assumed that you want your ex back but all this page is designed to do is help you understand if HE wants YOU back. Now, if your are past that and just want to know exactly what to do to get him back then I would like to direct you to Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, my E-Book. In there you can learn the exact steps you need to implement in order to get an ex back. I will leave a link below for you to click on but for now lets just dive right in to the warning signs ;).

Click Here For Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

The Male Mind After A Breakup

male mind

I thought a great way to kick off this particular article was with a look at the male mind after a breakup. As many of you know I am a male so I can give a very unique perspective on how to get your ex back by getting inside the mind of your guy. Contrary to popular belief men do actually have feelings. Now, I would say that 95% of the people reading this are women. At your core you are very emotional creatures. You aren’t afraid to cry when you need to cry or feel when you need to feel. I have learned that women are very in touch with their emotions.

Funny story actually, I remember having a friend in high school (she was a girl) that was literally all over the place emotionally. She wouldn’t be afraid to cry in class or do any other overemotional things. The funny part was how fast she would bounce back after these emotional outbursts. You would see her an hour later and she would be carrying on like nothing happened. It always struck me as bizarre but as I thought more and more about it I began to realize that women are much better at handling their emotions than men are.

Sure, a guy can cry after a breakup but what I am talking about here goes much deeper than that. Men shun true emotions after a breakup. I can remember my own breakup and how I handled it. I had been dating this girl for almost a year and at the end it was really… rocky. I remember after we broke up I felt completely free. It felt like weights had been lifted off of my shoulders. I remember thinking “this isn’t so bad.” Of course, a few days later I began to realize just how bad a breakup can be as the emotions hit me. I didn’t know what to do with them. I had never felt the type of things I was experiencing. (It was my first breakup ever.)

Every guy has a different way of handling a breakup. Me, I became a recluse for a while and decided to focus on myself. Other guys will create a defense mechanism that prevents any girl in the future from every penetrating it (George Clooney.) Of course, there is also the rebound guy that starts getting into new relationships immediately after your breakup.

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • Women know how to deal with emotions, men do not.
  • It can sometimes take a few days for the “emotions” to kick in for a guy after a breakup.
  • Every guy has a unique way of handling a breakup (defense mechanism, recluse, rebound.)

Anger Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

angry meme

Now we are diving into the meat of this article! There is a common misconception going around that I would like to take a moment to dispel.

Common Misconception- If your ex is angry it means he doesn’t want you back.

NOT TRUE!

In fact, I would be more worried if your ex wasn’t angry with you in some way shape or form. Also, you have to keep in mind that sometimes your ex could be doing a phenomenal job at hiding his anger so I will admit that it isn’t always easy to tell if your boyfriend is angry at you. Anyways, back to the point here. Hate isn’t the opposite of love, apathy is.

You see, any time he displays any form of anger aimed towards you (yelling, talking bad about you to his friends, talking bad about you to you) women take it personally. I can understand why they take it personally too, after all, no one likes to be called a bit$% or get yelled at in the street. Nevertheless, lets try to take a deeper look into what is going through the mind of a man who is doing these types of things.

I will not lie to you, I have gotten into a shouting match with a girlfriend before. I have yelled at the top of my lungs and said some really horrible stuff. While I am certainly ashamed of these things I think I have found a way to put these horrible memories to use, by helping you out.

Any time I have done anything like this I have been extremely “emotionally invested” with the person I was talking to. I cared about them on a very deep level and because of that deep level every action that they performed was magnified. I wasn’t yelling because deep down I hated the person or never wanted to be with them again. I yelled because I cared about them in some twisted way.

I know, I know it is really twisted but that is literally how a guys mind works. So, that is the first sign I would say that you should look for to determine if your ex wants you back.

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • If your ex is angry with you it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you back.
  • It can be tricky to tell if an ex is angry with you because some of them do a good job at hiding it.
  • Usually anger means your ex is emotionally invested in you.

How The No Contact Rule Can Work As A Warning Sign

no contact meme

If you are an avid reader of this website then you know that I am a huge fan of the no contact rule. In fact, sometimes I feel like a broken record repeating the same advice over and over. No contact rule this, no contact rule that. It may shock you to learn that the NC rule can actually be used as a test to see if your ex wants you back.

Men in general like to think very highly of themselves. However, when you add in the fact that he has a girl wanting him his ego can get really inflated. One of my best friends described this phenomenon perfectly. He would tell me that he used to go to the gym to please girls. He wanted a “hot” body so that girls would fall over themselves just to have a chance to be with him. He says that he remembers going to the gym and being pretty arrogant because he had the “fitness model” body. Now, keep in mind at this point my friend didn’t have a girlfriend this was just how he saw himself.

Of course, a few years later when he was in a relationship with a girl his trips to the gym were completely different. He walked around thinking he was a king. He was “preselected” by women and it gave him an ego you wouldn’t believe. In his mind he could do no wrong. He didn’t even have to work out anymore. A man feels like an absolute god when he knows there is a girl that likes him.

Now, lets apply this knowledge to your ex. At this point, it doesn’t matter who broke up with who. You want him back and chances are he knows it. This fact alone will inflate his ego to an extraordinary level because in his mind he has you wrapped around his finger.

BUT

no contact baby memeWhen you add in the no contact rule suddenly the dynamic changes. He is expecting you to call him a million times during the breakup, do the emotional dance and even get on your knees and beg for him to come back to you. Only if you do a strict no contact rule he begins to wonder why you aren’t doing what you are supposed to do in begging for him back. Soon, he begins to worry that you have moved on so he reaches out to you, only you don’t respond.

Oh, now he is getting angry. In his mind he is this god who can have any woman he wants (because he had you) and you have the audacity to ignore his call? Anger on his part during the no contact rule is the next warning sign. I know it sounds crazy. How can an upset ex be a good thing? Again, it means he is emotionally invested in what you think and do.

There are a few things I would still like to point out though. The warning sign here is only shown if HE initiates contact during the no contact period. So, he has to call you/text you/facebook you/email you and then YOU have to ignore him. His reaction to you ignoring him is the sign for him wanting you back. The more upset he gets the more your value rises to him. I know that sounds weird, I mean, I am basically saying you want your ex to get upset. However, lets look at it on a logical level.

If he is this upset by your freeze out during the no contact rule we know that it means he is emotionally invested in you. It’s important that you don’t engage him because you want the dynamic to be that you are in control at all times. Him always having to work to get you will kind of turn him on a little bit because guys always want what they can’t have. Also, if he realizes that he is constantly chasing or having to work to get you your value will raise in his eyes. Instead of being the crazy ex girlfriend you will be the one that got away.

Pssstt… (Men always want the one that got away!)

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • In order for this warning sign to manifest you have to implement the no contact rule which you can learn more about here.
  • Men have big egos to start with but when they know they are “preselected” by girls their ego shoots through the roof.
  • If your ex boyfriend gets upset at you during the NC rule for not responding to him it means he is emotionally invested.
  • The more upset he gets during the NC period the more your value will rise to him.

Moving On A Little Quickly Now Aren’t We?

moving on meme

Men deal with breakups in all kinds of different ways. I actually alluded to this at the beginning of the article but I really didn’t go too far in-depth because I knew I was going to be talking about it here. Well, perhaps I should be a little more specific, I am going to be talking about one particular way that men deal with a breakup that is a surefire warning sign that he is not over you yet and may want you back in the future.

I hear a lot of stories every single day. As I am writing this article I am looking at my un-moderated comments. Shockingly, it is kind of low as there are only 33 I haven’t answered yet. Now, I can make you one guarantee about these 33 comments. When I do get to them later tonight there will be one or two that sound like this:

Chris, my ex and I dated for three years. We broke up a week ago but I wish I had found your site earlier because I have made so many mistakes that you say not to make. I called him too much and basically begged to get him back. I am afraid I scared him off because now he is dating this other girl….

Every single day I literally have a comment that looks like that. While I am absolutely thrilled to be getting these types of comments so early in this sites history I sometimes feel like some people don’t read what I am recommending and just decide to comment. But that is besides the point.

The point is that I chose this particular type of comment to discuss in this section because it is a potential warning sign that your ex boyfriend is not over you. As I said, every guy has a different way of dealing with a breakup. This particular type of guy immediately goes on the prowl looking for a woman to take away his pain.

Instead of doing the smart thing and letting a certain amount of time to go by, so he can heal, he tries to replace the hole in his heart with someone else, someone new. In the relationship industry we like to call this a “rebound relationship.” That is your sign. If he very quickly moves on after your relationship it is going to hurt you no doubt. However, you need to take a step back and look at things in a more “big picture” perspective. In most cases, rebound relationships don’t last. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the article I linked to above.

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • Men have different ways of dealing with breakups.
  • One of the most common ways is to go on the prowl for girls to fill the hole that you left in his heart.
November 8, 2016

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (1,217)

  1. Julie - 0

    Julie

    My ex and I were married with kids for almost 12 years. He left because he wanted freedom. We no longer live in the same state since the break up. I found out he started dating someone within two months of the break up. It’s been three years and he’s still with her but they don’t live together. He recently started contacting me again and said he only wants to be friends because he needs me. But we have had conversations with very heavy sexual content which he said just happened, and was the one that imitated it. I know his girlfriend is the rebound chick, but also, the grass was greener at the time chick as well. I think he secretly wants to get back with me but won’t even admit it to himself for fear of the problems we did have in our relationship in the past. I am not the same person I was then and I know it would be different now. I don’t want to waste my time and have him break my heart again even though he said he never stopped loving me. But what he hasn’t said is that he wants me back. How do know if this is even worth exploring?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Julie,

      you have kids, it’s inevitable that you would see each other. Let him invest more for you than you for him. If he’s being sexual, dont go too far. If he really wants to be back with you then let him work for it.

  2. Auly - 0

    Auly

    Hi Chris!
    The title suits to my situation but unfortunately my ex is the one who wants me back so bad. And i think this driving me crazy.

    Its been 2 years ago when we were dating. But only lasted a few months because he texted me every single minute while we always met each other at class. I felt bored already but i tried to be patient. Until one day, i was going to meet a foreign guy whom i have talked with before on the internet. He was visiting the city i worked in and offered me for a meet up. Personally and honestly, i never thought of this (foreign) guy to be my boyfriend because he’s typically a ‘quite’ guy and didn’t catch my attention at all. But since he lived in my country for 2 years, i’d really love to meet him. So, i told my (then) boyfriend that i would like to meet a friend and asked for a direction. He asked me every single questions about my friend and i answered it truthfully. He did tell me the directions but he also told the other people about me meeting a foreign guy (which is like a negativity in our culture). I was completely upset and ‘exploded’ until a few hours later i broke up with him. I also promised to myself that it was okay not meeting my friend, but i had to break up with him.

    A few days later, a co-worker said she would accompany me to see the foreign guy. And i still managed to see him, and he was so quite the entire conversation.

    A few months after breaking up, i still let my ex on my social medias to peek how am i doing on my personal life. But i caught him stalking my social media called Path where you could get a notification whenever somebody visited your profile. He wasn’t only visiting my profile but also giving ‘like’ to my posts of 1 year ago (when we’re still dating)! Thought i had enough about letting him know about my personal life, then i deleted him everywhere.

    2 years passed and my bestfriend from Uni told me he kept asking about me. Jokingly told my bestfriend he’s saving money to get married and when my bestfriend asked him with whom, he said he would wait for me first to get married. Which scares me more, what would happen if i still manage to be friends with him? And how do i completely disappear from him?

    If you could give me advices on how to avoid him, i might think twice before commiting suicide.

    Thank you

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Auly,

      why are you afraid? And why are you going to be friends with him if you are going to avoid him?

  3. Maai - 0

    Maai

    Hey.
    Hey.
    Ummm.. I would be really glad, if you replied to this message.
    Well after the breakup my ex acted “crazy” you know like updating status and tagging many people saying he is very excited. We broke up on June. But the next month a friend of his who did a lot just to keep us together said hey via Facebook. I did not reply to him. Again in August this Friend of his again said hey to me via Facebook. I did not reply to him. After like two to three days his other friend tagged my ex with some girl in a post to make it official. But again his friend who said hey to me via fbto me talked via Instagram after like two weeks of that post which was updated by his other friend.
    This friend wished me as it was my birthday. I replied to him next day. Once i replied he said can we talk via Viber. I said I don’t use it. He said he was sorry for not replying to me when I texted to him during the break up time. And asked me whether I was mad at him. I said no and its ok. And he said he just wanted to wish me as my ex said its my birthday and said bye.
    After like 3 days I said I am sorry for being crazy weirdo and wished him luck for his o’level. He said it’s ok he understand and said thanks. Asked me what’s up and asked me whether I am dating. I said I am dating my subjects. And he asked me how’s me and whether I have moved on? I said I am good. And Ignored the move on question. He started talking his girlfriend that they broke up and eventually got back together after like week. I said yeah nice and things happenen for a good reason. And I said see iam mature? He said yeah you are and asked whether I broke up with my ex cause I am immature? I said no i don’t know. And started to tease me on topic about maturity of me. And said bye.
    The next day , the friend who tagged my ex and some girl , gave some likes on two instagrsm photo which I posted weeks ago. After like Weeks, since there was no news from my ex or his friends I send a photo of someone to the friend whom talked to me saying seems like his duplicate. When I sent that his first reply was is that my dad in law? I said no but , looks like you. He said it’s not him.
    Very recently his friend who tagged my ex with some girl wrote my ex and my together name as his nick in a post which he shared asking for his nick names. My ex even shared a post which says “maybe we will meet again and start all over”
    After like 2 to 3 days of this post of my ex, again the friend who talked to me said hey through instagrsm. I replied to it after like 6 hours. He started a conversation and said whether I use Viber? I said no. He said hows me and he broke up with his girlfriend. I said what’s with me that you and girlfriend broke up. He said he thoughts to text me as he thinks his girlfriend did to him what my ex did to him and asked me what happene d with me and ex for a break up? And whether I still want him back? I said I don’t know. For More information text my ex. He was like Tell him.
    When I did not answer that question, he changed the topic and said he can share anything with him now. I know he was referring “anything” to talk about my ex. Cause that Friend did alot to make us to be as a couple.
    So I answer ed why? Just to not show how needy I am. He replied cause he his single and can be there to text me. I said eww, no way. He said why did you say eww? I said what’s your aim of talking to me? He said he just want to text me cause I texted alot at the break up time with him. But won’t text me again cause I misunderstood.
    But later after some time I said sorry for being rude. He said I am assuming stuffs. The next day I said what’s up to him? He said nothing much and text him through viber if I want to talk to him cause this chat log is boring as hell. I said bye then.after like few days I sent a thumbs up to my ex accidentally. But no reply from him still. He still show off how chill life he is having by being very updated about his whereabouts on social network. He started being like this after our break up.
    And recently i said tell my ex that i miss my ex to his friend whom i talked. He said ok and changed his instagram id name and deleted his recent Post on instagram. After like a week , this friend of his changed his instagram id to his original name and replied heyy to me via instagram
    Well all of his tried alot to make us together since the beginning to the end.
    So do you think this friend would talk to me again and whether my ex and I would have a chance to be together? The post of that official thing is no more on facebook.
    We were together for 0a year and both of us are 16 years old.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Maai,

      when was the last time you talked to that friend and when was the last time you talked to your ex? I think you should stop talking to that friend, it’s not helping you..

  4. Samantha - 0

    Samantha

    My bf And I broke up 3 months ago, we were together for a year. He has blocked me on everything but his friends tell me he talks about me all the time not in a good way though. He seems to have a lot of anger towards me and I’m not sure why. His friends tell me I’m still on his mind. I don’t understand what he’s trying to do.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Samantha,

      do you want to move or try again? Why did you break up? even if it has been months since the break up, if its not focused in improving yourself and in actively posting in social media, that’s not a no contact period

  5. Jane - 0

    Jane

    Hi, my boyfriend and I split up on Friday (4 days ago) we have been having a rough time of it lately & Friday was particularly bad. It seemed he’d been getting at me all day and I finally snapped and ordered him out of my car. I went back practically straight away but he refused to get in. I tried again and he told me to go f myself. I drove home & when he eventually got back he began packing his things. He said I’m a c-word, that he despises me & that he’d been kidding himself for the past few weeks that it could work. This has happened before and I usually beg him to stay or I beg him to come talk to me after. He literally took everything. He messaged me on Saturday around 5.30 asking if I was in & when I asked why he said he’d forgotten some things (jeans, dad’s hedge trimmer & small tv) I told him I’d take them to my mums for him as I couldn’t see him but he told me to keep the stuff. I messaged the next day apologising about my behaviour & he didn’t rePly. He messaged yesterday asking about a parcel that had been delivered &when I asked if he’d talk to me he said no, that he was done & that nothing would change his mind. I felt so upset I blocked him and deleted our messages. We were together just over 2years. Will he call or is it over?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Jane,

      he’s not going to call if he’s annoyed.. are you going to try the no contact rule?

  6. Nicole - 0

    Nicole

    Hi y’all!
    So my bf broke up with me in Oct out of no where.
    I did all the mistakes, begging, stalking, pleading, calls and texts.
    I failed the NC twice.
    I am currently on it now.
    He has since then sent me random texts: a picture, and a really weird text.
    I didn’t respond.
    I have worked on myself since the breakup. I’m. working out, going out with friends, focusing on school.
    I got a new hair cut and even went on 5 dates.
    I feel really good and have come to terms with the breakup. I also realize that we may or may not get back together and I will be okay.
    I feel good now, no as emotional.
    I still miss him and love him.
    I asked him today for my stuff back.
    He got mad! I didn’t think he would be so upset.
    It’s been 2 months since the break up.
    He told me to fuck off and goodbye.
    Is this a good thing that he’s still angry?
    What should I do now?

    Thanks.
    Nicole

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Nicole,

      How long was the relationship and how many days are you in the nc now?

    • Nicole - 0

      Nicole

      Hi Amor,

      We were together for 4 years.
      I am in 14 days no contact.
      I plan for nc till Feb.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Ah, just 14 days.. yes, it can still be a good sign that he’s angry. It’s his way of trying to make you reply.

  7. Justine - 0

    Justine

    Boyfriend broke up with me on November 30. I’ve been trying to no contact rule but I saw him at the gym yesterday and caved. I asked him to come over and he said he would let me know. I sat there for 5 hours waiting for that to happen and he never texted or anything. I then find out he’s at a bar he hates with someone he isn’t necessarily fond of. Me being stupid, I texted him and let him know I’m there if he needs a ride to which no reply. I feel so stupid for thinking either of those would be a good idea and I’m not sure what to do. I have this note written out explaining how he hurt me and I just want to be friends, and frankly I’m kind of over the fact that we’re over. I know it’s probably best if I keep that note to myself right? I just feel the need to get it out that I deserve more respect than a no reply and an “I’ll let you know.”
    Please help 🙁

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Justine,

      yup, don’t give that note. That’s more chasing. If you want, restart the no contact rule. And really make it seem you’re moving on.

  8. Stephanie - 0

    Stephanie

    Hi.

    My ex ex cheated and left me for the girl he cheated on me with, unfortunately I can’t do the NC rule as we have 4 kids together(been together for almost 10 years). At first when he left he didn’t call or came to see the kids for 2-3 weeks and then he started calling and coming to see the kids and took them with him a few times which caused a lot of arguments because I didn’t want her around my kids because I felt like it’s not good for them right now as they’re having a very difficult time with the fact their dad is gone and he should give them the time to get over it before he brings them around her but he didn’t listen and did it anyway which caused a lot more problems with the kids who are obviously not happy to see their dad with someone else than mom but recently he agreed to come see them at the house(which really surprised me and thought it was strange of him since he’s so stubborn and only wants his way). Despite everything that happened and him cheating I kinda understand, he got laid off and money was a huge caused of stress for both of us which in turn caused a lot of arguments between us and I think he felt depressed and like he wasn’t good enough for me and the kids. I do still love him and yes I want him back and even though I couldn’t do the NC rule I never told him I wanted him back(however I think my kids might have told him a few things like I miss him and I wish he was home with us because everytime we have an argument he blurts out “I don’t want to be with you” and the last time he told me that I asked him why he always says that since it got nothing to do with the conversation and he didn’t say anything. Another thing I forgot to mention, after he left he was really nasty to me and acted as if I was the one who cheated and left him, he also kept denying she was his girlfriend and kept saying there was no relationship even though he knew that I knew she was living there sleeping in his bed, up until recently and he also talked to our kids about him not living with us anymore but he told them it was OUR decision(it wasn’t mine and I didn’t have any say about anything) and he also told my daughter he’s not coming home because mommy is mad at him after my daughter told him that mommy wish daddy was home. As for him being nasty it’s mainly when there’s people with him when we’re talking on the phone and he also act very impatient with me even though I’m being nice to him, also when he needs help with something he comes to me instead of asking his girlfriend which I told him many times it should be her doing it not me.. sorry for the long comment and I’m sure I forgot to mention other things that are important but please help I’m confused. Why is he acting like I’m the one who cheated and left and why would he be mad at me? Because when he left I didn’t beg for him to stay and told him I didn’t want him back? Another thing, when he’s using his phone to watch videos on YouTube he’s still using my account so when I went in “search” to type something I saw that he listened to the song “Life after you” so it makes me wonder could he be afraid to tell me he made a mistake and regret everything he’s done or he really don’t want to be with me? Because when he tells me he doesn’t want to be with me or he doesn’t care about me is only during arguments.

    Please help! Thank you
    Stephanie

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Stephanie,

      he probably relates you to negativity because of the arguments and he’s tired of it..he’s anger can be more of a defense mechanism or a way for him to still have a sense of power..

      You can still try nc, it will be limited..check this:

      Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together

  9. Sasha - 0

    Sasha

    My ex of 4 years and 7 months broke up with me for cheating. I have to say, I never meant to do it, but I felt alone and weak. So it happened. We were on and off until I realized he had a girlfriend. I called him out and he cut all contact with me. I became obsessive. He tells me he wants a future with me, yet he gets with this chick instead? One night I went on a texting rampage and he responded with a hurtful but to an extent truthful message. To out it short, he’s hurting still. And he’s drinking himself to sleep. Fast forward to a few months later. I sent a friend to his door because I was afraid of being sent away. His family left a message suggesting I “get over it like he did” but he has yet to speak to me. I stopped talking to him a month from then. I decided to poke him on Facebook and he poked me back. This went on for a few days and then deleted my poke. I sent him a link with all of our Facebook history on it (the date we met, got engaged, photos everything) and he blocked me from messaging him. I noticed that he’ll block me from messaging him multiple times, but later on unblock me. What should I do? I’ve been planning to message him and say I won’t be chasing him anymore. I’ve been really hurting. Do I send the message? Why is he acting like this? Are these signs that he does want to keep in contact?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sasha,

      maybe he’s open on being friends.. If you’re going to restart the no contact rule, do 45 days and act as if you’re moving on..continue the routine you started during nc even after nc..

  10. Amber - 0

    Amber

    Ok so my ex and I broke up 5 years ago, he wants to get drinks/ dinner this Sunday when I said I might not be able to make it his response was “aww damnit” followed by “Id love to see you”. I dont know if hes lying, playing me, just wants a booty call or if I should go or bail….. I asked him where he wanted to meet he replied ill figure that out… I dont know what to think.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Amber,

      did you really mean 5 years or 5 days?

  11. Beth - 0

    Beth

    My ex and I were together for 4 years. I haven’t moved on and I cry every night because I miss him. I don’t call him. I am very confused I don’t know what to do, my ex and Ibroke up 2 months ago, we haven’t talked since then. But during those 2 months he called me 3 times and they were late night calls telling me he missed me and that he doesn’t want me back but I know that was because he was hurt and trying to hurt me tooo. I never called him unless it concerned about our line together which I was getting off. Also other times he called was about him getting his bike back , which never happened. This happened twice. Barely last night he called me late night again telling me about a dream he had, ( That I was with anoher guy) then he asked me what time I am off of work I told him and he said he is off at 8 , that he wants to talk to me. I don’t know what to do, I am scared and sad . It will be the first time we sad eacother after the break up .

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi beth,

      why did you break up? Talk to him first, and then update us

  12. Sandy Acosta - 0

    Sandy Acosta

    Okay, so…..my bf broke up with me a week ago and went to move in with his mom but he still left some stuff in my room. I was so heart broken for the first 3 days after the break up. We been together for 2 years and a half. The fourth day he asked if he can come over to pick up his stuff, I said its okay but I’m not gonna be there since he has the keys I really don’t need to be there. He said he felt weird going there because of my family but I told him they don’t care. I did a mistake and stayed, he came and we ended up going to the movies, after that we came back in my room and he kissed me so it led to sex. When he left I got mad because he said it wasn’t suppose to happen and he still needs more time? The next day he said he forgot something and he wanted me to be there again with the same excuse that he feels weird if I’m not there. He cane by but this time we didn’t do anything except hug and he took me to Dennis to eat. Then I told him he needs to really get all his stuff out of my room because he can’t just be coming over like that! I told him I can’t see him and it makes it so hard for me to move on. He said true. I do want him back and i want to apply the NC rule but it’s so hard whenkeeps coming by for his things. What is going on with him!!! Also I don’t text him, he usually does but it’s to tell me he’s coming over for his stuff.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sandy,

      it’s ok to talk about his stuff but don’t go out with him to eat if you’re there when he’s getting his stuff and don’t reply if he texts for small talk. You should be focused in yourself, healing and improving during the no contact rule.

  13. Julie Sanders - 0

    Julie Sanders

    My boyfriend of 8 years just told me he needed space after a big argument. He left and is staying with a friend. He keeps wanting to talk and text everyday for the past 4 days since he left. I think we talk more now then during the relationship. He says he is still deciding what he wants to do, stay together or move on. Today he wants to meet in person. 1. Is that a good sign? 2. How much time should I give him to make up his mind? 3. Is he just leading me on with the constant talking so that I don’t drift while he is deciding? 4. Is the constant talking making the maybe pending break easier on him?

    Any insight would be helpful. This is a new area to me.

    TIA

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Julie,

      it’s just been days.. It’s normal that he’s still missing you. Go, and talk to him.. Try to talk about what you should do and not do to make the relationship work

  14. Sangeetha D - 0

    Sangeetha D

    Mine is a long distant relationship. We recently broke up. Let’s say I’m implementing this No contact rule. What if he thinks that I’m fine and moved on, and doesn’t call me again?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sangeetha,

      so, do you mean he wants you to be sad for him to get back with you?

  15. Etta - 0

    Etta

    Hi. My ex of almost four months just broke up with me, because of, according to him, another woman he met during the same event we attended though on different days.
    However, during that phone call, he went completely left field by asking me “what is your favorite food” and what is your favorite wine”? Though I answered him, I kept wondering to myself what in the world has those things to do with anything.
    Anyway, during our relationship, his mother and I, because I’ve witnessed her controlling, manipulative behavior, had words and now he wants me to mend things between us, which I’m refusing to do. The last I heard from him was past Thursday evening, we talked about it, he asked when am I calling his mother, I gave him an off hand quick answer, he said he wanted me to call that day, I refused, telling him I was going out, getting ready to walk out the door. All of a sudden he barked “WHERE ARE YOU GOING!” I took offense that he has no right by asking ” Why are you questioning me? I never questioned you, etc.” He refuted by saying I never had to because he always told me which is true.
    Anyway, the next day Friday, I received 3 calls, no voicemail. One was his mother, at least her name popped up, the other two from him, again no voicemails. I refused to answer all three.
    Another thing. The day we broke up, he kept saying how he loves talking to me, he even asked me for my help for computer software. Are u kidding me or what I’m thinking. I feel he should turn to his new girlfriend for help, and if she doesn’t know then go elsewhere.
    Yet, I still do love him, and in love with him.
    I don’t understand his behavior. Two girlfriends feel he still cares for me. I don’t know.
    Thank you.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Etta,

      when did you break up? Do you want to try the no contact rule? I think he’s used to being “controlling” with you..

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