By Chris Seiter

Updated on February 1st, 2021

A few days ago I got an idea…

The Idea: Wouldn’t it be cool if someone had created some sort of graphic or article dissecting exactly what “the perfect” Facebook profile looks like when it comes to getting an ex boyfriend back through social media?

So, I decided to look and see if anyone had done anything like that before.

And while I did find some posts on “the perfect” Facebook profile picture I didn’t find anything directly relating to exes.

That’s when I thought to myself,

“What an opportunity!”

I could be the first person to ever put together something like this directly relating to exes.

And now here we are!

Of course, before I get started I want to make one thing very clear.

This post is only meant to serve as a guide to help you get your ex boyfriend back using Facebook.

Chances are very high that you won’t be able to get him back just using this guide. You are most likely going to have to use it in combination with the other guides or books featured on this site.

What We Know To Be True About Facebook And Exes

the turth

As you can imagine I have done quite a bit of research on how to utilize Facebook to get an ex back and as a result of that research I have learned some amazing things.

But the one statistic you always will hear me throwing out there is the fact that nearly 9 exes out of 10 have admitted to Facebook stalking their ex girlfriends.


And even though this pains me to admit I am afraid that I have been guilty of this myself.

So, what does that mean?

Well, it means that the odds are in your favor that your ex boyfriend is going to be looking at your Facebook profile from time to time. Now, when I explain this to most women who come to Ex Boyfriend Recovery they immediately freak out and begin fearing this fact.

But that’s the wrong way to look at the situation.

Instead of freaking out what you really need to do is look at this like an opportunity.

You know the odds are in your favor that your ex boyfriend will come snooping around your Facebook profile so the best way is to prepare for that.

Now, I can already hear the people in the background doubting my words saying,

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“But Chris… what if my ex doesn’t look at my profile. What if he unfriends me?”

Ah, I am glad you brought that up.

Let’s tackle the fear that he won’t look at your profile first.

But What If He Doesn’t Look At My Facebook Profile?

Here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery we recommend a little something called “The No Contact Rule.”

Now, if you’ve missed the memo then allow me to educate you.

The no contact rule is based on a simple theory in psychology called “reactance.”

Reactance basically states that human beings have certain freedoms and when they feel those freedoms are being threatened they will react in a way to most likely try to re-obtain that freedom.

The no contact rule is a perfect example of this.


Because with the no contact rule you are depriving your ex of the freedom of talking to you and he is more likely to react in a way to try to get that freedom back.

So, let’s do a quick hypothetical situation.

Let’s say that the two of us dated in the past and you were using the no contact rule on me.

Knowing what we know about psychological reactance we know that I am probably going to react in a way to get you to talk to me. However, before I react I am probably going to look at your Facebook profile out of the fear that something bad happened to you and that’s the reason you are ignoring me.

So, the thinking goes like this,

Facebook Im Thinking

This fear that something happened to you causes me to check on your Facebook profile and if I see that you are alive and well and that you are ignoring me then it makes me that much more likely to try to illicit a response from you.

But What If He Unfriended Me On Facebook?

I think I have told this story multiple times in articles, podcasts and even videos.

And here I am about to tell it again.

Just because your ex boyfriend unfriended you on Facebook doesn’t necessarily mean he won’t still try to see what you are up to.

Curiosity Is The Lust Of The Mind – Thomas Hobbes

Sometimes curiosity as to what your ex significant other is up to can be so great that you will actively seek out a mutual friend who can let you see what’s going on.

Don’t believe it can happen.

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Well, that’s what one of my wife’s best friends did to her ex. You see, she got so curious as to what her ex boyfriend was up to (and since she unfriended him on Facebook) she decided to ask my wife to log on to his Facebook page (since she was still friends with him) so she could spy.

The morale of the story is that just because your ex boyfriend unfriended you on Facebook don’t assume that he still wont snoop around.

Instead, prepare like he will snoop around.

But that begs an interesting question.

What’s the best way to prepare?

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The Strategy Behind A Perfect Facebook Profile

I spent a good week preparing this part of the article since it’s arguably the most important.


I wanted to write something that would be life changing for you in how you approach your own Facebook profile and after a lot of planning I think I came up with a perfect way to format this.

You are aware of what an acronym is, right?

Well, Google defines an acronym as,

Screen Shot 2016-08-01 at 5.40.48 PM

Well, after much thought I decided that the best way to deconstruct the perfect Facebook profile was to use an acronym.

You see, after researching and using my own personal preferences which tend to align with the average male I have come up with an acronym to describe the “perfect Facebook profile” when it comes to getting an ex back.

What is the acronym?


B- Beautiful


A- Active


S- Sexy


E- Evolutionary

Now, obviously I just gave you the key to understanding a perfect Facebook profile so that’s all you need to hear about, right?

Eh… not exactly.

I can already hear the screams saying,



Calm down they are coming.

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B – Beautiful

Do you remember your high school days?

Hmm… actually now that I think about it I believe that some of you may still be in high school.

If so, then you will probably really connect with what I am about to say.

If not, then you are in the same boat I am in,

A trip down memory lane!

Well, I remember my high school days very well. You see, I graduated from my high school in 2008.


I’m an old man.

Anyways, back then Facebook was just starting to really pick up steam and I remember when I first signed up for it I went on a mad dash adding all the people I could in my high school.


But there was one person who I didn’t add.

Let’s just call her “The Unicorn.”

Every high school has one.

She is a girl that is so beautiful all the men in the school are afraid to talk to her.

Now, why didn’t I send her a friend request?

I was scared of being rejected.

Look, back then I was here,

ladder graphic

And she was here,

ladder graphic

I wasn’t prepared to step outside my “ecosystem.”

I just remember admiring the unicorn from afar.


“Wow, her profile picture is so beautiful.”

Ah.. and then there were the daydreams.

Men are funny that way. We will admire a girl from far away if we think she is out of our league and have all sorts of daydreams about her.

I certainly did about my wife.

Little Known Fact: Did you know that I met my wife on Facebook?

I remember it so vividly because she had this amazing profile picture.

It was the kind of profile picture that drew me in.

That gave me these intense daydreams about her.

What it would be like to hold her in my arms…

To kiss her…

To cuddle in bed with…

To hold hands with…

You get the picture.

I mean, look how stunning this woman is,

Screen Shot 2016-08-01 at 6.34.51 PM

(These are photos taken from our wedding found on our photographers website: here)

Here’s my point.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

This is especially true when it comes to your Facebook profile picture.

You need a beautiful Facebook profile picture.

A picture so impressive that you can become that “unicorn” I was talking about.

The one that gives me daydreams by simply looking at you.

I want you to have the best Facebook profile picture imaginable and this is going to require you to do something that you are probably going to be scared to do.

Hire a professional!

Now, legally I am not allowed to show you any examples from the people on this website.

But I can show you how much of a difference a professional photographer can make by using myself as a “crash test dummy.”

So, if you were to ask me whether or not a woman should hire a professional photographer for her Facebook profile picture a couple of years ago I would have probably given you a bewildered look and screamed,


But that was an ignorant response from someone who had never had a professional photographer take his picture in his life.

It wasn’t until I actually had a professional come and take my picture that I realized how much of a difference they make.

Hmm… this would be easier to just show you.

Ok, here is a picture of me (taken by me) trying to act all cool for the ladies,


Pretty bad, right?

But at the time I took this picture of myself I remember thinking how good it looked.

But that thought was promptly stopped pretty much the second I saw my wedding photos taken by an expensive wedding photographer,

Jennifer Chris W-209 copy

Do you see the difference between the two pictures?

It’s not even in the same league.

But this begs an interesting question.

What does your profile picture need to look like when it comes to your ex boyfriend?

What Your “Profile Picture” Needs To Look Like

The name of the game is to make yourself look as beautiful as possible in the most natural way as possible.

Of course, you also have to take into account that the picture you use needs to be “high quality.”

In other words, you can’t be using low quality pictures taken from your phone.

Don’t get me wrong, some phones take excellent pictures and there is certainly a time and place for phone pictures BUT this is your profile picture we are talking about and you want your profile picture to tell a story.

A story of the beautiful ungettable girl!

So, what are some examples of what that looks like?


Now, are you seeing a common theme behind these pictures?

How about the fact that these photos were all taken by a professional photographer?

How about the fact that these women all seem ungettable?

They seem like they can have any guy they want.

And it’s almost like they are making love to the camera.

They are drop dead gorgeous. So gorgeous in fact that they look like models.

Hell, I am pretty sure if someone with a profile picture like this friend requested me on Facebook I would turn them down because their profile picture looks fake. It looks like it’s copy and pasted off of a magazine.

That is what you are going for with a profile picture.

You want something that makes men captivated and in order to accomplish that I am afraid you are going to have to pull out all the stops.

Another thing you will notice all of the pictures above have in common is that they are taken outside. Location seems to matter.

I have seen a lot of cool pictures outside in the woods.

In a bed of flowers…

In the city…

I guess the point I am trying to make here is that your profile picture should never be taken in your room.

Take mine as an example,

Profile Picture

This picture was taken outside on a beach.

And I am pretty sure if it was taken in a small room in my house it wouldn’t look half as cool.

Recap Of What To Do:

  • You need a high quality photo that makes you look beautiful/ungettable
  • Your photo needs to tell a story.
  • The story = I can have any man I want
  • Hire a photographer
  • Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone
  • Location matters (pictures outside can be awesome)

What A Beautiful Facebook Profile Picture Will Accomplish

self five

So, now that you know what your beautiful Facebook profile picture needs to look like lets turn our attention to what it’s supposed to accomplish.

You’ll notice a few amazing things begin to happen when you post your new Facebook profile.

  • Your ex boyfriend may start reaching out to you more
  • Other men will start giving you a lot more attention
  • Your ex boyfriend may start to get jealous

Let’s take each one of these one by one.

Your Ex Boyfriend May Start Reaching Out To You More

When I was in college I was walking with my buddy after class and we were stopped by a very beautiful girl.

She seemed to know my buddy and the two of them talked for maybe a minute and then went their separate ways.

Of course, wanting the details I asked him a very simple question,

“So, what’s the story there?”

He went out of his way to tell me that she had a massive crush on him the year before but he wasn’t ever that interested in her because he thought she was a little fat.

But the girl that I just witnessed him talking to was not fat.

She looked exactly how you would want a girl to look.

And I’ll never forget what he said to me next,

“I think I may have made a mistake not going after her.”

And from that point on he chased her.

You may experience a similar phenomenon.

A new picture…

A new look…

A new light your ex boyfriend has never seen you in may cause him to start chasing you a bit more.


Because in his mind he is going to be panicking.

He will be thinking,

“Sh*t I made a massive mistake letting her go.”

Other Men Will Start Giving You A Lot Of Attention

I can’t tell you how many times I recommend to women to post an amazing picture like this only to get a response like this,

I did what you said Chris and I wasn’t quite prepared for how many men would actually like my picture or comment about how hot I am.

Now, obviously this is what you want since you do want to create some jealousy within your ex.

In our own independent studies we found that jealousy worked extremely well when it came to getting an ex back.

HOWEVER, it’s important to note that women who used jealousy in a very subtle manner (like posting a new picture and getting a ton of attention from guys) had the most success.

And that’s exactly what a new profile picture will accomplish.

A – Active

Most men out there have a common thought after a breakup,

“There is no way that she will survive without me.”

They expect you to freak out…



Slam the door…

Or as the newest member of the “Ex Recovery Team” Ashley says,

Turn into a “Rage Tornado.”

grown woman tantrum

And it’s funny but this is exactly what so many women do. Hell, if I was a betting man I’d say that a lot of you have exhibited this type of behavior to your ex boyfriend already.

I’ll never forget my very first breakup.

It didn’t end well obviously and after it was all said and done I remember thinking,

She is probably moping around all depressed.

Of course, I went to Facebook to spy on her to see if she was doing that and like I predicted there was nothing.

No posts…

No recent likes…

No cliche inspirational quotes…

She was on lock down.




And here’s the most fuc*ed up part.

I loved it!

It gave me power. It made me feel like I was in control and that if I really wanted to I could have her eating out of the palm of my hand.

You see, my ex made the mistake that most of you seem to make over and over again.

She went silent on Facebook.

Look, we live in an age where after a breakup there is one place that most exes will go to “check in” on their past loves, Facebook.

I know this is probably like the ten millionth time that I have cited this statistic but did you know that close to 90% of exes have admitted to Facebook creeping after a breakup?

Seriously, 90%!


So, what does this tell us?

Well, it tells us that the likelihood of your ex boyfriend popping by your own Facebook page is very high.

And it gives you an opportunity to control the narrative.

To control what he thinks of how you are handling the breakup.

Look, if you have read any of my other big articles then you would know that I am a huge proponent of the no contact rule. Now, what does that have to do with Facebook?

Well, believe it or not but the no contact rule may actually raise the chances that your ex will spy on your Facebook page.

So, rather than being all mopey and depressed like my ex I say stay active and show that the breakup hasn’t beaten you like he expects that it has.

Ok, I Get It But How Do I Show Him I Am Active?

Simple, I want you to post things.

Oh, I get it… You just want me to post anything, right?

Eh, not exactly.

I want you to post very specific things.

You see, I recently stumbled across a fascinating study where men were asked what the top twenty most valued attributes were in a potential marriage partner.

In other words, they were asked what they were attracted to in women that they would want to marry.

Care to guess what those twenty attributes were?

  1. Reliable
  2. Warm
  3. Fair
  4. Intelligent
  5. Knowledgeable
  6. Conscientious
  7. Trusting
  8. Hardworking
  9. Secure
  10. At Ease
  11. Emotionally Stable
  12. Perceptive
  13. Even-Tempered
  14. Energetic
  15. Practical
  16. Curious
  17. Sociable
  18. Creative
  19. Well Organized
  20. Relaxed

Pretty cool, right?

So, here is what I want you to do.

Everything that you post on Facebook needs to hit one of these attributes.

Whether it be a picture…

A quote…

A video…

It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that the purpose of what you post needs to embody one of these attributes.


Still not clear enough?

Ok, I will give you a few examples.

Let’s pick out five of these attributes and I will give you an example of the perfect thing to post for each of the five.

So, which five should I pick?

  1. Warm
  2. Intelligent
  3. Knowledgeable
  4. Energetic
  5. Creative

Let’s start with warm!

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An Example Of What To Post That’s Warm

The first thing that sprang to mind when I saw this was that I wanted you to post a picture of you being in a warm place. Something where you are shot in the sun.

I know that technically that isn’t what warm is supposed to mean but I feel like your ex will think like me on this (since I am a guy.)

Something like this is probably ideal,

If I were to see this picture I would think that this particular girl is the very definition of “warm.”

Besides, with this you can also check off the “beautiful” aspect that we were talking about above because make no mistake about it this picture is beautiful.

An Example Of Intelligence

As I am giving you these examples I am just going to be giving you the first image that pops into my mind because my guess is that your ex boyfriend is going to have a very similar image to me.

So, the first image that popped into my mind here was of a beautiful girl studying.

That’s what I think of when it comes to intelligence.

So, posting a picture of yourself like this would be ideal,

woman studying

I also want you to take notice of how crisp and clear these pictures are.

Probably a good idea to hire a professional photographer for these types of pictures as well.

An Example Of Knowledgeable

The first thing that I thought of when it came to this was of you posting something that he didn’t know.

My wife is really good at this.

She is always posting interesting tidbits on Facebook.

So, I think I am just going to use one of her posts as an example here,

Screen Shot 2016-08-03 at 1.22.22 PM

Links to interesting articles like this are ideal.

The more you post interesting stuff like this the more knowledgeable your ex boyfriend will think you are.

An Example Of Energetic

You out dancing with your friends…

That was the first thing that popped into my mind.

Posting a picture like this,

dancing with friends

Will not only show that you are energetic but it will also show that you are social and you aren’t sitting in your room depressed over the breakup.

An Example Of Creative

Let me ask you a question,

Do you have any talents?

If so, now is probably the time to show them off on Facebook.

Maybe you have a knack for drawing or painting.

Maybe you have a knack for photography.

Now is the time to show your creative side.

Post some amazing painting you did like this on Facebook,

digital painting

Show off your creativity!

S – Sexy

This is going to sound really weird and I am pretty sure I am going piss a few feminists off.

But I wholeheartedly believe that what I am about to say works.

I want you to post a picture on Facebook that makes your ex boyfriend want to have sex with you.

Whoa… Whoa… Whoa… Isn’t there more to relationships than sex?

Absolutely, but oftentimes sex is a HUGE component in rebuilding the attraction that was lost with your breakup.

Imagine this.

You and your ex boyfriend went through a horrible breakup where he wants nothing to do to you.

He calls you mean names…

He says,

“I hate you…”

Yada… yada… yada…

You get the gist.

And then you post this picture on your Facebook,

It takes him a while to see the picture but when he does his attitude completely changes.

He starts talking to you more cordially.

Hell, he even gets bold enough to flirt.

But why?

Well, it’s because he saw that picture and thought to himself,

“I want her so bad right now…”

or maybe he thinks,

“Man, she was really good in bed…”

Either way look at the result.

You started off at a point where he was cursing your existence and you ended up at a point where he was flirting with you because he wants to sleep with you.

Now, I can hear you saying,

“That’s not the point…. I want him back for me. Not my body.”

Are you aware of the idea of Judo?

If not then you are in for a treat.

Judo is a very specific martial art that involves take-downs and high level trips.

The cool thing about Judo is that it’s designed in a way that it uses your opponents own force against them.

Here’s a quick gif depicting what I mean,


Do you see how the girl in the white gi rushes at the girl in the blue gi?


Gi = Karate Outfit

Well, once the girl in white rushes the girl in blue the girl in the blue uses whites force against her and ends up redirecting her to the ground.

This is essentially what I want you to do when you catch your ex boyfriends attention using a sexy photo.

You are going to redirect his attraction into your relationship instead of directly at your body.

In other words, you are going to bait him with a sexy picture to get him hooked.

Once he is hooked he will be that much easier to redirect.

“The whole secret lies in confusing the enemy, so that he cannot fathom our real intent.” Sun Tzu, The Art of War

This is mental judo!

And it’s what the most attractive women in the world have mastered.

E – Evolutionary

One of the things that I am very big on when it comes to Ex Boyfriend Recovery is personal growth.

Wait… Why are you big on that?

Simple, we have seen incredible results from women who facilitate a lot of personal growth after their breakup.

In other words, women who evolve during their breakups end up having a better shot of getting their exes back.

And Facebook provides you an opportunity to showcase that growth.

One things for sure, if you want to get your ex boyfriend back you can’t expect to be the same version of yourself that you were when he broke up with you.


Well, it’s due to the fact that HE BROKE UP WITH THAT VERSION OF YOU!!!

Let’s pretend that we could assign an overall rating for someone. This rating would encompass everything you can imagine.




Social Status…

You get the idea.

Hmm… and to make things interesting let’s pretend that this rating can be done on a 1 – 10 scale.

Now, lets say that when your ex boyfriend broke up with you, you were only a 6.

Not too bad but not anywhere near what you are capable of.

But let’s say that after the breakup you take my advice and evolve as a human being and evolve from a 6 to a 9.

Whats more is you showcase this evolution to your ex boyfriend in an indirect way over Facebook.

Well, all of a sudden he is really starting to regret his decision to break up with you.

That’s what we are going for here and the very best Facebook profiles can do just that to their ex boyfriends.

But how?

What exactly are these Facebook profiles doing to showcase this kind of growth?

Great question!

Generally they are doing amazing things and rather than telling you a story about the amazing thing that they did they are showing you via videos and pictures.

I’ll tell you what, I am going to give you an example that I use in my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.

Of course, in order for this example to make sense we are going to have to operate under a few assumptions.

Assumption #1: You have just gotten into the best shape of your life

Assumption #2: You have just gotten some of the most beautiful looking dresses

Assumption #3: You have started taking up salsa dancing lessons

Assumption #4: You are having an incredible time with your friends

Assumption #5: As a result of being in great shape you just won a tennis tournament

Assumption #6: You just started your own business that’s proven to be pretty successful

Now, this is the most important part.

Your ex boyfriend knows you as someone who was always afraid to speak up. Someone who hadn’t really accomplished much.

In other words, deep down he is under the assumption that he is better than you.

But he is in for the surprise of a lifetime!

Let’s imagine one by one you start posting pictures or videos of yourself accomplishing all of these things.

Let’s say you show off the fact that you are in the best shape of your life,

fit woman

And then you show off your amazing new figure in some amazing new dresses,

woman dress

Oh, and we can’t forget those amazing salsa dancing lessons you have been doing,

salsa dancing

And what better way to show off your new salsa dancing skills than to go out with your friends on the town dancing,

dancing with friends

Oh, and let’s not forget that you just won a tennis tournament!

Of course, don’t forget to show off you amazing new business that has just become a success,



Now, can you imagine the look on your exes face when you essentially completely rewire his view of you?

It’ll probably be something like this,


Ok, that was his heart but you get what I am going for!

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64 thoughts on “The Anatomy Of The Perfect Facebook Profile For “Ex Recovery””

  1. Mandy

    November 7, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    Hi Chris, I moved my life to be with him, left my son, home, marriage, career everything and heโ€™s now decided heโ€™s not going to be with me. Heโ€™s blocked me but shows up every 3 weeks to see me. Should I change my Facebook status to single And start no contact?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 8, 2019 at 4:48 pm

      Hi Mandy, I would look at what youve given up for him for him to then treat you this way, focus on yourself and work on you. Yes go into No Contact

  2. Ashley

    June 7, 2019 at 12:09 pm

    My ex broke up with me last week after a very serious 2 year relationship. I was very professional and went to his house to get my things a few days ago and handled it very well, not crying or begging just had polite conversation and he said there is no one else in the picture. I made no contact at all since then and he has already unfollowed me on Instagram and also our dogs Instagram which is very hurtful I donโ€™t know why he is treating me like this after being together so long and just suddenly breaking up. I wanted to give him his space and so I didnโ€™t beg for him back or do anything irrational. Why is being like this and how do I get him

    1. Chris Seiter

      June 8, 2019 at 1:49 am

      Hey Ashley…guys can be confusing and temperamental. Just stick with game plan

  3. Agata

    February 22, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    Hey Chris and whole EBR team ๐Ÿ™‚
    I Have to say, i simply love you guys. I was so devastated after my break up. He broke up with me after a month of first break up and of course I did all the textbook mistaked. I begged him to stay, I panicked and when he asked me for more space I surrounded him being afraid he would leave me again. I stopped hanging out with my friends just so I can be free for him and always waiting for him to offer a meeting as if it was the only interesting stuff going on in my life. He fell in love with ambitious, hard working, fascinating, confident me and I am sure now he grew less and less fond of me as I began to obsess over him and I lost myself over the process. I didn’t like the new me and evidently he didn’t as he broke up with me one month later and it was a shitty month to be honest. I never felt so insecure, low, moody in a long time…
    But now after 6 days of no contact I am starting to really appreciate it that it happened. We were to go to cinema 12 days after the break up but he went on a date with another girl and he didn’t answer me for half a day (and we texted a lot every day) as almost he wanted to show me that he is busy with another girl and wanted me to be okay with it (while flirting and going out for cinema and dinner with me ). That was my limit and then was when for the first time I rejected his meeting offer. He was truly shocked,first he was angry and confused but then he started to apologize and 7 days ago he wrote me the last message saying “I am truly sorry,I don’t know what to do now, I will be waiting once you are ready to talk to me” but I stayed silent and want to finish my 30 days NC no matter what.
    It already gave me so much happiness, power ,confidence that I was missing in the last two months or so. I start to feel like myself again or even the better version of me ! I already changed my profile pic and I was shocked because for the first time he liked it (and before he told me jokingly I was fishing for his likes and that he doesn’t like to like anything on fb, he is just an observer), he liked my happy insta picture when I am smiling and wearing nice make up, but he still hasn’t contacted me and not sure he will…But I will think and worry about it in the next 3 weeks, thanks to your advice I have already booked professional photography session with photographer , I signed for shooting class (with gun and arrow as it was always my dream!), I start to attend more lectures and classes conveying my big interest and passion which is China and Chinese culture and I work out more and care about my fitness plan ๐Ÿ™‚ I hope to get soon some new clothes once I am better with my wealth section ๐Ÿ™‚ I also dream about getting your book but unfortunately I can’t afford it now ๐Ÿ™
    I am going for acrobatics class now, but I wanted to thank you once more for the amazing work you are doing here even for free like for me there is still a huuuuuge amount of help and much needed information, you guys are truly the Best <3!
    All the Best,

    1. Chris Seiter

      February 23, 2019 at 4:36 am

      Hi Agata…. I am glad are getting so much out of the website. It seems like you are really spreading your wings. Reach out to me via the “Contact Form” at the bottom of each page on my website. Just remind me who you are and ask me to send you a link for a Half Price discount!

  4. smilyn

    December 6, 2018 at 11:31 pm

    What if your ex doesnt use any of those social media platforms (facebook, twitter, linkedin)? Sure I know he has snapchat, whatsapp, kik… etc.. but I am blocked on all of those and don’t even know his profile name on others, so he wouldnt be following me on them. I have started to update my facebook profile anyway with better photos of myself, but since my account is private only those photos that I specifically selected are visible for non-friends (when they google search or facebook search me). Is this enough?

    I know one platform he is on, but I worry that no sooner he sees me on it again he will just block me, so I have no way to let him see my changes & fun life away from him. He seems angry at me and stubborn at the moment so unsure he would ever unblock just to take a peak.

  5. Stef

    September 6, 2017 at 11:50 pm

    My bf and I originally started as a long distance relationship that was on /off. Eventually after a few bumpy times he decided that I was the one for him and he persued me until I agreed to him moving over and living with me. We were living together for over 4 years when he decided that he didn’t see a future with me and moved out. I was devastated and feel that it is a mistake. I cried and begged him not to leave but once he left I never contacted him. He has remained in my country rather than going back home. Other than a fee matter of fact texts about our dog in the first few weeks of splitting up there has been nc for nearly 3months. I don’t even know where he is staying. This week I noticed he has deleted me from Facebook which I found really upsetting. I’m shocked that he has never contacted me and now deleted me. Is there any hope left?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 7, 2017 at 9:30 pm

      HI Stef,

      if you were active in improving yourself and in posting in the past months, initiate contact and slowly rebuild rapport. If not, do that first for at least two weeks before initiating contact.

  6. Sindy

    April 1, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    Hi Amor
    What it I don’t get much likes on a post what then? Does that mean it’s unsuccessfull ? I mean I’m whatever I post?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 3, 2017 at 7:07 am

      the likea doesn’t matter.. what matters is you have posts that he will see if he gets curious

  7. Sara

    February 1, 2017 at 12:13 am

    Dude. You explain “no contact” way better than most. Instead of “just don’t do it” you actually demystify the whole reasoning for it and explain its actual effect. Guys might not like you for this but I sure think your great. And… it worked. Thanks buddy. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 1, 2017 at 1:05 pm

      Hi Sar,

      thank you I’ll forward this to Chris!

    2. Sara

      February 1, 2017 at 12:14 am


  8. Katie

    November 12, 2016 at 12:44 am

    How important is it to be active on social media? I’ve done no contact for 22 days so far and have only just put a couple of things up on Facebook this week. I’m going out with friends next week so can post that but I’m worried that having not put stuff up from the beginning could have hurt my chances? I’m planning on doing 30 days NC. He hasn’t contacted me so far.

    1. Katie

      November 20, 2016 at 8:50 am

      So I’ve gone out a few times this week and thought about extending but I think that now will be ok to contact him. I’ve got a couple of things on next week but need to find more stuff to keep me busy (for the week after) and don’t want to contact him at a “quiet” point. I’ve been going out and having fun and had quite a bit of male attention from other men. Was actually asked out by a guy last night but had to decline and say I wasn’t ready to date yet (as he’s part of this new friendship group and I don’t want to make things awkward). Finally got to a place where I’m happy regardless of what happens with my ex (it’s taken a long time). Just want other people on this site to know that it is possible if you keep on doing things that make you happy and giving yourself things to look forward to that don’t involve your ex.

    2. Katie

      November 14, 2016 at 11:38 pm

      Sorry, going out twice this week doing different things with friends if it wasn’t clear.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 7:41 pm

      Yup, that’s good!

    4. Katie

      November 14, 2016 at 11:37 pm

      Ok thanks. I have posted some stuff being out in the countryside and then at a meal out (with family) this week. Also going out with friends (fun activity as a group and on a night out) later this week too. Hopefully that will be enough? Weirdly I noticed that he changed his profile picture (kind of posing which he doesn’t normally do on social media) less than an hour after I posted some pictures of me looking good and having a nice time…

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 14, 2016 at 9:01 pm

      Hi Katie,

      very important, because that’s your indirect way of showing your improvement. If you need to extend a week more, go ahead.

  9. Kat

    October 17, 2016 at 2:21 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 10 days ago, and we are in NC since then . But just found out he took down ALL our pictures together and changed his status to Single on his FB Profile. We are in LD relationship for over 1 year. Please help I’m panicking!! Want to call him so bad ! Question is why did he do it? Does it mean he made up his mind? Should I hope and continue NC?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 18, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      Hi Kat,

      just continue nc.. most of the time they do it because it hurts to see your pictures and to see if you’ll react..focus in improving yourself

  10. Esther Moore

    October 12, 2016 at 4:53 am

    How can i get really good profile pics if its fall and the houses are right next to eachother for my ex fiance to see on facebook?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 12, 2016 at 12:24 pm

      choose a different setting, what’s more important is you look beautiful

  11. Sierra

    September 29, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    I love this article and this whole site it has helped me understand my ex boyfriend a lot more and how men think I really appreciate the information and it makes complete sense. My ex has blocked me on Facebook and it’s been about 3 months now but I have made some pretty big changes in my life since the breakup my friend is a professional photographer so I can get her to photograph me but I want to lose a little bit more weight. But I just wanted to say thanks you guys are great here love this site

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 1, 2016 at 1:04 pm

      Thank you too Sierra!

  12. Cara

    September 18, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    Hi EBR Team!
    I just love this site. Okay, I have some very specific FB questions . I have the professional profile pics and i know my FB has gotten my exes attention and caused him to contact me several times, although he’s very subtle he will wait 1-2 weeks before contacting. My questions is I know my ex has me on a FB notification whenever I post something or Change my profile pic….he’s immediately “Active” on FB and goes online. Most of the time, he will be active for 1-2 minuts then take himself off IMMEDIATELY so I dont’ notice. I know this because I’ve been monitoring his patterns for 6 months now. The other thing he does is what seems to be checking to see when I’m “ACTIVE” on Fb even if I’m not posting anything. I have a pattern of checking it when I wake up and before I go to bed, so I’ve noticed that he will go on when I’m on then take himself of right waay. It’s as if he’s checking up to see if I’m alive or maybe if I’ with another guy. It’s very subtle, but I ‘m 99% certain it’s geared towards me. I feel like he’s tracking me. Heck, I am tracking him too LOL. I do believe the Devil is in the details. My ex tends to be very subtle and keeps his cards close to his chest.
    My question is do these small details help in indicating that he may have still feelings for me or want me back? Weve been in no contact, and I’ve had to restart it a few times. I get a lot of mixed signals from him, but if he’s not trying to date me it’s confusing as to why he’s keeping such close tabs on me via FB. Please explain. Thank you!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 20, 2016 at 3:38 pm

      yes, he’s still curious but that doesn’t mean he thinks you’ve changed and better than before. That doesn’t mean he’s confident that the previous are not going to resurface anymore.. But those signs are good because that means he still misses you

  13. EBR Team Member: Amor

    September 9, 2016 at 5:04 pm

    hmmm.. as much as possible no.. but I dont think it matters now

  14. Lauren

    September 8, 2016 at 10:48 pm

    When is the best time to change profile pic on FB or implement these tips? Do puns count as intelligent? I post those allot. I’ve also posted pics of myself and friends hanging out, do those need to be professional too?

    1. Lauren

      September 10, 2016 at 6:44 pm

      Puns as in comical word play. It was 70/30 I feel like with him. He liked making them and he’d laugh when I’d make them but sometimes it was more like he tolerated them in good humour.
      I guess I’ll need to hire that pro photographer now.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 12, 2016 at 9:48 am

      oh okay… as long as it’s not going to make him feel that you’re trying to use that to attack him or pin point his faults, that’s ok.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 9, 2016 at 6:31 pm

      You should change it now, since you’ve been 22 days in and what do you mean by puns? were those offensive for him? try to avoid that because it could make him avoid you when you start to build rapport again..

      and for the question if this is the right system for you,we dont guarantee that the nc will work but you’ve already chased him, you’ve tried to talk and got neutral to no response right.. so, I think doing nc is still the better choice

  15. Shelly

    August 27, 2016 at 9:30 pm

    We dated for 3 months and he broke it off because he wasn’t head over heels he said. Yet we had so much fun together, a connection, amazing sex. He said he had hesitations because though we had all the components he wasn’t doing backflips. Help. How can I get him back? He’s still on all my social media too.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 30, 2016 at 2:44 pm

  16. Abbey

    August 25, 2016 at 2:26 am

    Hi, my now ex boyfriend broke up with me the other day… over snapchat. He is avoiding talking to me online but actually acknowledged my existence today when I saw him. We haven’t talked about the break up at all and I just need closure about all of this. He hasn’t given me a reason, he said in the message that things had just been awkward over the last couple of weeks (I thought gigs were fine). Today I heard from a friend that he said it was because we never hung out after school, this was only because he works all the time. Do I try and message him again?

    1. Abbey

      September 17, 2016 at 11:12 pm

      Well luckily (I guess) he didn’t call because he was ‘too busy’ like always. I just don’t know whether or not I even want to talk to him after NC anymore. Up to 22 days so far

    2. Abbey

      September 14, 2016 at 3:46 am

      Okay please reply fast!!! I’ve being successfully doing no contact for around 20 days now. But today our teach told us that we have to work on some Hong outside school so he’s going to call me tonight… I’m going to carry on with NC right after but how do I get through this call without saying something bad? I want to go off at him but I’ve been nice but what do I do tonight??

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 17, 2016 at 11:54 am

      In situations like that, just talk about what you need to talk, nothing else.. If he opens it up, listen but don’t engage in a fight.. Calmly tell him you understand him but you’re not ready to talk about the two of you yet.

    4. Abbey

      September 1, 2016 at 3:49 am

      We talked today during class. We’re kind of acting like normal but it’s not really the same. Still doing no contact 7 days so far. I’m not sure if I’ll actually talk to him once it’s done because I don’t think I want him back after all this but I want him to miss me like I miss him.

    5. Abbey

      August 30, 2016 at 8:15 pm

      Yesterday when we alone barely anything was said so we kind of just avoiding talking to each other. Do I try talk to him about this in person in our next class to try and make things less awkward?

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2016 at 2:20 pm

      nope.. just be normal.. if he’s not talking to you, don’t talk to him.. If he approaches you, reply nicely.

    7. Abbey

      August 29, 2016 at 3:38 am

      We were together for around 4 months. He’s still avoiding talking to me online and in person. I started NC on the 26th after giving him one last chance to tall to me about this. Tomorrow at school we’re alone in a class together so I don’t know what to do there.

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 30, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      Just be civil with him..

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 29, 2016 at 1:00 am

      Hi Abbey,

      nope. He’s already avoiding you.. you should no long were you together?

  17. Shay

    August 20, 2016 at 6:36 pm

    Can I give my ex likes on facebook?
    Or… first while we aren’t yet talking very much I can’t but with the Tide Theory, when we are having more conversations and it goes well… Can I??
    I don’t know if I should like his posts or not.

    1. Shay

      August 21, 2016 at 10:18 pm

      Yes I mean after NC.
      Ok Thank you Amor ๐Ÿ™‚

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 21, 2016 at 3:11 pm

      Hi Shay,

      sorry I dont understand your question. did you mean liking his posts during nc? nope.. but if it’s after nc, yes you can

  18. Marie

    August 16, 2016 at 7:32 pm

    What if you post what you think is a sexy or beautiful pic and only a handful of people like it? This didn’t happen but it’s a hypothetical.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 18, 2016 at 11:45 am

      hi Marie,

      it’s ok… that doesnt mean he wont find it attractive

  19. Jessica

    August 16, 2016 at 10:37 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend last Saturday I went around he was a dick, I left a letter saying everything I wanted to, then he sent me a sweet message, I replied back good luck etc etc then he message me asking for something back he gave me. I replied saying was he serious and that what he gave me means a lot. The day after he block me on FB even though I haven’t tried contacting him and I deleted him prior to our break up. Since I have received a message compromising on me giving back one of his gifts. I haven’t replied. Does he seriously want his gifts back or is he trying to get my attention I can tell ? please and thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 17, 2016 at 3:36 pm

      hi Jessica,

      I think he was pissed so he asked for them back

  20. EBR Team Member: Amor

    August 13, 2016 at 9:29 am

    ok, whether he blocked you or not, you should continue the activities you started during nc. Going to the gym, going out with friends, doing new things and meeting new people.. and being active in social media, because that will establish that you have moved on and you will not chase anymore.. give yourself a time limit until when you would wait.. for example, give it another month.. if he doesn’t reply by then, you should move on.

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