By Shannon

Some relationships end easily with the mutual decision to go separate ways and to remain friends. You meet for coffee every now an then and you support each other’s new relationships.

In a fantasy land all relationships would end this way.

But we don’t live in a fantasy land… sadly…

Some relationships definitely do NOT end that way.

These relationships end with anger, sadness and pain.

Maybe one person wronged the other

Perhaps there were fundamental differences in your religious beliefs

Maybe you just wanted to live in different places.

Relationships can end badly for many different reasons. Sometimes they aren’t always obvious. You are just left knowing that it ended badly and that you and your ex are on bad terms.

Can these relationships still be salvaged if things were left uncomfortable and not on good terms?

Why yes, yes, they can.

The most important thing to remember is that these things are going to take time. There is a time line for negative emotions in the EBR guidelines:

  • Immediately After a Breakup = 9-10 (Very Bad Feelings)
  • A Month After the Breakup = 5-6 (Moderately Bad Feelings)
  • Two Months After a Breakup = 3-4 (Improved Feelings)

As soon as a relationship ends tensions and emotions are high and it is easy to want to shout how you are feeling from the rooftops.

Don’t do that.

If your emotions are high, then it is likely that they are high for your ex as well.

Looking at the timeline above you’ll notice that feelings start to improve after one month. The No Contact period just happens to fall perfectly into this.

If things ended badly for you and your ex then you are going to have to go through a longer No Contact than usual. Generally speaking 30-45 days is a pretty safe amount of time. However, every situation is different. The only thing that is certain is that throwing your emotions at an ex who already views you in a negative light is only going to set you back further.

During the No Contact period your ex will have time to forget all the negative emotions that came with the end of the relationship.

But time can’t do all the work for you.

So, what should you do during the time apart?

Work on the trifecta! We here ate ExBoyfriendRecovery call it The Holy Trinity.

If you are unfamiliar or new to EBR, let’s review.

The three areas of focus following a breakup (particularly a bad one) are:

  • Health
  • Wealth
  • Relationships

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Health

After a breakup it’s easy to let yourself go. You might stop showering daily. The gym might not seem so appealing any more. Some people take comfort in the arms of the two most understanding men I have ever met: Ben and Jerry.

It’s all so easy and comforting, just giving in to being sad.

But, it’s not going to get you any closer to getting your ex back. In fact, it’s likely to do the opposite.

Look at it this way:

Would you want your ex back more if they gained a bunch of weight and smelled bad

OR

Would you want them back if they started lifting more weights and smelled good all the time?

Wait, don’t answer yet.

Just picture it for a minute.

Do you have the image in your head?

Now picture yourself running into your ex on your way home from an ice cream run after not showering for four days.

Did you cringe a little bit?

Let’s not have this visual become a reality. Taking time to exercise and take care of yourself is going to not only make you feel better about yourself, it’s going to project a vibe that will draw people to you.

People like your ex.

Wealth

The second aspect of the trifecta is wealth.

Having wealth does not only mean having money. It means having a means of continuing to have money…. In other words, it means having a job.

While people may say that money doesn’t matter or that it isn’t everything, they lie. Money does matter for several reasons.

  1. You’ll have independence. You’ll be able to support yourself which is not only a confidence booster, but it is attractive to potential suitors. If you relied a lot on your ex for money while you were together, showing them that you are bettering yourself financially will cause them to think twice and say “wow… she doesn’t need me?”
  2. Being able to support yourself will open you up for new opportunities. You’ll be able to buy a gym membership, new clothes, nice makeup. This is how health and wealth relate!

Relationships

Maintaining solid relationships that aren’t your ex will help you to cope with the loss in a healthy way. Friends will be there to help you  through the breakup and support you as you heal. Going out and experiencing things will help you to grow and develop on your own.

An added benefit of cultivating other relationships during a breakup is that your loved ones can help you see if this lost relationship is really what is best for you and what you truly want. Sometimes, it is easy to get blinded by the desire to be with someone and not realize that this person is not the one who is best for us.

Finally, going on dates with new men is another way of working the relationship part of the trifecta. Going on dates may seem scary but it will give you a sense of what you want in a relationship and what you deserve.

Added bonus you may just make your ex jealous! Is jealous good? It depends. If the reason for the break up is that you cheated, then no. Jealousy is a no go. However, in most other situations using a little bit of jealousy will make your ex question whether or not he is ready to give up what they had.

It’s Been Years Since We Broke Up

Now, what if the breakup was bad, but it has been awhile, as in longer than the original no contact period?

If you have already been working on yourself and feel like you are in a place where your health, wealth, and relationships have developed and that you are in a secure place then send ONE reach out text. You can refer to this article or the Texting Bible for help constructing the best reach out text ever.

However, understand that it is possible that while enough time has passed for you, it may not have been enough time for your ex.

Yes, even if it has been 2 years, 3 years, or eve 5 years. Sometimes it just takes longer for some people to get past things.

If you don’t get a response or if the response you get is negative, don’t panic. Simply take it in stride and respect that they need more time. Continue to work on yourself and try again after some time has passed. The Texting Bible lays out exactly how to hand negative and no responses depending on your situation.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

We Broke Up Because Of A Big Fight

The opposite end of the spectrum is that your ex ended things abruptly. If this is the situation take a deep breath.

Have you ever, in a fit of rage, said things that you didn’t actually mean?

Well, sometimes this happens, and couples break up out of the blue even when it isn’t what either one them truly wants. If your relationship ended in a heat of an argument just lay low and give it time.

More often than not, your ex will approach you after tensions have cooled.

We Didn’t Really Have a Good Reason For Breaking Up

If the relationship ended and there were no new signs that it was coming and no major blow out, then that is a little different.

You should still enter into no contact and begin to work on yourself but also look back on the relationship and try to figure out where things went wrong.

Yeah. I know. You are probably already doing that. But try to look for things you actually have control over correcting. Don’t just try and figure out who was at fault and try and find fuel for a pity party.

We Are Still Living Together

We have already covered how a little space and a little time can help resolve issues. But what if things ended badly and you just can’t get any space? What if you live together?

Story time!

I haven’t always written for EBR. Before I started doling out the advice, I came here to receive it.

My boyfriend and I lived together and had an UGLY breakup. And I mean UGLY. There was cheating, and verbal abuse and we were both to blame. However, we could not afford to get our own places and had no family living in the area to stay with.

We lived together as Exes for ONE ENTIRE YEAR… down to the month!!!

During that time, I used limited no contact twice and (before finding EBR) broke down and asked him to take me back on multiple occasions. Every time that I asked it went nowhere and I only ended up hurt.

Then one month before our one year break up anniversary, he went away for a military training. By the time he got back I had left for my own training.

This gave us about six weeks of actual No Contact. And guess what happened about five weeks into this no contact? HE ASKED FOR ME BACK! Woo!

Why am I telling you this story?

To make a point…. or two…

First, that living together as exes makes it incredibly difficult to make your ex miss you and want you back. The only way to truly do that is to be physically absent for a significant amount of time.

If you are unable to get out of living with your ex, then the second-best thing to do is to is get out of the house as much as possible.

Pick up new hobbies, make new friends, go on dates.

Make him feel like they are missing out on good times that they could have been sharing with you.

Differences in Our Core Beliefs

The last topic that is going to be covered in this article is what to do if the breakup was the result of core differences in your beliefs.

This is a very delicate area of discussion so specific topics are not going to be discussed in detail.

What is The Limited No Contact Rule?

What might these areas of difference be?

  • Religion
  • Sexual Orientation
  • Gender Identities
  • Geographical Locations to live in
  • Political Beliefs

If you broke up because you and your Ex had differing opinions on any of these topics you need to consider how important your feelings on the matter are. I mean generally our religious and political beliefs, sexual and gender identities, and physical location aren’t pretty unwavering.

Here is a video that Chris put together regarding what you should do if you are struggling with having different values than your ex…

If your ex is asking you to give up your spiritual belief systems is that something that you could live with down the road? Would you ever even consider it otherwise? If not, then you may have to accept that it is not going to work out.

However, if you are both willing to compromise on these topics then you may be able to salvage the relationship.

Go through the full ExBoyfriendRecovery Pro System before approaching these heavy topics though.

Let me give you another example: My Ex’s family lives in North Carolina and my family lives in New Hampshire. It’s about a sixteen-hour drive between the two. For a long time, we were unable to come up with any viable solutions about where to live without making one person resent the other.

When we decided to start talking seriously again it was still a hot topic, but we have been considering Philadelphia which would be right in the middle of our two families. From time to time we both still are not satisfied with this solution but it’s a work in progress and we both know that we are flexible on the issue… To a point.

If you and your Ex are unable to find your Philly-compromise, then there is always going to be a little bit of animosity and resentment from one or both parties.

It’s important to remember to stay true to yourself. Similarly, you are going to want to be with a man who stays true to themselves as well.


To wrap things up a little bit it is certainly possible to get your ex back if your relationship ended badly.

I mean, I did, you can too!

But, the key to it is giving both you and your ex enough time and space to recover from whatever negative situation that occurred.

If you were the one who hurt them then give them enough time to deal with their pain and let them process. If you were the one who got hurt then make sure that you process your emotions thoroughly. Entering back into a relationship that you have not healed from will result in further problems down the road.

So, now that you are all filled in let’s talk about your particular situation. In the comments below tell me about it. Here’s what I need to know:

  1. Tell me the details of your breakup. How long were you together before it happened? What do you think the reason for it was?
  2. What have you done since the breakup?
  3. What do you think your best course of action is?

Once we have all the info, our experts will help you determine what your next course of action should be.

What to Read Next

I Regret Breaking Up With My Ex Boyfriend; How Can I Get Him Back?

By Chris Seiter | 118 comments

Doing This Can Make Your Ex Come Crawling Back Ahead Of Time

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

You Should Let Your Ex Come To You; Here’s Why!

By Chris Seiter | 163 comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

111 thoughts on “My Relationship Ended Badly; Can I Sill Get Him Back?”

  1. Avatar

    E

    April 28, 2021 at 1:08 am

    My ex and I were together for 10 months. Since early in our relationship (about the 3 month mark) we both knew I would have to move across the country to start a new, exciting career. We stayed together after I got my job offer, not knowing when I would be leaving and dedicated to spending as much time together as possible before I left. This was the time line: met Feb 2020, became exclusive March 2020, I got hired May 2020, I moved into his place July 2020, I left to move across country November 2020. We had such good times together before I left. We had a great relationship, very healthy, talked out any disagreements, had super fun adventures. Just all around had an amazing time. Very loving. He spent time with my family and I with his. Everyone thought we would be together forever. We discussed him moving with me when I left to pursue my career. I told him it was his decision, and that I knew it was a big ask. He spent a few months thinking it through and in October 2020 he said yes he would move with me. We discussed children and a timeline for having a family, as well as a timeline for him moving to join me. We decided he would come out in April 2020.

    Before I left I told him I was worried he would change his mind. He looked me dead in the eyes and said he was for sure moving to be with me. In January 2021 I brought up the move to start hashing out details (time line, costs, etc.) that’s when he dropped the bombshell. He did not want to move. And he did not want to do long distance.

    He lives in our home town where all of our friends and family are located. I now live 3000 miles away. I told him I would move back home for him. He did not want me to do so. A month and a half after the break up (March 2020) I travelled back to our home to see him and try and salvage the relationship. I was very angry that he betrayed me. We spent two weeks together fighting it out. By the end of it he said he didn’t love me and that he had never loved me. He kicked me out of his house. Since then he has blocked me on everything and refuses to speak to me.

    For context we are both mid-thirties.

    I am devastated. I have no way to contact him or see him. I miss him so much.

  2. Avatar

    Marie

    December 28, 2020 at 10:08 am

    Me and my ex fiance were together for 3 yrs it was bumpy bc he is a recovery addict and i deal with mental health so he wouldnt do what he was suppose to do and i wouldnt take my meds and that was a big thing for him well jump ahead he got fired from his Apprenticeship which wasnt his fault and me and him got into a fight and he left and and had to go back down to where all his problems started the ppl he thought was friends in recovery all turned their back on him and i wasnt much help bc of my mental state and said he just wanted to die and use again and he justed wanted time and he didnt know his left from his right well jump ahead 2 days later he came down on my birthday and was telling me to think bout if he got an apartment if me and my son would move in with him bc where i live he knew i need to get out for my health and he wanted to make love that night but i was so tired and i wanted him to earn that back well he was whispering in my ear how much he loved me and were soulmates and if he has to hell drive and hr everyday to come see me bc he moved back in with his aunt who lives and hr from me well the next day he said hell pick up my son so i got an attitude and asked if he really was and there was other stuff bout him going back down to were hes staying and it hurt me but bc i was off my meds it probably came off nasty well when i left he stayed in my house and told me he loved me when i was walking out the door well 3 hrs later when i was at work i got a txt from a txting app number and it was him saying he sorry for pressuring me last night and thats something he has to live with for the rest of his life and that i wont hear or see him any more hes tired of the games and he wished me and my son the best so i called his real number and he changed it so that set me off and he knew it bc of my illness and i blew him up well i went and messaged his dad on facebook and lets say it was nasty but i did email him after saying i loved him its been almost a wk now and i havent contacted him well i cant bc he doesnt have fb or anything else ans he changed his number and idk wherw his aunt lives bc he never told me and i so badly want to c him but i know i cant and have no way too i just dont understand within and 8 hr spam he want from saying all that to leaving me and changing his number theres alot more that happen in the relationship good and bad i just dont know if its really the end

  3. Avatar

    Piedra

    December 21, 2020 at 9:02 am

    Overall we have been together 4 years. I am 39 and he is 38.

    Last year, after 2 and a half years together, he broke up with me because he said he just didn’t feel the same, but I later found out that he was after other women. But he then also wouldn’t leave me alone. I kept going back and sleeping with him because I thought he loved me but he still wouldn’t commit.

    I asked him to either leave me alone and let me get on with my life or commit to a future with me. We then did couples counselling for 3 months which seemed to help, but he still didn’t know what he wanted, so again I asked him to either leave me alone and let me get on with my life or commit to a future with me.

    This time (May 2020) he said let’s do it, lets talk about having a family, it will be great. We moved back in together and it was great, but he was just words and no action.
    When I wanted to talk about having a family, he shut me down and said it was too quick and now he has broken up with me again nearly 3 weeks ago afetr another 7 months together. I got really angry with the breakup and shouted a lot (which I never do) which probably wasn’t a good move and moved out almost immediately.

    I love this man and we have so much in common and generally don’t fight, we talk about things.
    I went back last week to pick up some things and he was all over me again, I said we shouldn’t but then I let him, and he still doesn’t know what he wants.

    My problem is I am reaching an age where I may struggle to have children if I wait any longer and i don’t just want to have to go out and find someone to have a family with that I don’t know very well or that I don’t love.

  4. Avatar

    Jack Forrest

    September 9, 2020 at 9:48 am

    Can we please discuss my situation and how you can help?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 9, 2020 at 9:39 pm

      If you can post your situation her and I can reply to help best I can. If you want one to one coaching that is in our products section

  5. Avatar

    Megan

    September 7, 2020 at 10:52 am

    Tell me the details of your breakup.
    My ex and I dated very 6 months but we were pretty serious. He asked me very quickly to be exclusive and I pushed back but than gave in under the circumstances that we were compatible as far as dating with the intention of marriage (he’s 35, I’m 32) he agreed. We communicated a lot (mainly because covid and because also I noticed very quickly he wasn’t very emotionally mature) I would say that we had conflict but mainly because I felt like I was giving 110 and not being matched. He wasn’t easy to please and was easily angered and fairly selfish. I decided to take a break and he blindsided me with a breakup during a very difficult time in my life. Of course there wasn’t closure (he said he saw our relationship way differently than I did) and I was hurt emotional and confused. We had just be in Cabo planning our lives together.

    So I did limited NC and reached out looking for closure. I didn’t beg for him back. He was always willing to meet up in person and talk but I wasn’t emotionally prepared because I felt like he was steadfast in his thoughts and I wanted mutual agreement on the demise of our breakup rather than blame for it all.

    So I would say 3 other times we were in contact, I said that I accepted his decision (although didn’t want it to be that way) I sent accountability on my end of where I could have been better but he has not reciprocated.

    Finally after saying he wouldn’t be friends because of how straining our breakup was (which he handled horribly) I went off on him and told him that he is selfish, can’t blame everyone else and take no accountability and he blocked me. I am hurt and resentful to him because if he really cared about me i think he would apologize and give clarity. He said we were not compatible which is so laughable. When we met, we both thought it was too good to be true because every foundational pillar was met- (religion, work ethic, marriage, financial, politics)) on top of having a ton in common.

    It’s been 1.5 months since the breakup. He reached out this past weekend and that’s when I went off on him because he said that he was willing to talk but again isn’t on mutual ground- he just sees it his way. Which is unfair.

    So I am now entering NC- indefinite because he has hurt me so much, with broken promises, trust, and feeling zero remorse.

    My question is is that I feel as though me reaching out for closure made me look needy and clingy (which is far from the truth) I just was hurt so emotionally and was going through so much and for someone to take zero accountability I couldn’t understand. If I stay In no contact is it possible he will feel the silence and actually become rational and fair?

    What have you done since the breakup?
    I’ve done so much work on myself. I have set and met goals, therapy, journaling, new friends, rekindled relationships, grown so much in my independence, promotion at work.

  6. Avatar

    Vanshika

    August 23, 2020 at 3:10 am

    Hi My 3.5 year relationship just ended two weeks ago. We had our differences and i got upset because he had to leave to another country for his PG. I started overthinking the situation and called our relationship off. But after a week i realised that it might work if we work it through. But just when i wanted him back and apologised he dumped me and said that he never wanted to be with me and that he did not see a future with me. I tried to convince him to stay but things got very ugly and by the end of the day i lashed out my anger and said him things i shouldn’t have. I apologised to him for the wrong that i said to him and he merely ignored my message.I have been on the no contact since then and haven’t contacted him since two weeks. Yesterday he unfollowed me on insta I really don’t know what that means and why did he do that. But i maintained my calm and let him do whatever he has to and did not say a thing. I’d really like for this work and what are the chances that i might actually get him back.

  7. Avatar

    Jess

    August 11, 2020 at 6:55 pm

    My ex fiancé and I dated long distance for 9 years. A year ago I moved into his home and at Christmas he proposed. At the beginning of June he stated after therapy he no longer wanted to get married and was unsure if he could be in a relationship at this point in his life. He’s 44…I’m 38. Ultimately in July he chose to leave his home giving me time to make arrangements to leave myself. Two weeks later I find myself 3 hours away and emotionally distraught still. Anger started to set in when I found some tweets from a woman claiming to date him now. We haven’t even been broken up a month at this point! He’s cold to me, hateful, and says he acts this way so I don’t get the wrong impression. He’s stated many times I need to move on and that he’s done. I have no idea where his anger comes from as I did t wrong him. We’ve had some loose ends since and have not started NC yet. I’ve spent a lot of years with this man and while the circumstances are so completely messed up, I would like another shot. Is this possible?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 11, 2020 at 8:59 pm

      Hey Jess, it could be possible but it means that you have to follow a 45 day No Contact period and the being there method if he is with someone else. You need to read and follow the advice for the being there method and stick with it when you start reaching out to your ex at the end of your 45 days

  8. Avatar

    Teagan

    July 19, 2020 at 2:05 pm

    Me and my ex we’re together off and on for 7.5 years. We lived together for the last 2.5 years.

    We had an ugly breakup. She was mad at me for something and even though I owned up to what I did and apologized. I ended up fighting with her over our son (whom I love with all my heart) but she sad some really rude shit and I just snapped and we fought in a way we never did before. This time she packed up her and our son and moved out that day. I want them back but I don’t know if we can come back from the things we said during that fight.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 19, 2020 at 6:27 pm

      Hey Teagan, your ex may need some times to get over the words that were exchanged during the argument, if there was any violence I would suggest that you accept that the relationship is done and focused on how you are going to co parent healthily to see your child. If not then you need to follow a limited no contact for 45 days and then start the texting phase.

  9. Avatar

    Ashley

    July 19, 2020 at 1:29 pm

    We were together for almost 2 years lived with each other and his friend for a year and then moved into our own apartment about 2 months in our new apartment he broke up with me because he felt like I was always complaining and he couldn’t find no peace. He allowed me to go through that situation alone and started talking to another girl a couple days later it really hurt me and I lashed out destroying some of his things. I took my name off the lease and moved out eventually We talked about it and I started to come back over there and stay with him. When we would argue things would blow up and I would throw things again we would talk and calm down and be back together again but this last time it was a bigger blow up and he completely cut me off. I realized that I had not forgiven the first time and ruined it for good. He was doing everything he could to mend the relationship and I was very angry and emotional and it pushed him away. I have apologized and we talked for awhile but he said right now he doesn’t know if he wants to get back together and with time he either will or he won’t. I know I messed up bad I’m seeing a therapist and I’m not that angry person I really miss him and I don’t want to loose him

  10. Avatar

    Dania

    July 17, 2020 at 12:43 pm

    We were together for 1 year and a couple of months, we were living together raising his son, I would help him so much. We broke up because I over reacted on this particular topic that involved his sons family, and I got upset because my ex was around the baby mamas family and wouldnt include me. Since the break up for the past 2 1/2 weeks I have been nothing but bombarding him with messages trying to get him back, and we would fight more than before, and he asked me for space, but I didn’t give it to him. Around 2 days ago we got into this physical fight because I was trying to get the rest of my things and he wouldn’t allow me too. So in the heat of the moment I slapled him. The next day he contacted me about something he needed help with, but he was being hot and cold. I feel like the best way to go about it is to stop talking to him… I don’t know

  11. Avatar

    Coco

    July 13, 2020 at 4:29 pm

    My ex and recently broke up officially this past weekend but mentally we both checked out about a month ago.
    We had been together for a year and half. After 3 months we had sex and a month later we agreed to be exclusive. By the 6 month, things were odd. I hadn’t met any of his friends or family. Nor have I been to his house. I asked him if he was married or hiding something and he looked me in my eyes and denied it all. I later found out he was legally married but they were separated. When i confronted him he said he felt it wasn’t any of my business.
    I agreed to leave it behind and move forward with him but all we did was fight every other week over my accusations of his time and whereabouts and the fact that our relationship had been stagnant. He would only come over my house at normal hours. We would mainly hangout by my house.

    We broke up right after Christmas and didn’t speak for 2 months. He contacted me in February and shortly after we began an exclusive relationship again. Things were a bit different this time for the better but his old ways were very much present.
    He got caught up in lies, guarded his phone like Fort Knox and began suddenly developed an urge to buy sex toys for us to use in tye bedroom.
    It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize he was cheating but I had no proof.
    He told me he didn’t trust me but that’s because of his own guilt. He even went thru my phone looking for something and found nothing.
    I had offered to him a chance to move in with me but he ended up getting an apartment instead. I never seen it in person.
    He broke up with me Saturday over a text message and then we both used an Arsenal of ugly words (me more than him).
    As messed up as this relationship was, and the worth i know I deserve, I still love him. And i secretly hope he can change his thought process and develop into the great man i know he is and once was.

  12. Avatar

    Emily Covey

    July 8, 2020 at 4:28 pm

    Hey I really hope I’ll get a reply.
    I’ve been with my ex for 8 years, it was an LDR but we’ve seen each other from time to time and then he moved further away.
    Towards the end, I had issues at home and I was distant and would go days without talking to him but I did love him.
    He finally said that enough was enough , that I emotionally abusing him and our relationship was toxic and broke up with me over a very long text.

    I of course did the begging and pleading to which he answered by saying that he’denevr give me a chance and I replied by a horrible text that I now regret.
    I obviously want him back. It’s been over a month or f no contact.
    Should I write him a “clean slate”? What do I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 26, 2020 at 10:21 am

      Hi Emily, no do not write a clean slate text just go into a No Contact for 30 days and work on your Holy Trinity. With your relationship being long distance you need to use social media or any form of contact you have to show your ex you are doing well. As for the future, did you discuss plans of being together long term at all? As all LDR need an end plan of being together full time or it causes strain on your relationship

  13. Avatar

    Ankita Singh

    June 18, 2020 at 5:16 am

    I was in a relationship for 4 years. The first three years were like a fairytale but the last one was very scary. This was the year when we started to live together too for sometime.There were a lot of fights and disagreements. He also started to ignore me, my calls, my texts. Also started getting angry with me. Kept a distance from me but always said that he loved me. He had never been with some girl. His ignorance and the fact that he stopped giving me time and his short replies made my anger grew to a new level and we broke up. I just don’t know what’s wrong. I have been chasing him for the last year of our relationship. He never opens up to me. Are we really over?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 6, 2020 at 6:42 pm

      Hey Ankita, I would suggest that you go into a 45 day No Contact and start working through the program, it really depends on how you deal with the situation if you get your ex back. Read about the Holy trinity and being Ungettable show your ex what he has lost

  14. Avatar

    Angelyn

    May 23, 2020 at 11:47 pm

    Well in my case,we’re dating online for five months. We never met each other yet.Everything went pretty well,until we got into heated arguments 3times about his ex girlfriend because they are still friend in facebook and I get jealous about it,He said they are only friends but I have the instinct that they are still together Because the his ex gf status in facebook is in a relationship and they have still photos with my Boyfriend so I don’t believe that they are not together anymore..so we have a big fight(including blackmailing)it’s a really big fight on the phone,then he broke up with me and we still in contact,after 2days of break up he ask for space,and i said okay you will have the space you needed.is there any chance he will get back to me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 9, 2020 at 10:40 am

      Hey Angelyn, so I would suggest that you follow the program starting with a full No Contact for at least 30 days and if he is still with his current girlfriend then you would need to read and implement the being there method

  15. Avatar

    Harmony Andersen

    May 22, 2020 at 6:30 am

    We were together for 2 1/2 years. I think it was because I didn’t want to move to a small town and he didn’t want to live in a city. But I’m realizing I want to compromise to be with him. I’ve tried to contact him about how I’m feeling, he dosent really talk about emotions. He helped me with my car and talked a little bit about the breakup but not much. We haven’t really been talking. I have no idea what to do. I emailed him saying I wish we ended on better terms, he dumped me over the phone. I just hate to think he didn’t think I’d want to compromise on where to live, we used to live together, I moved home after college because I got a job, I wish I would’ve realized that I want to compromise for a life with him, I fear it is too late since he won’t respond to me.

  16. Avatar

    Katie

    May 21, 2020 at 7:27 pm

    I was in a long distance relationship, but it wasn’t that long, only 3 months in total. We dated for two months until the first break-up, I went into NC after and kept it up for almost 2 months and he reached out a few times during that. We got back together about 4 months after the break-up, but it lasted only a month until he broke up over a stupid argument we had. That was 1.5 months ago. I’ve been doing NC again, I didn’t really have a choice as he blocked me everywhere. But I was stupid now, I learned he might be seeing someone new and it looks as if that woman was already close to him while we were still together and I completely lost it and had two friends of mine reply to a comment she made under one of his posts and call her a homewrecker. *facepalm*
    I’m just not sure anymore if I still wanna try to get him back or if I should just leave it.

  17. Avatar

    Tonya

    May 18, 2020 at 4:43 pm

    My ex and I broke up after about 4 months because he left the state for military training and the long distance was too hard. We got back together for a few months, but the same problems occurred. We agreed that we need to walk away because the current situation as too hard. He reached out a few weeks after the break up and we talked on and off with me telling him it was a bad idea to talk and eventually caving for about 2 months. Then, I got drunk and picked a fight and he never responded to multiple messages even after I apologized. That was two weeks ago. Is there any chance that I’ll get him back? What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 27, 2020 at 9:53 pm

      Hey Tonya, by the sounds of things you drift back into contact so yes I think you will hear from him again. However the reason for your break is still there, if you can not make things work long distance and that distance is not going to change then you are going to fall into the same pattern of on and off again relationship. As he is in the military I don’t think there is going to be a change in circumstance, so you would have to adjust to the long distance and make it work, or accept it never will

  18. Avatar

    K

    May 14, 2020 at 5:49 am

    I was seeing a guy for a month and things were going super well but also moving very quickly. I thought we were on the path to becoming official but he hit with “maybe we should try and slow down”. I panicked and instead of slowing down I became somewhat clingy and he ended things with me in a text a week later. Things got somewhat heated over text because I felt blind sided because even after saying he wanted to slow down his actions seemed to say otherwise. It’s been a week since we ended things, can I get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 9:07 pm

      Hey K, so what you did was give him the impression you are needy. Which is the opposite of what he wanted because he felt things were going too fast for him. I would say that you complete a 30 day NC and then reach out again trying to rebuild your connection

  19. Avatar

    Syafiqah

    May 8, 2020 at 12:53 pm

    So we were together for 1 year. He got into army and things got bad when he got promoted. He suddenly could not even text me and i kept asking him and he told me he was busy / tired after work. Hence we broke up and he came back to me 2 weeks after the break up. Same fight happen again and we broke up for like 3 times. The final break up happen and we end it nicely but a month later we started fighting. (All the break ups didnt end it well, and always seem needy and desperate) Its been 2 months now and we not talking. I was thinking to reach out to on the 5th month. Is it too late?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 13, 2020 at 11:10 pm

      Hey there, yes 5 months is much too long you need to reach out after a full NC is complete using a text Chris suggests

  20. Avatar

    Sar

    April 29, 2020 at 4:34 am

    So me and my ex were together for almost a year and a half. We fought a lot and had problems but always worked them out and really loved each other. Every time we fought he’d be fighting for me the whole time. He was head over heels for me, he thought i was the one and I never thought he’d break up with me no matter what. There’s been a lot of drama and i was the cause for a lot of fights and pain and suffering because it’s really hard for me to get over things and id hold it against him or always come up with issues because he would act a way i didn’t like or be immature etc.
    About a week or two ago we had a fight and it dragged on for a while and then we made up like usual but i kept talking about it for a while and then he texted me a few hours later and said he had been spending some time talking to his brother and wanted to talk in person. I knew what this meant. I spent the whole rest of the day and evening screaming and crying and begging. I had never been in this position with him and I was shocked. He told me he just needed a break and we could get back together in a few weeks. Then about a week of having a “break” and only texting if i texted him or before bed I told him i was confused and upset and again he told me that maybe he just didn’t actually want this anymore and wanted to actually break up not have a break. Then there was more crying and begging. I knew that he was tired of all the drama we’d been through and how he felt like he didn’t have a life outside of me. I told him to please take time to think about it because I want to work on myself. After a few days of going back to kind of having a break while he thought about it, and me telling him we could start fresh and that I do realize how much i had held onto things, i began to think he wasn’t going to decide to break up with me and believed that i could change. Then today he looked me dead in the eye and told me it’s over and that nothing i say or do will change his mind. He said he’s done and wanted to be completely free after so long of going through pain and drama with me. He didn’t even seem upset.
    He was my absolute best friend and love of my life. We did fight hard but we loved harder. For a year and a half he was completely obsessed and in love with me and never wanted to lose me. I don’t know how he went from that to being able to end it with me when i told him things could change.
    Although I have signed up for therapy to focus on my anxiety and overreactions, it’s super fresh so I haven’t really done anything but cry and when i get myself to stop crying it’s because i tell myself we will get back together soon.
    What i really want is for him to want me back and us to get back together but be better. I don’t know if he’ll want me back at all bc maybe he’ll see how good and calm his life is without me. He blocked me and i blocked him so idk how he’ll contact me if he even wants to.
    We have 4 months before we both go back to college and I want us to get back together soon.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 2, 2020 at 3:36 pm

      Hi Sar, if you work on yourself during that time and make sure that you are aiming to be Ungettable then you are then going to be a more confident happier person by the time you get back to college. If you have completed a full 30 days minimum no contact period you can start the texting phase but be sure to read the articles and watch the videos before reaching out so you know what to do

1 2 3 4