So, you cheated on your boyfriend and now you want him back. As you can imagine, cheating is a very popular topic when it comes to this site so I am going to handle things a little differently since there is a lot to talk about here. But before I get into the nitty gritty I am going to make you a promise. I promise that this is going to be the most in-depth page on the internet for women who want to know how they can get their boyfriends back if they cheated on him. Most likely, if you have a question it is going to be answered here and if you are confused about something please comment in the comments section below (I respond to every single one.) With that in mind, lets begin!

Lets Talk About Cheating

cheating cheetah

Before I give you any actions I think it is important to understand what the average persons reason for cheating is. Obviously, you know why you cheated on your now ex boyfriend (or maybe you don’t.) However, I think it is really important to learn from others. One of the most interesting things to look at when it comes to cheating is the difference between men and women.

Men- Most men will cheat because all they think about is sex (the horny factor.) It’s as simple as that. I have actually had a few male friends that have cheated on their girlfriends for this reason. Interestingly, they didn’t want to break up with their girlfriends because they “loved” them. It’s a simple case of a man’s eyes wandering and wanting something he knows he shouldn’t have.

Women- Most women will cheat because their emotional needs aren’t met. For example, if a woman feels under appreciated or is not getting what she feels she needs she will look elsewhere for it. Usually you will hear a woman say “I was ignored,” “I was lonely,” or “I had no one to talk to” when asked about her reason for cheating.

Here comes the controversial part, I don’t want you to beat yourself up for cheating on your ex boyfriend. I know you are probably thinking “Wait… WHAT?” Allow me to explain in the section below.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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You can’t beat yourself up for cheating on your ex. No doubt you hurt him…. probably really badly but feeling bad about the situation is not going to be very productive in winning back his trust. Here comes the controversial part, where I am sure I am going to be fried alive, monogamy is completely unnatural. If you strip a human being down to his/her core you are going to be left with two qualities.

  1. The Ability To Survive
  2. The Ability To Replicate

Obviously, we are going to be focusing on the second quality on this page. As I said, monogamy is completely unnatural. Down to our core we are just not monogamous creatures. In fact, it is not easy to find an animal that is. Now, I AM NOT CONDONING CHEATING at all. I am just using this fact as a reason on why you shouldn’t beat yourself up. Instead, focus your energy elsewhere like how you can get your ex back.

Do Some Soul Searching

soul searching

In this section I am going to give you your first action! YAY! You obviously cheated on your boyfriend for a reason. What I want you to do is to take out a piece of paper and list that reason down. Maybe you just didn’t like the way he was treating you, maybe it was one of the reasons I mentioned in the sections above. Whatever the case you need to be completely honest with yourself.

After you have your reason written down I want you to make a list of all the qualities that you DIDN’T like about your ex boyfriend. Why am I making you do this? Because sometimes people have a tendency to forget the bad times of the relationship and only remember the very best times. Besides, if you cheated on this person because he wasn’t giving you what you needed emotionally or physically and you might be better off trying to move on. Of course, if you make your list and still want him back then I can help you with that too.

Time To Calm Down

calm down

I am not going to lie to you, if you cheated on your ex and he broke up with you then getting him back is not going to be easy. In fact, you may have to turn to my PRO System for help.

Expect to meet some resistance in your quest to regain his trust. I am only telling you this because I want you to be prepared and I want to make sure you are up for it.

First things first, if you want any chance of getting him back you are going to have to step away for a while. What do I mean by this? Simple, don’t call, text, email, Facebook or see him in person for at least 30 days. I know that seems a bit harsh but to be honest most experts recommend 90 day no contact periods. Your first reaction, especially after knowing you did your ex wrong, is to call constantly to try and patch things up as soon as possible. That is the last thing you want to do because most likely your boyfriend is going to be extremely angry at you, in turn, making you angry as well and when emotions run high logic runs low.

Throughout this site I have recommended the 30 day no contact rule but since you are in an interesting situation I am recommending it to you for a different reason than everyone else. Usually, I am telling women to “freeze out” their ex for thirty days for their own personal healing (and to make their ex a little antsy about why you won’t call them.) However, in this case I am recommending it for an additional reason, your exes healing.

Have you ever been cheated on? If not then trust me when it say that it really hurts. You feel betrayed, not good enough and insignificant all at once. If you are thinking “but guys are tough they heal faster” that kind of logic isn’t always true. If a girl cheats on her boyfriend it is going to hurt him as much as it would hurt a girl if she found out she had been cheated on. So, by implementing a 30 day no contact rule you are going to accomplish three things.

  1. You are going to give your ex some time to heal.
  2. You are going to give yourself some time to think about if you really want him back (and time to heal.)
  3. You are going to make your ex feel a little antsy about why you aren’t calling.

What Do You Say To Someone You Cheated On?


When the time finally comes to reach out to your ex significant other what exactly are you supposed to say? How do you contact them? With a call, facebook message, text message? In this section we are going to discuss all of these issues and I tell you exactly what you need to do to put yourself on the path of redemption!

First things first, DO NOT APOLOGIZE. Not only is this a horrible way to start off but apologies don’t mean anything anymore. If you really, in your heart, want to get your ex back you are going to have to show them why you are sorry with actions. It really is, actions speak louder than words in this case. Of course, you are going to have to use words when you reach out to them and I highly recommend you do so through the power of a text message.

Texting is the preferred method of communication in this case for a number of reasons.

  1. For one, it is impossible to get angry and raise your voice through a text message.
  2. Secondly, texting is a very private thing for people. It is the best way to get someone one on one in a conversation.
  3. Thirdly, and most importantly, it gives you time to think before you send each and every text message.

I don’t recommend calling your ex because I feel it is too much too soon. You have to earn the right to call your ex boyfriend and you can do that by slowly using text messages to build up to a point where he would feel comfortable accepting your call. Think of how you would feel after someone you loved cheated on you, called you out of the blue and blitzed you with a “hey do you want to go out?” I know, it would freak me out. I recommend checking out the page on what to say during texting for more information.

Ways You Can Earn Back His Trust


You have an advantage, since I am a guy I can tell you exactly what I would like to see from a girl for me to even consider taking her back if she cheated on me. Now, I will admit that this is based on personal preference so what I would like to see from a girl who wronged me might be different from what your guy would like to see but I like to think I have a pretty good grasp on the “average” guy out there.

I have to say WOW!

Whichever way you face it, men are very visual creatures. As good of a guy as I am I still appreciate the looks of a beautiful woman. (Now, her personality could be horrible and completely turn me off but that is another story.) If I were to run into an ex and she looks horrible (gained weight, dressing horribly, etc) I would think “thank goodness I am not with her anymore.” However, if I run into an ex and she looks better than she ever looked before I am going to begin thinking “my god, she looks amazing.” As much as she may have wronged me, that will always be in the back of my mind. It is completely shallow, I know, but I promise most guys are going to have those thoughts.

A Sense That I Am Most Important (Even If I’m Not.)

Expect there to be a lot of trust issues with someone who has previously been cheated on. You are going to have to go out of your way to reassure them that you are trustworthy and the best way to do that is with your actions. This is going to be a little controversial but whoever you cheated on them with you are going to have to probably cut out of your life, that is the level of commitment you are going to have to show to your ex. Expect there to be friction any time you go out with other guys (even if you are in groups.) COMMUNICATE that every time you go out for fun with another guy that it is strictly as friends. DO NOT catch your ex (or soon to be new boyfriend 😉 ) off guard. Make sure you warn him ahead of time before you go out with another guy. I know this is a major pain, but you are going to have to do these things if you really want him back.

Slower Is Always Better Than Faster

This section is more about advice for you, take things slow. Usually, people who go too fast tend to make major mistakes that they can’t recover from. As you have probably realized, it is a slow climb up the mountain to getting your boyfriend back. Each step needs to be carefully thought out and there are no guarantees. However, the slower more tactical women usually are the ones who make it to the top.

One More Thing

I put together probably the best resource on the internet detailing every step someone should take when getting their exes back. The guide took me two months to complete and is 20,000 words long but I highly recommend that you check it out if you are interested. Find out how to get your ex back for more information.

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1,970 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

  1. Avatar

    Zawadi praise

    February 28, 2021 at 9:39 pm

    Thanks this has given me a hope coz I love him so much

  2. Avatar


    February 24, 2021 at 6:44 pm

    I cheated on my boyfriend and we tried to get back together by forcing things he wasn’t ready to get back with me ….he still hurt and he didn’t even forgave me …the time we were broken up we were seeing each other every day acting like we are still dating but now we are separated again because he didn’t forgave me , he doesn’t trust me and hes afraid of being happy with me because he thinks am gonna cheat on him again

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 3, 2021 at 10:24 am

      HiTinashe, so what you need to understand is that he is still hurting from your actions and may well need some time away from you to decide if 1 – he can forget what you did 2 – trust you again. It is a difficult situation when you want to be with someone but you don’t trust them. there is really no way you can have a healthy relationship without trust.

  3. Avatar

    Mongiwa Khumalo

    February 16, 2021 at 8:56 am

    This is very understandable, and I am sure I will get my man back if I go slow on him , thanks so much.

  4. Avatar

    Harriet Assifuah

    December 27, 2020 at 8:49 am

    I wish I can win my ex’s heart again

  5. Avatar

    Kelcie Hardesty

    December 26, 2020 at 9:31 am

    This guy & I have been together for almost 10 years. We have 2 beautiful kids together. Before he proposed to me bout 2 years ago, I had cheated on him. Cried afterwards feeling miserable and still do. I felt like he did not love me at the time. I felt unappreciated, alone etc. We barely made time for one another. So, when he proposed, I was shocked. Couple months after saying yes to the love of my life, I came clean to him because that is just not me. We worked through it & moved on. Well, bout 3 weeks ago the past was brought back up. Supposedly the guy lied to me about his whole life & his babymomma called me blowing my phone up. She later apologized to me bout lashing out at me after I told her everything. I ended up just changing my number to keep this in the past & so they have no way of contacting me again. Well, my fiance asked who I was on the phone with & I told him. He then asked me who the guy was at the time I had cheated. Since, I have told him who the guy was, he has been distant. Well, a couple months ago I had ran into that guy & met his newborn son at the gym. Mind you, that is where I had met the guy in the first place. Well, I told my fiancé about meeting his son. That is when everything blew up. Now, he is saying it is too late & that things can not be fixed & says that we are done. He told him mom that he just can not trust me right now. I feel miserable right now & I know he is must be feeling. I am depressed. I can’t really eat. No appetite. Sick to my stomach. I want to be able to fix things & prove to him that he can trust me again. I even switched gyms, changed my number, the guy is blocked on everything esp his babymomma etc. I do not know what to do at this point. I know I messed up, but I just want to make things right again. We still live together and everything. We even sleep in the same bed still, but last night he slept on the couch. I am a stay at home mom right now because the job I had was not stable. Been trying to look for a new job & have had no luck. I talked to his mom & she said that we need to look into couples counseling. All he said was okay. But, he has not given me an answer or anything. He has been distant now for 3 weeks. Barely talks to me unless it is about bills or where he is going for the day, etc. What should I do? I just want to be able to win him back & make things right. I have been giving him his time & space. It can be hard since we live together. I barely have anyone to talk to, so I am going crazy.

  6. Avatar


    November 20, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    My boyfriend and I got together shortly after separating from long term marriages. We’ve always had ups and downs, breaks and even broke up a couple of times to always go back to each other because we loved our time together so much and connected so great. It took me a couple of years to tell him I love him and at that time he could not. I felt rejected and I know I was wrong, but I cheated a couple of times. I did realize shortly that if I truly was going to be invested, I had to stop and I did. I never told him I cheated. As for him, It took him even longer to tell me I love you. Three years in. Now forward to almost 4 years, Recently, before the summer, I found he confessed that he cheated on me a few times and so I confessed to only one indiscretion which he had doubts about. I forgave him and so did he. We decided to make our relationship work and truly invest. He said he wanted us to make this work and not lose me. That he was in love with me. These past few months have been great. He was always expressing it to me, but a few nights ago, we came to talking again and he said he wanted us to continue, but that we needed to completely be honest with each other. He confessed to a health issue and of spite I told him I had a couple more indiscretions prior to him telling me he loved me. I was scared to tell him before but that he was right and we had to be true to each other. He said he’d understand. He wanted to move on. But when I told him this. He said he needed time to think and we’d talk the next day. The next day, He broke up with me. Said something was missing and he had to be selfish and let this relationship go. That we shouldn’t have done this to each other and things should’ve always been easier and that we can do better. He said he never trusted me and that all the great moments weren’t enough anymore. Me keeping us together wasn’t enough anymore. He wants no communication but said I’m not deleting your number before he left. I haven’t reached out to give him space. It’s been 3 days. What I don’t understand is, I forgave him. Why couldn’t he? Do you think he just needs time? No contact and maybe someday get back together. I learned a long time ago I did wrong. He said he did too. This was in the past. We were so good lately. Why did he act like it was done yesterday to him and couldn’t move on. He had lied to me just like I did. But we hadn’t lately. Please help. Can we get back together?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 9, 2020 at 6:07 pm

      Hi Bei, I think the first thing you need to realise is that when he confessed to a health issue, he was not expecting you to tell him that you had cheated again (to him this is the second time) and it has hurt him. Likely because he was being venerable with you when he expressed he had a health problem. I would accept that right now he needs space from you and is likely going over what you have recently told him in his head. I would start by following the programs no contact rule for 30 days and then start reaching out from there once you have read more articles about texting. Chris has many examples on how to reach out to an ex after NC so be sure to spend some time working out which you think is going to be best for your ex.

  7. Avatar


    November 20, 2020 at 12:06 pm


    Me and my ex were together for just over a year. Before we had the “official” chat, I did ‘cheat’. Although we weren’t technically together, it betrayed his trust. He didn’t find out until almost a year later so the break up was hard.

    We have been broke up now since March, so for 9 months. It started him being angry, then we said we’d try and see if we could fix things but it was during lockdown so we couldn’t see each other. He said he couldn’t do it anymore and since then we’ve carried on speaking most days, sleeping together, spending time together occasionally, but he has now said he just wants to be friends.

    Is there anything I can do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 15, 2020 at 9:18 pm

      Hi Kaite, yes there is but it means that you need to start following the program – this means following a no contact period for one. Read about the friends with benefits articles and how to get your ex back when you’ve slept with them. Also the texting articles ready for when you have completed your No Contact

  8. Avatar

    Sarah Joe

    November 1, 2020 at 12:58 am

    My now ex & myself have been in a relationship for 2 years but friends for 10 years now, we have been through a lot of ups & downs and I am the only person he has ever opened up to a 100%, he knows me a 100% as well and we always supported each other in everything. Emotionally I am in a very low place because we had to abort our child because we were not ready to have a baby financially as he was still doing his degree and mine was a contract job, we did not have a house yet as well.

    Then one day he just came and lost feelings for me, I cried and begged him and told him I can’t be with anyone else except him that I will always love him only. He said he is emotionally numb as he has too many things on his plate and the “fire” has died down. He was unsure if he could love me again or if he would find someone else. I was very broke for a month but we remained in touch as friends. I was hurt & angry, was not thinking so when a guy friend of mine was flirting with me over text I reciprocate but I had no intentions to take it further or even meet in person, I just like that attention for those 3 days then I stopped texting.

    My ex boyfriend saw the texts and became very upset & angry that I did this to him. He wanted to do some soul searching, complete his degree and find a job so that we can be happy, saying he knew he could never find anyone who loved him as much as I did and kept me very high up on a pedestal saying I would never ever hurt him like the others. His previous ex girlfriend cheated on him so this flirting via text by me broke his trust & he views it as betrayal, that I cheated his feelings or the image he had of me.

    Now he feels that the 2 years he spent with me is all a waste, doesn’t think he can ever trust me again & feels that it is a gamble for him if he wants to let me in and be his girlfriend because how sure can he be that I would not do this. But during our relationship we never had such issues, always trusted each other 100% but because our breakup did not have solid reason except for him losing feelings, he felt that what I did is still betrayal.

    Now I don’t know what to do, I love him & only him and I feel very dumb for throwing away my chances with him like this for some cheap attention. Will I be able to gain back his trust & make him love me again? Do we have any chances of getting back together?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 1, 2020 at 10:53 am

      Hi Sarah… so first things first, you were broken up when the guy friend was texting you so your ex has NO right to be angry with you for that!! It may have been soon, but you were not in a relationship.

      As for getting him back, yes there is a chance from what you have said, but it is going to take time and patience. Plenty of emotional control and understanding the program. You start with a no contact and work on yourself in that time, allowing him to work on himself and have some space to think, miss you and let him realise he is going to lose you. Then after your 30 days no contact, you can start reaching out with the texts that Chris suggests in his articles.

  9. Avatar


    October 19, 2020 at 12:40 am

    Cheated on my sons dad while he was away in jail for 2 years . When he found out he left me and went to my childhood friend for comfort and ended up sleeping with him thinking it would make my depression go away. I thought it did for a while, I started treating my sons dad like I didn’t care about him and he came back but I continued to see my friend as he was physically there we spent most of our time out rather then sex for 3 months. Then it stopped. My sons dad got out and asked have I been with someone else. I was honest . Since then he stayed around to be a family but he told me he did not want a relationship. He became cold and distant . Now we are off and on good and bad terms, The longest we have been away from each other is 2-3 weeks and this has been going on for 3 months now. I haven’t successfully tired the 30 day no contact . The longest I did was 4 days only about the kid and he would continue to call and tell me sweet things until I gave in. Now he is back living at my place , I cook every night , stay home with the baby. I do everything right to prove my love. Sometimes he’s sweet then sometimes I feel things trigger him to what I have done. Why does he continue to be around me and live with me if he does not want a relationship? I regret everything so much . We planned to get married Before he went to jail , but now that hasn’t been on his mind. He gave promises of giving me one so I can stay with him and now he denies that he has ever said it and does not want to ever get married. he would come home with flowers for me and help around the house. Just do a lot of things to show his love and appreciation. I know he has been with different girls i don’t know how many and it hurts to know that when he goes out that’s what he may be doing. Although, we are no together. He still sleeps in my bed every night. I just wish he could see the good all I have provided and done for him up until now I was there. It’s like he doesn’t see that . He says he still loves me but that is not enough. I’m afraid my chances back with him may be low. I may be viewed as his sons mother forever.

  10. Avatar


    October 17, 2020 at 4:29 pm

    On the beginning of the year I cheated on my boyfriend and since I felt alot of guilt I decided to tell him everything…he was hurt but we still went on dating. I started flirting through text s with various guys and he found out. He started changing the way he treated me but we were still together ..I felt he was becoming distant and I realised that I really love him until July this year we decided to part ways but I feel I need him more than before…I did the no contact thing and I missed him more than before…what do I do to get him back. I love him alot

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 19, 2020 at 11:26 pm

      I would suggest that you think about why you feel the need to flirt and text other guys when you are in a relationship with someone you say you love. There is something you are lacking to make you look for attention from else where. I would suggest that you end your relationship and work on yourself for some time as you do not love someone if you are willing to cheat on them again after having a second chance.

  11. Avatar


    September 29, 2020 at 10:36 pm

    I’m in a long distance relationship and Im away at college and I cheated last night I feel extremely guilty and terrible. The next morning I told him because I felt like he deserved the truth. He is heartbroken. We have been dating for a year and talked about marriage and we barely fought or anything. I don’t want to loose him. I love him very much. What can I say to prove myself and to make him feel better.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 4, 2020 at 9:15 pm

      Hi Lauren I would say that you need to be patient with your boyfriend and give him some time to process how he feels right now. IF he chooses to end the relationship you have to accept this and go into a No Contact for at least 30 days before reaching out again

  12. Avatar


    September 16, 2020 at 7:05 pm

    Hi, back in 2016 I cheated on my ex bf during my 2 weeks vacation in Philippines. I love still love him soo much after 4 yrs, but because of my strict mom forced me to date different guy, I had to break up with my ex. How do I win him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 16, 2020 at 7:33 pm

      Hi Luna, I understand it is hard when you have a parent who is controlling, but remember it is YOUR life so you need to also do what is going to make you happy on some level! I would suggest that you reach out to your ex and start a conversation and see if there is a connection there again. Use the articles to help you understand the styles of texting you need to be reaching out with

  13. Avatar


    September 15, 2020 at 4:10 am

    I have been with my now ex boyfriend for about a year. A friend set us up at college and it has been the best, strongest relationship. We both love each other so much and were truly so happy every time we were together. We tackled distance for a bit during quarantine and still made it work. Over this summer I became friends with this guy from an online class and the friendship grew very quickly. We texted throughout the day and night and had phone calls too. But I never saw it more than a friendship because I had a boyfriend and my friend knew that. It really upset my boyfriend that we were talking so much because he thought there was something more, as in me liking him, when there never was. I told him I would stop and he trusted that. It didn’t stop because I did not know how because it was just a friendship. I ended up going to meet my friend in person for the first time because I did not want to continue a friendship that had no in person connection. I did this behind my boyfriends back when I should have told him about it. When I was there a kiss happened then I left. I was so surprised I didn’t know what to think. I called my boyfriend right after and still did not tell him what I did when I should have but he somehow already knew. Everything was fine until I saw my boyfriend a few days ago and he confronted me about the trip. At first I did lie and say it wasn’t true which was wrong. Then I confessed what happened and he read my messages between me and the guy and my best friend as well. He also texted the guy friend after I gave the number about the visit and that’s how he found out about the kiss. Once he found out about the kiss my boyfriend was so betrayed and could not believe I cheated on him. I tried telling him that it was nothing because it was nothing and because all trust is gone he did not believe me. I should have been honest and straight forward but I wasn’t I just kept lying. He is obviously very hurt and yet still wants to be friends. We have talked everyday and I even sat down and wrote out what happened truly and why I lied and went to visit him behind his back. Also after that I unadded and blocked the guy friend on everything. After I read that to him he still was very hurt about the text messages and said that he does not want to get my hopes up and think we are going to get back together. he told me we will not date ever again which hurts yet we agreed to take it day by day as friends to gain trust back. I know he said that he does not want to date again but I feel like just said that because he is hurt at the moment. I told him that you never know how we will feel in a few months or a year. I told him if our relationship was that strong we could work this out but he does not want to, for him cheating crossed the line. I want him back so badly and I love him so much what should I do or what can I do to get my person back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 4, 2020 at 7:03 pm

      Hi Grace, it really is difficult to gain someone’s trust back once broken and this is possibly something that is going to take time. This also includes not speaking to the guy you kissed again either as clearly your ex was worried for a reason. I suggest that you give your ex some time to calm down and read about the holy trinity on this website and how to get your ex investing into talking to you again. This process can take time so you are going to have to learn to be patient

  14. Avatar


    September 8, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    I cheated on my bf with my ex but it wasn’t super serious but he was hurt And he broke up with me and found someone else he was interested in within two days even though he told me later on he wants to TRY but then tell me he doesn’t want to anymore now idk what to do because I don’t wanna give up, he’s scared I’ll hurt him again and I know I won’t

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    September 3, 2020 at 8:18 pm

    I’m Just scared cause I hurt him so much and I don’t want him to leave me cause I love him so much I don’t even know what to do , I have never seen him this hurt before and I did that

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 6, 2020 at 11:01 am

      Hi Lydia, so if you’ve hurt him you do not mention what your actions were. So, based on what little information I have I would say that you need to work on 30 days NC where you focus on yourself and be sure not to repeat actions that hurt your ex. Then reach out after those 30 days understanding that your ex may still be angry / hurt so it can take time to get them talking to you again

  16. Avatar


    August 12, 2020 at 12:49 pm

    Hi I cheated on my bf by talking to other guy but its just casual chatting no affair involve, but he found out and now we broke up I still love him and I want to make up for my mistakes but he does not contact me anymore.

  17. Avatar


    August 12, 2020 at 12:26 am

    I was with my boyfriend for 1.5 years and since January I’ve been feeling really neglected by him. I always loved being with him but he just seemed too comfortable and stopped trying. We went 7 months without having sex and that drove me nuts. He said he “didn’t have time.” During the quarantine we didn’t see each other and I hooked up with a guy. I deeply regret it and tried to take it to the grave. Once quarantine was over my boyfriend and I finally had sex. Turns out the guy I hooked up with gave me chlamydia so I passed it onto my boyfriend and he obviously broke up with me. I want him back so badly. I promised myself I would never make that same mistake again and I want to make things right with my ex but I’m scared he’s done with me. He did say that maybe we can be friends in the future which seems like a good sign. I just don’t know if he can recover from that. Is there a way for me to make him understand that what I did was a cry for help bc I felt neglected? If we get back together I don’t want him making the same mistakes again either. I also don’t know what to say once the 30 days are up. How do I start that first conversation?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 15, 2020 at 3:22 pm

      Hey Maddy, there are many articles and videos to help you how to start a conversation with your ex, make sure you read through a few or watch a few before reaching out to your ex

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    July 20, 2020 at 10:50 am

    I cheated on my boyfriend in the past ever since then it has been hell for me, he always accuse me of cheating and always accuses me of masturbation too which am clearly dont doing…. I have owned up to my mistake in the past many times he will not still stop accusing me now am confused i dont know what to do again !!! I NEED ADVICE PLEASE I REALLY LOVE HIM AND I DON’T WANT TO LOSE HIM…PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 25, 2020 at 8:10 pm

      Hi Sandra, the issue is that your ex is now paranoid and does not trust you. This is something that you need to sit and discuss with him. If he can not trust you then the relationship is never going to work no matter what you do. He needs to choose to put this behind him or walk away

  19. Avatar

    Joy Cee

    July 10, 2020 at 4:15 pm

    I do not really cheat on my boyfriend, we had issue and we do not talk to each other for a month, then during this process his friend asked me out. And I told his friend that it will be foolish of me to date you knowing that you’re my boyfriend friend even if we are no longer together again I can’t fate you because you are his friend and you guys are staying in the same room. So later on I and my boyfriend come back together again, my boyfriend friend was shocked seeing us together again. Later the next day that my boyfriend friend called me on phone that “hope all his conversation with me are save? And I asked him why he say so!! Then he reply that he wouldn’t want my boyfriend to notice that he asked me out, that let us assume it does not happen, because if he found out it, it will not be funny. He never new that I’m recording the call, and even I have vomited every to my guys that very night we come back together. So what am saying is this, i and my boyfriend come back again at that time, then later somethings came up that let my guy friend get to find out that I’ve disclosed everything to my boyfriend on how he ask me out, you remember earlier that when i mention he said it’s not gonna be funny if he found out. So I don’t know what lies he says to my boyfriend because they are staying together. So that was how my boyfriend go mudy on me, he doesn’t talk to me even if I talk to him he will not respond, if he even manage to respond it is going to be negative. So I’m suspecting that guy, my boyfriend friend, when he said that it’s not gonna be funny if he found out that I tell my boyfriend about our conversation. Later my boyfriend accuses me of stolen his money when I visit him, and he knows me that I can’t do such a thing by taking his money without his permissions, and truly that period I lost my job but I wasn’t the one who took his money.
    I have try to find out from my boyfriend but all he told me was that he do not love me again, but I can see it in him that he still like me. I try to visit him sometimes but he kept rejecting me and tell me not to waste my time on him, but though he still talk to me maybe he’s going out in case of the door. I wrote him a later that if he want me happy then he should stop saying that I’m wasting my time or he should not let me go.
    One of his friend went on awear of me pleading him on my behave, but he was still emphasizing on what happen between me and his friend,.

    I still love him and have him in my mind, i really want him back in my life.
    Because he’s a very nice person, he’s too real, perfect and cares about my future, I have never since I started dating, date his kind before.
    I love him and am missing him, since before lockdown of this global pandemic of corona virus at that march month, me and my boyfriend has been in this issues.
    Thanks so much for this privilege.

  20. Avatar


    June 30, 2020 at 12:09 pm

    I cheated on my boyfriend and he caught me. We’re 8 yrs together, I felt like I was ignored, I’m asking his time always, but when he caught me, I figured it all out, was it me that I was wrong? Like didn’t I see that he’s making his best to give me time?

    2nd I’m always the one who go to their house, I love him, I really do, it’s just I blame myself for seeking more that resulted to cheating 🙁 I cheated for one year, but the other guy is from another country.

    Now we broke up but still have communication, he’s still talking to me, asking me why, but I’m here, patiently answering him back and apologizing that I’m really sorry for what i did. I really wanna win him back, to rebuild his trust again.

    He wants to talk to me thru phone call, we’re both crying sometimes, he doesn’t want me to go, but there are times like he seems to push me away, but I stand still because I want to fix everything and win our relationship back again. We just talked today like more than an hour, talking about everything, and I kept on enlighting him that we can make it through and start over again

    Any advices, what am I going to say or answer if he asks me “why”
    How to comfort him when he’s crying? (I cant help myself but cry too when he’s crying :’()
    Please help 🙁 I want to win him back

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 3, 2020 at 11:34 pm

      Hey Iels, so you need to be honest as to why you cheated, its going to hurt him, but once you have answered this fully as to why you cheated. Then explain that you regret your actions and are sorry. But you do not think it is healthy to go around in the same circle, so you want to work on him forgiving you and working past it, or you need to take some time apart so that he can deal with the emotions he has right now. You NEED to go into a No contact if he does not want to be together and reaches out to you again about “why”. And this is going to be hard, you MUST stick with your No Contact for at least 30 days

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