By Chris Seiter

Updated on March 8th, 2021

Here’s an interesting situation.

Lets say that you and your boyfriend go through a breakup (arguably one of the most emotional experiences a human being can go through.) During the breakup talk your (now) ex boyfriend mentions that he believes you cheated on him.

Now, you being very proud of how faithful you are in relationships immediately deny this accusation from your ex but no matter how many times you insist that you are innocent in this your ex simply won’t believe you.

So, you decide to do a little detective work to find out why your ex believes that you were unfaithful.

You: Hey, why do you think I was unfaithful?

Your Ex: I saw your phone conversation with Derek.

(Side Note: Derek has been your good guy friend since childhood. The two of you have a certain amount of rapport with each other and sometimes this “rapport” can be viewed as flirting but the two of you are just friends and nothing else.)

You: What phone conversation?

Your Ex: You know, the one where you called him “hun.”

(Another Side Note: You pretty much call everyone “hun” who you interact with. Pet names are kind of your thing.)

So, now that you have more insight into why your ex boyfriend believes that you cheated on him (even though you didn’t) how can you,

A. Convince him that you didn’t cheat on him.

B. Get him back.

Well, that is what we are going to explore on this page.

Welcome to the ultimate guide to getting an ex boyfriend back if he thinks you cheated on him but you really didn’t.

The Outline Of This Guide

outline your text

If you aren’t too familiar with Ex Boyfriend Recovery (this website) then I would like to inform you that usually at the beginning of every article or guide that I write I like to include a brief outline. I do this because I think it is helpful for people skimming to understand how my pages are going to flow.

Well, this page is no exception.

I am not going to do anything to re-invent the wheel here but I still feel its important to stay on top of things so we have a clear path to follow when we are talking about a complex situation like this.

Speaking of the cheating situation at hand lets talk a little bit about the sections I am going to be covering today.

After 4 days of planning this guide I have decided to divide this page up into three sections. Each of these sections is meant to really take an in-depth look at everything that is going through an exes mind (assuming he thinks you cheated on him when you really didn’t) and teach you the things you need to do to raise your chances of getting him back.

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Lets take a look at the sections now,

  1. Understanding How Your Ex Defines Cheating
  2. Insight Into Him And His False Assumption
  3. Overcoming His False Assumption

Pretty cool, huh?

Well, lets not waste time here and lets get to our first section.

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Section One: Understanding How Your Ex Defines Cheating

cheating on me

This guide revolves heavily around cheating.

Specifically a situation where your ex boyfriend believes that you cheated on him when you really didn’t.

So, before we can really take a look at his insecurities and feelings around his false assumption we must first understand what your ex boyfriend believes cheating to be.

Now, on the surface it seems like a pretty simple question.

“What is cheating defined as?”

The problem is that things get a lot more complex when you take into account that every single person walking this earth has their own unique definition for cheating.

For example, my personal definition of cheating may be different than yours.

Oh, and then you can add another layer of complexity into the equation when you take “emotional cheating” into account.

Do you see why a simple question like,

“What is cheating defined as?”

can be a little difficult to answer.

So, from your perspective the only thing that matters is how your ex boyfriend defines cheating.

Lets take a look at that now.

I Am The Benchmark For Your Ex Boyfriends Beliefs


Would you like to know the thing that separates Ex Boyfriend Recovery from all the other ex recovery websites out there?

One word…


Yup, I am the bridge between the mind of a woman into the mind of a man.

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I am one of the foremost authorities on understand men.

Want to know why?


I think like they think…

I have the fears that they have…

Heck, I even have the same feelings that they have…

Basically what I am getting at here is that I think like your ex boyfriend so I am the ultimate benchmark for understanding his beliefs on cheating. So, what I would like to do now is share my own personal beliefs on cheating which I believe I have shared once before here but I am going to share them again below so you can gain insight into what your ex boyfriend will consider as “cheating.”

Oh, but before I get into that I do want to have a quick discussion on the levels of cheating.

Not All Cheating Is Created Equally


I guess the first thing that I would like to talk about is the fact that not all cheating is created equally.

What do I mean by this?

Simple, a woman who has an emotional affair with a man is going to be forgiven a lot easier than a woman who has a physical affair with one.

So, what we are going to do now is go down the list of what I (and by default, your ex) considers to be cheating and I will talk about how hard it will be for a man to forgive in each instance. Remember, we are operating under the assumption that your ex thinks you cheated on him so understanding his willingness to forgive will give you insight to how angry he is with you and how hard it will be to convince him that you didn’t actually cheat on him.

Cheating Factor #1- Sleeping With Someone Else

I started out with a bang… (pun intended.)

Look, having sex with someone else who isn’t your significant is the ultimate betrayal to your significant other.

It’s bad.

I mean, there is a reason why women who sleep around on their boyfriend have the hardest time in getting him back.

Oh, and lets not forget that it’s also going to be the hardest thing for your ex to forgive. So, if your ex thinks that you cheated on him by sleeping with someone else you are going to have your work cut out for you in convincing him otherwise.

Cheating Factor #2- Kissing Someone Else

Ok, this is a step down from actually sleeping with someone else but not much farther down.

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I would be absolutely livid if someone I was dating kissed someone else.

Oh, and just so I am crystal clear about this I am not talking about a kiss on the cheek. I am talking about a bonafide kiss on the lips,

kiss on th elips
That means that I don’t consider a kiss on the cheek to be cheating (technically.) But I will tell you I would be furious is someone I was dating initiated it to a really handsome man.

Anyways, lets talk a little about the forgiveness factor with a kiss on the lips.

If you could chart a man’s anger in relation to how he was cheated on then his girlfriend sleeping with someone else would be a 10 out of 10.

A kiss would be an 8 out of 10.

What does this mean?

It means that forgiveness won’t be easy to achieve but much more possible than if he thinks you slept with someone else.

Cheating Factor #3- Hardcore Flirting (You’ll See What I Mean If You Read)

Imagine that the two of us are dating.

You enjoy your relationship with me and I enjoy my relationship with you.

Of course, lately you have been feeling a little lonely in the relationship so you decide to engage some light flirting with one of your guy friends. Eventually the flirting leads to heavier topics like sex, telling each other that you miss one another, sending naked pictures back and forth.

You know, typical stuff.

(I am rolling my eyes right now if you can’t tell.)

You haven’t done anything wrong, right?


I consider this to be cheating.

If you tell another man that is not me that you miss him, that you want to have sex with him or you send him naked pictures then I consider it to be cheating.


Because the intention is there.

Whose to say if I wasn’t around one day that you won’t invite him over and go to town (metaphorically speaking.)

Now, since there is no actual physical cheating going on the anger level isn’t going to be as high as if there was.

6-7 out of 10 depending on what is said during the hardcore flirting.

Cheating Factor #4- Couple Photos With Other Men

Take a look at the picture below,

Surely this couple is dating, right?


Lets imagine that we are dating again.

And lets say that one day I log on to Facebook and I am greeted with this picture in my feed.

You posted the picture…

And that guy is not me…

Oh, in case you have a sudden onset of blindness this is a picture of you holding hands with another guy very romantically.

How bout this one?

hugging couple
Look, some guys are ok with other men passionately hugging their girlfriends but I am not.

What’s more if you look at the picture above it doesn’t look like the girl is hating the hug.

I find these couple like pictures disrespectful to the man in the relationship if the man is the one in them.

You know what I am saying?

Anyways, the anger level here is going to be a 5 or 6 out of a 10.

Definitely easier to recover from this accusation. I think a mans trust is hurt more than anything in this particular instance.

Section Two: Insight Into Him And His False Assumption

The first thing I would like to cover today has to do with insecurity.

I am about to deliver some earth shattering news to you…

Your ex boyfriend is insecure.

Heck, every man I know has some weird insecurity.

Take me for example.

After seeing women who actually did cheat on their boyfriends I am terrified of it.

This makes me a little insecure when my wife talks to other men outside of work. It’s not that I don’t trust her (she is very trustworthy) it’s just that I don’t want to ever experience the pain of being cheated on so it makes me a little more prone to jealousy than I need to be.

Here is the funny thing though.

For the longest time I used to think I was alone in this irrational fear of being cheated on until I mentioned it to a few friends of mine.

My one friend had a wife who cheated on him eight times understood my fear.

My other friend who had a girlfriend of six years (at the time) mentioned that he wouldn’t know what to do if he caught his girlfriend being unfaithful.

This got me thinking.

Do all men have this fear of being cheated on?

Do All Men Worry About Being Cheated On?


Do you want the short answer or the long answer?

How about both?

Short Answer = Yes

Long Answer = Gonna need some explaining

The question we are asking here is do all men worry about being cheated on by their significant others?

Lets just assume that all men do.

I mean, if you were to walk up to the average person on the street and ask him or her,

“Would you like it if your significant other cheated on you?”

Something tells me that the person you asked would say NO.

Well, when it comes to men you aren’t going to find one that isn’t at least a little afraid of it. However, there are certain factors that come into play that can make him more afraid of it.

Lets pretend that you are grading a mans fear of being cheated on, on a scale from a 1 to a 5.

With a 1 being that a man isn’t too scared of being cheated on and a 5 being that he is absolutely terrified of it to an unhealthy extent.

Each man is going to have his own specific subconscious number.

This number is going to be affected by other factors as well.

Take my friend who was cheated on by his wife (8 times.) Well, this ruined him for future relationships because he was always on Red Alert for cheating. In other words, his fear of being cheated on was at a 5 at all times.

I have a feeling that, that is what we are dealing with here if your ex boyfriend thinks you cheated on him when you really didn’t.

We are dealing with a man who is at a 4 or 5 on the suspicion scale and may have been actively looking for things that make you look like you are cheating on him. For example, maybe he cracks your Facebook password one day and decides to take a stroll through your Facebook messages and finds some flirty messages between you and a friend (a guy friend) and makes some very wrong assumptions about the two of you.

This brings me to my next point.

His false assumption.

His Fear Of Being Cheated On And His False Assumption

bannanas meme

Lets say that your ex boyfriend has a bad fear of being cheated on.

In fact, this fear is so deeply ingrained in his mind that he feared it long before you came along. Now, lets back up to the courtship phase of your relationship where both of you were feeling each other out to see if you wanted to be in a relationship with one another.

Generally speaking during this feeling out process you kind of give cliff notes of your past relationships.

Nothing too in-depth (for fear of hurt feelings) but it’s natural to be curious about a persons past right.

Now, lets say that your ex boyfriend (during the courtship phase) asked you if you had ever cheated on a boyfriend before.


Now that’s an interesting question.

Anytime a man asks you that he is trying to determine if history is going to repeat itself again where you cheat on him.

Of course, since you don’t believe in lying during moments like this you decide to tell the truth.

“Yes, I did cheat one time on a boyfriend. It was just a kiss and nothing else.”

You then go on to describe the horrible boyfriend you had and how you just couldn’t figure out how to escape him so you cheated as a way of dealing with the pain.

Now, upon hearing this your ex boyfriend (that you haven’t dated yet) seems unfazed. However, the inside of his head tells a different story.

It starts off as a really light thought like,

“I wonder if she will do that to me if I date her?”

Again, its a really light thought that he doesn’t pay much attention to.

Lets fast forward a few months to when he actually does date you and his fears of being cheated on start to manifest.

Lets say that you have been dating him for around 6 months and in those 6 months the two of you have gotten extremely close to one another and with that closeness his fear of being cheated on has slowly started to manifest itself.

In case you didn’t know.

To a man being cheated on by a woman you don’t care about isn’t as hurtful as being cheated on by a woman you care about deeply.

It’s possible your ex could be having thoughts like,

“My god… If she ever cheated on me it would hurt 100 times more now.”

His fear of being cheated on can manifest itself in many ways.

How It Can Manifest Itself?

Again, usually this fear starts out very light and then as time moves on (and the two of you become closer) you start to see him do things that are out of character.

For example, he will ask more specific questions about your past cheating experience which eventually will lead him to spying on you through your phone or Facebook and ultimately end up with him doing some very questionable things like causing fights (over you cheating) or accusing you of cheating when you really haven’t.

Lets talk a little about that now.

His false assumption that you cheated on him.

What You Need To Know About His False Assumption

ego meme

I guess the first thing that I want to tell you is that his false assumption about you cheating on him is partly his fault and partly your fault.

Now, I know what you are thinking.


Well, it’s your fault because you did something to make him think you cheated on him.

Granted, it’s probably not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things but to him in this moment it is.

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that the two of us are dating and I end up falsely accusing you of cheating on me because I picked up your phone one day and stumbled across a message like this between you and one of your guy friends,

Screen Shot 2015-06-02 at 5.34.31 PM

Remember, this is a text message that is just between you and a guy friend.

The two of you haven’t kissed, hugged or even had any type of physical contact.

In other words, no cheating occurred at all.

Of course, when I read the text message I don’t look at it like an innocent encounter between two friends.

You see, in my mind I look at it like two people who have feelings for each other.


Because the only way I would tell a woman that I “missed her” would be if I had feelings for her. So, hearing a woman tell it to another man makes me go insane and raises a few red flags.

So, you can see that innocent little things like the text message above can be taken the wrong way by a boyfriend who is looking for evidence against you.

This leads me to my next point.

Why Your Ex May Be At Fault For Falsely Accusing You Of Cheating

Before I get into the meat of this small section I want you to take a moment and re-read the section before this one.

The one entitled:

His Fear Of Being Cheated On And His False Assumption

The whole point of that section is to explain to you how a mans fear of being cheated on can take control of his life in certain instances.

In fact, it can take so much control of him that he will actively start searching for evidence that proves you are cheating (even if you haven’t done anything to warrant such a search.)

This makes him finding something elementary like a text between two friends exchanging pleasantries much worse than it really is.

This is his fault.

In my experience this is how most false accusations come about.

It’s a combination of a man being controlled by his fear coupled with something that a woman did to light the fuse of the accusation.

In those cases where the accusation is false I am going to go out on a limb here and say that its more his fault than yours since the evidence he finds on you is kind of lame.

SECTION THREE: How To Overcome His False Accusation


Have you ever tried to reason with a mentally disturbed person?

If you have then you know that it is extremely difficult.

I am taken back to that movie “The Sixth Sense.”

Have you ever seen that movie?

If not, you should invest a few hours and watch it, it’s pretty good.

Anyways, at the beginning of the movie Bruce Willis and his wife are celebrating him getting an award (since he is a prominent child psychologist.)

bruce willis wife

Looks like everything is going pretty great for our main man Bruce!

He has a great career for which he just got honored for and it looks like his wife is incredibly turned on by it. She grabs him by the hand and takes him upstairs.


Looks like our man Bruce is about to get lucky!

However, just when he is about to strip his wife notices that their bedroom window is broken and in the connecting bathroom the camera pans over to a very disturbed grown man,

disturbed man

The man, pictured above, has stripped to his underwear and keeps yelling at Willis for letting him down.

Turns out the man above is a mentally disturbed former patient of our favorite child psychologist (Bruce Willis.)

So, Willis does what any self respecting psychologist does in that instance.

He tries to reason with him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t help you…”

“I can try to help you now…”

These are Willis’ last words just before he is shot and killed by the mentally disturbed man,

vincent gun

Now, I bet your are wondering how the heck this all ties in to overcoming a false accusation from an ex boyfriend.

Good question.

Well, trying to reason with an ex boyfriend who has falsely accused you of cheating is a lot like trying to reason with a gun wielding mentally disturbed person.

One wrong step and you get shot.

Except instead of physically like in Bruce Willis’ case you are going to get shot emotionally.

That’s what this section is here for.

I am going to teach you how to properly overcome a situation where you have been falsely accused.

Point A = Anger, Point B = Forgiveness

We are going to start this section with a pretty big assumption.

Your ex boyfriend is angry at you.


The man thinks you cheated on him so of course he is angry about it.

What we are attempting to do is to take him from point A (where he is angry) to point B (where he is no longer angry and is willing to forgive you.)


I don’t think I am explaining this properly.

Ok, take a look at the graphic below,

A to B line

As you can see point A of the line is where your ex boyfriend is at right now.

He believes you cheated on him and is extremely angry with you.

Basically he is the mentally disturbed guy with the gun in the example I gave above.

So, how can you move him from point A of the line to point B?

Good question.

There are certain things you can do to lead him along the correct path.

Lets look a few of those now,

A to B line

You will notice that in this graphic there are three new additions to the “A to B” line.

Those new additions are,

  1. Time
  2. Stopping Behavior
  3. Evidence

What do these additions mean and how can we employ them to help your ex boyfriend believe you when you say that you didn’t cheat on him?

Let’s find out!


time meme

Remember at the beginning of this section I mentioned that we are going to start operating under a certain assumption.

Do you remember what this assumption was?

The Assumption = Your ex boyfriend is super angry at you.

Now, I know what I am about to say isn’t exactly earth shattering advice and I have probably given it on other articles but anger isn’t a permanent emotion.

I know some people can hold grudges for a long time but no one can stay angry at the same level forever.

Let me give you an example.

I was furious when I found out that my ex girlfriend was flirting with another guy but the level of anger I had in the moment where I found out that she was flirting with another dude did not hold.

Around the same time the next week I was still upset about it but I was nowhere near the level I was at when I initially found out.

You can’t expect your ex boyfriend to be very receptive of anything you are saying initially after he finds out that you cheated (even though you really didn’t.)

The smarter play would be to let some time pass and let his anger suppress a bit.

Now, I don’t want you thinking that if you wait long enough his anger will go away completely.

It won’t.

In fact, he will still probably be furious.

HOWEVER, him being at a 6 on the anger scale as opposed to a 10 is a much better place to make progress in regards to forgiveness.

How Much Time Can Go By For His Anger Level To Subside?

How much time is enough?

Well, it’s not a day…

Heck, it’s not even a week.

If I were you I would let two weeks go by before you start in with the hardcore convincing.

Now, here is an interesting little twist to this.

Lets say that you say to yourself,

“I am just going to let him be alone for a couple of weeks. I won’t call him or bother him at all. I am going to let his anger go down.”

Well, what if you did all that and let him be by himself for two weeks but around day 7 or 8 you find that he is constantly texting you or calling you.

This is his subtle way of letting you know that he may be ready for the next steps of this process.

So, if you find that you use a shortened version of the no contact rule and your ex is constantly contacting you almost begging for you to apolgoize to him for your fake cheating then it’s his weird way of telling you that his anger has subsided a bit and he wants to see you beg for him back.

But your not going to do that.

Instead you are going to do something much more clever.

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Stopping The Behavior


Actions speak louder than words.

Fans of Ex Boyfriend Recovery know that I am a huge fan of that phrase.


Because in my opinion actions DO speak louder than words.

When it’s all said and done words are just words and while words are important they aren’t as powerful as someone who takes action.

For example, if we were dating and I were to tell you that I love you then I am sure you would feel pretty good about it.

However, if I were to show you that I love you by taking you on elaborate trips, spoiling you rotten and taking care of you in every way you would have ever wanted a man to take care of you (assuming that you wanted to be taken care of) something tells me that you would feel better about that when compared to me just telling you I loved you.

I guess what I am saying here is that actions speak louder than words.

Ok, now that we have that little explanation out of the way lets turn our attention to the task at hand.

Our job here is to move from point A on the graph above where your ex is angry at you because he thinks you cheated on him to point B on the graph where he forgives you.

Well, in order to do that effectively you are going to have to take a pretty massive action.

What action are you going to have to take?


How can I put this.

Your ex boyfriend is clearly peeved at you because he thinks you cheated on him when you really didn’t. That means that you did something to make him think that.

I need you to locate the behavior that you engaged in that made him think that you cheated on him and stop that behavior.

For the sake of this article I am going to just pretend that he looked through your phone and caught you flirting with a male friend.

Well, in this particular instance the best way to “stop the behavior” is to cut off all contact with that male friend.

Now, I know that you may not be so thrilled with this because you are losing out on a friendship with the male friend but sometimes a sacrifice has to be made for the greater good.

Besides if you were to cut off contact with that male friend permanently that is something that you could mention to your ex boyfriend down the road that can make him go,

“Wow, I mean so much to her that she is willing to do that just for me.”

Trust me…

Mean love to feel they are gods gift to the world.

Lets move on to the most important action you can take to move from point A to point B.

Have Evidence In Your Favor


These things always work better when I give examples so I am going to construct a little scenario for you.

Lets pretend that you took a picture with a guy friend and made it your profile picture on Facebook while you were dating your boyfriend.

Just to give you a more visual representation lets pretend that the picture below is the one that was taken with you and your guy friend,

Now, your ex boyfriend sees that you have made this picture your profile picture on Facebook and immediately becomes very angry with you.

In fact, he becomes so angry that he suspects that you are cheating on him and breaks up with you.

Of course, you react the way any woman in your position reacts.

You become extremely desperate and try to win him back.

You try everything.




No matter what you try you seem to fail.

That’s when you stumble across this article and start following it’s advice.


You let time go by in the form of the no contact rule.

Stopping Behavior

You take down the profile picture (and any pictures you have taken of the guy friend.) You even go as far as to cut the guy friend out of your life.

So, what’s next?



You need to compile evidence proving your innocence. In this case I would say you should send your ex boyfriend screenshots of any communication between you and the guy friend on the phone or on Facebook to prove without a doubt that you are innocent and did NOT cheat on your ex boyfriend.

Evidence can come in many shapes or forms.

Some women give their exes passwords to their social media profiles.

Some women let their ex look through their phone.

The point is that you need to have some type of evidence to show your ex that he is completely wrong about you cheating.

The better the evidence the better chance you have of getting him to forgive you.

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170 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t”

  1. Tomasina

    April 28, 2022 at 1:52 am

    So I started talking to this guy at college and I instantly thought he is the one. And I had recently broke up with my ex but still had him in contacts and on social media. Me and this new guy started dated right away and then Christmas break came and I had second thoughts so I ended things. Over break I hungout with my ex but didn’t get back together. When I went back to school I stopped talking to my ex because I realized I loved this new guy so much so I blocked my ex on everything for him. This new guy ended things with me 3 different times saying he thinks we should cool off on hanging out, then we end up hanging out a week later. So it confused me so much. Our spring break came and my ex and him got in a fight over me. I unblocked my ex yelled at him then blocked him. I then unblocked him one night while I was drunk and yelled at him and never reblocked him. So he called me the next night while I was hanging out with the new guy and he noticed. Then a few weeks later this new guy sits me down and accuses me of cheating on him. I did not cheat on him and I never would’ve. I love this guy so much and I havnt talked to him in weeks now. He says he can’t believe me or forgive me. I don’t know what to do. I said I can show him I blocked him but he doesn’t care.

  2. Vanessa

    November 27, 2019 at 2:27 pm

    Hey guys kinda late but i need to heall somehow my ex boyfriend acussed me of cheating,we just promised each other we will never breakup ,we ve been on and off for 3 years,if u asked my it was a toxic relationship,he tolld me he was constantlly cheated by his ex girllfriend,and at the begining if the relationship he tolld my not to cheat him,i didnt understand back then,i didnt even answered just vague that i dont need to causse his my bufy,but after a whille he cheated me,i forgave him,after he left for another in the fallse prerense that i am jealouss,wich was true but i had the right,and i was litlle i wasnt that mature like now,i didnt know why he left but i fellt it and confronted him and no answer,after i found out i was shivered to pieces,i still forgave him,after we broke up again ,for almost a year,i found someone he is now my husband,but we were dating so i was still depressed and trying to figure out wath hapened with my ex we got back toghter promised each other to never breackup,i went to birthday at a restaurant i called him a couple of times,no answer,i sayed im gona go no matter,i posted a picture of me alone on facebook at the restaurant,we chated in the morning on messenger he was callm,and i tolld him everithing,when i called him on the phone hell went losse started screaming claiming i cheated him,i was lost of words,i knew that was the end because convicing was never gona work,and tolld me to move on and have a familly,so thats what i had to do is move on,wich i had done,but my friends are bugging me to get back but i dont want to,because it will never work and its past ,he still not with no one,for 7 years,and tallks about me constantlly,hes mad at my husband,weve meet at a friends mariage party,and my husband wanted to shake his hand but he went away,it made me very sad…i have healled but his anger somehow remained with me,shoulld i lett him know all of this by a letter? Like a closing or wathever the name is….

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 30, 2019 at 11:12 pm

      Hi Vanessa, so no I would not write him a letter, and I would avoid talking to him anymore. You are married now to someone else adn you need to focus on your marriage, not on your ex boyfriend. If he cant move on then that is up to him. He cheated on you, not you on him. He has to deal with the fact that you moved on when he was the one who caused the relationship to become toxic and end

  3. Ali

    July 23, 2019 at 11:34 pm

    On the day my ex broke up with him, I saw him send a text with a heart and kissing emoji to someone. He saw that I saw it and made some lie up. I didn’t know it was a lie yet. Then we were sitting on my couch and he turned his phone on and went into pictures and there were 2 pictures with “his initials” loves “her initials” that was created using, I think, an app. Then a “I love you” created by the same app. I was upset during the breakup. I didn’t confront him. We continued being friends (haha….). He added the woman with these initials to social media. So I discovered who it was. 2 months later, with me literally going insane from overthinking, I asked him who he sent the text to. “It was nothing. Just my godfathers daughter having a bit of trouble.”. A week later he blocked me on all social media. Looking at his actions rather than his words, I don’t believe a word he said to me. Unfortunately I felt guilty and went into more of a depression after the blocking/ghosting. Took me a while to realise that it had nothing to do with me and was completely his fault. Any sort of communication to him just pushes him further away. I have since blocked him back on Instagram and messenger. It felt good to have that control back.

  4. Sofia

    July 22, 2019 at 10:52 pm

    My Ex broke up with me on July 1st. We were together 2 months, I know it’s not a long time but we both loved each other. His ex cheated on him so he has been very sensitive and fearful about being cheated on again. He always said please don’t cheat on me and be faithful to me. I wouldn’t dream of ever cheating on him. He lives in the next block so one night I was on the phone for like 2 seconds with my son asking him when he is coming home. While I was on the phone I was looking out my bedroom window. I did not notice a car with someone parked in front of my house as I was only at my window a few seconds.

    I did not know this but my ex was walking by at that time and automatically assumed I was talking to a guy. I explained that it was my son and offered him my phone. He did not take my phone and did not believe me either. I cried and begged saying I was innocent but he thinks I’m lying and I am cheating on him. He has since blocked me and i have tried to call from a different number and he blocked me from that as well. He was so upset that he has moved to a different town. This is so crazy, I mean who does that. Deciding someone is cheating on you just because they are at the window while talking on the phone. He also thought that random car was waiting for me. His mind is so twisted that I think even if we did get back together, life with him will be very difficult.

    I love him and miss him very much and there is no way to track him down. I checked his facebook and he is already tagging other girls. he seems to have moved on but I still love him. I want him back even though he is a difficult person. What should I do?

  5. Alice

    June 12, 2019 at 12:40 am

    So I was with my ex for over a year but before that I was mates with a guy. I never saw him as anything but a mate and because I met him on holiday and never saw him and didn’t talk loads we weren’t that close. My now ex believed we had history bc on the night I met him I was steaming drunk and he kissed me in a bar. Literally a peck and i never let anything develop or happen again and he ended up getting with another lass anyway. But as a mate he was good. In my and my exes early days I saw him like a an exes picture on Instagram and it bothered me simply because I’ve been cheated on before so I talked to the friend about it and he told me just talk to him give him a chance. So basically I had no reason to believe he was trying to sabotage my relationship. My ex told me it bothered him so I said I’d create some distance and spoke to the friend less. Then again he said it bothered him and he was really upset and angry so I just said to my mate look I can’t do this anymore and blocked him but I said if you absolutely need me I’ll be here to talk. And I’m two occasions I was but no more than 3 short messages between us. But my ex was always so suspicious because I put my phone face down whenever I put it on the table and stupid little things like that. Then my old friend showed up at a dance show I was doing without me knowing to surprise me. After the show I had 5 minutes to run and grab a 5 guys which is when he revealed himself. And we spoke for maybe 2 minutes before he got on the train. Then later that month a mutual friend of the old mate invited me to a concert to see my favourite band for free because the old friend had a box there and was letting her and some mates use it. I wasn’t sure if the old friend would be there so I lied to my boyfriend saying I was heading to the library after college just to avoid an argument so I wouldn’t go to the concert being a misery guts. I regret lying so much but it was amazing and I stayed the night with the girls at the premier inn and went home the next day to find out my mum has told him that I went to the concert with the old friend. He broke up with me and since has said I can’t trust you, why should I believe any of what you’ve ever said, our whole relationship he was there and you treated me like shit and broke me every day and he can’t ever see me the same way again. And having read your article I realised I’ve done everything in the wrong order. I cried and begged while sending him the evidence I had like screenshots of the conversation about the concert so he dismissed them as not proof of anything and not something he could believe. He’s always been jealous and angry and because he’s been cheated on before he’s always been paranoid but now I have no idea what to do. Any advice would be amazing because I really want him back

  6. Michelle

    April 13, 2019 at 9:57 am

    My spouse and I had a bad tiff a few days ago. He said that he had a bad dream about me sleeping with another man. He used that dream to accused me of being unfaithful. Firstly, I have been downright faithful to him and I have been a one-man woman all my life. So, that reasoning is ridiculous. I also had a some thinking as to why he thought of me that way. Being a private person, I don’t normally share details of my life and I feel that I should be sharing them with my spouse. However, I feel uncomfortable because I feel like I am being judged by him. Like I don’t allow him to look through my phone. Not because I am hiding things from him. My phone is my form of space to be me. Despite that, he allows me to go through his phone, as and when I feel insecure. I know it is not fair cos he is willing to bare details but I do not.

    We are a married couple of some years.

    I appreciate your opinion on what I should do.


  7. jorge

    January 25, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    I try to meet one of my ex grilfriend 11 years afer we breakup and my girlfriend found out,
    Now she is accussing me on cheating on her and every female i know are potencial sexual targets on her mind
    My ex is just an old friend that we become after we breakup and i havent seem for the last 10 years
    We had an ugly argument and now i start the no contact rule
    My girfriend have alcohol problems and just after one day she contact me when she was out drinking with her female friend
    My girfriend had a very bad 18 years relation with her ex husband and he cheat on her lot lot and she on him out of hunger with having sex with 2 mans out of unger and revenge
    She never told him about her revenge of having sex with 2 guys in less than one week
    What shoulb i do ?
    And what shoulb i do to prov to her i have done nothing wrong ?
    Not with my ex girlfriend ( a friend) thta i allready remove from my list like anyothers she was not secure and jealous about ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      January 25, 2019 at 10:40 pm

      Hi Jorge!

      Be supportive of her concerns and become transparent….open up your life so she sees that you are special in all the ways he cares about.

    2. Chris Seiter

      January 25, 2019 at 10:40 pm

      Hi Jorge!

      Be supportive of her concerns and become transparent….open up your life so she sees that you are special in all the ways he cares about.

  8. Im a guy but i need help on this topic

    January 22, 2019 at 2:06 pm

    So I basically cheated in the very beginning of our relationship with my 1st gf. More so just flirting never sex, but she would try extremely hard to get with me and get me back. Absurd jealousy. I cut all ties w her immediately.

    About a month ago my current ex and I broke up because I was talking to this girl about going to a party with my friends on Snapchat. That Girl asked me about my gf (we both know her) and I said we are weird right now (I was second guessing, i needed space but didn’t know). Anyway that girl texted my girlfriend that I was trying to get with her and meet up with her. Not true, I was looking for a party with my friends, so I when I was saying “can we come through” I don’t think she understood. My current ex is mad because something similar happened 7 months ago and she thinks I’ve been trying to cheat on her.

    She said she feels as though we are going in circles and I haven’t learned from the previous times. I know she is probably insecure about everything and one little thing makes her believe I cheat on her. I had a chance to tell her both times I talked to these girls but I didn’t say anything to her. We have been together for 3 years and we are 20. I haven’t cheated on her and wasn’t flirting with these two girls. She’s the only girl I been with with physically and emotionally since we have been together. Socially is where I messed up every time.

    It’s been a month since we ended things, and I have been in no contact for two weeks. I didn’t beg, we basically said if we want to be together later we can’t be together right now because I have to go get my shit together. We both think we are meant to be, so we say. While I have been working on me she has been just living a free life going wherever the wind takes her living in the present on the weekends. I said I’m not giving up on us I just need to improve myself. She agreed, but said she is not waiting for me she’s just said get your shit together and just maybe we can reconcile but idk for sure. She thinks I’m curious about other women, but a month later I can say I want to be with her. So my question is what in the world should I do? I just need some quick advice. We both turn 21 on the same day in two weeks from now.

    1. Chris Seiter

      January 22, 2019 at 3:27 pm

      So you are on the right track with implementing No Contact. Its best to understand all the elements of how it works, so if you have not picked up my Ex Recovery Guide, you should do so. I do have a website aimed at guys trying to get their ex back. Its called

  9. Janes

    January 21, 2019 at 8:56 am

    Hi Guys,

    I would love if you reply my message. My, now ex and I are always on and off. Last time we broke up was in October for 2 weeks or more. We got back together and one night we went to bed to watch a tv show that I said. oh.. we already watched this I remembered the show, he said it was not with him and I said I thought it was. Then I said..well then maybe I watched at home in Netflix or something.

    He is now sure I watched with some guy and I cheated on him. He said that once he thought he watched something with me, but when I said “no” he remembered it was with an ex-girlfriend and because the tv show is new so he assumed I watched with a guy when we were broken up .

    I didn’t watch this with a guy, but I cant remember who did I watch this with, so, I can not prove and on the other hand I think it is too crazy to have to prove this and also too crazy that because I said I wateched it already and thought was with him he assumed I cheated on him. Is this normal behaviour?

    Anyway, when he accused I did all the wrong things. I told him I would never do that, My boyfriend before him cheated on me and I know how this can break a person and I wouldn’t do it and how much I love him..and he said this behaviour only proved I cheated. And the worst he is saying that I don’t need to be afraid as he won’t tell people what I did . (which for him mean he will tell) so, our friends will think we broke up because I cheated on him.

    What do I do ?

  10. Misdy

    April 27, 2018 at 3:26 am

    My boyfriend believes i cheated on him cz he saw a text come in from someone in my past. At the time we had just made up after another bad fight. When he first asked me who this guy was I was honest I told him he was a guy who was hitting on me before we got together and it was nothing to be concerned about. Immediately I said this he called me a cheater. At first I was furious when he accused me but later I chose to stand in his shoes and understood why he would think I’d cheated. We didnt talk for two days and when we did he was very mean and hurtful. I’ve apologised for being insensitive to his feelings, I’ve sent screenshots which he says dont matter cz content can be manipulated. He says tgat what he knows now is just a tip of the iceberg, theres more to it. Tgere isnt. He says thst even i did it out of ignorance id do something again with the same reason. Long story short, no communication, stopping the behaviour hasn’t worked.. he wants actions to speak and I have no idea how that looks esp because at the back of my head responding to a text with greetings shouldn’t be this big of a deal. What do I do here???? Guys who treat everything as a puzzle I’d like to hear from you.

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 27, 2018 at 4:54 am

      Hi Misdy…cute name. This was good of you to show that kind of empathy, and I am sorry he didn’t meet you halfway. He is behaving immaturely and behaving badly. A jealous rage. So give him a lot of space. You need some time to yourself too. A little No Contact would be in order here. But much shorter than what I normally recommend. Go get a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” because it will come in handy in the event this break up stretches out. You can get info on it at my website Menu/Products link. In time, I think his anger will subside and he will realize he has no proof of what he is accusing you of and it is he who is betraying the trust. Let me know how it goes Misdy!

  11. Brianna Cassidy

    December 18, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    I have done a lot of these steps already. I will be honest I didn’t give my ex-boyfriend time, he was still upset when I was showing him conversations. The guy he thinks I messed around him I got him to say over text that we never messed around and he lives in Florida. I gave him passwords to my social media he wouldnt take them, he didnt want to be controlling. He told me he would never believe anything I showed him. Should I still win him back? I love him and really miss him

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2017 at 7:49 pm

      Hi Brianna, .

      you can still try the advice above.

    2. Misdy

      April 25, 2018 at 7:49 pm

      Is such a situation salvageable? I’m in the same predicament. When he accused me of it I was so furious and mad and ofcos defensive. I only soften my stance after he called telling me how much I hurt him. I’ve apologised, send him screenshots of the conversation btwn me and the guy he’s accusing me of cheating with ( he saw a text come in, it was from a guy who was hitting on me I dint lie ) i told my boyfriend It wouldn’t be a problem cutting this other guy off but he still won’t believe me. He’s agreed to meet me to talk. What does this mean?

    3. Chris Seiter

      April 25, 2018 at 11:01 pm

      Hi Misdy…thanks for stopping by again! It means he is warming up to the idea of believing in you. It won’t happen all at once. But it can happen over time…restoring trust is what I am referring to. Misdy…if you have not done so already, go check out my ebooks. For example, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” would be an excellent resources for you because it is jammed pack with ideas and plans and things you can do in all types of breakup situations to enhance your chances. I can only cover so much here..but you will likely benefit from having a comprehensive blueprint of what to do. Just click on my website Menu/Products link to learn more about all the resources and services available to you!

  12. carla

    December 12, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    Help! My ex thinks i cheated on him with my other ex lol, we’ve been broken up for months because he cannot get over it. i asked him if he wanted me to text the old ex about it and then screenshot it to him… and he said no. I did it anyway, and the texts totally proved my innocence but now he is sooooo mad that I did it when he told me not to?? I don’t get why he’s so mad ? I was just trying to show him evidence now he is ignoring me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 14, 2017 at 2:11 pm

      Hi Carla,

      That’s probably his pride or he has other reasons for breaking up with you

  13. Nicolle

    November 26, 2017 at 4:57 am

    My boyfriend and I play a game where you can have Private Messages with people. I’m a powerful authority and have enemies in the game. Also, alot of men have tried to be with me. I dated a few, but once I met my man, i knew he was the one for me so I broke all ties. Today someone sent him a Private Message saying I’m not the woman he thinks I am. They included Messages of me with other men but the dates are falsified so it looks like I was cheating on him. I’m innocent and he won’t tell me who sent the messages. He dumped me to protect himself. I’m devastated, what do I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 1:55 am

      Hi Nicole,

      approach it like you have cheated on him and follow the advice above.

  14. mreally sad

    November 5, 2017 at 4:34 am

    My bf just broke up with me cuz he feels I slept with his friend ,although that’s one of the reasons he gave tho. Truth is before he and I ever got into anything serious , I paid a visit to his friend on two occasions at his place. I had absolutely nothing in mind and wouldn’t expect that his friend would ask me for sex.although he tried that once buh I simply assumed that would be his last. I got to his place and prepared a dish which he didn’t even eat but gave his friend. He kinda held me really close and shi* happened. I hated the idea which I told him and it was against my will. My bf was angry that I never told him about it . he called me names saying I’m only a pretender and I’m not as good as he thought. I feel really bad cuz well whatever happened wasn’t my will and they all happened before we started anything serious. It’s worse cuz he feels I’m happy with what happened then. How do I convince him it was neither my will nor my intention? Ive sent texts earlier buh he threatened to block me on social media if that continues. How do I ger him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 5, 2017 at 7:20 am


      do you want to try the advice above?

  15. Lala

    October 15, 2017 at 4:29 am

    I archived a chat with a guy that i am discussing business with nothing flirty or anything, he checked my phone and found out about it… i went to him to explain everything the next day he says he is fine now and needs time to trust me again but me being desperate i begged him for the first 3 days and he asked for time to be alone and that i am not helping its now the second day since he ask me to leave him alone. We have broken up a few times before due to his own insecurities, but i really do love him and want the relationship back. I know its my fault for archiving the chat but it was purely due to me knowing how big his reaction will be if he found out but i didnt think that it would be worst this way

    1. Lala

      October 16, 2017 at 2:03 am

      I dont know what to do now … it feels so miserable waiting for him to get back to me but i dont know when he will and that if he will break up with me again

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 16, 2017 at 11:18 pm

      Why not try the advice above?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2017 at 8:21 pm

      Hi lala,

      I don’t see anything wring with what you did.. It’s just that you’re letting his insecurity overpower you..

  16. Jakyma

    October 5, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me because 12 of his friends really don’t like me because I make him a better man and they lied saying I was cheating on him. I wasn’t and I would never harm him in any way. He’s my baby. I really need some help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 6, 2017 at 10:35 pm

      Hi Jakyma,

      Do you want to try the advice above?

  17. Camila

    July 24, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    My boyfriend thinks I was texting someone else during our relationship and broke up with me. It has happened to him before as his prior gf left him for someone else. However our relationship, though only having dates for 3 months was really sweet and I had never done anything to merit losing his trust. Angry, he broke up with me over text refusing to see me. I begged for him to face me and to hear me out so I could clear my name but to no avail. I let him cool down for about a week before reaching out just to see where we stood. There was no begging. No angry words exchanged, but he assured me we would not get back together. I decided to give him space and started NO contact. It’s been 20 days since then. We follow each other on social media fb, Snapchat, and twitter. Though I have used the time to heal and taken the high road, he sometimes subtweets me with hurtful comments, other times he posts songs or tweets alluding to love And a reconciliation. We’re both in college though he’s 3 years younger than me. I know he’s sad and he misses me. Though he won’t reach out, he’ll watch my snap stories. His mom reached out to me 10 days ago to say how much she regretted our breakup. But I havr not spoken to him directly. I miss him and want him back, but I do not know if he wants the same or if he still cares for me. When should I reach out again or do?

    1. Jakyma

      October 5, 2017 at 9:30 pm

      First girl set him straight. He don’t need to be making rude comments to you even if y’all broke up. He needs to be respectful. If you love him and you trust him and you forgive him then be with him.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 2:33 pm

      HI Camila,

      be active in posting in sites where posts lasts.That’s a good start with snapchat but switch to instagram or facebook. if you haven’t improved yourself, do that first before reaching out.. usually you initiate contact after 30 days but if you haven’t improved yourself, extend for at least 2 weeks before initiating contact.

  18. Confused.

    July 23, 2017 at 12:19 am

    Well, my boyfriend was workig for our family business and he left the country because he and my mom weren’t getting along anymore. Since he left he has been bitter about the way my mom treated him and seems to always air it out on me. Well I told him to move on from that because I was also bitter of the situ at ion it now that we are distant apart we have to focus on our life’s so we could be together again. He understood but 2 days ago he broke up with me after implying that I have been talking to my ex, whom I haven’t talk to or seen in 3 years more or less. So he keeps trapping me about cheating on him which is very not true andI decide to change the subject to something happy because it wasn’t worth anything, he was going to hurt me and his paranoia would hurt him as well…but he always managed to go back to that topic, telling me I should confess and I should stop being a coward and just break up with him. I then nicely tell him what he means to me but he doesn’t stop there, he keeps going on and on and I finally get mad and explain the situation to him and how wrong he is…then I make a mistake by calling him by my ex’s name. It was an honest mistake, I am over that guy. But then he uses this as an evidence and breaks up with me…so I gave up and I agreed. I went to talk to him yesterday to tell him how it hurts that he doesn’t trust me and he knows who I really am and we should talk so we know where this insecurity is coming from and he just replies saying “we’re done, leave it there”. So I haven’t spoken to him the whole of today. You have any idea how I can prove my innocence?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 4:56 pm

      Hi Confused,

      are you really talking to your ex? are you going to try the advice above?

  19. Lost

    June 21, 2017 at 10:57 am

    My ex broke up with my last week because I found out I had chlamydia. I DID NOT cheat on him and he says he didn’t either. Even though I believe him, this clearly doesn’t make any sense. He dismissed this anyway and went on to say the main reason is because my mindset to life is different from his. And we’re at two different stages of our lives and he can’t deal with the way I think and handle things. We’ve been together for 2 years, planned to have a a baby, picked baby names. He is the love of my life, I started the NC, but I’m feeling really useless. He’s broken up with me twice before, but this time he said he’s not doing this again. I don’t think I will get him back. Any help please?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 23, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      I’m not a doctor, but according to research, the only ways to get chlamydia is through oral, anal or vaginal contact… I hope I”m wrong but it looks like one of you did it.. Are you actively improving yourself?

  20. sigh

    June 10, 2017 at 11:50 pm

    My bf broke up with me 2 days ago because he couldn’t handle the idea that I may have cheated on him. I did not and have sworn to him I didn’t but he refused to believe me. Throughout our relationship he would always ask me to promise him that I haven’t betrayed him. He believed I slept with my ex because I dated him a week after My ex and I broke up so he assumed I wasn’t over my ex and cheated with him. About 2 months ago he found cigarette butts hiding in the corner of my car from the time my ex and I dated and he got so furious. Since then he would constantly accuse me of having cheated on him. No matter how many times I reassure him, he refuses to believe that I didn’t cheat. When we broke up he stated “whether or not you cheated on me, I can’t do this anymore, I can’t be constantly be paranoid about it”. I believe he let his own insecurities ruin our relationship, I don’t have a history of cheating and I’ve always been faithful to him. We’ve been dating a total of 5 months but I knew this is the man I want to marry. He’s the love of my life, what should i do? How could I make him believe that I never cheated?

    1. sigh

      June 14, 2017 at 7:43 pm

      I can try the first step NC but I can’t stop the behavior because there’s nothing to stop or provide evidence because he assumes I cheated from cigarette butts in my car.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 16, 2017 at 8:29 pm

      yup, you cant change the way another person thinks.. it will be their decision. the best you can do is improve yourself.. he’s probably just emotional but if he still remains the same even after all this, then you have to move on

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 14, 2017 at 9:41 am

      Are you going to try the advice above?

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