The Anatomy Of A Breakup (Part Two)

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

(If you are interested in reading “Part One” make sure you click this link ๐Ÿ˜‰ .)

Hopefully you already read Part I: The Science and Psychology of Dating.

If not, go read it.

Did you go read it?

Okay, just to be safe, here are some of the things that happened to you during the relationship. Most of them you didn’t even realize were happening until after it was over. It’s okay. Most people don’t.

part-one-during-the-relationship

Just to touch base, these are all the chemicals we discussed.

norepinephrine-facts seratonin-facts dopamine-facts vasopressin-facts oxytocin-factscortisol-facts

And this is a visual representation of the different levels throughout the relationship and after the breakup.

levels-beginning-of-relationship

levels-middle-of-relationship

levels-after-a-breakup

As you can see, after the break up the all of the levels drop except for Cortisol. By looking at these descriptions you can see what that means for you. I’m sure you’re feeling it about now.

Stress.

It’s what caused that feeling of hollowness in your chest right after the break up.

Speaking of, even though I’m quite sure you already know what happens during the time right after a breakup, let’s look.

The Aftermath

LACK OF MOTIVATION

Well, since Dopamine is your personal supply of motivation and it is now in short supply, you are now not only short on Dopamine but also on motivation.

FATIGUE

Dopamine also helps regulate sleep. So, you guessed it. You are about to have yourself some sleepless nights staring at the ceiling wondering what caused your relationship’s untimely end.

MOOD SWINGS

Okay, I’m sure I sound like a broken record right now. But I bet you can guess what chemical controls your mood. I mean if you can’t guess, feel free to look at the cheat sheets I made for you above. If you do, you might n0tice that serotonin also has a hand in this. The lack of both results in highly unpredictable moods swings.

This is why so many girls these days get dubbed “The Crazy Ex.”

MEMORY PROBLEMS

A low level of Norepinephrine and Serotonin results in lower mental alertness. That, paired with the lack of memory and ability to learn created by a lowered level of Dopamine.

INABILITY TO CONCENTRATE

Norepinephrine, also known as Adrenaline, can make your heart race and butterflies reside in your stomach when you are first falling in love. Adrenaline is incredibly useful and can make you more mentally aware and provide you with lots of energy. However, when the level of Adrenaline drops the ability to focus drops as well. Leaving you feeling like you’ve kind of lost direction.

SLEEP PROBLEMS

Have you been having some trouble getting substantial sleep? I bet you thought it was just because you missed your ex. Well partially maybe, but the drop of Dopamine levels can be thanked for your inability to sleep as well.

LOSS OF APPETITE

Serotonin is responsible for regulating appetite. If you find yourself eating simply to comfort yourself and not because you are actually hungry, you are probably just feeling the effects of a level of Serotonin you aren’t used to since you’ve been in a relationship up until the point.

LACK OF LIBIDO

This one varies in most people. Although they still are experiencing a low Serotonin level, they may find motivation elsewhere, making their ex jealous. However, sleeping with someone solely to make your ex jealous or think you’ve moved on isn’t necessarily the healthiest thing to do. You’ll wind up either regretting or realizing how pointless that way of thinking is.

SUPPRESSED IMMUNE SYSTEM

This one is the most important, I think. As soon as I realize that I am feeling the effects from a breakup, I start being super-diligent in taking my vitamins and taking care of myself. Trust me, getting sick AND dealing with heartbreak at the same time is not an easy course.

How to Deal

There is a reason I walked you through the chemical happenings going on within your body. By cutting them down to nothing but chemical reactions, hopefully you now realize that these feelings can be controlled. All it takes is a little determination.

And yes I know that, according to that little graphic up there, you should be lacking in motivation. And I know it is tempting to sit and wallow in your sadness because it’s easy.
Letting your emotions control you will keep you trapped.

glass-cage-of-emotion

However, I know that you are stronger than that.

Why?

I know you.

Heck, I am you!

And I have done this… many times.

It is actually possible to create your own motivation cocktail of chemicals. You’d be surprised how simple it is.

Did you wonder why I kept reminding you that Dopamine is the Ring Leader of the chemicals? Well, it’s because it is. It is very important. You see, in a study, Dopamine deficient lab mice became so apathetic and lethargic that they lacked motivation to even eat. They would let them starve to death.

However, Dopamine production can be manipulated. And by manipulating it, you can increase its levels. This is where we can use the fact that Dopamine and Norepinephrine go everywhere together. By raising one we can raise the other, meaning you’ll be one step closer to getting things back to normal.

Doesn’t that sound great?

As with all things that are worth doing, it won’t be easy.

Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to do it all on your own.

Let’s Get Started

If you’re like college me and a majority of other women going through break ups, you shut down after a break up and lose all motivation.

I know that my apartment and my hair always got the short end of the stick for the first few weeks after.

I’d be looking like Elle Woods after Warner dumps her and she holes up in her room, for a week eating chocolates and watching soap operas.

legally-blonde

Okay I didn’t watch soap operas, but I did watch Legally Blonde. That in and of itself wasn’t a terrible idea. I’m not ashamed to say that watching someone else regain their confidence and get over a crappy ex was sometimes exactly what I needed to get off my butt and do something.

If you read the first part of this article, you already know what I’m about to ask you to do. My guess is you’re not really looking forward to it, otherwise you would have done already.

So here’s the first step.

Take a shower and get dressed.

It’s funny, but I realized a long time ago that if I wanted to accomplish something I couldn’t maintain a steady level of energy and motivation if I was still wearing what I slept in, especially if I hadn’t put on real clothes in a week.

Give yourself the boost you need to take on this goal I’m setting in front of you.

Clean your living space.

Whether you live in an apartment, a house, or you mother’s basement, the space you occupy reflects your mind. If there is chaos outside, there is chaos inside. And how exactly will you regain control of your life if you can’t make heads or tails of your thoughts.

This is the perfect opportunity to rearrange your space as well.

My ex, Will, spent a lot of time at my house. Most of the time he would just sit on my bed, play my guitar and sing me John Mayer songs. Now, even though I wasn’t super attached to Will, when we broke up it still hurt. Every time I looked at the place he used to sit, I would miss him and suddenly have the urge to listen to John’s song “Heartbreak Warfare.” See?

Even a relationship lacking love can leave you heartbroken and wallowing while listening to sad songs.

I spent a week or two dealing with a pang of loss every time I walked into my room and saw his usual spot vacant and my guitar in its stand, untouched.
My solution to this one is an easy one. Rearrange!

By the time I was done, not only was “his spot” history, my room was much more open and nice to hang out it. (perhaps because I had cleared out the ghosts of my exes)

But I digress.

Change things up. Get some artwork and hang it on the walls.

I always like to find motivational artwork to hang around.

My favorite one that I have currently is pictured below.

motivational-wall-art

Clean up your Forms of Contact

  • Put his number on Do Not Disturb
  • Unfollow him on Facebook (Remember, unfollowing is different than unfriending.)
  • Fight the urge to drive past his house and check in on him
  • If you do see him, be cordial. As I tell my friends, “Keep it Short, Sweet, and to the Point.” It cracks me up. A couple of them have started to use it like a mantra for moments when they aren’t even actually faced with having to talk to an ex. Any time they’re tempted to text their ex, they shoot me a text instead that solely says “SSttP.” And I respond with a little positive reinforcement telling them how strong they are for not giving in. It seems silly but a there are a few times I don’t think they would have made it long without doing something drastic without a little outside encouragement
  • That being said, ask your friends to hold you accountable.

I even struggle with this one from time to time. I hear a song I think my ex would like, or something else I think he should know.

But then I find myself looking at my screen on my phone.

Change the way you eat.

Yes, what you put in your body determines the type of energy you produce. My old roommate used to show up with tons of carb-heavy junk food thinking it would help me feel better.

Wrong!

Carbs and greasy foods will just make you feel heavy and more lethargic. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to cut them completely out. You just need to limit them.
Here are some foods known to increase Dopamine production.

fruit2 green-veggies other veggies

By adding these foods to your diet and decreasing the amount of junk you eat, you’ll be giving your body ample amounts of the Amino Acid Tyrozine. Tyrozine is what is used to create Dopamine.

Even though sugar can increase Dopamine levels temporarily, and has a negative effect when it wears off. It could end up leaving you with less energy than you started with.

Get Moving

Exercise is one of the best things you can do for your brain. It improves blood flow which aides in the creation of new brain cells. Another side effect is that it slows brain cell aging. The major function of getting up and doing something active, aside from looking and feeling better, is that it helps form new brain cell receptors, which results in raising

Dopamine levels substantially.

Running has even been known to result in “Runner’s High” which stimulates the release of endorphins, a natural pain-killer.

Do you remember how we discussed heartbreak causing actual physical pain? Running and getting active can help with that as well. Not to mention, from my own experience, it is a great way to clear your head.

If you don’t necessarily want to go to a gym or be around people, there are plenty of trainer that put information out there on the web. ZuzkaLight and Emily Skye are two of my favorite. They both post what I call min-workouts that you can do from home.

I also mix this one with the next point I’d like to make by getting out on the roads with my bike. Nothing beats the freedom of feeling wind rush past my face as I race down the back roads a few miles outside of town. The sun alone is a great source of Vitamins that help revitalize you and helps you feel more alive and less like a zombie.

Cultivate Interests

Pick back up an old hobby or choose a new one. Focusing on something that takes effort is a great way to calm the mind. Aldo, completing projects creates a great sense of accomplishment and raises the levels of Serotonin in the body.

Back in college I picked up crocheting after my ex and I split. Not only did I keep my mind focused, I wound up with a pretty awesome blanket that I gave to a friend as a gift. It was huge and took me about four weeks to finish.

When I handed it over wrapped in audacious wrapping paper that only a college kid would buy and along with it I handed over everything that was weighing down my heart.

I know how tempting it is to curl back up in your comforter and hide from the world and your problems, but clearly if you are reading this you are looking for that kick in the butt telling you to get up and do something about it.

Yes, you owe it to yourself to take a moment and be sad, mourn the loss of your relationship, if you will. I usually tell myself that I have ONE NIGHT to let my emotions overwhelm me and take over.

After that, no more!

You may feel like isn’t enough time, but I am telling you right now, if you don’t get up and do what needs to be done to make you happy, then you are going to miss so many great opportunities that are out there just waiting on you to go and get them.

This is just the first step in moving past a break up.

Yes, I know I basically just asked you to get up of your butt and re-enact an inspirational 80’s montage, but hey, if that’s what it takes!

Now, go grab life and make it your own!

Published September 22, 2016, | Modified September 22, 2016

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (24)

  1. Anon - 0

    Anon

    Hi! I’ve posted before. Amor, you have been really helpful and patient with me! Refresher: I was the one with the boyfriend who went to rehab a few months after our daughter was born, he decided never to come back home, and we still kept in contact for some reason. I had done 30 days no contact, started texting and phone calls and got good results. I just couldn’t move up to dates since we were so far apart. But then I got panicky one night and we fought. When we hadn’t actually fought in months it was still pretty bad. And then I decided to just let things cool down before I talked to him again. He was very upset with me.

    But now it’s been almost a month. He texted me a few days ago saying he’s in town and wanted to talk. I waited a day and said that was fine and he asked me to come to the house he was staying in. He told me he is moving back for good and wants to have a relationship with both his children (we have a daughter and he has a son from a previous relationship.) I said I was fine with that but was concerned about him leaving again. And he told me he feels horrible for leaving, he made me raise her by myself and he never even helped financially. I told him I didn’t want him to feel bad, I didn’t think he was a bad person, and I’ll work with him if he wants to help now. After a while he starts talking about me dating other guys, seemed like he was asking if I had without asking. So I casually said I had tried dating but didn’t have a lot of time. Then he accused me of sleeping with an ex boyfriend and acted really annoyed that I had dated (only 2 dates actually.) He eventually said he would maybe want to work things out with me but was afraid I would resent him and he still doesn’t know what he wants. I told him I didn’t know what I wanted either. (I obviously do, I just didn’t want him to think he could just jump right back in.)

    We played with our daughter for a while. And I started laughing after a bit and said “It’s weird being here again with you and her.” I was just talking, didn’t really mean to be awkward just trying to get us both to laugh at the situation. And he said “Nope what would be weird is if I held you down and kissed you and told you I love you.” I can’t tell what that means! I just laughed and said “Yeah that would be weird!” He also kept joking about us sleeping together and kissing me. It was like he was maybe trying to feel out how I woukd react?

    It seemed like it was good. It was so awkward at first…but then it turned fun. He acted like he didn’t want us to leave, but the baby was fussy. But when I left I didn’t ask if we would talk again. We never really resolved anything. I don’t know where to go from here! I don’t want to push him away but I want him and I want my family together. I’m so sorry that was so long!! But I really am looking for some advice!

    Reply
    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Anon,

      You’re actually doing good.. Just keep doing that, be with your daughter, have fun and take things slow. It looks like he is testing you out..

    • Anon - 0

      Anon

      Thank you, Amor! You are the best. I’m just so nervous about scaring him away or him leaving again. I tried to keep it light and fun. Well, as much as I could with the situation! Not seeing your daughter for months is pretty heavy. Do you think I’m at the point where I can ask him to hang out with us? It’s been about 4 days since I talked to him that day. I thought about giving him a week to adjust to being back home and being around us.

    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      it’s ok to let him adjust.. why not make it an open invitation.. like “I was planning to take daughter to this place this date, if you’re available, it’ll be fun to come with us.”

    • Anon - 0

      Anon

      Okay good that’s what I thought I should do. I planned on texting him next week since I want to take her to a pumpkin patch soon.

      He texted me today asking if we could sleep together. He said it in like a joking way. I haven’t responded. I thought about responding back also in a funny way but still making it clear that I’m not going to sleep with him. Or is it better to just ignore that text?

    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      it’s ok to reply to it as a joke but just make sure that you make it clear that you’re not up to it..

    • Anon - 0

      Anon

      Thank you, Amor! I ended up just ignoring the message. He texted me the next day and we talked a little about work but I cut it off short. Then he texted me again the day after and after texting back and forth a little he asked me to hang out with him. But I had already made plans so I told him I was busy and maybe some other time next week.

      So that was actually yesterday. And I’m a little worried since I haven’t heard from him at all today. Should I have initiated a conversation? Or was it too mean of me to say no to hanging out? He didn’t respond when I told him no.

    • Anon - 0

      Anon

      Oops sorry I typed “next week” when I meant to say “this week.” I told him I could maybe hang out with him another time this week

    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      well, it’s just been a day.. dont over think.. maybe he just doesnt have anything to say

    • Anon - 0

      Anon

      You were right, Amor. I was overthinking. We hung out 3 days in a row. And it was amazing having my family together! He played with the baby, fed her, helped me put her to sleep even! It was so perfect. He apologized for how he treated me in the past. He told me he knew it woukd take him a long time to make it up to me but he wanted to try to be with me. It was everything I’ve been wanting. We cuddled and held hands while we watched tv. In my mind, it was perfect.

      BUT. The last night we hung out (Friday night, it is now Sunday morning) I left early because I had a headache. He texted me right when I got home that “Maybe we shoukd call this for what it is.” I said what are you talking about? He said he thinks maybe it woukd be easier if we stayed away from each other. I said that is the opposite of what you’ve been telling me! We texted back and forth for a while about it. He says it’s weird being back and we should just end it now before we get hurt. I’m hurt now though!! How can he change his mind so fast?? I had been telling him I didn’t want to jump right into a relationship, I wanted to just hang out, I didn’t sleep with him when he tried to several times….I don’t know what I did wrong. Please help…is he just overwhelmed maybe?

    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hmm, well it looks like you’re expecting more.. it’s good that you didn’t sleep with him before but then you’re starting to cuddle now.. I know it sounds like I’m blaming you when he was the one who probably initiated cuddling but I think that’s why he’s also the one initiating to pull away.. Things are moving too fast for him.. Next things he knows you’re in love again and willing to sleep with him when he’s not there yet..

      Be the one to hold off and to take things slow.. just let him be for now.. and next time just be stay calm and remind him if he initiates that you and him are not ready yet..

    • Anon - 0

      Anon

      Yes, he was the one who started the cuddling. I kept resisting and I would just say “What do you think you’re doing??” In like a teasing voice. And he would just laugh, wait a couple minutes and try again. But then I just couldn’t help it and I gave in!

      I guess I just don’t understand how things are moving too fast for him if he’s the one initiating most everything! He’s asking me to hang out, he’s holding my hand first, he’s cuddling me, how is he pulling away from me? Is it because I was starting to give in?

      I don’t even know if there will be a next time since he said that stuff. Should I just leave him alone for now and maybe try texting in a few days/a week? While he was telling me maybe we should end things I kept repeating thst I didn’t want to be jn a relationship and there was nothing to really end, we’re just hanging out. It seemed like he didn’t like that but be was still saying stuff like “it is what it is between us, I can accept that” Do you think he really meant he wants it to be over or is he testing?

      I’m so sorry, I must be annoying you! I thought I was making good progress finally! And now this is a huge setback ๐Ÿ™

    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      No, he’s probably more of confused with himself.. if we are confused by him, he must be confused with himself too haha. Nope, you’re not annoying me. Just ask away,anytime you want! I think you have a good plan.. at least by this time, you kind of get the idea that he might be confused, so, in a way, it helps you be the outsider’s perspective yourself in your situation

    • Anon - 0

      Anon

      Ha well I’m glad I’m not alone in being confused by him!!

      Okay. I’ll think I’ll give him a few days or a week to think about things. Looking back now, 3 days in a row of hanging out with our daughter is probably a lot for him to handle. He’s been gone a long time. I hope he didn’t actually mean he doesn’t want us to work!!

  2. emma - 0

    emma

    I started dating a guy who was one of my close friends. I always had a crush on him and turned out he had a crush one me too. After dating for a while he said he really liked me and we decided to be in a relationship. This only lasted a few months as he started pushing me away and eventually treating me badly. I tried to speak to him about it and he left me with no explanations. So I did NC and he started freaking out he doesnt want to lose a good friend (we kept coming to my place to say this etc). So I had to re-affirm that I need time away from him for now and after that continued to ignore his message and completed NC. At first he tried to sleep with me and told me we are not compatible with each other in terms of personality so we cant have a relationship. I did not sleep with him and started treating him as a gay friend (which he complained about). I started dating another guy who likes me a lot. I am not 100% into him and I am more into my ex. Nevertheless I told my ex I dont want to jump into a relationship with him feet first. He then started “hanging out” together and he would insist on paying for drinks, dinner, concerts, coffee etc when we hung out. I told him at one point during the conversations in very vague terms that I don’t trust people easy and I feel like I can’t trust a 100% given what happened before and he apologized for it in vague terms and admitted he wasnt very nice. This kept going on for a while until I went to a party with the guy I am dating and my friends and he was there with his friends. He saw me kiss my date on the dancefloor and got extremely angry and said he never wanted to see me again. I confronted him about our whole past and he said he was still hung up on his ex when we started our previous relationship and made a huge mistake letting me go. After did that he realized he really liked me etc. He then told me that he was in love with me (he never said this before) and I told him I dont believe him as he is drunk (though he insisted he is not). He then asked me out for coffee the next morning and said that he loves me again. I said I think I am love him too (which is true even though I dont really trust him after the last time). He still hasn’t officially asked me for a relationship or to be his girlfriend but keeps asking me to clarify with the other guy I am dating that I am with someone else and end things with him. Now while I dont feel as strongly about the guy I am dating I do thing he is a nice guy and if my ex was completely out of the picture I would give things a try with this new guy. I was just wondering if you think I can trust my ex’s “love you” or should I continue dating this guy and others till my ex makes it official? Could he be saying it to trick me to dump my date/ or sleep with him?

    Reply
    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Emma,

      I think you need to have an honest talk with your ex. Tell him that. Ask him why he wants you dump your bf? And tell him why you couldn’t

  3. Kristine Takeda - 0

    Kristine Takeda

    Hi, my ex and I dated on and off since we were 12.(currently16)
    We’ve known each other since we were 7, when we had small school yard crushes on each other. We have broken up for the third time now, because he wants to date other people to be sure that we truly are the ones for each other.
    He said that in his heart he believes we are, but he needs to be sure before he continues with me. I don’t want to see him with anybody else and I don’t want him to love somebody else.
    Should I initiate no contact? We said our final goodbyes yesterday. Should I date other people? And do I have a chance of winning him back? I love him a lot, thank you!

    Reply
    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kristin,

      I know you don’t like to hear this but you both are young and that’s the truth.Because of that, he wants to explore. And the more you try to stop him or beg him back the more he will resist. Yes, no contact is the better choice but it’s not a guarantee that it will work. I think you should do at least 30 days. You should read this one too:
      The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

  4. Sophia - 0

    Sophia

    Hi! ๐Ÿ™‚
    I’m wondering if you can give me a little advice.
    So me and my ex have recently started sleeping together. I’m not looking for anything serious to happen just yet because I’m not sure how, or if things will work between us, and I’m also going through a major career change so we have both agreed to take things slow. However after seeing me 3 times he brought up wanting to be exclusive before he left for a business trip 2 weeks ago.
    He asked me to go with him to a networking event (i used to go to these all the time with him before we broke up, so I’m quite well known by all his work colleagues). I know that he’s taken other girls to these events in the time we were apart (we’ve been very open and I’m not bothered by this information), and his work colleagues didn’t really like these new girls, commenting on how lovely i was and it was a shame we broke up. Anyway, this is really different to his past behaviour where he was more quiet about things between us, whereas now he seems to be telling everyone and anyone he knows that he’s spending time with me again, almost as though he wants to show me off.
    I’m feeling quite flighty and nervous about the whole thing because I already know the people there, and I was quite close with a few of them. I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to face that many people that he knows, all at once. But I’m also torn between wanting to be there to show support on something he’s worked really hard on for months, and it’s going to be a major feature of the night.
    Is it a good sign that he’s wanting to show me off like that, especially around people we already know, and bring me to these events? Or am I overthinking things? :/

    Reply
    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sophia,

      He asked you to be exclusive right? That means being boyfriend-girlfriend again. So, you don’t need more signs, he’s already direct. Did you mean, you’re wondering if he’s really serious or just wanting to show you off?

    • Sophia - 0

      Sophia

      Hi Amor ๐Ÿ™‚
      Thanks for the quick reply!
      Yeah, I’m a little unsure if he’s wanting to simply show me off like a trophy, or he’s wanting to be more serious.

    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hmm.. let time help you.. don’t invest too much. Let him prove himself more.. Invest in equal amount as his efforts but not too much that you would be doing more compared to him

  5. Sara - 0

    Sara

    Hi!
    The article above is fantastic and really well written. Me, as a behavioural neuroscientist (I swear I’m not Amy from the big bang theory), did feel much better right after my breakup knowing that our emotions post breakup is governed by neurochemistry. My question is slightly un-related to the article though. My ex dumped me around 7 months ago. He started being an asshole to me. Ditching me for no reason, only wanting to meet at night, not wanting to do anything involving my friends, heck he made wait outside without a jacket for 30 mins in the winter because he said he was meeting me somewhere and then went home and went to bed without telling me. I confronted him and he dumped me saying he feels nothing for me anymore. I did NC, picked up a old hobby: theatre, re-initiated contact. Built up rapport. He tried to be FwB and I said no to casual sex. I did use seduction and then turn him down at the end. I started dating someone else. My ex found out and started pursuing me. We went on a few dates. I did fall asleep at his place but we never had sex. He actually apologised for treating me awfully before and said he regretted it. But I am just concerned that he is just still trying to be FwB. Initially before we went on a few dates he did say directly that we can’t be in a relationship as we are too different. A few days after this I used reverse psychology and said I have no interest in jumping back into a relationship with him. After this he was pursuing me more. He still introduces me to his friends as a friend and not hold hands and act distant around others. This obviously bothers me. I tried to reverse friend zone him and he does get angry if I treat him like a gay friend and especially if I discuss guys I want to date with him. I am just wondering if I should give up on him and walk away or if there is still any hope that I can get him back and be in a relationship with him or if its time to walk away (give that its been 7 months). Sometimes I feel that I am going in the right direction and I shouldnt lose patience but then I feel that its already been a while and it doesnt seem to be going anywhere so maybe its time to walk away. What do you guys suggest?

    Look forward to hearing from you
    Sara

    Reply
    • EBR Team Member: Ashley - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sara,

      It’s time to walk away. He might be testing how far you will hold out, but for me, you have to stop wasting your time with him

Join the Conversation: