Reconnecting with an ex after a breakup is always an interesting topic.
One I feel often gets overlooked in favor of the bigger buzzwords out there.
However, it’s important to not overlook the reconnecting process.
Today I’m going to show you five recommended ways that you should be implementing to reconnect with your ex and I’m even going to take it a step further by explaining the overall strategy you should be using for maximum success.
Are you ready?
How To Reconnect With Your Ex
I’ve decided to divide this article up into three distinct parts with each part covering an essential part of the reconnecting process.
- The first part is going to talk about the vehicles of communication
- The second part is going to talk about moving up the communication ladder
- The third part is going to talk about establishing excitement and rapport throughout your ascent
By the end of this article it’s my intention that you’ll have a foundation to build upon for your own specific situation with your ex.
Ok, enough talk.
Let’s get to it!
Part #1: The Vehicles Of Communication
Generally speaking when you start looking about how to reconnect with an ex there are a lot of ways you can communicate with them.
However, if you want to generalize then I’d say there are five primary ways that you can have a conversation with them.
- Social Media (Indirectly)
- Phone Calls
- Skype, Facetime, Etc.
- Seeing You In Person
Let’s take a moment to talk about the correct way to use each of these vehicles of communication.
Vehicle #1: Social Media
Social media is often overlooked when it comes to talking to an ex.
However, that’s likely because most of the people I’ve worked with lack the creativity to think outside the box.
What do I mean by that?
Quite simply, they literally think they need to start communicating with their ex through social media.
This is wrong.
Social media is best used indirectly
One thing that research continually shows that when you go through a breakup you are going to be paying attention to your exes social media profiles.
We don’t do this to “stalk our exes” but rather curiosity gets the better of us and we can’t not look.
If you understand this basic fact then you can actually use it to your advantage.
If your ex is going to be looking at your social media profiles why don’t you craft the ideal image you’d like him or her to see?
The goal here is to literally make them want to be around you without you even saying anything.
Vehicle #2: Texting
There isn’t too much to expand on here.
This is all I will say about texting.
It’s our most common form of communication
In fact, it’s such a common form of communication in our relationships I’ve even written an entire book on it.
Therefore, it’s your ideal entry point to start a thread of communication with your ex so it’s arguably one of the most important vehicles to keep in mind.
That’s all I’m going to say for now.
I don’t want to get too deep here because I have very specific rules on how I believe you should text.
Vehicle #3: Phone Calls
I grew up in the generation where you still had to talk to people on the phone if you wanted to go out on a date.
Texting had just become a thing but it wasn’t as popular or as easy as it is now.
In fact, I still remember T-9 Word on my flip phone when it came to texting,
If you don’t get that reference then that makes me sad….
Anyways, back in the day you had to call someone to get to know them.
That doesn’t really happen so much anymore now-a-days. However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a place for it.
In part two of this article I’m going to show you its place.
Vehicle #4: Skype, Facetime, Etc
As I’ve worked with clients I’ve personally noticed that phone calls don’t happen so much anymore.
Instead, people are doing video chat.
- Google Hangouts
I actually like this trend a lot because it allows you to enact another of the five senses.
You see, with phone calls you only get to engage sound.
What you can hear.
However, with video chat you get to engage sight and sound.
Which makes it a great way to reconnect with your ex.
Assuming certain things happen first (which I’ll talk about in a moment.)
Vehicle #5: Talking In Person
Do I really have to explain this one?
Any time you see your ex in person that would be considered to be in this vehicle.
It’s not rocket science.
And quite frankly I’m getting bored talking about very basic things like what a “vehicle of communication is.”
What do you say we kick things up a notch and talk about how to actually reconnect with your ex.
Part #2: Moving Up The Communication Ladder
Consider for a moment the idea of the vehicles of communication.
If you really think about it you only communicate with people in a certain way.
Usually it looks something like this,
Now, the biggest mistake I see my clients making time and time again is going too fast too soon.
It’s actually really easy to understand why.
You see, if you are dating someone then you are technically at the top of the ladder. However, when you go through a breakup you don’t retain the right to be at the top of the ladder.
It becomes more difficult to sink your teeth into seeing your ex in person.
They don’t want to see you…
They don’t want to hear from you…
You get the picture.
You can’t just expect to reconnect with them at the top of the ladder here,
Instead, what you’re going to want to do is work your way up the ladder.
In a weird way it’s kind of like someone has pushed a giant reset button and you have to start over from square one.
Now, I know you may be skeptical about this approach but I can tell you that from working with hundreds of clients this approach really does work best when you are looking to reconnect with an ex.
Of course, I’m still leaving a pretty big question on the table here.
How do you move up the ladder?
Part #3: Establish Excitement And Rapport Throughout Your Ascent
A few weeks ago I posted a video on my YouTube Channel,
In it I talk about a pretty radical new concept where I recommend you use the following progression throughout your communication with your ex,
I’m bringing this up not to overload you with information but to rather explain how you should be moving up the ladder.
Think of it like this,
If you want to ascend up the latter and properly reconnect with your ex you are going to have to build rapport and excitement and give them a reason to want to talk to you on some of the most personal vehicles.
In this article I talked about the Battle of the Bulge in World War Two and how much of a grind it was.
Properly reconnecting with your ex is a little like that.
It’s a grind and it’s not meant to be easy.
Let’s summarize everything we’ve learned today.
I had a blast writing this article and think I covered some relatively advanced topics that may be a tad confusing at first.
However, I’m always here.
One look at my articles and you can see I respond to every comment personally and try my best to provide an in-depth answer to what you are asking. So, don’t hesitate to ask me a question if anything confuses you about what I was talking about.
Here’s a quick summary of everything we’ve talked about today,
- There are five primary vehicles of reconnection with your ex
- Indirect social media
- Text messages
- Phone calls
- Video chat
- In person interactions
- These five vehicles form a ladder
- We communicate with people differently based on our relationships to them
- A big mistake people make when trying to reconnect with their ex is starting at the top of the ladder
- Instead, you should aim to work your way from the bottom to the top
- In order to do that you need to provide excitement and rapport throughout your ascent
And that’s how you reconnect successfully with an ex.