By Chris Seiter

Updated on February 26th, 2021

It’s not often that I say this but you really need to listen to this podcast episode.

Not only because it can help you with your ex but it can help you with pretty much any relationship you find yourself in.

Today’s guest is a man by the name of Erik Newton!

Now, the interesting thing about Erik is the fact that he used to be a divorce lawyer. Yes, that means that the man has probably seen more breakups than I have which makes him a very interesting resource for you.

Of course, I say he “used” to be a divorce lawyer but he quit to follow his true passion.


Yup, he quit to talk to couples about relationships through his website and his podcast “Together” which ironically my wife and I were on.

Anyways, so far this has been my favorite episode that I have ever done.

I don’t think I have laughed this hard in a long time.

Not only does Erik have a fascinating view of what it takes to make a relationship work but he also taught me a lot of things in this interview.

Check it out!

Video Of This Episode (What It Takes To Make A Relationship Work With An Ex)

First off, I want to bring your attention to the fact that Erik and I had the exact same headphones!

Great minds think alike I guess.

What do you think of these videos?

Are they helpful for you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

What We Talk About In This Episode

  • The importance of buying your lady flowers
  • The problem with codependent relationships
  • What is good communication?
  • Conflict is an opportunity for greater depth
  • Desperation is a big no no
  • How “Gain Theory” applies to relationships
  • Psychological reactance

Important Links Mentioned In This Episode

Interview Transcript

What to Read Next

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11 thoughts on “What It Takes To Make A Relationship Work With An Ex (With Erik Newton)”

  1. Susan

    March 28, 2021 at 5:53 am

    Thank you so much for this content. I just found it after almost two years of an emotionally draining relationship which only lasted a year, it’s taken me months to even begin to start pulling apart the layers of trying to heal. I never realized how much I have been avoiding it because the pain was too great for me to face.

  2. Megan

    April 18, 2017 at 3:40 am

    This isn’t about an ex, but I don’t know who else to ask…
    I’ve been talking to a guy I really like on a dating app for a week now. We talked a lot on Saturday, quite a few messages throughout the day. Then I sent a pretty bold message and now he hasn’t responded. I then think I made a mistake by saying “sorry if that was too much”. Did I mess things up? and should I just wait for him to reply back? If so, for how long? I don’t want to come off as needy or annoying. I really like him and I’m wondering if I did something to make him stop messaging me and liking me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 25, 2017 at 2:51 pm

      What did you send him?

  3. Jane

    February 27, 2017 at 4:34 am

    Me and my ex start talking after the 30 days no contact. He still loves me but not the same as before the breakup. Right now, he only wants us as a friend with benefit and wanted to date other people. What shall I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2017 at 7:19 pm

      Hi Jane,

      refuse.. that’s not who you are. Remember your standards. How many days have you been talking since the end of nc? I think you need to a last one, if he’s still like after this second one, move on.

  4. Juli

    November 6, 2016 at 11:26 pm

    This isn’t really about this post I didn’t know how else to contact you. I just wanted to ask if this pro program work for basically any situation and can I use PayPal

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 7, 2016 at 6:33 pm

      Hi Juli

      currently we dont have Paypal yet.. The exboyfriend recovery pro covers the most common reasond like general break up, cheating and long distance

  5. Jenna

    October 13, 2016 at 7:53 am

    Hi I dated my boyfriend for 2.5 years after breaking up we talked back and forth this summer and hung out. we went 25 days with no contact. during no contact ive been working on myself cooking cleaning reorganizing working out being with friends. I even switched my shift as a nurse from nights to days to aid in my health part of the trinity. My coworkers and friends and even strangers have told me I’m glowing. This weekend after 25 days we saw each other at a bar not once but 3 days in a row. He talked to me all three times. He was drinking but we were smiling ear to ear flirting. He asked me to touch his face and smell it because he bought new shaving cream and the next night I told him I liked his shirt he said he knew when he was getting dressed if he saw me tonight I’d say something about the shirt. The next night he complimented me on my bun my flannel and even commented on my boobs. When he was leaving he came up to me and told me where he was going and with who almost like he was checking in like we were dating. I was feeling really good about all of our positive randon encounters (all at different bars). Hes friend pulled me aside and told me how when my ex gets drunk he tells this friend that he still loves me but wants to finish school( hes done in 8 weeks) he said he always has me in the back of his mind and doesn’t have any interest in other girls. I didn’t text him after any of our sightings. Something hed think i would normally do. Unfortunately my little brother had a seizure a day after we saw each other and I text my ex. He responded to me just saying his name within 15secs. I told him what was going on. He reassured me and then the next morning double texted me after I didn’t respond to his first text. We chatted for a bit. His response time was quick but the word count was less than mine. He didn’t seem as into it but I think he was at work or school. I followed what the book said and didn’t text him at all today. What do you think? Was this good? Should I go back to no contact? I’m a little nervous that he needs more time. Should I send a funny picture that relates to an inside joke for the next text?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 13, 2016 at 5:23 pm

      Hi Jenna,
      You’re doing great.. You don’t have to back in no contact just rest in texting in a day or two.. That’s good idea for the next too

  6. Chris

    October 5, 2016 at 1:39 am

    Thanks Chris for the great interview. I look forward to checking out his website and podcast!

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 5, 2016 at 5:11 pm


      Make sure you do it’s a great website.