When I look at breakups as a whole there seems to be one common theme that is consistent no matter the situation.

They bring out the worst in people.

It’s really not that much of a stretch if you really think about it though.

For example, a break up can make someone do any of the following,

Cry…

Yell…

Hurt inside…

Be Depressed…

Beg…

Basically you can name any negative emotion known to man and a break up probably can make you feel it.

So, when you put any human being in a situation where they are feeling these emotions they are probably going to say and do things that they really don’t mean.

Or do they?

Well, that is what we are going to be exploring today.

Welcome to Ex Boyfriend Recovery. This little community was created by yours truly,

yours truly

To help women navigate their breakups and help them increase their chances of getting their ex boyfriends back.

Your still looking at the body builder picture huh?

I have a weird sense of humor so you’ll have to forgive me.

Though I do like to keep things light here at EBR (Ex Boyfriend Recovery) since I have always found that laughter is the best medicine for healing a broken heart and your heart might be a little broken right now.

So hey, I am more than happy to make a fool out of myself for your amusement if it turns that frown upside down.

But I digress…

The real reason you are here today is to figure out what your ex boyfriend means when he says something to you.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

This Page Is The First Of It’s Kind

A few days ago a thought entered my head.

The thought?

Wouldn’t it be cool if there was something that served as a cheat sheet for women that would help them decipher what their ex meant when he said something.

For example, if an ex boyfriend said something like, “I fell out of love with you” wouldn’t it be cool if there was some sort of guide that a woman could reference to figure out what he really meant when he said that.

I mean, there are tons of things he could mean by that.

Let’s try another one.

I am sure you have heard the classic, “it’s not you, it’s me” line before?

its not you its me

Well, what does a man really mean when he says that to you?

So, like any curious person I went to Google to see if such a guide had been created and after searching around for 10 minutes (not a very long search i’ll admit) I couldn’t find anything.

That brings us to now.

I am going to create that type of a guide for you.

Seriously, ME, an actual guy is going to tell you what your ex boyfriend really means when he says things to you.

Pretty cool, huh?

Every breakup reason.

Every booty call.

EVERYTHING he says to you is finally going to be explained no holds barred.

Are you scared?

You should be.

No, I am just kidding.

Let’s move on and take a look at the topics I am going to be covering.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

The Format Of This Page

format of the meme

This page is going to be formatted in a specific way.

First I am going to talk about the “what your ex boyfriend says” portion of the section and then I am going to go into the “what he really means” portion of the section and give an in-depth explanation of what your ex boyfriend really means when he says things to you.

What “things” am I going to be covering?

  • “I hate you”
  • “Never talk to me again.”
  • “It’s not you, it’s me.”
  • “I never really loved you.”
  • “We will never get back together.”

I saved the best for last 😉 .

If you think of any to add then feel free to leave a comment in the comments section of this article and I will revisit this page sometime down the road and update it with new things you ladies are probably wondering about.

Shall we begin?

We do have a lot of ground to cover.

Your Ex Says He Hates You

I hate you

(Jeez… Chill out Anakin.)

I want you to do me a favor for a second here.

(Really this is a favor for yourself)

Scroll back up to the top of this page and read the introduction section.

Do you remember what I said there?

I said that breakups tend to bring out the worst in people.

After all, there is a reason that they compare losing a job to going through a break up, it sucks.

So, when you place a man (who is more aggressive than a woman) in a situation where he is going to be hurt/upset then it isn’t shocking to hear the words, “I hate you,” come out of his mouth.

Take me for example, I am a pretty nice guy.

I always do my best to treat people with the utmost respect and I was raised to always respect women.

Open doors…

Pay for meals…

You know, all that good stuff.

Yet, when you take me back to my very first relationship way back when I was a kiddo in high school I am pretty sure that when the inevitable break up did happen (and high school breakups are often inevitable) I muttered the words, “I hate you,” to my ex.

But did I mean it?

Actually, you know what?

Take me out of the equation entirely.

Do men mean it when they say they hate you?

What Does He Mean When He Says “I Hate You?”

what does this mean

Lets tackle this question as logically as we can.

Your ex boyfriend dated you so that tells us that he used to think very highly of you. I mean, I don’t know too many men that go into dating someone thinking,

“I don’t like her.”

Throughout your time together he probably told you,

He loved you…

Cared for you…

That you were his “one and only…”

I think you get the idea with what I am going for here.

So, when you take this into account I am relatively certain that your ex boyfriend doesn’t truly hate you.

What he is really saying is that he hates what has happened to your relationship.

He hates the situation.

He hates the way it makes him feel.

He hates the pain.

And since you are associated with the pain he is feeling you are going to get blamed by association.

Hence the, “I hate you” mantra he has adopted.

Above I mentioned that I may have muttered the words, “I hate you” to the very first girlfriend I had way back in high school. Now, I know a high school relationship that happened close to ten years ago isn’t exactly going to bring earth shattering revelations but bear with me here as I try to make my point.

Do you think I meant it when I said it?

Of course not.

I hated the way I was feeling.

I hated having a failed relationship and all that depressing stuff I mentioned above (with the pain and all that.)

But I also knew that it would hurt my ex girlfriend if I said it to her and since I wasn’t exactly what you would call a seasoned veteran when it came to handling breakups yet I wasn’t above revenge.

This is horrible for me to admit but I was young so you have to realize the immature mentality I had.

I literally thought to myself,

“What can I say to my ex girlfriend to make her feel as horrible as I feel right now? Hmm.. I know, I will tell her that I hate her and I wish I had never met her. That will hurt her.”

That’s not a very mature way of handling things is it?

The important takeaway that I want you to take from this negative experience that I am sharing is that most men don’t mean it when they say they hate you. Instead they are just projecting on how they feel about the situation they are currently in.

Of course, some men will say it with the intentions of hurting you as well.

So, there are really two things that men are trying to say when they say they hate you.

  1. I hate you = I hate the situation
  2. I hate you = I hope this hurts you so you can feel how I feel

Lets move on to another ex boyfriend favorite,

“Never talk to me again.”

Your Ex Tells You To Never Talk To Him Again

talk to me

There are really two situations that spring to mind when I hear from a woman who is wondering if her boyfriend really means it when he tells her to never contact him again.

  1. The couple got into a bad fight that culminated in the man saying “never talk to me again.”
  2.  The woman constantly bugs the guy and he gets so fed up that he tells her to never talk to him again.

In order to fully understand what an ex boyfriend really means when he says never talk to me again we must first understand exactly what these situations look like.

Situation 1- A Bad Fight Results In The Man Telling The Woman To Never Talk To Him Again

Lets do our first role play!

Lets pretend that I am your boyfriend and the two of us got into a massive fight over your cat.

Fun Fact: I am definitely not a cat person (I’m allergic) so I can definitely see myself getting into a fight with someone over a cat.

So, we go back and forth over your cat and the fight starts to evolve as bad fights usually do. What started out as a “friendly” sparring session over you cat turns ugly when we drag all kinds of unrelated things into the fight.

My parents… (HOW DARE YOU)

Your parents…

My gigantic muscles… (seen above)

How the house never gets cleaned…

How I never take out the trash.

(You get the idea)

The fight gets so bad that we break up over it.

A few days pass after the break up and you attempt to reach out to me.

“Hey..”

What is my response?

“I thought I told you to never talk to me again.”

What the heck do I mean by that?

Well, I will tell you in a second but first lets tackle the second situation I see a lot of when it comes to men saying, “never talk to me again,” to their ex girlfriends.

Situation 2- You Annoy Your Ex So Much After The Breakup That He Tells You To Never Talk To Him Again

Lets stick with the cat example above since we had so much fun with that.

So, the two of us used to date and we broke up due to a horrible fight over your cat.

cat

After the breakup you realize that you made a horrible mistake and you want me back.

(It’s about time you came to your senses.)

Well, your strategy for getting me back involves messaging me about 30 times a day and calling me about 10.

Obviously I like the attention at first but then it gets to be a little too much and I begin to resent you for it.

Eventually your efforts get so out of hand that I can’t stand to hear from you anymore.

It is only when I am pushed to this point that I lay down the law.

“Don’t talk to me anymore.”

What It Means When An Ex Boyfriend Tells You To Never Talk To Him Again

what does that even mean

Obviously since I divided this particular topic up into two different situations,

  1. The couple got into a bad fight that culminated in the man saying “never talk to me again.”
  2.  The woman constantly bugs the guy and he gets so fed up that he tells her to never talk to him again.

There are two completely different meanings behind an ex saying “never talk to me again.”

Just like above I am going to divide this section up into two categories,

  1. What it means when an ex says “never talk to me again” in situation 1
  2. What it means when an ex says “never talk to me again” in situation 2

Lets start off on a good note first and talk about category number one!

What It Means When Your Ex Boyfriend Says “Never Talk To Me Again” In Situation 1

For those of you who have horrible memories situation 1 is a situation in which you and your ex boyfriend get into a massive fight and the fight is culminated with our five favorite words,

“Don’t talk to me again.”

The thing that you really have to keep in mind here is the fact that your ex is saying this from a highly emotional state.

Breakups have this funny ability to make even the nicest of people turn into angry lunatics.

(Seriously, I have seen it firsthand.)

So, if you got caught in the crossfire of a heated breakup and your boyfriend said this to you then don’t take it personally.

I am sure if he was honest with himself he really doesn’t mean it.

Besides, I can probably give you hundreds of examples where an ex boyfriend said this to an ex girlfriend and then HE ends up being the one that gets in contact with her.

Now, if you are wondering what is going on in his mind to make him say this in the heat of the moment then look no further than the curious case of emotional states.

I don’t care how “well behaved” a man is.

If you push a man hard enough you can always get him to say things he doesn’t mean.

We are dealing with a real life human being here and human beings are imperfect. They are going to say things they don’t mean from time to time. This is especially true if you get into a bad fight with one.

What it all boils down to is the emotional state that your ex boyfriend was in when he said “never talk to me again.”

Since we are looking specifically at him AFTER a fight you can bet good money on the fact that he was in a very negative emotional state and as a result he is going to say things that aren’t very logical.

In other words, he doesn’t mean it when he says “never talk to me again.”

But what about the other situation?

Good question!

What It Means When An Ex Says “Never Talk To Me Again” In Situation 2

Situation 2 is vastly different than situation 1.

It looks specifically at a scenario where you (the ex girlfriend) goes a little crazy and contacts him too much.

How does that look?

Here’s a good example,

crazy annoying

Notice how this girl, Cordelia, is sending waaaayyyyy too many messages to her ex boyfriend.

(Cordelia is a Buffy reference by the way 😉 .)

Though that’s not all that Cordelia is doing.

In addition to sending a bunch of unanswered texts she is also calling her ex boyfriend up.

Of course, holding true to his form he ignores the calls.

missed call

In fact, Cordelia is acting is being so annoying to him that he sends her what she considers to be the kiss of death,

dont talk to me again

There it is…

“Don’t talk to me again.”

But do you think her ex boyfriend means it?

Yes he does…

BUT ONLY IN EXTREME CASES.

I am going to tell you the story of a girl that I went out on a date with a long time ago.

Now, I did not have a relationship with this girl but the same principle is going to apply.

The two of us went out on one date and after some thinking on my part I decided to inform her in a subtle way that I was not interested in her. Now, I didn’t want to completely cut her out of my life. I was willing to remain friends with her and I explained this to her.

She did not take too kindly to this.

Instead of just remaining friends she treated me like I was some sort of boyfriend that scorned her.

She turned into a “Cordelia.”

Now, I am the kind of person that absolutely hates confrontation so I didn’t want to have to start a fight with her but I knew I was going to have to lay down the law when I got a similar text message to this one day,

crazy text

Just to put this in perspective this wasn’t the first time something like this happened with this particular girl.

It was just the latest (and it was by far the worst.)

It was at this point that my “friendly” nature ceased to exist and Reid (as my wife likes to call him) came out.

Reid is my middle name in case you were wondering.

My wife likes to tease me that any time I get “moody” or “angry” that it’s really Reid and not me.

Well, Reid came out in spades.

reid

This was my way of saying “never talk to me again” and I meant it.

In fact, I went so far that I blocked her number from my phone forever.

So, if you ever needed motivation to stop contacting your ex after the breakup this is it.

Let’s move on.

It’s Not You, It’s Me

invented

Ah, the good ole, “it’s not you, it’s me” line.

I can’t hep it but every time I hear this I always immediately think of George from Seinfield.

(I attached a gif image at the beginning of this article depicting Georgie’s thoughts on this 😉 .)

Anyways, I just had to throw that in.

The thing I would like to turn your attention to when explaining this is that the phrase “it’s not you, it’s me” can take many forms.

Too many women think that those exact five words have to be muttered to them for them to be eligible victims and that’s just not true.

The “it’s not you, it’s me” line has many variations.

For example, lets say that the two of us were dating and one day I call you up and say,

“Hey, I had a really good time with you but I’m not feeling this anymore… It’s nothing you did but I think we just need to go our separate ways.”

Believe it or not but the phrase that I just muttered to you over the breakup phone call is a longer variation of the “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Seriously, really take a look at the phrase.

“Hey, I had a really good time with you but I’m not feeling this anymoreIt’s nothing you did but I think we just need to go our separate ways.”

You will noticed that I bolded two parts.

Let’s dissect them.

“I’m not feeling this anymore”

By an ex saying this to you he is making you aware that he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore. That much is common sense. What you may not realize though is that by him saying “I’m not feeling this anymore” he is satisfying the “it’s me” part of the “it’s not you, it’s me” phrase we are dissecting in this section.

Lets move on the second part.

“It’s nothing you did”

Not too hard to dissect this one.

Your ex is basically telling you that you didn’t do anything to make him leave.

He’s informing you that you are innocent in this.

“It’s not you..”

Do you see what happened here?

I am waiting for a million light bulbs to go off…

The entire phrase above basically flip flopped the “it’s not you, it’s me” parts into “it’s me, it’s not you.”

It’s just harder to see since it is disguised cleverly around a lot of words but if you look hard enough (the bold parts) you will see it.

Lets move on to the fun part and dissect what your ex boyfriend really means if he gives you the Seinfeld excuse.

What He Means When He Says “It’s Not You, It’s Me”

Your ex boyfriend is a liar and I am going to prove why.

Let’s do a fun little exercise.

You know your boyfriend pretty well, right?

Which celebrity does he have a small crush on?

(Since I can’t hear your answers I am just going to have to make up one for you.)

Lets say that your boyfriend has a massive crush on Megan Fox (since she seems to be everyone’s definition of “hot” right now.)

Megan Fox Wallpapers

Alright, so lets say that your ex boyfriend is dating the woman of his dreams, Megan Fox.

Realistically can you picture him telling Megan Fox, “it’s not you, it’s me?”

I can’t…

Heck, I can’t even picture him breaking up with her.

Look, any many who gives you this sch-peel of “it’s not you, it’s me” is lying to you.

What he is really trying to tell you is that “it’s you, it’s not me.”

Men don’t leave women who they think are worth it. They leave the women they think aren’t worth it. They leave the women that they think they can do better than.

Picture a scale of 1-10.

1-10

Let’s say that when your ex boyfriend first started dating you he determined that you were an 8 on the scale,

1-10

As your relationship goes on he lowers your value to a 6

1-10 copy

Well, in his mind he is going to think “I can do better than her” at this point and that is where to start to see the “it’s not you’s, it’s me” come into play.

The truth is that in his mind it is you.

“It’s not me, it’s you” = “It’s you, it’s not me”

I Never Really Loved You…

never

OUCH!

If your ex boyfriend mutters these words to you then I imagine it must sting pretty badly.

I mean, saying “I love you” to someone and meaning it in that deep personal way is a big deal. So, to hear that your ex boyfriend could potentially be throwing all of that out the window is especially painful.

To be honest I am not sure that this one requires too much of a buildup.

Your ex boyfriend says “I never really loved you” to you…

There, build up done!

Lets move…

Actually, you know what?

I just thought of something.

Let’s generalize this.

If you really think about it an ex boyfriend who says that he never really loved you is probably doing so during a highly emotional moment. So, when I start explaining what he really means when he says this to you I want to operate under the assumption that he is in a highly emotional situation.

What constitutes as a high emotional situation?

  • A breakup
  • A fight
  • Anything like these situations (I couldn’t think of anymore :p )

Ok, lets move on and dissect this one.

What It Means If He Told You That He Never Really Loved You

does it mean

This situation is very similar to situation number 1 when a boyfriend tells you to never talk to him again.

If you recall, in that situation an ex doesn’t really mean it. He is just reacting to the situation he is in (which is highly emotional.)

Well, this situation is very similar to that except there is a small twist.

In my opinion, if an ex boyfriend tells you that he never really loved you he is just doing so to hurt your feelings and doesn’t really mean it at all.

Lets look at things from his perspective for a moment.

He is going through a breakup.

The two of you are probably fighting a lot.

He isn’t as good at handling his emotions as you are.

(In case you missed it I have talked multiple times at how men are more physical and woman are more emotional and this helps women handle their emotions better than men.)

Oh, and if you were the one that broke up with your ex boyfriend then it adds that extra little cherry on top.

From your ex boyfriends perspective you are the villain and what do men generally do when they come across a villain?

They try to hurt them and knock them down a peg.

So, what is the best way of accomplishing this?

Saying something super hurtful to you.

I never really loved you” seems to do quite nicely in this circumstance, huh?

Thousands of women come to this site every single day and every single day they freak out over stuff like this. The truth of the matter is that I don’t even take it that seriously. I just look at it as an ex boyfriend trying to say something hurtful.

Deep down he doesn’t really mean it.

“I never really loved you” = What can I say to hurt her the most?

We Will Never Get Back Together

getting back together

I saved the best for last.

This is probably the whole reason you wanted to read this article anyways, right?

Heck, I wouldn’t even be shocked if you just scrolled straight down to this section and skipped all the others.

I will say one thing.

Without a doubt this is one of the top questions that I get asked on a daily basis.

Usually it goes a little something like this,

“Chris, my boyfriend told me that we have no chance of getting back together with him, ZERO. Do you think he’s right? Is it over for me?”

This is a question I can’t wait to tackle in-depth.

So, rather than spend 500 words setting this up I am just going to get right down to the meat of this.

What He Really Means When He Says You Two Will Never Get Back Together

text mean

Lets take a big view of exes in general.

More specifically, the industry I am currently a part of.

What if I were to tell you that this is a million dollar industry?

What if I were to tell you that your beloved Ex Boyfriend Recovery site is still a small fish in a big pond?

Would you believe me?

Well, it’s true.

There are hundreds of so called experts out there that are trying to capitalize on your dollars.

Now, that may be a scary thing for you to hear since the last thing you want is to be taken advantage of.

Oh, by the way you should check out my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO 😉 .

No, I am just kidding.

The point I am trying to get at here is that the only reason that this industry is considered “thriving” is because couples do get back together. Heck, couples say the meanest possible things to each other and still get back together.

“I hate you…”

(Back together in a week!)

“Burn in he**”

(Back together in a day!)

“We are never getting back together again”

(Back together in 3 months!)

If your ex boyfriend says that the two of you will never get back together again then I wouldn’t take it to heart because I have seen too much flip flopping in my time to buy into it completely.

Now, lets not completely discredit all men.

There are some that really do mean it when they say we are never getting back together again.

However, in my opinion I think them saying it is really a function of what was done to them in the relationship.

The Importance Of Percentages

I like assigning percentage values to situations based on how high the chances of success are for a reconnection.

This percentage number is assigned based on my personal knowledge and experience seeing a lifetime worth of breakups.

For example, a general breakup would have a 30% chance of a reconnection. What I try to do is help women move that number up substantially.

So, maybe a general breakup percentage starts at 30% but after using my strategies it gets bumped up to 50%.

Of course, not all breakups are created equal.

Some percentage values are much lower than the 30% mark.

For example, if you take two of the hardest situations,

  • Cheating
  • He Gets A New Girlfriend

Instead of those situations starting at the general 30% mark they would start at the 10 – 20% marks respectively.

Obviously these situations are harder to succeed in.

It is in these situations that an ex boyfriend would be more likely to mean it if he said, “we are never getting back together.”

Get it?

No?

Ok, let me dig a little deeper for you.

Lets say that the two of us were dating and you cheated on me with my best friend…

Actually, lets make things worse and say that I walked in on you and him in bed together.

Ok, not only would that scar/mess me up for life but if I would say, “we are never getting back together,” to you then I would mean it.

It’s these extreme situations that have a low percentage of success that you have to watch out for. Those are the types of situations where an ex boyfriend could mean it if he says that he never wants to get back with you.

Here’s a quick rundown of the situations where he could say “we are never getting back together” and mean it.

  • He cheated on you
  • You cheated on him
  • He gets a new girlfriend

Now, before I finish this article up finally I want to make sure that you fully grasp what I am telling you here.

It is only in the most extreme situations where he might really mean what he is saying.

So, what it all boils down to is a function of how severe the damage during the relationship was to him.

We Are Never Getting Back Together = If you hurt me too much during the relationship I could mean this

Of course, I have also helped women get back with their exes in all the situation above so technically nothing is set in stone…

Just saying.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

WHY HE SAID I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU AGAIN

hurt you

What the HECK?!?!

This is the most mind boggling statement he could make, right?

I’m going to give you the secret as to why he said this! Ready?

He’s just trying to come off as the good guy here. It’s really that simple.

By saying,

“I don’t want to hurt you again”

He is making himself sound like the hero. He’s trying to sound like he’s protecting you but in reality he’s only being selfish.

What a hero, right?

WHAT HE REALLY MEANS WHEN HE SAYS I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU AGAIN?

hurt you

It sounds like some kind of BS line to me. Let’s face it, if he really didn’t want to hurt you again, the solution is simple…

He shouldn’t do anything stupid. 🙂

There are a million different ways that he could hurt you. Let’s take a moment to dissect some of them.

The first one that comes to mind is Cheating.

Well, absolutely that would hurt you, but could he prevent this?

Yes, he most certainly can.

So, the,

“I don’t want to hurt you again” statement doesn’t really hold up here.

What about if he was emotionally abusive?

He could go to therapy and get help. There are many things he could do to try to preserve your relationship instead of backing out and giving you the excuse of,

“I don’t want to hurt you again.”

But in this case I personally believe you should be the one breaking up with him anyway.

He could be afraid of commitment so as the relationship gets closer he is backing away.

You are looking for a life with him.

Marriage, children the whole nine yards but if he’s not ready to commit to you then he may use the line “I don’t want to hurt you again” especially if he’s expressed his feelings on the subject already.

We could go on and on all day about ways he could hurt you but when it comes down to it it’s a way for him to remove himself from the relationship and look like the good guy. Some guys really are that concerned with their image.

How do I know?

Well, I am a guy and I have actually seen this done first hand to a girl before.

YAY STORY TIME!

My best friend in college was what I would classify as a total ladies man. What do I mean by that?

Simple, this guy knew how to get a woman eating out of the palm of his hand. Now, I remember the first time I watched him work his voodoo on a girl I was impressed but after a while it became clear that the girl he worked “said voodoo on” was way more attached to him than he was to her.

Thus, a breakup was inevitable.

But my buddy was so obsessed with being perceived as the “good guy” that he decided to use the,

“I just know that if we keep dating I am going to hurt you and I don’t want that for you”

Line.

Tsk.. Tsk… Tsk….

All so he could protect his good guy image.

WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS

best friends

I want you to take a moment and imagine something for me.

You are living the perfect life. You have a great family, a great job, great friends and a great boyfriend. But one day you notice your boyfriend has a very sad look on his face.

You’ve seen this look before.

It’s the look of a man who is about to deliver some bad news to you.

That’s when he does it.

He breaks up with you.

But he can’t help just adding in this one line…

“We can still be friends.”

You’ve been intimate on every level, emotionally and physically and he wants to be friends!?!?

At that moment it feels like he is trying to stay in your life and that’s good, right? WRONG!

What’s really going on in his head?

Why would he say that?

Does he actually mean it or is he just saying it?

Perhaps he wants to stay friends to have the possibility of getting back together in the future?

These are all questions you are probably found yourself asking.

I am going to give you the low down on all of these unanswered questions and really bring you into the mind of a male.

Are you ready?

It can be a scary place… but the good news is I am going to walk you through it and give you guidance on what to do if he says he just wants to be friends.

WHAT DOES HE MEAN WHEN HE SAYS WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS?

cop out

This is the easiest way for your ex to break up with you. He doesn’t have to hurt your feelings in his mind because he still wants to be friends. It also secures a backup girlfriend in case his “post you” dating escapades don’t work out.

Think of it this way, he’s got you on the sidelines waiting around for him while he does whatever he wants. He may even try a friends with benefits situation down the line.

Take a look at this graphic.

graphic

Through this graphic I am showing you what’s going on in his head.

Your lost in a sea of women.

Just another number.

But there are two ways to break this trick he’s pulling…

The best thing you can do in this situation is to say,

“Sure we can be friends” and then start your no contact.

The second thing is becoming an ungetttable girl. You can read more about becoming an ungettable girl here.

But I will give you a brief description of how to do both here. First off, you will have to go completely ghost on him. Do not answer his texts if he texts you. Don’t answer his calls. Don’t “accidentally” call him. 😉 (I see this happen daily) This is probably the most difficult thing that you are going to have to go through.

Your brain is hardwired to talk to him but like I said above, you can’t. So, I am going to teach you a trick that I don’t think I have ever talked about on Ex Boyfriend Recovery before.

I want you to write down his number on a piece of paper twice.

Put one in your dresser and one in a small lock box.

Now, go out and buy a calendar. It’s important that this calendar is something that you love to look at everyday. There are so many different ones out there, Island paradise calendars, pictures of Europe calendars, puppies, kittens, babies, hot air balloons etc.

Pick one that will make you feel good every time you look at it.

Put your calendar up in plain view where you will see it daily and circle the date that your no contact period is up.

Are you with me so far?

Yes?

No?

Maybe?

So?

Ok, here comes the hard part.

I want you to delete his number!

That’s right, completely delete it from your phone. This way you will not have any temptations or “accidents.” You will still have his number in two different spots so you won’t have to worry about never getting it back again.

Oh and one more thing with regards to no contact.

Do not block him.

I repeat do not block him on anything. That will only make your life way harder. Just don’t answer any texts or calls that are from unknown numbers.

Got it?

Good!

Let’s move on and talk about the ungettable girl.

I want you to take out that same calendar and mark a weekly goal. I want you to put something on there daily and do it.

For example, if you want to look your best maybe you would put:

March 1st- Hair coloring appointment.
March 2nd- Start Gym Membership. (Or specific workouts at home.)
March 3rd- Go to a makeup demo.
March 4th- Paint nails.
March 5th- Join a co-ed indoor soccer team.

You get the point.

Not only will this distract you and give you something to focus on other than your ex, it will give you confidence. You will look and feel your best!

The other part to being an ungettable girl is to become the girl that every man wants.

Even if you technically aren’t there are specific ways to portray this persona.

For example, when you finally go on that first date with your ex boyfriend walk in front of him since women typically walk in front of men on dates and look at a guy (who is not your ex.) The idea here is to make it look like this other guy is checking you out.

Let’s role play this for a second.

Lets say that I am a woman.

Let’s call me….

CHRISTINA SEITER!

christina

Isn’t that a pretty woman?

I certainly think so haha!

Anyways, lets pretend that I am on a date with my ex and I want to try this method out. I am walking into a restaurant and since my ex is a gentlemen he holds the door open for me. As I am walking in I notice that there is a man walking towards me. Well, I would look at him out of the corner of my eye.

Now, the important thing to understand here is that it’s obvious to this other man that I am looking at him. And what do people do when they are looked at?

THEY LOOK BACK.

But here is the most genius part.

My ex is behind me the entire time. So, even though I am technically the one who made the guy look at me, to my ex it looks like this guy is checking me out. Oh, and since I am such a good looking girl the guy “checking me out” smiles and nods.

Extra bonus points! 🙂

But lets get out of this fantasy world where I am a woman and come back to the real world where I am teaching you to become the ungettable girl.

Another interesting aspect of the UG is that they are always busy. You want to be independent. If you’ve been with your ex for a long time the chances are pretty high that you are depending on him too much. Whether it’s for emotional stability or happiness you will have to show him that you can be happy on your own. It’s nice to feel wanted and needed and he will miss that feeling after a while.

Overall, this situation is actually wonderful for a breakup because he’s thinking your going to be friends with him but little does he know he is getting the cold shoulder for a few weeks so he can reassess his decision and during this time your becoming a version of yourself that he have never met before.

Such is the path of the ungettable girl.

I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY

dont like you

So this is one of my favorite lines. “I never liked you anyway.”

You should be thinking,

“Come on, we’ve dated for 6 months, a year, two years and yet you threw away all of your precious time to a person you never even liked. HAHA”

It’s almost comical when a guy says this to his ex but it happens everyday.

It’s a very similar situation to the “I never loved you” comment that I’ve mentioned before. They are similar comments but ironically have completely different meanings. I think it’s safe to say that if your ex has told you that he never loved you the cut from that would be very deep. That is such a hurtful thing to say. Saying I never liked you definitely hurts but it’s a poor man’s “I never loved you.”

That’s the truth.

WHY YOUR EX SAID I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY

dont like you

Take my friend “Bob” for example,

(By the way Bob is a fake name for a friend.)

His girlfriend and him were dating for 2 years and they got into a heated argument and he brings out the world famous line,

“Well, I never even liked you.”

You see, Bob and his ex were fighting over money which is one of the top reasons couples fight.

He had the gall to say, “I can’t believe you bought that $150 dress”

(This coming from a man who bought 3 video games that ended up costing the same as the dress.)

Guess what happened next?

Yup, you got it!

Bob’s ex went bat shit crazy and started throwing his games around while yelling and crying. Ultimately this was the last fight of their relationship. She walked out completely.

A few days passed and she started thinking to herself,

“Man, I think I made a mistake.”

So, she decided to call him again in an attempt to patch things up. But Bob, being the genius he is, decides to bring up the whole video game debacle again and the two of them started arguing again!

That’s when he said it…

“Well, I never even liked you anyways…”

Her heart dropped to the floor. She kept thinking,

“He can’t really mean that, right?”

So, why did Bob say it?

I remember asking him,

“Why did you say that to her?”

This was his response:

“I am just so sick of fighting with her. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

Apparently Bob thought that this would be the easiest way to stop the fight and to get rid of her (for the time being.)

I WISH I NEVER MET YOU

never met you meme

Coming from a guy that probably said,

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me”

and

“I’m so glad I met you”

Throughout your relationship.

It probably threw you off completely hearing him say I wish I never met you.

So, lets take a moment and dissect what’s really going on in his head.

WHAT HE REALLY MEANS WHEN HE SAYS I WISH I NEVER MET YOU

The truth is that it could mean several different things. The first thing that comes to mind is one of my favorite quotes from Good Will Hunting.

“Most days I wish I never met you because then I could sleep at night and I wouldn’t have to walk around with the knowledge there was someone like you out there.”

Something tells me your ex didn’t say it in this way, otherwise you probably wouldn’t be on this site.

But the light at the end of the tunnel is that what he really meant when he says he wishes he never met you is that he is very hurt by you. You’ve brought out such strong feelings that he cannot deal with. It’s actually not the worst thing when a guy reacts emotionally like this because it means that he has feelings towards you. Even if they are negative feelings, he still has passion when it comes to you.

If he was nonchalant and aloof then you should worry a little more.

Oftentimes men don’t know how to express themselves as well as women do and so they resort to the easiest thing that comes to mind.

It’s pretty childish really.

They say things they don’t mean and a lot of times they end up regretting it. It never feels good to fight. In the moment it relieves some stress but later people often feel bad about it.

I’d be willing to bet your ex will regret or at least feel bad about things he says to you in the heat of the moment at some point.
Even when he says things like “I wish I never met you.”

What to Read Next

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860 thoughts on “What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means”

  1. Avatar

    Bailey

    July 4, 2020 at 4:30 pm

    We broke up yesterday and he was silent during the break up what does that mean? He said nothing hurtful on the way out the door or packing all of his stuff. He was completely silent and only talked when I said something. The only thing he said was that he didn’t need help with packing and to leave him alone. Please please help me understand!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 4, 2020 at 10:01 pm

      Hi Bailey, it was his way of dealing with the break up. Some scream and shout, some talk through it, and others choose to run from it. This is his fight or flight kicking in. You need to follow the 30 day No Contact rule and work on yourself before you start reaching out to him in a months time

  2. Avatar

    J

    June 16, 2020 at 8:03 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years going into 3 but we recently broke up a month ago. We were engaged so the break up really messed me up. I immediately started no contact & after the 30 days he reached out to me & started talking to me again. The first few weeks were going well but then he became very hot & cold & started giving me mixed signals. I just don’t understand what he wants & I feel like messed up my chances of us getting back together. He says he cares about me & has love for me & still will but isn’t in love with me? I don’t understand how his feelings can disappear so quickly.. what should I do? I feel stuck & I really love this guy.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 16, 2020 at 9:01 pm

      Hey J the main thing you need to do is work on yourself so that you do not feel that you are so upset by the break up. Where you reach a point of being happy focusing on being the best version of yourself. If you have not done so yet you need to complete a period of No Contact for at least 30 days

  3. Avatar

    Molly

    June 6, 2020 at 7:31 pm

    My boyfriend of 4 and a half years broke up with me 5 days ago, after I discovered he had been pursuing another girl behind my back. He told me that he felt differently about our relationship, that he wasn’t in love with me anymore, that he didn’t see how we could be together, that there was too much pressure… whilst also telling me he cared about me and loved me and would never abandon me.
    He of course said “let’s still be friends”, but I said no, it’s too difficult. I tried to say that we can always find a way to fix things (even the cheating), but he was defiant. I said “if you walk out that door, this will be the last time we see or speak to each other”. He left, I broke down and he returned twice to hug me, said I love you and then truly left.
    We’ve had no contact since then, until today.
    I went to his to speak to him, as I had things I wanted to say so I knew for myself, I had done everything I could for our relationship. As I still truly love him deeply and my relationship is important to me. We talked, and he still said the same things. He couldn’t leave the past behind, he didn’t feel the same, he couldn’t see how he could feel like he did before this, our relationship was too dramatic, and he thought we couldn’t and shouldn’t be together. I tried to leave twice after dying a true farewell, accepting his no, and he came after me both times. Saying that he still wants to be friends, I’m his best friend, and he hoped in the near future he could contact me to better articulate his feelings. I said no, as I didn’t want to be friends and the cheating makes friendship impossible.
    I did leave, we hugged and said goodbye.
    I kept my composure the entire time too.

    I desperately hope he regrets his decisions and contacts me. I am not going to contact him. What do you think our chances are?

    In that talk today, I said I was willing to do what was needed for our relationship, what I felt had gone wrong and for us to leave the past behind and press the reset button. But I feel my words fell on death ears.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 17, 2020 at 12:19 am

      Hey Molly, giving that you work on yourself and strive to get that Ungettable mindset then yes your ex is going to regret his decision because when you reach the Ungettable mindset and being the best version of yourself he is going to realise he made a mistake to let you go

  4. Avatar

    Antonina

    May 19, 2020 at 3:07 pm

    Hi everyone! My ex broke up with me 35 days ago. During that time I ‘ve tried to do no contact. We were 3 years together and he broke up with me one month before he moved into my flat. He had signed a half contract already and now he quit it. I am still looking for a flatmate. He broke up with me saying “it is over. I cannot be with you. You are selfish and egoistic. I dont like your lifestyle”. When i asked if there is a chance getting back together he said no. Immediately after the break up I sent him an email where I apologise, i apologised once more the next day and I took all my stuff from his flat, i transfered him 300 euros and i disappeared. He has texted one time after 2 weeks asking how i am and what’s going on with the flat. I told him that when I find a new flatmate they will contact him (I talked to him completely neutral) and then I ended the conversation. He said he would go to his parents -i didnt ask him and I also didn’t comment on that . The 2nd time was on the 11th of May where he asked me how it is going with the flat. I responded a day later and i explained that it takes longer because of reasons and that I understand he is afraid of loosing money but i kindly asked him to be patient because I need to get out of town for a few days. He told me he didn’t want to push me with the flat question and that he doesn’t care about the money and he wants me to get out of this stress asap and of course to get out of town and enjoy my days. I was kind and not very cold after that. We chatted a bit, I made an inside joke we laughed and he ended the conversation. Today I texted him for the first time on day 35 by myself and I asked him something about a cable I wanted to buy, because he is a sound engineer and he can only answer that. He answered immediately and he said it’s a pleasure to help and he made a small joke when he ended the conversation. I am not gonna text him again. That was it from my side I believe. But it sounds like he is being friendly/neutral like me, right? Do you think there are chances to turn things around in the future? Thank you for reading my long message! I really appreciate it!! Have a beautiful week!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 9, 2020 at 11:39 pm

      Hey Antonina, yes it is possible but it means that you are going to have to work through the program implementing the information in these articles.

  5. Avatar

    Your girl

    May 18, 2020 at 9:36 am

    Me and my ex of 8 months have broken up yesterday.our relation was an on/off
    .we used to fight alot..he always pointed out my mistakes whenever we brokeup and then always came back by taking this as an excuse..but we were not happy..because he always thought that I was at fault even if I was not.. sometimes I was surely at fault but my intentions were never to hurt him..he just could not understand my feelings and the reasons behind the way I behaved.. he just kept on feeling depressed because of my insecurities and jealousy.. but he never think about the point that what made me feel like this.. no matter what we never gave up on this relationship. Since last month things were going extremely crazy.. and he said he was getting mentally upset..and then he asked for space.. even after space he didnt talk to me in positive way..and fought again w9th me..then I said take more space.. after that he came back yesterday after having space..and right away yesterday I found out that he hide from me about his female friend which I came to know about myself.when I asked him he told me that he met her before our relationship and she was beautiful and that she help him in studies and sent me screenshots of their chat in which both parties were frankly joking with each other..teasing too…this fact hurted me that he never told me about this..I felt broken because he never gave me a chance to help him in his studies..I said that I dint want him now.. and in anger I blocked him from everything.then he texted me and again he didnt feel sorry but he said that again I made a mistake by doubting him..he said he just came back today after space and I right away created a mess again..he said he hates me..and also told me that he is fine with this relation and will never come back..do you think it is over ?is there any chance?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 11:11 pm

      Hey there, so I would suggest that you spend some time in NC so that your ex has some space and in that time you need to learn about how to control your emotions when you speak to him next

  6. Avatar

    Sofia

    April 30, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    Hi there,

    My ex and I broke up about a month and a half ago. We dated for about 9 months. Everything was good, yes we fought a few times because he said I was always pushy and selfish. Every time we fought I tried to talk to him so we could fix things instead of giving him his space. When we broke up for good he said a lot of hurtful things to me. Deep down I don’t believe them all but some other things I do. When we broke up he called me after a week of not talking to tell me that we were never getting back together and to never contact him again. He blocked me and I left a few voicemail telling him how much I miss him, truly I didn’t know he could get those, I was just leaving them for the sake on me moving on. A little close to a month I contacted him again and asked him if we can talk and end things in good terms. He went off on me and told me that he had asked me not to contact him never again. That he was in a relationship already and he was happy with her, this was a month after we ended things. He threatened me with a restraining order and I got scared. He blocked me again so I contacted him from other people’s phones because I was scared. After me begging him not to do that he told me that he wasn’t going to if I leave him alone. I also found out he had heard all my voicemails. After this we didn’t talk for 3 days so I wanted closure and left him a voicemail saying that all I wanted was for us to end things in good terms and I promised that he didn’t need a restraining order because I wasn’t going to contact him never again. That same day he texted me and told me he was willing to talk but that we were never getting back together. I told him that I didn’t want to get back together but end things on good term because we had a great relationship. We made amazing memories and had good times. He told me that he never loved me and that all he wanted from me was sex and a good time. That same day he called me to tell me the final good bye and told me so many sweet things about my parents who he never met and my siblings. He thanked me for the amazing times we had and that i was a great woman to him. He always felt loved and appreciated by me and he was thankful for it. Truly idk what to think, he was a good man with me, for 9 months we shared a lot of things together, great dates, trips, he was a gentleman. He spoke with my mother once and meet my siblings and best friends. His sisters knew about me and all the things we did together. He shared some of his darkest and most hurtful times with me, I saw him at his worse and he told me that he had never done this because everyone else always judged him, but I didn’t. I know I pushed him, begged him and didn’t give him his space. It hurts that it was so easy for him to move on so quick when I can’t. I do want him back but he is the type of man that his word means a lot. I started no contact with him since the last time we talked. It’s been a week and I am making sure I am good but some days a bad.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 7, 2020 at 5:00 pm

      Hey Sofia, I am so sorry that you are finding it difficult to deal with your break up but it is so important that you stop reaching out to him, and not using other peoples phones to contact him too. You need to give him some real space before he is going to be willing to hear you out. Also closure is a state of mind and it is not something he is going to be able to give you as he is not willing to tell you what you want to hear. IF you want to try and get him back then your first step would be 45 days No Contact and working extremely hard on your emotional control during that time

  7. Avatar

    Joy

    April 15, 2020 at 8:22 pm

    We dated for just a month and I already fell deeply for him but the relationship wasn’t going that smoothly because we haven’t understand each other better,he decided to break up with me and I said crazy things to him which I regretted, I apologized to him, said he has forgiven me,he still loves me but not ready to be committed again,he can’t risk it we should be good friends, I don’t know what to do because I’m still I love with him

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 18, 2020 at 4:49 pm

      Hi Joy, I would suggest giving it some time in NC and then reaching out again and building up your connection after 30 days NC

  8. Avatar

    Kim

    March 29, 2020 at 3:26 am

    So my ex and I have been broken up for 6 weeks after dating and living together for 1 1/2 years. He became distant in the relationship and so I asked him what was wrong, he said that “nothing was making him happy in the world” not even me. I suggested maybe it would be best if I left and we could see if thats what he needed to feel better because he was very confused. He just felt like he had fallen out of love with everything. After a month of no contact I contacted him wanting to talk and looking for closure and he just seemed like he really didn’t want to see me and “couldn’t understand why i needed to see him in person”. His messages were short and sharp. I persisted and met him at his house however, he was not the same guy I knew, the man I knew was sweet and kind however this guy was rude and indifferent. I asked him if he felt sad at all after the relationship and he said no, I asked if he missed me at all since and he said he only misses my food and my body. I asked him to look me in the eyes and say that he had absolutley no feeling for me, which he did. I don’t know if he was being so cruel because I was acting so happy and because he pointed out “you’re handling this alot better than I thought”. Either way he was completley out of character and I cant believe that he’s changed so drastically. He kept saying stuff like “you’re more attractive than me, you’re smarter than me and you’re going further in life than me” and if he really thinks that how can he be so willing to let me go? We even got talking about friends and I’ve made a really close male friend and he said i should “give him a shot” certainly if he had feelings for me at all he wouldnt tell me to date someone else.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 6, 2020 at 2:31 pm

      Hi Kim, it sounds as if your ex is struggling with his own issues if he is unhappy with life. I would suggest that you go into another No Contact of 45 days. And this time work on your emotional control so that you do not go through this conversation again – it honestly pushes him further away. You need to show your ex that you are focusing on yourself, bettering yourself in ways you want, and making sure you are HAPPY in life. Read about the Holy Trinity and focus on that, and when your no contact ends reaching out to your ex should be short, positive and unemotional conversations. You need to behave as if you are indifferent to him.

  9. Avatar

    Sarah Pratley

    March 24, 2020 at 3:11 pm

    Hi I lasted 18 days of no contact and as my mum got more ill I reached out to him with a msg..I said I really wished he was here. He unblocked me on WhatsApp and said..I will always be there for you but this was bad timing of our separation and if I wanted contact I can email..then re-blocked me on WhatsApp ..I actually thought he would have come home by now. I have been seeing my friends and keeping busy. I just don’t understand how he can just walk away.i guess I start no contact again.

  10. Avatar

    Sharma

    March 22, 2020 at 1:29 pm

    Hey chris..
    I am happy to tell you that I got my ex back today.. just after 4 days of no contact rule..he messaged me on 1st day of no contact nd was just fighting with me..I didnt react..then on second day too he messaged me again with resentful nd angry messages making me feel guilty..I still didnt reply..nd on 3rd day neither he nor me texted each other and on 4th day means today he just texted me again y explaining each nd everything that which factors made our relation failed nd tried to sort out things and asked me for another chance..though he was very stubborn but yet he managed to start a conversation..then I broke my no contact. I have heard all the things like he never loved or hate me or regret loving me..its when I started moving on nd ignoring his messages he got super angry..nd then he found out that I have talked to his friend which made him even more rejected ..its when he texted me asking for another chance..thankyouuu chris

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 24, 2020 at 1:12 am

      I wish you luck Sharma 🙂

  11. Avatar

    Sharma

    March 15, 2020 at 12:04 pm

    Things have gotten worst between nd my ex.
    He is not ready to understand my pont of view.he is just super angry st me after the breakup which has recently happened due to misunderstanding..he think I cheated him or lied to him while I didnt..he is not ready to think about the things according to my view..he is continuously abusing me..he sa8d i am the worst girl he ever met..hecsaid he wish i never met me and i made his life like hell..also he asked me not to come back to him as he never want to do anything with me again..please help..

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 17, 2020 at 8:48 pm

      Hi Sharma, so you need to accept and respect your exes need for space right now. Gnatting him and pestering him is going to make it worse for yourself. You are not going to convince him other wise while his emotions are running high. Allow some space. No contact for 45 days

  12. Avatar

    Scarlet

    March 5, 2020 at 3:11 am

    I broke up with my ex boyfriend and then realized that i put too much pressure on him and pushed him to be the perfect boyfriend. I told him I made a mistake and i undersrand how to fix it. But he said although his heart begs him to come back he needs to stay rational. He texted me for the first 2 weeks then we did 1 week no contact. We met up and he told me that he didnt feel anything during the week (feelings less strong), that he is happy with or without me, but hanging out with me made him feel something. However, he still doesn’t know if he wants to get back (he wants for 50%). He told me i love you too when he lefr but said it was 50% of the time (i think he jjst said it to make me feel better ?) He has been partying/seeing friends everyday since the no contact week until now. After that meeting, i told him lets start over as friend and see how it goes, but i started the 30 days no contact. I am scared that he will forget about me since he seems so happy about his freedom… Is he going to miss me after his party phase ? Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 16, 2020 at 5:29 pm

      Hey Scarlet, your ex won’t forget you during a 30 days No Contact.. that’s not mentally possible. You do have that chance for changing his perspective of who you are as a person in those 30 days and making him question his decision. As you have already met and had an emotional conversation I would suggest that you do a 45 No Contact, so that it gives your ex more time to get over the break up and the pressures he was feeling in the relationship

  13. Avatar

    Sophia

    March 3, 2020 at 2:07 pm

    My ex and I dated for 4 years long distance, we grew up together and we were best friends before we started dating. We went to college in 2 different states and he’s older so when he graduated he ended up taking a job in another state again while I’m still stuck in college in the same place. It ended up being harder to make it work so I broke up with him about 5 months ago. He was devastated and cried which I’ve never really seen him cry like that. Now I regret it because I miss him terribly. He sent me a text on valentine’s with a picture of me saying he missed me and I ended up seeing him 2 weekends later. The weekend went great it felt normal and we joked around, had fun nothing to be alarmed about. I want to get back together but he said that he doesn’t feel the same as he did as in he still loves me but the “fire” isn’t as strong as it was and he’s not obsessed with me like he was before. I’m not really sure what this all means since he acts like he misses me but doesn’t want to get back together. He kept assuring me this isn’t the “end” for us so I don’t know if he’s just not over being hurt by the break up or what. I just really want to know what he means when he says he doesn’t feel the same but still loves and misses me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 7, 2020 at 9:48 am

      Hi Sophia, so when someone still loves you but isn’t in love with you means that the excitement has died down and that they are no longer excited by the relationship. This happens when we get into routine, when things become stagnant or predictable. So you can work the Ungettable girl information and see what I mean by being secure but also unpredictable and exciting. Complete a No Contact of 30 days and work on yourself in that time then reach out with a text that Chris suggests to get your ex talking and work your way up the value chain again

  14. Avatar

    Linda

    March 1, 2020 at 10:55 am

    My ex said it’s not me but him?? I think he still has baggage from his previous toxic marriage.he said his ex nearly drove him to suicide and now that I’m exhibiting some character traits similar to his ex,that i don’t know when to stop.So i told him that I’m not his ex and he shouldn’t compare me to her.he said he loves me and I’m a great woman but the breakup is not cuz of me that it’s him,he said he can’t go down that lane again,that he is a weak man and he struggled to survive his last toxic marriage,he was like he can’t be with anyone that has same character traits like his ex..I pleaded for a few days and decided to give him the breakup.Do I stand a chance of getting him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 7, 2020 at 9:21 am

      Hey Linda when someone is coming out of a marriage they struggle to deal with emotions but when the relationship was toxic too it is even harder to be secure when moving on. I would allow your ex to have space and go through the motions that he needs to go through. You need to allow this space to happen and you can work on yourself during the NC so that you get over the break up. Then reach out in 30 days with a text like Chris suggests

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    Sarah Pratley

    March 1, 2020 at 8:00 am

    My boyfriend of 6 years has just moved out. He has been living with me for 7 months. My mum is poorly and I haven’t been the easiest to live with. We had a fit and he has moved out and says I’m jealous and put him down and a horrible person..I am not a horrible person..and he says if I love him I should let him go.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 6, 2020 at 11:15 pm

      Hey Sarah, start you no contact and reach out after 30 days with a text like Chris suggests that is of his interests. This will give him time to clam down from your arguments.

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    Kimberly

    February 22, 2020 at 7:43 pm

    My boyfriend of 1 year split up with me about 3 weeks ago. Completely out of the blue, night before an argument he was talking about planning our first holiday together then the next day he lost it as I took my dog out for a quick walk when he was on his way to mine with his son to do it (I had an operation 5 days earlier) he said you live your life and I’ll live mine as that’s what you do anyway you don’t need me, he came over 3 days later and said it was over, he was tearful never seen him cry, he said it’s him not me, he doesn’t love me that way and he’s accepted he will probably be on his own forever. He wants to still be friends and continued to come round to help with the dogs, he was the same cuddling and slept together twice. I tried no contact and lasted 1 day. I’ve been increasingly needy asking him to come round and see me and he has ignored my message for the first time yesterday. He’s recently had his single cousin move into his and helps his friends all the time. I’ve been a mess crying most times I e seen him. I don’t know what to do I’m anxious and can’t think of life without him, we don’t really argue, get on brilliantly and same interests. Please can you help?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 2, 2020 at 10:10 pm

      Hi Kimberly you really really need to start and complete a No Contact! You need to realise that you are giving your ex confirmation that he can have you back if he wants you, so you need to find your strength to stick to No Contact the whole time, reading the materials about becoming Ungettable on this page

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    Mary

    February 17, 2020 at 10:29 pm

    My ex and I were talking for a few months. I Despite him saying he wanted to be with me and such, he wasn’t moving the relationship forward. (We were basically just sexting buddies).
    I told him to take some space and that he needed to figure out what he wanted. That I hoped I was still there when he decided.
    To that, he agreed. He blocked me and said I hope you have a great life.
    My gut says he was just upset, but it’s been 2 week and I’ve heard nothing from him. I’m trying to move forward and do what’s best for me, but it’s hard.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 20, 2020 at 11:05 pm

      Hi Mary, so to move forward you need to read the Ungettable work and start casually dating

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    Jammey

    February 11, 2020 at 11:28 pm

    What does it mean when he says he will unfollow me on social media Until we are ready to be friends with each other again? We split on mutual understanding, I didn’t beg for him to stay Nor make a big fuss I simply respected his decision to leave. But now that he has unfollowed me do I still stand a chance of getting back together? How can he see the change in me in being the UG girl 🙁 I’m confused and no cheating was involved we broke up bc I felt like he wasn’t ready to commit.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 11, 2020 at 11:55 pm

      Hey Jammey, so he will notice as when you stick to No contact and not reach out to him in the next month he is going to start looking at your social media and see how amazing you are doing with your life. Also dating casually is going to be good for you too, as he is going to realise that someone else is going to snap you up if he does not commit to you soon

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    Kay

    February 10, 2020 at 7:24 am

    I broke up with my ex because he apparently felt a spark with another girl when she kissed him. That girl had a crush on him and he got to know that. So he took her out for coffee and told her it’s not gonna happen since he already has a gf. While going out, she gave a peck on his cheek and he felt a spark with her. He told me this after almost a week . I was upset and broke up with him. Its been a month. Initially when I tried to talk to him, he was like I don’t feel for you as much as you feel for me. And that he is not sure about me..so it would be unfair to me if he keeps me waiting. And we dint speak to each other for a month. After that he texted me suddenly asking how I was, whether I have been talking to people. He said not to stop talking with friends or else you will bottle up your feelings. Suddenly he said he messaged because he felt like crying and that this has been in his mind for a long time. Later after a few days when I texted him, he just blew me off telling he is really tired from all the work and would want to sleep. We have a mutual friend. She told him that I was acting weird before he texted me. And he said to her that he was sad too but he is keeping himself busy with work and friends. He has his exams coming up. Am not sure whether he really misses me or not..I think he moved on..but then why would he say that he wants to cry and was just checking up on me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 17, 2020 at 8:24 pm

      Hi Kay so from the sounds of things your mutual friend has told him you are not doing great after the break up. Ideally you want the opposite information to get back to him you need him to think you are doing great with out him. You need to make him question why you are so happy after he left you. I do suggest that if you are having a harder time moving on that you start working through the information that is on this website about Ungettable

  20. Avatar

    Radhika

    February 5, 2020 at 2:25 am

    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up yesterday and it was worst breakup ever..the reason was we both were insecure about each other and misunderstanding never left us.love was there on other sides but yet lack of trust spoiled it.we dated for 6months and since last 2 months we were fighting alot with multiple breakups and patchups but after he somehow got changed nd I was getting negative guts so I decided to check on him through fake Instagram account but he found out that it was me he got super angry and then he asked for reason but I didnt want to tell but he insisted I got frustrated nd said I did timepass but I did not mean timepass in relation but he took it in this way he broke up with me..he became completely different man h abused me talked bad about me and my family even he scared me with warnings..he said he dont love me anymore he just hate me so much.and we were never getting back.what should I do now?is it over?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 12, 2020 at 9:09 pm

      Hey Radhika, so if you want to get your ex back, and show him the amazing person he has lost then you need to start with No Contact and working on yourself to become Ungettable during that time. While reading articles and the information that you are able to link to your situation on this website that is going to give you, your best chance of getting your ex back

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