Will Text Messages Work To Get Your Ex Back?

What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means

When I look at breakups as a whole there seems to be one common theme that is consistent no matter the situation.

They bring out the worst in people.

It’s really not that much of a stretch if you really think about it though.

For example, a break up can make someone do any of the following,



Hurt inside…

Be Depressed…


Basically you can name any negative emotion known to man and a break up probably can make you feel it.

So, when you put any human being in a situation where they are feeling these emotions they are probably going to say and do things that they really don’t mean.

Or do they?

Well, that is what we are going to be exploring today.

Welcome to Ex Boyfriend Recovery. This little community was created by yours truly,

yours truly

To help women navigate their breakups and help them increase their chances of getting their ex boyfriends back.

Your still looking at the body builder picture huh?

I have a weird sense of humor so you’ll have to forgive me.

Though I do like to keep things light here at EBR (Ex Boyfriend Recovery) since I have always found that laughter is the best medicine for healing a broken heart and your heart might be a little broken right now.

So hey, I am more than happy to make a fool out of myself for your amusement if it turns that frown upside down.

But I digress…

The real reason you are here today is to figure out what your ex boyfriend means when he says something to you.

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This Page Is The First Of It’s Kind

A few days ago a thought entered my head.

The thought?

Wouldn’t it be cool if there was something that served as a cheat sheet for women that would help them decipher what their ex meant when he said something.

For example, if an ex boyfriend said something like, “I fell out of love with you” wouldn’t it be cool if there was some sort of guide that a woman could reference to figure out what he really meant when he said that.

I mean, there are tons of things he could mean by that.

Let’s try another one.

I am sure you have heard the classic, “it’s not you, it’s me” line before?

its not you its me

Well, what does a man really mean when he says that to you?

So, like any curious person I went to Google to see if such a guide had been created and after searching around for 10 minutes (not a very long search i’ll admit) I couldn’t find anything.

That brings us to now.

I am going to create that type of a guide for you.

Seriously, ME, an actual guy is going to tell you what your ex boyfriend really means when he says things to you.

Pretty cool, huh?

Every breakup reason.

Every booty call.

EVERYTHING he says to you is finally going to be explained no holds barred.

Are you scared?

You should be.

No, I am just kidding.

Let’s move on and take a look at the topics I am going to be covering.

The Format Of This Page

format of the meme

This page is going to be formatted in a specific way.

First I am going to talk about the “what your ex boyfriend says” portion of the section and then I am going to go into the “what he really means” portion of the section and give an in-depth explanation of what your ex boyfriend really means when he says things to you.

What “things” am I going to be covering?

  • “I hate you”
  • “Never talk to me again.”
  • “It’s not you, it’s me.”
  • “I never really loved you.”
  • “We will never get back together.”

I saved the best for last 😉 .

If you think of any to add then feel free to leave a comment in the comments section of this article and I will revisit this page sometime down the road and update it with new things you ladies are probably wondering about.

Shall we begin?

We do have a lot of ground to cover.

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Your Ex Says He Hates You

I hate you

(Jeez… Chill out Anakin.)

I want you to do me a favor for a second here.

(Really this is a favor for yourself)

Scroll back up to the top of this page and read the introduction section.

Do you remember what I said there?

I said that breakups tend to bring out the worst in people.

After all, there is a reason that they compare losing a job to going through a break up, it sucks.

So, when you place a man (who is more aggressive than a woman) in a situation where he is going to be hurt/upset then it isn’t shocking to hear the words, “I hate you,” come out of his mouth.

Take me for example, I am a pretty nice guy.

I always do my best to treat people with the utmost respect and I was raised to always respect women.

Open doors…

Pay for meals…

You know, all that good stuff.

Yet, when you take me back to my very first relationship way back when I was a kiddo in high school I am pretty sure that when the inevitable break up did happen (and high school breakups are often inevitable) I muttered the words, “I hate you,” to my ex.

But did I mean it?

Actually, you know what?

Take me out of the equation entirely.

Do men mean it when they say they hate you?

What Does He Mean When He Says “I Hate You?”

what does this mean

Lets tackle this question as logically as we can.

Your ex boyfriend dated you so that tells us that he used to think very highly of you. I mean, I don’t know too many men that go into dating someone thinking,

“I don’t like her.”

Throughout your time together he probably told you,

He loved you…

Cared for you…

That you were his “one and only…”

I think you get the idea with what I am going for here.

So, when you take this into account I am relatively certain that your ex boyfriend doesn’t truly hate you.

What he is really saying is that he hates what has happened to your relationship.

He hates the situation.

He hates the way it makes him feel.

He hates the pain.

And since you are associated with the pain he is feeling you are going to get blamed by association.

Hence the, “I hate you” mantra he has adopted.

Above I mentioned that I may have muttered the words, “I hate you” to the very first girlfriend I had way back in high school. Now, I know a high school relationship that happened close to ten years ago isn’t exactly going to bring earth shattering revelations but bear with me here as I try to make my point.

Do you think I meant it when I said it?

Of course not.

I hated the way I was feeling.

I hated having a failed relationship and all that depressing stuff I mentioned above (with the pain and all that.)

But I also knew that it would hurt my ex girlfriend if I said it to her and since I wasn’t exactly what you would call a seasoned veteran when it came to handling breakups yet I wasn’t above revenge.

This is horrible for me to admit but I was young so you have to realize the immature mentality I had.

I literally thought to myself,

“What can I say to my ex girlfriend to make her feel as horrible as I feel right now? Hmm.. I know, I will tell her that I hate her and I wish I had never met her. That will hurt her.”

That’s not a very mature way of handling things is it?

The important takeaway that I want you to take from this negative experience that I am sharing is that most men don’t mean it when they say they hate you. Instead they are just projecting on how they feel about the situation they are currently in.

Of course, some men will say it with the intentions of hurting you as well.

So, there are really two things that men are trying to say when they say they hate you.

  1. I hate you = I hate the situation
  2. I hate you = I hope this hurts you so you can feel how I feel

Lets move on to another ex boyfriend favorite,

“Never talk to me again.”

Your Ex Tells You To Never Talk To Him Again

talk to me

There are really two situations that spring to mind when I hear from a woman who is wondering if her boyfriend really means it when he tells her to never contact him again.

  1. The couple got into a bad fight that culminated in the man saying “never talk to me again.”
  2.  The woman constantly bugs the guy and he gets so fed up that he tells her to never talk to him again.

In order to fully understand what an ex boyfriend really means when he says never talk to me again we must first understand exactly what these situations look like.

Situation 1- A Bad Fight Results In The Man Telling The Woman To Never Talk To Him Again

Lets do our first role play!

Lets pretend that I am your boyfriend and the two of us got into a massive fight over your cat.

Fun Fact: I am definitely not a cat person (I’m allergic) so I can definitely see myself getting into a fight with someone over a cat.

So, we go back and forth over your cat and the fight starts to evolve as bad fights usually do. What started out as a “friendly” sparring session over you cat turns ugly when we drag all kinds of unrelated things into the fight.

My parents… (HOW DARE YOU)

Your parents…

My gigantic muscles… (seen above)

How the house never gets cleaned…

How I never take out the trash.

(You get the idea)

The fight gets so bad that we break up over it.

A few days pass after the break up and you attempt to reach out to me.


What is my response?

“I thought I told you to never talk to me again.”

What the heck do I mean by that?

Well, I will tell you in a second but first lets tackle the second situation I see a lot of when it comes to men saying, “never talk to me again,” to their ex girlfriends.

Situation 2- You Annoy Your Ex So Much After The Breakup That He Tells You To Never Talk To Him Again

Lets stick with the cat example above since we had so much fun with that.

So, the two of us used to date and we broke up due to a horrible fight over your cat.


After the breakup you realize that you made a horrible mistake and you want me back.

(It’s about time you came to your senses.)

Well, your strategy for getting me back involves messaging me about 30 times a day and calling me about 10.

Obviously I like the attention at first but then it gets to be a little too much and I begin to resent you for it.

Eventually your efforts get so out of hand that I can’t stand to hear from you anymore.

It is only when I am pushed to this point that I lay down the law.

“Don’t talk to me anymore.”

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What It Means When An Ex Boyfriend Tells You To Never Talk To Him Again

what does that even mean

Obviously since I divided this particular topic up into two different situations,

  1. The couple got into a bad fight that culminated in the man saying “never talk to me again.”
  2.  The woman constantly bugs the guy and he gets so fed up that he tells her to never talk to him again.

There are two completely different meanings behind an ex saying “never talk to me again.”

Just like above I am going to divide this section up into two categories,

  1. What it means when an ex says “never talk to me again” in situation 1
  2. What it means when an ex says “never talk to me again” in situation 2

Lets start off on a good note first and talk about category number one!

What It Means When Your Ex Boyfriend Says “Never Talk To Me Again” In Situation 1

For those of you who have horrible memories situation 1 is a situation in which you and your ex boyfriend get into a massive fight and the fight is culminated with our five favorite words,

“Don’t talk to me again.”

The thing that you really have to keep in mind here is the fact that your ex is saying this from a highly emotional state.

Breakups have this funny ability to make even the nicest of people turn into angry lunatics.

(Seriously, I have seen it firsthand.)

So, if you got caught in the crossfire of a heated breakup and your boyfriend said this to you then don’t take it personally.

I am sure if he was honest with himself he really doesn’t mean it.

Besides, I can probably give you hundreds of examples where an ex boyfriend said this to an ex girlfriend and then HE ends up being the one that gets in contact with her.

Now, if you are wondering what is going on in his mind to make him say this in the heat of the moment then look no further than the curious case of emotional states.

I don’t care how “well behaved” a man is.

If you push a man hard enough you can always get him to say things he doesn’t mean.

We are dealing with a real life human being here and human beings are imperfect. They are going to say things they don’t mean from time to time. This is especially true if you get into a bad fight with one.

What it all boils down to is the emotional state that your ex boyfriend was in when he said “never talk to me again.”

Since we are looking specifically at him AFTER a fight you can bet good money on the fact that he was in a very negative emotional state and as a result he is going to say things that aren’t very logical.

In other words, he doesn’t mean it when he says “never talk to me again.”

But what about the other situation?

Good question!

What It Means When An Ex Says “Never Talk To Me Again” In Situation 2

Situation 2 is vastly different than situation 1.

It looks specifically at a scenario where you (the ex girlfriend) goes a little crazy and contacts him too much.

How does that look?

Here’s a good example,

crazy annoying

Notice how this girl, Cordelia, is sending waaaayyyyy too many messages to her ex boyfriend.

(Cordelia is a Buffy reference by the way 😉 .)

Though that’s not all that Cordelia is doing.

In addition to sending a bunch of unanswered texts she is also calling her ex boyfriend up.

Of course, holding true to his form he ignores the calls.

missed call

In fact, Cordelia is acting is being so annoying to him that he sends her what she considers to be the kiss of death,

dont talk to me again

There it is…

“Don’t talk to me again.”

But do you think her ex boyfriend means it?

Yes he does…


I am going to tell you the story of a girl that I went out on a date with a long time ago.

Now, I did not have a relationship with this girl but the same principle is going to apply.

The two of us went out on one date and after some thinking on my part I decided to inform her in a subtle way that I was not interested in her. Now, I didn’t want to completely cut her out of my life. I was willing to remain friends with her and I explained this to her.

She did not take too kindly to this.

Instead of just remaining friends she treated me like I was some sort of boyfriend that scorned her.

She turned into a “Cordelia.”

Now, I am the kind of person that absolutely hates confrontation so I didn’t want to have to start a fight with her but I knew I was going to have to lay down the law when I got a similar text message to this one day,

crazy text

Just to put this in perspective this wasn’t the first time something like this happened with this particular girl.

It was just the latest (and it was by far the worst.)

It was at this point that my “friendly” nature ceased to exist and Reid (as my wife likes to call him) came out.

Reid is my middle name in case you were wondering.

My wife likes to tease me that any time I get “moody” or “angry” that it’s really Reid and not me.

Well, Reid came out in spades.


This was my way of saying “never talk to me again” and I meant it.

In fact, I went so far that I blocked her number from my phone forever.

So, if you ever needed motivation to stop contacting your ex after the breakup this is it.

Let’s move on.

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It’s Not You, It’s Me


Ah, the good ole, “it’s not you, it’s me” line.

I can’t hep it but every time I hear this I always immediately think of George from Seinfield.

(I attached a gif image at the beginning of this article depicting Georgie’s thoughts on this 😉 .)

Anyways, I just had to throw that in.

The thing I would like to turn your attention to when explaining this is that the phrase “it’s not you, it’s me” can take many forms.

Too many women think that those exact five words have to be muttered to them for them to be eligible victims and that’s just not true.

The “it’s not you, it’s me” line has many variations.

For example, lets say that the two of us were dating and one day I call you up and say,

“Hey, I had a really good time with you but I’m not feeling this anymore… It’s nothing you did but I think we just need to go our separate ways.”

Believe it or not but the phrase that I just muttered to you over the breakup phone call is a longer variation of the “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Seriously, really take a look at the phrase.

“Hey, I had a really good time with you but I’m not feeling this anymoreIt’s nothing you did but I think we just need to go our separate ways.”

You will noticed that I bolded two parts.

Let’s dissect them.

“I’m not feeling this anymore”

By an ex saying this to you he is making you aware that he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore. That much is common sense. What you may not realize though is that by him saying “I’m not feeling this anymore” he is satisfying the “it’s me” part of the “it’s not you, it’s me” phrase we are dissecting in this section.

Lets move on the second part.

“It’s nothing you did”

Not too hard to dissect this one.

Your ex is basically telling you that you didn’t do anything to make him leave.

He’s informing you that you are innocent in this.

“It’s not you..”

Do you see what happened here?

I am waiting for a million light bulbs to go off…

The entire phrase above basically flip flopped the “it’s not you, it’s me” parts into “it’s me, it’s not you.”

It’s just harder to see since it is disguised cleverly around a lot of words but if you look hard enough (the bold parts) you will see it.

Lets move on to the fun part and dissect what your ex boyfriend really means if he gives you the Seinfeld excuse.

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What He Means When He Says “It’s Not You, It’s Me”

Your ex boyfriend is a liar and I am going to prove why.

Let’s do a fun little exercise.

You know your boyfriend pretty well, right?

Which celebrity does he have a small crush on?

(Since I can’t hear your answers I am just going to have to make up one for you.)

Lets say that your boyfriend has a massive crush on Megan Fox (since she seems to be everyone’s definition of “hot” right now.)

Megan Fox Wallpapers

Alright, so lets say that your ex boyfriend is dating the woman of his dreams, Megan Fox.

Realistically can you picture him telling Megan Fox, “it’s not you, it’s me?”

I can’t…

Heck, I can’t even picture him breaking up with her.

Look, any many who gives you this sch-peel of “it’s not you, it’s me” is lying to you.

What he is really trying to tell you is that “it’s you, it’s not me.”

Men don’t leave women who they think are worth it. They leave the women they think aren’t worth it. They leave the women that they think they can do better than.

Picture a scale of 1-10.


Let’s say that when your ex boyfriend first started dating you he determined that you were an 8 on the scale,


As your relationship goes on he lowers your value to a 6

1-10 copy

Well, in his mind he is going to think “I can do better than her” at this point and that is where to start to see the “it’s not you’s, it’s me” come into play.

The truth is that in his mind it is you.

“It’s not me, it’s you” = “It’s you, it’s not me”

I Never Really Loved You…



If your ex boyfriend mutters these words to you then I imagine it must sting pretty badly.

I mean, saying “I love you” to someone and meaning it in that deep personal way is a big deal. So, to hear that your ex boyfriend could potentially be throwing all of that out the window is especially painful.

To be honest I am not sure that this one requires too much of a buildup.

Your ex boyfriend says “I never really loved you” to you…

There, build up done!

Lets move…

Actually, you know what?

I just thought of something.

Let’s generalize this.

If you really think about it an ex boyfriend who says that he never really loved you is probably doing so during a highly emotional moment. So, when I start explaining what he really means when he says this to you I want to operate under the assumption that he is in a highly emotional situation.

What constitutes as a high emotional situation?

  • A breakup
  • A fight
  • Anything like these situations (I couldn’t think of anymore :p )

Ok, lets move on and dissect this one.

What It Means If He Told You That He Never Really Loved You

does it mean

This situation is very similar to situation number 1 when a boyfriend tells you to never talk to him again.

If you recall, in that situation an ex doesn’t really mean it. He is just reacting to the situation he is in (which is highly emotional.)

Well, this situation is very similar to that except there is a small twist.

In my opinion, if an ex boyfriend tells you that he never really loved you he is just doing so to hurt your feelings and doesn’t really mean it at all.

Lets look at things from his perspective for a moment.

He is going through a breakup.

The two of you are probably fighting a lot.

He isn’t as good at handling his emotions as you are.

(In case you missed it I have talked multiple times at how men are more physical and woman are more emotional and this helps women handle their emotions better than men.)

Oh, and if you were the one that broke up with your ex boyfriend then it adds that extra little cherry on top.

From your ex boyfriends perspective you are the villain and what do men generally do when they come across a villain?

They try to hurt them and knock them down a peg.

So, what is the best way of accomplishing this?

Saying something super hurtful to you.

I never really loved you” seems to do quite nicely in this circumstance, huh?

Thousands of women come to this site every single day and every single day they freak out over stuff like this. The truth of the matter is that I don’t even take it that seriously. I just look at it as an ex boyfriend trying to say something hurtful.

Deep down he doesn’t really mean it.

“I never really loved you” = What can I say to hurt her the most?

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We Will Never Get Back Together

getting back together

I saved the best for last.

This is probably the whole reason you wanted to read this article anyways, right?

Heck, I wouldn’t even be shocked if you just scrolled straight down to this section and skipped all the others.

I will say one thing.

Without a doubt this is one of the top questions that I get asked on a daily basis.

Usually it goes a little something like this,

“Chris, my boyfriend told me that we have no chance of getting back together with him, ZERO. Do you think he’s right? Is it over for me?”

This is a question I can’t wait to tackle in-depth.

So, rather than spend 500 words setting this up I am just going to get right down to the meat of this.

What He Really Means When He Says You Two Will Never Get Back Together

text mean

Lets take a big view of exes in general.

More specifically, the industry I am currently a part of.

What if I were to tell you that this is a million dollar industry?

What if I were to tell you that your beloved Ex Boyfriend Recovery site is still a small fish in a big pond?

Would you believe me?

Well, it’s true.

There are hundreds of so called experts out there that are trying to capitalize on your dollars.

Now, that may be a scary thing for you to hear since the last thing you want is to be taken advantage of.

Oh, by the way you should check out my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO 😉 .

No, I am just kidding.

The point I am trying to get at here is that the only reason that this industry is considered “thriving” is because couples do get back together. Heck, couples say the meanest possible things to each other and still get back together.

“I hate you…”

(Back together in a week!)

“Burn in he**”

(Back together in a day!)

“We are never getting back together again”

(Back together in 3 months!)

If your ex boyfriend says that the two of you will never get back together again then I wouldn’t take it to heart because I have seen too much flip flopping in my time to buy into it completely.

Now, lets not completely discredit all men.

There are some that really do mean it when they say we are never getting back together again.

However, in my opinion I think them saying it is really a function of what was done to them in the relationship.

The Importance Of Percentages

I like assigning percentage values to situations based on how high the chances of success are for a reconnection.

This percentage number is assigned based on my personal knowledge and experience seeing a lifetime worth of breakups.

For example, a general breakup would have a 30% chance of a reconnection. What I try to do is help women move that number up substantially.

So, maybe a general breakup percentage starts at 30% but after using my strategies it gets bumped up to 50%.

Of course, not all breakups are created equal.

Some percentage values are much lower than the 30% mark.

For example, if you take two of the hardest situations,

  • Cheating
  • He Gets A New Girlfriend

Instead of those situations starting at the general 30% mark they would start at the 10 – 20% marks respectively.

Obviously these situations are harder to succeed in.

It is in these situations that an ex boyfriend would be more likely to mean it if he said, “we are never getting back together.”

Get it?


Ok, let me dig a little deeper for you.

Lets say that the two of us were dating and you cheated on me with my best friend…

Actually, lets make things worse and say that I walked in on you and him in bed together.

Ok, not only would that scar/mess me up for life but if I would say, “we are never getting back together,” to you then I would mean it.

It’s these extreme situations that have a low percentage of success that you have to watch out for. Those are the types of situations where an ex boyfriend could mean it if he says that he never wants to get back with you.

Here’s a quick rundown of the situations where he could say “we are never getting back together” and mean it.

  • He cheated on you
  • You cheated on him
  • He gets a new girlfriend

Now, before I finish this article up finally I want to make sure that you fully grasp what I am telling you here.

It is only in the most extreme situations where he might really mean what he is saying.

So, what it all boils down to is a function of how severe the damage during the relationship was to him.

We Are Never Getting Back Together = If you hurt me too much during the relationship I could mean this

Of course, I have also helped women get back with their exes in all the situation above so technically nothing is set in stone…

Just saying.

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hurt you

What the HECK?!?!

This is the most mind boggling statement he could make, right?

I’m going to give you the secret as to why he said this! Ready?

He’s just trying to come off as the good guy here. It’s really that simple.

By saying,

“I don’t want to hurt you again”

He is making himself sound like the hero. He’s trying to sound like he’s protecting you but in reality he’s only being selfish.

What a hero, right?


hurt you

It sounds like some kind of BS line to me. Let’s face it, if he really didn’t want to hurt you again, the solution is simple…

He shouldn’t do anything stupid. 🙂

There are a million different ways that he could hurt you. Let’s take a moment to dissect some of them.

The first one that comes to mind is Cheating.

Well, absolutely that would hurt you, but could he prevent this?

Yes, he most certainly can.

So, the,

“I don’t want to hurt you again” statement doesn’t really hold up here.

What about if he was emotionally abusive?

He could go to therapy and get help. There are many things he could do to try to preserve your relationship instead of backing out and giving you the excuse of,

“I don’t want to hurt you again.”

But in this case I personally believe you should be the one breaking up with him anyway.

He could be afraid of commitment so as the relationship gets closer he is backing away.

You are looking for a life with him.

Marriage, children the whole nine yards but if he’s not ready to commit to you then he may use the line “I don’t want to hurt you again” especially if he’s expressed his feelings on the subject already.

We could go on and on all day about ways he could hurt you but when it comes down to it it’s a way for him to remove himself from the relationship and look like the good guy. Some guys really are that concerned with their image.

How do I know?

Well, I am a guy and I have actually seen this done first hand to a girl before.


My best friend in college was what I would classify as a total ladies man. What do I mean by that?

Simple, this guy knew how to get a woman eating out of the palm of his hand. Now, I remember the first time I watched him work his voodoo on a girl I was impressed but after a while it became clear that the girl he worked “said voodoo on” was way more attached to him than he was to her.

Thus, a breakup was inevitable.

But my buddy was so obsessed with being perceived as the “good guy” that he decided to use the,

“I just know that if we keep dating I am going to hurt you and I don’t want that for you”


Tsk.. Tsk… Tsk….

All so he could protect his good guy image.


best friends

I want you to take a moment and imagine something for me.

You are living the perfect life. You have a great family, a great job, great friends and a great boyfriend. But one day you notice your boyfriend has a very sad look on his face.

You’ve seen this look before.

It’s the look of a man who is about to deliver some bad news to you.

That’s when he does it.

He breaks up with you.

But he can’t help just adding in this one line…

“We can still be friends.”

You’ve been intimate on every level, emotionally and physically and he wants to be friends!?!?

At that moment it feels like he is trying to stay in your life and that’s good, right? WRONG!

What’s really going on in his head?

Why would he say that?

Does he actually mean it or is he just saying it?

Perhaps he wants to stay friends to have the possibility of getting back together in the future?

These are all questions you are probably found yourself asking.

I am going to give you the low down on all of these unanswered questions and really bring you into the mind of a male.

Are you ready?

It can be a scary place… but the good news is I am going to walk you through it and give you guidance on what to do if he says he just wants to be friends.


cop out

This is the easiest way for your ex to break up with you. He doesn’t have to hurt your feelings in his mind because he still wants to be friends. It also secures a backup girlfriend in case his “post you” dating escapades don’t work out.

Think of it this way, he’s got you on the sidelines waiting around for him while he does whatever he wants. He may even try a friends with benefits situation down the line.

Take a look at this graphic.


Through this graphic I am showing you what’s going on in his head.

Your lost in a sea of women.

Just another number.

But there are two ways to break this trick he’s pulling…

The best thing you can do in this situation is to say,

“Sure we can be friends” and then start your no contact.

The second thing is becoming an ungetttable girl. You can read more about becoming an ungettable girl here.

But I will give you a brief description of how to do both here. First off, you will have to go completely ghost on him. Do not answer his texts if he texts you. Don’t answer his calls. Don’t “accidentally” call him. 😉 (I see this happen daily) This is probably the most difficult thing that you are going to have to go through.

Your brain is hardwired to talk to him but like I said above, you can’t. So, I am going to teach you a trick that I don’t think I have ever talked about on Ex Boyfriend Recovery before.

I want you to write down his number on a piece of paper twice.

Put one in your dresser and one in a small lock box.

Now, go out and buy a calendar. It’s important that this calendar is something that you love to look at everyday. There are so many different ones out there, Island paradise calendars, pictures of Europe calendars, puppies, kittens, babies, hot air balloons etc.

Pick one that will make you feel good every time you look at it.

Put your calendar up in plain view where you will see it daily and circle the date that your no contact period is up.

Are you with me so far?





Ok, here comes the hard part.

I want you to delete his number!

That’s right, completely delete it from your phone. This way you will not have any temptations or “accidents.” You will still have his number in two different spots so you won’t have to worry about never getting it back again.

Oh and one more thing with regards to no contact.

Do not block him.

I repeat do not block him on anything. That will only make your life way harder. Just don’t answer any texts or calls that are from unknown numbers.

Got it?


Let’s move on and talk about the ungettable girl.

I want you to take out that same calendar and mark a weekly goal. I want you to put something on there daily and do it.

For example, if you want to look your best maybe you would put:

March 1st- Hair coloring appointment.
March 2nd- Start Gym Membership. (Or specific workouts at home.)
March 3rd- Go to a makeup demo.
March 4th- Paint nails.
March 5th- Join a co-ed indoor soccer team.

You get the point.

Not only will this distract you and give you something to focus on other than your ex, it will give you confidence. You will look and feel your best!

The other part to being an ungettable girl is to become the girl that every man wants.

Even if you technically aren’t there are specific ways to portray this persona.

For example, when you finally go on that first date with your ex boyfriend walk in front of him since women typically walk in front of men on dates and look at a guy (who is not your ex.) The idea here is to make it look like this other guy is checking you out.

Let’s role play this for a second.

Lets say that I am a woman.

Let’s call me….



Isn’t that a pretty woman?

I certainly think so haha!

Anyways, lets pretend that I am on a date with my ex and I want to try this method out. I am walking into a restaurant and since my ex is a gentlemen he holds the door open for me. As I am walking in I notice that there is a man walking towards me. Well, I would look at him out of the corner of my eye.

Now, the important thing to understand here is that it’s obvious to this other man that I am looking at him. And what do people do when they are looked at?


But here is the most genius part.

My ex is behind me the entire time. So, even though I am technically the one who made the guy look at me, to my ex it looks like this guy is checking me out. Oh, and since I am such a good looking girl the guy “checking me out” smiles and nods.

Extra bonus points! 🙂

But lets get out of this fantasy world where I am a woman and come back to the real world where I am teaching you to become the ungettable girl.

Another interesting aspect of the UG is that they are always busy. You want to be independent. If you’ve been with your ex for a long time the chances are pretty high that you are depending on him too much. Whether it’s for emotional stability or happiness you will have to show him that you can be happy on your own. It’s nice to feel wanted and needed and he will miss that feeling after a while.

Overall, this situation is actually wonderful for a breakup because he’s thinking your going to be friends with him but little does he know he is getting the cold shoulder for a few weeks so he can reassess his decision and during this time your becoming a version of yourself that he have never met before.

Such is the path of the ungettable girl.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please


dont like you

So this is one of my favorite lines. “I never liked you anyway.”

You should be thinking,

“Come on, we’ve dated for 6 months, a year, two years and yet you threw away all of your precious time to a person you never even liked. HAHA”

It’s almost comical when a guy says this to his ex but it happens everyday.

It’s a very similar situation to the “I never loved you” comment that I’ve mentioned before. They are similar comments but ironically have completely different meanings. I think it’s safe to say that if your ex has told you that he never loved you the cut from that would be very deep. That is such a hurtful thing to say. Saying I never liked you definitely hurts but it’s a poor man’s “I never loved you.”

That’s the truth.


dont like you

Take my friend “Bob” for example,

(By the way Bob is a fake name for a friend.)

His girlfriend and him were dating for 2 years and they got into a heated argument and he brings out the world famous line,

“Well, I never even liked you.”

You see, Bob and his ex were fighting over money which is one of the top reasons couples fight.

He had the gall to say, “I can’t believe you bought that $150 dress”

(This coming from a man who bought 3 video games that ended up costing the same as the dress.)

Guess what happened next?

Yup, you got it!

Bob’s ex went bat shit crazy and started throwing his games around while yelling and crying. Ultimately this was the last fight of their relationship. She walked out completely.

A few days passed and she started thinking to herself,

“Man, I think I made a mistake.”

So, she decided to call him again in an attempt to patch things up. But Bob, being the genius he is, decides to bring up the whole video game debacle again and the two of them started arguing again!

That’s when he said it…

“Well, I never even liked you anyways…”

Her heart dropped to the floor. She kept thinking,

“He can’t really mean that, right?”

So, why did Bob say it?

I remember asking him,

“Why did you say that to her?”

This was his response:

“I am just so sick of fighting with her. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

Apparently Bob thought that this would be the easiest way to stop the fight and to get rid of her (for the time being.)


never met you meme

Coming from a guy that probably said,

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me”


“I’m so glad I met you”

Throughout your relationship.

It probably threw you off completely hearing him say I wish I never met you.

So, lets take a moment and dissect what’s really going on in his head.


The truth is that it could mean several different things. The first thing that comes to mind is one of my favorite quotes from Good Will Hunting.

“Most days I wish I never met you because then I could sleep at night and I wouldn’t have to walk around with the knowledge there was someone like you out there.”

Something tells me your ex didn’t say it in this way, otherwise you probably wouldn’t be on this site.

But the light at the end of the tunnel is that what he really meant when he says he wishes he never met you is that he is very hurt by you. You’ve brought out such strong feelings that he cannot deal with. It’s actually not the worst thing when a guy reacts emotionally like this because it means that he has feelings towards you. Even if they are negative feelings, he still has passion when it comes to you.

If he was nonchalant and aloof then you should worry a little more.

Oftentimes men don’t know how to express themselves as well as women do and so they resort to the easiest thing that comes to mind.

It’s pretty childish really.

They say things they don’t mean and a lot of times they end up regretting it. It never feels good to fight. In the moment it relieves some stress but later people often feel bad about it.

I’d be willing to bet your ex will regret or at least feel bad about things he says to you in the heat of the moment at some point.
Even when he says things like “I wish I never met you.”


Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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706 thoughts on “What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means”

  1. Curtains

    February 19, 2018 at 1:17 am

    My ex boyfriend hit me up talking crap. He accused me of trying start crap with his friends when that wasn’t the case at all. After I told him that he getting mad at the wrong person. He messaged me that he was happy and finally found the right one. Then he proceeded to call me a Bitch. So then I replied with “The only bitch I see is you.””I could care less who you talk to.” he then told me to stop coming around. I told him that I honestly forgot he even existed and to get over himself…. He mocked me by saying that I know he doesn’t care I said it myself all the time.. Long story short I was unbothered until he said that. He used me and trashed me. I’m a virgin and I almost lost it to him. I moved all the way from Texas to Pennsylvania to be closer to him. I was good to him. For him to say that… It hit me hard. Not alot of females would have done what I did. Despite him having sex with multiple women and talking to one behind my back. Literally replacing me. I just hope Karma comes through.

  2. Sarah

    February 17, 2018 at 12:46 pm

    My ex and I have been on and off for 5 years we’ve broken up twice in the past and he’s run off sleeping around and going out and being a lad. He has come back but to only stay with me for 9-12 months and then left. This time I thought was different and I thought he had realised but I was wrong. We argued a lot and in the end split up which he has now gone down the same path and is sleeping around and liking girls pictures on Instagram etc I’m heartbroken he hasn’t bothered to try and make contact like he used to and when I contact him he’s nasty saying that he regrets ever getting back with me before and he will never ever come back to me again I’m heart broken and I can’t seem to get over this break up, what do I do? I hoped he would come back again but this time I feel it really it over for good and he isn’t coming back

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 19, 2018 at 4:51 pm

  3. Lori L.

    February 16, 2018 at 5:11 am

    The strangest breakup I could ever imagine. We had gone on a 5-day vacation together. Just as we were about to drive to our ocean destination, my boyfriend’s cell phone rang. He let voicemail pick up the call, but turned and said to me, “That was my old girlfriend calling.” Up to that point, I had no clue that an old girlfriend had been keeping in touch. I didn’t give this too much thought since we all have “oldies” around from times past who mean nothing to us now. (In fact, an oldie with whom I had absolutely no interest whatsoever had dropped by my place, unannounced, one recent Saturday morning when the boyfriend was there. Said goodbye, closed door and that was it.) Back to story — After arriving home from the incredible vacation, Boyfriend stays at my place overnight and leaves next day. Forty eight hours pass and I get call from Boyfriend. BF is at work on a Monday morning at 10 am. His last words to me were, “I am looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday night.” (Our homes are separated by quite a distance.) I said, “Sure, okay.” We often saw each other on Wednesday nights. He would stay over and go to work on Thursday, am. Anyway, on Tuesday morning, exacly 24 hours after, “I’m looking forward to seeing you.” and the great five-day vacation, out of no where he says, “I don’t want this. I thought I wanted it, but I don’t.” I said, “You mean we are breaking up?” I was more irritated than anything since such a breakup made no sense to me. Not much else was said except he said, “I need to go back to work.” I said, “Okay, I will send you an e-mail listing the things I have at your place so I can them back.” He then offered to install my bike tack on my wall which accidentally took four Sunday’s (the walls required a lot of specialty work and specialty tools) where we were together about 9 hours each Sunday. We also spent at least three hours watching our favorite Sunday night shows. Each Sunday we seemed to have a very nice time — good team work and I made dinner. I finally had to as him, “Can you explain to me why we are breaking up? Whatever I did to you, I don’t want to do to the next person so explaining to me would help me out.” He said, “All I wanted you for was sex.” The odd thing about saying this was that, even though I had “made a move” in that direction on our last Sunday once the bike racks were installed, he rebuffed my advances entirely. If he wanted me for sex, he could have had it! I wonder if, “the old girlfriend” had come back. I asked him directly. He said, “Are you serious?” I said, “Well, she DID call you, according to what you told me, just as we were leaving on our five-day vacation.” He said nothing. (The telephone breakup occurred 48 hours — Saturday at 10 am to Monday at 10 am — after we arrived back from our vacation. Seem to me he could have met up with “old girlfriend” that weekend. When he called on Monday, without my even inquiring, he went into a rundown of all the things he had been doing with “the guys” during the course of that 48 hour period. Me thinks he doth tell me too much — covering bases before I even asked — or cared. Seems to me that his old girlfriend may well have come back (otherwise why refuse my offer for the sex which he always seemed to enjoy.) I am still shocked that he would say to me, “I only wanted and used you for sex.[which is why I broke up with you]” THAT was just plain MEAN. He once professed his undying love. Maybe he WAS using me for sex out of loneliness from having just lost his previous girlfriend (of which I was unaware) but I will never know. (With one exception — there was a string bass in his home that I asked him about. He said he was keeping it stored for “an old girlfriend” who had moved to England — his brother’s ex-wife! BTW, The instrument was worth at least $3500 since I play one.) Forever the question haunts me — why tell me is looking forward to our every Wednesday meet-up only to break up for no known reason 24 hours later. (We also always spent the weekends together. Again, we don’t live in close proximity so commuting was never easy.) Secondly, why tell me that all he only went out with me to “use me for sex.” We had a lot of fun times together and sex was just a part of a good relationship. And then we had a wonderful vacation. Wanted me or sex only? Really? I wasn’t always a perfect girlfriend in that we did get in a few spats, but I can’t imagine I deserved the confusing end to what I thought was a working relationship. I have lost complete trust in my own judgment of men. I am afraid to get involved again because the whole “end” was so strange and downright MEAN.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 19, 2018 at 11:31 am

      Hi Lori,

      Looks like you’re a rebound.. How long were you together and how long have they broken up when you got together?

  4. Sky

    February 11, 2018 at 9:46 pm

    Boyfriend of 7 years broke up out of no where. The month before he was acting like a stranger. Still acts very cold towards me when I do see him to talk about things. He has told me that I am great, and he will never find anything like me again, but he doesn’t want to be in the relationship. Seems like he is having a quarter life crisis or maybe dealing with other personal things that he doesn’t want to talk to me about. He is now very distant and has told me that I should focus on myself and figure out who I am instead of trying to pursue another relationship.. I am focusing on myself and figuring myself out, but I am having trouble of letting him go because I believe we are very compatible.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2018 at 6:18 pm

      Do you want to try the nc rule?

  5. Sarah Holloway

    February 10, 2018 at 8:20 pm

    Just a note to add that we message on WhatsApp so I can see he’s online.. and he’ll know that I can see he’s read my message, I’m not sure if he’s doing it on purpose after the comment about him being so popular

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2018 at 12:25 pm

      that means he’s starting to ghost you because the relationship is going to fast for him.. Follow the advice on this one:
      How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

  6. Sarah Holloway

    February 10, 2018 at 8:16 pm

    Three weeks ago my boyfriend hung up on me, it shocked me as we’d been on the phone for 3 hours having fun, he always liked me to call when he was gaming and he’d just spent 4 days at my house which was perfect. He called 2 days later saying he was sorry he disappeared, that it wasn’t him to do something like that. I asked what I’d said to make him hang up and he said it wasn’t anything in particular, just a couple of things had built up during the day, I’d jokingly said ‘wow you’re popular on WhatsApp today, you’re always online’ it was an honest joke but he read it as me thinking he was talking to someone else (his ex wife was very controlling and jealous, he had to hide female friends from her) he’d also asked me to install the game he plays, so we could play together but then suddenly realised he wouldn’t have anything that was just his own… I explained that I didn’t even want the game and I only did it because he wanted me to! He said he was worried he wouldn’t make me happy and he didn’t know what to do, he was scared because he was starting a new job and would mean not seeing me as much and he worried I would be upset if he couldn’t come over. He was also worried he wouldn’t have time for friends and family and ultimately would have to let one of us down if we all wanted to see him. The last thing he said was he didn’t know what to do and he couldn’t guarantee anything, and he’d call later. After a week of silence I left a voicemail asking if he’d call as I needed to know where I stood, I had a text saying he didn’t know how to talk to me right now?!? We sent a few texts for a week, asking how his job was etc, he sent a few funny messages, but never mentioned ‘us’ except when I mentioned that I needed a repair on my car, he said he didn’t have any tools or he would have helped?! I’m his last texts he congratulated me on my weight loss that I told him about, and he said he was barely managing to hold it together with his early hours and not getting enough sleep, then he said he was also sick and sulky…. I replied saying I was proud of him getting up so early as I know he’s not a morning person and then I asked what was wrong, he read the message but hasn’t replied… that was 3 days ago… I feel like when we start getting on he backs off and now he’s ignoring me I think. He’s never actually said we’re over, but clearly we aren’t together…. I just wonder what he meant by ‘I don’t know how to talk to you right now’ does that mean he’ll call when he’s ready.. is he just thinking about what he wants? It’s the ignoring that really gets to me

  7. Danijela

    February 10, 2018 at 3:01 pm

    Hey… What iz iz means if my exboyfriend text”coffee…sure… We Will be in touch”. Its been 10 days he send me That… But…not even one Word since then…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2018 at 12:55 pm

      Hi Daniela,

      he’s probably just being polite..

  8. Rachi

    January 21, 2018 at 1:38 am

    Hi there

    I was just wanted some advice…..

    My bf of nearly a year who has always been affectionate and told me everyday that he loved me and he’s so lucky to have me…. broke up with me…

    Last Sunday we spent the day together and it was great he actually told me he’s so Inlove with me….
    On the following Thursday we actually had a very petty argument through text message and he said he thought I had cheated on him… he then became cold and distant and said he’s got a lot of stuff going through his mind…

    Even thought I have since reassured him I would never do that he said he believes me and that at first that was the issue but now he said he doesn’t know what he wants to do he just wants to be alone and not with anyone ….

    He said he cares for me and wants me to be happy but doesn’t feel the same about me and he even said he’s confused by his thoughts…. he said when he used to think about things and me he felt love and saw a future now he says when he think of me there is no feelings anymore it’s just blank….. and then he said maybe he’s depressed ( one of the many reasons I loved him was because he was so straight up about how he felt and played no games ect) now this odd behaviour is happening….. he actually told me last Sunday that he thinks 2020 will be our year as I’m still studying…. he said he doesn’t feel anything for friends family ect either???? I really don’t know what to do because he is actually quite a sensitive guy and I have tried to make it better and just be there for him but he just said he wants to be alone …. but he wanted to tell me straight out how he’s feeling incase his feelings for life and me never return to normal….
    I don’t know if he’s just saying this to make me feel sorry for him or what’s going on….. but I do know that before this fight he was still telling me he loved me…… what do I do!?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2018 at 2:56 pm

      Hi Rachi,

      Give him a week..if he stays with his decision, start the nc rule

  9. Kelly

    January 14, 2018 at 8:25 pm

    After 5 years of silence. We never actually slept together but tried dating on 4 different occassions. It never worked out. The last time he kicked me out of his place after an argument and I had already a few drinks in me. A few mo ths later he tried contacting me through email. I did not respond. Fast forward 5 years. Out of no where he send an email to my work email. He had to do some searching. Because I had completely chagNed careers. He ae said he was thinking about me and wanted to see how I am. I responded. It had been enough time and I was no longer hurt or mad. Mind you he has been my greatest regret not sleeping with him.
    We exchanged emails over 4 day period. Finally he let me know he is partnered and has an 11 month old kid. I told him I have two kids and with their dad but unmarried. I also asked him what his real motivation for contacting me was and I was curious so for him not to take it the wrong way. It’s been 4 days.and no response. Mind you through the previous days things flowed and heven if he was busy he reaponseded. I am now annoyed and angry. I know he is crazy busy because of work but seriously 4 days. I don’t know if it was the kids comment or me trying to dig deeper into the situation. Help? Do I contact one last time?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 15, 2018 at 12:27 pm

      Hi Kelly,

      hmm.. I have the same question on you as you did for him.. I’m curious why you want to know if he was bothered with your questions..

  10. Kelly

    January 14, 2018 at 11:00 am

    My ex and I dated 5 years ago. We gave it four attempts and it never worked out. Actually the last attempt he kicked me out of his place and tried to contact me two months later. I ignored. Now 5 years later he email, which he put effort into searching for my work email. We echanged back and forth for a few days. He said he prefers emailing versus talking on phone.He kept saying it was nice to hear from him. Nice to talk to me. Asked personally things. I felt very open to talking. He finally explained his current relationship and kid status and asked about mine. I explained I have two kids and with their dad. I answered the rest of the questions he had asked in the email and I asked him a few in my reaponse. I also asked for clarification for why he contacted me. I guess i just wanted the cards on the table. 4 days later and he hasn’t responded. Now I’m more annoyed then I was 5 years ago. Now I don’t know if it’s the fact I have two kids and in a relationship or because I askes about his motives. Do I respond again and voice my thoughts or realize it’s done or see if he every gets back? In his defense he works a lot and has a kid, but 4days and he can’t send an email. Part of me wants to respond with how about meeting up for coffee, just to see if he would respond or show his motive.

  11. Joy

    January 10, 2018 at 8:12 pm

    Hi, what does he mean?
    1. He still loves me but theres no chance for us to be together again?
    2. He wants me to date other guys?
    3. He still wants to talk to me just because he wants to and nothing more?
    4. He is happy when i did something i dont normally do for my self?
    5. I will become happy again, Soon we will be happy again, but we are not going to get back together?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 11, 2018 at 5:35 pm

      yes, you can do 45 days. If you meant his birthday, check the link below and all of those probably means he got tired of the relationship but he’s still used to talking to you so, he wanted to stay friends.
      “Can I Text My Ex On His Birthday?” Let’s End This Discussion Right Now

  12. Marie

    January 7, 2018 at 12:01 am

    Hi EBR,
    if thats the case if he just said it out on anger or he fell out of love because he got tired, will i ever get him back? what will i do? im currently on the 11th day of the NC rule.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2018 at 8:26 pm

      yes, there is still a chance and that’s why it’s important to improve yourself.. Do not chase and the change has to be genuine and done for yourself because if you’re doing it for him, that’s chasing..

  13. K

    January 4, 2018 at 4:23 pm


    I’m just wanting some advice. My ex and I dated for a year and were due to move in together next month and stay trying for a baby. However, he broke up with me over text the day after we had an arguement saying we don’t work as a couple and he doesn’t see a future with me anymore because I’m too hypersensitive and we argue too much (the arguement was over something not worth ending a relationship over).
    I sent him a message asking if it is permenant this time (he’s broken up with me by text before with a similar reason but we got back together after two weeks) because I don’t want to break up and could we please talk. No reply. It’s been 8 Days of NC now and we’ve been broken up just over two weeks.
    Surely if he wanted to break up he would have just replied to my message that yes it was permenant? That’s all I want to know! This man is 36 years old but he’s acting so immature. I think I’m clinging onto hope that his silence means that he’s not sure himself? Any thoughts? Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 11:58 pm

      Hi K, .

      It would be better to think that he had broken up with you. Because if he really wanted to make it work, he would have instead of ghosting you.

  14. Marie

    January 4, 2018 at 11:18 am

    Hi EBR team,
    what if he said he is fed up of my attitude or he had fallen out of love?
    what does he mean about this?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 6:56 pm

      it’s either he’s just saying it out of anger.. or he really fell out of love because he got tired.

  15. Bailey

    January 1, 2018 at 5:15 pm

    Hello! My ex broke up with me a week ago. It was an LDR. Said he didn’t want to hurt me, and said he wanted to stay friends (among the other million excuses). I think it was just cold feet, as he was going to move here within 3 months. Plus maybe a loss of interest on his part, as I admittedly was very needy during the relationship. He sobbed and begged me to stay friends, and we continued talking for a few days, but I ultimately decided I couldn’t stay friends because it would hurt too much. This devastated him (or he was putting on a good act, with tears and desperation – I’m a cynic at this point). I sent him a goodbye email, and unfriended him on Facebook. He hasn’t replied (and I don’t expect him to). I did need to cut things off completely to protect myself and move on. Either way, I’ll be ok. But, I do still love him. Can I use this as a chance to get him back? Is this the end?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 4, 2018 at 6:59 pm

      Hi Bailey

      you can do the nc rule.. don’t add him back yet, just make your posts public.

  16. Selle

    December 29, 2017 at 10:02 pm

    I have recently broke up with my ex just few days before Christmas. We are in temporary LDR since i have to take care of family matters here back in my homeland. Things were good during the couple of weeks of physical separation since we always talk and chat everyday. Even tried my best to keep things kinky with him even with chat or phone calls. Until the 3rd week when he suddenly brought up concerns about the uncertainty as to when i will be going back and then dropped a hint that his mother is pairing him up to other prospects since she doesn’t think that our relationship is serious due to the fact that it is LDR. He told me that he loves me and not interested in meeting those prospects but he might give in eventually to her mother’s demand. I told him that I trust him and should know better how to handle the situation and reminded him as well that i love him but he should not keep me at bay if temptations comes along. I’d rather leave him than to be two-timed eventually. Shortly after that, he suddenly ghosted on me and barely chat or talk with me. He said that he is always busy at work which is unusual since even though both of us are busy, we always make it a point to check on each other, either just a quick good morning or good night with kisses were never missed. This time it was different. I tried to reach out to him several times for us to have the talk but he always dodged those calls telling me that he fell asleep as soon as he is home or was too busy at work. I was able to call him my 3rd attempt and cornered him. Probed and then he confessed that he went out with those prospects on a coffee date. He doesn’t even have plans of telling me until i asked him. I’ve asked if that girl is a good potential/prospect for him and he replied ‘could be’. Thus, i’ve responded that we should end our relationship then. Because if he really love me, he should have resisted the temptation of meeting prospects coz that is a premise that he is already looking to replace me. He deliberately went out and met that girl even we were still together. LDR or not, doesn’t matter. He cheated on me that is why i broke up with him.

    Anyway, after some banter both in calls, chats, i’ve blocked him includijng in social media. The only thing that remain is our emails. He previously emailed me that he knows that he made mistake and resolved that things will never be the same. He wished me Merry Christmas and told me to be good to myself. I did not responded to that email (sent Dec 25) afterwards coz I really am tired with him.

    However, just yesterday (Dec 28), he sent a new email dropping a How are you note and said that he misses talking with me. He said that he hope i had a nice Christmas and reminded me again to be good to myself. As of now, I haven’t responded as i am puzzled as to why he is contacting me again just after a few days of disconnecting with him. I don’t know what to do now. I love him but i am also trying to move on coz those prospects and temptations are still between us. I don’t want to be hurt again. Please advise as to what to do with his email.

    Appreciate your response.


    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 9:24 pm

      Hi Selle,

      Nothing.. If you really want to move on, ignore it.

  17. Melissa

    December 9, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    My ex and I were together for 4 years. This is after being separated for 13 years. Yes, we dated before and we have a son together who is 17 now. Anyway, we have been broke up for 2 months now. This happened when he was arrested after getting very intoxicated and violent one night. This isn’t like him. Now of course he’s going through a bunch of court stuff and he claims that he doesn’t remember what happened that night. He also blames me for all of it. I understand that alcohol can make people not think right. He has to be sober because the court says. Now he has to deal with everything sober which is something he’s never done. We weren’t allowed to even talk for a month. Now we can text and since then he’s told me that we need to move on and there’s no trust. After 4 years?! How can he try for 13 years to get me back and then walk away so easy?! He’s told me that he’s always been in love with me. Heck, he even told his ex wife that he was still in love with me. Is it really that easy for him to leave? Does he really mean it when he says he wants to move on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2017 at 2:07 am

      Hi Melissa,

      is he still in jail? If not, where is he now? Do you still see him when he sees his son?

  18. Jean

    December 1, 2017 at 10:16 am

    Hi Sorry, I don’t think I made that message clear…I pasted his whole text message to you so its starts with i’m happy you….and then he ends the message saying do you understand what i am saying?…….So he was saying should he basically just be on his own which is what he has gotten used to these past few months of not seeing me etc or should he risk getting back together…So yeh most of what is written in my other message is his text to me….

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 4, 2017 at 6:31 am

      ah.. yeah, it seems like he’s afraid to try it again with you.. but that also means there’s a chance.. you just have to take it take it slow and don’t push it..

  19. Jean

    November 30, 2017 at 6:32 pm

    Hi! So I had Broke up with my ex nearly 2 month ago. I messaged him a few days ago and we got talking. We met up over the weekend and I stopped over at his place for a couple of days…I asked about our relationship and he said he wasn’t sure what was going on. He sent me a message saying this…I’m really happy you feel differently about things I honestly am and not for my sake at all but for you. You should try remember that I felt like you might bee feeling now aaaages ago… I was ready to commit everything and got nothing back. This is the dilemma. Do I risk my mental health and happiness AGAIN for an uncertainty or stick to what I’ve been accustomed to this past few months? All to make someone happy who prolly should have been before? I did try that twice…didn’t work out too good for me. Do you understand what I’m saying?…..so I replied to this saying that I understand but I feel like this time it would be different…he hasn’t messaged me back. I’ve decided to give him some space…what do you think…do you think he wants to get back together…should I just do the NC again? Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2017 at 8:54 pm

      Hi Jean,

      Sorry, I actually don’t understand what you mean.. What was it that you were accustomed to? Because from what I get in what you said above.. He said he doesn’t think you and him are fit for each other. That’s what he thought before but not currently..

  20. Daffodil

    November 26, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    Both of us are mid 20s .My boyfriend and I have been dated for 6 months. Everything was smooth for the first 4 months and he showed genuine interest in me.. I mean he talked about our future together. There were times when he is down but it was I think normal problem in life. Then he started becoming distant and began spending more time with his new friends.. Never made plans anymore and I really miss spending time with him… One day he posted photos with his friends and because I was already upset, I charged him with why are you not spending time with me anymore and all that stuff. After a brief texting he told me that I wanted to tell you that I am not committed to things, and we move fast , should have let it develop… I felt really angry i mean this man is playing games with me.. without think out of anger I told him I wouldn’t want to waste time with such person and we are better off as friends..
    Next day I realise that I love him so much so I called him to talk over the matter face to face.. he straight forward told me that we will be just friends please don’t be sad.. I feel ashamed to write here that I have even beg him to come back but he kept on saying that he cannot decide right now… Recently i told him whether he want us back together he told me that he is not good in making decisions and I should take if I need to and that he doesn’t have anyone close (girlfriend) right now… it has been 2 months now since breakup and I am confused I feel I am the one who is responsible for this relationship to end I regret everyday… Please give me suggestions..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 2:05 am

  21. Rose

    November 12, 2017 at 3:13 pm

    I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We only dated a month, but it was very intense and a rather complicated situation. My best friend is the one who got us together, ironically, it’s her brother. Who has a son. Who is also still married. Yikes, I know.

    But all things considered, it was a risk I was willing to take because I thought in my little world at that time that it was going to be okay because A) I knew for a fact that his wife and he split up in absolutely not good terms since she basically tried to kill him, for realzies, and B) He’d been filing for a divorce for two years and hadn’t dated anyone during that time. C) She did not have a relationship with their son, she didn’t care, she only cared when she tried to kidnap him on gunpoint, the best way to get money from your husband. D) I thought in my head, that if it didn’t turn out fine, that I would be strong enough to walk away from this with a heart intact. F) He is the one who initiated it with me.

    Oh boy. It was actually really nice. We connected on a deep level so quickly. He opened up to me and I opened up to him on a really emotional level. It went a bit too fast, looking back now. We started talking about having a future together, he was the one who always initiated those conversations, he told me no one had showed him as much respect that I was showing him. I had respect for how much he had to work because he was working while also trying to start a company. We’d talk almost every day and usually after his work was over and things had calmed down for him. After only a month, he said he loved me.

    And then things got weird. In stead of replying to me in texts, he just sent emojis. Which bothered me. Because I got the sense that he wasn’t really trying to make an effort in communicating with me. He didn’t call me after his work for two evenings. And then I kinda lost it on day three because of this weird circumstance where I was stuck in the city to help my sister with a move but she’d forgotten she was supposed to go to work, so I was stuck in this tiny student apartment, stuff everywhere, no TV, no one to talk to, no key to go out and take a walk (she had the only key) and no charger for my phone, just crossword puscle and a bucket of anxiety cause I had drank four energy drinks in the span of two days to have the energy to help my sister. So I got stuck in my head, and he kept replying to me with those stupid emojis which made me feel like I was nagging on him. I tried to ignore it, I should have. But by the time it had gone 6 hours of being in my head and no one to talk to (I tried calling people) I finally let him know that sending just emojis like that made me feel like he didn’t care enough to actually write something back, like I was just supposed to guess what he was thinking all the time.

    Must have made me look real needy. He didn’t reply. So I apologized the day after. He said he’d had a stressful day and I said I hadn’t realized that and apologized again and asked if I could call him that evening. He said yes and then when I did, he cut me off without answering and without an explenation. So three days later I wrote a text to him admitting that I had been in a bad place that day and that my lashing out had nothing to do with him. No reply. Next week after that when I’d accidentally sent him a snap, he’d replied with an emoji and I asked how he was and he’d replied with “I need a little time” to which I replied “Okay. Hope everything is well with you.”

    So I ignored him for a month. No contact. Full on. Gave him space. Even heard from my friend that he’d asked her about me on week three. But on day 30, nada. So day 31, I sent him a text of something fun and positive, nada.

    Two days later, today, actually I wrote to him that “I think it’s a good thing that we’re taking time from each other because we obviously both have more important things to focus on now, but that I would have liked for us to be more honest about where we stand. But I wished him the best and good luck with his company.”

    I’m just done with him at this point, because the whole thing is so childish. I was never a horrible person to him when we dated, I don’t deserve to be treated this way. I did try to give him space but I won’t be treated as an alternativ. It’s not normal to expect someone to wait more than a month when you’ve only dated a month, so I’m done. But I guess I’m looking for answers why this went the way it did. What’s your take? I have my own theory, neediness and being too available, whatnot and some people would have probably adviced me from writing that last text, which he hasn’t replied to by the way, but I just wanted to let this whole thing go before my dynamic with him poisons my friendship with his sister. I feel good about it, about putting my foot down. I don’t care what he thinks at this point, because I’ve marked that I am done. But I want to know where I screwed up and was my mistake really that big?

    Sorry for the novel. And thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 13, 2017 at 1:51 am

      Hi ROse ,

      Everything just went too fast ,too soon..

  22. Liyana

    November 5, 2017 at 8:44 am

    Hye. Idk whether he is saying true or no.idk .i n my ex just broke up few days ago.we couple 2years 1 month. Idk .well he is a psycho . how ik ?doc.well we never meet.just call n so on.He say forget bout him n ect by yesterday he text me give he photos n ask if he handsome or no so I answer like I always did.but at the night . u know when human in emotional state. I say something like ” u didn’t love me ofc it easy for u” well he did ask to be friends. N yes this is not the first break up. 4? I think n yea we always get back but idk this time I feel like lost hope? I really love him. N ect so know he block me. So can I make him love me back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 6, 2017 at 12:42 pm

  23. Keah

    October 31, 2017 at 2:53 am

    So my ex and I were together for two years. We were long distance for a good year roughly before I moved back to the city he lived in. Things were wonderful. I attended family functions, met all of his friends, and when we were together everything was wonderful. We took vacation together, tried new things together, etc.

    I travel for work, and this summer I was away a lot. I stressed myself out trying to manage my schedule to bring me home and my job just didn’t work with me. So I wasn’t home much at all. It was hard on me, and hard on him. It also made me extremely needy in my time I DID spend at home. (I have noticed this looking back.) In this time, a girl had been actively pursuing him at work. And he gave in. He cheated more than once with her (and he didn’t tell me). He moved across the country temporarily for work a week or so after their last hookup. Two weeks after that, we broke up. I had already visited him in his new city twice (I grew up there so I’m there a lot). He told me he loved being with me but couldn’t do distance. It’s too hard. Said he knew if he didn’t take this job and stayed in my city, we’d get married and he wasn’t ready for that yet. When I confronted him about cheating rumors I had heard, he said part of the reason he left was the guilt for what he had done. Said he needed to work on himself. He needed to love himself before he could love me. Etc. Said he still saw a possible future with me later on if we both end up single and settled in the same city again. We attempted friendship, but I realized he was just trying to ease his guilt and his pain by staying on good terms in his eyes. It wasn’t a good friendship and it wasn’t healthy for either of us. I attempted NC. He got angry that I “hadn’t told him I needed space,” which admittedly I guess I should’ve since we were attempting friendship. He blocked me on Facebook at that moment saying, “I hope we can still be friends, but if not I understand.” I faultered I told him I had realized he didn’t respect me and never would until I respect myself enough to know that I deserve better. We ended that conversation on ‘bad terms.’ I broke no contact again trying to be friendly. Said “Guess what!” And he asked what. Then, I just said I had finally finished a season of a show he loves. He didn’t respond. So I sent a video message apologizing if my actions of pulling away had hurt him and explained why I felt it was necessary (I know now, bad move). I also said I respected the fact it was clear he needed space right now just like I had, so I was going to honor that and stop reaching out. We’ve now been NC for two weeks (I’m really trying for 30 days). I’m still blocked. I’m working on myself. Actively getting out and being successful in my life. I’m on online dating sites. Lost 10 pounds and working on my health. I’m truly trying to be the ungettable girl. I’m fully aware he might not come back, and I’m also aware he *may* have self sabotaged the relationship out of fear. I care about him. I always will. I truly believe he’s a good person who made poor choices. And even now (2 months post breakup), I still see a future with him that can work. I know that it relies on both of us growing as people (him with commitment and me being needy), but I want it to work. Do you think my damage done post breakup is irreparable? Or am I living in a dream world thinking he meant what he said?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 1, 2017 at 6:52 pm

      Hi Keah,

      Extend to 45 days and be active in posting.. Focus in your improvements and dont over think…if it doesn’t work out after slowly trying building rapport after nc then move on…

  24. Tina Betts

    October 13, 2017 at 2:34 am

    Ok so my boyfriend and I were together for almost two years we lived together towards end then while we were out I had warrant got arrested and went to jail he was banned from were we were living so while I was in jail he had nowhere to live and went to stay with his mom . I was supposed to be in jail ninety days but got myself out in three weeks. Conditions on moving back to his mom’s were he could not have any one over he can’t go out he had to get sober and go to Na meetings with her.. so when I got out of jail he was telling me he missed me and my boys loved us the only thing that kept him going was knowing we would be together again he was miserable without us. He would tell me he was scared he was loosing me. Beg me to talk to him all that. I went to jail June 28th got out July 14th. So the only thing he does at his mom’s is literally work go to Na meetings and sometimes goes with sponsor. I have seen him two times since getting out of jail cuz I drove there and he snuck to meet me. About a month ago he said he needs to focus on his recovery and can’t be in a relationship right now he blocked me on phone and Facebook. I begged cried pleaded called and text non stop. Found out where his mom’s was and drove by there. He now says I should move on cause he doesn’t want to be with anyone right now and says it’s over. But won’t talk to me and I ask him to tell me he doesn’t love me any more and doesn’t want me anymore he says to move on its over but won’t say he doesn’t love me any more .He went from about a month ago afraid of loosing me to blocking me and not talking to me to telling me to move on its over and he doesn’t want to be with anyone right now. How do I get him back? And how does it go from not wanting to loose me to telling me to move on please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 13, 2017 at 7:32 pm

      Hi Tina,

      How old are you both? Are you going to do the no contact rule?

  25. Pinkglitter

    October 11, 2017 at 9:01 am

    At break up he texted that he is toxic, and thinks that’s the right decision (that I cannot be with him) and sorry things didn’t work. I had said I cannot be with him if he sexts his ex. Confused because he never wanted to rekindle with her. And why lead me on for a future with me if he was wanting to be with her? Why say he loves me and do that anyways?

    Our whole relationship was amazing we had so much chemistry, passion, got along with a house on fire, so happy and never fought, he was very very into me, he would listen to me and vise versa, good morning/night texts, non stop texts all day every single day, never ever showed signs of not wanting to be with me.

    Then an hour later texted again an hour later and said I wish you all the best in future and hope you do find happiness. (I never replied)

    There was no word of being friends. And sounds pretty final to me that he wants to ban me from his life???

    Straight after he sent those texts he blocked me on Facebook and messenger.

    11 days later with neither of us had made any contact at all. But had to see each other at a kids activity (no we don’t have and we looked at each other and said hi how you going and both said good. I was smiles and kind. He left. Then at end of night collecting his child I said nicely I hope your taking care of yourself whilst walking to my car. He said yeah thanks you too. Later that night he unblocked me from Facebook. But no friend request to date. And no further contact from each of us. He has moved in with his ex but he has always said he is ony there because of the children. Plus said he is not in love with his ex nor attracted to her or interested in her. He said it his perfect and he loves me and he couldn’t live without me I am his dream.

    I never wanted to break up. I still love him. I would like to at least be a friend or not banned for life.

    I take it there’s no hope of trying for reconciliation???

    Ps we do have to see each other for a few mins each Friday night for next month or so.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2017 at 10:38 am

      Hi Pink glitter,

      You should move on.. just be casual whenever you see each other.. Don’t keep a toxic person in your life.

  26. Bri

    September 30, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    Hey!! While reading this I just realized how dumb and immature my ex was…. Just yesterday he told me “u aren’t pretty anyways, I don’t kNow how I liked u ” I was like wtf!! When he’s been telling for more than three months how beautiful I was and how insecure and afraid he was to lose to me to another guy that he couldn’t believe how such a beautiful girl lkke me would like him… He was an asshole and violent with his words with me every time we would fight to which he would call me and then apologize….his last words after he basically called me ugly lol was that he loved me lol and then he blocked hahahahaha omg I’m glad he’s gone, he’s seems violent so BIG NO NO

  27. Violet

    September 27, 2017 at 4:44 am

    What does it mean if my ex asked
    “will I ever see you again?”
    After we talked on the phone after not having any communication for four weeks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 27, 2017 at 4:47 pm

      Hi Violet,
      it can mean he misses you

  28. Samantha

    September 25, 2017 at 8:02 pm

    My ex contacted me after two months of no contact to “say hi” and tell me he lives by me now. We texted a bit back and forth then he stopped responding. What’s that all about?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 27, 2017 at 4:48 pm

      that’s hard to tell.. maybe he just wondered how it would be like to talk to you again.

  29. ashley

    September 20, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    I was w my ex for 4 years we have a son together and 4 months ago he cheated on me. Kicked me and my son out moved her in days after we left. She tattooed his name on her already after they were together 2 months. Which he was begging me to do the last couple months of our relationship. I have proof they haven’t known each other longer then 4 months so I’m just so hurt how he moved on so fast. Not to mention when we try to co parent he’s so mean to me I’m called a h*e b*tch anything. He says he doesn’t love me and I’m ugly or skinny or anything mean. I just don’t get how you have a family with someone then can treat them this way. It’s like he’s as totally different person. And of course I get the blame for everything. What do you think he’s doing this for?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 25, 2017 at 9:42 pm

      Hi Ashley,

      If he’s constantly being disrespectful, it would be better to move on..don’t let him treat you that way

  30. Jane

    September 12, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    Ex and I were togheher for 4 years and lived together. Both in it 30s.
    His family always tried to come between us and I tried a lot of times to sort it as it upset him and was causing rows between us.
    I had a lot going on, two deaths close to me and PTSD. In my grief at Easter I said he wasn’t enough and told him to leave. I meant his behaviour as he was arguing with me over his family again (but they were always leaving me out) and that week is burried my friend. My head was a mess. I’ve apologised since and he said he’s not asked for an apology but accepts it.
    He’s not long started his dream career and has some failings because of the break up. He blamed one failing on me, the second he called me help, but now blames me. Says his head was full of us when he needed to learn new stuff.
    This is the guy who said I meant more than others and him to me as well. Both being through a lot of good times and hard times and always made it through. Even his friend said he was happiest with me out of all the girls hes been with. But this family thing was causing us boh stress and they weren’t willing to give in, nor him stand up to them.
    April and May he was so nasty and pulled out of the house when I was away at work.
    June he then totally breaks down and saying he missed me, missed us and we’d been through too much to drift apart. Said he wanted to sit down sort it out over time as well as him doing his career. But it was too much for us to loose.
    One weekends he spoke to his mum, all of sudden he feels better and said let’s be friends for now I have to put stuff right at work. I was shocked I didn’t know how it had all changed again bar his mum. He said that’s how it has to be for now I have to put things right at work it’s my dream career and I’m failing my training.
    I was very upsetting and said alsorts plus my friends were feeding me stuff. He said I don’t know if it’s a break or final because I don’t know how you feel, be yourself not what your friends want you to be.
    I admit I said a few harsh things after what I was fed then he blocked me down to email. He said it was his way of dealing with it because he needed to concertante on his career and didn’t need his head filled with it.
    Then come July and he turned up at my house, seeed cold but wanted to meet for a drink in two weeks time. But then we had a row and it was very bad. But I was so confused and anxious. He knows I’ve suffered a lot of grief with my losses.
    Weekend after he saw me, hi sorry parents went down to see him and his group passed out but obviously he was still there because of his failings.
    All of sudden a workmate of mine spotted he’d just rejoined a dating website looking for s relationship, when only the weekend before he said he wanted to get to know me again and trust me again but didn’t want to be with anyone right now because of work and see what end of September brought for us.
    He said he went online dating to pass time, see if he was enough for anyone and just to see if anyone saw him to see if he was being followed.
    We only have contact via email, he said he’s said all he needs to say over email and doesn’t need to see me as he said he won’t trust I won’t cause a scene. Says he come so far and won’t fail his course now.
    He now says he’s happier, he works during the week, see his friends and family at weekends and does what he wants when he wants and it will only change when he decides 🙁
    I feel totally lost. I’ve got no closure. He still emails. But him cutting off and blocking me out is not like him at all and I feel his family are a drive behind it (they are v close to one another and his sister hates me because she was jealous of us). He says he can’t take me being so up and down and wants to carry on as he was. But we were so close, meant more than others, didn’t even give me a chance to prove myself after my grief counciling or anything her I listened to him in June when he broke down. We meant more than others and planned a future together and it’s a big thing at our age.
    I am struggling alot, I can’t sleep properly, eat properly he was my best friend and partner. For him to be how he is now when usually he’s a very emotional guy always a talker is unreal. I know his career is important but still and he just blames me for everything 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 14, 2017 at 9:09 pm

  31. Natasha

    September 12, 2017 at 12:56 am

    The guy in question is my boyfriend. We love each other and he has already started talking to me about marriage and kids etc. He had been chasing me for a few years and hence appreciates having me. He always says things like “I will never ever forget you, no matter what happens” and “You’re special” and so on. I know he has REAL feelings for me. However, two nights ago I started a fight with him (on the phone) about not seeing me for a week. The night before the fight I also ignored his messages and phone calls and during the fight I told him “I don’t think about you, I actually forget about you UNTIL you call.”, to which he said “There’s no loving you. You have no heart. I don’t love you”. Then I said “I don’t love you”. It was clear that he didn’t mean it and neither did I. He hung up the phone saying “I can’t talk to you right now. Call me when you want to talk”. Normally, after a fight he always is the first to contact me after a few days saying “I missed you. My life is not the same without you” EVEN if it’s my fault. I know it has only been two days, but what is the best thing for me to do? Ignore him until he calls me? Or call him and look needy and is COMPLETELY out of character for me and he knows it too. Help?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 14, 2017 at 7:51 pm

      Hi Natasha,

      Cool down for however long you need and communicate with him..better if you get couples counseling too..

  32. Haley

    August 31, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. It took a long way for us to be where we are and right before the break up he was talking about marrying me. We broke up because he was very stressed out and things weren’t working out as well. I started the no contact at the end of July and on august 17 he sent me a long text saying he did miss me and was so stressed out and depressed. We talked and hung out the whole weekend and then things didn’t go so well after I accidentally broke his car key. He told me “it’s not that I don’t want to be with you it’s that we both need time” the. I asked do you not want to be with me ever again? He said for the short time being. I’m sure because of stress and being upset. Yesterday I went to give him the money for his new key and everything was fine until he blew up on me… he went into rage saying hurtful things like we won’t ever be together again… I am very hurt because I don’t understand where this all came from and why he is so angry with me? He blocked me on instagram again but not his phone. He had me blocked on his ig before then unblocked me and would watch my stories I posted. I know that I am going into no contact but I am afraid that he means it .. I would do anything to fix things and I just need help. I love him so much and I feel he is upset . I just want to know what I can do to make things right besides no contact. I have ex bf pro also. Please help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2017 at 8:15 pm

      Hi Haley,
      He said it out of emotion.
      So, don’t ovethink..

    2. Haley

      September 1, 2017 at 3:26 am

      Thank you Amor! After reading article after article I do agree with you! The no contact is hard but it is teaching me patience. I am confident in myself that things will be ok. I’m working towards being the ungettable girl! I want him to see the best version of myself and think “wow I really was wrong about her” I’ve already lost 20 pounds and I feel great thanks to this website and all of your support so thank you so very much!

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 3, 2017 at 7:28 pm

      You’re welcome! That’s very good!

  33. emy

    August 20, 2017 at 11:23 am

    I’ve been together with my ex bf almost 7 years. he cheated on me & found another girl & I think he is going to have their engagement soon. There are so many reasons why he said we both should broke up.. 1) I cheated on him on our 5th years. which I regret it everyday. 2) my family didn’t approve him to be my future husband. He feels discouraged. 3) Because I didn’t understand his feeling & situation well. we had a really big fight for the first time, we yell at each other, blaming each other. I even met the new girl, & tell that my ex bf n I already have sex. that’s makes him really angry at me, from that point I realize he love that girl so much. This is really hurting me. now, I’m slowly getting better, it’s been a week I didn’t contact him. CAN I ACTUALLY GET HIM BACK?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 22, 2017 at 9:09 pm

      Hi Emy,

      when did you break up?

  34. Ash

    August 18, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    I’m on day 9 of NC (with no word from him yet) and going strong – actively implementing a better life for myself so that when it ends I am strong and confident and happy. We were together for 2.5 years and had a positive, supportive and intimate relationship and we broke up just before we were due to move in together.

    Here’s some things he said:
    * Something isn’t right and I don’t know what it is
    * Maybe it isn’t the right time for me
    * I don’t feel the same as I used to for you
    * I don’t think I love you

    I’m wondering whether I am hold out hope for someone who honestly doesn’t love me any more – I mean that is literally what he said. He didn’t say it in anger, and he repeated several times in different situations.

    My question is – have you heard of a situation of exes getting back together when the dumper said they weren’t in love any more? As the days go on I wonder whether I should take what he has said literally.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 18, 2017 at 5:46 pm

      yeah, most of them actually say that.

  35. Dana

    August 15, 2017 at 1:12 pm

    I need some help.I’m 30, he is a 21 year old fireman, we were together for a half year but because his whole family is in a religious sect where his father is the pastor and i didn’t join, we argued a lot and we broke up in May. We had a baby and he wanted to marry me, we were very happy but i had a miscarriage at 12weeks and he just disappeared. He said he needed some time grieving and that we cannot be together anymore because he isn’t able to have sex with me anymore also we made a big sin when we were together before marriage and we got punished by losing our child. I needed him, I still do. I’m very weak and lonely without him.I begged him to come back but he doesnt want me anymore. I tried to not talk to him for almost 3weeks but in that time he just closed the relationship in himself totally while i was waiting for him to come back. He is very cold, he said he doesn’t miss me, he doesn’t want to be next to me, we are not meant to be. I don’t know how to handle all this with the grief.His family is talking to me sometimes.I even tried to join to his religion but it still didnt help. He just doesn’t want me. I don’t know how to react.After that he said he knows we are not meant to be, i stopped talk to him yesterday. Should i disappear? Do the 30days no communication thing? I’m afraid he would just forget me and our baby in that time. He lives far from me so we cannot even meet accidentally. Have no idea what to do. I want to get back my child’s father. I want to get back our dream what he wanted more than me, getting married and have a family in harmony.Please help me.Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 16, 2017 at 1:21 pm

      Hi Dana,

      The no contact rule is not just to stop talking and wait.. You have to be active in your life.. Be active in healing and improving yourself and in posting.. And thens slowly rebuild rapport after..check this one:
      Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule

  36. Nathalie Silkstone

    August 6, 2017 at 8:51 am

    Me and my ex were together for two years and we’re so happy. Towards the end we were always fighting about him wanting to see his friends a lot and I got a bit controlling. He went to break up with me, but didn’t, and we worked it out. For a week we were very good and had a good balance. Things were looking up! Said he was happy! Then he said he thought about it and he didn’t love me anymore and didn’t want to be with me. And we would never get back together ever. I find it hard to believe he didn’t love me as all of his actions showed he did. What should I do now, as I still love him so much and I do want him back.

  37. sarah

    July 23, 2017 at 10:33 pm

    What does it mean when he says “we’re not getting back together because it’s a dead end relationship?” he thinks that we are in a very bad cycle of fighting then have really good days and then fighting and so on… He doesn’t want to continue any longer… this is our second time breaking up (been together 2 yrs total) and he said that he’s more sad this time around because he thought that when we got back together 9 months ago, it was for the long haul.. so does he really mean it when he said we’re never getting back together?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 5:13 pm

      he probably means it at the time he said it because of his emotions but it doesn’t mean you don’t have a chance.

  38. Kay

    July 19, 2017 at 2:17 am

    What my ex told me when he broke up with me is completely different from any of the comments above. His exact words were “I think I’m done with this relationship. I was non-stop thinking about it the past 2 days and this just isn’t gonna work out.”

    Is there any interpretation you guys can take from this? For context, we had an argument about him putting his friends first when he’s spending time with me and he went cold turkey on me for two days, and when I asked if we could talk, he sent me that message.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2017 at 12:37 pm

  39. alex

    July 10, 2017 at 9:26 pm

    my long distance bf of 5 years texted me that i was a liar and manipulator because i blocked him on social media (Facebook) and that it was over he was blocking me and to never contact him again. we actually were not friends on facebook and i had deactivated it so i wasnt even on there but he did not believe me that i wasnt and it wasnt even my idea to not be friends on social media. i wanted him on my facebook but he said social media wasnt important to him. what gives? after he said do not contact me im done im blocking you now i tried to call him which the calls did go through and i dont think ive been blocked and text him days later and he never responded. is it over? its been a week since he said he was done. he has said he was done before and answered my phone call the next day but not this time.how can i even implement NC when hes basically already doing that

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2017 at 11:31 am

      He’ll still check your account out of curiosity so reactivate it, improve yourself and be active in posting.. Just make them public

  40. Kinzie

    June 1, 2017 at 3:07 pm

    My ex and I dated for 6 months and towards the end we started getting in arguments because I wanted to settle down and have a family, and he didn’t feel ready. Well a week later he breaks up with me and says he just isn’t ready for a serious relationship. We had remained friends and the next day he shows up at my house asking for another shot saying he was just afraid of commitment and wanted to be with me. So everything goes great for a week, he brings up an idea to move in together, starts talking about “when we get married”..etc. Then one day he texts me saying that he just isn’t happy in the relationship and we aren’t meant to be together and I should move on. What do I do? We both work together (it’s where we met), we both have different religious backgrounds but had discussed a mutual feeling of not wanting religion, and I have chronic depression which I know has taken a toll on him at times. He says that I’ve been great and he enjoyed being with me but just isn’t happy. I feel like I’ve been doing everything I could to support him and been a good girlfriend, is there any chance left?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 1, 2017 at 6:39 pm

      HI Kinzie,

      get professional help for your depression and check this one:
      EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

  41. Yulya

    May 26, 2017 at 7:32 pm

    I was with my ex in a relationship for 2,5 years. We lived together, but once he had a virtual sex with his friend and after that our relationships went wrong. They were intense, he was trying hard to make it better, but i was offended and sometimes could start arguing with him about that situation (it lasted for 2 years) or started talking about living apart. So now we broke up and live apart. He is not sure if he loves me, if he wants this relationships, sometimes he says that he wants to find sex buddies so he never get hurt again. We decided not to talk while we get something sorted out in our heads, 4 days after no talking he started missing me and texted me 7 days after. We met, talked, he said he missed me and wants to kiss me, but still not sure if he loves me. We had sex, but after I told him to take another break. So today is the first day of no talking. What are the chances of getting back together and what should I do? We both messed up this relationships

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 27, 2017 at 5:16 pm

      restart nc, dont sleep with him again if you’re not official, because you’re going to be friends with benefits if you keep doing that.. do at least 45 days.. be active in improving yourself and in posting and keep doing it even while slowly building rapport.. but, if while you’re building rapport, he brings up just having sex, move on..

  42. Jessica

    May 11, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    Need advice .
    Me and my ex got in a fight Friday . He was blowing up my phone & being insecure so I said something along the lines of how it’s not adding value to each others lives to fight like that. He took it very person “glad to know I’m appreciated. Find someone who adds value . I’m done.”. I begged him to realize I didn’t mean it . At this point damage was done . Next day texts saying he wants to be friends because I made it clear I’m discontent. He said he still wants to be in my life, I agreed and asked if we could hang out next week. He said he wanted to see me too . Later I blew up at him (long story) and he got mad . Left him for 2 days then apoligized. He thanks me for apology & says we can talk next week. I agree . 2 days later I be break and say I miss him and become desperate and weepy . I ask to see him & he says now he doesn’t know know cause of how fiesty I was last week with him . He said we can try to talk next week. We have broken up before and got back. What now? What’s are my chances?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 12, 2017 at 7:16 pm

  43. Joni

    May 8, 2017 at 2:58 am

    My and my ex were friends before we started dating , we went out for 2 and a half years and a year ago we broke up, we’ve been in contact and have been hanging out but he brings up that we’re not getting back together still, what do I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 11, 2017 at 3:12 pm

  44. Hannah

    May 3, 2017 at 12:27 am

    I need your advice. So I was friends with my ex for a few years before we started going out. We went out for around 3-4 months when he decided to break up with my because I am saving myself for marriage and he didn’t think he could handle it. Everything else in our relationship was going well and he had been aware of this fact before we started going out, so his decision to break up with me came as a shock. Well after about 2 days, he apologized and said that he wanted to get back together and that he had made a big mistake. I took him back hoping for the best, but 2 months later, he broke up with me citing the same reason but saying he really liked me and it broke his heart. I tried no contact for about three weeks and we have recently started talking as friends. We hang out with my group of friends and he still talks to me the same we talked when we were dating. The only problem is he stated that he never wanted to get back with me about a week after our breakup because he didn’t think it would work out and he would only hurt me. I honestly don’t know if he will come back again and if I should even take him back if he does at this point. Your advice will be greatly appreciated!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 3, 2017 at 7:17 pm

      try the no contact rule and do at least 30 days

  45. Monica

    April 26, 2017 at 12:37 pm

    I have dated with my ex for an year. He is very possessive, controlling and jealous type. When he can’t control me, he cut himself sometime. Though I do love him, I feel so confused at times. Though I wanted to break up, he always threatened me that he will kill himself if I leave. He always said he can’t leave without me.Then, he cheated on me with his boss and told it was my fault because I wasn’t caring gf. She was so nice for him and she is the one for him. Then, Two week after he dumped me, he called me and said he still love me and cried. But he didn’t cut off his new gf either. When I told him to come back, then he said he couldn’t. Then, I told him to go away, he texted me everyday that he missed me so much. I am so confused with his action.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 29, 2017 at 10:18 pm

      you should move on from him, he’s abusive..