How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back With Religious Differences

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what the most popular reasons for a breakup are?

Well, since I deal with breakups daily (through this site) I am probably the guy to ask.

Common reasons include,

Cheating…

Fighting too much…

Different values…

Different maturity levels…

Religious differences…

You probably did a double take on that last one, huh?

double take

Well it’s true…

I can’t tell you how many stories I have heard on this site about religious differences in couples causing a breakup.

Still don’t believe me.

Fine, allow me to give you a real time example,

Screen Shot 2015-11-10 at 5.36.23 PM

I want you to take note of the underlined area.

This woman loved her ex boyfriend so much that she was willing to convert religions for him.

Oh, and in case you are wondering it took me a whole 5 minutes to locate this comment.

All I did was pick a random article and scrolled down until I found something relating to religion and then took a screenshot of that comment.

Whether we like to admit it or not religious differences can play a huge role in breakups.

Now, I am going to tell you something really interesting about Ex Boyfriend Recovery that I have never told you before.

I am an American so I write for an American audience. However, one thing that is becoming clearer and clearer to me is the fact that the amount of visitors who come from the United States is lessening. In fact, I estimate that if things continue on the trend that they are currently on the traffic that I get to this website from the US will make up only around 30%. The rest of the world will make up 70%.

Right now the U.S. is at 47%,

Screen Shot 2015-11-10 at 5.51.45 PM

What’s the point of me telling you this?

Well, it’s partly to brag that I am one hell of a popular guy around the world 😉 .

But the other point is to tell you that pretty soon I am going to have to start tailoring my content to a worldwide audience and one thing I have noticed is that a lot of the questions I get about religion come from outside the United States.

So, I have my work cut out for me in learning about other cultures.

I mean, as an American I can only speak for myself but I think that we overlook religious differences in relationships in America more than other countries.

(But trust me when I say that religion can come between any relationship even in America.)

Nevertheless, I am getting off topic here.

If you and your ex boyfriend broke up due to religious differences you are in quite the dilemma.

BUT FIRST… There’s Something Important You Need To Know

I have been helping men and women get back with their exes for over half a decade and I have learned that most people have preconceived notions when they end up on my site. They think that all they have to do is follow the directions that I give them on the page and they are good to go. Now, while this may hold true in some cases I will say that getting an ex back is usually such a complex process that I can’t explain everything there is to explain in one simple article.

Luckily, I have created an “ultimate resource” for you to follow to not only get your ex back but to understand why they are acting the way they are acting.

All you have to do learn about this resource is to click the button below!

Get Relief FasterWith Tactics I Can't Put on the Blog...

 

The Dilemma You Are In

want to

Lets take a moment and talk about religious belief.

More specifically, when the average human being (across the world) starts to develop their belief in a higher power.

Let me throw it to you.

When do you think human beings start developing their beliefs about religion?

When they are young?

When they are teens?

When they are adults?

For most humans, it happens at a very young age.

As a child, I remember my mother trying to get me to go to Sunday school where they taught children about the Bible. But at a young age I never wanted to go. In fact, I would often try to sleep in on purpose in an effort to miss it so I could do what I wanted.

Of course, I always ended up going because, after all, she was my mother and I had to obey her.

And that leads me to my next point.

Most human beings get their religious beliefs from their parents.

In other words, if a parent is a hardcore Catholic then most likely the parents children will be Catholic. So, lets do a little role playing for a minute and pretend that your ex boyfriend is part of a religion that hates people with blue eyes.

blue eyes

And of course, you have blue eyes.

(Don’t feel bad I do too!)

Well, if your ex boyfriend was taught his entire life by his religion to avoid blue eyed people at all costs and he broke up with you because of your blue eyes then you are in quite the pickle.

I mean, how do you get someone back who his entire life was taught to run from people with blue eyes?

And therein lies our dilemma with religion.

It is EXTREMELY hard to convince someone to go against their wiring. Because lets face it, if you are dating a man who is very into religion then it’s almost like it makes him who he is. He relies on it for how to live his life and definitely who to date.

How do you overcome that?

It’s almost like trying to convince someone that the sky is blue when they were taught their entire lives that the sky was actually purple.

Getting an interfaith relationship back is no easy task.

And that leads me to my next point.

The Goal Of This Guide

The goal of this guide is to help you get your ex boyfriend back if you broke up due to religious differences.

You know what that means?

It means that I am approaching this with an assumption.

The Assumption = You and your ex broke up due to religious differences.

Now, since religion is going to be talked about a lot here I want to make sure that I mention that the goal of this guide is to not berate anyone’s beliefs. So, if you are a Catholic who is looking for me to make some horrible statements about a Jewish person then you have another thing coming. This guide is meant to be used to help you reunite with someone you love.

It isn’t meant to incite any type of anger or hard feelings.

Got it?

In other words, when you read this I want you to put your personal beliefs about your ex boyfriends religious beliefs vs your religious beliefs aside.

We need to look at this in a very logical manner and the funny thing about religions is that they cause people to be highly emotional.

So, that’s my little disclaimer.

Are you read to jump in?

Come On Chris… Can Religion Really Cause Breakups?

get a phone

You bet your ass it can!

Hmm…

I am trying to think of a really good way that I can drive this point home.

Lets imagine that you met your dream man and after a few years of dating he got down on one knee and proposed to you.

Great right?

All your problems are solved.

Eh…

Not exactly.

You see, he is Jewish and you are Catholic.

=======================

LETS PAUSE FOR A MOMENT

=======================

Now, if you aren’t exactly well informed these two religious beliefs clash due to whether or not the Jews crucified Jesus.

I don’t want to get too detailed here because I am a little ignorant on the technicalities but the point I am trying to make is that generally speaking these two religions don’t get along.

=======================

OK, LETS UN-PAUSE NOW

=======================

Religion often is at the root of a lot of the arguments that the two of you get in during your marriage.

For example, he insists that your children will not grow up Catholic.

This is something that you take offense to due to his tone when he says it.

(There is a negative connotation behind the way he says “Catholic.”)

Eventually you come to the realization that he is going to stand firm behind his beliefs so you give in and allow him to dictate your children’s religious beliefs. Of course, you want there to be a compromise so you ask if he will at least allow your children to be baptized.

The mere mention of this causes the biggest fight of your marriage.

So ya…

Religion can cause breakups.

Still not sold?

Ok, lets try to look at it a different way.

Of all the horrible violent acts that have occurred in the last twenty years there is one that seems to stand out above them all.

9/11

9_11

Without any religious beliefs many have argued that there would have been no 9/11 attacks and as much as I hate to admit it… I agree.

I honestly think that religious beliefs played a huge role in those attacks.

But lets not limit this to just the United States here (worldwide audience remember?)

I want you to look around at the history of the world.

How many wars were caused due to religious beliefs?

One immediately springs to mind for me.

The Crusades…

the crusades

If you don’t know what the Crusades is then allow me to educate you.

Crusades is just a title for the multiple religious wars and fights that were fought between the Muslims and Christians due to the religious disputes and controls over land in the Jerusalem.

Wow… I just realized we got way off topic here.

I mean, you came here to learn about your ex boyfriend and not get a history lesson from me.

Here is my point.

If religion can cause men and women to go to war then it’s not too far fetched to believe that it can trigger something as small as a breakup.

But something tells me you have already arrived that this conclusion.

What you are wondering is if it’s even possible to succeed in getting an interfaith relationship back.

Is It Even Possible To Succeed In Getting Your Interfaith Relationship Back?

jesus cat

Do you want the short answer or the long answer?

How about both.

The Short Answer

Yes

The Long Answer

Hmm…

How can I put this.

Ok, like I said above I am going to go ahead and assume that you and your ex boyfriend broke up due to religious differences so you have that working against you.

And then you add in the fact that most women fail to get their ex boyfriends back in general and you can understand why this is one of the rarer cases of success.

With that being said it’s definitely not impossible.

In fact, it’s very possible to succeed so don’t psyche yourself out just yet.

I kind of want to step back from the religious talk for a moment and talk about why most women fail to get their ex boyfriends back.

Now, I am going to be the first to admit that it kills me to say that.

In fact, my own father, who has turned into a super fan of Ex Boyfriend Recovery is always telling me to stay positive and try not to say statements like,

Most women fail to get their ex boyfriends back.

It’s the truth though.

Most women do fail to win back their ex boyfriends.

But have you ever asked yourself why?

I have thought a lot about this for the past week (notice I haven’t written a massive guide like this in a week and it’s because I was re-evaluating my own beliefs on getting an ex back. Oh, and I was also recording a pretty awesome video.)

Here’s what I came up with,

A lot of women fail to get their ex boyfriends back because they are too scared to do what is necessary to win him back

What if I told you that you would have a 100% chance of getting your ex boyfriend back if you went streaking through the mall on it’s most crowded day.

Would you do it?

streaking

Remember, there’s a 100% chance you will get him back if you do….

Ah… you wimped out.

Well, that means you aren’t getting your ex boyfriend back (not really true I am just making a point.)

The truth is that while I am not a miracle worker and I can’t guarantee that you are going to get your ex boyfriend back 100% of the time I can guarantee that my advice has worked for thousands of women AND it will raise your chances significantly to get your ex back.

And I have written entire books dedicated to the subject outlining everything that you need to do to succeed.

So, what the heck is going on?

Why are women who still coming to this website failing.

It’s because of comments like this,

Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 2.38.50 PM

And this…

Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 2.38.59 PM

These comments are riddled with words like,

  • Silent…
  • Scared…
  • Nervous…

But why?

What do these women have to be scared about?

Could it be the fear of loss?

Perhaps but haven’t they already lost their ex boyfriends?

In that case what do they have to lose?

Lets look at this logically for a minute.

Which attitude in a woman is going to lead to more success.

A silent, scared and nervous woman who is riddled with inaction?

OR

A woman with nothing to lose.

I will take the woman with nothing to lose any day of the week.

But that’s our main problem.

Most women who try to get their ex boyfriends back look at the situation like they have something to lose.

You don’t you already lost what you had to lose.

So stop acting like you have something to lose.

What’s the point of me telling you all this.

Well, when you look at trying to get an ex boyfriend back who you have religious differences with it can sometimes seem like a daunting task to succeed in and no doubt about it, it is. However, if you approach this as if you have something to lose then you will probably lose your chance for a reconciliation but if you come in with the mindset that you don’t have anything to lose then it is going to raise your chances significantly.

Hmm…

I still feel like I should say more.

Ok, I will leave you with one last analogy.

The Lioness Analogy

Lion-King

You are a lioness.

At least, I want you to get in the mindset that you are.

Fun fact, did you know that in prides the female lions (aka: lioness) do all the hunting.

Seriously the women do the hunting.

There are two reasons why,

Reason One:

lion mane

Seriously the manes of a male lion stick out so much that it makes hunting extremely difficult. In other words, when they are hiding and waiting to pounce animals will be walking by and go…

wait a minute

Reason Two:

The main role of the males is to protect the pride. They need to conserve their strength for when they have a challenger who will want to take control of the pride and sometimes that includes eating cubs.

scare vs mufasa

Anyways I got way off topic again.

(Stop me next time I do that ok.)

Here is the point.

If you were a lioness who is about to go out to hunt do you think you’d be able to catch any food being scared or nervous?

No way…

You are out there to hunt.

Not to be hunted.

How To Get Your Interfaith Ex Boyfriend Back

wisdon

Here’s a shocking statistic.

According to a poll done in a popular forum on Religion & Public Life 37% of married adults in the United States have spouses who practice a different religion than their own.

Now, I know I am making an effort to tailor my content to a more worldwide audience but this statistic was too interesting not to include.

I mean, 37%, while not the majority is still a lot of married couples.

So, how the heck are they making it work?

Well, some do and some don’t.

Remember, just because you get married doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to be with that person for life.

Divorce is still a very real threat but lets think positive here for a second.

How are the married couples who have stood the test of time with different religions making it work?

Honestly…

I think the answer lies in indifference.

The Power Of Indifference

indifference

Now, I realize that I am probably going to get off track here a bit but I think this is something you need to hear for when you get your ex boyfriend back.

(There’s that positive thinking 😉 .)

I don’t know your thoughts on your exes religion but I am going to assume that you don’t like it.

Maybe you grew up not liking it or maybe you don’t like it because it was the prime reason for your breakup.

Whatever… We are just going to assume that you don’t like his religion.

Well, when you look at the successful married couples who practice different religions I think a prime reason that they are successful lies in their indifference toward the other religion.

They have this attitude that they don’t really care much what the other believes.

Their religions beliefs have no bearing on the attraction that they feel.

Indifference can be a powerful thing.

Now, I feel I have a right to chime in here because I have a personal story to tell you about religion.

I don’t know if you can tell but I am not an overly religious person.

(Don’t crucify me… Hey… that was totally not planned I swear 😉 .)

Anyways, I am not hugely religious BUT if you were to ask me what religion I am I guess I would classify myself as Presbyterian.

Though again, I am not super religious.

I once dated a girl who was though.

And I mean SUPER religious.

The kind of religious person who would lecture me if I did something wrong that went against her beliefs.

Now, I didn’t bug me at first but after about six months into the relationship it started to.

I didn’t like the daily lectures…

I didn’t like the fact that her parents seemed to be very intrusive…

Lets stop here a moment…

Her parents were very nice people.

Don’t get me wrong… They are.

BUT they were a little too “in your face” about their religion in my opinion. In fact, I remember one time her dad voluntarily tells me that if someone held a gun to his head and that person told him to denounce Jesus he would rather take the bullet than say those words.

Little by little these things started to bug me.

But the final straw for me occurred when I get a call one day from her dad ordering me to come to his house…

Now, her dad had never called me before so I was a little alarmed by this.

“What is this about?” I asked.

“You know what it’s about… Get over here I want to talk to you.”

Holy shit…

I’m not going to lie I was a little scared.

I am not one for confrontations (her dad was obviously) but then again I am not one to be pushed around either.

What I did next was really dumb.

I got in my car and drove over there.

There he was… riding his lawnmower around his yard waiting for me.

As I got out of the car he marched up to me and pulled out a note that I had written his daughter.

In the not he pointed to the words,

“I forgive you…”

(I probably should pause to mention that I was in high school at the time where couples writing notes to each other was common practice.)

I looked at it and said,

“Okay?”

“Why the hell do you get to forgive her? What did she ever do wrong? You are the one who needs to apologize to her…”

To this day I have no idea what he meant by that.

I swear I even asked him for the note to read it so I can piece together what was wrong with his daughter saying, “I’m sorry” to me and me saying “I forgive you” but he never let me see the note.

Instead, all I heard from him was that his daughter would call me if I could recite some bible versus to her over the phone.

“What the hell?” I thought to myself.

That was it for me.

That was the moment I knew that I was going to break up with his daughter because I couldn’t take how “in your face” that family was about their religious beliefs.

Here is the point I am getting at.

I was unable to remain indifferent.

I let their religious beliefs annoy me. If I just shook it off and was able to accept it for what it was I may have fared better in that relationship (though that wasn’t the only problem.)

If you are able to get your ex boyfriend back then my best piece of advice for a long lasting relationship with your boyfriend is to try to practice some indifference. Don’t let the religion bother you that much.

Here is the general rule of thumb.

The more the religion bothers you the higher the chances that a breakup will occur.

Use The Four Step Method To Get Your Religious Ex Boyfriend Back

Go ahead and take a look at this video,

Last week I put this video together to briefly explain my core strategy for getting an ex boyfriend back.

If you watch it you will notice that the strategy is divided into four steps,

  1. The No Contact Rule
  2. Text Messages
  3. Phone Calls
  4. Dates

Now, I have written A TON about this in my books,

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

&

The Texting Bible

But for those of you who you want the quick crash course here is how the strategy works,

ex bf back strategy

So, essentially you start off with the no contact rule and then once you complete it you move on to the next step, text messages.

The process repeats from this point as after you complete the text message step (The Texting Bible) you move on to the phone call step and from there you move on to the actual dates you go on with your ex.

Notice how you slowly inch your way to the dates instead of asking for it right off the bat.

I find this is a huge problem for women as they want to skip over two whole steps after the no contact rule and jump to the dates immediately.

Every step is equally important and should be adhered to.

But does this basic game plan work if you and your ex boyfriend broke up because of religious differences?

Well, like anything when it comes to getting an ex boyfriend back yes, but since every situation is unique some things are going to have to be altered to perfectly fit your situation.

So, what’s the best strategy going forward.

I want you to adhere to the four step method BUT we are going to make some alterations to it so that it becomes tailor made for your situation.

Here are the alterations we are going to be making.

ALTERATION ONE: Find Common Ground & Compliment His Religion On It

According to estimates there are roughly 4,200 religions practiced around the world.

Now, I don’t know about you but that is a lot.

Now, all of these religions are different from each other in some way, shape or form. However, despite their differences they all have some common ground. Some core beliefs that they all agree on. I want YOU to find this common ground because we are going to use this to our advantage when you eventually establish communication with your ex.

I want to flash back to the four step game plan now.

You may be wondering,

“When exactly do I bring up the “common ground” with my ex?”

Do you see all the circled areas below?

ex bf back strategy copy

These circled areas represent all the parts of the strategy where you are going to be in touch with your ex boyfriend.

During these parts of the strategy I want you to sprinkle in little mentions of the common ground that your religion shares with your ex boyfriends religion.

How do you do this?

I am glad you asked.

Take texting for example.

At some point during your text message communications I want you to send a text like this,

common ground

So, according to this text the common ground that you are talking about here is,

Compassion and respect for everyone

Now, notice how you complimented your exes religion on his common ground.

This is really clever because it’s going to make your ex feel good about his beliefs.

But here is the cool part.

It’s that last sentence,

Mind does something similar

We are slowly breaking down the walls here by making your religion not look so scary.

It’s a way to open him up to the possibility that the two of you can be an item again.

Lets look at our next alteration.

ALTERATION TWO: Become More Knowledgeable Than Him About His Own Religion

This one is really cool but it’s going to take some time.

Luckily you have plenty of time!

“Wait, what do you mean, “I have time?”

Look at the four step strategy and the no contact rule,

ex bf back strategy copy 2

Women are always trying to figure out what they can do during the no contact rule to kill time.

Well, here’s an idea.

Why not become an expert at your exes religion?

I am going to quote from Sun Tzu who wrote, The Art Of War here,

To know your enemy you must become your enemy.

Not that your exes religion is your enemy but you get what I am going for here.

Essentially what you are doing here by researching your ex boyfriends religion is that you are giving yourself talking points for when religion is brought up during these stages of the process.

I mean, imagine the possibilities if you started talking to your ex boyfriend and you knew his own religion better than him.

Not only would you impress him with your knowledge but you would be showing him that you care about his beliefs.

ALTERATION THREE: Concessions And Compromise

The third alteration that I would like to talk about comes in the form of concessions and compromise.

I recently ran across an article by Orpah.com of all things.

(Hey don’t hate.)

Anyways, the article was all about how couples were making their interfaith relationships work and one couple had a really interesting story on how they were making their marriage work.

Good old fashioned concessions and compromise.

The couple in question here had radically different beliefs as the woman was protestant and the man (her husband) was Jewish.

Now, the husband was really intent on raising their kids Jewish and at first the woman was resistant to it. However, after some time (and a lot of fights) she decided to concede and let him raise the children Jewish.

UNDER ONE CIRCUMSTANCE…

The Circumstance = Put up a Christmas tree and observe some protestant beliefs (like Easter.)

Now, you would think that the Jewish man would be really against the Christmas tree and observing easter but strangely he was not. In fact, he started to get really into it.

So much so that he organized a local Easter egg hunt.

I think that these type of concessions and compromise have to happen in order for an interfaith relationship to stand the test of time.

But when does this alteration occur in the game plan?

Well, it actually occurs after you get your ex back.

concessions

Notice how in this graphic I have a section labeled success and then after success I have another section labeled as “your new relationship.”

Well, that section entitled “your new relationship” is meant to represent your new relationship with your ex boyfriend.

It’s at this point of the big picture that you want to make the concessions and compromise.

Think of it like the ultimate way for you safeguard your new relationship so a breakup doesn’t happen again.

Published November 30, 2015, | Modified October 25, 2016

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What Do You Think? (73)

  1. Stephanie - 0

    Stephanie

    My ex husband left me with my daughter. Due to religious differences. I was born and raised Catholic. Who tolerates and respects any religion. My ex is a Pentecostal Evangelical Christian. I personally think out religions are very similar except for the Catholic aspect. In where the saints and Virgin Mary are part of Catholicism. As well as the statues. My ex husband was always against it and also was very disrespectful towards it. I always wanted to compromise and mix both worlds with in our household. Raise our daughter to teach her both religions and for her to choose later in life. My in laws for involve a lot in trying to change my religious values and religion. My ex husband always wanted for me to change my religion. That was his way for me to show that I love him. As well as through submissiveness. He feels that a woman should obey her husband. Through obedience is how I would show my love in his eyes. Also, how he will give me his love in return. I’ve always felt that love should be given with out asking anything in return . Also respect, tolerance, kindness and trust. Due to the fact that I didn’t do as he will say. Also, because I through him to jail after hitting me. He filed for divorce. I wanted to get back with him due to the fact that I love him so much and to keep my family together. He instead through me off and feels that he could get someone better. Who is a real Christian. I tried reconnecting but he wanted for me to follow his rules. It just didn’t feel right that I’m not given a voice or the respect that I deserve. What can I do to get back my family?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Stephanie

      We dont advice going back to an abusive person. With all due respect, I know a lot of pentecostal people, they are strict but they are not like that. Real christians will not do what he did. Is he forbidding you from seeing your daughter too?

    • Stephanie - 0

      Stephanie

      Hello Amor,
      Thank you for replying back. Although, I really want my family back and wish for him to change for us. He’s with the mentality that If I don’t do as he says as far as religion and doing as he wishes
      With out questioning. There’s no going back. Due to me not being a good partner. All I ever wanted was to be an equal. With out him being superior or controlling. Thank God, I have 92% custody. He didn’t mind me being with my daughter majority of the time. Since he is in relationships. He did lie about his income. So that he pays super less than what he’s suppose. My heart also breaks down in how he tells me that that what ever girl he’s with. Is a good woman because they treat him like a King. What should I do?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      For me you should move on. If your daughter is in the same position, what would you advise her?

    • Jessica - 0

      Jessica

      We both still love each other and he thought since we couldn’t find a compromise with religion that he technically never discussed how important it really was to me he thought this was the only way and we had to end it. He has been really hurting and now I know how he feels and I did thinking I want to convert for us. But he isn’t buying it. I can’t eat sleep. I just want to speak to u since my man is different from typical. It’s not religion it’s his culture more so. He thinks I will resent him in the future and never would ask me to convert, doesnt want me to do it for him, but he never expressed how important it was to him. I go to church every sunday and he does not. That is how I know it is culture. I know many will be hurt but I love him so much and I was willing to find a compromise but non of it was good for him. He is sooo stubborn. He feels this is the only thing that we can do that it has to be over even if we love each other it isn’t enough. I am his everything etc. So Now I know this I am willing to convert even though I know many will be hurt, but right now I need to have my own happiness. I love him so much and he is my everything. I briefly said something to him but he thought because of our emotions. This was two days after we broke up. He always said that we will do this together. However he decided to make the choice on his own. He is suffering bad friends family have told me. I saw him eyes swollen etc. What can I do? It has been a week.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Jessica,

      if you don’t get back together, are you still going to convert?

  2. Sasha - 0

    Sasha

    Hi, I broke up with my BF in April 2015 due to religion differences. In between, I took a wrong step by finding a guy as rebound and he dated some girls as well. Of course, we are aware that they don’t last and we are both single now again. I have recently look up in Christianity and am keen to learn more if it means getting back with him.

    However, we do not text at all now and… I don’t really know how to get the texting started again. He mentioned before that he doesn’t allow himself to have a “patch up” after a break up so I’m not sure how to even get the texting going. We have stopped texting proper for a few months and I wonder when is a good time to move on from the NC phase?

    Pls help. I really appreciate it.

    Reply
    • Sasha - 0

      Sasha

      And to add on, he mentioned that he’s loving his single life now so I’m not sure if this is the right time to appear? He might find me annoying and obstructing his peaceful life. After all, it’s been a year plus.

      Pls respond. Really appreciate it..!

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Sasha,

      when did he say to you that he loves his single life? Are you in long distance?

    • Sasha - 0

      Sasha

      Hi! Thanks for responding. Awhile back, I wasn’t well so he texted to ask how I was. At then, we chatted abit about our mutual friend who just got married. There, he teased and asked when it was going to be my turn and I asked him the same back. That was when he told me that he wasn’t ready for any commitments at the moment and would probably stay single because he loves his single life at that moment.

    • Sasha - 0

      Sasha

      And nope! Not in long distance. Wondering if this still works because so many happened in between and it’s been slightly more than a year. He’s rather fixated so if he sets his mind to this, he’ll stick to it regardless of what happened. So if he wants to stay single, I’m not sure if anything can help me win him back.

    • Sasha - 0

      Sasha

      To be specific, he mentioned that he loves on single life in July.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Ok, well first.. How much have you improved since you last talked? Is it to the point that if he talks or sees you, he would be attracted? How much new things have you learned and explored? How many new friends have you made? If you didn’t do that, do that first. Do 30 days and then when you start initiate a text, don’t approach it as a continuation of your previous relationship. This is not a patch up. Forget the previous relationship because both of you have moved on from that. You’re just starting out as friends again and then slowly build rapport and attraction

    • Sasha - 0

      Sasha

      I don’t know what you mean by attracted. How do I know if he’s attracted to me? We still text. I have stopped texting him for very long- on and off. I’ll drop him a text once every three months. Today is the 3rd day we are texting but he isn’t keen to ask more about my day etc. I’ve improved myself, made friends and so does he. I really don’t know what step to take from here. His replies are not helping.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      oh I mean, would he find you attractive physically and intellectually? would you look like you’ve improved and moved on? or would you sound like you’re still hung up on him and trying to get him back?

      If he loves his single life, that means he has moved..So he really wont be interested in you if he doesnt want to be in a relationship now and if he doesnt find anything interesting about you or the activities that you do..

      Act from a perspective that he is somebody that you just met and you’re trying to get him attracted to you.. not somebody that you had history with.. that way you wont be expecting much from..

  3. Alexandra - 0

    Alexandra

    I am in exactly the same situation as Shiksa, I am Christian and my ex bf is Jewish. He broke up with me the second time because he realized he wants to be with a girl from his country that has been in the same situation in life like him, that shares the same values… I don’t care about religion in general, I want very much to be with him so I started the converting process, he knows about this, I sacrificed a lot for this relation, I moved from my country in Israel, I learned his language… and after 1 year and a half together he comes with this 2nd break up.. He told me I’m not for him, that he was thinking for a long time to break up, that he’s afraid about how our children will be raised etc. I started telling him that I don’t care if we’ll respect only jewish tradition, that I want to be with him because i love him unconditionally. I’m willing to climb glass walls for him! Now I started NC for 2 days (we broke up 2 weeks ago and we live in the same house), till know we didn’t see each other and he didn’t contact me at all because he have different work schedule. His family and his friends love me very much, me also and they approve the conversion, the only one who doesn’t want to fight it’s him… What should I do?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Alexandra,

      I think the real reason is the first reason you said in your first comment, when he said the problem is communication and that he thinks you don’t understand him because if it’s really religion, it doesn’t match up with what you said that you’ve always said you were open to converting. So, it looks like he’s just using that as an excuse..

      Do nc first.. Improve yourself emotionally, physically, socially and when you get to talking again, don’t bring up past issues. Just concentrate on building rapport again with him.

    • Alexandra - 0

      Alexandra

      How can I not bring up the past problems? I want to solve them… I’m really depressed because I don’t know how to communicate with him, he feels like is always thinking somewhere else, he is distracted, distant and he doesn’t express himself properly…

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      you will do that when he’s willing to listen.. ao build rapport first.. if all he wants to do is avoid talking to you and then all you want to do is bring up the problems, he will avoid you more

  4. Rachel - 0

    Rachel

    My ex is Christian. I’m a free-thinker. I’m totally cool with him being Christian though. It’s his beliefs, and I respect that. We were together for four years.

    My bf doesn’t think he’s a very staunch Christian because he sometimes skips church; seldom reads the Bible on his own etc. BUT he is adamant that his wife be Christian as well. Partly because of what the Bible says, and also because he doesn’t want what happened with his parents to happen to him as well (mum Christian, dad not, and they sometimes fought over it in front of their kids). I’d been attending church with him and learning more about Christianity but it just never appealed to me. I haven’t told him this because there never seemed to be a good opportunity to mention it, but I’m fine with raising our children (if any) as Christians.

    Two Sundays ago he broke up with me after another church session because I said I still didn’t want to convert. He said relaxing his “requirement” wasn’t something he could compromise on/do for me because Christianity helped pull him through some of his toughest times. I’m not as knowledgeable about Christianity as him, but if he can be lax towards some of its requirements, he can choose to be lax towards others too right…?

    What’s your advice on getting him back? I know he still thinks about me a lot. I may be wrong but between the two of us, I seem to be the person who fights back more to resolve our conflicts, so I wanted to know what you think I should do after the NC period. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Rachel,

      hmm.. Do you believe in God? Especially in Jesus Christ because he’s Christian? Because faith for me, is not based on religion. As long as you believe in one God, religion is just a form of practice, from many, that you choose to do.

    • Sienna - 0

      Sienna

      Hi Amor.

      I don’t believe in Jesus, but I do believe in the existence of God (which I don’t take to exclusively mean just the Christian view of God). To me, all religions are just different pathways to the same end destination. I’m sorry but I don’t really understand what you’re trying to say?

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      ok.. pretty much what you said too.. speak his language.. like, in the Bible, when God was asked he said he is “I Am”, that’s because he takes many forms.. Jesus is his one form.. as God the son.. so maybe if you tell him that even if you don’t believe in Jesus alone, you still believe there is God..

    • Sienna - 0

      Sienna

      He knows (whether he remembers is another thing) that I believe in God, because I’ve told him this before. But it didn’t seem enough for him – he still wanted me to say the Sinner’s Prayer. Do you think this is something I could try to get a compromise on (following alteration #3 of this post) if we manage to get back together? (I’m not sure he will even want me back if I don’t promise him at the outset that I will convert though. :/ we got along VERY WELL for everything EXCEPT religion…)

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      It’s his deal breaker, so I think it would help but you have to decide if you’re really going to convert for him because if not, he would be really angry if he finds out you’re pretending.

    • Sienna - 0

      Sienna

      I agree with what you say. I’m taking a step back to think what I really want for myself. I don’t like the idea of faking things either. It’s hard, sigh :/ Thank you for taking the time to respond to my questions.

    • Sienna - 0

      Sienna

      So…my ex and I reconnected after I told him I’d decided to convert. We both still have a lot of love for each other and while he said he wanted to continue the relationship, he wanted to give me some space and time first to explore more about Christianity – several weeks or a few months.

      I guess he’s doing this because he doesn’t want me to convert for the sole purpose of getting back with him but because I really believe. I understand this. I’m just wondering what he means by giving me space and time? Does it mean I should be doing a full NC period (for how long?) or am I allowed to text him every now and then (and if so, about what?). He did say I could text him if I needed anything from him but other than that I’m not sure when it would be appropriate for me to reach out with him.

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      I think what he means is for you to prove if you really are converting while he’s not by your side

  5. Jet - 0

    Jet

    Hi Chris,
    My ex is an evangelical christian and i am non-catholic, he broke up with me when we still in love with each other. He said to me that God want us to stop. I mean i respect his religious but i don’t get it why he want to break up because he believe god told him to do so. He also said that if i contact him, all i get will be his silent. We’ve broke up for two weeks and now i’m trying the no contact plan and start reading bible, but what i afraid is if i texting him again he will keep silent then i’ll have no chance to get him back. Do you have any advice? Thank you!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Jet,

      were you two too intimate for him?

    • Jet - 0

      Jet

      Hi Amor,
      Yes i think we were because when we were together we shared everything with each other. We’ve met and be friends for 5 years and just get to know each other for a year. He said he still love me but just get back with me only if God let him to do so. I mean i can not understand the reason for that, i just know that since i began to fall in love with him, he was a very important part of me that i can not leave him like that.

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      ok, I don’t how God will let him know it’s ok to date now but what you can do is to take it slow, and continue to be present, and just avoid being too intimate with him.. If he sees you’re compatible then he might stay but with his beliefs, you can’t force him or don’t rush it.. He will just think you’re going against God’s will.. Maybe he believes that if God chooses you for him, there would be no rush.

    • Jet - 0

      Jet

      Ok thank you may be i’ll wait for him.
      I thank that ‘s all i can do now

  6. nicole - 0

    nicole

    Hi Amor
    My ex boyfriend and I were in a LDR for 3 months before he broke up with me. Our relationship was absolutely amazing, he was caring and funny and sweet and he honestly respected our relationship. He told his brother's and friends about me right at the beginning of our relationship and they all loved me and still do.he and I would talk about a future together and funny enough henever shyed away from the topic of marriage and babies he was ready to spend the rest of his life with be a d he did say it multiple times. ( I'm 18 and he is 21) i luv in south Africa and he lives in Azerbaijan. I'm Christian and he is Muslim, but he sees no problems with our religious differences. He was preparing to visit me in July and I started planning everything which made me so happy. He was so keen on spending the rest of his life with me that he picked out baby names and everyone I knew thought he wound propose to me when he came in July even tough it was still early in our relationship. He respected our relationship and I would say he listened to everything I say all the time. The only people unaware of our relationship were his parents (very traditional ). Out of the blue he started acting cold one saturday and I asked him why and hesaid bbecause he was with his parents and they told him to break up with me when he told them about me. He said they didn't want us together because of the distance and because they prefer he married a girl from Azerbaijan. This whole issue shattered me. I asked him if he wanted to break up and he said no because im the one he loves and wants to be with but at the same time he didn't want to disobey his parents ( he is the last child and still lives with them). It was so difficult it took him 3 days to decide if he wanted to break up with me. I was so shattered and I've never felt this way a out a guy before, past relationships never affected me at all I'd simply move on but with him I feel he is the one and is my soul mate. I love him and I don't know why he did t fight hard for our relationship. He checked up on him a few days later asking if he is happy and ok a d he said no because he wasn't with me. We spoke for a few days but he became so old and distant answering me in one word answers but when i asked him if he found a new girlfriend he said I he couldn't move on and that was the first time in a week he asked if i was with someone. It seemed like he was too eager to hear me say no that I haven't. I begged him to fight and he said no he couldn't do it and the he said we had broken up that we shouldn't speak. Does he love me? Why did he becme so cold and distant after i asked him if he loved me and he said yes? Why didn't he fight for our relationship? Do you think he is lying and there's another reason to it? Maybe like religion or my race And how do I get him back. I just started the nc and I'm a week in. I really would appreciate all the help I can get because I don't want it to be a situation where I say he was the one that got away

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Nicole,

      I think he’s telling the truth and his parents is pressuring him to break ip with you and he’s not capable yet to take a stand on what he wants because he still lives with them.. and then you’re ldr also.. give him space..let’s see if he changes his mind once he missed you

    • nicole - 0

      nicole

      Thank you Amor. But what if he doesn’t miss me? What do I do? Because as of right now he acts as if nothing happened and as if he is perfectly fine and not hurt.

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      we don’t know if he won’t miss you but if he doesn’t show it, then that means he stands by his decision and you have to move on.

  7. Gina - 0

    Gina

    Hello – I feel that everything was going perfectly for around two months until I mentioned that I want to bring up my kids in my faith (he is atheist). He immediately said that this is a big deal, Pointed out that we are still getting to know each other (is not committed) and everything went downhill from there – he started disappearing and we were on off for another couple of months until he stopped contact altogether. My questions are, if he never considered the relationship a committed one, will the no contact rule still work? And, is there still a chance of recovery? Thank you

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Gina,

      hmm..when did you break up and when was the last time you spoke and did you mean you would bring your kids to the same belief of atheism?

    • Gina - 0

      Gina

      Hi. Sorry I wasn’t clear. We had been dating for around two months when I mentioned that if one day I have kids I would want to baptise them. (He is a complete atheist). This made him panic… We continued dating for two months but he kept saying this is an issue he would have to think about, contacted me less and less, and finally stopped all contact a week ago. I have not contacted him since.

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      one last question, it means he doesn’t want to talk about kids now or is it more because you have different beliefs?

    • Gina - 0

      Gina

      He did mention that it was too early to talk about children (I explained to him that I wasn’t implying I want kids with him, I was just saying that when I have kids in the future I would want them baptised) but his main problem was that he wasnt comfortable with the idea of baptising his children. Thank you for your help Amor..

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      awww.. I haven’t even helped you yet..
      Nc can increase the chance for him to miss you, especially of he sees that you’re moving on..

    • Gina - 0

      Gina

      Amor – sorry but one more question – he finally communicated (after a week) saying that he has been very busy at work – since we do not officially brake up but he disappeared, do you think I have to text him that it is over and THEN start no contact or do I continue no contact since last week? So many thanks

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      wait.. his disappearance started last week? So, for a full week he has been so busy not to text.. tricky, tricky, tricky.. for me don’t break up..but to make it clear first.. he disappeared in texting for a week and you started no contact immediately right? Or he has long been not texting you, and you texted him last week but he didn’t reply?

    • Gina - 0

      Gina

      No, you got it, his disappearance started a week ago (on the Friday before Valentine’s day) and he didn’t text until a week later (I applied no contact in the meantime). Problem is, he has disappeared before, and i warned him that it would be the last time if he did it again… I am just wondering if the no contact rule is equally effective after a disappearance, or if there must be a clear break up before we start applying it (in order for it to be effective). I really appreciate your help!

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Well, it depends in every case but with you, even if you didn’t break up, I think he will understand because, hello… he didn’t message you for one week..

  8. andal - 0

    andal

    we broke up as we are of different culture and my boyfriend family members wont accept it .. and he doesnt wana go against his family …. so is der any way to get a solution for it and get him back

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Andal,
      how old are you two? that depends if you’re willing to abide by their culture.

  9. Rose - 0

    Rose

    Hi Chris,

    I’ve read you articles and tried to follow your advice as much as possible but, I’m having a difficult time doing so bc my situation is unique. My ex and I spilt almost a year and half ago but, during that time I was pregnant and eventually gave birth to our son. We did have a few times were we tried to make it work or our feelings reingnted. Well, we moved in together after the baby was released from the hospital and are still living together even though we are not in a committed and official relationship. We live together due to financial and circumstantial issues. We have separate rooms btw. As you can see it’s hard for me to put the NC rule into place also he converted to a new religion during our break up and is possibly interested (romantically) in our mutual friend who recently just converted to his religion as well. But, I don’t know if his interest in her is true bc originally he said he wasn’t and he may have said it to make me jealous, etc. What kind of advice can you give being in this situation?

    Reply
  10. Lauren - 0

    Lauren

    Hi Mr. Seiter,
    I’m in desperate need of advice. My boy and I were together for 7 months. We are going to graduate high school this coming summer, then he will leave on a mission for two years in June (he is Mormon). Before I knew him, I was friends with his younger sister, so naturally I’ve become very close to his family and love them all dearly. Once summer came to a close, our relationship got strained; he is very busy helping out with all the kids in his family and all of his other commitments. Yet we kept the spark alive and tried to spend some quality time together about once a week. We’d always agreed from the beginning that we wouldn’t jump into a serious relationship and still go on dates with other people, (which I did more than him), and we maintained that premise until the end. About 3 weeks ago, he came over to spend some time and meet my grandparents who were in town. Later that night, he ended the relationship over text. We got together the next day to talk it out, and it was just terrible. He was adamant that we remain close and still be best friends, but without the romance. He felt we had gotten to be too serious, and he didn’t want that. He claims that if we were in any other stage of our lives, we would continue dating and that we’d date when he gets back from his mission. He actually cried more than I did when we talked, which just confuses me more. Anyway, he still invites me to church and other family activities, which is great because I still get to see him, but hard because I want a relationship back. I didn’t realize it until the relationship ended, but I really love this boy and could see myself being extremely happy with him and his family in the future. But I don’t know how to keep him around, especially if we aren’t in somewhat of a romantic stage when he leaves for his mission in 6 months. I don’t know what happened to make him suddenly feel we were too serious, if anything we were more serious over the summer when we saw each other all the time. I’ve continued to do small things like church services and I tutored him for the ACT, but they’ve remained fairly platonic. What should I do?

    Reply
  11. Nina - 0

    Nina

    “Sounds like a rebound girl to me.
    Define weaker and fragile for me.”

    weaker and fragile in a way that the girl has health problems, is depressed, has little friends, has very low self esteem (as she lacks talents), and (trust me this is not a biased judgment. trust me on this) is far from being the ungettable girl. she also seems to have a lot of life problems (which i don’t know the details about). She also seems flirty in the dependent yet subtle way (“I need you here”). We broke up because I felt a little cheated on because he seems to be caring more or sweeter to this little girl (she hasn’t reached her 20’s yet. Me and my ex are close to our mid 20’s) and he’s been cold and ignoring to me. Soo that leads to my question.

    Reply
  12. Joanna - 0

    Joanna

    Hi Chris 🙂
    I have followed all of your advice, and recently suggested meeting up for a coffee with my ex. He seemed to be fine with the idea of meeting up at some point but he said he wasn’t ready yet because he still felt nervous talking to me and he had butterflies hearing from me. I never mentioned anything about the relationship or break up when we spoke, but he mentioned how he had buried himself in work to deal with it all.

    He ended the relationship (it was 3yrs) and we broke up 2 1/2 months ago. I last spoke to him 2 weeks ago which is when I suggested the coffee. He said he would contact me when he is ready to meet.
    What do I do now? I don’t want to message again as I feel the ball is in his court…but what if he never initiates anything?

    Thank you so much for all of your help on the site!

    Reply
    • Joanna - 0

      Joanna

      Oh, just to add, this isn’t related to the religious differences.

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      Chris Seiter

      Ok, just take a few steps back and build up more attraction so that it’s impossible for him to say no to a coffee date.

  13. Nina - 0

    Nina

    Hello Chris! Just want to tell you that I was happy when you started releasing videos! One of the things I like about you is your voice because the way you talk has been professional and comforting in podcasts so it’s nice to see you in action in a video where we can see you 🙂

    I have a few questions: What to do if an ex left you for a “simpler” or more insecure/less confident girl with life problems? I know your guide tells women to be waaaay awesome but doesn’t this push your ex away more if he likes it better with “weaker/more fragile” women? I have a hard time explaining this but how do we make an appeal to them like become attractive again without making them feel that we are “out of their league” or “we are too independent women that dont need them”? Please help me understand

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      Chris Seiter

      Haha thanks Nina!

      Sounds like a rebound girl to me.

      Define weaker and fragile for me.

    • Nina - 0

      Nina

      uhm… did you get my reply to your inquiry?

  14. ankk - 0

    ankk

    Hi Chris, I will like to RECOMMEND you to write on those TYPES OF GUYS “who leave his girl(2 year relationship) for another girl-dating for 5 months and come back.. and stay with his initial girl (2years relationship) for about three months and again goes back to his same another girl.
    I’M WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONSE.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      Chris Seiter

      Say that again for me. I got lost trying to dissect that.

  15. Beth - 0

    Beth

    This is not directly related, but maybe something that could be useful.

    Could you maybe write about the influence of other people?
    You see, the same way a guy´s Jewish father may put pressure on to his son to break up with his catholic girlfriend and end up succeeding, others can influence you, or your ex, right?

    I mean, for example, if I´ve been doing great during my NC period, but his mom loved me so much, and keeps nagging him into calling me and all, wouldn´t that backfire? I mean, wouldn´t he keep associating the nagging with me, even if I´m not the one doing it? What should we tell to relatives that have the best intentions, but maybe not the best strategies?

    Also, what do we do about the friends who maybe never liked you, and in his joy, is doing his best to make your ex hate you?

    Is there a way to handle that? I mean, I know I won´t be contacting his friend who hates me, but should I cut ties with his family? explain the situation to them? I got to know and love his family too, can I contact the family during no contact? Maybe wish them a happy birthday? or how do we handle that?

    Thankyou

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      Chris Seiter

      Thats true… I did write something about disapproving friends and family before. Did you read that by any chance?

  16. Adélaïde - 0

    Adélaïde

    Ooops very sorry i made a mistake! Sorry Shiksa!!

    Reply
  17. Sarah - 0

    Sarah

    Hi Chris, nothing to do with the current video, but I’m wondering if you’d consider doing something about getting an ex back when you’re way more successful professionally than him. Men seem to be so sensitive about this, especially when they’re going through a bad patch, and it’s an issue for me and so many of my friends. Even though we don’t care the guys do, and it causes all kinds of issues during relationships and results in breakups. I know you probably have a long list but I’m sure there would be a lot of interest in this. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      Chris Seiter

      Awesome idea…

      I think I could write a post about this.

  18. Adélaïde - 0

    Adélaïde

    Hi Chris!
    Its the french reader!
    In fact I am the ex with religious differences.
    My ex isnt religious but when he saw how convinced I am he kind of stated that it wouldnt Work.
    My ex isnt optimist at all and tends To stops thing if there’s a problem without trying to think throught. As for marriage, due to his parents divorce he doesnt see it as a step bu just a fformality. “When we will have spend 10/20 years together and have children”.. when he will be sure that its working.
    So I dont think he would be the kind To take time and think about it.
    How can I convince him To do this?
    Im quite sure that we would be happy together but he doesnt want To try because of that…
    My NC is stopping at the week’s end! I didnt not fail!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      Chris Seiter

      When it comes to religion I don’t think you have the power to change his mind only yours. Can you deal with him not having the same religion as you? I think you should cut your losses with him. I’ve seen enough to know that this guy will not be very likely to get married to you. You will waste your time if that is what you really want.

      If you still want him back, after no contact send him a text to see if he is interested but don’t bring up anything about religion. Keep it light and interesting.

  19. Shiksa - 0

    Shiksa

    My ex-boyfriend is Jewish, and it was one of the reasons he broke up with me (ONE of the reasons). His dad didn’t think he and I would work out because I wasn’t Jewish, and I believe his dad talked him towards the breakup. I have never been very religious, and I told him I’d be happy to raise our family Jewish, but I was unsure about converting myself. My parents think less of someone who has ANY religion, and I was afraid of converting in the past, because I am a very prideful person. Since the breakup, I have decided to convert. Not to get him back, but for me. It’s a very long process, and I’m worried that it will be too late by the time he finds out. I had to restart no contact yesterday, and he’s going to be out of town for two months starting in two weeks. I’ve started learning Hebrew, and I already have a pretty good knowledge of Judaism. I’m planning on completing no contact, and casually letting it slip that I was converting once we start talking again. Does that plan sound like it might work?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      Chris Seiter

      I know that you can be accepted if you convert but it is a big choice to make. You would have to do A LOT to become Jewish. You would have to see if his parents are orthodox or if you have a chance. Does he know you are willing and working towards becoming Jewish? Did you have that discussion before? I think you might want to be a little more forward with this one and tell him you are converting sooner. But let me know know some of the details first. If the only reason you broke up was because of religion.

    • Adélaïde - 0

      Adélaïde

      Oh Im Christian and he’s kind of an atheist. He simply hates religions because he thinks that they’re bad and influence people and not honest. And truth is I understand his point of view a lot… we share a lot of things in common but he doesnt want To hear about it.
      He broke up cause he didnt see our relationship evolve. He was scared that being with him would cause me pain. That because he doesnt share my faith I would be sad with him.
      I also kind of put pressure on him as I was very agressive when talking about beliefs.But I have now a tottaly different vision and am much more calm when talkin about these things. I just want to… make him see that my religion is not something to be afraid of.
      He told me he didnt love me enough to make changes in his life. But it was only 3 months so…

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      Chris Seiter

      Ya I think a lot of it comes down to how you discuss these things. If you were a little too in your face with it then it can scare a man off but if you are clam and kind of pick your moments he can respond very positively.

    • Shiksa - 0

      Shiksa

      He broke up with me for a few reasons (fighting over his too much time working, me not having much self confidence, etc.), but one of the biggest was religion, I think. He’s being very cold and when I was talking to him, I felt like he wanted nothing more than to ignore me (which he ended up doing). I made the mistake of being too emotional after the breakup, but I pulled myself together after a couple days. You said I should let him know of my plans soon, so do you think I should not do no contact?

    • Shiksa - 0

      Shiksa

      And I am well aware of the difficulty of converting. I have always been drawn to the Jewish community, and participated in it often throughout my life, but I have never truly believed in God until after the breakup (it made me rethink my life in a lot of ways). I am willing to go through the process in its entirety, with or without him by my side. That being said, I want him back more than almost anything, and I think that by beginning my conversion, he’ll see that I am truly willing to work on our issues in our )hopefully) new relationship.

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