Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what the most popular reasons for a breakup are?
Well, since I deal with breakups daily (through this site) I am probably the guy to ask.
Common reasons include,
Fighting too much…
Different maturity levels…
You probably did a double take on that last one, huh?
Well it’s true…
I can’t tell you how many stories I have heard on this site about religious differences in couples causing a breakup.
Still don’t believe me.
Fine, allow me to give you a real time example,
I want you to take note of the underlined area.
This woman loved her ex boyfriend so much that she was willing to convert religions for him.
Oh, and in case you are wondering it took me a whole 5 minutes to locate this comment.
All I did was pick a random article and scrolled down until I found something relating to religion and then took a screenshot of that comment.
Whether we like to admit it or not religious differences can play a huge role in breakups.
Now, I am going to tell you something really interesting about Ex Boyfriend Recovery that I have never told you before.
I am an American so I write for an American audience. However, one thing that is becoming clearer and clearer to me is the fact that the amount of visitors who come from the United States is lessening. In fact, I estimate that if things continue on the trend that they are currently on the traffic that I get to this website from the US will make up only around 30%. The rest of the world will make up 70%.
Right now the U.S. is at 47%,
What’s the point of me telling you this?
Well, it’s partly to brag that I am one hell of a popular guy around the world 😉 .
But the other point is to tell you that pretty soon I am going to have to start tailoring my content to a worldwide audience and one thing I have noticed is that a lot of the questions I get about religion come from outside the United States.
So, I have my work cut out for me in learning about other cultures.
I mean, as an American I can only speak for myself but I think that we overlook religious differences in relationships in America more than other countries.
(But trust me when I say that religion can come between any relationship even in America.)
Nevertheless, I am getting off topic here.
If you and your ex boyfriend broke up due to religious differences you are in quite the dilemma.
The Dilemma You Are In
Lets take a moment and talk about religious belief.
More specifically, when the average human being (across the world) starts to develop their belief in a higher power.
Let me throw it to you.
When do you think human beings start developing their beliefs about religion?
When they are young?
When they are teens?
When they are adults?
For most humans, it happens at a very young age.
As a child, I remember my mother trying to get me to go to Sunday school where they taught children about the Bible. But at a young age I never wanted to go. In fact, I would often try to sleep in on purpose in an effort to miss it so I could do what I wanted.
Of course, I always ended up going because, after all, she was my mother and I had to obey her.
And that leads me to my next point.
Most human beings get their religious beliefs from their parents.
In other words, if a parent is a hardcore Catholic then most likely the parents children will be Catholic. So, lets do a little role playing for a minute and pretend that your ex boyfriend is part of a religion that hates people with blue eyes.
And of course, you have blue eyes.
(Don’t feel bad I do too!)
Well, if your ex boyfriend was taught his entire life by his religion to avoid blue eyed people at all costs and he broke up with you because of your blue eyes then you are in quite the pickle.
I mean, how do you get someone back who his entire life was taught to run from people with blue eyes?
And therein lies our dilemma with religion.
It is EXTREMELY hard to convince someone to go against their wiring. Because lets face it, if you are dating a man who is very into religion then it’s almost like it makes him who he is. He relies on it for how to live his life and definitely who to date.
How do you overcome that?
It’s almost like trying to convince someone that the sky is blue when they were taught their entire lives that the sky was actually purple.
Getting an interfaith relationship back is no easy task.
And that leads me to my next point.
The Goal Of This Guide
The goal of this guide is to help you get your ex boyfriend back if you broke up due to religious differences.
You know what that means?
It means that I am approaching this with an assumption.
The Assumption = You and your ex broke up due to religious differences.
Now, since religion is going to be talked about a lot here I want to make sure that I mention that the goal of this guide is to not berate anyone’s beliefs. So, if you are a Catholic who is looking for me to make some horrible statements about a Jewish person then you have another thing coming. This guide is meant to be used to help you reunite with someone you love.
It isn’t meant to incite any type of anger or hard feelings.
In other words, when you read this I want you to put your personal beliefs about your ex boyfriends religious beliefs vs your religious beliefs aside.
We need to look at this in a very logical manner and the funny thing about religions is that they cause people to be highly emotional.
So, that’s my little disclaimer.
Are you read to jump in?
Come On Chris… Can Religion Really Cause Breakups?
You bet your ass it can!
I am trying to think of a really good way that I can drive this point home.
Lets imagine that you met your dream man and after a few years of dating he got down on one knee and proposed to you.
All your problems are solved.
You see, he is Jewish and you are Catholic.
LETS PAUSE FOR A MOMENT
Now, if you aren’t exactly well informed these two religious beliefs clash due to whether or not the Jews crucified Jesus.
I don’t want to get too detailed here because I am a little ignorant on the technicalities but the point I am trying to make is that generally speaking these two religions don’t get along.
OK, LETS UN-PAUSE NOW
Religion often is at the root of a lot of the arguments that the two of you get in during your marriage.
For example, he insists that your children will not grow up Catholic.
This is something that you take offense to due to his tone when he says it.
(There is a negative connotation behind the way he says “Catholic.”)
Eventually you come to the realization that he is going to stand firm behind his beliefs so you give in and allow him to dictate your children’s religious beliefs. Of course, you want there to be a compromise so you ask if he will at least allow your children to be baptized.
The mere mention of this causes the biggest fight of your marriage.
Religion can cause breakups.
Still not sold?
Ok, lets try to look at it a different way.
Of all the horrible violent acts that have occurred in the last twenty years there is one that seems to stand out above them all.
Without any religious beliefs many have argued that there would have been no 9/11 attacks and as much as I hate to admit it… I agree.
I honestly think that religious beliefs played a huge role in those attacks.
But lets not limit this to just the United States here (worldwide audience remember?)
I want you to look around at the history of the world.
How many wars were caused due to religious beliefs?
One immediately springs to mind for me.
If you don’t know what the Crusades is then allow me to educate you.
Crusades is just a title for the multiple religious wars and fights that were fought between the Muslims and Christians due to the religious disputes and controls over land in the Jerusalem.
Wow… I just realized we got way off topic here.
I mean, you came here to learn about your ex boyfriend and not get a history lesson from me.
Here is my point.
If religion can cause men and women to go to war then it’s not too far fetched to believe that it can trigger something as small as a breakup.
But something tells me you have already arrived that this conclusion.
What you are wondering is if it’s even possible to succeed in getting an interfaith relationship back.
Is It Even Possible To Succeed In Getting Your Interfaith Relationship Back?
Do you want the short answer or the long answer?
How about both.
The Short Answer
The Long Answer
How can I put this.
Ok, like I said above I am going to go ahead and assume that you and your ex boyfriend broke up due to religious differences so you have that working against you.
And then you add in the fact that most women fail to get their ex boyfriends back in general and you can understand why this is one of the rarer cases of success.
With that being said it’s definitely not impossible.
In fact, it’s very possible to succeed so don’t psyche yourself out just yet.
I kind of want to step back from the religious talk for a moment and talk about why most women fail to get their ex boyfriends back.
Now, I am going to be the first to admit that it kills me to say that.
In fact, my own father, who has turned into a super fan of Ex Boyfriend Recovery is always telling me to stay positive and try not to say statements like,
Most women fail to get their ex boyfriends back.
It’s the truth though.
Most women do fail to win back their ex boyfriends.
But have you ever asked yourself why?
I have thought a lot about this for the past week (notice I haven’t written a massive guide like this in a week and it’s because I was re-evaluating my own beliefs on getting an ex back. Oh, and I was also recording a pretty awesome video.)
Here’s what I came up with,
A lot of women fail to get their ex boyfriends back because they are too scared to do what is necessary to win him back
What if I told you that you would have a 100% chance of getting your ex boyfriend back if you went streaking through the mall on it’s most crowded day.
Would you do it?
Remember, there’s a 100% chance you will get him back if you do….
Ah… you wimped out.
Well, that means you aren’t getting your ex boyfriend back (not really true I am just making a point.)
The truth is that while I am not a miracle worker and I can’t guarantee that you are going to get your ex boyfriend back 100% of the time I can guarantee that my advice has worked for thousands of women AND it will raise your chances significantly to get your ex back.
And I have written entire books dedicated to the subject outlining everything that you need to do to succeed.
So, what the heck is going on?
Why are women who still coming to this website failing.
It’s because of comments like this,
These comments are riddled with words like,
What do these women have to be scared about?
Could it be the fear of loss?
Perhaps but haven’t they already lost their ex boyfriends?
In that case what do they have to lose?
Lets look at this logically for a minute.
Which attitude in a woman is going to lead to more success.
A silent, scared and nervous woman who is riddled with inaction?
A woman with nothing to lose.
I will take the woman with nothing to lose any day of the week.
But that’s our main problem.
Most women who try to get their ex boyfriends back look at the situation like they have something to lose.
You don’t you already lost what you had to lose.
So stop acting like you have something to lose.
What’s the point of me telling you all this.
Well, when you look at trying to get an ex boyfriend back who you have religious differences with it can sometimes seem like a daunting task to succeed in and no doubt about it, it is. However, if you approach this as if you have something to lose then you will probably lose your chance for a reconciliation but if you come in with the mindset that you don’t have anything to lose then it is going to raise your chances significantly.
I still feel like I should say more.
Ok, I will leave you with one last analogy.
The Lioness Analogy
You are a lioness.
At least, I want you to get in the mindset that you are.
Fun fact, did you know that in prides the female lions (aka: lioness) do all the hunting.
Seriously the women do the hunting.
There are two reasons why,
Seriously the manes of a male lion stick out so much that it makes hunting extremely difficult. In other words, when they are hiding and waiting to pounce animals will be walking by and go…
The main role of the males is to protect the pride. They need to conserve their strength for when they have a challenger who will want to take control of the pride and sometimes that includes eating cubs.
Anyways I got way off topic again.
(Stop me next time I do that ok.)
Here is the point.
If you were a lioness who is about to go out to hunt do you think you’d be able to catch any food being scared or nervous?
You are out there to hunt.
Not to be hunted.
How To Get Your Interfaith Ex Boyfriend Back
Here’s a shocking statistic.
According to a poll done in a popular forum on Religion & Public Life 37% of married adults in the United States have spouses who practice a different religion than their own.
Now, I know I am making an effort to tailor my content to a more worldwide audience but this statistic was too interesting not to include.
I mean, 37%, while not the majority is still a lot of married couples.
So, how the heck are they making it work?
Well, some do and some don’t.
Remember, just because you get married doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to be with that person for life.
Divorce is still a very real threat but lets think positive here for a second.
How are the married couples who have stood the test of time with different religions making it work?
I think the answer lies in indifference.
The Power Of Indifference
Now, I realize that I am probably going to get off track here a bit but I think this is something you need to hear for when you get your ex boyfriend back.
(There’s that positive thinking 😉 .)
I don’t know your thoughts on your exes religion but I am going to assume that you don’t like it.
Maybe you grew up not liking it or maybe you don’t like it because it was the prime reason for your breakup.
Whatever… We are just going to assume that you don’t like his religion.
Well, when you look at the successful married couples who practice different religions I think a prime reason that they are successful lies in their indifference toward the other religion.
They have this attitude that they don’t really care much what the other believes.
Their religions beliefs have no bearing on the attraction that they feel.
Indifference can be a powerful thing.
Now, I feel I have a right to chime in here because I have a personal story to tell you about religion.
I don’t know if you can tell but I am not an overly religious person.
(Don’t crucify me… Hey… that was totally not planned I swear 😉 .)
Anyways, I am not hugely religious BUT if you were to ask me what religion I am I guess I would classify myself as Presbyterian.
Though again, I am not super religious.
I once dated a girl who was though.
And I mean SUPER religious.
The kind of religious person who would lecture me if I did something wrong that went against her beliefs.
Now, I didn’t bug me at first but after about six months into the relationship it started to.
I didn’t like the daily lectures…
I didn’t like the fact that her parents seemed to be very intrusive…
Lets stop here a moment…
Her parents were very nice people.
Don’t get me wrong… They are.
BUT they were a little too “in your face” about their religion in my opinion. In fact, I remember one time her dad voluntarily tells me that if someone held a gun to his head and that person told him to denounce Jesus he would rather take the bullet than say those words.
Little by little these things started to bug me.
But the final straw for me occurred when I get a call one day from her dad ordering me to come to his house…
Now, her dad had never called me before so I was a little alarmed by this.
“What is this about?” I asked.
“You know what it’s about… Get over here I want to talk to you.”
I’m not going to lie I was a little scared.
I am not one for confrontations (her dad was obviously) but then again I am not one to be pushed around either.
What I did next was really dumb.
I got in my car and drove over there.
There he was… riding his lawnmower around his yard waiting for me.
As I got out of the car he marched up to me and pulled out a note that I had written his daughter.
In the not he pointed to the words,
“I forgive you…”
(I probably should pause to mention that I was in high school at the time where couples writing notes to each other was common practice.)
I looked at it and said,
“Why the hell do you get to forgive her? What did she ever do wrong? You are the one who needs to apologize to her…”
To this day I have no idea what he meant by that.
I swear I even asked him for the note to read it so I can piece together what was wrong with his daughter saying, “I’m sorry” to me and me saying “I forgive you” but he never let me see the note.
Instead, all I heard from him was that his daughter would call me if I could recite some bible versus to her over the phone.
“What the hell?” I thought to myself.
That was it for me.
That was the moment I knew that I was going to break up with his daughter because I couldn’t take how “in your face” that family was about their religious beliefs.
Here is the point I am getting at.
I was unable to remain indifferent.
I let their religious beliefs annoy me. If I just shook it off and was able to accept it for what it was I may have fared better in that relationship (though that wasn’t the only problem.)
If you are able to get your ex boyfriend back then my best piece of advice for a long lasting relationship with your boyfriend is to try to practice some indifference. Don’t let the religion bother you that much.
Here is the general rule of thumb.
The more the religion bothers you the higher the chances that a breakup will occur.
Use The Four Step Method To Get Your Religious Ex Boyfriend Back
Go ahead and take a look at this video,
Last week I put this video together to briefly explain my core strategy for getting an ex boyfriend back.
If you watch it you will notice that the strategy is divided into four steps,
- The No Contact Rule
- Text Messages
- Phone Calls
Now, I have written A TON about this in my books,
But for those of you who you want the quick crash course here is how the strategy works,
So, essentially you start off with the no contact rule and then once you complete it you move on to the next step, text messages.
The process repeats from this point as after you complete the text message step (The Texting Bible) you move on to the phone call step and from there you move on to the actual dates you go on with your ex.
Notice how you slowly inch your way to the dates instead of asking for it right off the bat.
I find this is a huge problem for women as they want to skip over two whole steps after the no contact rule and jump to the dates immediately.
Every step is equally important and should be adhered to.
But does this basic game plan work if you and your ex boyfriend broke up because of religious differences?
Well, like anything when it comes to getting an ex boyfriend back yes, but since every situation is unique some things are going to have to be altered to perfectly fit your situation.
So, what’s the best strategy going forward.
I want you to adhere to the four step method BUT we are going to make some alterations to it so that it becomes tailor made for your situation.
Here are the alterations we are going to be making.
ALTERATION ONE: Find Common Ground & Compliment His Religion On It
According to estimates there are roughly 4,200 religions practiced around the world.
Now, I don’t know about you but that is a lot.
Now, all of these religions are different from each other in some way, shape or form. However, despite their differences they all have some common ground. Some core beliefs that they all agree on. I want YOU to find this common ground because we are going to use this to our advantage when you eventually establish communication with your ex.
I want to flash back to the four step game plan now.
You may be wondering,
“When exactly do I bring up the “common ground” with my ex?”
Do you see all the circled areas below?
These circled areas represent all the parts of the strategy where you are going to be in touch with your ex boyfriend.
During these parts of the strategy I want you to sprinkle in little mentions of the common ground that your religion shares with your ex boyfriends religion.
How do you do this?
I am glad you asked.
Take texting for example.
At some point during your text message communications I want you to send a text like this,
So, according to this text the common ground that you are talking about here is,
Compassion and respect for everyone
Now, notice how you complimented your exes religion on his common ground.
This is really clever because it’s going to make your ex feel good about his beliefs.
But here is the cool part.
It’s that last sentence,
Mind does something similar
We are slowly breaking down the walls here by making your religion not look so scary.
It’s a way to open him up to the possibility that the two of you can be an item again.
Lets look at our next alteration.
ALTERATION TWO: Become More Knowledgeable Than Him About His Own Religion
This one is really cool but it’s going to take some time.
Luckily you have plenty of time!
“Wait, what do you mean, “I have time?”
Look at the four step strategy and the no contact rule,
Women are always trying to figure out what they can do during the no contact rule to kill time.
Well, here’s an idea.
Why not become an expert at your exes religion?
I am going to quote from Sun Tzu who wrote, The Art Of War here,
To know your enemy you must become your enemy.
Not that your exes religion is your enemy but you get what I am going for here.
Essentially what you are doing here by researching your ex boyfriends religion is that you are giving yourself talking points for when religion is brought up during these stages of the process.
I mean, imagine the possibilities if you started talking to your ex boyfriend and you knew his own religion better than him.
Not only would you impress him with your knowledge but you would be showing him that you care about his beliefs.
ALTERATION THREE: Concessions And Compromise
The third alteration that I would like to talk about comes in the form of concessions and compromise.
I recently ran across an article by Orpah.com of all things.
(Hey don’t hate.)
Anyways, the article was all about how couples were making their interfaith relationships work and one couple had a really interesting story on how they were making their marriage work.
Good old fashioned concessions and compromise.
The couple in question here had radically different beliefs as the woman was protestant and the man (her husband) was Jewish.
Now, the husband was really intent on raising their kids Jewish and at first the woman was resistant to it. However, after some time (and a lot of fights) she decided to concede and let him raise the children Jewish.
UNDER ONE CIRCUMSTANCE…
The Circumstance = Put up a Christmas tree and observe some protestant beliefs (like Easter.)
Now, you would think that the Jewish man would be really against the Christmas tree and observing easter but strangely he was not. In fact, he started to get really into it.
So much so that he organized a local Easter egg hunt.
I think that these type of concessions and compromise have to happen in order for an interfaith relationship to stand the test of time.
But when does this alteration occur in the game plan?
Well, it actually occurs after you get your ex back.
Notice how in this graphic I have a section labeled success and then after success I have another section labeled as “your new relationship.”
Well, that section entitled “your new relationship” is meant to represent your new relationship with your ex boyfriend.
It’s at this point of the big picture that you want to make the concessions and compromise.
Think of it like the ultimate way for you safeguard your new relationship so a breakup doesn’t happen again.