Today we are going to talk about how to treat an ex boyfriend who dumped you.
And if you stick around until the end of this article you’re going to learn,
- The importance of titles after a breakup
- The importance of following the steps of a value ladder
- And how to merge the two depending on where you are in the value ladder.
Let’s begin.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizFour Titles to Define Your Relationship with Your Ex
Talking to an ex after a breakup can often feel like walking over landmines – you don’t know what to say, when to say it, and what you both are to each other.
The most significant point to consider when treating an ex after a breakup is the title – what are you?
Our society is obsessed with titles and labels so we feel the need to put a title on every relationship. That can be hard when you’re talking to an ex after a breakup since there’s no actual rulebook or proper relationship in place.
Our clients often find it hard to get their exes to fully define the relationship because they’re not ready for an official title. Today’s article will make that much easier for you because we not only define the titles for you and your ex after a breakup, but we also go through the different stages of the ex recovery process and what title to expect at each stage.
- Friendly acquaintance – Someone you know a little more than a casual acquaintance, but you wouldn’t consider them a friend yet.
- Friends – Someone you know well, enjoy talking to and have a mutual bond of affection with.
- More than friends – Someone you actively flirt with more than a friend, but you’re not exclusive.
- Romantic partner – Someone exclusively in a relationship.
Now knowing these titles isn’t enough on their own; you need to understand how they relate to our concept of a value ladder.
Anyone who asks me about how to treat their ex is met with the exact same tried-and-tested concepts: the no contact rule and the value ladder.
Value Ladder – The Steps And Titles At Each Step
A value ladder is the process of building value over incremental modes of communication, getting more personal and romantically involved in each step.
So let’s look at the 5 rungs of a value ladder:
Step 1: No Contact Rule
Relationship title: friendly acquaintance.
The no contact rule is ALWAYS the foundation of a value ladder, regardless of whether you want your ex back or want to get over them.
The no contact rule is where you have a complete understanding that you and your ex are no longer an item, you’re no longer romantic partners, and you’re no longer friends. Often, people who want their exes back believe or delude themselves into believing that if they’re just friends with her ex, they can crawl their way back into the picture. While we do advise being friends with your ex in situations where they’ve moved on – the “being there” method – we never advise that as the first step.
The no contact rule is the primer for the next steps, so you have to understand that you cannot talk to your ex, and they are nothing more to you than a friendly acquaintance.
You don’t spend too much time thinking about a friendly acquaintance, so your ex should just be an afterthought during the no contact rule.
Instead of obsessing over your ex, the no contact rule is supposed to be all about focusing on YOU. It’s about understanding the Ungettable mindset, which is basically where you look at all the elements of your life and try to optimize them to be the best possible version of yourself.
When you focus on yourself, you’ll experience a mindset shift where you stop caring about your ex too much, and that will give you the confidence you need to have amazing conversations with your ex in the following steps.
Your ex will also have a much more positive response to you if they see you as a different person.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizStep 2: Texting Phase
Relationship title: Friends
The text message phase is often defined by subtle flirting and building the foundation for a friendship.
The key here is building rapport because you’re trying to turn someone from a friendly acquaintance to an actual friend.
Being friends is essential to this phase, so you cannot rush the texting phase. Instead, take your time and have engaging text conversations till you and your ex both see each other as friends… but just friends!
Step 3: Phone call/ Video call phase
Relationship title: More than Friends
This step basically involves all virtual methods of communication where your ex can hear your voice, and you can talk back and forth.
So just like the text message phase was transitionary between friendly acquaintances to actual friends, the phone call phase is where you’re transitioning from being friends to more than friends.
This is actually one of the more difficult transitions that will happen because your ex creates this narrative of “hey, we’re just friends, right?” and they get stuck in this every time you talk. However, when you start subtly flirting with them over text (and hopefully, they respond in the same way), you’re opening their mind to the possibility of more.
You can build on that shred of doubt (or hope) when you start to call them.
This phase is particularly hard because it often happens simultaneously with texting – I mean, it’s to be expected that if you’re calling someone, you’re probably texting them too, right? This becomes difficult to grasp for people like me who prefer linear steps in everything…
No contact rule for 30 – 45 days? Check!
Building value over text for 30ish days? Check!
On to phone calls now… but does that mean we’re done with the texting? No.
This is where you get the benefit of using video chat or phone call functions in tandem with texting to hopefully create a situation where you and your ex both start to feel like you’re more than friends.
We actually find that it’s not hard once you get the momentum going to create that “more than friends feeling” because you’ve already been more than friends. You’ve already dated each other, so you know how to get back in that groove.
But people who rush this process overestimate their ability to cross over into the “more than friends” title. They usually enter the meetup phase while still in a limbo between friends and more than friends, and that’s a recipe for disaster. So you need to make sure to spend the appropriate amount of time in the texting and phone call phase
Step 4: In-person meetups
Relationship title: More than Friends / Romantic Partners
So we actually used to tell people to go right into dates after the phone call phase, but we found that those first few “dates” were just awkward, and both parties were confused about what’s going on.
So we phased that out and started recommending a few casual meetups to get over any initial awkwardness before climbing on to the next step of the ladder.
So these meetups are basically a weird sort of pseudo-date situation where your ex is almost certain that you’re on a date but can’t quite claim that you’re on a date because they haven’t committed to being exclusive with you. Usually, nothing romantic is happening, but you’re sowing the seeds for your ex to see you as an exclusive romantic partner before you move on to romantic dates.
We usually recommend going on three of these pseudo-date meetups, and by then, your ex should start showing an inclination for romance. If they don’t, you should nudge them by asking the fundamental question – “what are we?” If you’ve built enough value over the value ladder’s last rungs, this conversation should smoothly transition you to going on romantic dates.
Now the catch here is that you don’t want to take the lead here as a woman. Men have a bigger advantage here because they can take the lead and initiate, while women usually take a more reactionary role. You want to let those gender dynamics work as they do because you don’t want your ex to feel like they’re losing power. However, you can put yourself in romantic situations just to test what your ex is going to do.
This is why I actually highly recommend you watch the recent interview I did with coach Anna, our head coach in the ex recovery team. We talked for like an hour and a half about flirting – what flirting is, how to do it properly, what’s ok to say, and what’s not ok to say. That interview will help you turn your ex’s focus from being more than friends to romantic partners.
Step 5: Romantic Dates
Relationship title: Romantic Partners
This is what you’ve been waiting for.
Usually, by the third meetup, your ex has expressed strong desires to be exclusive romantic partners. Now, of course, it doesn’t always work out that way, and sometimes you’ll get to the romantic dates phase, and your ex is still not ready to commit. You’re probably acting like romantic partners, but you don’t have the security and validation of a label. So how do you get that?
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThere are a lot of different ways to go about this, but here’s the biggest actionable piece of advice when planning dates:
Location! Location! Location!
What date would you rather be on? A quick trip to McDonald’s or a ride on a hot air balloon/walk along the sandy beaches of Hawaii?
Obviously, your ex will have much more romantic feelings in romantic locations, so it’s a great “hack” to nudge them in the right direction towards becoming exclusive romantic partners.
The other part of the equation is the kind of conversations you’ve been having. You want to talk about things that interest your ex and not just yourself, so they feel engaged in the conversation. You can also try teaching your ex something new on a date as a way to rekindle romantic feelings!
So, the romantic date phase is the last phase where you can go all out and make the switch from “more than friends” to “romantic partners,” as long as you took your time on the previous rungs of the value ladder.
Conclusion:
How you treat your ex has a lot to do with what title you give to your relationship.
Here at ex-boyfriend recovery, we like to use 4 titles for your relationship with your ex after a breakup:
- Friendly acquaintances
- Friends
- More than friends
- Romantic partners
These titles go hand in hand with our value ladder – which is the incremental methods of communication you use to build value after a no contact rule.
catherine jackson
March 22, 2022 at 10:52 pm
He dumped me 8 months ago.. No contact… He has not contacted me since.. He now has a new girlfriend.. Took her to vegas on the week that we usually go every year.. To the same hotel, doing the same things.. She is younger and beautiful… I never had a chance….
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 23, 2022 at 7:58 pm
Catherine, don’t sell yourself short! You have a history together, you just need to work on your confidence and understand that this program can work even if they meet someone else!
Cameron
July 22, 2021 at 1:02 pm
We just broke up about 5 days ago because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now . We were together for a year . I’m working on moving out of the apartment we shared , but it seems like we’re already at the stage where we are more than friends . We both still love eachother and want this to work ; I stayed in the apartment because my bed is still there and he slept with me in the same bed due to his own choice . Should I still initiate the no contact rule after I’m officially moved out ? Or go from here ? He still voiced he didn’t want a relationship right now , but still told me he loved me .
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 6, 2021 at 11:30 pm
Hi Cameron, you need to follow the limited no contact rule, immediately.
Thula
April 29, 2021 at 9:48 pm
At first we had the best communication and i was happy, he showed me his mom and siblings and also his friends know me. I would wake up with good morning text every morning but what caught my attention is him saying “he likes being alone”. He also has a short tamper like someone who’s going through emotional problems. One morning he woke up and dumped me out of the blue we didn’t fight but he didn’t look like he meant it then i kept quiet, after 2 days he apologized i forgave him but communication was lacking it wasn’t the same and he stopped spending time with me for 2 months although he text me on whatsapp. He goes to his mom a lot, he would tell me his father use to disrespected his mom. Becuse i was tired of his behavior which is him not spending time with me i asked him to tell me if we still together or not, he was hesitant and took time to answer but i kept on pushing for an answer and he texted in angry big letters saying “WE ARE OVER”. And i said Ok and kept quiet cos i don’t feel loved although i love him. Should i text him or leave him?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 6, 2021 at 6:16 pm
Hi Thula, no you should leave him in NC for at least 30 days allow him some time to himself. Let him miss you. If he is going through something emotionally and choosing not to talk to you about that, you cannot force him. However, if he loves you then he will maybe come back when he’s feeling stronger, make sure that you improve yourself in this time, focus on yourself, friends, hobbies etc.
Akwande
January 6, 2021 at 12:29 pm
He said he’s not good for me he needs to let me go, and that was the end. Tried begging and crying but it didn’t work out, but it’s been 3 days since we last spoke I’m following the no contact rule.
Soph
December 2, 2020 at 9:30 pm
Thanks so much for this post! Wish I’d seen it sooner. My ex who I’d lived with for the past 1 year walked out on me 3 weeks ago, we had a silly argument and it landed me here and him back living with his mum. I spent the first 2 weeks trying to get him back (messaging him saying we can sort this out and get through this together etc – worst thing to do and I know that now!). Then he came over to collect his stuff and I tried for three hours to persuade him to stay and work on things, basically left myself in a state and looked desperate so of course he walked out on me anyway. It’s been 1 week today of the No Contact Rule and it’s killing me. He left me very suddenly and said he needed space to be on his own and sort his head out because I was smothering him and accused me of being “obsessed” with him rather than loving him. I done the worst thing a women could do and I put him on a pedal stall and in return I got dumped. He has no friends and barely any family so I think he didn’t know how to accept my love and instead pushed me away so he can be on his own again. I’m so broken and I feel so lost without him. How can he just walk away after we lived together and have so many lovely memories, I think of them everyday and wish I could just call him and try sort this out. Do men deal with things differently and don’t feel the urge to text someone once they are broken up? I’ve dealt with breakups before but this one hurts like crazy and I just really hope I feel a bit stronger soon. Apart from the odd arguments over “spilt milk”, silly issues we had a wonderful relationship.. or at least that’s what I thought 🙁
Chipo
November 18, 2020 at 9:06 pm
Thanks so much for the great idea of how to treat a boyfriend after a break up. He just broke up with me in the early hours of today. He had to brake up with me after I confronted him on his cheating habits and he accused me of going out with my workmate. Advice me what should I do with such kind of a person who can’t accept his wrong doing instead every time I confront him on his cheating behavior, he ends the relationship
Meg
August 10, 2020 at 6:43 pm
I was seeing a great guy for 8 months he left me and told me he was not ready. We work together so I see him everyday. Its now been 6 months and his ex is coming to stay with him for a week. She lives in another province. Id love to get him back but im afraid ive lost him for good.
Marie
June 14, 2020 at 5:55 am
I’ve been seeing this amazing guy for 18 months, and he has children including teenagers. But we make time for each other and it’s all been so effortless, we’ve been on holidays the two of us and we connect on every level. I’ve always showed an interest in his kids daily – I have one myself so I get the parent vibes, We met on a dating site and he said he was separated and getting divorced which is all true. And he’s been the chaser so to speak, the texter morning noon and night and asked me to open his heart to him which I did.
We saw each other 3 time’s a week and I can honestly say we both fell in love naturally and had the best time. But last week he said he was starting to feel the pressure of selling his home and finding somewhere to live, he doesn’t like his job too much either and we discussed how he felt a bit trapped by it all (he lives with his dad while he’s sorting out finances) – he’s a great dad that sees his kids 4/5 days a week but the teenage girls hated that their dad was seeing someone so that was started to affect him (I’ve never met them for fear of upsetting them) then a few days ago he messaged to say he couldn’t do this anymore and he was going to have to ‘run’ from our relationship, we then spoke on the phone and he was crying as was I, he said he needed time to be alone to ‘sort out his situation’ and sell the house make sure his kids were happy etc, that he loves me so much and he doesn’t want to lose me but he is letting me go for now. He said he feels pressure and he’s never had much time to experience being on his own. I told him I would of stood by him through all of this as I have done without any pressure, but he said he couldn’t use any energy on us.
The last two days have been devastating for me,
I’ve been so heart broken to the point I haven’t eaten, I feel sick, I have cried so much that I don’t think I could cry any more, I’ve barely slept and when I wake up I find myself going on WhatsApp at 2am to re read messages, and my heart feels actually broken.
He has since messaged a couple of times to reassure me his love hasn’t changed for me and he keeps saying on messages he loves me but this is his only option. It’s almost cruel for me.
He’s also saying he can see us getting back together in the future but he can’t guarantee that. I feel so heart broken.
Do I cut him out my life for good? I’m ready for a relationship and I know if I find out he’s dating In the future, it’s going to rip me apart, I can’t be that girl that gets back with someone if they do that, I’ve been in love before but this really was so different and the real deal, I have no idea how I’ll move on from this?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 12, 2020 at 11:39 am
Hi Marie it sounds as if he is in a difficult situation where he wants to make sure his children are happy and as a parent this is easy to understand. As for you and him, I think he wanted to be in a relationship with you but he is trying to keep his children (family) happy. When he has sorted himself maybe you will get back together, or he will come to speak to you about reconciliation.
In the mean time you need to follow this program so that you do not fall into a friends zone or friends with benefits. Stick to the No Contact and focus on your Holy Trinity and show him that you are not going to be sidelined when things were working well between you. In the end he is going to have to decide if he is going to stay single or date and his teenagers will have to accept he will eventually be with someone else
Helen
May 30, 2020 at 1:31 pm
My partner of 2and half yrs were living together in my house. He was dismissive and avoided conversations about the future.
I resented him for this and found little things he did upsetting and annoying. He never wanted to speak or have a conversation around family or kids or marriage. This hurt me. Behind my back he took a day off work in jan and packed his bags to leave me and I begged and pleaded for him to stay and he did. We had 3 good months and then I fell pregnant accidently and he advised me abort. It went really hard on me and it made me feel what direction is this relationship going in and plus i would be emotional and he wouldn’t respond well to crying or upset.
We had a hard few months with little annoyances but at the same time believed everything was much better. The night before he actually left he lay down with me on the couch and was more affectionate than ever.
And next day without knowledge he texted as normal during my work day and rang me on the way home saying he had left me over the phone. He blames me for my unhappiness with him but ultimately it was down to his non future conversation. I love him immensely and haven’t stopped. I asked him to face me face to face that night and he did but he left and had seen me for 7 days of the last 14.He has contacted me everyday to see if I’m ok apart from. Yesterday. He never texted. He texted today to ask if i still wanted to go for that walk we mentioned last we spoke as I don’t want not to see him and I still want him to want me.. so in trying no contact right now. But he sent this message and I really think he needs not to see me to hurt and realise he is losing me. Anytime he has texted and called I’ve answered so he hasn’t experienced me out of his life yet..
I do want him back but he has all ther control.
He left me
Sarah
May 6, 2020 at 6:31 am
The guy I was seeing broke up with me over text as I confronted him for finding out he was back on a dating app. We were supposed to be exclusive. I tried to make things right at the moment but he just said he was done and needed space and to be left alone. I have started no contact and it’s been 1 week and a few days now. He keeps changing his profile picture on WhatsApp. I am not sure he will contact me again.
Michelle
May 3, 2020 at 10:09 pm
My ex dumped me after 5 yrs friendship. 3 yrs committed. I noticed a change in him and brought it to his attention. I asked him about his happiness In relationship and even offers to seek couples therapy to help us with issues. He acknowledged, said he was willing to go and that he wanted us to be happy together. Only 4 days later to flip on me and tell me he wasn’t happy. Made up some excuse about me not supporting him (completely false) and how he didn’t want to do this anymore. He said he would come by and grab his belongings after his work. I asked him to pick them up immediately
When he showed up he let himself in with his house key. Placed it on the table and proceeded to Gather his things. He grabbed most. As he grabbed his things I told him that I’m sorry I didn’t bring him happiness and I wish him all the best in the future. He said he’s not a bad guy and that he’s not mad (but he Broke it off with me with no reason to be mad). He said there’s no telling what may happen in the future. He Went to talk to the dogs and took them outside. He then came back in to me where I sat. Attempted to kiss me then left.
I haven’t contacted him since and haven’t heard from him since.
We are still friends on severa social media platforms.
Everyone says we’ll get back together. I don’t know. I wish I understood this behavior and I’m wish he’d told me what made him unhappy. I don’t know his behavior is just so confusing.
Nosi
April 12, 2020 at 10:38 pm
I have been with him for 6 years and we have a baby together who is 2 years old. On 23 March he called with his new girlfriend to ask me that I confirm that we are no longer together so his life can continue. I was shocked and asked to talk to her , she mentioned that they have been together for 15 months. I was shocked as we were together for all those months. Now He want contact with the child using video calling and I don’t know how to handle this as I really do not want no contact with him
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 17, 2020 at 7:05 pm
Hi Nosi, you can allow your child to have video chats with him but there is no need for you to talk to him. You can accept the call and then place the camera on your child and then walk away enough so that he does not speak with you or see you on camera
Jill R
February 22, 2020 at 2:19 am
Hi, my bf asked to take a break a few days ago but i’m not sure why he doesn’t just want to end it and i’ve been doing the no contact rule to him but i’m not sure if he knows that and he just texted me to ask how am i, and if everything is good. but i saw on instagram that he went clubbing with his group of friends and one of his female friend was wearing his shirt. am i overthinking? did he cheat on me before asking for a break?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 22, 2020 at 9:59 pm
Hi Jill I would not jump to assumptions as this is going to cause arguments that may be from nothing. Unless you have proof he cheated do not mention it. The fact he wanted a break could be a number of things. During this time you need to stick to no contact and let him have some space so he has that chance to think and miss you. Work on yourself and remain social with your friends during that time too
Shruti Singh
February 21, 2020 at 3:00 am
My boyfriend broke up with me after 2.5 yrs of relationship…. The reason that he gave was that he is frustrated with his daily life and he has a lot going on with him… That now when we fight it affects him a lot and he doesn’t feel the same way about me… He broke up with me over the phone… On his birthday he tried giving me a hint about his idea of breaking up but I bursted out crying and out of sympathy he couldn’t dump me then(wch I obviously didn’t do on purpose, it was just the thought of he leaving me made me cry)… There have been a lot of times when I had forgiven tons of his shit because I wanted to make this relationship work but he got this one chance to break up with me and he happily took it… He has done a lot for me and I’ve always been there for me… I never expected him to just leave me like this… Its been the worst days for me… Crying around the house… Should i wait for him?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 27, 2020 at 9:43 pm
Hey Shruti, so I can not tell you to wait for him or to move on. I can only advise you on how to do either. Take some time for yourself to get over the break up and then decide what you want to do, I’d be happy to advise you when you have made your mind up
KV
February 11, 2020 at 10:41 pm
Hello,
My ex broke up with me 2 days ago, after spending 1.5 years together happily. It was all good just 1 day before the breakup and all of a sudden he came to realise that I am not the one he wants to spend the rest of the life with. I tried to get to know more about the reasons behind and explain to him the the every assumptions he had made about me not being good enough. But he is very determined on it no matter how i asked him to resolve the issues together…and he blocked me on all social media. I have never been this heart-broken because this wasnt me or any or our friends were expecting. Although he finally agreed that he would find me one month later, I have no confidence that he would change his mind…I want him back so badly, what should i be doing now? Since he has blocked my social media accounts, there is no way he could know anything about me for now…I refrained myself from calling him and it was so hard. I don’t want to lose him…
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 15, 2020 at 4:58 pm
Hey KV you should be in No contact now where you do not reach out or reply to your ex if they reach out to you. Now as for him making assumptions about you, this is based on what he sees and hears from you and what you want from life. So going forward you need to work on yourself enough to show the type of person you are, what you want from your life, for yourself, and plan towards your future.
Kelsey
February 1, 2020 at 2:03 am
I need help.
My ex is engaged to another girl, but he recently dm’ed me, followed me on instagram, and liked 5 old photos of me in one night. He says he still has love for me, lost my number and would like me to text him.
What do I do??
I think we need proper closure and maybe he needs that before he embarks on this journey with his new girl?
Perhaps he misses my friendship? Could he simply want to be friends?
I’m not sure I want to see him but we honestly never had closure but it was the hardest year of my life trying to get over him. I’m still really not. I would love any advice….
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 7, 2020 at 8:53 pm
Hey Kelsey, he is engaged to someone else but is telling you he loves you. I would explain to him that you are not willing to be the other woman in the situation he can not have you both. I would not text him, I would reply using the media he used to contact you. And if he does not leave the woman he is engaged to then walk away
Dee
January 17, 2020 at 1:27 am
How do you initiate no contact with someone you have kids with ?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 17, 2020 at 2:01 pm
Its called Limited No Contact, you will find article about it on this website
Nibbor
January 16, 2020 at 5:42 pm
We have been casual friends for 30 years. We started working together at a company, and the physical attraction was there. After much flirting, we slept together. I had not had a sexual relationship in years. Meanwhile, he met another woman, that was calling him everyday. Playing with her mind. She did not sleep with him, and knew about me. Mind game. Anyhow, I am moving out of state. Should I say goodbye. Because I do not call him either. But am annoyed. I feel like he used me.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 16, 2020 at 9:49 pm
That’s totally your decision if you want to say goodbye to him
Karen
January 12, 2020 at 11:23 pm
So my boyfriend broke up with me 4 days before Christmas, we had a few rows but always got back but this time he said hes done. Never heard anything so contacted him new years day and he said he still felt the same . I’m still in no contact but I dont think hes bothered anyway . We were together 19 months felt like it ment nothing .
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 13, 2020 at 11:12 pm
Hey Karen, stick with the No Contact and focus on yourself, some self work and live your life showing the most interesting and fun times on social media, because it is highly likely that your ex is keeping an eye on your social media from time to time.
Ace
December 30, 2019 at 5:05 pm
Hi,
I happened to run into someone I was seeing for 3 months when I was having brunch with a friend. We were in no contact for 2-3 months after he ghosted me for another person. He goes out of his way to make small talk which made me feel a bit awkward since I haven’t really talked to him since we were together. I found it difficult to even introduce him to my friend because we were only seeing each other, went on dates, never clarified what it was, and we were intimately close. So I went with just making small talk and acknowledging his presence as he just want to say hi but it felt a bit drawn out on his end. I am not one for small talks either and talked what we doing since he asked and that was it. My question is, how do I go about be handling another interaction better and less awkward with him since we’re more than likely to see each other again. It also made my friend weirded out by him approaching us out of nowhere. So I got my friend up-to-speed about the situation at hand after brunch. I’m not even sure whether to consider us as friends especially since I’ve only been romantically involved with him. I’ve also been meeting and becoming friends with other people because I’ve only made friends with his friends. I still care for the guy and I don’t like feeling uncomfortable when we’re around each other.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 3, 2020 at 4:57 am
Hi Ace, so the first time you bump into someone after you stop seeing them is going to be awkward as you are not sure what to say, but just the usual politeness of saying hello and walk past, or turn back to your friend probably would be best if you are not a person who is able to make small talk