It’s a question I get asked every single day.

“What is he thinking?”

Or if you want me to be more specific:

“Now that I am in no contact can you explain what is going on in his mind?”

I decided to put this guide together to put a rest to these questions once and for all. I am going to be attempting to explain everything I know about how men react to the no contact rule. If you aren’t familiar with my website then let me give you a quick breakdown of what I am all about.

Every single “guide,” I like to use the word guide to explain my posts/articles because it sounds more authoritative, anyways, every single guide I have ever written is very long and in-depth and this particular guide will be no different. Some of the things I talk about may be hard for you to hear but at it’s core it will come from a place of truth.

In the end, I subscribe to the theory that in order for me to best help you get your ex boyfriend back you need to see the entire picture and that is what I am doing here with this guide, helping you see the parts of the picture you are missing.

(Side Note: If you want a full accounting of the “big picture” that you are missing the best place for you to start is with Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO my massive book detailing all of my best theories on how to improve your chances with your ex.)

Your Failure Of The No Contact Rule

Every single day I carve out an hour or two to answer comments and questions from the readers of this site.

At times I feel like a robot constantly repeating myself…

“Have you done NC?”

“Are you currently in NC?”

Some women will tell me that they tried the NC rule but failed after only 4 days. Others make it deep into “uncharted territory,” 10 days, before they fail.

I get it.

The no contact rule can be an extremely hard thing to complete. After all, I am asking you to essentially cut your ex boyfriend off for a full month. To be more specific, you can’t talk, text or respond to any type of communication from him.

(If you would like a full explanation of the No Contact Rule please visit this page or simply watch the video below,)

It’s funny to me that so many women fail at something SO CRUCIAL to get their ex boyfriends back.

I mean, if I told you that you would get a 100% success recovery rate if all you had to do was make it through 30 days without contacting your ex there would still be some women who would fail at not contacting their ex.

I liken it to a little kid being told “you cannot have that cookie.” The little kid knows that it is wrong to take a cookie from the jar but decides to do it anyways. Are you seeing the analogy yet?

You= the little kid.

Your ex= the cookie.

Now, lets take a look at WHY you keep reaching your hand in the cookie jar.

Whenever I write one of these guides I tend to do a lot of outlining and research. However, when I asked myself a simple question “why is it that so many women keep breaking NC?” I didn’t have to look very far for the ansewr. In fact, if you are a constant reader of this site then you won’t have to look very far either. A simple viewing of the comments should give you a pretty clear picture.

Oh, I broke NC because I didn’t want him to think less of me…

I didn’t know what he was thinking and it was driving me nuts…

I am afraid he will lose interest in me…

What if he runs off with some other girl…

With all of the concerns listed above what is the one constant?

While I admit there are many constants in the concerns above the correct answer I am looking for lies in a simple truth. Any woman who implements a no contact rule is uncertain about what is going on in her exes mind.

Therein lies the foundation on which this guide was built, helping you to better understand what goes on in your exes mind so YOU can succeed with the no contact rule!

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Understanding Men During NC

It doesn’t take a genius to tell that men and women are very different creatures.

Men, much more physical, tend to lack when it comes to social situations.

Women, much more social, tend to lack when it comes to physical situations.

This is an interesting view to take when you look at our species as a whole. It explains why men need women and women need men. However, it also explains why we get our wires crossed so often.

I am a man. I understand how they think. I understand why most of my peers do the things they do. This puts YOU in a very unique position because I am spreading all of our dirty little secrets. Every single one I want to give you access to so you can better understand us.

To be more specific, I am going to be talking about how a man can possibly react (and what he will think) when a woman implements a no contact rule on him.

The first thing I need to teach you has to do with the differences in men.

Men Are Different From Women

george carlin men vs women

Above I established that men and women are different creatures. Well, I would like to take that a step further and say that not all men are the same. For example, what I find attractive in a woman another man may not.

One of my best friends springs to mind here. As two young single guys we often talk about one topic, women. I remember a few months ago my friend went on this rant about how he likes a particular “type” of woman. After his rant I chimed in and explained the type of woman I liked. In the end, we agreed to disagree but I think this little anecdote proves an interesting point.

What may be true for a lot of men may not be true for your man.

This is an important concept to understand because what I am about to explain next only exisits because of the “men are different from men” phenomenon.

When it comes to the no contact rule I have found that there are 7 main reactions and thoughts that men will have. Each reaction is different from the other in its own unique way. Now, I will eventually get around to explaining the “reactions” to you but first I need to teach you something else.

Whatever Reaction You Get Depends On Your Relationship

relationship meme

Above I established that each man is different in his own unique way. That concept will certainly have a “tie in” to the 7 different reactions I talk about later in this guide but if I am being completely truthful with you then I would say that what I am about to explain here is the single biggest factor into HOW your ex is going to react during the no contact rule.

I want you to think back to your old relationship.

Now, obviously your old relationship failed for some reason. Right now that doesn’t matter. Right now we are going to be looking at something far more valuable. Something I like to call the aftertaste effect!

What Is The Aftertaste Effect?

When I began writing Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO I had a list that I put together designed to detail all of the best strategies that I found that worked to get an ex back so that I could put it in the book.

The aftertaste effect was one of those strategies.

Do you have a favorite candy?

I know I certainly do.

Whenever you eat a candy you are left with a certain aftertaste. It is that aftertaste that compels you to come back and keep eating that candy. For me the candy that has the best aftertaste is Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. For some reason every time I eat one I end up eating two or three more.

Of course, candy is not good for you. Everyone knows that at a basic level and yet it is the aftertaste that compels us all to keep eating them.

Now, I want to ask you a question.

What kind of emotional “aftertaste” do you think your ex boyfriend was left with after the two of you broke up?

One thing I can tell you for sure is that YOU were left with a good aftertaste. I mean, here you are reading this far down the page because you are hungry for another relationship with your ex. (I will stop with the puns.) But I really want you to think hard and try to put yourself in your exes shoes. What kind of taste do you think he was left with?

Good or bad, whatever his aftertaste is will cause him to react a certain way to the no contact rule.

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The 7 Reactions From Men During No Contact

Through a lot of trial and error I’ve learned that there are typically seven reactions that men will have during a no contact rule.

How did I come by this data you wonder?

Two ways actually!

The first is relatively simple, I coach A LOT of people one on one.

The second is actually through our private Facebook Group that we have for women going through breakups. Right now the only way to gain access to this private resource is by first reading Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. We find that if we just let anyone in the results aren’t great. However, if I require them to read PRO first then they tend to do a lot better in the group.

But I am getting way off topic.

In this section I am going to outline each of the ways and give an in-depth explanation for what is going on in his head during the reaction. Now, while you are reading about each reaction I want you to keep in mind that I will be referencing the aftertaste effect a lot. So, make sure you have a grasp of it before you read on.

Lets stop talking and start listing.

  • Reaction 1- The Frantic Caller
  • Reaction 2- The Frantic Caller Turned Into Ignorer
  • Reaction 3- The Stubborn Guy
  • Reaction 4- The Clueless Guy
  • Reaction 5- The Scared Guy
  • Reaction 6- The Mid Caller
  • Reaction 7- The Angry Guy

Confused? Don’t worry, as always I will explain.

Here’s how this is going to work. You and I are going to play roles in each of these seven reactions.

You are going to play my ex girlfriend (who is using a 30 day no contact rule on me.) Of course, I am going to be playing your ex boyfriend and plan to give you insight on each of my reactions. Lets get started!

1. The Frantic Caller

 

This is an amusing reaction from a man. I remember when I first created this site I really thought that women who implemented the no contact rule would see this particular reaction from men but the truth is that not as many men have this reaction as I thought.

What is a “frantic caller?”

Frantic Caller- A man who will call “frantically” a few days after NC has started. He will eventually get the hint and stop calling. However, deep in his mind he will always want to hear from you.

So, here is how this situation would work if you and I were the “actors.”

You would use the no contact rule on me. Of course, I wouldn’t realize it until I sent you a few text messages that you don’t respond to. Now, lets hit the pause button and talk about this. Personally, the more I care about someone the more I care about getting a response to a text message.

For example, if I am texting a friend I really don’t mind if my message is not responded to immediately (or at all.) However, on the flip side if I am texting a girl that I have a major crush on or an ex girlfriend (like you 😉 .) I am going to care about getting a response. So, when I send you a text message and you don’t respond to it I am going to start to get agitated.

This agitation is going to lead to me sending more messages down the road or possibly calling you out on why you are not responding to me with a message like this:

“Oh, so you are just ignoring me now?”

At this point you are going to be tempted to respond to me. In a way, I am testing you to see if you will engage with me. This is a classic “guilt trip.”

Of course, every time I send a message that you don’t respond to I am leaving myself vulnerable. This ties directly into the push/pull method that I described in this guide. Basically, the more you ignore me the more likely I am to show you attention. However, the more you send attention my way the less likely I am to give you that attention back.

Usually, after a certain amount of texts are un-responded to I will start calling you frantically. Of course, since you are in a strict NC rule you will be ignoring all of my calls. While it may take a while I will finally get the hint and stop calling which will lead me to ignore you completely.

This is where I want to hit the pause button again.

It’s this ignoring period (that I am doing to you) that I really want to discuss. What is going on in my head during this time?

Firstly, lets look at the facts. I was basically a text gnat to you after I didn’t get my way (once you started ignoring me.) When I advise people I always tell them to try to look beyond the “words” that their ex says to them and look at the actions that their ex does. My actions here, once NC was done by you was to spam you with text messages and phone calls. That fact alone means that I still have interest in you, that I still care about you.

Now, once I start ignoring you it isn’t because all of a sudden I “hate” you, it’s because I finally got the hint that you don’t want to talk to me. Most women who visit this site get very scared during the “ignoring” period by their ex. They think he will “move on” or that he will “find someone else.”

In my experience that doesn’t happen at all. I may try to convince myself that I “don’t like you anymore.” Heck, I may even mouth off to a few of my friends that I don’t want to be with you anymore but deep down that isn’t true. Deep down I am just insecure about being alone and I want to hear from you badly.

I have actually experienced this phenomenon myself before. I like to call this the fake reality phenomenon.

The Fake Reality Phenomenon

During my first breakup ever I experienced something very strange.

I am the type of guy that can sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve. It can be my biggest advantage but also my biggest downfall.

During my first breakup it was definitely my biggest downfall. This particular breakup stands out in my mind because of how nasty it was. It wasn’t nasty from her end it was nasty from my end and I think it all came down to the insecurity I felt from being alone.

Anyways, I did the “ignoring dance” for a long time with her. In fact, I remember the very first day of the breakup I convinced myself that life was better and for a while it was. I had this feeling of being free but eventually the breakup caught up with me and I had to create this fake reality for myself where I did my best to put on this facade that I was great when deep down all I wanted was to talk to my ex.

This is essentially what the fake reality phenomenon is. It’s this weird reality that an ex will create for himself during the no contact rule to tell himself that life is better without you but deep down all he really wants is to talk to you.

2. The Frantic Caller Turned Into Ignorer

This reaction is very similar to the one above. Before I really dive in here let me give you a brief explanation of what this actually is.

Frantic Caller Turned Ignorer- A man who will frantically call after NC but will get so angry that you are ignoring him that he won’t call you again.

A perfect example of this is one of my clients who actually did get her ex back and was kind enough to come onto my podcast and do a podcast episode detailing her experience with no contact starting at 4:35,


This can be a pretty depressing reaction to get. Here is how this will break down if you and I were the “actors” in this play ;).

Just like before, you are going to implement the no contact rule on me and just like before I am going to become a text gnat by sending you a lot of different text messages and phone calls. Here is where the main difference will come into play, instead of me ignoring you (but wanting to hear from you) I am going to be ignoring you out of anger.

Let me dive a little deeper into the male thinking here.

Above I talked about how the more I care about a person emotionally the more I care about a text message response. This is an important nugget of knowledge to grasp for this reaction because it really goes down to the core of why an ex may potentially ignore you out of spit.

Look, no one likes to be flat out ignored. That fact alone is why the no contact rule is such an effective method. However, there will always be a certain portion of men that REALLY don’t like being ignored. These are the types of men that will take you ignoring them very personally. So personally in fact, that they will ignore you out of anger and spite just to “get back at you.”

Again though, lets really look at the facts. Anyone who frantically calls you definitely has an interest in you (or at least wants to know what you think.) So, while they may take your ignoring personally you have to wonder if deep down (beyond that anger) they still really want to hear from you.

I am a glass half full kind of guy so I choose to look at it like this: men who take being ignored personally will want to get back at you. However, deep down they just have this really thick “fake reality” wall built up to protect themselves from being hurt.

Remember when I was telling you that story about my very first breakup being really bad?

Well, the “frantic caller turned into ignorer” was the exact reaction that I had to the breakup. You see, my ex didn’t do a no contact rule on me but for a week we didn’t talk and I was definitely a text gnat and call gnat. Of course, after she ignored me I ignored her out of spite and created that “fake reality” to convince myself that everything was ok.

“Psssttt… want to hear a secret?”

Deep down I wanted to talk to her so bad but I was too stubborn to do so.

Speaking of stubborn!

3. The Stubborn Guy

“He is just so darn stubborn… I can’t get him to do anything I want.”

I can’t tell you how often I hear women say this to me when they talk about their ex. Unfortunately, it is a common problem. But how does that problem manifest itself in no contact? Firstly, I would like to explain exactly what the “stubborn guy” is.

The Stubborn Guy- This is a reaction that a certain man will have during the no contact period. Typically, they have the “she will have to call me first attitude.” In other words, they are too stubborn to even want to reach out during the no contact rule.

I have a feeling that a lot of women are going to be interested in this.

It is your greatest fear after all, having an ex NOT contact you at all during a no contact period. I want to explore this so you can truly understand what your ex is thinking. First though, lets get our two favorite actors to act this scenario out ;).

As always, you are going to initiate the no contact rule. However, this time I am not going to contact you. In other words, what we have here is a no contact rule stand off. Obviously, this is not what you want to have happen but the fact of the matter is that some men will react this way to the no contact rule. There are a complex range of emotions that go on here so I am going to be dividing this overall category into multiple sections. First, I would like to start with one of our favorite terms, the aftertaste effect.

The Aftertaste Effect

What is stubbornness? Perhaps more to the point, what is the definition of a stubborn person?

Stubborn Person- Someone who refuses to change their mind about something.

Why am I going into this? Well, I want to make it clear that just because someone is a stubborn person that doesn’t mean that it is impossible to change their mind. It just means you have to know how to deal with them. Lets turn our attention back to the aftertaste effect.

An ex who has the “stubborn guy” reaction to the no contact rule will have it because of the aftertaste they have of your previous relationship. For example, if I thought back to our (you and I’s) fake relationship and only thought bad things about it I would most likely have this mindset:

“I never want to talk to her again.”

Me having that thought about you is probably your greatest fear when it comes to getting me back. Of course, the thing YOU have to remember is that it is possible to change my mind. This is where your discipline comes in with the no contact rule.

The “Victim” Attitude

I would say that I can be a stubborn person when it comes to breakups. How do I know this? Well, because I lived it!

I think stubborn men as a whole adopt two specific mindsets when they are put in the no contact rule. I want to use this section to describe the first mindset.

There is a certain allure to being the victim. I mean, think about it. You get sympathy from everyone if you are a victim. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. When I read the comments and inquiries I get from readers every day I feel bad for some of the women I communicate with. ME feeling bad for you usually means that I am on your side!

How does this apply to stubborn men you ask?

Stubborn men during no contact want to be adored by their exes. If it was up to them they would have you calling them 20 times a day while they ignore you so they can show you “who’s boss.” Only you aren’t going to do that. You are a strong, independent and disciplined woman who isn’t going to break NC.

This is really NOT what they want. The fact that YOU aren’t begging them like you should be is going to agitate them and make them feel like the victim…

Yes, you read that right THEY are going to feel like the victim even though in the grand scheme of things they aren’t one. It is a really warped way of looking at things, I’ll admit, but you wanted to know about mens minds right?

The “She Has To Call Me First” Attitude

This is an attitude that I have personal experience with.

I remember during a breakup that I was so stubborn that I actually told myself “she has to call me first if she wants to talk to me.” You see, I, like most men, have a very warped way of looking at things. Every time I talk to a woman that I am dating or a woman I am interested in I look at every single interaction as a power struggle. This is especially true when it comes to who texts who first and who calls who first.

(I know, it’s really messed up isn’t it? I think it is just a guy thing.)

Anyways, having an ex call you first, if you are a stubborn guy, is like winning a game. If she calls you first you think to yourself “yup, I have her eating out of the palm of my hand.” Of course, if she doesn’t call you first then you begin to think that you are a “victim.”

In the end it all ties together.

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4. The Clueless Guy

Ah.. the clueless guy! Just a word of warning this section is going to be a bit shorter than the rest of the “reactions” during the no contact rule. That is because the clueless guy reaction is rare. So, what is a clueless guy reaction?

The Clueless Guy- A legitimate reaction where your ex is entirely clueless throughout the no contact rule. Men like this tend to be socially awkward or don’t really sense that anything is wrong.

I understand that you may be a little confused at how this reaction will play out in real life. So, as always, lets let our two professional actors act this situation out ;).

You are going to start the no contact rule on me. Of course, I am clueless about the whole situation so I may contact you or I may not. It will depend on a number of factors. If I don’t it’s not because I am trying to “put you in your place” it’s just that I am clueless about the whole situation.

Part of the reason the no contact rule works so well is the fact that the party it is being done to will sense that something is wrong. This feeling that they get will create a range of emotions and eventually (sometimes subconsciously) show them how much their ex significant other really means to them.

So, this begs the question:

Will the no contact rule even work on someone who has a “clueless” reaction? Before we can answer that we need to study the psychology behind someone with a clueless reaction.

The Psychology Behind A “Clueless” Reaction

One thing I’ve learned over my years as a coach is that men who tend to be clueless are ones that don’t have a lot of experience in relationships.

You see, one thing I have learned about women throughout my life is they tend to drop these little hints when you talk to them. These hints are a way of testing you to see where you stand on a certain issue. How you react to the hint will dictate how they approach the situation in the future.

A clueless guy is the type of guy who will not pick up any hints at all. He is too clueless or wrapped up in his own world to.

For example, during the NC period a clueless guy will not sense that anything is wrong at all. Here is where things get interesting though. He may actually contact you during the no contact period (but at the same time he may NOT contact you.)

So, there are aspects of being frantic and stubborn in there but as a whole he will not get any of the hints you drop. He will just assume everything is ok. Again, I would like to reiterate that this type of guy is very rare. I would say that there is a 95% chance that your ex boyfriend is NOT going to have this reaction.

Will The No Contact Still Work?

A few sections ago I asked a simple question. Will the no contact rule work on someone who is “clueless” about it?

The answer is YES it still can work but not in the way you think.

The biggest misconception is that the no contact rule is only for your ex boyfriend. In fact, I would say that, that is only half the battle. The half that everyone seems to forget about is the effect that NC has on YOU.

Hmm… how can I best explain this?

Ok, getting an ex boyfriend back requires an interesting balance. You have to be hyper aware of your emotions. You need to know when you have to be logical and you need to know when you have to be emotional. If you can find the perfect combination between the two (remaining logical while using your emotions to tap into your exes emotions) you have a really good chance to get your ex boyfriend back.

Here is the problem though, without the no contact rule you really don’t have any chance to acquire the logical mindset you need. Post-breakup is when you are at your emotional peak and while emotions can be good sometimes in this case you are probably too emotional to talk to your ex. That is why the no contact rule is such a beautiful thing.

If you can get through NC it shows that you have the discipline to remain logical!

5. The Scared Guy

Have you ever wondered if your ex is too scared to talk to you? In this section we are going to be covering the range of emotions that will be going through an exes head who feels too scared to even make a move. First though, I would like to define “the scared guy.”

The Scared Guy- This is a reaction that is the exact opposite of someone who frantically calls or texts. It’s a reaction that a guy will have when he is too scared to make a move during NC. He isn’t ignoring you out of stubbornness. He is ignoring you out of fear.

Lets not beat around the bush here, women are scary.

I am not afraid to admit it either.. I AM AFRAID OF WOMEN.

Still, to this day, I get the shakes when I am talking to a beautiful woman. It’s not because I am afraid of her. I am more afraid of what she is thinking about me. Here is the ironic part about the whole thing. I bet that the girl that I am talking to is getting the shakes because she is afraid of what I think about her.

The point I am trying to make here is don’t think that just because your ex isn’t contacting you it means he is stubborn. It may be entirely possible that he is too scared to reach out for fear of messing up. You tend to see this a lot with an ex boyfriend who YOU broke up with. So, let me break the “scared guy” reaction down for you.

If YOU broke up with me and implemented a no contact rule then I would definitely be afraid to contact you because of the fear of rejection. This begs an interesting question:

If you know for a fact that your ex boyfriend is afraid to contact you then shouldn’t you just break the NC and reach out to him first?

No… A BIG NO!

Here is what could happen in the mind of an ex boyfriend throughout the entire process:

If you contact him first during no contact he is probably going to revert to the stubborn mindset of “oh ya! I got her to reach out to me first after SHE broke up with me.” After this happens you are basically at his mercy.

Are you starting to understand no contact now? Dealing with exes during it is almost like a game. The game is all about power and usually the person with the power is in the best position.

6. The Mid Caller

This is a reaction from exes that I see a lot when I communicate with women on this site. I really want to do a good job explaining this so I am just going to cut right to the chase.

The Mid Caller- A common reaction that you will get during the NC rule. Instead of frantically calling at the beginning of the no contact rule an ex who has this reaction will call just a few times during the middle of the no contact rule.

As always, we are going to let our two favorite actors act out this scene for us so we have a better grasp of how this is all going to go down.

You are going to start the scene by implementing the no contact rule on me. I am going to enter into a NC rule duel with you. However, midway through the duel I am going to lose my nerve and reach out to you. Lets hit the pause button and explore this for a minute.

In my mind there are two possible explanations for why an ex boyfriend will call you a few days in (5-8 days) or midway through a no contact rule (14-18 days.)

Explanation #1- He Is Totally Clueless

This explanation ties directly in to what I talked about before with the “clueless guy.” It’s pretty simple really. Your ex is clueless about the whole situation and has no idea that you are doing a no contact rule on him. As a result, he will reach out in the middle of the no contact period.

Of course, when you ignore the text he sends he is going to figure out really quickly that something is up. Once he figures this out just sit back and watch the craziness ensue!

Explanation #2- He Loses The NC Rule Duel

This is much more likely to happen.

Chances are, if you are doing the no contact rule immediately after a breakup your ex boyfriend is going to be thinking about you a lot. He may have a little bit of stubbornness in him in that he won’t want to be the first one to contact you. As a result of that stubbornness he will engage with you in a no contact duel.

Of course, somewhere down the road his curiosity of what you are up to and how you are doing is going to take over and he will just throw caution to the wind by essentially losing the “duel.”

If he does lose this duel it can tell you a few important things. Firstly, he is thinking about you a lot which we can assume means that he still has some deep emotional feelings for you. Secondly, he cares about what you think and finally, YOU have power over him!

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The Angry Guy

Lets face the facts here. Getting your ex boyfriend back isn’t meant to be easy. If it was, well, then this site wouldn’t need to exist. This final reaction is what I like to call the “angry guy” reaction. Lets take a moment and define it.

The Angry Guy- The type of reaction you can get when your ex wants nothing to do with you (and means it..) Therefore, during NC he would not reach out to contact you.

The angry guy reaction is really the reaction that is going to tie into the aftertaste effect the most out of any reaction listed throughout this guide. Lets say that during our fake relationship you were not exactly a good girlfriend. You cheated on me or did something that really upset me. If I broke up with you under those pretenses then the chances are high that I left the relationship with a really bad taste in my mouth. If that was the case, then I probably will not want to contact you during the no contact period.

Except there is something different about the angry guy reaction as opposed to the stubborn guy reaction.

You see, with the stubborn guy reaction I won’t contact you during NC but deep down I will still want to hear from you. The angry guy reaction is a step above that. It is when an ex boyfriend is so angry that he wants nothing to do with you. He doesn’t even want to see or hear from.

As I already stated, a lot of the angry guy reaction is going to tie into YOUR choices during your previous relationship (a la the aftertaste effect.) Of course, there are some guys that are just plain jerks that don’t know how to handle a breakup and will exhibit this reaction.

Typically, the tell tale sign of an angry guy reaction is when your ex says some very hurtful things to your face repeatedly. The keyword in that sentence is “repeatedly.” You see, you can almost expect an ex to say mean things to you after a breakup but if he keeps saying them to you over and over again post no contact (and it becomes vicious and cruel) you may have brought out the “angry guy” from within.

So, I suppose the real question here is, is it possible to get someone back if they exhibit this reaction?

Can You Get An “Angry Guy” Back?

It’s possible. In fact, one of my best friends did it.

However, it is not easy.

It is going to take a lot of patience on your part and even then there are no guarantees. In the end, what it all boils down to is if you think your ex is worth it. Really take a good hard look at your previous relationship and ask yourself a simple question:

“do I want to do this again?”

3,737 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”

  1. SS

    September 16, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    Hi,

    I need some advice, even though the logical and rational part of my brain says to leave things alone and move on…
    I met a man 9 months ago and it was an instantaneous reaction and connection, which we both tried to ignore, but failed dismally at, one thing lead to another we started an affair with each other. He has a girlfriend whom he has been with for about 18 months now. I know it is wrong, but I am still human and my brain is often overridden by my heart. He and I work for the same company, but come from different countries, coincidentally his girlfriend and I come from the same country, but we don’t know each other.
    He and I have continued this affair for 9 months and it is passionate and intense and the feelings are very real, on my part at least…lately I don’t believe his are.
    I have voiced my irritation at the situation and have told him he is going to need to choose and make a decision because this can’t go on and I am not prepared to continue the affair forever, it is going to have to be me or her.
    I have been patient, which is not the easiest thing for me to do sometimes and I have kept my temper mostly in check, again not an easy thing for me to do, as I have a terrible and very quick temper.
    She recently came to his country on vacation, and I said I know he will ignore me know, to which he replied he will not…he was true to his word and he maintained contact with me, telling me he misses me, thinks about me first thing in the morning, feels very strange with the relationship with her and wishes he was with me. All great to hear, but I am not an idiot, although evidence points to the contrary, and I eventually got angry and told him he has to choose because I can’t cope thinking about him with her, and while it is great to tell me these things, his actions don’t match his words and does he miss me and think of me while he is having [email protected] with her amongst other things. I told him if he doesn’t feel the same way I do, then he must please tell me, and I will leave him alone…he of course came back saying he does feel the same way I do and he misses me.
    I ignored him after this, as again, I just felt like an idiot, because why would he tell me no, when I am not forcing him to choose.
    He tried to speak to me, which I ignored.
    I eventually answered about a week after I told him all of the above, to which he went back to saying sweet things. I got irritated again, because she is still there.
    I never replied, as I was genuinely busy, and then he sent me a message asking if I was too busy for him…
    I went ballistic because I felt he was being a D**K by saying this…and I told him to delete my phone number, forget he ever knew me and I was sick of being used, that my feelings are real and genuine, but his aren’t and he is a liar and he is never going to choose me and I am sick of it and he keeps showing who he really is…I told him I was deleting his phone number and I wished them a happy future and life together. He read my messages, but has not replied and it is 9 days later and we still have not spoken. On principle I won’t contact him, even though I want to and in my heart I feel he is meant to be with me and I don’t want to give up on him, even though my brain says I am an idiot and to move on. I know myself, I will maintain the NC, even if it is hard, but I know him and i believe at some stage he will contact me again…I think he will at least, I could be wrong. Not sure what I am supposed to do. I normally have a great control over my emotions, but as I said, I do have a bad temper…he never should have asked me if I am too busy for him, that was adding fuel to the fire, so to speak. Any advice?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 4:04 am

      Hi SS!

      It is said that when emotions run high, logic runs low. NC can help you with that. But make sure you understand fully how it works, because NC is an active process and is meant to accomplish many things. Go to my home page and read up on what I have to say about it. I have written books that goes into great detail about the entire recovery process. I am so limited time wise on what I can cover here!

  2. Helena

    September 13, 2018 at 11:04 am

    My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me two weeks ago now.
    We are both 26 years old. When we started dating I was in a good place emotionally and we were both so happy in the first year.
    But last summer my father (with whom I lived) got diagnosed with cancer and I had a hard time dealing, as every time I was home I had to watch his struggle with the disease. He died this spring. I was more angry than sad for his loss, cut ties with all my friends, got insecure.
    During this my boyfriend was very supportive, came to the burial and everything. But I was so caught up in my personal misery and anger that I behaved unfairly towards him. I relied only on him to make me happy and complained that he did not show enough affection (even though he did more than enough, I was just so afraid of losing him). Which ended in us having a big fight because he went out with his friends when we had made plans to skype. I called him again an hour later but he did not answer until the next day when we made up, me acknowledging that I acted out of this fear of losing him. Afterwards he was showing even more affection towards me.
    That was when I knew I had to get my act together. So 3 months ago I got a new apartment and he helped with this. I got back in touch with my friends, got my boyfriend stuff for my apartment so he would feel at home there, planned dates for us.
    Then 5 weeks ago he went on a 3-week-trip to his brother who currently lives in China. We had a lovely last evening, cuddling, watching movies, I send him off at the airport and he kept saying it was „only 3 weeks, he‘d come back“. He did not contact me during those weeks (I thought because our messenger services do not work there) and when he came back he texted short, distanced. He cancelled our plans for me to pick him up at the airport as he wanted pay a visit to his mother who got sick while he was gone. So I said of course, check in with me when you‘ve can. A few days later he came to my place and I was so excited to see him, but he would not hug or kiss me. He brought me presents from China – then broke up with me. He said he had tried to change after the fight, but he had thought it through a lot (he is slow in making decisions), did not miss me enough while he was away, felt like I needed more affection than he could give. So of course I begged and pleaded and he said „I can‘t do this anymore“ again and again. He was very emotional and sad or upset.
    (of course) I sent him a text some days later, saying that it was not his fault I had been so unhappy, that he should not have tried to change, that I was getting my life back on track and was sincerely sorry and ashamed of my behaviour during my grief.
    He answered quickly saying that he had been happy with me too, that we had much in common and liked spending time with me but he could not open up to me to share his problems and did not see a future for us as a couple anymore. But he would very much like us to be friends.
    So again I texted some days later, saying I knew he had problems with opening up to me, that I had not done enough to show him that I always had his back in the past, but wanted to change that. That I was sorry his decision seemed best for him as I may not have done enough to show that I was serious in changing the dynamics of our relationship back to something better for the both of us.
    But he did not answer that and I did not contact him again.
    So yesterday I saw him at a meeting (we are both a student initiative). I dressed nicely, was confident and social – everything I told him I wanted to change about myself since the fight. He looked at me a lot, but did not talk to me other than what was discussed in the meeting.

    So basically, what do I do? Does his 3 week absence change anything? Or the fact that he did not see the changes that I tried to make after that big fight?
    I really do miss him in my life and it hurts that he left just as I wanted to make amends and be the girlfried he deserves.
    All the best from Germany

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 9:51 pm

      It seems he may need more time. But the images of you at the party are certainly weighing on him. Are you fully employing NC and the tactics to reinforce your value thru social media?

  3. Rob Merchant

    September 5, 2018 at 7:23 am

    There is an 8th: the guy is mature enough to respect her wish for no contact and how, in spite of the pain it causes him, actually refrains from contacting her. It’s not being stubborn, just allowing her the space she requested.

  4. Emma

    September 2, 2018 at 3:01 pm

    Hi. My problem is that I have been involved in a long distance relationship for 3 years with an older man who is in a relationship with another woman. After having spent some significant time together recently, I decided to implement NC to 1) Try and give myself some space to think, 2) Try and see if he will have the courage to show me some real emotion/ leave his current partner. I am currently on day 28 of NC, and the first week I received normal messages then messages panicking that I had blocked him. Then another message telling me that he is so sorry for hurting me and that he loves me (this is the 3rd time he has ever told me that he loves me), then I received a message a week ago telling me that he has made ‘pledges’ to himself to ‘get himself in shape’ so that he can be ‘the man that I deserve’ and that he ‘neeeeeeds to come and see me’ in the country where I live. With no reply, he then took to following me on instagram and liking some photos. Day 30 will arrive soon and I am not sure what to do. I don’t feel like he has given me enough positive contact but I think he actually thinks I have blocked him. If I break NC on day 30, what should I say to him? Or should I wait for a long emotional message about how much he loves me, apologising for being so emotionally unavailable? Thank you for you time in reading this.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 2, 2018 at 8:21 pm

      Hi Emma!

      You should reach out now. In my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” I talk about making exceptions in situations like this where you are far along in the NC period, yet you have gotten multiple positive communications from your ex. You should purchase my Program so you know how to handle the whole post breakup period following NC. In my program, I recommend you initiate contact with a type of text message that will trigger his curiosity. There are lots of them. IN your case, you could simply tell him you have received all of his prior messages and you appreciates their supportive and kind tone. Then take it slow, but build from there ensuring there is balance on who is initiating.

  5. Z

    September 2, 2018 at 6:38 am

    Hi Chris,
    I did no contact for a month, during which my ex would text me “hey how are you” often. I had deleted him from Facebook to which he reacted really angrily, even texted me about it. I never responded!
    After a month, he texted me saying he wanted to return my things and I sent him a bubbly thanks text in response.
    The only time I actually responded was when his cousin passed away a few days ago, he had sent me a text and I responded kindly.
    However, we work in the same orgainsation and he saw me on Friday and in the evening, sent me a text saying “You can say hi sometimes you know.”
    I’m not sure what is going on and how to respond or how to restart communication lines. He has only texted and I know he only knows I removed him from FB because he tried to look at my profile.
    He broke up with me- but our breakup was good. No harsh words, no fighting. Just a conversation and a goodbye. He had even texted me the next morning asking how I was and that I should reach out if I need anything. It’s been about 6 weeks since we broke up now. What should my next move be?

  6. Chelsea gray

    September 1, 2018 at 11:54 pm

    My ex and i broke up 4 days ago and he has contacted a few girls already, let alone his ex. He has expressed that he will want for me to move on too. During our relationship, i cheated on him but then when we got back together, he started to become distant even after months that i was trying to please him. Then when i lost his trust again, over some small thing i did, he broke up with me. He will be leaving on a plane 2 weeks from now. What should i do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 2, 2018 at 3:40 am

      I Chelsea…I know things are hard and very raw given the recency of the breakup and his behavior. I think No Contact would be the best medicine. Its important you understand how to properly implement it as there is a lot more to it than people realize, so take a look at my program to get up to speed!

  7. Daria

    August 31, 2018 at 5:00 am

    Hi Chris, I’ve been reading your articles and seeing some of your Youtube videos and I am so glad I came across you. My problem here is that I can’t really seem to identify my type of ex >< we were together for about 6 months, we had some disagreements of things along the way but he called it a break instead of a break up. He still wants to be friends and he still texts me almost daily.. He told me he would want to try rekindle things after a while but I am afraid he will forget his "promise". I haven't started the nc rule yet but i am planning to do so starting today. I am just worried he might think I am done with him.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 31, 2018 at 2:28 pm

      Hi Daria…glad to hear your are enjoying my website content! You can give him a heads up that you need some quiet time to heal, reflect, and focusing on being the best you given his need to take “a break”. Then begin NC but do it the way I teach as no contact is an active process. Probably best to pick up my Ebook (Pro) or “The No Contact Rule Book” so you are well grounded on how it works!

  8. Dee

    August 30, 2018 at 8:54 am

    My boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me over text message. I tried to call him/text to get more of an explanation. He never responded to any of it. He just said he didnt want to talk. I was the last one to send texts. So I started NC. However, I’m worried it will not work because he is the one who started ignoring me first by not responding to my texts. I dont think he is even aware I am doing NC on him. I feel like he is probably just relieved I’m not frantically texting. He doesnt seem to fit into any of the categories for how men react to NC. It has been 10 days of NC and I’m worried I will look stupid when again it is me making the first move to initiate contact. What should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 31, 2018 at 3:04 am

      Hi Dee….it usually best to complete the whole period of NC. You won’t look stupid if you initiate. You will be the one in control of the time, tone, and tempo of the conversation. And if he does not respond or respond properly…then its his loss.

  9. Elia

    August 16, 2018 at 4:36 am

    So my boyfriend recently broke up with me after 2 years together. He told me that he hadn’t been happy and that he felt like he was forced to be in the relationship. I didn’t really get a specific reason for the break-up, but it seemed like my family is what really drove the wedge between us. We had been “fighting” (I don’t think they were fights, but more like serious discussions) about how he felt like he hadn’t been happy and had felt like our relationship was over for quite some time & he had stop putting in the effort. He did say I was a good and wonderful gf and person, that he would always love me, but that you can love someone and not be with them. He did say how we had our issues and they were manageable, but that he couldn’t be my entire life and that my dad not liking him/giving approval was a big problem and something he couldn’t get over.

    I’m currently on the 4th day and it’s such a struggle because I’m not even sure if he’s going to want to try again. I obviously think we still have a chance because of what it is he told me.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 2:27 pm

      Hi Elia….2 years does count for something and its not easy for a couple to end things after that much time invested. So having an ex recovery plan will help you. Believe in the process of No Contact. But also learn how to employ it correctly! There are ways you can not just focus on your own healing but also help reinforce your value so he notices. Go to my website home page and there you will find a lot of tools and solutions!

  10. Irma

    August 14, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    So what happens after the 30 days? If I don’t hear from him then, does that mean I have to contact him?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 2:57 pm

      Hi Irma!

      If you have not already done so, you should pick up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it will walk you through the whole process after NC. I talk about how you go about making the first initial contact such that you are in control of the process.

  11. Susan

    August 10, 2018 at 8:11 pm

    My boyfriend and I dated for a year. During that time I tried to get him to go skydiving with me repeatedly, he always said no. He repeatedly stated he wasn’t an adrenalin junkie, that it would scare him, that it just wasn’t his thing. We had some issues with communication during the course of our relationship, which ultimately caused a breakup. He broke up with me, but actually I think it was a passive aggressive move to get me to beg him to stay. I did not, I let him walk out. He began dating someone 3 months after we broke up…and went skydiving with them within the first couple of weeks of dating them. She posted it on social media, tagged him, he liked it, I saw it, as we are still friends. What gives? Why would he do this? Is this most likely an intentional thing to hurt me? Or is this a not thinking of me at all and has moved on and suddenly become ok with skydiving? Any help you could give would be appreciated. Thanks

  12. Jenny

    August 10, 2018 at 3:20 pm

    We’ve been together for 15 years and married for 7 years. He cheated on me 1.5 years ago and we’ve been struggling since then. I decided to forgive him but he cannot bear with my pain. He has left home 2 times and come back (about a month each time). He is gone now for the third time. He stopped talking to me since he left. Only responded a few of my messages. He played the angry victim in those interactions. I initiated NC about 4 weeks ago. I still want him back, he is very childish though 🙁 Any advice?

  13. K

    August 9, 2018 at 10:38 pm

    Hi Chris thank you, you helped me a lot. I judt want to ask about my boyfriend of 6 years. He had a crush on his workmate. Basically, he did not tell me about it. I found out that they have a pet names already. I felt betrayed and we had a fight about it. I broke up with him and he did apologize and told me that maybe that is the right thing to do because he is not worth it. For the past 6 years we never had a major fight or problem and we can easily fix our issue. On the day we broke we reconciled and got back together, however he asked me to take things slow. I kept repeating it to his face about the girl and he told me that he cut all communication and avoid the girl. However he is different from before he said he is very guilty of what happened, and he felt terrible whenever he sees me. He asked for space last week, he said he want to fix his self and want to miss me again. I have been avoiding him for the last 5 days and he haven’t texted me. I’m confused, he love me so much before but now he can’t text or call me. Do we still have a chance to get back together? Or would he continue seeing the other girl?

  14. Letisha

    August 6, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    So after a year and a half together my boyfriend and I decided to move in together because his dad’s place wasn’t ideal & we would argue alot being in his dad’s house was very unhygienic and it wasn’t clean so i went and got a rental for us & we moved in together everything was perfect for six weeks he would go to work and I would stay home and Play the perfect little housewife role. so everything was great until he told me that one of his best friends who he works everyday with was going to be having his 30th b.day party out of town 2hrs out of town on a farm there was just one problem he told me I couldn’t go because his friends girlfriend and I don’t like each other so I wasn’t allowed to attend. I became furious I told him that if he were to go to the party I would feel very betrayed so I gave him an ultimatum I told him to choose either to stay in a relationship with me and continue to live together or if he chose to go to his friends party that he would have to move out and we breakup. He had 2 days to think about it and he came home after work and said he was going to the party I got so angry and upset I told him to pack his things and leave I then left the house while he packed after 20 mins I drove back to the house to find him all packed up in his car I ran to the door of his car and told him I love him and that if his happiness meant going to a party then he should go I begged and pleaded him to come back inside but he said know and started driving out the driveway I then jumped in front of the car crying and begging him to stay he got angry because I wouldn’t move then I jumped on the back tray of the car it was a ute he was driving and we sped off down the road he then pulled over and forcefully removes me off the back of the ute he drove away and left me crying on the side of the road. I then walked home only to find the police in my driveway because a person driving past had witnessed the whole fight they had another set of cops around the corner they had pulled him over and arrested him because his licence was expired the cops who dealt with me issued a 72hr temporary violence restraining order against him so he couldn’t come near me but he wasn’t violent toward me it just looked really bad. That night I sent him 4 messages here is the First :
    I know your going to blame me for everything that happened tonight including the cops I don’t know if you got arrested or if you’re even okay but I hope U r..I know ur angry & you will blame it all on me & I’m okay with that if it makes it easier on u that’s fine I’ll take all the blame..babe I put up one last fight tonight bcoz I loved you..I am sorry I acted so crazy & I would like you to know im very hurt by ur decision to choose a party over our relationship but it is what you chose & you’ve made very clear what’s immediately important to you. for what it’s worth & I mean this with all my heart I truly do hope you have the most amazing time at ur friends Party.I wish you well.o.x.

    Here is the second: You wont fight for me or for us I was so so so stupid to think that even after all this time we were actually a family U & I living together as Proper Partners building a life together, I have always come second to your friend I was so stupid to believe I actually had a place in your life that I actually meant anything to you even after all this time..I was Soooo wrong I really couldn’t have been more wrong.
    Here is the 3rd: I came back to the house last night to tell you that I loved you and to tell U that if going to that party meant ur happiness I was willing to accept it I know your going to say that I told you to leave yes I did through hurt and anger at the time but after I drove off & gave myself time to process it I also came back & asked you to stay in our home and talk with me but you chose not to stay regardless of what I was saying. I love you luke & I’m truly sorry for my poor reaction I should have controlled my emotions better that’s something I can work on for my self. I’m also very sorry for whatever happened with the cops it’s my fault..its hard cause ur so stubborn babe & I don’t know why I do stupid shit..

    Here is the 4th: Knowing you better than anyone for almost 2yrs at this point I just know in my heart that even if you wanted to come home & work this out your to bloody stubborn to move & your stubborn ego won’t bring u knocking on my door..so it will remain forever 2 hearts that collided only to find that love lost in the winter of 2018.

    After sending those txts I initiated no contact straight after it’s now been 14 days since it happened and I haven’t heard anything from him I miss him and love him soooo much I just feel so lost I don’t know how to eat sleep or barely breathe anymore please help me.

  15. Meg

    August 5, 2018 at 4:49 am

    My boyfriend of 3.5 years moved out two months ago. Unsure of what he wanted. Afraid things would go back to the way they were (a fight here and there). My son is almost 5. He has been in my sons life since he was 1. He was coming and going over he last two months, saying he wanted to be around but couldn’t give me the answers I was looking for. He’s playing the victim, thinking I did him wrong, but also says things between us had been getting better. One day he wants to go to counseling, the next day he doesn’t. He spent all last weekend with us but never stayed the night. Then I get a text at 3 am saying we need to move on because things haven’t been good for a while.
    I told him I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. He can’t keep coming and going at his convenience..

    It’s been a week of no contact, when should I reach out? Advice?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 6:46 pm

      Hi Meg!

      First of all, it is advantageous that you both have been together 3+ years. Yes, some guys can play victim. It seems prudent that you are employing no contact as that is what it may take to jar him into the reality of what he is actually suggesting. Most NC periods are 21-45 days. Its different for everyone. And since their is a child involved, you may want to make modifications (limited No Contact). Best to have an ex recovery plan that helps you with your recovery and helps you with getting him back if you settle in on that is what you ultimately want. Visit my home page for tools and resources that can help!

  16. zoey

    July 27, 2018 at 9:38 pm

    Hi Chris
    how are you? told you two days ago that my ex did not tell me the truth about where he is going,he told me that he is in UAE while he is in Canda and i asked you what suppose i do? should i respect his privacy??
    there is sth else,yesterday and today while we are chatting,he is so much cold and just reply what i am asking,he was trying to not ignoring my messages but i felt he is not with me,do you think i stop chatting and give him some space?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 28, 2018 at 4:42 am

      Hi Zoey!

      I think for now you let it rest, but eventually let it rest. The bigger question is do you have an ex recovery plan in place. If not, look into my ebooks or tap into the content on this site to help guide. It may very well be time to go into NC

  17. Mona

    May 13, 2018 at 3:41 am

    Okay, Hi..my ex and I have been split since three months ago.. The first month i begged and so on.. The second month i did nc, i did a mistake by telling him i love him afterwards.. We were “Friends” the third month.. He often told me that he no longer has any feelings, but we met often and it seemed like he does have some left. Now i got to know that he is in a new relationship. I dont know since when but he didnt tell me even though we both agreed on doing so, if we found a new partner. He however, was acting extremely jealous when he found out I was wrtiting my childhood friend again that is into me and when we met he often tried to make me jealous. He also always asked me for my opinion and it was really important to him.. If i start no contact, will i still have a chance with him, or is it over for me? Oh and i think that i should mention that we slept together not long ago before he got into the relationship..

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2018 at 4:59 am

      Hi Mona..thanks for dropping in! I see that you have been up and down the roller coaster and cycles of a breakup. His jealousy signs do suggest that there may be some unresolved feelings and notions that he is holding on to about you. Its unclear if this new relationship he is in has legs or if it will fall into the rebound category. It may turn out that his sense of your worth and value may change for the positive after he gets more involved in the other relationship. Or it could go the other way. If you wish to optimize your chances…there are things you can do. Certainly NC is one of them. But its what you do during and after the no contact period that matters a lot.You are probably looking for actionable solutions, right? Well, the good news is that I created various resources to help folks like yourself. Just go to my website’s Menu Section and click on “Products” link. You will learn there are lots a ways to better your situation! You don’t have to do thi by your lonesome!

  18. Dee

    May 3, 2018 at 12:53 am

    Hello, what if I said he was from stubborn down. We have lived together for 3plus years, AND I have left before briefly. Many things involved but why do we keep doing this.? I do want to spend many years and life with him but he believes more is out there. ..midlife crisis? Really has no heart ? Any guidance, ps he is a narcissistic and vain man ..he named himself that …why , neither are healthy or something to be boastful of..maybe I’m wrong ..light n love

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 3, 2018 at 2:08 am

      Hi Dee..You know…I think you should consider joining my Private Facebook Support Group (consist of about 1500 members…mostly women). There is so much going on in your life and I think you might benefit from the Group. There is lots of synergy and the ladies help each other. I do weekly live webcasts there also.

      My sense is you need to create and let your emotions settle in and then ask yourself, do you really want to invest yourself in a guy who is vain, narcissistic and puts you second? Will he change…if not can you accept that. Those are important questions to explore.

  19. Dee

    May 3, 2018 at 12:44 am

    Help

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 3, 2018 at 2:10 am

      What’ going on Dee!

    2. Dee

      May 5, 2018 at 1:16 am

      Hello, just trying to understand the silence from him on his end.then the communications that leave me wondering why? He has repeatedly stated he wants to retire, and needs a woman that will help..just frustrated.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 3:58 am

      Hi Dee….some behaviors are unexplained when we drill down to specific individuals. Probably best not to try and make sense of it right now. Perhaps later, there will be greater meaning. It’s that way with a lot of things relating to relationships. People are not always rational and logical.

  20. Bobbi

    April 25, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    Hi! I dated my ex for a total of four years. We were doing fine a month ago when I went to see him (we are long distance.) After I saw him, he stopped texting me as often and we were fighting about it. I know he was unhappy at work. Suddenly, one day, he asks for a month break where I cannot contact him at all. I was confused and hurt and asked if we could talk about it instead. In the end, I ended up breaking up with him because, to be honest, he was being a dick. Now, he won’t talk to anyone (his friends, parents, me, etc.) and his mom (who I am very close with) says he is not doing anything he loves to do. Is there a chance of me getting him back?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 25, 2018 at 11:42 pm

      Hi Bobbi..Yes, I think there is upside here. First off, 4 years is a good amount of time for there to be some roots laid down and its not just easy to pull them all up and forget the person. So obviously, something is going on here. The truth of that will eventually come out. Meanwhile, you should consider implementing your own No Contact, but do it for yourself…your own healing and well being. Go pick up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it is an epic, detail Companion Guide that will help all the way through this process and better your chances. Let me know how it goes Bobbi!

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