What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back

I Regret Breaking Up With My Ex Boyfriend; How Can I Get Him Back?

Sometimes we make decisions and we feel a sense of peace, secure with the knowledge that the choice was right, like a weight has been lifted off our chest.
But other times, we start feeling a prickling feeling on the back of our neck, and a nagging feeling that something is not quite right.

When we break up with someone, we, as women, tend to put a lot of thought into it. There are actually studies that show that women tend to take longer to break up with someone, but tend to stick to their decision, while men are more likely to make a snap decision and end the relationship. But they are also more likely to come back.

The good news, though, is that if you ended things with your ex boyfriend but have since decided you want him back, you are already at an advantage, as you were the one to end things.

Many of the steps are the same as if you had been the one to be dumped, but there are some key differences in how you approach things, most importantly beginning with the first step, which is to take some time to assess your initial reasoning for the breakup, and do some serious thinking as to what you really want.

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Work out Your Emotions Logically

I cannot stress enough how important it is that you are absolutely sure you want your exboyfriend back before fully throwing yourself into the ExBoyfriend Recovery Program.

The last thing that you want is to get back together with your ex, only to realize your initial reasons for ending the relationship were completely valid, thereby breaking the poor guy’s heart all over again.

I have some experience with this. I was with my first boyfriend way longer than I should have been. I didn’t know how to end things, and so the extremely unhealthy relationship went on for years longer than it should have. Finally, I was able to break up with him. Then months passed. I experienced my first heartbreak 6 months later, and began to miss my first boyfriend. I missed how doting he was, how stable our relationship had felt, how I never questioned his love for me.

I briefly considered trying to see if he would be open to rekindling things again, but after a couple of days of mulling it over, I realized none of those reasons had to do with him. They had to do with being in a relationship. I was lonely and sad and wanted someone to love me. But I didn’t love my ex boyfriend. Going back to him would not have solved any of my problems long term. It only would have fulfilled my need in the moment to not feel like I was alone, and I would absolutely have ended it again. And that wouldn’t have been fair to him, or to me.

Ultimately, it’s a good thing that I didn’t go back to him, because in hindsight, the relationship was extremely tenuous and he was a very possessive, insecure guy who ended up being kind of a creepshow. Dodged that bullet.

So I implore you to do some thinking. You should take some time to assess your reasons for wanting your ex back regardless, but especially if you were the one to end the relationship.

So, if you are wondering how you know if you made the right decision, and you find yourself asking

“Was it a mistake in letting him go?”

“Did I do the Right Thing?”

“What if I broke up with the one?”

Ask yourself the following:

  • Do I miss him, or do I just miss being in a relationship?
  • Am I just lonely?
  • Do I miss the security/stability/familiarity?
  • Am I scared that I’ll never find someone as good for me as he is?
  • Do I simply not want him to be with anyone else?
  • Am I scared to start dating again?

All of these questions are in the same vein: being afraid of the future – yours and his. However, none of these are good reasons to stay with someone. And it is completely normal to regret a decision even if you know it was the right one to make. Part of it is missing that connection, the feeling of being part of a couple.

You will find someone to love you again, but more importantly, you need to take some time to learn to love yourself. Your ex boyfriend may well end up moving on before you. But you have to respect him, and that fact. We all want to be wanted, and I know well the feeling of seeing your ex move on and feeling jealous, even though you were the one to end it. We all want to be the best the one person has ever had, and to live on in their memory as the pinnacle of their happiness. But that simply cannot be. If you decide to let your ex go, let him go fully, with no strings attached.

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Societal Expectations

I wrote about this recently on Ex Girlfriend Recovery, but I think it is worth mentioning here as well.

We, as women, face a lot of expectations from society, ranging from how we look, to how we act, to our career or lack thereof. But I won’t get on my feminist soapbox.

What I want to talk about is the societal expectation that women should get married and have babies.

Though this is changing, people make the assumption that these are primary stepping stones in a women’s life. There are even harsh names and stereotypes used for women who haven’t settled down, like “old maid” or “cat lady.” Not to mention, women also have that pesky biological clock. If you want to have children, you are best having your first one by age 35, and if women are to follow society’s dumb expectations, they should be married for some time before embarking on parenthood.

Both of these expectations combined put way more pressure on women to be paired up in a relationship than men. Men don’t have a biological clock, and they are taught from a young age that their careers should be number one, while women tend to prize their relationships with friends and family.

This is a huge thing that I think facilitated my motives in thinking about gtting my ex boyfriend back. I am in my late 20’s, and do eventually want to settle down and have a family one day. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to find someone as perfect as my ex boyfriend, in what I perceived was “limited time.” After time passed, though, I realized that I am quite the catch, and wouldn’t be alone for long. Not to mention, there are so many quality guys out there, many of whom are a better match for me than my ex boyfriend was.

I mention this because these expectations may have something to do with the fears that I listed above, whether consciously or unconsciously. When you are mulling over your reasons for wanting your ex back, take your idea of your role and your expected life path into account. You may be surprised what you uncover.

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Getting Him Back

Okay, so say you do all of this emotional work and you decide that you did indeed make a mistake and are desperate to get your ex boyfriend back?

Luckily, the steps are pretty similar to the normal Ex Boyfriend Recovery Process, with a few modifications.

No Contact: So we know that No Contact and self-improvement is an important (if not THE MOST important) part of the process. This is also true if you were the one to end the relationship. Not only should you take the time to consider if ending the relationship is the right call, but you should also give your ex boyfriend space. If you ended things, it’s likely that your ex boyfriend is hurting deeply. You need to give him the time to heal. Yes, he may go out and try to rebound, but you broke up with him. He is allowed to do that. Don’t forgo No Contact just because of that fear. In all likelihood, the idea of you dating around will help him miss you more.

So, to answer your question,

“Can I get him back?”

YES!

Absolutely!

You just have to 100% commit to the Program.

Embrace No Contact as a time to reset.

Make some changes in your life. Even if you were the one to end things, I’m sure that your ex boyfriend had his complaints about you and the relationship. Start working on some of those points so that when you start building rapport, he can see how much you’ve changed.

Rapport Building: I’m not sure what the circumstances of your breakup were. Maybe you cheated or left him for someone else, maybe he was being an immature bum and you were sick of it so you walked away. Whatever the circumstances, though, it’s likely your ex will have a hard time trusting you again.

Imagine if your ex boyfriend came back after ending things – it would be hard to trust him 100% right away again, right? So in addition to all of the other rapport building you’ll be doing, you need to work on regaining trust. And this right here is why you need to be 100% sure that being with him is what you want.

So how does one rebuild trust? Be as truthful as possible. If you make plans, don’t flake, stick to them. Work on regaining emotional intimacy. I think the best way to do that is to talk candidly about the past once the topic of beginning a new relationship is broached. Be as genuine as possible with your ex boyfriend.

He’s been hurt, so it’s going to take some work to destroy the walls that he has up, but if you can get him to open up and be vulnerable (a difficult thing for men to do because of society’s expectations), you’re on the right track to getting your man back.

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Buffy and Riley

Even though I hate this pairing, I could not help but think of Buffy and her college boyfriend, Riley while writing this article. It is one of the main times in the series where we see Buffy question her decision regarding one of her romantic relationships.

Riley gets into some dark stuff which I won’t go into here, and Buffy finds out and is hurt and furious. Riley has an opportunity to accept a job that was take him far away from Sunnydale, and he tells Buffy he is going to go “unless you give me a reason to stay.”

Because of her pride, Buffy is stubborn, though it is clear she is torn. But then her friend Xander says the following to her:

“But you missed the point. You shut down, Buffy. And you’ve been treating Riley like the rebound guy. When he’s the one that comes along once in a lifetime. He’s never held back with you. He’s risked everything. And you’re about to let him fly because you don’t like ultimatums? If he’s not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn’t there, let him go. Break his heart, and make it a clean break. But if you really think you can love this guy… I’m talking scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need… if you’re ready for that… then think about what you’re about to lose.”
– Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Into the Woods”

Now, I have my own problems with this speech (and with Xander in general), but I think the passage (especially the end of it), makes clear what I mean when I talk about making the decision to try to get your ex back. If you know, deep in your gut that this guy isn’t for you, but you’re scared to let go, be brave and cut the cord. But if you come to the conclusion you made a mistake and want to try again with this guy, then fight for him. “Run.” as Xander says.

Once you’ve made the active decision that your exboyfriend is the guy for you, you should proceed the same as you would in any other situation. But be aware your ex may be hurt, and it may take more work to push through the emotional wall he’s put up.

They key is to get him to trust you again. And not in a manipulative, desperate way, but in a way full of patience, devotion, and love.

So, here is what we’re are prepared to do for you.

Let’s have a chat about your situation in the comments below.

  1. Tell me what your relationship was like before the breakup.
  2. What your breakup was actually like?
  3. What you have done since breakup?

And I will help you get to the bottom on if you have a good, average or low chance of getting your ex back. From there  We’ll equip you so you will be able to make a smart decision on how you want to approach this regret that you are dealing with.

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Ashley.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

EBR Team Member: Ashley

37 thoughts on “I Regret Breaking Up With My Ex Boyfriend; How Can I Get Him Back?”

  1. Terri

    December 1, 2017 at 11:22 am

    I broke up with him with zero warning last week because of pictures he liked on fb. I blocked him and didn’t allow him to explain. Once I cooled off, I reached out. He said I broke his heart that he loves me and had considered putting a ring on my finger. He said I had thrown away our future. We talked and agreed to try again. That conversation was last Friday night. All this week, he has had the flu and has barely communicated at all or made any effort to keep in touch. He will only reply if I reach out. I told him if he has had a change or heart and does not want to try again, to let me know. He said he does want to work it out and is sorry and is just very sick. That was a couple days ago. I finally sent him another long emotional text saying basically that he obviously doesn’t want to try so I change my mind and don’t want to work it out either. Now of course, I haven’t heard from him. I have not tried to reach out since. Nor has he. What do I do? Have I lost him for good? He did tell me a few days ago there was no other and that there would be no other that his love for me is real. He treated me like a queen and I let my jealousy interfere. But to me him being sick was an excuse. Yes he was sick, but would that really keep a man from staying in contact with the woman he supposedly loves?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 4, 2017 at 6:38 am

      Hi Terri,

      how long were together? and how many times have you broken up?

  2. Ha Thu Nguyen

    November 30, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    Hello,
    I broke up with my LDR ex more than one month ago because he kept saying he was tired and needed time. I was angry so I did the breakup thru msg, whennhe saw that he blocked me immediately. A week later i texted him on messenger said i was sorry and didnt mean that. He said he was too tired and thought that was clear for both of us and told me to not make him upset more.
    I was hurt and went no contact immediately for 30 days. Yesterday i texted him the first msg which is very positive like i was hanging out and something reminded me of him. He texted back asked me how i am. Then i texted back ok, sorry for the bitter word i said when breakup and hope we can be friends. He said doesnt want friends, not want keep contact with ex.
    That disappoints me so much while i feel im on good track.
    What should be my next move?
    Thanks a lot
    Hope to get your reply soon
    Ha

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2017 at 8:40 pm

      Wrong kind of text..dont apologize and ask to be friends because that looks like you’re chasing… That means you either have to do one last nc of 45 days or move on.

  3. Justine

    November 29, 2017 at 12:46 am

    Hi Amor,
    I’ve been building rapport for a month. Our date is coming up in a few days and I’m worried he will flake…What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2017 at 2:54 pm

      If he does, go out with your friends or by yourself on that day

  4. Annabelle

    November 28, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    Hi Ashley, thanks for your time and loooking forward to hearing your thoughts and advice.

    I dated my ex boyfriend for half a year and was blissfully happy with him until I found out about the girl he’d been seeing casually before me and that they had continued to sleep together multiple times after he started dating me, although I knew he had since stopped. He denied it and told me he wanted a future with me and had no feelings for her anymore. I however continued to read his phone secretly and torture myself with the information, the girl was also harassing me and sending me messages, and after a month of this I felt I had to break up with him.

    For the next month he continued to contact me and try to see me, I was polite about it but always refused and in the end was just blowing him off. I was also really active on social during this time. It was all a defense mechanism because I still had feelings for him and was too scared to meet up, although I wanted to. Then he stopped being in touch after a month.

    Another month passed and during this time I worked on myself, was really active with friends, traveled, did a lot of yoga, and released the anger I had about him, realized how truly special what we had is and how much I just want to be honest and open, instead of sneakily reading messages etc. He made mistakes and we both have issues to work on but I believe we can, and that we are right for each other, and I would like to start fresh. I reached out and contacted him, we spoke a couple times and met up to have a drink and for him to give me my things. I didn’t bring up wanting to get back together yet. He seemed quite sad and shaken up to be around me and seemed to have really missed me, but we just kept it light and made small talk, I figured I would bring things up next time.

    After that he went on a 1-2 week trip and while he was gone I noticed he had become Facebook friends with a random girl he had no mutual friends with a week before his trip and he was publicly posting flirty messages with her on his wall, which seems really out of character. When he got back I contacted him to see if we could meet up again. He told me yes but that he wanted to let me know he is seeing someone else right now so it wouldn’t be awkward. I replied truthfully and told him that I had been thinking about him since we met up and had wanted to see how he feels about us but that since he has a new gf I will just leave it now and good luck. He didn’t reply and it has been 2 weeks now.

    The other girl is complete and total opposite of me, and when I checked I could see she had been stalking my social media before I even knew about her.

    I don’t know what to do at this point and would appreciate your help and suggestions.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2017 at 2:25 pm

  5. Gabrielle

    November 28, 2017 at 11:59 am

    Hello EX Boyfriend Recovery Team! I broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half months based off impulse. My boyfriend is very anti-social so he has no social media and does not talk to much people for personal reasons I know of. I believed the rumors of others and confronted him about them (there was no cheating, etc) He denied them but since I was so emotional at the time, I wasn’t really listening to what he was saying., I was pretty much a bitch to him and as he even said “im here still to talk to you” i would reply “bye” after every response he gave me. I got so frustrated broke it offf saying “I hope you treat your next girl right” and told him how much I love him but I dont know anymore. The next day it didnt feel right breaking up with him that i sent a text saying call be back im sorry i want to work things out, no response. I called later that day no response and texted “baabe please answer i feel horrible” its been a few days i havent heard from him. We were in a LDR andour families are friends. 1. our relationship was fine before the break up 2. I basically wrote above lol 3. I havent contacted him since because he hasnt answered me back. Im scared because I really care for him a lot which I argued with him in the first place (0ver a matter of his). Thanks team for your time 🙂

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2017 at 1:38 pm

      Just give him time…maybe a week and then contact him again..

  6. Gisele

    November 28, 2017 at 12:58 am

    Hello EXBR team,
    I recently broke up with my boyfriend two days ago off impulse. I went a little too far with our mini argument and basically told him things I do not mean. I went off on what people were telling me and not listening to him. I basically believed others than him. I feel I dragged out the arguement more than I should have instead of listening. I acted very immature and petty and saying bye everytime he responded back to my text. After I said “hopefully you treat your next girl right” and some other things he didn’t reply back. I texted him the next day to apologize and he didn’t answer I also called and texted a bit later that day telling him I feel horrible for the day before. I haven’t heard from him then. What steps should I take in order to get him back but also I want to know why he may not be replying back. I regret breaking it off because it just doesn’t feel right. Also he doesn’t have social media and we’re long distance. Also, we’re our families are friends lol. Thanks team for your time!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2017 at 1:39 pm

      Just give him time…maybe a week and then contact him again..

  7. N

    November 27, 2017 at 7:36 pm

    Hey there!
    I broke up with my ex 3 months ago. We were together for a year and had an amazing relationship, despite our differences, and us belonging to different faiths. However, he moved away to USA 4 months back for further studies. I’m from India and the distance did daunt me initially but when he suggested we continue long distance, I agreed. But only coz he was going away, I was always insecure about our future. Friends would ask me questions like, “If you aren’t sure about a future together, what’s the point of doing long distance?” As logical as that may sound, I still wanted to give it a shot because he sounded so confident about it and we trusted each other a lot. But, after a month, I let my insecurities regarding a future get the better of me and decided to end things. He was really heartbroken, but a few days later, I regretted the decision and pleaded him to get back. But he obviously didn’t want to, and said that we should just talk and take things slow instead, and this went on for 3 months with fights and arguments on and off. I realised it was a terrible idea as we ended up fighting a lot, probably coz both of our emotions were all over the place. He became really hypersensitive after the breakup as I abandoned him when he was feeling vulnerable in a totally new place. We had a fight again recently after which I sent a damage control message of sorts and immediately started No Contact, about 5 days ago. He didn’t respond to that text or try reaching out to me ever since. My situation is a little more complex probably coz of the different faiths and distance factors. Please do let me know if I can do anything else to make my situation better and win him back.
    Thanks a lot!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 2:11 am

      Hi N,

      it’s not yet too late, check this one:
      Learn How She Got Her Long Distance Ex Boyfriend Back

  8. N

    November 26, 2017 at 5:41 pm

    Hey there!
    My ex and I were together for a year and then he moved to USA for further studies. We had an amazing relationship while he was here, so he suggested we do long distance, though I was always apprehensive as we were uncertain about having a future together as we belong to different faiths; so doing long distance seemed pointless. But, I thought I’ll give it a shot as it was too early to think about marriage and we weren’t settled yet career wise. Again, I kept having these thoughts coz of the societal pressures, like it’s been mentioned in the above article. But a month later, I broke it off coz I got very insecure that he’ll leave me. I was also very insecure coz my first ex had cheated on me. So, I sort of let that creep into this relationhip as well a couple of times, and jeapordized it this time. But in my heart, I know that he never did me any wrong, and in fact, loved me unconditionally from day one. And now, I really want to get him back.
    We continued talking for 3 months after the breakup as friends (which was a blunder coz it only made the situation worse as we were both hurt and ended up fighting a lot). I hence decided to start No Contact 2 days back. Am I too late? He’s also very stubborn as a person so I’m not sure if he’ll reach out to me during NC. He was very hurt coz I dumped him when he was at his most vulberable in a foreign country. I’m guessing it’ll take a long while before he brings down the walls he’s built around him. Please let me know if I can do anything else to make my situation better.
    Thanks!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 2:11 am

      Hi N,

      it’s not yet too late, check this one:
      Learn How She Got Her Long Distance Ex Boyfriend Back

  9. Tatianna

    November 26, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    Tell me what your relationship was like before the breakup.
    Our relationship was pretty good. Sure we had our ups and downs but every relationship has them. We met as friends before parting ways, he had to go back to his home country. We then became a long distance couple and he came back for me and stayed with me for about 4 months until he had to leave again. The first month after he left was pretty fine but then after a fight over phone call, he stopped calling and we just messaged each other. The messages became more brief and were less frequent. A month later, I broke up with him because he felt distant to me. He says he understood my decision and that it was all his fault because he was too busy with school and work and became very emotionally distant towards people – his friends, family and me, but says he wishes to communicate sometimes and maybe we can meet again someday. I wished him the best but after a day, I felt so bad as I never knew he was undergoing a lot of pressure from his situation in his home country and I felt like I was being selfish on breaking up with him. In the spur of the moment, I sent him a message saying if we can rekindle our relationship someday when the time is right. He only tells me I’ll probably be having a change of heart when that time comes and says that I should also focus on myself. It has been 2 days since our breakup and it’s really hitting me pretty bad. I wanna get back with him but we live apart, next January I will be moving to a closer country to his but I still don’t know if we can get back together.

  10. BB

    November 24, 2017 at 9:45 pm

    I broke up with my ex a few days ago via email. He works in a remote location and we have no other way to communicate. We have been together for 3 years. I’m 31, he’s mid-30’s. We were arguing before I broke up with him because we seem to be having the same arguments with him not trusting me and accusing me of things and me wanting more out of the relationship like in the early days. I want to feel more secure and appreciated and for him to make more effort like I do. I’m at a point in my life where I want to start talking about getting married and having a family. I’ve worked hard on my career and finances to allow me to do this without struggling. I told him a few months back that these are things I want in my life. He said he isn’t going to be pressured into anything and doesn’t care either way if we do those things but in saying that, that I’m the first woman he’s been with that he would consider doing those things with and he told me the kind of wedding he would want with me (in quite a bit of detail). We haven’t spoken about it since but I have seen him looking in the ring section of jewellery stores a few times. Considering this arguing, I felt that if he probably doesn’t want those things with me (or he would have just said so) or to improve our relationship and that I should just end things and move on with my life. I feel like I regret breaking up with him because I know how good we can be. If I start trying to work on us getting back together, can I attach conditions to it? I want things to go back to how they were in the first two years where we both made an effort. How do you fit that into the process? When we start building rapport after NC do I just start bringing up things I miss from back then?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 27, 2017 at 5:24 am

      Hi Bb,

      Bring those up once you get him back..not in the time that you’re rebuilding rapport

  11. Ava

    November 24, 2017 at 12:47 pm

    We were together for about a month and a half but we were friends a few months before we started dating. We were long distance but he lived in my hometown which was cool. I had helped in through a really tough spot in his life. And not long after I asked if he liked me and he said yes. BUt anyways. I came out as bisexual to him and we “broke” up. We never really said, “I want to break up.” But we basically did. He called me a day or two after the breakup. So he broke the no contact rule, so I don’t know what that means? He has had 2 relationships after me. I’ve tried to date other people but it hasn’t worked out. I really miss him and want to try to get back with him. But, I don’t know how he’ll react if I try to contact him. I’m really nervous but I want him back .What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 4:56 pm

      Hi Ava,

      No contact rule means you’re the only one knowing that you’re doing it.. That means if he calls or texts you, you don’t answer.. Restart nc, do at least 30 days..

  12. K.

    November 24, 2017 at 5:33 am

    Sorry, Amor – the part containing my question got cut off for some reason when I was writing and I didn’t realize it until now. Yes, I actually wondered about both things, but especially about what was the suggested step to take next in this case. As for the chances of him changing, I didn’t presume NC itself would make him change, but he did say that he would take the time to really think about his actions, etc (so it kind of gave me a bit of hope he would actually do something with how he behaves). Still, thanks for telling me this – I’ll try not to have any expectations regarding this.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 2:54 pm

      That’s ok.. Do nc.. Try at least 30 days.. Focus in improving yourself and be active in posting

  13. Justine

    November 23, 2017 at 9:20 pm

    1. We were dating casually for 2 months. He told me he was really looking forward to a relationship with me and things were going so smoothly. He’d call me every week, and we’d text all the time. He had plans every week. We had a lot of fun together, took things slow (only kissed after 5 dates) and we had common goals and vision for life.
    2. I thought he lied to me. He tried to explain and call but I didn’t wanna hear him out. I was a few months out of a toxic relationship and I had a hard time trusting. I basically blew up on him then cut him off. I didn’t talk to him for 6 months.
    3. I worked on myself A LOT. I moved into a new apartment with friends. I’m starting pursue my dreams outside of work. I started classes on things I never thought I could do, like acting, yoga and dance. I do a lot of self care now and actively worked on healing my past wounds.
    Basically, I reached out to him and ended up apologizing. I got out there and realized we had a lot in common and really understood each other. He was really receptive and asked me to dinner. I went and we had a blast. He told me how he missed me and how good we could be together. But that was a month ago. He goes days without texting but he mostly contacts me to set up plans. We had plans a week ago, but he flakes and rescheduled for next week. I’m always sweet to him and understanding but I can’t lie, it hurts my ego lol He used to not be like this. When we first dated, he was much more attentive, always texted and never ever flaked. I feel like I’m being jerked around with mixed signals but then again, I get it cuz of how you said I have to rebuild trust. Any advice for me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 2:36 pm

      Hi Justine,

      How long have you been building rapport?

  14. Rhea

    November 23, 2017 at 2:35 pm

    Me & my bf broke up about 3 months ago. We met through fb & were in a relationship for 4/5 months. And we broke up on mutual understanding but after our break up I started missing him and asked him to meet me twice but both the times he said he was busy with his work. And after that i went on NC and it’s been about 2 months that we haven’t talked with each other. I also deleted him from all my social media. But he doesn’t seem to care about that and I don’t think he misses me. But I cry every night because I miss him a lot. He hasn’t texted or called me yet. And he hasn’t deleted the sketch of him that made from his Instagram.Does it mean he still has some feelings for me or is he over me?How can I get him back without looking needy? HELP!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 12:51 pm

      Hi Rhea

      Nc period means you have to be active in improving and posting..just make your posts public if you’re not friends.. Do that first..after 21 days initiate contact.. Take everything as a restart and think as if he had moved on..

  15. Sammie

    November 23, 2017 at 7:13 am

    We were together for 10 months and LD for 6 months. LD came so natural for us. We were so in love it felt like we were made for each other! The last time we got to spend quality time together was 4 months before I broke up with him. During the last month before the breakup he had started getting more distant, less affectionate and I felt like I was being ignored more often than not. We would have these micro fights because I wasn’t getting attention from him. I could feel myself overcompensating in the relationship and becoming obsessed with him. It wasn’t until I heard an unconfirmed rumor that he was snap chatting a girl he used to sleep with about coming to visit her. I called him at least 20 times and sent multiple texts. He agreed to call me when he could. I wanted for 4 hours and he never called. I ended the relationship via voicemail and have not heard from him since. That same night that He deleted his Snapchat account all together. I sent a simple “I’m sorry” text two nights later but I immediately started NC. I have learned how to breathe on my own again and be myself! I’m Learning how to love myself and be independent again!! I know he loved and missed me still. I just feel like I was immature about the whole situation and I’m learning to grow from it.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 12:09 pm

      Hi Sammie,

      That’s good that you’re learning.. Check this one:
      Stage 5 Clinger – Getting A Boyfriend Back If You Were Too Clingy

  16. Dainah

    November 22, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    2 year relationship. We had a solid relationship. Lots of excitement. Lots of laughter. Loads of memorable moments. We were each other’s best friend. We lived together for a year. The break up happened 2 months ago because of an explosive argument, hurtful things were said by both parties. Which resulted in me breaking up with him by packing all my things in his apartment and leaving him without telling him.
    Post breakup… Completed 30 days no contact. Focusesd on my fitness goals, focusing on becoming a better version of myself. Took up new hobbies. Gone on a few dates. Been posting actively on social media. Been aggressively working on my anger issues and communication skills. Reached out to my ex and tried to build rapport. Got rejected by him. Waited 2 weeks before contacting him again and now he seems more receptive via text and responses vary from nuetral to mostly positive, but I can tell his guard is still way up! I want him back but How long before I should move on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 4:01 am

      Hi Dainah,

      You’re just starting to build rapport.. after two months if there’s no progress, move on.

  17. Dainah

    November 22, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    Hi Ashley, I broke up with my ex boyfriend 2 months ago (we had a massive agrgument and I moved out of his apartment while he was at work and took ALL my things and never told him I was leaving or moving out). There was no cheating. Our communication was just messed up. I Successfully completed no contact. I initiated contact and tried to build rapport via text. He answers immediately and his responses varies from nuetral to positive. Once I felt that it was time to move to the next step, I called him. We spoke amicably and he told me that it will take him a very very long time till he starts dating again and then BOOM he starts blaming me for the breakup and saying things like, “this breakup was what you wanted”, “this is the choices you made and now you have to live with it”. He brought up the fact that I now have a new activity that we were supposed to do together but I’m now doing it with some one else (a very close male friend)… He was so jealous! He turned down my offer to hang out over coffee and said that he isn’t ready to see me yet and he doesn’t want to see me and that seeing me is not helping him. He also said I shouldn’t text him and that reminding him of the positive memories we had confuses him because he doesn’t know why I’m bringing it up. I politely said I respected him and I respected his decision. Then 4 days after that phone call he texts me at 6am with a random question about a document he is looking for and asked if I know where it is. I responded by saying that I have it and it got mixed up in my documents. I asked if he needed it urgently and he repsponded and said no, he was just wondering where it was and he will pick it up when he visits him parents (who live 5 minutes from my house). After the last correspondence I waited 2 more weeks before I texted to build rapport and he seems more receptive. he even said he is proud of me for losing weight and making positive changes. I told him that I am thankful to be able to know him and his response was “same here, we live and we learn”. I want him back but I don’t know if I should continue or just move on. Am I wasting my time?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 4:01 am

      Hi Dainah,

      You’re just starting to build rapport.. after two months if there’s no progress, move on.

  18. Jenkins

    November 22, 2017 at 9:26 am

    We were in a long distance relationship. We had our ups and downs but it was pretty good. Then he stopped giving me time and u became anxious. I cried a lot. He’d sooth me by talking to me but then not give me time again and talk to me about 10 min a day. Then i got angry and he accused me of not giving him space when he hung up on me without warning when his friends came and didn’t call back hours after.
    I know he loves me a lot. He’s done a lot for me. He has flirted with one girl on instagram.. a friend of his sis while we were fighting once.
    I broke up with him cause he wasn’t giving me time and i didn’t think it would work considering the time i Needed with him suffocated him.
    But now i miss him. If i call him he answers and even cries. Sometimes even says let’s get back together but then i remember how he didn’t give me time and i say no.
    What do i do now
    I want him to become the old bf i had. The one who doted on me. I don’t wanna let him go. I know he’s the one. Should i do no contact? If i do he doesn’t contact me at all and it scares me that he’ll move on 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 3:45 am

      Hi Jenkins,

      Have you said that to him? If yes, what did he say?

  19. K.

    November 21, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    Hello!
    This article is something I really needed. I posted a message on some other article last week and received a useful feedback, but I think getting some more insight, especially in the case of me being the one to initiate breakup, will be even better.
    So…
    1. We broke up almost a month ago after three beautiful years filled with mutual love and understanding. The relationship between us was truly fabulous until the holidays before our last year of the uni – previously, he was caring, devoted, and quite romantic, showering me with compliments, gifts, etc. (I did the same for him). In other words, we seemed to be a perfect match. Then, he realized that living with his parents and taking care of his little brother offered him much more benefits than taking responsibility for his life and becoming independent. I could tell that he didn’t really know what he wanted after all aside from avoiding adult life, and he became really confused about our relationship. Although I didn’t force him to make any serious decisions at that point, I did express my dissatisfaction with how immature he was (he had a choice of getting a job or babysitting his brother for some pocket money from his parents… he chose the latter).
    2. Our breakup was rather intense… I actually regret that I broke up with him in such negative circumstances, but I couldn’t stand being taken for granted anymore (he honestly paid 100% of his attention to the chores he had to do at home, didn’t bother to call me or send me any message, I had to initiate EVERYTHING at that point and still felt unwanted).
    3. I’ve been doing everything to become the UG – working out, looking perfect, finding new friends, engaging in new hobbies. I think it shows, because a lot of people have been telling me I look fantastic, satisfied with life, and healthy. Also, I keep working on improving those traits of mine that might’ve affected our relationship.
    Now, I do regret breaking up with him to some extent… While I am fully aware that I don’t need him to be happy (the NC period really served me well and I realized many things about myself), we definitely had a very deep connection and before we became a couple, we formed an incredibly strong friendship. Therefore, he will always be welcome in my life and I actually hope he will realize that he’s not Peter Pan and growing up is unavoidable (he actually never had problems with adulthood until it dawned on him that it equals more responsibilities that taking care of his younger brother and doing favors for his parents) even for his own sake…
    That’s all. Thank you, EBR Team, for providing people with valuable help and tremendous support – I can’t even express how grateful I am for all the advice that enabled me to survive the breakup and become a much better version of myself!

    K.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 3:14 am

      Hi k,

      I’m not sure what you’re inquiring about..correct me if I’m wrong. Are we you asking if he will change? How to get him back if you’re the one who broke up? If its the latter,after nc period slowly rebuild rapport..but othat doesn’t mean he will change because of nc

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