This guide is going to teach you everything you’d ever want to know about how to get a guy back after a breakup.
For well over half a decade I have dedicated my life to uncovering the truth behind what actually works to get your man back. This page is going to teach you everything I’ve learned so that you can apply it to your own situation and hopefully see results.
Oh, and I haven’t even told you the best part yet.
The strategies I’m about to unveil to you have been tested by real individuals who have gotten their men back.
How To Get A Guy Back
The first thing you need to understand is that there is no magic bullet when it comes to getting a man back. Rather you’ll find it’s an accumulation of small tactics that work together in tandem that gets you results.
In all, this is the strategy that we are going to be talking about today,
This entire guide is going to be explaining this strategy so this graphic is very important.
Here’s what we are going to be talking about,
- The no contact rule
- Texting and phone calls
- The attraction built throughout
- The ask
Now, I do want to say that what I’m about to unveil to you today isn’t going to answer all of the questions you are inevitably going to have (that’s what my best selling book is for.)
I’m just going to be explaining how the strategy works.
It’s up to you to do the legwork and fill in the gaps that I don’t cover.
Step 1: Implement The No Contact Rule
I’ve talked about the no contact rule a lot on this website.
In fact, I’ve even written an entire book about it.
When I work with newbies who have questions about the no contact rule I explain it to them like this.
Think of getting your guy back as like trying to put a puzzle together.
You need the right pieces to fit together in the right way for the puzzle to be complete.
No tactic is going to complete the puzzle by itself. Instead, it’s a combination of many tactics working in tandem that will get you results.
Now, with that being said if there ever was a puzzle piece that would take up a massive amount of the puzzle it’d be the no contact rule.
Here’s a quick primer on no contact,
The No Contact Rule: A period of time where you ignore your guy on purpose with the intent of making them miss you while at the same time giving yourself some time to cultivate your life.
Now, there is a segment of individuals out there who fight me on the no contact rule and claim that it’s not a good idea.
I actually took those individuals on in a friendly debate with this YouTube video,
In the video I prove that the no contact rule is one of the most effective “recovery” strategies because it garners a total of 4 psychological benefits.
- The Theory Of Reactance
- Information Gap Theory
- Zeigarnik Effect
Want to know what these are?
Watch the video!
Let’s move on.
Step 2: Texting And Phone Calls
This is where I fear I’ll lose some of you guys because this where people tend to get confused.
What do I mean by that?
Well, step one is very simple.
Implement a no contact rule and ignore your ex.
It’s very straightforward and doesn’t really allow you to be creative.
Step two is a bit different.
This is where you actually begin the reconnection process and you are required to tap into your own creativity to do that.
While some of you may see that and jump for joy it can be daunting when you have options.
So, allow me to simplify this portion of the strategy for you.
- Text messaging
- Phone calls
Are all what I would consider conversation platforms.
When I say “text messaging and phone calls” I’m talking about rebuilding a connection with your ex via these conversation platforms.
Now, that may confuse some of you since I have it labeled as “text messaging and phone calls.” Heck, I even have a texting bible that I sell telling you what text messages to use on your exes.
Well, the reason I have it only labeled as text messages and phone calls is that these are the most popular vehicles for conversation that I’ve seen.
The end goal always remains the same no matter the vehicle though.
This leads me to the newest addition to the overall strategy.
Step 3: The Attraction Built Throughout
Have you actually sat back and considered how attraction is actually built?
What separates a guy friend from a guy boyfriend?
Some of you may think it’s the feeling that you have around your potential lover.
But what creates that feeling?
It’s a good question and probably one you’ve never even considered.
A few weeks ago I thought a lot about this question and here is the answer I eventually landed on,
I won’t deny that attraction is built through many different ways but chief among those “ways” are the conversations you have with your potential partner.
You don’t just meet someone for the first time and ask them to marry you, do you?
No, you need to build up trust and often building that trust looks a little like this,
It’s a slow ascent of building enough trust so that your guy is willing to be receptive to you when you actually do start sharing feelings for example.
Now, the biggest misconception I see among my coaching clients is that they think this “attraction” or “trust” can be built in a day.
Sometimes this can take months which is why if you look at this graphic,
I have the attraction spread out over the course of the entire process.
You need to be having these kinds of conversations from the moment you start getting back in touch with your ex after the no contact rule and slowly build to the point where the two of you are comfortable sharing feelings with each other again.
If you are still confused don’t sweat it, I explain it all in my book.
Let’s move on!
Step 4: Dating
Dating is kind of interesting to talk about.
A lot of people think that once they get their man to agree to a date with them that their work is done.
That would be a false assumption.
Everything you do is working you towards positive reception if that makes any sense.
You see, if you want to win a guy back the number one fear you have to worry about is having your man deny your attempts to reconnect.
So, every step of the way we are building up credibility and trust.
We are stacking the odds in our favor so that when the time does come for the next step, the ask, your ex will agree and you’ll be back together.
When you get to the dating portion of the strategy it’s often time to start focusing on these things,
- Getting your guy to break virgin ground
- Sharing feelings with each other
Now, what are these things.
Well, virgin ground is simply trying to get your man to tell you something that he’s never told anyone before.
It’s the ultimate sign of trust and often an indication that he is ready to be receptive towards the two of you sharing your feelings with each other.
The tricky part is that often the “virgin ground” and “sharing feelings” can only be done in person because having someone there applies the right type of romantic pressure to extract those things.
Step 5: The Ask
This part of the strategy is pretty interesting because I’m not too sure on what I can add to it that you don’t already know about.
Here’s what I’ll say.
“The ask” should be the easiest part of the strategy.
The keyword there being “should.”
If often isn’t, and this is an indication that everything prior to this point hasn’t been done properly.
Does that makes sense?
The ask is simply the culmination of everything that happened before it, it should come naturally without any real effort.
Sometimes you do have to push things through on your own but assuming you do everything prior to this point correctly it should happen pretty easily.