Having a legitimate reason for getting back together with your boyfriend is very important. In fact, I am going to be bold here and state that if you do not have a legitimate reason for reuniting, I cannot help you. Why? Because without a truly legitimate reason you are dooming yourself to fail. Sure, you may be able to get back with him using some of the tactics I teach here. Sure, it may be great for a few months but almost always relationships built on an un-legitimate reasons of reuniting will fail. I don’t know about you but I would rather help a couple get back together that lasts as compared to one that doesn’t.
So, while this page may seem insignificant to some I urge you to take the opposite view and realize that before you take any major step to getting back with him you are going to need to do some serious soul searching and come up with one legit reason for getting back together.
(Don’t worry, I created this page to show you examples of bad reasons and good reasons for getting back with an ex.)
Tread With Caution
Generally, if you have read my strategy for getting an ex back, I am very adamant about implementing a no contact rule before you take any step towards getting back with your ex. However, since this page is only focusing on the reasons you have for getting back with an ex I am not going to recommend the no contact rule. Why? Because, every single thing I talk about from this point on should be done BEFORE the no contact period. Think of this like a pre-test before the real test. You need to have at least one legitimate reason for getting back together with your ex before you can move on. That is your goal here.
Alright, before I can start listing reasons we need to define what I am talking about when I say “legitimate.” Having a good reason for getting back with an ex isn’t always easy to define. Each situation is different and will be unique. However, there are certain guidelines that you can look at to determine if you are on the right track with your reasoning.
Guideline 1: Any reason stemming from desperation or loneliness is NOT a good reason.
Guideline 2: A truly legit reason for getting back together will have substance to it and can be explained in depth.
Lets take a look at some examples of really bad reasons that women tell themselves every day for wanting to get back with their ex boyfriends.
Bad Reasons For Getting Back Together
- I will die without him.
- My whole life revolved around him.
- I will never find anyone as good as him ever again.
- It will be different next time.
Notice how every single one of these reasons aren’t really reasons at all. Well, I suppose they are, technically, but not the type we are looking for. Certainly they are not the type that are required for you to have successful relationship the second time around. Let’s dissect why these reasons are horrible.
I will die without him.
Will you really? I didn’t realize that someone breaking up with you could physically kill you. I mean, I suppose a couple who has been together for a really long time that suddenly has someone pass away can kill someone from heart break but come on, that is a really rare case.
My whole life revolved around him.
I can guarantee you that your whole existence does not revolve around your ex. This is desperation at it’s finest. The “I don’t know how I can live without him” excuse. The fact of the matter is that you can have a very happy life that doesn’t revolve around someone else.
I will never find anyone as good as him ever again.
I really don’t like this reason for a lot of…. reasons haha. First off, how do you know that you won’t ever find someone as good as him again? Secondly, you are basically admitting here that your ex is the best you will ever have in the boyfriend department. What if he was a horrible boyfriend? By using this reason you are settling for the easy way out.
It will be different next time.
You can become the perfect girlfriend, the perfect wife, the perfect (fill in the blank) but you have to remember that relationships are a two way street. There are two of you and you can’t be the only one that puts in the proper amount of effort.
Good Reasons For Getting Back Together
- The breakup was a rash decision.
- You were happy almost all of the time you were together.
- Both of you want the same things out of a life together.
I would say that the reasons listed above are excellent reasons for getting back together. Some of you may think certain points are controversial but don’t worry. I am going to go through each reason and give you why I consider these good legitimate reasons for getting back with an ex boyfriend.
The breakup was a rash decision.
Sometimes couples break up for impulsive reasons. This is a good reason for getting back together if the impulsive decision to break up came from a specific problem that doesn’t span throughout your entire relationship. You may have even tried to work on this problem but were unsuccessful. In this case it may be worth trying the relationship again.
You were happy almost all of the time you were together.
I am not expecting you to have had a perfect relationship. Every real couple has had a fight. It is no secret that fights really suck. Lets imagine for a moment that a couple who got along really well throughout their entire relationship had a huge fight and broke up. Both of them were really happy in their relationship but they just had a huge fight that temporarily changed their relationship status. It is important to remember that no relationship is perfect. Each one has it’s ups and downs and if you or your ex threw your relationship out the window over one bad experience then you have a legitimate claim for wanting them back.
Both of you want the same things out of a life together.
If you want the same things out of life together then that is a really good thing. Don’t let his bad qualities overshadow this. He may be worth getting back together with!