I’m In Love With My Ex Boyfriend

“I think we should breakup.”

The words echoed in her ears. She stood there shell shocked for a moment. But then she shook her head as if she was clearing an “Etch-A-Sketch” and held out her hand to shake his.

“Okay. If that’s what you want. It’s been a good couple of years. Thanks for the memories. I wish you the best.”

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just turn off our feelings like a light switch? If, as soon as your ex boyfriend told you he didn’t want to be with you anymore, your brain were just able to convince you,

“Oh well, plenty of other fish in the sea. He’s a nice guy, but I choose not to love him anymore since he doesn’t love me.”

That would be great, but unfortunately, real life doesn’t work like that. Unrequited love is a staple of so many romantic comedy movies. Life wouldn’t be nearly as interesting or dramatic if we all could just turn our feelings on and off with the flip of a switch. As appealing as that would be, it would make our lives rather one dimensional, and after some time, I suspect we as humans would begin to feel rather empty and listless.

This is a rather wide-ranging topic – after all, there are plenty of circumstances in which you could still be in love with your ex boyfriend. So let’s start with the most likely reason why you are here…

I Want Him Back

A breakup is a loss. It may look overly dramatic in those aforementioned romantic comedies, but when a relationship ends, you have to mourn that loss. It is the death of a relationship and it is important and healthy to grieve.

But it is also important to examine the relationship.

Maybe you stumbled upon Ex Boyfriend Recovery in the direct aftermath of your breakup, desperate to get him back.

“I love him so much it hurts.”

If that is the case, I encourage you to work the program and give it some time.

Women tend to face the reality of a breakup right away, but after they grieve they move on more completely in the end. Whereas men feel confident in their decision at first, and then come to regret it later on.

So, if you are reading this in the immediate aftermath of your breakup, give it some time before deciding, concretely, that you want to embark on the Ex Boyfriend Recovery journey, and try to get him back.

It is not an easy task.

And it takes a lot of dedication.

So, when you’re ready, start off the Ex Recovery Program with the No Contact rule. Focus on bettering yourself and cut ties with your ex. Take time to reflect on the relationship, and how it ended.

Ask yourself if you really want him back, or if there are other reasons. For example, you could ask yourself,

“Am I afraid to be alone?”

“Do I just not want to date again?”

Am I just afraid I’ll never find someone better?”

Also, consider the relationship in its entirety. Ask yourself if the relationship was healthy, and if it really made you happy, or if it was just comfortable.

Right after the breakup is when a lot of women tend to stumble upon the site, but I urge you to cut off ties with your ex for some No Contact  and get into some self love and reflecting before committing fully to the Ex Boyfriend Recovery problem.

But, what if some time has passed? I’m talking a couple weeks, I’ll discuss longer periods of time later in this article. Let’s say a few weeks have passed and  you’ve looked at your ex and the relationship with a careful eye and you’ve still decided a relationship with him is what you want. In that case, there are tons of articles and resources on this site that can help you. I’m not going to go too in depth with that because a lot of this information is readily available, and the other specific instances in this article may be more helpful for less general situations.

The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Approach:

First thing’s first, tackle No Contact and focus on becoming a better you. Once that time is up, initiate first contact using one of the techniques outlined here on the site.

Don’t fret if he doesn’t respond to your first attempt. Build rapport via text, phone call, and then finally, initiate meetups. Once you get a meetup, keep things light and happy. Remind your ex of what he lost in subtle ways.

If you need clarification…

Continue meeting up, becoming more and more emotionally intimate (NO SEX) until your ex brings up the idea of getting back together, or you subtly bring it up in a round-about way. Boom. There is the outline of the ex boyfriend recovery process in a nutshell.

So now let’s move on to some more specific instances and what to do about it.

He Has A New Girlfriend

If your ex has a new girlfriend but you still love him, the Being There method is going to be your best friend.

How long ago did the two of you break up?

If it was recent, it is likely that this girl is a rebound, and you shouldn’t worry too much. I know that is easier said than done, but know that it is not out of the norm for a guy to get a rebound, whether physical or emotional, after a breakup.

If it’s been a while, or he and the girl have been together for over… let’s say… six months, she may not be a rebound, or she may be rebound that turned into something deeper. I once dated my “rebound” for years. If this is the case, it may be a tough road ahead as you try to win him back, but it has been done before, and if you love him, it’s worth it to at least try.

The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Approach:

The process starts off the same, No Contact, followed by building rapport over text.

The thing that is important to keep in mind is that men have a harder time allowing themselves to be vulnerable than women do.

I have a theory that this is why they jump into relationships faster after a breakup – women make vulnerability a bit more comfortable. If you can remain in a position where he trusts and confides in you, you have power. The more he does this with you the less he does it with her. Likewise, the closer that makes you to having a more emotionally intimate role in his life.

The other important component of the Being There method is making the other woman insecure. If he’s talking to and hanging out with you, he’s doing less of that with her. Andyou bet your ass she’s going to notice. The more insecure she is, the more likely she’ll lash out at him. This will make her seem possessive and make him go

“gee, I really miss my ex girlfriend…”

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

You Have A New Boyfriend

I’m going to start off here by saying that it is totally normal to think about your ex when entering a new relationship. Simply put, you are replacing him in your life.

New boyfriend takes over the mantle old boyfriend.

So, it’s normal to compare them.

You are one half of a relationship equation. You’ve been used to one person and one relationship style, and now you have to adjust to a new one.

Even though Angel left Buffy and Sunnydale at the end of season 3, his memory still haunted Buffy well into season 4. In a scene where she and Willow are on patrol in one of Sunnydale’s many graveyards, they have this exchange in which Buffy is excited about her new relationship with Riley, but still has Angel on her mind:

Buffy: It’s just, different, you know? A picnic. First of all, daylight — kind of a new venue, Buffywise. And the best part — he said he would bring all the food, so all I have to do was to show up and eat. Those are two things I’m really good at.

Willow: So he’s nice?

Buffy: Very, very.

Willow: And there’s sparkage?

Buffy: Yeah. He’s— have you seen his arms? Those are good arms to have. I really like him. I do.

Willow: But..?

Buffy: I don’t know. I really like being around him, you know? And I think he cares about me.. but.. I just.. feel like something’s missing.

Willow: He’s not making you miserable?

Buffy: Exactly. Riley seems so solid. Like he wouldn’t cause me heartache.

Willow: (Fake worry) Get out. Get out while there’s still time.

Buffy: I know…I have to get away from that bad boy thing. There’s no good there. Seeing Angel in LA.. even for five minutes.. hello to the pain.

Willow: The pain is not a friend.

Buffy: But I can’t help thinking — isn’t that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it’s nuts, but…part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting.

It’s also normal to harbor feelings for your ex boyfriend.

After all, you were a large part of each other’s lives for a time.

In fact, I still care for most of my ex’s on some level, but I would not consider myself to be in love with any of them.

If your feelings for your ex go past the occasional comparison, and you find yourself thinking you were better off in your old relationship, you may be in a rebound relationship – with your new guy. If this is the case, you have the responsibility to end things with your new guy as quickly as possible.

You’ve been hurt and you know what it feels like. Don’t make it more painful than it needs to be for him. And don’t hold on to him as a backup plan as you work things out with your ex. End it so that you maintain integrity and begin your next relationship (be it with your ex or not) feeling okay about how your last relationship ended.

I’ve seen the above happen, and I feel badly for all parties. In fact, my ex told me he was still in love with me a week after I went on quite possibly the best first date I’ve ever been on. I chose the new guy and was upfront with my ex. I think this is why it is so important to take the time to heal after a breakup. I know it may be tempting to seek solace in another person, and you may feel lonely, but in the long run, you will be happier if you fully give yourself the opportunity to heal.

So with all of that being said, once you are happily single and have done some reflecting about if you want to be with your ex again, you can embark on the ex boyfriend recovery journey guilt free.

I’m Still In Love After Being Broken Up For A Long Time

I’ve never had this happen to me, but it sounds bittersweet and terribly romantic. Sometimes, two people can love each other very much, but things that are outside of their control keep them from being together. Perhaps it was distance, a job, or other obligations. But if years have passed since the breakup, and you are still in love with your ex, I say go for it.

If it’s been a while, you may have fallen out of touch. The first thing to do is to establish first contact. It should be pretty easy to follow the basic ex boyfriend recovery steps from there. In fact, it may be easier, since you really will be starting fresh.

About six months ago, I got into contact with an old ex I hadn’t talked to in years. I didn’t want him back, but I thought of him and shot him a facebook message with something funny that reminded me of him. We ended up getting coffee and catching up, and it was very pleasant.

However, if you have maintained contact, and you’re still friends, you will want to start all the way at the beginning from the No Contact period. This can be a little harder if you work together or go to school together, or have some other thing that keeps you in contact. If this is the case, do the best you can with a limited No Contact period, and try building positive rapport from there.

One of my favorite articles of Chris’ is when he talks about the timelines for getting your ex back. Believe it or not, getting your ex back fast generally means your relationship will dissolve again at some point in the future, because neither of you really did any work to change and grow. If it’s been a while and you’re still in love with your ex boyfriend, both of you have probably changed, and hopefully for the better. Only time will tell if you are still compatible.

He Doesn’t Love Me Anymore

Remember when we were talking about unrequited love?

In my time in the Ex Recovery Facebook group, I have seen so many guys said

“I don’t love you anymore.”

to their ex’s. I’ve also seen them come crawling back to their ex girlfriends more times than I can count.

I think a lot of guys say this because it’s an easy out.

You can’t argue with it.

If he says he doesn’t love you anymore, that’s it, relationship over. You can’t make him.

My guess is it’s a defense mechanism – a way to shut down emotional conversations, and emotions in general. Most guys say some iteration of this, and maybe it’s true in some cases, but I see it happen time and time again where the guy says this and then they get back together, so I’d take it with a grain of salt for a while (not forever, though!).

If your ex boyfriend claims not to love you anymore, the first step is to give him space and make him face the consequences of his actions by going full No Contact and disappearing from his life. With that time away from you, it’s possible that he will begin to miss you and realize how much he took you for granted. You depend on No Contact a lot in this circumstance.

Then, once the No Contact period is up, you can move on with developing rapport. If time passes and he still insists through meetups and frequent conversations that he does not love you, however, it may be time to start considering moving on without moving on.

Wrapping This Up

Speaking of moving on without moving on, something that we didn’t cover in the above sections that I think is worth mentioning is still being in love with your ex boyfriend when you know that the relationship won’t work, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s unhealthy, or there is distance, or he’s abusive, or you’re simply just not compatible.

But those outside factors can’t change the way you feel about him.

Moving on without moving on is the idea that even though you are still in love with your ex, you are trying to move on with your life, knowing that with time and self love, you will get over him eventually.

The bottom line is, you’re going to be okay no matter what. And luckily, you found a group of experts that are here to help you figure out what your next step is by starting a conversation about your breakup in the comments below.

Let me know a little bit about your breakup and what you’ve done so far. Then tell me what you THINK you should do moving forward. We’ll get you on the right track, whether you decide you want your ex back or not.

		

Written by EBR Teamate

Rachel

Leave a Reply

72 Comments on "I’m In Love With My Ex Boyfriend"

avatar
  Subscribe  
newest oldest
Notify of
Amy
Guest
My ex and I were together for 2 years. It was a difficult situation that caused me to break up with him even though I didn’t want to. I moved out and he immediately jumped into a new relationship. We have kept in contact through out the past year, emails, texts, while he has been with this girl and at times he will tell me hes unhappy with her. 2 weeks ago, I text him Happy Birthday and woke up to texts, pokes and a Facebook friend request. I approved the request but stay away from his page. Lately he… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Amy, it seems to suggest he wants to revisit things with you. So try a direct but somewhat complimentary way of inquiring about it. Say something like, “You have been so sweet to me lately! I could swear you are curious about revisiting things with us? This way, you can get answer as to where he stands, if should “bite” on your message. That way, you will know a little more about what his mindset is.

Emily
Guest
My boyfriend of nearly a year broke up with me two weeks ago. He said “I’m not feeling it anymore” and has told people that he felt as though he put in all the effort in our relationship. I’ve loved him from the day we met when we were 12 and we’ve always been close. He never spoke about his unhappiness even though we shared everything. We never argued or disagreed. I haven’t spoken to him since but being we share classes I am forced to see him and hear him. I love him so much it hurts and over… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Emily,

How old are you both?

Emily
Guest
My boyfriend of nearly a year broke up with me two weeks ago. He said “I’m not feeling it anymore” and has told people that he felt as though he put in all the effort in our relationship. I’ve loved him from the day we met when we were 12 and we’ve always been close. He never spoke about his unhappiness even though we shared everything. We never argued or disagreed. I haven’t spoken to him since but being we share classes I am forced to see him and hear him. I love him so much it hurts and over… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Emily,

How old are you both?

B
Guest
My boyfriend of 2.5 years and I broke up about 3 months ago. We had been fighting a lot and it was kind of mutual until I realized I really didn’t want it. I did a month of no contact and then we slowly started interacting more. So far we are on good terms and see each other often. The main problem is we had the same friend group and they all basically chose him in all of this. We go to a very small school so it’s so hard for me to avoid them. Our mutual best friend even… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi B,

How have you grown? How many new friends, hobbies and skills have you made? How long have you been since you ended nc?

B
Guest
My boyfriend of 2.5 years and I broke up about 3 months ago. We had been fighting a lot and it was kind of mutual until I realized I really didn’t want it. I did a month of no contact and then we slowly started interacting more. So far we are on good terms and see each other often. The main problem is we had the same friend group and they all basically chose him in all of this. We go to a very small school so it’s so hard for me to avoid them. Our mutual best friend even… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi B,

How have you grown? How many new friends, hobbies and skills have you made? How long have you been since you ended nc?

Dallas
Guest
My boyfriend broke up with me via text after 6 months about a week ago. His reason simply being that he doesn’t think he can make me happy, and isn’t emotionally ready to give me “what I want”. He thinks I want to get married soon (which I don’t) but we have never talked about that. Coincidentally, this breakup also happened the exact same night that his brother got engaged. Maybe that had something to do with it? He sprung all of this on me out of the blue after I had a tough month in my personal life and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dallas,

If you’re going to see him, that means you’re breaking nc.. For now, just focus in improving yourself and in posting.. Decide about that when you’ve already done at least 30 days.

Dallas
Guest
My boyfriend broke up with me via text after 6 months about a week ago. His reason simply being that he doesn’t think he can make me happy, and isn’t emotionally ready to give me “what I want”. He thinks I want to get married soon (which I don’t) but we have never talked about that. Coincidentally, this breakup also happened the exact same night that his brother got engaged. Maybe that had something to do with it? He sprung all of this on me out of the blue after I had a tough month in my personal life and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dallas,

If you’re going to see him, that means you’re breaking nc.. For now, just focus in improving yourself and in posting.. Decide about that when you’ve already done at least 30 days.

Lahna
Guest
My boyfriend broke up with me in a text message abruptly one month before our 5th anniversary 9 months ago and blocked me from his life (facebook, instagram, text message, phone calls) to the point where I had no choice but to try move on without any closure. I made desperate hysterical attempts for a week to try and contact him which was a mistake and only made matters worse but I was heartbroken and in so much pain I didn’t see it coming. Our relationship had been through some strain but for the most part I thought we were… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi lahna,

When was that you contacted his friend? And when was the last time you tried to with your ex? How much did you improve yourself and how active are you in posting even if you’re blocked? Did you make those posts public?

Lahna
Guest
My boyfriend broke up with me in a text message abruptly one month before our 5th anniversary 9 months ago and blocked me from his life (facebook, instagram, text message, phone calls) to the point where I had no choice but to try move on without any closure. I made desperate hysterical attempts for a week to try and contact him which was a mistake and only made matters worse but I was heartbroken and in so much pain I didn’t see it coming. Our relationship had been through some strain but for the most part I thought we were… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi lahna,

When was that you contacted his friend? And when was the last time you tried to with your ex? How much did you improve yourself and how active are you in posting even if you’re blocked? Did you make those posts public?

Stephanie
Guest
Hi, I have been chasing my ex-boyfriend whom I dated from 2013-2014 for 2 weeks so far and it’s been killing me! I have always been the ‘receiver’ not just while we were dating but for the past 4 years! I’m writing to suggest that you blog on what to do when an ex-boyfriend becomes a clingy best friend (no sex or physical affection involved) and how to make him your boyfriend again. I’ve scoured the web for advice on my situation but there was literally nothing and just stuff on a best friend becoming a boyfriend. So back to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Stephanie,

move on from him… Years of seeing you with no sex? But you did it before right? Even if he has gf now, that either means he’s gay or he friendzoned you…

Stephanie
Guest
Hi, I have been chasing my ex-boyfriend whom I dated from 2013-2014 for 2 weeks so far and it’s been killing me! I have always been the ‘receiver’ not just while we were dating but for the past 4 years! I’m writing to suggest that you blog on what to do when an ex-boyfriend becomes a clingy best friend (no sex or physical affection involved) and how to make him your boyfriend again. I’ve scoured the web for advice on my situation but there was literally nothing and just stuff on a best friend becoming a boyfriend. So back to… Read more »
Stephanie
Guest
Hi, I have been chasing my ex-boyfriend whom I dated from 2013-2014 for 2 weeks so far and it’s been killing me! I have always been the ‘receiver’ not just while we were dating but for the past 4 years! I’m writing to suggest that you blog on what to do when an ex-boyfriend becomes a clingy best friend (no sex or physical affection involved) and how to make him your boyfriend again. I’ve scoured the web for advice on my situation but there was literally nothing and just stuff on a best friend becoming a boyfriend. So back to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Stephanie,

move on from him… Years of seeing you with no sex? But you did it before right? Even if he has gf now, that either means he’s gay or he friendzoned you…

Stephanie
Guest
Hi, I have been chasing my ex-boyfriend whom I dated from 2013-2014 for 2 weeks so far and it’s been killing me! I have always been the ‘receiver’ not just while we were dating but for the past 4 years! I’m writing to suggest that you blog on what to do when an ex-boyfriend becomes a clingy best friend (no sex or physical affection involved) and how to make him your boyfriend again. I’ve scoured the web for advice on my situation but there was literally nothing and just stuff on a best friend becoming a boyfriend. So back to… Read more »
EK
Guest
Hi !! I have been reading a lot of your articles and it has been helping me to an extent. I was with this guy for two years. Basically he was two timing me and this other girl during the first year, and I found out that he lied after 8 months or so. He kinda left me and came running back as soon as I confronted him. He broke my trust but I never stopped loving. He slowly started to change and he did change for the better in many aspects. But I found it hard to believe he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
EK
Guest
Hi !! I have been reading a lot of your articles and it has been helping me to an extent. I was with this guy for two years. Basically he was two timing me and this other girl during the first year, and I found out that he lied after 8 months or so. He kinda left me and came running back as soon as I confronted him. He broke my trust but I never stopped loving. He slowly started to change and he did change for the better in many aspects. But I found it hard to believe he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Lilly
Guest
Hi team, My ex fiance and I are together for 4 yrs, he broke up with me last November. Starting December, I tried NC (3 weeks), but during the holidays, he contacted me, but I was not able to stop myself to respond. He greeted me, and told me that he was sorry for hurting me – just sorry for what he had done, for breaking up with me just like that, with his reason “it’s not you it’s me” and that he doesn’t want to commit and that he has fallen out of love. He was not like, “I’m… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lilly,

if he’s dating, she’s probably just a rebound. Focus in yourself because that’s what you can control. Be productive and very active in improving yourself and in posting.. It would be better if you stop talking to his family too. You can politely tell them you’ll need to stop talking to them to heal and hope they understand and thank them for everything because you’re going to look like you’re using them to get him back if he continues to hear from them that you’re talking to his family.

Lilly
Guest
Hi team, My ex fiance and I are together for 4 yrs, he broke up with me last November. Starting December, I tried NC (3 weeks), but during the holidays, he contacted me, but I was not able to stop myself to respond. He greeted me, and told me that he was sorry for hurting me – just sorry for what he had done, for breaking up with me just like that, with his reason “it’s not you it’s me” and that he doesn’t want to commit and that he has fallen out of love. He was not like, “I’m… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lilly,

if he’s dating, she’s probably just a rebound. Focus in yourself because that’s what you can control. Be productive and very active in improving yourself and in posting.. It would be better if you stop talking to his family too. You can politely tell them you’ll need to stop talking to them to heal and hope they understand and thank them for everything because you’re going to look like you’re using them to get him back if he continues to hear from them that you’re talking to his family.

Stuck
Guest
Hi EBR, My ex and I were together for just a month in February last year. I think the relationship started off as a rebound from an ex, and we were falling out quite a lot during our relationship as he has deep-rooted depression and anxiety which lead him to being a little controlling and insanely jealous, but I did end up falling for him and it was intense and we were very compatible overall disregarding these things, we had a lot of common interests and he treated me well. He told me I was ‘The One’ a few times… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Stuck,

are you going to stop chasing him to stick to nc this time? And check this one:
This Is How To Make Him Trust You Again

Stuck
Guest
Hi EBR, My ex and I were together for just a month in February last year. I think the relationship started off as a rebound from an ex, and we were falling out quite a lot during our relationship as he has deep-rooted depression and anxiety which lead him to being a little controlling and insanely jealous, but I did end up falling for him and it was intense and we were very compatible overall disregarding these things, we had a lot of common interests and he treated me well. He told me I was ‘The One’ a few times… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Stuck,

are you going to stop chasing him to stick to nc this time? And check this one:
This Is How To Make Him Trust You Again

Lilly
Guest

Hi Amor,

To answer your question, I had 19 days NC, then after that another 3 days NC. He has been messaging me every other day. And had been sorry the whole time. I do not want to move on. But is there still a chance? He’s been praising me of how a wonderful girlfriend I was and that I never gave him problems, that it was all him, and his cheating (he did it once, 2 years ago, for 2 weeks). There’s somewhat finality in his words that I would meet a new, better boyfriend. But I want him.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Well it looks like you have a chance, it’s just you rushed it.. Right now, when you replied, that’s not nc anymore because he knows you’re still going to reply and he doesn’t feel that he’s really losing you because you’re still friendly… Tell him being friends is not workable for you right now and thank him for everything and then restart 30 days nc

Lilly
Guest

Hi Amor,

To answer your question, I had 19 days NC, then after that another 3 days NC. He has been messaging me every other day. And had been sorry the whole time. I do not want to move on. But is there still a chance? He’s been praising me of how a wonderful girlfriend I was and that I never gave him problems, that it was all him, and his cheating (he did it once, 2 years ago, for 2 weeks). There’s somewhat finality in his words that I would meet a new, better boyfriend. But I want him.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Well it looks like you have a chance, it’s just you rushed it.. Right now, when you replied, that’s not nc anymore because he knows you’re still going to reply and he doesn’t feel that he’s really losing you because you’re still friendly… Tell him being friends is not workable for you right now and thank him for everything and then restart 30 days nc

Lilly
Guest
Hi team, My ex fiance has been contacting me every other day. He’s been friendly and the tension of our conversations has lessened. He has been telling me to inform him if I already have a new boyfriend, and that he’ll tell me if he already has a new girlfriend. He’s also been telling me again and again that I had been a really great girlfriend, that the problem was never me. He keeps on apologizing for hurting me and tells me that I will thank him in the future because I deserve someone who will love me as much… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lilly,

Have you done nc? If yes, how many times and how long? Because it’s either you do one last or move on.

Lilly
Guest
Hi team, My ex fiance has been contacting me every other day. He’s been friendly and the tension of our conversations has lessened. He has been telling me to inform him if I already have a new boyfriend, and that he’ll tell me if he already has a new girlfriend. He’s also been telling me again and again that I had been a really great girlfriend, that the problem was never me. He keeps on apologizing for hurting me and tells me that I will thank him in the future because I deserve someone who will love me as much… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lilly,

Have you done nc? If yes, how many times and how long? Because it’s either you do one last or move on.

Bianca Lauro
Guest
Hi: My ex boyfriend and I had started dating in October of 2015. I ended up moving to his city to be closer to him and I moved in with him in August of 2016. He broke up with me October 2016 because he thought I didn’t want to be in Beverly but it wasn’t true. I moved down the street and then we got back together 3 weeks later (he contacted me) and continued dating until March1st of 2017. He broke up with me again because he was my main source of happiness and I wasn’t taking care of… Read more »
Bianca Lauro
Guest
Hi: My ex boyfriend and I had started dating in October of 2015. I ended up moving to his city to be closer to him and I moved in with him in August of 2016. He broke up with me October 2016 because he thought I didn’t want to be in Beverly but it wasn’t true. I moved down the street and then we got back together 3 weeks later (he contacted me) and continued dating until March1st of 2017. He broke up with me again because he was my main source of happiness and I wasn’t taking care of… Read more »
Medusa1983
Guest
Me and my ex split up about 4 months ago after being together for nearly 10 years, we were engaged and were supposed to get married next year. He found a message on my phone from another guy and i admitted, that i cheated on him. He asked me why and i was honest and told him why. he stopped giving me attention started being very lazy didn’t want to go out to cinema or movies or for a walk didn’t look after himself and let himself go. He used to do martial arts and due too illness he stopped… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Medusa,

yeah, that’s a good sign.. are you gong to do the no contact rule?

Medusa1983
Guest
Me and my ex split up about 4 months ago after being together for nearly 10 years, we were engaged and were supposed to get married next year. He found a message on my phone from another guy and i admitted, that i cheated on him. He asked me why and i was honest and told him why. he stopped giving me attention started being very lazy didn’t want to go out to cinema or movies or for a walk didn’t look after himself and let himself go. He used to do martial arts and due too illness he stopped… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Medusa,

yeah, that’s a good sign.. are you gong to do the no contact rule?

Denise
Guest
I was in brief, intense relationship about a year and a half ago. There were flags. No one I knew liked him. It ended rough and abrupt; he was a jerk and I dumped him, but I really liked him. A few months later, he tried to tell me he had changed, but I didn’t really believe him. That didn’t seem like enough time. I made the mistake of looking at his FB pic about a month ago and it is the same one from a trip we took a year ago. I’m not in it but I was there… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Denise,

If you want to see, talk to him and observe over time if he really has changed

Denise
Guest
I was in brief, intense relationship about a year and a half ago. There were flags. No one I knew liked him. It ended rough and abrupt; he was a jerk and I dumped him, but I really liked him. A few months later, he tried to tell me he had changed, but I didn’t really believe him. That didn’t seem like enough time. I made the mistake of looking at his FB pic about a month ago and it is the same one from a trip we took a year ago. I’m not in it but I was there… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Denise,

If you want to see, talk to him and observe over time if he really has changed

JJ
Guest
Hey Rachel, My ex and I broke up 9 months ago because we were under a lot of strain from mental illness and stress, and suddenly he changed his mind about what he wanted for his future. We were together 3.5 years. We were living together and the breakup was terrible. Mostly just devastatingly sad but also some yelling. Since then we’ve been hooking up and he decided we should stop because he needs to figure out his feelings and also wants to take a stab at dating this other woman. Before that we would see each other every 2-3… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
SOS
Guest

When me and my ex are building rapport should it feel like we are just friends? When we talk conversation just flows and never awkward. At first I was really happy thinking we were building rapport. But as time goes by I get more and more worries that he only sees me as a platonic friend and that I’ve been friend-zoned. What do u guys think?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

At first, you have to attraction to as time goes by.. That’s why you need to move from text to calls and to meet ups

JJ
Guest
Hey Rachel, My ex and I broke up 9 months ago because we were under a lot of strain from mental illness and stress, and suddenly he changed his mind about what he wanted for his future. We were together 3.5 years. We were living together and the breakup was terrible. Mostly just devastatingly sad but also some yelling. Since then we’ve been hooking up and he decided we should stop because he needs to figure out his feelings and also wants to take a stab at dating this other woman. Before that we would see each other every 2-3… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
SOS
Guest

When me and my ex are building rapport should it feel like we are just friends? When we talk conversation just flows and never awkward. At first I was really happy thinking we were building rapport. But as time goes by I get more and more worries that he only sees me as a platonic friend and that I’ve been friend-zoned. What do u guys think?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

At first, you have to attraction to as time goes by.. That’s why you need to move from text to calls and to meet ups

Dangermouse
Guest
I need advice, urgently. My boyfriend broke up with me claiming he cannot / will not ever be able to accept I had a previous relationship with someone he grew up with.. and this was 6 months of hot and heavy, extremely emotional , intense romance with no fights – with MY BEST FRIEND. yes – we have known each other five years, friends first, then confessed our mutual undying crushes and off we went til the intensity really began to make him push/pull/ disappear and start having doubts.. Long story short he devastated me by announcing he gave up… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Sorry, correct me if I’m wrong. You owe him for paying up for the tags and insurance of your car? If yes, find a way to negotiate with him that you will pay up for in due time, get a witness, and better if it’s in writing and don’t accept help from him anymore and move on.. He’s abusive..

Torn
Guest
I’ve commented on this on another post, but I’m in the category of me and my boyfriend have been broken up for a year or so, but I still love him and after using some techniques from this website, he eventually admitted he loved me still and missed everything we use to do, whilst he currently has a girlfriend right now. We talked, hung out like old times and it was great until his current girlfriend found out and he basically said we shouldn’t talk for a while until things calmed down. It’s been about a month now since we… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Torn,

since when did you start talking? For me, you should move on..

Dangermouse
Guest
I need advice, urgently. My boyfriend broke up with me claiming he cannot / will not ever be able to accept I had a previous relationship with someone he grew up with.. and this was 6 months of hot and heavy, extremely emotional , intense romance with no fights – with MY BEST FRIEND. yes – we have known each other five years, friends first, then confessed our mutual undying crushes and off we went til the intensity really began to make him push/pull/ disappear and start having doubts.. Long story short he devastated me by announcing he gave up… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Sorry, correct me if I’m wrong. You owe him for paying up for the tags and insurance of your car? If yes, find a way to negotiate with him that you will pay up for in due time, get a witness, and better if it’s in writing and don’t accept help from him anymore and move on.. He’s abusive..

Torn
Guest
I’ve commented on this on another post, but I’m in the category of me and my boyfriend have been broken up for a year or so, but I still love him and after using some techniques from this website, he eventually admitted he loved me still and missed everything we use to do, whilst he currently has a girlfriend right now. We talked, hung out like old times and it was great until his current girlfriend found out and he basically said we shouldn’t talk for a while until things calmed down. It’s been about a month now since we… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Torn,

since when did you start talking? For me, you should move on..