Getting your ex boyfriend back after a fight isn’t as impossible a task as people make it out to be. Now, I don’t want to mislead you here. It is going to take hard work, good timing and the right strategy to position yourself in a place where you have a chance of winning your ex boyfriends back. Luckily, I put this page together for you to break down the overall strategy that you should use if you had a big blowout with your ex. I also feel it is important to point out that no matter what anyone says there are no guarantees when it comes to this kind of stuff. Anyone who says they can promise you that they can get your ex back 100% of the time is a scam artist and I would say you are better off moving on then listening to their advice.

Speaking of advice, everything I talk about on this page, every strategy, tactic and idea I have derived from the foremost experts in the relationship world, stories I have found online and my own personal experience. So, you can rest easy knowing that I am being up front and honest with you. I know this may sound a little goofy but I honestly want to become the number one authority in the world on helping women get back with their boyfriends (if they choose to.) I work on this site every day and will respond to every single comment so feel free to ask a question if you have one.

What This Page Is About

Well, in a nutshell it is about fighting. Using this page it is my goal to help you understand what you need to do to get your boyfriend back after a monster fight. I am going to be talking about the following things.

  • What causes couples to fight the most.
  • How to approach a fight (there is a good way and a bad way to fight.)
  • What to do after the fight (and breakup) to get your ex back.

Now, before I move on to the next section on this page I do want to point out that this page WILL NOT tell you everything you need to know about getting an ex boyfriend back. I know, I know but don’t fret I have a couple of solutions for you. Yes, this page is an epic page. However, that’s all it is, just a page on this site. If you want more in-depth instructions on what you need to do to get your boyfriend back I recommend reading ALL the pages of this site (there is something to be gained from all of them.)

Fighting… Good Or Bad For Ex Recovery?

fight club

This page is focusing specifically on women (who broke up/have been broken up) with their boyfriends because of a big fight. Nothing can get your emotions out of whack like a good ole fight can. All of a sudden you become angry, frustrated and say some very hurtful things to someone you really care deeply about. This brings up a few interesting questions. What do couples fight about the most? Is fighting normal? Do you even have a chance of getting back with your ex?

Hmm… lets take things one question at a time.

What Do Couples Fight About The Most?

I am going to go ahead and raise my hand here and say that I have fought about some pretty silly things with my exes before. I am sure most people can relate on some level. However, I naturally go curious and decided to look up what the average couple will fight about. Here is what I found:

  • Free Time- Girls tend to want their boyfriends to spend more time with them. Guys don’t want to be with their girlfriends, they want to be with their friends and have a guys night out.
  • Money- This is for our our more mature couples out there that live together. The boyfriend will usually complain that the girl spends too much while the girl will complain that the boyfriend doesn’t spend enough. No joke!
  • Politics- This is for a select group of couples who have two differing political parties. Democrat girl, republican guy. Independent girl, republican guy. You get the idea.
  • Sex- What a racy topic huh? Haha, no couples fight about whether to have sex before marriage or after. Sometimes a guy will want to do something a girl will not. Of course, sometimes a girl will want to do something a guy will not.
  • Jealousy- Ahh… the most famous relationship killer. Guys can get jealous of girls just as much as girls can get jealous of guys. Either way, a lot of fights are caused because jealousy plays a central role.

Is Fighting Normal?couple fight

Fighting is absolutely normal duhh. Can you imagine how boring the world would be if everyone agreed about everything and there were no arguments? This may be a little controversial but I say, embrace the conflict. As long as you fight in a healthy way (where you don’t horribly demean the other person) you can actually have a healthy discussion that strengthens the relationship. What is an example of a healthy “fight?”

  • Make sure you address the issue. So many couples choose to call each other hurtful names rather than work together to communicate their real issues.
  • Yelling is a bad thing. There is no need to yell. Just talk softly. Sure, you may be so angry that you could punch a hole in the wall but there is no need to yell about it. Talk softly and slowly so you can calmly address the issue.
  • Be as specific as possible when addressing an issue or if ask for specifics if you are unsure. Specifics are good!
  • Eventually you are going to have to cooperate with this person to fix whatever problem you may be fighting about it. Make sure you resolve the problem.

Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a couple that fights in the “preferred” way. Most fights end up being nothing but who can call who the worse name or who can hurt each other the most. Ironically, that leads us to our next question.

Do You Have A Chance Of Getting Your Ex Back After A Fight?

I am going to be honest with you here. If I were to help someone get their ex boyfriend back the ideal “student” would be someone who broke up with their ex boyfriend because of a big fight. So, yes you have a pretty darn good shot at getting your ex back if you broke up directly because of a fight.

One of the first pages I wrote when I created this site was having a legitimate reason for getting back together. On that page I basically state the importance of having a real reason for getting back with your ex. In my opinion a good legitimate reason for getting back together with your ex is if you were broken up because of a fight. Don’t you owe it to yourself to give the relationship a try, enduring the fights in a healthy way?

No Contact Is A MUST

no eye contact

If you aren’t familiar with the infamous no contact rule then I suggest you get familiar with it.

(I talk about it in depth in my system.)

In short, the no contact rule is something you implement immediately after a breakup. You can’t call, text, email or facebook your ex at all. To take things a step further, you can’t even respond if your ex contacts you. I know this may seem a little harsh but trust me when I say it is vital for your particular situation. Lets take a moment to break down why the no contact rule will work especially well in your case.

You had a big fight with your ex boyfriend that ultimately ended in a breakup. Things were said on both sides, hurtful things. Emotions are running high and your first instinct is to call up your ex boyfriend and apologize hoping that you can somehow save the relationship. Maybe you already tried this tactic but had no success at all.

The reason this doesn’t work (most of the time) is that your boyfriend is expecting you to do this. As sick as I think it is, there is a part of all men (myself included) that enjoys being “in control” of things. Every time a girl calls us up and asks to hang out or to patch things up we immediately pull the “oh yea, I definitely got her!”

It’s human nature to shun what we have and to want what we don’t have.

This is why the no contact rule works so well. By successfully implementing it you go from being the girl that he had to the girl that he can’t have and that makes you so much more attractive in his eyes. Let me put it to you this way, have you ever liked someone so much that you texted but they never texted back? You spent all day double checking your phone wondering why they haven’t texted back? Surely there must be something wrong with them so you logged on to their Facebook account only to see that they have been posting updates all day long. Sure, you are angry but the next day you always text them back hoping you still have a shot.

Sound familiar?

Now, can you imagine having your ex boyfriend doing that type of stuff over you? That is exactly what the no contact rule, if implemented correctly, will do for you. It turns the tables and gives you the power in the relationship. Now, there is actually quite a bit more to the no contact rule than just cutting yourself off from your ex (like what you are supposed to do during it and how long you have to implement it for) but I don’t want you to worry about it because I created a very long and in-depth guide detailing everything you could possibly want to know about the no contact rule here.

Get the Fairy Tale Feeling Back Again With Our Step By Step Guide To Getting Your Ex Back

Learn More

Ok, But How Do You Get Them Back?

im back

If you are able to successfully make it through the No Contact period one of three things is going to happen.

  1. Your ex will have contacted you asking to see you.
  2. Your ex will have contacted you asking how you are or asking some other general question.
  3. Your ex will have not contacted you at all.

I am going to use this section to advise you on how to approach all of the situations above.

Your Ex Contacts You Asking To See You

Obviously, this is the most positive outcome of the no contact period. While I will admit it is the best thing that can happen it is also very very rare. The goal of this page is to help you get your ex back but I need you to understand that even though your boyfriend contacting you like this is really good you can’t get too overconfident. You have to make sure every step you take is on your terms and not his. Remember, you have to be the “unattainable” and there is nothing unattainable about running back to his arms the first time he shows you a little attention. My advice is to follow the strategies laid out here. Know, that you have him hooked but in order to reel him in you are going to have to doing everything just right.

Your Ex Just Generally Contacts You

This is another really good outcome. The most common one actually. It isn’t as good as (option one) above but the fact that he contacted you means you are on his mind, a lot. Take solace in the fact that he is thinking about you and there are clearly some unresolved feelings from his side. The question now becomes how do you proceed? Well, your best play is to take things really slowly and make sure you check out my step by step guide on how to get him back here. The whole thing is my masterpiece. No joke, I spent a month writing it and it is by far the most popular page on this website. It will take you through every step of the process. Yup, every single step!

You Ex Doesn’t Contact You At All

Oh my gosh, the world is ending…. sike! I can’t tell you how many questions I get from women whose exes didn’t contact them during the no contact period and seem to think they have no chance winning him back. The truth of the matter is that it isn’t an ideal situation but your chances are hardly over. Again, I want you to reference my how to get your ex back guide. There you will find an exact step by step guide on what to do.

278 thoughts on “Get Your Boyfriend Back After A Fight”

  1. Avatar


    July 1, 2019 at 11:45 am

    Hope you’re doing great. My boyfriend and I (we’re both 29) had a very bad argument about something not very serious, he became very angry and shouted, get out of my car and shut the door, I panicked and called him right away, he was shouting and telling me he is tired of this relationship and I must go out of his life. I was so nervous so went to his place immediately (my mistake) and that made him even more angry. Then he started ignoring my calls and text and I stopped texting him for a week. he was also silent during that week seems that waiting for me to contact so I sent a short message that I want to drink some wine with him and he is missed truly. he answered this relationship is ended please do not contact me. I answered we need to talk it is my right after 3 years to talk and then break up, he answered I will call you in 1-2 weeks or whenever I wanted to call, and my answer was “I Love you and like to stay in this relationship, just keep calm and then make decision I will respect that”. he even haven’t seen my text yet and It’s been a week I stopped texting him again and I am waiting for his call. Do you think I can have him back? or this is a real break up?

    thanks for helping me,

  2. Avatar


    June 26, 2019 at 1:04 pm

    Hi, me and my boyfriend have broke up for the second time now as he is grandad died 3 weeks ago and his auntie a week ago, I repeat his decision as he is not in a good head space but we were also arguing before this happened, we’ve argued since we’ve broke up aswell but when he was breaking up he said he wants to be with me but he just can’t at the minute and needs time and is still in love with me, have I ruined my chances of getting back together because I’ve argued with him since? He’s been going out with friends and I haven’t gave him the space he asked for. How do I get him back and do I have a chance?

  3. Avatar

    Ms Singh

    May 27, 2019 at 9:01 am

    I and my boyfriend are in Long distance relationship. I met him recently but with my best friend whom he doesn’t like. During the meeting everything went well. But after I return he didn’t talk for two days and when we talked, we had a small argument about my friend. He said I disrespected him, which I could not understand and blocked me. Since then I didn’t call and messaged him. Same has happened earlier as well, I don’t understand why he annoyed so soon. If he is making fun of me then it’s fine, if I do the same then it’s an issue. When he gets furious he stop calling me and come back after two or three months. I wanted him to stay always.
    Ms Singh

  4. Avatar


    April 28, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    Hey Chris!

    So my boyfriend and I are long distance (he’s in the military) and we were bickering while he was gone. When he got back we were both so stressed from our jobs we blew up on each other from all the stupid little arguments in between. He told me he loved me and he would never break up with me but the next day he broke up with me saying he had a chance to think about it and that our long distance relationship didn’t fit into his plans of going back to school and another deployment. He said he was so frustrated and numb from our fight for the last two days that he couldn’t think straight. I asked rather than completely ending the relationship if we could take some time to give one another space and to think. He agreed saying he wasn’t going to see anyone and that we could still talk but to not get my hopes up on getting back together. I am completely clueless. He told me two people could love one another but not be right for each other. I don’t know what to do other than give him his space. I can’t help but think he will not get over our argument (it being our last interaction) and look our relationship from a negative perspective when we’ve had a really great relationship up until recently having fought a lot. He said all we do is fight, which we have does recently, and it stresses him out. I made a mistake in being upset and irritable with him this week but now I feel like I won’t even have a chance to make it right. We broke up 3 days ago and I haven’t reach out since in order to give him the space I promised. I also have not heard from him and he deactivated his Facebook.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 28, 2019 at 5:57 pm

      Hi Caroline….I know long distance relationships can wear on people. And with the breakup so fresh, i think it is wise you are both giving each other some space. I encourage you to take a look at my comprehensive eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it should help you going forward.

  5. Avatar


    April 24, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    It would be so great if you could help me out. I read your blog, really loved it!
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and inbetween he broke up with me twice, it was always the same: I don’t know if I love you anymore, I am no more sure about us and so on and on… During our time apart, he regularly contacted me (like every week). Last summer we split for 4 months and I forgave him in October since then we were back together. I must admit that I had some trust issues and I analyzed his behaviour because I was always checking for break-up signs…. (his behaviour before a break-up had always been the same so I was on high alert….). Since February, we were on a long distance relationship,I had an internship abroad and we saw each other on every second weekend (always at least two weeks between). And I felt him more and more distant in the messages…. And I asked him regularly if anything was okay between us (we has some real communication issues before, he never communicated his feelings so this time I really wanted to make sure) and sometimes if he did not answer right away and answered after hours and hours, I was a bit anxious, I always compared with the past situations…. And after a while I really got on his nerves with my behaviour, he told me I should stop…. But he did nothing for insuring me… He never asked why I am behaving that way….
    So on Saturday, I wanted to apologize for my behaviour and that I had some really stressful months…. and then we got into a huge fight 4 days ago…. he was insulting and it was really disrespectful….. (I would be very negative, that it would be too much to live with a negative person, I live too much in the past, I should get a therapist, I should stop analyzing, he wouldn’t even be interested in investing in the relationship anymore.) I couldn’t defend myself, he was interrupting me all the time and yelled at me….. So I hung up on him because there was no chance of calming him down… Before I hung up I told him, that eventhough he broke my heart twice, I forgave him twice….
    Since then we had no more contact…. I have no clue if we are still together or not….. I invested so much in this relationship!! How can’t he understand that rebuilding trust takes time!
    What should I do? I am going back home in two weeks. (Maybe you should know that I finish my studies in September and we don’t know how our relationship will continue…..)

    Thank you so much!
    Have a lovely day

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 25, 2019 at 12:23 am

      Hi Flori…So No Contact is probably the right medicine, but it would be advantageous to implement it the way I teach in my Program. There are many elements to this highly adaptable and integrated strategy. Go take a look at my Program (EBR PRO) as a deeper dive into all of this post breakup period will be helpful.

  6. Avatar


    April 24, 2019 at 8:06 pm

    Hey there!
    I just read your blog and I really liked it.
    I would really love to ask your opinion about my current relationship.
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and inbetween he broke up with twice, it was always the same: I don’t know if I love you anymore, I am no more sure about us and so on and on… During our time apart, he regularly contacted me (like every week). Last summer we split for 4 months and I forgave him in October since then we were back together. I must admit that I had some trust issues and I analyzed his behaviour because I was always checking for break-up signs…. (his behaviour before a break-up had always been the same so I was on high alert….). Since February, we were on a long distance relationship,I had an internship abroad and we saw each other on every second weekend (always at least two weeks between). And I felt him more and more distant in the messages…. And I asked him regularly if anything was okay between us (we has some real communication issues before, he never communicated his feelings so this time I really wanted to make sure) and sometimes if he did not answer right away and answered after hours and hours, I was a bit anxious, I always compared with the past situations…. And after a while I really got on his nerves with my behaviour, he told me I should stop…. But he did nothing for insuring me… He never asked why I am behaving that way….
    So on Saturday, I wanted to apologize for my behaviour and that I had a really stressful months…. and then we got into a huge fight 4 days ago…. he was insulting and it was really disrespectful….. (I would be very negative, that it would be too much to live with a negative person, I live too much in the past, I should get a therapist, I should stop analyzing, he wouldn’t even be interested in investing in the relationship anymore. I couldn’t defend myself, he was interrupting me all the time and yelled at me….. So I hung up on him because there was no chance of calming him down… And since then we had no more contact….
    What should I do?
    Thank you so much!

  7. Avatar


    January 27, 2019 at 3:19 am

    Thanks chris! Yes his mood does switch happy to moody but im always there no matter what. I just dont understand his personality sometimes. Hes been through alot in his life but im there for him. But over all We had few maybe 2-3 small fights and 2 really big fights in the last 6.5 years. Its not alot at all and get along really well and yet hes making a big deal out if it. I told him we learn from it. Normal couples fight. So yest hes like dont change. You be you and i be me during the break up. Im wondering if drinking is also to blame on. I been doing no contact as it happened yesterday but im not planning to contact him at all as he hurt me so much yesterday for all the stuff i did for him. Its leaving me confused questioning if someone in his family said something false. Anyways thanks for your help.

  8. Avatar


    January 26, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    On this new years Vacation me and my boyfriend of 6.5 years got in a fight it was mostly his fault and he wont admit it so i make it like my fault. We were with his family. I was upset and i yelled at him instead and was upset the whole trip ans went home sad. Ok so then a week later he wanted to see me again so i saw him again and stayed with him for few days over and everything seemed nomal and we talked it out and i said im sorry and stuff. Everything was calm and lovely and kissy. Few days later he snapped out of the blue on text after a cool picture i send him then saying hey im done with you, im moving on and you should too. That was it and I was lost for words because we were talking about our next trip together. So i asked him what did i do wrong even tho everything was just fine and he wanted to see me and talked things out nicely and spend time time together. He told me i should see someone for help like im messed up? And few more text after that back and fourth. He was being cold in the convo. Theres no blocking on anything online text etc. I mean i love him so much and did everything for him. I give him everything and do everything he wants. I still have his stuff and he has mine. I am still pretty upset we been together for over 6 years. This is our 2nd big fight as he broke up with me 2 years ago over non sense stuff for almost 2 months. He still called me babe while breaking up and i dont understand. We loved eachother so much that we talked about having baby and marriage ring. We were pretty excited about our relationship and he said i changed his life when i met him. We still dont live together. Any thoughts on this? I would do anything to get him back.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 27, 2019 at 2:15 am

      HI Anna!

      Sounds like you would benefit from a sensible ex recovery plan. 6.5 years is a good amount of time together in which roots get laid down and that can help with bringing you back together. So his behavior is unusual and very insensitive telling you out of the blue its over. Consider No Contact. Consider picking up my eBook too as it can help you more than I can here in these few words!

  9. Avatar


    January 14, 2019 at 4:24 am

    Hi Chris,
    There is, and never has been abuse. My ex has a temper, but so do I, and normally when one of us yells, the other goes straight in as well. The difference here is that I am controlling mine (mostly) or at least getting it back after a sentence.
    The problem he has is that he doesn’t see anything ‘big picture’. He sees that he has his kids, and wants to see his girlfriend, so they meet, even when they’ve only been officially dating for a couple of days. he sees that she’s nice to them, and they like her and are happy, so it’s fine. He doesn’t see the possible problem in the future of having come into and go out of their lives because you don’t know where a relationship is headed after 3 weeks. I can’t address this properly with him because he just gets angry and throws things that I’ve done (said I was taking the kids camping, not a discussion, but he had time to object) that even he says he didn’t have a problem with in my face.

  10. Avatar


    January 13, 2019 at 9:53 am

    Hi. I just had a massive fight with my ex over our kids and his new girlfriend. Has only been seeing for 3 weeks, and I told him I wasn’t comfortable with the amount of time she was spending with our kids for a relationship in this early stage, and definitely wasn’t comfortable with her babysitting on Saturday night while he went to work, I even said I’d take them so he wasn’t losing his shift. He told me he’d take care of it and tell her not to come over, it was a civil adult discussion. On Sunday my 6 year told told me she had babysat them. I called to discuss, and was calm the whole time, never raised my voice, and did everything in my power to make it a calm discussion, however he kept yelling and was fighting, even if I wasn’t taking the bait. what do I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 13, 2019 at 11:07 pm

      Hi Kate! I sorry you and your ex had such a terrible fight and I fully understand your position. It is insensitive of your ex to allow that to unfold. To the extent you can limit your interaction with him, that would be best. If he is abusive, leave the scene.

  11. Avatar


    January 10, 2019 at 10:27 am

    My guy of two months just broke up with me. We were exclusive and meeting each others friends and family and had future plans. Then it all fell apart. I feel hurt and confused.

    He has a very hostile relationship with his ex wife and refers to her very angrily and he is often sarcastic and judgy. That said, I did like him and he treated me very well.

    Here is what happened (from my perspective). We were spending a lot of time together over the holidays. The first week was bliss, his birthday and meeting my friends. He told me he was looking forward to knowing me better.

    Then the weekend happened (a few days before new years). On Friday we went to a concert and I got a little too high and was quiet. Still enjoyed, but quiet. Then on Sunday we went to a movie and he was in a sarcastic ranty negative mood. I was also quiet. I had never been quiet before during our two months, but it does happen.

    Then on new years eve, we ended up having a hard convo. If I were honest, I gave him advice on a goal he expressed without him asking. I was giving suggestions on how to achieve the goal. He totally and completely shut down. I felt bad and hugged him. He brought it up later. He said that talking about this topic makes him feel unworthy. I said I knew he is worthy. Then he brought it up the next morning saying talking about it gets him into his head and he beats himself up and I apologized profusely and said that I never wanted to take him to that place and wanted to support him how he wanted to be supported.

    He then pulled way way way back. We went to dinner a few days later and I could tell he had closed his heart to me. I asked what had shifted and he just said he was not feeling it as much anymore. He said it was not the conversation, that he had heard me and knew I gave good ideas. Unfortunately, I pushed on why and he gave me no answer and I got snippy and told him about how he is so negative. He said “I have been told that before and this is who I am”. In the end, I gave him a hug and left. I unfollowed him and I removed him from my Instagram as well.

    I feel gutted. What happened? Is it reasonable to end things over one hard conversation? I know giving advice not asked for is bad, but that bad? Why was he so touchy and is this all my fault? What should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 11, 2019 at 12:44 am

      Hi there Tall Girl! Pretty cool name! So a lot going on here. I am so sorry you feel gutted. You can get better a lot faster than you think. One’s recovery is the key to my Program. Never is a breakup the fault of one person. I think just giving each other a lot of space for now is best and also you should have a sensible game plan to follow to help you with thru all this. Pick up my 485 page eBook, “PRO”. That’s a huge start and tap into all my resources on the site!

  12. Avatar


    December 22, 2018 at 7:32 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I am an interested follower of your site. So here’s the scenario:
    We have been married for the last 2 1/2 years and known each other for a year prior to that. It is a long distance marriage and I made a trip to his country last month. The next trip will be a few months.

    Just a few days ago, I was on heat and texted him about it. I wanted to let him know that I was feeling sexy and wanted to start romancing him. He said that we should look forward to the trip. Then there was network problem from his side. I said that I felt like I was being ignored. His reply was the statement sounded like a good excuse to sleep with other people. I was quite shocked by this and explained that I missed him and wanted to feel amorous only with him. He didn’t reply nor read my texts. I called him twice but he didn’t picked nor called back.

    His reply really hurt me a lot because I didn’t think of it that way and didn’t thought of anyone else other than him. We had a lot of arguments in the first year of our marriage (faithfulness, time, understanding him, communication, culture differences, finance).

    What do I do now?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 23, 2018 at 4:13 am

      Hi Samantha….thanks so much for visiting my site. You will find a ton of content and resources! I am sorry your ex hurts you so much, but there are many things you can do to begin the healing. It get into it in great detail in my eBook “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” and “The No Contact Rule Book”! Some guys can be selfish and they may not see that unless awakened from their paradigm. I think you should take some time and space for yourself right now to clear your mind and hopefully he will realize he needs to apologize to you.

  13. Avatar


    October 27, 2018 at 10:31 pm

    What if I have never been needy? What if his problem was that I’m too independent and he feels insecure and sometimes jealous? Does NC work in this situation? I love him, completely love him, and can’t seem to understand that it’s real. He’s afraid I’ll leave him.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 28, 2018 at 4:25 am

      Hi Lisa!

      Some guys are insecure and don’t know how to interact well with an independent woman. But you should never change. And independent woman is an unbelievable asset to a secure man. So yes, he has some learning to do and perhaps NC might help him appreciate your value and the wonderful qualities you offer. If you have not tapped into one of my eBooks, consider it, as they will help you with your ex recovery efforts!

  14. Avatar


    September 11, 2018 at 1:55 am

    My ex “ended things ” with me the end of July over an argument based on my questions surrounding his interactions with woman on social media – I only asked questions like who is who and he did not like that- Mind you we been dating 6 months – moving very slowly – kids havnt met eachother and so on – I have met his oldest and hes met mine- anyways I have questions and boundries so I laid it out – he was not happy about it- basically he ended things but continued to text everyday like nothing happend – said he wants no lables. I let it go and went no contact for a couple days he just kept bugging- we started hanging out agian- than he shut it down agian- than I backed off again and low in behold he contact again – I bit on it -went back AGAIN and then he just did the same thing agian- the most I have gone not responding is 2 days – and he was so mad at me- I am so lost – like you dont want this so let me be – keeps jerking me around- says he doesnt want a Gf but would just like things to go back the way they were – I am not interested in going backwards- so we just keep arguing about it- I hate this – I really care about him but this last time I feel like something is going on – hes jst texting me but no invitations to see me just texting – and its becoming less and less. We argued all day yesterday and I stopped replying and nothing now – this is the weirdest sito ever-
    What do I do – do I respond when he texts GM and skips over all of the other stuff like nothing happend or just do I disappear?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 11, 2018 at 3:30 am

      Hi Meagan….so if he is breaking and running after you questioned him about his contacts with women on social media, then he is acting selfishly. He seems to want everything his way, but life and relationships don;t work that way, unless a person allows it. I do think you should go into NC and you can give him a heads up you needs some quiet, reflective time to heal and work on being the best “you”. Pick up my eBook, so you understand more fully how NC works as part of an overall ex recovery plan. Far too much to cover here!

  15. Avatar


    August 26, 2018 at 3:13 pm

    Hi Chris,
    So I’ve been talking to this guy for 3 months. It was great. We texted everyday, seen each other a few times a week. We even took a few weekend trips away. So we had a talk at the beginning of the 3rd month and we both decided that we’re not ready for a relationship at the moment but we both enjoy what we have. So we decided to continue as we are for now. We were okay and would occasionally get into some arguments here and there. Unfortunately in the last week there seemed to be a lot of tension and he was a bit distant even in person. So when I seen him last week and tried to address it, it turned into a huge argument (I have to take some blame for my approach). He texted me the next day saying we should end this. I tried explaining to him how I felt but ultimately it came down to the same consensus. I figured we need a few days of space so I told him I would return his things next week. I really want things to work with us eventually. What should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 27, 2018 at 3:54 am

      Hi Zan….seems like you both needs some space. The tension seems to keep mounting and that needs to be relieved. I write extensively about this topic of planned no contact in my eBooks, podcasts, posts. Go tap into some wisdom. Having an ex recovery plan will also help you thorough out this period. Just visit my home page for more tools and resources

  16. Avatar


    April 7, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    Hi. So 9 days ago my ex boyfriend broke up with me. It was the day before my birthday, sooo, my birthday this year was litteraly the worst birthday I ever had. We were together for 1,5 year. 5 months ago the arguments came. 1 month ago or something like that he texted me that he wanted to break up because “we didn’t fit together anymore”, buuuuut I begged him to stay.. so he did and texted me “I’m so so so sorry… I didn’t meant anything. I love you to much to leave you and I’m to scare to lose you”. So all those damn tears, wasted (sorry). But this happened two more times, I think. But I begged him to stay every time, so he did. The reason that he wanted to break up with me was because all of our fights. We fought everyday, one day we started to fight because of a PEN. And because I couldn’t give him the space he needed (I only have two friends and I’m very depressed).. When he wanted to hangout with his friends I got really sad because I was so alone, and when I got sad he told me “I need to be with my friends to.. I can’t only be with you” and I told him that I know that, and I don’t know why the hell I’m getting sad and upset over THAT?! But then, a few weeks ago he started to text with this girl.. And they went out of the classroom in the middle of a lesson together. They started to talk more and more and it seemed like something was going on.. This girl is my ex best friend and we split when my boyfriend came. I didn’t feelt respected in that friendship so I desiced to leave her. But when I did that my ex told me that everything was his fault. My ex bff new bff told me that my bf just cared about her and that they just wanted to make each other happy (if you need know more about that I can tell you more). So, the 29th of march, the day he broke up with me! We started to fight when I asked him “what the hell is going on between you guys?!” and then we just kept fighting. He told me “You have to go home, you feel to bad” so I said “Give me your damn phone so I can fkn call my mom!” and when I was going to call her, I found it 🙂 His lovely secret. It was her name and hearts. A few hours later of fighting he told me “Please, please, can we just break up?”. I begged but it didn’t work. I ran away and just cried. A few moments later a teacher came and helped me, I was so broken (tell me if you need to know more). Today my ex went to this girls house… and he was been hot and cold to me. The first 4 days he was like “I miss you” “I love you” “We’ll just give this some time”. But on Tuesday he was like “We’ll never get back together, give up!!” “Move on, I will do that”. So, if you summarize it all: How do you get back with your ex boyfriend if you was needy, begging, and there was much fights? We both know that most of our fights were because of the friend thing, and if I only get a few friends that problem is gone… But he says that no matter how much I change, it won’t be us.. Please please help me.. What is going on??! I won’t take a “there is nothing you can do” I’m sorry.. But I love him to much and I know he loves me to but he won’t show it (I know him to well)

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 9, 2018 at 11:39 am

      I find this pendulum of emotions from exes is quite common!

      So, don’t get all freaked out about it. I have seen many a man say this and then immediately do a 180!

  17. Avatar


    April 4, 2018 at 12:00 pm

    My bf and I broke up last night. – I blocked and deleted him on a phone app site where we met, he was so angry trying to find out why. When we finally talk and made up, I told him it’s better to remain friends and break it off.. and not talk for 3 week… he got so angry and called me unstable and childlish. He said he can’t believe I am asking not to talk for weeks. I had thought about it and I felt bad for the whole situation, I felt like it was my fault. So I texted him and I apologize and told him I really like him… he saw my text my didn’t reply ! I don’t know what to do

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 5, 2018 at 11:01 pm

      I feel like it would have been better to just go into NC. It’s way more effective doing it that way as opposed to giving a warning or saying,

      “lets not talk for a week or two.”

  18. Avatar

    Laura jonez

    March 17, 2018 at 10:47 pm

    Hi! My ex fiancee broke it off with me just over 2 weeks ago and it’s been a rollercoaster. I found out he was talking to another girl saying he was single (but not being flirty) on dates that we were on holiday together! Everything seemed ok but then I went crazy at him and told him never to speak to me again! And he hasn’t so far. Should I just initiate NC???

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 22, 2018 at 6:00 pm

      Hi Laura,

      If you can talk first after both of you had cooled down, talk first to resolve things.

  19. Avatar


    March 12, 2018 at 2:52 am

    Hello there,

    Met this guy online since December last year and we have also now met both sides families and friends. We traveled for a 3 weeks Dec/Jan. Everything was going on fine but we have a distance between us that is we are in the same country but with an hour flight away. I am working towards stationing myself closer to him. However, we hardly call or text as he admitted that he is not used to being in a distanced relationship and is not used to calling or texting. So our only hope was for me to move there. While I am still working on it as my boss is still thinking about it but there’s high chance due to benefiting the business, on Friday night, I thought of calling him to say hi, we talked for a bit. Then we were discussing about my demo (to prove I am fit to move around) and he told me what I should do and to follow his footsteps and all. As i was trying to feedback, he did not listen and we talked over one another. At last, he said he has been successful doing what he is doing and saying I was being arrogant and ignorant. I fought back saying if you are that successful then why were you bankrupted twice. Then he hanged up and message me and said we are done and that I have killed the relationship because of the bankruptcy I have said. I know I should not have said what I have said but now that it’s happened I don’t know what I should do because I feel bad that I have hurt him. Still if not because he did not listen to me, I would not have fought him back wanting comfort and listening from his end. Should I call him back now that we are cool off few days? Can I get him back despite saying something hurtful to him? What can I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 14, 2018 at 5:20 pm

      Hi Melissa,

      Apologize once sincerely first through text and then waitt for his reply.. If after 1 week he didn’t reply, start a 21 day nc rule

  20. Avatar

    DeAndra Gentry

    February 13, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    Help we were friends first were togetger 2 yrs.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 18, 2018 at 12:45 pm

      Hi Deandra,

      When and why did you break up?

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