What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back

Get Your Boyfriend Back After A Fight

Getting your ex boyfriend back after a fight isn’t as impossible a task as people make it out to be. Now, I don’t want to mislead you here. It is going to take hard work, good timing and the right strategy to position yourself in a place where you have a chance of winning your ex boyfriends back. Luckily, I put this page together for you to break down the overall strategy that you should use if you had a big blowout with your ex. I also feel it is important to point out that no matter what anyone says there are no guarantees when it comes to this kind of stuff. Anyone who says they can promise you that they can get your ex back 100% of the time is a scam artist and I would say you are better off moving on then listening to their advice.

Speaking of advice, everything I talk about on this page, every strategy, tactic and idea I have derived from the foremost experts in the relationship world, stories I have found online and my own personal experience. So, you can rest easy knowing that I am being up front and honest with you. I know this may sound a little goofy but I honestly want to become the number one authority in the world on helping women get back with their boyfriends (if they choose to.) I work on this site every day and will respond to every single comment so feel free to ask a question if you have one.

What This Page Is About

Well, in a nutshell it is about fighting. Using this page it is my goal to help you understand what you need to do to get your boyfriend back after a monster fight. I am going to be talking about the following things.

  • What causes couples to fight the most.
  • How to approach a fight (there is a good way and a bad way to fight.)
  • What to do after the fight (and breakup) to get your ex back.

Now, before I move on to the next section on this page I do want to point out that this page WILL NOT tell you everything you need to know about getting an ex boyfriend back. I know, I know but don’t fret I have a couple of solutions for you. Yes, this page is an epic page. However, that’s all it is, just a page on this site. If you want more in-depth instructions on what you need to do to get your boyfriend back I recommend reading ALL the pages of this site (there is something to be gained from all of them.)

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Fighting… Good Or Bad For Ex Recovery?

fight club

This page is focusing specifically on women (who broke up/have been broken up) with their boyfriends because of a big fight. Nothing can get your emotions out of whack like a good ole fight can. All of a sudden you become angry, frustrated and say some very hurtful things to someone you really care deeply about. This brings up a few interesting questions. What do couples fight about the most? Is fighting normal? Do you even have a chance of getting back with your ex?

Hmm… lets take things one question at a time.

What Do Couples Fight About The Most?

I am going to go ahead and raise my hand here and say that I have fought about some pretty silly things with my exes before. I am sure most people can relate on some level. However, I naturally go curious and decided to look up what the average couple will fight about. Here is what I found:

  • Free Time- Girls tend to want their boyfriends to spend more time with them. Guys don’t want to be with their girlfriends, they want to be with their friends and have a guys night out.
  • Money- This is for our our more mature couples out there that live together. The boyfriend will usually complain that the girl spends too much while the girl will complain that the boyfriend doesn’t spend enough. No joke!
  • Politics- This is for a select group of couples who have two differing political parties. Democrat girl, republican guy. Independent girl, republican guy. You get the idea.
  • Sex- What a racy topic huh? Haha, no couples fight about whether to have sex before marriage or after. Sometimes a guy will want to do something a girl will not. Of course, sometimes a girl will want to do something a guy will not.
  • Jealousy- Ahh… the most famous relationship killer. Guys can get jealous of girls just as much as girls can get jealous of guys. Either way, a lot of fights are caused because jealousy plays a central role.

Is Fighting Normal?couple fight

Fighting is absolutely normal duhh. Can you imagine how boring the world would be if everyone agreed about everything and there were no arguments? This may be a little controversial but I say, embrace the conflict. As long as you fight in a healthy way (where you don’t horribly demean the other person) you can actually have a healthy discussion that strengthens the relationship. What is an example of a healthy “fight?”

  • Make sure you address the issue. So many couples choose to call each other hurtful names rather than work together to communicate their real issues.
  • Yelling is a bad thing. There is no need to yell. Just talk softly. Sure, you may be so angry that you could punch a hole in the wall but there is no need to yell about it. Talk softly and slowly so you can calmly address the issue.
  • Be as specific as possible when addressing an issue or if ask for specifics if you are unsure. Specifics are good!
  • Eventually you are going to have to cooperate with this person to fix whatever problem you may be fighting about it. Make sure you resolve the problem.

Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a couple that fights in the “preferred” way. Most fights end up being nothing but who can call who the worse name or who can hurt each other the most. Ironically, that leads us to our next question.

Do You Have A Chance Of Getting Your Ex Back After A Fight?

I am going to be honest with you here. If I were to help someone get their ex boyfriend back the ideal “student” would be someone who broke up with their ex boyfriend because of a big fight. So, yes you have a pretty darn good shot at getting your ex back if you broke up directly because of a fight.

One of the first pages I wrote when I created this site was having a legitimate reason for getting back together. On that page I basically state the importance of having a real reason for getting back with your ex. In my opinion a good legitimate reason for getting back together with your ex is if you were broken up because of a fight. Don’t you owe it to yourself to give the relationship a try, enduring the fights in a healthy way?

No Contact Is A MUST

no eye contact

If you aren’t familiar with the infamous no contact rule then I suggest you get familiar with it.

(I talk about it in depth in my system.)

In short, the no contact rule is something you implement immediately after a breakup. You can’t call, text, email or facebook your ex at all. To take things a step further, you can’t even respond if your ex contacts you. I know this may seem a little harsh but trust me when I say it is vital for your particular situation. Lets take a moment to break down why the no contact rule will work especially well in your case.

You had a big fight with your ex boyfriend that ultimately ended in a breakup. Things were said on both sides, hurtful things. Emotions are running high and your first instinct is to call up your ex boyfriend and apologize hoping that you can somehow save the relationship. Maybe you already tried this tactic but had no success at all.

The reason this doesn’t work (most of the time) is that your boyfriend is expecting you to do this. As sick as I think it is, there is a part of all men (myself included) that enjoys being “in control” of things. Every time a girl calls us up and asks to hang out or to patch things up we immediately pull the “oh yea, I definitely got her!”

It’s human nature to shun what we have and to want what we don’t have.

This is why the no contact rule works so well. By successfully implementing it you go from being the girl that he had to the girl that he can’t have and that makes you so much more attractive in his eyes. Let me put it to you this way, have you ever liked someone so much that you texted but they never texted back? You spent all day double checking your phone wondering why they haven’t texted back? Surely there must be something wrong with them so you logged on to their Facebook account only to see that they have been posting updates all day long. Sure, you are angry but the next day you always text them back hoping you still have a shot.

Sound familiar?

Now, can you imagine having your ex boyfriend doing that type of stuff over you? That is exactly what the no contact rule, if implemented correctly, will do for you. It turns the tables and gives you the power in the relationship. Now, there is actually quite a bit more to the no contact rule than just cutting yourself off from your ex (like what you are supposed to do during it and how long you have to implement it for) but I don’t want you to worry about it because I created a very long and in-depth guide detailing everything you could possibly want to know about the no contact rule here.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Ok, But How Do You Get Them Back?

im back

If you are able to successfully make it through the No Contact period one of three things is going to happen.

  1. Your ex will have contacted you asking to see you.
  2. Your ex will have contacted you asking how you are or asking some other general question.
  3. Your ex will have not contacted you at all.

I am going to use this section to advise you on how to approach all of the situations above.

Your Ex Contacts You Asking To See You

Obviously, this is the most positive outcome of the no contact period. While I will admit it is the best thing that can happen it is also very very rare. The goal of this page is to help you get your ex back but I need you to understand that even though your boyfriend contacting you like this is really good you can’t get too overconfident. You have to make sure every step you take is on your terms and not his. Remember, you have to be the “unattainable” and there is nothing unattainable about running back to his arms the first time he shows you a little attention. My advice is to follow the strategies laid out here. Know, that you have him hooked but in order to reel him in you are going to have to doing everything just right.

Your Ex Just Generally Contacts You

This is another really good outcome. The most common one actually. It isn’t as good as (option one) above but the fact that he contacted you means you are on his mind, a lot. Take solace in the fact that he is thinking about you and there are clearly some unresolved feelings from his side. The question now becomes how do you proceed? Well, your best play is to take things really slowly and make sure you check out my step by step guide on how to get him back here. The whole thing is my masterpiece. No joke, I spent a month writing it and it is by far the most popular page on this website. It will take you through every step of the process. Yup, every single step!

You Ex Doesn’t Contact You At All

Oh my gosh, the world is ending…. sike! I can’t tell you how many questions I get from women whose exes didn’t contact them during the no contact period and seem to think they have no chance winning him back. The truth of the matter is that it isn’t an ideal situation but your chances are hardly over. Again, I want you to reference my how to get your ex back guide. There you will find an exact step by step guide on what to do.


Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

246 thoughts on “Get Your Boyfriend Back After A Fight”

  1. DeAndra Gentry

    February 13, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    Help we were friends first were togetger 2 yrs.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 18, 2018 at 12:45 pm

      Hi Deandra,

      When and why did you break up?

  2. Lena

    December 25, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    Me and my ex ended things pretty well,we agreed that both of us needed some time alone and everything was ok until a few days after a breakup when he told his friends that he likes this other girl (luckily one of them told me).I was so mad and I asked him to get my stuff back and we had a huge fight after which he tried to convince me,that he doesn’t have any feelings for her.Even though I wasn’t convinced the fight ended good I guess?The day after he saw me smoking cigarettes and threatened to tell everyone and telling me that I’m ruining my health,again we had a fight and it was a HUGE one,he blocked me everywhere he could and even though we see eachother on a daily basis (we’re classmates)none of us has tried talking to the other one in a direct,non-provokative way,he even told his twin sister (who is my best friend) that he hates me and doesn’t ever want to get back with me or even be friends with me.But i dont know,I really want him back and I dont think i saw everything ending like this..Please help me,thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 27, 2017 at 9:04 pm

      Hi Lena,
      you can follow the advice on this one:
      EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

  3. tehnia

    October 31, 2017 at 11:21 am

    Dear Amor,

    Can you help me please… I have left multiple comments and emails … to Chris but I do not get a response …. ir eally need your help please ….. help me.


    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 31, 2017 at 9:24 pm

      Hi Tehnia,

      The emails are handlef by Leia, our team mate.. If you replied to those texts, restart the count and do at least 21 days and check this one:
      How To Take Charge Of Your Life After A Breakup (One Woman’s Incredible Story)
      And this one:
      Desperation 101- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Looking Desperate

  4. Dushee

    August 30, 2017 at 7:42 am

    Hi…one year back I went Dubai for a tour. During that time I met this good looking young Egyptian man and we fall on love. Once in every 3 months I visited Dubai only to see him and now it’s been one year for our relationship. For this whole past year we text each other almost daily and even we don’t stay in one country we were in so much love. 3 months back the commitment from his side started to get little… and the communication got so much less from his part. Several times I had so many issues with him cuz his lack of caring and reduced text. He always handled the every situation very patiently and never give up on me even I made so many issues for reduced texting. But I always see he is online chatting but not with me . Since I’m in another country it’s totally out of my control but he kept chatting with some other whole night but one or two texts only to me. And he asked me to come to him telling he has so many problems with his family and he is solving them online which I felt very sure was a big lie. So again I went to Dubai to him but even I come he was online all the time and when I ask he said it was his sister where I know very well not . Later I just catch up who it was and it was his cousin sister and they are in love. But he said never and said he loves only me. He never wanted to give up on me and her too. So I shouted and he went away from me telling our relationship is over coz I shouted. Then he blocked me in every way he could and was freely on chatting with her leaving me alone. I waited so many days alone in Dubai but he never came up. I got so pissed off coz I sacrificed my whole life only to him but he never took care of me telling I shouted and not trusting. After so many days I lost my patience on this liar and I went to his office and slapped him upfront of his friends. And after I come back to my room I contacted his cousin sister and she said they both are In love which they started only 2 months back. My heart broken. And she said that Egyptian telling he doesn’t want me anymore coz he loves his cousin sister only . I feel so heart broken… coz that man loved me so so dearly before that woman comes to his life. And now all gone… I shouted him… I hit him in front of his friends and he is so angry with me now. But I love him so so dearly and plz tell me is there any chance that I can win him back coz we were so much in love before that woman comes. But there are lot of shouting and hitting occurred…I just need to know is there any chance I can have him back

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2017 at 7:06 pm

  5. Maria

    August 17, 2017 at 11:06 am

    Hello… so my situation is very complecated (sorry for any grammatical errors). My bf of 2 months(i know it’s not a lot but it was beautiful) broke up with me because he didn’t love me anymore and of course i begged him for another chance but he didn’t gave me one…so i tried in so many ways to see him to talk but efen if he said yes he never wanted… the worst part is that…one night i saw him with a friend and i approached to him saying that i needed to talk at least 5 minutes. What he did was taking out his phone and putting on the timer… i tried again to convince him to try to go out with me (not even to be togheter) but he didn’t listen, he was very stressed and he continuosly was saying that i was too stubborn and didn’t understand that it was really over meanwile laughing about me and that i had useless feelings for him and that i need to move on…. so i just was so furious that i kick him in the ass and slapped him twice… so now i don’t even have a chance to be friend with him and he said clearly that he hates me and do not want to know anything about me….

  6. Lydia

    July 31, 2017 at 1:04 am

    My boyfriend and I who LIVE together recently “broke up” because of a huge drunken argument. It was scarring for both of us and the most hurtful things we’ve ever said to eachother were said. I begged him to give it time and space (I went to my parents for a few days) and he agreed. I came back one night and he seemed very bitter with me and ignored me. The next night after work I texted him when I got home (when he was still at work) asking if he had time tonight to come talk because I just needed someone to talk to about other life things and usually he’s the one that listens to me vent…. he replied that he’s quote on quote “not ready at all to give me any affection or sympathy right now.” And that I should go stay at my moms again. I explained that it’d be nice to stay at home again in my own bed. He said fine but he’s sleeping on the couch. I then replied saying that I get we hurt eachother and said awful things but there needs to come a time we start talking with respect, and that we shouldn’t continue to hurt eachother for the hell of it. He then replied “you’re acting like this is something that’s going to be looked past eventually, it’s not. Like this is over you know that right?” I was at a loss for words because I thought we were taking space like he agreed. I then reacted with my emotions and sent a bunch of texts pleading and begging and doing all that I shouldn’t have! The only two replies after that was “I’m not giving in anymore. This is a repetitive cycle and it’s unhealthy for the both of us. This needs to be done” and “not doing this. Stop messaging me please” so I then continued sending emotional reactive messages til I finally said “I’m going back to my moms for a bit. Please don’t text me unless you need to talk” … we didn’t just end because of the big fight, but that was definitely the trigger. We fight quite often but weeks before the big drunken fight we had addressed ways to quit fighting so much so I do dont get why he wouldn’t throw the towel in over the big drunken fight. It’s been 3 days since those messages and I’ve been at my moms again since. He won’t man up and say we’re done to my face, he won’t talk about anything to my face, he hasn’t unfollowed or deleted me on social media, and we haven’t addressed living situations since we still live together. I don’t know what to do! IS it really over or do I have a chance to get him back? The mixed signals he’s giving is exhausting help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 31, 2017 at 4:12 pm

  7. Upasana

    July 19, 2017 at 7:17 pm


    I had a big fight last month with my boyfriend of 3 years wherein I had said something really mean and hurting things to him in anger which I did not mean at all. I even apologised to him many times and tried to reason with him. But he said he lost all respect and love for me as he didnt expect me to react that way to a particular situation. When probed further, he told me it is not just this incident but all the past incidents where we had fought due to one reason or the other (mostly with me expecting certain things from him), came back to him haunting. He says he has lost all hope to spend his life with me, we were all set to get married next year. We tried a two week break which I could not implement successfully for most part of the time but ended up texting and calling him. Today he told me he is absolutely sure he wants to end this and doesnt want anymore time to think. After much convincing, he has finally agreed for another month of taking ‘space’ and time, but I dont know if I should have any hopes. Please help and advise what should I do 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 23, 2017 at 5:40 pm

      Hi Upasana,

      Are you in no contact period now?

  8. Nayantara

    July 11, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    Hey. Me and My boyfriend were dating 10 months and were in a long distance relationship. Being an LDR, we used to fight a lot since our relationship started as LDR only but he used to come to meet me atleast for good 6-7 days every month and that’s how I realized we fit together like pieces of puzzles. Now recently we have been fighting a lot since he got a new job and instead of moving to my city, he is moving to some other city. So after that we came to a mutual decision that I will also move to the city he is moving in. Now, we had a big fight recently just first day before his job and he started ignoring me for days and in which, I continuously texted him and said a few mean things like I knew he was sleeping around and all. He got too angry and blocked me everywhere. So after getting furious, I contacted his sister to look into the matter as I am moving to his city and things would get (as we always hoped) but somehow, she also took his side and asked me to give him space and all. Now, what should I do? I’m taking this big step to make our relationship REAL and less complicated and he doesn’t want me, what does it mean?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2017 at 1:06 pm

      He’s tired of the fights.. When are you moving there?

  9. reb

    May 31, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    My boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 months, about 11 days ago we got into a big argument and it was over text message. he said that i because i could tell him how much i’ve been there for him when we get in an argument that i was arrogant and that i will never change. against better judgement i begged him and sent him a bunch of text messages trying to explain myself. All he did was read them with no reply and blocked me on snapchat. We had little tiffs before an he usually cools off quickly but this is the longest amount of time of me not talking to him. I’ve had no choice but to reflect on myself and truly see the error of why ways. How do I show him ive made the strides to change and acknowledge that I was wrong. He’s stubborn and sensitive and when hurt just runs from the problem instead of talking about it and moving on. I dont want to feel as if im forcing him to make nice if hes not ready but i’m truly sorry and would love for him to see how much impact his love and pain has on making me a better woman not only for him but for myself. i love him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 1, 2017 at 5:03 pm

      Hi Reb,

      start the count for the no contact period after this and start improving yourself, and being active in posting in social media too..

  10. Natalie

    May 24, 2017 at 8:10 am

    Hi Amor,

    So I am dating this guy for about 8 months and lately we have been arguing a lot. After every argument he says that he is not sure about me and he thinks we should break up. I am tired of hearing this.

    Last night after a fight he said that he is not sure about me and that he doesnt have time for these fights in his life and broke up with me. I tried to convince him to give another chance but he didnt listen.

    Today he had a dental treatment, so I called to ask how did it go, we spoke for 5 minutes and then I hung up. Should I call and check on him every few days because it is a prolonged treatment or should I do NC.
    I want this break up threat to stop after every fight. What should I do?


    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 25, 2017 at 5:29 pm

      what do you do after every fight? were you always the one chasing him? If you are, do you want to try being more focused in yourself and in your activities? Have your own life. Be an ungettable girl.

  11. Joe

    May 12, 2017 at 8:53 am

    Hii I m Joe…Me n my boyfrnd were in a relationship for 4years…last Sunday we had a fight..it’s jus misunderstanding…he warned me that he dont want me anymore…I have been texting him…but no response still.it’s killing me literally …what should I do? Plz tell me…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 12, 2017 at 7:43 pm

      give him space..let him be for now

  12. Emily

    April 23, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. On Friday everything was going well until I asked him if he wants to go with me to see this guy that was my co-worker. He said no, but he obviously seemed pissed, because there were rumours that I liked my co-worker before. However, he told me he’s not pissed, but then I thought he was and was worried for the whole morning. I had quite a bad day so I started yelling at him saying don’t try to fuck around with me if you’re not pissed, but then he said he was actually jealous and it just got into a big fight, and he went silent for 40 minutes sitting beside me and I kept asking him why he’s not talking to me. And then suddenly he started saying stuff like he thinks dating is boring and tiring and being single is better, I apologized to him, he said it wasn’t me, it’s him. I tried to make him change his mind but eventually I left because he seemed very determined. We didn’t talk for a day, and yesterday he messaged me saying sorry for making such a sudden decision and hope I find someone better, and I said I still miss him. He said sorry, he’s being a jerk but we can just be friends. So I gave up trying to convince him, but deep down I still really, really want him back. What do I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 29, 2017 at 7:37 pm

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

  13. Danielle

    March 25, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    Hi, I’m Danielle. The man I’ve been with we weren’t exactly together but was working on it. We have been off and on for the past 3 years and had a child together about a year ago and he has a very strong independent character (ex military type) that has a hard time expressing good emotions. I’m the sensitive type and romantic type and I’ve always been head over heals crazy love about him but I never feel it back. We have had fights in the past and recently we strayed couples therapy and we were going absolutely great for 3 weeks straight then we missed two sessions with the therapist because of appointments and very recently had a fight that ended in police involvement. I feel now that it was unnecessary and it shouldn’t of gone that far and I don’t want it to be the end, but I have no idea how to fix it at this point. Please help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 26, 2017 at 1:25 pm

      Hi Danielle,

      aside from the advice above, check the links below:
      How Do I Prevent My Boyfriend From Ending Our Relationship

      The Ungettable Girl

  14. misha

    March 21, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    we were in relationship from last 2 years even after 1 year after every fight he said leave me leave me………….but this time we had bad bad fight and he is not agree for patchup I messaged him many time ,go to his house he asked me to leave his house,he said I don’t want to sex wid you if u will be here ,we will sex and saying we can be friend but we can not be in relationship now what should i do i ma very disturbed.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 25, 2017 at 11:30 am

      Hi Misha,

      dont be friends with benefits with him..do the no contact rule

  15. Ally

    February 23, 2017 at 6:52 pm


    I’ve been dating my boyfriend long distance, for about a year. A few days ago we got in a disagreement. It first started with me being upset with him for forgetting our anniversary. He said he was sorry and super stressed work.
    This led to me saying that he can always talk to me about it, but he insisted he didn’t want to worry me before he goes into deployment. This is where things took a turn for the worse. I mentioned that I don’t like to tell him certain things that I know are going to add to his stress.
    He told me that maybe we should take a break until he’s done with the military. I left him at least 7 messages and then I realized the conversation was over. He’s been ignoring me ever since. I have no idea what to do. Would no contact even work in this situation?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2017 at 9:44 pm

      Hi Ally,

      There’s no guarantee that it will work, you just have to try.

  16. Miranda

    February 21, 2017 at 5:54 pm


    I had wrote a very long detailed comment explaining my situation. It said it was waiting for a response, but it hasn’t shown up on here? Not sure if it was responded to?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2017 at 10:58 pm

      Hi Miranda,

      it’s still in moderation in mine, I just haven’t reached it. Did you mean it totally disappeared in yours?

      Try at least 30 days.. continue to be active in improving yourself and being active in posting. Hopefully after nc, he has cooled down.

    2. Miranda

      February 24, 2017 at 2:50 am

      Thanks for all the advice

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2017 at 2:42 pm

      You’re welcome Miranda!

    4. Miranda

      February 26, 2017 at 2:00 am

      Amor! Sorry to keep bombarding you with questions, but the other day after I submitted my most recent comment. Out of the blue I heard from one of my exes best friends via Facebook (his best friend and I are still friends on Facebook and he isn’t a member of the band and he’s also a positive sober role model in my ex’s life) he reached out to me to tell me that he is looking out for my ex and wanted me to know that because he was told I was worried about him. Now the only way he would have possibly heard that is from speaking to my ex! I responded by thanking him and telling him that my ex is an amazing person when he is sober. I also told him that I do miss my ex, but he has to work on himself and I mentioned that I was working on myself and enjoying things that I used to as well as keeping busy. His friend responded and said that my ex is lost and needs to figure out what he wants and needs and needs to find himself again. He said if we are meant to be together he will come back once he figures his life out and I need to give him space which I told him
      I haven’t spoke to him since the 6th. Should I just take this message with a grain of salt? Do you think my ex was trying to check up on me indirectly? Thanks so much!

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2017 at 7:20 pm

      It’s ok! You can ask anytime. yes, he can be checking in on you.. but whether he is checking in on you or not, what you said to his friend will reach your ex, because of course, he’s going to relay that. So, just continue improving yourself.

    6. Miranda

      February 26, 2017 at 8:53 pm

      I’m continuing to improve myself! I’ve been in the gym as much as I can which is something I used to love to do and I’m finally getting a sense of my identity back instead of worrying about what my ex is up to. I’m also on day 20 of no contact. I hope my response to his friend was okay. Even though the last time I spoke to my ex, we were both angry. I have nothing bad to say about him and I made sure I wasn’t negative in any aspect when his friend messaged me. Thanks for all your help! If I need more help, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from me again!

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2017 at 9:38 pm

      That’s very good! Keep it up even after nc. I’ll wait for your update!

  17. Miranda

    February 21, 2017 at 12:22 am


    My ex boyfriend and I were dating for 3 months. At the same time we started dating he had joined a band. He stated when we started dating that he was sober for 2 years and didn’t drink. I was totally fine with that and actually admired him for it. Fast forward 6 weeks and I noticed that he had started to drink when he was with the band. This concerned me because I noticed how his personality would change. (I would go to his shows and not drink to be supportive) I didn’t want to fight about this issue, but I felt that it needed to be brought up and I told him my concerns. He told me he was going to stop drinking. For the next several weekends nothing changed and we continued to argue about this issue. I finally said that I would no longer be attending his shows on the weekend. (What I don’t see won’t hurt me) I stood my ground and didn’t attend the next show. Two days prior to me boycotting his show he asked me if I wanted to meet his family and I was so happy. I met them and everything went well. His mom even added me on Facebook. He’s told me that he loves me also and explained the exact moment that he knew he loved me. Fast forward a to that Sunday and we were supposed to go to the movies. He was with the band the night before and was late coming over. I was very cold towards him and asked him whether or not he wanted to be with me and he said yes, he just wanted to stop fighting. I told him that we needed to resolve the big issue (the only issue) that we’ve been having regarding the drinking. And he simply stated he wanted to just not fight. The whole next week he was being a little distant, but I brushed it off. The night I was supposed to go to his show, he broke up with me. He stated that he was so stressed out with everything and he is very uncertain about our future and that he feels uncertainty isn’t a good thing. I then called him and of course let my emotions get the best of me. He stated he will never feel the way he felt about me the way he did in the beginning. My friend saw how distraught I was and asked his ex if this is a pattern with him and of course it is. His ex unfortunately told him that my friend contacted her. He texted me and said that I need to accept that we aren’t together and now he’s angry and we need to maintain our space. I responded and said he needs to get his life together and become sober and grow up (not the nicest thing to say 🙁 ) but I was angry. He broke up with me January 27th and texted me with the angry text on february 6th. I haven’t reached out or heard from him since. I would like to think this can be resolved. I know the person he can be and how he was in the first 6 weeks of our relationship. I want to do NC, but I don’t know for how long? We aren’t friends on Facebook anymore, but my posts are public. He looks like he’s having so much fun without me in his life. Do I have any chance at all? Please help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2017 at 10:58 pm

      Hi Miranda,

      it’s still in moderation in mine, I just haven’t reached it. Did you mean it totally disappeared in yours?

      Try at least 30 days.. continue to be active in improving yourself and being active in posting. Hopefully after nc, he has cooled down.

    2. Miranda

      February 22, 2017 at 2:02 am

      Thanks Amor! I can now see it. If I don’t hear from him after 30 days and I continue to see him posting that he’s having so much fun with the band and his friends….do I just give up and move on? I found out yesterday he’s even spending time with a younger girl who is a mutual friend. Now I’m very upset. I joined the gym and have been working on myself and getting back to things that I enjoy, but I miss him. I don’t know if he’s relapsing and just wants to party and be single or if he actually did love me? That’s what I’m really struggling with. Any other suggestions would be great! Thanks!

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 22, 2017 at 10:31 pm

      If he’s moving on, the more reason he should see you are too. So, that after nc, he would be willing to take a chance on being friends again.

    4. Miranda

      February 23, 2017 at 6:22 pm

      That’s the problem…I don’t want to be friends with him. I want him back. I want to believe that he loved me. I don’t know if he is just going through a phase of partying and falling back into old patterns…He’s very stubborn so if I don’t hear from him after NC, would you suggest I reach out to him? I just don’t want to push him further away. I think at the end of the day, he didn’t want to keep fighting over his drinking with the band and decided that if he broke up with me his problem would be solved. I’m stubborn as well and I know I’ll be able to handle the last 2 weeks of this NC period and even longer if I need to. I would rather him reach out to me, but I don’t know how to accomplish that l?

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2017 at 9:50 pm

      Just to be clear, the problems wouldn’t go away. Especially if that’s something that he is the only one who has control with. That’s why we need to have standards, because we can’t control other people. We have to let go of the ones who don’t fit those standards. It’s ok to initiate nc, just be the one to end the conversation at high point. And you’re just starting out friendly, and then build rapport and attraction on the way. If you want him to initiate, set a limit until when you would wait before moving on.

    6. Miranda

      March 13, 2017 at 6:55 pm

      Hi Amor,

      My update isn’t a good one. I saw my ex for the first time on Saturday. He is “talking on a regular basis” to a girl that he knows I’m friends with. Which I think on both of their parts is messed up. I told her I thought it was messed up and she said it just kind of happened. I completed the 30 day nc. I’ve been improving myself. I’ve been in the gym 4 days a week. Me and this girl are polar opposites. She doesn’t have a job and she likes to party all the time. She’s also only 22. I’m 26 and my ex is going to be 28. I’m lost at what to do at this point. I really thought or I’m still hopeful that one day he will get back to how he was in the beginning, but now I’m having doubts. Do you think this is the grass is greener syndrome? Is there any hope for me and him in the future?

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2017 at 2:41 pm

      if she is less than you then she’s more likely a rebound but right now, do what you can control which is building rapport.. Start with that..

    8. Miranda

      March 15, 2017 at 3:07 pm

      Thanks Amor! I’m hoping she is just a rebound. I think his frame of mind is that she is equal to where he is in life right now. I bought PRO. I didn’t text him yet, because she knows that I’m upset that they are speaking and I’m sure she told him and he’s eating that up. I don’t want to jump the gun and look desperate. He couldn’t even look at me when I saw him on Saturday. Do you think he feels guilt for breaking up with me and that’s why he can’t acknowledge me? Also, how long do you think I should wait to contact him so it doesn’t seem suspicious?

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 16, 2017 at 3:56 pm

      yeah he can be feeling guilty..maybe he just doesn’t know what to say.. wait 3-5 days

  18. DivineD

    January 30, 2017 at 1:26 am


    I was dating a guy for the last 3 months. We had really great chemistry, conversation, and genuinely enjoyed one another’s company.

    We began having disagreements over little things, but he saw it as a BIG deal where I did not. We agreed to work on continuing to date and see if things would get better. Overall they did, but there were also instances where I chose not to go back and forth with him.

    We are both analytical / realistic individuals and sometimes we both just want to be right. He’s offered the you can be happy or be right theory but I do feel I shouldn’t always be the one to compromise.

    Last weekend was his birthday, I planned 3 surprises – a present, a class, and a massage.
    He didn’t care for the present which was a beard growth kit. He said he felt products could be more of a scam as opposed to really working. The class was kickboxing – he hated he questioned why I would sign someone up for that sort of class ? To me it was fun and different. I apologized and said it wouldn’t happen again. The massage he loved.
    The next day he couldn’t keep his hands off me while we were out. Mainly because of my outfit and it accentuating my curves. He asked for a photo and upon receiving it said he didn’t want to see the photo on social media. I told him he needed to decide if we should continue in the situationship or go into a monogamous relationship. He agreed.

    The next day we had a difference in opinion on splitting a bill for a restaurant later on in the week. I told him it’s a fine dining restaurant and I didn’t want to do that there. I said I can get just pay and he can get the movie (that day). I also added that it seemed tacky to me to split a bill in a 5 star restaurant and I didn’t want to be THAT couple.
    After the movin everything was fine and we got to discussing our plans together for the week. He wanted to confirm the restaurant and us spending time over the weekend.
    Now…he wasn’t in the best financial predicament but I didn’t allow it to halt my dating him. However – he basically explained his finances were about to get worse. I knew he’d rely heavily on me. So I asked if he given thought to us being committed ? He said he thought about it everyday. 80% of what we have is great. But then we have tiffs. He began to bring up instances of disagreements and how they did not sit well with him. He also brought up that he didn’t like how I may purposely not respond immediately to his text if he takes forever in texting me back (says he was genuinely busy).

    Long story really short – I decided to suggest we go our separate ways. I said he should date someone who he can have peaches and cream with since he focuses so much on the minor “disagreements”. He disagreed, but ultimately said we want the same things, we see value in one another, our timing on when a relationship should occur is just different.

    I didn’t want to hear it. We would spend so much time together, he did everything a boyfriend would minus the title. I didnt meet his friends nor his family. He hadn’t met mine either. He did say he loved me and wanted to marry me.

    It’s been 6 days of no contact. He has not tried to reach out to me. I would love to continue seeing him, but only if he wanted a commitment and could look past the small stuff.

    What do you recommend ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 30, 2017 at 3:02 pm

      Hi Divine d,

      maybe for him.the arguments are too much when you’ve only been dating for 3 months.. I think both of you needs this nc to think..

  19. mirabel

    November 8, 2016 at 7:25 am


    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 11, 2016 at 4:14 pm

      Hello Mirabel

  20. Cara

    October 23, 2016 at 10:12 pm

    Hi, this site is awesome. I am having trouble understanding the concept of “moving on without really moving on”…..for instance, Chris says to move on and do things like improve your life, post on facebook so your ex sees it, not dwell on the break up but act like you are moving on. But then he’s also said that the most successful ones are the ones that have moved on from their exes and then suddenly their exes appear in the picture again. It’ s hard to conceptualize moving on without moving on because for me, if I decide to move on from a guy, I am never taking them back….in my mind. It’s not a black and white concept or way of being. IT’s like being in limbo still. I am trying to move on from a guy but in the back of my mind, I am trying to improve myself and be a better person so that he also notices. Please help me understand and apply this concept.

    1. Cara

      October 24, 2016 at 12:36 am

      I just thought of a good analogy to explain my question on how to move on,
      To me it ‘s like picking a scab while also hoping it heals…and it’s like going in opposite directions.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 25, 2016 at 3:07 pm

      Hi Cara,

      it’s like preparing to move on.. you’ll heal, improve and be more rational..that way, when you try to rebuild rapport, you’re coming from more rational point of view.. So, when you’re talking, you’re just having fun, not demanding.. like a restart and when it’s not working, you’ll be able to walk away instead of chase..

      Women who choose to move on and got their ex back is more likely because they’ve become the ungettable girl..they’ve improved and they’ve let go..when they talk to their ex, it’s just for fun and then they go back to their lives again and focus in that.. therefore the guy sees them as a challenge and less of a responsibility

  21. Lisa

    October 5, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    so ive been coming to this site for a few weeks now and its kind of like a support person without the talking. without going in to to much detail my b/f and i started seeing each other last Chrsitmas (2015). we saw each other and became offically tigether in May 2016. (we’d known each other for a few years before and i’d always known i loved him, but timing wasnt great for either). Whe we bgan seeing each other he received some news that triggered a bit of a melt down in him, 6 months later his favorite uncle (like a father0 passed away which sent the minor melt down in to a catestrphic meld down over. ober about 3 motnhs he spiraled out of control and ultimatly got him self in to strife with the police. once that happened he pushed me away, he avoided me and bascially cut me off with out any reason.
    I perissted for 3 weeks after (when we did speak he’d tell me we were still together and that we’d be fine he just needed time and space to work out what was going on) so i tried to give himthat space but like most i wasnt very good at it. it reached boiling point for me when i lost a friend very suddenly and he’s responce was about himself. He didnt ask if i were ok or anything, he just basically ignored what was going on. so i texted him going off a himand called it quits.
    I had tried to speak to mutal friends of our about him and he’s situation, attampting to get some kind of answer and i may have said way to much. My b/f is fiercly private and ive given up quiet a bit of personal information that if i could take back i would. I realised that these “mutal” friends where not friends of mine and gave up everything i’d said and asked to my b/f.
    I have attempted N/C o few times now but as i said before im not very good at it.
    I do see him out socially as we still have some mutual friends and still frequent the same venues. the last time i saw him (last friday 30th sept 2016) i thought he was with another girl and publicly went ballistic, thus, embarrassing him and myself in the process. After messaging him to apolgise for my emotional outburst he responded with “how dare you speak to my friend like that and to f*** off; which he has never done or said to me before. So now more in a damage control sort of way i am adament of the n/c …
    i’ve limited all my audiences on social media (he hasnt de-friended me or blocked me…all he’s done is hide pictures of he and I from his time line although he is still tagged in them ???)
    Ive started a new job in the time we have been seperated and so as far as my social media portarys im living life great. I have every intention of avoiding the mutual venues although that will mean also avoiding friends. I have planned a weekend away for my self in a few weeks which is hopefully going to give me the clarity and time to breath i need….I about to strt a fitness group for a 10 week thing….
    ive never wanted children or to settle down (im 33 and he is 36; he has 2 teenage boys) but he was the one that made me consider it, he made me think that it may not be as bad as i think it will be, espessially when we had family time with his boys…
    i guess my question is; and you will probebly simply tell me what i already know but need validation too…
    is there anything else i can do (besides not going emotionally ballistic and unstable when and if i see him out) that i am not already doing.
    my n/c has only really been since Friday night/ saturday morning so not even a week. some days are ok (when i busy busy) but others are horrific, what can i do on those days that will help me through, bsides coming here and reading everything all over again….
    cheers and thanks
    Lisa (Australia)

    1. Lisa

      October 5, 2016 at 12:32 pm

      my apologies for the typos. I think quickly and its a little difficult to type and keep up with my thoughts…also if i’d typed slower i would probebly have deleted my comment/question as i have done so several times over the past few weeks and not submitted it.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 7, 2016 at 2:22 pm

      Hi Lisa,

      check this one for what to do during no contact:
      EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant
      and you have to be strong if ever you bump into him.. Remember, he thinks you’re crazy about him, so influence his thinking by handling every situation with in the most emotionally mature way you can.

    3. Lisa

      October 11, 2016 at 8:43 am

      thank you. It looks like i have to start the n/c over again though. I let emotion get the better of me and texted nhim telling him how much i miss him. having a “go to” distaction will be good for those moments where i feel that little bit weaker.
      cheers and thanks

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2016 at 4:52 pm

      You’re welcome! You can do it!

  22. Jill

    October 3, 2016 at 9:46 pm

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years ever since senior year of high school but recently we have been arguing a ton and his mom doesn’t like me anymore. His mom is recently divorced with a new boyfriend who I personally don’t like. They had a barbecue and her boyfriend got all weird with me so I told him to back the “f” off. She didn’t like that very much. So now his mom doesn’t like me. And that puts a strain on the relationship. The last time I talked to hmy ex was a week ago when we broke up. He told me he loved me, I was his best friend, and he told me he was depressed he lost his soul mate and all this other stuff. I don’t know why he did it!!! He told me at first he wanted to break up because we were not right for each other and then he said he needed space and only time will tell. I’m not talking to him since I am upset we had life plans together.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 6, 2016 at 9:10 am

      Hi Jill,

      I think it’s because he cant defend to his mom.. the only way it could work is either he talks to his mom or let her be in the meantime.. in your case, it would be better to focus in improving yourself during no contact

  23. alex

    September 28, 2016 at 2:31 am

    I have boyfriend for a year.
    Last night I was too annoyed with him because I felt that there’s something wrong with him, i can confirm it, below is our scenario last night but before that i want to share our status before. (a couple of months ago before when we are together his phone is always with me, but since we came back from our own different holiday everything change. )

    here’s our scenario last night

    -last night we went to park for a date, but before that we went in his house have some rest he didnt surrender his phone to me and he is busy using his phone likewise mine but he always asking me what’s my message all about (we have different nationality) while i notice in him that he always cover his phone in everytime he texted and he put password on his phone. then he left his phone charging,
    -we’re not friends on facebook and I caught him using facebook that he denied before that he is using it.
    – when we came back to his place he got his phone in his room run quickly outside of house and he talked with someone else inside car, (if he didnt hide anything, why he should do that?”
    -another scenario was were sitting in the sofa watching tv as our quality time i am using my phone for important matters because he’s watching tv, he hide his phone in his side which abnormal in him because he dont use to do that before, then he wants to have sex last night but i got annoyed so i refused him, then he said, Im going to drop you home, but i said, we can have quality time together without sex right? then he said, turn of the light, im going to sleep, you may leave and wait for your friend out of this house…

    i put my pride off and I said sorry for last night. what should i do? do i have to continue? should I go or stay?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 29, 2016 at 6:00 am

      Hi Alex,

      yeah it looks like he’s hiding something but why do you always have his phone? It looka like your relationship has trust issues

    2. alex

      September 29, 2016 at 9:39 pm

      Hi Amor,
      in everytime that we’re together he normally gave his phone to me because he wants me to feel that no destruction every quality time.. then last tuesday, it happened that he keeps his phone, with password and when he used to text someone else he covered his phone..
      what should i do?

    3. Alex

      September 29, 2016 at 10:42 pm

      Hi Amor,
      in everytime that we’re together he normally gave his phone to me because he wants me to feel that no destruction every quality time.. then last tuesday, it happened that he keeps his phone, with password and when he used to text someone else he covered his phone..
      what should i do?

      I love him so much, then I put a letter in his table i wrote all of the pain, im not sure if he reads it, but he dont response to my message when i texted him last night.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 1, 2016 at 1:06 pm

      Ok, then it’s better to start the no contact rule now.. If he’s hiding something or cheating with you, don’t attack him. Start no contact and just focus in improving yourself. I think you should do at least 30 days.

  24. Nina

    September 24, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    I had a “non-relationship” with a guy, for 9 months. Some weeks ago he told me we couldn’t go on like this, he said we had to decide whether have a relationship, or break up. I wanted the relationship but he wasn’t sure and wanted time to think, because he was hurt in the past, and was afraid of commitment. We argued a lot, because he wanted to meet up as if nothing happened, but I was hurt and couldn’t do it. But I couldn’t leave at all, because I love him, and I know he suffers from anxiety and takes antidepressants, so I decided to give him time. Somedays he would tell me he loved me and wanted to be with me, another day he would say that he wasn’t fair to me, and that it should end… But I told him that I would wait for him to decide.
    The problem came the other day, as he saw me at a bar with another guy (just talking). He was annoyed and told me he was totally sure he didn’t want anything with me. I got angry too, because I didn’t do anything with that guy, and I told him he was just playing with me. Then he got veeeery angry, and disappointed with me, because of the things I said to him…
    All my friends say he’s a jerk, and that I shouldn’t wait for him. But he’s the first guy I really love, and it is so difficult… I just wanted him to be happy and believe him when he said he loved me, but now I feel as if I ruined it all. I want him back, but as a real boyfriend, and happy with me. Is it even possible? Or should I move on? Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 25, 2016 at 8:57 am

      Hi Nina,

      you said you talked a few weeks ago and he opened being either really together or breaking up, what did you answer to that? Let him cool off for now. Since you already said you’re not with that guy, that’s enough. Let him cool off for a week or a little more and then talk again.

    2. Nina

      September 25, 2016 at 9:58 am

      I told him I wanted something more, a relationship, but he wasn’t sure about what he wanted. I don’t understand why did he bring out that if he didn’t know what he wanted… I understand that he has been alone for a long time, and hurt in the past, that’s why when we started seeing eachother, he told me he didn’t want a relationship. He says he has feelings for me, but that there are things about me, like my insecurity, that make him doubt about having a relationship.
      We haven’t spoken yet, and I am afraid that he might meet someone else when he goes out, or just see that he is better without me… Anyway, if he doesn’t say anything, I’ll wait at least a week to talk to him as you say.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 25, 2016 at 3:29 pm

      If it doesn’t work.. Try doing no contact and read this one: The Ungettable Girl

  25. Beka

    September 23, 2016 at 10:42 pm

    Hi, We’ve been together with my boyfriend for 10months. Most of the time we have been happy.. But there were moments when I’ve been upset not knowing where we are heading. Ive asked in the Past what his Internations is, what lerem we are headed.. He always stars silent.. Obcecasses if he santa to get mareies and have Kids one day he has said yes. When the right time comes. I have been getting really anxious, especially when we were on a trip in a romântic Island recently everything was fine, until one day I saw everyone around who were engaged and having romantic dinners, weddings, etc, and we were just having a normal dinner.. I shut down and was silent, he hates when I’m silent and when he asked I just said everything is fine. He got angry at me I could see, but then I talked and told him why I’m upset.. We made up. He said we would talk when we get back home from vacation. I said ok. We came back, I kept wondering when we talk, then came my birthday. On my birthday morning he woke up earlier, made coffee, gluten free muffin with decorated raspberries and whipped cream. I got super happy. Then there was a card, and a bag of gifts, a sweater and a bag with prints of 2 legs hanging on the sides- first I thought it was a hoodie but it was a bag not from Ralph Lauren but wrapped in Ralph Lauren box. I got super upset and showed it. I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated or something I don’t have ..like a heart shaped necklace or something. And the bag – I was really confused with. In the afternoon we both cried- he cried because I was not happy with gift, I cried because I was disappointed. We had some arguments, I asked why is he with me even when I’m so terrible mean and may be we should just stop it all .. At the end he said he loved me and he doesn’t wanna let me go.
    Again, after that he sent me a text that he is worried about us and how upset he is with the my birthday happening… and may be I’m right may be love is not all it takes, and may be we should it continue.. He asked we should talk.. I was first sad then got mad and told him if he wants to break he should do it now, I don’t wanna talk.. Will only talk if he wants to figure things out. I ended up breaking up with him over what’s app. Which I didn’t mean. I cried all night, so did he it sounded. The next morning I realized how much I love and care about him, and told I take it back and will do anything and we should work things out. He was still upset, wouldn’t kiss me, just hugs.
    We ended up taking a break, during that time his close friend got tumor, then a serious brain surgery…. I went to take couple of things from his apartment, then he started telling me he feels that it’s unfair I have to wait for him, and we have to take this break. He said he feels confused and at the moment it feels like not continuing is best. I tried to convince otherwise, that we should try and work on us, on communication and I will wait. He insisted, I agreed, then got mad, I told him he doesn’t love me then if he is not willing to try. I took all of my things away, he helped to get all my stuff in bags, I left. I said thank you over txt for not dragging. Wished him well. And told that I got the answer I’ve been asking for, not what I wanted but everything is clear now. I said good bye.
    I deleted him from FB and LinkedIn, I have him on what’s app still. It’s his birthday today. I was planning surprises, but not sure if I should text him or not now. I’m worried for him, and his friend. And what a terrible timing. I want him back. I feel like he hates me… What to do? Advise? ;(

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 24, 2016 at 4:33 pm

      Hi Beka,

      I think it’s too early to ask for marriage. You’re just 10 months in. And also, and with the gift.. I understand you were expecting more but for him it felt like you didn’t appreciate his efforts.

      I’m not sure but it looks like you have this conditions on how you would guage if he loves you and expectations from him and he keeps disappointing you but in his mind, he probably thinks you’re being demanding. But I think you’re just not communicating what you really want in the right way.Just talk to him heart to heart. He can’t read your mind so, he won’t know how to make you feel loved or special.

      I think you should talk first but if he’s not willing, then understand him and start no contact so, you can both heal first before rebuilding rapport

      Right now,

  26. Lou

    September 12, 2016 at 10:29 pm

    Hi! So, this is my second time here on Ex Boyfriend recovery and the first time I had a really great plan to get my ex back. So, the thing now is that me and him had a massive fight because I talked sh*t about him with a common friend when I was really angry and upset, and when he got to know that (I guess the other guy was not a real friend hah) he broke up with me and told me he would have never forgiven me (he eventually told me about a lot of old fights too, and I said sorry for them too). So I begged for him to come back to me, said sorry and everything and I got blocked on IM services (but I haven’t been blocked on Facebook and Instagram, where he just unfollowed me) since I became a text gnat. The last messages I wrote (with no answer) are about me saying sorry and hoping for him to talk to me when he felt to. He saw them, but I got ignored.
    Is it too late? What should I do now?? I desperately need your help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 14, 2016 at 3:12 pm

      Hi Lou,

      you said you have a plan, what is it?

    2. Lou

      September 14, 2016 at 11:32 pm

      Hi Amor, thank you so much for your reply!
      So, at first I engaged in nc rule and he came back to me, not properly begging but he did wanted me. But now things have got a little bit different, he broke up with me because of me “ruining his name” and so on,he didn’t expect me to do it and he feels betrayed (even though he is capable of being so mean when we fight,that’s why I got very angry and decided to make the Big Big Mistake). Even though I promised that I’ve changed and that it won’t happen again, it seems like he doesn’t listen to me. The last time we spoke I promised not to contact him ever again so that I could let him think about all the situation (and he said the usual mean stuff he normally says, that he doesn’t want to see me/hear from me/stuff but replied with an ‘ok’ when I asked him to do so). What should I do now?
      I already feel sad and overwhelmed, I don’t know what to do. 🙁
      ps: he keeps blocking and unblocking me on SM at eveey conversation we have! At least today he unblocked me on Telegram, where we spoke the last time 🙁

    3. Lou

      September 16, 2016 at 1:04 am

      edit: blocked from Telegram and Instagram again for adding something to what I said before. Grew tired of him and sent him a text message letting him guess that he truly let me down and I don’t accept being treated like that and that he won’t hear from me ever again ’till he’s going to make the next move. He called me, I declined the call, he texted me telling I ruined his evening and that he doesn’t want to hear from me. I didn’t answer and then after a while he came with another message telling me to disappear, even tho I didn’t answer.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 18, 2016 at 9:42 am

      Ok, stick to no contact now

  27. rose

    September 1, 2016 at 11:52 am


    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 1, 2016 at 2:57 pm


  28. shybeing9673

    July 23, 2016 at 9:03 am

    hi my boyfriend walked into my life and started loving me like crazy and when he came to know about my past he doesnt want to be with me anymore how do i change that? he is too angry to believe or understand anything at all. he thinks m the same person in my past but i am clearly not, i need serious help

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 23, 2016 at 2:09 pm

      Hi shybeing9673,

      how long have you been together?

  29. Chami

    July 21, 2016 at 7:11 pm

    Hi im 24 years and my boyfriend also same age as me..we are dated for six 6 years ..our parents also happy about us.he even had plans with me about our marrage..but recently he had some matters with his career and i think it affected him so badly.so he lost his job and waiting at home until finds another one.i try to comfort him and he also spent lot of his time with me..once he said he cant live without me.he wants to spend evry day of his life with me.he saud we both can have achieve eerything in our life…
    i dont know y but now a days he seems very different .. before he wants me a lot but not now.before he hated facebook but now he looks like addicted to it ..he has 1000 friends in his list but not me.he refused to add me ..he doesn’t want to show me..once i asked him this and he said i dont want to post our photos to d world. we r not married yet.i’ll think it later .Can you believe ?? He said he nevr let any man to have me..but now he reconsider about my marrage..when we started our love before six years he posted our fisrt date pictures in fb …but now he try to hides me..but i always posted our pics in my wall ..may be that’s y he doesn’t want me in his list now …
    He has some chats with nice girls but when i asked this he said i didnt addict to fb i just go and posted things,just to spending time and thats all when i asked about that girls he told me its just hi chats y you suspect me..everytime i begged him to take me to the list but he lied to me..or ignored.i can clearly see there is something more.i think he have strong relationships with those fb pretty girls.i can see it from their posts, comments..otherwise he always with me, say everything to me .now he acts werid. allways in fb ..He enjoyed life without me …when we argued ,these day he never called back .he can spent so many nights without me..he doesn’t want me like before.when im crying he laughed and say oh cry girl..ok fine cry then i have my works to do.or most of time he switced off d phone…
    Belive me that is not him …a guy asked me for out one day.i told this but he didint respond ..he told me dont talk to him thats all.but before he got very angry and jelous if a guy even saty next to me..he always suspect me.but now i think bcz of my needy way he knows that i cant live without him even how much i try to pretend strong ..he know my weakness is him..he doesn’t feel pity for me he enjoyed my madness.this hurts me a lot.he doesn’t care about me now..

    next week is my convocation when i asked him to come (i told him about convocation during the argument )he said to me that he have to go for a new job today so he cant come.but its a lie his mom told me he passed d interview but not yet gone for a work.believe me he never lied to me before.he always said we must act honest no lies between us.. even not for joke.but now he say lies to me every time..so we had some arguments about this . he said im over thinker and misunderstanding him so he hates me lot..then i apologize him i asked him that i can forgot all things lets start over again…but he blamed me ..no response for it..
    Then i asked
    r u all mine.I love u so much..no one can take you away from me ,U r mine right?? .. he didint reply soon he just said “mmm ” that’s all..after the argument he didnt answer my calls he said so many bad things to me.he said he hates me dont want to talk to me .we said pretty bad things to each other mostly he did ..

    so now im applying no contact from today .i dont know what will happen .may be he will get close to those fb girls ..may be i’ll lost him or he ‘ll miss me.once he told a girl like me he never can find. He told me he is so lucky to have my love.he said i told to my friends im the luckiest guy in the world to have a girl like me. So may be oneday he reminds that love… one day he’ll miss me…

    but next week do i have to invite him for the convocation again or just ignored him ..If it hurts him if i ignored him like that.. its good if he can come bcz i have my mother only..so he can fill the gap of my father in there.
    But when i call to invite him it’ll break the no contact .what can i do for it…
    Do you think he’ll miss me..i hope this will…

    1. Chami

      July 22, 2016 at 6:30 am

      My convocation is on 3rd aug..it means after 13 days of no contact…when do i hv to call for the invitation ?..once i did this no contact just for three days and when i called him back he seems very angry he says now u call me? Y now… just stay like what you were before.dont talk to me.. what will happen if this become as his reply for the convocation invitation … i really wants him there ..
      need a suggestion to make him want to attend to the convocation ..

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 22, 2016 at 5:17 pm

      hi Chami,

      if you really want the no contact to have a higher chance of helping you, don’t just stop talking to him.. mature and learn to have your own life.. treat this as a start to a new lifestyle…so after nc, you still need to continue those activities..

      if you really want him to change, the change must start with you.. be independent..

      so that starts with not inviting him convocation

  30. Ify

    July 17, 2016 at 9:09 pm

    My ex boyfriend and i dated officially for three months though we were together for 12 months and prior to that we were best friends recently fight and i told him we should take a break for a while. After sometime I contacted him we were fine at first only for me for me to realize he when I said we take a break he thought i meant we should break up. I tried to explain it to him but he wouldn’t listen. I asked if we should leave it that way since he thought we were over and he said yes. It’s barely been a week since then and he keeps flirting openly on social media and tags different girls to his instagram pictures. He even goes on Twitter to talk about how he wants a girlfriend. Is he trying to make me jealous or has he moved on? will the nc make him come back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2016 at 4:03 pm

      Hi Ify,
      we can’t guarantee that nc will get him back but it will help increase your chances.. and yes, it looks like he’s doing it to make you jealous

    2. Ify

      July 22, 2016 at 7:48 pm

      He texted me yesterday saying “Hey sexy” I ignored because of no contact (which was surprisingly easy for me) he then unfollowed me on Twitter. Though I find that amusing, does that mean he’s moving on or just acting up

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 23, 2016 at 9:48 am

      nope he probably did that to counter you ignoring him

  31. jane

    June 27, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    Hi, me and my bf dated for a little over a year and things have been really good. But we got into this huge fight over him and his friends. I never said it was a problem that he was going to hang out with them later on in the day after we went on our date. but he asked if I was okay, I said yes. cause I was trying to drop it and avoid a fight which is usually what he asks me to do. But on our way to our date he ignored me and refused to talk to me. When we finally arrived he still stayed silent and I didn’t say anything either . We were shopping and he was just following me around while being on his phone, so I asked if there was a problem and he said no. So eventually I grew tired of his attitude and asked if we could leave the mall, he was like okay. We got to the car and I finally told him what bothered me and that i was hurt that he didn’t tell me his plans and that bc he was ignoring me in the mall it felt like he didn’t want to spend time with me. He started yelling at me saying he obviously did bc he drove all the way to my house just to see me and then he got really mad and just stayed quiet and when I tried to touch his arm and talk to him he told me not to touch him so I stopped. We finally get back to my house and he stayed quiet and told me to leave and I asked him why he can’t just talk to me and fix our problems it’s a small issue that we can quickly resolve. then he got really angry and started yelling in my face telling me to leave his car and that I’m not making him happy at the moment cause I’m being annoying. Then he said leave my car in 5 seconds or I’m leaving you. I got scared so I left and went into my house. I didn’t contact him, but then he texted me an hour later saying he was done, and breaking up with me and that he is sorry for how things ended. and I still haven’t talked to him… I don’t know what to do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2016 at 6:06 am

      Hi Jane,

      Let him cool off for now.. don’t contact him.. he probably expects you to do that..

    2. Jane

      July 4, 2016 at 10:30 am

      It’s been a week and i thought by now he would’ve reached out to me, but he hasn’t he’s just been with his friends everyday he can. It sucks because he’s acting as though the past year meant nothing to him when I know that it did.

  32. Puja

    June 26, 2016 at 6:30 am

    Hello, I am in a relationship more than 2 years. last 1 yr we have fighting too much. We fighted regarding a very small reason. Then he stopped talking, but again and again i called him and tried to realize him that its his fault. Then he told me that why i am calling him and disturbing him. After that i told that if he doesn’t want to talk to me i will not contact. Since then he didnt contact me, its almost 2 weeks. Please suggest

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 28, 2016 at 12:24 pm

      Hi PUja,

      have you started active no contact?

  33. saloni

    June 10, 2016 at 11:06 am


    I am having 2 year relationship with last one year long distance relationship. Whenever we fight my boyfriend said he will leave me and then again we back together .and always most of the time I am the one end up with sorry even it’s not my fault. He always have some weird topics to fight. Iast night we had a bad fight and I am the person who is not giving up easily . but I stop talk to him . then morning he tried to call so many time I didn’t answer his call . finally when I pick up his call he again continue with fight topic and end up with very bad fight . when he start abuse I cut the call . should I call him or text first ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 16, 2016 at 7:17 am

      Hi Saloni,

      nope you should start being in active no contact

  34. Abigail

    June 3, 2016 at 2:27 am

    Hi, there is this guy that asked me out, I said yes because I have liked him for a while. We went to a dance together too. His ex was standing there when I was by him, and even dragged him away. Her friends kept pressuring me about it and I felt trapped. So I asked if we could take a break because I don’t like having pressure put on me. But it comes to this day that my friend was friends with him, he started dating another girl for a couple of days, his EX told my friend but when my friend tries defend herself he doesn’t believe her, him and his ex are pretty good friends. His ex started lying that she didn’t tell anybody (she wasn’t supposed to). I had to defend my friend because she is one of my best friends. I was hoping he and I could get back together before though. I ended up feeling terrible about texting him about his business that I shouldn’t of been in. So I apologized. Was it right? 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 12, 2016 at 9:51 am

      Hi Abigail,

      sorry I don’t understand what you’re defended herself from? did she defend herself because you confronted your ex about it and he got angry at her? and how are you now?

  35. simran

    March 24, 2016 at 10:03 am

    hey chris, m an indian..n 18 yr old..i met him a year ago..all wz fy9 n gud btw us..as v grew up together during the most moody and challenging period as v were in grade 11 when v started dating and nw its tym me to leave the place as my high school is almost ovr .. jst waiting fr the results,.. the prob is… ever since he came to know that m leaving this place .. he has bcm a crack head its been 2 months that he knws this fact about my departure.. n gets irritated on me ..after every disagreement i make wth him.. the situation has bcm so worse that after evry 5 days of anormal relation there is a huge fight …then v both swear that v wont tlk to eacch odr fr a couple of days.. thankfully v make up the nxt day…its jst a matter of a phn cl… nw its only 10 days left fr me .. to shift to another place i guess wht v hd a huge fght… the reason is so confusing that there is no perfect reason fr our fght.. it started as i disagreed ovr one of his plans..and i dnt knw in wht mood he wz in.. he took it personally.. n said i alwz had sm prob wth him n my action r totally opposite to his expectation..n then he started to drag in the past issues of me tlking to 10 guys.. he ethink i still flirt wth them..bt thats nt true.. they r my childhood frndz i cnt simply leave them only cz i hv a over protective n over possessive boy friend.. nw both of us r hesitating tlking to each odr..n yes i wonna thank u fr gving me d amazing concept of NCR.. i tried it n succeed in it.. as i had to use it once…nw my que is..as m gng nw.. every1 is planning to b wth me nw..shld i still apply NCR…n 2nd que afte reading all the stuff above do u think i shld go fr an LDR if evrythng bcms normal soon… lyk he still cls me… its jst he needs smtym to think… i dnt knw wht.. he says he loves me ..wonna b wth me.. bt after this fght he needs tym to pause n think..cn u also help me as to wht i shld do nw..n mayb cn u tell me wht a guy really means as he says he wnts to b alone..wht the hell on this earth is he thinking about when its almost tym me to leave… plz help..its killing me..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 1, 2016 at 5:11 pm

      Hi Simran,
      sorry for the late reply.. have you talked?

  36. Shruti

    March 19, 2016 at 10:20 am

    Hi Chris. Me and my boyfriend are from India. Currently he is staying at Netherlands for 3 months now. We are in a relationship for 5 years. Before 10 days I got into a fight with him as we were not talking for 5 days because he was with his friends. That was okay fir me but that day too..he said that we can’t talk tonight. Somehow I got mad and yelled at him and said that he only thinks about his own reputation and tries to create a good image of himself in front of everyone..he barely thinks about me and all. He just seen those texts and said that he is no more interested in talking with me. He asked me not to ping or call him “until” he calls or ping me. After that I sent him a “miss you” text..and called him once. I didn’t nag him or anything. But he ignored my text and call. I don’t know if he is just giving me silent treatment or it’s his cowardly way to say it’s over? Here I can tell you that it’s not the first time he’s giving me silent treatment. He has broken up with me once using this treatment. After that he has used this treatment several times to punish me. I don’t know what’s going on..I just need to know the truth. But at the same time I don’t want to beg him for talking. Please help…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 20, 2016 at 4:36 am

      Hi Shruti,

      for me you should talk to him about it because it’s not good to do that to somebody.. He’s like passive aggressive.. but of course since he’s not replying you won’t be able to do that..
      If I were you, I would do contact and of he doesn’t reach out during that time, break up with him.. You deserve someone who will appreciate and make time for you

  37. Emily

    February 9, 2016 at 1:02 am

    Hello. My long distance ex and I completed our 1 month of no contact and he reached out to me missing me and saying how much he loves me and wanted to marry me. He didn’t treat me so good in the end and apologized for that. I noticed he flirts with other girls and asked him about it then got defensive and turned into a huge jerk about it. We are now not speaking again. He made it all seem like my fault. I’m assuming no contact is the best thing I could do at this point?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2016 at 11:30 am

      Yeah, but the more you do it the less it’s effect.,If it’s just the second time, it’s okay. That’s just a reminder to keep in mind

  38. Leigh

    January 20, 2016 at 10:29 am

    I believe my long distance ex and I broke up over a fight, but I’m not sure. I say believe because he broke up with me simply by stopping contact with me. He never even explained why he wanted to break up. But one night over Skype we had a huge fight over the topic of human evolution and the origin of the human species. He doesn’t believe much in evolution and I, having spent many years learning about the topic know it’s not a “theory” but a proven process. He got mad when I said that the human species originated in Africa and it escalated in to a huge fight I know it left a sour taste in both of our mouths, but for me it was just a fight. Well a few days later he stopped contacting me. Coincidence? I think not. I later found out that he also at that time signed up to an online dating web site. So we had a fight and 2 days later he starts online dating and a couple of days after that he stopped contacting me. I was still upset about our fight and I have a lot of pride so I didn’t contact him either. But I was still hoping we weren’t breaking up and that he was just taking a break to cool off. So after 2 weeks of silence he contacts me and is clearly pissed off that I haven’t been in touch with him! We exchanged a few friendly messages, but then again he stopped contact. So I went in to NO CONTACT for FIVE WEEKS. He still didn’t contact me. I finally sent him a short but friendly message this week and he was super cold with me. I finally wrote “We’ll talk another time when you’re in a more chatty mood 😉 ” He answered “Yea, I guess so.” So here I have done everything right, and I am astounded that he wasn’t happier to hear from me after 5 weeks of no contact. I don’t understand. I never wronged him in any way. Do you think he’s mad that I didn’t contact him for 5 weeks? I have a feeling he’s met someone….could this be why he was so unfriendly? But why be unfriendly to your ex if they haven’t hurt you? And finally – is there any hope of getting him back in this situation, given that he’s being cold and is now probably seeing someone? Would be grateful for a reply. Thank-you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2016 at 8:42 am

      Hi Leigh,

      I have a tip for you. If you try again, avoid using the same kind of messages like the last message you sent because the last message kind of indicated you’re giving him the power on when to talk to you. If you really want to get his attention back, focus on interesting topics, you broke up over a very interesting one. Why not get his honest opinion on a topic you know he can’t resist to answer. But avoid arguing okay? Take that opportunity to build rapport with him again.

  39. reet

    October 28, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    my boyfriend leave me.help me please