By Chris Seiter

Updated on February 27th, 2021

Getting your ex boyfriend back after a fight isn’t as impossible a task as people make it out to be. Now, I don’t want to mislead you here. It is going to take hard work, good timing and the right strategy to position yourself in a place where you have a chance of winning your ex boyfriends back. Luckily, I put this page together for you to break down the overall strategy that you should use if you had a big blowout with your ex. I also feel it is important to point out that no matter what anyone says there are no guarantees when it comes to this kind of stuff. Anyone who says they can promise you that they can get your ex back 100% of the time is a scam artist and I would say you are better off moving on then listening to their advice.

Speaking of advice, everything I talk about on this page, every strategy, tactic and idea I have derived from the foremost experts in the relationship world, stories I have found online and my own personal experience. So, you can rest easy knowing that I am being up front and honest with you. I know this may sound a little goofy but I honestly want to become the number one authority in the world on helping women get back with their boyfriends (if they choose to.) I work on this site every day and will respond to every single comment so feel free to ask a question if you have one.

What This Page Is About

Well, in a nutshell it is about fighting. Using this page it is my goal to help you understand what you need to do to get your boyfriend back after a monster fight. I am going to be talking about the following things.

  • What causes couples to fight the most.
  • How to approach a fight (there is a good way and a bad way to fight.)
  • What to do after the fight (and breakup) to get your ex back.

Now, before I move on to the next section on this page I do want to point out that this page WILL NOT tell you everything you need to know about getting an ex boyfriend back. I know, I know but don’t fret I have a couple of solutions for you. Yes, this page is an epic page. However, that’s all it is, just a page on this site. If you want more in-depth instructions on what you need to do to get your boyfriend back I recommend reading ALL the pages of this site (there is something to be gained from all of them.)

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Fighting… Good Or Bad For Ex Recovery?

fight club

This page is focusing specifically on women (who broke up/have been broken up) with their boyfriends because of a big fight. Nothing can get your emotions out of whack like a good ole fight can. All of a sudden you become angry, frustrated and say some very hurtful things to someone you really care deeply about. This brings up a few interesting questions. What do couples fight about the most? Is fighting normal? Do you even have a chance of getting back with your ex?

Hmm… lets take things one question at a time.

What Do Couples Fight About The Most?

I am going to go ahead and raise my hand here and say that I have fought about some pretty silly things with my exes before. I am sure most people can relate on some level. However, I naturally go curious and decided to look up what the average couple will fight about. Here is what I found:

  • Free Time- Girls tend to want their boyfriends to spend more time with them. Guys don’t want to be with their girlfriends, they want to be with their friends and have a guys night out.
  • Money- This is for our our more mature couples out there that live together. The boyfriend will usually complain that the girl spends too much while the girl will complain that the boyfriend doesn’t spend enough. No joke!
  • Politics- This is for a select group of couples who have two differing political parties. Democrat girl, republican guy. Independent girl, republican guy. You get the idea.
  • Sex- What a racy topic huh? Haha, no couples fight about whether to have sex before marriage or after. Sometimes a guy will want to do something a girl will not. Of course, sometimes a girl will want to do something a guy will not.
  • Jealousy- Ahh… the most famous relationship killer. Guys can get jealous of girls just as much as girls can get jealous of guys. Either way, a lot of fights are caused because jealousy plays a central role.

Is Fighting Normal?couple fight

Fighting is absolutely normal duhh. Can you imagine how boring the world would be if everyone agreed about everything and there were no arguments? This may be a little controversial but I say, embrace the conflict. As long as you fight in a healthy way (where you don’t horribly demean the other person) you can actually have a healthy discussion that strengthens the relationship. What is an example of a healthy “fight?”

  • Make sure you address the issue. So many couples choose to call each other hurtful names rather than work together to communicate their real issues.
  • Yelling is a bad thing. There is no need to yell. Just talk softly. Sure, you may be so angry that you could punch a hole in the wall but there is no need to yell about it. Talk softly and slowly so you can calmly address the issue.
  • Be as specific as possible when addressing an issue or if ask for specifics if you are unsure. Specifics are good!
  • Eventually you are going to have to cooperate with this person to fix whatever problem you may be fighting about it. Make sure you resolve the problem.

Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a couple that fights in the “preferred” way. Most fights end up being nothing but who can call who the worse name or who can hurt each other the most. Ironically, that leads us to our next question.

Do You Have A Chance Of Getting Your Ex Back After A Fight?

I am going to be honest with you here. If I were to help someone get their ex boyfriend back the ideal “student” would be someone who broke up with their ex boyfriend because of a big fight. So, yes you have a pretty darn good shot at getting your ex back if you broke up directly because of a fight .

One of the first pages I wrote when I created this site was having a legitimate reason for getting back together. On that page I basically state the importance of having a real reason for getting back with your ex. In my opinion a good legitimate reason for getting back together with your ex is if you were broken up because of a fight. Don’t you owe it to yourself to give the relationship a try, enduring the fights in a healthy way?

No Contact Is A MUST

no eye contact

If you aren’t familiar with the infamous no contact rule then I suggest you get familiar with it.

(I talk about it in depth in my system.)

In short, the no contact rule is something you implement immediately after a breakup. You can’t call, text, email or facebook your ex at all. To take things a step further, you can’t even respond if your ex contacts you. I know this may seem a little harsh but trust me when I say it is vital for your particular situation. Lets take a moment to break down why the no contact rule will work especially well in your case.

You had a big fight with your ex boyfriend that ultimately ended in a breakup. Things were said on both sides, hurtful things. Emotions are running high and your first instinct is to call up your ex boyfriend and apologize hoping that you can somehow save the relationship. Maybe you already tried this tactic but had no success at all.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

The reason this doesn’t work (most of the time) is that your boyfriend is expecting you to do this. As sick as I think it is, there is a part of all men (myself included) that enjoys being “in control” of things. Every time a girl calls us up and asks to hang out or to patch things up we immediately pull the “oh yea, I definitely got her!”

It’s human nature to shun what we have and to want what we don’t have.

This is why the no contact rule works so well. By successfully implementing it you go from being the girl that he had to the girl that he can’t have and that makes you so much more attractive in his eyes. Let me put it to you this way, have you ever liked someone so much that you texted but they never texted back? You spent all day double checking your phone wondering why they haven’t texted back? Surely there must be something wrong with them so you logged on to their Facebook account only to see that they have been posting updates all day long. Sure, you are angry but the next day you always text them back hoping you still have a shot.

Sound familiar?

Now, can you imagine having your ex boyfriend doing that type of stuff over you? That is exactly what the no contact rule, if implemented correctly, will do for you. It turns the tables and gives you the power in the relationship. Now, there is actually quite a bit more to the no contact rule than just cutting yourself off from your ex (like what you are supposed to do during it and how long you have to implement it for) but I don’t want you to worry about it because I created a very long and in-depth guide detailing everything you could possibly want to know about the no contact rule here.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Ok, But How Do You Get Them Back?

im back

If you are able to successfully make it through the No Contact period one of three things is going to happen.

  1. Your ex will have contacted you asking to see you.
  2. Your ex will have contacted you asking how you are or asking some other general question.
  3. Your ex will have not contacted you at all.

I am going to use this section to advise you on how to approach all of the situations above.

Your Ex Contacts You Asking To See You

Obviously, this is the most positive outcome of the no contact period. While I will admit it is the best thing that can happen it is also very very rare. The goal of this page is to help you get your ex back but I need you to understand that even though your boyfriend contacting you like this is really good you can’t get too overconfident. You have to make sure every step you take is on your terms and not his. Remember, you have to be the “unattainable” and there is nothing unattainable about running back to his arms the first time he shows you a little attention. My advice is to follow the strategies laid out here. Know, that you have him hooked but in order to reel him in you are going to have to doing everything just right.

Your Ex Just Generally Contacts You

This is another really good outcome. The most common one actually. It isn’t as good as (option one) above but the fact that he contacted you means you are on his mind, a lot. Take solace in the fact that he is thinking about you and there are clearly some unresolved feelings from his side. The question now becomes how do you proceed? Well, your best play is to take things really slowly and make sure you check out my step by step guide on how to get him back here. The whole thing is my masterpiece. No joke, I spent a month writing it and it is by far the most popular page on this website. It will take you through every step of the process. Yup, every single step!

You Ex Doesn’t Contact You At All

Oh my gosh, the world is ending…. sike! I can’t tell you how many questions I get from women whose exes didn’t contact them during the no contact period and seem to think they have no chance winning him back. The truth of the matter is that it isn’t an ideal situation but your chances are hardly over. Again, I want you to reference my how to get your ex back guide. There you will find an exact step by step guide on what to do.

What to Read Next

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

310 thoughts on “Get Your Boyfriend Back After A Fight”

  1. Kim rose

    August 30, 2021 at 11:11 am

    Few days B4 I broke up with my ex….we had little argument whereby he ended up d call on me, and since den he has been posting stuff on his watsapp status abt a particular girl which he has done lot of things for….. going through his status I found out day I was d girl, he insulted me included my dad in not been able to do wat he did for me which was painful and because of dat I got angry…..and told my best friend all about it,she helped me send a voice note to him which brought him to my dm….and after day we started saying things we were not supposed to say which was a little bit serious and it ended in break up so since den he hasn’t come to my dm to say anything…..I love him, and would really love to go back to him but I don’t know if he feels d same way

  2. Kim rose

    August 30, 2021 at 11:05 am

    my ex is kinda the hard type….. I’m always thinking he has a soft spot for me, and I broke up with him due to a big fight….and for like weeks he hasn’t tried to contact me or so…

  3. Marie

    August 19, 2021 at 6:38 am

    We broke up after a huge fight over one of his behaviours I set a boundary with.

    After 3 days I went no contact and I have seen online that he has stopped the behaviour. Is this a sign he is regretting his actions if hes stopped the behaviour I was upset about? I am on day 7 of no contact and wondering if this is a sign that no contact is working

  4. Susan

    April 10, 2021 at 7:44 am

    I will I make it back with my ex ,what are the steps to take and how can you help me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 10, 2021 at 5:12 pm

      Hi Susan. if you want to follow the program then you are going to have to read the articles to understand what steps you need to take.

  5. Alicia

    February 7, 2021 at 6:18 am

    We have broken up twice. Both times, he came to me after a week of almost no talking. This is the third time we’ve broken up now and he said he just couldn’t take the fighting–that it took a toll on him. I thought it was just stuff that were were going to work through and he didn’t communicate that he was at the end of his rope until it was literally too late. We also spent a lot of time together and while he wanted me there, he also wanted a lot of alone time. I suggested I stay at my place but he took that as me pulling away. He said that our expectations were different and that he just can’t anymore:(. A day after I texted with questions on if we could talk but he wasn’t down. I tried again two days after and he answered some questions but ended up getting mad. Now I have started no contact but I’m afraid he’s just too done to even want to try back up again in a month 🙁

  6. Lisa B

    January 21, 2021 at 1:28 pm

    Hi there,

    My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. I had brought up the fact he hadn’t invited me to something – an issue which has cropped up a few times. I got upset and went into a bit of a rant as I started talking (had been drinking). He then told me he had been unsure about our relationship and whether it could grow and we broke up. I haven’t contacted him or heard from him the past week but really want to reach out to discuss things over. Do you think it is possible to do this and then implement the no contact rule?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 3, 2021 at 9:54 pm

      Hi Lisa, no you should go into a NC straight away. Discussing things first isn’t going to help your situation if he has already ended things with you

  7. Tarot Love Life

    October 29, 2020 at 5:34 pm

    This was an excellent article and great advice for the newly broken ups! It’s always a sad time when a breakup occurs but these tips definitely are a help! Thank you so much for the valuable article!

  8. Temitope Elizabeth

    August 16, 2020 at 6:50 am

    Hi am Temmy
    I & my bf have been dating 2yrs now, he has been cheating on me a lot with different girls and each time I find out he always have something to say, just yesterday we had some misunderstanding that led to fight even his friends had to come and hold him, He said something about when I visited a guy 1month after the relationship started this guy I visited was just a friend that offended me and I went to trash thing out with himthough I lied to him that I was going to see a female friend, but unfortunately for me the guy wanted to rape me and when I got bck I told my bf everything that happened and that was 1yr Ago …just yesterday I was with my bf in his room when he started saying i was a lier that I went to visit a guy and I responded this has happened a long time ago then I started telling him about all the girls he has cheated with and it let to a fight and he broke up with me then sent me away from his house
    I am so tired right now what should I do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 17, 2020 at 11:21 pm

      Hi Temmy, read and follow the program to help you, you will see great changes for yourself if you follow the Holy Trinity and being Ungettable

  9. Aime

    June 30, 2020 at 12:08 am

    My boyfriend of a year, we had this fight in march where he expressed that he wasn’t feeling sure about continuing our relationship because I became boring (he didnt say that exactly but thats what he ment), and I admit that, we used to hang out a lot, go to parties and the theater, and travel!, by march he had already been acting distant for about a month.
    I personally admit that i am not that outgoing because I got myself a very demanding job that made me miserable and it reflected. I quitted that job.
    we made up the next day because I said you are right, i have not been myself these months because of the stress that job was putting on me and on him (he also had a very stressing job). but that we loved each other and could overcome that rut by going on dates and doing more exciting activities.
    Shortly after we all have to be quarantined, so we could not go outside and do anything of what we said we’d do!!
    almost three months went by with us quarantined (in separate houses) where we only saw each other for netflix and chill and maybe a trip to the beach. everything was fine up until last week, where he said again that he was not eager to continue with me.
    i got angry and told him that we could not do anything because of quarantine and that he was not all that fun either. i told him that if he did not want to see me or hang out with me, to not do it. then left angry and did not speak to him in 5 days. He made zero effort in contacting me during this time. i reached out yesterday to talk, and told him that i did not want to be with someone who thinks im boring and that makes zero effort in making things better. so we broke up.
    today was supposed to be our first anniversary and had to cancel everything I had planned for us.

    should I reach out to him and try to appeal to his emotions to get him back? or how do i get him back?? i think he is a wonderful person who i truly see myself growing older with. should I give him time? should I act like i dont care?
    please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 26, 2020 at 9:26 am

      Hi Aime, no do not reach out in hope to talk about emotions the conversation will not go the way you want it to! If you want to get him back then start following the program, starting with NC and preparing yourself for the texting phase

  10. Rohit Sirsat

    May 23, 2020 at 12:43 am

    Actually me and my girl friend had a fight four days before . We were in relation from last three months . I do feel very happy when ever we hang out . But now she said break up toe and she spoke very harsh on me like yy are u spoiling my life , plz leave me so n so …she blocked me from evey contact . But she didn’t delete my sister’s contact . I requested her pleaded her for atleast three days now but she is not at all at agreeable terms as of now . Do I have any chances of getting her back again in my life . Once I posted something in the group in which we both are common , so she laughed for a joke .. iam really unable to get all these instances and what are the chances of getting her back again in my life

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 29, 2020 at 3:59 pm

      Hi Rohit, I would suggest that you spend some time in No Contact giving her some space. Following the program and working on yourself is essential part of getting someone back. You need to give them a chance to miss you

  11. Vincent

    May 16, 2020 at 12:28 pm

    We had a fight and i ended up saying bad things to her now she has blocked me evrywhere but shes talking to my family and shes even posting things abwt moving on and dating someone else i dont know what to do to get her back

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 17, 2020 at 8:20 pm

      Hey Vincent so you would have to complete a 30 day NC and then attempt to reach out on a different platform when she is less upset and angry

  12. Andrea

    April 30, 2020 at 6:58 pm

    We haven’t been dating for long, but I felt like we had an incredible connection. Everytime we fought( twice before) he would text me and text me nonstop… not saying nice things but texting me and looking for reassurance. He would be rude to me but at the same time he would be like talk to me. Let’s work this out. Now it’s different because it was me who started the argument, but he did not seem to care. He disappeared and barely texted me for the weekend and I understand he was with his son, but usually he texts me during the day. I told him I was done, and afterward I tried to explain how I felt.
    I told him the reasons why I wanted to be with him and at the same time what I did not like. He stopped texting me. After me attempting again to work things out I asked me what was his position in the relationship and he simply said: I don’t know what to tell you. I did like you.
    Now, I stopped sending him paragraphs .. and kinda just ignore him but the texts I receive from him are just “want to fuck your tonight” “you know you miss me eating you out” nothing but sexual. I only replied to one message saying that when a relationship is broken we could not have sex , but we could walk, talk whatever else .. still I just get messages just t have sex.
    I know he is a good person and I knew that sweet kind side of him… but now Im confused. I want him back but I want him to be able to accept mistakes I have tried to reach his sweet side but I only get ignore. What do I do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 2, 2020 at 2:31 pm

      Hi Andrea, you need to follow a No Contact first and then reach out using a text that Chris suggests after. It is good that you are ignoring the messages where he reaches out for a sexual conversation where you can end up in friends with benefits situation

  13. Sruti

    April 6, 2020 at 9:01 am

    Hi. We broke up 4months ago. Though I love him so much. Without him I used to feel like lost. Till today it is not very much clear for me what is the reason or what are the reasons. All I HV understood that he didn’t like me anymore, for him I am not ambitious,I used to beg for his time, he is everything for me that he didn’t support or like, I used to argue and fight a lot becoz we were in a LDR for almost 5yrs .he hardly give me time . Doesn’t care for me . But still I love him as he is and I want to be with him. Is there any chance

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 6, 2020 at 11:31 pm

      Hi Sruti if you stick with the program you are going to give yourself your best chance, you do need to read about long distance so that you understand what you need to be doing right now. Also read about being ungettable

  14. Sophie

    April 1, 2020 at 11:00 am


    Myself and my ex boyfriend broke up because he was messaging his ex girlfriend behind my back and I caught him out by seeing his ex girlfriend pop up on his phone one evening we were together. He said they just really wanted to be friends. However, he wouldn’t show me any of the text messages they were sending each other. To me this showed a guilty conscience. The day after we just had a huge argument over the phone and he said ‘there is no point trying to make this work because you dont trust me.’ This broke my heart because he wasnt willing to fight for us. I noticed a couple of days later he was straight back on Tinder. I thought he would get back with his ex girlfriend but apparently not?. This really baffled me. We have got through the no contact period and it’s been 8 weeks now. I still haven’t heard anything from him. I thought I would have recieved a message saying sorry or a simple message of gratitude to see how I was. Nothing.
    What would you advise me to do during this very painful time?
    I still love him so much and I am finding it difficult to move on.
    Many thanks,


    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 8, 2020 at 3:40 pm

      Hi Sophie if he has not got back with his ex even though he is single maybe they did just want to be friends but I understand why you felt that you could not trust him. It is a difficult situation to deal with. I would start reaching out yourself if you want him back, it is said in articles that we suggest you reach out first and you end conversations first for a while to build rapport

  15. Chanel

    March 19, 2020 at 2:41 am

    Hi there,
    So my boyfriend and I live together, and we have a 6 month old baby. We’ve had arguments in the past mainly due to my insecurities, and in his eyes immaturity. We just argued recently and he told me that he wanted to move out, and if it wasn’t for the baby we wouldn’t be together. I’m not sure what to do at this point because our arguments are pointless but they usually end up with me begging him to stay. This has been the worst one yet. What should I do!!???

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 19, 2020 at 10:43 am

      Hi Chanel, I know it sounds hard when you’re in the position. But try to remind yourself he wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t want to be. And work on your insecurities. Work on yourself. Learn that you are worthy. After a woman has a baby it does mess with our body and mental state. But it is important that you work on getting yourself better. When you feel that you are going to argue with your guy. Tell him that you are feeling a little upset and you are going to take a few minutes so that you don’t fall out with him. Communication (NO ARGUING) is how you are going to be able to fix this

  16. Ea1114

    January 31, 2020 at 11:27 am

    My ex boyfriend and I broke up six months ago . We were still friends and hanging out up until a week ago . I lied about something so dumb because I got nervous . Now he saying he’s done and never wants to speak to me again . Do I finally just give up and walk away for good ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 31, 2020 at 11:36 pm

      Hey there, only you can decide what you want to do. If you want to try and get your ex back then you start with No Contact and get yourself familiar with this program and how we work

  17. Ella

    January 10, 2020 at 1:28 pm

    Hello ,
    I met this guy a month ago and we really got along very well , we started going on dates and he told me he has feelings for me and everything went smoothly until new year’s eve. We had a fight and since then he doesn’t reply on my texts even though i apologised on my behaviour but he said he’s hurt and doesn’t want to hear from me anymore. Is there a chance to get him back .. i didn’t contact him for 6 days now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 13, 2020 at 11:48 pm

      Hey Ella, I think if you follow the program you can give yourself your best chance at reattracting him but you have to do the work, and in the mean time start dating casually too

  18. Melissa

    December 14, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    I recently just finished no contact with a guy I was dating for a few months. He recently came back texting and calling me non stop. He begged to see me and when I finally agreed to meet up he flaked out saying “ I don’t know” I got really upset and flipped out on him basically because I arranged a babysitter for no reason. After our fight he said I thought I was a great person but continuing our relationship seemed pushy right now. I still said horrible things but I haven’t contacted him since our fight. Do I still have a chance in getting him back? Was I wrong for lashing out?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 14, 2019 at 10:12 pm

      Hey Melissa, so the issue is that you flipped out. As hard as it is when youve sorted a sitter out and had that alone time. What you should have done is gone out and had a drink with another friend and posted about it on social media so he could see you were not phased by him cancelling. Also making the most of your free evening too. So if you want to get this guy back try not to have the emotional outburst, just say “okay, I have an invite with a friend anyway” So you do still have a chance giving that you now do another no contact and start working on becoming Ungettable you need to read up on these things and make sure you are following them correctly.

  19. Susan

    December 7, 2019 at 1:09 am

    Hi my boyfriend leaves for couple of weeks after we argue!! Tbf i tell him to!! Then he asks me back again!! I am not sure if he will come back this time!! As people can only tale so much!! But when we get on we get on great

  20. Maryam

    July 1, 2019 at 11:45 am

    Hope you’re doing great. My boyfriend and I (we’re both 29) had a very bad argument about something not very serious, he became very angry and shouted, get out of my car and shut the door, I panicked and called him right away, he was shouting and telling me he is tired of this relationship and I must go out of his life. I was so nervous so went to his place immediately (my mistake) and that made him even more angry. Then he started ignoring my calls and text and I stopped texting him for a week. he was also silent during that week seems that waiting for me to contact so I sent a short message that I want to drink some wine with him and he is missed truly. he answered this relationship is ended please do not contact me. I answered we need to talk it is my right after 3 years to talk and then break up, he answered I will call you in 1-2 weeks or whenever I wanted to call, and my answer was “I Love you and like to stay in this relationship, just keep calm and then make decision I will respect that”. he even haven’t seen my text yet and It’s been a week I stopped texting him again and I am waiting for his call. Do you think I can have him back? or this is a real break up?

    thanks for helping me,

1 2 3 7