Get Your Boyfriend Back After A Fight

Getting your ex boyfriend back after a fight isn’t as impossible a task as people make it out to be. Now, I don’t want to mislead you here. It is going to take hard work, good timing and the right strategy to position yourself in a place where you have a chance of winning your ex boyfriends back. Luckily, I put this page together for you to break down the overall strategy that you should use if you had a big blowout with your ex. I also feel it is important to point out that no matter what anyone says there are no guarantees when it comes to this kind of stuff. Anyone who says they can promise you that they can get your ex back 100% of the time is a scam artist and I would say you are better off moving on then listening to their advice.

Speaking of advice, everything I talk about on this page, every strategy, tactic and idea I have derived from the foremost experts in the relationship world, stories I have found online and my own personal experience. So, you can rest easy knowing that I am being up front and honest with you. I know this may sound a little goofy but I honestly want to become the number one authority in the world on helping women get back with their boyfriends (if they choose to.) I work on this site every day and will respond to every single comment so feel free to ask a question if you have one.

What This Page Is About

Well, in a nutshell it is about fighting. Using this page it is my goal to help you understand what you need to do to get your boyfriend back after a monster fight. I am going to be talking about the following things.

  • What causes couples to fight the most.
  • How to approach a fight (there is a good way and a bad way to fight.)
  • What to do after the fight (and breakup) to get your ex back.

Now, before I move on to the next section on this page I do want to point out that this page WILL NOT tell you everything you need to know about getting an ex boyfriend back. I know, I know but don’t fret I have a couple of solutions for you. Yes, this page is an epic page. However, that’s all it is, just a page on this site. If you want more in-depth instructions on what you need to do to get your boyfriend back I recommend reading ALL the pages of this site (there is something to be gained from all of them.)

Fighting… Good Or Bad For Ex Recovery?

fight club

This page is focusing specifically on women (who broke up/have been broken up) with their boyfriends because of a big fight. Nothing can get your emotions out of whack like a good ole fight can. All of a sudden you become angry, frustrated and say some very hurtful things to someone you really care deeply about. This brings up a few interesting questions. What do couples fight about the most? Is fighting normal? Do you even have a chance of getting back with your ex?

Hmm… lets take things one question at a time.

What Do Couples Fight About The Most?

I am going to go ahead and raise my hand here and say that I have fought about some pretty silly things with my exes before. I am sure most people can relate on some level. However, I naturally go curious and decided to look up what the average couple will fight about. Here is what I found:

  • Free Time- Girls tend to want their boyfriends to spend more time with them. Guys don’t want to be with their girlfriends, they want to be with their friends and have a guys night out.
  • Money- This is for our our more mature couples out there that live together. The boyfriend will usually complain that the girl spends too much while the girl will complain that the boyfriend doesn’t spend enough. No joke!
  • Politics- This is for a select group of couples who have two differing political parties. Democrat girl, republican guy. Independent girl, republican guy. You get the idea.
  • Sex- What a racy topic huh? Haha, no couples fight about whether to have sex before marriage or after. Sometimes a guy will want to do something a girl will not. Of course, sometimes a girl will want to do something a guy will not.
  • Jealousy- Ahh… the most famous relationship killer. Guys can get jealous of girls just as much as girls can get jealous of guys. Either way, a lot of fights are caused because jealousy plays a central role.

Is Fighting Normal?couple fight

Fighting is absolutely normal duhh. Can you imagine how boring the world would be if everyone agreed about everything and there were no arguments? This may be a little controversial but I say, embrace the conflict. As long as you fight in a healthy way (where you don’t horribly demean the other person) you can actually have a healthy discussion that strengthens the relationship. What is an example of a healthy “fight?”

  • Make sure you address the issue. So many couples choose to call each other hurtful names rather than work together to communicate their real issues.
  • Yelling is a bad thing. There is no need to yell. Just talk softly. Sure, you may be so angry that you could punch a hole in the wall but there is no need to yell about it. Talk softly and slowly so you can calmly address the issue.
  • Be as specific as possible when addressing an issue or if ask for specifics if you are unsure. Specifics are good!
  • Eventually you are going to have to cooperate with this person to fix whatever problem you may be fighting about it. Make sure you resolve the problem.

Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a couple that fights in the “preferred” way. Most fights end up being nothing but who can call who the worse name or who can hurt each other the most. Ironically, that leads us to our next question.

Do You Have A Chance Of Getting Your Ex Back After A Fight?

I am going to be honest with you here. If I were to help someone get their ex boyfriend back the ideal “student” would be someone who broke up with their ex boyfriend because of a big fight. So, yes you have a pretty darn good shot at getting your ex back if you broke up directly because of a fight.

One of the first pages I wrote when I created this site was having a legitimate reason for getting back together. On that page I basically state the importance of having a real reason for getting back with your ex. In my opinion a good legitimate reason for getting back together with your ex is if you were broken up because of a fight. Don’t you owe it to yourself to give the relationship a try, enduring the fights in a healthy way?

No Contact Is A MUST

no eye contact

If you aren’t familiar with the infamous no contact rule then I suggest you get familiar with it.

(I talk about it in depth in my system.)

In short, the no contact rule is something you implement immediately after a breakup. You can’t call, text, email or facebook your ex at all. To take things a step further, you can’t even respond if your ex contacts you. I know this may seem a little harsh but trust me when I say it is vital for your particular situation. Lets take a moment to break down why the no contact rule will work especially well in your case.

You had a big fight with your ex boyfriend that ultimately ended in a breakup. Things were said on both sides, hurtful things. Emotions are running high and your first instinct is to call up your ex boyfriend and apologize hoping that you can somehow save the relationship. Maybe you already tried this tactic but had no success at all.

The reason this doesn’t work (most of the time) is that your boyfriend is expecting you to do this. As sick as I think it is, there is a part of all men (myself included) that enjoys being “in control” of things. Every time a girl calls us up and asks to hang out or to patch things up we immediately pull the “oh yea, I definitely got her!”

It’s human nature to shun what we have and to want what we don’t have.

This is why the no contact rule works so well. By successfully implementing it you go from being the girl that he had to the girl that he can’t have and that makes you so much more attractive in his eyes. Let me put it to you this way, have you ever liked someone so much that you texted but they never texted back? You spent all day double checking your phone wondering why they haven’t texted back? Surely there must be something wrong with them so you logged on to their Facebook account only to see that they have been posting updates all day long. Sure, you are angry but the next day you always text them back hoping you still have a shot.

Sound familiar?

Now, can you imagine having your ex boyfriend doing that type of stuff over you? That is exactly what the no contact rule, if implemented correctly, will do for you. It turns the tables and gives you the power in the relationship. Now, there is actually quite a bit more to the no contact rule than just cutting yourself off from your ex (like what you are supposed to do during it and how long you have to implement it for) but I don’t want you to worry about it because I created a very long and in-depth guide detailing everything you could possibly want to know about the no contact rule here.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Ok, But How Do You Get Them Back?

im back

If you are able to successfully make it through the No Contact period one of three things is going to happen.

  1. Your ex will have contacted you asking to see you.
  2. Your ex will have contacted you asking how you are or asking some other general question.
  3. Your ex will have not contacted you at all.

I am going to use this section to advise you on how to approach all of the situations above.

Your Ex Contacts You Asking To See You

Obviously, this is the most positive outcome of the no contact period. While I will admit it is the best thing that can happen it is also very very rare. The goal of this page is to help you get your ex back but I need you to understand that even though your boyfriend contacting you like this is really good you can’t get too overconfident. You have to make sure every step you take is on your terms and not his. Remember, you have to be the “unattainable” and there is nothing unattainable about running back to his arms the first time he shows you a little attention. My advice is to follow the strategies laid out here. Know, that you have him hooked but in order to reel him in you are going to have to doing everything just right.

Your Ex Just Generally Contacts You

This is another really good outcome. The most common one actually. It isn’t as good as (option one) above but the fact that he contacted you means you are on his mind, a lot. Take solace in the fact that he is thinking about you and there are clearly some unresolved feelings from his side. The question now becomes how do you proceed? Well, your best play is to take things really slowly and make sure you check out my step by step guide on how to get him back here. The whole thing is my masterpiece. No joke, I spent a month writing it and it is by far the most popular page on this website. It will take you through every step of the process. Yup, every single step!

You Ex Doesn’t Contact You At All

Oh my gosh, the world is ending…. sike! I can’t tell you how many questions I get from women whose exes didn’t contact them during the no contact period and seem to think they have no chance winning him back. The truth of the matter is that it isn’t an ideal situation but your chances are hardly over. Again, I want you to reference my how to get your ex back guide. There you will find an exact step by step guide on what to do.

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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508 Comments on "Get Your Boyfriend Back After A Fight"

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Linnea
Guest
Hi. So 9 days ago my ex boyfriend broke up with me. It was the day before my birthday, sooo, my birthday this year was litteraly the worst birthday I ever had. We were together for 1,5 year. 5 months ago the arguments came. 1 month ago or something like that he texted me that he wanted to break up because “we didn’t fit together anymore”, buuuuut I begged him to stay.. so he did and texted me “I’m so so so sorry… I didn’t meant anything. I love you to much to leave you and I’m to scare to… Read more »
Grace
Guest
My bf and I broke up last night. – I blocked and deleted him on a phone app site where we met, he was so angry trying to find out why. When we finally talk and made up, I told him it’s better to remain friends and break it off.. and not talk for 3 week… he got so angry and called me unstable and childlish. He said he can’t believe I am asking not to talk for weeks. I had thought about it and I felt bad for the whole situation, I felt like it was my fault. So… Read more »
Laura jonez
Guest

Hi! My ex fiancee broke it off with me just over 2 weeks ago and it’s been a rollercoaster. I found out he was talking to another girl saying he was single (but not being flirty) on dates that we were on holiday together! Everything seemed ok but then I went crazy at him and told him never to speak to me again! And he hasn’t so far. Should I just initiate NC???

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Laura,

If you can talk first after both of you had cooled down, talk first to resolve things.

Laura jonez
Guest

Hi! My ex fiancee broke it off with me just over 2 weeks ago and it’s been a rollercoaster. I found out he was talking to another girl saying he was single (but not being flirty) on dates that we were on holiday together! Everything seemed ok but then I went crazy at him and told him never to speak to me again! And he hasn’t so far. Should I just initiate NC???

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Laura,

If you can talk first after both of you had cooled down, talk first to resolve things.

Melissa
Guest
Hello there, Met this guy online since December last year and we have also now met both sides families and friends. We traveled for a 3 weeks Dec/Jan. Everything was going on fine but we have a distance between us that is we are in the same country but with an hour flight away. I am working towards stationing myself closer to him. However, we hardly call or text as he admitted that he is not used to being in a distanced relationship and is not used to calling or texting. So our only hope was for me to move… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Melissa,

Apologize once sincerely first through text and then waitt for his reply.. If after 1 week he didn’t reply, start a 21 day nc rule

Melissa
Guest
Hello there, Met this guy online since December last year and we have also now met both sides families and friends. We traveled for a 3 weeks Dec/Jan. Everything was going on fine but we have a distance between us that is we are in the same country but with an hour flight away. I am working towards stationing myself closer to him. However, we hardly call or text as he admitted that he is not used to being in a distanced relationship and is not used to calling or texting. So our only hope was for me to move… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Melissa,

Apologize once sincerely first through text and then waitt for his reply.. If after 1 week he didn’t reply, start a 21 day nc rule

DeAndra Gentry
Guest

Help we were friends first were togetger 2 yrs.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Deandra,

When and why did you break up?

DeAndra Gentry
Guest

Help we were friends first were togetger 2 yrs.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Deandra,

When and why did you break up?

Lena
Guest
Me and my ex ended things pretty well,we agreed that both of us needed some time alone and everything was ok until a few days after a breakup when he told his friends that he likes this other girl (luckily one of them told me).I was so mad and I asked him to get my stuff back and we had a huge fight after which he tried to convince me,that he doesn’t have any feelings for her.Even though I wasn’t convinced the fight ended good I guess?The day after he saw me smoking cigarettes and threatened to tell everyone and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lena,
you can follow the advice on this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

Lena
Guest
Me and my ex ended things pretty well,we agreed that both of us needed some time alone and everything was ok until a few days after a breakup when he told his friends that he likes this other girl (luckily one of them told me).I was so mad and I asked him to get my stuff back and we had a huge fight after which he tried to convince me,that he doesn’t have any feelings for her.Even though I wasn’t convinced the fight ended good I guess?The day after he saw me smoking cigarettes and threatened to tell everyone and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lena,
you can follow the advice on this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

tehnia
Guest

Dear Amor,

Can you help me please… I have left multiple comments and emails … to Chris but I do not get a response …. ir eally need your help please ….. help me.

Tehnia

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tehnia,

The emails are handlef by Leia, our team mate.. If you replied to those texts, restart the count and do at least 21 days and check this one:
How To Take Charge Of Your Life After A Breakup (One Woman’s Incredible Story)
And this one:
Desperation 101- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Looking Desperate

tehnia
Guest

Dear Amor,

Can you help me please… I have left multiple comments and emails … to Chris but I do not get a response …. ir eally need your help please ….. help me.

Tehnia

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tehnia,

The emails are handlef by Leia, our team mate.. If you replied to those texts, restart the count and do at least 21 days and check this one:
How To Take Charge Of Your Life After A Breakup (One Woman’s Incredible Story)
And this one:
Desperation 101- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Looking Desperate

Dushee
Guest
Hi…one year back I went Dubai for a tour. During that time I met this good looking young Egyptian man and we fall on love. Once in every 3 months I visited Dubai only to see him and now it’s been one year for our relationship. For this whole past year we text each other almost daily and even we don’t stay in one country we were in so much love. 3 months back the commitment from his side started to get little… and the communication got so much less from his part. Several times I had so many issues… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Dushee
Guest
Hi…one year back I went Dubai for a tour. During that time I met this good looking young Egyptian man and we fall on love. Once in every 3 months I visited Dubai only to see him and now it’s been one year for our relationship. For this whole past year we text each other almost daily and even we don’t stay in one country we were in so much love. 3 months back the commitment from his side started to get little… and the communication got so much less from his part. Several times I had so many issues… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Maria
Guest
Hello… so my situation is very complecated (sorry for any grammatical errors). My bf of 2 months(i know it’s not a lot but it was beautiful) broke up with me because he didn’t love me anymore and of course i begged him for another chance but he didn’t gave me one…so i tried in so many ways to see him to talk but efen if he said yes he never wanted… the worst part is that…one night i saw him with a friend and i approached to him saying that i needed to talk at least 5 minutes. What he… Read more »
Maria
Guest
Hello… so my situation is very complecated (sorry for any grammatical errors). My bf of 2 months(i know it’s not a lot but it was beautiful) broke up with me because he didn’t love me anymore and of course i begged him for another chance but he didn’t gave me one…so i tried in so many ways to see him to talk but efen if he said yes he never wanted… the worst part is that…one night i saw him with a friend and i approached to him saying that i needed to talk at least 5 minutes. What he… Read more »
Lydia
Guest
My boyfriend and I who LIVE together recently “broke up” because of a huge drunken argument. It was scarring for both of us and the most hurtful things we’ve ever said to eachother were said. I begged him to give it time and space (I went to my parents for a few days) and he agreed. I came back one night and he seemed very bitter with me and ignored me. The next night after work I texted him when I got home (when he was still at work) asking if he had time tonight to come talk because I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Lydia
Guest
My boyfriend and I who LIVE together recently “broke up” because of a huge drunken argument. It was scarring for both of us and the most hurtful things we’ve ever said to eachother were said. I begged him to give it time and space (I went to my parents for a few days) and he agreed. I came back one night and he seemed very bitter with me and ignored me. The next night after work I texted him when I got home (when he was still at work) asking if he had time tonight to come talk because I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Upasana
Guest
Hi I had a big fight last month with my boyfriend of 3 years wherein I had said something really mean and hurting things to him in anger which I did not mean at all. I even apologised to him many times and tried to reason with him. But he said he lost all respect and love for me as he didnt expect me to react that way to a particular situation. When probed further, he told me it is not just this incident but all the past incidents where we had fought due to one reason or the other… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Upasana,

Are you in no contact period now?

Upasana
Guest
Hi I had a big fight last month with my boyfriend of 3 years wherein I had said something really mean and hurting things to him in anger which I did not mean at all. I even apologised to him many times and tried to reason with him. But he said he lost all respect and love for me as he didnt expect me to react that way to a particular situation. When probed further, he told me it is not just this incident but all the past incidents where we had fought due to one reason or the other… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Upasana,

Are you in no contact period now?

Nayantara
Guest
Hey. Me and My boyfriend were dating 10 months and were in a long distance relationship. Being an LDR, we used to fight a lot since our relationship started as LDR only but he used to come to meet me atleast for good 6-7 days every month and that’s how I realized we fit together like pieces of puzzles. Now recently we have been fighting a lot since he got a new job and instead of moving to my city, he is moving to some other city. So after that we came to a mutual decision that I will also… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

He’s tired of the fights.. When are you moving there?

Nayantara
Guest
Hey. Me and My boyfriend were dating 10 months and were in a long distance relationship. Being an LDR, we used to fight a lot since our relationship started as LDR only but he used to come to meet me atleast for good 6-7 days every month and that’s how I realized we fit together like pieces of puzzles. Now recently we have been fighting a lot since he got a new job and instead of moving to my city, he is moving to some other city. So after that we came to a mutual decision that I will also… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

He’s tired of the fights.. When are you moving there?

reb
Guest
My boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 months, about 11 days ago we got into a big argument and it was over text message. he said that i because i could tell him how much i’ve been there for him when we get in an argument that i was arrogant and that i will never change. against better judgement i begged him and sent him a bunch of text messages trying to explain myself. All he did was read them with no reply and blocked me on snapchat. We had little tiffs before an he usually cools off… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Reb,

start the count for the no contact period after this and start improving yourself, and being active in posting in social media too..

reb
Guest
My boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 months, about 11 days ago we got into a big argument and it was over text message. he said that i because i could tell him how much i’ve been there for him when we get in an argument that i was arrogant and that i will never change. against better judgement i begged him and sent him a bunch of text messages trying to explain myself. All he did was read them with no reply and blocked me on snapchat. We had little tiffs before an he usually cools off… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Reb,

start the count for the no contact period after this and start improving yourself, and being active in posting in social media too..

Natalie
Guest
Hi Amor, So I am dating this guy for about 8 months and lately we have been arguing a lot. After every argument he says that he is not sure about me and he thinks we should break up. I am tired of hearing this. Last night after a fight he said that he is not sure about me and that he doesnt have time for these fights in his life and broke up with me. I tried to convince him to give another chance but he didnt listen. Today he had a dental treatment, so I called to ask… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

what do you do after every fight? were you always the one chasing him? If you are, do you want to try being more focused in yourself and in your activities? Have your own life. Be an ungettable girl.

Natalie
Guest
Hi Amor, So I am dating this guy for about 8 months and lately we have been arguing a lot. After every argument he says that he is not sure about me and he thinks we should break up. I am tired of hearing this. Last night after a fight he said that he is not sure about me and that he doesnt have time for these fights in his life and broke up with me. I tried to convince him to give another chance but he didnt listen. Today he had a dental treatment, so I called to ask… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

what do you do after every fight? were you always the one chasing him? If you are, do you want to try being more focused in yourself and in your activities? Have your own life. Be an ungettable girl.

Joe
Guest

Hii I m Joe…Me n my boyfrnd were in a relationship for 4years…last Sunday we had a fight..it’s jus misunderstanding…he warned me that he dont want me anymore…I have been texting him…but no response still.it’s killing me literally …what should I do? Plz tell me…

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

give him space..let him be for now

Joe
Guest

Hii I m Joe…Me n my boyfrnd were in a relationship for 4years…last Sunday we had a fight..it’s jus misunderstanding…he warned me that he dont want me anymore…I have been texting him…but no response still.it’s killing me literally …what should I do? Plz tell me…

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

give him space..let him be for now

Emily
Guest
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. On Friday everything was going well until I asked him if he wants to go with me to see this guy that was my co-worker. He said no, but he obviously seemed pissed, because there were rumours that I liked my co-worker before. However, he told me he’s not pissed, but then I thought he was and was worried for the whole morning. I had quite a bad day so I started yelling at him saying don’t try to fuck around with me if you’re not pissed, but then… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Emily
Guest
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. On Friday everything was going well until I asked him if he wants to go with me to see this guy that was my co-worker. He said no, but he obviously seemed pissed, because there were rumours that I liked my co-worker before. However, he told me he’s not pissed, but then I thought he was and was worried for the whole morning. I had quite a bad day so I started yelling at him saying don’t try to fuck around with me if you’re not pissed, but then… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Danielle
Guest
Hi, I’m Danielle. The man I’ve been with we weren’t exactly together but was working on it. We have been off and on for the past 3 years and had a child together about a year ago and he has a very strong independent character (ex military type) that has a hard time expressing good emotions. I’m the sensitive type and romantic type and I’ve always been head over heals crazy love about him but I never feel it back. We have had fights in the past and recently we strayed couples therapy and we were going absolutely great for… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Danielle,

aside from the advice above, check the links below:
How Do I Prevent My Boyfriend From Ending Our Relationship

The Ungettable Girl

Danielle
Guest
Hi, I’m Danielle. The man I’ve been with we weren’t exactly together but was working on it. We have been off and on for the past 3 years and had a child together about a year ago and he has a very strong independent character (ex military type) that has a hard time expressing good emotions. I’m the sensitive type and romantic type and I’ve always been head over heals crazy love about him but I never feel it back. We have had fights in the past and recently we strayed couples therapy and we were going absolutely great for… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Danielle,

aside from the advice above, check the links below:
How Do I Prevent My Boyfriend From Ending Our Relationship

The Ungettable Girl

misha
Guest

we were in relationship from last 2 years even after 1 year after every fight he said leave me leave me………….but this time we had bad bad fight and he is not agree for patchup I messaged him many time ,go to his house he asked me to leave his house,he said I don’t want to sex wid you if u will be here ,we will sex and saying we can be friend but we can not be in relationship now what should i do i ma very disturbed.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Misha,

dont be friends with benefits with him..do the no contact rule

misha
Guest

we were in relationship from last 2 years even after 1 year after every fight he said leave me leave me………….but this time we had bad bad fight and he is not agree for patchup I messaged him many time ,go to his house he asked me to leave his house,he said I don’t want to sex wid you if u will be here ,we will sex and saying we can be friend but we can not be in relationship now what should i do i ma very disturbed.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Misha,

dont be friends with benefits with him..do the no contact rule

Ally
Guest
Hi, I’ve been dating my boyfriend long distance, for about a year. A few days ago we got in a disagreement. It first started with me being upset with him for forgetting our anniversary. He said he was sorry and super stressed work. This led to me saying that he can always talk to me about it, but he insisted he didn’t want to worry me before he goes into deployment. This is where things took a turn for the worse. I mentioned that I don’t like to tell him certain things that I know are going to add to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ally,

There’s no guarantee that it will work, you just have to try.

Ally
Guest
Hi, I’ve been dating my boyfriend long distance, for about a year. A few days ago we got in a disagreement. It first started with me being upset with him for forgetting our anniversary. He said he was sorry and super stressed work. This led to me saying that he can always talk to me about it, but he insisted he didn’t want to worry me before he goes into deployment. This is where things took a turn for the worse. I mentioned that I don’t like to tell him certain things that I know are going to add to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ally,

There’s no guarantee that it will work, you just have to try.

Miranda
Guest

Hi,

I had wrote a very long detailed comment explaining my situation. It said it was waiting for a response, but it hasn’t shown up on here? Not sure if it was responded to?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Miranda,

it’s still in moderation in mine, I just haven’t reached it. Did you mean it totally disappeared in yours?

Try at least 30 days.. continue to be active in improving yourself and being active in posting. Hopefully after nc, he has cooled down.

Miranda
Guest

Thanks for all the advice

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome Miranda!

Miranda
Guest
Amor! Sorry to keep bombarding you with questions, but the other day after I submitted my most recent comment. Out of the blue I heard from one of my exes best friends via Facebook (his best friend and I are still friends on Facebook and he isn’t a member of the band and he’s also a positive sober role model in my ex’s life) he reached out to me to tell me that he is looking out for my ex and wanted me to know that because he was told I was worried about him. Now the only way he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

It’s ok! You can ask anytime. yes, he can be checking in on you.. but whether he is checking in on you or not, what you said to his friend will reach your ex, because of course, he’s going to relay that. So, just continue improving yourself.

Miranda
Guest
I’m continuing to improve myself! I’ve been in the gym as much as I can which is something I used to love to do and I’m finally getting a sense of my identity back instead of worrying about what my ex is up to. I’m also on day 20 of no contact. I hope my response to his friend was okay. Even though the last time I spoke to my ex, we were both angry. I have nothing bad to say about him and I made sure I wasn’t negative in any aspect when his friend messaged me. Thanks for… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

That’s very good! Keep it up even after nc. I’ll wait for your update!

Miranda
Guest

Hi,

I had wrote a very long detailed comment explaining my situation. It said it was waiting for a response, but it hasn’t shown up on here? Not sure if it was responded to?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Miranda,

it’s still in moderation in mine, I just haven’t reached it. Did you mean it totally disappeared in yours?

Try at least 30 days.. continue to be active in improving yourself and being active in posting. Hopefully after nc, he has cooled down.

Miranda
Guest

Thanks for all the advice

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome Miranda!

Miranda
Guest
Amor! Sorry to keep bombarding you with questions, but the other day after I submitted my most recent comment. Out of the blue I heard from one of my exes best friends via Facebook (his best friend and I are still friends on Facebook and he isn’t a member of the band and he’s also a positive sober role model in my ex’s life) he reached out to me to tell me that he is looking out for my ex and wanted me to know that because he was told I was worried about him. Now the only way he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

It’s ok! You can ask anytime. yes, he can be checking in on you.. but whether he is checking in on you or not, what you said to his friend will reach your ex, because of course, he’s going to relay that. So, just continue improving yourself.

Miranda
Guest
I’m continuing to improve myself! I’ve been in the gym as much as I can which is something I used to love to do and I’m finally getting a sense of my identity back instead of worrying about what my ex is up to. I’m also on day 20 of no contact. I hope my response to his friend was okay. Even though the last time I spoke to my ex, we were both angry. I have nothing bad to say about him and I made sure I wasn’t negative in any aspect when his friend messaged me. Thanks for… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

That’s very good! Keep it up even after nc. I’ll wait for your update!

Miranda
Guest
Hi, My ex boyfriend and I were dating for 3 months. At the same time we started dating he had joined a band. He stated when we started dating that he was sober for 2 years and didn’t drink. I was totally fine with that and actually admired him for it. Fast forward 6 weeks and I noticed that he had started to drink when he was with the band. This concerned me because I noticed how his personality would change. (I would go to his shows and not drink to be supportive) I didn’t want to fight about this… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Miranda,

it’s still in moderation in mine, I just haven’t reached it. Did you mean it totally disappeared in yours?

Try at least 30 days.. continue to be active in improving yourself and being active in posting. Hopefully after nc, he has cooled down.

Miranda
Guest
Thanks Amor! I can now see it. If I don’t hear from him after 30 days and I continue to see him posting that he’s having so much fun with the band and his friends….do I just give up and move on? I found out yesterday he’s even spending time with a younger girl who is a mutual friend. Now I’m very upset. I joined the gym and have been working on myself and getting back to things that I enjoy, but I miss him. I don’t know if he’s relapsing and just wants to party and be single or… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

If he’s moving on, the more reason he should see you are too. So, that after nc, he would be willing to take a chance on being friends again.

Miranda
Guest
That’s the problem…I don’t want to be friends with him. I want him back. I want to believe that he loved me. I don’t know if he is just going through a phase of partying and falling back into old patterns…He’s very stubborn so if I don’t hear from him after NC, would you suggest I reach out to him? I just don’t want to push him further away. I think at the end of the day, he didn’t want to keep fighting over his drinking with the band and decided that if he broke up with me his problem… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Just to be clear, the problems wouldn’t go away. Especially if that’s something that he is the only one who has control with. That’s why we need to have standards, because we can’t control other people. We have to let go of the ones who don’t fit those standards. It’s ok to initiate nc, just be the one to end the conversation at high point. And you’re just starting out friendly, and then build rapport and attraction on the way. If you want him to initiate, set a limit until when you would wait before moving on.

Miranda
Guest
Hi Amor, My update isn’t a good one. I saw my ex for the first time on Saturday. He is “talking on a regular basis” to a girl that he knows I’m friends with. Which I think on both of their parts is messed up. I told her I thought it was messed up and she said it just kind of happened. I completed the 30 day nc. I’ve been improving myself. I’ve been in the gym 4 days a week. Me and this girl are polar opposites. She doesn’t have a job and she likes to party all the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

if she is less than you then she’s more likely a rebound but right now, do what you can control which is building rapport.. Start with that..

Miranda
Guest
Thanks Amor! I’m hoping she is just a rebound. I think his frame of mind is that she is equal to where he is in life right now. I bought PRO. I didn’t text him yet, because she knows that I’m upset that they are speaking and I’m sure she told him and he’s eating that up. I don’t want to jump the gun and look desperate. He couldn’t even look at me when I saw him on Saturday. Do you think he feels guilt for breaking up with me and that’s why he can’t acknowledge me? Also, how long… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yeah he can be feeling guilty..maybe he just doesn’t know what to say.. wait 3-5 days

Miranda
Guest
Hi, My ex boyfriend and I were dating for 3 months. At the same time we started dating he had joined a band. He stated when we started dating that he was sober for 2 years and didn’t drink. I was totally fine with that and actually admired him for it. Fast forward 6 weeks and I noticed that he had started to drink when he was with the band. This concerned me because I noticed how his personality would change. (I would go to his shows and not drink to be supportive) I didn’t want to fight about this… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Miranda,

it’s still in moderation in mine, I just haven’t reached it. Did you mean it totally disappeared in yours?

Try at least 30 days.. continue to be active in improving yourself and being active in posting. Hopefully after nc, he has cooled down.

Miranda
Guest
Thanks Amor! I can now see it. If I don’t hear from him after 30 days and I continue to see him posting that he’s having so much fun with the band and his friends….do I just give up and move on? I found out yesterday he’s even spending time with a younger girl who is a mutual friend. Now I’m very upset. I joined the gym and have been working on myself and getting back to things that I enjoy, but I miss him. I don’t know if he’s relapsing and just wants to party and be single or… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

If he’s moving on, the more reason he should see you are too. So, that after nc, he would be willing to take a chance on being friends again.

Miranda
Guest
That’s the problem…I don’t want to be friends with him. I want him back. I want to believe that he loved me. I don’t know if he is just going through a phase of partying and falling back into old patterns…He’s very stubborn so if I don’t hear from him after NC, would you suggest I reach out to him? I just don’t want to push him further away. I think at the end of the day, he didn’t want to keep fighting over his drinking with the band and decided that if he broke up with me his problem… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Just to be clear, the problems wouldn’t go away. Especially if that’s something that he is the only one who has control with. That’s why we need to have standards, because we can’t control other people. We have to let go of the ones who don’t fit those standards. It’s ok to initiate nc, just be the one to end the conversation at high point. And you’re just starting out friendly, and then build rapport and attraction on the way. If you want him to initiate, set a limit until when you would wait before moving on.

Miranda
Guest
Hi Amor, My update isn’t a good one. I saw my ex for the first time on Saturday. He is “talking on a regular basis” to a girl that he knows I’m friends with. Which I think on both of their parts is messed up. I told her I thought it was messed up and she said it just kind of happened. I completed the 30 day nc. I’ve been improving myself. I’ve been in the gym 4 days a week. Me and this girl are polar opposites. She doesn’t have a job and she likes to party all the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

if she is less than you then she’s more likely a rebound but right now, do what you can control which is building rapport.. Start with that..

Miranda
Guest
Thanks Amor! I’m hoping she is just a rebound. I think his frame of mind is that she is equal to where he is in life right now. I bought PRO. I didn’t text him yet, because she knows that I’m upset that they are speaking and I’m sure she told him and he’s eating that up. I don’t want to jump the gun and look desperate. He couldn’t even look at me when I saw him on Saturday. Do you think he feels guilt for breaking up with me and that’s why he can’t acknowledge me? Also, how long… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yeah he can be feeling guilty..maybe he just doesn’t know what to say.. wait 3-5 days

DivineD
Guest
Hi… I was dating a guy for the last 3 months. We had really great chemistry, conversation, and genuinely enjoyed one another’s company. We began having disagreements over little things, but he saw it as a BIG deal where I did not. We agreed to work on continuing to date and see if things would get better. Overall they did, but there were also instances where I chose not to go back and forth with him. We are both analytical / realistic individuals and sometimes we both just want to be right. He’s offered the you can be happy or… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Divine d,

maybe for him.the arguments are too much when you’ve only been dating for 3 months.. I think both of you needs this nc to think..

DivineD
Guest
Hi… I was dating a guy for the last 3 months. We had really great chemistry, conversation, and genuinely enjoyed one another’s company. We began having disagreements over little things, but he saw it as a BIG deal where I did not. We agreed to work on continuing to date and see if things would get better. Overall they did, but there were also instances where I chose not to go back and forth with him. We are both analytical / realistic individuals and sometimes we both just want to be right. He’s offered the you can be happy or… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Divine d,

maybe for him.the arguments are too much when you’ve only been dating for 3 months.. I think both of you needs this nc to think..

mirabel
Guest

hi

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hello Mirabel

mirabel
Guest

hi

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hello Mirabel

Cara
Guest
Hi, this site is awesome. I am having trouble understanding the concept of “moving on without really moving on”…..for instance, Chris says to move on and do things like improve your life, post on facebook so your ex sees it, not dwell on the break up but act like you are moving on. But then he’s also said that the most successful ones are the ones that have moved on from their exes and then suddenly their exes appear in the picture again. It’ s hard to conceptualize moving on without moving on because for me, if I decide to… Read more »
Cara
Guest

I just thought of a good analogy to explain my question on how to move on,
To me it ‘s like picking a scab while also hoping it heals…and it’s like going in opposite directions.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hi Cara, it’s like preparing to move on.. you’ll heal, improve and be more rational..that way, when you try to rebuild rapport, you’re coming from more rational point of view.. So, when you’re talking, you’re just having fun, not demanding.. like a restart and when it’s not working, you’ll be able to walk away instead of chase.. Women who choose to move on and got their ex back is more likely because they’ve become the ungettable girl..they’ve improved and they’ve let go..when they talk to their ex, it’s just for fun and then they go back to their lives again… Read more »
Cara
Guest
Hi, this site is awesome. I am having trouble understanding the concept of “moving on without really moving on”…..for instance, Chris says to move on and do things like improve your life, post on facebook so your ex sees it, not dwell on the break up but act like you are moving on. But then he’s also said that the most successful ones are the ones that have moved on from their exes and then suddenly their exes appear in the picture again. It’ s hard to conceptualize moving on without moving on because for me, if I decide to… Read more »
Cara
Guest

I just thought of a good analogy to explain my question on how to move on,
To me it ‘s like picking a scab while also hoping it heals…and it’s like going in opposite directions.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hi Cara, it’s like preparing to move on.. you’ll heal, improve and be more rational..that way, when you try to rebuild rapport, you’re coming from more rational point of view.. So, when you’re talking, you’re just having fun, not demanding.. like a restart and when it’s not working, you’ll be able to walk away instead of chase.. Women who choose to move on and got their ex back is more likely because they’ve become the ungettable girl..they’ve improved and they’ve let go..when they talk to their ex, it’s just for fun and then they go back to their lives again… Read more »
Lisa
Guest
Evening, so ive been coming to this site for a few weeks now and its kind of like a support person without the talking. without going in to to much detail my b/f and i started seeing each other last Chrsitmas (2015). we saw each other and became offically tigether in May 2016. (we’d known each other for a few years before and i’d always known i loved him, but timing wasnt great for either). Whe we bgan seeing each other he received some news that triggered a bit of a melt down in him, 6 months later his favorite… Read more »
Lisa
Guest

my apologies for the typos. I think quickly and its a little difficult to type and keep up with my thoughts…also if i’d typed slower i would probebly have deleted my comment/question as i have done so several times over the past few weeks and not submitted it.
L.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lisa,

check this one for what to do during no contact:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant
and you have to be strong if ever you bump into him.. Remember, he thinks you’re crazy about him, so influence his thinking by handling every situation with in the most emotionally mature way you can.

Lisa
Guest

thank you. It looks like i have to start the n/c over again though. I let emotion get the better of me and texted nhim telling him how much i miss him. having a “go to” distaction will be good for those moments where i feel that little bit weaker.
cheers and thanks
Lisa

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome! You can do it!

Lisa
Guest
Evening, so ive been coming to this site for a few weeks now and its kind of like a support person without the talking. without going in to to much detail my b/f and i started seeing each other last Chrsitmas (2015). we saw each other and became offically tigether in May 2016. (we’d known each other for a few years before and i’d always known i loved him, but timing wasnt great for either). Whe we bgan seeing each other he received some news that triggered a bit of a melt down in him, 6 months later his favorite… Read more »
Lisa
Guest

my apologies for the typos. I think quickly and its a little difficult to type and keep up with my thoughts…also if i’d typed slower i would probebly have deleted my comment/question as i have done so several times over the past few weeks and not submitted it.
L.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lisa,

check this one for what to do during no contact:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant
and you have to be strong if ever you bump into him.. Remember, he thinks you’re crazy about him, so influence his thinking by handling every situation with in the most emotionally mature way you can.

Lisa
Guest

thank you. It looks like i have to start the n/c over again though. I let emotion get the better of me and texted nhim telling him how much i miss him. having a “go to” distaction will be good for those moments where i feel that little bit weaker.
cheers and thanks
Lisa

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome! You can do it!

Jill
Guest
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years ever since senior year of high school but recently we have been arguing a ton and his mom doesn’t like me anymore. His mom is recently divorced with a new boyfriend who I personally don’t like. They had a barbecue and her boyfriend got all weird with me so I told him to back the “f” off. She didn’t like that very much. So now his mom doesn’t like me. And that puts a strain on the relationship. The last time I talked to hmy ex was a week ago… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jill,

I think it’s because he cant defend to his mom.. the only way it could work is either he talks to his mom or let her be in the meantime.. in your case, it would be better to focus in improving yourself during no contact

Jill
Guest
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years ever since senior year of high school but recently we have been arguing a ton and his mom doesn’t like me anymore. His mom is recently divorced with a new boyfriend who I personally don’t like. They had a barbecue and her boyfriend got all weird with me so I told him to back the “f” off. She didn’t like that very much. So now his mom doesn’t like me. And that puts a strain on the relationship. The last time I talked to hmy ex was a week ago… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jill,

I think it’s because he cant defend to his mom.. the only way it could work is either he talks to his mom or let her be in the meantime.. in your case, it would be better to focus in improving yourself during no contact