By Chris Seiter

Updated on February 25th, 2021

Today we are going to talk about ways to excite your ex boyfriend.  That’s right!  We are going to use some of your sex appeal to get him turned on from a distance.

What you want is for your ex boyfriend to covet you in such a way that he can barely contain himself when he thinks of you or is around you.

So if you are curious about what you can do to make your ex boyfriend want you badly, so bad that all he can think about is your beautiful face and smile and body; well hang on because we are going for a ride!

What Causes An Ex To Want You Badly

First up, let me give you a quick answer on the question of how to build sexual tension and make your ex boyfriend want you so much!

Sheila asked, “What ways can I make my ex boyfriend want me so bad? I want him to miss me like crazy.

To make your ex want you back as bad you want him requires a dedicated and persistent approach at building value and passion in ways that makes your boyfriend chase.  It’s not about how to convince your ex to sleep with you, rather it’s all the little things you do over time to seduce your ex boyfriend.

You see, you hold the ultimate spell over your ex boyfriend.

He holds on to certain erotic thoughts that only he and you know about.  So it’s about about resurrecting those intimate memories he subconsciously clings to. You can do so by sprinkling and mixing in little seduction tactics and charms to have him yearn for you.

Show me an ex boyfriend who is back to being crazy in love with you and I will show you a clever girl who has optimized the ways of making her ex want her sexually, without giving herself up.

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10 Ways to Arouse Your Ex Boyfriend  and Make Him Want You Badly

woman desired by man

If you want to draw in your ex, then you need to find ways to remind him about the beautiful and sensuous side of you.  But you need to avoid giving him the very thing he hungers for, namely sex.

Simply said, you want him to have sexy thoughts about you, but you are not going to let him sleep with you.  At least not for awhile.

So you would like your ex boyfriend to want nothing more than to hold and kiss you, along with all those other wonderful and romantic things you might be thinking about, right?

You want your ex to be aroused by thoughts of you, right?  And if he plays his cards right, then sex is something you both should be able to enjoy once he proves he is worthy of your intimacy.

So how do you get there?

What Are The Ways To Make My Ex Boyfriend Want Me More Sexually?

attractive female

How to get your ex bf to want to climb all over you?

It is a bit of a sexual dance, in which you say or do things to seduce your ex (such as through a text), but then pull away ever so briefly.  If you seduce your boyfriend well enough and often enough, you can literally make your ex boyfriend want you back and miss you like crazy.

So how do you leave these tantalizing reminders that you are his girl and he should dream and yearn for you every night?  It’s not by giving yourself up to him after only a few seductive actions.

No, that is not the way to wrestle control of the personal sexual power dynamic.

In the long run, if you want your ex boyfriend to value you, to think of you as his prize worth pursuing, he needs to learn that you are an Ungettable Girl.   It’s the chase and the notions he has about being intimate with you that causes him to be drawn into your web.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Some men rediscover their emotional connection for their ex girlfriend after they are reminded of their physical desire for her.  It’s like they think sex first, then love second.  It may be that the love is always there.  It is just obscured by their sexual appetite.

This is not always the case, but it can’t be discounted.

Your ex boyfriend will want you more than he realizes himself once he becomes aroused and is reminded of your sexuality.  If you tap into your ex boyfriend’s inner secret desires,  he won’t need much convincing to sleep with you.

But you don’t want to move too fast, too soon are you risk turning him off.  Because remember, you are not going to have have sex with him until the relationship is back on firmer ground, otherwise you set yourself up for hurt.

So let’s dive into 10 ways to make your ex boyfriend recognize he needs you emotionally and physically.  I am going to walk you up and down the sexual attraction value chain based on where you might be in the ex recovery process.

1. Compose a Sexy Story Series for Your Ex Boyfriend To Follow

You realize that your boyfriend still think of you in that way, right?

He can’t help it.

He is a guy and just about all guys have sex on the mind.

Now what you want to do is get him thinking of you, fantasizing about you, and one way to do that is to get him to follow a little story telling.  So what you are going to do is to use Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat and construct a series of posts or stories that reveal something about you that is sexually suggestive.

Perhaps you are going with some friends to pick out some lingerie.  So let him follow you adventures or misadventures.  Allow your ex boyfriend to consume every detail of your shopping spree  with a tease of intimacy.

Leave your ex boyfriend hanging and dangling on every suggestive sexual tease you choose to throw at him.  Men are into images, so leave him with little poses and various other moves as you go through your day.

Remember, the idea in a story telling series it to leave your ex boyfriend a little cliffhanger ending, preferably something highly suggestive to get him to read your next story.

2. Your Ex Boyfriend Will Be Driven To Want You More If You Dress Up For Him

So what you are looking to do is post a shot of you in new bikini or perhaps posing in a new outfit.  Give your ex boyfriend something to look at and think about.  He will come back to the photo of you and stare at it as he think about why on earth did he leave you.  Thoughts of wanting you right then and there will flood into his mind.

Another way to get your ex to want you badly is to get a new hairstyle, something completely new for you.  Then put it all over the web for your ex boyfriend to find it.  You want him to see you wearing an entirely different look.  Display this new, incredible looking woman to the world.  He will see you and he will recognize that others see you a well, which slowly will work on him.

And that is the key. You want him to think of you as a different woman in a way.  He will know it’s you, but it’s the new you which will awaken his hidden fantasies of being with a new woman.

All of this is about portraying you in a new, beautiful and sexy way.  You want your ex to see you as a re-made, enticing woman.  This will cause within him a clashing of sexual tension, mashing up against his previous view of you

3.  Use Jealousy To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Think You Might Be Sleeping Around

There is something about making your ex jealous that can cause him to want and  desire you more.  That is what you want going on in your ex’s mind.

Now if you are thinking you don’t want your ex boyfriend to worry about you seeing other men because you are afraid he might go chasing after other girls….just know that what I am talking about here is the use of subtle forms of jealousy.

He won’t be sure if you are indeed seeing someone.  But the thought of you being with another man will rifle its way through your ex boyfriend’s mind enough times where it will have the desired effect.

So include a few image shots of you and other men.  Nothing over the top.  Put put it out there for your ex to consume that you are a healthy, wholesome and most lovely lady.

Just getting you ex bf thinking that some other man could be with you in a sexual sense, will make your ex boyfriend’s caveman brain want to be with you badly before anyone can.

4. It’s Time To Show Your Ex Boyfriend Your Face (Believe Me – He Wants To See You)

pretty face

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What were are talking about here is you having a little fun and allowing others to vote on a new Profile Picture you will be using on your Facebook Account or whatever Social Media presence you have. You are putting up a new profile.  Get your followers to vote on your favorite image of you.

Be beautiful in each because rest assured, your ex boyfriend is going to be looking at every pic you put up. Turn the whole thing into something that’s fun.  It is going to help you build value.  Be sure to throw in one naughty looking photo of you because that is the one that will turn on your ex and cause him to think those thoughts you want him lingering on.

5. Sexting Your Ex Boyfriend By Accident (Well, Not Really!)

As we continue our quest of helping you make your ex boyfriend thirsty to have a sexual encounter with you, I want you be reminded of something that is very central and core to a man inner psychology.

As I explained earlier, men love to look at images of women. They enjoy staring at their beautiful faces and lovely curves. So you are going to tap into that inner desire your ex boyfriend has to want to see those things about you.  No matter how mad or angry your ex might be, he is never too upset or put out not to take in a most lovely picture of you.  Sensuous images of you is one of those things that can stop your ex boyfriend right in his tracks.  So use his weakness to your advantage.

Pretend you are getting ready for a party and you are in some stage of undress.  You are trying to figure out what you want to wear.  So while you stand there in near nakedness looking absolutely ravishing (remember: your ex boyfriend is the one seeing this) and holding a skimpy dress in hand, you pretend to text your best friend and image of you, asking for advice on what you should wear.  But in this case, the seductive text is sent directly to your ex boyfriend so that he can get full view of what he is missing out on.

If you play your cards right, he will be at first slightly confused as to why he is getting this text. Then he will realize you sent it by accident and his mind will switch to being instantly turned on by seeing you like this.  Then he will start wondering where are you off to in this sexy dress that you hold in your hand, which all leads to your ex boyfriend wanting and coveting you even more.  You can also send him the “Oops, I am sent this to you by accident”.  It doesn’t matter if he believe you are not.  You just want him to see the pic of you.

6. Divulge Your Secret To Your Ex That You Are Not Wearing Anything Underneath.

posing for your ex

So while I wouldn’t recommend this for your first meet up, later you could choose to tap into your ex boyfriend’s secret desires by revealing something that he would never expect at this stage.

Now, let me make it clear.  The ex attraction process consists of doing things that lead to your ex wanting you badly.  But think of your strategy as a journey.  You don’t want to throw yourself all over your ex boyfriend. Giving up everything, particularly early in the re-connection phase seldom pays long lasting dividends.

But sometimes, using a little shocking sexual arousal tactic can set the table for future interactions.

Imagine you are sitting across the table having some coffee at a quaint little place.  The meet-up is coming to its natural close.  Things went well.  Maybe the talk between you and your ex was a bit nervous, but things seemed to be on track for a future meetup.  So as you are hugging and saying your goodbyes, whisper into his ear that you are not wearing anything under your dress.

Now, he won’t expect this and it will possibly throw him off.  Make another off hand comment that for some reason it just felt more comfortable that way for you.  Let him puzzle over that.  In a way, you are trying to take sex out of the equation, but make not mistake, you are leaving him with this image of you sitting there the entire time without anything on underneath.

Then finish your goodbyes and head out.  Remember, this is not about setting him up to have sex.  It’s about dropping your ex boyfriend some little reminders that you are an unpredictable and alluring woman, one that he perhaps didn’t really know as well as he thought.

7. Create Some Arousal At Your Meet Up With Your Use of New Perfume

Now this may seem like a big step down from the previous suggestion I made regarding creating arousal.  But make no mistake, wearing perfume, particularly wearing new perfume for this occasion is going to create memories you want your ex to be thinking about.

Find a perfume you like and then wear it for your meet up with your ex.  Be sure to give him a hug so he can smell it and some of it can transfer on to him.  Men are creatures of desire and if you are wearing something that smells really good and you look somewhat different, it will seem like to him you are a completely different woman in some respects.

So whatever resentment are negative feelings your ex boyfriend may have had for the old you, is psychologically more difficult to transfer to this newer, somewhat seductive version of you.

8.  Kiss Your Ex Boyfriend and Play Catch

So we are still at the meet-up stage.  You and your ex are still trying to explore just where things might go. It is likely some there may still be some uncertainties.

If you were smart, you avoided talking about the relationship past and forward.  There will always be time for that in later meetings.  So wait until you are about 3/4 way through the meet-up and have reached a high point, then pretend you got an urgent text and you have to leave immediately. So what you do next is get up and quickly kiss him and then leave abruptly.

Psychologically, your ex boyfriend will have little time to process what has happened.  All he knows is that the conversation was moving along well, you were happy and things were getting good, then suddenly you have to leave, but you do something intimate.  You kiss him in a loving and kind gesture.  This will be his last key memory of the encounter.

The reality is you are creating greater demand for your ex boyfriend’s attention.  So by kissing him and departing, guess what that does?  It puts him in chase mode.  You want him to initiate the next encounter.

On the way out tell him you will text him.  Tell your ex you had fun and that “we should do this again!”  Not the ball is in his court.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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9. Let Your Ex Boyfriend Find Your Dirty Little Sexy Story!

So I don’t want you writing anything down that is sleazy or nasty or anything like that.  That could end up being a turn off for your ex.  But one way to build some positive sexual tension, is through some erotic story telling.

So what you can do is write up a story of an encounter you had with him in your  journal.  Make it a journal entry and date it around the time you last had sex with your ex boyfriend.  He will remember it clearly because it represents the last sexual encounter he had with you.  Make the story compelling with some details that he should remember.

Then leave this journal somewhere where he can pick it up and read it.

The idea is that this sexy little memory of a past sexual encounter your ex had with you will be resurrected in his mind and he will turn it over and over again.

It’s all about planting seeds of attraction and if you want your ex to want you badly, then you need to leave him some sexy recollections.

 10. Use Thrill To Turn On Your Ex Boyfriend

There is a concept referred to as misattribution of emotion.

Basically what you want to do is plan to do something with your ex boyfriend that involves some kind of excitement.  It could be a ride of some kind where there is a thrill involved.  It could be a movie where something scary happens.  For that matter, it could be a movie in which there is a hot, steamy sexy scene.

The idea is that when your ex boyfriend experiences or watches these things, he will respond to these emotions. His adrenaline levels will increase and all this will transfer to sexual arousal and his desire to be with you.

Frequently Asked Questions About How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Notice You

1. My ex boyfriend hardly even notices me. When we are around each other he seems to have no physical interest in me.

To be noticed by your ex you need to do more than wear a pretty dress or flutter your eyes.  You need to think in terms of a process which consists of doing multiple things to ramp up his interest.  If you want your ex boyfriend to want you badly, then you can’t show it. Guys like to chase and figure out ways to draw closer.  But you need find ways to shape his thoughts, thinking of you with sex in mind.  It’s not as hard as you may think. You ex bf is already locked and loaded to think about you in erotic ways if you know what buttons to push.

2. I do everything to get his attention. How is it that my ex wants every girl out there but when it comes to me, he has no interest anymore.

If you are talking about creating sexual tension so that he will be respond to you in a more intimate way, then you have to remember that less is more.  There is such a thing as trying too hard.  You would be better off by pulling back and using some more subtle ways to get his attention. It is possible you ex wants you to think he is chasing after all these other women.  Perhaps he needs a reminder that men are chasing after you.

3. I just want my ex boyfriend to get hot for me again.  We always had a good sex life.  Will that help me get him back for good.

No one really can predict just how long a couple will last once they get together after a breakup.  But there are certain success factors that point to good outcomes.  Have you been together a long time?  Was your past history mostly positive?  And how powerful was your sex life with your ex bf?  If it was an exceptionally important part of your relationship, then you have many ways to leverage this connection.

4. Should I date other guys to make my ex desperate for me?

Yes and no.  Using jealousy to jack with your ex boyfriend’s mind can bring him out of his shell.  The less he hears from you, but the more he hears or sees you with others, even if it appears casual, can bring him to his knees.

Guys can’t stand the thought of another man with their ex girlfriend.  Even if the breakup was messy and got ugly, your ex just knows too much about you and what you like and what you want sexually and that can just screw up his head royally.

But if you over play your hand and use jealousy to aggessively, with the wrong type or at the wrong time, you can drive him even further away.

Of course that is not going to happen because if you are reading this article, you are going to be set with a lot of tactics that will turn him on and get him back to thinking of you!

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