By Rachel

So, in  the beginning of the relationship things were wonderful and magical, and you could never imagine a day that he wouldn’t look at you with adoring eyes. Unfortunately, this happens a lot in relationships today.

It’s a hard truth that after you’ve been with someone for a while. Maybe you’ve gotten used to him. Perhaps he doesn’t dazzle you the same way they used to. Personally, I don’t really mind when this happens in relationships… to an extent. To me it just means you’ve entered another level of trust and affection. It means you don’t need to put on a full face of makeup before leaving the house because you know he doesn’t need to see you all made up to love you and be attracted to you. It’s a comfortable companionship and friendship, and the longest lasting and most successful relationships are based on those two things.

But why I added the “to an extent” caveat earlier is because even if the two of you fall into a comfortable companionship, that doesn’t mean that respect, affection, and appreciation should go out the window. But so frequently, it does.

Once you’ve been with each other for a while, it’s not unusual that someone gets taken for granted.

Let me tell you something: Recovery isn’t always about getting an ex back. Sometimes, it’s also about figuring out what you deserve. And, sometimes that means realizing that you deserve better than you’ve been getting. Sometimes, in our Facebook Group Here women make their “I’m finally moving on!” posts:

“He never valued me or the things I did for him.”

“My ex never respected me or the work I did in our relationship.”

“He never acknowledged my worth.”

“I deserve better.”

It’s a pretty common to realize an ex boyfriend that you’ve been putting on a pedestal actually didn’t value you and what you did for them as much as they did in the beginning. It’s empowering to realize that we deserve better that what we’ve been running after.

But why is this such a common problem? And what can we do about it?

Why Men Take Their Girlfriends, Wives, Or Partners For Granted

I hesitate to say this, but I do think it is generally true that men tend to take their female partners for granted more than women tend to take their male partners for granted.

I have a theory about why this is.

Historically, men’s primary job in the family order was to go out into the world and provide. As cavemen, males were the ones to go out and hunt to provide food for their family. As time progressed, men continued to be the ones to go out and work to make money to provide for their family, while the women were left home to tend to the household duties and children – which brings me to women’s expected role. Women have historically been considered to be the more social of the sexes. Their relationships with other people – their husbands, children, and friends, were their primary purpose. Women were responsible for the relationship side of things, while men were responsible for providing.

It’s no wonder, based on this centuries-old social construct that women generally tend to put in more effort into relationships than men do. Even now, when we have broken through most of the “expected roles” with more women than ever before as part of the workforce, and men are doing more stay at home parenting, there is still a certain level of expectation that women will keep the relationship running smoothly.

It is no secret that you have to continue to date and fall in love with your partner everyday. This means two weeks into your relationship or 20 years into your relationship. A little bit of effort goes a long way, but as time goes on, that seems to get forgotten. We get comfortable and begin to feel like we don’t need to try as hard. I’m not saying that a man should cook his wife a five course dinner each Saturday night, although, I’m sure that would be appreciated. I am saying that a little thoughtfulness and acknowledging a partner’s thoughtfulness will go a long way.

And this doesn’t just go for men. Just because this may generally come more naturally for women doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes need the reminder, too.

  • Remember to say thank you.
  • Do small things to show him you’re thinking of him.
  • Tell him what you like about him.

If you haven’t read up on the Five Love Languages, I suggest you do so that you can get an idea of how you tend to express love, and how you receive it. Because, not everyone needs to be loved in the same way.

Here is a quick breakdown of the love languages to get you started:

  1. Quality Time – spending time with your partner doing things together that one or both of you enjoy.
  2. Physical Touch – cuddling, hugging, physical intimacy. Showing love through physicality.
  3. Words of Affirmation – Being told that you’re loved, or having someone tell you how wonderful they think you are and why.
  4. Acts of Service – Having your partner do something you don’t want to do or that needs to be done as a way of showing love
  5. Giving/Receiving Gifts – Pretty self explanatory, but feeling someone’s love for you based on physical gifts or experiences they offer.

So oddly enough, the primary way that I like to receive love is words of affirmation. I love hearing someone gush about how wonderful they think I am. Nothing makes me feel more loved. However, one of the best ways I know how to give love is through gifts and acts of service.

You may find it’s a different mix with different partners. You might need to express your love differently within different relationships.Part of showing someone you care is to put in the effort to learn a new love language to mesh with them. But if you haven’t, I do recommend you look into these 5 love languages. It offers a lot in the way of learning how to communicate with your loved ones. This will be helpful in any relationship you’re in – if you get back with your ex, or you move on to someone new. You can even use it in friendships and in interactions with your family.

So, now that we’ve covered why your ex may have taken you for granted, we are going to discuss…

Is There A Chance Your Ex Will Take You Back?
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How Can I Make Him See My Worth If We’re Already Broken Up?

What’s the best way to make someone realize what they’re missing? Disappear from their life completely so they face the reality of a life without you.

That’s right – No Contact is the first step. Shocker, huh?

Your ex is used to spending time with you on a pretty regular basis. So when a relationship ended it’s likely that he was not fully prepared for the reality of what a life without you would be like. So instead of being readily available the best thing you can do is make him live with the consequences of his actions. Go full No Contact

Think about it – if you were his girlfriend, you offered him a lot. It’s likely that you did things for him that he didn’t even think of on a daily basis. Instead of sharing the duty of washing dishes or walking the dog, he now has to do those by himself.

I’ve mentioned before that men and women handle breakups differently. Women tend to mourn right away, while men tend to not understand the full gravity of the breakup until later on. Taking their partners for granted tends to be a part of that. But as time passes, and you do more and more things alone that the two of you used to do together, it makes sense that a sense of loneliness and regret might set in. I know in all of my breakups, I’ve done a No Contact period, though it was before I found EBR so I didn’t call it that, and it wasn’t to get my ex’s back, but rather to take the time and space to heal. And guess what? Each and every time, I’ve gotten some version of an “I miss you” communication some time shortly after.

So though it may seem counter-intuitive, the best thing you can do it cut off contact and let the time and space work its magic. It’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t just happen. You can’t just sit and wait for him to come crawling back to you. There is still work you have to do. Time and space is absolutely needed, but, if your goal is to get your ex back, there are other things that will help to push the process along.

Using No Contact To Show Him What He’s Lost

If you haven’t taken some time away from your ex to heal and improve, then I have some SHOCKING news for you… You might be REINFORCING his tendency to take you for granted if you try and stay connected with your ex as if nothing happened.

Here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery, it is no secret that you should use distance and time to create a feeling of loss and regret in your ex. You are probably not new to the term No Contact. In fact, I’m betting if you are searching for answers to this problem on the web, we are probably not the only site you’ve landed on. So, I am certain you have probably seen this term already in your endeavors. But I am betting that you haven’t seen No Contact laid out the way our team does No Contact.

Check out the way WE do it HERE before you do ANYTHING else!

During your No Contact period, you should focus on working on improving yourself and your life. Do things that you didn’t have time for when you were in a relationship. Take that pottery class you’d been thinking about signing up for. Now is the time to put that time and energy on yourself. And post that stuff on social media for your ex boyfriend and his sphere of influence to see! Show off the fact that you are doing things you’ve always talked about wanting to do. Showcase the things you know he liked and appreciated about you And definitely show that you are off going out and having fun! I’s important that when he decides to check in on you that he doesn’t get the impression that you have just been wallowing in self-pity since the break up.

No one wants someone who makes one person their entire life. That’s a lot of pressure and it’s not attractive. And, there is truth that people don’t want something easily attainable. But, by creating the space between you and your ex and showing that you are happily living your life, it will automatically make them view you as unattainable.

So, if you combine the concept of time and space and showing off all of your positive improvements on social media, then you’ve mastered the No Contact period. Soon your ex boyfriend should feel your absence and begin missing you if he hasn’t already. Not only is the goal to make him feel like he’s losing you,  you need to emphasize that by making him feel like he’s also missing out on the person you are becoming and the future you are creating.

And you can bring that same tactic into the interactions that you have with your ex boyfriend once you make your first contact. Don’t be too available and answer his texts or calls right away – or sometimes, even at all. When you interact, be sure to show off your positive qualities – especially the things you know he liked about you.

One of the most effective parts of getting an ex boyfriend back is making him regret taking you for granted. And the key to that is using your No Contact period correctly.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

In Conclusion…

So maybe this Buffy quote doesn’t exactly line up with taking things for granted… in a relationship, but the overall sentiments are still the same. Plus, it’s funny:

“You know … you take the killing for granted. And then it’s gone, and you’re like, ‘I wish I’d appreciated it more’ … stopped and smelled the corpses, you know?” – Spike, “Where the Wild Things Are”

The main point is, you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. That’s how it works with losing anything… a job, a friend, or a relationship.

As I mentioned, men tend to take their female partners for granted. They also have a tendency to process breakups differently, not fully understanding the weight of the loss until they’ve been without it for a while.

So what do you do about it?

Implement the magic formula: Time + Space + Change. The time and space that the No Contact period offers will automatically create the natural setting for your ex boyfriend to miss you, simply by forcing him to face the reality of a life without you.

And by making improvements and focusing on yourself over the No Contact period, you accomplish healing – which, honestly, is the most important part of the Ex Recovery process. No one wants to be miserable forever. And by indirectly reminding your ex boyfriend of your positive qualities, that, in conjunction with the reality of not having you anymore, is the perfect recipe to get him back into your arms.

The appropriate next question should be…

“Will No Contact alone make him regret taking me for granted AND come back?”

and the answer is… no!

What?

I know right?

That’s frustrating, I know. But the truth is yeah it will probably make him regret it, since you’ve put effort into creating a life that will peak his interest. However, if you want him to come back or not go right back to taking you for granted… you have to be able to create a functional back and forth style of communication. And, if you want to do that in a way that has been PROVEN to work, you should follow it up with the steps laid out in Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. Or, if you aren’t quite sure yet about diving headfirst into a program that works (check out these EBR Success Stories), you should read this article, “What To Do After No Contact.

Alright, so now that you know how to make your ex regret taking you for granted and you have the resources to know what to do AFTER No Contact, let’s talk about YOUR breakup in particular. I mean, we have written articles on almost every situation we have ever come across and, for the most part, every person that comes here thinks that they are an exception to the rules or perhaps that we haven’t touch on a specific situation that they are dealing with already.  And you know what, even though we have dealt with a LOT of situations, you may have something unique that we haven’t covered. And we don’t want to leave you in that situation. We want to help! So, In the comments below, tell me about your breakup and we’ll help teach you how to make him know your worth and realize what he’s lost.

I want to know:

  1. The details of your breakup. Exactly HOW did he take you for granted.
  2. What you’ve done since the breakup.
  3. And what actions you are going to take after reading this article.

46 thoughts on “How to Make Him Regret Taking You for Granted”

  1. Julia

    September 19, 2018 at 8:26 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I were together almost a year and a half. He recently fell into a bout of depression and tried to break things off with me which was difficult because we live with each other. I felt as though it was the depression pushing me away. Not him because of how utterly gutted and tearful he was to even suggest the idea. He said that I don’t deserve any of this and he wants to see me happy. Anyway. After a month of trying to support him and help him through this struggle he tearfully told me the other day he could no longer be in a relationship. I am now staying with a friend to give him space to work on himself. I know deep down he doesn’t want this but I think he’s just so lost. Before this we were quite happy, always going on adventures, loving each other and life. He unfortunately is in a high pressure job and struggles with perfectionism and also has had some personal setbacks. When I felt as though I was being taken for granted I mostly attributed it to him being tired (would only sleep 4 hours a night), and looking back I think he was in the early stages of depression. I just wanted to help. I’m contemplating elements of the No Contact Rule if only for his well being but I don’t want to overdo it. Any thoughts or ideas? I can’t necessarily fault him if he wasn’t really himself- or can I? I’m so confused.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 20, 2018 at 12:55 am

      Hi Julia!

      My best advice is have an ex recovery plan. Read up on everything about NC. I have loads of information about it and how you might use it and how it can help you and your ex in multiple ways. Check out my 247 page book, “The No Contact Rule Book” if you want to dive just into that topic. Also my 485 page core Ebook (Pro) is a great resources. All on the home page!

  2. Emily

    September 15, 2018 at 9:03 am

    Ok this is a complicated one. My ex stopped wanting to spend much time with me over the summer and was taking it for granted that if be around. I found out I was pregnant and initially, he was happy. Then my ex broke up with me because he said her didn’t love me. I’ve been suffering from acute anxiety for 2 years over a separate issue, and it just tipped me over the edge. I tried to commit suicide, primarily because of the anxiety. I spent 2 days in hospital. Initially, my ex wanted to check up on me and attend appts but I said no because I wasn’t in a great place. I begged as well. I sent him a message over a week ago apologising for my reaction and got a positive “That’s ok don’t apologise response” I’m on day 6 NC. Is there any hope?
    Further, his birthday comes up

  3. Emily

    September 9, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    Hi,
    i broke up with my ex boyfriend two days ago because he was taking me for granted and i couldn’t take his cr** anymore. he is a good guy but he just dont care about making time for me asking me about how my days went. he talks to mey everyday just to ask how am i and then nothing. i kept warning him and explaining to him that im not okay with it and that if he really cared he needs to change the way he is treating me. lately he was in a different city with his family for a whole week. i took the road to see him in the weekend. and the day he came back he didnt even think on asking to see me . actually he said that hell see me for just 10 min cause he has a football match to play with his friends . two days after that i broke up with him and went full NC

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 9, 2018 at 6:41 pm

      Hi Emily!

      There are a lot of good guys out there that just don’t always understand how to please their girl. So as you go thru NC, be sure to follow along with how I teach it in my program. My eBooks, podcasts, videos get into this and much more.

  4. Josephine

    September 8, 2018 at 6:51 pm

    Hey its been 4 days.. i caught my boyfriend having holiday with another girl through instagram.. he told me he was on a business trip.. and i confront him with all the proof and i asked him to be honest with me.. i message the girl and ask the girl is he with my bf.. i only ask my boyfriend to proof me if im wrong but he cant do it .. and my boyfriend call me and get angry saying im crazy and not trusting.. and he text i cant do this with u anymore.. im ashamed of u.. i give everything i only want u to trust me.. im so tired of u… and ever since i never contact .. i considered myself in a no contact period.. now im really hurt and crying.. im afraid that he wud just be with this girl.. pr maybe he never love me.. what should i do

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 9, 2018 at 5:14 am

      Hi Josephine!

      I know rejection of this kind hurts. He was wrong what he did and your trust has been betrayed. Using no contact is the right move, but be sure you understand how it fully works and what you do afterwords. That is what my website is about. Go to my home page to check out some of my resources.

  5. Opal

    July 27, 2018 at 10:18 pm

    He wouldn’t commit to anyone really and now some skanky unemployed young chick is pregnant and sucked him in. So after telling him what a schmuck he is for weeks (and listening to how much he hates her but hanging out with her still) now it’s no contact. I truly don’t believe he can live without me. I was a doormat too long but now he’ll see. I just hope I’m over it when he realizes. He will and should regret my magic for the rest of his life. Especially now that his life is screwed.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 28, 2018 at 4:55 am

      Wise choice Opal to employ no contact. Keep reading about how it works and how you can make the most of the process. I have ebooks and resources throughout this website that can help you.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 28, 2018 at 4:55 am

      Wise choice Opal to employ no contact. Keep reading about how it works and how you can make the most of the process. I have ebooks and resources throughout this website that can help you.

  6. Chelsea

    March 4, 2018 at 10:56 pm

    He was definitely taken aback and seemed like he was processing things. He asked if that meant we would only talk to each other in groups and I said I would have other people to talk to, so not even then. It was mainly to protect me from him stringing me along without realizing it.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2018 at 10:43 am

      That’s good.. The only way that he can realize what you had with each other is what’s important is if he doesn’t get to experience it anymore..

  7. Monique

    March 3, 2018 at 9:58 pm

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me 7 months ago because he said that i took him for granted and my family didn’t like him. Since then, we have been on and off but I’ve still acted like his girlfriend. We have been intimate, we hangout from time to time, etc. HOWEVER, he acts nice only when he wants to and he takes everything i do for granted. He ignores me whenever he wants to, puts me on the back burner, isn’t there when i need him, etc. sometimes he will go days without speaking to me. And i have bought him things, payed for things for him, etc. and he barely shows appreciation. I tell him how i feel but he just disregards me. I don’t know what else to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 7, 2018 at 1:49 pm

      Hi Monique,
      If by intimate you mean sleeping with him. Stop it.. Of you’re not officially together, that means you’re friends with benefits..are you going to do the nc rule?

  8. Chelsea

    February 25, 2018 at 6:53 pm

    My ex broke up with me two years ago and I went through no contact and wave theory and all that. I do believe that the comfort level we reached towards the end of our relationship worried him to think that maybe he didn’t like me as much as he thought. That’s why this idea of him “taking me for granted” really caught my eye. Not only do I think that happened at the end of our relationship, but I think that happened post breakup. Immediately after the breakup, he acted as though nothing had happened and was buddy buddy with me. I went back and forth wondering if he was interested again or not. I finally confronted him about it a few months ago and told him we either do something about it or don’t talk anymore–honestly, I was tired of feeling like he forgot that we had dated and taking our relationship for granted. So we haven’t talked for a few months now and I miss him more than ever. Is there any way to make him recognize how our comfort level with each other is the thing that made our relationship so strong?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 1:47 pm

      Hi Chelsea,

      What did he say when you confronted him?

  9. Jess McMillan

    February 15, 2018 at 12:19 am

    He’s Brazilian, I’m Australian. I wouldn’t say we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but he made me feel wanted and desired. It was my first serious head-over-heels. I tried to support him when he was feeling homesick and tired. But along the way I got clingy and he distanced himself. I was terrified of losing something good and I did. We met late September and parted ways in October 2017 though we ‘stayed in contact’ through texting. He avoided meeting in person but he told me he wanted to be friends. I agreed at first but later said said ‘nope’ because that’s not how I feel. He’s not in the same place as me, ready for a relationship.

    After a good deal of moping I signed up for volunteering, bought some self help books and started yoga. I unfriended/unfollowed him on social in January though he still follows me. I’ve dated around and even like one or two guys who I’ve seen.

    I see us as friendly, but not friends. I don’t quite think he gets this. Every time I try to implement NC he’s reached out after 2/3 weeks. I respond because he’s not a horrible person. Sometime’s he’s needed help with something important. Two weeks ago we met in person. I told him how I feel about being friends aka I won’t do it because it’s not fair. I thought that was the end of it. Oddly after that he’s liked a lot of my posts on Instagram (they were good shots though).

    Two days ago he reached out again. I was confused and asked him outright why he was texting. He said to know how I was doing. I told him I’m more than a text message on a phone and that endless texting isn’t for me. That’s my standard. If you’re going to text me, at least arrange a time to meet up. I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole again. I’m not going to reach out to him (though I miss him sometimes) and just carry on.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 18, 2018 at 11:21 pm

      Hi Jess,

      Don’t respond because no matter what you say to him, if you keep responding then he will keep thinking you’re friends.

  10. Mary

    January 11, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    I’m considering me and my bf broke up because he’s been ignoring me the last couple of days. On Monday I confronted him about not having his phone on him during the weekend and he got upset and seemed to turn the situation around and make it seem like I was the bad guy. He told me to be mad if I want and that’s the last I heard from him. I wasn’t mad to begin with just concerned and worried and since then I haven’t heard from him. I tried contacting him eveyday since then but I still haven’t heard from him. I’m going to try and not contact him moving forward. It’s just hard going from talking to someone everyday to not at all. He hasn’t blocked me on anything and he hasn’t taken our pics down so idk what to do or make out of this situation. I’m so confused by it all and don’t know what to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 14, 2018 at 8:14 pm

  11. Lissa

    January 11, 2018 at 4:31 am

    Over Christmas, my older, successful man (I’m 40, he’s 57), told me he loved me and that I was the 1st woman since his ex wife (15yrs ago), and that he really wanted things to work out for us. Then he left on a 3 week vacation and disappeared. No response.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 11, 2018 at 7:28 pm

  12. Dejahvu Henry

    January 10, 2018 at 12:36 am

    Hi!
    Me and my boyfriend were together for about a year and we broke up 2 months ago. In the beginning of our break up I gnatted and begged to get back together and we eneded up hanging out a few times before he told me he doesn’t want to work things out, after that I started no contact and as of today I have not contacted him in any way shape or form for 30 days. On the 29th day of no contact however I received a text from him saying that he misses me so much and that this break up is really hard for him because I was his queen and his vision of a wife and mother to his future kids but then at the end he added that we just won’t work out and eventually I will see why, he also said he can’t follow me on Instagram anymore because it is too hard for him (I don’t follow him but he continued to follow me). I haven’t responded because I am scared I will do or say the wrong thing, but my no contact period Is technically over…I’m just confused because even after he sent that text he hasn’t unfollowed me on Instagram and still continues to look and like my post….I am confused on how my approach to this situation should be.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 11, 2018 at 4:59 pm

      Hi Dejahvu Henry,

      That’s good that you didn’t reply right away.. It looks like you are active in posting.. Continue that and improving yourself while slowly building rapport. You could do an indifferent reply to that and to start a convo at the same time for your initial text.. Like,
      “awww.. I’m touched! I understand and thank you for everything too! Been very busy lately (use your supposed topic for your initial text)

  13. Eli

    January 8, 2018 at 6:32 am

    My ex boyfriend and I have been in a roller coaster realtionship for two years. As of 3 weeks ago we got in a discussion reguarding New Years plan, I said I’ll talk to you later because I was getting anxious. The next day he was in town and no word from him, haven’t heard from him since and he has blocked me in all social media and has also deleted some of our old photos of when we 1st fell in Love i which he never deleted when we’d break up before. How do I move on without answers etc..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2018 at 10:02 pm

  14. Eva

    January 6, 2018 at 12:51 pm

    My ex boyfriend clearly takes me for granted and doesn’t value me. Beside the fact we have a long distance we both have add.
    We had kind of a no contact fact we both needed just a bit space and I got a better version of myself. I was less nagging more k and mire calm. It qorked. He put in effort he contacted me we had better talks. Yet we again fall back in ild pafterns where he clearly disrespects me by putti g me down telling he is bot ibterested ib me and stuff like that. He sais that because he is jealous and controlling. Mostly I manage to end the call in a calm way and tell him we can talk when we are better . He apologised shortly after and I feel slight changes in his behaviour. But as soon as we have more contact and if it’s about commitment he get in old patterns.

    What should I Do? How can I get more valued? I don’t want to be treated like that and I am tired of walking in eggshells. Heck I even start to ask myself if he is the right person?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2018 at 5:26 pm

      You need to stick to the routine you started in nc and to invest more time in it than in him..

  15. Nat

    January 5, 2018 at 1:33 pm

    My ex and I dated for two years and lived together for 14 months. We had been dealing with some stuff but were trying to work things out until one day he broke up with me with just a letter and left the apartment before I got home. I flew to see my family since I didn’t know a lot of people in the city. Two months have passed and he continues to try to hurt me. He also tells me he wants me out of his life forever but asks me if I ever cheated and if I still keep all our pictures.

    At this point all I am trying to do is get my belongings sent somewhere else since I am out of the country but he says he is no rush to take them out. I personally still love him but understand I need to move on and the sooner I get my stuff the easier it will be for me to block him and move on.

    I would just like to know why he continues to be mean when I am being civil and I wonder if I am wrong for still loving someone who hurt me so much. Thanks !

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 7, 2018 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Nat,

      We can’t know for sure why he’s still mean.. It can be because he thinks you did something wrong, or he thinks you’re still hoping by not finalizing to get all of your things, or that can be just his expression of authority.. It’s normal that you still love him but it’s good that you’re moving on

  16. TT

    January 4, 2018 at 3:56 pm

    January 4th, 2018 10:03 am
    My ex and I have been together for a year then we broke up because I know he was on date with another girl younger than him 10 years old (19yrs) while we were a part by argument. Although he and I been for a year but we just kiss, cuddle, and do “BJ” for both nothing really called make out.He sent video of him and her when I worked at night and texted me rude words. I cried because i trusted him never replace me by anyone. after a year he never show me to his friend or any person around him, i was mad and block his social media but then i unblock it. we had argument at the night he sent me the video without her knowledge about sending to me. I saw her picture on his screen phone and i understand what i tried for our relationship is nonsense for him( because he was disappear on valentines and my birthday). he said: “ you always get mad and keep silence then. i can’t handle you.we can try again. if you don’t change yourself, i will be back to that girl.” stupidly, i accepted try again because i loved him and i think i just did that because i was ignore him. then, the day after, he asked me go out at night to the hotel after work. i missed him because we didn’t talk for two months. at that night, he tried push me to do sex for real, but i think of why he with new girl and send video to me. i push him back and he really angry and didn’t want to look at my eyes. i went home with a sorrow and wonder why im so weakness. i also know while we start to try back again he still contact with that girl every sunday night at same place we met before. i texted him after to let him know my feeling and what he did was rude to me. he replied me that Im fucking stupid and fuck my school, my dream. He texted me that He was free so he can sleep with anygirl he wants. then, I stop texted him. I feel that it’s time for silence is better than his conversation in messages. after a week he sent me a picture he drink wine at bar and some girls, i had no answer. he still scoffed at me by rude words. i advised him should go home and don’t drink much. he still angry. he went home at night and texted me that im not the girl he wants, that girl she couldn’t sleep last night and wait until he was ok to reach home. he wanted to break up because i cannot be a girl he wants. (i didn’t have sex with him and he was mad). i let him decided because i just have school, work and him. i told him i never been with another guy at 12 am in car as he did. he still keep rude in his words and done. i really sad and i blocked his phone number and his social media. we have no contact for a month , then he found another app i use for my parents, he sent me a message say hi bla bla. i ignored them because i think he would send me a hurt message again. then he sent me 3 days after, i replied him as good morning how was everything? he texted he want to make me jealous about young girl and he couldn’t have another relationship because of me. i don’t trust him because he used girls as his game and he offended my honor. but he again want me back and fix everything but his sound seems to blame false to me. New year coming and his birthday on 1/1, he invited me to go the restaurant we met a year ago, i prepared cake, candle, gift for him. he appreciated it, then he booked a room we just sleep and cuddle over night. in the morning, he told me what he done to make young girl trusted him, i know they still contact untill now. he told me she is just his sister. i can’t accept he brought a girl while we are apart (her picture on his screen phone) for sister just 2 months. and she doesn’t know about me. i feel be played by his game again. i was mad and cried. he said he and her just friend. but he said her mother prepare a gift a him. I told him play the game is so far and i cannot take it back. i went home alone and he didn’t check me up if im ok because he saw I got serious coughs at night. at the wnd of that day, i send him a message that we should a part for time because i don’t feel safe from him and his relationship, i worked more for this relationship and i just received sadness and rude from him. and if you can, please step out of my life. TT is died since today. he didn’t reply until the following day, he sent me 2 phrases: Life with you is too hard. Ok let stay in your life and i will not bother you anymore.
    after a year, what i did and hope for him is exchanged by 2 conclusions and I didn’t cry.
    i want to know why this guy so complicated and what should i do?
    he used to ask me for marriage and live together but i refused because i cannot imagine if oneday he bring another in fron of me and say rude to me again. I need advises please.
    TT.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 11:54 pm

      Hi,

      There are really people who will use us because they can see we allow them.. It doesn’t matter what kind of person he is because you will move on from him.

  17. Ashley

    January 4, 2018 at 3:19 pm

    My boyfriend stopped responding to my text and calls 3 days ago. On day 2 he said he needed time and space. Day 3 he called at 1am I didn’t answer so he texted me saying he is a piece of shit and he needs me in his life. I responded the next day inviting him to a movie premiere we went to the movies tonight and I dropped him off at home. I think he takes me for granted because he always places the blame on me when we fight or have conflicts and he doesn’t take ownership of his role. I’m unsure what my actions should be since I went to the movies with him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 10:37 pm

      Hi Ashley,

      but did you ask him about your relationship status?

  18. Angie

    January 4, 2018 at 2:48 pm

    Why my post not showing

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 11:12 pm

      Hi Angie,

      this is the only comment I can see in this email.. Have you used other email addresses?

  19. Susanna

    January 3, 2018 at 9:37 pm

    My ex and I broke up 12 days ago. I was crying a lot during the breakup, and that evening he sent me many texts and called me and left me a voicemail, saying he wants to know if I’m okay and that he is sad too. All of which I ignored. Since then, Christmas and New Year’s has passed, and he has not attempted to contact me back or watched any of my Snapchat stories which he used to do. How did my ignoring him make him feel? Has he given up on me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 9:38 pm

      Hi Susanna,
      he’s probably just respecting your space.. have you been active in improving yourself and in doing posts that doesn’t disappear after 24 hours?

  20. Renee

    January 1, 2018 at 7:23 pm

    I’m lost , I’ve done NC ex text me soon as I finished we small talked til I started using the text methods on him had him engaged initiating convo even talk to him on the phone once good convo cut it real short he even planned on hang out til the time came he was sick I knew from speaking to him the day before , day came I texted him hope your feeling better nothing no reply i was lost I didn’t send nothing else 2 days went past no hear frm I was confused I text him a happy new year he replied with in a few a wished me the same with love and Health and he wasn’t feeling well I kinda felt like he was telling me somthing in that text but I said thank you get better no reply wat do I do seem like we came far to nothing

    If ur wondering we broke up bout a month ago dating for four mons I slipped up and lied to him about something petty told him the truth but haven’t move on from it help plz

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 4, 2018 at 6:41 pm

      sorry Renee, I haven’t reached your comment yet.. Restart nc.. stick to at least 30 days.. don’t answer if he texts you anything unless it’s an emergency or if he says he wants to get back with you.. not even if he’s angry.. focus again in improving yourself and in posting.. do posts that don’t disappear after 24 hours.

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