What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back

Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend

It can really hurt when an ex boyfriend (who you still have feelings for) seemingly moves on to another girl. For many women out there they lose all hope of getting their ex back. Others will get angry and immediately look to start or cause a fight. Rarely will you ever come across one that does the smartest thing, stack the odds in her favor! That is really what this page is all about, how to get your ex boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend by stacking the odds in your favor.

If you haven’t already read my epic article on how to get your ex boyfriend back I suggest you drop everything for the next 30 minutes (yes 30 minutes) and go read it.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Remember The Most Important Thing

Before you take any major steps to getting your ex boyfriend back it is important that you implement the No Contact Rule. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into that. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.

If you don’t have the patience to read that entire page let me sum up some of the most important points for you.

No Contact Rule Main Points

  • No contact what-so-ever for 30 days (1 full month.)
  • This means no texting, calling, emailing, letters, facebook stalking or Googling.
  • During your 30 day freeze out make sure you improve yourself both mentally and physically.

You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing and you are going to want to contact your ex very badly (and you are definitely not going to have many good things to say.)

How Did He Get His New Girlfriend?

New Girlfriend

(Disclaimer: I promised myself that I was going to use this page to legitimately help people. So, I feel that this section is important. While this may not be a section about how to get him back it is a section that is something I added in to prevent you from making a big mistake, going after a guy that will only hurt you very deeply again.)

Believe it or not but how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline three situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that you should be trying to get back and one of the situations is going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back. Let’s begin.

Situation 1– You broke up with your ex, realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. If you are in this situation then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex boyfriend back.

Situation 2– He broke up with you and later got a new girlfriend. Again, this is a really common situation and you are free to go ahead and try to get him back.

Situation 3- He left you for another girl. He was either cheating or was in love with someone else. Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here, this guy is not someone that you should want to get back with. Sure, you can try to get him back but he needs to prove to you that he is trustworthy.

4 Truths To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back With A New Girlfriend

truth

This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Let’s explore!

Truth 1: Not contacting your ex is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong. Getting mad, breaking down and texting your ex a hateful message about his new girlfriend isn’t going to help your ultimate goal is it? Instead, be cool and don’t worry, every dog has it’s day.

Truth 2: It’s not always easy dating someone new. Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is uncomfortable in his new relationship. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step..

Truth 3: Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. Lucky for you rebound relationships don’t last forever. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships are bound to fail. So, the odds are in your favor just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. Remember, if you freak out you are going to make a lot of mistakes and mistakes aren’t going to help get you two back together.

Truth 4: It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things (like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup) he will remember all the good things. This can definitely work in your favor.

How To Cope

coping

It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else. I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Remember, just because he is dating someone new doesn’t mean your chances are gone completely. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you.

Keep The Focus On You- Try your best not to obsess over his situation. You can’t control what he does but you can control what you do. Go out and have fun. Make new friends. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself.

It’s Not Your Fault- Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did or something that they could not provide. Dating isn’t always black and white like that. Whatever happens, make sure you don’t let an ex boyfriends actions affect how you feel.

Accept That There Will Be Pain- You are not a robot. You can’t just turn off your feelings. It’s ok to feel pain over the situation but once that pain starts creeping into your everyday life and effecting how you live then you have problems.

Beware Of The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome- This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page. Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back once they see him with someone new. If you find that you are in this situation be very careful about proceeding to get him back. You may need to go back and do some serious searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.

Resist Any Comparisons- It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new (hopefully temporary) girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all.

Are There Any Actions You Can Take To Help Your Cause?

actions to take

So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze. Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control. I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use. However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

(Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.)

Watch For Trouble Signs- No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Each one has it’s ups and downs. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you.

Initiate Contact Via Text Message- Test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.

Be Very Nice To Him And His New Girlfriend- If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it.

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

3,652 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. Audrina M

    January 20, 2018 at 4:56 pm

    Thank you Amor for replying back, I will follow your advice on how to look when I see his mother. The thing that is eating me alive is how quickly he moved onto this other girl. I know our last month of the relationship was ugly but it shouldn’t justify our entire 3 years together. For him to be with this girl either immediately or within a month of the break up which is when he started school near his home and 4-5 months later he’s still with her. Would you even consider that a rebound anymore? A friend of mine told me that she resembles me (though I don’t see it at all). I’m upset he lied to me assuring me there’s no one else, he cares to focus on bettering himself and school, yet there she is. A while back we talked about what would happened if he ever were to break up he said I’m like his best friend I know so much about him that we have history together he wouldn’t want me out of his life. Yet he did. No way to contact him now since he still has me blocked on all platforms and he returned Sprint the phone he had on my plan 2 weeks ago therefore recycling the number as well. Last message I sent to him was me being upset he still didn’t return my things I’ve been patiently and politely asking for, saying I don’t even know what type of person he is anymore but he’s not one I want to associate with if he’s being so cold and he said “cool, don’t try to contact me again” then blocked me again and removed himself from my phone plan few days later. See, what is your intake on this?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2018 at 7:09 am

      You’re welcome! It looks like she’s a grass is greener for him..

  2. Audrina M

    January 18, 2018 at 2:20 am

    Hi Amor & Team,

    My ex boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up about 5 months ago, he blocked me off everything, reason why he broke up with me was because of distance (he didn’t have a car anymore), he wanted to concentrate on school and wasn’t looking to get a girlfriend or anything like that. The break up was extremely ugly. I notice on social media a week afterwards he posted someone’s initials with a heart next to it which I thought he did purposely for me to see but fast forward to now about to be 5 months later and I thought I have moved on, I found out he’s got a new girlfriend around the time we broke up. In the photos they look happy. The first photo date goes far back a month after which at that time we were in the texting phase (which he was flirty) before he randomly blocked me again. Since then, no word. After finding out the break up excuse was a lie and he had someone ready for when he dropped me, it opened up the same wound and I feel extremely hurt that he lied to me. When I think back about the end, everything was adding up and he confused me by acting as if no one else was in the picture. I’m also meeting his mother for lunch this Sunday since she wants to catch up and give me my things back that he refuses to meet me to do. I feel I’m going to cry and I have no control over my emotions anymore. And it hurts that despite all this, I still care for him. I can’t get how he can quickly move on.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 19, 2018 at 4:48 pm

      You can’t fully control what you feel but you can do that with your thoughts.. So, think of the meet with his mom as your opportunity to show through your actions and how you look that you’re doing great and way better than before and that you’re fine.. Because she will probably share what she thought of you and how you looked to her son. So, in that way at least you had your sweet revenge

  3. Tasha Sherman

    January 2, 2018 at 4:10 pm

    Ok so I’ve known my ex for 5 years we dated for 4 1/2 this year after our break up in Oct 2016 we were talking and started getting serious in Sept 2017 mind you we were talking prior to this too and plus we have a son together. We were doing very good I mean very good we were taking family trips together together most of the time with out kids. I have 2 other kids and he has 1 and then we have one together. Well in Oct 2017 we went to six flags everything was fine. November we were still talking I’m still over there a lot thanksgiving he spent with my family and I spent it with his as well. The week after thanksgiving he went out of town that Friday we were suppose to hang out something felt off and I found out this girl he use to talk to way before we started talking was in Dallas as well. I put two as two together and asked him and he took her to Dallas as well. That day I asked him what he wanted to do he said he wasn’t going to talk to her anymore and he wanted to be with me. He kept apologizing and a few days later he met back up with her again after that he promised he wasmy going to talk to her and said again he wanted to be with me that day we ended up going to Austin and he was frustrated with helping my sister move he said he wanted to do what he wants to do and I was forcing him to be in a relationship I left it only and we went back home not even a few hrs I see she posted JC on her page which is his initials after that she post pics of them ever since that she’s been posting their pics. A few weeks ago he calls me and out of the blue he tells me I don’t even know if I’m going to be with this girl actually I know I’m not. But I thought to myself why say that when yours pursuing this girl everyday he is 32 and now all of a sudden he is never there anymore for our son his mom has been watching him. Then on my birthday on new years he says happy birthday and have a happy New Year. I’ll always love you, you know that. I said I know happy New Year and thank you. Then I say but please just think about what you are doing and you know I’ll always have feelings for you as well. He reply back with o do everyday trust…
    What do I do I want him back so bad and just how everything happened so fast like very fast and him confusing me by his words and his actions not matching. My heart and gut feeling says to hold on but I feel so stupid and taken for granted and advantage of. We talk from time to time but not really I’ve seen him once since the Austin trip in person besides on messenger which he will call and then request a video chat. What do I do and has he really moved on since he’s ignoring me more for this girl?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 6:46 pm

  4. Jen

    December 30, 2017 at 8:31 pm

    I was with my ex on and off for 6 years. In the first year of our relationship he cheated and we ended our relationship. After a few months he contacted me and we tried to work things out. Things were great for just over a year but ultimately I wasn’t able to let go of his previous infidelity and we’d had a big argument and he left. We split up for nearly 9 months (we had no contact in this time and he’d been seeing someone else) until I contacted him to see how he was and we got back together again. This time we became engaged and he was living with me and my son (from a previous relationship). We were together this time for a year and a half and then had a big fight. Seemed significant at the time but ridiculous now. He did his disappearing act again and about a month later he contacted me begging to come home. This time I wouldn’t let him come back . I wanted him to make changes to his behaviour and I wasn’t ready to repeat our historical pattern. We’ve been apart for a year and a half but have remained in contact with each other. Two months ago he told me he was moving to a new town for a new job and how he needed a change. He said me and my son played heavy on his mind before making his decision but that he felt I had given up on him so he decided to go. This made me start to question my resistance on letting him back in my life and I started to think about him constantly. I recently discovered through social media that he’s seeing someone new and I’m heartbroken all over again because he’s moving on without me. For the most part we always had a great relationship. We grew stronger after getting over the initial cheating and we were both generally happy together. My son and I both miss him terribly and I’d like to see if he feels we have something worth saving but don’t know if I should try contacting him or let him go in case he’s happier in his new relationship. Feeling totally confused.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 10:49 pm

      Hi Jen,

      For me, you should move on.

  5. Gabby

    December 27, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    Hello,

    Hopefully i can get some help. I left my boyfriend(whom is my son’s father as well) roughly two years ago. throughout the two years we had contact with each other because of my son but i tried to keep conversation between us as minimal as possible. I left him because we were financially unstable, he was unemployed for several months, and he cheated. With a newborn and being financially responsible for two people took a toll on me, not to mention i was already down because of the cheating. i took the past two years to 1.) force him to make a change since he didn’t have his family, 2.) to heal myself and come to terms with everything. Throughout the two years he tried to constant;y get back wiht me, but i just couldn’t, i loved him but was still hurt about everthing that happened. Now i have changed as a woman and i forgave him for everything that has happened, i just needed to do it for my well being.But now i told him i wanted toget back with him, to try and work things out for our sons sake and because i simply love him. but now he’s in a relationship and has been dating this person for about 7 months. im so hurt and down about all this. i want him back and quite simply don’t know what to do. Hopefully someone can help me out here 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2017 at 5:11 pm

  6. Ashley

    December 26, 2017 at 3:14 am

    My ex and I have known each other for 5 years. We were never really serious, just on and off but have Always had a strong connection. Over the last couple of years we started becoming closer but I ended up in a serious relationship that led to an engagement.
    We never stopped talking, we always stayed friends and our chemistry has always been so strong. I ended up breaking off my engagement and we continued to see each other. We were not exclusive per se but it would have been the case if I had not started seeing my ex fiancé again. My (on and off boyfriend) found out and completely cut me off. We have never went more than 2 weeks of not speaking (even while I was engaged) anyway- he stopped talking to me for 5 months. I would reach out and he’d never respond up until about a month ago I asked him how he was and he finally responded that he was well and then never responded when I told him how I was since he proceeded to ask how I was. I left him alone for a couple of weeks and started to accept It wasn’t going back to how it used to. He always came back.
    Then randomly one night he messages me saying he still hopes I’m alright and happy. But that was the end of it. I got all worked up and started messaging him. (No response) then a week later I messaged him and he responded to me and we started friendly chatting that turned into sexual or course. I kept trying to see him but he kept backing out and then finally told me he recently started seeing someone and he didn’t want to fuck it up because he actually likes her. He thought we could be friends but we’re so attracted to each other that we’d end up sleeping together and he wants to see where this new relationship goes. I told him I wish him the best of luck and then the next day he asked to meet him if I wanted to talk. We FaceTimed for two hours and I couldn’t take it anymore I had to hang up. He texted me saying he thinks he has to block me because of temptation. He didn’t block me but I left It as I wish him the best in his new relationship. We went from not talking to him responding to my messages but he said all he can give me right now is friendship and that I had no problem breaking the news that I was engaged to him and he tried to understand and accept it.
    I love him so much and want him back. After he told me he was seeing someone he kept messaging me trying to explain it and then was open to meeting. What can I do? We have such an amazing connection. He said he’s been seeing this girl for two months….. we’ve had something for 5 years and it wasn’t ever serious until the last two. Help me!!! Should I just leave him alone or still text him so he doesn’t forget me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 27, 2017 at 10:16 pm

      Hi Ashley,

      Check this one:
      Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

  7. Jessica

    December 25, 2017 at 2:21 pm

    Hi,
    So I ended things with my boyfriend of 3 years last month. I recently found that he was dating someone new through his social media although we’ve only been broken up a month. What made it worst was when I found it out it was two days before our would have been 4 year anniversary. The girl he is dating is an old friend that got in touch with him through social media during our relationship. I got really upset and got into a heated argument with him about the situation. In the argument he told me that he wasn’t talking to her during our relationship but started talking to her afterwards. I said some mean things in the argument and he ended up blocking my number. I feel really bad and only said it because I was hurt, wanted him back and surprised he moved on so fast. He says she treats him better than I did. He ended up blocking my number. I know I can still get in contact with him but should I apologize first and then start no contact or should I just start no contact. Do I have a chance or should I let this go. PLS HELP

  8. Mary

    December 14, 2017 at 7:00 am

    I’ve been meeting my ex boyfriend on and off, even when I was in a 4 year relationship with another person, and him with his still ongoing girlfriend of 3 years. This is by the far the longest that we’ve keep in contact and meet almost at least twice every month since this year May. I’ve broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years. We have so many closures, at least 10 I think. The most recent one in october, he said he would gladly help me out with moving on. We always want to end whatever we are having but we’ll always end up meeting again. I’ve tried the no contact rule, but he’s the one that has been texting me first especially recently. I’m not sure what he wants since he dont seem like he would leave his current gf. We do hook up when we meet but I’m not sure if lust is what he wants from me cause his sex life with his gf is surprisingly great? HELP I’M SO CONFUSED????????????? I want him back, his actions seemed like he wants me too but i don’t know?????

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2017 at 4:02 pm

      HI Mary,

      yup, it’s sex.. It doesn’t matter if he has a good sex life or not with his gf.. you’re still giving it to him without commitment. So, why would he end something he’s getting without giving something in return?

  9. Nicole

    December 12, 2017 at 3:07 am

    My ex and I were together for 5 months. Everything was perfect…we had met each other’s families, talked about our future, never even had a fight, etc. I always had his phone and he was never bothered by it until one night he kept hiding it from me. I caught a glimpse and saw a girls name. When I asked him about it he said it was a girl he worked with and I had nothing to worry about. I believed him. A few days later he started acting really distant and I asked him if everything was ok and he said he wanted a break and when I asked him if it was so he could talk to that girl he just said no we just needed time apart…the next night I asked him about the girl again and he admitted yes they had been talking and I asked if he wanted to be with her now and he said yes. One week later he’s in a relationship with a completely different girl..not even the girl he left me for. He’s 29 and this girl is only 20 and they had only talked for a few days before changing their relationship status on FB! We are still friends on all social media and he still watches my Snap stories. My gut tells me that we were getting too serious and he freaked out…but who knows. I plan on doing the NC (it’s almost been 2 weeks), but I’m just wondering if it’s even worth the fight. I do still love him, but I don’t know if I’m blinded by that and won’t accept that he’s just not the guy I thought he was…I’m just so confused!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 14, 2017 at 9:02 am

      Hi Nicole
      Honestly, he sounds like a player.. You saw him talking to another girl but then he jumped into a relationship with a different one

  10. Kiara

    December 10, 2017 at 4:28 am

    Hello there ,

    So three years back we were in a sweet relationship until shit happened. My mom and sister didn’t like him and they caused so many problems , due to that he took a step back cause he knew I love him so much that I can’t let him go. Yet we made it somehow fighting against the odds for a year and I left him on 2015 , cause it was hurting me more than anything to know that he’s falling out of love (he said that to make me hate him).
    We haven’t spoken to each other since then , I blocked him from every social media and all possible ways of communicating, I never really forgot him I loved him and I still do crazy. 2 months back , we spoke to each other via Instagram and felt like nothings really had changed. He still knows I love him so much , but he has a gf and they’ve been dating for 9 months now and she’s in Maldives and they’ve never met each other yet.She knows about me as he says he always had been talking about me with whoever he meets , he says he likes who I am cause I’m very different from the other girls and he loves my character. I surprised him on his 21st bday and he had some conflicts with his gf . He says me all the issues , I keep listening that supper his thought but it’s killing me on the inside, but I don’t have the right to nag and pick about the issues. They broke up 2 weeks back , and he’s been talking to me all day and night. Now she showed up 3 days back .. and they are sorting out problems.

    I’m afraid I’ll never get him .. I’m afraud they’ll date again.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2017 at 2:19 am

  11. Ary

    December 9, 2017 at 11:45 pm

    My ex and I broke up a month and a week ago. I have been doing the no contact rule for 38 days and still ongoing. I’m still doing it because I know he’s a stubborn person. I thought I was okay and already emotionally and mentally ready until my friends told me that they found him with someone else. It hurt me to the core. He was the one who broke up with me (had been cold for almost a month before that) and saying he wanted to be open and see other people. I asked him if there already was someone else and he denied. At first I tried saving the relationship but in the end, I gave him his freedom. I even gave him a closure message 2 days after the break up and he replied too. 1 week after the closure message, I texted him because I found out his grandpa died. When he replied so late still, that was when i realized and started the NC rule. And now, I’m so confused on what to do. I thought about still continuing the NC until 90 days just to make sure that I feel better emotionally and mentally again (and I’ve been working out on my physical too and had good results so far). If you have any idea on what I should do, please let me know.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2017 at 2:11 am

      Hi Ary,
      I’m confused. When did you asked him if he’s seeing somebody else? Was that after 38 days?

  12. Polly

    December 2, 2017 at 7:09 pm

    My ex broke up with me a month ago. Today I reached out after no contact and we spoke. He said he likes a girl from work and has been hanging out with her and is going to her place tonight. We flirted and he said he missed my body but doesn’t want to get back together. I don’t know what to do next

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 1:10 am

      Hi,

      the more you do nc, the less it works.. so, make this your last nc, do 45 days and then take it slow in building rapport after nc and check this one:
      My Boyfriend Says He Wants To Date Me and Another Girl

  13. Ella

    December 2, 2017 at 4:02 am

    Almost 2 months ago my ex broke up with me and a few days later he got into a relationship with someone else he told me how she makes him happy and how shw treats him good 9 days ago when we were arguing through text one of the last things he said to me 9 days ago was I don’t want you in my life I am happy he then changed his number and deleted his whatsapp do I have any chance of getting him back or should I just accept that it is over ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 1:13 am

      Hi Ella,

      why not try the no contact rule first? Have you tried our quiz?

  14. Clara

    November 28, 2017 at 9:09 am

    Thanks for replying, if she is a grass is greener kind of thing, would that mean that she is unlikely a rebound? When he had the conversation with me he said he still had feelings for me but he was tired of missing me and being lonely and just really wanted both of us to move on as this wasn’t healthy anymore.

    He also told himself after i left his city that if he did meet someone, he wouldnt let waiting for me get in the way of it as he didnt know how long to wait. He just never properly communicated this to me. Should I just move on or try the above?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2017 at 2:05 pm

      She’s less likely a rebound.. Try the advice above first, if it doesn’t work, move on..

  15. MaryK

    November 26, 2017 at 2:46 am

    Hi EBR Team, My ex-bf and I were in a serious relationship for 4 years and were planning our wedding. A month ago he said he doesn’t think he can marry me because of our different cultures. He also said he doesn’t want mixed children anymore and his family is embarrassed of my dark skin colour. We broke up and I implemented no contact for 30 days, where I was improving every day and posting.
    After 30 days, I text him first contact texts for 2 days and he has responded extremely favourably. On the 2nd day he said he wanted to share something with me since he wanted to be open with me. He told me that he is “talking” to someone, and unsure of how I will react by this news (is this a rebound?). I acted confident and told him I was happy for him and that I am doing the same. His reaction was not that excited but he wished me all the best. Should I still continue to text him and build rapport and move on to meeting up? Technically he’s still single, but talking to the other girl. How often should I text/meet up with him in this case? Although he always responds, what if he never initiates the texts?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 1:47 am

      HI Mary K,

      For me, you shouldn’t get back with a person who thinks of you like that.

  16. MaryK

    November 26, 2017 at 2:23 am

    Hi EBR Team, My ex-bf and I were in a serious relationship for 4 years and were planning our wedding. A month ago he said he doesn’t think he can marry me because of our different cultures. He also said he doesn’t want mixed children anymore and his family is embarrassed of my dark skin colour. We broke up and I implemented no contact for 30 days, where I was improving every day and posting.
    After 30 days, I text him first contact texts for 2 days and he has responded extremely favourably. On the 2nd day he said he wanted to share something with me since he wanted to be open with me. He told me that he is “talking” to someone, and unsure of how I will react by this news. I acted confident and told him I was happy for him and that I am doing the same. His reaction was not that excited but he wished me all the best. Should I still continue to text him and build rapport and move on to meeting up? Technically he’s still single, but talking to the other girl. How often should I text/meet up with him in this case? Although he always responds, what if he never initiates the texts?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 1:47 am

      HI Mary K,

      For me, you shouldn’t get back with a person who thinks of you like that.

  17. Clara

    November 25, 2017 at 3:14 pm

    Im sorry that this will be a long one but I really need your advice,

    Hi, I was in a long distance relationship, for almost two years and for the second year of the relationship i moved to a city close to him but had to leave the country after a year due to my visa running out. We had ups and downs in the relationship mostly due to the stress and uncertainty of me being able to stay but We talked about marriage frequently in the future and always felt we were the ones for each other. In fact, my ex would repeatedly tell me that he felt so strongly that I was the one for him which he had never felt before in previous relationships and that’s why he continued to do the long distance although he had never believed in them before.

    After i came back to my home country, we kept in contact and both agreed to face reality but we still always said we loved each other, we still talked about marriage and sometimes agreed that it was the right person but wrong timing. I would still hope to get a job in his country but only time will tell how long that would take.

    Three weeks ago, he stopped initiating conversations with me and the texting reduced alot . he called me last night and told me that he had met someone in the last three weeks and wanted to pursue the relationship because he felt that this wasnt healthy anymore. I was beyond shocked but i did understand when he mentioned how he missed being in a relationship etc and that realistically he never knew when i could come back. he also wanted to tell me that he was going to stop talking to me so much as he felt this was for the best and he didnt want to string any girl along ( me or the other girl, he chose the other girl obviously) . I was upset and was emotional and upon stalking the girl ( i am ashamed to admit this) she seemed like the complete opposite of me and I cant help but think it could be a rebound? I said i would accept his relationship but that i did love him. we got into an argument which made him eventually say that he didnt want to give me false hope and we should not speak anymore so that we could both move on. Do i have any chance at all?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 27, 2017 at 8:26 am

      Hi Clara,

      If he met her during your relationship then she’s more of a grass is greener..you can still try the advice above and see if it will work.. Of ot doesn’t, then at least you did the right way of trying to get him back before moving on

  18. Lonely

    November 16, 2017 at 12:16 pm

    I met this guy nearly 3 years ago 3 months later he asked me to be his gf but by the end of july that year he turned our relationship into fwb that we continued for more then 2 years during this time he introduced me to his parents some of his friends even up until recently he introduced me to his best friend who he also works with I used to sometimes hang out with him at work about a month ago we slept together days later I went crazy and snapped and he ended things with me less then 2 weeks later he told me he recently started seeing someone else he told me that he simply cannot trust himself around me then he tells me she makes him happy and how she treats him good and he doesnt want to mess things up with her and we are never having sex again Im not sure if he was telling me this to make me jealous or if he was telling me the truth but the other night he sent me a message telling me how he was changing his number and how he was having alone time and jerking off but I knew that was his way of telling me he was with her fast forward a few days we talked on the phone and he tells me after I asked him he tells me he did want to be with me we ended the conversation by agreeing to be friends but he wants no contact from me for a month during that time he wants me to work on my issues work out where I went wrong and he wants me to get my life in order and find myself he also told me if I can bring the old me back we are good as gold and I will have a friend for life if I do what the article says will I be able to get him back ?
    or do I need to accept that he has a girlfriend and move on ? I dont wanna lose him

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 2:26 am

  19. Hayliey

    November 15, 2017 at 12:37 am

    Hey, so i dated this guy maybe 4 or 5 years ago and we broke because he found out that i cheated on him (keep in mind we were in the 8th grade) and we have not spoken since. Now that i am single and more mature, I’ve been very drawn to him and i keep catching myself staring at him in my English class and he recently added me on snapchat and im really debating if i should message him or not .. the problem is he has a girlfriend.. what should i do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 1:55 am

      Hi Hayliey,

      do you want to try the advice above? Aside from that, check this one too:
      How To Win Back An Ex Who Is With Someone Else

  20. Gigi

    November 2, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    Hi guys, great article. How about if this is not a rebound? My ex and I broke up two years ago, I left him. For over a year he tried to get me back, but we fought because he always did it while dating other women. We both cried a lot during this time, and in January I asked him to go no contact. He then started dating this woman and February! And have been together since. That’s 8 months now, and, after not seeing him for 7 months, I found them at a park where we had released a memorial for a baby with lost. It was a huge surprise to see him there. We started emailing again, and earlier in October he asked me to do grief therapy with him. It seemed very strange to do it almost 2 years after the breakup. We have had three sessions, to have been incredibly emotional, with crying from both of us, with his long-term therapist. But it seems to be couples therapy more than grief. And afterwards, he always wants to have a couple drinks and talk some more. During this times he just stares at me and cries more. I asked him if he loves his new girlfriend, to which he said he does and looks down to the floor when he mentions it however, he writes and tells me that things are not the same, and that there are very specific things he’s missing about us. And he wonders if he will ever be able to love like that again. I know the new girlfriend is a very powerful woman, and Rich, and everything in her CV is what he had professionally longed-for. I don’t know how to bridge my emerging feelings, and have requested to stop therapy. I know they fight because she doesn’t agree with the therapy, obviously, but, he really wants to continue doing it. He also says that he loves me still. I don’t think she’s a rebound. Is she? And, what can I do to turn this around? Thank you for all your help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 4, 2017 at 12:28 am

  21. Kris

    October 20, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    My ex broke up with me over a year ago and we were close to getting back together once last winter. He’s now on his 3rd relationship in that time. To sum up our relationship, very little fighting and connected very well and that connection has remained.

    Last April we had a falling out when he started dating this girl. Didn’t talk at all for 2 months. And only here and there to get a couple of my things when he moved. Early September they broke up and he messaged me. We talked and he told me how lonely he’s felt and that he’s been living a forced life and missed having a connection. We hung out once. They then got back together after a couple days and he blocked me on just about everything. I was able to speak with him once and he did that to try not to be tempted with me. He unblocked and refriended me aftee that. But it sounds like his gf is emotionally abusive and controlling. He told me he’s not allowed to talk to girls especially exes and he has to make her happy. And that he can’t talk to me bc he didn’t want to get “stabbed”. I’ve never heard him sound so defeated.

    Since then he would like and immediately unlike my pictures on Instagram so I get the notification but his gf can’t see it. He lives with her and yesterday he removed his relationship status and took off one picture with her and she his her status. Now he has it back to in a relationship with her.

    He clearly doesn’t seem happy. She’s the one that always tags him in pictures and he has never tagged her in anything other than memes. I know he misses me and at least wants to be able to talk to me.

    Any advice on how to proceed? Their relationship is unhealthy but I think he’s being manipulated. Thought about in a couple weeks just seeing how he’s doing. Last time we messaged was real quick on my birthday a little over a week ago.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 23, 2017 at 11:26 pm

      Hi Kris,

      It may seem like he’s being manipulated, but he’s an adult.. Unless there’s a gun pointed at him, every decision he made, he made it on his own.. And let’s say he is being manipulated, do you want a guy who can’t stand up for you, choose you or only chooses you when he’s having a problem with whome he’s currently with and then ignores you when they’re ok again?

  22. Mhai

    October 17, 2017 at 1:56 am

    Hello, thanks to this article. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. However, we totally broke up last month. After a month, He texted me and even invited me to go to his wedding next year. But I was just wondering why he said that to me yet he’s still courting the woman at that time.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2017 at 8:19 pm

      Hi Mhai,
      Probably to see how you would react

  23. Anne

    October 16, 2017 at 2:41 pm

    Me n my ex been together for 2 and a half years n we had a very rough time. He is a very nice guy but he’s mad he tend to scream n shout n he never let me win. N slowly i change to become like him eventho he’s slowly changing. I keep seeing his old mistake n after a while he said to me that he was tired. N he just doesn’t want to do this anymore. I tried to win him n at first he said dont put too much hope but after 5 days he’s start dating new person. N now he already found his new gf. We just broke up 2 weeks ago. N he’s changing 360. He’s not the type who like to post woman pic on ig bc of family members are following. He only like to post the view but now he started to post his new gf photo n his gf are doing the same too. I feel like I didn’t know him anymore. We had a bad fight before n now im trying to apply the ncr. Will this work? Pls help me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2017 at 12:13 am

      Hi Anne,

      It’s not a guarantee to work but the advice above helps increase your chances..so, yes… Try it..

  24. nina

    October 7, 2017 at 10:15 am

    hello!
    I broke up with my ex about 4 months ago. After a month I realized I made a mistake and wanted him back. We started talking and suddenly I found out he has been dating a new girl so I freaked out because he told me he still wants me and we had a huge fight. I haven’t contact him then for about 3 months and one day I called him and we talked things out.. how do I proceed now? He is still in a relationship and I still wamt him back what should I do? any reply would be helpful.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 8, 2017 at 11:00 pm

  25. Sonam

    October 1, 2017 at 8:42 am

    We are LDR and broke up in January, I went straight into NC for 35 days. I think he went straight into a relationship with another woman, they were also LDR. He never mentioned being in another relationship. That relationship now seems to be over since he went back to work on a cruise ship mid August.

    However, there seems to be a new OW, they work on the same cruise ship and I think the relationship maybe about a month old. Again he hasn’t mentioned this new relationship and has been talking to me as normal. We talked about meeting up in November when he is leaving that ship to join another ship. But this last week he has been less responsive and pulling away, he hasn’t even read my last message.

    My question is, how do I proceed with this? I won’t message him for again for a few days but I don’t want to go NC for too long because they will be in their honeymoon phase of the relationship and NC from me will surely just bring them closer together? She already has the advantage of proximity and being able to be with him 24 hours of the day.

    Should I ask if he’s in another relationship? Or should I continue to act like I have no knowledge since he hasn’t told me himself? Also, does the fact that this will be his 2nd relationship since our breakup worsen my chances of getting him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 2, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      Hi Sonam,

      Don’t mention it because that would mean you’re stalking him.. Continue building rapport but have more time in your life and in improving yourself

    2. Sonam

      October 2, 2017 at 7:38 pm

      Hi Amor,

      Thank you for your advice. I will continue to build rapport as I am and not mention the other woman unless he does.

      As for improving myself and having more time for myself, I’m not sure how to become more UG? Would love any advice on how you think I could?

      I mean not to sound conceited but I’ve always been UG… I’m well travelled, well read. I run a successful business and have just launched a second. I write for fashion and music publications. I have an amazing lifestyle, with great family and friends. I have never let my physical appearance falter and I’m known for my sartorial fashion (both products of my modelling days). I’m not sure I can fit anymore into my life, other than my ex obviously lol.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 2, 2017 at 10:35 pm

      Frankly, you are active and living the ug life..that means you just have to make ug choices when it comes to relationships.. You have to set standards and limits. It’s ok to try to build rapport, but you have to set a limit on until when you’re going to do that..especially that you know he has another girl on the side.. The more ug approach is to ignore the other girl and build rapport but when the time comes that he knows that you know he’s in a relationship, and you’re still there trying, you’re either going to be friendzoned or used.. Because he would why would you invest a lot of time with a guy who’s already in a relationship right? He would either think youre5 just being friendly or you want him even while he’s in a relationship..

    4. Sonam

      October 3, 2017 at 12:13 am

      It’s 8 months since the breakup but we’ve had over 3 months of NC in that time due to the sheer complicated nature of my situation. I’ve never stopped living my life in that time though.

      I completely agree that there has to be a limit and I have thought about just walking away many times. I also, call him out every time I feel he’s been disrespectful to me because I won’t lower my standards for anything.

      When I met him in July he told me he loved me, missed me and that he was sorry for everything. That was the first meet up where we spent a significant amount of time together. Unfortunately, mid August to mid September has been a bad period for us, I did NC for 2 weeks of that time and so progress has slowed down/regressed.

      I have no definite proof of him being with any of the OW and until I do I will continue with my contact etc. We are set to meet in November, when he is changing ships. We will again get to spend significant time together and this is my deadline date. We will either decide to pursue a new relationship or I’ll walk away forever.

      So I DO have a method to what I know appears like madness haha.

      Thank you so much for all your advice and time xo

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 3, 2017 at 9:43 pm

      Ok…, you’re welcome!

  26. Jomi

    September 22, 2017 at 2:56 pm

    Hello,
    My boyfriend of almost 4 yrs recently left me for another girl and this is probably the most pain I’ve ever gone through in my life.

    I discovered this website and really appreciate your words. I come here everyday to try to calm down the pain.

    I don’t want to make the story long but I want to give some details because I’m reeeally in need of advise.

    In the beginning of the 4 yrs. Things seemed to go pretty well. We supposedly fell in love with each other. Well I know I truly loved him but now I doubt he ever did.

    Within a few months of being together I discovered he was cheating on me with his roommate. I was 30 at the time and he was 26. The girl was only 15 yrs old. I discovered this was going on for while. I stopped talking to him for a few weeks but then went back with him.

    I was also pregnant during this time and really wanted to keep my baby. After a month of him putting me down, making me cry, no support & persuading me to get an abortion he somehow convinced me to get the abortion. Which I completely regret now and adds more to my pain. He later on said that he was really scared and that’s why he wanted me to do it.

    I soon discovered many other things like him flirting and getting #s from girls on Facebook and dating websites.

    I kept getting mad and stopping communication but I always went back to him after him apologizing.

    See all this time I blamed myself and justified his actions because in the beginning of the relationship i would get random texts from ex’s I had nothing to do with any longer but wanted me back.

    I loved my boyfriend and never cheated on him. But he never believed me and thought I was cheating on him because of these texts. I re-assured him that I had nothing to hide and would never cheat.

    So since he wouldn’t believe me I think this is what made him go on a cheating spree. When I would leave him to try and move on I would try talking to other guys. But I loved him and kept going back to him. I would receive texts from this guy I wasn’t talking to any longer and my ex would get further upset and I would discover even more girls he would be talking to online and probably in person. So in reality I don’t how many times he cheated. All I know is that I was always loyal to him and honest.

    During all these time he never wanted to leave me, neither did I so we always got back together.

    About 3 yrs in the relationship I got really fed up of everything I’ve tolerated & noticed that once again he was acting strange & distant. I would go to his house be intimate and then find myself be the only one trying to contact him. He would call or text only here and there.

    So I told him that I warned him that I was going to change my # because I was tired of everything he had done to me and I didn’t want to continue fighting. He didn’t said ok do whatever u want.. like he didnt even care. I guess he didn’t take me seriously.

    So one day weeks later around October 2016 I changed my # suddenly without telling him anything. I blocked all communication with him through social media so he couldn’t contact me ever again. I managed to move on for 6 months. I dated but nothing happened there.

    I ended up going back to him after 6 months. I called him and he seemed very happy and regretful for the things that happened in the past. We were talking normally again. I started going to his house and being intimate. He told me he really wanted to work things out this time. So I automatically assumed we were together in a relationship.

    But through all the time I contacted him again starting around May of this year he would complain about why I left him for 6 months. That why I left him for someone else he would think.
    He was never the type to take blame for anything. So no matter how many times I told him I was just fed up with getting hurt he just didn’t seem to care about that. He just kept complaining about me leaving him for someone else.

    He told me he came looking for me outside my house but never saw me come out. And that he tried reaching out to me in any way he could and was never able to. That there were nights in which he would cry.

    So we only saw each other like 5x since May of this year and he was acting distant once again. Where I would be the one mostly contacting him. Not on a stalker crazy basis but I would find myself complaining to him that why was I the one contacting him and he would make excuses about the 6 months.

    Since May after the 6 month break there would also be periods of 1 and 2 weeks where I wouldn’t contact him at all since he just wasn’t reaching out to me.

    We would then get in contact again like nothing ever happened and he would call me “baby” send me kisses and act normal. Until one day he just completely stopped talking to me and started ignoring mist of my texts.

    I felt like all this time since May he might have been talking to someone but he always said he wasn’t when I would ask him. Since he wasn’t talking to me or answering my calls even though my calls and texts were sparingly.. I decided to show up at his house. Since he wasn’t talking to me at all.

    I asked him once again to Iet me know if he had a girlfriend and for the first time instead of denying it he stayed quiet. So the impression I get is that he definitely has a new girlfriend he found while he was talking to me. And it seems like he’s trying to be loyal and serious this time with her.. And that really hurts. He didn’t even want to touch me.

    I ended up seducing him and we ended up doing it. But after that he hasn’t contacted me or anything. It seems like this time he’s actually has moved on for the 1st time and he wants to be faithful to the girl.

    I sent him a goodbye letter after asking if he would leave his girl and start over with me because I believe we could work things out. He didn’t respond to that. But he did respond to the goodbye letter with a little crying emoji. He called me right after the goodbye letter and I didn’t answer and right after he sent me the crying emoji. That was on Sunday Sept. 17, 2017.

    I didn’t respond to that and been trying to do the no contact rule for 5 days now. But I need your serious advice.. I feel like we already had many no contact situations and this is probably not the right time to do no contact anymore. I really don’t want to lose him. I would like him back and I truly believe we could work things out if he would let us talk and stop blaming me for everything.

    Or is that he just never felt anything for me for these whole 4 years and this was finally the opportunity he was looking for to leave me…

    Please help.. I would like him back. I assume hes been with this new girl for about 2 months…

    Should I really be doing no contact for a whole 30 days at this point… Since I feel like we already had many no contact periods… or would it be wiser to try and speak to him again before he gets even closer to this girl and lose him for ever….??

    Thanks in advance! I appreciate your help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 27, 2017 at 8:13 pm

  27. Sun

    August 29, 2017 at 4:40 am

    My ex left me for someone else. We were talkin and he suddenly said , im in love with someone else.
    That was 19days ago. We had a little argument and I stopped talking immediately. I have been going out and posting lots of fun pics and videos for my ex to see. He hasnt contacted me in 19days and neither have I.

    How do I text the guy after the 30days as he is with someone else ? He hasnt texted me and that is really sad but im keeping strong. Im afraid that if i text him 30days later, he will get mad at me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2017 at 8:54 am

      Hi Sun,
      You wont know until you tried.
      Check this one for text messages:
      The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

      And this one:
      Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

  28. alex

    August 28, 2017 at 11:46 pm

    So, my ex bf and i met on okc on november last year, he lives in Maryland and i live in Peru, we talked for a few months every day all day, he sent me flowers for valentines and a cake for my birthday. In april he came to peru to stay with me for a week and in may i went to the states to study. After a few months, he told me that he needed his spaces and we have a few issues about it but never thought that he would broke up with me. He broke up with me boyfriend 2 weeks ago, we were still living together after the breakup (because of course i practically moved from my country with him to study and i didnt have anywhere else to go) and a few days later he dumped me, he dated a girl from work. This girl texted him a few sexual messages while we were still together and they went on a date, they kissed and she touched him down there. Even when we broke up, he told me that he loves me a lot, that he cares about me deeply but he is not in love. He still wanted to have sex with me, and even after his date we had sex. Im back in my country a week after the breakup, and he texted me today that he miss me. Do i still have a chance to get back with him? or is a lost cause?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2017 at 8:36 am

  29. caroline

    August 25, 2017 at 10:05 pm

    My ex and I broke up four months ago after a two year relationship. I found out I was suffering from bipolar disorder and I guess lack of maturity for being four years younger than him and I could tell I was really starting to hurt him. We both agreed that we should break up so I could get better and so could he. I’ve talked to him maybe once a week ever since the breakup to check in on him, but he always says he resents me, though he still has some good memories about me and wants me to stop bothering him so he won’t lose those. I just found out yesterday that he has been dating someone for about six weeks and my heart fell to my stomach. I can’t help but wonder if he loves her or thinks she is better than me. I also wonder if, since I have to move to the same city that he lives in in a year, he would see me more grown up, stable, and successful and want me back. He says his girlfriend is dealing with her ex as well, so I wonder if their relationship would even last too long, both of them coming out of long term relationships.

  30. jennifer

    August 24, 2017 at 9:24 pm

    hi me and my ex dated for two years then he broke up with me and months later dated another girl who he then left after 8 months and broke up with because of me, he told me he still loved me and the memories brought him back to me however we started talking to try and fall in love with each other again and after trying we managed to at one point but lost our balance again because i couldn’t just let us be i kept bringing up questions like what are we and why aren’t we together eventually he got sick of trying and having the same conversations so I went to stay with him for 3 weeks we had a good time but we had sex and when I got back we just didn’t talk much and he told me its because he doesn’t feel the urge to pop up to me and talk to me his old feelings aren’t there anymore and it isn’t the same, now he’s started talking to another girl who is literally perfect in terms of looks and they have many similarities but I still want him back, we are still in contact, however, I’ve blocked him off everything so my life is easier for now and today I talked to him and he told me to let go of us and that if we get together then we will but if we don’t we won’t but he doesn’t want to give me false hope and told me we can be friends but he’s talking to the other girl right now and getting to know her and that he already thinks she’s cool, he also said it’s my choice if i want to stay in his life while he chats to her, he doesn’t care if i leave his life or not right about now but i want him back so what do i do

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 24, 2017 at 11:33 pm

    2. jennifer

      August 25, 2017 at 12:12 am

      we dont hook up anymore hes now dating someone else and ive read them and now ive cut of contact with him so what do i do? he sounds so cold and heartless will he ever come back to me like he did last time?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 26, 2017 at 12:06 pm

      he probably will but more likely for sex.. so, that’s good that you’re not sleeping with him anymore.. be active in improving yourself during and after nc, while slowly building rapport.. just be consistent in not sleeping with him anymore.. Your posts are your indirect way of showing your improvements.

    4. maryam

      August 25, 2017 at 12:17 am

      we arent hooking up anymore and hes dating someone else and being so blunt with me so i cut of contact with him tonight

    5. Deja

      October 14, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Your situation sounds fairly close to mine, except my ex is not dating anyone but I know he is talking to other girls. We broke up about 3 weeks ago. I would really love to know where you & your ex stand now & if you both are in a good place (which I hope you are). If so, would you mind telling me the steps you took?

  31. shannon

    August 11, 2017 at 1:27 am

    Hi everyone I’m so thankful to have found this group! I’m only 23 but my relationship of 3 years ended suddenly 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and I started living together 6 months back and thought it was going really well. One day we were arguing over something silly that quickly escalated. He said he needed time alone to think and we didn’t talk for 3 days. Finally he said he was ready to talk and told me he was no longer happy or in love. I was blind sided and devastated. My entire life crumbled and I felt like I lost everything. A few days after I heard through my sister he was seen with a girl whom he had been playing online video games and met through coworkers. He has been living at her apartment ever since the breakup and I feel even more devastated to know he moved on so quickly. I feel like our entire relationship was a lie and he no longer cares for me. Even though he ended things before he started physically seeing her it hurts to think of it so soon after. I am having good moments when I see my strength and self love, but every time I think of him with her i feel nauseous. A part of me still wants to try and work things out with him, but I don’t think he feels the same. I’ve seen posts online of them together and he genuinely looks happy and is smiling and flirting together. We have only contacted each other in regards to the apartment logistics. I want to try couples therapy but think it may be too late if he’s moved on. I am actively working on myself and spending time with family, friends, looking for new work, apartments, and hobbies. I feel excited to be moving forward and just want to do the same with him. Should I reach out after no contact period and try to do therapy? Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 11, 2017 at 4:42 pm

      you can initiate contact after nc to slowly rebuild rapport but couples therapy is for couples. So, that means you can only suggest that if you get back together.

  32. shannon

    August 11, 2017 at 1:23 am

    Hi everyone I’m so thankful to have found this site! I’m only 23 but my relationship of 3 years ended suddenly 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and I started living together 6 months back and thought it was going really well. One day we were arguing over something silly that quickly escalated. He said he needed time alone to think and we didn’t talk for 3 days. Finally he said he was ready to talk and told me he was no longer happy or in love. I was blind sided and devastated. My entire life crumbled and I felt like I lost everything. A few days after I heard through my sister he was seen with a girl whom he had been playing online video games and met through coworkers. He has been living at her apartment ever since the breakup and I feel even more devastated to know he moved on so quickly. I feel like our entire relationship was a lie and he no longer cares for me. Even though he ended things before he started physically seeing her it hurts to think of it so soon after. I am having good moments when I see my strength and self love, but every time I think of him with her i feel nauseous. A part of me still wants to try and work things out with him, but I don’t think he feels the same. I have started the no contact rule and so far we have only talked in regards to logistics about the apartment. I see his social media posts with the new girl and he genuinely looks happy and is smiling and laughing which is gut wrenching. Should I let go of the hope of fixing things? I want to try couples therapy but I think it’s too late. Has he moved on or is this a rebound to take his mind off stuff? Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 11, 2017 at 4:41 pm

      you can initiate contact after nc to slowly rebuild rapport but couples therapy is for couples. So, that means you can only suggest that if you get back together.

  33. Cookie

    August 10, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    My ex broke up with me 5 months ago after almost 3 years together. We also lived together. We had a couple problems that led us to argue all the time. But this time he walked away for good. I begged him to work it out but it didn’t work. He insisted on being friends, I said no but then I agreed. He deleted me from social media only and I found out a month later he had a new gf.

    We have kept in contact ever since the break. He calls me almost every week for something. He has even told me he still loves me and that he always will. He also told me he missed me last week. He never discusses this gf with me.

    Should I move on??

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 11, 2017 at 2:03 pm

      Hi Cookie,

      why not try the advice above first?

    2. Cookie

      August 11, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Wouldn’t no contact cause him and his gf to only grow closer??

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 12, 2017 at 12:25 pm

      it can but if you stay in the picture instead of focusing in improving yourself, you’re not giving him time to miss you and you’re not putting up a good competition. He already sees the other girl as the grasss is greener. Staying around constantly is not going to create desire.

  34. Jody

    August 1, 2017 at 3:06 am

    Last year, after 8 years of being together, I decided to ask for a break with my bf. He then said he wanted a break up not a break. So we broke up. I then started dating someone else but he dumped me after a few months of being together.

    I found out that my ex bf is in a serious committed relationship with his best friend’s sister. They’ve been together for over a year now. He has introduced her to his family and extended family and vice versa. They’re almost living together. I also found out he’s deleted me from facebook. He didnt wish me on my birthday and ignores some of my texts. He has never initiated convo with me since our break up. Should I move on from him? Or is she a rebound.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 1, 2017 at 5:04 pm

      Yes, Jody, you should move on..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *