Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

It can really hurt when an ex boyfriend (who you still have feelings for) seemingly moves on to another girl. For many women out there they lose all hope of getting their ex back. Others will get angry and immediately look to start or cause a fight. Rarely will you ever come across one that does the smartest thing, stack the odds in her favor! That is really what this page is all about, how to get your ex boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend by stacking the odds in your favor.

If you haven’t already read my epic article on how to get your ex boyfriend back I suggest you drop everything for the next 30 minutes (yes 30 minutes) and go read it.

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Remember The Most Important Thing

Before you take any major steps to getting your ex boyfriend back it is important that you implement the No Contact Rule. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into that. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.

If you don’t have the patience to read that entire page let me sum up some of the most important points for you.

No Contact Rule Main Points

  • No contact what-so-ever for 30 days (1 full month.)
  • This means no texting, calling, emailing, letters, facebook stalking or Googling.
  • During your 30 day freeze out make sure you improve yourself both mentally and physically.

You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing and you are going to want to contact your ex very badly (and you are definitely not going to have many good things to say.)

How Did He Get His New Girlfriend?

New Girlfriend

(Disclaimer: I promised myself that I was going to use this page to legitimately help people. So, I feel that this section is important. While this may not be a section about how to get him back it is a section that is something I added in to prevent you from making a big mistake, going after a guy that will only hurt you very deeply again.)

Believe it or not but how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline three situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that you should be trying to get back and one of the situations is going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back. Let’s begin.

Situation 1– You broke up with your ex, realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. If you are in this situation then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex boyfriend back.

Situation 2– He broke up with you and later got a new girlfriend. Again, this is a really common situation and you are free to go ahead and try to get him back.

Situation 3- He left you for another girl. He was either cheating or was in love with someone else. Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here, this guy is not someone that you should want to get back with. Sure, you can try to get him back but he needs to prove to you that he is trustworthy.

4 Truths To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back With A New Girlfriend

truth

This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Let’s explore!

Truth 1: Not contacting your ex is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong. Getting mad, breaking down and texting your ex a hateful message about his new girlfriend isn’t going to help your ultimate goal is it? Instead, be cool and don’t worry, every dog has it’s day.

Truth 2: It’s not always easy dating someone new. Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is uncomfortable in his new relationship. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step..

Truth 3: Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. Lucky for you rebound relationships don’t last forever. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships are bound to fail. So, the odds are in your favor just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. Remember, if you freak out you are going to make a lot of mistakes and mistakes aren’t going to help get you two back together.

Truth 4: It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things (like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup) he will remember all the good things. This can definitely work in your favor.

How To Cope

coping

It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else. I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Remember, just because he is dating someone new doesn’t mean your chances are gone completely. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you.

Keep The Focus On You- Try your best not to obsess over his situation. You can’t control what he does but you can control what you do. Go out and have fun. Make new friends. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself.

It’s Not Your Fault- Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did or something that they could not provide. Dating isn’t always black and white like that. Whatever happens, make sure you don’t let an ex boyfriends actions affect how you feel.

Accept That There Will Be Pain- You are not a robot. You can’t just turn off your feelings. It’s ok to feel pain over the situation but once that pain starts creeping into your everyday life and effecting how you live then you have problems.

Beware Of The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome- This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page. Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back once they see him with someone new. If you find that you are in this situation be very careful about proceeding to get him back. You may need to go back and do some serious searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.

Resist Any Comparisons- It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new (hopefully temporary) girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all.

Are There Any Actions You Can Take To Help Your Cause?

actions to take

So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze. Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control. I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use. However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

(Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.)

Watch For Trouble Signs- No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Each one has it’s ups and downs. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you.

Initiate Contact Via Text Message- Test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.

Be Very Nice To Him And His New Girlfriend- If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it.

February 1, 2017

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (3,576)

  1. Sophie - 0

    Sophie

    Hello,

    I’ve posted on this website before and have always found the advice to be useful. Unfortunately, my situation with my ex is very complicated and it reached a desperate stage. He left me because his mother doesn’t approve of our relationship. We wanted us to get married and he tried to convince her but she refused. He promised me that by end of this year we’d definitely be married. He’s 36 years old and we had an off/on relationship for 4 years. He left me 4 months ago saying he had to make a choice between me and his family, and that he had to choose them. The whole thing was too much of a hassle for him, I think. I found out he got engaged to someone else 2 days ago, I’m assuming it’s someone his mother matched him up with.

    I’m devastated, I still love him and want to to be with him. I don’t understand how he can move on so quickly. I’m not sure if there is something I can do to get him back in this case…

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      for me you should move on..with that mindset of him, if they’re going to get married, it’s not going to be a happy marriage.

  2. Erin - 0

    Erin

    Hello, I’m in mid-late 20’s. Never in any type of relationship in the past. Practically single since birth. I’ve been in love before but I would say, those were considered as puppy love not until, 3 years ago when I tried out a dating app. I started talking to this guy 3 years ago and having such strong core values and beliefs, it took me the 3rd year which is this year to really engage myself with him. The relationship itself gave me a lot of heartaches with him. I held on because I had faith on us. I had faith that regardless of what my friends was saying about him, I knew he was a nice a person despite of the image he may portray on the outside. The relationship was on and off the past 3 years. He was in graduate school but recently just graduated. I had to be away for 2 months but we stayed in contact. When I was away and he was in post-grad life, I realize my strong feelings for him and the relationship was fading. I feared that but I held on and I was looking forward to coming back home to see him. After a couple of weeks, I came back and he reached out. He practically sent me a message with: welcome back, I’ve met someone. I felt blindsided. I didn’t see him to be in an exclusive relationship with someone else or suddenly with just anyone. I am still in shock and wanted a proper closure, through meeting in person but he didn’t want to and he thinks it would the same as it was delivered over text message. With the length that I’ve known him, I value the relationship and so as he says instead of thinking bad things about him, I just want to understand his sudden decision to break things off. It felt abrupt. I’m worried that he will come back again for the 3rd time and do this. Whether if he is in an exclusive relationship or not (just to push me away) and not ready for a commitment, I do feel that he is better than what he did, instead he decided to do a reverse 180 on me — out of sight, out of mind. Please advise

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Erin,

      I’m confused.. Why would he push you away more when he already said he met someone?

  3. Lu - 0

    Lu

    Hi amor
    That’s why I wanted my things so I had nothing tying me to him then I vacant start it! Now I’ve arranged to get my things tomorrow after he’s cancelled on me non stop I feel he won’t be interested though and he’ll grow more attached to this other girl. I pass his every day on my way to work and notice his van not there and it really upsets me to think he’s with her should I’ll hear him out tomorrow if he has anything to say and then I’ll start no contact but how should I address it tomorrow when I get my stuff I don’t want to show weakness but be positive I’m so confused and heartbroken right now i see no light at the end of the tunnel

    Reply
  4. Lisa - 0

    Lisa

    My ex and I have been on and off together for the 4 and a half years. This last recent time that we were together it was about a year I would say. About 10 days ago, he broke up with. He told me that he was truly unhappy and needed to “go solo”. Now today, I am finding out that he has a new girlfriend. He came by my house today so simply talk, and we ended up having sex. He immediately told me that he regrets it because he really likes this new girl. They have been friends for the last 5 years. He has told me that this girl in not a rebound, but he also admits that he is still definitely in love with me but doesn’t want to be. I had initially done no contact, but broke it today when I realized he had a new girlfriend… I am going to start No Contact once again but what else can I do?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      stick to it. be active in improving yourself and in posting and don’t sleep with him again.

  5. RITISHA GUPTA - 0

    RITISHA GUPTA

    I and my boyfriend are fighting since 7 months whether to be single or to be committed. He started liking his best friend at some point of time. He treated her very nicely but not me. I love him more than anyone. Now we have finally broken up. But I want him to come back, say sorry and be with me s he used to be before these 7 months. He has not confessed his best friend yet. But I cannot see them together. I want him back and start feeling for me again. How is it possible??? I want back his attention, love, care and everything. But how?? Because we have been fighting since 7 months…………

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Ritisha,

      are you going to try the advice above?

  6. Lu - 0

    Lu

    So been split from my ex for 5 weeks I gave him every opportunity to tell me if he was dating someone new because as I told him ‘it might make it easier for me to move on too’ he contacted me the first 2 weeks of the breakup then he changed from missing me to adamant we are no longer meant to be together I found out through some girls friend that he is now in contact with a girl he got rid of before me and him started dating and they’ve been apparently spending time together I was distraught because he told me he wasn’t seeing anyone I confronted him and told him I wanted my stuff back and to be out of this situation he seemed upset that someone had gone out of their way to hurt me but I told him I wanted to be done with everything once and for all. He works a lot and I was meant to collect my stuff on a couple of occasions but it got cancelled how do I go about getting my stuff back and is there anyway me and him could get back together now that he is potentially seeing someone else. He told me in a message that ‘it isn’t what you think’ when I told him I knew about this other girl I’m truly heart broken and am crying every day all day most days everything reminds me of him please help :,(

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Lu,

      are you going to do the no contact rule?

  7. Louise - 0

    Louise

    Hi EBR,

    My ex fiance and I broke up two years ago, we were together 7 years. In November 2016, after a year of no contact, he called me at 5am and said he regretted that we didn’t work out and was sorry for not doing his part in the relationship. I accepted his apology and we ended the call. He called two more times after that, within a month, and texted me asking me to call him. I wasn’t sure of his motives and was afraid of getting hurt again so I ignored his calls and text. Yesterday I saw that he tweeted that he’s recently single again and sad that he keeps attracting women who aren’t good for him and don’t appreciate his love. He’s no angel and hurt me during our relationship but it hurt to hear he’d loved someone after me and I feel bad about not returning his contact as I still care about him. What would be the best way to contact him or has it been too long?
    Thank you!

    Reply
  8. Denisa - 0

    Denisa

    Hello! My ex broke up with me today, it’s not for the first . He said that we’re fighting too much, but we are doing so just bc i care about him a lot, an sometimes i feel like he is not treating me like his equal. After the breakup, i saw he with another girl. This happened before, when he broke up with me (always a different girl). i want to follow the nc rule, but in two weeks we are both attending a party, what am i supposed to do? Thanks a lot

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Just be civil with him at the party..avoid him as much as you can

  9. Em - 0

    Em

    Hi I need help my ex boyfriend and I have been split a year now he’s had a girlfriend for 4 months and split up with her and has a new one hers been with for three.
    I’ve done no contact twice no successfully each time he got into a new relationship and it always seemed to be him coming back to me telling me he missed me etc..

    A few days ago I cracked and told him that I still loved him and watching him be with someone else is killing me and I don’t know how much longer I can go talking to him when he’s with someone else… I asked him if he knew how hard it was watching someone toublove be in love with someone else and that’s when he told me he’s not in love with her he still loves me and has strong feelings for me and wants us to try again at some point (I’ve heard all this before with the first girlfriend and he says this time after everything we’ve been through he means it)

    The hard this is he’s still with his girlfriend and things seem to be going good I guess? They are going the zoo like a happy family with her kids he’s been off work for a week and promised to come see me he didn’t in the end due to other commitments but still went out with his girlfriend.

    Am I being stupid in believing that me and him will ever work out when he does playing happy families with a girl he doesn’t love but I don’t know if he wants to be with her?!

    I’m so confused can someone help?

    Thanks

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      That’s normal because you have feelings but you need to set a limit on until when you’re going to do this

    • Em - 0

      Em

      Hey,
      I have set a limit and I’ve told him this and he said that he can’t cope without me I’ve been there through everything and he doesn’t want to lose me and I don’t want to lose him either so I’m not sure what I can do because I don’t want to walk away from everything we’ve still got.
      do you have any advice..??

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      You have to walk away because the longer you stay like that, the more it will just stay that way or it will get worse

  10. Luna - 0

    Luna

    The love of my life dumped me for someone else earlier this week, this was something that came straight out of nowhere. I’m so in love with this man I don’t know what to do with myself, I have been hysterically crying and acting like a spoiled toddler repeating “the only thing I want is getting him back”.
    I haven’t talked to him since, but I read on the male equivalent of this that you can do a shortened NC-rule of 14 days instead of 30. I really want to do the 14 days one because I’m scared of him geting comfortable in with his new girl if I don’t establish contact in over a month. Would it work?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Not really.. Basically because you just want to chase him..

  11. Mary - 0

    Mary

    Hi, please, I really need your help!

    My boyfriend and I had 2 years together, our sex life wasn’t very good, since I denied to have sex with him sometimes and that was devastating for him. He broke up with me on June 10th, we have spoken like 4 times since, he is always really nice and wants to be in my life since he says he doesn’t want to throw 2 years to the garbage.

    He has this hidden, even from his best friend, but I found out he has been seeing a girl, he has gone to the movies with her 3 times and is hanging out with her. I am afraid that he gets over me while I apply the no contact rule… that he gets more in love with her. I don’t know how long to pull the no contact through. Also he is leaving my country next year, I believe this also has something to do with the breakup, but he knows that it is on my possibilities to go where he is going too.

    It is important to say that he always finds a new girlfriend really quick, when we got together he only had 4 months single and this is something normal for him. PLEASE HELP! I don’t want to lose him, I really want to change my sexual behaviour but I don’t know how to make him believe me I CAN change.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Mary,

      Why not try the advice above?

  12. Lila - 0

    Lila

    Hi
    I was with my daughters dad for 5 years & we broke up when she was a baby. We remained the best of friends over the past 4 years, living apart but doing many things as a family still. He won’t commit to me as he says I’m too controlling & get paranoid about him meeting someone else. The last few weeks he’s told me I can’t go to his house anymore, we can’t speak or text and we can’t do anything with our daughter together. I’ve asked him if he’s met someone else and he’s said no. He also said he wouldn’t tell me if he did aa it’s ni business of mine. We’ve always had such an open friendship I have found he’s changed so much the past few months. He’s been telling me if I could change and not be controlling it paranoid we could be together. He is an amazing dad to my daughter he sees her everyday. He also goes out most nights when he’s not working. I hardly get to go out as I’m the primary carer of her & I’ve lost a lot of my confidence since our breakup. I feel like such a fool for letting it get this far. I feel heartbroken all over again thinking he’s met someone. I’ve tried to implement the LAw if attration over the past few years but it seems to be goingoing against me lately. Any advice would be great I feel so stupid for even writing this is here! thank you x

    Reply
  13. Key - 0

    Key

    hi. my ex bf broke up with me. We had a lDR for 4 years and we saw each other only once 2 years ago.
    A week after he broke up with me he met someone else over the internet…
    He told me to keep him posted on what I do, etc. but he never initiates contact and ask me to write every few weeks because he feels “deceptive” if he talks to me since he promise the new woman not to talk to me.
    I don’t know what to do… if I write I am doing something wrong and if I don’t write he won’t contact me I think… help me please.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi key,

      Do you want to try the no contact rule?

  14. Lucy - 0

    Lucy

    I was dating my bf for 5months we had a disagreement over me being moody due to a previous spat that went unresolved he is a very busy guy with work and gets stressed easily he has big jobs coming up and so tuesday this week he breaks up with me I gave him every opportunity to change his mind but he was adamant. First he said he wanted time apart then it changed to him wanting to just be friends because he can’t deal with the stress of everything. He’s a very live each day as it comes type of guy I haven’t spoken to him since Tuesday can I win him back?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      if he’s just overwhelmed, then yes you have a higher chance if you did the nc right

  15. Mila - 0

    Mila

    Hello, pls help me…my ex and i broke up since july 2016..things were great between us at the start then i become emotional as i was facing problems to deal with like fake friends, family issues and the death of my father was affecting me…my ex was really supportive and he understood. But i was really moody and this kinda ruined our relationship and he had trust issues because i hide many things from him..he broke up with me. And blocked me everywhere on social media and told me to be independent… After the break up i became clingy af. He said that he would never return back as i needed to change and be independent. I tried no contact but failed at it because he was stalking me on a fake acc on instagram.. Recently he contacted me by unblocking me on whatsapp and he told me to meet him.. The meeting was cold af and he told me i didn’t change and he again told the he can’t return…pls i need.help because i really don’t know what to do now and am lost

    Reply
  16. sharan - 0

    sharan

    i want to talk to you pls rep me yar…

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sharan,

      how can we help you?

  17. lekha - 0

    lekha

    can you please give me reply?

    Reply
  18. lekha - 0

    lekha

    i was in a relationship 1 yr back.my ex dumped me saying that i talked nonsense with his friend actually what happened was his friend was a flirt and he talked sex matters with me but i was unable to cut the call because his friend was the only way to reach him for me as our parents didn’t like our relationship.so his phone was taken by his mom and that was the reason i called his friend . it had been 1 yr since he talked me now i heard that he is in a relationship with another girl and it is so serious too.i don’t know what 2 do.i even called his mom and brothers and cried they also said him to take me back but he is saying that he don’t want me.he is saying he loves that girl and want 2 marry her. moreover now he is saying that the reason 4 breakup was he don’t like talking me with his mom and brothers .i am so confused .i want him back. please help me

    Reply
  19. Jadyn - 0

    Jadyn

    I really don’t know the actual status of my ex and his new rebound. To be honest I don’t even know if he is still seeing her. I never heard they were actually dating, just that they were seeing each other to “see what happens”. Last I know was about 3 weeks ago he introduced her to our friend group. Haven’t heard anything since but haven’t tried to snoop at all either. They work together so I’m assuming things haven’t ended yet but it’s possible. My no contact of 30 days is done!! And I was successful even when the temptation to talk was there when I would go to get me dog for visits. Yesterday would have been our official 2 year anniversary, so I’ve decided to extend the no contact until sometime next week. When I went to drop off the dog today my exes dad was there helping him do yard work. I spoke to the dad for a quick moment, told my ex the dog was good and exhausted from our walk and then I turned around to leave and he said “oh you’re taking off already”. I’m prob over thinking it, and he prob didn’t say it because he was expecting me to talk more (he prob said it just cuz his dad was there and his parents love me) but I was proud of myself because he said it and I didn’t hesitate to say yes. And it kind of felt good to hear that he thought I was leaving so quick (even if it was for the sake of his dad). So now I need to start thinking about starting contact again. Is it a good idea to start contact while he is still in a rebound? Or is the dog meeting enough? I don’t want to overdue it. I feel like regaining contact with an ex in a rebound is different than a regular no contact ending. I don’t want to push them closer together.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      if you want, approach it like this one:
      What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

    • Jadyn - 0

      Jadyn

      Ok. He’s for sure still seeing her… he’s not one to post snapchat stories but did today(just now). It was of her and my dog. My heart just sunk big time. I hate this so much. I need to step up my game. I need your help amor. I watched the video you linked. It makes sense. Do you have any other articles or videos on doing this? Any other advice from you?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      List out his interests, everything you can think of and if there are current ones in the news, friends or in the environment, use that..

  20. Ellen - 0

    Ellen

    My ex of almost 8 years broke up with me alost 2 months ago. He immedeathly started dating another girl whom I think he was talking to before he left me. We have children so I couldn’t initiate the nc rule. However, I went from begging and feeling sorry for myself to pulling away and I’ve been working on myself. Well, a couple days ago he come to pick the boys up and was making passes at me. He ended up kissing me and giving me a really deep hug. It felt like he actually cared. He told me we’ve been best friends for 8 years and he wants to continue being friends. He called me last night to tell me he’s engaged to this girl he’s been dating for not even 2 months. Then, today he’s wanting to get together to have sex. I thought she was just a rebound but now I’m wondering. What does all of this mean? He has me so confused.

    Reply
  21. Charlotte - 0

    Charlotte

    Will this work for a friendship that was leading to a relationship but I pushed him away and now he’s seeing someone else?

    Reply
  22. Charlotte - 0

    Charlotte

    I have a different situation so I’m going to tell you the story and you can tell me if I’m even on the right page. My best friend and I have feelings for each other. I pushed him and pushed him and pushed him for a relationship knowing that neither of us were in a place to really have a healthy relationship. Fast forward 3 years. I’ve pushed him to point that he is uncomfortable around me and he says even though he has feelings for me I can’t seem to get my s**t together. I have high functioning anxiety and I’ve been letting it run my life. That’s what he means by me getting my s**t together. Anyway. He’s started seeing someone and I feel like I’ve pushed him too far to even have a chance with him now. Will no contact work for this? I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself but because we live together I don’t think he can see the changes or the hard work that goes into those changes.

    Reply
  23. Zoey - 0

    Zoey

    Will he not move on if i restart the no contact? I haven’t contacted him at all or reacted to his posts. Should i still keep his contact or just stop stalking him..it’s really a hard process but what if he loves the other girl as time passes by? He’s going back to school and he parties a lot and he’ll be around other girls. He seems like he wants to play too. It’s hurting and depressing but how do i get him to notice me and remember i exist when he’s around other beautiful girls while in school?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      chasing wouldn’t help you..it’s not going to raise your value..keep his contact but dont stalk him

    • Zoey - 0

      Zoey

      Hi?
      I have a very tricky situation and I’m not sure how to proceed about it..
      So today i found out a conversation between my ex and his friend who is also a close friend of mine.. The conversation was before i started the no contact and it was really heartbreaking.. They always discussed a lot about me and they would say bad things about me.. They would say things like:
      I’m naive.. I’m easy to have and convince
      I love d**k
      He only accepted me back because he wanted sex and I felt he was using me.
      My ex would also tell his other friends to come try and convince me to give them sex..
      It’s frustrating and it hurts so bad and that’s not the only things they said..
      They’d also say of how stupid i am and also when my ex commented about wanting to marry.. The friend asked him if its me and my ex would tell him fuck you( meaning.. That was a stupid guess)and he would say the name of his new girl and it did hurt me that i asked his friend why they would say such things about me..
      His friend then said that it wasn’t nice that i evaded his privacy and he didn’t snatch the phone from me because he had nothing to hide..
      He also asked me why i deleted our conversations yet he wanted to show my ex and i told him its because he told me when we meet i would delete if i wanted to..
      We’ve agreed to talk tomorrow about the whole situation with the friend but i don’t know how to go about it. What should i do? What if he tells my ex about it as he wanted to before i deleted our conversation yet I’m on no contact at the momen?t..he’ll think I’m still the same coz its not the first time i found their nasty conversations about other girls..
      It’s like they just want to play..
      What would you really advice me to do if you were in my situation?
      Not forgetting to mention that during this period that I’m in no contact he unblocked me and added a pic of other girls so I wonder if he wanted me to just see .. I also wonder if the new girl is okay with him posting pics of other girls.. I’m not sure if the new girl is one of them posted but he doesn’t seem like he would want to settle.. He wants to play..
      I also don’t understand why he would give out my number during no contact and I asked him not to do it while we were still talking..
      I can’t understand his behaviour really and if he ever loved me.. Why wouldnt he let me leave yet he has plenty of girls he could get?

      All this craziness started when he found out that i cheated on him with his friend.
      What do i do really.. Do i listen to his friend ..who is also my friend then start no contact? And not contact them for a while ..it’s hurting that they talk about me that way even if they hate me.. Please help me

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      how did everything go?

    • Zoey - 0

      Zoey

      His friend explained everything to me and now i understand why he’s acting that way.
      He thinks I can give in to sex with any guy because before we started dating he already knew my story with other guys so that’s why he was saying some things and the fact that i cheated on him after we dated. He is not convinced that I’ve changed because i used to talk to his friend too so he thought that me and him had something going on.
      His friend also told me that he’s not dating the girl i thought he was dating..he probably told me that so i can stop being stubborn but they are friends.
      He’s somehow secretive so one can never know who is being told the truth.
      The friend also said that after I cheated on him,they adviced him to move on but he kept on coming back. His friends hate me except the one who i talked to and now i don’t know how to win their trust back too because we rarely meet.
      What should i do to have my ex back?

    • Zoey - 0

      Zoey

      I haven’t gotten a reply yet.. Hope you got my text

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      you just have to avoid posting going out on dates with other guys.. approach it like this one:
      Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)

    • Zoey - 0

      Zoey

      Is there any other first contact text i could use instead of. You won’t believe what i saw? I’ve used that before..please help me. My no contact is ending tomorrow and I’m happy because my ex tried calling me yesterday after not contacting me for a very long time.. He contacted me on the 28th day..it’s true that some guys take time before they contact you.. Even though he tried calling.. I didn’t pick his call. So how do i start a conversation with him with another suspense text?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      be natural.. how would open up a talk with a friend? find a common ground.. use topics he always loves to talk about.

  24. Zoey - 0

    Zoey

    What could be the reason he is doing that? It’s frustrating and I’m starting to think i have no chance with him. What do i do and I’m almost through with the 30 day no contact. I love him but I don’t know what to do.. What’s the reason he could be posting the pics and what should i do?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      you have to restart the count and be active in posting.. be natural.. don’t look like you’re trying to make him jealous.. just post your activities.. how active are you in improving and what new things are you doing? how many new friends have you made?

  25. Zoey - 0

    Zoey

    Hi?
    It’s me again..

    I’m just worried because my ex keeps on posting photos of other girls as his profile picture..
    It hurts so bad and so far i haven’t posted anything to show him I’m doing well. I’m on day 20 of no contact and I feel like he has moved on. I still don’t wanna react though. What should I do? If i post other guys pic will he not think we are trying to compete?
    I’m so confused about it. What should i do?

    Reply
  26. Alyssa - 0

    Alyssa

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 2 month ago after 4,5 years relationship. It came out of the blue because the days before he would tell me how much I meant to
    him, that he loved me and I was his everything. He even called me the night before the breakup to tell me he loved me. Then the day after he told me that he was leaving me, because he didnt have the same feelings for me and he wanted other girls. I did the begging part, but only that day. We hung out as friends but he treated me as if I was still his girlfriend. 3 weeks after he suddenly got mad over something he did, but he was blaming me for it, and I decided to cut the contact and focus on myself. I did the NC for a month, and I texted him a week after NC that I was sorry for it all ended this way and I want to be friends with him because what we had was making me happy. He didn’t answer but he saw the text. I met him at the club a week later and when I hugged him, he told me that he was sorry for ignoring me but he have had a rough time. I then texted him a couple of days later to ask if he wanted to hang out, but hasn’t responded. I know he is hanging out and talking to another girl, but this girl is totally oppisite and he has told me that he didn’t put anything into it. But that was a little over a month ago I told me. She may not be in a relationship or having anything sexual going on with guys because of her religion and her parents. They started talking one week before he broke up with me, because their class went on a schooltrip. So what should I do to get him back from here? He has told me that he also hasn’t seen the breakup coming either and he didn’t want to lose me.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      do you want to restart the nc, and do it properly this time and to follow the advice above?

  27. Alyssa - 0

    Alyssa

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 2 month ago. It came out of the blue because the days before he would tell me how much I meant to
    him, that he loved me and I was his everything. He even called me the night before the breakup to tell me he loved me. Then the day after he told me that he was leaving me, because he didnt have the same feelings for me and he wanted other girls. I did the begging part, but only that day. We hung out as friends but he treated me as if I was still his girlfriend. 3 weeks after he suddenly got mad over something he did, but he was blaming me for it, and I decided to cut the contact and focus on myself. I did the NC for a month, and I texted him a week after NC that I was sorry for it all ended this way and I want to be friends with him because what we had was making me happy. He didn’t answer but he saw the text. I met him at the club a week later and when I hugged him, he told me that he was sorry for ignoring me but he have had a rough time. I then texted him a couple of days later to ask if he wanted to hang out, but hasn’t responded. I know he is hanging out and talking to another girl, but this girl is totally oppisite and he has told me that he didn’t put anything into it. But that was a little over a month ago I told me. She may not be in a relationship or having anything sexual going on with guys because of her religion and her parents. They started talking one week before he broke up with me, because their class went on a schooltrip. So what should I do to get him back from here? He has told me that he also hasn’t seen the breakup coming either and he didn’t want to lose me.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      do you want to restart the nc, and do it properly this time and to follow the advice above?

  28. Zoey - 0

    Zoey

    Hi?
    Wrote a comment here but got no reply yet.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      that’s good that you didn’t react..just keep improving yourself and in posting..that’s your indirect way of showing you’re improving

  29. Zoey - 0

    Zoey

    Hi Amor?
    My boyfriend and i broke up two weeks ago. We had so many issues and he said he couldn’t handle me anymore or date me again.
    I was depressed about the breakup and I called him and texted him multiple times. He then blocked me and i decided to embark on no contact. It’s now 12 days after i started the no contact and I’m still holding strong.
    He then unblocked me yesterday and i also unblocked him too and then today he posted a photo of a girl. I guess his girlfriend. I wonder why he would do that just to hurt me. Did he unblock me on purpose to show me that he has moved on? I didn’t react though and I’m not gonna do it even though it hurts.
    I’m faking that I’m doing great but deep down I’m not okay. He has plenty of girls who go visit him and I doubt if he would give me a chance.
    No contact is one of the hardest thing but I’m still holding strong to it. Do i even have a chance at getting him back? He has never tried contacting me and I’m not planning to contact him. I’m improving myself, going out but I’m scared that he might have moved on to that girl. He has never posted any of my pics while we were dating so the girl seems special. What should i do to stop feeling bad about it? Do i have a chance with him? The other girls are beautiful than i am and it’s kind of an advantage for them.?what should i do to increase my chances? I love him still and it hurts.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      that’s good that you didn’t react..just keep improving yourself and in posting..that’s your indirect way of showing you’re improving

  30. Zoey - 0

    Zoey

    Hi?
    Did you receive my comment?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      that’s good that you didn’t react..just keep improving yourself and in posting..that’s your indirect way of showing you’re improving

  31. kathy2 - 0

    kathy2

    i had 2 years relationship. mostly filled with arguments because he’s hot headed and angry quickly. We had on and off relationship. When i tried to move on several times, he pulled me back because of jealousy. He also always got jealous of my male facebook friends. I had to delete them from my friend list for his security. Then one day he said he didn’t want any relationship and wanted to stay single. I accepted it after a little argument. He said he didnt love anyone else but me. We were still talking and one day we almost got intimate but i declined because we were just friends. He stopped talking to me for 2 days. Until one day, i confronted my friend who tried to get closer to him while he and I were still together back then. I removed her from my friend’s list and blocked her because I didn’t like her to be my friend. I didnt talk to him about it and didnt plan to stop their friendship. She reported it to him and made him angry. Without giving me explanation he said he hated me and that I made his life complicated. he blocked my numbers and fb. Next day he said he had a new gf and told me to move on and stop contacting him. I stopped contacting him. I later found out that his gf is his friend since long before we met. I was crushed, thinking was he was also liking her while he was with me. Or is she a rebound? He is treating me like there was nothing between us, when two days before he was getting intimate and talked to me on phone for 5 hours in one night. I also thought his reason was because it’s impossible for him to get married with me because of distance, culture, etc and the girl logically a good match for him considering those.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      it looks like a grass is greener case..

  32. Kathy - 0

    Kathy

    A week ago, my ex broke up with me, saying his reasoning was because he did not feel the spark in our relationship anymore and felt like he did not feel the same for me as before. With that said, I just accepted the break up if he couldn’t be happy with me, however, I did not really want to accept that he wanted to break up just because he felt like there was no more spark. I wanted to rekindle it and make the relationship work and we have been together for almost 2 years. So, I asked him if we would talk it out some more. The next day, I came over to his house but he was still sleeping. I just let him sleep and wait till he would wake up to talk. While waiting, his manager texted him and I was going to reply for him (his manager and him are friends outside of work and what not and we are familiar with each other). As I opened his phone I saw a message that had no contact name, just the number itself. Curiosity got over me and I opened the message and found out he was talking to another girl a few days right before he broke up with me. I confronted him and told him he basically left me for another girl and he still tried to cover himself up. I just blew up on him and left his house. He never once text or call or said anything at all. Also, I know the girl and she knows me, we met once or twice about almost 2 years ago. I know he has not talked to her before or even hung out with her before, all I know is that he has been talking to her and hanging out with her a few days before we broke up. Despite all of this, I still want my relationship to work. I don’t know if it’s because he is my first everything but I still love him dearly. I forgive him for what he did, and I can really get passed for what he did because he never cheated before. I have not contacted him ever since I blew up on him and he has not contacted me. I talked to a couple friends about this situation and they all believe that he will talk to me again, but possibly as a rebound. But some of his friends are saying that the other girl is the rebound. Either way, I am waiting for the day he does contact me again. I just need more reassurance of how and why he would actually contact me other than what my friends told me. Thank you for your time.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      You mean, to predict if he would contact you? That’s hard.. I can’t assure with that.. but do you want to try the no contact rule?

  33. AJ - 0

    AJ

    Years ago, my ex (A) and I met thru a common friend of ours and we started communicating. He courted me for a month and a half and I accepted him so then we had our first relationship together. During our relationship, I had an affair with different guys and because I don’t want to lie to him, I admitted my fault and he had forgiven me (he even cried) until one day, I went to our province, me and my ex (not him) got reconciled again so I broke up with him (A) because I don’t want to hurt him at all but he didn’t agree with it but I forced him to because of my conscience. During those years that we got separated, we had relationship with other people but he never failed to show me how much he loved me and he’ll always be there for me. So after few years of separation, we got back together so we celebrated our 5th year anniversary. Unfortunately, few months had passed, I’ve found out that he’s already with someone so I was so hurt and I even had the courage to congratulate him and said goodbye. A month or so, he tried to communicate with me again and apologized for what he did and because I loved him so much even if it hurts me a lot, I still chose to forgive him. So we got back together. He tried to broke up with his rebound but the girl didn’t let him. She even warned him that she’ll kill herself if he ever left her. (Pathetic indeed!) So I suggested him so many ways on how he will get rid of her but no action was taken. Recently, I got into a relationship with another guy and we had sex. I told him about our relationship cause I loved him that much and I don’t really want to lie to him so I let him (A) know. As expected, he was hurt but I didn’t expect him to be that so mad at me that he even end up blocking me thru his messenger (from his 2 Facebook accounts so that I won’t be able to contact him thru those. Before he blocked me, we argued about my relationship with my bf. I even apologized and said sorry for what I did but he hated me so much. I even told him that I only did that because I was really hurt cause I don’t see any effort from him to get rid of her. I even promised that I will stay away from him, and even from my boyfriend. I also told him that it was really him that I love and not my boyfriend. I was so hurt when he told me that he loves me so much that I will always remain in his heart. And now, he’s avoiding me. I don’t know what to think but I decided to give him so much time and space to think things over because he was so mad and hurt for what I did and I understand him. I missed him so badly but I also respect his privacy. I may not be sure but I’m hoping that one day, he’ll forgive me and get back together. I want to know if there’s still a chance that he’ll forgive me? Will we get back together again and start anew? What will I do to win him back? Is there’s still a chance for us? I know we still love each other just like what he said to me before he said goodbye. I loved him so much that I don’t want to lose him forever.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      if he just needs space, then the no contact rule is the proper way for you to go.

  34. Melissa - 0

    Melissa

    I dated my ex for about a year. We did everything together. Super close. It was not too long after moving apart from my babys dad (but we were broken up for a while before that). When I moved out, the breakup of my “family” hit me a little harder. I needed a little space to process it all but the new bf wouldn’t give me that. On top of my needing space, he was being jealous too much. Then he had some tragic life events which made me feel I needed to be there for him. I tried but the no-space brought some resentment and I became b1tchy at times and when I realized, I again told him I need space. I couldn’t move on fully from my past if he didn’t give me time to process the loss. I didn’t want us to be ruined. But he didn’t give me a lot of space. And i was too nice to tell him otherwise so we still had sleepovers and hung out. Then…. I broke up with him. Still loved each other. Still talked sometimes for about a month.
    After a month or so I needed a dance partner last minute for a perfomance, he introduced me to a new friend of his, to help. That person and I would be together for hours every day for a few days. I could feel chemistry brewing so I told the guy we had to be careful because of how we met, we cannot be more than friends. He agreed. Next thing we knew (a couple days) we kissed and there began something with me and him. We didnt let my ex that introduced us know. Although he sensed something and wanted the guy to stop talking to me. By the way, the ex was trying to use this guy to spy on me (the guy told me) at practices, see who picks me up, etc and that made me angry. After about 3 months, the guy and I had a fallout and he left for a vacation. During the last month of that though, sometimes we all were in the same group hanging out, ex, new guy, me. My ex and I still hung out time to time casually. He did his best to stay around.

    Then after a week one of the new guys common friends with my ex told him about the whole thing(August 2016). My ex was furious. Give me and the new guy shit for weeks. New guy blamed it all on me somehow. Ex hated me. After a few weeks i couldn’t take the verbal abuse and cut ties. Then ex came and apolagized for nasty things he said. He was moving back to another province where his brother and family friends lived since he had no one in my city basically but me. We spent a lot of time together before he left. It was like we were dating. We said our goodbyes on the last day. Exchanged a bracelet and necklace of sentimental value. We still talked and missed each other for about 3months. During that i would try to distance myself from him because i wanted to be healthy and missing him was emotionally draining, on top of him getting on my case time to time bringing up the past. He left the country for a few months to help family. We still connected here n there on snapchat. I had a little flirtation here during that time. January he was back in the country (diff province). We talked and still sent each other songs about how we feel (love/miss etc). By mid feb, I had a dream he moved on. I told him my dream and he didnt comment much. We talked fairly regularly, he would urge me to move on subtly at times whilst also telling me he loves me or misses me. I also told him about the guy I had a thing with too for open/honesty sake. Two weeks of us talking passed, then he tells me he’s seeing someone. I was horrified and angry because he hid it. Anyway he said its not serious and its new. The whole thing was he loved me but couldn’t get over the anger of feeling betrayed by me and that guy. He would talk to me, when he enjoys our talks he feels angry too because of what I did. He said he’s tired of being angry and mourning the loss of me. He wanted space. Until he “dissacociates everything” music and such.
    We get into march and around march 14 we had a talk where he ended up telling me to stop talking for a while. After about a week he sent me a song that talks about missing me and thinking about me, wanting me back. (He’s a musician so speaks via music). He also called me twice and messaged me saying he doesn’t hate me he just needs this. And that we both do, hopefully once this storm has passed he will get to see the rainbow. And hoping i understand, he’s still there for me and my daughter, just not presently. I didn’t respond for a week. (I was not avoiding talking to him) then I said I said i was too preoccupied with some things goin on and I’ll respond when I can. I did after another week sending a brief message saying do what you have to do. Thanking him for the msg. And told him hes a beautiful soul. Since then (apr 3) i sent a couple snaps on snapchat. Had very short few sentence chats. He watches my snaps regular. Like within a couple hours he usally checks my story. So i know he’s quietly watching what I’m upto. I post normally as I do. I post inspirational type things and even a performance pic/video here and there. We havent spoken in a few days and I don’t want to lose contact for too long. I am visiting his city for a few days May 4th. He actually asked me when i was going (that was our last msg) so he knows. But its not to visit him (although i would love to see him). I am pretty sure he’s still dating that girl. I don’t know what to think of it.
    Any advice?? Insight? That would help me a lot..

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      try at least 30 day nc and then follow the advice above

  35. Ayu - 0

    Ayu

    Hello is there a chance to get my ex boyfriend back when he has a girlfriend

    On 6/4/17 it was my birthday and my ex greeted me through texts (I did the NC for 20 days before my birthday) We texts each other like forever because I miss him but not showing my emotions.We texts each other for 2 days.Last night I told him to texts me again tomorrow because he was tired from work so I let him rest.Then this morning he stopped texting me and suddenly I saw his Whatsapp status his name with other girl’s name & and I Know her. I was really sad until I texts him and asking him the truth who’s he’s hiding but he didn’t reply until now.

    Before and after the break up he told me before that he was tired to fall in love with someone else and he wants me to study first so i accept it and wait for me to return.But why can’t he just tell me the truth about her instead of lying to me

    What should I do? I still love him and is there a chance to fix this after make a mistake?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hi ayu,
      do you want to try the advice above?

  36. Kristine - 0

    Kristine

    My situation has gotten sticky.
    My ex has rebounded. This I know for sure, not only because the relationship began as revenge as he thought I had moved on to somebody new. But also because of his words and actions.
    There was a point where he was angry with me for no reason whatsoever other than being hurt about how we ended. We went no contact for three weeks and he contacted me. We became friends but it ended with hurt feelings. After that he would continue to keep an eye on me and found out about someone he thought I was with, and proceeded to jump into a relationship.
    All of his family and friends were shocked. Nobody had expected us to end or for him to find someone new. His cousin and I are still best friends and she tells me how they always pick on him for leaving me because I was “the one that got away” and he himself even says he doesn’t know if he likes the girl. But he’s with her. I lost hope… until I was forced to talk to him again about some health issue we needed to resolve. I gave him the info. He was rude and inconsiderate. So I proceeded to tell him I would figure everything out and we had no further need to communicate because I didn’t want this for me anymore. He never replied… until a few days later when I never got back to him he called me. Asked me to meet him in person but wouldn’t say why. I asked him if he absolutely needed me, he said yes. So I went.
    We talked about the issue but he kept bringing up our relationship issues… he kept wanting to know why things had happened. I tried to avoid discussing it but he would always come back to it. We got to the point where he said he didn’t respond because he felt bad, and I would talk about the past.. (ironically this is what he was doing ha) and got to the point where he asked if I really thought he just forgot about a whole year together, and proceeded to say “I wasn’t over it, I’m still not over you..” and then mentioned that he had to get over me though because he couldn’t go back as he has already caused this girl to develop feelings. So he’s still with her and going along with it…
    I know he misses me. Because I close the conversation and he finds a reason to reopen it.
    I just know that he belongs with me, he knows it, but she’s in the way…
    Should I let it play itself out? Or what moves do I make?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      you can still use the advice above.. what you need to do is to make your presence feel but not give the benefits and to keep having your own life.. when you talk, have fun but when you have fun on your own, really have fun and don’t answer him that day or at least do but do it at the end of the day.

  37. Aurora - 0

    Aurora

    It’s almost been a year since my boyfriend of two years broke up. I broke up with him. I was going through a bad episode of depression and broke up with him to both save him and get rid of him as he hated dealing with it. I didn’t contact him for months, but rang him drunk recently. He says his new girlfriend is his “soulmate” and that they plan to move in together in three years! They’ve been together since October 2016. I miss him all the time and I still dream of him. My new boyfriend is better in every regards except for the bedroom (sadly). I need help.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Aurora,

      If you dont love your current, break up with him..It’s better to be single than be with someone you dont love.. if you want to get your ex back.. rebuild rapport slowly but improve yourself first

  38. M - 0

    M

    Me and my ex work in the same office. We are in marriagable age. We were in a relationship for 3 years. After that he broke up with me in 2015 end, saying that his parents are not ready to accept me. I was devastated first as I loved him so much. Then I did NC, while he was busy searching suitable girl for marriage. In mid 2016, he came to me saying he made a mistake by leaving me and would try again with his parents. By that time I was already moving on (even though I was not in a relationship with any one) but as he was all begging n crying, I forgave him. Everything was going good till last month. But now he has again become distant. I asked him what is the reason behind all these. He said his parents have chosen a girl for him and he is helpless. I can also see that girl commenting /liking his post on social media and can guess that they are in a engagement kind of thing. Now what should I do? I am literally shattered again. My major problem is I have to see him every day and it kills me. Can’t even change the job as its a very good one. Please suggest me something.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi M,

      if you can ask to be moved to a different time or department. Because if you really cant live, and he marries that girl, what would be your next plan?

  39. Jill - 0

    Jill

    My boyfriend and I worked together for a year and a half. In the middle, we realized we really liked each other. I wasn’t ready for a relationship but we started hanging out and one thing led to another. He wanted to move faster physically than I was ready for. I needed more trust and emotional intimacy and I pushed back by oversharing and trying to create a safe place for him to open up but also came up with potential deal breakers because it was too much for me. He started growing distant and we broke up. We had some lovely times together but there was so many outside stressors, including that we worked together which at the time He said was most of the problem. He was the supervisor and was worried about getting caught.
    I really cared about him and because we saw each other every day, my feelings intensified and I missed him and saw what I did wrong. I asked him to talk and after saying yes and canceling 3 times, a month after we broke up, we met and I apologized. I told him I was in love with him but didn’t ask for a second chance. He thanked me and we parted. Later that week my gut told me something was off and I found out he was dating someone new.
    I was totally broken. We got into a mini argument at work which we worked out.
    They stopped and some bad stuff happened in his life and I tried to be as respectful and supportive as I could. Our texting turned to sexting – he initiated – 4 months later. He set up time and plans for us to meet but kept canceling “something came up” .. Finally I initiated. He wanted to make sure I knew we weren’t in a relationship and I said OK as long as we were going that way. It was not great.. he showed no intimacy and no affection and was even critical like trying to damper any emotions. He wanted me to leave right after and the only indication he gave for the future was “we’re not there yet” and “we’ll see”… At this point I knew I couldn’t be in that limbo… If he had been kind and respectful and appreciative, sure even with the “we’ll see”… Ultimately I couldn’t handle it and told him how I felt. He said sorry I can’t return your feelings. He wanted to keep things good between us. Within a few weeks he was deep into another relationship with someone completely the opposite of me… I quit and left…we were friendly at work superficially before. We didn’t actually say goodbye either. Anyway.. We worked together for a long time. We had a significant emotional connection. I guess I’m wondering if I was just a placeholder or if I mattered to him on a deeper level that he wasn’t ready to admit. Thanks for “listening”

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Jill,

      so you’re actually moving on? That’s hard to answer because you know him better but if he was really serious with you, he would have showed it.

    • Jill - 0

      Jill

      Hi – I don’t know what you mean by “actually moving on”.. I quit because it was too painful and I want to be respectful but I’m wondering psychologically if going from seeing each other every day and that being a major factor in or break up to no contact could show him how he really feels about me. On any case, there is nothing else I can do.. I guess I’m just hoping there’s… Hope.. Thanks

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      I mean are you stopping trying to get him back? As in moving on life. Yes, if he’s used to seeing you everyday and then you went into no contact, it can help raise the chances of making him think..

  40. Sonia - 0

    Sonia

    My ex boyfriend cheated on me and is now in a relationship with her after knowing her for 5-6 months. is this a rebound relationship and do I have a chance at getting him back?

    Reply
    • Sonia - 0

      Sonia

      Also forgot to mention he moved stuff into her house after knowing her for 3 months.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi,

      dont rush at trying to get him back.. it will not take just a week to get him back..that’s why you need to implement the being there method and to keep improving yourself for him to think you’re the better choice but at the same time not be too available for him to think he will lose you if he doesn’t man up

  41. Genavive - 0

    Genavive

    Hello,I recently broke up with my boyfriend mid to late February.We starting seeing each other in late December our Xmas and later became official our relationship didn’t last very long but was very meaningful for the both of us.We had no problems at all within in our relationship and we got along together very well.The reason why we broke up is because he had been in love with someone that has been a friend to him for almost 10 years but never had he courage to tell them that he loved her.Now the two of them are together ,they got together not long at ALL after we broke up.After my ex and I broke up I was speaking to him on and off but it started to become regular and we would talk on the phone at it felt like old times for the both of us.I made a really huge mistake by texting him I miss him and I wanted us to meet up he but he felt uncomfortable about the idea as he said he didn’t want to risk his new relationship also his new partner saw the message and obviously got annoyed and said what she had to say about how I should leave him alone and find somebody else. So his new partner and I had a little argument via text,the day after I messaged my ex apologising for what I said but he was annoyed with me and said we shouldn’t talk any more. I know it’s very early but I’ve been trying to move on but I’m finding it difficult because now I ruined my chance of getting him back when I know I shouldn’t of messaged him in the first place.

    Ps sorry for the really long message

    Reply
  42. Brittany - 0

    Brittany

    I also forgot to mention in my comment. This is the first girl to ever meet his parents other then me… they go away together st the same school. But when they aren’t at school they love 5.5 hours apart.. so what do you think?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Brittany,

      if he said he missed you while with her, shes5 probably a rebound.. you can still try nc and do at least 30 days..

  43. Brittany - 0

    Brittany

    I dated this kid since we were 15 to 20. He kept breaking up with me and then wanting me back. I finally tried my best to move on and dated someone else. While dating this other person my ex had me blocked on everything. Then one day I confronted him cause I found out he made out with another girl while dating me. That’s when he started writing me letters, sending me flowers and buying me my favorite candy and sorry cards. I told him I was scared to be with him because he kept hurting me so I refused to see him while he was home on break for school for a month. When he went back to school he started to change towards me and I started to regret not seeing him. And told him that maybe we could work this out. Then he pulled the “now that I’m back at school you want me again.” But I guess because he found a new girl. I don’t mean to sound rude. But she’s heavy and just doesn’t seem like his type. He blocked me on everything and posted a snap of her which was a picture of his gf and his mom… so since she met his parents and they been dating for a month does this mean they are serious and I have no chance? Not to mention he messaged me 2 weeks ago that he missed me and had a dream about me. WHILE dating this girl… then he blocks me off everything and finally decides to post something of her? Help cause I’m confused. What do you think it is?

    Reply
  44. angel - 0

    angel

    hello!!
    i was in a relationship for 3.5 years with my ex bf bt currently he suddenly sent me a msg that he has left me i was super shocked bcoz he didnt discuss anything abt any problm i used to thought we were happy bcoz he didn’t complaint abt anything than i asked him to proove me that he is in relationhe sent me their chat screenshot i still didnt believe than he made a call to me n his new gf told me that i am his gf now i hope u believe i believed bt than he asked me to remain frnd i was like ok ok bt than i called him to meet me he agreed i asked abt how they went n relation after listening everything i lost my temper n i hitted him very badly (my biggest mistake m so guilty abt it coz i nvr thought i would do this ) while he is very agressive bt still he didnt say a single word only that sorry n he told me that i m responsible for this brkup i was so hurt i cried alot he continually looked at me than i said i will block u n i came out of car bt he followed me for a while than said why r u going like this he was sweating so much i said nothing bt only that i cant believe it n after coming home i blocked himbt i could nt control my anger n here i did wht i should nt i msged his new gf unblocked him n msged him he got angry that cant u give us peace n all bt i want him backcoz i love him so much is there any chance?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Angel,

      did he cheat on you? If he did, shouldn’ he be the one worried and guilty? Right now, are you going to do the no contact rule?

  45. Kay - 0

    Kay

    my ex and I dated for almost 10 months. he broke up with me a couple weeks ago saying he’s stressed with “work and school and other activities” and doesn’t want to worry about me. he said he still loves me and cares about me but can’t do a relationship because he’s stressed. I went to a party and he showed up 10 minutes after I got there and I was talking to a guy friend and he got jealous. we had a long conversation the next day in person about why he is so jealous if he doesn’t want to be with me? so he told me we should just be on a “break” because neither of us wanted to talk to other people. then about 5 days later he texts me and says he doesn’t want a break anymore because he doesn’t like that I’m confident in myself, and he thinks it’s arrogance. now I feel like it’s just an excuse and can’t figure out the real reason! he talks to many girls and then tells me they all have boyfriends when I don’t ask. and I think he has a crush on a new girl (but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t feel the same). I try my absolutely best to initiate the NCR but he finds a reason to message me EVERYDAY, and if I leave him alone and he messages me about dumb situations and I try to tell him the actual truth, he flips out on me and tells me to leave him alone when I have been. I’m so dang confused. PLEASE HELP!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kay

      the only solution is to just stick to nc..dont reply unless it’s an emergency

  46. Elle - 0

    Elle

    I dated my ex for about two years but then broke up with him due to being in different stages of your lives, as well as being in different states. We both needed to grow on our own. 6 months after breaking up we met a few times for coffee and had a really great time. A few months later he called me when I cam back to our hometown but did not realize he had called until I left again. Now a year after that call and 1.5 years after breaking up I still want him back but found out he has a new girlfriend. I am so torn about what to do. I don’t want to ruin his new relationship but also can’t stand the thought of just sitting and waiting. I’m unsure if I truly want him back or the comfort and familiarity of being with him. I am just at a loss for how I should feel and what to do.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Elle,

      you have to decide first. If you really want him back, the truth is you are going against his current relationship..We can’t sugarcoat that.. That’s just the truth.. If you proceed follow the advice on this one:
      Getting Him Back After A Year (Or More) Apart

  47. Aki - 0

    Aki

    Hi. Ive been with my ex for almost 3years. I found out that he’s cheating on me.. He denied it and wants to work on our relationship, but he’s still lying to me and seeing this girl still and making stories to her that we’re done for a long time..
    He still makes me believe that he cant allow himself to lose me and i was the girl he wants to marry..
    I made a converstion for the three of us in messenger, and he denied that he loves me and chose the new girl.. And now he stop texting me, but hiding their relatiinship on fb with me.
    Do i still need to chase him back? Or should i give up?
    Pkease enlighten me

    Reply
  48. Lucy - 0

    Lucy

    Do I have any chance of getting him back?

    I dated this guy for a year but we broke up because of me being unsure and scared of us getting caught ( my parents don’t allow me to date and would punish me severely if I was to be caught) but we didn’t stop talking ever we didn’t go out again officially but we were still sort of together and then I developed feelings for his friend who I wanted to like me back but honestly thinking about that I only wanted that for validation purposes and didn’t actually want to be with him my ex got really sad but never really told me about anything he still looked happy and we kissed and everything like that in secret but then he cheated on me with a girl he hasn’t met but only talks to on Skype he says he loves me but not like that and he wants to date her but they’re young and have no means of closing the distance for at least a few years so is it really worth it. I love him it took too long to realise it and he wants me to be his best friend like I was but today I accidentally slapped him because he kept calling me his friend and I got frustrated I don’t want friendship I want him back do I have a chance I’m willing to do anything for him I really care. I know I really hurt him told him he wasn’t good enough for me and all sorts but that was all in a haze of insecurity I still loved him then just didn’t realise it I took him for granted he loved me loads and in a way he still does but doesn’t know if he can come back to me because it hurt too much but still wants me in his life and doesn’t want me seeing other guys. What should I do? No contact?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Lucy,

      First, does that mean you’re going to make it official with your parents if you ever get back together?

  49. Clara - 0

    Clara

    I was in a long distance relationship for 1 year and a half at the beginning I was in a close city and we used to see each other very often ( at least once a month ) sometimes I spent weeks in his appartment. he introduced me to all his friends and colleagues and we had a great time then I had a great opportunity to go study in another continent for one year. He encouraged me to go but then weeks before flying there he wanted to break up we talked for a long time and decided to give it a try and make it work then he surprised me with a visit in my town the same week. I went to the new country and he also travelled to another country for a month, we were texting and skyping a lot we missed each other so much and our feeling were so strong so we booked an exotic trip together. I was so excited, and counting the days before we can see each other again but he suddenly became distant and we talked less and less especially with the jet lag and I could say that he kind of started regretting booking that trip as it was really far. the day came and we met in this country we spent a magical holiday. but as soon as he got back to his town he stopped calling me I was always initiating the call … I finished my degree and came back to my city and he again wanted to break up as I couldn’t find a job in his city and he couldn’t stand the long distance even if I am closer now but we again decided to make it work and we traveled together weeks after that we were really good until he came to visit me and said that we had a great time but that his feelings dropped as we don’t see each other a lot, he said that we may get back together someday if we were still single and in the same city but that for now he doesn’t want a virtual life and his feelings are not strong enough to make it work.
    He left me devastated as since I came back I haven’t stopped looking for a job in his city, I loved him soo much, we had really good time whenever we met, he changed me and made me happier and more outgoing, he was a very nice guy and I always wanted to make him the happiest man on earth.
    when he left I got a temporary job in my city while still looking for a job in his city , I kept talking to him casually as if nothing happened and as a friend for some months then I started the NC after 2 weeks he texted me asking for my news and asked me how my job search in his city is going, I still haven’t managed to get a job there as it’s very competitive then he said that he is sure I am going to be happy and find a good job … I then started to talk to him again more often as a friend asking him for advices etc and he always replied sometimes I just send him pics of something he likes and that reminded me of him … I wanted to visit his city and he said that he can offer me his couch whenever I wanted and that he can even leave me his apartment when he will travel this month. But then I got a lot of work and cancelled the visit, this week I he posted pics with a girl travelling with him I talked to him and he said that she is his girlfriend. I got crazy because I thought we can still be together and that he still had feelings so I went crazy texting him asking him if she was the reason he broke up and telling him that I still love him and that I am trying as hard as I can to get a job in his city … then he said that it’s not because of her but because he didn’t have feelings for me anymore but that what we had was true but felt more like holidays than a serious relationship and that he wanted to break up many times until he felt it wasn’t possible to continue like that. I asked if he was serious with her now he didn’t answer then I apologise and I told him I wish she can make him happy as I couldn’t. he just said no problem.
    I feel so devastated and hopeless like we just really broke up and this time there is no chance of getting back together. I still want to get a job in his city not just to be with him but he was the main reason.
    I am so confused, heartbroken and hopeless now I don’t know if I should just give up on him or chase him up.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi,

      It’s never ok to chase. And why is it that you’re the only one wanting to move? Can’t he move to yours? Right now, try a 45 day nc. Stick to it.. If at the end you still want to try, the follow the advice above.

  50. Lucie - 0

    Lucie

    I was in a long distance relationship for 1 year and a half at the beginning I was in a close city and we used to see each other very often ( at least once a month ) sometimes I spent weeks in his appartment. he introduced me to all his friends and colleagues and we had a great time then I had a great opportunity to go study in another continent for one year. He encouraged me to go but then weeks before flying there he wanted to break up we talked for a long time and decided to give it a try and make it work then he surprised me with a visit in my town the same week. I went to the new country and he also travelled to another country for a month, we were texting and skyping a lot we missed each other so much and our feeling were so strong so we booked an exotic trip together. I was so excited, and counting the days before we can see each other again but he suddenly became distant and we talked less and less especially with the jet lag and I could say that he kind of started regretting booking that trip as it was really far. the day came and we met in this country we spent a magical holiday. but as soon as he got back to his town he stopped calling me I was always initiating the call … I finished my degree and came back to my city and he again wanted to break up as I couldn’t find a job in his city and he couldn’t stand the long distance even if I am closer now but we again decided to make it work and we traveled together weeks after that we were really good until he came to visit me and said that we had a great time but that his feelings dropped as we don’t see each other a lot, he said that we may get back together someday if we were still single and in the same city but that for now he doesn’t want a virtual life and his feelings are not strong enough to make it work.
    He left me devastated as since I came back I haven’t stopped looking for a job in his city, I loved him soo much, we had really good time whenever we met, he changed me and made me happier and more outgoing, he was a very nice guy and I always wanted to make him the happiest man on earth.
    when he left I got a temporary job in my city while still looking for a job in his city , I kept talking to him casually as if nothing happened and as a friend for some months then I started the NC after 2 weeks he texted me asking for my news and asked me how my job search in his city is going, I still haven’t managed to get a job there as it’s very competitive then he said that he is sure I am going to be happy and find a good job … I then started to talk to him again more often as a friend asking him for advices etc and he always replied sometimes I just send him pics of something he likes and that reminded me of him … I wanted to visit his city and he said that he can offer me his couch whenever I wanted and that he can even leave me his apartment when he will travel this month. But then I got a lot of work and cancelled the visit, this week I he posted pics with a girl travelling with him I talked to him and he said that she is his girlfriend. I got crazy because I thought we can still be together and that he still had feelings so I went crazy texting him asking him if she was the reason he broke up and telling him that I still love him and that I am trying as hard as I can to get a job in his city … then he said that it’s not because of her but because he didn’t have feelings for me anymore but that what we had was true but felt more like holidays than a serious relationship and that he wanted to break up many times until he felt it wasn’t possible to continue like that. I asked if he was serious with her now he didn’t answer then I apologise and I told him I wish she can make him happy as I couldn’t. he just said no problem.
    I feel so devastated and hopeless like we just really broke up and this time there is no chance of getting back together. I still want to get a job in his city not just to be with him but he was the main reason.
    I am so confused, heartbroken and hopeless now I don’t know if I should just give up on him or chase him up.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi,

      It’s never ok to chase. And why is it that you’re the only one wanting to move? Can’t he move to yours? Right now, try a 45 day nc. Stick to it.. If at the end you still want to try, the follow the advice above.

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