Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

It can really hurt when an ex boyfriend (who you still have feelings for) seemingly moves on to another girl. For many women out there they lose all hope of getting their ex back. Others will get angry and immediately look to start or cause a fight. Rarely will you ever come across one that does the smartest thing, stack the odds in her favor! That is really what this page is all about, how to get your ex boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend by stacking the odds in your favor.

If you haven’t already read my epic article on how to get your ex boyfriend back I suggest you drop everything for the next 30 minutes (yes 30 minutes) and go read it.

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Remember The Most Important Thing

Before you take any major steps to getting your ex boyfriend back it is important that you implement the No Contact Rule. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into that. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.

If you don’t have the patience to read that entire page let me sum up some of the most important points for you.

No Contact Rule Main Points

  • No contact what-so-ever for 30 days (1 full month.)
  • This means no texting, calling, emailing, letters, facebook stalking or Googling.
  • During your 30 day freeze out make sure you improve yourself both mentally and physically.

You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing and you are going to want to contact your ex very badly (and you are definitely not going to have many good things to say.)

How Did He Get His New Girlfriend?

New Girlfriend

(Disclaimer: I promised myself that I was going to use this page to legitimately help people. So, I feel that this section is important. While this may not be a section about how to get him back it is a section that is something I added in to prevent you from making a big mistake, going after a guy that will only hurt you very deeply again.)

Believe it or not but how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline three situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that you should be trying to get back and one of the situations is going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back. Let’s begin.

Situation 1– You broke up with your ex, realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. If you are in this situation then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex boyfriend back.

Situation 2– He broke up with you and later got a new girlfriend. Again, this is a really common situation and you are free to go ahead and try to get him back.

Situation 3- He left you for another girl. He was either cheating or was in love with someone else. Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here, this guy is not someone that you should want to get back with. Sure, you can try to get him back but he needs to prove to you that he is trustworthy.

4 Truths To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back With A New Girlfriend

truth

This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Let’s explore!

Truth 1: Not contacting your ex is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong. Getting mad, breaking down and texting your ex a hateful message about his new girlfriend isn’t going to help your ultimate goal is it? Instead, be cool and don’t worry, every dog has it’s day.

Truth 2: It’s not always easy dating someone new. Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is uncomfortable in his new relationship. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step..

Truth 3: Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. Lucky for you rebound relationships don’t last forever. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships are bound to fail. So, the odds are in your favor just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. Remember, if you freak out you are going to make a lot of mistakes and mistakes aren’t going to help get you two back together.

Truth 4: It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things (like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup) he will remember all the good things. This can definitely work in your favor.

How To Cope

coping

It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else. I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Remember, just because he is dating someone new doesn’t mean your chances are gone completely. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you.

Keep The Focus On You- Try your best not to obsess over his situation. You can’t control what he does but you can control what you do. Go out and have fun. Make new friends. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself.

It’s Not Your Fault- Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did or something that they could not provide. Dating isn’t always black and white like that. Whatever happens, make sure you don’t let an ex boyfriends actions affect how you feel.

Accept That There Will Be Pain- You are not a robot. You can’t just turn off your feelings. It’s ok to feel pain over the situation but once that pain starts creeping into your everyday life and effecting how you live then you have problems.

Beware Of The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome- This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page. Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back once they see him with someone new. If you find that you are in this situation be very careful about proceeding to get him back. You may need to go back and do some serious searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.

Resist Any Comparisons- It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new (hopefully temporary) girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all.

Are There Any Actions You Can Take To Help Your Cause?

actions to take

So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze. Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control. I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use. However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

(Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.)

Watch For Trouble Signs- No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Each one has it’s ups and downs. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you.

Initiate Contact Via Text Message- Test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.

Be Very Nice To Him And His New Girlfriend- If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it.

February 1, 2017

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (3,500)

  1. Melissa - 0

    Melissa

    I dated my ex for about a year. We did everything together. Super close. It was not too long after moving apart from my babys dad (but we were broken up for a while before that). When I moved out, the breakup of my “family” hit me a little harder. I needed a little space to process it all but the new bf wouldn’t give me that. On top of my needing space, he was being jealous too much. Then he had some tragic life events which made me feel I needed to be there for him. I tried but the no-space brought some resentment and I became b1tchy at times and when I realized, I again told him I need space. I couldn’t move on fully from my past if he didn’t give me time to process the loss. I didn’t want us to be ruined. But he didn’t give me a lot of space. And i was too nice to tell him otherwise so we still had sleepovers and hung out. Then…. I broke up with him. Still loved each other. Still talked sometimes for about a month.
    After a month or so I needed a dance partner last minute for a perfomance, he introduced me to a new friend of his, to help. That person and I would be together for hours every day for a few days. I could feel chemistry brewing so I told the guy we had to be careful because of how we met, we cannot be more than friends. He agreed. Next thing we knew (a couple days) we kissed and there began something with me and him. We didnt let my ex that introduced us know. Although he sensed something and wanted the guy to stop talking to me. By the way, the ex was trying to use this guy to spy on me (the guy told me) at practices, see who picks me up, etc and that made me angry. After about 3 months, the guy and I had a fallout and he left for a vacation. During the last month of that though, sometimes we all were in the same group hanging out, ex, new guy, me. My ex and I still hung out time to time casually. He did his best to stay around.

    Then after a week one of the new guys common friends with my ex told him about the whole thing(August 2016). My ex was furious. Give me and the new guy shit for weeks. New guy blamed it all on me somehow. Ex hated me. After a few weeks i couldn’t take the verbal abuse and cut ties. Then ex came and apolagized for nasty things he said. He was moving back to another province where his brother and family friends lived since he had no one in my city basically but me. We spent a lot of time together before he left. It was like we were dating. We said our goodbyes on the last day. Exchanged a bracelet and necklace of sentimental value. We still talked and missed each other for about 3months. During that i would try to distance myself from him because i wanted to be healthy and missing him was emotionally draining, on top of him getting on my case time to time bringing up the past. He left the country for a few months to help family. We still connected here n there on snapchat. I had a little flirtation here during that time. January he was back in the country (diff province). We talked and still sent each other songs about how we feel (love/miss etc). By mid feb, I had a dream he moved on. I told him my dream and he didnt comment much. We talked fairly regularly, he would urge me to move on subtly at times whilst also telling me he loves me or misses me. I also told him about the guy I had a thing with too for open/honesty sake. Two weeks of us talking passed, then he tells me he’s seeing someone. I was horrified and angry because he hid it. Anyway he said its not serious and its new. The whole thing was he loved me but couldn’t get over the anger of feeling betrayed by me and that guy. He would talk to me, when he enjoys our talks he feels angry too because of what I did. He said he’s tired of being angry and mourning the loss of me. He wanted space. Until he “dissacociates everything” music and such.
    We get into march and around march 14 we had a talk where he ended up telling me to stop talking for a while. After about a week he sent me a song that talks about missing me and thinking about me, wanting me back. (He’s a musician so speaks via music). He also called me twice and messaged me saying he doesn’t hate me he just needs this. And that we both do, hopefully once this storm has passed he will get to see the rainbow. And hoping i understand, he’s still there for me and my daughter, just not presently. I didn’t respond for a week. (I was not avoiding talking to him) then I said I said i was too preoccupied with some things goin on and I’ll respond when I can. I did after another week sending a brief message saying do what you have to do. Thanking him for the msg. And told him hes a beautiful soul. Since then (apr 3) i sent a couple snaps on snapchat. Had very short few sentence chats. He watches my snaps regular. Like within a couple hours he usally checks my story. So i know he’s quietly watching what I’m upto. I post normally as I do. I post inspirational type things and even a performance pic/video here and there. We havent spoken in a few days and I don’t want to lose contact for too long. I am visiting his city for a few days May 4th. He actually asked me when i was going (that was our last msg) so he knows. But its not to visit him (although i would love to see him). I am pretty sure he’s still dating that girl. I don’t know what to think of it.
    Any advice?? Insight? That would help me a lot..

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      try at least 30 day nc and then follow the advice above

  2. Ayu - 0

    Ayu

    Hello is there a chance to get my ex boyfriend back when he has a girlfriend

    On 6/4/17 it was my birthday and my ex greeted me through texts (I did the NC for 20 days before my birthday) We texts each other like forever because I miss him but not showing my emotions.We texts each other for 2 days.Last night I told him to texts me again tomorrow because he was tired from work so I let him rest.Then this morning he stopped texting me and suddenly I saw his Whatsapp status his name with other girl’s name & and I Know her. I was really sad until I texts him and asking him the truth who’s he’s hiding but he didn’t reply until now.

    Before and after the break up he told me before that he was tired to fall in love with someone else and he wants me to study first so i accept it and wait for me to return.But why can’t he just tell me the truth about her instead of lying to me

    What should I do? I still love him and is there a chance to fix this after make a mistake?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hi ayu,
      do you want to try the advice above?

  3. Kristine - 0

    Kristine

    My situation has gotten sticky.
    My ex has rebounded. This I know for sure, not only because the relationship began as revenge as he thought I had moved on to somebody new. But also because of his words and actions.
    There was a point where he was angry with me for no reason whatsoever other than being hurt about how we ended. We went no contact for three weeks and he contacted me. We became friends but it ended with hurt feelings. After that he would continue to keep an eye on me and found out about someone he thought I was with, and proceeded to jump into a relationship.
    All of his family and friends were shocked. Nobody had expected us to end or for him to find someone new. His cousin and I are still best friends and she tells me how they always pick on him for leaving me because I was “the one that got away” and he himself even says he doesn’t know if he likes the girl. But he’s with her. I lost hope… until I was forced to talk to him again about some health issue we needed to resolve. I gave him the info. He was rude and inconsiderate. So I proceeded to tell him I would figure everything out and we had no further need to communicate because I didn’t want this for me anymore. He never replied… until a few days later when I never got back to him he called me. Asked me to meet him in person but wouldn’t say why. I asked him if he absolutely needed me, he said yes. So I went.
    We talked about the issue but he kept bringing up our relationship issues… he kept wanting to know why things had happened. I tried to avoid discussing it but he would always come back to it. We got to the point where he said he didn’t respond because he felt bad, and I would talk about the past.. (ironically this is what he was doing ha) and got to the point where he asked if I really thought he just forgot about a whole year together, and proceeded to say “I wasn’t over it, I’m still not over you..” and then mentioned that he had to get over me though because he couldn’t go back as he has already caused this girl to develop feelings. So he’s still with her and going along with it…
    I know he misses me. Because I close the conversation and he finds a reason to reopen it.
    I just know that he belongs with me, he knows it, but she’s in the way…
    Should I let it play itself out? Or what moves do I make?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      you can still use the advice above.. what you need to do is to make your presence feel but not give the benefits and to keep having your own life.. when you talk, have fun but when you have fun on your own, really have fun and don’t answer him that day or at least do but do it at the end of the day.

  4. Aurora - 0

    Aurora

    It’s almost been a year since my boyfriend of two years broke up. I broke up with him. I was going through a bad episode of depression and broke up with him to both save him and get rid of him as he hated dealing with it. I didn’t contact him for months, but rang him drunk recently. He says his new girlfriend is his “soulmate” and that they plan to move in together in three years! They’ve been together since October 2016. I miss him all the time and I still dream of him. My new boyfriend is better in every regards except for the bedroom (sadly). I need help.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Aurora,

      If you dont love your current, break up with him..It’s better to be single than be with someone you dont love.. if you want to get your ex back.. rebuild rapport slowly but improve yourself first

  5. M - 0

    M

    Me and my ex work in the same office. We are in marriagable age. We were in a relationship for 3 years. After that he broke up with me in 2015 end, saying that his parents are not ready to accept me. I was devastated first as I loved him so much. Then I did NC, while he was busy searching suitable girl for marriage. In mid 2016, he came to me saying he made a mistake by leaving me and would try again with his parents. By that time I was already moving on (even though I was not in a relationship with any one) but as he was all begging n crying, I forgave him. Everything was going good till last month. But now he has again become distant. I asked him what is the reason behind all these. He said his parents have chosen a girl for him and he is helpless. I can also see that girl commenting /liking his post on social media and can guess that they are in a engagement kind of thing. Now what should I do? I am literally shattered again. My major problem is I have to see him every day and it kills me. Can’t even change the job as its a very good one. Please suggest me something.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi M,

      if you can ask to be moved to a different time or department. Because if you really cant live, and he marries that girl, what would be your next plan?

  6. Jill - 0

    Jill

    My boyfriend and I worked together for a year and a half. In the middle, we realized we really liked each other. I wasn’t ready for a relationship but we started hanging out and one thing led to another. He wanted to move faster physically than I was ready for. I needed more trust and emotional intimacy and I pushed back by oversharing and trying to create a safe place for him to open up but also came up with potential deal breakers because it was too much for me. He started growing distant and we broke up. We had some lovely times together but there was so many outside stressors, including that we worked together which at the time He said was most of the problem. He was the supervisor and was worried about getting caught.
    I really cared about him and because we saw each other every day, my feelings intensified and I missed him and saw what I did wrong. I asked him to talk and after saying yes and canceling 3 times, a month after we broke up, we met and I apologized. I told him I was in love with him but didn’t ask for a second chance. He thanked me and we parted. Later that week my gut told me something was off and I found out he was dating someone new.
    I was totally broken. We got into a mini argument at work which we worked out.
    They stopped and some bad stuff happened in his life and I tried to be as respectful and supportive as I could. Our texting turned to sexting – he initiated – 4 months later. He set up time and plans for us to meet but kept canceling “something came up” .. Finally I initiated. He wanted to make sure I knew we weren’t in a relationship and I said OK as long as we were going that way. It was not great.. he showed no intimacy and no affection and was even critical like trying to damper any emotions. He wanted me to leave right after and the only indication he gave for the future was “we’re not there yet” and “we’ll see”… At this point I knew I couldn’t be in that limbo… If he had been kind and respectful and appreciative, sure even with the “we’ll see”… Ultimately I couldn’t handle it and told him how I felt. He said sorry I can’t return your feelings. He wanted to keep things good between us. Within a few weeks he was deep into another relationship with someone completely the opposite of me… I quit and left…we were friendly at work superficially before. We didn’t actually say goodbye either. Anyway.. We worked together for a long time. We had a significant emotional connection. I guess I’m wondering if I was just a placeholder or if I mattered to him on a deeper level that he wasn’t ready to admit. Thanks for “listening”

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Jill,

      so you’re actually moving on? That’s hard to answer because you know him better but if he was really serious with you, he would have showed it.

    • Jill - 0

      Jill

      Hi – I don’t know what you mean by “actually moving on”.. I quit because it was too painful and I want to be respectful but I’m wondering psychologically if going from seeing each other every day and that being a major factor in or break up to no contact could show him how he really feels about me. On any case, there is nothing else I can do.. I guess I’m just hoping there’s… Hope.. Thanks

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      I mean are you stopping trying to get him back? As in moving on life. Yes, if he’s used to seeing you everyday and then you went into no contact, it can help raise the chances of making him think..

  7. Sonia - 0

    Sonia

    My ex boyfriend cheated on me and is now in a relationship with her after knowing her for 5-6 months. is this a rebound relationship and do I have a chance at getting him back?

    Reply
    • Sonia - 0

      Sonia

      Also forgot to mention he moved stuff into her house after knowing her for 3 months.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi,

      dont rush at trying to get him back.. it will not take just a week to get him back..that’s why you need to implement the being there method and to keep improving yourself for him to think you’re the better choice but at the same time not be too available for him to think he will lose you if he doesn’t man up

  8. Genavive - 0

    Genavive

    Hello,I recently broke up with my boyfriend mid to late February.We starting seeing each other in late December our Xmas and later became official our relationship didn’t last very long but was very meaningful for the both of us.We had no problems at all within in our relationship and we got along together very well.The reason why we broke up is because he had been in love with someone that has been a friend to him for almost 10 years but never had he courage to tell them that he loved her.Now the two of them are together ,they got together not long at ALL after we broke up.After my ex and I broke up I was speaking to him on and off but it started to become regular and we would talk on the phone at it felt like old times for the both of us.I made a really huge mistake by texting him I miss him and I wanted us to meet up he but he felt uncomfortable about the idea as he said he didn’t want to risk his new relationship also his new partner saw the message and obviously got annoyed and said what she had to say about how I should leave him alone and find somebody else. So his new partner and I had a little argument via text,the day after I messaged my ex apologising for what I said but he was annoyed with me and said we shouldn’t talk any more. I know it’s very early but I’ve been trying to move on but I’m finding it difficult because now I ruined my chance of getting him back when I know I shouldn’t of messaged him in the first place.

    Ps sorry for the really long message

    Reply
  9. Brittany - 0

    Brittany

    I also forgot to mention in my comment. This is the first girl to ever meet his parents other then me… they go away together st the same school. But when they aren’t at school they love 5.5 hours apart.. so what do you think?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Brittany,

      if he said he missed you while with her, shes5 probably a rebound.. you can still try nc and do at least 30 days..

  10. Brittany - 0

    Brittany

    I dated this kid since we were 15 to 20. He kept breaking up with me and then wanting me back. I finally tried my best to move on and dated someone else. While dating this other person my ex had me blocked on everything. Then one day I confronted him cause I found out he made out with another girl while dating me. That’s when he started writing me letters, sending me flowers and buying me my favorite candy and sorry cards. I told him I was scared to be with him because he kept hurting me so I refused to see him while he was home on break for school for a month. When he went back to school he started to change towards me and I started to regret not seeing him. And told him that maybe we could work this out. Then he pulled the “now that I’m back at school you want me again.” But I guess because he found a new girl. I don’t mean to sound rude. But she’s heavy and just doesn’t seem like his type. He blocked me on everything and posted a snap of her which was a picture of his gf and his mom… so since she met his parents and they been dating for a month does this mean they are serious and I have no chance? Not to mention he messaged me 2 weeks ago that he missed me and had a dream about me. WHILE dating this girl… then he blocks me off everything and finally decides to post something of her? Help cause I’m confused. What do you think it is?

    Reply
  11. angel - 0

    angel

    hello!!
    i was in a relationship for 3.5 years with my ex bf bt currently he suddenly sent me a msg that he has left me i was super shocked bcoz he didnt discuss anything abt any problm i used to thought we were happy bcoz he didn’t complaint abt anything than i asked him to proove me that he is in relationhe sent me their chat screenshot i still didnt believe than he made a call to me n his new gf told me that i am his gf now i hope u believe i believed bt than he asked me to remain frnd i was like ok ok bt than i called him to meet me he agreed i asked abt how they went n relation after listening everything i lost my temper n i hitted him very badly (my biggest mistake m so guilty abt it coz i nvr thought i would do this ) while he is very agressive bt still he didnt say a single word only that sorry n he told me that i m responsible for this brkup i was so hurt i cried alot he continually looked at me than i said i will block u n i came out of car bt he followed me for a while than said why r u going like this he was sweating so much i said nothing bt only that i cant believe it n after coming home i blocked himbt i could nt control my anger n here i did wht i should nt i msged his new gf unblocked him n msged him he got angry that cant u give us peace n all bt i want him backcoz i love him so much is there any chance?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Angel,

      did he cheat on you? If he did, shouldn’ he be the one worried and guilty? Right now, are you going to do the no contact rule?

  12. Kay - 0

    Kay

    my ex and I dated for almost 10 months. he broke up with me a couple weeks ago saying he’s stressed with “work and school and other activities” and doesn’t want to worry about me. he said he still loves me and cares about me but can’t do a relationship because he’s stressed. I went to a party and he showed up 10 minutes after I got there and I was talking to a guy friend and he got jealous. we had a long conversation the next day in person about why he is so jealous if he doesn’t want to be with me? so he told me we should just be on a “break” because neither of us wanted to talk to other people. then about 5 days later he texts me and says he doesn’t want a break anymore because he doesn’t like that I’m confident in myself, and he thinks it’s arrogance. now I feel like it’s just an excuse and can’t figure out the real reason! he talks to many girls and then tells me they all have boyfriends when I don’t ask. and I think he has a crush on a new girl (but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t feel the same). I try my absolutely best to initiate the NCR but he finds a reason to message me EVERYDAY, and if I leave him alone and he messages me about dumb situations and I try to tell him the actual truth, he flips out on me and tells me to leave him alone when I have been. I’m so dang confused. PLEASE HELP!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kay

      the only solution is to just stick to nc..dont reply unless it’s an emergency

  13. Elle - 0

    Elle

    I dated my ex for about two years but then broke up with him due to being in different stages of your lives, as well as being in different states. We both needed to grow on our own. 6 months after breaking up we met a few times for coffee and had a really great time. A few months later he called me when I cam back to our hometown but did not realize he had called until I left again. Now a year after that call and 1.5 years after breaking up I still want him back but found out he has a new girlfriend. I am so torn about what to do. I don’t want to ruin his new relationship but also can’t stand the thought of just sitting and waiting. I’m unsure if I truly want him back or the comfort and familiarity of being with him. I am just at a loss for how I should feel and what to do.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Elle,

      you have to decide first. If you really want him back, the truth is you are going against his current relationship..We can’t sugarcoat that.. That’s just the truth.. If you proceed follow the advice on this one:
      Getting Him Back After A Year (Or More) Apart

  14. Aki - 0

    Aki

    Hi. Ive been with my ex for almost 3years. I found out that he’s cheating on me.. He denied it and wants to work on our relationship, but he’s still lying to me and seeing this girl still and making stories to her that we’re done for a long time..
    He still makes me believe that he cant allow himself to lose me and i was the girl he wants to marry..
    I made a converstion for the three of us in messenger, and he denied that he loves me and chose the new girl.. And now he stop texting me, but hiding their relatiinship on fb with me.
    Do i still need to chase him back? Or should i give up?
    Pkease enlighten me

    Reply
  15. Lucy - 0

    Lucy

    Do I have any chance of getting him back?

    I dated this guy for a year but we broke up because of me being unsure and scared of us getting caught ( my parents don’t allow me to date and would punish me severely if I was to be caught) but we didn’t stop talking ever we didn’t go out again officially but we were still sort of together and then I developed feelings for his friend who I wanted to like me back but honestly thinking about that I only wanted that for validation purposes and didn’t actually want to be with him my ex got really sad but never really told me about anything he still looked happy and we kissed and everything like that in secret but then he cheated on me with a girl he hasn’t met but only talks to on Skype he says he loves me but not like that and he wants to date her but they’re young and have no means of closing the distance for at least a few years so is it really worth it. I love him it took too long to realise it and he wants me to be his best friend like I was but today I accidentally slapped him because he kept calling me his friend and I got frustrated I don’t want friendship I want him back do I have a chance I’m willing to do anything for him I really care. I know I really hurt him told him he wasn’t good enough for me and all sorts but that was all in a haze of insecurity I still loved him then just didn’t realise it I took him for granted he loved me loads and in a way he still does but doesn’t know if he can come back to me because it hurt too much but still wants me in his life and doesn’t want me seeing other guys. What should I do? No contact?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Lucy,

      First, does that mean you’re going to make it official with your parents if you ever get back together?

  16. Clara - 0

    Clara

    I was in a long distance relationship for 1 year and a half at the beginning I was in a close city and we used to see each other very often ( at least once a month ) sometimes I spent weeks in his appartment. he introduced me to all his friends and colleagues and we had a great time then I had a great opportunity to go study in another continent for one year. He encouraged me to go but then weeks before flying there he wanted to break up we talked for a long time and decided to give it a try and make it work then he surprised me with a visit in my town the same week. I went to the new country and he also travelled to another country for a month, we were texting and skyping a lot we missed each other so much and our feeling were so strong so we booked an exotic trip together. I was so excited, and counting the days before we can see each other again but he suddenly became distant and we talked less and less especially with the jet lag and I could say that he kind of started regretting booking that trip as it was really far. the day came and we met in this country we spent a magical holiday. but as soon as he got back to his town he stopped calling me I was always initiating the call … I finished my degree and came back to my city and he again wanted to break up as I couldn’t find a job in his city and he couldn’t stand the long distance even if I am closer now but we again decided to make it work and we traveled together weeks after that we were really good until he came to visit me and said that we had a great time but that his feelings dropped as we don’t see each other a lot, he said that we may get back together someday if we were still single and in the same city but that for now he doesn’t want a virtual life and his feelings are not strong enough to make it work.
    He left me devastated as since I came back I haven’t stopped looking for a job in his city, I loved him soo much, we had really good time whenever we met, he changed me and made me happier and more outgoing, he was a very nice guy and I always wanted to make him the happiest man on earth.
    when he left I got a temporary job in my city while still looking for a job in his city , I kept talking to him casually as if nothing happened and as a friend for some months then I started the NC after 2 weeks he texted me asking for my news and asked me how my job search in his city is going, I still haven’t managed to get a job there as it’s very competitive then he said that he is sure I am going to be happy and find a good job … I then started to talk to him again more often as a friend asking him for advices etc and he always replied sometimes I just send him pics of something he likes and that reminded me of him … I wanted to visit his city and he said that he can offer me his couch whenever I wanted and that he can even leave me his apartment when he will travel this month. But then I got a lot of work and cancelled the visit, this week I he posted pics with a girl travelling with him I talked to him and he said that she is his girlfriend. I got crazy because I thought we can still be together and that he still had feelings so I went crazy texting him asking him if she was the reason he broke up and telling him that I still love him and that I am trying as hard as I can to get a job in his city … then he said that it’s not because of her but because he didn’t have feelings for me anymore but that what we had was true but felt more like holidays than a serious relationship and that he wanted to break up many times until he felt it wasn’t possible to continue like that. I asked if he was serious with her now he didn’t answer then I apologise and I told him I wish she can make him happy as I couldn’t. he just said no problem.
    I feel so devastated and hopeless like we just really broke up and this time there is no chance of getting back together. I still want to get a job in his city not just to be with him but he was the main reason.
    I am so confused, heartbroken and hopeless now I don’t know if I should just give up on him or chase him up.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi,

      It’s never ok to chase. And why is it that you’re the only one wanting to move? Can’t he move to yours? Right now, try a 45 day nc. Stick to it.. If at the end you still want to try, the follow the advice above.

  17. Lucie - 0

    Lucie

    I was in a long distance relationship for 1 year and a half at the beginning I was in a close city and we used to see each other very often ( at least once a month ) sometimes I spent weeks in his appartment. he introduced me to all his friends and colleagues and we had a great time then I had a great opportunity to go study in another continent for one year. He encouraged me to go but then weeks before flying there he wanted to break up we talked for a long time and decided to give it a try and make it work then he surprised me with a visit in my town the same week. I went to the new country and he also travelled to another country for a month, we were texting and skyping a lot we missed each other so much and our feeling were so strong so we booked an exotic trip together. I was so excited, and counting the days before we can see each other again but he suddenly became distant and we talked less and less especially with the jet lag and I could say that he kind of started regretting booking that trip as it was really far. the day came and we met in this country we spent a magical holiday. but as soon as he got back to his town he stopped calling me I was always initiating the call … I finished my degree and came back to my city and he again wanted to break up as I couldn’t find a job in his city and he couldn’t stand the long distance even if I am closer now but we again decided to make it work and we traveled together weeks after that we were really good until he came to visit me and said that we had a great time but that his feelings dropped as we don’t see each other a lot, he said that we may get back together someday if we were still single and in the same city but that for now he doesn’t want a virtual life and his feelings are not strong enough to make it work.
    He left me devastated as since I came back I haven’t stopped looking for a job in his city, I loved him soo much, we had really good time whenever we met, he changed me and made me happier and more outgoing, he was a very nice guy and I always wanted to make him the happiest man on earth.
    when he left I got a temporary job in my city while still looking for a job in his city , I kept talking to him casually as if nothing happened and as a friend for some months then I started the NC after 2 weeks he texted me asking for my news and asked me how my job search in his city is going, I still haven’t managed to get a job there as it’s very competitive then he said that he is sure I am going to be happy and find a good job … I then started to talk to him again more often as a friend asking him for advices etc and he always replied sometimes I just send him pics of something he likes and that reminded me of him … I wanted to visit his city and he said that he can offer me his couch whenever I wanted and that he can even leave me his apartment when he will travel this month. But then I got a lot of work and cancelled the visit, this week I he posted pics with a girl travelling with him I talked to him and he said that she is his girlfriend. I got crazy because I thought we can still be together and that he still had feelings so I went crazy texting him asking him if she was the reason he broke up and telling him that I still love him and that I am trying as hard as I can to get a job in his city … then he said that it’s not because of her but because he didn’t have feelings for me anymore but that what we had was true but felt more like holidays than a serious relationship and that he wanted to break up many times until he felt it wasn’t possible to continue like that. I asked if he was serious with her now he didn’t answer then I apologise and I told him I wish she can make him happy as I couldn’t. he just said no problem.
    I feel so devastated and hopeless like we just really broke up and this time there is no chance of getting back together. I still want to get a job in his city not just to be with him but he was the main reason.
    I am so confused, heartbroken and hopeless now I don’t know if I should just give up on him or chase him up.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi,

      It’s never ok to chase. And why is it that you’re the only one wanting to move? Can’t he move to yours? Right now, try a 45 day nc. Stick to it.. If at the end you still want to try, the follow the advice above.

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