It can really hurt when an ex boyfriend (who you still have feelings for) has moved on to another girl. Many women lose all hope of getting their ex back when they learn their boyfriend has taken up with a new girlfriend. Others will get angry and immediately look to start a fight, lashing out out their ex. Rarely will you ever come across one that does the smart thing, stacking the odds in her favor!
So how do you win back an ex who is with someone else? Well, my short, expert answer is:
To maximize your chances of success of getting your ex boyfriend back if he already has a girlfriend you should recognize the focus must be on you creating value in yourself and and finding ways to make your ex see how you are becoming what I call, the Ungettable Girl.
Learning how to get your ex back even if he has a new girlfriend is not going to entirely rest entirely on making him jealous. Nor is it going to depend on you sabotaging their relationship (that tactic rarely works and usually backfires). It’s going to take a full commitment to rising above the hateful feelings that might be bubbling up. I know the feeling of rejection cannot feel worse under these circumstances.
But if you are trying to get back an ex boyfriend who has moved on and now hates you more because of the ugliness that ensued upon you learning he is now with someone else, you need to implement a strategic plan
So don’t dig a deeper hole for yourself.
By the way, if you haven’t already read my epic article on how to get your ex boyfriend back I suggest you drop everything for the next 30 minutes (yes 30 minutes) and go read it!
7 New Signs That Your Ex Has Moved On and Now Is With Someone Else?
Is it possible you can spot when your boyfriend is slipping away? In the back of your mind, you may already suspect your boyfriend is with someone else. And clearly there are telltale signs you can spot that will point to him slipping out of your life. But what if he is already your ex, but it hasn’t been that long since the breakup.
Perhaps part of you is still hoping for a reconciliation. You may be thinking this falling out you have had with your ex boyfriend won’t last long. You may think that it has happened in the past, so certainly the two of you will find a way to work it out.
That is what many girls think when a breakup occurs. There is often a certain degree of disbelieve, a suspension of acceptance to the new relationship situation. You may never think that your ex would have a new girlfriend after a month or even sooner. But it happens.
So what signs are there that speak to whether ” does he still like me or has he moved on to a new girlfriend”?
After all, that is what you will come to fear as days go by without hearing from your ex. You will wonder “how could my ex move on so quickly”. You may think to yourself, “my ex has moved on but I haven’t and it hurts.”
There are 7 signs that point to your ex boyfriend moving on from you emotionally and finding another girl. Whether she stole his heart or he was already involved with her before the breakup is something we will take up later. But for now, what are the signs your ex is falling for another girl or is already involved with a new girlfriend since you guys busted up.
1. You are hearing rumors of sightings of your ex boyfriend with another girl.
2. When you check your ex boyfriend’s social media pages (Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram), you are seeing pictures and stories that leave you out, but consistently includes a new face of a new girl.
3. Your ex, who use to still text you even after the break up, has gone silent and is not responsive to your texts.
4. In an effort not to hurt you further, your ex boyfriend tells you that he went out on double date or was hanging out with another girl, but it’s not serious. Truth be told, your ex likely wouldn’t go out of his way to tell you this unless something more was going on. Guilt is playing on his mind.
5. Your ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend posts pics on Facebook or Snapchat of her and your ex together.
6. He tells you that he needs some space and is through with girls, yet you know from your experience he loves women and is always in their company.
7. Your ex boyfriend blocks you from seeing his social media pages, cutting all other ties with you immediately after your questioning of whether he is dating someone else. In effect, he is doing a sloppy job of trying to cover his tracks.
10 Signs That Your Boyfriend Has NOT Moved On or Given Up On You
Sometimes, after a breakup, you will come to fear that your ex will move on and replace you with some other girl he knows or has talked about. This fear can be paralyzing and occupy hours of your day as your obsess over whether your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend or how to deal with this if it should happen.
You may dream of fantasy scenarios where you discover your ex now has a new girl in his life, but since you want him back quickly, you will pull off some dramatic sequence of events that will miraculously bring your him back to you. If you are afflicted with such thoughts, what you probably need to do is take a deep breath and remind yourself you can’t know everything and nor can you control all his decisions.
But there are some signs that reveal your ex has NOT moved on. They include:
1. There is no evidence or rumors or whispers that your ex boyfriend has been seen with anyone else
2. You and your ex have only been broken up for a few days and communications are not completely cut off.
3. Your ex boyfriend still initiates contact, checking up on you.
4. When reviewing your ex boyfriend’s Facebook page, Shapchat or Instagram stories, there is no signs of another female in his life.
5. You know his former girlfriend and there is no new stirrings on her social media accounts or whispers that she wants back with her ex.
6. The breakup between you and your ex was relatively civil and did not involve harsh accusations or threats.
7. It has only been a few days or weeks since the two of you split up without any obvious evidence pointing to a new gal on the horizon.
8. There were no previous signs of your ex boyfriend cheating on you while the relationship was ongoing.
9. There is no history of your ex being unfaithful to you or with any of his other girlfriends of the past.
10. You are hearing and have come to believe that this breakup has been hard on your ex boyfriend.
Remember The Most Important Thing Is To Have a Strategy
Before you do anything rash in trying to help your ex boyfriend realize that his new girlfriend is NOT as good as you, it’s important that you understand the role the No Contact Rule plays in this whole process. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into this principle. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.
If you don’t have the patience to read that entire page, let me sum up some of the most important points for you.
No Contact Does Not Mean You Are Giving Up On Your Ex Just Because He Has Found a New Lady Friend!
What it means is that you are going to be smart and fist focus on your own recovery, while at the same time increase your own value as he perceives you. So how does this principle work?
- No contact means no communications what so ever for 30 days (1 full month.)
- It means no texting, calling, emailing, letters, Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram messaging to him or stalking or Googling.
- During your 30 day freeze out, make sure you improve yourself both mentally and physically, bettering your game in multiple areas of your life.
You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has fallen for a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing. You are going to want to contact your ex very badly and you probably are not going to have many good things to say. So don’t go there. It only hurts you inside and hurts your chances.
Now before we get into what your game plan should consist of, let’s preview 5 common queries you may have:
1. How on earth did you ex boyfriend end up with a new girlfriend?
2. How is it that he seemingly replaced you with a new woman?
3. In what way did you fail him that he could so easily start up a new thing with this girl?
4. Why did your ex boyfriend so quickly start up a new relationship?
5. Is It normal for an ex to have a new girlfriend only after a few days?
5 New Case Study Situations That Explain How and Why Your Ex Got His New Girlfriend. Is He Worth It? Should You Get Him Back?
Sometimes, trying to keep the hope alive that you can get your ex boyfriend back is unfair to you. Certain relationship situations can evolve to a place where working to get him back could be a big mistake, maybe bigger than getting involved with him in the first place.
So when we have situations where an breakup has happened and an ex boyfriend discards you for another girlfriend both swiftly and with an air of arrogance and insensitivity, you need to think long and hard before going after a guy that may very well only hurt you very deeply again.
Believe it or not, how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline five situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that would be worthwhile to pursue and three of the situations are going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back. Let’s begin.
Situation 1 – You Initiate The Break Up and He Finds A New Girlfriend
You broke up with your boyfriend, then realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. The breakup was clean and you handled it well and he took it well, except he was clearly damaged by your decision. If you are in this situation, then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex back of you genuinely feel the problems you both experienced can be overcome. The relationship he is in now could be a rebound or it could flame out. It is also possible he is playing the jealousy card.
Situation 2 – He Leaves You and Steps Into a Rebound Relationship
He broke up with you and perhaps thinking that the grass is greener, decided to try out the field. Eventually he settles in with a new woman and already you can see his over the top expectations with his new found “love” could lead to problems. Again, this is a really common situation and you may discover his new found lover is far from the right match. So it would be worth going forward with your action plan.
Situation 3- He Cheated On You During the Relationship and Lied
He left you for another girl. That hurts a lot. But then you learn later that he has been cheating on you the entire time the two of you were together. Then he says he wants to still sleep with you, though he is still with this other woman. Really? Was he ever in love with you? Were you his rebound for this other girlfriend in his life? Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here. This guy is not someone that you should want to get back with.
Situation 4: Your Ex Boyfriend Is Dating Your Sister
The two of you fought a lot. You were never convinced if you could trust him. The relationship did not last very long. You both went your on ways, pretty disgusted with each other, though the sex was great. In fact, it was so good, you both ended up together in bed shortly after the breakup. But now you have learned your ex boyfriend is dating your sister. In this case, my advice is hands off. This guy is already demonstrated he is trouble and unreliable. Despite the awesome sex, you are far better off taking your awesome self on another path and find another guy.
Situation 5: Your Ex Cheated On You With Your Best Friend
So you find yourself in a situation where you can’ t decide who you should be more angry and disgusted with. Your ex or your best friend. And while you still have feelings for your ex boyfriend, you can’t get the images of the two of them out of your mind. Neither of them realize that you are on to them. It’s decision time. What do you do? In this case, it is a sort of no win situation as everybody is losing something. So you confront them both. They both lie. Then you provide proof and everything collapses from there. Now everyone is on their on, with plenty of confused, hurt, and hard feelings to go around. My advise to you is to keep it that way. Your ex bf crossed a big line. And so did your best friend. So I recommend you just utilize an extended no contact period and allow for the chips to fall where they may, but keeping the focus on your own self recovery.
5 Wicked Truths To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back When A New Girlfriend Is In the Picture
This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Let’s explore!
Truth 1: Don’t Communicate With Your Ex and His New Girlfriend – Leave Them Alone
Not contacting your ex and is new girl is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong. Getting mad, breaking down and texting your ex a hateful message about his new girlfriend isn’t going to help your ultimate goal is it? Instead, be cool and don’t worry, every dog has it’s day.
Truth 2: Allow Time For Your Ex Boyfriend’s New Relationship to Falter
It’s not always easy dating someone new. Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is not as comfortable in his new relationship as you may have thought. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step…
Truth 3: If It’s a Rebound Relationship It Will Blow Up On Its On
Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. Lucky for you, rebound relationships don’t last forever. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships are bound to fail. So, the odds are in your favor. Just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. Don’t add fuel to their relationship. Remember, if you freak out you are going to make a lot of mistakes and mistakes aren’t going to help get you two back together.
Truth 4: Your Ex Boyfriend Will Grow To Miss You As Time Goes By
It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets, the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things (like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup) he will remember all the good things, particularly when he is constantly forced to compare you against the realities of his new girlfriend. His notion that she would be so great for him, may likely not pan out, thereby increasing your value. This can definitely work in your favor.
Truth 5: You Can Be Strategic During The No Contact Period To Enhance Your Value
This is probably the most important truth and ex recovery strategy of them all. You should not be sitting idly by. You are going to be using this time to heal and striving to become the best version of YOU. And you are going to see to it that you ex boyfriend notices all these wonderful changes. So too will his new girlfriend. So how do you win back your ex who is shacking up with another girl, someone of his supposed dreams? You make sure that you portray the view of somebody who is happy, beautiful, ungettable, sexy, and AVAILABLE. So you are going to employ some little jealousy traps and many other value building activities and tactics.
New Ways To Cope If Your Ex Left You For Another Woman
It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else. I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Remember, just because he is dating someone new doesn’t mean your chances are gone completely. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you.
5 Frequently Asked Questions and What You Should Know and How To Cope
Here is a rundown on the kind of thoughts and questions many women have when dealing with an ex who has found him someone else. Here is what you may be thinking and why its OK.
1. He left me for someone else and I am wondering if it will last?
Just know that these kinds of relationships with a new lady often have a short fuse. Don’t panic. Give it at least 3 months before you draw any meaningful conclusions. But don’t wait on him. Get busy with life.
2. My ex boyfriend left me for someone else he loves more. Will he ever come back to me?
You really can’t be sure if this new girlfriend in his world loves him or if he loves her. Appearances, particularly after a breakup, can be misleading. So give time a chance to unwind the truth of their relationship. Your ex certainly won’t come back if you approach the situation with desperation or begging. What you want to do is have a plan to get yourself noticed by him in a positive way.
3. What do you do if your ex leaves you for another and then he still wants to be friends with you?
You need to be careful here that you don’t get involved in a friends with benefits situation. He left you for a reason. Maybe it’s not a good reason. Maybe he is not the right man for you. Perhaps you still want him back. I would caution you about remaining a real good friend if you want him again, because it will send him conflicting signals that he might still be able to be with you and have casual sex. Its better to employ a strategy of No Contact and explore that angle first, before you opt to be just a friend.
4. My ex boyfriend dropped me and is now dating my co-worker.
Your game plan should not change. Certainly, things might be somewhat more awkward, but there could be some positives you can take from this situation. If your co-worker who is now dating your ex comes into work one day with tears, then maybe something good/bad is happening. Also, there may be times when you see them together at the work setting (before or after work). You can use this opportunity to make a classy appearance, showcasing your wonderful, happy looking self.
5. My ex left me for someone else and now wants me back as he says we deserve another chance.
That seems awful convenient for him. So how do you deal with being dumped for someone else, then he comes crawling back? Should you just take him back in, forgiving your ex for his foolishness? Of course, exactly what you do depends on your history and other circumstances, but I would caution you to move slowly. If you have not had adequate time to deal with the pain and hurt of what he did to you, tell him you need time. If he can’t accept that, then he is not worth pursuing. And if you choose to restart the relationship, do so like you are dating for the first time. Do it in small steps. No sex on the first or second dates. He needs to demonstrate he regrets his decision.
5 Ways To Heal After Learning Your Ex Is Involved With Somebody Else
1. Keep The Focus On You
Try your best not to obsess over his situation and this new girl. You can’t control what he does but you can control what your own actions. Go out and have fun. Make new friends. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself.
2. It’s Not Your Fault He Chased After This New Girlfriend
Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did wrong or something that they could not provide. Dating isn’t always black and white like that. Whatever happens, make sure you don’t let an ex boyfriends actions affect how you feel about yourself.
3. Accept That There Will Be Pain
You are not a robot. You can’t just turn off your feelings. It’s OK to feel pain over the situation, but once that pain starts creeping into your everyday life and effecting how you live then you have problems.
4. Beware Of The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome
This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page. Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back, just because someone else has them. They may be disgusted by his actions and may not even want him any longer, but can’t stand the thought of another woman with him at this time. If you find that you are in this situation, be very careful about proceeding to get him back or ruining his efforts. You may need to go back and do some serious soul searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.
5. Resist Any Comparisons
It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new (hopefully temporary) girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all. Just know that you have your own special qualities that no one can duplicate.
3 Clever Actions You Can Take To Help Your Ex Recovery Cause
So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze. Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control.
I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use! However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.
(Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.)
1. Watch For Trouble Signs
No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Each one has it’s ups and downs. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you.
2. Initiate Contact Via Text Message
At the right time, test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.
3. Be Very Nice To Him And His New Girlfriend
If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response, be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting, but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it. Remember, you are becoming the Ungettable girl. You don’t need to trash her or him because he blew by letting you go and she is probably way out of his league.