It can really hurt when an ex boyfriend (who you still have feelings for) has moved on to another girl. Many women lose all hope of getting their ex back when they learn their boyfriend has taken up with a new girlfriend. Others will get angry and immediately look to start a fight, lashing out out their ex.  Rarely will you ever come across one that does the smart thing, stacking the odds in her favor!

So how do you win back an ex who is with someone else?  Well, my short, expert answer is:

To maximize your chances of success of getting your ex boyfriend back if he already has a girlfriend you should recognize the focus must be on you creating value in yourself and and finding ways to make your ex see how you are becoming what  I call, the Ungettable Girl.

Learning how to get your ex back even if he has a new girlfriend is not going to entirely rest entirely on making him jealous.  Nor is it going to depend on you sabotaging their relationship (that tactic rarely works and usually backfires).  It’s going to take a full commitment to rising above the hateful feelings that might be bubbling up.  I know the feeling of rejection cannot feel worse under these circumstances.

But if you are trying to get back an ex boyfriend who has moved on and now hates you more because of the ugliness that ensued upon you learning he is now with someone else, you need to implement a strategic plan

So don’t dig a deeper hole for yourself.

By the way, if you haven’t already read my epic article on how to get your ex boyfriend back I suggest you drop everything for the next 30 minutes (yes 30 minutes) and go read it!

7  New Signs That Your Ex Has Moved On and Now Is With Someone Else?

Is it possible you can spot when your boyfriend is slipping away?  In the back of your mind, you may already suspect your boyfriend is with someone else.  And clearly there are telltale signs you can spot that will point to him slipping out of your life.  But what if he is already your ex, but it hasn’t been that long since the breakup.

Perhaps part of you is still hoping for  a reconciliation.  You may be thinking this falling out you have had with your ex boyfriend won’t last long. You may think that it has happened in the past, so certainly the two of you will find a way to work it out.

That is what many girls think when a breakup occurs.  There is often a certain degree of disbelieve, a suspension of acceptance to the new relationship situation.  You may never think that your ex would have a new girlfriend after a month or even sooner.  But it happens.

So what signs are there that speak to whether ” does he still like me or has he moved on to a new girlfriend”?

After all, that is what you will come to fear as days go by without hearing from your ex.  You will wonder “how could my ex move on so quickly”.  You may think to yourself, “my ex has moved on but I haven’t and it hurts.”

There are 7 signs that point to your ex boyfriend moving on from you emotionally and finding another girl.  Whether she stole his heart or he was already involved with her before the breakup is something we will take up later.  But for now, what are the signs your ex is falling for another girl or is already involved with a new girlfriend since you guys busted up.

1. You are hearing rumors of sightings of your ex boyfriend with another girl.

2. When you check your ex boyfriend’s social media pages (Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram), you are seeing pictures and stories that leave you out, but consistently includes a new face of a new girl.

3. Your ex, who use to still text you even after the break up, has gone silent and is not responsive to your texts.

4. In an effort not to hurt you further, your ex boyfriend tells you that he went out on double date or was hanging out with another girl, but it’s not serious.  Truth be told, your ex likely wouldn’t go out of his way to tell you this unless something more was going on.  Guilt is playing on his mind.

5. Your ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend posts pics on Facebook or Snapchat of her and your ex together.

6. He tells you that he needs some space and is through with girls, yet you know from your experience he loves women and is always in their company.

7. Your ex boyfriend blocks you from seeing his social media pages, cutting all other ties with you immediately after your questioning of whether he is dating someone else.  In effect, he is doing a sloppy job of trying to cover his tracks.

10 Signs That Your Boyfriend Has NOT Moved On or Given Up On You

Sometimes, after a breakup, you will come to fear that your ex will move on and replace you with some other girl he knows or has talked about.  This fear can be paralyzing and occupy hours of your day as your obsess over whether your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend or how to deal with this if it should happen.

You may dream of fantasy scenarios where you discover your ex now has a new girl in his life, but since you want him back quickly, you will pull off some dramatic sequence of events that will miraculously bring your him back to you.    If you are afflicted with such thoughts, what you probably need to do is take a deep breath and remind yourself you can’t know everything and nor can you control all his decisions.

But there are some signs that reveal your ex has NOT moved on.  They include:

1. There is no evidence or rumors or whispers that your ex boyfriend has been seen with anyone else

2. You and your ex have only been broken up for a few days and communications are not completely cut off.

3. Your ex boyfriend still initiates contact, checking up on you.

4. When reviewing your ex boyfriend’s Facebook page, Shapchat or Instagram stories, there is no signs of another female in his life.

5. You know his former girlfriend and there is no new stirrings on her social media accounts or whispers that she wants back with her ex.

6. The breakup between you and your ex was relatively civil and did not involve harsh accusations or threats.

7. It has only been a few days or weeks since the two of you split up without any obvious evidence pointing to a new gal on the horizon.

8. There were no previous signs of your ex boyfriend cheating on you while the relationship was ongoing.

9. There is no history of your ex being unfaithful to you or with any of his other girlfriends of the past.

10. You are hearing and have come to believe that this breakup has been hard on your ex boyfriend.

Remember The Most Important Thing Is To Have a Strategy

Before you do anything rash in trying to help your ex boyfriend realize that his new girlfriend is NOT as good as you, it’s important that you understand the role the No Contact Rule plays in this whole process. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into this principle. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.

If you don’t have the patience to read that entire page, let me sum up some of the most important points for you.

No Contact Does Not Mean You Are Giving Up On Your Ex Just Because He Has Found a New Lady Friend!

What it means is that you are going to be smart and fist focus on your own recovery, while at the same time increase your own value as he perceives you.  So how does this principle work?

  • No contact means no communications what so ever for 30 days (1 full month.)
  • It means no texting, calling, emailing, letters, Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram messaging to him or stalking or Googling.
  • During your 30 day freeze out, make sure you improve yourself both mentally and physically, bettering your game in multiple areas of your life.

You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has fallen for a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing.  You are going to want to contact your ex very badly and you probably are not going to have many good things to say.  So don’t go there.  It only hurts you inside and hurts your chances.

Now before we get into what your game plan should consist of, let’s preview 5 common queries you may have:

1. How on earth did you ex boyfriend end up with a new girlfriend?

2. How is it that he seemingly replaced you with a new woman?

3. In what way did you fail him that he could so easily start up a new thing with this girl?

4. Why did your ex boyfriend so quickly start up a new relationship?

5. Is It normal for an ex to have a new girlfriend only after a few days?

Get the Fairy Tale Feeling Back Again With Our Step By Step Guide To Getting Your Ex Back

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5 New Case Study Situations That Explain How and Why Your Ex Got His New Girlfriend.  Is He Worth It? Should You Get Him Back?

New Girlfriend

Sometimes, trying to keep the hope alive that you can get your ex boyfriend back is unfair to you.  Certain relationship situations can evolve to a place where working to get him back could be a big mistake, maybe bigger than getting involved with him in the first place.

So when we have situations where an breakup has happened and an ex boyfriend discards you for another girlfriend both swiftly and with an air of arrogance and insensitivity, you need to think long and hard before going after a guy that may very well only hurt you very deeply again.

Believe it or not, how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline five situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that would be worthwhile to pursue and three of the situations are going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back. Let’s begin.

Situation 1 – You Initiate The Break Up and He Finds A New Girlfriend

You broke up with your boyfriend, then realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. The breakup was clean and you handled it well and he took it well, except he was clearly damaged by your decision.  If you are in this situation, then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex back of you genuinely feel the problems you both experienced can be overcome.  The relationship he is in now could be a rebound or it could flame out.  It is also possible he is playing the jealousy card.

Situation 2 – He Leaves You and Steps Into a Rebound Relationship

He broke up with you and perhaps thinking that the grass is greener, decided to try out the field.  Eventually he settles in with a new woman and already you can see his over the top expectations with his new found “love”  could lead to problems.  Again, this is a really common situation and you may discover his new found lover is far from the right match. So it would be worth going forward with your action plan.

Situation 3- He Cheated On You During the Relationship and Lied

He left you for another girl. That hurts a lot.  But then you learn later that he has been cheating on you the entire time the two of you were together.  Then he says he wants to still sleep with you, though he is still with this other woman.  Really?  Was he ever in love with you?  Were you his rebound for this other girlfriend in his life?  Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here.  This guy is not someone that you should want to get back with.

Situation 4:  Your Ex Boyfriend Is Dating Your Sister

The two of you fought a lot. You were never convinced if you could trust him.  The relationship did not last very long.  You both went your on ways, pretty disgusted with each other, though the sex was great.  In fact, it was so good, you both ended up together in bed shortly after the breakup.  But now you have learned your ex boyfriend is dating your sister.  In this case, my advice is hands off.  This guy is already demonstrated he is trouble and unreliable.  Despite the awesome sex, you are far better off taking your awesome self on another path and find another guy.

Situation 5: Your Ex Cheated On You With Your Best Friend

So you find yourself in a situation where you can’ t decide who you should be more angry and disgusted with.  Your ex or your best friend.  And while you still have feelings for your ex boyfriend, you can’t get the images of the two of them out of your mind.  Neither of them realize that you are on to them.  It’s decision time.  What do you do?  In this case, it is a sort of no win situation as everybody is losing something.  So you confront them both.  They both lie.  Then you provide proof and everything collapses from there.  Now everyone is on their on, with plenty of confused, hurt, and hard feelings to go around.  My advise to you is to keep it that way.  Your ex bf crossed a big line.  And so did your best friend.  So I recommend you just utilize an extended no contact period and allow for the chips to fall where they may, but keeping the focus on your own self recovery.

5 Wicked Truths To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back When A New Girlfriend Is In the Picture


This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Let’s explore!

Truth 1: Don’t Communicate With Your Ex and His New Girlfriend – Leave Them Alone

Not contacting your ex and is new girl is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong. Getting mad, breaking down and texting your ex a hateful message about his new girlfriend isn’t going to help your ultimate goal is it? Instead, be cool and don’t worry, every dog has it’s day.

Truth 2: Allow Time For Your Ex Boyfriend’s New Relationship to Falter

It’s not always easy dating someone new. Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is not as comfortable in his new relationship as you may have thought. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step…

Truth 3: If It’s a Rebound Relationship It Will Blow Up On Its On

Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. Lucky for you, rebound relationships don’t last forever. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships are bound to fail. So, the odds are in your favor.  Just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. Don’t add fuel to their relationship.  Remember, if you freak out you are going to make a lot of mistakes and mistakes aren’t going to help get you two back together.

Truth 4: Your Ex Boyfriend Will Grow To Miss You As Time Goes By

It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets, the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things (like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup) he will remember all the good things, particularly when he is constantly forced to compare you against the realities of his new girlfriend.  His notion that she would be so great for him, may likely not pan out, thereby increasing your value. This can definitely work in your favor.

Truth 5: You Can Be Strategic During The No Contact Period To Enhance Your Value

This is probably the most important truth and ex recovery strategy of them all.  You should not be sitting idly by.  You are going to be using this time to heal and striving to become the best version of YOU.  And you are going to see to it that you ex boyfriend notices all these wonderful changes.  So too will his new girlfriend.  So how do you win back your ex who is shacking up with another girl, someone of his supposed dreams?  You make sure that you portray the view of somebody who is happy, beautiful, ungettable, sexy, and AVAILABLE.  So you are going to employ some little jealousy traps and many other value building activities and tactics.

New Ways To Cope If Your Ex Left You For Another Woman


It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else. I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Remember, just because he is dating someone new doesn’t mean your chances are gone completely. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you.

5 Frequently Asked Questions and What You Should Know and How To Cope

Here is a rundown on the kind of thoughts and questions many women have when dealing with an ex who has found him someone else. Here is what you may be thinking and why its OK.

1. He left me for someone else and I am wondering if it will last?

Just know that these kinds of relationships with a new lady often have a short fuse. Don’t panic.  Give it at least 3 months before you draw any meaningful conclusions.  But don’t wait on him.  Get busy with life.

2. My ex boyfriend left me for someone else he loves more.  Will he ever come back to me?

You really can’t be sure if this new girlfriend in his world loves him or if he loves her.  Appearances, particularly after a breakup, can be misleading.  So give time a chance to unwind the truth of their relationship. Your ex certainly won’t come back if you approach the situation with desperation or begging.  What you want to do is have a plan to get yourself noticed by him in a positive way.

3. What do you do if your ex leaves you for another and then he still wants to be friends with you?

You need to be careful here that you don’t get involved in a friends with benefits situation.  He left you for a reason.  Maybe it’s not  a good reason. Maybe he is not the right man for you.  Perhaps you still want him back.  I would caution you about remaining a real good friend if you want him again, because it will send him conflicting signals that he might still be able to be with you and have casual sex.  Its better to employ a strategy of No Contact and explore that angle first, before you opt to be just a friend.

4. My ex boyfriend dropped me and is now dating my co-worker.

Your game plan should not change. Certainly, things might be somewhat more awkward, but there could be some positives you can take from this situation.  If your co-worker who is now dating your ex comes into work one day with tears, then maybe something good/bad is happening.  Also, there may be times when you see them together at the work setting (before or after work).  You can use this opportunity to make a classy appearance, showcasing your wonderful, happy looking self.

5. My ex left me for someone else and now wants me back as he says we deserve another chance.

That seems awful convenient for him. So how do you deal with being dumped for someone else, then he comes crawling back?  Should you just take him back in, forgiving your ex for his foolishness?  Of course, exactly what you do depends on your history and other circumstances, but I would caution you to move slowly.  If you have not had adequate time to deal with the pain and hurt of what he did to you, tell him you need time.  If he can’t accept that, then he is not worth pursuing.  And if you choose to restart the relationship, do so like you are dating for the first time.  Do it in small steps.  No sex on the first or second dates.  He needs to demonstrate he regrets his decision.


5 Ways To Heal After Learning Your Ex Is Involved With Somebody Else

1. Keep The Focus On You

Try your best not to obsess over his situation and this new girl. You can’t control what he does but you can control what your own actions. Go out and have fun. Make new friends. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself.

2. It’s Not Your Fault He Chased After This New Girlfriend

Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did wrong or something that they could not provide. Dating isn’t always black and white like that. Whatever happens, make sure you don’t let an ex boyfriends actions affect how you feel about yourself.

3. Accept That There Will Be Pain

You are not a robot. You can’t just turn off your feelings. It’s OK to feel pain over the situation, but once that pain starts creeping into your everyday life and effecting how you live then you have problems.

4. Beware Of The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome

This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page. Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back, just because someone else has them. They may be disgusted by his actions and may not even want him any longer, but can’t stand the thought of another woman with him at this time. If you find that you are in this situation, be very careful about proceeding to get him back or ruining his efforts. You may need to go back and do some serious soul searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.

5. Resist Any Comparisons

It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new (hopefully temporary) girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all.  Just know that you have your own special qualities that no one can duplicate.

3 Clever Actions You Can Take To Help Your Ex Recovery Cause

actions to take

So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze. Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control.

I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use! However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

(Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.)

1. Watch For Trouble Signs

No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Each one has it’s ups and downs. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you.

2. Initiate Contact Via Text Message

At the right time, test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.

3. Be Very Nice To Him And His New Girlfriend

If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response, be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting, but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it.  Remember, you are becoming the Ungettable girl. You don’t need to trash her or him because he blew by letting you go and she is probably way out of his league.

3,780 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. Avatar


    October 15, 2019 at 7:52 am

    Hi, i was with my best friend and soul mate for ten years. Since we were 15. The last year things felt different and I developed the grass looks greener syndrome. I left him to months ago for one of our mutual friends. It was no good. But since being with him, it really made me love and appreciate my ex so much because no one is ever going to understand me like that and vice versa. We literally grew up together. When we were together, the last year I was very depressed, not making much money etc, and he grew frustrated with me but stuck by my side. When I left him, the new guy did the same exact thing to me so I have a complete understanding now of my ex’s frustrations he had with me. I want to do anything I can to make up for it and be the best person I can be for him, because that’s what I should’ve done the entire time but sometimes I feel like it takes seeing what life could be like without eachother to really realize it isn’t what you want. I reached out to him for the first time in 2 months today asking if we could talk, he CALLED me within 1 minute. I apologized and told him I ruined my life by leaving him. He seemed kind of upset by his voice. But he told me he had to go because his new girlfriend was coming over, that isn’t fair to her if hes on the phone with me, but he said he’d call me soon. I apologized again and he told me we’d make time to talk about it. I’m trying to be hopeful. His new girlfriend is ten years older than him with a 4 year old and my ex is nooooot a kid person what so ever. Never wanted any, nevermind someone else’s. So I’m hoping his eagerness and willingness to talk to me is and saying he’d call me soon and we’ll talk about it, I hope I can have the chance to do what I should’ve done a year ago. I have such clarity now and I don’t want to live the rest of my life knowing I ruined everything for myself over something so simple but I’m jumped the gun ☹️ we were eachothers PEOPLE. 100% did everything together. Grew up together. Best friends through and through. Do you think there might be a chance here? I’ve never written on one of these things before lol but thank you! Hopefully everything works out

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 15, 2019 at 4:04 pm

      Hi Ciara, so it does depend on how the phone call goes from there. The actions you took will have damaged his trust in you so hopefully you can read up on how to work on that if he is willing to give you another chance. You also need to read the being there method if hes going to choose the new girlfriend and you decide you want him back.

  2. Avatar


    September 17, 2019 at 9:52 pm

    Hi Chris
    I am desperate for help!
    I was with my ex BF 6 years, he left me christmas day due to not being happy, he just ran off and ghosted me. We hung out once a week for the next 6 months, me telling him he is welcome back anytime. Then he blocked me and I found out he was seeing someone, I confronted him and the police got involved, he turned down an injunction. I became a beg, and annoying him, Ive pushed him away now and he is living in her flat with her! He added me back on everything 3 weeks ago and we have been talking daily rebuilding our friendship, untill I became a beg again and he blocked me. We had a huge fight last week his sister told me has been cheating on me with this woman for 2 years. I went to his pub he runs to talk yesterday, he denied it all. He said he desperatly needs space to sort his head and in 9 months he hasnt had 1 day without me contacting him, he cuddled me and said he will be in touch when he is ready. He was so angry, I know I need to leave him alone we cant move forward like this! I wrote him a letter today explaining how I feel and accepting we need space, how I want to fix things but I cant promise I will be waiting around. Do you think I have a chance? I cant give up on us but I know I havent given him a single day to miss me! Ive always been available, I know this woman he is lodging with isnt right for him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 19, 2019 at 5:22 pm

      Hi Alice, everyone who gives this program a go and follows through with the advice are giving themselves the best chance of getting their ex back. Complete a NC and read all the materials you can relating to your situation and you’ll see progress 🙂

  3. Avatar


    September 14, 2019 at 9:20 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My ex and I broke up nearly 2 years ago after 2 years together, and we work together. We got on fine until April of this year and haven’t even attempted friendship since.
    Over 2 years ago, a friend from work (I’ll call her Jane) and I were as close as we could be and whenever i had issues with my ex she would remind me how much we loved each other and he was besotted with me. She was the one who pushed me into giving the relationship a try from the start. She began seeing another guy from work but was cheating on him the entire time. Jane asked me what to do and I said that she needed to choose and if he asked I wouldn’t lie. My ex agreed with me but Jane was furious, and we have never spoke since.
    I have found out that Jane has started seeing me ex. I am heartbroken. Neither know that I know but apparently it has been going on for around 2 months. When he and I started a relationship, after 2 months we were very serious. I know I don’t speak to either and don’t maintain a friendship with either, but it still feels like a betrayal and that the friendship and relationship meant nothing.
    Please help!

  4. Avatar


    September 9, 2019 at 4:44 am

    Hi Chris,
    Just a question. My ex left me for his ex. They were gf/bf 20 years ago and reunited. Is it considered as a rebound or cheating? He lied to that girl that he said, we broke up since last year which is not true. We were still on during that time. He told me before we broke up that i dont have enough effort or i am not constant until i discovered that he reunited with his ex. Is that considered a rebound or a continuation of their flames. Thank you for your wonderful article.

    1. Shaunna


      September 12, 2019 at 9:30 pm

      Hi Dana, whats happened here is he has the grass is greener syndrome. At the moment he thinks this woman is the better option for him. What you need to do is be your best version of yourself. Be Ungettable, there is lots of material for you to read about both issues on this website 🙂

  5. Avatar


    August 17, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My guy and I were in a so called relationship for about a year and a half. We did have lots of fights but we are just two very opinionated people. We always came out on the other side. We would talk, text and FaceTime more than once a day, everyday. We were pretty much even living together. He always said he didn’t want a girlfriend but we had the unspoken no dating other people rule. A few months ago I took a new job which has me based on the other side of the country but I’m able to and do fly home every week for a few days. A few weeks ago he went on a 2 week backpacking trip and ended developing feelings for the girl he went with. He told me that we had grown apart and that I left. But that’s not true. Things were still working up until the last week of his trip. He told me he’s invested in this new girl and trying things. I know that couldn’t have been the end for us and I know things would work if we got the chance but I’m at a loss of what to do. He’s pretty much blocked me from all his social media and life. Please help!

  6. Avatar


    July 30, 2019 at 6:46 pm

    So my ex and I broke up almost 2 weeks ago. He said it was because of the distance 3 hrs. Before we broke up he said he wanted space from things so I tried but he kept messaging me and I would respond and sometimes attach to hard when I don’t think he was ready. Finally I got upset at him one night when he was being short witty me and he broke up with me. He kept saying distance and the space i didn’t give him. Well I found out 2 days after the break up he was going on a date . I asked him about it and he said he had only been talking to her for a few days before we broke up. We have talked 3 times since the breakup the last time being him completely saying he hated himself and karma was going to get him and he was so sorry he hurt me but he couldn’t try anymore. I love him so much but with this new girl I know he’s dating and everything I don’t know what to do! Help please

  7. Avatar


    July 28, 2019 at 9:41 am

    Hi Chris,
    I met a European (divorced) guy online (I’m from Asia) through a professional site. He reached out to me, introduced himself and said he wanted to get to know me. We have known each other for two months. At first, I was just answering his questions (if I had a family, what my hobbies were, etc.) I was sort of going with the flow, but eventually, our conversations went deeper and romantic. We did not not have an actual labeled relationship, but we exchanged messages like that of lovers. Until he said he has already fallen in love with someone else – same nationality as his and same age. He said he wants us to stay in contact, as friends. But I want to get him back. After all, he was really interested in me before he met that girl. Is there a chance that I could win him back? Is it a good idea that we stay friends in hopes that he would come back to me when things don’t go well with the girl?

  8. Avatar


    July 10, 2019 at 12:29 am

    Hi Chris,

    Me and my so called bf,were together for 5 years,we never had sex,in 2017 somewhere we were planning to get married but then one of our friend ex came in picture to be friend with me,but then it was me my bf and her hanging put together,my bfs mom passed away last year and that is the time i believed they both had sex and they were seeing eachother since then behind my back, and this year he left me for her still keeping me in dark, and they are living together, and he is ready to marry her..due to religious and otherwise I preferred and waited to have sex with him after marriage but this girl took the advantage as we both were fighting and he was in a weak position..but he insulted me alot last year and was somehow trying for me to leave him by myself without knowing the truth, despite all this i still love him! But he is scared of that girl…sometimes he give me mixed signal i tried no contact,i just dont know what to do….i really want him back, he is living with her, aswell as working at the same place..i did all the wrong things at first,then applied no contact and now we were in contact again, but again he is not the one chasing me..and he is not ready to lose her….but at times he does say if she wants she can leave him……i didnt wished him birthday and when i talked to him he mentioned that how upset he was and that he kept telling that girl that i will call him but i didnt, after a month it was my birthday and he did same thing,but i went to holiday by myself, and later when i came back i called him to get some of my money back that he borrowed and then again we got in touched,and that is when i mentioned about my trip he was shocked..we met after that he kept holding me and saying how things would have been different and that he might come back…he is the one who cheated and lied left me, and i am still the one begging i want him to chase me and want me and realise what we had was special.

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    Shiloh Seglin

    July 8, 2019 at 9:05 am

    Hi I started the whole thing. I told him he had to do something or leave. Then I went to work. I cant be on my phone at work. He texted me a few times but I cn ouldn’t really talk/ And I was very mean to him but I still expected him to be there when I got home. well he wasn’t. He had moved out. I was mean to him when I texted him because I was so hurt he left.. Accused him of cheating. He stoped responding to my texts. I went to his work. He te. xted me said he had started dating a girl at work. She had started morking there in the past few weeks. He has given me the silent treatment before for days so I was agin hurt and surprised. He does live about an hour from me. I went home and cried myself to sleep. As it turns out I missed a few texts from him when i wokeup but he wouldn’t respond. A few days later there was a picture of the 2 of them. I was so hurt I blew up his phone then he blocked me every where except his phone. I continued to blow up his phone. Finally he sent me a text saying he loved me but was not in love with me anymore. He had moved on and I needed to also. Plus he said it hurt way to much to read my messages. I have sent him more texts he ignored two . other times. This happened 5 or 6 weeks ago. I have been pretty sucsessful for the . few week with the NC rule. I have since relized he did not block my son. He has posted a few things he wanted me to see. Hurtful stuff directed at me and he never puts stuff up. The crazy part is we would have been celubrating our 2 year annivursery in a few days. They haven’t even known eachother 2 months! Should I continue with NC or what?

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    June 24, 2019 at 5:54 pm

    My ex and i were together for 15 years. In 2012 he left me and went to live with another women. We got back together but the trust was gone. Since then its been up and down. We bought a house together a couple years ago. Then he started all the same tell tell signs he did in 2012, and i found out he was doing it again. when confronted he moved in with her. Part of me wants to see him rot in hell. Another part still loves him, but the worst part is the house, i need his financial support to keep it and now im stuck. Is there anything i can do?

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    June 23, 2019 at 12:27 pm

    Hello Chris,
    I’m Kristin me and my ex were off and on for a year and a half, I broke up with him for lack of consistency, then sometimes he would be hesitant about getting back together when we spoke of it saying we fight allot, so they had a festival that came up and he knew he hurt me and decides he is going to announce in front of family and friends that I’m his girlfriend which it was a bad time due to us drinking and I was still mad at him from our previous conversations so I said no I’m not! He got embarrassed and walked off but that didn’t stop him from pursuing that night

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 23, 2019 at 3:02 pm

      Hi Kristin….sounds like you might want to consider No Contact for a period of time. Check out my Program – EBR Pro Bundle for a complete approach to how you should navigate through all this.

  12. Avatar


    May 16, 2019 at 1:02 am

    Hi Chris,

    To make this long story short, my ex boyfriend and I were friends for years because of mutual friends. We ended up dating and dated for 2 years. We lived together from day 1 but we had a very rocky relationship after the first few months. I moved back home after a year of living together because he kicked me out. Anyway, my ex boyfriend lost his father and ever since then he took his drinking and sometimes drug use to an extreme and took it out on me. He would verbally abuse me and go on serious benders for days and not remember anything. He even got himself in some legal trouble. I did everything I could to help him but he pushed me further and further away no matter what I did. There was cheating incidents on both sides but we both just let them go or until a fight happened and it would be thrown in my face even though he did the same thing. I know you’re reading this thinking why the hell would I want this relationship back and it’s because I know who he is and this isn’t him. The person I fell in love with is there somewhere I know it. He’s just going through something serious and refuses to aknowlegde the severity of it and get help. I’m actually afraid for his life now that he pushed me out of the picture. Regardless, the night we broke up, he asked me to move back in with him and then two hours later we got into a huge blow out fight (typical of us) and he ended it with me. He told me I do nothing but bring him down and he has to figure his issues out and can’t be in a relationship with me or anyone. I don’t get how I bring him down because why would you ask me to move back in with you not even two hours earlier. In reality I should have broken up with him. I stayed through everything he did to me. The breakup was horrible to say the least and he told me he never wanted to be with me ever again. A month later he called me to ask a question he could have figured out on his own and we had a civil conversation. The conversation then led us to text the next few days and we hungout twice. I even slept at his house both times. We had a really good time both times but he randomly decided it was a mistake seeing me and blocked my number. I then found out from mutual friends that he has a new girlfriend who has the same name as me and they’ve been talking for a month and a half. Everyone’s like that’s why he texted you because he thought it was her. Like first how crazy is it to be in a relationship that soon even after you said you can’t be in a relationship with anyone and with someone who has my name. Not to mention if they were dating for a month and a half already then he cheated on her with me twice. And if the texts were meant for her wouldn’t you think he would realize when I showed up and not her. He still calls me and texts me randomly but I can’t respond back since I’m blocked. He can contact me but I can’t contact him. I don’t know what to do. I’ve done the no contact and I am blocked anyway so I have no choice to do it but I just want us back. Is there even hope, is this girl a rebound, should I just give up? Clearly it’s not the best relationship currently but when we were good we were great and I have to believe this is just an issue he’s going through. Suggestions?

  13. Avatar


    May 16, 2019 at 12:56 am

    Hi Chris,

    To make this long story short, my ex boyfriend and I were friends for years because of mutual friends. We ended up dating and dated for 2 years. We lived together from day 1 but we had a very rocky relationship after the first few months. I moved back home after a year of living together because he kicked me out. Anyway, my ex boyfriend lost his father and ever since then he took his drinking and sometimes drug use to an extreme and took it out on me. He would verbally abuse me and go on serious benders for days and not remember anything. He even got himself in some legal trouble. I did everything I could to help him but he pushed me further and further away no matter what I did. There was cheating incidents on both sides but we both just let them go. I know you’re reading this thinking why the hell would I want this relationship back and it’s because I know who he is and this isn’t him. The person I fell in love with is there somewhere I know it. Regardless, the night we broke up, he asked me to move back in with him and then two hours later we got into a huge blow out fight (typical of us) and he ended it with me. He told me I do nothing but bring him down. Which I don’t get because why would you ask me to move back in with you not even two hours earlier. In reality I should have broken up with him. I stayed through everything he did to me. The breakup was horrible to say the least and he told me he never wanted to be with me ever again. A month later he called me and we had a civil conversation. The conversation then led us to text the next few days and we hungout twice. I even slept at his house both times. We had a really good time both times but he randomly decided it was a mistake and blocked my number. I then found out from mutual friends that he has a new girlfriend who has the same name as me and they’ve been talking for a month and a half. Like first how crazy is it to be in a relationship that soon and with someone who has my name. Not to mention if they were dating for a month and a half already then he cheated on her with me twice. He still calls me and texts me but I can’t respond back since I’m blocked, so he can contact me but I can’t contact him. I don’t know what to do. I’ve done the no contact and I am blocked so I have no choice to do it but I just want us back. Is there even hope, is this a rebound, should I just give up?

  14. Avatar

    Sarah FY

    May 5, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    I have been in a 9yr long relationship. Apparently, he slept with someone else he called his “bff” that I had my doubts on and then later dumped for I asked him to stop talking with her. He also have cheated on me a lot many times but I ignored as I loved him a lot. But he continued to manipulate me to get rid of him. I tried NCR but all in vain. We met up while attending a marriage and then spent 2 days together. I tried talking to him to mend things and that we patch up but after returning home, 2days later he dumped me again. I was destroyed and heart broken and then stopped being in contact with him untill two weeks before, I met him and then we slept together but then I reached home and he started distant again. Later I came to know that he has been seeing someone else for the last 4 months but he has the nerve to sleep with me. He now doesn’t want to talk or meet me. What should I do? It’s been such a long time with him that I can’t move on at all. I don’t know what’s going on in his mind. I tried asking him but he doesn’t speak up. I love him a lot and I want him back what should I do? Please help. I am in hell lot of pain.

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    Rebecca Bacon

    May 4, 2019 at 2:19 pm

    Me and my ex boyfriend were together for 8 yrs. We tried living together and did for 3yrs. He kicked me and my daughter out back in November but we would still see each othe. He broke up with me February 23rd of this year because of my anger, attitude, and insecurities. We did fight a lot but it was mostly about his son….who doesn’t like me. I have done so much for him and put my life and happiness on hold for him. On April 6th he told me that he had hung out with someone else and would probably do it again. He said he told me 4 or 5 months ago he was done which is not true. He has been seeing this new girlfriend for about 2 months I guess. They are spending the night together and together all the time. He recently started posting pictures of them on his story on FB. They both have me blocked. I still have some bigger things at his house and try to get stuff while he is not home. I ran into the other day at his house and he cussed me like a dog for no reason. I have been going to therapy for all my issues because I want me back and I can change but he keeps telling me I can’t and throwing it up in my face about the way I talked to him. He is being so mean to me and I try not to talk to him or be around him….and we work together. I still live him and care for him but he told me he really didn’t like me and hasn’t for a long time, he just tolerated me. Help me please!!!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2019 at 1:35 am

      Perhaps employing a form of limited No Contact might be the right medicine.

  16. Avatar


    April 8, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My situation is my ex and I been together more than 2 years in a long distance relationship,but he always has a school vocation and come to visit me 2months per year. Anw, we got too much memories but just sometime we fight and broke up like 3 times during this 2 years but we still end up getting back together. But this last time we broke up like only 3 months he already in a relationship with his new girl. But the things is even we break up we still chatting with each other and being friend, in this meantime I always ask him if he see and found other girl yet, he said he doesn’t he want to stay alone. And when I ask him if he still love me , he said he still love me. We still keep meet each other sometime. But in the last time I saw his comment with his new girl is a couple conversation, then i ask him what is this why you have been hiding me and why you don’t tell me the true then he said he doesn’t want to hurt me. What is I wonder is why he keep meet me and say he loves me while he got his new girl. Is it a rebound or what ? Can u give me an advise for this? To be honest I still love him so much.

  17. Avatar


    March 30, 2019 at 8:40 am

    Hey so i have a difficult case…i was with my husband for almost 6 years but for the last year we ended up getting a cps case against us and i left for that year to get our children back needless to say i was also pregnant and then when i was shipped off to my last program for 1 year he got deported so its been a year and im barley finding out that the entire time hes been deported and ive been sending him money and phones and clothes hes been with one of my ex friends for the entire year!!! So she takes him drugs every now and then but he tells everyone else hes only with me for our girls but to me he denys denys denys being with her…i want him back i want my old husband back who loved and cherished me…i know he still loves me but the drugs are consuming him..he tells everyone he is also just using the girl but ..i cant be to sure…i dont know what to do im being consumed with so much anger and rage..but i still love him…what do i do?!?! Im back up between the sword and the wall …ive been loving a lie for 1 entire year…what should i do..i still love him

  18. Avatar


    March 7, 2019 at 11:32 am

    I was with my ex for 3 years, we have a 2 year old son together. We both had problems towards the end of the relationship and I developed severe anxiety. I broke up with him 3 months ago because the only way I could heal was to have time and space alone. He had a hard time with the breakup. Now I feel back to myself again and want to try and work things out. The only problem if that he has just told me that he’s been seeing someone for 6 weeks and that it’s going well. This has broken my heart, my anxiety and panic attacks have come back, I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I have no right to feel like this because it was me who ended things.

  19. Avatar

    Angelique Nazareno

    March 7, 2019 at 9:47 am

    Also, my ex and I have so much common interests. While, he said, the girl he used to date during our first break up, they have very very little common interests. I have also met his whole family, even cousins, and almost always present in their gatherings when we were together. But the girl never met even his parents.

  20. Avatar

    Angelique Nazareno

    March 7, 2019 at 9:43 am

    Hi Chris,

    Please notice me and respond.

    I broke up with my ex boyfriend of 2 years last year in May. He begged for me to come back and I didn’t heed him. After a month, I learned he was dating a new girl. Even while dating the girl, he kept on texting me every now and then. But I told him to stop texting as it was going to be unfair with his new girl. But then, he would text me again and then I would initially ask him back but then he would refuse, and then I asked him again to stop contacting me. As I read through your articles that I should do that. And that went on until September last year. During no contact period, he posted this girl twiced on social media. I heard he was speaking ill of the girl though thru our common friend. Until December last year, we finally met, after 3 months of NC, in an event hosted by our common friend. I said a simple hi and smiled which he returned too. After the event, he texted me that it was good to see me and all, days passed and he said he wanted to give our relationship another go. So since I still love him, I gave him another chance. He left the girl for me. And so, when we got back together, which only lasted for more than a month (he broke up with me this February 17, 2019) because he said I was too possessive and I’m stressing him out and putting so much pressure on him. I told him it was just a phase because he had another girl during our separated times and that it will eventually wear off as time goes by. At first he understood it and bear with me. We would fight over and over because of my jealousy. But the last one was the biggest fight of all that led him to break-up with me because he said he was now unhappy in our relationship because of my consistent jealousy. He said he wanted to be single and focus on himself and that he didn’t want to have relationship with anyone yet. He also said that I shouldn’t wait on him until he’s ready. Until recently I learned that he was communicating again with the girl he got involved with in our first break-up. I confronted him and asked about it, he said he was just apologizing to the girl because he felt guilty of leaving her out of the blue. But that he has no plan of dating her again, he was just feeling guilty, that’s all. And that for now he wants to be single but he said he’ll tell me right away if ever he will meet someone that he would date when he’s ready. Thats stings a lot. I want him back for the second time, but I’m worried he might get back with that girl. What should I do? Please respond. I need your help! 🙁

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 8, 2019 at 2:36 am

      Hi there Angelique…I know its hurts. I think before you make any decision on how to proceed, you should put your energy to some healing and recovery. You have tried NC and yet he has still not been a reliable partner….now saying he want the single life. Take NC for yourself and make it all about you. You can’t control what he “thinks” he wants or what he will do. Take some time just for yourself should help you with gaining some perspective of the entire life cycle of the relationship.

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