It can really hurt when an ex boyfriend (who you still have feelings for) has moved on to another girl. Many women lose all hope of getting their ex back when they learn their boyfriend has taken up with a new girlfriend. Others will get angry and immediately look to start a fight, lashing out out their ex.  Rarely will you ever come across one that does the smart thing, stacking the odds in her favor!

So how do you win back an ex who is with someone else?  Well, my short, expert answer is:

To maximize your chances of success of getting your ex boyfriend back if he already has a girlfriend you should recognize the focus must be on you creating value in yourself and and finding ways to make your ex see how you are becoming what  I call, the Ungettable Girl.

Learning how to get your ex back even if he has a new girlfriend is not going to entirely rest entirely on making him jealous.  Nor is it going to depend on you sabotaging their relationship (that tactic rarely works and usually backfires).  It’s going to take a full commitment to rising above the hateful feelings that might be bubbling up.  I know the feeling of rejection cannot feel worse under these circumstances.

But if you are trying to get back an ex boyfriend who has moved on and now hates you more because of the ugliness that ensued upon you learning he is now with someone else, you need to implement a strategic plan

So don’t dig a deeper hole for yourself.

By the way, if you haven’t already read my epic article on how to get your ex boyfriend back I suggest you drop everything for the next 30 minutes (yes 30 minutes) and go read it!

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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7  New Signs That Your Ex Has Moved On and Now Is With Someone Else?

Is it possible you can spot when your boyfriend is slipping away?  In the back of your mind, you may already suspect your boyfriend is with someone else.  And clearly there are telltale signs you can spot that will point to him slipping out of your life.  But what if he is already your ex, but it hasn’t been that long since the breakup.

Perhaps part of you is still hoping for  a reconciliation.  You may be thinking this falling out you have had with your ex boyfriend won’t last long. You may think that it has happened in the past, so certainly the two of you will find a way to work it out.

That is what many girls think when a breakup occurs.  There is often a certain degree of disbelieve, a suspension of acceptance to the new relationship situation.  You may never think that your ex would have a new girlfriend after a month or even sooner.  But it happens.

So what signs are there that speak to whether ” does he still like me or has he moved on to a new girlfriend”?

After all, that is what you will come to fear as days go by without hearing from your ex.  You will wonder “how could my ex move on so quickly”.  You may think to yourself, “my ex has moved on but I haven’t and it hurts.”

There are 7 signs that point to your ex boyfriend moving on from you emotionally and finding another girl.  Whether she stole his heart or he was already involved with her before the breakup is something we will take up later.  But for now, what are the signs your ex is falling for another girl or is already involved with a new girlfriend since you guys busted up.

1. You are hearing rumors of sightings of your ex boyfriend with another girl.

2. When you check your ex boyfriend’s social media pages (Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram), you are seeing pictures and stories that leave you out, but consistently includes a new face of a new girl.

3. Your ex, who use to still text you even after the break up, has gone silent and is not responsive to your texts.

4. In an effort not to hurt you further, your ex boyfriend tells you that he went out on double date or was hanging out with another girl, but it’s not serious.  Truth be told, your ex likely wouldn’t go out of his way to tell you this unless something more was going on.  Guilt is playing on his mind.

5. Your ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend posts pics on Facebook or Snapchat of her and your ex together.

6. He tells you that he needs some space and is through with girls, yet you know from your experience he loves women and is always in their company.

7. Your ex boyfriend blocks you from seeing his social media pages, cutting all other ties with you immediately after your questioning of whether he is dating someone else.  In effect, he is doing a sloppy job of trying to cover his tracks.

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10 Signs That Your Boyfriend Has NOT Moved On or Given Up On You

Sometimes, after a breakup, you will come to fear that your ex will move on and replace you with some other girl he knows or has talked about.  This fear can be paralyzing and occupy hours of your day as your obsess over whether your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend or how to deal with this if it should happen.

You may dream of fantasy scenarios where you discover your ex now has a new girl in his life, but since you want him back quickly, you will pull off some dramatic sequence of events that will miraculously bring your him back to you.    If you are afflicted with such thoughts, what you probably need to do is take a deep breath and remind yourself you can’t know everything and nor can you control all his decisions.

But there are some signs that reveal your ex has NOT moved on.  They include:

1. There is no evidence or rumors or whispers that your ex boyfriend has been seen with anyone else

2. You and your ex have only been broken up for a few days and communications are not completely cut off.

3. Your ex boyfriend still initiates contact, checking up on you.

4. When reviewing your ex boyfriend’s Facebook page, Shapchat or Instagram stories, there is no signs of another female in his life.

5. You know his former girlfriend and there is no new stirrings on her social media accounts or whispers that she wants back with her ex.

6. The breakup between you and your ex was relatively civil and did not involve harsh accusations or threats.

7. It has only been a few days or weeks since the two of you split up without any obvious evidence pointing to a new gal on the horizon.

8. There were no previous signs of your ex boyfriend cheating on you while the relationship was ongoing.

9. There is no history of your ex being unfaithful to you or with any of his other girlfriends of the past.

10. You are hearing and have come to believe that this breakup has been hard on your ex boyfriend.

Remember The Most Important Thing Is To Have a Strategy

Before you do anything rash in trying to help your ex boyfriend realize that his new girlfriend is NOT as good as you, it’s important that you understand the role the No Contact Rule plays in this whole process. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into this principle. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.

If you don’t have the patience to read that entire page, let me sum up some of the most important points for you.

No Contact Does Not Mean You Are Giving Up On Your Ex Just Because He Has Found a New Lady Friend!

What it means is that you are going to be smart and fist focus on your own recovery, while at the same time increase your own value as he perceives you.  So how does this principle work?

  • No contact means no communications what so ever for 30 days (1 full month.)
  • It means no texting, calling, emailing, letters, Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram messaging to him or stalking or Googling.
  • During your 30 day freeze out, make sure you improve yourself both mentally and physically, bettering your game in multiple areas of your life.

You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has fallen for a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing.  You are going to want to contact your ex very badly and you probably are not going to have many good things to say.  So don’t go there.  It only hurts you inside and hurts your chances.

Now before we get into what your game plan should consist of, let’s preview 5 common queries you may have:

1. How on earth did you ex boyfriend end up with a new girlfriend?

2. How is it that he seemingly replaced you with a new woman?

3. In what way did you fail him that he could so easily start up a new thing with this girl?

4. Why did your ex boyfriend so quickly start up a new relationship?

5. Is It normal for an ex to have a new girlfriend only after a few days?

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5 New Case Study Situations That Explain How and Why Your Ex Got His New Girlfriend.  Is He Worth It? Should You Get Him Back?

New Girlfriend

Sometimes, trying to keep the hope alive that you can get your ex boyfriend back is unfair to you.  Certain relationship situations can evolve to a place where working to get him back could be a big mistake, maybe bigger than getting involved with him in the first place.

So when we have situations where an breakup has happened and an ex boyfriend discards you for another girlfriend both swiftly and with an air of arrogance and insensitivity, you need to think long and hard before going after a guy that may very well only hurt you very deeply again.

Believe it or not, how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline five situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that would be worthwhile to pursue and three of the situations are going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back. Let’s begin.

Situation 1 – You Initiate The Break Up and He Finds A New Girlfriend

You broke up with your boyfriend, then realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. The breakup was clean and you handled it well and he took it well, except he was clearly damaged by your decision.  If you are in this situation, then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex back of you genuinely feel the problems you both experienced can be overcome.  The relationship he is in now could be a rebound or it could flame out.  It is also possible he is playing the jealousy card.

Situation 2 – He Leaves You and Steps Into a Rebound Relationship

He broke up with you and perhaps thinking that the grass is greener, decided to try out the field.  Eventually he settles in with a new woman and already you can see his over the top expectations with his new found “love”  could lead to problems.  Again, this is a really common situation and you may discover his new found lover is far from the right match. So it would be worth going forward with your action plan.

Situation 3- He Cheated On You During the Relationship and Lied

He left you for another girl. That hurts a lot.  But then you learn later that he has been cheating on you the entire time the two of you were together.  Then he says he wants to still sleep with you, though he is still with this other woman.  Really?  Was he ever in love with you?  Were you his rebound for this other girlfriend in his life?  Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here.  This guy is not someone that you should want to get back with.

Situation 4:  Your Ex Boyfriend Is Dating Your Sister

The two of you fought a lot. You were never convinced if you could trust him.  The relationship did not last very long.  You both went your on ways, pretty disgusted with each other, though the sex was great.  In fact, it was so good, you both ended up together in bed shortly after the breakup.  But now you have learned your ex boyfriend is dating your sister.  In this case, my advice is hands off.  This guy is already demonstrated he is trouble and unreliable.  Despite the awesome sex, you are far better off taking your awesome self on another path and find another guy.

Situation 5: Your Ex Cheated On You With Your Best Friend

So you find yourself in a situation where you can’ t decide who you should be more angry and disgusted with.  Your ex or your best friend.  And while you still have feelings for your ex boyfriend, you can’t get the images of the two of them out of your mind.  Neither of them realize that you are on to them.  It’s decision time.  What do you do?  In this case, it is a sort of no win situation as everybody is losing something.  So you confront them both.  They both lie.  Then you provide proof and everything collapses from there.  Now everyone is on their on, with plenty of confused, hurt, and hard feelings to go around.  My advise to you is to keep it that way.  Your ex bf crossed a big line.  And so did your best friend.  So I recommend you just utilize an extended no contact period and allow for the chips to fall where they may, but keeping the focus on your own self recovery.

5 Wicked Truths To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back When A New Girlfriend Is In the Picture


This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Let’s explore!

Truth 1: Don’t Communicate With Your Ex and His New Girlfriend – Leave Them Alone

Not contacting your ex and is new girl is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong. Getting mad, breaking down and texting your ex a hateful message about his new girlfriend isn’t going to help your ultimate goal is it? Instead, be cool and don’t worry, every dog has it’s day.

Truth 2: Allow Time For Your Ex Boyfriend’s New Relationship to Falter

It’s not always easy dating someone new. Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is not as comfortable in his new relationship as you may have thought. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step…

Truth 3: If It’s a Rebound Relationship It Will Blow Up On Its On

Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. Lucky for you, rebound relationships don’t last forever. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships are bound to fail. So, the odds are in your favor.  Just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. Don’t add fuel to their relationship.  Remember, if you freak out you are going to make a lot of mistakes and mistakes aren’t going to help get you two back together.

Truth 4: Your Ex Boyfriend Will Grow To Miss You As Time Goes By

It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets, the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things (like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup) he will remember all the good things, particularly when he is constantly forced to compare you against the realities of his new girlfriend.  His notion that she would be so great for him, may likely not pan out, thereby increasing your value. This can definitely work in your favor.

Truth 5: You Can Be Strategic During The No Contact Period To Enhance Your Value

This is probably the most important truth and ex recovery strategy of them all.  You should not be sitting idly by.  You are going to be using this time to heal and striving to become the best version of YOU.  And you are going to see to it that you ex boyfriend notices all these wonderful changes.  So too will his new girlfriend.  So how do you win back your ex who is shacking up with another girl, someone of his supposed dreams?  You make sure that you portray the view of somebody who is happy, beautiful, ungettable, sexy, and AVAILABLE.  So you are going to employ some little jealousy traps and many other value building activities and tactics.

New Ways To Cope If Your Ex Left You For Another Woman


It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else. I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Remember, just because he is dating someone new doesn’t mean your chances are gone completely. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you.

5 Frequently Asked Questions and What You Should Know and How To Cope

Here is a rundown on the kind of thoughts and questions many women have when dealing with an ex who has found him someone else. Here is what you may be thinking and why its OK.

1. He left me for someone else and I am wondering if it will last?

Just know that these kinds of relationships with a new lady often have a short fuse. Don’t panic.  Give it at least 3 months before you draw any meaningful conclusions.  But don’t wait on him.  Get busy with life.

2. My ex boyfriend left me for someone else he loves more.  Will he ever come back to me?

You really can’t be sure if this new girlfriend in his world loves him or if he loves her.  Appearances, particularly after a breakup, can be misleading.  So give time a chance to unwind the truth of their relationship. Your ex certainly won’t come back if you approach the situation with desperation or begging.  What you want to do is have a plan to get yourself noticed by him in a positive way.

3. What do you do if your ex leaves you for another and then he still wants to be friends with you?

You need to be careful here that you don’t get involved in a friends with benefits situation.  He left you for a reason.  Maybe it’s not  a good reason. Maybe he is not the right man for you.  Perhaps you still want him back.  I would caution you about remaining a real good friend if you want him again, because it will send him conflicting signals that he might still be able to be with you and have casual sex.  Its better to employ a strategy of No Contact and explore that angle first, before you opt to be just a friend.

4. My ex boyfriend dropped me and is now dating my co-worker.

Your game plan should not change. Certainly, things might be somewhat more awkward, but there could be some positives you can take from this situation.  If your co-worker who is now dating your ex comes into work one day with tears, then maybe something good/bad is happening.  Also, there may be times when you see them together at the work setting (before or after work).  You can use this opportunity to make a classy appearance, showcasing your wonderful, happy looking self.

5. My ex left me for someone else and now wants me back as he says we deserve another chance.

That seems awful convenient for him. So how do you deal with being dumped for someone else, then he comes crawling back?  Should you just take him back in, forgiving your ex for his foolishness?  Of course, exactly what you do depends on your history and other circumstances, but I would caution you to move slowly.  If you have not had adequate time to deal with the pain and hurt of what he did to you, tell him you need time.  If he can’t accept that, then he is not worth pursuing.  And if you choose to restart the relationship, do so like you are dating for the first time.  Do it in small steps.  No sex on the first or second dates.  He needs to demonstrate he regrets his decision.


5 Ways To Heal After Learning Your Ex Is Involved With Somebody Else

1. Keep The Focus On You

Try your best not to obsess over his situation and this new girl. You can’t control what he does but you can control what your own actions. Go out and have fun. Make new friends. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself.

2. It’s Not Your Fault He Chased After This New Girlfriend

Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did wrong or something that they could not provide. Dating isn’t always black and white like that. Whatever happens, make sure you don’t let an ex boyfriends actions affect how you feel about yourself.

3. Accept That There Will Be Pain

You are not a robot. You can’t just turn off your feelings. It’s OK to feel pain over the situation, but once that pain starts creeping into your everyday life and effecting how you live then you have problems.

4. Beware Of The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome

This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page. Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back, just because someone else has them. They may be disgusted by his actions and may not even want him any longer, but can’t stand the thought of another woman with him at this time. If you find that you are in this situation, be very careful about proceeding to get him back or ruining his efforts. You may need to go back and do some serious soul searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.

5. Resist Any Comparisons

It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new (hopefully temporary) girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all.  Just know that you have your own special qualities that no one can duplicate.

3 Clever Actions You Can Take To Help Your Ex Recovery Cause

actions to take

So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze. Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control.

I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use! However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

(Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.)

1. Watch For Trouble Signs

No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Each one has it’s ups and downs. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you.

2. Initiate Contact Via Text Message

At the right time, test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.

3. Be Very Nice To Him And His New Girlfriend

If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response, be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting, but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it.  Remember, you are becoming the Ungettable girl. You don’t need to trash her or him because he blew by letting you go and she is probably way out of his league.

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3,806 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. Avatar


    December 31, 2020 at 12:17 pm

    My boyfriend and I dated for two years and then we got separated when he left to work, we still talk on the phone but he told me a year later that he’s with someone else I didn’t mind and kept talking to him years later he kept sending me signs that he’s still into me but I wanted him to tell me verberly that he wants me back (because I didn’t want to be played) he never did. Few months later I went to see him to tell him that I still love him and maybe talk things out with him but he told me that he’s got a new girlfriend and he’s serious about her, I wanted to give up and leave but he didn’t want me to he said if I really love him I’ll fight for our relationship and not just leave because he have not engaged his new girl. Now I’ve decided to try to get him back but I don’t know how to go about it. And I really love him and want him back

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 18, 2021 at 10:06 pm

      Hi Stella, there are articles and videos about the being there method for this. However if you find that he has got engaged to this girlfriend then you need to walk away as he is just enjoying your attention it seems.

  2. Avatar


    December 24, 2020 at 1:51 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me for the first time I agree with him on the breakup with no contact after that he came back after 2months that he wants us back but I didn’t take him due to what he did for the first time.ignore him we even had another fight but after a week of the fight I called him to apologise.and he also make a move back that he wants us back again so I agree not knowing he is asking someone else out and he never told we getting back I changed towards him I do what I don’t do before.i gave him attention.and I asked him severally that during our first fight did he moved on he denied have put my trust in him all of a sudden he changed he started complaining that I call and text to much that am frustrating him that during the time that he told me that he wants us back that I didn’t take it serious that he as make a move with someone else that because of that he’s breaking up with me for the second time that the lady he toasted just said yes he never told me anything like that before getting back with me and he also said he loves the lady more than me that he as shift all the love to the lady..I called and text to beg him he was just giving different excuse.he said during our first breakup that I was with my ex that’s my first boyfriend and I told him we are just friends he was just finding silly excuse and he said we can never get back together.i asked my friend to beg him he already blocked all my lines that I can’t reach.i cried to him he said my tears can’t move him.and I love him and still want him back.he just started the relationship shit with this new girl day before yesterday.he broke up because of the new girl and promise me he can never love me again and we can never get back together.please help me I still want him can I get him back because I love him

  3. Avatar


    November 21, 2020 at 6:10 pm

    My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago.We were together for 3 years.About 4 months he started distancing himself from me and then after two months he broke up saying he is not happy.Maybe bcoz we fought sometimes due to my impulsive nature.After breakup also he used to call me text me.If I used to say to him that I want to cut contact for a while,he wouldn’t let me do that.Suddenly a month ago he told me that he loves someone else and is in relationship with her and cares about her.Hearing this I lashed out at him saying many things that he didn’t love me truly and how can he gave my place to somebody else.He apologized to me and said I can’t make force him to love me.He has become cold since then.I have acted needy and desperate till date in order to get him back.
    I seriously love him a lot and we were very good together.I just made a few mistakes which resulted in fight.But he didn’t gave me a chance to correct anything instead he went to a new girl
    He told me to move on but it is really hard and hurtful .
    Kindly help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 15, 2020 at 9:05 pm

      Hi Angelina, I understand it is hard when your ex tells you they have met someone else, but the first thing you nee to do now is go into a 45 day no contact – if he doesn’t like it that’s tough on him he ended things with you. He does not get to decide if you speak to him or not. Your free choice to do so! Work through some articles on this website about being ungettable, about the being there method and make sure that you work to be the best version of yourself to show your ex what he is missing out on by not being with you. Use social media to show you are happy and living your life and not sat around upset about him and his new relationship.

  4. Avatar

    Lil bit

    October 27, 2020 at 3:27 pm

    I broke up with my ex 4 months ago. After about 2 weeks I did the no contact . So after 6 weeks I tried to make casual contact we texted a few times back and to . I then finally ask if he would like to have lunch with me since I was going to be visiting his town this particular weekend. He said that wasnt a good idea since hes seeing someone. I said ok I understand. Then the day I actually was headed out to his town he texted and said he broke up with this lady and wanted to have lunch . We had a great time . He said I seemed different and we spent the night together. He messaged me a couple days . He posted a meme on Facebook about dance before the music stops and live life while your alive. I put a heart on it and then the new guy girl commented that she wish that could of been him and her. That’s when he grew cold and I started questioning him and he got upset . I’m pretty certain hes back with her now cause he cant go without sex. Hes a very sexual person and he ignores even the simple friendly text I try to send. Have I lost him forever? I feel like no contact made it worse.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 28, 2020 at 4:21 am

      Hey there, no the no contact did not make things worse. The fact you spent the night with him without commitment from him, along with the possibility of being with the other woman too is likely why he has pulled back. Read up about the being there method and how to follow this if he gets into a relationship with this other person. Make sure that you read articles about texting, and how to get him interested in talking to you.

  5. Avatar


    September 5, 2020 at 6:38 pm

    I really need help. My spouse that I have been with for 11 left me 3 weeks ago and the next day he was with someone else. They have been together since he left me. They work together. Well he works on the road and she works in the office. He says that he’s happy in his relationship yet the other day he wanted to leave her because she pissed him off. I still love him and want him back. We can’t completely go no contact since we have 3 kids together and they live with me. He has no place to live in right now. Basically he’s couch surfing, but he’s says he’s happy with her, but he also wants to find a place he can afford on his own incase something happens with her and they leave each other. I feel like he still loves me but he says that the door is closed. I am changing myself, I lost weight and I feel good, but I miss him so so much. I feel like he doesn’t want to get back with me because he’s afraid that I will do the same things I did from before. But he also has his part to do with how I was acting with him. I would go through his phone because sometimes I would feel like he was off and wouldn’t talk to me. I also lost trust in him because he wouldn’t stick to his words or he would say things then do the opposite, he once told me not to worry about a certain person yet he told me that they would cuddle in bed and he almost slept with her. That’s when I lost all trust 5 years ago. I just want him to know that I want him back but it’ll be a new relationship, he told me that we were never getting back together, and that he sees a futur with her. I really would love advice on how I can get him back so we both can have stability and help each other grow. He said that she’s exactly the same as he is. He never liked smokers or pot yet she does both. He always said that she didn’t interest him yet they’re together. I don’t understand. Please help it would be greatly appreciated thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 1, 2020 at 2:19 pm

      Hi Melanie, it sounds hurtful but it sounds as if your partner was already involved with this woman romantically if he left you and immediately went to her. I would say that you need to work on yourself and complete a limited no contact, where you would only speak to him about the children in a “need to know” basis. If one of them were to fall sick for example. Otherwise do not speak with him. Read about the Holy Trinity, and being Ungettable and apply this to yourself in this time so that he can see you are doing great with out him and wonder how you bounced back so quickly.

  6. Avatar

    Mickella Marie

    June 16, 2020 at 9:22 am

    Well techniquely for me he was into me for a long time texting me evryday, calls and what not for around 10 months.However , I wasnt ready to date. So I told him him my feelins changes and he told me to leave him alone kella. However its been 6 months since we talked.He has gf now but we still text and its been postive. I told him I had feelings for him and he said “Ohh .but before I told you I like you kella you at first you told me that you cant something like that” . I find it odd his seeing someone and still talks to me and takes time to reply even asked me how to find some stupid equipment . I dont know what to do.I feel like he still has feelings there.

  7. Avatar


    June 9, 2020 at 4:54 pm

    Hi my bf broke up with me about a month now and he is in a relationship with another girl……. We have been together for three years and we were planning on getting married but he lost his dad and thats when everything changed he told me that he just wanted out then… He starts to call me everyday on video calls 2 or 3 times per day, he asks me to accompany him at places, he has even asked me to spend the night at his place on several occasions since we broke up, but I have not gone to, the most recent one is that he came to see me and he gave me a kiss and asked me if that’s all the kiss I had for him so I kissed him back and he lifted me up and said to me you are beautiful and I said you are looking handsome too and he hugged me and showed me a new exercise for getting my waistline slim to get that perfect shape he said…. I asked him why did he kissed me he said because he wanted to…… Here are the questions I want to ask
    1 can it be because of his father’s death it has traumatized him and caused him to be confused?
    2 why is it he still takes an interest in my well-being?
    3 Is it that he still loves me and want to be with me because he keeps saying I wish there was something I could do to fix us but I should just let things work themselves out and I shouldn’t stress about it.
    4 What do I do ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 16, 2020 at 8:52 pm

      Hi Shanice, so if he is with the other girl still, then you need to complete a 45 day No Contact where you make him think you are moving on. Where you work on your Holy Trinity and then reach out following the information of the being there method if he is still with her by that time. By the sounds of things he is not that interested in this other girl but he is cheating with you if he is still in a relationship. So I would set the record straight that you will not be the other woman

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    May 16, 2020 at 10:19 pm

    i love this

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    May 8, 2020 at 11:19 am

    Please guide me what to do next to get him back I love him a lot that he also know.
    He is not properly answering my text,so I said one time then he said he is busy that’s why he can’t talk properly right now,next day happened same I asked he said he was talking to ‘piyu’ and talk went long,next day same happened same I asked he said talking to piyu then I slept,then next day I burst and said too busy man,than he said what happened?I said fucked in my ass happened,he said u r too angry oh!! I said seriously it happened I won’t spare him till my last breathe& I am this that abusive I said to me,then I said he used me,then he asked who? I said my ex,he said what are you saying? I said in “my dreams”. Actually indirectly I said to him coz he is only my ex. Then he said listen and said he is in relationship with piyu.I asked when how?. He said 12 days before we confessed. And even I asked him about the same again he said it’s true and I asked him that he loves me for the first time he said no & I asked you love piyu he said undoubtedly yes and said a lot about her and said he spent 3 m with her & has feelings for her and I replied okay.then I said piyu congrats! She replied thanx a lot.

    Actually we live very far and share a bond of love since 5 years he said me we could be friend.Piyu is her college good mate and best frnd.I live far.He has told about me to his family and frnd that I am his good frnd that loves him a lot. I reminded him by sending audio he sent me 6 months back for our love & mistakes for he was sorry.But he doesn’t respond.Then I took a decision and left his piyu & him on happy note. Then next day I got SMS of “haa”.I didn’t reply.Then I after a while unfollowed him on Instagram but he used to follow me and check my stories.i didn’t unfollow his mom.Than after few days I post a story that I am in relationship and I love him which he had seen.And now I am in no contact rule.In lockdown we are in same town and that girl is far.
    Before we had a plan that after my exams I will come to near his place,we had a discussion on it also but also in our that conversation he said you have all no surety plan” and before this all mess happened we discussed about our past and the key chain I gave him 5 yrs back was also with him,he showed me pic of that.

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    March 15, 2020 at 10:55 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago after a 2-year long relationship. We have a beautiful daughter together and because of that, we are constantly in contact. Recently, I found out that he is dating someone else. 2 weeks before I found out, he asked me if we could try to make things work again and I rejected his offer because I was afraid that we still needed more time to clear our minds and issues that we had carried with us through the entire relationship. I am not sure to what extent his new dating relationship is as far as seriousness. I still love him and I want to try everything in my power to reunite my family. It is obviously very hard to distance ourselves from each other because of our daughter. He texts me every day to ask about her, but that is it. He is very distanced from me which hurts me very much. I have to say that the reason why we broke up is my fault because I pushed him away. If the no-contact method isn’t the best for me to try to get him back, then what do I do? I would like to rekindle our passion but we talk almost every day about the baby, so there is no opportunity for him to miss me, and if there is, all the negative memories come to his mind. Please help and thank you in advance for your response! It is truly appreciated.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 3:03 pm

      Hey Maria, take a look at this post this will help explain the limited no contact concept when you share children. Also if he is in a relationship with someone else make sure you are looking into the being there method too.

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    March 5, 2020 at 6:22 am

    Hi Chris,

    My ex broke up with me in November last year, after a long distance relationship of 7 years, and puts me in the friend zone. I didn’t agree with that, so I did the NC fully for about 2 months to make him feel what it felt like havent contact with me. After I saw that he deleted me from social media, I contacted him on whatsapp. He told me that he didn’t wanted to be confronted with seeing me with another man and vice versa. Also that he isn’t in a relationship. Me gut and out of those conversations we had, i can tell he has a gf. Why can’t he come clean?
    In the convo we had he was cold then hot and vice versa and said that he will give me the space to detach emotionally from him. I deleted him from whatsapp and he knows that.

    Fyi, i have been there through good and bad, giving my all, helping, understanding him , like no one ever. He opened up to me, tells me about his past (child trauma) and said that im a one in a million that knows this. He never gave me or us the chance to get each other more in reallife, which is unfair. How can i make him realize what he is letting go? What should i do now?

    Thank you in advance

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 12, 2020 at 12:11 pm

      Hi Lulu so you can not make him realise what he is letting go of, but you can work on your influence on social media and my mutual friends to let him feel like he made a mistake. But this takes time and work on your part. Read the Ungettable posts and apply this to your life, make sure that you also complete a 45 day no contact before speaking to him again as part of this process. Make sure that you read the being there method too so that if he does have someone new in his life.

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    February 17, 2020 at 4:23 am

    My ex and I have been broken up for a year but we stayed in contact until I went no contact for a month and a half. Today I found out that he is talking to a new girl and he took her on a date on Valentine’s Day. I called him and asked about her and he was honest about everything and he told me about her and that they were just talking but not dating yet. I was super mature about it and I told him that I wished him the best and that I would stay out of the way and that I didn’t want to be in contact with him in any way unless he wasn’t with her because I didn’t want to mess anything up between them and he told me he was actually really glad that I called him and he said that it was very out of character for me to be so mature and understanding about the whole situation but that he really appreciated my maturity and I told him that me and my family will always love him and if he needs anything let me know and then I left it at that. What should I do now? We’ve been broken up for a year and he had many opportunities to be in a relationship with me but he kept saying that he wasn’t ready for a relationship but he revealed to me tonight that he never had any intentions of getting back together with me and that he had moved on and that my immaturity and toxicity just made him never want to be with me again. Do I move on and drop all hope of this relationship working or do I wait and see where it goes?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 17, 2020 at 10:49 am

      Hey Peyton you need to read about the being there method, the information is on this website and there are videos on Chris YouTube channel to help you too. If you want to move on of course you can but if you want to try and get your ex back then this is an option

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    December 27, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    Hey. My ex boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for a few weeks when we broke up. Prior to my relocating for a job he and I had been together for 2.5 years and lived together for a year. We had been arguing over mistakes of the past and the stress of long distance ultimately broke us up. After not contacting him for 30 days I reached out and asked to get lunch since I was in town for the holidays. Initially he was hesitant but said yes as long as I didn’t get the wrong impression. He told me that he didn’t know if a person could have really changed in a month but he was beginning to see me again as the girl he fell in love with. He also told me that he had started talking to another girl. He told me we could start communicating as long as getting back together wasn’t the only reason. He said “I think my wanting to communicate is a positive sign.” I asked if we could schedule a weekly call but he said that didn’t feel natural. That if I met a guy at a bar i wouldn’t schedule time to talk so he didn’t want to do that. What should I do? Do I not talk to him or implement the being there method you guys have talked about.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 12:08 am

      Hey Marie, so you need to do another No contact and not skip the value chain! You coming out of a 30 day no contact and asking for a meet up is going way way too fast you should spend some time texting ( as in few weeks) introducing some phone calls and then facetime etc because you are long distance. And then a meet up after you have been in touch after a couple of months and got him to invest time in talking with you

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    December 25, 2019 at 9:55 pm

    My bf of 4 yrs kicked me out & took my car he bought me unexpectedly almost 2 months ago. He would reach out every now & then but didn’t really say much & never explained why he left me. 2wks ago he made me come out from my job to speak said he wasn’t done. Didn’t really talk much after that but he would txt small things here & there. 3 days ago I unexpectedly walked into him and what appeared to be an underage girl with her mother. We all got in a huge fight. I called the next day he answered. I kept calling he blocked my number from both phones except my last resort which is my txt app. I talked to him again yesterday he said don’t call & I knew this was coming. But if he moved on he would have been blocked my whole number & never answered. I have stopped & started the No contact today. Will this last? Will he come bck?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 29, 2019 at 10:52 pm

      Stick with a full no contact for 45 days and do not reach out to him at all. Work on yourself your emotional control and how to improve factors of your life you are unhappy with and from there you can reach out as a friend and try to re build your connection when your 45 days is over

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    Lucille may

    December 9, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    Hi chris my partner of 11 years just left me for another woman he had only met for one week, it’s only been eight weeks but moved in with her straight away she has two small children, and they are already engaged, she has two older children who do not approve ,do you think he will ever come back I’ve texted him lots but only answers when he needs to , he doesn’t want to see me he as told me he has never felt happier, I’m in bits and close to a nervous break down, what do you think my chances are

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 11, 2019 at 8:47 pm

      Hi Lucille, so I think you need to take a step back and go into a No Contact so that you allow yourself to focus and heal from whats happened to you. The fact hes moved so fast with this other woman its going to crash and burn just as fast. But what you do not want to be is their common enemy where they both argue and blame you for their issues. So going into No Contact where your ex has time to realise his mistakes. While you find yourself again, after being with him for 11 years it will take time for you to get used to being on your own again but it does do you the world of good too. It does help you grow as a persona and that is coming from experience

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    October 15, 2019 at 7:52 am

    Hi, i was with my best friend and soul mate for ten years. Since we were 15. The last year things felt different and I developed the grass looks greener syndrome. I left him to months ago for one of our mutual friends. It was no good. But since being with him, it really made me love and appreciate my ex so much because no one is ever going to understand me like that and vice versa. We literally grew up together. When we were together, the last year I was very depressed, not making much money etc, and he grew frustrated with me but stuck by my side. When I left him, the new guy did the same exact thing to me so I have a complete understanding now of my ex’s frustrations he had with me. I want to do anything I can to make up for it and be the best person I can be for him, because that’s what I should’ve done the entire time but sometimes I feel like it takes seeing what life could be like without eachother to really realize it isn’t what you want. I reached out to him for the first time in 2 months today asking if we could talk, he CALLED me within 1 minute. I apologized and told him I ruined my life by leaving him. He seemed kind of upset by his voice. But he told me he had to go because his new girlfriend was coming over, that isn’t fair to her if hes on the phone with me, but he said he’d call me soon. I apologized again and he told me we’d make time to talk about it. I’m trying to be hopeful. His new girlfriend is ten years older than him with a 4 year old and my ex is nooooot a kid person what so ever. Never wanted any, nevermind someone else’s. So I’m hoping his eagerness and willingness to talk to me is and saying he’d call me soon and we’ll talk about it, I hope I can have the chance to do what I should’ve done a year ago. I have such clarity now and I don’t want to live the rest of my life knowing I ruined everything for myself over something so simple but I’m jumped the gun ☹️ we were eachothers PEOPLE. 100% did everything together. Grew up together. Best friends through and through. Do you think there might be a chance here? I’ve never written on one of these things before lol but thank you! Hopefully everything works out

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 15, 2019 at 4:04 pm

      Hi Ciara, so it does depend on how the phone call goes from there. The actions you took will have damaged his trust in you so hopefully you can read up on how to work on that if he is willing to give you another chance. You also need to read the being there method if hes going to choose the new girlfriend and you decide you want him back.

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    September 17, 2019 at 9:52 pm

    Hi Chris
    I am desperate for help!
    I was with my ex BF 6 years, he left me christmas day due to not being happy, he just ran off and ghosted me. We hung out once a week for the next 6 months, me telling him he is welcome back anytime. Then he blocked me and I found out he was seeing someone, I confronted him and the police got involved, he turned down an injunction. I became a beg, and annoying him, Ive pushed him away now and he is living in her flat with her! He added me back on everything 3 weeks ago and we have been talking daily rebuilding our friendship, untill I became a beg again and he blocked me. We had a huge fight last week his sister told me has been cheating on me with this woman for 2 years. I went to his pub he runs to talk yesterday, he denied it all. He said he desperatly needs space to sort his head and in 9 months he hasnt had 1 day without me contacting him, he cuddled me and said he will be in touch when he is ready. He was so angry, I know I need to leave him alone we cant move forward like this! I wrote him a letter today explaining how I feel and accepting we need space, how I want to fix things but I cant promise I will be waiting around. Do you think I have a chance? I cant give up on us but I know I havent given him a single day to miss me! Ive always been available, I know this woman he is lodging with isnt right for him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 19, 2019 at 5:22 pm

      Hi Alice, everyone who gives this program a go and follows through with the advice are giving themselves the best chance of getting their ex back. Complete a NC and read all the materials you can relating to your situation and you’ll see progress 🙂

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    September 14, 2019 at 9:20 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My ex and I broke up nearly 2 years ago after 2 years together, and we work together. We got on fine until April of this year and haven’t even attempted friendship since.
    Over 2 years ago, a friend from work (I’ll call her Jane) and I were as close as we could be and whenever i had issues with my ex she would remind me how much we loved each other and he was besotted with me. She was the one who pushed me into giving the relationship a try from the start. She began seeing another guy from work but was cheating on him the entire time. Jane asked me what to do and I said that she needed to choose and if he asked I wouldn’t lie. My ex agreed with me but Jane was furious, and we have never spoke since.
    I have found out that Jane has started seeing me ex. I am heartbroken. Neither know that I know but apparently it has been going on for around 2 months. When he and I started a relationship, after 2 months we were very serious. I know I don’t speak to either and don’t maintain a friendship with either, but it still feels like a betrayal and that the friendship and relationship meant nothing.
    Please help!

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    September 9, 2019 at 4:44 am

    Hi Chris,
    Just a question. My ex left me for his ex. They were gf/bf 20 years ago and reunited. Is it considered as a rebound or cheating? He lied to that girl that he said, we broke up since last year which is not true. We were still on during that time. He told me before we broke up that i dont have enough effort or i am not constant until i discovered that he reunited with his ex. Is that considered a rebound or a continuation of their flames. Thank you for your wonderful article.

    1. Shaunna


      September 12, 2019 at 9:30 pm

      Hi Dana, whats happened here is he has the grass is greener syndrome. At the moment he thinks this woman is the better option for him. What you need to do is be your best version of yourself. Be Ungettable, there is lots of material for you to read about both issues on this website 🙂

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    August 17, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My guy and I were in a so called relationship for about a year and a half. We did have lots of fights but we are just two very opinionated people. We always came out on the other side. We would talk, text and FaceTime more than once a day, everyday. We were pretty much even living together. He always said he didn’t want a girlfriend but we had the unspoken no dating other people rule. A few months ago I took a new job which has me based on the other side of the country but I’m able to and do fly home every week for a few days. A few weeks ago he went on a 2 week backpacking trip and ended developing feelings for the girl he went with. He told me that we had grown apart and that I left. But that’s not true. Things were still working up until the last week of his trip. He told me he’s invested in this new girl and trying things. I know that couldn’t have been the end for us and I know things would work if we got the chance but I’m at a loss of what to do. He’s pretty much blocked me from all his social media and life. Please help!

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