It can really hurt when an ex boyfriend (who you still have feelings for) has moved on to another girl. Many women lose all hope of getting their ex back when they learn their boyfriend has taken up with a new girlfriend. Others will get angry and immediately look to start a fight, lashing out out their ex.  Rarely will you ever come across one that does the smart thing, stacking the odds in her favor!

So how do you win back an ex who is with someone else?  Well, my short, expert answer is:

To maximize your chances of success of getting your ex boyfriend back if he already has a girlfriend you should recognize the focus must be on you creating value in yourself and and finding ways to make your ex see how you are becoming what  I call, the Ungettable Girl.

Learning how to get your ex back even if he has a new girlfriend is not going to entirely rest entirely on making him jealous.  Nor is it going to depend on you sabotaging their relationship (that tactic rarely works and usually backfires).  It’s going to take a full commitment to rising above the hateful feelings that might be bubbling up.  I know the feeling of rejection cannot feel worse under these circumstances.

But if you are trying to get back an ex boyfriend who has moved on and now hates you more because of the ugliness that ensued upon you learning he is now with someone else, you need to implement a strategic plan

So don’t dig a deeper hole for yourself.

By the way, if you haven’t already read my epic article on how to get your ex boyfriend back I suggest you drop everything for the next 30 minutes (yes 30 minutes) and go read it!

7  New Signs That Your Ex Has Moved On and Now Is With Someone Else?

Is it possible you can spot when your boyfriend is slipping away?  In the back of your mind, you may already suspect your boyfriend is with someone else.  And clearly there are telltale signs you can spot that will point to him slipping out of your life.  But what if he is already your ex, but it hasn’t been that long since the breakup.

Perhaps part of you is still hoping for  a reconciliation.  You may be thinking this falling out you have had with your ex boyfriend won’t last long. You may think that it has happened in the past, so certainly the two of you will find a way to work it out.

That is what many girls think when a breakup occurs.  There is often a certain degree of disbelieve, a suspension of acceptance to the new relationship situation.  You may never think that your ex would have a new girlfriend after a month or even sooner.  But it happens.

So what signs are there that speak to whether ” does he still like me or has he moved on to a new girlfriend”?

After all, that is what you will come to fear as days go by without hearing from your ex.  You will wonder “how could my ex move on so quickly”.  You may think to yourself, “my ex has moved on but I haven’t and it hurts.”

There are 7 signs that point to your ex boyfriend moving on from you emotionally and finding another girl.  Whether she stole his heart or he was already involved with her before the breakup is something we will take up later.  But for now, what are the signs your ex is falling for another girl or is already involved with a new girlfriend since you guys busted up.

1. You are hearing rumors of sightings of your ex boyfriend with another girl.

2. When you check your ex boyfriend’s social media pages (Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram), you are seeing pictures and stories that leave you out, but consistently includes a new face of a new girl.

3. Your ex, who use to still text you even after the break up, has gone silent and is not responsive to your texts.

4. In an effort not to hurt you further, your ex boyfriend tells you that he went out on double date or was hanging out with another girl, but it’s not serious.  Truth be told, your ex likely wouldn’t go out of his way to tell you this unless something more was going on.  Guilt is playing on his mind.

5. Your ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend posts pics on Facebook or Snapchat of her and your ex together.

6. He tells you that he needs some space and is through with girls, yet you know from your experience he loves women and is always in their company.

7. Your ex boyfriend blocks you from seeing his social media pages, cutting all other ties with you immediately after your questioning of whether he is dating someone else.  In effect, he is doing a sloppy job of trying to cover his tracks.

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10 Signs That Your Boyfriend Has NOT Moved On or Given Up On You

Sometimes, after a breakup, you will come to fear that your ex will move on and replace you with some other girl he knows or has talked about.  This fear can be paralyzing and occupy hours of your day as your obsess over whether your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend or how to deal with this if it should happen.

You may dream of fantasy scenarios where you discover your ex now has a new girl in his life, but since you want him back quickly, you will pull off some dramatic sequence of events that will miraculously bring your him back to you.    If you are afflicted with such thoughts, what you probably need to do is take a deep breath and remind yourself you can’t know everything and nor can you control all his decisions.

But there are some signs that reveal your ex has NOT moved on.  They include:

1. There is no evidence or rumors or whispers that your ex boyfriend has been seen with anyone else

2. You and your ex have only been broken up for a few days and communications are not completely cut off.

3. Your ex boyfriend still initiates contact, checking up on you.

4. When reviewing your ex boyfriend’s Facebook page, Shapchat or Instagram stories, there is no signs of another female in his life.

5. You know his former girlfriend and there is no new stirrings on her social media accounts or whispers that she wants back with her ex.

6. The breakup between you and your ex was relatively civil and did not involve harsh accusations or threats.

7. It has only been a few days or weeks since the two of you split up without any obvious evidence pointing to a new gal on the horizon.

8. There were no previous signs of your ex boyfriend cheating on you while the relationship was ongoing.

9. There is no history of your ex being unfaithful to you or with any of his other girlfriends of the past.

10. You are hearing and have come to believe that this breakup has been hard on your ex boyfriend.

Remember The Most Important Thing Is To Have a Strategy

Before you do anything rash in trying to help your ex boyfriend realize that his new girlfriend is NOT as good as you, it’s important that you understand the role the No Contact Rule plays in this whole process. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into this principle. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.

If you don’t have the patience to read that entire page, let me sum up some of the most important points for you.

No Contact Does Not Mean You Are Giving Up On Your Ex Just Because He Has Found a New Lady Friend!

What it means is that you are going to be smart and fist focus on your own recovery, while at the same time increase your own value as he perceives you.  So how does this principle work?

  • No contact means no communications what so ever for 30 days (1 full month.)
  • It means no texting, calling, emailing, letters, Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram messaging to him or stalking or Googling.
  • During your 30 day freeze out, make sure you improve yourself both mentally and physically, bettering your game in multiple areas of your life.

You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has fallen for a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing.  You are going to want to contact your ex very badly and you probably are not going to have many good things to say.  So don’t go there.  It only hurts you inside and hurts your chances.

Now before we get into what your game plan should consist of, let’s preview 5 common queries you may have:

1. How on earth did you ex boyfriend end up with a new girlfriend?

2. How is it that he seemingly replaced you with a new woman?

3. In what way did you fail him that he could so easily start up a new thing with this girl?

4. Why did your ex boyfriend so quickly start up a new relationship?

5. Is It normal for an ex to have a new girlfriend only after a few days?

5 New Case Study Situations That Explain How and Why Your Ex Got His New Girlfriend.  Is He Worth It? Should You Get Him Back?

New Girlfriend

Sometimes, trying to keep the hope alive that you can get your ex boyfriend back is unfair to you.  Certain relationship situations can evolve to a place where working to get him back could be a big mistake, maybe bigger than getting involved with him in the first place.

So when we have situations where an breakup has happened and an ex boyfriend discards you for another girlfriend both swiftly and with an air of arrogance and insensitivity, you need to think long and hard before going after a guy that may very well only hurt you very deeply again.

Believe it or not, how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline five situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that would be worthwhile to pursue and three of the situations are going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back. Let’s begin.

Situation 1 – You Initiate The Break Up and He Finds A New Girlfriend

You broke up with your boyfriend, then realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. The breakup was clean and you handled it well and he took it well, except he was clearly damaged by your decision.  If you are in this situation, then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex back of you genuinely feel the problems you both experienced can be overcome.  The relationship he is in now could be a rebound or it could flame out.  It is also possible he is playing the jealousy card.

Situation 2 – He Leaves You and Steps Into a Rebound Relationship

He broke up with you and perhaps thinking that the grass is greener, decided to try out the field.  Eventually he settles in with a new woman and already you can see his over the top expectations with his new found “love”  could lead to problems.  Again, this is a really common situation and you may discover his new found lover is far from the right match. So it would be worth going forward with your action plan.

Situation 3- He Cheated On You During the Relationship and Lied

He left you for another girl. That hurts a lot.  But then you learn later that he has been cheating on you the entire time the two of you were together.  Then he says he wants to still sleep with you, though he is still with this other woman.  Really?  Was he ever in love with you?  Were you his rebound for this other girlfriend in his life?  Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here.  This guy is not someone that you should want to get back with.

Situation 4:  Your Ex Boyfriend Is Dating Your Sister

The two of you fought a lot. You were never convinced if you could trust him.  The relationship did not last very long.  You both went your on ways, pretty disgusted with each other, though the sex was great.  In fact, it was so good, you both ended up together in bed shortly after the breakup.  But now you have learned your ex boyfriend is dating your sister.  In this case, my advice is hands off.  This guy is already demonstrated he is trouble and unreliable.  Despite the awesome sex, you are far better off taking your awesome self on another path and find another guy.

Situation 5: Your Ex Cheated On You With Your Best Friend

So you find yourself in a situation where you can’ t decide who you should be more angry and disgusted with.  Your ex or your best friend.  And while you still have feelings for your ex boyfriend, you can’t get the images of the two of them out of your mind.  Neither of them realize that you are on to them.  It’s decision time.  What do you do?  In this case, it is a sort of no win situation as everybody is losing something.  So you confront them both.  They both lie.  Then you provide proof and everything collapses from there.  Now everyone is on their on, with plenty of confused, hurt, and hard feelings to go around.  My advise to you is to keep it that way.  Your ex bf crossed a big line.  And so did your best friend.  So I recommend you just utilize an extended no contact period and allow for the chips to fall where they may, but keeping the focus on your own self recovery.

5 Wicked Truths To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back When A New Girlfriend Is In the Picture


This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Let’s explore!

Truth 1: Don’t Communicate With Your Ex and His New Girlfriend – Leave Them Alone

Not contacting your ex and is new girl is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong. Getting mad, breaking down and texting your ex a hateful message about his new girlfriend isn’t going to help your ultimate goal is it? Instead, be cool and don’t worry, every dog has it’s day.

Truth 2: Allow Time For Your Ex Boyfriend’s New Relationship to Falter

It’s not always easy dating someone new. Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is not as comfortable in his new relationship as you may have thought. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step…

Truth 3: If It’s a Rebound Relationship It Will Blow Up On Its On

Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. Lucky for you, rebound relationships don’t last forever. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships are bound to fail. So, the odds are in your favor.  Just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. Don’t add fuel to their relationship.  Remember, if you freak out you are going to make a lot of mistakes and mistakes aren’t going to help get you two back together.

Truth 4: Your Ex Boyfriend Will Grow To Miss You As Time Goes By

It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets, the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things (like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup) he will remember all the good things, particularly when he is constantly forced to compare you against the realities of his new girlfriend.  His notion that she would be so great for him, may likely not pan out, thereby increasing your value. This can definitely work in your favor.

Truth 5: You Can Be Strategic During The No Contact Period To Enhance Your Value

This is probably the most important truth and ex recovery strategy of them all.  You should not be sitting idly by.  You are going to be using this time to heal and striving to become the best version of YOU.  And you are going to see to it that you ex boyfriend notices all these wonderful changes.  So too will his new girlfriend.  So how do you win back your ex who is shacking up with another girl, someone of his supposed dreams?  You make sure that you portray the view of somebody who is happy, beautiful, ungettable, sexy, and AVAILABLE.  So you are going to employ some little jealousy traps and many other value building activities and tactics.

New Ways To Cope If Your Ex Left You For Another Woman


It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else. I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Remember, just because he is dating someone new doesn’t mean your chances are gone completely. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you.

5 Frequently Asked Questions and What You Should Know and How To Cope

Here is a rundown on the kind of thoughts and questions many women have when dealing with an ex who has found him someone else. Here is what you may be thinking and why its OK.

1. He left me for someone else and I am wondering if it will last?

Just know that these kinds of relationships with a new lady often have a short fuse. Don’t panic.  Give it at least 3 months before you draw any meaningful conclusions.  But don’t wait on him.  Get busy with life.

2. My ex boyfriend left me for someone else he loves more.  Will he ever come back to me?

You really can’t be sure if this new girlfriend in his world loves him or if he loves her.  Appearances, particularly after a breakup, can be misleading.  So give time a chance to unwind the truth of their relationship. Your ex certainly won’t come back if you approach the situation with desperation or begging.  What you want to do is have a plan to get yourself noticed by him in a positive way.

3. What do you do if your ex leaves you for another and then he still wants to be friends with you?

You need to be careful here that you don’t get involved in a friends with benefits situation.  He left you for a reason.  Maybe it’s not  a good reason. Maybe he is not the right man for you.  Perhaps you still want him back.  I would caution you about remaining a real good friend if you want him again, because it will send him conflicting signals that he might still be able to be with you and have casual sex.  Its better to employ a strategy of No Contact and explore that angle first, before you opt to be just a friend.

4. My ex boyfriend dropped me and is now dating my co-worker.

Your game plan should not change. Certainly, things might be somewhat more awkward, but there could be some positives you can take from this situation.  If your co-worker who is now dating your ex comes into work one day with tears, then maybe something good/bad is happening.  Also, there may be times when you see them together at the work setting (before or after work).  You can use this opportunity to make a classy appearance, showcasing your wonderful, happy looking self.

5. My ex left me for someone else and now wants me back as he says we deserve another chance.

That seems awful convenient for him. So how do you deal with being dumped for someone else, then he comes crawling back?  Should you just take him back in, forgiving your ex for his foolishness?  Of course, exactly what you do depends on your history and other circumstances, but I would caution you to move slowly.  If you have not had adequate time to deal with the pain and hurt of what he did to you, tell him you need time.  If he can’t accept that, then he is not worth pursuing.  And if you choose to restart the relationship, do so like you are dating for the first time.  Do it in small steps.  No sex on the first or second dates.  He needs to demonstrate he regrets his decision.

5 Ways To Heal After Learning Your Ex Is Involved With Somebody Else

1. Keep The Focus On You

Try your best not to obsess over his situation and this new girl. You can’t control what he does but you can control what your own actions. Go out and have fun. Make new friends. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself.

2. It’s Not Your Fault He Chased After This New Girlfriend

Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did wrong or something that they could not provide. Dating isn’t always black and white like that. Whatever happens, make sure you don’t let an ex boyfriends actions affect how you feel about yourself.

3. Accept That There Will Be Pain

You are not a robot. You can’t just turn off your feelings. It’s OK to feel pain over the situation, but once that pain starts creeping into your everyday life and effecting how you live then you have problems.

4. Beware Of The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome

This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page. Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back, just because someone else has them. They may be disgusted by his actions and may not even want him any longer, but can’t stand the thought of another woman with him at this time. If you find that you are in this situation, be very careful about proceeding to get him back or ruining his efforts. You may need to go back and do some serious soul searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.

5. Resist Any Comparisons

It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new (hopefully temporary) girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all.  Just know that you have your own special qualities that no one can duplicate.

3 Clever Actions You Can Take To Help Your Ex Recovery Cause

actions to take

So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze. Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control.

I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use! However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

(Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.)

1. Watch For Trouble Signs

No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Each one has it’s ups and downs. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you.

2. Initiate Contact Via Text Message

At the right time, test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.

3. Be Very Nice To Him And His New Girlfriend

If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response, be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting, but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it.  Remember, you are becoming the Ungettable girl. You don’t need to trash her or him because he blew by letting you go and she is probably way out of his league.

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3,711 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. LiLA keney

    June 27, 2013 at 2:18 am

    my ex boyfriend and i broke up like 2 month ago, but we stil be friend and hang out together becuz we known that we still in love but cant be lover any more. and then he start to get a new girl 3 weeks go to now. I did no begging, act like friend , act lịke i have no more feeling with him, no actually contact ( sometime, very little by mess) and he same like he like her alot , he block my facebook becuz i updated a status make he think i have feeling with another guy( i think he want to focus on his girl , then kick me out of his line) but i stil act like i dont care. And then he found out that his girl still in lov with her ex, and he felt so sad then he told me he broke up with her , i dont know they still fight each other or not, but he has no contact with me, even thought he said he broke up with this girl. I dont know what to do . Did he move on from me, doesnt love me any more. Plz help me this situation. I really love him, he told me that becuz some how we cant love any more but if we can come back he will marry me

    1. admin


      June 28, 2013 at 12:40 am

      Give it some time, try no contact out and then come back later.

    2. LiLA keney

      June 29, 2013 at 5:36 am

      thank so much for ur advice 🙂 I still doing the no contact rule. And 2 days next his girl will be far away for 1 months so is that my chance or something 🙁 or i just keep doing the NC and then his girl will be back 🙁 Im so hurt right now, miss him so much. Dont know what to do in this situation, plz help me , tell me what should i do 🙁 thanks so much for helping

    3. admin


      June 30, 2013 at 9:47 pm

      Maybe what you could do is try a NC period of 15 days instead of 30 and give it a try?

    4. LilA keney

      July 1, 2013 at 6:07 am

      thank you so much , i already finish15 days, and today he contact me and he said he unfollow me in instagram with the reason that he saw i flirt with another man,because he still have feeling for me. And he act lịke he very angry with me and he want to delete me in his life, but after a short talk we back to normal and start be friend again. So, is that he still love me or not. what i have to do next. Im so confused now, dont know what to do. Plz help me, T.T

    5. admin


      July 2, 2013 at 3:17 am

      Seems like he still has feelings which is a really good sign. Now, I would say it’s time to push his emotional hot buttons. Work on SLOWLY getting him to feel like he felt during your relationship (during the good times of course.)

  2. Rhoe

    June 27, 2013 at 2:03 am

    Help!!! My ex and I are done but we both still love other…he has a girlfriend……help me please

    1. admin


      June 28, 2013 at 12:39 am

      Can you give any more details?

    2. mel

      June 30, 2013 at 2:30 am

      I understand how you feel im in that same situation right now.

  3. Aurora

    June 26, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    Please help!!!!!!!!
    Ok so me and my ex boyfriend andre have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years and some months. since we were 14yrs old. and now he is 19 and im about to be 19 soon. i live in Texas and he lives in brooklyn. we were very in love! until one day i made a mistake and flirted with this dude on facebook i told him i was in a relationship and asked the man why he was singe. he said his girlfriend cheated on him and i told him he wouldnt be single for long! andre got really upset and with that being the biggest mistake i made he held it aginst me and everytime i said “I love you!” he started to say you dont love me! well we were getting better way better. but we were broken up for like 4 months but were still talking like a couple about marriage and stuff. then i started asking oneday if he wanted me still, i said andre if you dont want me can you please tell me so that i can move on! i promised it would not hurt my feelings. he said im not answering that. so then a week goes by and we have phone sex. and the first flag was he had gotten way better at it. usually he was reserved but he was not now! i ignored it. well 3 days go by we are talking on the phone and laughing and he tells me he will call me back. then were teting. then he texts me “why arent you answeringgggg?” im at work so i text back im answering but your too busy with your new friends. Because he started hanging out with people from his job, and he was going to a party, and he never parties. but then i text him later and im like “andre?” he said “yea” i say how was the party? and he never texted me back so i start calling and texting and sending him video messages and i even wrote him a 2 page letter expressing how i felt thinking i did something wrong! well then i find out on may 21st that he has a new girl friend! and he has been dating her since april 5th (his birthday) and he stopped talking to me on April 27th! i was crushed. now idk what to do! i am moving to newyork soon and i dont know if i should contact him. i have not contacted him since may 21st but i miss my baby! i dont know what to do! please help. I believe in love! and i know i want this to work. but his new girlfriend lives near him! and he is sleeping with her and he was a virgen just like me! how could he just kick me to the curb. oh and the new girlfriend works with him! answers please!!!

    1. admin


      June 27, 2013 at 12:48 am

      Hi Aurora,

      Pretty name by the way, it seems to me that the long distance really hurt the relationship. Out of sight out of mind. I am a firm believer that long distance relationships that work are very rare.

      You could contact him but you need to be subtle about it.

  4. Andreea

    June 25, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    Hello there, dear Admin

    It kind of feels awkward to tell the whole story but what you wrote here seemed helpful to me. My ex and I have been dating for 5 years now. Everything went well until I cheated on him two years ago with the guy that I’m currently being with (because it started to be a routine into our relationship). Ever since, the problems started to grow bigger like his trying to make me gealous with his ex or telling me that he got bored and stuff, we also started to break up and take breaks. I realised the mistake I made and it felt awful, ofc I didn’t try to cheat on him ever again and I tried to make things work for us as much as I could, but still there were moments when we argued and got bored. This year I had to move out of town to study, but the distance isn’t that big so I came to visit every weekend. Meanwhile he made new friends, who didn’t seem to enjoy my presence, so yeah they might be an important factor of our breakup. We started seeing eachother less and less, the only thing we did was to argue at the phone and I became not only gealous but possessive, and I kept telling him the way his friends talk about me is not ok, because I’m far and he deserves best. The day we should have had 5 years he broke up with me. I didn’t talk to him ever since,blocked him on every kind of social media,and only saw his fb profile from a friend and I saw he got into a new relationship dating a week before breaking up. It’s been about 4 months since then and they seem to do pretty fine. I tried to move on, got back to the guy I cheated on him, who seems to love me and treat me well but to whom I can’t return my feelings anymore. I still think of my ex and I dunno if we still have any chance since his friends came into the subject. To be honest I have reflected these 4 monts and I have nothing with his friends, I even admit being possessive and interdicting him several actions which seem wrong to me at this moment. I hope I will get a reply.

    Thank you in advance,

    1. admin


      June 26, 2013 at 3:57 am

      Of course you will get a reply Andrea!

      Do you still communicate with your ex?

      Honestly, part of the problem might be the fact that you are in a relationship now that you don’t want to be in. You can’t expect your ex to want you back if you are with a new guy can you?

      Here is the thing though, even if you do get out of the relationship with the “cheating guy” there is no guarantee that you will be able to get back together with your ex. But the biggest thing I am seeing is that you are in a relationship now that you don’t want to be in.

      Take some time and make sure you are at peace with yourself. Really work on YOU.

    2. Andreea

      June 26, 2013 at 4:34 am

      Nope, we’re not communicating at all ever since. I’ve been afraid to bug in like ‘hey, you know, I want to talk to you again even though you hurt me’ aside from his might thinking that I’ll try to ruin their relationship. As for my actual relationship you are right, I involved in it a month after we broke up because I felt lonely and I wanted him to see that I moved on, which I didn’. It may sound selfish, but I don’t want to lose this guy either if it turns out I have no other chances. But I can’t be with both of them, can I?

    3. admin


      June 27, 2013 at 12:32 am

      Usually people frown on being with two people at once hahaha.

      I guess what you really want to do is completely up to you. If you want to give it a go with your current bf go for it, if you want to break up with him and attempt to be with the old bf then go for it. If you want to wipe the slate complete and start anew then go for that. The world is your oyster.

      Oh hey, I feel it is important to mention that I just published a new case study. You can sign up for it and get a step by step account of what it takes to get your ex boyfriend back. You should be able to find the case study on this page and find the box to sign up for it.

    4. Andreea

      June 30, 2013 at 6:02 pm

      Thank you again for the advice, and I will sign up! 🙂

  5. vanessa

    June 25, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    Hi there. I broke up with my ex and i want him back Now hes talking to someone else and it hurts me. Its been 7 months and i begged already. He still pushes me away. Its been the 3rd time we break up and we went out for a year and 25 days. Im pretty young for being this heart broken and i cant help it. I havent seen him because its summer. But will this really work? ):

    1. admin


      June 25, 2013 at 5:25 pm

      Will this really work, well it is unknown if it will really work. I can’t guarantee that your ex will come back to you. However, this method WILL increase your chances.

  6. Brittany

    June 25, 2013 at 2:35 am

    Me and my boyfriend of 3 years went on a break 6 months ago and recently he got back with one of his ex’s that he dated for a month(which she’s obsessed with him and has been for years). He recently told my dad that he is only with her because I wasn’t around and we grew apart and that torn him apart. My ex texted me and apologizeed and told me he missed my family and “what not”. We’ve been talking on and off now even though he’s been dating this girl for about 2 months but he’s being very open with me when he talks to me. I want him back and I know he wants me back I just don’t know how to approach it. I wanted to ask if what he said about her being a rebound was true and if so why didn’t he try and talk to me. Hoping he will finally talk about getting back together. How should I approach it?

    1. admin


      June 25, 2013 at 3:44 am

      Hi Brittany,

      That is an interesting situation. He says he is in a relationship because he misses you, he’s just not in a relationship WITH YOU. Well, lets take words out of the equation here for a second. What do his actions say? Yes, he claims that he wants you back but do his actions say so?

      Since he won’t leave the girl for you, you could do one of two things.

      1. Do everything on this page:
      2. Slowly but surely work your way to an innocent hang out where you can both talk about your relationship and where you want it to go.

  7. broken heart

    June 24, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    Dear admin,

    Thank you very much for your kindness in putting effort in helping us with our broken heart. I hope you would take some of your precious time to help me with my situation. I am feeling very down:( . I broke up with my ex about half a year ago because I don’t feel that butterflies feeling when I was with him. He is a wonderful person and he deserves someone who loves him the same way. I always appreciate him and care for him and do love him. I just fear love so much that my guard is always up, that I can’t fall in love. I figure I have to let him go if I truly love him. We were very happy together. He loved me very much and was willing to go out of his ways to make me happy. After the break up, we still keep in contact and hang out. I did not feel heart broken at all the last six months. I guess it was because I know he still loves me and care for me a lot. That he is always by my side. He was even visited me at my apartment about a month and half ago. I find out his fb status about his new girl friend two weeks ago. I did not know it could hit me that hard. I called him and ask and confess how heart broken I am. He said he has not had sex with her yet. They were just starting dating. He cried and said why did we have to break up before, that he still loves me and the reason the he moved on because I am keep telling him too. And even though he wants to get to me now, he can’t just drop his new gf and hurt her feeling. I thought he cant break up because of his pity over her. But about a week ago we met again, and I asked him if he likes her, he says yes, he said she has some characteristics of me, that she is very caring and easy going. He tries to find me in her. He told me he wants to see how it works out and time can only tell if we ever back together. I got offended, how could he choose someone he like over the love of his life. Then I tried to analyse it, I might not be the love of his live any more, although he said he still loves me, his loves for me isn’t strong enough to have him choose me anymore. I cried too. I told him that I am dating someone who is a lot older than me so that he can forget me easier. He told me that it is my choice but don’t do it because of wanting him to forget me. He warns me to be careful and I told him that the guy loves me very much and would not hurt me. We spend two nights dining out before this last meeting. He displays all of this signs when he was with me I went home and texted him that I still love him, but if he choose her and really try to move on and forget me because my pride won’t allow me to take him back even if he wants to later on. I feel like that text closed all doors between him and me. Did I make a big mistake? My pride does feel that way though. He choose her over me who he claims to love. But I miss him so much and loves him so much. Is it too late now? Should I contact him and tell him that I am not dating this man anymore that I will take him back one day if his relationship doesn’t work out? and then start the 30 NC rule? I am usually very smart with my mind and control my emotion well. But I am so blind now dear. I don’t know what right to do and to say anymore. Does he have feeling for her too? I think I’m in love. Something that I thought I couldn’t never feel again. Unfortunately, the moment I get in touch with love again is the moment I lost it. Please help. Any advice would help. I don’t want to feel like a back up. It hurts my pride. But I don’t want to lose him.

    1. admin


      June 25, 2013 at 3:38 am

      Interesting situation indeed.

      First off, yes you did make a mistake by basically giving him an ultimatum saying if you choose her completely forget about me. Now, let me ask you if you were in his position and an ex texted you that would you be thrilled?

      I think yes, you should try the 30 day no contact rule. However, I think the thing that would really work for you are to send some texts out that make him look at you like you were his girlfriend again. Sometimes guys just say things to string girls along so they can have options.

      If you can send some of the texts here: to see how he responds you can get an idea if he really means what he says if he says “he still loves you.” The fact of the matter is, that this new girl might be threatened by you and cause some friction. Be very careful.

    2. broken heart

      June 25, 2013 at 2:21 pm

      Chris,thank you for the response. How do I try the 30 day NC rule and at the same time sending some text out that make him look at me like his girlfriend? So do I send the text now or after the 30 days or during the 30 days? Why does the new girl be threatened by me and what cause some friction mean? Be careful about what Chris? We met up yesterday and as I sat by him at the park. He hugs me and kiss my cheek saying that he feels sorry for himself and for me. That he has to lose someone who change the world of him (helping him see the world in a more positive light, becoming a more confident person….) I am sorry that I am so slow. But would you please be more specific? I am very confuse in what next to do! 🙁

    3. admin


      June 25, 2013 at 5:24 pm

      Send him the texts after the no contact period.

      I just meant that you have to be careful to not make the new girlfriend too angry.

      I wish I could give you more details but I am in a huge rush today.

    4. broken heart

      June 29, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      Chris, if he calls me of texts me something like this during the 30 days no cn, ” How are you doing? or How is everything for you?” DO I reply with a short message like ” I am doing fine thank you.” ? or do I just ignore the message? Would that be rude?

    5. admin


      June 30, 2013 at 9:49 pm

      Sorry for the late response, I took yesterday off.

      Let me see, I would say NOT to contact him. However, if you know him really well enough to know he will take offense to you not saying anything then it is probably a good idea to send a message like the one you gave an example of.

  8. Pearl

    June 24, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    Hey there, my situation is;

    My ex boyfriend and I broke up in 2010, we were together for almost 2 years. The next day I went on holiday with the girls. There I met a guy. I wasn’t interested in him however we got talking and then realised he was a cool guy so we exchanged numbers. When I got back my ex boyfriend wanted to get back with me and see if we can make it work. However I was in a pickle as there were two guys wanting to be with me. Me and my ex met up and it was emotional because we wanted to be together however I had this new guy on the scene. My heart was telling me get back with the ex and my head was telling me the new guy. So I chose the new guy and left the ex. It was a rebound thing. I always thought about my ex as i still loved him. The new guy and i lasted for almost 2 years. A month later I got in touch with my ex and we met up. We were talking about the past and it was lovely. I told him how i felt about him and that i still loved him. He told me he had a girlfriend but he said he still loved me. It did hurt. And then he got in touch and said we can’t talk as his girlfriend found it uncomfortable and I agreed because I respected it. And then he got in touch in a month and started making comment about him remincsing the times we had and complimenting how I looked. I must admit it felt good. I could tell he wants me but chose her. So i messaged him and said im flattered by the compliments however i dont appreciate you contacting me when you are in a relationship as its not fair on me or your girlfriend. Then he replied applogising. And then two months later he wished me a happy birthday and i replied with a simple thanks. I would love for us to get back together but I don’t know what to do. I hope you can advise me. Thank you.

    1. admin


      June 25, 2013 at 3:30 am


      (love the name by the way)

      I literally just wrote about this particular situation (getting an ex back after a year apart) Today. Read it here:

    2. Pearl

      June 26, 2013 at 2:17 pm

      Thank you.

      I have read the page you sent the link to great advice. However my ex boyfriend currently has a girlfriend. So I’m not quite sure what to do.

    3. admin


      June 27, 2013 at 12:42 am

      Go into No Contact. After 30 days gauge the situation and decide if you want to try contacting your ex.

      Sorry for short response but I am in a hurry today.

      I did put a case study up at the beginning of this page you might want to check it out.

  9. Tracey

    June 24, 2013 at 5:45 am

    I have already reached a month of NC on my part. Since I work with my ex, It is actually LC because he pretty much tries to talk to me every day. I continue to keep the convos short and always leave afterward. Since I’ve recently found out he’s seeing a new girl from out of town, ( a girl he met the same weekend of the week he hung it up with me) I’ve been acting like it doesn’t affect me whatsoever. I have confidence that its a rebound and found your article on rebound relationships to be reassuring as well. My question is, how long should I continue NC, and do I wait and let him contact me? Especially now that he is into a new “relationship”, I want to give him space. Should I just have faith that he will eventually contact me?

    1. admin


      June 25, 2013 at 3:12 am

      Hi Tracey,

      First off, congrats on making it through the full month of NC that is a feat in and of itself. By now, I think you have waited enough time to decide yourself if you should keep going with the NC or trying contacting him. My advice is to trust your gut. If your gut is telling you to wait more then do it, however, if you think it is time to contact him via a text message then do that.

  10. brenda

    June 23, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    Hi I had a question does dis work after my boyfriend of 7 years broke up wit me we have a son together out of nowhere he brakes up wit me says we argue a lot than not even two weeks I find out he has a new girlfriend which is his homeboys ex wife n also da girl two of his homeboys sleept with I’m so hurt n confused I love him a lot want him back but I don’t know wat to do can ya help me plz :'(

    1. admin


      June 23, 2013 at 11:06 pm

      Yes, this page is tailor made for individuals in your situation.

  11. Rebecca

    June 23, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half who is currently back home for the summer overseas. I was getting the feeling he didn’t care much about what I had to say, but it turns out that he was just stressed out because of work. I didn’t actually have the intention to end it, I just wanted a reaction because it felt like I wasn’t getting through to him. We didn’t talk for two days then I messaged him asking how he was and he blew up on me and was saying hurtful things. I’ve never seen that side to him. I apologized to him right after I broke up with him and when I messaged him two days later. I told him the truth that I didn’t want to break up, but he said he cant trust what im saying and we will have to talk about it when we return. He told me to move on and other mean things. I know I shouldn’t have broken up with him and it was very immature, but I still feel like it could have been easily overcame but he just took it to heart. We were very, very close- were best friends. We were talking about marriage and kids after college and he wanted to sty over here for me. I haven’t spoke to him in three weeks and neither of us have tried to contact one another. For his bday another girl wrote something like “happy birthday handsome” it made me upset but i thought nothing of it. A couple of days ago he asked me if i left him for another guy and i said no, did you not want to get back with me cause you were talking to another girl and he said no i was working all sumer to pay for things when we get back, remember? and all i said back was “yeah” he then continued to inform me on how he got in a fight and his jaw hurts etc. we talked for a little and then that was it. this morning he tweeted the same girl who wrote happy bday on his wall and it seems to me like they are now talking. she lives back at school and im worried he has moved on already and when he goes back to school he will be with her for a month before i even get back so feelings might develop with them. I really want him back but i dont want to seem desperate. Do you think there is a chance for reconciliation when we both return to school in 6 weeks? I’m very confused because why would he try talking to me if hes talking to this girl? I’d really appreciate any advice. thank you

    1. admin


      June 23, 2013 at 11:17 pm

      Hi Rebecca,

      First off, immediately after a breakup emotions are through the roof on both sides. Those hurtful things he said, I don’t think he means them to you deep in his heart. Don’t get me wrong. He is probably extremely mad and curses your name but that isn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. It means he has feelings for you and wishes he hadn’t been hurt.

      Definitely try out the no contact period. Just wait one month before you try texting him again. I know it seems really hard but what else can you do? If you come begging back I highly doubt he will come back. However, if you wait some time and let the emotions settle down things can slowly turn in your favor.

      As for the new girl, IF (and that is a big IF) he starts dating her it won’t be the end of the world. It is a rebound and rebounds don’t last forever. The real question for you is whether or not you think you want him back. Take out a piece of paper and list all his negative qualities and then do the same for his positive qualities. Try to look at your situation from a logical viewpoint.

  12. Abigail

    June 23, 2013 at 2:50 am

    I told my boyfriend I wanted a break about a year and three months ago after we had dated for a year and a half because he kept talking about marriage and I was just overwhelmed. He misunderstood and thought I meant a forever break up and our relationship was sabotaged by this horrible guy who later abused me. He started dating this girl who is unattractive and has very few redeeming qualities and they have been dating for a year but I love him so much and I just want him back. I don’t understand how he can be happier with this rebound girl than with me and I don’t think he even wants to talk to me. I don’t know what else I can do to get him back and I just want to explain to him the circumstances that surrounded our breakup because he thinks I cheated on him and didn’t love him anymore. I know he loved me, and my family still talks about him all the time and I just haven’t been happy since him. Do you have any advice on what I can do?

    1. admin


      June 23, 2013 at 2:58 am

      Hi Abigail,

      Thanks for commenting. Of course, I have advice for you!

      I have to say it is rare for a girl to feel overwhelmed about marriage. I usually hear about this from guys. Sounds a lot like you had some communication issues with your ex. He misunderstood about the initial “break” and thought it meant forever. Though I will say, rejection of any kind is really hard for men. We like to feel wanted and admired and when a girl wants a break we automatically assume that, that means she doesn’t want us anymore.

      How long has it been since you last spoken to him? Does he know that you DIDN’T cheat on him?

  13. Melanie

    June 22, 2013 at 7:26 am

    Thank you so much for your site, it’s definitely very detailed and helpful.
    Im worried about the no contact rule because I feel like my exs feeling would fade by that time.
    We broke up for 3 weeks now and just a few days after we broke up… he has been posting many flirty things on this girl’s fb wall ( he should be fully aware that I could see it since we are mutual friends).
    And it’s so hurtful because it’s so inconsiderate….and now it seems like they are having a thing now. How can he move on that quickly? He said he truly cared about me….if he did..why would he post that stuff when he knows I could see it. He sent me pics of his workout result or him at a party. Like wow…it’s as if our relationship meant nothing?

    When we were dating, ppl told me that they have never seen him so happy and he told me that I made him one of the happiest guys.
    I just don’t understand.

    Im worried about the one month no contact….because I feel like his feelings are quick. Like the first time he asked me out was two weeks when we just met…and that’s why I feel like his feelings can be quick because he does tend to put ‘all his chips into on bucket’….that is why he wanted to break up with me because I do admit, I took him for granted a bit because he loved me much more than I did, however, my feelings gradually developed for him. He told me he loved me in a month and it took me 3 months to say it.

    So I don’t know if no contact would help…because I feel like his feelings would be gone by then

    1. admin


      June 23, 2013 at 2:41 am

      Well, there are risks of doing the no contact rule AND there are risks of not doing it.

      Risks Of It- him losing interested, etc, etc

      Risks Of Not Doing It- Being viewed as needy or obssesive. Basically, everything that men DONT want from a woman.

      So, I suppose you have to find a good balance. Maybe for you, you could limit the no contact to only 15 days? I usually don’t recommend that but if you honestly feel your boyfriend will lose feelings that quickly you can do a miniture NC rule to see what results you get.

  14. lily

    June 22, 2013 at 2:30 am

    okay so pretty much we had a small breakup and we got back together but he confessed during the breakup (2days)he developed feelings for another girl. he tried, i tried we argued back and forth on whether to stay together or not. We knew it would end, and eventually a few days later we broke up and he start talking to the other chick. I want to know if during the arguing and stuff, trying to make it work if thats what pushed him away. we were inseparable and in love before this girl entered the picture

    1. lily

      June 22, 2013 at 2:40 am

      also him and this girl “hooked up” the first night. could it be infatuation?

    2. admin


      June 22, 2013 at 4:34 am

      Usually with breakups like this a lot of different factors choose a guy to leave. The new girl, the arguing, a certain way you were acting, a certain way he was feeling. I think everything contributed. He could be infatuated with the girl. If you want him back I can give you some advice but the key thing I want to stress is that you really have to believe your relationship is worth getting back for anything to work. Check out this page I think it could be helpful:

    3. lily

      June 22, 2013 at 6:38 pm

      thank you. ive read it and we were happy most of the time with a little fight once a month. we were always together doing something fun, going out to eat, with family but we were happy. it seemed that when we tried to get back after the little break up, he would change after he would hang out with his friends. could they also be the reason maybe they want him single again? im looking at it from different views. maybe during that break up he missed all the attention from different girls. im just really confused and i dont know what to do.hes a really sweet guy what i dont want is for the girl to start liking him to, but i guess theres nothing i can do about that one

    4. admin


      June 23, 2013 at 2:36 am

      I always say to not worry about factors that you can’t control. Just focus on the thing that you can control!

  15. admin


    June 21, 2013 at 4:13 am


    Looks like you guys didn’t have a healthy relationship. He cheated on you, you cheated on him. In all, that is really bad for the relationship.

    He has a new girl pregnant and I don’t think it would be best for you to try to get him back. I think you should just aim for getting along and being kind to eachother. Of course, I did write two articles on cheating if you are interested:

  16. danielle

    June 21, 2013 at 4:06 am

    IT has been 2 years since me and my ex broke up. WE have a baby girl and we were gong out for almost 4 years. I heard he was cheating on me and i cheated on him a few times for it… At the end he wast telling me he was gone out to walk the dog, but he was meeting up with her. SO one night he wasnt home when i got off work, n i found out he was at her house. I was so upset. I paniced and invited a guy over knowing my bf might come home. I CHeated and when my ex came home at 3 in the morning finding a guy in our bed he freaked. BUt anyways he ended up moving in with the girl as soon as he left that night and getting her pregnant a month later. WE havent spoke in months but everytime before when we would try to speak we would end up freaking out at each other. HE has her pregnant again now and im still not over him for some reason. I went into a new relation a month after we broke up and have another baby, but i still always think about my ex. WE are talking now but im so hurt. I pretend not to care but it is hard. IS there something i can do to bring us together or there is too much past…

  17. candice

    June 20, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me last year may and we hooked up until the beginning of this year when I started dating some guy. I’m still madly in love with him even though I dated a guy. I really wanted to move on with my life and forget about him but I couldn’t stop thinking of him and texting him. I ended things with the other guy, hoping I could get my ex back just to find out he is dating some girl.

    I know he still has feelings for me, I talk to him like twice a week and i met him for drinks last week but nothing came from it.

    I don’t know what to do anymore, I really love him

    1. admin


      June 21, 2013 at 4:10 am

      Cut off communication for 30 days it will help you re-take the situation.

      Basically read this page from top to bottom it will really help you:

  18. prajakta

    June 20, 2013 at 11:39 am

    hey me and my bf was having relationshp for 3 months den after dat he said me dat ma mom came to know about our relation and she wants me too quit u . and we broke up i was very sad because of this but he was like he dint cared and said me to be his friend .
    we started to talk as friends by texting eachother but den i started getting more feeling about hi, n i begged him to be in relation wid me
    an he tld k den v’ll be in a relation but am nt sure dat am gonna marry u
    and den our reation shp again started
    bt den we wer chating and he was telling abt how he enjoyed in his frnd bdae party n who al came wid him and dat frnd was a girl
    dat girl was having many girls frnd wid her dat day on party
    and he meet one girl of dat and
    he started to talk to her
    and proposed her
    and her answer was yes
    he tld me dis
    and i dint utter a word
    den the next day i texted him but there was no reply from his side
    stil now he has nt gave me rply
    i want him back cause i luv him alot

    1. admin


      June 21, 2013 at 4:08 am


      Honestly, since he is engaged to this girl I think it is time for you to move on. I know that is not easy to hear but you weren’t meant to be with this guy.

      You deserve better!

  19. Caitlyn

    June 20, 2013 at 1:32 am

    My ex and I dated for 6 1/2 months I broke up with him because this girl tried getting in the way and wouldn’t stop touching him or texting him so I told him that I didn’t like her and didn’t want him around her and told him not to text/talk to her and he said she’s my friend im going to talk to her and I told him you have only known her for a month you are not her friend. I broke up with him because of that and then she asked him to prom and he said yes during this time we were still talking and talking about getting back together around what would have been our 8 1/2 months we still said happy anniversary and I love you and talked every night but then this girl who he went to prom with hooked him up with another girl and one day him and I were at school holding hands and kissing and then the next day he said I think we should try to see other people and if it doesn’t work we will get back together so I said ok and he asked her out 2 weeks after that. It has been a month that they have been dating and I am still completely in love with him still I text him all the time but he never replies and he has now blocked me from facebook. I know that he said we would give it another try but how am I going to wait until they break up? He is my everything and I feel like im dying without him I have wanted to kill myself because of this I love him to death, and it feels like no matter what I say he doesn’t care but one day I told him that I wanted to kill myself and he said you better fucking not and I said why you don’t care and he said yes I do. If he cares why wont he text me back and break up with this girl and unblock me? Does he really care? How do I get him back? I just want him in my life again.

    1. admin


      June 20, 2013 at 5:16 am

      First off, No guy is worth your life EVER.

      Secondly, I think your biggest problem right now is your actual behavior. There is nothing more unattractive than a girl begging you to be with her especially if you are broken up. Now, I am not saying that to hurt your feelings I am doing this to help you.

      I think you would really benefit from implementing the no contact rule to let things die down a little bit. Here is a link so you can read up about it:

      Now, I noticed while reading your comment that you also had some pretty bad reasons for wanting to get him back. For my advice to work for you, you are going to have to do some soul searching and come up with a legitimate reason for wanting to get back together. I am willing to help you but only if you can come up with a legitimate reason. Here is a page I wrote about that:

      So, my immediate advice to you is to stop contacting him because by doing so you could be killing any shot you have of getting him back. Don’t be the girl that he can get easily, guys aren’t attracted to that. Be the “unattainable girl” guys always want what they can’t have.

  20. Haylee Wolfe

    June 19, 2013 at 4:20 am

    Thank you so much I will do all this and I hope it works

    1. admin


      June 20, 2013 at 5:17 am

      Your welcome Haylee!

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