It can really hurt when an ex boyfriend (who you still have feelings for) has moved on to another girl. Many women lose all hope of getting their ex back when they learn their boyfriend has taken up with a new girlfriend. Others will get angry and immediately look to start a fight, lashing out out their ex.  Rarely will you ever come across one that does the smart thing, stacking the odds in her favor!

So how do you win back an ex who is with someone else?  Well, my short, expert answer is:

To maximize your chances of success of getting your ex boyfriend back if he already has a girlfriend you should recognize the focus must be on you creating value in yourself and and finding ways to make your ex see how you are becoming what  I call, the Ungettable Girl.

Learning how to get your ex back even if he has a new girlfriend is not going to entirely rest entirely on making him jealous.  Nor is it going to depend on you sabotaging their relationship (that tactic rarely works and usually backfires).  It’s going to take a full commitment to rising above the hateful feelings that might be bubbling up.  I know the feeling of rejection cannot feel worse under these circumstances.

But if you are trying to get back an ex boyfriend who has moved on and now hates you more because of the ugliness that ensued upon you learning he is now with someone else, you need to implement a strategic plan

So don’t dig a deeper hole for yourself.

By the way, if you haven’t already read my epic article on how to get your ex boyfriend back I suggest you drop everything for the next 30 minutes (yes 30 minutes) and go read it!

7  New Signs That Your Ex Has Moved On and Now Is With Someone Else?

Is it possible you can spot when your boyfriend is slipping away?  In the back of your mind, you may already suspect your boyfriend is with someone else.  And clearly there are telltale signs you can spot that will point to him slipping out of your life.  But what if he is already your ex, but it hasn’t been that long since the breakup.

Perhaps part of you is still hoping for  a reconciliation.  You may be thinking this falling out you have had with your ex boyfriend won’t last long. You may think that it has happened in the past, so certainly the two of you will find a way to work it out.

That is what many girls think when a breakup occurs.  There is often a certain degree of disbelieve, a suspension of acceptance to the new relationship situation.  You may never think that your ex would have a new girlfriend after a month or even sooner.  But it happens.

So what signs are there that speak to whether ” does he still like me or has he moved on to a new girlfriend”?

After all, that is what you will come to fear as days go by without hearing from your ex.  You will wonder “how could my ex move on so quickly”.  You may think to yourself, “my ex has moved on but I haven’t and it hurts.”

There are 7 signs that point to your ex boyfriend moving on from you emotionally and finding another girl.  Whether she stole his heart or he was already involved with her before the breakup is something we will take up later.  But for now, what are the signs your ex is falling for another girl or is already involved with a new girlfriend since you guys busted up.

1. You are hearing rumors of sightings of your ex boyfriend with another girl.

2. When you check your ex boyfriend’s social media pages (Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram), you are seeing pictures and stories that leave you out, but consistently includes a new face of a new girl.

3. Your ex, who use to still text you even after the break up, has gone silent and is not responsive to your texts.

4. In an effort not to hurt you further, your ex boyfriend tells you that he went out on double date or was hanging out with another girl, but it’s not serious.  Truth be told, your ex likely wouldn’t go out of his way to tell you this unless something more was going on.  Guilt is playing on his mind.

5. Your ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend posts pics on Facebook or Snapchat of her and your ex together.

6. He tells you that he needs some space and is through with girls, yet you know from your experience he loves women and is always in their company.

7. Your ex boyfriend blocks you from seeing his social media pages, cutting all other ties with you immediately after your questioning of whether he is dating someone else.  In effect, he is doing a sloppy job of trying to cover his tracks.

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10 Signs That Your Boyfriend Has NOT Moved On or Given Up On You

Sometimes, after a breakup, you will come to fear that your ex will move on and replace you with some other girl he knows or has talked about.  This fear can be paralyzing and occupy hours of your day as your obsess over whether your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend or how to deal with this if it should happen.

You may dream of fantasy scenarios where you discover your ex now has a new girl in his life, but since you want him back quickly, you will pull off some dramatic sequence of events that will miraculously bring your him back to you.    If you are afflicted with such thoughts, what you probably need to do is take a deep breath and remind yourself you can’t know everything and nor can you control all his decisions.

But there are some signs that reveal your ex has NOT moved on.  They include:

1. There is no evidence or rumors or whispers that your ex boyfriend has been seen with anyone else

2. You and your ex have only been broken up for a few days and communications are not completely cut off.

3. Your ex boyfriend still initiates contact, checking up on you.

4. When reviewing your ex boyfriend’s Facebook page, Shapchat or Instagram stories, there is no signs of another female in his life.

5. You know his former girlfriend and there is no new stirrings on her social media accounts or whispers that she wants back with her ex.

6. The breakup between you and your ex was relatively civil and did not involve harsh accusations or threats.

7. It has only been a few days or weeks since the two of you split up without any obvious evidence pointing to a new gal on the horizon.

8. There were no previous signs of your ex boyfriend cheating on you while the relationship was ongoing.

9. There is no history of your ex being unfaithful to you or with any of his other girlfriends of the past.

10. You are hearing and have come to believe that this breakup has been hard on your ex boyfriend.

Remember The Most Important Thing Is To Have a Strategy

Before you do anything rash in trying to help your ex boyfriend realize that his new girlfriend is NOT as good as you, it’s important that you understand the role the No Contact Rule plays in this whole process. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into this principle. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.

If you don’t have the patience to read that entire page, let me sum up some of the most important points for you.

No Contact Does Not Mean You Are Giving Up On Your Ex Just Because He Has Found a New Lady Friend!

What it means is that you are going to be smart and fist focus on your own recovery, while at the same time increase your own value as he perceives you.  So how does this principle work?

  • No contact means no communications what so ever for 30 days (1 full month.)
  • It means no texting, calling, emailing, letters, Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram messaging to him or stalking or Googling.
  • During your 30 day freeze out, make sure you improve yourself both mentally and physically, bettering your game in multiple areas of your life.

You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has fallen for a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing.  You are going to want to contact your ex very badly and you probably are not going to have many good things to say.  So don’t go there.  It only hurts you inside and hurts your chances.

Now before we get into what your game plan should consist of, let’s preview 5 common queries you may have:

1. How on earth did you ex boyfriend end up with a new girlfriend?

2. How is it that he seemingly replaced you with a new woman?

3. In what way did you fail him that he could so easily start up a new thing with this girl?

4. Why did your ex boyfriend so quickly start up a new relationship?

5. Is It normal for an ex to have a new girlfriend only after a few days?

5 New Case Study Situations That Explain How and Why Your Ex Got His New Girlfriend.  Is He Worth It? Should You Get Him Back?

New Girlfriend

Sometimes, trying to keep the hope alive that you can get your ex boyfriend back is unfair to you.  Certain relationship situations can evolve to a place where working to get him back could be a big mistake, maybe bigger than getting involved with him in the first place.

So when we have situations where an breakup has happened and an ex boyfriend discards you for another girlfriend both swiftly and with an air of arrogance and insensitivity, you need to think long and hard before going after a guy that may very well only hurt you very deeply again.

Believe it or not, how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline five situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that would be worthwhile to pursue and three of the situations are going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back. Let’s begin.

Situation 1 – You Initiate The Break Up and He Finds A New Girlfriend

You broke up with your boyfriend, then realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. The breakup was clean and you handled it well and he took it well, except he was clearly damaged by your decision.  If you are in this situation, then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex back of you genuinely feel the problems you both experienced can be overcome.  The relationship he is in now could be a rebound or it could flame out.  It is also possible he is playing the jealousy card.

Situation 2 – He Leaves You and Steps Into a Rebound Relationship

He broke up with you and perhaps thinking that the grass is greener, decided to try out the field.  Eventually he settles in with a new woman and already you can see his over the top expectations with his new found “love”  could lead to problems.  Again, this is a really common situation and you may discover his new found lover is far from the right match. So it would be worth going forward with your action plan.

Situation 3- He Cheated On You During the Relationship and Lied

He left you for another girl. That hurts a lot.  But then you learn later that he has been cheating on you the entire time the two of you were together.  Then he says he wants to still sleep with you, though he is still with this other woman.  Really?  Was he ever in love with you?  Were you his rebound for this other girlfriend in his life?  Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here.  This guy is not someone that you should want to get back with.

Situation 4:  Your Ex Boyfriend Is Dating Your Sister

The two of you fought a lot. You were never convinced if you could trust him.  The relationship did not last very long.  You both went your on ways, pretty disgusted with each other, though the sex was great.  In fact, it was so good, you both ended up together in bed shortly after the breakup.  But now you have learned your ex boyfriend is dating your sister.  In this case, my advice is hands off.  This guy is already demonstrated he is trouble and unreliable.  Despite the awesome sex, you are far better off taking your awesome self on another path and find another guy.

Situation 5: Your Ex Cheated On You With Your Best Friend

So you find yourself in a situation where you can’ t decide who you should be more angry and disgusted with.  Your ex or your best friend.  And while you still have feelings for your ex boyfriend, you can’t get the images of the two of them out of your mind.  Neither of them realize that you are on to them.  It’s decision time.  What do you do?  In this case, it is a sort of no win situation as everybody is losing something.  So you confront them both.  They both lie.  Then you provide proof and everything collapses from there.  Now everyone is on their on, with plenty of confused, hurt, and hard feelings to go around.  My advise to you is to keep it that way.  Your ex bf crossed a big line.  And so did your best friend.  So I recommend you just utilize an extended no contact period and allow for the chips to fall where they may, but keeping the focus on your own self recovery.

5 Wicked Truths To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back When A New Girlfriend Is In the Picture


This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Let’s explore!

Truth 1: Don’t Communicate With Your Ex and His New Girlfriend – Leave Them Alone

Not contacting your ex and is new girl is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong. Getting mad, breaking down and texting your ex a hateful message about his new girlfriend isn’t going to help your ultimate goal is it? Instead, be cool and don’t worry, every dog has it’s day.

Truth 2: Allow Time For Your Ex Boyfriend’s New Relationship to Falter

It’s not always easy dating someone new. Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is not as comfortable in his new relationship as you may have thought. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step…

Truth 3: If It’s a Rebound Relationship It Will Blow Up On Its On

Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. Lucky for you, rebound relationships don’t last forever. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships are bound to fail. So, the odds are in your favor.  Just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. Don’t add fuel to their relationship.  Remember, if you freak out you are going to make a lot of mistakes and mistakes aren’t going to help get you two back together.

Truth 4: Your Ex Boyfriend Will Grow To Miss You As Time Goes By

It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets, the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things (like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup) he will remember all the good things, particularly when he is constantly forced to compare you against the realities of his new girlfriend.  His notion that she would be so great for him, may likely not pan out, thereby increasing your value. This can definitely work in your favor.

Truth 5: You Can Be Strategic During The No Contact Period To Enhance Your Value

This is probably the most important truth and ex recovery strategy of them all.  You should not be sitting idly by.  You are going to be using this time to heal and striving to become the best version of YOU.  And you are going to see to it that you ex boyfriend notices all these wonderful changes.  So too will his new girlfriend.  So how do you win back your ex who is shacking up with another girl, someone of his supposed dreams?  You make sure that you portray the view of somebody who is happy, beautiful, ungettable, sexy, and AVAILABLE.  So you are going to employ some little jealousy traps and many other value building activities and tactics.

New Ways To Cope If Your Ex Left You For Another Woman


It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else. I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Remember, just because he is dating someone new doesn’t mean your chances are gone completely. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you.

5 Frequently Asked Questions and What You Should Know and How To Cope

Here is a rundown on the kind of thoughts and questions many women have when dealing with an ex who has found him someone else. Here is what you may be thinking and why its OK.

1. He left me for someone else and I am wondering if it will last?

Just know that these kinds of relationships with a new lady often have a short fuse. Don’t panic.  Give it at least 3 months before you draw any meaningful conclusions.  But don’t wait on him.  Get busy with life.

2. My ex boyfriend left me for someone else he loves more.  Will he ever come back to me?

You really can’t be sure if this new girlfriend in his world loves him or if he loves her.  Appearances, particularly after a breakup, can be misleading.  So give time a chance to unwind the truth of their relationship. Your ex certainly won’t come back if you approach the situation with desperation or begging.  What you want to do is have a plan to get yourself noticed by him in a positive way.

3. What do you do if your ex leaves you for another and then he still wants to be friends with you?

You need to be careful here that you don’t get involved in a friends with benefits situation.  He left you for a reason.  Maybe it’s not  a good reason. Maybe he is not the right man for you.  Perhaps you still want him back.  I would caution you about remaining a real good friend if you want him again, because it will send him conflicting signals that he might still be able to be with you and have casual sex.  Its better to employ a strategy of No Contact and explore that angle first, before you opt to be just a friend.

4. My ex boyfriend dropped me and is now dating my co-worker.

Your game plan should not change. Certainly, things might be somewhat more awkward, but there could be some positives you can take from this situation.  If your co-worker who is now dating your ex comes into work one day with tears, then maybe something good/bad is happening.  Also, there may be times when you see them together at the work setting (before or after work).  You can use this opportunity to make a classy appearance, showcasing your wonderful, happy looking self.

5. My ex left me for someone else and now wants me back as he says we deserve another chance.

That seems awful convenient for him. So how do you deal with being dumped for someone else, then he comes crawling back?  Should you just take him back in, forgiving your ex for his foolishness?  Of course, exactly what you do depends on your history and other circumstances, but I would caution you to move slowly.  If you have not had adequate time to deal with the pain and hurt of what he did to you, tell him you need time.  If he can’t accept that, then he is not worth pursuing.  And if you choose to restart the relationship, do so like you are dating for the first time.  Do it in small steps.  No sex on the first or second dates.  He needs to demonstrate he regrets his decision.

5 Ways To Heal After Learning Your Ex Is Involved With Somebody Else

1. Keep The Focus On You

Try your best not to obsess over his situation and this new girl. You can’t control what he does but you can control what your own actions. Go out and have fun. Make new friends. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself.

2. It’s Not Your Fault He Chased After This New Girlfriend

Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did wrong or something that they could not provide. Dating isn’t always black and white like that. Whatever happens, make sure you don’t let an ex boyfriends actions affect how you feel about yourself.

3. Accept That There Will Be Pain

You are not a robot. You can’t just turn off your feelings. It’s OK to feel pain over the situation, but once that pain starts creeping into your everyday life and effecting how you live then you have problems.

4. Beware Of The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome

This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page. Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back, just because someone else has them. They may be disgusted by his actions and may not even want him any longer, but can’t stand the thought of another woman with him at this time. If you find that you are in this situation, be very careful about proceeding to get him back or ruining his efforts. You may need to go back and do some serious soul searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.

5. Resist Any Comparisons

It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new (hopefully temporary) girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all.  Just know that you have your own special qualities that no one can duplicate.

3 Clever Actions You Can Take To Help Your Ex Recovery Cause

actions to take

So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze. Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control.

I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use! However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

(Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.)

1. Watch For Trouble Signs

No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Each one has it’s ups and downs. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you.

2. Initiate Contact Via Text Message

At the right time, test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.

3. Be Very Nice To Him And His New Girlfriend

If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response, be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting, but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it.  Remember, you are becoming the Ungettable girl. You don’t need to trash her or him because he blew by letting you go and she is probably way out of his league.

3,721 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. Confused

    September 17, 2018 at 11:42 pm

    I was in a LDR,I found out my boyfriend has a live in partner but he said he will fix things I just need to be patient. That I’m the one he chose. But one day his gf found out about us and the girl deleted his social media account (that’s where we mostly text each other) the girl knows his password. After that day I haven’t heard from the guy. Not even an explanation or closure. Although he still has his main account and hasn’t blocked me yet, I left him messages but he ignores them. Doesn’t even read them at all. He has two accounts btw. The girl just deleted the one where he can communicate with me. She doesn’t know about it till she opened his email. But the guy added me already before on his main account. Although it hurts me because they have pictures there together the guy always tells me I have nothing to worry about because the pictures are from years ago. He no longer updates it. I thought he really chose me but what happened? He wasn’t even talking to me. Last I heard the girl kicked him out of their house. What should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 19, 2018 at 12:24 am

      Hi Confused!

      Interesting name. But lets change it to “Empowered”, because that is where you should strive to be. Go to my home page and tap into the articles and tools and books there as they can help you figure out how to deal with your ex.

  2. Helen

    September 4, 2018 at 6:40 pm

    Me (28) and my ex (27) we met at work. We are of different nationalities. I liked him a bit but at that time he had a girlfriend, so I didn’t do anything not even flirt. After six months at a party we slept together. Then I went on holidays. He kept texting every day. When I got back we met again and he broke up with his ex to be with me. (His ex was his first girl ever and the only girl that he ever did anything with). Everything was fine but 3 months later he said that he thinks of maybe trying again with his ex because he thought he didn’t try enough. So He talks with his ex they agree to give it another try and we break up. He kept texting me all this time again saying he misses me and he has doubts about what his choice. After a week his ex tells him that she is dating a new person and she doesn’t want to try again. I called him trying to support him while he was devastated because I could understand his pain. I said ok but you know how I feel about you so please let me know where we stand. He said he had feelings for me of course but he doesn’t know anymore with everything that happened and that we would have to meet in person to see how he feels. We met 2 times and he said yeah let’s give it a try of course I have feelings for you. We started dating again properly and everything was fine. Of course he was telling me from time to time that he has these emotional drawbacks but the last very little and that they are getting better. All this time the only thing I wanted was from him to tell me that he is in love with me. He didn’t. He was very future oriented (He is Dutch after all) and coming from a small village, he was thinking about how I would fit with his friends that don’t speak english, that we are from very different backgrounds and that can be good and bad. 2 months ago we broke up because he said that he feels that he missed the boat or the timing is bad. He said he has still feelings for me,that I am the funniest girl he ever met, he has never felt so connected with anyone and that we like the same things (expect the fact that I don’t do a lot of sports and I smoke), but he doesn’t know what else is out there because he has only seen two extremes (his ex and me, as we are culturarly different). So we break up. We talk from time to time on the phone or on whatsapp (this time I mostly began the contact). I asked him if it was completely done between us for him ( two separate times) and he said no. One month ago I ask him to meet. He was thinking about it for two weeks and then he agreed. He told me also that he went on a first date with a girl. Well, we met hanged out for 6 hours having fun. The last two hours we started talking about us. He told me that he has told me that he loved me once but he did when I was asleep. He told me he still has feelings for me but that this has gone on too long we tried but it didn;t work and that he would not try again for a long time. I told him that he blamed our relationship for ending his last and he agreed. I told him that I want to try again with a clean slate, a new beginning erasing all the previous feelings and start over and see how it works. He said we don’t have a clean slate yet and it would take some time. I told him I loved him and I will wait for him, He said he doesn’t feel the same but we cannot change that at this moment. I said I hope we try again promise me at least you ll think about it. He said I will for now give it time. The next day he would go on a second date with this girl. I tried to contact him a few times after that ( 5 messages in total in a span of 3 weeks), but he didn’t reply anymore. On the 5th message I just asked him to explain what’s happening, if he hates me or something just give me a reason for all this ignorance. He replied saying is not a good idea to talk anymore, it was already too much for him spending an evening with me, and that the girl that he is dating wasn’t pleased with us meeting so he agreed not to talk to me anymore for a while so I can move on and that he does not want to break his promise. I told him I don’t want you to break any promise, I just hope she ll make you as happy as I would and that you won’t regret treating me like this. Be happy but happy not just comfortable you deserve much more than that always remember that. That was it. 5 days later he blocked me on whatsapp and deleted me form fb. Can anyone understand this? because I sure cannot. What did I do to him and he acts this way. Can I still get him back ? ( now is been a month that he has blocked me)

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 4, 2018 at 9:10 pm

      Hi Helen!

      It can be hard to make sense of a lot of breakup actions by our exes. What you want is an ex recovery plan. Go visit my home page and check out the tools and resources available to you there to learn more about my program.

  3. qs

    August 27, 2018 at 5:44 pm

    Hi there, so I’ve been involved with my co-worker. Since the beginning, I’ve been a third party then he ended things with his girlfriend. Then he said that we were just fuck buddies. Then he said that he wants to date other people cos we’re not exclusive. Now, he’s going out a lot with this one girl and he’s ignoring my messages. I see him everyday at work and we barely speak now. How do I intiate the no contact rule when I have to speak to him because of work?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 28, 2018 at 9:56 pm

      Hi QS!

      That was a rather rude and crude thing for him to say in characterizing the relationship. He seems to want everything his way. Limit your contact with him at work seems like a reasonable approach. Then NC the rest of the time. And use this time during NC to heal and work on doing things for “you”. When you find more emotional balance, Ask yourself later, if this guy is worth investing more time in.

  4. Sam

    August 27, 2018 at 1:50 pm

    My ex an I broke up a month ago and I’ve been doing no contact. However I found out from a friend that he’s doing fine and said he doesn’t regret breaking up as he knew we weren’t meant to be and that he met a new girl (he’s out of the country for the next month) and so they are planning to catch up when he’s back. I really want him back but I don’t know how I can salvage it when he’s desiring this new person 🙁 we never fought and we worked so well together. He’s stubborn and doesn’t think we are suppose to be and I don’t know how to flip that

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 27, 2018 at 3:32 pm

      Hi Sam!

      I hear this a lot. The guy thinks everything is find and has met someone else. But sometimes, appearances can be deceiving and the other girl is a rebound. So we will see in time what happens here. I think using no contact is the right move and doing it in the way I teach in my program will help you the most!

  5. Vanessa

    August 22, 2018 at 11:31 am

    I’m depressed and hopeless, my ex boyfriend and I split out on April, we had a lot of fighting and he hold a negative perception about me. We speak in June after absolute silent treatment from him and he said he need more space to figure out but he left the door open so bring me hope and I put in a waiting mood until August that was the time he said. When August comes he replied very late to my email and I went to face him only to hear he don’t want a relationship with me anymore, that there isn’t hope or nothing I can do for that, and he started to see a new girl two weeks ago that is easy and cold like him with makes him enjoy her company a lot. I made all the mistakes like getting mad, begging, etc. For now he said he keep the offer of only friendship to me but he don’t want to I wait for him. It seems hopeless. I’m hurt as hell. How I can do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 25, 2018 at 12:12 am

      Hi Vanessa….best to focus on yourself and your healing and becoming the best version of yourself. You can do that while in No Contact. I write about this extensively in this site and in my books.

  6. herlyma

    August 6, 2018 at 3:18 pm

    cheated on my ex, made him feel terrible out of anger and now he has gone n he has feelings for another girl. its just 2 weeks now. how do i get him back. cos i have been apologizing and also sent people to beg him too

  7. hayley

    August 5, 2018 at 1:33 am

    Me and my ex had moved into our second house together we had been together 2 years and have a dog together. One night we went to bed besides each other as normal. He got up that morning for work and kissed me goodbye and said he loved me as normal. He then returned from work got all his things and left me. I was completely heart broken never felt pain like it! It’s been just over a month and he has a new girlfriend. He has blocked me off everything social media platform as well as blocking my number. I haven’t heard a single thing from him. I haven’t had any explanation of why he got up and left and I just want him home. Is it a good idea to fight for him or to just leave him be.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 1:58 am

      Hi Halley!

      I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru. I think for the next few weeks, you focus on your own healing. Could it be a rebound, possibly. But you need to focus on your own recovery. Look on my site for examples of things you can do to recover. Later you can assess what you want.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 1:58 am

      Hi Halley!

      I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru. I think for the next few weeks, you focus on your own healing. Could it be a rebound, possibly. But you need to focus on your own recovery. Look on my site for examples of things you can do to recover. Later you can assess what you want.

  8. Gursimran

    August 1, 2018 at 4:04 pm

    Me and my ex were together for 18 months and he got into a new relationship right after breaking up with me. We decided to stay as friends and we do still talk. Sometimes he randomly starts to flirt with me even though he has a girlfriend. I have asked him about her but he denies the fact that he is dating someone. He also made her delete the pictures of them together from her social media and is trying to keep the new relationship on the low. But whenever I mention a new guy to him he gets jealous and starts asking if I’m dating or like that person. I still have a lot of feelings for him and we’ve only been broken up for a month and a half and seeing him with someone else already really hurts. They’re always at each other’s house and just spending time together all the time. It hurts to see that because me and him were in a long distance relationship (about 3 hours away). I just want to know if he has really moved on or will he ever come back because he seems pretty happy with his new life.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 2, 2018 at 3:23 am

      Hi G!

      Hard to know if he has moved on or if this is a rebound. 18 months gives you both some traction and so he may discover that he underappreicated you and you can help him realize that through your ex recovery plan. I have a lot resources like eBooks and other things you can find my site’s home page and encourage to go check it out so you have solid plan going forward.

  9. Destiny

    July 28, 2018 at 7:40 am

    My ex and I dated four years ago. I broke up with him because of personal issues I was having with myself. I want him back so much, but he’s like he’s dating girl after girl. I texted him a few years ago, but he ignored them like he didn’t know who I am. I found out that he broke up with his ex and is now dating someone else. I do want him back, but what can I do? I’ve tried moving on, but my mind always come back to him and him alone.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 29, 2018 at 1:53 am

      Hi Destiny…..first find peace in yourself and know that you can be happy with or without him. Then you will feel empowered. As far as making a connection with him, perhaps trying texting again describing something you did together to trigger a response from him. Maybe he has moved on and if he has, hopefully he would share this with you.

  10. Shae

    May 14, 2018 at 6:56 pm

    I commited the mistake of sexting with my long distance ex…a few times. I need him to see me like something else (he always says that I’m more than my body but…) and I don’t knw how to break this wheel. I did NC and he always ended up texting me but during the last three months we only texted each other (he initiating) 4 times and 3 ended like that (even if he was more affectionate, not enough). I want to be more but I don’t want to scare him and show my cards about wanting him back.
    What can I do for being more than that for him again?

  11. Missraff

    May 8, 2018 at 12:28 pm

    Hi. My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. We had a very strong bond in our relationship. We still spoke during the 2 months and tried to take things slow but then we ended up fighting again. He then blocked me and i left it for about 2 weeks. I then called to tell him to bring my stuff to me he was abit skeptical about bringing it saying he doesnt want to get rid of me so easily but he found someone else. I then found out who she was (he and I were close with her family but he is closer as he works with her aunt)and completely freaked out and demanded he bring my things to me. I was hoping to be strong when I saw him but I completely lost it and begged him to come back. Of course he said no saying he moved on and I have to as well and he doesnt love me anymore(but 3 weeks ago he said he did). He asked if we could be friends at some point but not now. So right now I am working on myself not making contact with him but I really want to get him back. What do I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 8, 2018 at 2:47 pm

      Hi Missraff…remember that people say all kinds of things that are not necessarily true during a breakup. He may be involved with this new girl as a form of a rebound relationship. Time will tell if it gets any traction. It seems to me he still has feelings for you. You will be best positioned by picking up a copy of my comprehensive ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it is aimed at giving you a blueprint as to what you should and should not do (go to my website Menu/Products link). Your own self recovery is critical to this whole process and there are many things you can do to enhance your value in his eyes. So go take a look at some of my ebooks and other resources and services available that will help improve your chances.

  12. tammy

    May 5, 2018 at 12:37 am

    Hi. My ex and I dated for almost 2 years. We broke up in Jan 2018. He said he needed to work on himself and he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to be married again. We are both in our 40’s. We had a great relationship. Many things in common, never argued, great chemistry and mutual respect for each other.
    So I was shocked when he broke up with me. I didn’t beg or bargain to try to get him back. I was able to do no contact for 21 days.

    We’ve been emailing and texting ever so often, keeping it extremely upbeat. He called me once and we ran into each other on the train once where we sat together and he mentioned we should do dinner together. I agreed.
    Dinner never happened.

    Three weeks later I received a text message in the middle of the night from his new girlfriend (who I didn’t know existed). She sent 7 pictures and 2 video’s of them partying in London (on a trip that we had planned to take together) and 7 pictures of just herself in sexy clothes, including lingerie. I was devastated! Later found out that she had used his phone without his knowledge to send me those texts/pics. I am not connected to him on social media but found out that he did post 3 pics from their trip on his page.

    I quickly blocked his number, sent him a text and email saying she had better not text me again. He emailed me and apologized, saying she was angry at him and lashed out.

    I still want him back. I love him. We had a great relationship. He’s a great guy. Right now I’m on day 5 of No contact again. What do you think my chances of getting him back are and anything special i need to do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 4:04 am

      Hi Tammy! Well…with the way the other woman is behaving, I like your chances. She seems both vindictive and mean spirited. So perhaps this is a rebound relationship for him. You picked up my epic ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”, right? If not, go take a look (website Menu/Products link). It serves as sort of a Companion Guide, blueprint on tactics to optimize your chances. Right now, it’s your own personal recovery that is key. You seem to already have a strong constitution, so that bodes well. So read up on all the things you can be doing and drop me a line sometime to let me know how tings are going. By the way, you write really well! Take good care Tammy!

    2. Tammy

      May 7, 2018 at 5:58 pm

      I ran into my ex again on the train. We talked. I asked him the real reason we broke up. He said that he felt I deserved better, deserved someone who would marry me. Again, shocked! I told him I’ve been reading, mediating, working on myself and that I’d rather live the rest of my life in a good relationship than mess that up over a ring and a piece of paper.

      We went to lunch. Talked some more. Reminiscing over good times. He agreed that we had a great relationship. I told him I wanted him back. He said he was just dating the new girl, she is not his girlfriend. I may have told him too many times that I wanted him back but I was extremely nervous. He said he would let me know. Ended lunch on a good note.
      Today I sent him a link to a concert and a short video I filmed that we had attended once before. I did not mention we should go again, just left that unsaid.
      So we’ll see what happens from here. I’m so nervous waiting on his response. Not sure if I should text him again in a few days with more memories.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 7, 2018 at 10:31 pm

      Just go it slow Tammy….remember this whole ex recovery thing is a process. Sometimes it works…sometimes it doesn’t and if it doesn’t, that’s OK. Better to learn where we really stand, than delude ourselves. As to where this situation will lead…only time will tell. You guys are on talking terms and that is positive. Continue to use the tactics I discuss in my ebooks and here on the site.

    4. tammy

      May 8, 2018 at 1:48 pm

      To update: I received an email from him saying that going back is not an option for him. He is going forward with the new relationship and see where it takes him.
      I now have closure and have learned some very important things: patience, work on my communication skills and I need to listen to understand and not to reply and that I need to follow my instincts (I should have had this conversation with him at 21 day NC and not waited).
      It really was a good relationship. He just got scared and shut me out. Sometimes relationships don’t end because they are bad. It just might not be the right time. There are no hard feelings. For some reason I don’t feel the universe if through with the two of us yet but I’m moving on. I will accept this and see what the future holds for me.

      I only hope the new girl doesn’t ruin such a sweet man. I hope he can see her for who she is before it’s too late.

      Thanks for your help.

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 8, 2018 at 2:39 pm

      Your welcome Tammy….I have no doubt you are going to land on your feet through all this.

  13. krena

    May 3, 2018 at 4:00 pm

    My ex and I have been broken up 7 months now (he left me), we were in a LDR for 2 years. We are on friendly terms (he suggested we stayed friends) and have been in contact for most of those 7 months and i would say we are pretty close. Now he told me he has a new gf for 2 months and she is extremly jealous of me. She read all our conversations and demanded from him that he stopped contacting me and she deleted my number from his phone and defriended me from some of his apps. He then gave me a “secret” email adress so i can contact him…im corious how often should i contact him (i said i wont message him, as she might see the messages on his phone) or how to stay in touch in circumstances like these. and – van this situation turn out to my advantage?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 3, 2018 at 9:43 pm

      Hi Krena….I met my wife in a LDR….so it can work out, but its hard. The involvement of another girl is an added complication. He seems to want the best of both worlds. That is not sustainable in the longterm. You have to decide if you want to enable his behavior. Its not likely he is going to drop her immediately and come running to you. But he doesn’t seem so sure what he wants. Close call here. Maybe you pull back some. Let him wrestle with what he truly wants. Can you be just a friend to him? Or do you want much more from him? I sounds like you want the latter. Or maybe its both. Can you be just a friend, if he is truly committed to this other girl? Let some time go by and let’s see what you both think in the near future.

    2. krena

      May 4, 2018 at 10:42 am

      Thank you for replying, I appreciate it 🙂 You are right, I want more than just friendship…Its probably really best to pull away for some time, focus on myself and see what happens.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 4, 2018 at 3:41 pm

      I agree Krena. You also might want to look at joining my Private Facebook Support Group Community. I have about 1500 women (some men) in the Group. Its a pretty dynamic group whose aim is to help, share, support. I do weekly Facebook live webcasts. Just go to my website menu/products link to learn more!

  14. Lena

    April 14, 2018 at 10:42 am

    Hi Chris,
    Thanks so much for sharing this information. It’s so helpful and comforting to me right now. About 9 months ago, I met a really nice guy. He pursued me a lot and was very interested in me (more than I was in him at the time). He was very sweet and sincere with me and always uplifted me. He told me that a girl like me is hard to find (which i’ve Been told before). We had great chemistry in person and got along great and had easy conversations. I could tell that he really liked me by things he said and by how he acted with me. He talked about commitment, and how his friends and brothers were getting married, and that he is saving up to get a house. He told me that he didn’t want me to date anyone else. Anyway, so
    I started responding positively to his advances and pursuit of me. I started liking him back. And he suddenly became very hot and cold with me out of nowhere. I always got the feeling that he really liked me, but he would still disappear, and then would tell me that he didn’t want to disappoint me or let me down (even though I assured him that he never had). I was always patient & understanding about things. After a while of this, He told me that he’s still so unsure of who he is and what he wants in his life. So we continued to talk as friends. And the next part is where it all went downhill. He disappeared on me again and stopped answering my texts. I asked him to please not do that to me again. Then one day, I was just feeling so exhausted from it and a bit frustrated. I sent a text saying, “I guess I’m here when you’re ready to talk to someone who has their “stuff” together. I don’t know why I said that. I was just feeling ignored and hurt. So after I sent that text, he deleted me from everything online, (Snapchat etc). I was crushed. A week or 2 later he wrote me and said that my text upset him and he doesn’t Want to be around someone that thinks that way about him. I tried to apologize and explain that what I said came out the wrong way and I was just having a tough time when I said those words. He seemed to disregard that and Just made up his mind to be done at that point. So a month went by without any contact between me and him. Then the other night, I sent a text just to “test the waters”. I just said hi and that I hoped things were going well for him. He wrote back and said that he’s doing well and that he has a GIRLFRIEND now. I felt crushed. So basically, after he cut me off, he jumped into a relationship with someone else right away. And I almost feel like he used that text I sent that “upset” him, as an excuse to end things with me. He led me to believe that he really cared for me and wanted to date me for several months. And then goes and just gets a girlfriend after telling me that he doesn’t know what he wants in his life right now. Close friends and family keep telling me that I was too good for him, and that he probably didn’t feel good enough for me. (I never slept with him and told him I was waiting). But I dunno if they are just trying to make me feel better. This has been heartbreaking and confusing for me. I never responded to him after he told me he has a girlfriend. I am going to let time pass, and possibly try reaching out again in the future, if I feel that it’s worth it. What are your thoughts? Is that a real thing? Where guys can feel intimidated or unworthy of certain girls? I feel like he just rebounded with someone else, and settled with someone who was easier for him. I don’t know. Any advice would help! Sorry this is so long! Thanks for reading!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 14, 2018 at 2:56 pm

      Hi Lena. You seem like a really special person. And while one never knows how these things work out, perhaps the fit with him and you is not ideal considering how insensitive he has behaved. Think of it this way, perhaps he had done you a favor by shining some light on what he is really about. I know there are still some feelings there. You might want to consider an ebook I wrote called the “No Contact Rulebook”. It is lengthy and talks about the merits of the process, both in terms of optimizing one’s chances with a breakup, but also there is considerable information about the personal recovery side of the ex recovery equation. Also, I have a large Private Facebook Group this has some amazing women in it that help each other and I do live webcasts weekly. YOu can find more information about these resources at my website Menu/Products link. Take good care Lena!

    2. Lena

      April 15, 2018 at 8:23 am

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. You have no idea how much it’s helping me right now. I appreciate all your kind words and advice about my situation. It gives me a new perspective on things. I will definitely check out your e-book, and try to find the Facebook page as well. Thanks so much for taking the time to help all of us ladies out there who are trying to open up and heal our hearts! What a wonderful thing you are doing! Best regards.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 4:27 am

      Hi Lena…that is so sweet of you. You are special.

  15. May

    April 11, 2018 at 3:24 am

    Actually, me and my boyfriend had been dating for almost 14 years and a half. (we both were 15 then) we were childhood sweethearts. We loved each other so much. He was a very understanding boyfriend and that we had planned to marry on our 11th Anniversary. But Unfortunately, I was diagnosed that I have Addison disease. But he didn’t give up and he sent me to the hospital and incurred all the medication fees. After that our wedding was cancelled. but also he didn’t give up then, he supported me whatever I need both mentally and financially. But when my family got financial problem, he supported me a lot. But about one year ago, when I wanted to study the bachelor degree ( final year) he supported me. the problem has begun then, coz I was so stressed and whenever he called me and facetime with me, I was so irritated and I was like bad mouthed to him. He was so depressed. ( yeah, we were LDR then and I was studying at another state).
    and I was studying at another state). During my final year study, he went and visited to me just once. that is all. And when I came back we were discussing about the wedding again. but his business was financially in tight situation and he had another family problems. But I could never give him pure or sincere understanding and I stated to argued with him a lot. Then, he requested to give him some space, but I wouldn’t. So he started to drink a lot again and went to parties and dated with many girls and got one night stands for fun. When I found out that, I cursed him like hell. But we had reconciled for a while, it was about weeks. Then, I started to afraid to lose him forever. Then, I started to show my desperation and pleaded him not to leave me. he said he won’t . but I called him at nights and like checking if he is drinking with frds or chics. Then, seemed like he was annoyed a lot and then. He urged to break up. But shortly after that, about one weeks or one month, he got a new girlfriend. he went trips with her. He posted couple together with her and he brought her his home to meet with his parents. I  went so crazy. I begged him and asked to come back to me which he denied and he was like he considers me just as a friend. So it has been 7 mnths that we broke up and it has been 6 mnths he dates with the new gal. What should I do? I am so scared that the new girl may become a serious thing, not a rebound anymore. I tried No contact rule, but it didn’t work. but I think after that I had failed them coz I was so frenzy and I showed him my desperation whenever I saw him together with her and heard him with her from my mutual friends.
    pls help me, do I still have a hope or chance to get back together with him or is it the end? pls pls pls help me

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 11, 2018 at 4:42 am

      Hi May! No one can be sure of the future. But my sense is you should focus on your own healing and not count on him to be there for you. You have so many wonderful things ahead of you and while it may not feel this way to you right now, your long term happiness is not dependent on him.

  16. Queen

    April 6, 2018 at 6:12 pm

    My bf used to date this girl and he said she’s just a friend but I always knew it was more than that after coming to a serious condition I asked him to leave her instead he left me what do I do

    1. Jennifer Seiter

      Jennifer Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 2:56 am

      That’s a great question, you will have to start with no contact. Let him feel the loss of you not being in his life. I’d recommend 30-45 days no contact depending on the details of your relationship. When you start talking again try to act the opposite of controlling. Show him you have your own life.

    2. Queen

      April 10, 2018 at 1:44 pm

      Thanks a lot

    3. Jennifer Seiter

      Jennifer Seiter

      April 10, 2018 at 6:41 pm

      Your welcome. <3 Were here for you anytime you need us!

  17. Natasha

    April 4, 2018 at 12:19 pm

    Hi , My Ex boyfriend and i dated for 8 years. He has cheated on me before and i forgave him and we worked things out. We recently broke up again. And in three weeks i find out he started dating a new girl. What do i do in this situation ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 5, 2018 at 11:02 pm

      Ok, I have found the biggest and baddest strategy when it comes to your situation is the being there method. Do you know what that is?

  18. Michaela Lim

    April 4, 2018 at 8:34 am

    My ex boyfriend and I dated for a year and a half and broke up about 2 months ago. He came over one Sunday and I was on his phone and saw he added this girl on snapchat but logged out because he didn’t want me seeing that he added her. A few days prior to this I had told him how I had a gut feeling he liked her and he assured me he didn’t like her and I didn’t need to worry. After that sunday we got into an argument over it and he told me we needed a break the next day, and i told him i didn’t want to take one because his birthday and our annaversary was in 2 days so he just broke up with me instead. He tried getting with a girl he dated briefly in the past but she turned him down, so he came back to me saying he wanted me back and he missed me and all he truly wanted was just a break. I gave in and we had sex and this only lasted a couple of days maybe like 3 then he was onto the next girl. He’s been texting the girl he added on snapchat but she friend zoned him, so he didn’t think he had a chance and kept me around still. She started to get closer as they texted everyday and now has feelings for him, they pretty much hangout everyday now and he hasn’t spoken or texted me for 2 weeks. I’m trying to do NC, i’m on week 2. I just really want him back we had a great relationship but I don’t know if he’s happier with her or if he even misses me at all.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 5, 2018 at 10:58 pm

      Two words for you here…


      The being there method is the premier strategy for your situation.

      God, I wish you were at the webinar yesterday. Anna (another coach) and I talked about this A LOT!

    2. Michaela

      April 7, 2018 at 12:08 pm

      Should I still finish my no contact period before I start the being there method?

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 9:50 pm

      Yep you definitely need to.

  19. Sadia rodoshi

    March 20, 2018 at 9:34 am

    Me nd my ex broke up 1 month ago he is 1 year serious then me in school he reads 2
    classes senior then me he broke up with me because he said I was overprotective I said iam not but if you think okk I will be better for u he said no need brkup then before the brkup he said he is having nd fake rltn with his classmate to show that classmates ex jealous then after our brkup he gone to a serious rltn with the same girl but today he was peeking through my class so I love him so much that I can’t explain nd he blocked me from facebook etc so what should I do to get him back

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 25, 2018 at 4:52 pm

      Hi Sadia,

      Try the no contact rule. Approach it like this one:
      EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

  20. Lucy

    March 15, 2018 at 11:07 pm

    I started dating my boyfriend when we were 16 years old. At the age of 21 we broke up mutually because we thought we’d fallen out of love. Two years later we got back together and both realised we’d made a mistake.
    We’d been together since, however he broke up with me a few weeks ago due to feeling a connection with another woman. We’re both 38 this year and since we’ve spent so many years together I wanted to try and make things work but he said he no longer feels that way for me. I come from a bad background and tend to keep things to myself, the woman he’s fallen for is very open, I think he felt he’s missed out so much with me. I told him I’d get counselling but he doesn’t want to try.
    I’m falling apart.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 16, 2018 at 3:39 pm

      Hi Lucy,

      Try the nc rule and check this one:
      The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

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