It can really hurt when an ex boyfriend (who you still have feelings for) has moved on to another girl. Many women lose all hope of getting their ex back when they learn their boyfriend has taken up with a new girlfriend. Others will get angry and immediately look to start a fight, lashing out out their ex.  Rarely will you ever come across one that does the smart thing, stacking the odds in her favor!

So how do you win back an ex who is with someone else?  Well, my short, expert answer is:

To maximize your chances of success of getting your ex boyfriend back if he already has a girlfriend you should recognize the focus must be on you creating value in yourself and and finding ways to make your ex see how you are becoming what  I call, the Ungettable Girl.

Learning how to get your ex back even if he has a new girlfriend is not going to entirely rest entirely on making him jealous.  Nor is it going to depend on you sabotaging their relationship (that tactic rarely works and usually backfires).  It’s going to take a full commitment to rising above the hateful feelings that might be bubbling up.  I know the feeling of rejection cannot feel worse under these circumstances.

But if you are trying to get back an ex boyfriend who has moved on and now hates you more because of the ugliness that ensued upon you learning he is now with someone else, you need to implement a strategic plan

So don’t dig a deeper hole for yourself.

By the way, if you haven’t already read my epic article on how to get your ex boyfriend back I suggest you drop everything for the next 30 minutes (yes 30 minutes) and go read it!

7  New Signs That Your Ex Has Moved On and Now Is With Someone Else?

Is it possible you can spot when your boyfriend is slipping away?  In the back of your mind, you may already suspect your boyfriend is with someone else.  And clearly there are telltale signs you can spot that will point to him slipping out of your life.  But what if he is already your ex, but it hasn’t been that long since the breakup.

Perhaps part of you is still hoping for  a reconciliation.  You may be thinking this falling out you have had with your ex boyfriend won’t last long. You may think that it has happened in the past, so certainly the two of you will find a way to work it out.

That is what many girls think when a breakup occurs.  There is often a certain degree of disbelieve, a suspension of acceptance to the new relationship situation.  You may never think that your ex would have a new girlfriend after a month or even sooner.  But it happens.

So what signs are there that speak to whether ” does he still like me or has he moved on to a new girlfriend”?

After all, that is what you will come to fear as days go by without hearing from your ex.  You will wonder “how could my ex move on so quickly”.  You may think to yourself, “my ex has moved on but I haven’t and it hurts.”

There are 7 signs that point to your ex boyfriend moving on from you emotionally and finding another girl.  Whether she stole his heart or he was already involved with her before the breakup is something we will take up later.  But for now, what are the signs your ex is falling for another girl or is already involved with a new girlfriend since you guys busted up.

1. You are hearing rumors of sightings of your ex boyfriend with another girl.

2. When you check your ex boyfriend’s social media pages (Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram), you are seeing pictures and stories that leave you out, but consistently includes a new face of a new girl.

3. Your ex, who use to still text you even after the break up, has gone silent and is not responsive to your texts.

4. In an effort not to hurt you further, your ex boyfriend tells you that he went out on double date or was hanging out with another girl, but it’s not serious.  Truth be told, your ex likely wouldn’t go out of his way to tell you this unless something more was going on.  Guilt is playing on his mind.

5. Your ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend posts pics on Facebook or Snapchat of her and your ex together.

6. He tells you that he needs some space and is through with girls, yet you know from your experience he loves women and is always in their company.

7. Your ex boyfriend blocks you from seeing his social media pages, cutting all other ties with you immediately after your questioning of whether he is dating someone else.  In effect, he is doing a sloppy job of trying to cover his tracks.

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10 Signs That Your Boyfriend Has NOT Moved On or Given Up On You

Sometimes, after a breakup, you will come to fear that your ex will move on and replace you with some other girl he knows or has talked about.  This fear can be paralyzing and occupy hours of your day as your obsess over whether your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend or how to deal with this if it should happen.

You may dream of fantasy scenarios where you discover your ex now has a new girl in his life, but since you want him back quickly, you will pull off some dramatic sequence of events that will miraculously bring your him back to you.    If you are afflicted with such thoughts, what you probably need to do is take a deep breath and remind yourself you can’t know everything and nor can you control all his decisions.

But there are some signs that reveal your ex has NOT moved on.  They include:

1. There is no evidence or rumors or whispers that your ex boyfriend has been seen with anyone else

2. You and your ex have only been broken up for a few days and communications are not completely cut off.

3. Your ex boyfriend still initiates contact, checking up on you.

4. When reviewing your ex boyfriend’s Facebook page, Shapchat or Instagram stories, there is no signs of another female in his life.

5. You know his former girlfriend and there is no new stirrings on her social media accounts or whispers that she wants back with her ex.

6. The breakup between you and your ex was relatively civil and did not involve harsh accusations or threats.

7. It has only been a few days or weeks since the two of you split up without any obvious evidence pointing to a new gal on the horizon.

8. There were no previous signs of your ex boyfriend cheating on you while the relationship was ongoing.

9. There is no history of your ex being unfaithful to you or with any of his other girlfriends of the past.

10. You are hearing and have come to believe that this breakup has been hard on your ex boyfriend.

Remember The Most Important Thing Is To Have a Strategy

Before you do anything rash in trying to help your ex boyfriend realize that his new girlfriend is NOT as good as you, it’s important that you understand the role the No Contact Rule plays in this whole process. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into this principle. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.

If you don’t have the patience to read that entire page, let me sum up some of the most important points for you.

No Contact Does Not Mean You Are Giving Up On Your Ex Just Because He Has Found a New Lady Friend!

What it means is that you are going to be smart and fist focus on your own recovery, while at the same time increase your own value as he perceives you.  So how does this principle work?

  • No contact means no communications what so ever for 30 days (1 full month.)
  • It means no texting, calling, emailing, letters, Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram messaging to him or stalking or Googling.
  • During your 30 day freeze out, make sure you improve yourself both mentally and physically, bettering your game in multiple areas of your life.

You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has fallen for a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing.  You are going to want to contact your ex very badly and you probably are not going to have many good things to say.  So don’t go there.  It only hurts you inside and hurts your chances.

Now before we get into what your game plan should consist of, let’s preview 5 common queries you may have:

1. How on earth did you ex boyfriend end up with a new girlfriend?

2. How is it that he seemingly replaced you with a new woman?

3. In what way did you fail him that he could so easily start up a new thing with this girl?

4. Why did your ex boyfriend so quickly start up a new relationship?

5. Is It normal for an ex to have a new girlfriend only after a few days?

5 New Case Study Situations That Explain How and Why Your Ex Got His New Girlfriend.  Is He Worth It? Should You Get Him Back?

New Girlfriend

Sometimes, trying to keep the hope alive that you can get your ex boyfriend back is unfair to you.  Certain relationship situations can evolve to a place where working to get him back could be a big mistake, maybe bigger than getting involved with him in the first place.

So when we have situations where an breakup has happened and an ex boyfriend discards you for another girlfriend both swiftly and with an air of arrogance and insensitivity, you need to think long and hard before going after a guy that may very well only hurt you very deeply again.

Believe it or not, how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline five situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that would be worthwhile to pursue and three of the situations are going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back. Let’s begin.

Situation 1 – You Initiate The Break Up and He Finds A New Girlfriend

You broke up with your boyfriend, then realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. The breakup was clean and you handled it well and he took it well, except he was clearly damaged by your decision.  If you are in this situation, then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex back of you genuinely feel the problems you both experienced can be overcome.  The relationship he is in now could be a rebound or it could flame out.  It is also possible he is playing the jealousy card.

Situation 2 – He Leaves You and Steps Into a Rebound Relationship

He broke up with you and perhaps thinking that the grass is greener, decided to try out the field.  Eventually he settles in with a new woman and already you can see his over the top expectations with his new found “love”  could lead to problems.  Again, this is a really common situation and you may discover his new found lover is far from the right match. So it would be worth going forward with your action plan.

Situation 3- He Cheated On You During the Relationship and Lied

He left you for another girl. That hurts a lot.  But then you learn later that he has been cheating on you the entire time the two of you were together.  Then he says he wants to still sleep with you, though he is still with this other woman.  Really?  Was he ever in love with you?  Were you his rebound for this other girlfriend in his life?  Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here.  This guy is not someone that you should want to get back with.

Situation 4:  Your Ex Boyfriend Is Dating Your Sister

The two of you fought a lot. You were never convinced if you could trust him.  The relationship did not last very long.  You both went your on ways, pretty disgusted with each other, though the sex was great.  In fact, it was so good, you both ended up together in bed shortly after the breakup.  But now you have learned your ex boyfriend is dating your sister.  In this case, my advice is hands off.  This guy is already demonstrated he is trouble and unreliable.  Despite the awesome sex, you are far better off taking your awesome self on another path and find another guy.

Situation 5: Your Ex Cheated On You With Your Best Friend

So you find yourself in a situation where you can’ t decide who you should be more angry and disgusted with.  Your ex or your best friend.  And while you still have feelings for your ex boyfriend, you can’t get the images of the two of them out of your mind.  Neither of them realize that you are on to them.  It’s decision time.  What do you do?  In this case, it is a sort of no win situation as everybody is losing something.  So you confront them both.  They both lie.  Then you provide proof and everything collapses from there.  Now everyone is on their on, with plenty of confused, hurt, and hard feelings to go around.  My advise to you is to keep it that way.  Your ex bf crossed a big line.  And so did your best friend.  So I recommend you just utilize an extended no contact period and allow for the chips to fall where they may, but keeping the focus on your own self recovery.

5 Wicked Truths To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back When A New Girlfriend Is In the Picture

truth

This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Let’s explore!

Truth 1: Don’t Communicate With Your Ex and His New Girlfriend – Leave Them Alone

Not contacting your ex and is new girl is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong. Getting mad, breaking down and texting your ex a hateful message about his new girlfriend isn’t going to help your ultimate goal is it? Instead, be cool and don’t worry, every dog has it’s day.

Truth 2: Allow Time For Your Ex Boyfriend’s New Relationship to Falter

It’s not always easy dating someone new. Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is not as comfortable in his new relationship as you may have thought. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step…

Truth 3: If It’s a Rebound Relationship It Will Blow Up On Its On

Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. Lucky for you, rebound relationships don’t last forever. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships are bound to fail. So, the odds are in your favor.  Just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. Don’t add fuel to their relationship.  Remember, if you freak out you are going to make a lot of mistakes and mistakes aren’t going to help get you two back together.

Truth 4: Your Ex Boyfriend Will Grow To Miss You As Time Goes By

It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets, the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things (like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup) he will remember all the good things, particularly when he is constantly forced to compare you against the realities of his new girlfriend.  His notion that she would be so great for him, may likely not pan out, thereby increasing your value. This can definitely work in your favor.

Truth 5: You Can Be Strategic During The No Contact Period To Enhance Your Value

This is probably the most important truth and ex recovery strategy of them all.  You should not be sitting idly by.  You are going to be using this time to heal and striving to become the best version of YOU.  And you are going to see to it that you ex boyfriend notices all these wonderful changes.  So too will his new girlfriend.  So how do you win back your ex who is shacking up with another girl, someone of his supposed dreams?  You make sure that you portray the view of somebody who is happy, beautiful, ungettable, sexy, and AVAILABLE.  So you are going to employ some little jealousy traps and many other value building activities and tactics.

New Ways To Cope If Your Ex Left You For Another Woman

coping

It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else. I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Remember, just because he is dating someone new doesn’t mean your chances are gone completely. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you.

5 Frequently Asked Questions and What You Should Know and How To Cope

Here is a rundown on the kind of thoughts and questions many women have when dealing with an ex who has found him someone else. Here is what you may be thinking and why its OK.

1. He left me for someone else and I am wondering if it will last?

Just know that these kinds of relationships with a new lady often have a short fuse. Don’t panic.  Give it at least 3 months before you draw any meaningful conclusions.  But don’t wait on him.  Get busy with life.

2. My ex boyfriend left me for someone else he loves more.  Will he ever come back to me?

You really can’t be sure if this new girlfriend in his world loves him or if he loves her.  Appearances, particularly after a breakup, can be misleading.  So give time a chance to unwind the truth of their relationship. Your ex certainly won’t come back if you approach the situation with desperation or begging.  What you want to do is have a plan to get yourself noticed by him in a positive way.

3. What do you do if your ex leaves you for another and then he still wants to be friends with you?

You need to be careful here that you don’t get involved in a friends with benefits situation.  He left you for a reason.  Maybe it’s not  a good reason. Maybe he is not the right man for you.  Perhaps you still want him back.  I would caution you about remaining a real good friend if you want him again, because it will send him conflicting signals that he might still be able to be with you and have casual sex.  Its better to employ a strategy of No Contact and explore that angle first, before you opt to be just a friend.

4. My ex boyfriend dropped me and is now dating my co-worker.

Your game plan should not change. Certainly, things might be somewhat more awkward, but there could be some positives you can take from this situation.  If your co-worker who is now dating your ex comes into work one day with tears, then maybe something good/bad is happening.  Also, there may be times when you see them together at the work setting (before or after work).  You can use this opportunity to make a classy appearance, showcasing your wonderful, happy looking self.

5. My ex left me for someone else and now wants me back as he says we deserve another chance.

That seems awful convenient for him. So how do you deal with being dumped for someone else, then he comes crawling back?  Should you just take him back in, forgiving your ex for his foolishness?  Of course, exactly what you do depends on your history and other circumstances, but I would caution you to move slowly.  If you have not had adequate time to deal with the pain and hurt of what he did to you, tell him you need time.  If he can’t accept that, then he is not worth pursuing.  And if you choose to restart the relationship, do so like you are dating for the first time.  Do it in small steps.  No sex on the first or second dates.  He needs to demonstrate he regrets his decision.

5 Ways To Heal After Learning Your Ex Is Involved With Somebody Else

1. Keep The Focus On You

Try your best not to obsess over his situation and this new girl. You can’t control what he does but you can control what your own actions. Go out and have fun. Make new friends. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself.

2. It’s Not Your Fault He Chased After This New Girlfriend

Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did wrong or something that they could not provide. Dating isn’t always black and white like that. Whatever happens, make sure you don’t let an ex boyfriends actions affect how you feel about yourself.

3. Accept That There Will Be Pain

You are not a robot. You can’t just turn off your feelings. It’s OK to feel pain over the situation, but once that pain starts creeping into your everyday life and effecting how you live then you have problems.

4. Beware Of The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome

This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page. Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back, just because someone else has them. They may be disgusted by his actions and may not even want him any longer, but can’t stand the thought of another woman with him at this time. If you find that you are in this situation, be very careful about proceeding to get him back or ruining his efforts. You may need to go back and do some serious soul searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.

5. Resist Any Comparisons

It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new (hopefully temporary) girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all.  Just know that you have your own special qualities that no one can duplicate.

3 Clever Actions You Can Take To Help Your Ex Recovery Cause

actions to take

So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze. Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control.

I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use! However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

(Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.)

1. Watch For Trouble Signs

No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Each one has it’s ups and downs. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you.

2. Initiate Contact Via Text Message

At the right time, test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.

3. Be Very Nice To Him And His New Girlfriend

If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response, be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting, but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it.  Remember, you are becoming the Ungettable girl. You don’t need to trash her or him because he blew by letting you go and she is probably way out of his league.

3,739 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. Monica

    January 6, 2019 at 11:45 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My ex and I broke up 2 months ago because he said he didn’t love me enough. This was the second time we broke up and the first was because I didn’t love him enough. When we started dating he has had a girlfriend for 2 years and he left her for me and told me that I was much better than her. Now I tried no contact period and during it he was always telling me how he wanted to be friends with me but I said I needed time. He eventually started meeting with his ex who he left for me after he has told everybody that she has changed and didn’t like her the way he did before. Our no contact period finished when we played spin the bottle in the dorm because we live together. He didn’t act like a friend but like he wants me again. Then he texted me first and we texted for like 10 days and he told how we should play it again. On January 1st he stopped texting me like I have never existed and I discovered that he has bought a present for his ex and that he comments all of her posts. I considered of being his best friends again and help him with his relationship because that’s how we fell for each other the first time because I was always the shoulder he could cry on. What should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 7, 2019 at 4:44 am

      Hi Monica….I know it hurts when the guy your care about goes back and forth on what he seemingly wants. I think you should consider implementing No Contact and utilize my Program (see home page) so you understand how the whole post breakup recovery process works.

  2. Allison

    January 3, 2019 at 9:52 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My ex (I’ll call him E) and I weren’t together all that long before my previous ex (I’ll call him D) showed up and sabotaged our relationship. D refused my decision to stay with my new relationship. He kept pressuring me, guilting me, and ultimately pushed me to take a step back from my new relationship with E to get my head straight (I never fully realized how emotionally manipulative he was, but that’s a different issue).
    I spent some time with D trying to see if that relationship could work again, but I knew pretty early on that it wouldn’t. However, I stayed involved with him because I feared he’d hurt himself if I left (and he even guilted me with that when I did leave).
    E and I were in touch periodically, and he was still very interested in a relationship and a future with me. Our relationship was great and we were very good together. He told me that I made him the happiest that he had ever been, and that I was “the one.”
    Since it took me a few months to finally end things with D, E recently started to see someone else. However, not even a month before he was telling me he wanted a future with me and that getting back together was best for us. I know he still has strong feelings for me, and he knows I still have strong feelings for him He and I don’t really talk, and I believe that’s because he’s trying to give his new relationship a chance. He views all of my Snapchat stories and will strike up a conversation if I run into him at work.
    I miss him terribly, and want him back. I have a gut feeling that he’ll be back, but it’s hard to focus on myself. Any advice would be appreciated.
    Thank you so much!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 3, 2019 at 11:04 pm

      It’s best to have a sensible ex recovery plan in place Allison. Take a look at some of my resources that can show you how to approach this.

  3. Jennifer

    January 1, 2019 at 4:34 am

    Hi Chris,

    My ex and I broke up 3 months ago right before I left for a six-week trip. I tried not to focus on the heartbreak too much during my vacation, but once I returned in the beginning of November, everything came rushing back. I found out he started dating someone else mid-November and is still currently seeing her. Being apart and alone for the first time made me realize and appreciate other things in my life, but not a day passed that I haven’t missed him. Our mutual friend told me the girl is likely a rebound so I’m not sure how I should proceed. I’ve thought about asking him to come to my tournament in three weeks if he’s willing to get back together. If he doesn’t show up then I’ll have my answer and I’ll wish him the best. But, should I hold back because he’s still seeing someone?
    Thank you!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 1, 2019 at 5:44 pm

      Hi Jennifer!

      I am happy for you that you were able to use your alone time to see a bigger picture and appreciate other things in life. In my Program, particularly in my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”, I talk about ways of processing how to move on. One can move on, with completely writing the other person out of their life. The future is always moving with different possibilities, so one never knows quite where it will lead. But doing those things that bring you fulfillment and moving forward with life is important.

  4. Allison

    December 17, 2018 at 2:26 am

    Hi Chris,

    My ex (I’ll call him E) and I broke up ~6 months ago. My previous ex (I’ll call him D) came back into the picture and pressured/guilted me into ending my new relationship (to give him another chance). Being emotionally torn, I ended my new relationship with E to “figure things out.” E and I were in touch periodically and he regularly told me how much he wanted me back and how happy I had made him. Although I knew that D and I wouldn’t work, the relationship was emotionally abusive and I stayed “together” with him.

    I recently ended things with D to find that E is in a new relationship. However, up until ~2 months ago, E was still extremely interested in getting back together and told me how much he wanted us to work. Now, he actively ignores me at work and won’t have any contact with me. However, he watches all of my Snapchat stories – so I’ve been posting more because I know he’ll watch. I think he’s just trying to see this new relationship through because he feels like he owes it to the new girl. I believe he still has strong feelings for me. Any ideas on what I can do?
    Thank you!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 17, 2018 at 10:47 pm

      Hi Allison…your ex seems stuck in uncertainty. If you are following my Program you will be upping the ante on your value to make it even more difficult for him to look past you!

  5. Violeta

    December 16, 2018 at 12:48 am

    Hi Chris,

    Would appreciate your advice. I’m 30 and my ex is49 . Huge age gap. We live in same apartment complex. He was separated going through divorce when we met. Started out great we were together for 6 months. But divorce proceedings got stressful and we broke up after few attempts of trying. Been 5 months but he would try to contact me we talked in between. Felt he did try to reach out and said he does think about me.

    We recently were bumping into each other. I called to say we should meet clear the air. Well we spoke he said he has a gf now. But wedid talk about us. He said he does miss us how I could just pop to his as I lived in the same block and we would watch movies our shows. He did say our relationship was intense he loved me. His current one he hasn’t mentioned love. He said it’s just for company and it’s just relaxed as she is divorced and has a kid and I guess he’s told her he never wants to get married so it’s easy.

    He complimented my hair said I looked good. But does still think of me. He said he had to think logical and that I was way younger and deserve to have a family kids the dream which he realised he can’t provide with me due to divorce and losing financially. He thinks I’m high maintenance and if we met 10 yrs ago he would be in better place and we would be together as he feels we are compatible and do get along,

    It was obvious he had feelings for me but he kept saying he’s a broken old wood now and just living life. He did say he was hurt I put up a pic of a guy I dated 2 weeks after our break up. He even described the pic and the guy. He said he’s been through his own battle as it was difficult our relationship was intense. Now he’s in a very convenient relationship he only meets her when he’s free and she’s cool about it.

    He did say are you with that guy the bf? I lied said yes cuz I was jealousof his gf. Anyways so Chris do I still have a chance to get back? He has seen a pic of my guy and he said he’s fit and fresh unlike an old wood which he meant himself.

    We are keeping in touch through text and he did say it was nice meeting me. How can I get him back? I know he still loves me . Please help.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 16, 2018 at 4:30 pm

      Hi Violeta!

      It looks like you have been thru a lot. Just think little steps with the texting and work toward a causal meet up. You might want to pick up my eBook, “The Texting Bible” as it has a lot of information on how you can use texting to rebuild the connection.

  6. Joelina

    December 10, 2018 at 4:15 pm

    Hey,
    So my ex had a new girlfriend 2 days after the break up and I was devestaded of course. But 2 weeks later he wrote me that he loves me so much and can’t stop thinking about me. One week after this he was at the airport and went to his home country over the holidays and asked me to come to the airport to give me my stuff back. So I went there and when we saw each other we didn’t hold a grudge. He hugged me the whole time, cried, touched my hair and laughed with me. Which made me hopes. After he went into the gate he wrote me that he wished he would have kissed me and that he already misses touching and seeing me. As soon as he landed in Portugal I didn’t hear anything of him anymore. So his new girlfriend is also in Portugal and since then they are the overly happy couple. Posting pics and doing things he never did with me. So of course I’m heartbroken. In that time he contacted me 2 times. The first time I ignored him and he blocked me directly. The second time I got weak but told him right after that I need time for myself and asked him to respect that. Everytime he wrote me, he posted happy pictures of them together after. What can i think of this. Do i still have a Chance? Im in NC at the moment. But hearing my friends tell me what he posted etc hurt me really bad because even if we had a relationship status he never posted pictures with me. Why is he doing all of this? Should I keep going or is it hopeless because they seem so happy.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 10, 2018 at 11:22 pm

      Hi Joelin! I am sorry this is a struggle for you. You need to be first focus on your emotional health. Not sure why he is behaving like this. Could be lots of reasons. The silver lining is it gives you some insight into how he is as a person. I have a lot of great Podcasts and videos that can help you in the healing department. Check out my Private Facebook Support Group as well!

  7. Marie

    December 3, 2018 at 1:52 am

    Hi! My exbf and 1 dated for a solid 7 yrs and were in a on/off non-committed relationship for 2 yrs before that. He is 32 and I’m 31. This was my first relationship so I didn’t handle it well. He first broke up last April due to a huge fight days before the break up which went on for days and his friends interfered. I found out that they have a groupchat where they were talking about me, badmouthing me and even introducing a girl to him. I got hurt and mad seeing this that I confronted him about it. I was totally devastated and was a complete mess. He said that he want to finish our relationship, he is no longer happy, he fell out of love and that he needed space. A lot of hurtful words were exchanged and I did all the mistakes possible.

    After a few days he agreed to continue our relationship but nothing changed because he remained close to communicating and fixing the problem with me so we argued a lot. Come June he said that he really want to stop. We still talk and see each other after that. He was hot and cold with me but remained sweet and affectionate but distant. I was completely desperate and needy. I started limited contact August and continued with complete NC by September for 40 days.

    After NC by mid October, I tried to contact him and he was responding really positively. We’ve been texting and seeing each other a lot. It was always me who initiated though. There were times that our conversations leads to him sexting me. When we meet there were sexual advancements but no sex, I think it happened 2x. When I was sick he took care of me and I can still feel that I was still there, through his hugs and soft kisses. He even accompanied me to do errands when asked w/o 2nd thoughts.

    By 2nd week of November, he was still replying to my texts but when we need to meet because I need to get stuff from his house, he was cold and distant. I also found out that there were happenings that he didn’t told me about which hurted my feelings. I was open to him about it but not in a desperate or needy way. After that he started ignoring me completely and it turned out that he was out of the country. I was again dissapointed but didn’t nag him about it. I sent him a short message that I was happy to reconnect with him, that I’m not expecting anything, I just wanted to start over and get to know him again. I sent a couple of texts the day after but got no replies so I backed off and started NC again by the 3rd week of Nov. He started deleting and untagging our pictures together on social media.

    It turned out that he has a new girl and posted it on facebook just last Thursday and already told his family we’ve broken up. I was really shocked, sad, I don’t know what to feel. He told me that he is not seeing someone even though I already guessed that he is texting someone else. Almost 9 yrs and he’s now in a new relationship after 5 mos. I kept my cool and pushed with no contact (day 17) and posting on facebook/instagram. I actually can hold myself emotionally, unlike before, I just feel sad and I can’t keep myself from stalking them on FB, I’m trying not to.

    I still have a lot of stuff left at his house, is it a good idea to get it? His sister is offering to get it for me, or should I just get it after NC? I’m thinking of doing NC until the end of the year, is that enought time? And I’m also thinking of writing a thank you message to her family. I don’t know if I should send it now, but Christmas is coming and I really want to meet his family and say my thanks at least. Is there a possibility that this is just a rebound even after 5 mos? Before doing NC he still kept on texting the other girl that was introduce to him by his friends and this new girl is still not in the picture by that time. The girl is 10 yrs younger than him and looks similar to me. I still want him back but I don’t know if I have a chance anymore. 🙁 I want to wait but I’m not going to hold myself for him. 🙁

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 3, 2018 at 9:31 pm

      Hi Marie! A lot going on here….I see that you have been thru a lot. Do you have a sensible ex recovery plan that you are following? It would help so you can be assured you are making good strategic and tactical decisions.

  8. Hopeful

    November 13, 2018 at 12:06 pm

    Me & my ex were together 10 years, I’m 27 he’s 28. He told me he started to have feelings for someone at work and it broke me. We decided to work on things and told me he stopped contact with her at work. Within the week of “working” on things, he friend started to msg him while she had a boyfriend. We lived together, were speaking about marriage and he was showing me rings, one month after that is when this all started with the losing feelings for me. Within the week of working on things I found out he was talking to another girl and was so distant with me. I confronted him & he said he didn’t have it in him to work on things. We continued to live together but he was always sleeping out & never home. Within the 3 months we lived together while being broken up, first month we were still intimate and acted like a couple. We had cried together and he always told me he didn’t want another relationship with someone he just wanted to be single and enjoy life. He told me we couldn’t continue to live with each other but as for our lease contract we had no choice. I then told him last month enough is enough, please leave you’re never here & he did. I found out he is now living with this girl, he’s known her for about 5 months. Within the 2nd month of our break up I did contact her & she didn’t even know about me, she told me her and her boyfriend broke up a week ago but she really liked my ex & she told me she would keep her distance from him but i felt stupid for contacting her, I felt desperate & wanted answers. After he left he contacted me & I would contact back if it was regarding bills or financial situations. He then messaged me about nonessential things but I never replied. Longest we went without contact was 8 days. He messaged me first again because of a financial issue, I responded & haven’t spoken to him since. He broke me & the past few months I have been working towards improving myself and he had even told me the last time I seen him how beautiful I looked and he left with his head hanging low when he asked me how I was and if I was okay. I simply replied yes, I’m fine. I couldn’t believe he moved in with her, he moved a few things to his parents but refused to live with them, I kept all of the furniture and he told me he didn’t want any of it. It never makes more than a week without him contacting me regarding something he knows I have to answer & cant ignore as I’ve ignored non important things before. I did mess up in the first few months of the break up with crying, calling him & being needy. For one month he has been gone & I do love him deeply, despite everything. In 10 years we never broke up, our fights never lasted for then a few hours and they were silly little things. Beyond anything we were best friends, he had called me to tell me he tried filling the void inside him with things he doesn’t enjoy doing because everything reminds him of me. This was over a month ago, my greatest fear is this isn’t a rebound for him, he chose to see where things would go with this girl instead of working on things with me. At this point I don’t know what else to do besides improve myself, not contact him & wait for him to contact me. Although he can be stubborn & in my opinion he thinks I’m okay with the breakup since I never try to contact him. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you & sorry for the extremely long post.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 14, 2018 at 2:06 am

      I hopeful…so you both have 10 years together and that is traction and should help you going forward. I agree more time and space apart is a pragmatic approach. Have you had a chance to take a look at my No Contact Rule Book or Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. These resources can help you understand this whole process of potentially re-attracting your ex and also help you in the healing department. I see you have been working on being the best “you” you can be and you should be proud of your efforts. Keep working in that direction.

  9. Tia Thieman

    October 22, 2018 at 3:36 am

    So my boyfriend and father to my child dumped me for another girl. I am pregnant with my second our second child. I know deep down I shouldn’t want him back. However I would give anything to figure this thing out and go the distance. I love the man he could be. Hes acting like hes having the time of his life. I might have freaked out in the beginning but now I’m trying this no contact rule in Hope’s one day he will return and remember we were a family. I should add that hes 20 and I’m 30. So I get his age is a factor.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 22, 2018 at 3:52 am

      Hi Tia!

      Very sorry for what has happened to you. Its upsetting to me that men behave this way. I think NC is the right medicine for you. Consult my home page of this site for resources and tools.

  10. Confused

    September 17, 2018 at 11:42 pm

    I was in a LDR,I found out my boyfriend has a live in partner but he said he will fix things I just need to be patient. That I’m the one he chose. But one day his gf found out about us and the girl deleted his social media account (that’s where we mostly text each other) the girl knows his password. After that day I haven’t heard from the guy. Not even an explanation or closure. Although he still has his main account and hasn’t blocked me yet, I left him messages but he ignores them. Doesn’t even read them at all. He has two accounts btw. The girl just deleted the one where he can communicate with me. She doesn’t know about it till she opened his email. But the guy added me already before on his main account. Although it hurts me because they have pictures there together the guy always tells me I have nothing to worry about because the pictures are from years ago. He no longer updates it. I thought he really chose me but what happened? He wasn’t even talking to me. Last I heard the girl kicked him out of their house. What should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 19, 2018 at 12:24 am

      Hi Confused!

      Interesting name. But lets change it to “Empowered”, because that is where you should strive to be. Go to my home page and tap into the articles and tools and books there as they can help you figure out how to deal with your ex.

  11. Helen

    September 4, 2018 at 6:40 pm

    Me (28) and my ex (27) we met at work. We are of different nationalities. I liked him a bit but at that time he had a girlfriend, so I didn’t do anything not even flirt. After six months at a party we slept together. Then I went on holidays. He kept texting every day. When I got back we met again and he broke up with his ex to be with me. (His ex was his first girl ever and the only girl that he ever did anything with). Everything was fine but 3 months later he said that he thinks of maybe trying again with his ex because he thought he didn’t try enough. So He talks with his ex they agree to give it another try and we break up. He kept texting me all this time again saying he misses me and he has doubts about what his choice. After a week his ex tells him that she is dating a new person and she doesn’t want to try again. I called him trying to support him while he was devastated because I could understand his pain. I said ok but you know how I feel about you so please let me know where we stand. He said he had feelings for me of course but he doesn’t know anymore with everything that happened and that we would have to meet in person to see how he feels. We met 2 times and he said yeah let’s give it a try of course I have feelings for you. We started dating again properly and everything was fine. Of course he was telling me from time to time that he has these emotional drawbacks but the last very little and that they are getting better. All this time the only thing I wanted was from him to tell me that he is in love with me. He didn’t. He was very future oriented (He is Dutch after all) and coming from a small village, he was thinking about how I would fit with his friends that don’t speak english, that we are from very different backgrounds and that can be good and bad. 2 months ago we broke up because he said that he feels that he missed the boat or the timing is bad. He said he has still feelings for me,that I am the funniest girl he ever met, he has never felt so connected with anyone and that we like the same things (expect the fact that I don’t do a lot of sports and I smoke), but he doesn’t know what else is out there because he has only seen two extremes (his ex and me, as we are culturarly different). So we break up. We talk from time to time on the phone or on whatsapp (this time I mostly began the contact). I asked him if it was completely done between us for him ( two separate times) and he said no. One month ago I ask him to meet. He was thinking about it for two weeks and then he agreed. He told me also that he went on a first date with a girl. Well, we met hanged out for 6 hours having fun. The last two hours we started talking about us. He told me that he has told me that he loved me once but he did when I was asleep. He told me he still has feelings for me but that this has gone on too long we tried but it didn;t work and that he would not try again for a long time. I told him that he blamed our relationship for ending his last and he agreed. I told him that I want to try again with a clean slate, a new beginning erasing all the previous feelings and start over and see how it works. He said we don’t have a clean slate yet and it would take some time. I told him I loved him and I will wait for him, He said he doesn’t feel the same but we cannot change that at this moment. I said I hope we try again promise me at least you ll think about it. He said I will for now give it time. The next day he would go on a second date with this girl. I tried to contact him a few times after that ( 5 messages in total in a span of 3 weeks), but he didn’t reply anymore. On the 5th message I just asked him to explain what’s happening, if he hates me or something just give me a reason for all this ignorance. He replied saying is not a good idea to talk anymore, it was already too much for him spending an evening with me, and that the girl that he is dating wasn’t pleased with us meeting so he agreed not to talk to me anymore for a while so I can move on and that he does not want to break his promise. I told him I don’t want you to break any promise, I just hope she ll make you as happy as I would and that you won’t regret treating me like this. Be happy but happy not just comfortable you deserve much more than that always remember that. That was it. 5 days later he blocked me on whatsapp and deleted me form fb. Can anyone understand this? because I sure cannot. What did I do to him and he acts this way. Can I still get him back ? ( now is been a month that he has blocked me)

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 4, 2018 at 9:10 pm

      Hi Helen!

      It can be hard to make sense of a lot of breakup actions by our exes. What you want is an ex recovery plan. Go visit my home page and check out the tools and resources available to you there to learn more about my program.

  12. qs

    August 27, 2018 at 5:44 pm

    Hi there, so I’ve been involved with my co-worker. Since the beginning, I’ve been a third party then he ended things with his girlfriend. Then he said that we were just fuck buddies. Then he said that he wants to date other people cos we’re not exclusive. Now, he’s going out a lot with this one girl and he’s ignoring my messages. I see him everyday at work and we barely speak now. How do I intiate the no contact rule when I have to speak to him because of work?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 28, 2018 at 9:56 pm

      Hi QS!

      That was a rather rude and crude thing for him to say in characterizing the relationship. He seems to want everything his way. Limit your contact with him at work seems like a reasonable approach. Then NC the rest of the time. And use this time during NC to heal and work on doing things for “you”. When you find more emotional balance, Ask yourself later, if this guy is worth investing more time in.

  13. Sam

    August 27, 2018 at 1:50 pm

    My ex an I broke up a month ago and I’ve been doing no contact. However I found out from a friend that he’s doing fine and said he doesn’t regret breaking up as he knew we weren’t meant to be and that he met a new girl (he’s out of the country for the next month) and so they are planning to catch up when he’s back. I really want him back but I don’t know how I can salvage it when he’s desiring this new person 🙁 we never fought and we worked so well together. He’s stubborn and doesn’t think we are suppose to be and I don’t know how to flip that

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 27, 2018 at 3:32 pm

      Hi Sam!

      I hear this a lot. The guy thinks everything is find and has met someone else. But sometimes, appearances can be deceiving and the other girl is a rebound. So we will see in time what happens here. I think using no contact is the right move and doing it in the way I teach in my program will help you the most!

  14. Vanessa

    August 22, 2018 at 11:31 am

    I’m depressed and hopeless, my ex boyfriend and I split out on April, we had a lot of fighting and he hold a negative perception about me. We speak in June after absolute silent treatment from him and he said he need more space to figure out but he left the door open so bring me hope and I put in a waiting mood until August that was the time he said. When August comes he replied very late to my email and I went to face him only to hear he don’t want a relationship with me anymore, that there isn’t hope or nothing I can do for that, and he started to see a new girl two weeks ago that is easy and cold like him with makes him enjoy her company a lot. I made all the mistakes like getting mad, begging, etc. For now he said he keep the offer of only friendship to me but he don’t want to I wait for him. It seems hopeless. I’m hurt as hell. How I can do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 25, 2018 at 12:12 am

      Hi Vanessa….best to focus on yourself and your healing and becoming the best version of yourself. You can do that while in No Contact. I write about this extensively in this site and in my books.

  15. herlyma

    August 6, 2018 at 3:18 pm

    cheated on my ex, made him feel terrible out of anger and now he has gone n he has feelings for another girl. its just 2 weeks now. how do i get him back. cos i have been apologizing and also sent people to beg him too

  16. hayley

    August 5, 2018 at 1:33 am

    Me and my ex had moved into our second house together we had been together 2 years and have a dog together. One night we went to bed besides each other as normal. He got up that morning for work and kissed me goodbye and said he loved me as normal. He then returned from work got all his things and left me. I was completely heart broken never felt pain like it! It’s been just over a month and he has a new girlfriend. He has blocked me off everything social media platform as well as blocking my number. I haven’t heard a single thing from him. I haven’t had any explanation of why he got up and left and I just want him home. Is it a good idea to fight for him or to just leave him be.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 1:58 am

      Hi Halley!

      I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru. I think for the next few weeks, you focus on your own healing. Could it be a rebound, possibly. But you need to focus on your own recovery. Look on my site for examples of things you can do to recover. Later you can assess what you want.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 1:58 am

      Hi Halley!

      I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru. I think for the next few weeks, you focus on your own healing. Could it be a rebound, possibly. But you need to focus on your own recovery. Look on my site for examples of things you can do to recover. Later you can assess what you want.

  17. Gursimran

    August 1, 2018 at 4:04 pm

    Me and my ex were together for 18 months and he got into a new relationship right after breaking up with me. We decided to stay as friends and we do still talk. Sometimes he randomly starts to flirt with me even though he has a girlfriend. I have asked him about her but he denies the fact that he is dating someone. He also made her delete the pictures of them together from her social media and is trying to keep the new relationship on the low. But whenever I mention a new guy to him he gets jealous and starts asking if I’m dating or like that person. I still have a lot of feelings for him and we’ve only been broken up for a month and a half and seeing him with someone else already really hurts. They’re always at each other’s house and just spending time together all the time. It hurts to see that because me and him were in a long distance relationship (about 3 hours away). I just want to know if he has really moved on or will he ever come back because he seems pretty happy with his new life.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 2, 2018 at 3:23 am

      Hi G!

      Hard to know if he has moved on or if this is a rebound. 18 months gives you both some traction and so he may discover that he underappreicated you and you can help him realize that through your ex recovery plan. I have a lot resources like eBooks and other things you can find my site’s home page and encourage to go check it out so you have solid plan going forward.

  18. Destiny

    July 28, 2018 at 7:40 am

    My ex and I dated four years ago. I broke up with him because of personal issues I was having with myself. I want him back so much, but he’s like he’s dating girl after girl. I texted him a few years ago, but he ignored them like he didn’t know who I am. I found out that he broke up with his ex and is now dating someone else. I do want him back, but what can I do? I’ve tried moving on, but my mind always come back to him and him alone.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 29, 2018 at 1:53 am

      Hi Destiny…..first find peace in yourself and know that you can be happy with or without him. Then you will feel empowered. As far as making a connection with him, perhaps trying texting again describing something you did together to trigger a response from him. Maybe he has moved on and if he has, hopefully he would share this with you.

  19. Shae

    May 14, 2018 at 6:56 pm

    I commited the mistake of sexting with my long distance ex…a few times. I need him to see me like something else (he always says that I’m more than my body but…) and I don’t knw how to break this wheel. I did NC and he always ended up texting me but during the last three months we only texted each other (he initiating) 4 times and 3 ended like that (even if he was more affectionate, not enough). I want to be more but I don’t want to scare him and show my cards about wanting him back.
    What can I do for being more than that for him again?

  20. Missraff

    May 8, 2018 at 12:28 pm

    Hi. My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. We had a very strong bond in our relationship. We still spoke during the 2 months and tried to take things slow but then we ended up fighting again. He then blocked me and i left it for about 2 weeks. I then called to tell him to bring my stuff to me he was abit skeptical about bringing it saying he doesnt want to get rid of me so easily but he found someone else. I then found out who she was (he and I were close with her family but he is closer as he works with her aunt)and completely freaked out and demanded he bring my things to me. I was hoping to be strong when I saw him but I completely lost it and begged him to come back. Of course he said no saying he moved on and I have to as well and he doesnt love me anymore(but 3 weeks ago he said he did). He asked if we could be friends at some point but not now. So right now I am working on myself not making contact with him but I really want to get him back. What do I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 8, 2018 at 2:47 pm

      Hi Missraff…remember that people say all kinds of things that are not necessarily true during a breakup. He may be involved with this new girl as a form of a rebound relationship. Time will tell if it gets any traction. It seems to me he still has feelings for you. You will be best positioned by picking up a copy of my comprehensive ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it is aimed at giving you a blueprint as to what you should and should not do (go to my website Menu/Products link). Your own self recovery is critical to this whole process and there are many things you can do to enhance your value in his eyes. So go take a look at some of my ebooks and other resources and services available that will help improve your chances.

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