Why Do Men Come Back After You Ignore Them

At one time or another in their lives every girl has chased a guy only to realize that this drove him away farther.

And, at one time or another, in their lives every girl has stopped giving a men the time of day only to find that he comes crawling back the second she turns away.

I mean I am constantly hearing No Contact Success Stories (If you want to read some just click on this link) that feature these questions:

“Why do guys always come back after you get over them or after they think you’ve moved on?

“Why do guys always come back after they dump you?”

“Why do they always seem to come back when it’s too late?”

What is it about giving them space that makes them come back?”

I know… right now you’re like…

I mean everything in you is telling you to chase him right?

So, what gives?

To women this logic does not make much sense. Women want men to fight for them, they want to feel wanted. So when we break up with a man this is how we tend to react, by making them feel how much we want them.

In fact, we make them feel it so much that we smother them in it and they feel like they can’t escape our love.

No man wants a yo-yo. That is, they don’t want something/someone that comes right back to them every time they throw it/them away. Every time he pushes you away and you force yourself back in it decreases your value and makes you seem a little more desperate.

What Men Want Is The Chase

Men are driven by competitions and this applies to love, as well.

In order to have value you need to make him feel as though he has earned you, make yourself seem like a prize that he needs to work for.

You might ask what is the best way to accomplish this?

And the answer is by ignoring him.

This can be effective in all sorts of different situations. Including recent break ups, new crushes, and yes, even if your Ex was the one who dumped you to begin with.

Yes! It IS possible to get him to come back even after he dumped you.

Let’s talk about what he’s thinking when he realizes you are ignoring him.

If prior to finding the EBR guidelines you had been pestering your Ex, or any love interest for that matter, then they will have grown to expect hearing from you multiple times a day. They may even get some pleasure at ignoring you and watching you get increasingly upset by it.

Imagine with me now…

One day you just stop. You disappear from his notifications with no explanation. It may take him a little while to notice but eventually it’ll dawn on him.

Once he notices he will try to draw you back in.

Phase One: The Investigation

He may start sending little mean-nothing texts. Things like this:

“Hey sorry I didn’t reply yesterday, I was busy.”

“Have you seen my blue shirt anywhere”

“What’s the password to the Netflix?”

“Hey. What’s up?”

“I saw your mom today”

The list goes on and on but what all of these texts have in common is that at the core of them, they mean nothing. Very little thought has gone into them and he doesn’t really care about the conversations that they could start. He is just trying to figure out where you went.

Phase Two: The Reaction

Once he reaches out and hears nothing back from you he will react in some kind of way. This could look different depending on what type of personality your guy has.

Here are a couple of possibilities:

Anger

“Okay, guess you’re ignoring me now. That’s pretty mature”

Jealousy

“Guess you must have moved on now.. Hope you’re happy”

Cluelessness

“Hey.” “Hi” “Hello?” “What’s up?” “How you been”… etc, etc

Fishing For Pity

“Thought I meant enough to you to at least get a text back.. guess not.”

It’s Fine, Everything Is Fine

“You must be pretty busy, that’s good. I’m happy for you. Really”

Panic

“Why aren’t you texting me back?” *Calls 12 times” “HELLO?!”

Mock Silence

“…….” “..??”

Actual Silence:

 

All of these reactions are different but all of them, except possibly the last one, have the same end goal. They are looking for you to react. All of these different responses are playing on your emotions to trick you into responding to him. As your guy tries to process how this change in your behavior affects him, he may send any combination of these texts.

For example:

“Hello.”

“Hi?”

“Okay, guess you’re ignoring me now. That’s pretty mature.”

“….???”

“Thought I meant enough to you to get a text back… guess not…”

“Why aren’t you texting me back?” *Calls twice*

“Fine. Don’t text me back. I don’t want you to anyways.”

As you can see he transitioned from clueless to anger to mock silence to fishing for pity to panic then back to anger again.

These reactionary reach out attempts may come all on the same day, they may come spaced out over the course of many days, or they may not come at all.

Here is a quick example of a message that my Ex sent me during my no contact period. This text was sent towards the end of the no contact period and there were numerous other texts both before and after this one which took the form of every single one of the types listed above.

Important note: This Ex broke up with ME and turned me down multiple times when I asked him to get back together.

If your Ex does not reach out at all do not panic. Some men are more composed than others and some men are just plain stubborn. If he does not reach out it DOES NOT mean that he isn’t thinking about you.

During this period of reaction your guy is starting to wonder what you are up to. He grew so used to having you there whenever he wanted you and now you have taken that away. In a sense men are like little kids… They only want something once you make them realize that they can’t have it anymore, or worse, that someone else might get it.

While you are ignoring your ex, continue to work on yourself and post about it on social media where either he or his sphere of influence (his friends and family) will see it. The happier and healthier that you sees you becoming, the more frustrated he will get that you aren’t giving in to him.

Phase Three: Regret

Once it hits him that you might not care about him anymore he will begin to wonder if losing you is really what he wanted and what was best for him. Feeling like this is going to freak him out.

Men don’t like to feel vulnerable or afraid and once again, he could react to these feelings in a couple of different ways.

He may continue to reach out as if nothing is wrong

After I initiated no contact on my Ex he continued to text me telling me about funny things that happened or about something that our dog had done and did not acknowledge the fact that I was not responding to him. Every now and then he would say something like “I know you are ignoring me but…”

He May Lash Out

If you have ever been ignored by somebody that you care about then you know how frustrating it is. Your Ex may lash out and say some pretty cruel things. Hurtful as it may be it is important not to take them personally and to maintain your calm.

He May Act Out

During my no contact period with my Ex we still lived together. One night I came home and he had drank five or six shots of Jamaican spiced rum and was stumbling around the house. When I continued to ignoring him despite this he grabbed his truck keys and announced that he was going to the store. Fearing that he would get hurt I frantically called several of his close friends and asked them to check in on him. If you find that your Ex is posting on social media about strange things that they have done or if friends tell you that he has been acting odd lately try your best not to react to it. In my situation once my Ex realized that I was still worried about him he stopped showing interest in me again (more on that later)

He May Vanish

I read somewhere once that the best way to protect your heart is to pretend that you don’t have one. Once your Ex realizes that you are ignoring him and that it scares him, he might disappear in order to protect himself.

During all of this time you will not just be ignoring your Ex and obsessing over he reacts to it though, right? RIGHT?!

No, you’ll be working on yourself. Continue to develop your health, wealth, and relationships and don’t be afraid to humbly flaunt your “new you”

If part of your self-development is to go on dates with new men take a tasteful photo of the dinner setting with the guys hand just visible in the corner of the frame. Small gestures such as this will drive your Ex crazy thinking that you are moving on.

But what makes them seem to come back right when you start to move on?

Phase Four: Action

Men are not going to take action until they feel like they have no other choice. It is not until your Ex thinks that he really, truly, is losing you that he will try to stop it.

Now that your Ex has realized you are ignoring him, has realized that his mean-nothing texts aren’t working, and has realized that he is afraid of actually losing you and not getting you back- he will take action.

It may start out small so the important thing is not to get sucked in too quickly. Giving your Ex the satisfaction of knowing that you still care about him after all can undo days and weeks of ignoring. It only takes one small reply, one small slip up for your Ex to realize that he still has you in the palm of his hand.

SIDE NOTE:

The general rule is not to reply to your Ex unless he explicitly asks for you back.

As in, actually says,

“I want you back.”

A second rule is not to reply until your Ex has sent you SEVEN positive reach out text. Positive. Not neutral. These are texts like:

“I miss you.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about you.”

“You look beautiful in that new picture you posted”

One or two of these types of messages is not enough. There needs to be at least seven to show consistency.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

What You Should Take Away From This Article

Now where were we…

In the beginning of this article we mentioned how men like competition. What men do not like is when they lose a prize that they wanted or when someone else seems to be winning.

They love a competition but they hate to lose.

Treat yourself like a prize and your ex will see you that way too.

If you have stuck to your no contact successfully and have been working on your health, wealth, and relationships then your Ex is going to be thinking that he has lost you and this will lead him to take action and reach out to ask you back. Just like my Ex did here:

This is a man who swore up and down that he could not handle the stress of a relationship.

He said over and over that he “needed” to be single.

And yet, thirty days of silence resulted in this text.

Looking back on this conversation now, I wish that I had not responded to his text quite as quickly as I did but I got the reaction to the No Contact period that I was hoping for.

A final important thing to note is that, like we mentioned, some men are more stubborn than others. Just because your Ex does not reach out first means nothing.

Going back to the competition reference, giving in to you and contacting you first would be a sign of weakness to your ex and may be seen as “losing”.

If after the no contact period you have not heard from your Ex, reach out to him yourself and start the texting phase of the no contact process. Follow The Texting Bible guidelines and try not to come on too strong.

In the meantime, here is a video that covers the things you should DEFINITELY avoid going forward.

 

 

Alright, so now that you have all of the information to understand WHAT makes your ex come back. I want to hear about your specific situation.

In the comments below tell me:

  1. About your breakup? Do you know the underlying cause?
  2. What actions have you taken? Have you made any of the Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Trying To Get An Ex Back?
  3. After Reading this article, and (hopefully) the rest of the EBR Material, what do you plan on doing moving forward?

Once you give us this information, our experts will help you figure out what the next best step is for you personally.

Let’s go!

		

Written by EBR Teamate

Shannon

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115 Comments on "Why Do Men Come Back After You Ignore Them"

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Ioana
Guest
Hi! We were together for 1 year and and we had a fight about him talking to other girls on instagram. I told him that it is not what I want and we should go our separate ways. He promised to not do it again and he insisted to be together, wanted to kiss me and hug me and said he loved me. But I insisted to break up. I was angry. However, the next day I said I gave it a thought and we should go on with our relationship. But he said “maybe you are right.. we should… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Hi Loana…perhaps he is testing you and is still “smarting” from the breakup you initiated. Sometimes it takes a while for those resentments to wash away. I think you have done a lot of good things thus far. Stay the course and remember not to rush things. Just as my ebooks talk about, you want to continue to build value in yourself and let the attraction build slowly such that he is making more of the little moves.

Ioana
Guest

Thank you for your answer!

Chris Seiter
Admin

Your welcome Ioana…let me know how it goes for you and check out any of the resources I have here at the website if you need further assistance!

Sarah
Guest

Temporary place*

Sarah
Guest
Hi everyone, I was in a relationship with my ex for 5 months after 3 months dating. We went to travel together and I moved in to his place as a permanent living place for 3 months because something wrong with my rental contract. We were all fine and happy and we never even had one argument. After that one day he suddenly told me he has to breakup with me because he felt we went to fast and he felt trapped. So we broke up but he kept sending me messages everyday. I replied but with a neutral tone.… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Hi Sarah! Thanks for stopping by. You would really benefit by having a Companion Guide….sort of a blueprint to help you through this breakup process as it is indeed a process of dealing with your own emotions and tactically what you can do (e.g. No Contact). So check into my ebook (website Menu/Products) to learn more about some of different resources available. I think there is upside here. He is probably going through a little angry stage about being deleted, but obviously he is the instigator of the relationship breaking up.

Sarah
Guest

Hi Chris, thank you for your reply. I’m reading your book and trying to implement no contact rule right now. And you are absolutely right about he is the instigator of the breakup. Does this mean there’s no chance to get him back and he made his decision already?

Chris Seiter
Admin

Oh no, Sarah. Just because he initiated the breakup doesn’t always mean things are doomed. People do all sorts of things everyday that are against their best interests. Emotions can get in our way. Our judgement can change over time. There are endless variables that control the knobs that tune our emotions, needs, wants.

Daniella Liranzo
Guest
Hi everyone, I was in a long distance relationship with my ex for a year and 3 months and he broke up with me about a month ago. He said he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted. He says at times he felt like he wanted to be with me and was super happy with me and he had other times that he would wake up and feel like he just wanted to be alone and I guess single ? It hurt him a lot to let me go because him and I never argued everything was going… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Hi Daniella…it seems you are in the throes of a breakup situation and it certainly can turn and twist you inside out. Consider taking a look at my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. It is designed to provide folks like yourself a comprehensive blueprint on what to do given lots of situations. You can learn more about it in Product Section of my website Menu.

Daniella Liranzo
Guest

I already purchased your texting bible I’m still reading that but I wanted a guess another persons expert perspective on what they believe is happening during this time of no contact or if he will even realize that he’s making a mistake. Idk what to do, thanks for the fast reply I really appreciate it.

Chris Seiter
Admin
Daniella…thanks for dropping by! Yes, the book is comprehensive and covers a lot of topics. There is a psychology at work behind the No Contact Period. Both for you and him. You want raise yourself up, set goals, improve your confidence and gain a greater perspective of what is truly important in your life. For the guy, it facilitates a process in which he will slowly begin to appreciate you and value you. Some of the fun and fulfilling things you did together come to his mind. Some men realize they erred. They can start to miss you. Others don’t… Read more »
Ineke
Guest
Hi, my ex and I were together for a year and a half. We are both in our first your of college and he is more the hard partyer kind of person. At firtst he broke up with me because he was having doubts about us, but still telling me it was possible to work it out, telling me he was cryig over the valentine letters I wrote him last year and saying over text he wanted to kiss me when I dropt his stuff of. After a week not talking to eachother he told me he just wasn’t ready… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Hey there, so first off I want to apologize for being a bit late to get back to you.

It’s a bit hectic getting everything done by yourself!

Hopefully you understand.

I have a hard time buying that he will just forget you. If anything it looks like he is looking for ways to not deal with the pain of thinking of you.

Ivette
Guest
Hi so, here’s my story… We’ve been together for 15 months, today I saw he was talking to another woman for over a couple of week and he send her kisses, I confronted him about it and said he wasn’t sure about what he wanted to do with his life, including he didn’t knew if he still wanted to be with me. He asked me what I wanted and said “I want to be with you but I don’t want to be with someone that’s isn’t sure about being with me”. Anyways, when I left his house I hugged him… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ivette,

I think it’s a grass is greener case and check the link below too:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

Ivette
Guest
Hi so, here’s my story… We’ve been together for 15 months, today I saw he was talking to another woman for over a couple of week and he send her kisses, I confronted him about it and said he wasn’t sure about what he wanted to do with his life, including he didn’t knew if he still wanted to be with me. He asked me what I wanted and said “I want to be with you but I don’t want to be with someone that’s isn’t sure about being with me”. Anyways, when I left his house I hugged him… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ivette,

I think it’s a grass is greener case and check the link below too:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

6years
Guest
Hello, I have been reading up on this website a lot lately! My ex and I were together for almost 6 years. We did two years home together two years long distance when I went to college and he was home working and now have been up at school(he came here to try to get in to the university and finally did it this last fall, his first semester of college and joined a fraternity, we are both 23…) and living together. When we came back this spring semester he started to act distant. He said he wanted to take… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

He’s right that you should be happy without him.. The nc rule is more for you, not for a guy to comeback.. Do nc so you can think and be more rational and to improve yourself and to heal..

6years
Guest
Hello, I have been reading up on this website a lot lately! My ex and I were together for almost 6 years. We did two years home together two years long distance when I went to college and he was home working and now have been up at school(he came here to try to get in to the university and finally did it this last fall, his first semester of college and joined a fraternity, we are both 23…) and living together. When we came back this spring semester he started to act distant. He said he wanted to take… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

He’s right that you should be happy without him.. The nc rule is more for you, not for a guy to comeback.. Do nc so you can think and be more rational and to improve yourself and to heal..

Ellie Wrake
Guest
I started talking to this guy— [he asked me for my number, and pursued me]and were going perfectly fine. About three weeks in he told me that he had something to tell me but he was REALLY nervous that I’d be sad and upset and cut things off w us. NEWS: a girl from the past states that she’s pregnant and the baby is his. He says he doesn’t believe it’s his but he doesn’t want to tell her that in case it is, and that he doesn’t want to be w her if it is true, but he does… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ellie,

They’ve been together for 3 years, but you and him have been seeing each other for month right? When did they broke up? And if you’re doing the nc rule, that means you can’t watch his snaps.

Lu
Guest
My ex boyfriend broke up with me 4 weeks ago and said he can’t do it anymore the stress is too much, first he said he wanted a break then cos I pesterd he ended it. He says I argue with him too much, says he’s happy on his own now. But I begged for 3 weeks and he rejected me every time. He’s usually a really sensitive guy and cries all the time. He got really angry at one point said he doesn’t love or care for me and there’s no relationship left but he did cry whilst he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lu,

Yes, I think there’s still a chance.. Have you tried our quiz?

Ellie Wrake
Guest
I started talking to this guy— [he asked me for my number, and pursued me]and were going perfectly fine. About three weeks in he told me that he had something to tell me but he was REALLY nervous that I’d be sad and upset and cut things off w us. NEWS: a girl from the past states that she’s pregnant and the baby is his. He says he doesn’t believe it’s his but he doesn’t want to tell her that in case it is, and that he doesn’t want to be w her if it is true, but he does… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ellie,

They’ve been together for 3 years, but you and him have been seeing each other for month right? When did they broke up? And if you’re doing the nc rule, that means you can’t watch his snaps.

Lu
Guest
My ex boyfriend broke up with me 4 weeks ago and said he can’t do it anymore the stress is too much, first he said he wanted a break then cos I pesterd he ended it. He says I argue with him too much, says he’s happy on his own now. But I begged for 3 weeks and he rejected me every time. He’s usually a really sensitive guy and cries all the time. He got really angry at one point said he doesn’t love or care for me and there’s no relationship left but he did cry whilst he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lu,

Yes, I think there’s still a chance.. Have you tried our quiz?

Anne
Guest

what if u just block him?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anne,

You can unblock him, just dont add him back yet if you’re doing nc

Anne
Guest

what if u just block him?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anne,

You can unblock him, just dont add him back yet if you’re doing nc

samantha
Guest
firs of all sorry for my english… after break up he called me every time when he was drunk and he said he loved me but we could not be togwther ….I complished my no contact and after 2 month I dont say happy bithday and he called me on his bithday night to hear from me best wishes, after no contact i reach out and he was glad he said wanted to try again and started from new we were together 1.5 month everything was ok but ones i guess that he met one girl after that i ask… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Samantha,

YOu mean you were back together for more than a month and then he left you for another girl?

samantha
Guest
firs of all sorry for my english… after break up he called me every time when he was drunk and he said he loved me but we could not be togwther ….I complished my no contact and after 2 month I dont say happy bithday and he called me on his bithday night to hear from me best wishes, after no contact i reach out and he was glad he said wanted to try again and started from new we were together 1.5 month everything was ok but ones i guess that he met one girl after that i ask… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Samantha,

YOu mean you were back together for more than a month and then he left you for another girl?

Sarah Holloway
Guest

Thanks Amor, the thing is I haven’t seen him in three weeks and it seems he just now doesn’t want to talk to me. I don’t even know if he’s left me or just needs space as he won’t tell me. I told him when he called that he needs to tell me where I stand, and that he has my front door key but he avoided the subject. One minute he’s texting and the next he’s ignoring me. I just don’t know what to do 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that means he’s starting to ghost you because the relationship is going to fast for him.. Follow the advice on this one:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

Sarah Holloway
Guest

Thanks Amor, the thing is I haven’t seen him in three weeks and it seems he just now doesn’t want to talk to me. I don’t even know if he’s left me or just needs space as he won’t tell me. I told him when he called that he needs to tell me where I stand, and that he has my front door key but he avoided the subject. One minute he’s texting and the next he’s ignoring me. I just don’t know what to do 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that means he’s starting to ghost you because the relationship is going to fast for him.. Follow the advice on this one:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

Sarah Holloway
Guest
In all honesty I don’t know what’s going on with me and my ‘boyfriend’ we met 3 months ago and were inseparable, we have absolutely everything in common and always joked that we were the male/female version of each other. He spent a lot of time at mine and met my kids and even my parents. He was the first one to say I Love You, and we even talked about him moving in later this year. Whenever he came over he said he felt like he was ‘home’ and was alway so excited to see me. We were planning… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sarah,
The relationship is moving too fast for him.
check this one:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

Sarah Holloway
Guest
In all honesty I don’t know what’s going on with me and my ‘boyfriend’ we met 3 months ago and were inseparable, we have absolutely everything in common and always joked that we were the male/female version of each other. He spent a lot of time at mine and met my kids and even my parents. He was the first one to say I Love You, and we even talked about him moving in later this year. Whenever he came over he said he felt like he was ‘home’ and was alway so excited to see me. We were planning… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sarah,
The relationship is moving too fast for him.
check this one:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

Lauren
Guest

Thanks Amor :). Hopefully these girls aren’t going to be serious with him especially as he’s still texting me and me not responding might make him try harder.

Sofia
Guest
This is my situation currently. My boyfriend of five months broke up with me a week ago, and I haven’t text him back or snapchatted him back for the past five days. He wants to stay friends and every night, around 1:30 AM he snapchats me or texts me jokes and pictures, but I don’t respond. I love him and desperately want him back. We broke up due to a build up of arguments and finally one pushed him over the edge. He swore I was “the one” and loved me dearly, but now it seems that is all gone… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sofia,

That’s good that you’re not replying to him. Stick to nc.. Finish the process and be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media but do more of posts that just stays there and doesn’t disappear after 24 hours.

Lauren
Guest

Thanks Amor :). Hopefully these girls aren’t going to be serious with him especially as he’s still texting me and me not responding might make him try harder.

Sofia
Guest
This is my situation currently. My boyfriend of five months broke up with me a week ago, and I haven’t text him back or snapchatted him back for the past five days. He wants to stay friends and every night, around 1:30 AM he snapchats me or texts me jokes and pictures, but I don’t respond. I love him and desperately want him back. We broke up due to a build up of arguments and finally one pushed him over the edge. He swore I was “the one” and loved me dearly, but now it seems that is all gone… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sofia,

That’s good that you’re not replying to him. Stick to nc.. Finish the process and be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media but do more of posts that just stays there and doesn’t disappear after 24 hours.

Lauren
Guest
This is my situation right now. I was seeing this guy long distance for 6 months (we met on holiday) we weren’t official & I was dating others and so was he (he’s a 32 commitment phobe/ player & never had a relationship). However we would talk every day and we saw each other 3 times in the space of 4 months. However a week ago he told me he was only dating a couple of girls and he was maybe going to get serious with one eventually. I asked whether it was because I was in a different country.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lauren,

It’s because he’s used to talking to you and he probably expects you not to hold out on ignoring him.. Check this one:
How To Make A Long Distance Ex Commit

Lauren
Guest
This is my situation right now. I was seeing this guy long distance for 6 months (we met on holiday) we weren’t official & I was dating others and so was he (he’s a 32 commitment phobe/ player & never had a relationship). However we would talk every day and we saw each other 3 times in the space of 4 months. However a week ago he told me he was only dating a couple of girls and he was maybe going to get serious with one eventually. I asked whether it was because I was in a different country.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lauren,

It’s because he’s used to talking to you and he probably expects you not to hold out on ignoring him.. Check this one:
How To Make A Long Distance Ex Commit

Erica
Guest
We had been together for a year and a half. Things seemed perfect! We have a baby on the way and at 7 months he told me he needed space… we were supposed to be getting married so of course I was so emotional, said things I didn’t mean, heart broken. Now he says he won’t get back with me after the things i said that he would never forget! We have been broken up for a month. I can go a week without talking to him, then we end up talking and I’ll end up super emotional all over… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Erica,

Frankly, your chances keep getting slimmer if you keep being emotional with him. It may be because your pregnant but that’s the truth is he doesn’t see it that way. If he’s tired of fighting with you or he sees you negatively, if you keep doing that, then it just makes him really believe that you’re not going to change.

Erica
Guest
We had been together for a year and a half. Things seemed perfect! We have a baby on the way and at 7 months he told me he needed space… we were supposed to be getting married so of course I was so emotional, said things I didn’t mean, heart broken. Now he says he won’t get back with me after the things i said that he would never forget! We have been broken up for a month. I can go a week without talking to him, then we end up talking and I’ll end up super emotional all over… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Erica,

Frankly, your chances keep getting slimmer if you keep being emotional with him. It may be because your pregnant but that’s the truth is he doesn’t see it that way. If he’s tired of fighting with you or he sees you negatively, if you keep doing that, then it just makes him really believe that you’re not going to change.

Nina
Guest
Hi, We were 4 years together, but we broke up 2,5 weeks ago. We still didn’t remove our relationship status on Facebook: I hide it from others, but it’s still visible to him (as I can hear from our best friend) and he didn’t hide it at all. I’m in no contact rule the whole time. I’m really hoping that we can come back together. I broke up with words, but actually he broke up first, but with completely ignoring me for a month, without saying what’s wrong and what he needs and wants with us. When he finally reached… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nina,

It would be better to just leave the status on and don’t send that message. Don’t ask to be friends, act friendly.

Nina
Guest
Hi, We were 4 years together, but we broke up 2,5 weeks ago. We still didn’t remove our relationship status on Facebook: I hide it from others, but it’s still visible to him (as I can hear from our best friend) and he didn’t hide it at all. I’m in no contact rule the whole time. I’m really hoping that we can come back together. I broke up with words, but actually he broke up first, but with completely ignoring me for a month, without saying what’s wrong and what he needs and wants with us. When he finally reached… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nina,

It would be better to just leave the status on and don’t send that message. Don’t ask to be friends, act friendly.

m
Guest
Last year I had cancer and I cured (so far, so good, at least) and I am trying to do my best to chase all the negative thoughts away. I just don’t seem to be able to do it alone anymore. I had a 3,5 months affair with a married man (I am single) and it has been an amazing connection, the kind true love has. I’m 37 years old and I’ve never felt this way about anybody. I never had this urge to be kind. It’s a very weird feeling, I can’t explain it. It seems that both of… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi M,

I can’t say I understand because I don’t have cancer and I’m not here to judge but for me, you should move on from him, you’ve survived cancer, but he’s more like the cancer in your life than the real cancer you over came. Be with quality people that value you. You’re renewed use it make new connections. It doesn’t have to be romantic, start with making quality friendship in the circle of your passion.

m
Guest
Last year I had cancer and I cured (so far, so good, at least) and I am trying to do my best to chase all the negative thoughts away. I just don’t seem to be able to do it alone anymore. I had a 3,5 months affair with a married man (I am single) and it has been an amazing connection, the kind true love has. I’m 37 years old and I’ve never felt this way about anybody. I never had this urge to be kind. It’s a very weird feeling, I can’t explain it. It seems that both of… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi M,

I can’t say I understand because I don’t have cancer and I’m not here to judge but for me, you should move on from him, you’ve survived cancer, but he’s more like the cancer in your life than the real cancer you over came. Be with quality people that value you. You’re renewed use it make new connections. It doesn’t have to be romantic, start with making quality friendship in the circle of your passion.

m
Guest
Last year I had cancer and I cured (so far, so good, at least) and I am trying to do my best to chase all the negative thoughts away. I just don’t seem to be able to do it alone anymore. I had a 3,5 months affair with a married man (I am single) and it has been an amazing connection, the kind true love has. I’m 37 years old and I’ve never felt this way about anybody. I never had this urge to be kind. It’s a very weird feeling, I can’t explain it. It seems that both of… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi M,

I can’t say I understand because I don’t have cancer and I’m not here to judge but for me, you should move on from him, you’ve survived cancer, but he’s more like the cancer in your life than the real cancer you over came. Be with quality people that value you. You’re renewed use it make new connections. It doesn’t have to be romantic, start with making quality friendship in the circle of your passion.

m
Guest
Last year I had cancer and I cured (so far, so good, at least) and I am trying to do my best to chase all the negative thoughts away. I just don’t seem to be able to do it alone anymore. I had a 3,5 months affair with a married man (I am single) and it has been an amazing connection, the kind true love has. I’m 37 years old and I’ve never felt this way about anybody. I never had this urge to be kind. It’s a very weird feeling, I can’t explain it. It seems that both of… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi M,

I can’t say I understand because I don’t have cancer and I’m not here to judge but for me, you should move on from him, you’ve survived cancer, but he’s more like the cancer in your life than the real cancer you over came. Be with quality people that value you. You’re renewed use it make new connections. It doesn’t have to be romantic, start with making quality friendship in the circle of your passion.

Valery
Guest

My ex and I have been on and off for two years. We love each other but we’ve always argued. Everytime he wants to get back with me I am sweet to him and take him back, this time we didn’t talk for a month and he texted me again wishing me well so I replied but took my time. Now he’s texting me good mornings, should I reply or wait a bit again to reply?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Valery
Guest

My ex and I have been on and off for two years. We love each other but we’ve always argued. Everytime he wants to get back with me I am sweet to him and take him back, this time we didn’t talk for a month and he texted me again wishing me well so I replied but took my time. Now he’s texting me good mornings, should I reply or wait a bit again to reply?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
JuneVera
Guest
We have been in a relationship for 6 years, and last month July, he proposed. So we are engaged to be married in three weeks. It’s a long distance relationship and we haven’t seen in the last 9 months. He is coming down for the wedding and i am doing most of the planning. Truth is that i have been stressed and very sensitive lately. He picked on it and texted to say that he’s struggling to adjust mentally and emotionally in the relationship and that i have been rude and insulting on some occasions. He says it seems I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi June Vera,

Just give him space for now.. If after a week or two he still decides to cancel the wedding, then tell hin he should be the one to announce to friends and family that the wedding is off and then start the nc rule..

JuneVera
Guest
We have been in a relationship for 6 years, and last month July, he proposed. So we are engaged to be married in three weeks. It’s a long distance relationship and we haven’t seen in the last 9 months. He is coming down for the wedding and i am doing most of the planning. Truth is that i have been stressed and very sensitive lately. He picked on it and texted to say that he’s struggling to adjust mentally and emotionally in the relationship and that i have been rude and insulting on some occasions. He says it seems I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi June Vera,

Just give him space for now.. If after a week or two he still decides to cancel the wedding, then tell hin he should be the one to announce to friends and family that the wedding is off and then start the nc rule..

Angelina
Guest
Me n my ex were dng good till now we were in long distance relationship he used come here after 3 4 months to meet me wenever it is possible we used make up for meeting in person it was 2 n half year relation tym managment issues were there hewantable to make up tym as he used to get tired alot this prob was continuos till 1 year until suddenly on 11th dec 2017 1month ago he toldme tht hehas been thinking about this frong along tym n he isreally tensed about his career he wanted a break ..… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Yolanda,

That’s probably out of emotions and his way to take back his power.. Yes, you should go to the wedding.. Don’t miss it just because of him

Angelina
Guest
Me n my ex were dng good till now we were in long distance relationship he used come here after 3 4 months to meet me wenever it is possible we used make up for meeting in person it was 2 n half year relation tym managment issues were there hewantable to make up tym as he used to get tired alot this prob was continuos till 1 year until suddenly on 11th dec 2017 1month ago he toldme tht hehas been thinking about this frong along tym n he isreally tensed about his career he wanted a break ..… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Yolanda,

That’s probably out of emotions and his way to take back his power.. Yes, you should go to the wedding.. Don’t miss it just because of him

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Sorry, I’m not sure where you are, so I’ll assume mid year last year? If yes, that’s so long ago..so, at least now that you are in limited contact, focus in establishing your new routine and having your own life while co parenting with him.. He has to think you’re moving on, not chasing and improving..

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Sorry, I’m not sure where you are, so I’ll assume mid year last year? If yes, that’s so long ago..so, at least now that you are in limited contact, focus in establishing your new routine and having your own life while co parenting with him.. He has to think you’re moving on, not chasing and improving..

Russell
Guest
Hi My partner and I broke up 5 weeks ago after our 2.5 year relationship, I was dumped by him just before Christmas. 2 months before that he told me he wasn’t sure about how things were going in our relationship and then we both agreed we would try again. This is also he’s first relationship, I’m 39 and he’s 28. We never really spoke any our problems and just carried on as normal, our relationship wasn’t toxic nor did we argue that much. He went away to Istanbul (he’s Turkish) and I was supposed to be going with him… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Russel,

Yes, you can start the nc from Sunday. It’s ok to talk to him about necessary stuff like bills as long as it’s only about that.

Russell
Guest
Hi My partner and I broke up 5 weeks ago after our 2.5 year relationship, I was dumped by him just before Christmas. 2 months before that he told me he wasn’t sure about how things were going in our relationship and then we both agreed we would try again. This is also he’s first relationship, I’m 39 and he’s 28. We never really spoke any our problems and just carried on as normal, our relationship wasn’t toxic nor did we argue that much. He went away to Istanbul (he’s Turkish) and I was supposed to be going with him… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Russel,

Yes, you can start the nc from Sunday. It’s ok to talk to him about necessary stuff like bills as long as it’s only about that.

Jen
Guest
My ex broke up with me exactly 2 weeks ago,today! We were having a heated argument(mainly bc i love to argue) i screamed at him several times sayimg “just leave” finally he said okay amd packed up EVERYTHING and has been staying at his mothers since! Approximately 2 weeks prior the breakup we did have a long talk about how he was not happy with me anymore but he still loved me! We havent slept together, well we did once in the last 3 months….. Anyways, i want to start the NC asap(well i have today is day 1) but… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Jen
Guest
My ex broke up with me exactly 2 weeks ago,today! We were having a heated argument(mainly bc i love to argue) i screamed at him several times sayimg “just leave” finally he said okay amd packed up EVERYTHING and has been staying at his mothers since! Approximately 2 weeks prior the breakup we did have a long talk about how he was not happy with me anymore but he still loved me! We havent slept together, well we did once in the last 3 months….. Anyways, i want to start the NC asap(well i have today is day 1) but… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Bea
Guest
Hi, My ex broke up with me a couple of years ago. We have kids together and kept on living together for the first 5 months or so before we told the kids and he moved out. Some months later, he lost his job and moved abroad for work. Since the split, we have kept on being in touch, gone on holidays together with the kids and get on quite well. I was very upset for a long while, and probably did all the wrong things, but feel much calmer lately and in a good space. I have told him… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bea,

when did you tell him that?

Bea
Guest
Hi, My ex broke up with me a couple of years ago. We have kids together and kept on living together for the first 5 months or so before we told the kids and he moved out. Some months later, he lost his job and moved abroad for work. Since the split, we have kept on being in touch, gone on holidays together with the kids and get on quite well. I was very upset for a long while, and probably did all the wrong things, but feel much calmer lately and in a good space. I have told him… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bea,

when did you tell him that?

Sabby
Guest
Hello, My ex and I have broken up before. We were together for over a year and split for 5 months. We got back together but didn’t really discuss what went wrong. He suffers from depression but is not willing admit it, instead he just assumed I was the issue. The second time around we were together for another 6 months. He ended things again saying it was because he hasn’t felt quite the same but I believe it’s his mental health. It’s been a month since. We work together so I can’t cut contact altogether but we are civil… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor