By Chris Seiter

Updated on May 6th, 2019

Lately, I’ve had a lot of women coming to me and asking if they can use Facebook in any way to get back with their exes. I will admit that when I did all the research for this site it never occurred to me to dive that deep into the ex recovery process.  I did think about it but I never really thought it was important enough to research.

Boy, was I wrong.

According to a recent study conducted by a Western University student completing her Master’s thesis nearly 9 out of 10 Facebook users keep an eye on their exes profiles. Let’s take a step back for a moment. That means that literally 90% of Facebook is obsessed with cyber stalking their exes.

What This Page Is About

I wanted to create a page on how you could best optimize your Facebook profile to give yourself the best chance to get your ex boyfriend back. Since I am a guy I have a pretty good idea on what the perfect Facebook profile should look like to give yourself the best chance to reignite your exes feelings and ultimately get your ex boyfriend to come back to you.

However, I do feel it is important to mention that while I think I am a pretty good indicator of the “average” male I would be a fool to not point out that some guys have completely different tastes than I do. So, don’t be offended if you try out the tactics on this page and they don’t work. There are still a lot of things you can do to improve your chances of getting your boyfriend back.

Speaking of getting your boyfriend back,

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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What About That Rare 1 out of 10 Who Isn’t A Stalker?


In this section I am going to talk about some of the things you can do to improve the chances of your ex stopping by your profile. Unless you completely skipped the first few paragraphs of this page then you know that there is pretty much a 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is stalking your profile ;). So, the chances are already good that his eyes are on your page. However, by doing the things below you will raise those odds even more:

Do not contact him via Facebook- Not only could this be viewed as desperate but as you are about to find out, actually not contacting your ex is a smarter strategy.

Do not unfriend him- I hear from women far too often who are contemplating unfriending their ex, because “it hurts too much.” I can understand why it hurts to see him. However, you need to start looking at Facebook as a tool that can be used to further your chances of getting him to have those romantic feelings towards you again.

Implement A No Contact Rule- I actually recommend doing this in almost every situation to get your ex back. One of the many reasons it is so effective is that it makes your ex go a little crazy. When it is really working you can bet that he will try anything to get a hold of you. I have heard stories of exes getting family members phones to get a hold of you, showing up at doorsteps and even spamming your FACEBOOK!

The Importance Of A No Contact Rule To Your Facebook

(If you need more explanation of how the No Contact Rule works into Facebook please read my system.)


So, I want to take a moment now and discuss how important the no contact rule can be to your Facebook efforts. Obviously, the no contact rule is exactly what it sounds like, having no contact with your ex boyfriend for a set amount of time (usually 30 days.) The question is, why is it so important when it comes to Facebook?

Well, to answer that we have to back up a little bit and go inside the mind of a guy.

Lets pretend that you and I used to date. Unfortunately, we broke up and now you want me back. Your first order of business is to implement a no contact rule. Around day 12 I decide to check up on you via a text message. I am eagerly waiting a response… but I don’t get one. Slowly but surely I am starting to get frustrated and a bit angry. I decide to text you again, “surely this time she will respond.” Only you don’t. Ok, now I am angry. After I am done with my initial rant I decide to log onto Facebook to see if you are still alive.

Ok, let’s hit the pause button here for a second and dissect what you have done.

By essentially ignoring your ex boyfriends texts, you have forced him to come over to Facebook and check your profile out. You have him right where you want him. The focus now becomes, what you should have been doing during your NC period.

What You NEED To Do During No Contact

I am going to be extremely harsh now. Men are very visual creatures. We often will judge a book by it’s cover before reading the actual book. I know that it is unfortunate to hear but it is the truth. There have been a lot of times that I have looked past a girl because she didn’t meet my “looks” requirement. I know that is a horrible thing to say BUT if you truly want to get your ex boyfriend back this is something you absolutely need to understand. Guys can often be cruel with their thoughts about how women look (if they aren’t at their best.) Your ex boyfriend may have gotten tired of the way you looked and it contributed to the breakup.

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positive changesYou can often hear this from guys:

“She is just a little too pudgy.”

“She never gets dressed up for me anymore.”

“She never cares about attracting me anymore.”

“She has gained 60lbs since we have been together…”

During no contact I want you to focus on two big things. Figuring out how to become the sexiest version of yourself that ever existed and NOT contacting your ex no matter what. The second thing is pretty self explanatory but lets take a moment to focus on what you can do physically to become an uber hottie!

  • Cleaning up any skin problems you may have (acne)
  • Losing weight (sometimes this may require you to lose a significant amount.)
  • Updating your wardrobe.
  • Getting a haircut.
  • Looking your best… always!

The key point I am trying to make here is that your Facebook profile is a reflection of you. So, when he stops by I don’t want him going “Oh, same ol’ same ol” I want him to go “OH MY GOD, she looks amazing!”

Deconstructing The Perfect Facebook Profile


I am going to be completely honest with you, using Facebook to get your ex back isn’t ideal. I could give you all the rules about how to approach the situation but it isn’t ideal. So, from this point on I am going to be defining how your Facebook profile should look like to him when he comes stopping by. That is really the most powerful thing that Facebook can do for you, paint you in the best light possible. If you are interested in a truly in-depth method to getting him back then I suggest you visit this page and this page.

So, what does the perfect Facebook profile look like?

Well, I suppose that everyone has a different perspective when it comes to a “perfect profile.” It’s that whole eye of the beholder thing. Nevertheless, I like to think that I am a pretty good indicator of the average guy (or in this case your ex boyfriend.) I decided that the best way to approach this was to go through the friends on my personal Facebook profile and jot down some of the women that stood out to me. Now, here is the criteria I looked at:

  • Her profile picture had to be appealing.
  • Her cover photo had to be interesting.
  • Her profile really had to catch my attention.
  • The girl had to have multiple guys commenting on her wall.
  • She had to have a minimum of 500 friends.
  • She had to have a minimum of 30 pictures.
  • She had to be single.

Here is the deal, if I find the girls I chose to be attractive then you can bet your ex boyfriends would be as well. My goal is for you to take the information I provide here and “pimp out” your profile. I want your profile to not only make your ex go “WOW” but I want other guys to give you the attention you deserve! I am looking for trends here. So, if a lot of the attractive women I chose did something then you should probably do it too.

I ended up choosing 20 women, I will not be giving you their names though so don’t go fishing around here because you will be disappointed.

The Profile Picture

I am starting with the most important section of the Facebook profile first. I don’t think it takes a genius to recognize how important your profile picture is to catching someones attention. Without a doubt, all the women I chose for this case study had excellent profile pictures. The big thing I began to realize right off the bat was how important it is for you to take a close up of your face. The thing that caught my eye the most was women who had the confidence to look at the camera for a close up. Let me give you an example of what I am talking about:

(Disclaimer- I did not choose any photos from the women I did the case study on. These are pictures I found on the internet doing random searches.)

Good Profile Picture

good profile picture

 Now, I know what you are thinking, “that woman is a model, I can’t take a picture like that..” Your wrong! When I go through my friends pictures there were some women who had profile pictures that rivaled this one. Let this be a lesson, women who went the extra mile with their profile picture will catch a mans attention.

Also, I want you to notice that whoever took this picture caught the sun perfectly to give it a sort of “too beautiful to be real” look. As I go back I count three women who I chose for this case study who employed that very method. Interestingly, those were the three women who I voted as having the best profile pictures (HINT HINT.)

It might also be helpful for me to explain some of the things that turned me off of including some women on the “list.” If they had a profile picture of them with their friends, if they had other guys in the picture or if were drinking alcohol I did not want to include them because it lowered their value in my eyes.

Key Takeaways:

  • Make sure you profile pic is tastefully done and it is a closeup of your face.
  • Aim to have a “too beautiful to be real” type of look.
  • Avoid taking a picture of you with friends, other guys or drinking alcohol.

(Funny Fact- The profile picture on my profile is atrocious. I should really take my own advice 😉 .)

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Cover Photos, Do They Matter?

Yes and no. Most guys will tell you that they don’t matter. In fact, when I was pre-writing this page I almost skipped the cover photo section because I thought it was insignificant. However, my mind changed when I logged on to Facebook and started screening my women friends. Some of them just have horrible cover photos and it reflects really badly on them. Of course, it is like hitting gold when you click on a girl who has a tastefully done profile picture and her cover photo reflects really positively on her. Rather than rambling on and on I am going to give you an example of what I considered a bad cover photo and a good one.

Bad Cover Photo


I actually took this cover photo from one of the women who I did NOT include on the list. Yes, it’s space, its actually kind of pretty but it is a completely missed opportunity. Here is the problem I have with it. This particular photo can not go hand and hand with a profile picture. The girl who had this as her cover photo was actually very pretty. However, not only did she miss on her profile picture but the cover photo made her profile unattractive to look at.

Good Cover Photo

 good cover photo

 This is another example I took from a girl who is on my friends list. While she didn’t have the best profile picture I think she knocked her cover photo out of the ballpark. Yes, it may be a little goofy but her cover photo truly says something, it has meaning. The only missing component for her was that she didn’t find a way to make her great cover photo and her profile picture to work together.

Key Takeaways

  • Cover photos matter more than you think.
  • The best cover photos are ones that work together with your profile picture.
  • You want your cover photo to mean something. Bland images like space aren’t good enough.

Surviving The “Photo” Scan

avoiding spotlight

This is the section where I may get a little…. mean. Guys are the most shallow creatures you will ever meet. I want you to get that through your head. I don’t care how nice a guy is, somewhere, deep down, he is thinking shallow thoughts. This is especially true when it comes to your Facebook photos. Oh, and don’t think that I am immune to the “shallow disease,” I can be just as mean as the rest of them. Let me give you a glimpse into the mind of the average male looking through Facebook.

Rick (our designated male personality) is looking through Facebook. Immediately he sees someone he deems as “hot” and clicks on her profile. Now, most women I speak with think that Rick will read their wall, see if they are single or see how many guys are commenting on their status updates.

Ah, but they forget something that is even more important. Men are very visual oriented so while all that other stuff matters to us the first place we go is to check out your other pictures. The profile picture alone was enough to capture Ricks attention but there is a problem. It seems as if this “hot” girl isn’t so hot anymore. He saw the first picture she had to offer in her album and it did not paint her in the best light. It seems as if this “hot girl” needed to lose some weight. Rick had seen enough, it was time to move on and find the next potential prospect.

I am not kidding when I say that, the mock story I told above (shout out to Rick 😉 ) is exactly how 99% of men operate. I am not afraid to admit that I did exactly that during my scan through my friends. Literally just one bad picture is enough to turn a guy off. However, we are dealing with an ex boyfriend here so are the rules any different?

In my mind, they are not. You want your ex boyfriend to scroll through your pictures and say “God #$%$ why did I ever let her go” not “She looks more horrible than I remember her.” The point I am driving home here is that really the profile picture is just there to show off the “bow” of the present. The rest of your pictures are the rest of the package. You want to make sure that you strut your stuff in the rest of the pictures so to speak.

So, any bad picture that you have, toss it. Any bad picture that you are tagged in, toss it. I want you to look amazing in all of your pictures so by the time your ex comes around his jaw will literally hit the floor.

Key Takeaways:

  • Guys are shallow and will judge you based on one picture.
  • You should look amazing in all of your pictures.

Status Updates & Hurt Feelings


What usually happens after a breakup? Perhaps I should rephrase that, what usually happens to women after a breakup? Well, I am one of the few men that could actually tell you that because I deal with so many women on a daily basis. In my experience this is what the average girl does after a breakup:

  • She cries.
  • Gets overemotional.
  • Texts, emails or calls her ex way too many times.
  • Unintentionally acts so desperate that she totally turns her man off.

Now, here is the scary part. Almost all guys expect this kind of behavior after a breakup. Let me be a little more accurate here since we are discussing Facebook. Almost all guys expect some overemotional status update talking about your “feelings are hurt.” I know that may sound mean but let me tell you a story.

I log on to Facebook pretty much every day and without fail I am greeted by some girl posting about how her now ex boyfriend “hurt her feelings.” Usually these status updates go something like this:

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It sure would be nice to have an escape from my life and the jerks in it.. Even if it is just for one night..

(It literally took me a minute to find that and I literally just grabbed it off my Facebook dashboard in the middle of writing this page)

It is obvious to everyone and their mother that this is a status update about a boy who did this particular girl wrong (probably a boyfriend or an ex.) Of course, this “bad boy” is going to see this update and know immediately that his actions are having an effect on this girl. That is a really bad thing because it means he is in a position of power and he knows that anything he does is going to have a certain amount of sway over this girl.

Why would you even give an ex the satisfaction of knowing that his actions are hurting you? That is just dumb and has no benefit at all to you. I wouldn’t even acknowledge it. The smarter thing to do is use your Facebook updates for interesting and important things.

Speaking of  Facebook status updates..

Repeat After Me- “I Now Have An Active Social Life”

social life

There was one amazing trend that I saw when I did my Facebook study. Each person I picked looked like they had fun and interesting social lives. Think about that for a second, I went out searching for women that I straight up found attractive and each one looked like they were having a blast in their photos with friends. Oh, and just so you know, I am not a hardcore party guy at all. I actually probably need to get out more. Nevertheless, I don’t think it was a mistake that I found women attractive who all looked like they had active social lives.

And since I am the voice of the average male, I think it is safe to say that your ex boyfriends would also find these women and their active social lives attractive as well. This means, if you don’t have an active social life I think it is about time for you to get one.

Now, it is probably important to point out that there is a right way to display your social life and there is a wrong way to.

The Wrong Way

  • Drinking alcohol while dancing/grinding with guys at a club… to most guys this is a total turnoff and it will definitely be to your ex boyfriend.
  • Making out with other guys who aren’t your ex boyfriend.
  • Making out with one of your girl friends. Actually keep that photo up… No I am kidding.

The Right Way

  • A lot of pictures out with your girl friends.
  • Sprinkle in pictures with some of your guy friends (see jealousy in next section.)
  • Taking a photo of the crowded event you are at (a party at Vegas for example.)
  • Photos where you are out on a boat with a group of people and showing off your hot body in a bikini ;).
  • Show you are well traveled by taking pictures of places you have been.

Facebook = Jealous Haven

I saved the best section for last. Now, doing the things outlined in this section are completely optional. People respond differently to jealousy. However, I can tell you that if you use Facebook for jealousy in a tasteful and smart way the results can be tremendous.

I hope by now I have convinced you that the chances are very high that your ex boyfriend will be visiting your profile at some point in the future. So, what if when he stops by he sees you getting cozy with some other guy? Most likely, he will get jealous. The true point of this section is to show you the correct way to take a picture with another guy to:

A. Not completely send your ex boyfriend off the rails with anger.


B. Make him extremely jealous.

Have you ever heard the phrase, less is more? Well, in this case that certainly holds true. It won’t take a lot to make him jealous if he still has feelings for you. However, if you do something like this:

trashy makout

 I think you can pretty much kiss (no pun intended) your chances of getting him back goodbye. Not only is that poor taste but your ex will view you as trashy and once you get that label it is really hard to shake it. Not to mention it is a total turnoff to see some stranger guy macking on your ex. I wouldn’t go back to an ex if she did that right after a breakup.

Instead, you need to shoot for a picture like this:


 Notice how in the picture it is hard to tell if this is a couple or if they are just a couple of friends. You need to aim for something like this. Something that says, I MAY like this guy but he is clearly into me. When your ex sees this picture he won’t be turned off. Instead, he will be angry that another guy is impeding on his woman.

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779 thoughts on “Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. Michele

    October 2, 2020 at 9:26 pm

    Hi Chris. I need yr help. I had a bf 5 years ago. We started talking in dec of 2014.. I blew him of till April of 2015, n than blew him off again til mid May lol I think the chase thing was real on his part (I was driving him insane-when he actually met me he said he felt like he was meeting a celeb lol) than things got a bit serious.. we started seeing each other beginning June of 2015.. it was long distance but I went to him at LEAST 2 overnights a week, sometimes more. All was great n he just broke up w/me via text message saying he had lost feeling/fell outa love w/me yada yada.. this was end of Oct 2015, I replied w/ “Thankyou.” Cuz I felt it coming n right kp what else to say n that was that. He got remarried within 9 months (deleted me off fb at tht point) n divorced from her within 2 years.. I was at the park playing volleyball 1 day w/my daughters right after that, he drives by, sees me, gets out n comes up n talks to me… he texted me later that night n wanted to hang out.. I didn’t cuz I didn’t want feelings to come back.. he kept in touch randomly for abt a lil over a year, texting randomly like “merry xmas”, “Happy Easter” n such… ok so.. he kinda got mad n said if I wanted to hang out w/him I’d make it happen n he stopped texting n I did too.. but b4 that, he did add me on IG.. we were friends there (following each other) for a good 3/4 solid years, liked each other’s stuff.. n he did have a gf but I think thy broke up recently. Anyway, I hav n app tht tells me who unfollows me n I unfollow back, I had posted a pic abt 2 weeks ago on my story (I hardly ever post myself, always my daughters) n I noticed right after that he unfollowed me, so I did the same, made my account private n made a new one (another reason) but still kept the old accnt. Than I noticed he has started a fb page (he hasn’t bn on fb since his divorce after our relationship) n he popped right up under “people u may now” we only 4 friends In common. I’m just wondering how can I get his attention back, Ive never stopped thinking abt this guy.. we were PERFECT for each other, we were both crazy fir each other.. he did try to hang out w/me 2/3 years ago n while I wish I had, I didn’t cuz I didn’t want old feelings to come back n I had a bf at the time. But things aren’t good w/him now (current bf) n this ex is literally on my mind every single day. Idk y. I don’t believe he’s in a relationship, the girl he was with changed her fb from “in a relationship” to “interested in men” he wasn’t tagged cuz he didn’t have fb (however, they are friends on fb now currently since he started one). But no relationship status (I’m not friends w/either.. I just creep to investigate lol) Any suggestions?!?! Should I just forget abt him forever. Idk Wht made him unfriend me after that pic I posted on IG.. I’m always up to par when I post, (I do EVERYTHING u stated) but this one is the 1st pic I EVER posted w/out make up on (my natural self) which he always asked me not to wear make up, he said he liked natural.. I never did, but now I do cuz who has time for that anymore (I still doll up) but I looked fine in that pic.. so that’s rly the only thing that changed. Suggestions, insights, anything appreciated! I can’t get him off my mind!

  2. Becky Beggs

    September 12, 2020 at 11:46 pm

    After 6 years of living together, a week ago he all the sudden just left the house! Just fyi, the house is his as I moved in with him and sold my house. Anyway, after leaving he texted and said he wasn’t coming back! So the next day I did take him a letter I had written, we talked and I cried some and we hugged and both said I love you and I left. I have not talked with him since. Well I decided that night, during our no contact, to start doing things for myself. As a journal type of thing I started making posts in my Facebook regarding my progress… Things like I was exercising, quit smoking, got a job, got my nails done, etc. I would also make inspirational meme posts, so I would uplift my spirits while online and for others. Well, I’ve been doing this about a week and he’s been off and on Facebook this whole time. Well, he was online this morning and then about an hour later I noticed he’d deactivated his account on facebook! I of course panicked and tried to see if it was just me being blocked or he’d turned his off all around. Well he’s just deactivated it for now and it says once reactivated I’m still on his friends list so it was just me. Even in my panick I have not violated the no contact rule. I still have had no interaction with him. What I’m really curious about is why did he deactivate his Facebook account? Am I acquiring the upper hand here? He was the one to break up so originaly he had the upper hand. I don’t know I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on and how to lay my cards right.

  3. Nita

    September 4, 2020 at 9:40 pm

    Please I don’t understand what went wrong in my relationship. All of a sudden he ghosted me after 6months of us being together although it was a long distance relationship. We attempted sex tho but never had it. He mentioned I am insecure and nag alot. I apologized and asked to fix things. I sent him cute message on whatsapp. Till now he views my whatsapp status but doesn’t message or call me. I don’t know if he’s lost interest or replaced me. I just started the no contact rule yesterday after trying to find out what went wrong but then I got no response

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 7, 2020 at 10:07 pm

      What went wrong – the insecurities and the nagging. This caused him to end the relationship he felt it was not worth the effort of the relationship. Work on yourself during your NC and reach out after 30 days

  4. Nesrin

    June 7, 2020 at 12:54 pm

    Hi Chris my boyfriend broke up with me 12 days ago after 4 years long distance relationship I begged for him to give us a chance I lost my appetite and I’m just crying for days I sacrificed everything for this man my friends my job now I’m heartbroken I want him Back but I don’t know what to do we both did hurt each other I can’t take this pain I even tried to suicide plz help me what should I do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 13, 2020 at 11:07 pm

      Hi Nesrin, you need to seek help from a local therapist and speak to your close loved ones about how you are feeling at the moment. You need to come out of your depression before resuming a relationship with anyone.

  5. Megan

    May 16, 2020 at 5:13 am

    So what if in a heat of emotion you blocked him and it automatically unfriended him? Ugh I’m so stupid emotional

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 17, 2020 at 8:29 pm

      Hi Megan, its ok as long as you unblock now he will see you are no longer emotional

  6. Bebeth

    March 2, 2020 at 8:55 am

    Hello Chris,

    I am in no contact for 1 month now. And my cover photo is still the two of us. I didn’t went online since I started the No Contact. Actually I am afraid to replace it because of my friends on facebook cause they are plenty. And also I am afraid he will move on. He left me because he was bored and before we broke up he found someone else. Honestly, I am afraid that changing my cover photo will back fire or will feel him relief to go on with this someone. Please help me what to do. I am really fearful.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 2, 2020 at 10:17 pm

      Hi Bebeth, I would not over think your social media actions a cover photo you can change and not post it to your news feed so that your friends see, you say you have done no contact but have you worked on yourself in that time?

  7. Sandy

    January 29, 2020 at 6:55 pm

    Been in no contact for 10 weeks. He said he wasn’t ready after 3yrs before that he wanted to marry me 19 years ago. I said no because I was already married. Since then, I’ve ended my marriage for him and moved near to him for him to run. He’s blocked me on Facebook after 9 years. I’ve not begged, pleaded or text him. I’ve let him go… it’s been heart breaking but have kept myself elegant. Even though he said he felt pressured by me and my move. By the way he asked me to move. Any tips you could give to get him back would be appreciated x

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 31, 2020 at 11:35 pm

      Hey Sandy, read about what it means to be Ungettable and work on that in your life so that he can feel he has lost someone amazing

  8. Rachel Wong Ying Qin

    August 31, 2019 at 1:38 pm

    He didn’t respond when I sent reminder text or memory text to him, as if I’m talking to a rock, acting like he not care about me at all, but I noticed his mutual friend(close friend) keep on liking my post on FB.

  9. Yasmine Gardner

    June 18, 2019 at 8:59 am

    Hi Chris,
    thank you for all these tips. But, I had a question. In general I am having a below average Facebook usage (and Instagram as well). If I suddenly start posting, he will become suspicious that I am doing it on purpose just to make him jealous. Imagine that I have to change my profile pic 2 years. And this I am doing it on purpose. If I started posting all the ti me to show that I am active he will think that this is on purpose. I remember recently a girl friend of ours broke up and she started posting images on Facebook so he commented: oh she is searching for a new boyfriend. This means that he has in his back of his mind that women might use Facebook in order to achieve results.

  10. Katie

    April 2, 2018 at 3:19 pm

    Should you keep the photos of the relationship of the two of you together on Facebook or should you hide them?

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 3, 2018 at 2:14 am

      I actually would remove all of them except just a few.

      I would want him to wonder why you kept those small few up. It’ll be one of those unanswered questions that’ll stick in his mind.

    2. Katie

      April 4, 2018 at 9:56 pm

      He removed all of ours from Instagram the week after the breakup and most on Facebook except a few. I took your advice and only left a few up on my Facebook. Well, come to find out the few he had left are now removed from my profile so he must have deleted them. All except for one. He must have seen I removed most of mine. I should mention I unfriended him from Facebook before I read your article, but I have been keeping all of my posts public. Today is day 19 NC. I heard from him once and I didn’t respond on day 12.

    3. Chris Seiter

      April 5, 2018 at 11:45 pm

      It’s just posturing on his part. He’s trying to illicit a reaction.

      Think of it like this.

      Do you think him leaving photos up is going to be what wins him back? My wife still has photos that she’s forgotten about still up… it annoys me but trust me when I say we have a tendancy to look too much into everything our exes are doing.

    4. Katie

      April 6, 2018 at 1:17 am

      Ok, I understand. Here’s a question that I haven’t seen come up yet. Long story short, I bought his mother a birthday gift before we broke up and he knew I had it for her. I contemplated whether or not to send it and I finally mailed it because I didn’t want our failure to be a reflection on my relationship with them. She got it and messaged me thanking me and we had a brief convo. (nothing about him) she said she misses me and wished I was well, etc. I used it as an opportunity to drop a few things I’d been up to such as being recognized at work. He then texts me later that evening (NC day 12 that I didnt respond) and thanked me for the gift and wished me well. So, how does no contact work with the exes family? And did that outreach attempt on his part count considering the circumstances?

    5. Chris Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 4:42 am

      I say it’s ok to continue talking to them but hold them at arms length for the period. Don’t respond all the time and keep conversations short.

  11. Joy

    February 16, 2018 at 10:40 am

    Hi, I just wanted to bring your attention to one piece of this advice that may need editing. There’s plenty of good advice here but I really think that you need to rethink the bit where you indiscriminately recommend ‘losing weight, (sometimes this may require you to lose a significant amount.)’ I think you need to be aware of your audience here, many of whom are probably already feeling ugly and insecure (having been rejected) and may have eating disorders or be at risk of developing them. Perhaps you could word your advice more carefully in order promote a healthy body image, confidence after all is oh-so-sexy. It would be more helpful to suggest that we aim to be a healthy weight, or aim to ensure we’re eating healthy foods (which helps maintain clear skin and a healthy weight) and getting enough exercise. By recommending ‘losing weight’ even a ‘significant amount’ as a blanket recommendation, you risk already thin, troubled girls falling into anorexia etc. Those girls might be more likely to reattract their exes if they put weight on.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 19, 2018 at 12:07 pm

      Hi Joy!

      Thank you for suggesting. We apologize if we offended you and we will take into consideration your advice for other readers too.

  12. Nae

    January 19, 2018 at 1:29 am

    So I am confused about using facebook and no contact. I kept him as a friend but there is a way for me to not allow him to see my posts. Should I keep him from seeing my posts until after the 30 days or should I leave my posts open for him to see? I only post positive posts, outings with friends and crafting posts.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 20, 2018 at 3:38 am

      Hi Nae,

      He has to see your posts..That’s your indirect way of showing your improvements

  13. Ashl

    October 4, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    I’ve done the no contact for 30 days (didnt break it,yay),I contacted him,we are on day 9 now,he seems a bit confused why I am texting him,but I said that I just want ti be friendly without any grudge and so on. Now I have a photo with some flowers from other guy (he isnt in the photo). Can I post this picture to make my ex jealous or is it too much?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 5, 2017 at 7:50 am

      Hi Ashl,

      Yes, post it..

  14. Carla

    July 6, 2017 at 1:31 am

    I have a doubt…I’ve been in no contact for maybe a month, but I haven’t post that much…Can I start the texting step (and start posting) or should I keep the no contact and post?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 7:18 pm

      restart nc of 30 days, be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media sites where posts lasts.

  15. Saron

    April 22, 2017 at 11:17 am

    Hi! Just want to know your opinion. I’ve been doing no contact for 20 days. He is the most emotional man I’ve ever dated – very sensitive about things normal people wouldn’t react to. When we were arguing during the time leading to the breakup, I told him that I understood we had some differences and that our relationship will only succeed if we both make an effort to make it work – he had a tendency to just always be the victim and never take responsibility for our misunderstandings. I asked him if he wanted to try again and work on our relationship or if he wants to break up. He’d said he couldn’t answer that moment and that he was feeling pressured. I understood and told him that if he decided that he did in fact want to continue what we had, that he knows how to reach me and that I won’t be reaching out while he takes his space. Then the following day we were chatting on whatsapp (which he initiated and on a negative note – he was again telling me another thing about me that upset him) and now started arguing again. We texted back and forth and then he angrily wrote that he finally has an answer for my question and it’s that he doesn’t want to be with me and that he wishes me to find what I’m looking for – though I’m not the one who decided to end it. But I said ok and didn’t try to say anything else. Then In the first week after we broke up, he was liking my posts on fb which was hurting me, so I unfriended (not blocked) him on facebook and instagram because it was too painful to see him there and it would help me not to cyber stalk him. He continued to follow and watch my instagram stories until 2 days ago (day 18 no contact) when I noticed he has now unfollowed me too. So I’m just wondering if this is a bad sign. Did he unfollow me for the same reasons I unfollowed him? Or is he over me now? And how will be see my life during no contact if we don’t see each other on any social media? All we have are 3 mutual friends on facebook. I’d been making really great progress in my personal life like finally getting my own apartment, meeting new people, taking a fancy car on a test drive and trying new cuisine – which was all evident on my social media. Of course I didn’t over-do it or post unusually more than I normally would.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 28, 2017 at 5:47 pm

      That’s ok even if you only have 3 mutual friends, just keep being active in social media..check this one:
      EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?

  16. Megaera

    April 8, 2017 at 9:10 am

    Hello, I have a question on this FB issue, please reply!

    My ex broke up with me, but we are still FB friends. During our time of dating, FB messenger is our only regular form of talking. It’s been 4 days since I started doing NC (I promised not to contact him in any form as he wanted). I unfollowed him, I think he also unfollowed me too because that’s what he did to his ex’s. He is a stubborn, and a busy guy. During the break up, he said cold, hurtful things to me as if I was nothing, and I said things hurt his ego too I admit, that’s why he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. He rarely posts anything on FB, he sometimes likes his friends posts and that’s it. Meaning, he could be that 1/10 guy. So what can I hope for in this situation? Will he ever think of checking out on my FB to see how I doing?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 8, 2017 at 4:18 pm

      if he knows how much you love him, he’ll get curious why you’re being silent and not chasing either now or during building rapport.. so continue improving and posting.. nc is for you to heal and improve..if it doesn’t work at least you have done what you can in the proper way.

  17. Anon

    March 17, 2017 at 5:23 am

    My boyfriend left me suddenly less than a week ago after we had been planning to move to another country together for 1,5 years. He had a thing with his ex in the past which eventualy destroyed us. When he left we were doing “couple things” and telling each other how much we love each other.. however he said he doesnt want a gf at the moment. I have posted nice photos and statuses on fb but he hasn’t liked any of them, also i haven’t written anything to him since he left. What should i do to gey him back? Or is it useless if he’s not even interested to see my profile?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2017 at 4:03 pm

      Hi Anon,

      its just been a week..stick to nc, keep improving yourself and being active in posting in social media..

  18. Jay

    March 16, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    My girlfriend finished me, I told her to block me on Facebook but she still hasnt as she “still cares for me”. I’ve deleted her number but I don’t want to see her with another bloke when that eventually becomes her profile picture. I’ve been ‘no con’ for 5 weeks now, I know she’ll probs never want me back, but if I block her on Facebook will this give the message that I’ve moved on and put her off getting in touch if she wants me back? I know she will still know where I live, or she’ll know my phone number so she will still have other ways to contact me…. but will she think I don’t care…. saying as she won’t block me as she “still cares”?

    1. Jay

      March 17, 2017 at 6:08 pm

      To be honest I’ve not felt the need to improve, she said I was ‘perfect’ and the ‘perfect boyfriend’, and she didn’t know why she was doing it, but her heart was no longer in it. Also she got a lot of hassle of her children’s father…. he constantly begged her back, and used emotional abuse on the kids telling them he can’t see them because I’m there. So I’ve got my Facebook so you can only see the same profile picture I’ve had for months. So there’s nothing for her to see on my page….. but maybe if I block her she might feel that I’m moving on…. which may make her feel different as I know one day she will realise what she gave up, but I doubt she will make contact when she does realise.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2017 at 5:08 pm

      it would be better if you dont block and to start being active in improving yourself instead and in posting in social media

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 17, 2017 at 5:16 pm

      Hi Jay,

      nope dont block her.. she has to see your improvements if she gets curious.. how much did you improve in the past 5 weeks?

  19. Rose

    February 21, 2017 at 2:39 pm

    Me and my bf got into an argument over the phone on Friday night. He kept cussing at me and calling me names, I was crying so much. He told me he can’t be with me anymore since I brought up an issue from a week or two ago. He also said he doesn’t want to get married to me anymore or have kids with me. I kept hanging up and he would call back getting upset about me hanging up. After two hours of this with him getting mad and making me cry I stopped answering. We haven’t talked since, he hasn’t called me and neither have I. Last night I took him off my relationship status on fb and changed my profile pic of us together to just me. An hour later he deactivated his Facebook but didn’t delete me before he did. What should I do then in regards to Facebook since he’s deactivated his account?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 22, 2017 at 1:02 pm

      hi Rose,

      If you are going to do the no contact rule,just keep your posts public..

  20. Carrie

    February 14, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    How much is too much FB posting? I post a couple of times a day about my workouts, every couple of days pics of me and my dog, and my friends are always tagging me in funny memes and pics they find online. At what point does your ex say he doesn’t wanna see anymore from you and he ends up blocking or unfollowing you. Does it ever backfire? If I’m posting about how much fun I’m having now, and the things in my life that are changing, he can just look at my FB, he doesn’t NEED to contact me anymore to know what’s going on with me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2017 at 9:32 pm

      try to cut back a little..maybe try every other day or 3 days in a row and then rest for 2 days

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