What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back

Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Lately, I’ve had a lot of women coming to me and asking if they can use Facebook in any way to get back with their exes. I will admit that when I did all the research for this site it never occurred to me to dive that deep into the ex recovery process.  I did think about it but I never really thought it was important enough to research.

Boy, was I wrong.

According to a recent study conducted by a Western University student completing her Master’s thesis nearly 9 out of 10 Facebook users keep an eye on their exes profiles. Let’s take a step back for a moment. That means that literally 90% of Facebook is obsessed with cyber stalking their exes.

What This Page Is About

I wanted to create a page on how you could best optimize your Facebook profile to give yourself the best chance to get your ex boyfriend back. Since I am a guy I have a pretty good idea on what the perfect Facebook profile should look like to give yourself the best chance to reignite your exes feelings and ultimately get your ex boyfriend to come back to you.

However, I do feel it is important to mention that while I think I am a pretty good indicator of the “average” male I would be a fool to not point out that some guys have completely different tastes than I do. So, don’t be offended if you try out the tactics on this page and they don’t work. There are still a lot of things you can do to improve your chances of getting your boyfriend back.

Speaking of getting your boyfriend back,

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What About That Rare 1 out of 10 Who Isn’t A Stalker?


In this section I am going to talk about some of the things you can do to improve the chances of your ex stopping by your profile. Unless you completely skipped the first few paragraphs of this page then you know that there is pretty much a 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is stalking your profile ;). So, the chances are already good that his eyes are on your page. However, by doing the things below you will raise those odds even more:

Do not contact him via Facebook- Not only could this be viewed as desperate but as you are about to find out, actually not contacting your ex is a smarter strategy.

Do not unfriend him- I hear from women far too often who are contemplating unfriending their ex, because “it hurts too much.” I can understand why it hurts to see him. However, you need to start looking at Facebook as a tool that can be used to further your chances of getting him to have those romantic feelings towards you again.

Implement A No Contact Rule- I actually recommend doing this in almost every situation to get your ex back. One of the many reasons it is so effective is that it makes your ex go a little crazy. When it is really working you can bet that he will try anything to get a hold of you. I have heard stories of exes getting family members phones to get a hold of you, showing up at doorsteps and even spamming your FACEBOOK!

The Importance Of A No Contact Rule To Your Facebook

(If you need more explanation of how the No Contact Rule works into Facebook please read my system.)


So, I want to take a moment now and discuss how important the no contact rule can be to your Facebook efforts. Obviously, the no contact rule is exactly what it sounds like, having no contact with your ex boyfriend for a set amount of time (usually 30 days.) The question is, why is it so important when it comes to Facebook?

Well, to answer that we have to back up a little bit and go inside the mind of a guy.

Lets pretend that you and I used to date. Unfortunately, we broke up and now you want me back. Your first order of business is to implement a no contact rule. Around day 12 I decide to check up on you via a text message. I am eagerly waiting a response… but I don’t get one. Slowly but surely I am starting to get frustrated and a bit angry. I decide to text you again, “surely this time she will respond.” Only you don’t. Ok, now I am angry. After I am done with my initial rant I decide to log onto Facebook to see if you are still alive.

Ok, let’s hit the pause button here for a second and dissect what you have done.

By essentially ignoring your ex boyfriends texts, you have forced him to come over to Facebook and check your profile out. You have him right where you want him. The focus now becomes, what you should have been doing during your NC period.

What You NEED To Do During No Contact

I am going to be extremely harsh now. Men are very visual creatures. We often will judge a book by it’s cover before reading the actual book. I know that it is unfortunate to hear but it is the truth. There have been a lot of times that I have looked past a girl because she didn’t meet my “looks” requirement. I know that is a horrible thing to say BUT if you truly want to get your ex boyfriend back this is something you absolutely need to understand. Guys can often be cruel with their thoughts about how women look (if they aren’t at their best.) Your ex boyfriend may have gotten tired of the way you looked and it contributed to the breakup.

positive changesYou can often hear this from guys:

“She is just a little too pudgy.”

“She never gets dressed up for me anymore.”

“She never cares about attracting me anymore.”

“She has gained 60lbs since we have been together…”

During no contact I want you to focus on two big things. Figuring out how to become the sexiest version of yourself that ever existed and NOT contacting your ex no matter what. The second thing is pretty self explanatory but lets take a moment to focus on what you can do physically to become an uber hottie!

  • Cleaning up any skin problems you may have (acne)
  • Losing weight (sometimes this may require you to lose a significant amount.)
  • Updating your wardrobe.
  • Getting a haircut.
  • Looking your best… always!

The key point I am trying to make here is that your Facebook profile is a reflection of you. So, when he stops by I don’t want him going “Oh, same ol’ same ol” I want him to go “OH MY GOD, she looks amazing!”

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Deconstructing The Perfect Facebook Profile


I am going to be completely honest with you, using Facebook to get your ex back isn’t ideal. I could give you all the rules about how to approach the situation but it isn’t ideal. So, from this point on I am going to be defining how your Facebook profile should look like to him when he comes stopping by. That is really the most powerful thing that Facebook can do for you, paint you in the best light possible. If you are interested in a truly in-depth method to getting him back then I suggest you visit this page and this page.

So, what does the perfect Facebook profile look like?

Well, I suppose that everyone has a different perspective when it comes to a “perfect profile.” It’s that whole eye of the beholder thing. Nevertheless, I like to think that I am a pretty good indicator of the average guy (or in this case your ex boyfriend.) I decided that the best way to approach this was to go through the friends on my personal Facebook profile and jot down some of the women that stood out to me. Now, here is the criteria I looked at:

  • Her profile picture had to be appealing.
  • Her cover photo had to be interesting.
  • Her profile really had to catch my attention.
  • The girl had to have multiple guys commenting on her wall.
  • She had to have a minimum of 500 friends.
  • She had to have a minimum of 30 pictures.
  • She had to be single.

Here is the deal, if I find the girls I chose to be attractive then you can bet your ex boyfriends would be as well. My goal is for you to take the information I provide here and “pimp out” your profile. I want your profile to not only make your ex go “WOW” but I want other guys to give you the attention you deserve! I am looking for trends here. So, if a lot of the attractive women I chose did something then you should probably do it too.

I ended up choosing 20 women, I will not be giving you their names though so don’t go fishing around here because you will be disappointed.

The Profile Picture

I am starting with the most important section of the Facebook profile first. I don’t think it takes a genius to recognize how important your profile picture is to catching someones attention. Without a doubt, all the women I chose for this case study had excellent profile pictures. The big thing I began to realize right off the bat was how important it is for you to take a close up of your face. The thing that caught my eye the most was women who had the confidence to look at the camera for a close up. Let me give you an example of what I am talking about:

(Disclaimer- I did not choose any photos from the women I did the case study on. These are pictures I found on the internet doing random searches.)

Good Profile Picture

good profile picture

 Now, I know what you are thinking, “that woman is a model, I can’t take a picture like that..” Your wrong! When I go through my friends pictures there were some women who had profile pictures that rivaled this one. Let this be a lesson, women who went the extra mile with their profile picture will catch a mans attention.

Also, I want you to notice that whoever took this picture caught the sun perfectly to give it a sort of “too beautiful to be real” look. As I go back I count three women who I chose for this case study who employed that very method. Interestingly, those were the three women who I voted as having the best profile pictures (HINT HINT.)

It might also be helpful for me to explain some of the things that turned me off of including some women on the “list.” If they had a profile picture of them with their friends, if they had other guys in the picture or if were drinking alcohol I did not want to include them because it lowered their value in my eyes.

Key Takeaways:

  • Make sure you profile pic is tastefully done and it is a closeup of your face.
  • Aim to have a “too beautiful to be real” type of look.
  • Avoid taking a picture of you with friends, other guys or drinking alcohol.

(Funny Fact- The profile picture on my profile is atrocious. I should really take my own advice 😉 .)

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Cover Photos, Do They Matter?

Yes and no. Most guys will tell you that they don’t matter. In fact, when I was pre-writing this page I almost skipped the cover photo section because I thought it was insignificant. However, my mind changed when I logged on to Facebook and started screening my women friends. Some of them just have horrible cover photos and it reflects really badly on them. Of course, it is like hitting gold when you click on a girl who has a tastefully done profile picture and her cover photo reflects really positively on her. Rather than rambling on and on I am going to give you an example of what I considered a bad cover photo and a good one.

Bad Cover Photo


I actually took this cover photo from one of the women who I did NOT include on the list. Yes, it’s space, its actually kind of pretty but it is a completely missed opportunity. Here is the problem I have with it. This particular photo can not go hand and hand with a profile picture. The girl who had this as her cover photo was actually very pretty. However, not only did she miss on her profile picture but the cover photo made her profile unattractive to look at.

Good Cover Photo

 good cover photo

 This is another example I took from a girl who is on my friends list. While she didn’t have the best profile picture I think she knocked her cover photo out of the ballpark. Yes, it may be a little goofy but her cover photo truly says something, it has meaning. The only missing component for her was that she didn’t find a way to make her great cover photo and her profile picture to work together.

Key Takeaways

  • Cover photos matter more than you think.
  • The best cover photos are ones that work together with your profile picture.
  • You want your cover photo to mean something. Bland images like space aren’t good enough.

Surviving The “Photo” Scan

avoiding spotlight

This is the section where I may get a little…. mean. Guys are the most shallow creatures you will ever meet. I want you to get that through your head. I don’t care how nice a guy is, somewhere, deep down, he is thinking shallow thoughts. This is especially true when it comes to your Facebook photos. Oh, and don’t think that I am immune to the “shallow disease,” I can be just as mean as the rest of them. Let me give you a glimpse into the mind of the average male looking through Facebook.

Rick (our designated male personality) is looking through Facebook. Immediately he sees someone he deems as “hot” and clicks on her profile. Now, most women I speak with think that Rick will read their wall, see if they are single or see how many guys are commenting on their status updates.

Ah, but they forget something that is even more important. Men are very visual oriented so while all that other stuff matters to us the first place we go is to check out your other pictures. The profile picture alone was enough to capture Ricks attention but there is a problem. It seems as if this “hot” girl isn’t so hot anymore. He saw the first picture she had to offer in her album and it did not paint her in the best light. It seems as if this “hot girl” needed to lose some weight. Rick had seen enough, it was time to move on and find the next potential prospect.

I am not kidding when I say that, the mock story I told above (shout out to Rick 😉 ) is exactly how 99% of men operate. I am not afraid to admit that I did exactly that during my scan through my friends. Literally just one bad picture is enough to turn a guy off. However, we are dealing with an ex boyfriend here so are the rules any different?

In my mind, they are not. You want your ex boyfriend to scroll through your pictures and say “God #$%$ why did I ever let her go” not “She looks more horrible than I remember her.” The point I am driving home here is that really the profile picture is just there to show off the “bow” of the present. The rest of your pictures are the rest of the package. You want to make sure that you strut your stuff in the rest of the pictures so to speak.

So, any bad picture that you have, toss it. Any bad picture that you are tagged in, toss it. I want you to look amazing in all of your pictures so by the time your ex comes around his jaw will literally hit the floor.

Key Takeaways:

  • Guys are shallow and will judge you based on one picture.
  • You should look amazing in all of your pictures.

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Status Updates & Hurt Feelings


What usually happens after a breakup? Perhaps I should rephrase that, what usually happens to women after a breakup? Well, I am one of the few men that could actually tell you that because I deal with so many women on a daily basis. In my experience this is what the average girl does after a breakup:

  • She cries.
  • Gets overemotional.
  • Texts, emails or calls her ex way too many times.
  • Unintentionally acts so desperate that she totally turns her man off.

Now, here is the scary part. Almost all guys expect this kind of behavior after a breakup. Let me be a little more accurate here since we are discussing Facebook. Almost all guys expect some overemotional status update talking about your “feelings are hurt.” I know that may sound mean but let me tell you a story.

I log on to Facebook pretty much every day and without fail I am greeted by some girl posting about how her now ex boyfriend “hurt her feelings.” Usually these status updates go something like this:

It sure would be nice to have an escape from my life and the jerks in it.. Even if it is just for one night..

(It literally took me a minute to find that and I literally just grabbed it off my Facebook dashboard in the middle of writing this page)

It is obvious to everyone and their mother that this is a status update about a boy who did this particular girl wrong (probably a boyfriend or an ex.) Of course, this “bad boy” is going to see this update and know immediately that his actions are having an effect on this girl. That is a really bad thing because it means he is in a position of power and he knows that anything he does is going to have a certain amount of sway over this girl.

Why would you even give an ex the satisfaction of knowing that his actions are hurting you? That is just dumb and has no benefit at all to you. I wouldn’t even acknowledge it. The smarter thing to do is use your Facebook updates for interesting and important things.

Speaking of  Facebook status updates..

Repeat After Me- “I Now Have An Active Social Life”

social life

There was one amazing trend that I saw when I did my Facebook study. Each person I picked looked like they had fun and interesting social lives. Think about that for a second, I went out searching for women that I straight up found attractive and each one looked like they were having a blast in their photos with friends. Oh, and just so you know, I am not a hardcore party guy at all. I actually probably need to get out more. Nevertheless, I don’t think it was a mistake that I found women attractive who all looked like they had active social lives.

And since I am the voice of the average male, I think it is safe to say that your ex boyfriends would also find these women and their active social lives attractive as well. This means, if you don’t have an active social life I think it is about time for you to get one.

Now, it is probably important to point out that there is a right way to display your social life and there is a wrong way to.

The Wrong Way

  • Drinking alcohol while dancing/grinding with guys at a club… to most guys this is a total turnoff and it will definitely be to your ex boyfriend.
  • Making out with other guys who aren’t your ex boyfriend.
  • Making out with one of your girl friends. Actually keep that photo up… No I am kidding.

The Right Way

  • A lot of pictures out with your girl friends.
  • Sprinkle in pictures with some of your guy friends (see jealousy in next section.)
  • Taking a photo of the crowded event you are at (a party at Vegas for example.)
  • Photos where you are out on a boat with a group of people and showing off your hot body in a bikini ;).
  • Show you are well traveled by taking pictures of places you have been.

Facebook = Jealous Haven

I saved the best section for last. Now, doing the things outlined in this section are completely optional. People respond differently to jealousy. However, I can tell you that if you use Facebook for jealousy in a tasteful and smart way the results can be tremendous.

I hope by now I have convinced you that the chances are very high that your ex boyfriend will be visiting your profile at some point in the future. So, what if when he stops by he sees you getting cozy with some other guy? Most likely, he will get jealous. The true point of this section is to show you the correct way to take a picture with another guy to:

A. Not completely send your ex boyfriend off the rails with anger.


B. Make him extremely jealous.

Have you ever heard the phrase, less is more? Well, in this case that certainly holds true. It won’t take a lot to make him jealous if he still has feelings for you. However, if you do something like this:

trashy makout

 I think you can pretty much kiss (no pun intended) your chances of getting him back goodbye. Not only is that poor taste but your ex will view you as trashy and once you get that label it is really hard to shake it. Not to mention it is a total turnoff to see some stranger guy macking on your ex. I wouldn’t go back to an ex if she did that right after a breakup.

Instead, you need to shoot for a picture like this:


 Notice how in the picture it is hard to tell if this is a couple or if they are just a couple of friends. You need to aim for something like this. Something that says, I MAY like this guy but he is clearly into me. When your ex sees this picture he won’t be turned off. Instead, he will be angry that another guy is impeding on his woman.


Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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759 thoughts on “Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. Joy

    February 16, 2018 at 10:40 am

    Hi, I just wanted to bring your attention to one piece of this advice that may need editing. There’s plenty of good advice here but I really think that you need to rethink the bit where you indiscriminately recommend ‘losing weight, (sometimes this may require you to lose a significant amount.)’ I think you need to be aware of your audience here, many of whom are probably already feeling ugly and insecure (having been rejected) and may have eating disorders or be at risk of developing them. Perhaps you could word your advice more carefully in order promote a healthy body image, confidence after all is oh-so-sexy. It would be more helpful to suggest that we aim to be a healthy weight, or aim to ensure we’re eating healthy foods (which helps maintain clear skin and a healthy weight) and getting enough exercise. By recommending ‘losing weight’ even a ‘significant amount’ as a blanket recommendation, you risk already thin, troubled girls falling into anorexia etc. Those girls might be more likely to reattract their exes if they put weight on.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 19, 2018 at 12:07 pm

      Hi Joy!

      Thank you for suggesting. We apologize if we offended you and we will take into consideration your advice for other readers too.

  2. Nae

    January 19, 2018 at 1:29 am

    So I am confused about using facebook and no contact. I kept him as a friend but there is a way for me to not allow him to see my posts. Should I keep him from seeing my posts until after the 30 days or should I leave my posts open for him to see? I only post positive posts, outings with friends and crafting posts.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 20, 2018 at 3:38 am

      Hi Nae,

      He has to see your posts..That’s your indirect way of showing your improvements

  3. Ashl

    October 4, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    I’ve done the no contact for 30 days (didnt break it,yay),I contacted him,we are on day 9 now,he seems a bit confused why I am texting him,but I said that I just want ti be friendly without any grudge and so on. Now I have a photo with some flowers from other guy (he isnt in the photo). Can I post this picture to make my ex jealous or is it too much?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 5, 2017 at 7:50 am

      Hi Ashl,

      Yes, post it..

  4. Carla

    July 6, 2017 at 1:31 am

    I have a doubt…I’ve been in no contact for maybe a month, but I haven’t post that much…Can I start the texting step (and start posting) or should I keep the no contact and post?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 7:18 pm

      restart nc of 30 days, be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media sites where posts lasts.

  5. Saron

    April 22, 2017 at 11:17 am

    Hi! Just want to know your opinion. I’ve been doing no contact for 20 days. He is the most emotional man I’ve ever dated – very sensitive about things normal people wouldn’t react to. When we were arguing during the time leading to the breakup, I told him that I understood we had some differences and that our relationship will only succeed if we both make an effort to make it work – he had a tendency to just always be the victim and never take responsibility for our misunderstandings. I asked him if he wanted to try again and work on our relationship or if he wants to break up. He’d said he couldn’t answer that moment and that he was feeling pressured. I understood and told him that if he decided that he did in fact want to continue what we had, that he knows how to reach me and that I won’t be reaching out while he takes his space. Then the following day we were chatting on whatsapp (which he initiated and on a negative note – he was again telling me another thing about me that upset him) and now started arguing again. We texted back and forth and then he angrily wrote that he finally has an answer for my question and it’s that he doesn’t want to be with me and that he wishes me to find what I’m looking for – though I’m not the one who decided to end it. But I said ok and didn’t try to say anything else. Then In the first week after we broke up, he was liking my posts on fb which was hurting me, so I unfriended (not blocked) him on facebook and instagram because it was too painful to see him there and it would help me not to cyber stalk him. He continued to follow and watch my instagram stories until 2 days ago (day 18 no contact) when I noticed he has now unfollowed me too. So I’m just wondering if this is a bad sign. Did he unfollow me for the same reasons I unfollowed him? Or is he over me now? And how will be see my life during no contact if we don’t see each other on any social media? All we have are 3 mutual friends on facebook. I’d been making really great progress in my personal life like finally getting my own apartment, meeting new people, taking a fancy car on a test drive and trying new cuisine – which was all evident on my social media. Of course I didn’t over-do it or post unusually more than I normally would.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 28, 2017 at 5:47 pm

      That’s ok even if you only have 3 mutual friends, just keep being active in social media..check this one:
      EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?

  6. Megaera

    April 8, 2017 at 9:10 am

    Hello, I have a question on this FB issue, please reply!

    My ex broke up with me, but we are still FB friends. During our time of dating, FB messenger is our only regular form of talking. It’s been 4 days since I started doing NC (I promised not to contact him in any form as he wanted). I unfollowed him, I think he also unfollowed me too because that’s what he did to his ex’s. He is a stubborn, and a busy guy. During the break up, he said cold, hurtful things to me as if I was nothing, and I said things hurt his ego too I admit, that’s why he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. He rarely posts anything on FB, he sometimes likes his friends posts and that’s it. Meaning, he could be that 1/10 guy. So what can I hope for in this situation? Will he ever think of checking out on my FB to see how I doing?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 8, 2017 at 4:18 pm

      if he knows how much you love him, he’ll get curious why you’re being silent and not chasing either now or during building rapport.. so continue improving and posting.. nc is for you to heal and improve..if it doesn’t work at least you have done what you can in the proper way.

  7. Anon

    March 17, 2017 at 5:23 am

    My boyfriend left me suddenly less than a week ago after we had been planning to move to another country together for 1,5 years. He had a thing with his ex in the past which eventualy destroyed us. When he left we were doing “couple things” and telling each other how much we love each other.. however he said he doesnt want a gf at the moment. I have posted nice photos and statuses on fb but he hasn’t liked any of them, also i haven’t written anything to him since he left. What should i do to gey him back? Or is it useless if he’s not even interested to see my profile?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2017 at 4:03 pm

      Hi Anon,

      its just been a week..stick to nc, keep improving yourself and being active in posting in social media..

  8. Jay

    March 16, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    My girlfriend finished me, I told her to block me on Facebook but she still hasnt as she “still cares for me”. I’ve deleted her number but I don’t want to see her with another bloke when that eventually becomes her profile picture. I’ve been ‘no con’ for 5 weeks now, I know she’ll probs never want me back, but if I block her on Facebook will this give the message that I’ve moved on and put her off getting in touch if she wants me back? I know she will still know where I live, or she’ll know my phone number so she will still have other ways to contact me…. but will she think I don’t care…. saying as she won’t block me as she “still cares”?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 17, 2017 at 5:16 pm

      Hi Jay,

      nope dont block her.. she has to see your improvements if she gets curious.. how much did you improve in the past 5 weeks?

    2. Jay

      March 17, 2017 at 6:08 pm

      To be honest I’ve not felt the need to improve, she said I was ‘perfect’ and the ‘perfect boyfriend’, and she didn’t know why she was doing it, but her heart was no longer in it. Also she got a lot of hassle of her children’s father…. he constantly begged her back, and used emotional abuse on the kids telling them he can’t see them because I’m there. So I’ve got my Facebook so you can only see the same profile picture I’ve had for months. So there’s nothing for her to see on my page….. but maybe if I block her she might feel that I’m moving on…. which may make her feel different as I know one day she will realise what she gave up, but I doubt she will make contact when she does realise.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2017 at 5:08 pm

      it would be better if you dont block and to start being active in improving yourself instead and in posting in social media

  9. Rose

    February 21, 2017 at 2:39 pm

    Me and my bf got into an argument over the phone on Friday night. He kept cussing at me and calling me names, I was crying so much. He told me he can’t be with me anymore since I brought up an issue from a week or two ago. He also said he doesn’t want to get married to me anymore or have kids with me. I kept hanging up and he would call back getting upset about me hanging up. After two hours of this with him getting mad and making me cry I stopped answering. We haven’t talked since, he hasn’t called me and neither have I. Last night I took him off my relationship status on fb and changed my profile pic of us together to just me. An hour later he deactivated his Facebook but didn’t delete me before he did. What should I do then in regards to Facebook since he’s deactivated his account?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 22, 2017 at 1:02 pm

      hi Rose,

      If you are going to do the no contact rule,just keep your posts public..

  10. Carrie

    February 14, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    How much is too much FB posting? I post a couple of times a day about my workouts, every couple of days pics of me and my dog, and my friends are always tagging me in funny memes and pics they find online. At what point does your ex say he doesn’t wanna see anymore from you and he ends up blocking or unfollowing you. Does it ever backfire? If I’m posting about how much fun I’m having now, and the things in my life that are changing, he can just look at my FB, he doesn’t NEED to contact me anymore to know what’s going on with me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2017 at 9:32 pm

      try to cut back a little..maybe try every other day or 3 days in a row and then rest for 2 days

  11. Jackie

    February 3, 2017 at 5:58 pm

    Hi- I’m wondering if I should unblock my ex on Facebook? I blocked him 5 days ago after him breaking up with me and am not sure how to use Facebook now to my advantage with him blocked. We only dated 4 months and it just ended suddenly after our first argument where nasty things were said. He just said he thought me and my kids were what he wanted but now he just doesn’t feel the same anymore. I’ve been in nc since Tuesday night after I picked my things up from his place. I did ask again why all of a sudden he had a change of heart and he just said he didn’t know and that I needed to stop pushing for an answer. So I’m going to just let it go but don’t know what else to do about Facebook? Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 3, 2017 at 9:03 pm

      Hi Jackir,

      yes you should unblock him but dont add him back..

  12. Dee

    January 25, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    My boyfriend and I have almost hit the 2 year mark. Save the 2 months he broke up with me over a year ago and completely ghosted me. He’s ghosted me again. He’s currently in a group photo that is my profile picture. I want to know if I should change it to show him I’ve accepted the breakup or give it a minute. It’s been 4 nights.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2017 at 12:40 pm

      Hi Dee,

      change it..

  13. Anki

    January 8, 2017 at 1:08 pm

    Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me on Christmas day, after 4 days of begging and pleading nothing worked out, then i went on the ”NO CONTACT RULE”. It has been 3 days now, I’ve been working on myself, posting happy pictures of myself and all of a sudden today I noticed that he blocked me off facebook but still has kept me on Whatsapp.?? what games iss he playing??

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 8, 2017 at 10:02 pm

  14. Anon

    December 26, 2016 at 3:16 am

    Hi, boyfriend & I broke up 4 weeks ago. It was after an argument and very sudden. We had a little contact in the first two weeks while I moved stuff out. Then no contact for two weeks. It’s been me that has instigated it. I contacted him on Christmas Day (video call) as we lost a family member earlier this year and it felt appropriate. I was upbeat, conversation went well. I went to close the conversation then relaxed and carried on. He obv. wanted to wrap it up after a while. Conversation ended positively it felt though, but more geared towards me than asking him Qs. I briefly told him I may be taking work half the week away so he knew I was getting on with positive projects and not mopping around. All seemed well apart from him finishing the conversation. I then noticed this evening he deleted the one profile pic he had of us on Facebook. I really feel like I want to video call tomorrow to ask what lead to him doing that. Is there even any point me thinking there may be a chance of us in the future! Or do I keep quiet and go onto the no contact?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2016 at 5:04 pm

      Hi Anon,

      did you video call?

  15. Pippa

    December 18, 2016 at 2:36 am

    Would a stubborn ex who hasn’t made contact since breaking up with you even bother to look at your Facebook page? He hasn’t blocked me but we’re not Facebook friends.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 21, 2016 at 12:44 am

      Hi Pippa,

      Yes, more likely he would still look. Especially if he gets curious because you’ve been silent. And yes, you should try a text that doesn’t just require a yes or no reply. Do you agree on the probably reason why an ex unfriends you on the article Chris wrote?

  16. Mayra

    November 28, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me 2 Saturday’s ago. I did obviously the mistake of contacting him because he gave me no clear reason as of why, it seemed like totally out of the blue. He responded there was some flaws that were bothering him but never specified which ones. It’s pisses me off he never mentioned anything before. Nevertheless I restarted the NC again on Friday and I haven’t contacted him since. This was a long distance relationship we had been on for 2.5 years. I visited him every month on his time off (he is a doctor) since his schedule was nuts. We used to go to bed together on skype and wake up together, so my heart tells me there was love. Anyways, regarding this specific post, I was never very active on facebook, because I am not a real social media fan but since is a long distance relationship I think is the only connection we still have as he never unfriended me. Can I use the tips here and become more media active? He wouldn’t think is kinda off that I all of a sudden became so active. Also, he liked my new profile pic this morning, I guess the NC rule is ignore ignore until the 30 days have passed. Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 7:02 pm

      Hi Mayra,

      yes, you should definitely use the tips here.. And yes, you should ignore him all all throughout nc

  17. Olivia

    November 2, 2016 at 11:32 am

    What to do if I “Unintentionally acts so desperate that she totally turns her man off” ??
    and i rarely use facebook – not really into socializing. i have even deactivated when he posted a picture of him and his new girl. and we’re not even friends. but his new gf tried adding me up on fb. so what next? 😀

    this is the same Olivia who posted on http://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/lets-find-out-if-your-exes-rebound-relationship-will-fail/

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 3, 2016 at 2:38 pm

      Hi Olivia,

      it’s nit real love if he keeps cheating on you.. Correct me if I’m wrong,.he had girlfriends when you were just three months in right? And now, you’ve broken up, he moves in with another girl..

      for me, you should move on but if you cant, you should at least do 45 days no contact..Heal, reflect and improve yourself

  18. Atom

    October 30, 2016 at 3:26 pm

    Not sure if it worked on mobile so posting again…

    Hi, I’m on day 21 of no contact and my ex liked my latest post, and he posted something too (he has not posted anything since he broke up and had told his friends that he’s staying off facebook). He is French and most of his friends are French but he posted in English, so I’m guessing he wanted me to see it. He broke up with me because he said he couldn’t deal with a ldr as he has a lot going on in his life right now, but I think there’s more internal issues that I won’t go into. Anyway, I wanted to follow the 30 day no contact as suggested by PRO but just wondering if this is a good time to reach out since it’s been 21 days already?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 31, 2016 at 10:47 pm

      Hi Atom,

      I think it would be safer to finish the 30 days.. try it.. it’s just a week away. if he’s messaging you in a way through the post, don’t give in too easily.

    2. Atom

      November 2, 2016 at 9:47 am

      Hi Amor, so he commented on one of the recent pics of Halloween that I posted on fb, I’m still a week away from the 30 days but was just wondering if I could “like” that comment after a day or so? I’m usually pretty quick at liking stuff and I’m always online so I wonder if it would make me look like I’m still mad at him or something if I don’t like his comment?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 3, 2016 at 2:39 pm

      hmm actually liking is not allowed too but if you meant after nc, that’s ok.

    4. Atom

      November 13, 2016 at 4:25 pm

      Hi Amor,
      I think I’m making some progress after NC, the first contact message was good and he responded really quickly and positively. But since then there have been some days where he would just like my posts – and almost everything I post (and I’m totally doing that thing where I show that I’m having a good time in my posts), but then he would take a long time to respond to my messages (I use FB messenger so am pretty sure he saw those). How do I deal with that? And how do I stop messaging on the days I’m supposed to not text when he can see that I have seen his messages on fb?
      Thanks, Atom

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 3:51 pm

      it’s ok to leave his messages on seen in the days that you’re not supposed to text unless it’s an emergency. And did you maintain the activities that you started during nc? How many days have you been texting now?

    6. Atom

      November 15, 2016 at 4:47 pm

      It’s been a week since we started texting, but I took breaks in between, and he did too. I feel like it’s going to take a while to establish rapport as I can tell he is still not feeling so great about himself, so I’m just trying to be friendly now most of the time, but I do try and end conversations before he does. And yes I am still maintaining those activities that I’ve been doing since NC and he’s been liking those posts. It’s just a bit frustrating sometimes when he liked my posts but takes time to respond to my messages (is he doing the same thing? LOL)

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 9:57 pm

      Oh, it’s just been a week. Well, that’s common. It really takes time to build rapport.

    8. Atom

      November 20, 2016 at 2:20 pm

      Hi Amor, so me and my ex have been texting sporadically since I reached out, but I did notice that I have been the one initiating most of the time. I tried to end conversations first and have succeeded a few times. I also managed to not text for a day or two. It’s been 2 weeks since we have been texting on and off, and I tried to insert some “good memories text” but he didn’t seem too excited about those. Maybe it still hurts for him to think about the past? I noticed he also did a bit of mirroring (like saying that he did similar stuff as I did / sending me cat pics after I send mine), but I feel like it’s still going to take some time because he’s not a very confident person to start with. I guess I’m still making progress but I do feel a bit stuck… more patience I guess?

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 22, 2016 at 8:45 pm

      Yeah,just remember to maintain your routine too and to end the texts yourself and in cliffhanger as much as you can

    10. Atom

      November 28, 2016 at 4:05 pm

      Hi Amor, it’s 3 weeks in and I’m finding it hard to end on cliffhangers, I still try to end conversations first as much as I can, but it is actually not easy because we have a 7 hour time difference. I can do that on weekends but on weekdays sometimes it would take hours before he would respond because of the time difference, and when he does respond while I’m sleeping then of course I won’t be responding until the next day… I do notice that when I skip a day or two of texting he would initiate more. Because of the time difference many times during the week we can just text back and forth a couple times until one of us has to go anyway, but he does respond during breaks if I sent the last text. Don’t know what to make of that…

    11. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 1:44 pm

      Then whenever he initiates, be interested in his topic or start a topic relating to that

    12. Atom

      January 8, 2017 at 2:04 pm


      This is Atom here from this thread (I think):

      I’m hitting a brick wall as my ex and I have been texting sporadically and there have been some flirty messages. I wanted to take it slow because he is still in the same situation as he was before. I actually planned to visit (haven’t told him yet), but he has been less responsive for the last week and this weekend he didn’t respond (we have been texting on weekends since we got back in touch). I don’t know if anything happened but I don’t want to reach out and ask and sound needy. What should I do? I wonder if he is seeing someone but I don’t think I can ask that question.

    13. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 8, 2017 at 10:06 pm

      rest for 5 days yo a week before trying again..

  19. Gabby

    October 29, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    My ex said that he’s realised that he will never love me, although actions speak louder than words and some of our memories are things that only someone with feelings would ever do really. Midnight bed time stories, secret places in the city. I miss him enormously and our biggest problem was always trust, shall I go ahead with no contact eventhough he doesn’t seem to care whether I speak or I don’t ( we are at the same uni and see each other almost daily) or should I tell him sincerely how I feel, because what he s always wanted from me is the truth.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 31, 2016 at 8:19 pm

      Hi Gabby,

      when and why did you break up? Well, you’re not really lying if you do nc.. you’re just not voicing out what you feel and besides, would it really help you if you confess or would it just put you in the chaser position?

  20. Kaitlin

    October 23, 2016 at 2:24 am

    Good Evening, Me and my Ex Bf broke up because of the fact he still likes me but lost the connection. I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t have a dad because of some things. Apparently he kept getting these thoughts that he was gonna hurt me and become like his dad if he kept our relationship. Do you have any advice on how to get him back? Should I do no contact?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 24, 2016 at 7:32 pm

      Hi Kaitlin,
      how old are you both? how long were you together and when did you break up? You cant control him, you can only control yourself.. So, do you want to try the no contact rule?

  21. Laurence Page

    October 15, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    I’m 23 male and my boyfriend is 18 male.. Mature for his age though. We were in a Long distance relationship. (1.45hour drive) We saw eachother every 2 weeks minimum. I always went to him because i drive. My boyfriend told me out of the blue 4 dayas ago after being nice to me all week, after I send him a text annoyed at him for ignoring my texts and basically telling him if he doesnt want to be with me then dont be with me. He sent a long message back basically saying he has had doubts over the last 3 weeks and think we should break it off. (I was meant to be seeing him during those weeks but he had an awful flu so i couldnt). I called him we both cried, he said he doesnt feel the same way. Which was confusing. I was in shock, crying, text him a million messages that night. couldnt sleep, drove down to him the next morning with flowers, poured my heart out to him. We both cried, he was shaking and crying, he said he doesnt feel the same, doesnt want to lead me on and cant be committed. I only started the NC rule yesterday.
    My question is, do i post anything on social media? showing im happy? or out? do i leave it for a week? we unfollowed eachother on instagram and i think on snapchat, but we are friends on facebook.

    1. Laurence Page

      October 15, 2016 at 1:50 pm

      ofcourse at the moment im not happy. I’m lost and confused.
      I think he still has feelings for me otherwise why would he be so upset at the moment. Its confusing because we facetimed every night. We were both happy. I wanst at the end, because every other day he would ignore me. but i think its my fault for being needy…

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 16, 2016 at 5:16 pm

      Hi Laurence,

      You can start posting after the first week.. you didn’t say how long was your relationship but I think you should do at least 30 days.. Be active in healing and improving yourself.. If you were needy then he has to see that you have your own life..

  22. Anna

    October 8, 2016 at 6:13 am

    My ex broke off with me saying that he want to be alone. I did the no contact period and it has been a month or so. During NCP he unfriended me on social media, and did no attempt to contact me, also I found out that he went back for his ex girlfriend, they are not back together though, however I see they their comments on a post on Instagram and seems really fishy. I’d say they would be back together soon. This is the second time my ex broke up with me, and he always runs back for his ex, despite this time he stated strongly that even in the end it doesn’t work out for us, he will not go back for his ex and said he must go on with his life without her. What should I do now? Should I do first contact, or should I wait a bit more. Should I unfriend him on social media as well? Please help me out here thanks so much!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 10, 2016 at 3:16 pm

      Hi Anna,

      nope, don’t unfriend him.. approach like a normal first text after the no contact period.. because if you mentioned anything about him talking to his ex, you would look like you’re stalking his social media profile.

  23. Alicja

    October 7, 2016 at 1:24 am

    Hi , what about giving ”likes” under ex posts?? Can I during NoContact period liking something he put on his Fb Wall – I mean for exemple song Which I really like to listen ( and for sure he knos about it ) and in ”normal situation” I would give ”like” to this ..?? Thanks for response

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 7, 2016 at 4:04 pm

      Hi Alicja,

      if he said he doesn’t love you anymore, that more probably means he lost desire. There’s not guarantee that the no contact rule will work but it would be better if you try it. So, that you won’t look like you’re chasing him and that you start to heal and improve yourself. That means you can’t like his posts too. Just focus in improving yourself.. be active in posting in social media but don’t stalk his account.

  24. Natalie

    September 29, 2016 at 11:46 pm

    Just curious… Article talks about how to get your ex back with Facebook…. What if he deleted you as a friend? How would I use Facebook to get him back? Should I change my privacy settings?
    Also if a couple of his friends and family (not all) deleted me as a fb friend, does that mean my chances aren’t very good at getting him back?
    I’m obeying the no contact for the last week!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 1, 2016 at 1:53 pm

      Hi Natalie,

      Just keep your posts public.. Unfriending you doesn’t mean he won’t check it anymore. And that’s a more common move for him to take down the pics, because they are affecting him. So just focus in improving yourself.

  25. K4567

    September 28, 2016 at 11:24 pm

    My ex broke up with me a couple months ago, long story short, I was smack dab in the middle of no contact, 14 days going strong. The last time we had talked, I had told him I couldn’t sleep with him anymore (bad decision on my part to do so in the first place, I know). He acted cool and calm about it. So on the 14th day, he goes out of his way to send me a random message to say something short and hurtful to me. Out of anger, I responded. To which of course he falls back on “I was joking, don’t freak out for nothing”, although this isnt the first time this has happened since our break up. I let it go, and apologized for freaking out, as I have been dealing with a lot lately and in the moment wondered if I had been irrational. A couple days went by, and the more I thought about it, the more angry I became. And I deleted him from facebook as a result, which I honestly don’t regret. I initially wanted him back, but, I can not make sense of how he has been. Why would he go out of his way to say something hurtful to me, and after two weeks of not speaking? He’s the one who dumped me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 30, 2016 at 5:53 pm

      Hi K4567,

      I’m not sure.. But what did he say to you?

  26. Stephanie

    September 24, 2016 at 6:10 pm

    I was dating a guy for a month but we kept arguing over petty things and he broke up with me last week. I really like him a lot and I know this can work given another chance. We are still friends on social media but we haven’t texted each other in about a week. What should I do? I really want to get back with him

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 25, 2016 at 9:30 am

      Hi Stephanie,

      do you want to try what’s advised above? And if you are going to do the no contact rule, you can just do 21 days.

  27. jane

    September 7, 2016 at 8:31 am

    Hi. unfortunately when I was mad at him I unfriended him on facebook but I know he will check me sometimes and I mad my instagram profile public so he can check my pictures. however I wanted to unfriend him because I had the urge to check him often

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 8, 2016 at 8:29 am

      Hi Jane,

      If that’s what he really helps you stop checking him, go ahead.

  28. Jane

    July 20, 2016 at 10:49 am

    Hello! I was 7 mos. pregnant when my x left for his job abroad. Despite of the distance difference, we managed to have a good relationship. However, after a week of giving birth last feb, his mom and I had a big fight and I was so hurt that he didn’t understand me and why he didn’t defended me and our baby when it’s obvious that his mom was the one who was at fault. Out of my emotion, I told him things that had hurt him and his ego. After that fight, he changed into someone whom I didn’t expect he could be. He became very cold to me, he stopped being sweet, caring and everything.. he stop calling me the way he used to call me and everytime I tell I love him or i miss him.. i got no response. I failed to handle his new treatment so we always fight. I tried hard to fix everything, I even begged because I want us to go back to the old us, but things became worst. We’re supposed to get married next year, but he changed his mind. 10 days ago, i found out he has a gf there. It was very painful because I never thought he could do it. Weve been together for 3 years and we have a baby, and were supposed to get married. After finding out that he cheated on me, I just told him that I was hurt because I love him so much, and if he’s happy with her than with me and our baby, I’m letting him go.
    After that, I logged out from fb and never contacted him. He didnt tried to contact me too. I really dont know what to do. I really want him back. I want to give my baby a complete family. But how can I do it? He have a new gf. Should I go back to facebook?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 21, 2016 at 4:12 pm

      Hi Jane,

      nope, now is not the right time to go back to facebook… continue in no contact

  29. Angela

    July 11, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    So here’s my question- My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago – I tried to break up with him first (or i wanted to take a break up because my life is kinda complicated and I needed to focus on other things – things which he’s well aware of) Then he got angry and hung out with a girl without us completely breaking up. It was not cool. We had a huge fight. Afterwards he tried calling me and messaged me (not immediately). I replied once then I got angry at myself and blocked him from my phone and messaging. For 2 months there was no contact between us and then he suddenly tried to follow my instagram account (i didn’t accept) and liked one of my pics on fb. I made no move whatsoever. I know that he’s hanging out with this girl though(she’s like 15 years younger by the way) Anyways he just unfriended me and 5 of my friends on fb. Not sure what to do. We had a great connection and I loved him(we were together for a year) I feel like he got mad and did it impulsively. Not sure what to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 12, 2016 at 1:51 pm

      Hi Angela,

      it can be just his way to get your attention..have you started being active in imoroving yourself?

  30. Impulsive

    July 4, 2016 at 9:48 pm

    Hi, just a quick question regarding facebook.
    As soon as the fight was over, I blocked him which also unfriends.
    Sending a friend request seems like contact to me. Do I still send it,
    or hope that he sends one to me? and if he does and I say yes, isn’t that like
    responding? I’ve already unblocked him, I did that
    the same day I blocked him. I’m not far into the NC, only a couple/few days.
    Also, what about likes? I assume liking his stuff is out, but what about liking
    stuff he’s liked? BTW, temporary LDR.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2016 at 5:29 am

      Hi impulsive,

      yep, liking and sending requests should be after nc

  31. Louise

    July 1, 2016 at 8:58 pm

    I told my ex I have a date with somebody and he replied with good luck. He has since mentioned it and I regret it deeply. I’ve been in no contact for 6 days do I have a chance of getting him back? Or have i don’t too much damage

    1. Louise

      July 1, 2016 at 10:10 pm

      Can I also add after texting him to get back with me multiple times I accused him of using me for sex and that he wasn’t very good at it. I apoligised within minutes I was just so angry I think I’ve overstepped the mark and have no chance of gettin him back.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 3, 2016 at 2:36 pm

      relax.. since you apologized he knows you’re just angry

  32. Anonymous

    June 28, 2016 at 8:56 am


    My boyfriend broke up with me last Sunday, he said I deserve better and that he doesn’t make me happy which is just an excuse for something he’s not telling me. (I think) i begged and begged for him, cried and pleaded for the first three days, to which he agreed to see me so I went out to breakfast and he hugged and kissed me and we talked for hours, we both cried upon leaving, he was very upset but still didn’t change his mind. After that, I stopped, and I’ve begun no contact because I came across your website. I’ve been doing no contact since Thursday essentially, and I’m really struggling. Everyday I am so close to contacting him. I have not heard anything from him at all, not a single message or any thing. Do you think I have any chance at getting him back? He is all I want in the world, and really am desperate to get him back!
    Please help!


    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2016 at 11:13 am

      Hi Anonymous,

      make him want you back by improving yourself.. are you now?

  33. Nat

    June 19, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    Hi. My boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago beacuse he find out that I sent nude pictures to other boy. I did that because I saw many things of him flirting but he never accepted it. I just wanted to stop suffering by making the same. After that, I begged a lot and cryed. Also I had lots and lots of sex with him, but he always told me that he loves me, but after what I did he can’t never be back with me. It has been almost a week that I don’t talk to him. What can I do? He’s the love of my life. Almost three years together. All my life plans where with him included.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 21, 2016 at 6:31 pm

      Hi Nat,

      Correct me if I’m wrong, You flirted with another guy because your ex was always flirting with other girls?

      Hmm.. You have to start to do active nc.. YOu have to start the count right after you read this because, I think you have started the activities to heal and improve before this right? and you should read this posts:

      EBR 030: What To Do If You Sleep With Your Ex Boyfriend

  34. Nikki

    June 2, 2016 at 8:25 pm


    So i broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago. I did not know about this no contact rule and sent him several messages. Our contacts are basically through facebook because we are having a distance relationship. I notice he keeps liking my previous posts and tagging me into photos and send me some facebook messages. I did not post anything on facebook recently. Do you think I should? Both of us are Admins of a cultural group on facebook. After breaking up with him, I stopped posting on it. Do you think I should start again?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 12, 2016 at 8:38 am

      Hi Nikki,

      why did you break up with him? You said he keeps sending you messages? Have you read those messages?

  35. Jeanette

    May 31, 2016 at 8:48 pm

    An male friend/lover hasn’t initiated a text conversation since the end of March. I’ve texted him three times to see how he’s doing. He responded in a timely manner each time but didn’t keep the conversation going. His responses were that he’s under pressure this time of year, he’s been busy ( yet I see him on FB a lot). He’s also proceeded to like almost all of my fb posts, and pics. I really don’t know how to handle the situation. I’ve been doing no contact on him, but he doesn’t seem to realize or care. I haven’t contacted him in three weeks and I haven’t liked any of his posts on fb. I have chat off so he can’t see when I’m on fb. Any help as to what to do next would be great.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 1, 2016 at 1:47 am

      Hi Jeanette,

      you were not actually together? You said he didn’t like your posts, so I’m going to assume you’re active in improving yourself. Try to do a little jealousy moves now

  36. Unsure

    May 31, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    I did NC for about 7 weeks and in the middle I unfriended my ex. I tried to text him following the texting guidelines for about a week, but he seemed pretty uninterested so I am doing NC. I feel like if I friend him again on fb, it is obvious I am still pining. He is not someone who would ‘like’ posts often. Technically, he can see me on Instagram still but I don’t know if he is actively checking that–I know from mutual friends he has noticed that I unfriended him though. I think it shows he at least actively searched for me, since there’s no other way of knowing if you’ve been removed. Is fb really going to help me in this situation? I don’t want to add him back randomly.. what do you suggest I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 1, 2016 at 1:24 am

      Hi Unsure,

      if you didn’t block him and you don’t want to add him back yet, just adjust the settings of your posts in Facebook that it can be seen by public, not just your friends.

    2. Unsure

      June 1, 2016 at 9:03 pm

      I think since he knew I unfriended him it would be unlikely for him to notice anything if I switch to public. What would be a proper time to re-friend him… or, what would give me a good probability of having him friend request me instead?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 12, 2016 at 3:29 am

      because we don’t know if he’s checking your posts or not, so it’s better to keep your profile public instead.

      Pick a current event topic that he’s interested in, so that it’s more natural..

  37. confused

    May 28, 2016 at 5:38 pm

    its been almost 2 weeks since my fiancé left me, he said i was too jealous and he needs time, time to reflect. he is mad at me but is very hot and cold, on some days he will text me and encourage me to continue my positive changes, other days he is mad at me that i need to give him his money that he saved up for our wedding , he said he needs the money because he is having a hard time right now. i told him i was going to give it to him soon, maybe next week when i can cash it out. but was really mad at me, i made a mistake and try to convince him to work things out he resisted, he said stop talking about other stuff and that he needs his money. i felt he was being so rude so i just stopped texting him wednesday afternoon. today is saturday afternoon and i have not text him since then,. an hour ago i posted a video of me and my son on my son’s fb and he liked it within 5 minutes. an hour after he texted me to encourage me to continue with my workout routine (something that we did together everyday before)… I have not responded to his text… why is he being mean then semi nice. is he just tying to get me to text him back so he can ask about his money again? i told him i would give it to him soon when i can cash it out.. or does he geniunly miss me? it’s only been i guess i can say around almost 3 days NC, i’ve tried the NC before but had only lasted 2 days, this time would be the longest so far… should i just ignore his encouragement text to stay on track with NC or should i reply something to him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 30, 2016 at 2:16 pm

      Hi Confused,

      You’ll have to do a limited nc..You need to assure him that you’ll pay him.. update him but only talk about that..

  38. Nichola

    April 30, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    My boyfriend left me & moved out less than a week ago. We text very briefly afterwards, and now I am on the 2nd day of No Contact. My facebook account is closed as I rarley used it but I know my ex is on there.. should I re open my facebook so I can show him my life without him during the NC period or wait until the end of the time period to reopen it? Or do I create a new more interesting profile & create it public as he may look for it? I worry if he see me back so soon with my old profile he will think I only do it to try win him back and that it could ruin any chance of us getting back together.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2016 at 2:20 pm

      HI Nichola,

      it’s better if you open your old account and proceed to posting your activities there.. as long you’re not messaging him and you’re not captioning your post related to the break or to him, you’re good.. make it seem like you’re moving on..

  39. May

    April 22, 2016 at 3:51 am

    I love this post. I am using Facebook techniques. However the reason we broke up is not because we don’t love each other. It was because of the long distance relationship since he lives in UK and I live in Singapore. I am now doing No Contact Rules. However, he still likes my pics on facebook. I must admit – I have other guyz coming in my life after the break up. I just received a bouquet from one of the guyz who like me . I posted on facebook by saying “I love roses” without indicating who gave me and stuff.
    Is it a good move of making my ex jealous ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 23, 2016 at 10:36 am

      Hi May,

      yep it is!

  40. Alice

    April 10, 2016 at 2:45 pm

    I’m really taking this to heart. I haven’t changed my profile picture but that’s because it’s one that shows me in working and used for a lot of my job applications as well. I’m putting up status’ of when I go out with friends and do so great stuff and about to change my background picture to when we were doing delayed photography and we spelt out my name with sparklers. Totally cool. And the only reason I don’t take photos is that my camera is of very low quality and just makes everything in the photo look terrible – especially me!. The only time I deviated from the positive and I’m enjoying life social updates was when I asked for advice on a subject at uni. The thing is I don’t know if this is going to work. My ex is very private on his Facebook. And when I mean private I mean PRIVATE! Total control over who sees what, no one is allowed on his wall, no one can look him up without him adding you as a friend first, has the highest security measures in place so you can’t even see if he’s viewing your pages, does not like or message anyone or on anything at all and does not allow tagging unless its him who does it. Honestly, I think he only uses messenger on his phone so he won’t see my Facebook at all. So, even if I go out with girlfriends or some of my male friends I can’t even tell if he’s caring or not. There are only 2 people we have as ‘mutual friends’. One who is more my contact but has ended our friendship (glad it’s over to be honest. Very poisonous relationship) and the other who is his friend and I only speak 5 words to every week due to classes. So its not like I can use them to sneakingly send him information or even fathom them sending information to him. I’ve got 8 more days left of no contact and am feeling so much better than I was 3 weeks ago. Never thought that would happen. Now the only reason I’m crying is due to stress!

    Anyway… kinda ranting there.

    There is nothing really more I can do to try and prove I’m doing well without him is there? Just seeing what I can do to get a final boom on my ‘I’m-enjoying-being-me’ month to post on Facebook.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 11, 2016 at 6:41 am

      You’re doing great Alice! Just keep it up so no worries!

  41. Holly

    April 8, 2016 at 11:01 pm

    Life is too short to spend SO MUCH TIME on the Internet (FB and other social media debacles) when most people have lost touch with the world and reality. Go out and actually EXPERIENCE what real life is like……jeez….FB isn’t real life.

  42. Olivia

    March 30, 2016 at 12:09 am

    Update: No contact worked.
    30 months to the day after I initiated no contact (with someone I never thought would have the balls to contact me after he ghosted on me) he did. I was skeptical because not only was it a short relationship , but we also were intimate and it was long distance and he has some issues and When he ghosted. everything pointed towards this guy just isn’t that Into you and he’s a douche. I thought I’d never hear from him again.

    I took the advice of the moderators and the website and just ignored him liking my fb posts about my personal achievements over the last month (it was difficult and infuriating ) . I took the high road and didn’t really react to anything and just pretended he didn’t exist basically.

    I haven’t responded to him contacting me because the one thing no contact has given me is distance and clarity . I still have feelings and emotion but I’m not ruled by them anymore so I’m not chomping at the bit to talk to this guy at all. and I think I can wait a few more days to respond to this fool. To be honest I don’t even think I would want him back now!
    It’s funny because I know he’s talking to another girl yet still contacted me. So No contact works even if they replaced you with a rebound.

    When I do respond I’m just going to act like nothing happened and be nice and short .

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 3, 2016 at 7:01 am

      That’s good Olivia! Thanks for giving us a feedback.

  43. Deb

    March 28, 2016 at 1:06 am

    Chris, my previous profile picture of us is still shown under the “recent photos” of my ex-boyfriend’s page. Should I delete the picture altogether? Should I leave it as is so that he still sees it when he checks my/his page?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 3, 2016 at 4:08 am

      Hi Deb,
      sorry for the late reply. Don’t delete the picture. It would really be hard with ldr. You have to have time, money and a plan for it to work. If you’re going to try nc, you should start being friendly after but don’t mention about the option of getting back together. YOu would appear to be waiting and chasing.

  44. Abigail

    March 24, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    Hey Chris, I made a mistake of messaging him a few days and then it ended up turning into a call, at first it seemed like nothing happened and that we were still dating, then he got angry when I asked if he was feeling better (happy) then he said i got to call you later. Then after the call we started messaging back and forth joking around and then another call started. He continued the joking around and then I asked him what is with all of the mix messages lately? he got angry and said ” How am I the one sending mixed messages when your the one who keeps coming up to me and saying hi, two days ago you were angry with me and now you want to talk to me?!” …. You see he broke up with me because he said it felt more of a long distance relationship (But I saw him all the time during school and when he was free but he would ditched plans for his buddies) At first he asked for a break and I didnt give him a answer right away because I was questioning him what was the reason then later that day I said “I’m willing to give you the break you need we can meet up next week and go from there” then he said that he doesn’t want a break and I asked ” so are you breaking up with me”.. (this whole conversation he was balling his eyes out and i ended up comforting him) he said ” i think so… Im so sorry im sorry over and over again” he also said he started to lose feelings for me and didn’t want to continue if he kept losing feeling for me and i kept getting more and more attached. Right away after he said ” i think so” he kept saying ” lets just call it a break lets just call this a big break.. i dont know how long but lets call it a break” . three days later I dropped off his stuff at his house and he was angry and defensive but his eyes would start to water during the conversation and it ended with him hugging me and saying that he still loves me and cares for me, itll be okay. … so on the weekend of that week that whole messaging thing happened and was wondering if there is a chance that the break up was a mistake to him, or if its a break to him, and why would he pretend like nothing is wrong and then get mad the next on Facebook messaging but act the way he does in person. is there a chance of getting him back through Facebook?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 1, 2016 at 3:04 pm

      HI Abigail,

      Have you talked everything through now?

  45. Jennifer

    March 22, 2016 at 8:37 pm

    After starting no contact I unfriended my ex on facebook.
    I talked with a friend and he said it made him went crazy after his ex had done that. And since I was so mad I unfriended him.

    I now have some nice pictures and videos that even other people posted on my board. Someone even posted a “<3"
    I also know that he still "likes" the page of my sports-group, which recently posted a video in which I was in

    Is there still hope for using facebook?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 31, 2016 at 11:17 am

      HI Jennifer,

      I’m sorrry for the late reply I’ll check on Chris if there are any other way than credit card. You can try to reply the next day with the cliffhanger text and do what you used to do. I hope everything goes well 🙂

  46. Sarah

    March 22, 2016 at 3:36 pm

    Hi, do you mind if I ask you a question? I was in a relationship with a guy a year and a half ago. I ended up breaking it off and deleted him on facebook. I’ve pretty much been regretting it ever since. I’ve dated some people here and there but none of them come close to the first guy. I just found out he’s single again (he was in a pretty serious relationship) and I’d love to start up a conversation. Would it strange if I add him again? Or should I just send him a message first to see if he even replies?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 31, 2016 at 9:37 am

      Hi Sarah,
      It depends, adding him and then doing nothing can just leave him thinking or maybe he’ll just shrug it off or message you after that. If you message him first, then it will depend on what you sent as first contact. The simpler the message, the less awkward it will be.