A few years ago I noticed an interesting phenomenon with my clients.

It seemed as if exes would want them back after they moved on or gave up.

Until recently I was always a little confused as to why this was but I’ve recently stumbled across three scientific explanations that can not only explain why but can also help us understand why strategies like the no contact rule work so well.

Today I’m going to explain to you why exes seem to come back after you move on or ignore them.

Let’s begin.

The Three Reasons Exes Come Back After You Move On

There are three big reasons that can explain why exes are drawn to you after you’ve appeared to move on.

Those reasons are,

  1. They grow interested because of the uncertainty principle
  2. They are drawn to you because of reactance
  3. The Zeigarnik Effect creates an open loop they need to close

Like always, I’d be shocked if you knew everything I am talking about.

What I’d like to do now is take each one of these scientific concepts (because that’s really what they are) and dissect them so you can understand how they correlate to your ex growing interested in you when you ignore them or move on.

Concept #1: Your Ex Growing Interested In You Because Of The Uncertainty Principle

The uncertainty principle is without a doubt one of the most underrated principles in ex recovery.

So, what is it?

Great question!

The Uncertainty Principle: Is a scientific theory designed to help us understand how people react to certain conditions and uncertain conditions.

Perhaps the thing that the uncertainty principle is most popular for is their “rat maze” experiment.

People loved it when I talked about it in my YouTube video above,

So, what is the rat experiment?

Well, scientists wanted to discover how rats reacted to attempting to get cheese by completing two different mazes.

One was very complicated and presented all kinds of uncertain conditions,

The other wasn’t very complicated at all and presented certain conditions,

The results were fascinating.

As it turns out the rat that had the easy maze went over to sniff the cheese and didn’t really eat it for a long time.

On the flip side the rat that had to endure the difficult maze with all kinds of uncertainty devoured the cheese upon finding it.

Why?

Well, scientists theorized that because the rat invested time and energy into getting the cheese the rat cherished the reward more than the rat who knew it had a sure thing.

As it turns out this behavior is mirrored in human beings when it comes to breakups.

This article is all about exes showing interest after you have moved on or ignored their attempts to talk to you.

In other words, at first your ex was probably operating under the assumption that they could get you back whenever they wanted.

They thought you were a sure thing.

However, by “moving on” you indicated to them that you weren’t a sure thing.

That uncertainty raises your value.

Concept #2: They Are Drawn To You Because of Reactance

I talk a lot about the concept of reactance to my coaching clients.

And half the time I feel like it goes in one ear and out the other. I’m not saying that to upset anyone I’m just saying it to show you how undervalued I think this concept is.

If you didn’t know,

Reactance: Refers to how people respond when their behavior freedoms become threatened.

Scarcity and reactance kind of walk hand in hand.

Every year the world practically becomes capsized by the concept of “Black Friday.”

Essentially everything in stores is on sale but only for a certain amount of time.

This little “sale” results in behavioral reactions like this,

Everyone jumping over themselves to get the sale.

But what if I were to tell you that the idea of Black Friday only works because of “reactance.”

By limiting one resource human beings will react to obtain it.

Reactance teaches us that when humans have their behavior freedoms threatened they will fight, scratch and claw to get that freedom back.

This is often my big talking point when I am trying to prove to someone that the no contact rule is working but it’s also a great talking point for explaining why exes “suddenly” become interested after it appears to them that you have moved on.

Think about it.

By moving on your ex will believe that any potential future that the two of you had together is gone forever.

The freedom of that future, even if they weren’t totally interested in it, jerks them into reacting.

Concept #3: The Zeigarnik Effect Creates An Open Loop They Need To Close

The Zeigarnik Effect is another huge talking point you’ll hear me rambling about on this website.

Put simply, the zeigarnik effect states that human beings remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks better than completed ones.

I’d like to put you through an interesting little thought experiment that I think will highlight this point perfectly.

Pretend for a moment that you invite me to your house,

Now, you let me into your house and as you go to close the door I prevent you from doing so by asking you all kinds of questions.

I then proceed to lead you away from the open door and continue the conversation in a different room.

While I’m talking one thought invades your mind.

I need to close that door and I need to close it as soon as possible.

Your brain keeps coming up with all kinds of scenarios that could potentially come true and they consume your every thought.

Eventually you hit the boiling point and you absolutely have to close the door no matter what.

Why did your brain go through that rigorous process of obsessing about the open door?

Because it was an interrupted task.

This is the zeigarnik effect at work.

Breakups are often left with business unfinished.

One party typically wants to break up more than the other party and as time goes by that fact just gnaws at them. This is especially true if your ex believes he or she didn’t get the proper closure after the breakup.

By moving on you indicate that, that unfinished business will never be completed.

It can drive them nuts and they can react by trying to impress you or win you back.

Recap And Comments

I want you to ask questions.

I want you to be able to get the answers that you deserve. So, please do not be afraid to comment.

I WILL ANSWER YOU!

Ok, lets do a quick recap of everything that I covered in todays article.

  • Moving on and having an ex try to win you back is pretty common
  • There are three concepts that really are responsible for this.
  • The uncertainty Principle
  • The idea of reactance
  • The zeigarnik effect

Again, I want to reiterate that I expect and want you to comment and ask me your questions. I’m usually very good about responding to people within 24 hours.

So, don’t be afraid.

Also, if you haven’t already watched my video on this topic I’d make sure to do that in tandem with this article.

38 thoughts on “Why Exes Come Back After You Move On”

  1. Avatar

    Jazmine

    February 18, 2019 at 1:51 am

    My ex & I haven’t talked in 3 weeks since the break up. I’ve been doing better… (finally) I did pretty much everything wrong at first.. begged.. made myself look like an idiot but then I gave up. He hasn’t texted me and I CERTAINLY wont text him & don’t plan on it. So proud of myself for being strong and taking your advice to leave it be.. I thought he forgot about me honestly.. but then my friend called me today.. she ran into him and he rambled on about me for a while.. good things and bad things (to a best friend?).. even said exactly how many days we haven’t talked… like he’s counting? what? Could no contact be getting to him or am I just being too hopeful? The break up was all him & I didn’t want it at all!

  2. Avatar

    Sean

    February 13, 2019 at 10:23 pm

    I broke up with my ex gf because she cheated on me. I cought her with someonelse…after 3 months of breakup, i met my highschool sweetheart and we started dating. When i thought i’m ok with my ex, i became confused because my ex text me and she said she misses me. She want me back really bad and willing fix things. I don’t know what to do because my highschool sweetheart has a feelings for me…i i really need your opinion on this one…btw my highschool sweetheart is a single mom. She’s so wonderful…it’s just that i wanted to give my ex a shot but i’m scared and i don’t want to hurt my highschool sweetheart because she told me that she loved me.

  3. Avatar

    Katelyn

    February 3, 2019 at 10:05 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I broke up with my bf of 1 1/2 years about a month ago, we met up 2 weeks ago so I could get some closure and explain myself which ended up with him telling me various other reasons why our relationship won’t work, in his opinion. He told me to date other people, which really hurt. We haven’t contacted each other since (2 weeks) I’m lost as to what to do now. And when I should reach out, if at all.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 4, 2019 at 3:49 am

      Hi Katelyn!

      I know it hurts when a guy says something as insensitive as “go date other people”. I do think you should look at implementing No Contact. Feel free to tap into my Program to learn more about how to best do it!

  4. Avatar

    OLGA

    January 18, 2019 at 11:50 am

    Forgot to mention that we have been together for 4 years

  5. Avatar

    OLGA

    January 18, 2019 at 11:47 am

    Hi Chris, thank you so much much for your videos.
    Me and my girlfriend were together for 4 years. (same sex relationship).
    We have broken up twice in the past but got back together again.
    But, two and a half months ago we broke up because she found out that I cheated on her (once, that actually meant nothing). The last 1 and and half month I trully apologised to her, promised it will never happen again, I would do anything to fix this, begged etc. She always said NO but I could easy tell how devastated she looked, would’t stop crying saying that she loves me but doesn’t want to be with me, that she had imagined us growing old together, living together. Since then I kept contact with her with text msgs, she always replied and we even met twice (even though at first she was negative she finally end up accepting to see me).
    Ten days ago I sent her a long and very very emotional text msg telling her that I love her and that I will be there for her, that I believe in people who fight everyday to be together, I believe in us and that I want to spend my life with her BUT at the end of the msg I told her that I was not going to beg, chase or contuct with her again and that if she wanted all the above, lets not lose any more time. The next day we met after se proposed it. She was still negative in getting back together. Then, after that she called me twice during the next day to check up on me how I was doing after a small injury I had. Then I follow radio silence. It’s been 10 days!!
    I could really use some advised here Coach!!
    Sorry for my long msg.
    Thank you very much,
    Olga

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 18, 2019 at 3:49 pm

      Hi Olda! Glad you are enjoying the videos. Looks like you have started No contact. Be sure to do it the way I teach it in my Program. Pick up one of my Guides or eBooks to come up to speed on the whole process!

  6. Avatar

    Samantha

    January 18, 2019 at 8:12 am

    I was on 26th days nc and he wishes me happy new year and then commented on my social media post . I responded. He was still with the new gf. When we started talking, i told him i still wanted him back. We argued and i started flooding of long rambling. Je was never angry and still help me with the resume. He is still very sorry for the hurt. I cant find anytjing on the net with regards to this…. he dont wanna break with his gf and he still contact me and even i scolded him and he still care for me.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 18, 2019 at 3:51 pm

      Hi Samantha. So it looks like your Ex still is caught up between what is most important to him. You might consider extending No Contact or you could try the “Being There” method.

  7. Avatar

    olga

    January 10, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    Dear Coach Good Day,
    Two and a half months I cheated on my girlfriend (same sex relationship) and we broke up really baddly.
    At first she said she never wanted to see me again, then after me making the first move we echanged some sms and had some long lasting phonecalls. We also met twice.
    She is the person who never posts anything on facebook or other social media but now posts in public on fb and also posts on instagram where before our break up her uploads were zero.
    Despite the fact that she has blocked me on social media she knows that i am able to see her posts.
    Her words are that she loves me but doesn’t want to be with me, but her actions are a little bit confusing.
    Could you please give me an advise??

    Thank you in advance,
    Olga

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 11, 2019 at 12:41 am

      Hi Olga!

      Good day to you! I know cheating can really turn relationships upside down. But those deep wounds can be healed with the right approach and plan. I remember answering you in my support email!

  8. Avatar

    Jennifer

    January 6, 2019 at 4:44 am

    Hey Chris,

    My ex bf broke up with me last week and he just deleted all of our photos from instagram and started following girls (models and people we both know). Does that mean I should stop fighting for him? I am doing NC

    Thanks

  9. Avatar

    Jennifer

    January 5, 2019 at 10:32 pm

    Hey chris,
    My ex bf who broke up with me started following girls who we both know on Instagram, does this mean he is not interested in me anymore?
    Thanks in advance

  10. Avatar

    Savannah

    December 30, 2018 at 3:39 pm

    Hey! I love your blog and was wondering if you could give me some guidance on my current situation. My boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me a little over a month ago. We are both seniors in high school this year so as high school is coming to a close, I could tell my ex was becoming more and more confused about where his life was going. He was about to enlist in the army, and still is planning to I believe, but I was prepared to at least attempt to stick with him and do long distance while I stay in my hometown for college. Long story short, we were doing great (or at least I thought so) and hadn’t argued in months when all of a sudden he went to Florida, we hadn’t seen each other in like 4-5 days, and he broke up with me over the phone. I’ve been using this last month to improve myself, both physically and emotionally, but I still miss him and think about him very often. I hadn’t talked to him in weeks until I texted him saying I hoped he felt better upon hearing he had the flu on christmas and while I just expected him to respond with thank you, he went on to say he thought about me while at the mall (somewhere we used to go) a few days back. This struck me by surprise as it didn’t appear to me like he cared due to previous conversations we had. After that message though, as the conversation went further, he started sending short responses and acting as though he did not wish to speak to me again. He is very hot and cold with the way he acts towards me so it makes me super confused as to if he misses me and will eventually try to come back, or stand his ground and remain single.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 30, 2018 at 11:12 pm

      Hi Savannah!

      So glad you enjoy the blog! A lot of guys can be hot and cold for lots of reasons….immaturity….uncertainty…game playing…etc. He probably is not sure of how feelings. Just don’t press too much. If he has interest, he will signal it eventually. Keep doing things to raise your self up!

  11. Avatar

    Lily

    December 28, 2018 at 4:04 am

    Hi Chris

    I love your website and content!

    my boyfriend (28 years old) and I (27) broke up about 7 weeks ago. We both live in Australia, but he is back home to apply for his new visa. We did long distance for about 2,5 weeks before he called me after I couldn’t get a hold of him for 3 days, and said he didn’t know if he wanted to be in a relationship, if he loved me or when he was coming back to Australia. We talked for about an hour where he cried obsessively and was almost hyperventilating. I was completely calm and said that if he doesn’t know anything at this moment and if he feels the relationship weights him down then we should break up. He said he still really cared about me and misses me but didn’t want to drag me along. I have been in NC ever since, but I sent him a clean slate message basically just saying I wish him the best cause I only want him to be happy. He has not read the message so a bit unsure what that means.

    Since the breakup I have just focused on myself and ways to improve. I was very needy in the relationship towards the end so I have therefore really worked on this, as well as reconnected with my dad I hadnt spoken to for about 18 years. I have worked out, gotten a new haircur and color, graduated university, started my own business and gone on some dates, and made some new friends. I have made sure to post pictures on facebook of my new very happy life. have really enjoyed this period of self-focus.

    He has told mutual friends of us he still really cares about me, and “still love me in his own way” (not sure what that means), and but that it just didn’t feel right in his heart, he has told several of our friends this. We have a lot of mutual friends so I make an effort to be very happy and not speak about my ex around them as I know words travel fast.

    We were together for almost 9 months. The beginning of the relationship was absolutely amazing, we connected on so many levels. He unfortunately really struggled with his job and had a big debt problem which he really tried to work on, but it really brought him down. He got into a depression, and towards the end of the relationship he began drinking a lot and began acting out in a way neither me nor his friends had seen before. I urged him to go back home to see close friends and family so hopefully he will get back on his feet.

    We havnt spoken since, but he checks every single story I post on facebook, no liking or anything like that, just sees my stories. If I post 5 stories he will check through them all.

    I am really unsure how to move forward, or even whats going on in his head. Thank you for any reply 🙂

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 29, 2018 at 4:43 am

      Hi Lily!

      Glad you are soaking it all up! She should be proud of yourself for how you have focused on being a better “you”. It seems that you ex needs time to put things right in his life so that he will be ready when you choose to reach out to him. And if and when you do, follow the game plan I describe in my comprehensive eBook, EBR PRO and elsewhere on my website!

  12. Avatar

    Laura

    December 17, 2018 at 5:46 pm

    Hi Chris and all,
    Thank you for your help, your website has been a great source of information and advice to me. I’ve split up with my on again/off again ex of 4 years. I have always used NC successfully, longest time 6 weeks. This time I broke it after 3 weeks, drunk texting, followed by sex. I feel really bad after it and knew it was a huge mistake. I asked for clarification of where we are, I was told we would be mad to get back together. Of course if feels different this time like he has someone else to move on to and he’s not worried about me.
    My point is the Uncertainty Principle I don’t think will work as I’ve used NC so often. Also with the Reactance Concept would that involve the use of social media?
    We talked that night we met about the breakup so the Zeigarnik Effect is gone.
    The on again/off again situation has really affected me. During NC working on myself, internally and externally but always at the back of my mind that I could use it to get him back.
    Really at this stage I think I should just focus on myself and move on.
    Any thoughts?
    Thank you,
    Laura.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 17, 2018 at 10:43 pm

      Hi Laura…that is wise that you recognize the healing potential embedded in the NC principle.

  13. Avatar

    Pilar Covington

    December 16, 2018 at 6:02 am

    I wasn’t good at following the zeigarnik effect largely in part because I didn’t stubble upon this article sooner. This makes me very anxious and worried that NC won’t work because I tried to dig for closure right after I broke up with my ex. We argued about it and that basically closed the door. I wish I had started NC right after I said we needed space. That would have kept the door open and he would be stuck wondering why I wasn’t following up. Will NC still work ?????

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 16, 2018 at 4:27 pm

      Hi i Pilar…I think so. If you need more help, pick up my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” or “Pro” to help you along.

  14. Avatar

    Michelle

    December 13, 2018 at 11:06 am

    Hi Chris everything you’re saying in your reform recovery plan makes sense except it doesn’t address any issues about domestic violence my boyfriend and I were together for two months almost three months and during the first two months he was amazing he pulled me and my daughter who is 3 years old out of a homeless situation and I was in a domestic violence situation before I met him so he knew the situation and pulled me 50 miles away from the city I was homeless and then brought me to the mountains. It was a very hasty decision I made considering I have a three-year-old but I took a chance because my situation got to the point where I was jumping from motel to motel and then sleeping on the street and I did not think that I could do this to my three-year-old anymore without putting her at risk for danger so I took the chance and I moved all my things 50 miles from where I stayed before and this man was amazing the first two months because of my jealousy and insecurity about another woman who I’m not sure if he cheated with or not he claims he did not and had no interest in her, it caused a lot of problems I continue to accuse him and he became more aggressive as I accused him more frequently about the other woman. A few days ago we had the same argument over the other woman and he came into the room and shove my face into the dresser holding onto my Harris are as he could and shaking me telling me to shut up I was able to push him off me whereby he pulled a shotgun that was encased and not loaded I don’t believe it was anyhow and the shells and the other hand and told me that if I don’t shut up he would shoot me the police were called and he was taken into custody this was an isolated incident of domestic violence violence Pro priors does he did not do anything to me but make me happy so happy and facts that I felt like I was it was too good to be true he took my daughter and I off the streets he provided everything that we needed and he literally went to the store to get me medicine even if I had a paper cut he was extremely attentive to me respectful never use bad language suddenly after my accusations and after stewing for 3 days and anger it was like he was a different person he does smoke marijuana on a daily basis but I don’t think that particular substance makes people aggressive I noticed there was a change in his demeanor the for 3 days prior or 3 days following the verbal altercation which led to the physical assault. He has since left the house I am stuck here with my three-year-old probably going to get evicted soon I have nowhere to go and I am homeless with my daughter once again I’m going through the situation once again a situation I was trying to trying to run away from which was a domestic violence initially. I don’t know if it’s too early to say that I fell in love with this guy after the second month it seems too early but he literally he and I were literally a team it was more than sexual attraction we have such a strong connection emotionally and as friends. We spoke about everything in our mind seemed to be Instinct he would always help me with my child whatever she needed and whatever I needed he would work so hard and any money that he made it was extra work you would give it to me and my daughter for diapers he would cause we buy our toys he would constantly do things to help me we literally were a team I miss him so much but I know that the right thing to do was to call the police to protect myself and my daughter again prior to this there were no incidences of violence this took me completely by surprise he was such an amazing person before this we got along so great we talked about everything and have excellent communication and now this happened and he won’t say a word to me I miss him why am I the one texting him when he’s the one that hurt me and put me and my daughter at risk. What do you recommend I do? He has since moved some things out of the house and left me behind at his house but I know probably getting served an eviction as I was a tenant and I wasn’t here that long

  15. Avatar

    Serena

    December 11, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    Hey Chris,

    I broke up with my ex in February which is a long time ago I suppose. We spoke on and off for ages and he messed me about wanted to be my friend didn’t, said so many mean things to me and then eventually he stopped talking to me. We spoke about a month ago and I tried finally to be his friend and he told me he had no desire and he didn’t want anything to do with me and that he didn’t need me as a friend. I was obviously hurt by this but I accepted it and felt guilty that I’d been really pushy for months and he literally said ‘don’t talk to me again and I mean it’. Well on Sunday I was with the new guy I am seeing and who pops up on my phone but him. He said ‘phone me ASAP’ and I couldn’t obviously and then when I did reply I said you have blocked my number if you unblock it I will to which he did and I tried to phone him later. No answer as he was sleeping. I woke up in the morning and he had read my message with no reply and I said what was it you wanted and he said. I was drunk and needed someone to talk to on the train home. I was absolutely spitting angry! What does this mean?! I don’t get why he’d try after he literally said to never contact him again. He ignored my message I sent after that and we haven’t spoken since. Should I just continue to move on the way I have been? It’s just very strange he could have phoned anyone but he phoned me. Definitely set me back!

  16. Avatar

    maurice

    December 11, 2018 at 1:13 am

    Hi Chris,
    my ex broke up with me more than a month ago via WhatsApp. We were together for almost 2 years, we met when he first came to study in Germany (I came here 4 years earlier to do my bachelor, we are from the same country). When he broke up with me he’s in our home country doing his master research (he still is until the point I’m writing this comment), we already had problems before his departure, mostly because of my jealousy and insecurity. I was hurt because he seemed to be hugely affected by the news of his ex getting married few months ago, and even though he already told me that it didn’t bother him anymore, it’s still bothering my mind. Anyway, our communication got worse days after he arrived in our home country. He said that he was busy with his research and I could understand that, but I think someone can’t be busy 24/7 right? So I nagged and nagged to the point that he couldn’t take anymore and he ignored me for more than a week. After that he wrote me just to break up with me and telling me that this relationship doesn’t work out. After I replied he just blocked me on WhatsApp. 2 weeks after that he unblocked me on everything and visited my LinkedIn profile. But then a week after that, there was a miscommunication between us (in which a friend of him was involved) and he wrote me that I should focus on my life and let him go, and he blocked me again on WhatsApp until now. I wrote him an email with some nasty words (telling him he’s a coward and some worse stuff) and he didn’t respond. That happened almost 3 weeks ago. Now I don’t know if he’s still angry at me or not (I’m still blocked and he apparently deactivates his FB and Instagram). What should I do? I really, really still love him.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 11, 2018 at 3:06 am

      Hi Maurice….so it sounds like things have gotten messy. You might want to consider a different approach. Employing no contact can provide many benefits. Go visit my home page and you will find a lot of resources that can help you in this endeavor.

  17. Avatar

    Jane

    December 9, 2018 at 10:09 am

    Hello Chris, wondering if renunciation is needed after a break up? I just posted back literally everything back to my ex (LDR). But wondering what’s ur opinion on renunciation. Cheers!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 10, 2018 at 12:58 am

      Not sure what you mean by renunciation. I am more of a fan of NC in a lot of situations

  18. Avatar

    Marie

    December 9, 2018 at 4:55 am

    We have been in a long term relationship for four years, but I have broken up with him 10 days ago coz I got upset over his behavior of not replying and communicating with me properly, usually span of 8 hours! But I saw in his FB account that he was liking a woman’s post on the very day we were together!! He has hurt me so much, and we have been in an on and off relationship for a year. I’m so tired of being the one adjusting to his time when in fact I’m the busiest person in our relationship. We have age gap of 16 years, and I’m the mature one. Started NC 10 days and counting from the day I broke up with him thru text!

  19. Avatar

    Melissa

    December 8, 2018 at 9:12 pm

    My ex and I dont follow each other on social media anymore but he still looks at my Instagram and watches my stories. This started about 2 weeks into me doing no contact. Should I hide my stories from him so he can’t see, or make my account private, or block him entirely? Im worried he won’t miss me as much or won’t feel like he’s missing out on my life and what/how I’m doing if he can check so easily.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 9, 2018 at 2:16 am

      HI Melissa! I usually recommend in my Program to keep the social media lines of communication open and leverage them to your advantage.

  20. Avatar

    Anonymous

    December 7, 2018 at 9:33 pm

    My ex and I have been in an on and off relationship for almost three years. I did no contact for 38 days, followed the text guidelines, and he’s been nice but not super responsive. He never starts the conversation. Finally I sent him a voice
    Memo (how we use to communicate) asking if he would want to catch up some time and he said he would think about it and that I sounded really good. Then he said that it is never just catching up with us because we still have feelings for each other and that makes it hard. His words. I’m wondering if I should respond and say I understand and just wanted to let him know that I’m moving in a few weeks and was hoping to catch up before I go or if I should just go no contact again. I do want him back but I’m also moving forward with my career plans I had before him that I’ve put on hold other times we were apart. The reason we broke up is because I had trust issues and pushed him away multiple times. I know he still loves me but he also doesn’t think that I can trust him. I realized what I’ve done and I told him calmly how wrong I had been viewing him and how surprised I was that he didn’t believe me. I know he just doesn’t want to waste anymore time because he doesn’t believe me that I do trust his feeling for me. I’ve said that in the past and then was still paranoid but truly this time I mean it. What’s my best move ?

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