This is it…

I can tell you in full confidence that this is going to be the best guide that I will ever write for this website. I haven’t even finished the first paragraph and I already know that this is going to be it. In fact, I am so confident that this guide is going to be great that I challenge you to go around the internet and find something better.

I am betting that you won’t.

What I say within the confines of these pages is going to be the most informative insight into ex boyfriends, husbands (or just men in general) ever written. Probably for the first time in your life you are going to see the TRUE mind of a man and what he finds attractive.

There are going to be sections in this guide that may be hard to read. You may get angry at some of the things I say and swear off this site for the rest of your life. The truth is that I don’t care if this guide rattles any cages. In fact, I aim to misbehave. Nothing gets accomplished (with your personal goals) if I feed you a spoonful of information that you want to hear.

So, consider this your first and FINAL warning. Every word that is written from this point on will be the information that you NEED to hear.

What Is The Ungettable Girl?

(To learn more about the Ungettable Girl and how you can use it to get your ex back click on this link: Ex Boyfriend Recovery E-Book.)

ungettable girl

Three women walk into a bar.

(For fantasies sake we will name these three women:)

  • Woman 1
  • Woman 2
  • Woman 3

The bar that these women will be walking into is just like any other bar found in the United States. This means that there are plenty of men occupying it.

Woman 1 will be walking into the bar first. We will classify her as an average looking woman with a great personality. As she steps foot into our “fake” bar no one notices. No men actively pursue her and she has a fun night out with her friends.

Woman 2 is going to be walking into our bar after Woman 1. I have decided that she is going to be a beautiful woman with a bad personality. When she enters the bar she gets a lot of attention. Men will actively pursue her. Of course, with her personality her prospects of a lasting relationship are not very high.

Last but not least is woman 3. This woman is the whole package. She is has the beauty and the brains. She is going to enter the bar and get a lot of attention just like Woman 2 did. Men will pursue her continually and since her personality is great she has a good chance of establishing a lasting relationship.

So, what was the point of this shallow example?

Simple, I wanted to get to the heart of what I consider an ungettable girl to be.

The Ungettable Girl- The highest quality girl that there is. She is both beautiful (physically) and has the personality to match her beauty. This type of girl is extremely rare and not every woman can achieve the “ungettable” status.

I want you to think of the “ungettable” status like an aura surrounding a person.

Now, I am sure that we are all adults here so my next statement shouldn’t upset you. Have you ever gone out (as a woman) and just admired the way another woman looked or acted?

Hey, I am as straight as a straight guy can get but even I have gotten jealous over the way another guy looked or how smooth he was with the ladies. It is just human nature.

This phenomenon is what I call the “ungettable” aura. Now, contrary to popular belief it is not something that you are just “born” with. It is obtained with a lot of practice and (I will be honest) some good genetics. I will be talking a lot about how looks play a role into the ungettable persona throughout this guide but for now I want to talk about how personality plays a role into the “ungettable.”

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Looks And Personality Are Equal In The Long Run

looks personality

I don’t want to avoid the fact that UG’s (ungettable girl) are very rare. A few weeks ago I was interacting with a reader of this site on Facebook. She was telling me how insightful she thought my writings on the ungettable girl was. She then proceeded to tell me that while she was out with a few of her male friends she ran the UG theory by them and they all agreed that it was true.

This made me think about her friends.

She told me that they were all male so I know how they think. Deep down I am not sure they truly understood what an ungettable girl is. You see, society places too much emphasis on looks. When most men hear about the UG they still don’t quite grasp the concept of what one actually is.

Throughout this site I have established that men are visual creatures by nature. So, I am sure that when my female fan explained the concept of the UG to her male friends they assumed it meant “the prettiest girl in the bar.”

The ungettable girl is so much more than that.

Look, I am not denying that looks play a HUGE role into an ungettable girl. In fact, there are some women that cannot achieve the legendary status because they don’t have the right look but those few women that do tend to run into an even greater problem, personality.

You see, looks are only one part of the UG equation. To me, and every man personality is truly what seals the deal.

As an adult male I can tell you that looks grab your attention but it is the personality that keeps it. One of my best friends in the world said it best:

Looks will get you in the door but your personality will keep you in the house.

The Ungettable Point System

(Learn more about the Ungettable Girl and how it relates to your ex boyfriend by checking out: Ex Boyfriend Recovery E-Book.)

I put a lot of thought into this system so I want you to listen up.

I have created a point system that will give you an idea of how much a personality truly matters to becoming an ungettable girl. Also, (for fun) you will be able to give yourself a score. Of course, it is impossible for everyone to be unbiased about themselves but I kind of built that little fact into the system.


I will explain that in a moment but first it is important that I explain the overall point system to you. Take a look at the graphic below:

ungettable point system

If you are confused by this graphic I wouldn’t be too shocked. Don’t worry if you stick with me everything will become clear.

Men typically grade women’s looks on a 10 point scale. For example, sometimes my buddies and I will be out and we will see a pretty girl walk into a bar and we will say something like:

“Hey, check out the 9 that just walked in.”

In other words, this is man speak for “a really beautiful girl just walked into the bar.”

Well, the ungettable point system outlined in the graphic above uses a 10 point system for both looks and personality. That means, we are assuming that in order to be a “true” ungettable girl your personality has to be just as good looking as you are ;).

Alright, the next thing I want to talk about in the graphic above are the four different categories I placed women into.

  1. The Ungettable Girl- Well you already know all about them ;).
  2. The High Quality Girl- A step below an UG. Most men would be happy dating one.
  3. The Average Girl- Probably the most common type of woman out there.
  4. The Below Average Girl- If you find yourself in this territory…. you have some work to do.

Lets talk about the actual point system. The graphic establishes that in order to be an UG you have to score between an 18 or a 20. In other words, that doesn’t leave a lot of room for error on your part. Lets assume that you are a 10 on the looks scale but only a 6 on the personality one. Well, I am sorry to break it to you but you aren’t an ungettable girl. Instead you are the lowest rank of a high quality girl.

I wanted to use this particular scoring because it can demonstrate how someone who is not as good looking as you can be a higher rank than you according to men. For example, someone who is an 8 on the looks scale but a 10 on the personality scale IS an ungettable girl.

Now, this raises an interesting question.

Who determines your rankings? Well, that would be other men of course.

Your looks rating is determined within seconds of meeting a man while your personality rating could takes months to truly determine. Oh, and in case you were wondering ALL men do this UG calculation in their heads. You see, we (men) are all striving to get that ungettable girl and we are grading you to see if you meet our standards for it.

Its quite an interesting concept if you really step back and take a look at the big picture. I mean, the way your face, body and body languge looks/is will determine the score for the “looks” portion. Meanwhile the way you act, the rapport you build and other personality factors will determine your “personality” score.

Of course, every man has a different definition of what he considers to be an ungettable girl. So, a woman that might score high on his scale might score poorly on another mans. It truly is “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

I have found that this scale can also work great for people who are looking for an explanation of why their ex broke up with them.

I prefer to look at the ungettable point scale as a living, breathing and changing thing. Lets pretend for a moment that you and I are dating. When we first started dating I scored you as a 19 on my scale. That means I gave you a 9 for looks and a 10 for personality. However, as the years went by I grew less and less attracted to you.

I will be the first to admit that looks very rarely change on a mans scale unless you gain a lot of weight or something crazy like that happens. It is the personality that can go up and down. So, initially you were a 19 when we first started dating but by year 3 of our relationship you dipped down to a 15.

While your looks didn’t change your personality according to me did. So, initially you were given a 10 on the personality scale but by the end of year three of the relationship you were downgraded to a 6. This little four point declined dropped you from being an ungettable girl to just an average one.

Eye opening isn’t it?

Interesting Truths About Looks

good looks

This is one of those sections that might potentially upset a few people.

So, what can I say about looks?

They matter!

In fact, they matter a lot. Anyone who tells you differently is either lying to you or doing you a great disservice. Throughout this section I may refer to the ungettable point system. I will be doing this because it will do a good job of outlining the things I would like to talk about here.

So, where should I start?

Not everyone can be an ungettable girl right out of the gate. Remember, you have to score between an 18 or 20 to become one. That means the lowest possible looks score you can have is an 8 out of 10. Again, that doesn’t leave a lot of room for error.

Here’s an interesting question. Why did I choose such a high score to become an ungettable girl? For one, it forces the person to become quality not only in looks but in personality as well. However, lets shift our focus solely to the looks portion of that score.

The simple fact of the matter is that an UG cannot be unattractive in any way physically. A guy doesn’t go out, see an average looking woman and say “wow, it’s an ungettable girl!” Sorry to break it to you but that just doesn’t happen. That may be a little hard for you to hear but don’t give up hope yet because there is still something that you can use to your advantage.

In order for me to explain this advantage we are going to have to take a few steps back.

One thing that I established with the ungettable point scale is that your looks rating is given to you in a matter of seconds and rarely ever goes up or down. Well, I would like to talk about one of the rare cases where it can actually go up.

Years ago I had just started dating this girl. My initial looks rating for her was a 7. That means that when I met her I immediately sized her up and gave her a 7. The two of us dated a total of 12 months. Throughout the course of those 9 months something interesting happened to her “looks” in my eyes.

Now, before I move on I need to make one thing clear. I am picky. I don’t even think words can describe how picky I am. Of course, I am generally a kind hearted person but when it comes to looks I can be just as cruel as the rest of the guys out there. I am telling you this to drive home the point that for a girl to move up in the looks scale for me is extremely rare.

However, this girl that I dated for 12 months did it and I am about to tell you exactly how.

When I look at all relationships I can generally put the time of the relationship into three different categories.

  1. The Honeymoon Period- The period right at the beginning of the relationship where your partner can do no wrong. Everything is like a dream and there are no fights at all.
  2. The Emotional Connection Period- This is where an emotional connection is either made or not made.
  3. The Downhill Period- The time after the emotional connection where things tend to go downhill, the couple either breaks up or if they were lucky enough to stay together throughout their relationship one person will die (gloomy huh?)

The way that this particular girl that I dated raised her looks rating was by establishing an intense emotional connection with me during the emotional connection period.

Our relationship lasted a total of nine months. The honeymoon period lasted 2 months while the emotional connection period lasted from month 3 to month 5.

So, what happened during months 3-5? Simple, this girl went from a 7 on the looks scale to a 10 and it was all because of this emotional connection I was feeling from her. I remember when it happened too. I was sitting on the couch with her at her house and I remember looking over at her and it was like seeing a beautiful girl for the first time.

Soon, her imperfections became her perfections and to me for that moment she became a perfect 10. The thought of it excited me. I remembered so clearly that I gave her a 7 when I first started dating her but now she was a perfect 10. It has been years since that moment so I have had a lot of time to think about why that happened to me.

I think that different rules are applied to women that you are in a relationship with. The deeper your emotional connection with them is the more you can look at them and get past their imperfections. This is something that is impossible to do when you are getting to know someone or meeting them for the first time.

Thus, the women reading this guide who have established deep emotional connections with their ex boyfriends may have an advantage in the looks department when it comes to that particular male.

The Qualities Of An Ungettable Girl

(Want to learn about the other qualities of the UG that aren’t mentioned here: Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)


Now we are really getting to the meat of this guide. This section is without a doubt going to be the longest one because there is a lot to discuss here. Personally, I believe that this will be the most informative section because it will kind of show you what most men consider to be qualities of an ungettable girl.

I bet you are wondering how I came up with this long and in-depth list of qualities? Lets just call it 24 years of research as a human being interacting with women.

Ok ok… it is more like 24 years of trying to date an ungettable girl and failing but still this list is golden 😉

The Daydream Quality


Every ungettable girl has one special type of quality that immediately comes to mind, the daydream quality.

Men are interesting creatures because we very rarely talk to other men about our inner most thoughts. How do I know this? Well, because I am a man and I am this way. Whenever I meet what I think can be an ungettable girl something really interesting happens in my mind and I can see it happening to other men as well. Allow me to explain.

You see, the ungettable girl has to have the ability to make a man daydream.

This “daydream effect” is important because it starts like a virus in the mind and slowly takes over. It is the DE (daydream effect) that constantly keeps a man coming back from more.

The Popularity Quality


Have you ever noticed how we are always attracted to popular people? I mean, there are entire magazines that bend over backwards to get a celebrity to appear on the cover. Heck, there are products that actually pay celebrities to say they use the product because they know that an endorsement like that will make people buy it.

I know when I was in high school I was always more attracted to the popular people in the school and I am sure you were too.

Well, popularity plays a role into the ungettable girl too and in this section we are really going to explore the essence of that.

I used to be an avid Facebook person. I would log in three to four times a day and just explore things. Of course, I am a guy so a lot of that exploring meant admiring the pretty girls I was friends with. I no longer do that anymore because I literally can’t without being mauled with messages about exes. However, I remember back when I used to be able to roam freely ( 😉 ) and I began to notice something interesting. All of the girls I was attracted to were wildly popular or at least they appeared to be.

So, how does our society define popularity? Well, if I am being honest many different ways. However, the kind of popularity I am talking about here with the UG is social proof popularity, being preselected by other members of our society.


Let me break it down for you in simpler terms.

If I was going to a party or social gathering and saw a beautiful girl that I was interested in I am going to keep my eye on her. Sure, if she sits in the corner, friendless, she will be more approachable but there is something too “easy” about that. Lengendary women are the most challenging ones to obtain. This is where social proof comes in.

If I am at that party and see that beautiful girl not only preselected by other men but women as well then something interesting happens. All of a sudden she has the makings of an UG. I guess we can call this the “celebrity effect.”

Again, let me put this in easier terms for you to understand.

If you were at the imaginary party where I was and all of a sudden Brad Pitt (or George Clooney) or whatever celebrity is hot right now walks into the party pretty much everyone is going to flock to him. While that celebrity may be physically attractive to you there is also something uber attractive about someone who has social proof or the ability to appear liked by others.

Ungettables have this quality. They can walk into a party and be the rock star and that will make men more attracted to them!

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The Physical Appearance Quality

(This is another one of those sections that could potentially ruffle a few feathers so consider yourself warned.)


I want you to think about something for a moment. On the right side of this site I make a pretty big picture of myself available. Have you ever wondered why I did that?

It is because I understand that looks matter.

Look, I am a pretty humble guy (who has been humbled by women on multiple occasions) but with all of that in mind I do know that I am an attractive male and I can use that to my advantage when I talk to you. Attractive people get advantages and one of those advantages is that when you run a site, full of women, that talks about men those women tend to listen to the attractive guy teaching.

I admit that if I was fat and had a Dumbledore beard I wouldn’t be able to run this site. I mean why would you even take me seriously? If this doesn’t prove that looks matter then I don’t know what will.

Lets apply our newfound knowledge to the ungettable girl.

We have already established that the lowest “looks” score that a woman can possibly have and still become an untettable girl is an 8. Now, this is where things get a little bit complicated. A few sections above I alluded to the fact that different men have different tastes. So, what I consider to be an 8 may be a 5 for someone else. Though I will say one thing, I have found that I am pretty in touch with what other men consider to be attractive. Nevertheless, the main point I want you to grasp here is that you shouldn’t be discouraged if someone tells you that you are not at least an 8 on the looks scale, somewhere out there, there is a guy that will think you are a 10!

When I explain that looks matter to a lot of the women on this site I get all kinds of reactions. Most women will tell me straight up that I am absolutely right. However, every once in a while I will get chewed out for being “shallow.” Well, to those people that think I am shallow answer me this.

Would a shallow person run a website with one goal, helping women achieve their relationship goals?

Would a shallow person NOT be afraid to tell you the truth no matter how hard it is to hear?

Would a shallow person go in-depth about some of the most embarrassing experiences in his life?

(Ok, maybe yes to that last question.)

If you think I am shallow then you are really not going to like what I am about to do next. Lets talk specifically about what men find attractive.

Two Components To Attractive Women


I debated on whether or not to share this with you but in the end my logic won out over my fear of being viewed as shallow. The truth is that this is something you need to hear. It is the inner most “looks rating” system of a man (me.) Again, I want to reiterate that what I find attractive may not necessarily be what other men find attractive but I have found that I am usually a pretty good indicator.

(Just another word of warning, I will not be pulling punches here.)

I am going to divide this up into two parts. I figure we can cover ground much more efficiently that way. The two parts of an attractive woman are:

  1. Face
  2. Body

Lets start with the face!


Your face is kind of a big deal. As a general rule when men look to date someone over the long term they judge attractiveness more by the face. When men are looking for just sex they choose women based on attractive bodies. So, your face matters just a little bit when you are looking for a lasting relationship ;).

It is kind of unfortunate that what is considered the biggest deal in “attraction” we have the least control over. Genetics can be extremely rewarding or extremely cruel. Why am I telling you this? Well, I want you to remember that no one has a perfect face. We are all imperfect in our own ways and men will take this into account. Granted, they don’t take it into account as much as they should but it is taken into account.


The way this section is going to work is pretty simple. I am going to carefully go over what attracts me to women characteristic by characteristic on the face. Lets start with the hairstyle.

I don’t know much about hairstyles I will be the first to admit that. However, I do know what I find attractive and there is one big takeaway here. For me, short hairstyles are less attractive than longer ones. Now, I am not saying that I am completely opposed to shorter hair styles but I will say that I am definitely more attracted to women with longer ones. Lets take a look at a celebrity so I can make my point.

Victoria Beckham is a woman with an attractive face. I don’t think anybody can deny that. However, I find her a lot more attractive with longer hair than shorter. Lets take a look at her with short hair:

victoria beckham hairstyle 2

Again, I want to reiterate that I still find her wildly attractive with short hair but for some reason I think it makes her look older than she needs to look. I like that the hairstyle makes her look more sophisticated but you need to remember that most guys aren’t turned on by powerful women that don’t seem approachable. In fact, a powerful woman scares just about any man (it turns us on but it can be scary.) The short hair almost makes her look too powerful though. She looks like she would be very demanding of anyone and that can turn some guys off a little bit.

Lets move on to Victoria Beckham with a longer hair style:

victoria beckham

Now that I am looking at her with longer hair I can definitely say that I like it so much more. To me she still looks powerful but the difference is that she looks powerful AND approachable. With the short hair she looked powerful and unapproachable. I have actually talked to a few of my buddies about this and they all agree that longer hair on women is more attractive.

Skin & Smile

That is kind of a weird pairing isn’t it?

Believe me there is a method to my madness.

Today I ended up seeing a girl that I would definitely classify as pretty but she had two things that turned me off a little bit. Want to take a guess at what those qualities were?

Yup, her skin and her smile.

I actually ended up pulling up next to her at a stoplight when she had her window down. She was chattering away on her cellphone and doing something that I am not a fan of but not overly judgemental of, smoking. It was the smoking that caught my attention as she flicked her cigarette and it hit my car. She was obviously oblivious to the way that the world perceived her as she didn’t even look over to apologize.

Already we are off to a bad start, she and I.

When I took a good look at her I saw potential. She had the template for a beautiful face but it was obvious to me (even from my car) that she had not taken care of her body or face as she looked a lot like this:

lindsey lohan skin and smile

Why do we as a society find Lindsey Lohan unattractive?

Personally, when I look at her face I see the template of someone who can be devastatingly beautiful. Her main problem is that she looks like she is in her mid fifties (and she is only like 25.) She has this dirty look. No, not “dirty” dirty (get your mind out of the gutter.) I am talking about dirty in the sense of ” she hasn’t showered in days.” Also take a look at that smile.

Her teeth are literally the color as her hair. Granted, this photo may be photoshopped but even if it is it is still great for helping me make my point.

Lindsey Lohan has the face template of someone who can be a 10 but because she neglcted to care for her face the way it needs to be cared for most guys would end up giving her a 5. Yes, it is THAT important.

Lets turn our attention back to my experience in the car with the cigarette chick. She had a lot of the same problems as Lindsey Lohan did. She had a beautiful face but her skin wasn’t taken care of. I saw her smile as she was talking on the phone and could see the yellow from my car. It is unfortunate because if she just tried a little bit she could have been something special.

Oh, and in case you are wondering what someone who has a perfect smile and skin looks like I want you to meet Laura Vandervoort :).



This section is probably going to be shorter than the face section above because there is not a lot I can say that you probably don’t already know so I am just going to cut right to the chase.

Your weight does matter to men but not as much as you initially think. I will talk about that in a second but first there is a concept I need you to grasp.

When I say that your weight matters to men I bet you automatically assumed that I mean “women who were overweight.” While that was certainly implied I was also talking about the women on the opposite end of the spectrum too.

Line Theory

I want you to imagine a straight line. Better yet, I want you to take out a piece of paper and draw a horizontal line. Using this horizontal line I want you to take your pencil and go to the end of the line on the left side and write “skinny.” After you have done this I want you to go to the far right side of the line and write down “overweight.” Finally, I want you to go to the center of the line and write down “perfect.” When it is all said and done your line should look like this:

line theory

I hope by now you are started to see the point I am about to make. The ideal “weight” you should be shooting for is the perfect weight which is in the middle between overweight and skinny. Lets take a moment and discuss why men find women who are too skinny unattractive.


A few months ago I re-watched one of my favorite television series of all time, Band of Brothers. The show, to me at least, seemed like a very real depiction of World War Two. Towards the end of the series the “band of brothers” that we have grown so invested in have the very foundations of their worlds shaken when they happen upon a Nazi concentration camp.

Even as a viewer I started crying because of what these people were put through. The camera panned around and showed the most physically starved individuals I have ever seen in my life. They literally looked like walking skeletons. The American soldiers immediately went into “help” mode as they scrambled around trying to find food to feed these poor people. It wasn’t until an Army doctor came around and explained that they have to stop feeding the concentration camp survivors because they could eat themselves to death that you full realized the gravity of this horrible situation.

So, I have yet to understand why some women feel that this is an attractive way to look?:


I picked this picture for a few specific reasons. Obviously this girl is way too skinny. However, I want you to take a good hard look at her face. She is actually beautiful. She has the face of a 10. I mean, if I had just taken a picture of her face you would probably think that she is one of the prettiest girls you have ever seen in your life. Unfortunately for her, the allure of being “the ungettable” goes away since her body looks malnourished and unhealthy. I feel sorry for her because society has convinced her that this is an attractive way to look when it is clearly not. I know for a fact that I am an attractive man and I do not find her attractive at all. Sure, she has a pretty face but I would never date her because she looks malnourished and unhealthy.


Now we are going to jump to the opposite end of the spectrum and talk about those individuals who are overweight. If this is a touchy subject for you then I apologize. It’s just I can’t pull any punches here because you need to know the truth that goes on in the minds of men.

Overweight women are almost never attractive to men. What’s worse is that I think that overweight women realize this and become extremely self conscious about everything. So, it is kind like a domino effect of badness that occurs. For example, a woman will realize that she is overweight which will in turn make her more self conscious which will eventually make it very hard for her to display confidence.

Lets take a look at a picture of someone who is overweight and use it for our own benefit.

pretty fat woman

The best I could find is a drawing so bear with me here.

When I look at this picture I see the template (I keep using that word haha) of someone who can be ungettable. If she lost the weight and found that “perfect” balance between skinny and overweight she would be a bona-fide 10 on the looks scale. There is no question in my mind. She has a beautiful face and from her facial expression you can tell she’s a bit fiery (which most men will like.) Men would be lining up to date her if she found that ideal weight.

Of course, I am a glass half full kind of guy so I choose to see the positive with being overweight. The truth is that being overweight is easily fixable. It will take some hard work and dedication but it is something that you can control!

Perfect Weight

The perfect weight is a balance between skinny and overweight. One thing to keep in mind is that I would estimate 70% of men like a little meat on their women so the perfect weight doesn’t necessarily mean you need to have six pack abs. You just need to look fit, healthy and aim for a flat stomach and that is it.

One of the most attractive bodies I have seen recently belongs to Kim Kardashian. Now, I am by no means a Kim Kardashian fan. In fact, I think she is so needy she doesn’t constitute even being close to an ungettable girl but one thing she does have is a killer body. Take a look below:

kim kardashian body

I specifically want you to notice her stomach. It is completely flat. She doesn’t have a set of six pack abs but she does have a healthy flat stomach. There is that word again, healthy. Kim Kardashian has a very healthy body. I don’t think anyone can deny that. Men realize this (among other things ahem…) and put her on a pedestal.

The Attitude Of An Ungettable Girl

(Want to learn more about the Ungettable Girl and your ex boyfriend? Try out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)


Now we are getting to the fun stuff!

I have approached a lot of ungettable girls in my life so I feel I am qualified to talk about their attitude (I am even friends with a few.) Each one has a set of specific qualities that makes up their personality. So, if we are going to refer back to the ungettable point system above this would be the start of the “personality” score part.

Great Rapport Builders


About three years ago I was really excited to go on a date with a girl that I had met in one of my college classes. I was instantly attracted to her from the moment I saw her. Luckily, I worked some magic, got a number and a date.

What commenced after that was probably the most boring date of my entire life. Whenever I would try talking to this girl it was like talking to a wall. I would ask her a question, get a short answer and then she would get quiet again. She was obviously very shy but after about an hour of this I began to wonder if it was me that was the problem.

It couldn’t be. This was the first time that anything like this had ever happened.

Minute by minute I grew angrier and angrier as it seemed like she didn’t even want to be on the date with me. Soon, the excited feeling that I had gotten all day turned into disdain and I just wanted it to be over. I kept my composure on the outside of course but on the inside I was bored out of my mind.

Shockingly, when the date ended and I dropped her off at her apartment I remember her looking into my eyes and pausing for a moment.

“Does she actually want me to kiss her?”

“The worst date I have been on and she wants me to kiss her? No thanks!”

I don’t care how attractive you are if you are not good at building rapport with someone you are not going to be an ungettable girl.

Now, lets compare this boring date experience (where no rapport was built) to the day I met one of my friends (who happens to be an UG.)

The story of when I met this girl is actually interesting. We were both in some sort of beginners art class in college. Interestingly, the class was very early in the morning and both of us arrived very early. So early in fact that we were the only ones there.

It gave us about ten minutes to talk and both of us felt an instant connection. She could hold her own against me and I could hold my own against her. Rapport was being built in record time. When the class was over we both stood by our cars and talked for an extra hour. I was instantly attracted to her and I am sure she was attracted to me as she invited me out to go get lunch.

Ah! but then she did something interesting.

Leave You Wanting More


What did she do?

She left me wanting more. Interestingly, this is a quality that I talk about extensively in my E-Book and this girl (who I am now good friends with) was about to do it to me.

“Ohhh… I forgot it is my friends birthday today and I have to go buy her a present. Rain check?”

I am sure that she didn’t do what she did intentionally but it worked like a charm. You see, the rapport that she built with me created an emotional connection in me that made me want to spend more time with her. I was at my emotional high point of this particular experience and right when I wanted more she pulled the rug out from under me.

What effect did this have on me?

Well, it just made me want to see her even more.

Ungettable girls have this uncanny knack for leaving men wanting more. You see, things are never done on the mans schedule. They are always done on her schedule and if she leaves a man wanting more HE IS TOTALLY FINE WITH THIS!

How To Leave A Male Wanting More

Well, I essentially just told you with my story above but I will simplify things for you.

Step 1: Build rapport with a male.

Step 2: Once enough rapport is built the male will begin developing an emotional connection.

Step 3: Once the emotional connection is built pull the rug out from under him essentially leaving him wanting more.


This is where most women tend to struggle.

A friend of mine recently made a point to me that really struck a chord.

Women tend to dress how they feel.

What does that have to do with confidence? Simple, a confident woman will dress one way and a woman who isn’t will dress another way.

Ungettable girls are confident. It’s as simple as that.

But how does confidence manifest itself? Is it how we dress like I was talking about above? Well, yes that is a part of it but that isn’t the whole picture.

People often appear confident based on their body language. So, in my opinion the most important way to be confident is to have confident body language that is perceived as confident by other males. Confused yet?

Allow me to explain.

Now, I am not some sort of expert on body language I am just going to tell you about the women who I perceive to be confident. I would like to introduce you (again) to Laura Vandervoort.


The image above is like a collage of Laura Vandervoort. I chose this picture because I think it does a good job of displaying confidence. Now, there are a lot of depths to why I chose this picture so I am going to take things one step at a time. First things first, the way she dresses.

Her Wardrobe

Very professional don’t you think?

Granted she was professionally dressed for whatever this movie is (she is an actress) but through the way she dresses she appears to be in control and confident and I really like that. One of her biggest advantages in my opinion is that she has a friendly face. So, even though she has professional type clothes on she still seems very approachable. This is the type of girl that just oozes that daydream quality I was talking about when I started writing this article.

Her Posture

I want you to look very carefully at every single picture in the collage. Do you notice anything?

I certainly do!

The first thing I notice when I look at her posture is how proper it is. She is not hunched over and she is not afraid to look you in the eye when she talks. You can just tell by looking at her that it’s true. If you also look in the bottom right hand corner of the picture there is even a photo of her sitting down on a desk. Again, i want you to notice she doesn’t have her back hunched over. She is confident with who she is on the outside. Now, I am sure the same insecurities that every human being gets is going on inside of her head but it’s clear that she does a fantastic job of  projecting confidence. So, even if she may feel a bit uneasy inside you can’t tell because to the casual observer she is confident.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

That’s It?

This concludes the Ungettable Girl guide! Think I ended too soon?

Haha I guess I am going to have to leave you wanting more?

303 thoughts on “The Ungettable Girl”

  1. Ruth nsama

    December 10, 2018 at 3:02 pm

    I started knowing about you when I broke up with my boyfriend. I was so desperate that I starting in on the internet to see if there was anything that could give any ideas on how to get your ex back. That the term, the law of attraction and got inrested to know what it was. When I went through I got to know about the no contact rules and came to know about you.then I I continued reading your I found the boyfriend recovery. I apply the no contact, how to be unforgoteble girl and the law of attraction itself and it worked for me and my boyfriend came back and it’s a year now we are still in love. Thanks for helping a woman like me and others in the same condition.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 10, 2018 at 11:24 pm

      Glad to her things worked out for you so well. You should be proud of yourself…because it was ALL you.

  2. Luna

    October 18, 2018 at 1:04 am

    Hey Chris and team, I’ve been very depressed after my breakup and although I did not beg or plead for my relationship and I immediately implemented NC with no slip ups, I’ve done almost nothing towards becoming an UG. I’m too down in the dumps and instead I’ve been sleeping a lot and just trying to get through life. I’m just now starting to feel better. Is it okay to extend NC until I make progress towards becoming an UG? I was with my ex for 5 years and we had a great relationship and a very strong bond and emotional connection. The breakup happened 3 weeks ago and I’m therefore in week 3 of NC.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 18, 2018 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Luna!

      Sorry to hear you are feeling down, but you are doing a lot of the right thing and you should be proud of that! Feel free with extending

  3. Help

    March 5, 2018 at 2:09 pm

    I meant to say he wants to * focus on him self

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2018 at 8:00 am

      Yes, it’s right that you ignored because keeping on talking to him after he rejected you is chasing.. Tell him being friends is not workable for you right now, thank him for everything and then restart the count of 30 days nc…

  4. Help

    March 5, 2018 at 2:06 pm

    So my problem is with this guy , he isn’t an ex . We met about 5 months ago and every since we first met he’s been asking me to be in a relationship with him , since the first day ! Which I thought was moving waaaay to fast and I was still dealing with my emotions from my ex which we just ended a year and half realtionship and month before (but I thought we were going to get back toghter ) so this new guy chased me and chased me until about to two weeks ago , he finally said he’s done. At first i didn’t care until I realized how great a guy he was and he’s the WHOLE package. I think I also liked him from the beginning but was just scared to get hurt again

    So about a week ago I told him I was ready to be with him and he just completely changed he told me No ! And told me how I’m selfish and think everything works on my time and how he doesn’t think we’re a match anymore and kept saying the exact same stuff I was saying to him back to me. Like he wants to touch’s on himself & would tell me you don’t like how it feels huh?

    It bothered me so for two days I was trying to get him to explain his decision and to see me in person but he wouldn’t always reply(but was watching my story’s I posted) and kept blowing me off with a cold attitude

    So I finally was like ok I’ll try one more time since I know I was the one who pushed him away I called and he gave me a big attitude saying how he was asleep. But he had just watched my Snapchat story 10 minutes before . I decided to leave it alone but that night he texted me and said “lol you were in your feelings all night huh “ I Never replied because I felt like that was rude that was two days ago and he hasn’t reached out to me either

    & I didn’t reply because that’s just how my ex acted and that relationship took a lot out of me and I really don’t want to end up in another toxic relationship.

    My friends been telling me they think he’s just getting back at me because I upset him from denying him for months but I don’t know.

    I really want to try to make things work with him . I just don’t want to come off as chasing him and being needy because that’s what I did with my ex and he then started taking advantage of my feeelings .

    I’ve been posting a lot on Snapchat and Instagram and he’s always one of the first to watch it.
    How do I find out if there’s still a chance without chasing him ? Should I just wait until he rechases out? Did I do the right thing by ignoring his text ?

  5. Jasmijn

    February 27, 2018 at 9:25 am

    My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago by deciding to go on a break because he said he needed space and time to think. We were together for almost 7 months and everything was great until he sat me down and told me that. I tried giving him space (even though we live together in student housing). After a week we spoke again and he said he made a mistake and if we could just forget everything. He wanted sex and I said ok but only if he wasn’t going to change his mind again and he said he wouldn’t. The next day he told me he wasn’t sure anymore. A few days later the exact same thing happened.

    I told him we should just break up for real and not date or anything in the meantime and he agreed wholeheartedly which broke my heart. He told me he is not having the same feelings for me he had in the beginning. Tune in to a few days ago when we had sex again a few times as in just sex (I knew what I was getting into). He spend the night in my room and in the morning we had sex again. Later that day (yesterday) he told me he wanted to wait with having sex again for a few days because it felt a lot like getting into another relationship again and he is saying that’s not what he wants (not with me or with anyone because he has adhd and depression and feels like he doesn’t have the space in his head/heart for it). I felt very rejected even though I acted like it didn’t matter to me.

    Next monday I am moving out. Should I just implement NC now or start when I moved out. The way he is acting now it just feels like he won’t miss me at all if I go NC and he probably won’t text me since he isn’t a texter. But then again he is used to seeing me everyday since we live in the same house and me being gone is going to be a big difference for both of us. I want to take the time to work on myself and I need the NC period to do that. It just feels like he doesn’t care at all.

    What is your take in all of this? I would love some more insight than just fragments of my imagination.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 12:14 pm

      Hi Jasmijn,

      Staying in contact is worse.. Do nc for yourself, not for him and don’t sleep with him again. check this one:
      How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him

  6. Jen

    January 12, 2018 at 1:02 pm

    Thank you. And sorry it was suppose to say blocked him. Yes he is stringing me along and I understand why he is doing it. It’s because I allowed it. Every time I get him out of my life and start to get over him he comes back. Go figure. The last time he came back he spoke about marriage. Who does that when they don’t mean it? I don’t get it. Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 14, 2018 at 10:24 pm

      That’s actually common.. that’s why we move on without totally moving on because in that way, you’ve already started moving on and the decision of whether to get back with the ex or not is more rational than emotional.. When the ex senses that you are moving on, they tend to hook you again enough to keep you around, that’s why it’s important to be rational so that you’ll know when to let go if needed.

  7. Jen

    January 8, 2018 at 12:06 am

    So you’re saying i should just let him go? I forgot about him completely and he came back into my life and started talking about us getting back together. Then he switched I‎t up again. Im not chasing him. I just want to know why does he come back to say these things to me then leaves again? Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2018 at 9:49 pm

      I’m so sorry.. I reread your post. I misunderstood it. Yeah, you’re not chasing him but he is stringing you along. And what do you mean that you booked him?

  8. Allison

    January 6, 2018 at 2:15 pm

    Is it still possible to become an ungettable girl when you’ve known your ex for 5 years? He’s seen everything about me for the last 3 because we lived together. I am overweight and he says that is a huge part of our issues because he is not as attracted to me as hr would like to be, but do I still have a shot being the ungettable girl or is it too late?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2018 at 5:28 pm

      Hi Allison,

      Of course you have.. Growth and improving in life depends on you being active on it.. You can do that..

  9. Jen

    January 5, 2018 at 5:34 pm

    So it’s been over a year. My ex has a new girlfriend for a couple of months now. About a month ago he found out i booked him and went crazy. Talking about how he thought about getting a ring to come back to me how he never forgot me. How he is going to break up with his girlfriend. Fast forward a month i feel like an idiot he is still with his girlfriend and he is saying he is confused and not ready he gives such mixed signals i don’t know what to do anymore. I definitely chased him when we first broke up. I don’t understand if he feels the way he feels why hasn’t he come back to me yet. Is it because he knows im around. I feel like im getting to the point where i just want to forget about him all together. What do i do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 7, 2018 at 11:46 pm

      Hi Jen,

      If you’re still talking to him a year after the break up, that means you’re still chasing and it looks like he’s stringing you along…

  10. Catherine

    October 25, 2017 at 2:12 am

    I am not one to typically comment on public posts, especially of this type; however, I would like to suggest you take a second look at the way you have approached the description of an “ungettable” girl’s body.
    My initial reaction to this post was to nod and agree with what you had to say until it came to a woman’s weight. I found the remarks and opinions here disrespectful, and potentially (if not definitely) damaging to women, especially those who are in an emotional state already with lowered defenses and self esteem.
    The facts are this. Women should never be taught that their worth lies anywhere in their physical appearance any more than men should. Their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual is more important than any idea of perfect someone else may hold. A woman who has lost touch with her health in one of these places should be figuring out WHY for herself, because that’s the mindset that drew the man she loved to her in the first place, and whether he comes back or not it’s healthier for her in the long term. Women are not in competition with each other and they shouldn’t be.
    Not only that, but in case anyone hasn’t noticed, there are two things here to note. The first being that eating disorders are a real thing. They may be present before a relationship, women and men may be predisposed towards developing them, and they may be triggered by life events or suggestions of imperfections and the need to improve or focus on something “better.”
    The other is that just as no two men are born with the same body types and designed the same genetically, neither are any two women. “Real women” are born tall, average height, short, curvy, skinny, bottom heavy, top heavy, every size and shape you can imagine. Some are prone to stretch marks, some freckle, some grey early, and every single one of them is normal and wonderful the way they are as long as they are healthy and taking care of themselves.
    The same woman pictured above whom you say you would never date because of how skinny she is represents a portion of the female population who either works to maintain that weight for their occupation (by choice, and does not hurt for male company I’m sure) and also women born thin with high metabolisms and small bone structures incapable of meeting your ideal middle zone. Grace Kelly, world renowned actress and former Princess of Monaco was about 5’7 and weighed 118 pounds. By those standards she would have been too thin. I’d know, I’m 5’7 and 115 with a 25 inch waist. I also represent that select population who is thin by birth, and has no control over my size. I accept it, wouldn’t change it, and celebrate women of every body type. EVEN when I’ve been called a skinny (you can fill in this blank) and insulted under the insinuation that I starve myself or I’m on drugs.
    I’ve also never hurt for male company, and I’m a girl whose gotten away for several of my exes.
    In my experience, you’re right when you say personality is key. Taking care of yourself is key. But so is authenticity, passion, loving yourself (not to be mistaken for selfishness, but having an appreciation for who you are, knowing who YOU are, and what you have to offer), confidence, empathy, kindness, intelligence, respect for yourself and others, a sense of humor, being playful, and being a little hardy. Being able to tough it out, stick it out, encourage, know when to step back and let a man be a man, and when to step forward and pick up some of the weight because they won’t ask, but sometimes they NEED it.

    And frankly, any guy who lets plays games and let’s you go, isn’t ready for a real relationship. Walk. Let him go. Hurt now. Heal now. Let him grow up, and if he comes back, make him earn it back. If he doesn’t, he did you a favor. Someone wise once said: there are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

  11. Jane

    October 5, 2017 at 7:59 pm

    Please send me an email to narrate my story via email not in a comment
    & I will be thankful a lot

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 6, 2017 at 10:34 pm

      Hi Jane,

      you can email at [email protected]

  12. Georgina

    August 28, 2017 at 2:55 am

    Hi! So this is my second time commenting here and I just had some thoughts. I don’t mean to brag but I am somehow a UG girl. I am pretty(who is lazy to fix herself all the time), I have a high grades and is running for latin honors, I joing writing contests and win various awards and have joined pageant contests and either belong in top 3 or gained the crown. And every single of it was seen by my ex. He saw me suceed and fail. But he still broke up with me bcoz of the horrible things I said. Maybe bcoz I was stressed. How can I improve my personality?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 28, 2017 at 7:09 pm

      HI Georgina,

      That’s good that you know that you’re beautiful.. Being physically beautiful is just one part of being an ungettable girl. Improve other aspects of your life. Join new workshops, volunteer, improve your skills. Do new things and meet new friends.

  13. Joanna

    April 17, 2017 at 1:58 pm

    Hello there. I need an honest opinion on my situation. I broke up with my boyfriend after four years of on and off. the longest off period lasted 6 months, 2 years ago. he now seems very determined to keep things like this because he says that it is obvious that we don’t know how to be together and didn’t find a way to make things work and we would only waste time. He even started going to a therapist. I did the NC for 5 weeks but needed to stop to wish him happy birthday. during this time there was no word from him and eventually he replied on my happy birthday message, with a simple thank you. to be honest, it does seem to me like there is no going back this time.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 22, 2017 at 2:40 pm

      How much did you improve and we’re you active in posting in the past weeks?

  14. Chane-lee Seejiram

    April 5, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    Hi Chris. Love the advice. Thank you so much.

    I was wondering what your thoughts are on if you feel like becoming the ungettable girl would take 6-12 months. I do still want my ex back but I don’t want to get back into the relationship until I feel like I’ve accomplished all my goals and the things that make me happy. He broke up with me by the way… But it was exactly what we both needed. Thoughts?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 7, 2017 at 1:04 pm

      For me, you can do that and then treat everything as a restart..or start building rapport and just continue improving yourself while doing it

  15. Astor

    March 29, 2017 at 6:17 pm

    I have a bit of a situation that I’d like input on. I never officially dated this guy but we were friends for around a year. The entire year there was a lot of sexual tension but he had a girlfriend. Finally, we got involved but I immediately regretted it. I admit, being inexperienced, I made some rookie mistakes and immediately contacted him, made myself readily available to him, and probably inflated his ego a lot.

    Then I read this and implemented the no contact rule and was successful, working on myself and trying my best to improve on myself. I went on a trip and he stalked my social media for weeks. During that time, he contacted me asking when I’d be back. I told him, “In April,” keeping it short and sweet with no other details.

    Now it might sound like I’ve gone cold on him and maybe I have in some ways. I’ve wised up to his game but now I want to know what to do going forward. I believe there’s something special between us and that there is a connection which attracted him to me to begin with. But I also know it’s gonna take a lot of work on his part and restraint on my part for it to manifest into something more.

    I’m back in town now and I’m wondering what I should do? Keep up with the no contact rule until he contacts me again? Or show up and show him that I’ve changed for the better. Although I do have good instincts, my inexperience has had me commit a few fauxpas in the beginning.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 30, 2017 at 4:00 pm

  16. Andreea

    March 21, 2017 at 3:18 pm

    I want to tell my story here. And I am sorry for the long write. I need to know your opinion and if I have any chance of a proper relationship with this man.
    I met this wonderful funny guy last year in May. We actually met online and on our first date we had a lot of fun. But soon my life got interrupted as I found out my father has cancer. I had to move back home (another country) for a while and be with my family. All this time, we’ve texted a lot. He was encouraging me and sending words of comfort every day, trying to make me smile. In July I travelled back and we met again. We had our 2nd official date and a kiss happened. We both felt butterflies and after I went back home to my parents, he kept texting me a lot. After a month and a lot of struggles, my father passed away. He was there for me every single day even if from the distance. When I travelled back, we entered an official relationship. For 2 weeks we dated every other day and we agreed on being together in a relationship. We felt so happy with each other. I had to go back home for a few days again and when I came back, I felt like all the struggles in my family were over and I could finally somehow relax and let go. We slept together for the first time. And things kind of started to change after that. I felt he was pulling away and I was puzzled. A lot of insecurities surfaced and I started to overcompensate with extra attention for him and his needs or what I thought they were. We spent a nice weekend away for his birthday but even on that weekend, everything seemed different. He wasn’t as happy as before. After a few days I asked him what’s wrong. He said he is trying to feel more than think about us and that nothing is wrong. 2 weeks later he was breaking up with me saying that everything looks perfect on the paper but there is something missing. He didn’t know what. I got so attached to him in this whole period that the break up really crushed my heart into pieces. He broke up with me gently, holding my hand and hugging me the entire time and that made things even worse for me. I didn’t understand.
    He said we can still see each other, like staying friends and that I can tell him anything I want and feel. And I did that for a couple of weeks and then stopped. I realised I was becoming too needy and I had to move on. But I still sent him a Christmas gift (although we broke up towards in October). He said thanks and seemed surprised. Then we had less and less contact. In January he contacted me and told me he would like me to join him on the formula 1 driving experience that I gave him as a present for his birthday. I said he can enjoy that with his friends but he insisted I share that with him. But he ended up booking that for March and I thought, by the way he said it, that he will actually go alone or with some other friends.
    Anyway, time passed again, no communication in between. And in February, close to Valentines day, he wrote and asked how I am and if I would like to meet for a walk and catch up. I proposed a day but on that day, he wrote back and apologise that he had to cancel due to work stuff. He proposed another day but I was away for that entire week and couldn’t do it. So, when I was back, I wrote him and asked if he would like to meet. He said yes and we met at my house. I proposed cooking something together and have a relaxed dinner, talk and laugh and he was ok with it. He then reminded me about the driving experience and that he still wants me to go with him. I was pleasantly surprised.
    Everything went well but we got too relaxed, we both drank a bit too much and I ended up giving him a back massage because he was in pain. We both lied down on the bed afterwards and he leaned fwd and kissed me. I asked what changed and I got silence for a few moments. Then he kissed me again. And I let him, I was powerless and thought that maybe this attraction and closeness meant something. There was no sex and no skin to skin contact but we fooled around for quite a bit. I let him without realising that he gets what he wants without any effort and I lose my self respect by doing that. He thought he can easily have me. He left that evening kissing me on the way out and I haven’t heard from him afterwards for almost a week. When he asked if I had a hangover after that night. Found that message totally disrespectful and insensitive and I didn’t answer. But after a week and a half of silence, I said to him that I think we both acted immaturely and we should have a short walk together to clear the air. And that I didn’t want things to stay awkward between him and me. After I sent that, I felt like I’ve made the biggest mistake and once again, lost my self respect with this man. His answer was that he doesn’t think anything is wrong from his side and that a walk would be great but he was busy for the rest of the week and we could only meet at some point during the next one. Although I already realised he doesn’t care about me, this message made it even more clear that I am not a priority at all. So I chose to retract myself from the whole situation.

    I wrote him that while it was lovely to see him again, I came to realise that we are in 2 different places right now and that nothing connects us really and I believe it is better to not keep in touch at all anymore and wished him all the best. I blocked his number and removed him for Facebook and cried my eyes out afterwards.
    I really think he is a great guy and that we are very good for each other. We think and feel alike about so many things. I believe we got together at the wrong time and that’s why it didn’t work. We also entered the relationship too quickly, I was an emotional wreck after the death of my father and him being there for me, got me very attached to and needy of him.
    When we first met, before having the event with my dad, I was in such a good place with myself. Really happy with my life, just moved to another country, made new friends, things were great. But then my world crushed down on me. And everything was a chain reaction. I am now trying to collect myself from the floor and rebuild my self respect and confidence again.

    I think of him often and would definitely want to have a fair try on a relationship together (after I have worked on myself) but I believe, with all that happened so far, that I am probably as low as possible on his ‘women who he would want to be with’ list. I also ended all form of contact so where to go from here?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 25, 2017 at 10:29 am

      Hi Andreea,

      just take this as a restart.. do at least 45 days and aim to be the advice above..

  17. GINA

    February 14, 2017 at 12:42 am

    Disgusted with the ungettable girl analogy. Basically if you are woman number 1 who enters the bar and is decent looking with a great personality but not drop dead gorgeous you will never be sought after. Much like nice guys finish last? At least you are honest about it.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2017 at 6:55 pm

      hmm..for me a decent girl with a great personality is drop dead gorgeous.. if you mean a a conservative girl, who doesn’t wear sexy clothes, she can still be gorgeous..

      It’s more about confidence.

      Dont be nice. Be kind. Nice is saying yes, even when you really mean no, because the person is not strong enough to stand up for what he really wants..
      When you’re kind, you can still say no in the way that’s not disrespectful..

  18. Bibi lanna

    January 23, 2017 at 12:33 am

    So my boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me I was heart broken and depressed but I wanted to do something about it and I miraculously stumbled onto EX Boyfriend Recovery and I initiated the NC immediately. I had a competition due the 21st of January, the day before what would be our anniversary. He scooped me up and held me, hugged me. And told me he loved me. I didn’t say anything in return…. I didn’t know he would go and show up, but he was there. I went home and I saw he had sent me a text that said he loved me….. But we couldn’t be together “not yet…… Or not ever if you realize you’re better off without me”. And I was confused. Do you think I have a chance?

    1. Bibi lanna

      January 23, 2017 at 9:58 pm

      So what should I do now? Should I keep distance from him? Talk to him?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2017 at 1:41 pm

      Slowly build rapport by talking to him. Just don’t be all like, “This is not to get back with you.” Just be friendly.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2017 at 3:59 pm

      Hi Bibi,

      yeah, what he did and said are good signs

  19. Lyla

    January 18, 2017 at 2:47 am

    After reading a truckload of contents from this site, I am not even sure if I want to be in a relationship with a man ever again. What do you even get out of it? If I were perfect, beautiful, popular, and with a great personality, I would be enjoying it alone instead of sharing the same boat with a loser dude.

  20. Jen

    January 6, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    We’ve always been friends. Eventually became fwb. I want to know if there’s any way of us being in a relationship? From the beginning he said he wanted to just be friends. (He had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship) We became fwb for a year and have argued a lot more recently. We had a really big argument in which he didn’t talk to me for two weeks. He then started talking to me again. When we talked about the argument he told me that he had developed real feelings for me and that all the arguments we had ruined those feelings. He wasn’t the same after this. He was really distant. I’d text him and he’d respond hours later. He wouldn’t return my calls until hours later either. In the middle of this there has been some “good days” where it’s felt like when things were going really great: So I’ve decided to do no contact. I’m on day 3 of no contact. Before I continue it I would like to say that I’ve always been the one to initiate conversations or meeting up (at least 9/10).
    So here’s my dilemma. We were never a couple so do I have a shot at us becoming a couple? And should I continue with the no contact?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 8, 2017 at 4:34 pm

      Hi Jen,

      you have a shot or higher chance of being official if you dont sleep with him again, if you dont chase and if you raise your value

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