By Chris Seiter

Updated on February 27th, 2021

What’s up?

I apologize for being a bit late for posting this video. It was a very rough weekend for me. Anyways, I have it up now.

In this video I teach those of you who cheated on your ex boyfriends how to get him back.

Check it out!

P.S. To date this has been my favorite video. You know what that means right? It’s hilarious!

Video Transcript

Hey what’s up, today we’re going to be covering how to get your ex back if you cheated on him. Now a great way to start off this video would be to look at the reason why you cheated.

Wait don’t we know the reasons we cheated on our exes?

Well that’s certainly true, I’m going to be talking about reasons you may be a little bit  embarrassed to admit. So I just like to get everything out there so we can move forward. Let’s begin.

Can anyone tell me why you cheated on your ex?

Chris: Because I totally felt like it.
Erika: Because you made me
Chris: Because I’m the most handsome devil in the world.


Let me just teach you.

There seems to be this common believe now a days that when it comes to cheating men and women cheat for different reasons. Now I’m certain that it can be true in certain cases but it’s not always true. So what’s this believe, well its that men cheat for physical reasons and women cheat for emotional reasons.

Does this theory that men cheat physically and women cheat emotionally hold? Let’s ask phsycotherapist, Dr. Ester Perel rather lets look at some of her studies on the subject. She is one of leading therapist that has studied cheating for a living in the entire world. She’s found that the number 1 correlation for men and women who cheat is the excitement they get from cheating. There’s a thrill to it. Theres the rush. The general excitement of cheating appeals to people and that is an underlying reason why people cheat.

And it may be a reason you think or feel that your not willing to admin publicly. But I’m just going to through it out there its very possible and this theory, this excitement is going to come up later when I starting talking about what you can do to get your ex boyfriend  back if you cheated on him. Speaking of which I’m going to give you my top 5 steps on what to do if you cheated on your ex boyfriend.

Step One: The No Contact Rule
girl pushing

Ah the good old no contact rule. Now it may seem counter intuitive to ignore your ex after a breakup when you were the one at fault. But if you actually look at the purpose of the no contact rule it will make sense. So what’s the purpose of the no contact rule?

Well theres really two points to it. To make your ex miss you and to erase any bad feelings he may have towards you. And thats the big thing we are trying to do here. We are trying to calm him down because if you cheated on your exboyfriend his anger level will be at a maximum. So lets wait till it comes down to a minimum before you try to get him back.

Step Two: Say your Sorry And MEAN IT!
not listening

I know what your thinking. “Well I can just apologize it’s not like haven’t done that before.”

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Your not listening, you have to apologize and mean it. A few sections ago we talked about Ester Perel the worlds leading psychotherapist and how she found that people cheat for the thrill and rush of it. That plays into it this because often times when it come to feeling bad or guilty people don’t feel bad for their actions because its exciting and fun for them. They feel bad for how they made the other person feel. They feel bad for hurting their significant other. Men are good at picking this up when you apologize to them. They can tell if your really sorry or not. So make an effort when it comes to apologizing to them to really show them that you are guilty. That will go a long ways.

Now I’m going to teach you a method I call the hamburger method. Basically this is going to involve the no contact rule.

Look to my right, your left you will see a graphic of a hamburger and the way this works is the meat of the hamburger is going to be considered the no contact rule. The top part above the meat is the apology. I want you to give a meaningful apology before you enter the no contact rule. The no contact rule you don’t talk to your ex at all. After the no contact rule you give another apology when it makes sense. You need to reiterate this apology because one apology is not enough for this type of behavior.

Now lets move on to the third thing you can do to get your ex back.

Step Three: End the Relationship


End the relationship does not mean you end the relationship you have with your ex boyfriend. It means you end the relationship with the person you cheated with. Basically you erase them from your life. Erase them from the world. They do not exist. Do not talk to them. Do not do anything regarding them. Throw out their phone number. Lose them. If you are serious about getting your ex back this is a step you will have to take.

Step Four: Show Intense Commitment


Showing intense commitment is easy to say but really hard to do. Now what do I consider an intense commitment? I consider an intense commitment to this process. Your going to have to swear off men in general. No flirting, no taking pictures, no kissing, definitely no dates. None of this is going to help you get your ex boyfriend back if you cheated on him because you cheated on him he is on red alert around you 24-7. If he is starting to feel like he wants you back he is going to dive into what has been going on after the breakup and if you’ve been with other guys. If you have been with other guys that’s not going to help you.

Step Five: Rebuild Attraction


The final step of getting your ex back if you cheated on him is starting the original process that I teach on my website ex boyfriend recovery and in my ebook ExBoyfriend Recovery Pro. So rather then detail that for you here I’m going to recommend that you go right now this moment to my website Search and read some of the content there you will get a really good idea of what you need to do to win him back. Also if you want a step by step game plan right now check out my ebook which you can find at The ebook is called Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and if you want to learn more about texting messaging. I have a really great e-book called the texting bible. Basically its a dictionary with 250-300 texts messages that you can use in any situation that you can think of.

Hey we just wanted to say, yes we just wanted to say thank you for getting to the end of this video. We really appreciate you. Again like I said if you want to learn more about getting your ex boyfriend back go to

And I’ll let the elf take it from here. If you wanna get your ex boyfriend back or you have any comments please comment in the YouTube section below. Thank you!

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100 thoughts on “Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)”

  1. Margaret Khomolina

    October 11, 2020 at 12:52 pm

    Hi Chris in August I kinda got in an a argument with my boyfriend coz of the things I found in his phone so he decided to break up with me. So I got depressed nd I thought I lost him so in September I took a wrong decision because I was lonely I start hanging out with some one along the line things went too far … after 2nd week of September my boyfriend came back nd we fixed things so now he found out tht I slept with the other guy so I had to tell him the truth now he is angry and communicating with the other guy nd tht guy is telling him lies and other ppl who never wanted to see us together are adding stories
    So please I need your help the are a lot of complications now

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 24, 2020 at 8:45 pm

      Hi Margaret, you need to be truthful with your boyfriend/ex boyfriend and allow him to be upset. If he chooses to accept what happened when you were apart and stay with you then you need to agree to be solid and ignore the outsiders stories as this is going to destroy your relationship

  2. Regina

    June 26, 2020 at 2:39 pm

    Hi, Chris. My boyfriend of 4 years and I got into an argument one night and he wanted me to leave his apt. I did but felt terrible about the fight. I called and texted him but he didn’t respond. I left my wallet at his apt and had a key, when I went into his apt I found that he was ignoring me to watch porn. We agreed at the start of our relationship nothing of that nature was acceptable. It was terrible, I had a boyfriend that morning and felt like I lost him that night. I couldn’t bring myself to break up but I was very hurt at the same time. I wanted him to console me but he wasn’t very patient with me. I felt terrible like he had eyes for other girls now and I wasn’t good enough. About a year later I started a new job I eventually started talking to a co worker there. We went on a few dates and my boyfriend found our messages, no sex was involved but he believed there was. When I wasn’t contacting him as much he was showing up to my work, home, giving me gifts, calling texting. I cut off all contact with my co worker to focus on my relationship with my now ex. We have been trying to work on us for a year and a half now on and off but he is super upset with me. After a bad argument this Saturday I told him not to contact me on Sunday night he responded that hes sorry for how things went and that he’s obviously not the guy for me, that I deserve complete happiness and he is running it, that he will not contact me after this message he promises, he loves me and is sorry things had to end this way.. Today, is day 5 of no contact between us..
    Will the no contact rule work in this case? Was the time then, that he was going to text call and show up? Do you know in your experience if we have any chance at fixing this? Thank you in advance for your time. Any information will help. Regina.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 18, 2020 at 12:20 am

      Hey Regina, this is not uncommon so try not to worry too much and yes No contact is definitely the way forward. Make sure that you use that time to work on your Holy Trinity to show your ex that you are doing well without them and taking steps to be the best version of yourself

  3. Joy

    January 8, 2020 at 7:40 pm

    Hi, Chris i cheated on my boyfriend by dating another guy, no sex is involved just that he saw our chats and he broke up with me please what should i do to get him back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 8, 2020 at 8:06 pm

      Hi Joy when you break your partners trust like that, you reach a point of no trust. So giving your ex some time apart and you stick to no contact, however if your ex starts to ask if you are with the person you dated. You can reply no. But you also need to stay away from others if you want your ex back. Stick to working on yourself and ask yourself why you even cheated on your ex. When you have given your ex 30 days of no contact then reach out with a friendly text and see what comes of it

  4. Jane

    October 25, 2018 at 11:18 am

    Hi Chris,
    I cheated on my bf with his worst enemy and he found out one night (1.5 months ago) while he was helping me to reply my friend’s text. He saw all the history chat text between me and his enemy. After that, the next day he was behaving calmly infront of me and told me he can’t be with me. I became mad and tried to find out what happened, we talked and eventually we made out. I thought he was ok and still love me. Btw, we had a LDR relationship. After he left, he was being cold to me. I went to meet him and confronted him and apologised and we kissed. However, right after that he’s acting cold and ignore me again. He told me and cried over the phone on how hurt he was. Ever since that day, I tried to do NC. Last ŵeek, he sent me audio songs; songs about betrayal, hurt and trying to move on. I replied an hour later with lyric of a love song. He never replied and no text from him at all. Did I break the NC rule? I plan to meet him again next two weeks, considering that it has been a month since our last NC excluding the one I replied his audio songs text. I couldn’t go through my days without thinking about him and i feel miserable. What can I do ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 25, 2018 at 8:21 pm

      Hi Jane!

      Probably best not to respond any more to his out reaches. Stick with your NC plan and if you need more support and insights into how all this post breakup period works, just tap into any of my resources on the site.

  5. marie

    February 16, 2018 at 7:21 pm

    in one article you say to not do a full 30 days but a 15 day NC after cheating, another article says do not apologize at all, then one says to apologize after priming, this one says to apologize before NC. I’ve already been in NC for 7 days. clarify?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 19, 2018 at 12:55 pm

      Hi Marie,

      what were the articles that you mentioned? The advises might be different because of the context of the message. What’s your situation?

  6. Joyce

    December 4, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    Hi EBR Team:

    Thanks for making this site and believing in second chances at love. I was about to give up but felt relieved with the glimpse of hope your site has given me.

    My ex and I have lived together for almost four years. Those years weren’t a smooth sail but we’ve managed to have beautiful and fun moments together. We became close to each other’s family and friends as well.

    We had great adventures and had really fun times. He even said that he’s never felt that kind of freedom in a relationship before. But there were times I made errors by making him jealous because I am a woman who seeks constant reassurance especially that he’s had a long list of exes before he met me. I got scared but he got me to trust him and I stopped making him jealous. It kinda worked because he really made me feel secure.

    Going to second year, we were doing great until one day one of his exes called. Sadly, I got mad at her for speaking falsely against me to my then bf. My then bf took her side even if he knows she was wrong. That raised suspicions that broke my trust. From then on we had numerous fights not only over that ex gf of his but with other women at his work as well. We went on and off the relationship. And because of this, I again made him feel jealous of my guy friends which made him reassure me of his love again.

    Second year, my jealousy continued over his gal friends and there was a time I feel like we were choking so I said I want to move out. He begged for me not to go. He even proposed to me and said we get married but I declined. I said I love him and I want to marry him but I need to go first. I went to another city.

    While I was away, we kept good communication over the phone. But as time passed, I still felt that jealousy in me and didn’t trust him enough. With that jealousy in mind, I went out with my new found friends, mostly guys, having drinking sprees, having a happy-go-lucky kinda life while ignoring my then bf. All these partying were published in social media.

    I didn’t pick up his calls neither did I replied to his messages. When I got back to our home city, I broke it off. Didn’t feel any sympathy for him during that time and so I went to another city again and tried to have fun without him but I got depressed after a couple of weeks. I missed him and wanted him back. I went back to our city. I didn’t tell him I’d like to get back together but he kept showing up at my door. He’s always drunk and begging. So I took him back.

    We lived together again. This was our third year. We had a good time when we got back and made new memories. I also got pregnant. But I learned later on that he was secretly contacting other various women.

    I got so frustrated plus I was still in my first trimester of pregnancy during that time so I was very emotional. I punched him in the eye that made his brows bleed. He didn’t say sorry for returning on his womanizing habits. And I was not also sorry for punching him–I thought he deserved it. After that we made up and became okay again.

    But after some months, he kept coming home late. Sometimes he’d come home at four to five in the morning, heavily drunk–coming home vomitting. I was so emotional during those times because he keeps on making me wait for him considering I was pregnant and alone in the house. I was scared. Despite that, I took care of him. I didn’t want to be violent again so I became vulnerable. I kept on crying and I couldn’t stop myself at times but he didn’t even care. He just let me cry. He never consoled me. He would rather sleep than communicate with me. He almost didn’t want to spend time with me.

    On my eight month of pregnancy, he left me without notice. I texted him asking why he isn’t home yet. To my shock, he said he won’t come home to me anymore. He said he didn’t love me anymore. He said his love for me started to fade since I broke up with him (nearly a year ago). He told me he was hurt by what I did in the other city especially when I got back to our home city and broke it off with him. He also told me that I keep on contacting different guys ever since the beginning of our relationship (making me look like a whore) that aggravated it all.

    After what he said, I was rushed to the hospital for emergency CS.

    He’s accused me of cheating and I kinda feel guilty for making him jealous before. But I did not cheat on him, I just wanted assurance that’s why I made him jealous.

    And all those jealousy was his reason for leaving me and our baby. I said sorry multiple times and desperately begged. He said this time, it’s really over and he’s not coming back for good. He was only sorry for our baby because she got dragged with our issues.

    When I’ve read your articles, only then have I realized that I’ve been doing the wrong things on getting him back.

    It’s been three months since the break up. I’ve tried to move on but realized I loved him and all that we shared. I want our family to be intact and I am really sorry for making him feel jealous and ignored before. I just want us to be happy again without that same old routine of making one another jealous and hurt. I’ve been improving on myself and taking care of our baby up to day.

    I tried NC but cannot last long because we have a child involved. I never initiate communication, I let him be the one to contact first.

    He keeps on telling me that his feelings for me is totally gone for good whenever he calls. He came at my place with cookies just to say he’s dating and says we could just be friends for the sake of the baby. He keeps on calling, texting, and chatting about me and our past relationship… which confuses me because he said he only wants to converse for our baby.

    Please help…
    I want the father of my baby back. :'(

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 7:32 pm

  7. Rachael

    August 18, 2017 at 5:10 am

    my bf of 5 years finally broke up with me about a month ago. we were incompatible from the start and i knew it wouldn’t last forever but he became my best friend. the breakup was mutual and respectful and for a full week afterwards we were still texting like best friends. but then i admitted to him that i had been cheating on him at the end of our relationship and he immediately wanted nothing to do with me. of course i don’t blame him for that and i don’t think we should ever get back together as boyfriend and girlfriend but i do miss my best friend. do you think it’s possible he will ever want to be friends again? should i bother trying to find out since i know that he thinks it’s unhealthy for him to even talk to me right now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 18, 2017 at 5:38 pm

      HI Rachael,

      Yeah someday when much time has passed.. It depends from a person to person but a safe bet would be maybe after 6 months or a year he would have moved on..

  8. Fig

    March 14, 2017 at 5:29 am

    We were in a long distance relationship. We were previously in a very committed and serious relationship. A close guy friend made a move on me because he knew we might be on the verge of breaking up. (just a kiss, nothing more.) I told my bf about it and we broke up. He did give me a second chance but it was so tiring on my end. I felt that he changed as he did not treat me with the same affection as he used to. I felt that I was treating him better than I treated myself and I was being very unfair to myself, and I got hurt very very badly by him. We ended it for good recently. I told him I dont want to be friends but I do regret it. I still want to get in touch with him and I still care. What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      Hi Fig,

      start the no contact rule and treat as a restart after.. Initiate contact and slowly rebuild rapport..

  9. Tanja

    March 11, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    My ex-fiancé & I broke up last July because I cheated. Ever since then we have been kinda on again off again if seeing & going out with each other. I have made all the mistakes of begging being a text & calling gnat shoring up st his house & even getting angry & saying mean ugly things to him because he won’t take me back completely. He has gone out with other girls is on every dating site you can think of but yet still talks to me & sees me when he wants. He has showed up at my house I’ve asked to him leave only for him to show up again. I be gone like 2 days without responding to him but then I always give in & text him. He will text right back with a response & ask y I ignored him & I would say I didn’t want to argue or fight & he would say I understand. I feel he still wants us but I also feel he’s stringing me along to at times. Just testing yo see if there’s something else out there but keeping me close forcehrn there’s not. Now with it being 8 mos since we broke up IDK if it’s too late to start a NC since we’ve been on & off or what to do. I have apologized many times & right now he’s away out of town on. Vaca & he wouldn’t tell me who he was going with. Idk if he won’t cause he’s playing mind games or if he took another girl but I have heard from him since he’s been gone which was yesterday. That was the last time we talked. So I’m not sure what to do now. Also he posted a pic of us on fbook but he used a big smiley face emoji to cover my face which I felt was very childish & Idk y he did that unless it was to get a reaction out of me or hurt me. & this was recently but he still text me like we are ok. Also he showed up at my house last Saturday says he still loves me wants us but he doesn’t know if he can trust me & then goes out with another girl Saturday night. It’s just a big mess & im not sure what to do now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 14, 2017 at 5:41 pm

      Hi Tanja,

      Nope don’t tell him, just start it..

  10. Yola

    February 28, 2017 at 11:14 am

    Hi Chris

    I cheated on my bf…we were right for two weeks then my ex contacted me so he thinks I’m still saying him he told his friends he wants nothing to do with me and we will never get together with me…is there hope after such.

  11. Kay

    February 9, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    I’ve been reading the site and looking at comments.. I cheated on my boyfriend about a year ago, and he found out a couple of weeks ago and immediately broke up with me. We’ve been together 5 years and I know in my heart that this isn’t it for us, but I don’t know how to make him see that now. He’s very angry and hurt but I just want him back. I’ve only tried to contact him once in 3 weeks and it was by letter, not a great response. I’m willing to try NC, but after watching your webinar, I’m not confident in how to make contact after. With this situation I don’t think texting him and saying “guess what happened” will be a good idea, there is a lot to be resolved. Can you guys be of any help?? What should my next step be?? I just need to make it right, I never wanted to hurt him and now it’s all a mess. We were going to be moving in together in a few months, he was going to start saving for a ring… I’m just lost

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2017 at 8:41 pm

      Hi Kay,
      Nope, try the approach above, apologize first before and after nc.. Check this one too:
      EBR 020- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated

  12. chelsea

    January 11, 2017 at 3:52 am


    I cheated on my boyfriend in June 2016 with my ex-boyfriend. He found out and was very hurt. We broke up for maybe a week and ended up back together. The trust was never 100% since that. In December 2016 he saw a text to my ex-boyfriend to meet him to talk about a problem and I had sent him a picture. He broke up with me on the spot and we tried to remain friends, that lasted for about a week until I had a breakdown and went “crazy” on him. Now we are not speaking as of late December. We have only sent a couple texts, and that was in order for him to arrange to pick up all of his clothes and items from my house. He says he is done and he is hurt. I am respecting that he and I both need to heal and am trying your NC rule. Is there anything else i should do/not do to help in our healing and hopefully our re-connection? Is there any hope or should I let this go?

    Thank you so much in advance.

    1. chelsea

      January 23, 2017 at 2:10 am

      the problem was a girl that my ex-ex had been dating was telling mutual friends that my ex-ex and I were seeing each other/dating. This was untrue and I wanted to meet him in person to discuss the issue. the picture i sent was a selfie of myself, one that i should have only sent to my boyfriend at the time. it was wrong. I had cut ties with my ex-ex completely prior to the issue with the girl spreading weird rumors. Since my last post, my ex and I spent 3 days together….and now we are not speaking again, aside from him sending me very emotionally fueled texts telling me I ruined our life together. I don’t know if I should respond, do the no-contact order (since I am in the wrong here) and let him have time and space to cool off so we are both in a better space….? How long should I wait to respond to him?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2017 at 4:14 pm

      let him cool down for a week and then explain, if he still doesn’t believe you then do the no contact rule

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 11, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      Hi Chelsea,

      what was the problem and the picture and why didn’t you cut ties with your ex?

  13. Kat

    November 30, 2016 at 2:38 am

    Hey Chris or Amor,
    I have loved looking through the articles and videos on your website and they have lifted my mood and made me feel a lot more confident about saving my relationship!
    However, I still need help…I have been in a relationship for a year and a half with my boyfriend, which has been the most special and amazing time of my life, and he truly became my best friend and soulmate during that time, however in September I moved to college in a different country whilst he stayed at home to work so the relationship became long distance, and at first it was good and we were calling each other and texting every day and were completely happy.
    However, as our time apart continued, I started liking another guy at college and contacting my boyfriend less and less and spending more time with the new guy I met at college. Over the holidays, I stayed at the new guys house, met his family and had a great time, and we got drunk and slept together one night. As soon as I came back from break, I called my boyfriend and decided to break up with him and admit that I cheated on him and wanted to be with someone else. However, NOW i have realized that was the worst decision of my life and I love my boyfriend so much and I want to get him back and stay with him for the rest of my life, because losing him has been the most painful experience I’ve ever had to go through, and I truly believe he is my soulmate, I just lost connection with him during these past months and took him for granted. He now hates me but said there may be a chance for us to reconcile and get back together in the future, but for now he says he cannot forgive me, and is betrayed and disgusted by what I did, making me hate myself but want him back so much! I am seeing him over Christmas when I get back home (in a months time) and we are going to meet up and talk. I have cut contact with the new guy in college and want to focus all my attention on getting my ex back, because he means the world to me and I cannot function without him, and I have learnt from this huge mistake and know I will never ever hurt him like this again.
    I am starting the NC rule today but am unsure its going to work/help in this situation, what do you think I should do/my action plan should be from now on? I have accepted that its my fault and apologized intensively for the last 2 days, and begged for him back, but he doesn’t want to listen to any of it.
    He says he wants to stay friends and know what’s going on in my life, even though I’ve told him I’m cutting contact with him for a while, so should I stay friends and reply to his messages, then see what happens at Christmas, or should I follow the NC rule and ignore his messages until I am home again.
    Please let me know whats the best thing to do,
    Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2016 at 7:43 pm

      Hi Kat,

      try to follow the no contact rule and focus in improving yourself.. because being friends now, will have more risk of being friendzoned.

  14. Sharon C

    October 22, 2016 at 10:31 pm

    Hey Chris or Amor! ive been reading your articles for about 2 weeks now. I LOVE the NC rule and everything you explain behind it. I have a situation on where I would love your advice. I had a bf for about 5 years. hes my longest relationship. we both loved eachother very very much. we were planning on getting married and all. early this year in 2016, in Febuary to be exact, I had a one night stand where I got black out drunk, & was without him. I regretted every minute of it afterwards and decided to keep it a secret for all eternity because I didn’t want to hurt my bf in any way. I decided to cut of all communications with the guy I slept with ad he understood why. fast forward 7 months later I come to find out that im pregnant by my boyfriend. we were SO HAPPY. dream come true! when I was about a month pregnant, someone anonymously decided to text my boyfriend and tell him EVERYTHING which included some lies that never happened. I know it wasn’t the dude I slept with bc had no contact with us like that. he ended up leaving me, and I moved out. started to deny the baby was his. we went without talking for about 3 weeks the longest. right now, we are in good terms.he calls the baby his now bc he knows its his daughter. I have the date we conceived, im 100% positive its his. I still love him without any doubt and want to get back with him and have the family that ive always wanted. he is currently “talking” to some chick. tells me that he doesnt want to be in a relationship with her. shes just to pass time but it hurts me SO MUCH that hes even just conversating with someone, which I know she doesn’t have anything on me. but still hurts ya know? :\ </3 since ive been BEGGING for him back, we even slept with eachother last week but he got upset afterwards and emotional and said "I just still feel bitter to be honest" ive been getting taking him lunch, his favorites specially. you know? try to make him remember how good I could be to him again. we feel our baby move together. we talk now but we don't fight because the fights affect me and my baby.he helped me get car. ive pretty much been doing everything wrong from what ive read on your articles. YESTERDAY I decided to start the NC rule. yes, I am on day one. lol last message I told him was that I was letting him go bc I couldn't do this anymore and I was just being hurt over and over again and expecting an outcome that possibly would never happen. he replied a long message how he understood and how loved me forever and always and "who knows what the future holds for us, im not against getting back together completely, im just not ready to try at this not ready to make a commitment like that to you, its not that it could never happen im just not there yet. and she (meaning girl hes speaking too) is not more important than you or my baby she just makes me happy right now. im not looking for a relationship from her because ive been in a relationship for the past 5 years and Im going to be single and enjoy myself for a while. thanks for wanting me to be happy and I will always love you too and never forget it" and I haven't replied. just need some advice on it. how long do you think I should do the NC for? and if I have the urge to speak to him what do I do. I feel so lost without him sometimes. probably most of it is my hormones as well. but I need to be strong and be independent to him and act as if I don't need him but I literally think about him NON stop. im so heartbroken I just want to fix this. I take back everything I ever did wrong. do you think Im doing the correct thing by the NC? do you think he will miss me? do you think we will get back together? btw, I am now 6 months and we have been separated since. but trying to be civil. but I want him as my lover again. I haven't given up on us. im afraid that he wont ever want to be together again even with me giving him his first child. My first baby too. thank you for your time.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 24, 2016 at 5:32 pm

      Hi Sharon c,

      It looks like there’s a good chance someday..Does he know it was just a one night stand and that you’ve cut all ties with the guy?

  15. kay

    September 22, 2016 at 6:26 pm

    Hi there firstly I would like to thank you for what you are doing. I went on a date with a married guy and my ex found out,he said he had forgiven me and we continued our relationship,this happened in June August was hell on and off depending on what he felt,we tried working things through then that married guy popped up unannounced,that made things worse and last Sunday he broke up with me. I have apologised a thousand times even suggested counselling but he wont take me back. He says he would rather have me as a friend which is really painful. He talks to me texts me but just wont date me. Am meeting him on Saturday to say bye and part ways which is painful. What do I do,I need this guy back. The married guy wont leave me alone too pops up at work calls even drives by my place. What do I do please help me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 23, 2016 at 3:33 pm

      Hi Kay,

      did you mean you dated the married guy during your relationship? Well, if he really is bothering you and won’t listen, get a restraining order. Just be civil with your ex. Be calm. Don’t be emotional. Follow what’s advised in the video above and take it slow after nc..

  16. rachel

    September 9, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    So me and my ex broke up 2 months ago. It has been chaos ever since. He is alwys angry msging me claiming that i have slept with this guy and that. He has a long list of guys that he has made up in his mind that i have slept with. I have tried explaining to him countless times but he doesnt seem to be working. I even read the article that states if i have been falsely accused of cheating.
    I have tried everything, i followed that article and not spoken to him for more than a week but i alwys ended up replying to him because of his angry msgs daily.
    I got really fedup and i knew where he was working ysterday, i showed up and he wsnt pleased. We had a huge fight, with him walking away and me following him and him throwing his phone and asking me to leave but i didnt. I begged him to make it work with me but he kept refusing and saying he hasnt had feelings for me in a long time even when we were together. It was very hurtful, it ended up with him getting into his car and driving away.
    I went home all numb and he continued angry msging me in the middle of the night, he sent me a video of him cutting up our picture together, That really HURT !
    He is really angry at me and no matter what i do, he just keeps getting angry at me. He seems so adamant on never getting back together, he is at a point where he hates me ! He has been extremely angry at me for 2 months straight and after last night it got way worst ! Again he deleted my number in front of my face and he has blocked me everywhere including whatsapp now.
    I guess i have to work with this programme as he is heavily convinced that I have cheated on him.
    What should i do ? Please advice.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 10, 2016 at 11:51 am

      Hi Rachel,

      stop feeding the fire Rachel.. I know you’ll keep doing what you want to do and I understand that and I also think that’s the only way that can help you realize that the more you answer, the more you show up, the more you beg, the more it will make him angry or take advantage of that power by continuing to be angry at you.

      You basically keep on reacting to him and it’s making him feel good. Take the high road. Ignore and improve yourself. Learn to live life that he’s the only who’s angry.

      You’ve explained. That’s enough. Don’t lower your value by continuing to chase him.

      Stop reacting to him.. It’s like you keep riding the worst ride in the carnival and expecting it to make you feel better the next time you ride it.

  17. What happens now?

    May 30, 2016 at 3:32 pm

    Hey there! My husband and I have been married four years and have a two year old son. He is currently on a 6 month deployment overseas. 6 weeks ago I had a one night stand with another woman. Our relationship was good but I wanted to explore my sexuality and was unable to resist the temptation of an open opportunity. I confessed and he told me that we were done. I didn’t follow no contact at first and apologized over and over for about a month. Through the month, he sent me mixed signals by telling me a few times that he loved me still but he is very hurt. A few days ago he told me he’s dating a woman who he was flirting with a few years ago. I have been doing no contact since he told me he’s dating this woman. He’s been texting me twice a day since he’s told me about the other woman and I have not replied to any of them. There was once he asked to Facetime our son and during the call, I went into another room. What do you suggest I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 31, 2016 at 4:36 pm

      It’s ok to talk about your son only but if he’s not wanting to get back with you, don’t respond to that or tell him you’re not ready to talk about that stuff yet.

  18. Jess

    March 4, 2016 at 12:42 pm

    Hi, I’ve got two of your ebooks and read tons of articles. I’m so grateful for all your help. But I have a question, that I can’t seem to find on here. I’m into day 27 of no contact, and after some soul searching and meditation, I’ve realised that there were a few things I did that would have been hurtful to my ex. We both did, but I’ve come to realize we were both to blame. We had a great relationship, but it just got very stressful for both of us (work commitments, buying a house) He broke up with me and after the god send that is the 30day NC, I have come to realise that there are things I would like to say sorry for. Though I’m not sure when I should say them. Should I say something before first contact text or after? Like when the conversation starts flowing again? Again thanks for your help. It’s amazing to come across a site like this and not have to pay millions for BS!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2016 at 6:36 am

      Hi Jess,

      thanks for buying and appreciating our books! hmm.. how heavy is it? I mean, according on how well you know him, and from what happened, are those things something you should say sorry first? If you start talking first, would he think about them rather than just talk to you?

      If you say it first, would it cause tension or it’s just something you could say while in the conversation and then he would forgive and move on?

  19. Blue

    February 23, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    I had to go through NC for 15 time last year. Our dates that he initiates are always unforgettable and then he withdraws again. He can not forgive that I was in rebound relationship after our breaking up 2 years ago, even though I cut all ties with my rebound and I returned back to my ex. He arranged beautiful date again a month and half ago. We had beautiful 2 days like we used to have before. And then nothing. This rollingcoster of hot and cold behavior kills me. Again NC from my side and he does not respond my emails anymore. What is this? what should I do next?

    1. Blue

      February 24, 2016 at 12:18 pm

      yes,it took little bit longer then a year. one year and half . but it finishes with the withdrawal again. And I have to restart again and again. any advise?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 12:59 pm

      Hmmm, take it slow after nc this time..Make him work for you.. And also, I think you have to focus on you this time of nc instead of just aiming to geet him back..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 8:10 am

      Hi Blue,
      by 15 times, do you mean 15 all completed nc?

  20. kathryn

    February 21, 2016 at 2:53 pm

    I have bought all your products, have listened to your iPod casts etc but still am having problems with get a response out of my ex. I was in a 10 yr relationship with my high school sweetheart and 4 months ago he left me because I had depression and it caused me to cheat on him twice. he was heartbroken and told me he was falling out of love with me (probably due to my depression and cheating) and I haven’t heard from him since. he’s completely blocked me out of his life Facebook, email, phone, texts etc. I have tried everything and he was able to handle the first event of cheating on a reasonable level to the point he wouldn’t leave me. a few months later i was in a bad situation another guy forced himself on me and i took responsibility for it and told him i cheated on him again. We’re 27 and have been through 10 years of everything, ups and downs long distance – everything we have gotten over it until now. Its been 4 months I haven’t heard from him since October and I don’t know what to do. I feel there is no hope or chance to regain his love for me again and to have him want to come back and contact me without me trying to contact him first. He doesn’t reply to any emails, phone calls or texts etc. How can I fix this and have him want to be with me again?
    I have read all your “books” and have done non contact for 30 days and haven’t heard anything from him. i have no way of reaching out and feel i could be waiting for him to get to me for months or a year or more for him to want to come back. he has put he’s single on Facebook and changed his profile pics. I’m worried I have no way of bringing him back.

    Thank you

    1. kathryn

      February 22, 2016 at 1:05 pm

      no he blocked me after he broke up with me last october than i only did 30 days no contact last month and i tried to contact him last week with a text message i got nothing back. I’m willing to pay anything for step by step guidance on how to approach him i have used psychologists and relationship therapists on what i should do and nothing has worked. he blocked me completely last october and i haven’t heard anything at first i was texting him a lot and calling him and did things i shouldn’t have i did the 30 days no contact sent a text didn’t get a reply and now i don’t know what i should do – do i need to do another 30 day no contact

    2. kathryn

      February 21, 2016 at 11:20 pm

      i don’t know what specific steps to follow i have listened to pod casts and i am wondering do i do another 30 day no contact which will be easy since he’s cut me out completely! and then send a text but i don’t know how to approach him without his defence mechanisms going up and completely ignoring me its been 4 months since I’ve heard a word from him and I’m trying to break this wall of silence he’s put up

    3. kathryn

      February 21, 2016 at 10:53 pm

      i did no contact for the past month only because i was trying to contact him first after he broke with me so i did the efforts after that 30 day no contact

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2016 at 3:32 pm

      Hi Kathryn,

      was all your efforts during those four months while you were blocked?

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