One of my all time favorite interviews was with Buffy,
Yeeouch!
Actually, when I refrence the interview with Buffy I am talking about a girl who is widely known in our Facebook Support Group, Sarah Michelle Stevens!
You see, Sarah Michelle ended up getting her ex boyfriend back after he told her all sorts of ridiculous things like,
I don’t love you anymore…
We aren’t meant to be…
Etc…
You get the picture.
Here is the original interview in case you are interested: Watch The Original Interview Here
Well, a few weeks ago I recently conducted a follow up interview with Sarah Michelle to see how she was doing and most importantly, if she was still with the ex boyfriend that she fought so hard to get back.
What ensued afterwards was one of the best interviews I have ever conducted.
Let me just put it this way, I think this woman is the true “ex whisperer.”
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizWatch The Interview
What We Talk About In The Interview
- We catch up on Buffys situation
- What to do when your ex boyfriend breaks up with you again
- How to use jealousy effectively
- How to handle an ex who is begging for you back
Anouk Andelhofs
September 11, 2021 at 9:39 am
Hi, My ex broke up with me a month ago for the second time. The first time we were together for a year and after 8 months we got back together. During those 8 months he was very hot and cold. Now we were together for a year and 2 months, we lived together for 4 months and then he said he wasn’t happy anymore… I found out he texted his ex that he missed her and he also said this to his friends, that he missed his relationship with his ex. When I adressed this, he said that he send that during a ‘low’ time and he loves me and not her. But stuff with his ex happened multiple times, but I always forgive him. He was mad because I always checked his facebook and he felt like he did not have privacy and I said I would change but i kept checking… He was crying really bad during the breakup and two weeks after I got my stuff from his house and he said he will miss me. But I still didn’t heard anything from him and I also don’t contact him or never begged/pleaded. We ended things without a fight. Do I still have a chance? Or does he love his ex more than me?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 12, 2021 at 10:49 pm
Hi Anouk yes you could still be in with a chance, but you mention this ex, was he with her for a long time? What is their history. If he moved on quickly from her to you then there is a chance that he is questioning himself about what he really wants and the familiar feeling he had with her. I would suggest that you work the UG information and start reaching out to him with the texting phase Chris suggests after 45 days of NC
shanice
April 27, 2018 at 6:18 am
Hi again Amor, it’s shanice. I’m back after everything that has happened. We actually got back together eventually on the 3rd of March, with him saying that he wishes to try again. However, a few days back we had a quarrel over something pretty small. I thought it was nothing but he ended up saying that he’s tired of the same things happening although we do not quarrel much. Again he mentioned that he feels we are better as normal friends. I personally feel it was a rather rash decision on his part and I do hope we get to try again, especially after everything we had been through. Would it be stupid for me to wish so? I will be starting no contact soon after he replies my latest messages and we stop talking..
Chris Seiter
April 27, 2018 at 3:03 pm
Hi Shanice. I don’t think its stupid to feel this way. To optimize your chances, consider picking up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro as it will serve as your Companion Guide as your work your way through this process.
shanice
April 27, 2018 at 4:37 pm
hi chris! definitely i will be starting on no contact asap, right after we finish up the last bit of talking about the break up. i also wish to start nc soon, but he’s replying me super slowly and i just want us to finish having this “closure” talk. however, we will be playing an overseas tournament together next week and hence we’ll be “together” for a few days, do you have any advice for what i should do during those days?
Chris Seiter
April 28, 2018 at 4:59 am
Hi Shanice…just keep moving forward with the closure talks, but trying to reduce the frequency. At the tournament…you job is to have a wonderful time and not worry about anything. Act natural and be happy.
shanice
April 28, 2018 at 8:56 am
Hey Chris, I want to complete and end up the closure talk but he did not reply. I texted him good luck this morning and he replied to that but not the messages above. Previously he had also read my messages and replied quite a few hours also. I am wondering if he was planning to reply or if my good luck message kinda ruined it. I should not text him again to ask why he has not responded on the previous messages right? I feel very lost without the answers but I know that texting him again may annoy him. Thank you 🙁
Chris Seiter
April 28, 2018 at 11:36 pm
Hi Shanice…I agree. The risk of annoyance is not worth trying to get clarification. Perhaps he is starting to gain some closure and is trying to cut himself off.
shanice
April 29, 2018 at 5:39 am
yep i agree with you chris. eventually he replied, and i’ve ended the conversation now with me not replying to his latest message. so this is where i implement no contact right? fingers crossed it will work for both him and i! i’ll update anything here if that is fine x
Chris Seiter
April 29, 2018 at 9:01 pm
Googdluck Shanice!
shanice
May 1, 2018 at 10:07 am
hey there chris, i know it has only been a few days since i started nc but its been pretty hard… my ex and i both follow each other on our private/spam instagram accounts, where we only allow a few selected close friends to follow. since the breakup, he has posted captions with “always will be the one that got away” and “what if we happened” and I cant help but feel that these arent about me but about another girl… in addition, he usually doesn’t watch movies in the cinema as he feels it is quite a waste of money. however, he just posted another photo with a caption about infinity war. again i feel worried that he might have watched it with a girl, but i know i could also be overthinking because he might have watched it with his mates too… what should i do? i just feel so scared that he might have already moved on/is thinking about another girl from his past…
Chris Seiter
May 1, 2018 at 4:47 pm
Maybe you should consider joining my Private Facebook Support Group Community. It has over a thousand women in it and they really do a great job helping each other through their pain and fears. I do weekly live webcasts there also. You can find information about it on my website (Menu/Products link). Let me know what you think!
shanice
May 2, 2018 at 11:46 am
hi chris, at the moment i find that i do not have the money to spend on joining the website. is it okay if it just post my thoughts here? i know that by joining it would really help me but i just dont think i can do so at the moment… would it be okay if i continue to comment here?
Chris Seiter
May 3, 2018 at 1:28 am
Sure Shanice…you are always welcomed here!
shanice
February 28, 2018 at 3:42 am
hi there. i told him that if he feels that way then yes i would agree that we should not meet up. however, we have been talking quite consistently even up till now… and he continues to show signs that he really cares. we recently played a competition together in the same team and when the team was going to go eat dinner he stuck v close to me and sat together in the bus, he knocked his leg against mine as though he was flirting(?) with me. when he left the table for a bit he left his belongings with me like he used to, and even rubbed my head. when i was falling asleep on the bus he put my head on his shoulder too. im still not sure what everything means. yes he has made it aware that he is still physically attracted to me and would want sex but he says he does not want to do anything we both do not want. but what do you think of what he’s doing? i feel like when i am in front of him its harder for him to control his feelings and hence he shows all these signs of affection towards me but im not sure… am definitely not trying to rush anything now, just a bit confused.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 1, 2018 at 10:49 am
Yeah he is attracted to you but you have to do what you said you would, spend less time with him and do more of other activities..so, that you don’t appear easy and that he will miss you..
shanice
February 22, 2018 at 2:00 pm
i would also like to mention that after he said everything, he said that of course he still cares a lot for me. he still seems to get quite concerned and worried when i feel stressed and all but im sure if i ask him about it he’ll simply say he’s just concerned. but i dont know if it means anything. thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 26, 2018 at 4:16 pm
Looks like it’s moving too fast for him and he doesn’t want you to expect much and it also looks like he wants to be friends with benefits, but don’t do that.. What did you say when he said you should cut back on meeting up?
shanice
February 22, 2018 at 1:58 pm
hey amor, my ex and i were talking via insta dm for a bit, but i wasnt sure what exactly it was so i told him i knew he didnt wanna talk so i tried to end the conversation there. recently he asked me out to go eat after we both attended a mutual event and although i could not eat, we ended up going home together and talking a lot. before we parted ways he surprisingly gave me a hug and said to let him know when i reached home. we have been talking via whatsapp ever since. it seemed to be going really good but not long back, he suddenly brought up about how we should not meet up to eat or anything because he is not ready for anything rn. He says he has a lot of things going on and he wouldnt want us to meet and for something to start again. He also mentioned that its probably better if we both try to move on rather than remain “stuck”. he has brought up having sex but he says he knows it would be hard for both of us. despite talking about all of this, even until now we continue to talk and he still sounds v caring and genuine. could it be that he is unsure about what he wants and just feels he is not ready to commit yet? what should i do? thx for all the replies xx
shanice
February 5, 2018 at 3:55 am
hey Amor, it’s shanice again. my ex recently contacted me, and we talked for a little bit. have to admit that it was not past 30 days of nc, but i still responded… it was around day 25. he asked me “what happened to you” because he knew i was facing some troubles that i mentioned on my instagram. we ended up talking for a few days and throughout he rly sounded like he was very interested and even wanted to help me with my work (a coding assignment) and volunteered to come over to my place to help. however after we talked it through for quite awhile, we decided it may not be the best decision should anything happen that may make us feel sad afterwards. he showed many signs of being interested at the start such as continuing the conversation when i tried to end it but now he’s saying that he was actually just “really very concerned” (though i doubt he would text just any girl to ask how they are). now we are no longer talking, but we didn’t end on a bad note. we just agreed that we should not do such meet ups in a personal space for now. sorry for breaking nc 🙁 do u have any advice for me now? is all hope lost? please help
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2018 at 12:15 pm
Hi Shanice,
that’s ok.. just continue slowly building rapport in the text phase for now.
shanice
February 2, 2018 at 9:47 am
hey Amor, it’s shanice again. my ex recently contacted me, and we talked for a little bit. have to admit that it was not past 30 days of nc, but i still responded… it was around day 25. he asked me “what happened to you” because he knew i was facing some troubles that i mentioned on my instagram. we ended up talking for a few days and throughout he rly sounded like he was very interested and even wanted to help me with my work (a coding assignment) and volunteered to come over to my place to help. however after we talked it through for quite awhile, we decided it may not be the best decision should anything happen that may make us feel sad afterwards. he showed many signs of being interested at the start such as continuing the conversation when i tried to end it but now he’s saying that he was actually just “really very concerned” (though i doubt he would text just any girl to ask how they are). now we are no longer talking, but we didn’t end on a bad note. we just agreed that we should not do such meet ups in a personal space for now. sorry for breaking nc 🙁 do you have any advice for me now? is all hope lost? sorry if this is coming as spam, i just don’t see it appearing it on the page so i’m sending it in quite a few times.
shanice
February 2, 2018 at 9:07 am
hey Amor, it’s shanice again. my ex recently contacted me, and we talked for a little bit. have to admit that it was not past 30 days of nc, but i still responded… it was around day 25. he asked me “what happened to you” because he knew i was facing some troubles that i mentioned on my instagram. we ended up talking for a few days and throughout he rly sounded like he was very interested and even wanted to help me with my work (a coding assignment) and volunteered to come over to my place to help. however after we talked it through for quite awhile, we decided it may not be the best decision should anything happen that may make us feel sad afterwards. he showed many signs of being interested at the start such as continuing the conversation when i tried to end it but now he’s saying that he was actually just “really very concerned” (though i doubt he would text just any girl to ask how they are). now we are no longer talking, but we didn’t end on a bad note. we just agreed that we should not do such meet ups in a personal space for now. sorry for breaking nc 🙁 do you have any advice for me now? is all hope lost?
shanice
February 2, 2018 at 8:51 am
hey Amor, it’s shanice again. my ex recently contacted me, and we talked for a little bit. have to admit that it was not past 30 days of nc, but i still responded… it was around day 25. he asked me “what happened to you” because he knew i was facing some troubles that i mentioned on my instagram. we ended up talking for a few days and throughout he rly sounded like he was very interested and even wanted to help me with my work (a coding assignment) and volunteered to come over to my place to help. however after we talked it through for quite awhile, we decided it may not be the best decision should anything happen that may make us feel sad afterwards. he showed many signs of being interested at the start such as continuing the conversation when i tried to end it but now he’s saying that he was actually just “really very concerned” (though i doubt he would text just any girl to ask how they are). now we are no longer talking, but we didn’t end on a bad note. we just agreed that we should not do such meet ups in a personal space for now. sorry for breaking nc 🙁 do u have any advice for me now? is all hope lost?
shanice
January 19, 2018 at 3:07 pm
hey there, yep i’m currently 2 weeks into nc. i haven’t texted him/called him/liked any of his social media etc. he follows my personal instagram account which i only let a few friends in on, and previously he didn’t like/comment on my photos at all, but recently he’s been consistently liking all of my posts. we also play the same sport, so sometimes we bump into each other at games. when i was leaving one day we accidentally made eye contact and i wanted to just wave bye to his friend and him, but he ended up asking me why i had to leave and where i was going. not saying that all of this means anything but am i heading into the right direction? i still wonder how he is……
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 20, 2018 at 4:40 am
Yup you are! Continue improving yourself and doing posts that doesn’t disappear after 24 hours like ig stories.. Do less of those..do posts that stays..
shanice
January 7, 2018 at 5:13 am
Hi there, my ex-boyfriend just broke up with me again. The first time we were together for 10 months, broken up for 5 months, and slowly started talking a little afterwards. We started off as friends and eventually got back together. We were together again for close to 2 years. He said he felt we were no longer compatible and when I asked in what sense all he could say was “simple stuff like you not understanding me and vice versa” but I honestly don’t see any such issue and I feel we go great together. Is there any chance of us getting back together and how can I go about this? I really care for him and love him so much, we did envision a future together before.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 9, 2018 at 8:33 pm
Hi Shanice,
do you want to try the nc rule?
N
December 21, 2017 at 10:48 am
My ex broke up with me two months back i applied no contact rule we are working together and few days back i hear from his friends that he was crying and he is missing me i sent to him text that i remember this movie that we saw together he replied that he misses me we have talked twice at work he told me that he still missing me and loves me but he can’t be in a relationship we arranged a date to talk then he canceled our date and text me that he promises he will make me happy t… unfortunately i rushed my feelings and he text me that he can’t be in a relationship i was so angry and said that i don’t want him back and to forget me .. he read my messages with no reply .. please help me as i’m seeing him everyday and i have no idea how to treat him or to win him back ..p.s he will leave the work soon and i’m really afraid l..yesterday he told me that he misses me and he can’t talk right now ..few days later i found one of our common friends saying that they talked about me and he said that he is afraid of commitment he changed his number he is ignoring me even if we meet each other face to face at work please help me
thanks in advance
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 25, 2017 at 6:12 pm
Hi N,
check this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex
Nath
October 9, 2017 at 9:30 am
Hello Amor,
Thank you for your reply. I think you are right, I have decided to move on as best as I can. If I still feel like reaching out to him in some time, I will do at least 45 days of NC.. The thing is that I would just like to reestablish a friendly contact without pushing him further away – I’m not even expecting us to get back together, just talk – normally.
I have no idea how to do that. I feel like texting him or calling him will just look weird. He told me to leave him alone, and I have no good reason to contact him anymore. And he blocked me on Messenger. Don’t know if the phone is blocked too, but that is a possibility. So how can I reach out to him in a safe way? That will look as natural and casual as possible. Because I think a text message is just screaming “desperate”, and make him think that I still want him back.
What do you think?
Best regards,
Nath
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2017 at 2:24 pm
Set a limit on until when you would wait for him to initiate..
Nath
October 7, 2017 at 8:26 pm
And how do I turn the power balance in my favor? Because obviously he keeps leaving me (or threatens me to do so), because he knows where he has me… He knows that I keep waiting and wanting him back.
Really need some tips….
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 8, 2017 at 11:35 pm
Hi Nath,
Then don’t do it.. For me you should move on.. If you don’t want to, set your life up with new routines that doesn’t involve him even if you get him back…have your own life.. Do at least 45 days nc.. And then after that, initiate contact and slowly rebuild rapport while maintaining your new routine
Nath
October 7, 2017 at 8:19 pm
So I have kind of the similar situation. My ex broke up with me the second time. We have been together for 1,5 year. He’s 24, I’m 21. We have had a lot of fighting in our relationship, which have lead to break ups. During every major fight my ex used to threaten me with leaving (he usually regretted that in minutes..)
The first time my ex broke up with me, I followed 30 days of NC, used text messages to rebuild attraction etc etc. I was the one who had to reach out first. Basically I followed the tips on how this website. And I got him back… We were together for 4 more months. Went on vacation, and right after the vacation he broke up AGAIN during a MAJOR fight. The reason for the break up was of course the all of the fighting. And yes, that shatters everything, but I still love him… and would so like to make it work, maybe I should just move on???
The second break up was about a month ago. I tried to reach out to him again this time to get some of my stuff back. I got it back. But he no longer wants to talk to me, he blocked me on messenger. He says he is very angry with me, I think it’s because I handled the break up pretty bad. I begged, pleaded (turned into that psycho-desperate ex, haha… oops.) And when I reached out to him this time after NC, altough I tried to get a hold of myself I only made myself look desperate again. I sent a lot of txt messages, tried to call (he didn’t pick up).
He also told me, that he no longer loves me (maybe to push me away?)
So I’m not surprised he blocked me on Messenger. I don’t know if he blocked my phone nr, didn’t try to call. I know that the more I push, the more opposite the outcome.. just couldn’t control my emotions.
It’s been 10 days since I was blocked on messenger. I haven’t reached out since and have no intention to fuck it further up. My question is; how do I get him back again? Do I even have a chance? I think I will do 60 days of no contact, work on myself, think things through. But how should I establish contact again?
Obviously the strategy I used the first time, is not working (no surprise) -he can see right through all of my intentions. And I would really like to make it work this time. Don’t wanna put myself through a third break up, if i end up getting him back again. Need advice on how to get him back -how long NC? And what is the best way to reach out to him?
Best regards,
Nath
Anon
October 5, 2017 at 12:01 pm
I know a lot of the success stories include an ex who still had emotional attachment to you. If ex had been distancing himself gradually to the point of seeing you as only a friend and you now accept the blame for what has happened and not seeing the signs. Is he really over it? Personally I care so deeply about this person and am willing to do anything to get him back caring about me. I don’t see any hope though, could you please advise me? He started texting girls romantically the day after the breakup and now has one he is infatuated with
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 6, 2017 at 9:20 pm
why not try the no contact rule? Listen to this one too:
EBR 003: Does Having Your Own Life Help You Get Your Ex Back?