Hey what’s up Chris Seiter here.
And today we’re going to be talking about three of the most important strategies that you need to be employing if you want your ex back. But first, one of the most asked about questions that I get is,
Chris do I even have a chance with my ex?
I put together this quiz and designed it to help you understand what kind of chance you have with your ex. It will only take you about a minute and a half to complete. It’s a really high quality quiz and it’s not like one of those quizzes that you see on one of those “for fun” websites.
You know like what kind of Jedi are you or something like that.
This is an actual quiz that will take your answers, put it through an algorithm and give you an idea of everything I’ve seen from my experience and what your chances are from it.
So, if you want to take that quiz all you have to do is stop by our website www.exboyfriendrecovery.com and click on the “start here” button.
And also if you are watching this on YouTube and you want to take the quiz simply look in the description link below and click on the link there. It’ll take you right to the quiz were you can complete it.
Three Strategies To Employ If You Want To Get Your Ex Back
I’ve been doing this for about six and a half years.
I started my website ex boyfriend recovery back in 2012 and started working with people going through breakups then. Over the years, after I’ve seen many situations, I began to notice that there are three prevalent strategies that people use to get their exes back.
And so what I’d like to do today is show you what those three strategies are and make sure that you’re implementing them correctly if you are trying to get your ex back.
So, one thing that people always tend to ask me is they’ll come to me and say,
Chris what are the very best strategies for getting an ex back?
And there’s a lot of different strategies.
I’ve covered many on my YouTube channel and my website. But after six plus years I began noticing a very interesting “through line.”
There are certain strategies that people typically employ to get results and I always find it helpful to point these strategies out to people so they can actually see what other people are doing that is working.
So, those three strategies are,
- The value chain or the idea of the value chain.
- The no contact rule which I’ve talked about quite a bit
- A synergy of commitment.
Now, some of these things you may have heard of and some of these things you may not have heard of.
I’m going to go really quick give you a crash course on each one of these three strategies starting from the top.
Let’s start with the value chain.
1. The Value Chain
So, what is a value chain?
Well, in business people use value ladders or value chains to describe exactly how a product gets from point A to point B.
- How it’s thought up
- How it’s made
- How it’s sold
So in essence it’s a blueprint, right?
What I’ve done is created a value chain, blueprint or game plan for people who want to try to get their exes back.
I’ve actually got it broken up into four components here as you can see,
The four components are,
- The no contact rule
- Text messaging
- Phone calls, Facetime, Skype
- In person interactions.
But you’ll notice that each one of these levels of the value chain has certain sub levels so there are certain things that you need to do to get the most out of the no contact rule and once you do those things you can advance on to texting and so on and so forth.
That’s really how the value chain is meant to work.
Personally, I notice that when people stick to this basic value chain blueprint they tend to get a lot better results than people who, let’s say do a no contact rule and skip immediately to that in person interaction.
By doing so, they’re skipping two important processes of the value chain.
So, the value chain is one of the most important strategies for getting an ex back and really the big takeaway I want you to take from this is that it takes discipline to see this through to the end.
Let’s move onto the next big strategy.
2. The No Contact Rule
If you actually go back towards the value chain you can see that the no contact rule is the first step of the value chain.
And the no contact rule, to my knowledge is responsible for about 70 percent of the success stories that we’ve had on our website. But that number is even greater because I believe 100 percent of our success stories in our private Facebook group have utilized a no contact rule as well in some way shape or form.
So, what is a no contact rule?
Well I’ve done lots of videos about it so if you want a more in-depth explanation go to our YouTube channel, type in “no contact rule” and I have done multiple videos on it.
But the quick crash course definition is,
It’s a period of time, usually between 21 to 45 days where you ignore your ex in an attempt to make them miss you while at the same time cultivating your own personal life.
So that’s the no contact rule.
From what I’ve seen what separates the people who are successful with the no contact rule from the people who are unsuccessful is that the people who are successful use their time wisely.
Let’s say you are ignoring your ex for 30 days.
Chances are, you’re not going to sit around twiddle your thumbs and hope the sky falls and he’ll come drop into your lap.
No, the people who tend to get better results are the people who really work on cultivating their own personal life. They really try to make leaps forward in areas that they’ve always wanted to make leaps forward in.
Think of yourself as kind of like a caterpillar. A caterpillar is ultimately undergoing this metamorphosis over into a butterfly, right?
So, when you start the no contact you’re kind of a caterpillar but by the end of the no contact rule you want to be a butterfly.
That’s the best maybe visual imagery I can give you.
Now let’s move onto the synergy of commitment.
3. The Synergy Of Commitment
What do I mean by synergy of commitment?
Well we talked about the value chain and we talked about the no contact rule. Those are two key strategies that we’ve seen work time and time again but when actually comes to getting a commitment out of an ex that’s a different thing.
I’ve notice that there’s a synergy between six different principles.
- Fear of loss
If you can create these six different components there’s a highly likely chance that you’re going to push your ex over the edge and he will want to commit to you.
Let’s talk about each one of these things
So, what is satisfaction?
Well, in this context satisfaction is how satisfied your partner is with the relationship
This is if he’s sitting there thinking,
Wow I could do better than her.
Is there a better alternative out there?
How much has he invested into the relationship?
The most common misconception I see with investment is people actually come and sit and think that investment is only in the form of him saying certain nice things to them.
Investment can be things like,
- how much money he’s investing
- how much time he’s invested
- how much emotional energy he’s invested into this relationship
They’ve done really interesting studies and they’ve seen that actually when you look at people who are very unsatisfied with their relationships and you look at people who really believe that they have better alternatives out there than the person they’re with they will still not leave that relationship if they feel like they’ve invested too much time, energy and money into it.
So, investment is kind of the big 500 pound elephant in the room that no one ever talks about.
Scarcity is if you feel you have done a good job of making your ex believe that you are one of a kind. T
Not too much more to unpack here.
Is there an urgent reason that you would make your ex want to actively commit to you?
Again, not too much to unpack here
Fear of Loss
If he doesn’t commit to you have you done a decent job of making him think he’ll lose you forever?
Over the years I’ve noticed there’s a really interesting synergy between these six principles. What I’ve noticed is that there are six principles in all that really go into getting a commitment but you can group these six principles into two different categories,
You’ve got the category that attacks his reasoning
Category #1: Factors That Attack His Reasoning
Every ex will have a reason for why they don’t want to commit back to you.
These three principles,
Really work to attack that reasoning to convince him that he should commit to you.
Category #2: Factors That Make Him Want To Commit NOW
And then of course are the factors that make him want to commit NOW.
So, factors that attack his reasoning aren’t always enough to make him want to commit right NOW.
Well, that’s where the second category comes into play.
As long as you can couple scarcity, urgency and fear of loss you can create an active reason so that he wants to commit to you right now.
This is how you get a commitment from a birds eye view and those are three of the most common strategies that I’ve seen people use time and time again.