This is the ultimate guide on what to do if your ex boyfriend blocks you.

And I want to be crystal clear about one thing. This is NOT one of those lame guides that is going to be 100 words of fluff.

Instead you can expect this guide to take an in-depth look on exactly how to handle a situation where you’ve been blocked in all forms of communication including (but not limited to,)

  • Texting
  • Calling
  • Facebook
  • WhatsApp
  • SnapChat
  • Skype
  • Email
  • Etc.

Let’s dive right in!

(Side Note: If you get through this guide and find yourself thinking, “I need more information about this,” then I highly recommend you check out my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

Understanding Why You Were Blocked

Ziad K. Abdelnour (author of Economic Welfare) once said,

“If someone is going out of his way to ignore you, he is not ignoring you, he is obsessed by you.”

I love that quote because everything about it is true. Think about it for a moment. Every time a woman comes to this site and decides to implement the no contact rule she is technically obsessed with her ex boyfriend. He is on her mind the second she wakes up for the day, the second she gets in her car to go to work and the second she closes her eyes to go to sleep.

So, when an ex boyfriend blocks you does it mean that he is obsessed with you?

I would say that he is.

However, the issue that you are running into is that he is obsessed with you for the wrong reasons.

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Obsessed For The Wrong Reasons?

Ahh… here is where things begin to get a little tricky. Lets take the examples I gave above :

(A woman going into no contact VS. An ex boyfriend blocking that woman)

Ok, a woman who visits this site and reads about the no contact rule will probably want her ex boyfriend back. That means when she thinks about him she is probably filled with good feelings. Sure, maybe there were some really bad fights and the relationship wasn’t as strong as she thought but if she is willing to try the no contact rule then deep down she really wants things to work and probably still loves her boyfriend.

I would consider this to be “obsessed” but for the right reasons (being obsessed usually isn’t a good thing though as I will point out shortly but bear with me here.)

Lets turn our attention to an ex boyfriend who has decided to block his ex girlfriend. First off, being blocked by an ex is never a good thing. Lets not beat around the bush here. If you have been blocked this is really bad.

However, I did mention above that if an ex blocks you it probably means that a part of him is obsessed with you.

Unfortunately, he is obsessed with you for the wrong reasons. There is only one way I can think of to describe this phenomenon. You are annoying to your ex boyfriend. Every time he thinks about you he is not filled with good feelings he is filled with annoyance. While he thinks about you often the feelings he gets aren’t good.

The challenge that you are going to faced with is to determine if he is worth the effort required to turn his bad feelings into good feelings but more on that later.

For now I would like to dive a little deeper into the mindset of a man who has blocked you.

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Why He Blocked You

I am about to give you the biggest advantage ever.

I am a man who has blocked women before. Some of the women I blocked were exes and some of them were just friends that pushed me to the point where I couldn’t deal with them anymore. I am going to let you in on exactly what caused me to block these women. In addition to that I have literally seen hundreds of women be blocked by their exes so I know all the main reasons for a “block” to happen.

My point here is that what I talk about on this page may be hard to hear but it is going to prepare you and maybe get some light bulbs to go off. Lets start with one of the most interesting reasons a man could potentially block you.

It Hurts Too Much To Talk To You

This is something that I have experienced first hand which is why I know it exists. In fact, this is something that I have to explain to my one on one coaching clients a lot.

I guess if there was ever going to be a positive reason for an ex boyfriend to block you this would be it.

Essentially how this works is that every time your ex talks to you on the phone or through text messaging it hurts him.

Not the kind of hurt where you fall down and skin your knee. No, I am talking about a deep hurt. The type of hurt that stays with you all day long and is impossible to get rid of.

If you are wondering about my particular situation I wasn’t actually officially dating the girl I blocked. In fact, this was years ago and I was starting to develop some feelings for her. Feelings that weren’t reciprocated. As a guy let me tell you it is a very humbling feeling when one moment you are on top of the world because you think a pretty girl is falling for you and then BAM!!

chuck norris punch

Like a Chuck Norris punch you learn the truth that your feelings are one sided.

Now, I am the type of guy that is very calm and classy in situations that don’t go my way (and believe me I have had a lot in my life.) Nevertheless, knowing that someone doesn’t feel “that way” about you can be very upsetting and it takes a toll on your mental health.

I made the decision to block this particular girl not because I was trying to be hurtful or “get back” at her (which I will talk about in a moment) but because it hurt to talk to her when I knew my feelings weren’t reciprocated (kind of held it against her.)

“But Chris, maybe if you waited around she would have woken up and realized that the perfect guy was right there in front of her.”

I am sorry but my time is valuable and I am not one to be strung along. Besides, for me the perfect girl will know right away and won’t need time to “sort out” her feelings.

Here is the main point I am trying to make about your ex boyfriend blocking you in this instance. Maybe he looks back on your time very fondly. Maybe he is obsessed with you for the right reasons but it simply hurts too much to talk to you.

It hurts because every time he does his feelings for you surface and maybe your relationship was very painful to him. So painful that he doesn’t want to remember it right now so he chooses to block you out of his life.

I want you to remember that any time an ex blocks you it is never a good sign. So, while this is probably the best outlook for being blocked it is still never a good thing.

(Don’t worry though I am going to be giving you a game plan for how to approach being blocked a little later.)

He Knows Blocking You Will Hurt You

No matter what there are always going to be those ex boyfriends out there that will hold things against you and look for revenge.

How do I know this?

Well, because I have actually been one these types of ex boyfriends. I know that is an absolutely horrible thing for me to say but I am actually not ashamed about it. Look, the thing you have to understand about men is that it is rare for us to be mature about our first few relationships.

As for me, I was a bit immature about my first relationship.

I look back now and just shake my head at how dumb I was. Nevertheless, being the immature idiot that I once was, was important because it taught me how to evolve into a more mature man. I looked back and was disappointed with how I acted and I actively worked to make sure I didn’t repeat those mistakes ever again in my future relationships. In other words, being immature at first was essential for me to evolve into a more mature and classy human being.

Now, you may be sitting there wondering,

“What if this only applies to you? What if it is different for other men?”

That is actually a really good point.

I would say that there is a 50/50 split on how men use their previous relationships to impact their future relationships (which we are hoping is you again 😉 .) Some men are like me and will learn from their mistakes and vow to never let them happen again. They will remain classy and mature in just about any situation.

However, the other type of men are the reason that this section was written. They won’t learn anything and they will refuse to change. In fact, rather than looking to “repair” your relationship they will look for revenge and they know for a fact that blocking you is the perfect way to do that. Again, this is another concept that I talk about a lot in my coaching sessions with clients.

So, I’ll break it down for you like I break it down for them.

One thing that we already know is that a man who blocks you to get back at you or to hurt you is not being mature about the situation. Like I said above, at one point in my life I went through a phase where I would have had no problem doing this.

Here is the exact thoughts I would have had,

“If I block her I know it will hurt her and maybe teach her a lesson..”

Pretty bad I know but I am telling you that is exactly what would run through my head. So, what factors do you think forced me into this type of thinking?

Why Do Men “Want Revenge,” “To Teach You A Lesson,” “Get Back At You?”

payback time

If an ex boyfriend blocks you to get revenge or to hurt you then one thing you already know right off the bat is that he is being very immature about the breakup. However, what I would like to do is give you some insight into what factors caused him to have these feelings of vengeance.

This first thing I want you to get through your mind is that USUALLY not all of the blame goes on him for wanting revenge. Sure, there are cases where your ex boyfriend is just a psycho and will want revenge because he is crazy. However, most ex boyfriends can point to something that YOU did wrong in the relationship. So, lets not pretend that you are entirely innocent here. We are all human beings after all and the thing about human beings is that none of us are perfect.

So, lets start there, the fact that you aren’t innocent.

It is every mans dream to date a woman that looks like a model. I guarantee you that if you walked up to a random guy on the street and gave him the choice to date an average looking girl versus a girl who looks like a model he will choose the model 100% of the time (even without knowing her personality.)

Of course, most men are dumb and they fail to realize that they aren’t the only ones with eyes. A woman who looks like a model is going to get a lot of attention from other men. That is just the way it is.

Hmm… perhaps I should be role playing here because this may be a little complicated to explain without the proper context.

Ok, you and I are dating.

Since you put professional models to shame you get a lot of attention from other men. While you don’t shout it out to the world you kind of like the attention from the other guys (even though you are dating me.) Realistically, I think if the roles were reversed and I got a lot of attention from women I would like it too so I can’t really blame you. However, I am playing the role of an idiot boyfriend here so I don’t look at it that way.

As you get attention from other men you begin to flirt with them a little. That is just the way you are. You like to flirt. You are a flirty, bubbly and upbeat person. Unfortunately, I am insecure and I get angry about the flirting.

Let’s fast forward to our breakup.

The two of us have broken up and I am angry. I decide that I want to block you to “get back at you” for the breakup. There are two things that will go through my mind when I decide to make the decision to block for this specific reason.

The first “reasoning” that I would have is tied to my understanding of how you are. I know for a fact that you are the type of person that likes to be social. You like creating and maintaining friendships. Even during our breakup you fed me the famous,

let’s still be friends” line.

While most women may not mean it when they say it, I know you well enough to know that you are serious about it.

So, if I block you and take the “friends” option off the table I know that it is going to cause you pain and I kind of like that fact because deep down I am hurt and I want you to feel as bad as I do.

(It’s so messed up, I know..)

The second thought that I will have relates to what I was talking about above (with you being pretty, liking the attention and flirting with other guys.) You see, all throughout our relationship I hated that you flirted with other guys. You know that I hated it too because a lot of fights were caused between us because of it.

Your flirty nature is going to be a prime reason for me wanting revenge.

Every time I think to myself,

“Wait, why did I block her?”

I am probably going to say,

“Oh, she was all over those guys that one time.”

That’s the thing about exes that block for revenge. They will latch on to everything you did wrong in the relationship as a reason for revenge. EVEN IF IT WASN’T THAT BAD AT ALL.

Truthfully though, the overall outlook isn’t as bad as it seems. There are a few silver linings that I think are important to understand if an ex blocks you in this instance.

Two Silver Linings

If your ex boyfriend blocks you and you suspect it’s to “teach you a lesson,” “get back at you,” or “get revenge.” There are a few silver linings that I want you to remember before you go into code RED panic mode.

As I have stated multiple times throughout this section, I have been in a place where I have wanted to “teach an ex a lesson,” “get back at her,” and “get revenge.” While on the outside it may have appeared that I disliked my ex on the inside I can tell you with 100% certainty that I still had feelings for her.

This is one of those very rare occasions where actions don’t match up with the truth of how a man would be feeling about the situation. While blocking an ex girlfriend is a bold action stating (GO AWAY) the ultimate truth could be that the man is just doing it so he can feel wanted by you… WAIT, WHAT?

Think about this for a moment.

If your ex boyfriend were to block your phone number and you went crazy on Facebook trying to contact him the fact that you want to be in touch with him so badly will feel good to him because it means you want him. Never underestimate the fact that all men love to feel wanted by women (even me.)

The second silver lining we have already kind of discussed.

Remember above when I was talking about how I was actually glad that I was immature in my first relationship because it forced me to evolve and become a more mature human being and I could bring more to the table in the future?

Well, it could be entirely possible that your ex boyfriend hasn’t gone through this evolution yet. He may look back and be completely ashamed of how he blocked you and will want to get back in touch down the road (This is covered extensively later in the guide.)

For now, lets get through the rest of the reasons for why he may have blocked you.

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He Blocked You Because He Never Wants To Talk To You Again

are you still here

So far we have talked about two vastly different reasons for an ex boyfriend to block you.

  1. He blocks you because it hurts too much to talk to you.
  2. He blocks you because he knows it will hurt you.

Well, I am about to add another entirely different reason into the mix here,

Him never wanting anything to do with you ever again….

Where him blocking you because it hurts to talk to you has a lot to do with the emotions he has towards you and him blocking you to cause you pain is done from a place of anger, him blocking you because he never wants anything to do with you again is done from a place where you have pushed him to the point of no return.

In other words, him blocking you because he never wants to talk to you again is the worst case scenario for pretty much everyone reading this page.

So, I am going to give this the attention it deserves.

Does He Really Mean It?

didnt mean it

Whats that old phrase?

When emotions run high logic runs low.

Speaking from personal experience there have been times where I have become so angry that I threw logic out of the window completely. Let me give you a real example from one of my previous relationships.

About four years ago I was dating a girl and we got into a fight (like couples tend to do.) It was four years ago so there are a few things that you need to understand. At that time I was still very much in the “maturing” phase of my life. Also, I was a little selfish so I didn’t really treat her as well as I could have.

Well, once the fight had commenced I made the biggest mistake ever. I allowed my emotions to control me. Instead of approaching the fight with this mindset,

“Ok, calm down Chris. Lets communicate with her and become better from this.”

I approached the fight with this mindset,

“I don’t care what she thinks. What are the most hurtful things that I can say to her?”

To my great shame…. I did just that (said the most hurtful things possible.) I thought of every hurtful subject I could to twist the knife a little deeper.

Her parents…

Her insecurities…

Her friends…

Logic was out the window and the lovely emotion of anger was in control. This brings me to the big point I am trying to make here.

Do you think I really meant any of the things I said to her?

Of course not.

Look, while I may have thought those horrible things in my head if you were to go deep inside my mind at the time I really didn’t mean any of them. The only reason I verbalized any of those thoughts was because I got angry and was looking for a way to hurt my girlfriend.

(Again, this is a completely immature way to handle the situation but anger has a way of throwing maturity out of the window.)

Ok, everything I just talked about I want you to remember because the “emotions run high logic runs low” theory is going to apply to my next few comments.

In the example I gave above I was in the middle of a relationship with a girl. What do you think would have happened if I had broken up with this girl?

No matter how you slice it a breakup is a highly emotional situation and it is almost a guarantee that things are going to be said (from both sides) that neither person means. One of those things may be something like,

“I never want to talk to you again.”

So, lets say that your ex boyfriend said this to you after your breakup and a day or two down the road you realized that your number has been blocked on his phone. Your immediate reaction is to panic and run around like a crazy person screaming, “THE APOCALYPSE IS HERE!!!!”

But I want to let you in on a little secret.

You probably won’t be blocked forever.

“Wait… what do you mean?”

You remember that whole “when emotions run high, logic runs low” speech I gave you at the beginning of this section right?

Well, the thing about emotions running high and logic running low is that eventually logic does return to run the show. Emotions reign is only temporary and logic is usually left to clean up the mess that emotion made.

(Yes, I am totally referring to emotion and logic like they are people, DEAL WITH IT!)

I have literally witnessed hundreds of women get blocked by their exes. Want to know something pretty shocking?

About 60% of those women end up back in touch with their exes in some way, shape or form. Here is what the thought process of an ex boyfriend who blocks you will typically look like:

easelly_visual

The infographic above is actually kind of cool because you can see the progression from anger back to logic. Remember, the way this usually works is that your ex boyfriend will start off thinking with logic. However, when something painful happens (like a breakup) the logic switch gets turned off and the emotion/anger switch gets turned on. Of course, the emotion/anger switch doesn’t stay on forever. Slowly but surely logic is going to take the reigns back.

The picture above kind of shows you what will happen in your exes mind if he decides to unblock you (which as I said above is actually pretty likely.)

What I am going to do now is go through the entire progression in the picture so you can understand exactly what is happening in his mind.

“I am angry at her.”

This one is pretty self explanatory. He is angry at you. This anger signifies when the logic switch is turned off and when the emotion switch is turned on. Remember, emotion = anger in this case.

“I think I will block her.”

This is your exes first big action under the guise of emotion. He knows that blocking you will probably cause you pain.

“Blocking her didn’t feel as good as I thought it would.”

The truth of the situation sets in. Emotion steered him wrong as he is beginning to regret his decision. Hurting you doesn’t feel too good to him. This signifies the time where emotion is starting to lose its grasp on him. Logic is starting to set back in.

“God… I kind of miss her.”

This is kind of interesting. So far, the emotion of anger has been running the show. While logic is slowly retaking the battlefield some of the good emotions are starting to kick in. You know, emotions that make a guy go,

“I miss her.”

or

“I still have feelings for her.”

That is what is happening here. His anger is being replaced by the emotions that made him fall for you in the first place.

“I think I am going to unblock her.”

Welcome our good friend logic back to the party. That’s really the best way I can put it.

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He Really Means It And Never Wants To Talk To You Again

never talk again

I said that in about 60% of the cases an ex boyfriend will end up getting back in touch with you after he blocks you. While that percentage number is pretty high the truth is that it isn’t 100%. In fact, it means that 40% of exes could be serious about blocking you and may never want to talk to you again.

For every women reading this page having this happen is the worst possible outcome that they can think of.

Why?

Because it basically means that your chances of getting your ex back are 0%.

It is at this point that I would like to admit that I have actually blocked people from my life that I was serious about never talking to again and to this day I haven’t ever talked to them. Actually, there were only two people that I have ever done this with.

Both of them were women. One of them was an ex girlfriend and another was a friend that had a serious crush on me.

So, what did they do to cause me to “blacklist” them?

Lets start with the ex girlfriend first since I am sure that she is the one that you really want to hear about.

The thing you have to understand about this girl was the fact that the two of us just weren’t a good match for each other. We fought constantly, we didn’t agree on a lot of serious issues and by the end the relationship was so toxic that I literally went to bed at night dreading the next day.

After we broke up I made a decision to block her so I wouldn’t even be tempted to get back into that situation ever again.

Maybe me blocking her was done from a mindset of emotion as opposed to logic but in all honesty I am glad I did it because there was no way that I could have been happy with her.

So, basically I decided to block my ex because I determined that there was no way that she could improve my life. I knew I still had some feelings for her at the time and I knew that if I didn’t block her I would have been sucked back in and I didn’t want that for myself.

My second story of blocking someone was completely different but just as important because it can give you some important insight into how men think.

I had a friend who definitely had feelings for me (she told me she did.) Unfortunately for her, I didn’t like her in that way. Now, prior to this point I had only ever blocked one person in my entire life (that ex girlfriend I talked about above.) So, blocking someone from my life is very rare for me.

However, this friend who had feelings for me pushed me to that point very quickly when she started harassing me.

Every time I wouldn’t text her back immediately I would get harassed.

Every time I would tell her in a very nice way that I think she should move on she would harass me.

The main point is that she would say some really mean things and question my character. Apparently, I was “leading her on” even though I told her to move on. The harassment finally got to the point where it was starting to make me a little angry.

So, I gave her a warning,

“Look, if you keep acting this way we can’t be friends anymore.”

Once I told her this she settled down for a little while until I didn’t text her back immediately and then the harassment resumed. She had pushed me to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore so I blocked her from everything and never talked to her again.

She simply wasn’t adding anything positive into my life, just negative.

The Different Degrees Of Blocking

(If you want to learn more about how you can get your boyfriend back then please check out my E-Book.)

blocked me

Now that you have a better understanding of why an ex boyfriend may block you I would like to turn your attention to HOW an ex can block you.

I entitled this section “The Different Degrees Of Blocking” because some forms of blocking are much worse that others. Don’t worry, I will explain that in a minute. First though, lets take a look at all the ways that an ex boyfriend can block you from his life.

(I know that this is a hard topic to read about but bear with me here.)

I have determined that there are really five ways that an ex boyfriend can block you.

  1. On the phone.
  2. On Facebook.
  3. Through applications
  4. Through email.
  5. The full block out.

As always, I am going to go in great detail into each of these methods so you can fully understand the situation you have found yourself in.

On The Phone

Have you ever noticed how our cell phones or smartphones are sacred to us all?

Personally speaking, the people that matter most to me all have my phone number. To me, my phone is sacred. It is like a little sanctuary where only a select number of important people are invited. I don’t just hand my number out unless I want you in my life. It is as simple as that.

I have found that most people are like that. They are very protective of their phones. Most people don’t just hand out their numbers and they sure as heck put some thought into who they are blocking from their phones.

This brings us to you and your ex.

I would say that an ex blocking you from his phone is the most common thing that I hear about when I talk to women on this site. Fortunately, it is easy to unblock someone from your phone. As I said above, around 60% of exes do end up getting back in touch after they block their significant other.

So, how bad is it if you get blocked from your exes phone?

Well, getting blocked is never a good thing but I will tell you that if you get blocked from his phone don’t think the world is over. It is actually the most common form of blocking.

On Facebook

Next to Google, Facebook is one of the biggest websites in the world.

In fact, I have always found it amusing that in the day and age that we live in a relationship isn’t ever “official” until Facebook says it is. Heck, two people can meet through Facebook and fall in love. Funny anecdote, my best friend actually met his girlfriend of five years through Facebook.

(They are still dating if you are wondering.)

Now, I don’t know your situation specifically but what I do know is that if your ex blocks you through Facebook it is not a good thing.

Why do I say that?

When you block someone from your phone (at least on the iPhone) it isn’t really that hard to unblock them. However, if you block someone on Facebook it is actually quite hard to unblock them. Nevertheless, I have found that most men don’t block their exes on Facebook.

Why?

Well, they want to spy on them to see how bad they are hurting.

Through Applications

Some people don’t really use text messaging on their phones. Instead they opt to go through messaging applications like:

  • WhatsApp
  • Kik Messanger
  • Snapchat

In my view these are all the same as text messaging (with the exception of Snapchat.) What you need to keep an eye out for is if you are being blocked from his regular phone and from these little applications. If he does block you through both the applications and the big phone it is not a good sign. While there is still a 60% chance that he will unblock you down the road he may be more serious about the blocking if he takes the time to block you on all these little applications as well.

Still though, an ex boyfriend who blocks a girl is usually doing so through a highly emotional state. Give it some time and you will be surprised at what happens.

Through Emails

Did you know that it is possible to block someone on email?

Well, it is.

I want to make this as simple as possible. If he is blocking you on email it is a very bad sign. It means he is probably much more serious about not talking to you. Of course, I am all about turning negatives into positives so the thing that you have to understand is that very rarely do men communicate with their girlfriends through email.

Usually they communicate through talking on the phone, through Facebook or other social media outlets.

So, keep those spirits high because it isn’t the end of the world yet.

A Full Block Out

Lets talk about a nightmare scenario.

Lets say that your ex boyfriend is extremely angry with you after the breakup. So, he decides to institute a full block out.

What is a full block out?

Full Block Out– When an ex boyfriend blocks you in every way imaginable. Where there is no possible way you can get in touch with him.

Essentially, this is where your ex boyfriend blocks you from his phone, through Facebook, through applications and through his email. I have even heard some cases where he can block your mutual friends for a while so he doesn’t have to see you in person.

What type of women are at risk for a full block out?

Generally what I have seen is the women who have cheated on their ex boyfriends. Cheating has a way of making people angry, who knew?

(That was sarcasm by the way.)

Look, I am not saying that only cheaters get the full block out treatment as there have been cases where an ex does a full block out “just because.” What I am saying is that cheaters have a higher risk of it happening to them. So, keep that in mind.

What You Need To Do If An Ex Boyfriend Blocks You

(Learn more about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO by clicking here.)

Now we are really getting to the good stuff.

So far all I have talked about is the psychology that goes behind someone blocking an ex. I haven’t really talked about what to do if it happens to you (which is what a lot of you are probably wondering.) Well, now that I feel I have properly explained everything that needs to be explained when someone blocks you we can move on and focus on exactly what steps you need to take if you do get blocked.

For this section I have outlined the steps that I want you to take if you do get blocked in the graphic below,

easelly_visual(1)

Lets start at the very beginning with determining the extent of the block.

Determine The Extent of The Block

superman

(I couldn’t resist… I had to put a superman meme up.)

If you skipped over the “different degrees of blocking” section above it might be a good idea to go back and read it because what is talked about there is essential for what is going to be talked about here.

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that some forms of blocking are worse than others.

Once you learn that you have been blocked by your ex boyfriend it is your job to figure out in how many ways you have been blocked. Why is this important?

Well, look at it this way. If your ex boyfriend blocks you from his smartphone but he doesn’t block you from Facebook then technically you can still get back in touch with him through Facebook when you want. Knowing what options you have is important because those options are going to determine how you play the game.

Of course, I still haven’t told you what to do if you are faced with the worse case scenario of a full out blockage. In other words, what do you do if your ex boyfriend blocks you in every form imaginable?

I am going to say something that I have been putting off for a while now because it is going to be very hard for you to hear and you will probably hate me for it but it needs to be said. If you are faced with a situation where you are blocked by your ex in every way then your options are very limited.

The truth is that in that situation there is only one person who can help you and he isn’t too fond of you right now (remember, he blocked you.)

In other words, you are in the worst possible position because you are at his mercy completely. While there are a few things you can do to influence his decision there isn’t really anything you can say to change his mind. Why? Well, because you are blocked, remember?

“But what if I confront him in person?”

So, let me get this straight. Your ex blocks you (a strong statement from him saying that he doesn’t want to talk to you) and you decide that, that means you should try harder and confront him in person?

Look, I am going to tell you exactly what he will think if you do this.

“Wow, she really is psycho.”

Don’t be the psycho ex girlfriend. Be the confident ungettable one.

Patience = No Contact

patient bear

So, what is the genius plan to deal with being blocked by an ex?

Well, your first instincts when you find out that you are blocked are going to scream,

“TRY HARDER!!”

You are going to want to get in touch with him as soon as possible in any way you can possibly think of. I have even seen some women compose long letters and mail them to their exes. Look, I am a fan of letters but the only time that they ever mean something to me is when I am dating someone. If I were to get one from an ex I would be a little creeped out.

Right now, your best bet when you find out that you are blocked is to exercise patience. I am sure you have heard that phrase,

Patience is a virtue

Well, in this case it really is. This brings me to my next point. How are you supposed to exercise patience?

Through the no contact rule of course.

I am not going to take the time explain what the no contact rule is since I talk about it so much on this site. However, what I can do for you is give you a link to a new guide I wrote that really goes in-depth on my new view of the no contact rule. I highly recommend that you read that page.

Why do you think the no contact rule is a good idea in this case?

Throughout this entire page I have thrown around a pretty interesting statistic relating to women who have been blocked. Do you remember what that statistic was?

I have found, when talking to the women who have been blocked, that in 60% of cases their exes end up getting back in touch with them. These women didn’t have to do anything for their ex to get in touch it just happened all on its own.

The no contact rule will force you to be patient and it will also prevent you from being tagged as that psycho ex girlfriend I talked about above.

Facebook/Other Social Media

facebook

The beautiful thing about the no contact rule is that on top of making an ex boyfriend think about you more,

“Why hasn’t she tried to contact me?”

It also forces you to put a lot of focus on yourself. I am going to be honest with all of the women reading this. Most of you won’t get your ex boyfriend back because you can’t get out of your own way.

What do I mean by that?

Right now you are conditioned to think about your ex boyfriend as opposed to thinking of yourself. Many of you probably think that you can’t live without him. I have heard just about every sob story in the book. Nothing really shocks me anymore. You know what I would like? For once I would like to open up the comments on this site and read something like,

“I don’t care if I get him back or not but I am going to become so incredible that when he is on his deathbed and looking back at his life he will say to himself, I made a mistake letting her go.”

You see, that is interesting to me. That tells me that your world doesn’t revolve around a guy and it also says that you have a lot of self confidence. I want you to remember this attitude because it is going to be extremely important for you to have for what I say next.

Your ex has blocked you but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t checking up on you on Facebook or other social media outlets. So, rather than sit in your room and cry about your situation I say you be proactive with the knowledge that he will be keeping an eye on you through Facebook.

Lets go back to that attitude that I wanted you to have. You know, the “I will become so incredible he will regret his decision” attitude.

Make the necessary changes in your life to become incredible and make sure you let the world know about it on social media. Update your Facebook profile with things like,

  • Incredible pictures of your life.
  • Incredible things that happen to you.
  • Fun pictures of you and your friends having a good time.
  • Pictures of you and some guy friends (spark some jealousy.)
  • Anything that can be viewed as a positive thing.

This may be an embarrassing thing for me to admit but for years after I broke up with my ex girlfriend I would check up on her Facebook profile. The two of us weren’t Facebook friends but her wall was semi public to where I could see the major events of her life.

Here is the interesting thing though, two years after the breakup occurred between us I didn’t have any feelings for her at all. However, I would still check up on her because I was curious.

Your in a better position than I was because the breakup between you and your ex boyfriend is probably still fresh which means both of you probably still have feelings for each other. Curiosity is a powerful motivator and he will probably come snooping around in the near future to see how you are.

So, do you want him to see a depressed version of you or a happy version?

I don’t have to answer that do I?

Do you have a chance of getting him back?
Take Our Quiz

Mutual Friends

friends

An avid reader of Ex Boyfriend Recovery had an interesting idea.

Her ex boyfriend had blocked her (a full block out) and she didn’t know what to do. So, what she decided to do was use her ex boyfriend and her’s mutual friends to pass a long letter to him. Of course, the letter idea didn’t work out for her as he didn’t unblock her but I think she may have been on to something with those mutual friends.

You see, her mind was in the right place with the mutual friends but she didn’t really use the mutual friends in the right way. Using them to pass letters or messages back and forth usually never works.

What she should have done was used the mutual friends as a way to get her exes attention. Allow me to explain.

Have you ever noticed how humans have this tendency to spread information like wildfire. Well, this is especially true when it comes to relationships. Perhaps it is best if I give a fake example to illustrate my point.

Your ex boyfriend has blocked you from his phone and has unfriended you on Facebook. Right now you are pretty much down in the dumps. Of course, the world isn’t over so you decide to hang out with a few mutual friends that you and your ex boyfriend have. These mutual friends aren’t bad people but how much do you want to bet that the second your little play date with them is over they won’t send something like this to your ex,

wildfire message

If you are betting against a message being sent like this then I think you owe me some money 😉 .

I would actually say that you want this message to be sent because it is going to force your ex to think about you. Once you are in his head curiosity will take hold and he may start spying on your Facebook profile or grilling your mutual friends on how you are doing.

This brings me to my next point.

Should you talk to your mutual friends about your ex?

Well, at some point of your hangout with them I am betting you will get a question like,

“So, how are you after the breakup?”

If you are faced with a situation like this here is how you should play it.

Things not to say:

  • DON’T say that the breakup was the greatest thing that ever happened to you. (we don’t want that getting around to your ex)
  • DON’T say that you are devastated by the breakup.

Things to say:

  • DO say your life is going great.
  • DO smile a lot.
  • DO talk about anything great that has recently happened to you.
  • DO ask about your ex.

I want to talk about that last “DO.”

Why do you think I want you to ask about your ex boyfriend?

Well, I want you to seem interested but not too interested. It’s ok if you are asking about your ex boyfriend. We are trying to get his attention so he could potentially unblock you. What you do want to avoid is asking about him too much.

In fact, I would say only ask about him once and then move on to talking about something else.

Here is how the conversation should go:

Mutual Friend: So, how are you holding up after the breakup?

You: I am doing fine! I have been focusing a lot on me and it has been great.

Mutual Friend: Do you still think about him?

You: From time to time. Why? Did he ask about me or something?

Mutual Friend: He may have been asking 😉 .

You: Well, tell him I say hi.

(End conversation there.)

Contact Your Ex After NC (If Possible)

Lets say your no contact period is completed and your ex still hasn’t unblocked you. However, you are still able to contact him via Facebook.

Well, after the no contact rule is complete would be a great time to initiate a conversation. Enough time should have passed for him to calm down a little bit so if you play your cards right you could get a response.

Ah, but what do you say?

Well, I have created multiple guides that cover that:

Well, it was fun writing this guide. I hope you got a lot out of it. As always I will be happy to answer any questions. Feel free to ask me anything in the comments.

2,147 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You”

  1. kenna

    November 16, 2018 at 8:34 pm

    hi, me and my ex bf was on a long distance relationship and dated for 5 months he was my first love…i dont know for him but he told me he never felt this way before and he love me alot and i was the greatest thing that ever happened to his life…he is a very jealous type of a person..he would constantly break up with me but we still get back togther after a couple of hours and i let him promised to never brought up breakups when we are fighting…well he was doing great and really held on with the promise until one night he broke up with me and i got infuriated for breaking his promise again and so i fought with him and blocked him but realizes i love him so i went to talk with him after a day and he doesnt wanna get back anymore and then he blocks me…after a couple of days he unblocks me and we decided to stay friends..and i ruined it cox i was begging him to come back and he was ignoring my msges so i got angry with him and blocked him and he blocked me as well and its now almost 2months sinz we broke up and its almost 3 weeks sinz he blocked me….does that mean he finally moved on? and doesnt want me to be in his life anymore?

  2. Linda

    November 12, 2018 at 3:41 am

    My boyfriend and I dated for 10 months and recently broke up because he is going through a lot in life and stated that I was adding to it with pointless arguments and being crazy. We broke up one month ago yet he continued to go back and forth for the whole month with “I miss you and talking to you is hard” and “I want to just let you go and move on”. He went on vacation this week and I saw he hungout with friends and girls. I flipped out on him and talked to another guy out of anger. He then blocked me on absolutely EVERYTHING and I have no way of contacting him at all whatsoever. Before he blocked me, he told me that he wants to disappear from my life and his decision is made up. I obviously have to not contact him because I have no way of contacting him anyways… but what do you think? Do you think he really is going to disappear on me forever? (He is extremely stubborn).

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 12, 2018 at 4:59 am

      Hi Linda!

      He probably won’t disspaear. Just pull back and consider the benefits of implementing No Contact and turn the focus on your own healing and being the best “you”. Guys will sometimes act vindictive and immaturely. You find your on happy space and don’t worry so much about everything negative he is doing.

  3. XOXOGOSSIPGIRL

    November 11, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    Hi Chris,
    Me and my long distance boyfriend of 1 year recently broke up and I’m having a really difficult time dealing with this. We both go to different colleges but as thanksgiving break is approaching, I know he is going to be right down the block (we are neighbors). We got into a similar break up senario right before our 1 year anniversary back in October and tried to fix things. But after things exploded again, he told me he was done with me. He blocked me immediately on everything and then decided to unblock me only on the phone. I then deactivated all social media. However, we contacted each other throughout the week via texting and calling (which I now know was stupid). I called him one night when he was drunk (which I didn’t know he was) and the conversation got nowhere. The very next night he blew up my phone while he was at the bar, started off nice like “they’re playing our favorite song remixed” to “you were the worst girlfriend ever go torture some other guy” (I believe he was getting so angry because I wasn’t answering since it was midnight!) The next day I told him it was too hard for me to talk to him on the phone and that I would rather talk in person during thanksgiving break. He apologized for saying those things and then I told him I was driving and I couldn’t get upset so I had to go. We said goodbye and I just realized he blocked my phone number again. I know I have to focus on myself right now, I haven’t been eating or sleeping well but I’m afraid for the future. We had so many things planned and now I’m afraid he’s really done. I mean after all he did block me. I guess I’m just wondering what’s going on, I feel as if this is a mind game to him and guess what… he’s winning right now because I’m reading into his every move and I’m just standing still. Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 11, 2018 at 7:19 pm

      Hi there!

      You are right. The focus should be on your healing and recovery. You must get your sleep and eat normally!! Also, best to have a sensible ex recovery plan. I have lots of books, videos, and resources of all kinds that can help you with that!

  4. Crystal

    November 8, 2018 at 2:43 am

    My ex bf broke up with me almost 6 weeks ago. We have a lot of problems. I started to beg n he blocked me on phone, but not Facebook. I can still message him on fb but it went to ignore list (where u can read it but u have to actually go to that “filter message” folder, n fb will never show that he read my msg). 2 weeks after the break up I tested by calling him n he unblocked me. But he never called back. Another 2 weeks passed by, I texted him, no reply. I then told him I’ll fly up to see him (we r long distant) and he said “we’re over” then blocked me again on phone. Then a few hrs later unblocked me. Another week passed by (which was 5 weeks of break up) n that was last week, I flew to his house n met him n found out he blocked me again. He told me we r over, there’s too many problems n I’ll never change. I hugged him but he didn’t hug back. He kept telling me to leave n he will call me. But he never did. He seemed cold n quiet n kinda angry cuz I came.
    Now it’s been 3 days after the time I met him. He still blocked me on phone but not fb. Does this sound like he really determined to break up? He broke up with me 5 times befure, I didn’t contact him at all n after 1-3 weeks he would call back n we got back. But this time is the longest m seems like there’s no hope.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 8, 2018 at 2:56 am

      Hi Crystal….best to have an ex recovery plan. Take a look at my home page where I talk about tools and resources!

  5. Maria

    November 7, 2018 at 8:11 am

    Hello Chris!

    I have LDR boyfriend weve been talking a lot before. This September we even talk but only once after that he told me to talk to him october 28 but he never talk to me but he reads my text.
    After he reads my text i tried texting him again if what was wrong whAt happened why he did not respond but he block me and i tried contacting him using my friends number same he block me. I will try my best for the NC i hope this will work out.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 8, 2018 at 3:12 am

      Hi Maria!

      Best of luck to you with your NC. If you need special help, pick up one of my eBooks!

  6. Samantha

    November 6, 2018 at 7:07 pm

    Hi Chris!

    What happens if NC Did not work (it’s been almost three months), and the new girl he’s seeing looks a lot like me? Everyone has been telling me that. Same hair, same eyes and general appearance.

    Do guys date girls similar to what their ex looks like if they aren’t fully over it , and are maybe not even aware that that’s why they’re dating the new girl?

    Thank you!
    Samantha

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 6, 2018 at 10:30 pm

      Hi Samantha!

      Well, the truth is there is only 1 you. No other girl can replace your unique and special qualities. And if he gets blinded, for however long, well its his loss for allowing that to happen. Yeah…there is probably a psychological thing going on with that.

  7. Lisa

    October 25, 2018 at 4:03 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I know you’ve covered that usually the ex will unblock you after a certain amount of time into NC..but what if he doesn’t reach out after unblocking you? (it was a full block out). I’m not sure if my number or Snapchat is unblocked but my other social media is. What would be the reason for that?

    If an ex really didn’t want to speak to you again or doesn’t want you messaging them (what some individuals say during an angry breakup), why on earth would they unblock you a couple weeks later? A lot of people say it means “nothing” but I believe there’s always a reason behind what a person does, especially when it has to do with getting back at an ex or trying to punish them.

    Thank you for the advice!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 25, 2018 at 8:12 pm

      Hi Lisa!

      That’s right, guys will often unblock as they can’t help themselves to track you. Yes, there is usually a reason for why people do this sort of thing, but it is not always rationale. OFten emotions push people to do this sort of thing. The bigger question is do you have an ex recovery plan, such that you know how to best optimize your chances to get him back.

  8. Avril

    October 23, 2018 at 8:48 pm

    Hi Chris,

    Me and a close friend of two years became friends with benefits and since the first time we had sexual intercourse a year ago, our friendship had gotten so confusing. I admit I would get a little sensitive over things that didn’t really matter because I was developing feelings for him. We talked almost everyday, he was there for me when I needed it, and we didn’t have sex every time we saw eachother either.

    We ended up getting into a huge argument where he blocked me off of everything in May and didn’t contact me until the end of June. I did deserve it. He was going through something and at that point our friendship was weakening and he told me he is sick of being loyal to someone who keeps second guessing everything he does.

    So he apologized and the first thing he did when he saw me was kiss me and he explained what was going on with him and seemed really upset that I was acting uncomfortable with him.

    Fast forward to August. He found out I was seeing another guy. When we hung out, I told him that during those two months he blocked me for, I moved on. I had asked him out plenty of times and he always rejected me because he didn’t want a relationship with anybody (a lot of personal reasons I don’t want to write). And I think he was also seeing someone too but he wasn’t intimate with her and didn’t seem interested. He told me that hanging out with her wasn’t the same as seeing me. He said although she is attractive, he didnt feel the same as he did with me. He said although we have our fights, I’m a great person and he loves spending time with me. But the more he was finding about this guy, the more angry he got even tho he was asking me the questions. He said that he’s a very possessive kind of person and he apologized but he can’t help being extremely jealous. He then told me that he obviously can’t trust me and he thought we were suppose to be good friends. (I guess his ego was just bruised that I wasn’t his property anymore)

    At the end of August he texted me and everything was fine. We talked like we usually did. But a couple days later I had truly enough of him and everything that was going on. I told him how I felt. Maybe not in the best way but I told him I didn’t like how angry he got with me when he found out I was sleeping with someone else. He sent me a huge paragraph about how he does not care about me anymore because apparently I don’t care about him, to please not message him again, that he never said he liked me that night and he doesn’t care at all that I’m seeing another guy (although his actions the day we hung out proved the complete opposite). He then blocked me off everything again.

    A month ago he had unblocked me, looked at my story highlights on Instagram but never said a word or added me quickly like he did the previous time.

    A couple of days ago he had a huge event in his life happen that I remember him telling me about in August. So I thought maybe I should be the mature and respectful one and at least acknowledge it. So today I decided to tell him congratulations for winning in his fight. He said “thank you :)” and I told him to have a good day and he said the same to me.

    Then I decided to tell him that although we may not have the same relationship ever again, that I hope there is no tension or anger between us and I wish him nothing but the best.

    He saw the message and never answered me. I am heartbroken. I just wanted to reconcile but it looks like he wants nothing to do with me even though he unblocked me a month ago? What could be the reasons why he replied to everything but that? I miss him so much and still care about him. Has he completely forgotten about me along with not caring? Maybe he’s still mad at me?

    I really need your advice..thank you
    Avril

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 24, 2018 at 3:25 am

      Hi Arvil!

      So there is a lot going on here and I see that you have been thru a lot. Have you considered any of my ex recovery materials as they can do much more justice in responding to you situation than I can here in my limited time. Its important though to first focus on “you” and your healing. If you are not right in the mind, you are going to get in your own way and not make good decisions.

  9. broken

    October 18, 2018 at 12:00 am

    we had been in a very happy ldr for 2 1/2 years, altho friends for the first yr. we both fell in love the sec we met, but didnt admit it. he has a history of depressive episodes, but is in denial about them. id not been ok since xmas, turns out i was messed up cos of my thyroid. he started going low around april. i didnt really see how bad, cos of my issues. he was under a ton of pressue. we never saw eachother at night anymore as a “friend” had taken to being there everynight when he came home from work. i felt needy, and not wanted. we never had fun anymore. he said he loved me with all his heart, but wasnt ok and was changing. then later he snapped and said theres no love for nothing or no one. end of june. i realised it was all his depression, destroyed myself trying to help him for 6 1/2 wks, 10 wks ago he left. just hung up. i didnt contact him for 7 wks, as i was scared to hurt him, but ive been so so low, i had to try and get a voice. i have a counsellor. he replied hes sorry he hurt me, what he did wasnt right, he never deserved me, it hurts him everyday etc. 2 days before he left id seen him in game all over another girl. i asked him if there was anyone before he left, he said no. hes with the girl now, another ldr. shes posted their relationship everywhere. last wk i msgd asking for the truth. anyway, he wouldnt answer about the pics. i kept asking, so he blocked me on phone and whats app. i still havent had a voice. sun he blocked me on xbox, even tho i wasnt gonna msg him there. its where we met. it really really hurts. i wrote a long letter thats my voice. i wanna send it, but dont wanna be crazy ex. im not asking for him back in it, just saying what happened. him and the girl are deeply in love, altho he wanted to marry me. i dont wanna hurt either of them, hes the one, but idk what to do anymore. im just broken. ty for any advice.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 18, 2018 at 11:25 pm

      Hi there Fixed!

      Notice now you are no longer “Broken”. You see, that is the key. Healing and becoming the best “you” is the most important thing in all of this. The pragmatic thing to do is to focus on “you”, not them. If you comes back into your life in the future, fine, you can deal with that then. But its your present and future that matters most and you can choose among many paths that lead to a better place.

  10. Kelsey

    October 16, 2018 at 2:26 pm

    Hi. So my ex had reached out to me a month ago. We’ve been speaking for a month until a few nights ago he phones me and tells me he has feelings for me and he loves me. He said he made a big mistake in leaving me and he knows I’m the one for him and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. However, he also told me that its just wrong timing because he doesn’t want a committed relationship right now. I ended up telling him that i have feelings for him too. However, yesterday we met up and we were cuddling and kissing and it felt normal and we both enjoyed each others company. But after that speaking to him a few hour later he is acting different and says like he currently prefer to have me as a friend and we are made to be good friends. He also says like its either we end up together or remain goods friends, noting is certain. And he says like i mustn’t try to be close to him and its just friends. Im so confused with what he is saying and he is contradicting everything he said a few nights before. I don’t want to be left hurt again and he is just confusing me now because we both had agreed we had feelings for each other even though we not that ready for a relationship. Even cuddling with him and everything and the way he was speaking afterwards i feel used even though it was mutual consent. What must i do because i want us to work out. I don’t have money to buy any products as I’m still a student. What should i do.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 17, 2018 at 1:05 am

      Hi Kelsey!

      Sometimes guys learn the hard way. That leave, then realize just how great you really are. I would encourage you to tap into all my articles, podcasts, and videos as I talk a lot about how to deal with various breakup situations.

  11. Boo

    October 15, 2018 at 3:40 pm

    Thought the name would be festive for the month lol. But I agree. We’ve broken up three times now and this time he’s texted me every 2 weeks to wish me well or to accuse me of “hooking up” with guys I’ve never even met lol and now he’s blocked me even though we weren’t even friends on any social media site. I haven’t tried texting him to see if he blocked my number because I don’t care. And this third breakup I haven’t given in to him. He’s definitely blocked me before the last times we’ve broken up and I was wondering what that meant from a guys perspective? Is it a way to get attention as some sort of game??

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 16, 2018 at 3:04 am

      It is a seasonal name for sure! Some guys get a bit paranoid. His brain is rattling around with all kinds of thoughts and so his behavior will be kind of all over the place.

  12. Boo

    October 13, 2018 at 3:31 am

    So I’ve done no contact. My ex texted me 3 weeks ago and I only replied “thanks” then redid no contact and haven’t spoken to him since. He randomly blocked me on Facebook and Instagram even though I’ve done nothing…. I don’t get it?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 14, 2018 at 9:56 pm

      Hi Boo!

      Love your name. Some guys can be immature and vindictive. I guess he thinks you should be at his beckon call. But if you follow my program, you will learn why you want to be is the Ungettable Girl which is the kind of woman every guy dreams of.

  13. alex

    October 6, 2018 at 12:56 am

    Hi Chris,
    Can you please help me with an advice? I can’t seem to understand why my ex blocked me after 3 months of break-up. I told him in the first week after the break-up that we can both make it work, he told me that he doesn’t feel like we’re on the same page and we didn’t talk after that, with few exceptions – my therapist advised me that it is ok to let him know that I forgive him and seek forgiveness as well (to which he replied kindly), and I got a job in the city where he lives now, and I considered it mature to make him aware of that. He offered to help me move, without me asking him, and also sent me hints about rent prices/best areas etc (all on messenger). I will be moving there next weekend. Meanwhile, I did my best to focus on myself and on my well-being (i also deleted the photos with us from Fb, and lately started chatting with other men). And now, while I was scrolling through my profile, I’ve noticed that all his ‘likes’ dissappeared, this being the way I found out that he blocked me. And I don’t understand why. I feel sad a bit, because deep down there was some hope that, maybe, one day we can make things work again. If it helps, we’re both 30.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 7, 2018 at 3:42 am

      Hi Alex!

      So it does not seem you guys are too far apart. Who knows whats in his head. Maybe he was expecting something different from you. Maybe he doesn’t trust himself and so is trying to avoid social media. Have you tried No Contact in the way I teach it? It allows you to continue to focus on your own personal recovery, but also build some attraction along the way.

  14. Rachel Hawkins

    October 5, 2018 at 12:15 am

    Hi Chris,
    Great article! Would appreciate your advice.
    Had a nearly 8yr relationship, we watched each others kids grow up and very much a step relationship to which degree I hope now his kids are more independent to remain in contact if they wish (as still want to be there for them) purely to hear how their lives are progressing.
    More complicated with my daughter. A few years ago I moved to be nearer to him, with hopes of having a closer future but didn’t pan out. My daughter has special needs, difficulties got so bad we lost quality time together, which although I didn’t realise over times led to me becoming very depressed, in trying to protect and ease things for my daughter, I isolated myself from not only him but everyone close to me.
    Since break up, I have started to address difficulties as if sadly break up was needed to lift the fog and making good changes, reaching out to friends again and now can see ways of involvement with him and having a future. Feeling positive and finding myself, the person he met, finding myself again! He felt he’d lost himself too near the end of the relationship.
    But there is another woman. They started dating straight away and seems very rushed, already huge plans for the future.
    We have bumped into each other a few times, I was so positive about life as I genuinely feel more positive, he all initiated physical contact. And before he was honest about other woman, we had sex (straight after he told me and how serious their plans were) but he also told me staying in touch hard as he knew he couldn’t trust himself around me. Surely given excitement and it’s meant to be the honeymoon period of a new relationship this is odd? Certainly wasn’t like that when we met and he believed i was the love of his life, the one which now he doesn’t believe in. He adores my daughter, still has photos up of her yet now no interest in her progress. I know he would have been so proud of her.
    He did say he is angry at me for not progressing our relationship and implied I’ve wasted a large period of his life 🙁 and a couple of times when bumped into him he has been so angry, wouldn’t even look at me.
    I am so confused. But genuinely whatever happens would like to stay in touch with him as I want him to be happy with or without me.. as equally i want to find happiness too in my own life. But as I said sadly now I can see so many ways I could have made changes so he would have been a major part of life and would have liked the opportunity to build a new and positive relationship.
    Apologies for essay but advice would be great.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 5, 2018 at 2:12 am

      8 years bodes well for couples trying to get it back together. He is wrong to blame you for everything…not progressing the relationship. It take two to do that.

  15. Sammi

    September 27, 2018 at 4:34 pm

    Hi, I was recently broken up with about a month ago and I’ve been doing NC ever since. We were in a happy, healthy relationship for about 5 months and the breakup came out of no where. We had recently had a fight (a week before the breakup) and he claimed that “things felt different after”, but literally the day before the breakup he was telling me how in love with me he was and how excited he was to see me (I’d recently gone to college and live 2 hours away). He claimed that he talked to his friend and his friend told him he needs to focus on work and school. I was really hurt and upset with what he said, he was crying harder than ever as he was breaking up with me and after he broke up with me (over the phone) I blocked him on Snapchat and he blocked me on Facebook and Instagram. I don’t know if my number is blocked on his phone and I’m too scared to try. Does he want nothing to do with me? Is he just hurt? Should I give it time or just give up? Should I unblock him? Thank you for all of your help!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 28, 2018 at 2:57 am

      Hi Sammi!

      Better to keep the social media lines of communication open as you will see with my Program, creating attraction is partly about indirect communications. You should take a look at picking up one of my books so you have a better sense how all this comes together!

  16. Coraline

    September 24, 2018 at 3:03 am

    Hi Chris!
    So my ex broke up with me after 6 years of relationship about almost 2 months ago, cause he didnt feel the same for me (he left me for a another girl), I start NC 10 days after the break up, he never contact me in that period, so I text him a week ago he did replied to me nicely and after that I start to use social media again, change my profile picture, so that he’d be able to Watch Im good and Im not a needy girl.
    And I just figure out he block me on Facebook but not entirely, im just not able to Watch his status or the old pictures of both, he stop following me on instagram…
    So I wonder if the post applies to me too?
    I believe he block me cause this new girl, what can i do to get him back?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 25, 2018 at 3:11 am

      Hi Caroline!

      So first, you already have an edge because 6 years is not easily swept away. So you got a nice reply and that is good, but be sure to follow my suggestions for how to get the most out of NC. Have you picked up my eBook? Its probably the best advice I can point you too as an ex recovery plan is very involved and near impossible to cover it all here!

  17. Fatima

    September 22, 2018 at 1:36 pm

    Hey,basically i had a fight with my bf because of jealousy and is said things that he feels i don’t appreciate what he is doing,he literally blocked me everywhere after 3 days he texted me to move on on my life and that he gave me many chances and i blow up everything, I tried to call him , send flowers but he keeps ignoring me! His friend told me not to waste my time waiting for him his not coming back! What should i do!?help please i am 1 week break up we supposed to get married by next month

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 23, 2018 at 4:43 pm

      Hi Fatima!

      Yes…jealousy can cause all kinds of strife. He is being a bit immature right now. I think a brief NC period would be good. I have a lot of info about it here on the site. You can start on my home page to find all kinds of resources.

  18. Amy

    September 22, 2018 at 10:04 am

    Hi Chris,
    Me and my fwb/ good friend got into an argument almost a month ago. He has done this before where he resorts to blocking as his solution because he’s a very sensitive person but also somewhat toxic. But last time he did not contact me for a couple of months as he was going through something that I had already known about and our fight made him even more stressed out.

    This time before he blocked me, he sent me a huge novel reply saying that he doesn’t care about me anymore because I don’t care about him (yeah alright ) and to not message him, and then blocked me off everything.

    On Monday (exactly 3 weeks after our argument) I was on Instagram looking through my archived stories to find something and obviously because he blocked me his name wasn’t in my story views anymore. Then hours later I went back on to save a story, his name reappeared everywhere. He had unblocked me that night. Would that mean I was on his mind? Could he be missing me? What makes me nervous is that people usually say when they unblock you that’s when they DONT care anymore..but it’s only been a little more than 3 weeks since we’ve talked? Could he really have stopped caring that fast?

    Unlike the last time, he has not refollowed me or contacted me..which worries me because I feel like maybe he really did unblock me because he doesn’t care about me anymore…he did look through all my new story highlights because his name popped up as a view but I don’t think that means anything.

    I still care about him a lot and I am scared that he won’t contact me ever again. What would be some possible reasons why he’d unblock me so soon after a fight if he told me he didn’t want me to message him? Wouldn’t he be sure to keep me blocked if he really didn’t want any future contact with me? (I will obviously not contact him though. He blocked me so I know My boundaries.)

    Thank you for your help

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 23, 2018 at 4:49 pm

      Hi Amy!

      Blocking often leads to unblocking. He was previously blowing off steam and holding some resentments. Take some space for yourself and reflect on whether him being “toxic” at times is really something you should tolerate. No contact could be a solution.

  19. Vanessa

    September 17, 2018 at 4:07 am

    hi chris,

    i broke up with my ex bf, i initiated it and regretted it after, tried to take it back afterwards but he said he can’t forgive me right away, i’ve been in no contact for a month already and was about to chat him when i found out that he blocked me on facebook and unfriended my brother, what does it mean ? he didn’t block me on whatsApp though

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 9:26 pm

      Hi Vanessa!

      Usually, the one who initiates the breakup is in the seat of power. Though sometimes an ex can have a lot of resentment. Be sure you are deploying NC correctly. I have a lot of resources on this site that can show you the way.

  20. B Gohil

    September 14, 2018 at 6:52 pm

    Hi, so basically I’ve been talking to this guy and he was saying things to make me believe he wanted us to become serious. We met at work and I had to leave because I’m moving but he is staying there. On my last day, he wasn’t there but he messaged me to tell me he think we should stop, saying things like he is not a good person and it’s too difficult. He said that he hopes we could have something in the future. Right after that conversation he blocked me. I didn’t want to stop talking to him even though I’m moving away and was will to make a go of it. I’m trying really hard to get over him but I don’t want to and I think that’s what’s making it more difficult. Any advice would be appreciated. 🙂

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