This is the ultimate guide on what to do if your ex boyfriend blocks you.

And I want to be crystal clear about one thing. This is NOT one of those lame guides that is going to be 100 words of fluff.

Instead you can expect this guide to take an in-depth look on exactly how to handle a situation where you’ve been blocked in all forms of communication including (but not limited to,)

  • Texting
  • Calling
  • Facebook
  • WhatsApp
  • SnapChat
  • Skype
  • Email
  • Etc.

Let’s dive right in!

(Side Note: If you get through this guide and find yourself thinking, “I need more information about this,” then I highly recommend you check out my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

Understanding Why You Were Blocked

Ziad K. Abdelnour (author of Economic Welfare) once said,

“If someone is going out of his way to ignore you, he is not ignoring you, he is obsessed by you.”

I love that quote because everything about it is true. Think about it for a moment. Every time a woman comes to this site and decides to implement the no contact rule she is technically obsessed with her ex boyfriend. He is on her mind the second she wakes up for the day, the second she gets in her car to go to work and the second she closes her eyes to go to sleep.

So, when an ex boyfriend blocks you does it mean that he is obsessed with you?

I would say that he is.

However, the issue that you are running into is that he is obsessed with you for the wrong reasons.

Obsessed For The Wrong Reasons?

Ahh… here is where things begin to get a little tricky. Lets take the examples I gave above :

(A woman going into no contact VS. An ex boyfriend blocking that woman)

Ok, a woman who visits this site and reads about the no contact rule will probably want her ex boyfriend back. That means when she thinks about him she is probably filled with good feelings. Sure, maybe there were some really bad fights and the relationship wasn’t as strong as she thought but if she is willing to try the no contact rule then deep down she really wants things to work and probably still loves her boyfriend.

I would consider this to be “obsessed” but for the right reasons (being obsessed usually isn’t a good thing though as I will point out shortly but bear with me here.)

Lets turn our attention to an ex boyfriend who has decided to block his ex girlfriend. First off, being blocked by an ex is never a good thing. Lets not beat around the bush here. If you have been blocked this is really bad.

However, I did mention above that if an ex blocks you it probably means that a part of him is obsessed with you.

Unfortunately, he is obsessed with you for the wrong reasons. There is only one way I can think of to describe this phenomenon. You are annoying to your ex boyfriend. Every time he thinks about you he is not filled with good feelings he is filled with annoyance. While he thinks about you often the feelings he gets aren’t good.

The challenge that you are going to faced with is to determine if he is worth the effort required to turn his bad feelings into good feelings but more on that later.

For now I would like to dive a little deeper into the mindset of a man who has blocked you.

Why He Blocked You

I am about to give you the biggest advantage ever.

I am a man who has blocked women before. Some of the women I blocked were exes and some of them were just friends that pushed me to the point where I couldn’t deal with them anymore. I am going to let you in on exactly what caused me to block these women. In addition to that I have literally seen hundreds of women be blocked by their exes so I know all the main reasons for a “block” to happen.

My point here is that what I talk about on this page may be hard to hear but it is going to prepare you and maybe get some light bulbs to go off. Lets start with one of the most interesting reasons a man could potentially block you.

It Hurts Too Much To Talk To You

This is something that I have experienced first hand which is why I know it exists. In fact, this is something that I have to explain to my one on one coaching clients a lot.

I guess if there was ever going to be a positive reason for an ex boyfriend to block you this would be it.

Essentially how this works is that every time your ex talks to you on the phone or through text messaging it hurts him.

Not the kind of hurt where you fall down and skin your knee. No, I am talking about a deep hurt. The type of hurt that stays with you all day long and is impossible to get rid of.

If you are wondering about my particular situation I wasn’t actually officially dating the girl I blocked. In fact, this was years ago and I was starting to develop some feelings for her. Feelings that weren’t reciprocated. As a guy let me tell you it is a very humbling feeling when one moment you are on top of the world because you think a pretty girl is falling for you and then BAM!!

chuck norris punch

Like a Chuck Norris punch you learn the truth that your feelings are one sided.

Now, I am the type of guy that is very calm and classy in situations that don’t go my way (and believe me I have had a lot in my life.) Nevertheless, knowing that someone doesn’t feel “that way” about you can be very upsetting and it takes a toll on your mental health.

I made the decision to block this particular girl not because I was trying to be hurtful or “get back” at her (which I will talk about in a moment) but because it hurt to talk to her when I knew my feelings weren’t reciprocated (kind of held it against her.)

“But Chris, maybe if you waited around she would have woken up and realized that the perfect guy was right there in front of her.”

I am sorry but my time is valuable and I am not one to be strung along. Besides, for me the perfect girl will know right away and won’t need time to “sort out” her feelings.

Here is the main point I am trying to make about your ex boyfriend blocking you in this instance. Maybe he looks back on your time very fondly. Maybe he is obsessed with you for the right reasons but it simply hurts too much to talk to you.

It hurts because every time he does his feelings for you surface and maybe your relationship was very painful to him. So painful that he doesn’t want to remember it right now so he chooses to block you out of his life.

I want you to remember that any time an ex blocks you it is never a good sign. So, while this is probably the best outlook for being blocked it is still never a good thing.

(Don’t worry though I am going to be giving you a game plan for how to approach being blocked a little later.)

He Knows Blocking You Will Hurt You

No matter what there are always going to be those ex boyfriends out there that will hold things against you and look for revenge.

How do I know this?

Well, because I have actually been one these types of ex boyfriends. I know that is an absolutely horrible thing for me to say but I am actually not ashamed about it. Look, the thing you have to understand about men is that it is rare for us to be mature about our first few relationships.

As for me, I was a bit immature about my first relationship.

I look back now and just shake my head at how dumb I was. Nevertheless, being the immature idiot that I once was, was important because it taught me how to evolve into a more mature man. I looked back and was disappointed with how I acted and I actively worked to make sure I didn’t repeat those mistakes ever again in my future relationships. In other words, being immature at first was essential for me to evolve into a more mature and classy human being.

Now, you may be sitting there wondering,

“What if this only applies to you? What if it is different for other men?”

That is actually a really good point.

I would say that there is a 50/50 split on how men use their previous relationships to impact their future relationships (which we are hoping is you again 😉 .) Some men are like me and will learn from their mistakes and vow to never let them happen again. They will remain classy and mature in just about any situation.

However, the other type of men are the reason that this section was written. They won’t learn anything and they will refuse to change. In fact, rather than looking to “repair” your relationship they will look for revenge and they know for a fact that blocking you is the perfect way to do that. Again, this is another concept that I talk about a lot in my coaching sessions with clients.

So, I’ll break it down for you like I break it down for them.

One thing that we already know is that a man who blocks you to get back at you or to hurt you is not being mature about the situation. Like I said above, at one point in my life I went through a phase where I would have had no problem doing this.

Here is the exact thoughts I would have had,

“If I block her I know it will hurt her and maybe teach her a lesson..”

Pretty bad I know but I am telling you that is exactly what would run through my head. So, what factors do you think forced me into this type of thinking?

Why Do Men “Want Revenge,” “To Teach You A Lesson,” “Get Back At You?”

payback time

If an ex boyfriend blocks you to get revenge or to hurt you then one thing you already know right off the bat is that he is being very immature about the breakup. However, what I would like to do is give you some insight into what factors caused him to have these feelings of vengeance.

This first thing I want you to get through your mind is that USUALLY not all of the blame goes on him for wanting revenge. Sure, there are cases where your ex boyfriend is just a psycho and will want revenge because he is crazy. However, most ex boyfriends can point to something that YOU did wrong in the relationship. So, lets not pretend that you are entirely innocent here. We are all human beings after all and the thing about human beings is that none of us are perfect.

So, lets start there, the fact that you aren’t innocent.

It is every mans dream to date a woman that looks like a model. I guarantee you that if you walked up to a random guy on the street and gave him the choice to date an average looking girl versus a girl who looks like a model he will choose the model 100% of the time (even without knowing her personality.)

Of course, most men are dumb and they fail to realize that they aren’t the only ones with eyes. A woman who looks like a model is going to get a lot of attention from other men. That is just the way it is.

Hmm… perhaps I should be role playing here because this may be a little complicated to explain without the proper context.

Ok, you and I are dating.

Since you put professional models to shame you get a lot of attention from other men. While you don’t shout it out to the world you kind of like the attention from the other guys (even though you are dating me.) Realistically, I think if the roles were reversed and I got a lot of attention from women I would like it too so I can’t really blame you. However, I am playing the role of an idiot boyfriend here so I don’t look at it that way.

As you get attention from other men you begin to flirt with them a little. That is just the way you are. You like to flirt. You are a flirty, bubbly and upbeat person. Unfortunately, I am insecure and I get angry about the flirting.

Let’s fast forward to our breakup.

The two of us have broken up and I am angry. I decide that I want to block you to “get back at you” for the breakup. There are two things that will go through my mind when I decide to make the decision to block for this specific reason.

The first “reasoning” that I would have is tied to my understanding of how you are. I know for a fact that you are the type of person that likes to be social. You like creating and maintaining friendships. Even during our breakup you fed me the famous,

let’s still be friends” line.

While most women may not mean it when they say it, I know you well enough to know that you are serious about it.

So, if I block you and take the “friends” option off the table I know that it is going to cause you pain and I kind of like that fact because deep down I am hurt and I want you to feel as bad as I do.

(It’s so messed up, I know..)

The second thought that I will have relates to what I was talking about above (with you being pretty, liking the attention and flirting with other guys.) You see, all throughout our relationship I hated that you flirted with other guys. You know that I hated it too because a lot of fights were caused between us because of it.

Your flirty nature is going to be a prime reason for me wanting revenge.

Every time I think to myself,

“Wait, why did I block her?”

I am probably going to say,

“Oh, she was all over those guys that one time.”

That’s the thing about exes that block for revenge. They will latch on to everything you did wrong in the relationship as a reason for revenge. EVEN IF IT WASN’T THAT BAD AT ALL.

Truthfully though, the overall outlook isn’t as bad as it seems. There are a few silver linings that I think are important to understand if an ex blocks you in this instance.

Two Silver Linings

If your ex boyfriend blocks you and you suspect it’s to “teach you a lesson,” “get back at you,” or “get revenge.” There are a few silver linings that I want you to remember before you go into code RED panic mode.

As I have stated multiple times throughout this section, I have been in a place where I have wanted to “teach an ex a lesson,” “get back at her,” and “get revenge.” While on the outside it may have appeared that I disliked my ex on the inside I can tell you with 100% certainty that I still had feelings for her.

This is one of those very rare occasions where actions don’t match up with the truth of how a man would be feeling about the situation. While blocking an ex girlfriend is a bold action stating (GO AWAY) the ultimate truth could be that the man is just doing it so he can feel wanted by you… WAIT, WHAT?

Think about this for a moment.

If your ex boyfriend were to block your phone number and you went crazy on Facebook trying to contact him the fact that you want to be in touch with him so badly will feel good to him because it means you want him. Never underestimate the fact that all men love to feel wanted by women (even me.)

The second silver lining we have already kind of discussed.

Remember above when I was talking about how I was actually glad that I was immature in my first relationship because it forced me to evolve and become a more mature human being and I could bring more to the table in the future?

Well, it could be entirely possible that your ex boyfriend hasn’t gone through this evolution yet. He may look back and be completely ashamed of how he blocked you and will want to get back in touch down the road (This is covered extensively later in the guide.)

For now, lets get through the rest of the reasons for why he may have blocked you.

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He Blocked You Because He Never Wants To Talk To You Again

are you still here

So far we have talked about two vastly different reasons for an ex boyfriend to block you.

  1. He blocks you because it hurts too much to talk to you.
  2. He blocks you because he knows it will hurt you.

Well, I am about to add another entirely different reason into the mix here,

Him never wanting anything to do with you ever again….

Where him blocking you because it hurts to talk to you has a lot to do with the emotions he has towards you and him blocking you to cause you pain is done from a place of anger, him blocking you because he never wants anything to do with you again is done from a place where you have pushed him to the point of no return.

In other words, him blocking you because he never wants to talk to you again is the worst case scenario for pretty much everyone reading this page.

So, I am going to give this the attention it deserves.

Does He Really Mean It?

didnt mean it

Whats that old phrase?

When emotions run high logic runs low.

Speaking from personal experience there have been times where I have become so angry that I threw logic out of the window completely. Let me give you a real example from one of my previous relationships.

About four years ago I was dating a girl and we got into a fight (like couples tend to do.) It was four years ago so there are a few things that you need to understand. At that time I was still very much in the “maturing” phase of my life. Also, I was a little selfish so I didn’t really treat her as well as I could have.

Well, once the fight had commenced I made the biggest mistake ever. I allowed my emotions to control me. Instead of approaching the fight with this mindset,

“Ok, calm down Chris. Lets communicate with her and become better from this.”

I approached the fight with this mindset,

“I don’t care what she thinks. What are the most hurtful things that I can say to her?”

To my great shame…. I did just that (said the most hurtful things possible.) I thought of every hurtful subject I could to twist the knife a little deeper.

Her parents…

Her insecurities…

Her friends…

Logic was out the window and the lovely emotion of anger was in control. This brings me to the big point I am trying to make here.

Do you think I really meant any of the things I said to her?

Of course not.

Look, while I may have thought those horrible things in my head if you were to go deep inside my mind at the time I really didn’t mean any of them. The only reason I verbalized any of those thoughts was because I got angry and was looking for a way to hurt my girlfriend.

(Again, this is a completely immature way to handle the situation but anger has a way of throwing maturity out of the window.)

Ok, everything I just talked about I want you to remember because the “emotions run high logic runs low” theory is going to apply to my next few comments.

In the example I gave above I was in the middle of a relationship with a girl. What do you think would have happened if I had broken up with this girl?

No matter how you slice it a breakup is a highly emotional situation and it is almost a guarantee that things are going to be said (from both sides) that neither person means. One of those things may be something like,

“I never want to talk to you again.”

So, lets say that your ex boyfriend said this to you after your breakup and a day or two down the road you realized that your number has been blocked on his phone. Your immediate reaction is to panic and run around like a crazy person screaming, “THE APOCALYPSE IS HERE!!!!”

But I want to let you in on a little secret.

You probably won’t be blocked forever.

“Wait… what do you mean?”

You remember that whole “when emotions run high, logic runs low” speech I gave you at the beginning of this section right?

Well, the thing about emotions running high and logic running low is that eventually logic does return to run the show. Emotions reign is only temporary and logic is usually left to clean up the mess that emotion made.

(Yes, I am totally referring to emotion and logic like they are people, DEAL WITH IT!)

I have literally witnessed hundreds of women get blocked by their exes. Want to know something pretty shocking?

About 60% of those women end up back in touch with their exes in some way, shape or form. Here is what the thought process of an ex boyfriend who blocks you will typically look like:

easelly_visual

The infographic above is actually kind of cool because you can see the progression from anger back to logic. Remember, the way this usually works is that your ex boyfriend will start off thinking with logic. However, when something painful happens (like a breakup) the logic switch gets turned off and the emotion/anger switch gets turned on. Of course, the emotion/anger switch doesn’t stay on forever. Slowly but surely logic is going to take the reigns back.

The picture above kind of shows you what will happen in your exes mind if he decides to unblock you (which as I said above is actually pretty likely.)

What I am going to do now is go through the entire progression in the picture so you can understand exactly what is happening in his mind.

“I am angry at her.”

This one is pretty self explanatory. He is angry at you. This anger signifies when the logic switch is turned off and when the emotion switch is turned on. Remember, emotion = anger in this case.

“I think I will block her.”

This is your exes first big action under the guise of emotion. He knows that blocking you will probably cause you pain.

“Blocking her didn’t feel as good as I thought it would.”

The truth of the situation sets in. Emotion steered him wrong as he is beginning to regret his decision. Hurting you doesn’t feel too good to him. This signifies the time where emotion is starting to lose its grasp on him. Logic is starting to set back in.

“God… I kind of miss her.”

This is kind of interesting. So far, the emotion of anger has been running the show. While logic is slowly retaking the battlefield some of the good emotions are starting to kick in. You know, emotions that make a guy go,

“I miss her.”

or

“I still have feelings for her.”

That is what is happening here. His anger is being replaced by the emotions that made him fall for you in the first place.

“I think I am going to unblock her.”

Welcome our good friend logic back to the party. That’s really the best way I can put it.

He Really Means It And Never Wants To Talk To You Again

never talk again

I said that in about 60% of the cases an ex boyfriend will end up getting back in touch with you after he blocks you. While that percentage number is pretty high the truth is that it isn’t 100%. In fact, it means that 40% of exes could be serious about blocking you and may never want to talk to you again.

For every women reading this page having this happen is the worst possible outcome that they can think of.

Why?

Because it basically means that your chances of getting your ex back are 0%.

It is at this point that I would like to admit that I have actually blocked people from my life that I was serious about never talking to again and to this day I haven’t ever talked to them. Actually, there were only two people that I have ever done this with.

Both of them were women. One of them was an ex girlfriend and another was a friend that had a serious crush on me.

So, what did they do to cause me to “blacklist” them?

Lets start with the ex girlfriend first since I am sure that she is the one that you really want to hear about.

The thing you have to understand about this girl was the fact that the two of us just weren’t a good match for each other. We fought constantly, we didn’t agree on a lot of serious issues and by the end the relationship was so toxic that I literally went to bed at night dreading the next day.

After we broke up I made a decision to block her so I wouldn’t even be tempted to get back into that situation ever again.

Maybe me blocking her was done from a mindset of emotion as opposed to logic but in all honesty I am glad I did it because there was no way that I could have been happy with her.

So, basically I decided to block my ex because I determined that there was no way that she could improve my life. I knew I still had some feelings for her at the time and I knew that if I didn’t block her I would have been sucked back in and I didn’t want that for myself.

My second story of blocking someone was completely different but just as important because it can give you some important insight into how men think.

I had a friend who definitely had feelings for me (she told me she did.) Unfortunately for her, I didn’t like her in that way. Now, prior to this point I had only ever blocked one person in my entire life (that ex girlfriend I talked about above.) So, blocking someone from my life is very rare for me.

However, this friend who had feelings for me pushed me to that point very quickly when she started harassing me.

Every time I wouldn’t text her back immediately I would get harassed.

Every time I would tell her in a very nice way that I think she should move on she would harass me.

The main point is that she would say some really mean things and question my character. Apparently, I was “leading her on” even though I told her to move on. The harassment finally got to the point where it was starting to make me a little angry.

So, I gave her a warning,

“Look, if you keep acting this way we can’t be friends anymore.”

Once I told her this she settled down for a little while until I didn’t text her back immediately and then the harassment resumed. She had pushed me to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore so I blocked her from everything and never talked to her again.

She simply wasn’t adding anything positive into my life, just negative.

The Different Degrees Of Blocking

(If you want to learn more about how you can get your boyfriend back then please check out my E-Book.)

blocked me

Now that you have a better understanding of why an ex boyfriend may block you I would like to turn your attention to HOW an ex can block you.

I entitled this section “The Different Degrees Of Blocking” because some forms of blocking are much worse that others. Don’t worry, I will explain that in a minute. First though, lets take a look at all the ways that an ex boyfriend can block you from his life.

(I know that this is a hard topic to read about but bear with me here.)

I have determined that there are really five ways that an ex boyfriend can block you.

  1. On the phone.
  2. On Facebook.
  3. Through applications
  4. Through email.
  5. The full block out.

As always, I am going to go in great detail into each of these methods so you can fully understand the situation you have found yourself in.

On The Phone

Have you ever noticed how our cell phones or smartphones are sacred to us all?

Personally speaking, the people that matter most to me all have my phone number. To me, my phone is sacred. It is like a little sanctuary where only a select number of important people are invited. I don’t just hand my number out unless I want you in my life. It is as simple as that.

I have found that most people are like that. They are very protective of their phones. Most people don’t just hand out their numbers and they sure as heck put some thought into who they are blocking from their phones.

This brings us to you and your ex.

I would say that an ex blocking you from his phone is the most common thing that I hear about when I talk to women on this site. Fortunately, it is easy to unblock someone from your phone. As I said above, around 60% of exes do end up getting back in touch after they block their significant other.

So, how bad is it if you get blocked from your exes phone?

Well, getting blocked is never a good thing but I will tell you that if you get blocked from his phone don’t think the world is over. It is actually the most common form of blocking.

On Facebook

Next to Google, Facebook is one of the biggest websites in the world.

In fact, I have always found it amusing that in the day and age that we live in a relationship isn’t ever “official” until Facebook says it is. Heck, two people can meet through Facebook and fall in love. Funny anecdote, my best friend actually met his girlfriend of five years through Facebook.

(They are still dating if you are wondering.)

Now, I don’t know your situation specifically but what I do know is that if your ex blocks you through Facebook it is not a good thing.

Why do I say that?

When you block someone from your phone (at least on the iPhone) it isn’t really that hard to unblock them. However, if you block someone on Facebook it is actually quite hard to unblock them. Nevertheless, I have found that most men don’t block their exes on Facebook.

Why?

Well, they want to spy on them to see how bad they are hurting.

Through Applications

Some people don’t really use text messaging on their phones. Instead they opt to go through messaging applications like:

  • WhatsApp
  • Kik Messanger
  • Snapchat

In my view these are all the same as text messaging (with the exception of Snapchat.) What you need to keep an eye out for is if you are being blocked from his regular phone and from these little applications. If he does block you through both the applications and the big phone it is not a good sign. While there is still a 60% chance that he will unblock you down the road he may be more serious about the blocking if he takes the time to block you on all these little applications as well.

Still though, an ex boyfriend who blocks a girl is usually doing so through a highly emotional state. Give it some time and you will be surprised at what happens.

Through Emails

Did you know that it is possible to block someone on email?

Well, it is.

I want to make this as simple as possible. If he is blocking you on email it is a very bad sign. It means he is probably much more serious about not talking to you. Of course, I am all about turning negatives into positives so the thing that you have to understand is that very rarely do men communicate with their girlfriends through email.

Usually they communicate through talking on the phone, through Facebook or other social media outlets.

So, keep those spirits high because it isn’t the end of the world yet.

A Full Block Out

Lets talk about a nightmare scenario.

Lets say that your ex boyfriend is extremely angry with you after the breakup. So, he decides to institute a full block out.

What is a full block out?

Full Block Out– When an ex boyfriend blocks you in every way imaginable. Where there is no possible way you can get in touch with him.

Essentially, this is where your ex boyfriend blocks you from his phone, through Facebook, through applications and through his email. I have even heard some cases where he can block your mutual friends for a while so he doesn’t have to see you in person.

What type of women are at risk for a full block out?

Generally what I have seen is the women who have cheated on their ex boyfriends. Cheating has a way of making people angry, who knew?

(That was sarcasm by the way.)

Look, I am not saying that only cheaters get the full block out treatment as there have been cases where an ex does a full block out “just because.” What I am saying is that cheaters have a higher risk of it happening to them. So, keep that in mind.

What You Need To Do If An Ex Boyfriend Blocks You

(Learn more about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO by clicking here.)

Now we are really getting to the good stuff.

So far all I have talked about is the psychology that goes behind someone blocking an ex. I haven’t really talked about what to do if it happens to you (which is what a lot of you are probably wondering.) Well, now that I feel I have properly explained everything that needs to be explained when someone blocks you we can move on and focus on exactly what steps you need to take if you do get blocked.

For this section I have outlined the steps that I want you to take if you do get blocked in the graphic below,

easelly_visual(1)

Lets start at the very beginning with determining the extent of the block.

Determine The Extent of The Block

superman

(I couldn’t resist… I had to put a superman meme up.)

If you skipped over the “different degrees of blocking” section above it might be a good idea to go back and read it because what is talked about there is essential for what is going to be talked about here.

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that some forms of blocking are worse than others.

Once you learn that you have been blocked by your ex boyfriend it is your job to figure out in how many ways you have been blocked. Why is this important?

Well, look at it this way. If your ex boyfriend blocks you from his smartphone but he doesn’t block you from Facebook then technically you can still get back in touch with him through Facebook when you want. Knowing what options you have is important because those options are going to determine how you play the game.

Of course, I still haven’t told you what to do if you are faced with the worse case scenario of a full out blockage. In other words, what do you do if your ex boyfriend blocks you in every form imaginable?

I am going to say something that I have been putting off for a while now because it is going to be very hard for you to hear and you will probably hate me for it but it needs to be said. If you are faced with a situation where you are blocked by your ex in every way then your options are very limited.

The truth is that in that situation there is only one person who can help you and he isn’t too fond of you right now (remember, he blocked you.)

In other words, you are in the worst possible position because you are at his mercy completely. While there are a few things you can do to influence his decision there isn’t really anything you can say to change his mind. Why? Well, because you are blocked, remember?

“But what if I confront him in person?”

So, let me get this straight. Your ex blocks you (a strong statement from him saying that he doesn’t want to talk to you) and you decide that, that means you should try harder and confront him in person?

Look, I am going to tell you exactly what he will think if you do this.

“Wow, she really is psycho.”

Don’t be the psycho ex girlfriend. Be the confident ungettable one.

Patience = No Contact

patient bear

So, what is the genius plan to deal with being blocked by an ex?

Well, your first instincts when you find out that you are blocked are going to scream,

“TRY HARDER!!”

You are going to want to get in touch with him as soon as possible in any way you can possibly think of. I have even seen some women compose long letters and mail them to their exes. Look, I am a fan of letters but the only time that they ever mean something to me is when I am dating someone. If I were to get one from an ex I would be a little creeped out.

Right now, your best bet when you find out that you are blocked is to exercise patience. I am sure you have heard that phrase,

Patience is a virtue

Well, in this case it really is. This brings me to my next point. How are you supposed to exercise patience?

Through the no contact rule of course.

I am not going to take the time explain what the no contact rule is since I talk about it so much on this site. However, what I can do for you is give you a link to a new guide I wrote that really goes in-depth on my new view of the no contact rule. I highly recommend that you read that page.

Why do you think the no contact rule is a good idea in this case?

Throughout this entire page I have thrown around a pretty interesting statistic relating to women who have been blocked. Do you remember what that statistic was?

I have found, when talking to the women who have been blocked, that in 60% of cases their exes end up getting back in touch with them. These women didn’t have to do anything for their ex to get in touch it just happened all on its own.

The no contact rule will force you to be patient and it will also prevent you from being tagged as that psycho ex girlfriend I talked about above.

Facebook/Other Social Media

facebook

The beautiful thing about the no contact rule is that on top of making an ex boyfriend think about you more,

“Why hasn’t she tried to contact me?”

It also forces you to put a lot of focus on yourself. I am going to be honest with all of the women reading this. Most of you won’t get your ex boyfriend back because you can’t get out of your own way.

What do I mean by that?

Right now you are conditioned to think about your ex boyfriend as opposed to thinking of yourself. Many of you probably think that you can’t live without him. I have heard just about every sob story in the book. Nothing really shocks me anymore. You know what I would like? For once I would like to open up the comments on this site and read something like,

“I don’t care if I get him back or not but I am going to become so incredible that when he is on his deathbed and looking back at his life he will say to himself, I made a mistake letting her go.”

You see, that is interesting to me. That tells me that your world doesn’t revolve around a guy and it also says that you have a lot of self confidence. I want you to remember this attitude because it is going to be extremely important for you to have for what I say next.

Your ex has blocked you but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t checking up on you on Facebook or other social media outlets. So, rather than sit in your room and cry about your situation I say you be proactive with the knowledge that he will be keeping an eye on you through Facebook.

Lets go back to that attitude that I wanted you to have. You know, the “I will become so incredible he will regret his decision” attitude.

Make the necessary changes in your life to become incredible and make sure you let the world know about it on social media. Update your Facebook profile with things like,

  • Incredible pictures of your life.
  • Incredible things that happen to you.
  • Fun pictures of you and your friends having a good time.
  • Pictures of you and some guy friends (spark some jealousy.)
  • Anything that can be viewed as a positive thing.

This may be an embarrassing thing for me to admit but for years after I broke up with my ex girlfriend I would check up on her Facebook profile. The two of us weren’t Facebook friends but her wall was semi public to where I could see the major events of her life.

Here is the interesting thing though, two years after the breakup occurred between us I didn’t have any feelings for her at all. However, I would still check up on her because I was curious.

Your in a better position than I was because the breakup between you and your ex boyfriend is probably still fresh which means both of you probably still have feelings for each other. Curiosity is a powerful motivator and he will probably come snooping around in the near future to see how you are.

So, do you want him to see a depressed version of you or a happy version?

I don’t have to answer that do I?

Mutual Friends

friends

An avid reader of Ex Boyfriend Recovery had an interesting idea.

Her ex boyfriend had blocked her (a full block out) and she didn’t know what to do. So, what she decided to do was use her ex boyfriend and her’s mutual friends to pass a long letter to him. Of course, the letter idea didn’t work out for her as he didn’t unblock her but I think she may have been on to something with those mutual friends.

You see, her mind was in the right place with the mutual friends but she didn’t really use the mutual friends in the right way. Using them to pass letters or messages back and forth usually never works.

What she should have done was used the mutual friends as a way to get her exes attention. Allow me to explain.

Have you ever noticed how humans have this tendency to spread information like wildfire. Well, this is especially true when it comes to relationships. Perhaps it is best if I give a fake example to illustrate my point.

Your ex boyfriend has blocked you from his phone and has unfriended you on Facebook. Right now you are pretty much down in the dumps. Of course, the world isn’t over so you decide to hang out with a few mutual friends that you and your ex boyfriend have. These mutual friends aren’t bad people but how much do you want to bet that the second your little play date with them is over they won’t send something like this to your ex,

wildfire message

If you are betting against a message being sent like this then I think you owe me some money 😉 .

I would actually say that you want this message to be sent because it is going to force your ex to think about you. Once you are in his head curiosity will take hold and he may start spying on your Facebook profile or grilling your mutual friends on how you are doing.

This brings me to my next point.

Should you talk to your mutual friends about your ex?

Well, at some point of your hangout with them I am betting you will get a question like,

“So, how are you after the breakup?”

If you are faced with a situation like this here is how you should play it.

Things not to say:

  • DON’T say that the breakup was the greatest thing that ever happened to you. (we don’t want that getting around to your ex)
  • DON’T say that you are devastated by the breakup.

Things to say:

  • DO say your life is going great.
  • DO smile a lot.
  • DO talk about anything great that has recently happened to you.
  • DO ask about your ex.

I want to talk about that last “DO.”

Why do you think I want you to ask about your ex boyfriend?

Well, I want you to seem interested but not too interested. It’s ok if you are asking about your ex boyfriend. We are trying to get his attention so he could potentially unblock you. What you do want to avoid is asking about him too much.

In fact, I would say only ask about him once and then move on to talking about something else.

Here is how the conversation should go:

Mutual Friend: So, how are you holding up after the breakup?

You: I am doing fine! I have been focusing a lot on me and it has been great.

Mutual Friend: Do you still think about him?

You: From time to time. Why? Did he ask about me or something?

Mutual Friend: He may have been asking 😉 .

You: Well, tell him I say hi.

(End conversation there.)

Contact Your Ex After NC (If Possible)

Lets say your no contact period is completed and your ex still hasn’t unblocked you. However, you are still able to contact him via Facebook.

Well, after the no contact rule is complete would be a great time to initiate a conversation. Enough time should have passed for him to calm down a little bit so if you play your cards right you could get a response.

Ah, but what do you say?

Well, I have created multiple guides that cover that:

Well, it was fun writing this guide. I hope you got a lot out of it. As always I will be happy to answer any questions. Feel free to ask me anything in the comments.

2,345 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You”

  1. Avatar

    Hani

    January 16, 2020 at 1:01 pm

    I have long distance relationship with a guy for a year. I had observed his behaviour. He always blocked me after argument. Sometimes, the reason was silly like I fall asleep and he kept calling for couple times (our time difference = 6hours). I always find a way to contact him back and say sorry.
    Last week, I had enough. I give him the power to manipulate and abuse me. I decided to let him be. Once I am strong enough, I will contact him again to let him go for good.

  2. Avatar

    Lynn

    January 6, 2020 at 10:22 am

    We lived together for 3 years and after an argument he moved out, however it really wasnt a move as he was at home 5 days a week still, spending the other 2 at his parents. As time went on, I believe he started seeing people from Tinder, but was still at home 3-4 nights a week. At christmas he took a vacation with me and my family, but would mention, I was single or he loved me but couldnt be with me because I was mean.
    I would like to point out that we had no arguments during the time he left in the end of Oct to the vacation because I was so timid mainly because just saying hi could have him blow up. I tried no contact but he kept coming home and I didnt know how to handle.
    We return from vacation and hes gone MIA for 2 days, no answering texts, phone not at parents etc. Day 3 he shows up and spends the next 2 nights at my house. I asked if he had a girlfriend before sleeping with him and he denied it. The thing is, I knew he was lying, I knew who he was seeing. He had spent the night with her 4 times since meeting her 2.5 weeks ago.
    We want out Friday night, I got drunk and finally let it all go. I said some horrible things to him and fb messaged her and told her about both of us. He came to my house the next AM and asked why I did it and I said I felt it was fair she knew since he was being deceitful. A few hours later I packed up all of his things and took them to his house, rang the door bell and left. He answered the door and asked me to come in. I did and he told me it was over between them, he felt bad I ruined it for him cuz he loved her but he also loved me. I apologized cuz thats not the kind of person I wanna be. He said he doesnt know if he can ever look at me again. I left. I am blocked on phone, whats ap, Facebook, snapchat. I am not blocked on instagram but I dont know if thats just cuz he forgot.
    I am indefinitely going NC and I am not sure what I want, he broke alot of trust but we have been together 6 years. What are your thoughts on this?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 11, 2020 at 12:59 am

      Hey Lynn so I suggest if you want to get this person back then it going to take some time and patience on your part. Maybe read about the Ungettable girl information and work that into your lifestyle so that you end up becoming the absolute best version of yourself. And when your ex unblocks you (which usually does happen after 3-6 months) he will then look at you and wonder if he made the right choice walking away. When that happens it is up to you to show that you are not the same person he left, you know your worth and you will not just drop everything to reply to him either, you go slow and you follow this program

  3. Avatar

    Mary

    January 5, 2020 at 7:00 am

    We were seeing eachother and we had a verbal argument over the chat.
    He blocked me on both the chats we were using:WhatsApp and telegram. So yes he did go out of his way to block me …but I think is really exagerated…as I was adding some positivity in his life. Until the night before we were chatting fine and laughing etc..

  4. Avatar

    KK

    January 5, 2020 at 6:24 am

    I caught my boyfriend of 2 months in a white lie. Imo a lie is a lie no matter how small. I went crazy. I started questioning everything he’s ever said to me. He kept apologizing and apologizing. Saying he wanted to fight for us and that he loved me. I let my anger get the best of me. I said the words “We are done.” I felt terrible and immediately took those words back. You and I both know that you can’t take words back. I apologized and apologized. I also said I wanted to work it out. Silence. Next day I apologized again in a long message. He blocked my number. 3 days later, he broke up with me via text that sounded like his mom texting instead of him and wished me the best. He blocked me back but this time total blockout. I couldn’t say anything due to his block. I am devastated. So 3 days after that I sent his hat back with a mutual friend along with a letter which was probably a no no but I felt like I should have let him know I was trying to work it out. I said I missed him and wanted him back but I wished him the best and maybe down the road we can try again. I know now I shouldn’t sent the letter probably. He may not have read it but it was for my closure but I miss him dearly. I don’t know what to do. It was our first fight and he just shut down and didn’t communicate. I blame myself. Your help is greatly appreciated. I feel like crap for saying those words but it’s too late to take back. You think he’ll ever come back? Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 8, 2020 at 4:44 pm

      Hey KK so there is no way to tell you that he definitely will or wont come back, but you can start following the program and attempt to reach out to him, if you are in a total block then all you can do is work on becoming ungettable until you are able to see or speak to your ex again

  5. Avatar

    Keisha

    January 3, 2020 at 5:36 am

    Hi, I have an ex or guy I’ve been talking to for a year heavy. Met his parents and all. Around May we got into an huge argument soon as I left from visiting him and meeting his parents and we wanted a break. During the break we were still conversing daily. Then around July he decided to end the break fully and not get back “together” but we were still talking and texting. Flirting and everything. He left for bootcamp and while he was away his texting was scarce. But we still communicated and flirted a bit. When he officially graduates from camp he proceeds to tell me he’s talking to someone and it is serious. That he didn’t want to hurt me. I also found out a little before he told me he was talking to the individual. Then he proceeds to tell me that he told me to move on after the second break up but continued to talk to me and flirt so I thought that something was still there and that we may get back “together”. In the end I wished him luck on his new relationship but I also went off in a way of maturity. I didn’t curse, nor call him out of his name. Just immature for talking to me while still talking to her. Anyways after him responding to my long message that he agrees. He’ll work on it and thanks. 10 days later after me not texting back he blocks me from all social media’s. But I’m still able to text him. My messages are delivering but he’s not responding. Though of course he’s with someone else at the moment. He always stated that he would never block people. Even to the point that he still keeps all the females he’s talked to in the past on his social media’s. So why block me? And why after 10days? I didn’t speak harsh on him nor go off on social media. Just posted regular stuff on the daily. And of course I miss him and would love for us to get in contact again I just want a hint on why me? And why after 10days? And why only social media and not text messages? And is it crazy to still want him back even though I know he’s with someone else now and that our relationship wasn’t always perfect?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 6:12 am

      Hey Keisha, so I cant really tell you why hes blocked you now, I can tell you though that if you are living your life and social media is portraying you as a happy person he may have struggled with the idea of that you are happy with out him. Or the other woman he is with has asked him to block you as they see you as a threat to their relationship. If you want this person back then you need to spend a little bit of time in No contact so that hte new relationship has time to pass the honeymoon phase, gives you time to work on yourself some more and also read about the being there method. Which I think you are doing with out even putting in the real work yet if they have blocked you from the start

  6. Avatar

    Kathy

    January 2, 2020 at 6:25 pm

    I noticed my ex has unblocked me on Instagram. He blocked me when he ended things with me.
    It’s been 3 months since we’ve spoken. We had a big row so I decided to block him on WhatsApp as I felt really hurt by his actions one night. I decided to unblock him on WhatsApp due to noticing he had unblocked me on Instagram. Shale I wait to see if he reaches out? Or shale I reach out? What do you think is wise?
    I’m not planning on getting back with him just want to be civil and perhaps talk. I think we do care for eachother still. I don’t want to get my hopes up.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 1:27 am

      Hi Kathy, so I would make sure you have spent at least 30 days in No Contact before you reach out and when you do make sure it is a text like what Chris suggests, one which is going to hook his interests and make him want to talk to you

  7. Avatar

    Kassandra

    December 29, 2019 at 12:25 pm

    Hi Shaunna,
    I had to come back here to let you know that he unblocked me on WhatsApp! Friday was my 45th day of NC. I decided to just write a short email. I had a nice anecdote to tell about a recent work situation that he could relate to. I wrote on Friday afternoon. He replied that same evening at a time I know he usually writes/checks emails.

    Strangely enough, he half-asked / half-told me he’d unblock me on WhatsApp. It seems he’s not sure if I want to talk to him. I didn’t want to jump onto the possibility of chatting to him just because he unblocked me, so I waited until Saturday afternoon to reply to his email. I don’t know if that’s the right move, but I gave him an indication that it’s okay to chat on WhatsApp.

    He signed his email off in such a cordial manner (English isn’t his native language) that I don’t know what it means. He’s usually way more informal, even when he was clearly angry and hurt. Does that mean he’s just being very careful?

    Anyway, one thing a 45-day NC taught me is to not be impulsive, not to panick and to just let things sit for a while.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 29, 2019 at 10:46 pm

      This is good to hear Kassandra, he is open to talking with you now go slow and let him see you are not going to chase him down or hassle him to talk to you. And do not bring up the past, you can now message him friendly every few days but make sure you are the one who ends the conversation not him, even if you just stop replying now and again. And always at the best part of the conversation. Look at Chris’ articles and videos about how to end a conversation first, how to deal with texting an ex

  8. Avatar

    Jill

    December 25, 2019 at 8:58 am

    Hi,

    My ex of 2 almost 3 years broke up with me through text the morning he was supposed to fly home ( we were doing long distance for school) . He then blocked me on Instagram, facebook, snapchat and whatsapp. Since I was shocked (he was normal the night before), I wrote him an email, my only way of contacting him. He replied with vague factors. I replied once more explaining and never got another response. I haven’t talked/messaged him since. Its been just over a week. But recently, I realized he unblocked me on Instagram, Facebook and whatsapp. But because of their systems, i have been unfriended as well. I plan to do the NC for at least 30 days but what do you think is going on in his mind? Should I friend him again after the NC??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 29, 2019 at 7:04 pm

      Hi Jill, no do not refriend him after a No Contact just reach out through text with a message that Chris suggests in his videos and articles

  9. Avatar

    marcia

    December 23, 2019 at 5:38 pm

    Hello to the diamond Chris Seiter team!!!

    My ex, he just blocked me again on messenger. Given the fact he did that just 3 days before Christmas, I quess this is his Christmas gift to me.

    He was ignoring my messages for 1 year (but he was secretly reading them) then he replied suddenly with a ”hello” 2 weeks ago, and after an hour he pressed again ”ignore messages”.

    So now he pressed ”block messages” and I can’t write to him anything. Seeing this change, I think this is a game, but how can I know for sure? It could be that he wants to be undisturbed to be with his current girlfriend (or whatever) during Christmas. Actually he had blocked me again at Christmas 2 years ago for a full week (while we were seeing each other), and then had defended himself ”I dont know what happenned, I didn’t block you”. And I was patient, giving him the benefit of the doubt. But now it happens again at Christmas, so that means he was a liar also before, doesn’t it? And at another incident he had said ”give me your mobile number again, as it seems to have been erased, I don’t know how this happened”. But I am sure this was a lie, he had deleted my number, for whatever reason. He seems a very fishy person. I don’t understand, if he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, why not unfriend me and block me comptelely, then get on with his life or get married or do whatever he likes?

    What’s the best way I wonder to punish someone who is clearly playing games… I sadly haven’t done any work on getting ungettable, I didn’t feel like it, and was only resorting on eating chocolates, but perhaps I should work on myself. I can wait on him and play the game for 10 years, I don’t mind. I am still single and can’t find a good man to be worth to be serious about. There was another one that came along, but he seemed the same kind of jerk, wanting to come to my house instead of a 3rd date, so I turned him down right at the start.

    Merry Christmas to you all and many thanks for all the comfort and ideas you are providing us with! You are really saving us and I thank God you exist!!!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 23, 2019 at 7:06 pm

      Im sorry hes playing mind games with you and you need to ignore him and give him the silent treatment instead of replying to him Merry Christmas to you too Marica, have a lovely one and forget about childish games 😉

  10. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

    EBR Team Member: Shaunna

    December 22, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    Hi Shree, its hard going through a break up but you do need to learn how to move past the pain for your benefit. Following the program is going to give you, your best chance of getting him back as you have no choice at the moment as you are blocked but normally when they are less emotional exes tend to unblock us

  11. Avatar

    Cherry Seya

    December 20, 2019 at 4:39 am

    My ex blocked me (total blockout) after an argument. He didnt tell me anything but he told my sister and my son he thinks it wont work out for us. Initially, I tried talking to his kids that made him ask them to block me. I feel devastated. After few days he send me an I Love You message but remained blocked. We had been doing good aside of course from small arguments which are settled immediately. I really want him back. What would I do? I have read everything in this article and I want to give it a try. By the way, he is on his 60s and we are almost 20yrs apart.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 21, 2019 at 10:32 pm

      Hi Cherry, so you have to respect that right now he does not want to speak with you, so you are forced into doing a no contact, so make sure you make it worth while and work on being ungettable. and do not reach out to his children again

  12. Avatar

    Betty

    December 15, 2019 at 3:35 am

    My ex.. now ex I guess has completely Blocked me from all avenues -we had a discussion that turned into a very heated discussion and I said something hurtful that I did apologize for but couldn’t let things go. This back and fourth went through email and texting for another 2 weeks.
    during that two weeks he changed the locks At his apartment that I have keys to and when I came back from Thanksgiving I wrote him an email making light of the situation I mention that we should talk face-to-face because things get lost in translation when we write each other -he wrote me and said I don’t think we should see each other again and blocked me completely. FROM EVERYTHING.
    It was the biggest fight we have ever had and he mentioned that he thinks we have grave differences that have come to light and then makes this decision through email after being on and off for year and a half??
    I’m not sure what to do.
    Is this completely crazy I was thinking of leaving a voice recorder of me talking to him explaining a few things that he is not aware of and leaving it at his store or am I just thinking psycho thoughts now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 15, 2019 at 9:19 pm

      Hi Betty that is very extreme, you need to give your ex some space! You are not respecting the fact he wanted to break up, or are you following the rules of no contact! Do not voice record anything and do not send him any more emails, texts, or phone calls. Leave him completely alone for 45 days and work on yourself, on your emotional control and learn how to work on yourself, as we call here Ungettable. You have 45 days to reinvent yourself and cultivate a different impression to your ex when he unblocks you, if you leave him alone long enough to do so!

  13. Avatar

    Kassandra

    December 10, 2019 at 10:17 am

    Hi Shaunna,
    Thanks for the reply! That’s great insight into why he blocked me, since it never was his intention to cut ties with me. He was always dead set against it and got offended once when I suggested we give each other space (why?? I still don’t get that).

    I’m struggling with the idea of being ungettable. Breaking up with me surely equates to saying “you’re undesirable”. I’m also not sure how I could make my life look more amazing on social media. My Facebook and Instagram have always been about my hobbies and activities. He knows that because we were connected via social media for many years. I don’t want to suddenly post in an uncharacteristic or insincere way; this guy is stubborn post break-up, but he’s still quite perceptive and will know what’s behind that.

    When he ended it, he said that I enriched his life, and that he thinks I’m very intelligent, interesting and sexy. He expressed heartbreak at the idea that he couldn’t convince me to have higher self-esteem. But rejecting me doesn’t exactly prove his point! It just feeds into my insecurity.

    Do I just keep posting and hope curiosity gets the better of him eventually?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 11, 2019 at 8:55 pm

      Hey K yes keep posting UG things and make sure you are always striving to be the best version of yourself so that you reach a point that you are always doing amazing and are happy in your own company too

  14. Avatar

    Mary

    December 10, 2019 at 9:25 am

    Hello! So my ex blocked me on whataspp a year ago and I haven’t said a single word to him. In september, this year, he contacted me on instagram out of the blue, like nothing ever happened.I made a stupid mistake and slept with him for a couple of times. Yesterday i checked my instagram and I saw that he blocked me, again..Why would he do that when I wasn’t the one bothering him or intiating contact? I am so mad right now and I wanna tell him so many things. What should I do? Why can’t he leave me alone?

    Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 11, 2019 at 8:58 pm

      Hi Mary Im sorry he did this to you, just ignore him and take it as a lesson learnt that he is not going to be able to do that to you again

  15. Avatar

    J

    December 8, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    Hi EBR,

    Looking for some advice, here. My ex bf dumped me over text message. He said it was because he didn’t have feelings for me, but he has a long history of commitment issues that definitely are playing a key role here. Our friends all agree he had very obvious strong feelings for me. A slight loss of attraction is very possible, but a few weeks prior, he told me he was freaking out a bit about commitment and the relationship aspect of the entire thing. I explained to him that I was very much ok with taking it slow and not labeling things before we felt good and ready. I tried to be as patient and loving about it as I could be. I could go on and on here about reasons I’m sure that commitment is the main cause, but I of course have to take his word that some sort of lack of feelings may exist.

    Anyhoo, I completed an ENTIRE 30 day no contact rule! Very proud of myself, (*insert pat on the back here*) I didn’t think I could do it but I did, I did not reach out to him at all whatsoever, didn’t wish him a happy birthday or happy holidays either. I’ve been hitting the gym nonstop, doing some light traveling, finishing up college and generally living my life.

    31 days later, I sent him a very mysterious (and enthusiastic/friendly) text asking for his opinion on an interest of his. He responded very enthusiastically as well, we had a very brief but positive exchange, and then I ended the conversation by not responding. So I sent him 3 texts, and he responded to all 3. So far, I’ve done exactly as this site has advised me to do, everything has gone according to plan.

    BUT, it’s now a few days later, and I’m feeling stumped. The problem I’m having, is that I actually blocked him on social media during the 30 day no contact rule. I found myself obsessively staring at his social media accounts. He’s a bit of a ladies man, to put it lightly. I needed to block him to make myself sane, and while I don’t regret it, I do realize that in hindsight it is preventing him from seeing how well I’m doing.

    I have unblocked him on instagram but not followed him, and my account is (and will remain) private. So, he can’t see my account and I can see his. I’d really rather not follow him, because truth be told, I don’t have expectations that things will ever work out for him and I. I of course miss him and want to be with him, but if he has commitment issues, then no amount chasing after him will change that right now. I deserve better and don’t want to get hurt.

    I guess this is where I really need EBR advice. Do I follow him? Does that seem stupid/desperate/too soon/awkward? I’m trying to think very long-term here. Should I text him again in a week or so? Should I build rapport before following him? What do I do?!! I especially fear that I could follow him and he may not request to follow me back. I think I would rather continue texting once in a while (I’m taking things particularly slow because he scares quite easy, and I don’t want to get my hopes up), and then if things are definitely more comfortable in the future, I’d consider following him. There’s always a small chance he’ll notice that I unblocked him and request to follow me first?

    Any advice at all would be excellent here. I’ve managed to come this far, it seems a huge waste to abandon ship at this point. I don’t have anything to lose here, I’m sure it’s over between us, and I’ll be just fine if it is, I know that. But if he does ever regret his decision, I want him to feel comfortable talking to me about it!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 14, 2019 at 9:28 pm

      Hi J, so it really depends on what you want. If you want to follow the EBR process then you need to reach out again and have hopefully the same positive short conversation but a little longer than 3 texts… and so on. I would NOT do anything social media wise until you are texting more naturally or if he decides to start following out again then I would than follow his page in return. But for now keep to the texts

  16. Avatar

    Kassandra

    December 7, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    Dear Chris; dear Shaunna,

    My ex blocked me as a reaction to a farewell message I sent him: I told him that I’d unfollow/unfriend because I’m trying to move on. He reacted by blocking me on Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp. That was the 3rd week of October. We emailed once a week for about 3 weeks until mid-November. In our first email exchange, I apologised for the farewell message and owned up that I wrote it in a very emotional moment.

    I looked into Instagram’s privacy settings. My account is public, so apparently he can still see my posts even though he blocked me. I’ve kept posting about my hobbies and activities as usual. I changed my gmail and Facebook profile pics to a selfie that I think speaks of deepening confidence (he always said I’m way too insecure). I genuinely feel good about that photo, but I can’t tell if he’s checked up on me or not.

    This is the end of my 3rd week of No Contact. Does anything in this article apply to him and why he went so far as to block me?

    PS. I described my situation under another article, so I don’t want to repeat it here (Kassandra, posted 21 Nov. 2019):
    https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/when-not-to-use-the-no-contact-rule-on-your-ex-boyfriend/

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 8, 2019 at 11:37 pm

      Hi Kassandra, so if your ex thinks you are too insecure then you need to show how you are very secure in yourself and that is doing things that appear Ungetttbale. So doing work on yourself and posting how great youre doing with your life is best way to go. For your ex to block you it would be the fact they feel the need to have space from you and that you were not going to give them that. Sending emotional messages are not part of the program so you are going to have to avoid doing anything like that after no contact

  17. Avatar

    marcia

    December 7, 2019 at 12:02 am

    Hello to the Chris Seiter dream team!!!

    My ex just re-appeared! After 1 year of ignoring my messages, I sent him this: ”finally I have a confession to make, please whenever you have time, open my fb chat”. Suddenly, 15 minutes later, I see a message from him, sent on a seperate thread marked ”secret, encrypted message”, where the chat warns me ”this message will be automatically deleted 10 seconds after reading”. I open the message and it said ”hello!”. That was all. Then his text dissappeared and the space was blank. I understand you can put a timer, and choose for how long you want the message to stay visible, anything from 10 secs, to 1 day. He put a timer for 10 secs. Just to say ”hello” then ghost. How weird!

    I didn’t reply anything, because I don’t want my message to be automatically deleted in 10 secs. One hour later, I see he blocked me on that secret conversation thread as well and I can no longer reply.

    Does this look to you like someone playing games, hiding, re-appearing, re-blocking. Or could he be married. What else could such a behavior be! If after 1 year of no contact I am still worth playing games, is this a good sign? I feel so entertained!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 8, 2019 at 10:33 pm

      Hi Marcia, your ex may have blocked you as you sent the text asking him to go onto fb messenger and then ignored his message. Rather than games I think its a failed attempt of communication

  18. Avatar

    Na

    December 4, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    Hi

    I have been dating/texting this guy for >2 years.. we met for less than 15 times as he was too busy with work. 8 months later he was also then attached overseas for work.

    Recently he block me.. because i miss him alot and kept annoying him – asking when will he be back, if he could at least give me a 5 mins call.. Worst, I stupidly went to say I have others guys who want me.. this is when he said “nevermind, you can go for other guys. Ok bye” and blocked me.

    I panicked and use other sim card to text him and he blocked me everywhere.

    Up till today, it has been 2 weeks since he blocked me..

    He is a nice guy, guess I am too temperamental.. How could I get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 4, 2019 at 10:40 pm

      Hey Na, so the best chance to get your ex back is to follow the process starting with no contact and then building up your connection with them again

  19. Avatar

    marcia

    November 30, 2019 at 9:08 pm

    Ah, my ex doesn’t ever unblock my messages, I tried again sending a message, and still it won’t go through. So, there is no way I can message him and send him the letter of closure that I have prepared, or a friendly message, or anything at all…

    So, I went to one of his public photos in facebook and posted a jolly sticker underneath. Just to remind him I exist, and am not angry. Definitely he saw it. He didn’t react to it with a like, but he didn’t delete it either. But we all know, that you do get a notification when someone adds a sticker on your photo!

    So he is openly ignoring me. As if he is in a coma for 1 year, or he moved to Mars. He should go a step forward and block me fully! One year on ”message ignore” and I still can’t understand his reasons. Just a big ”why” floats in my head and I am crying…. Chris says we should forget someone after 8 months… Should I block him I wonder? But no! That will prove my hurting. I won’t give him that satisfaction. Also, we are connected on Instagram, and I don’t want to block him everywhere. I want to keep tabs on him – I am curious to see if scared men really move to Mars 🙂

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 1, 2019 at 1:02 am

      Hi Marcia, if you are still this upset about being partially blocked after 12 months of being apart I suggest you do some work on becoming Ungettable and maybe consider therapy to help you with your emotions on how to move past whats happened in the past

  20. Avatar

    Jennifer

    November 27, 2019 at 5:05 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me last Tuesday and haven’t spoke since last Friday. We were together for 2 months and then BAM it’s over and it’s mainly about me hanging up on him a few times when I did it like what he had to say, apparently I was getting mad when he was expressing his feelings and now he blocked me on Facebook and that is it. Is there a chance for us to get back together after the NC is up or should I move on

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 28, 2019 at 9:49 pm

      Hey Jennifer, so following the program is giving yourself your best chance. In the mean time I would look at how to communicate healthily during a relationship

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