EBR 058: Why He Really Broke Up With You…

“How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.” W. Somerset Maugham

It is said that when one goes through a breakup they go through a withdrawal period. Similar to that of a drug addict. It is also said that some breakups can be so devastating that you can feel a sharp pain in your chest. Similar to that of an heart attack.

Here’s my point.

Going through a breakup is not easy. Which is why I make an active effort to help out as many people as I can through this website.

That’s where McKensie comes into play.

You see, McKensie is fresh off a very painful breakup and finds herself at a point where she just wants answers for what the hell happened in her situation.

And that’s what this episode is all about.

Providing her with those answers!

I prepped for this episode for an hour before recording it because I really wanted to have something insightful to say since McKensie’s situation is pretty complex.

Enjoy!

Video For Episode 58 (Why He Really Broke Up With You…)

How are the videos coming along in your opinion?

Slowly but surely the “Ex Recovery Headquarters” is coming to fruition. If you couldn’t tell we got this epic glass dry erase board with our logo etched into it,

glass-dry-erase-board

Plus a pretty awesome logo sign so we have a more professional look around the office,

logo

Honestly, I can’t wait until it’s done!

But enough of that. You probably want to hear about McKensie’s situation!

McKensie’s Situation

  • She is currently on day 9 of the no contact rule
  • She dated her ex boyfriend for a total of 9 weeks
  • Both of them were 28 years old
  • They got serious very quickly
  • She was the first girl that he had ever introduced to his family (not sure I buy that completely)
  • A few weeks after introducing her to his family he started acting weird
  • He started saying “things just aren’t right” and broke up with her
  • He removed photos of them on Facebook but left a few of her where she was tagged in but didn’t actually appear in
  • Two weeks into dating he picked up two new roommates who were 22 and 23 years old
  • He recently tested positive for a heart mutation
  • Also, his workload is crazy

What We Talk About In This Episode

  • The role of him testing positive for a heart mutation played in the breakup
  • The “roommate factor”
  • Why his workload is an important aspect to look at
  • Taking Facebook pictures down is a common practice
  • Not to read too much into the Facebook pictures
  • GIGS
  • Becoming the best version of yourself
  • Do things that make YOU feel good

Important Links Mentioned In This Episode

Transcript For Episode 58

Click Here To Download The Transcript For Episode 58

 

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

Leave a Reply

92 Comments on "EBR 058: Why He Really Broke Up With You…"

avatar
  Subscribe  
newest oldest
Notify of
Amy
Guest
Ive been reaaally confused with my ex’s behaviour before our break up. He changed overnight. We had an amazing 8 month relationship. He was super affectionate and just perfect. However he did tell me that he has never been the affectionate type and so he said that i must be really special bcs i could bring out that side of him. He said he used to be selfish and never wanted to commit into a relationship but after meeting me he said he changed. He always said i bring out the positive side of him and made him a better… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Amy,

maybe he waa really pissed.. dont chase.. let him cool down during your no contact period while improving yourself

Amy
Guest
Ive been reaaally confused with my ex’s behaviour before our break up. He changed overnight. We had an amazing 8 month relationship. He was super affectionate and just perfect. However he did tell me that he has never been the affectionate type and so he said that i must be really special bcs i could bring out that side of him. He said he used to be selfish and never wanted to commit into a relationship but after meeting me he said he changed. He always said i bring out the positive side of him and made him a better… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Amy,

maybe he waa really pissed.. dont chase.. let him cool down during your no contact period while improving yourself

lei
Guest

my boyfriend for 6 years broke up with me and the reason why is because im too attached on him which is me from the beginning of our relationship then why all of a sudden it was his issue and he said that he need space and if we were meant to be then we are.. but he said that i can still call or text him whenever i wanted and we can have a small talk.. that third party is not the reason.. what im i going to do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lei,

I think he meant you’re needy clingy..do you want to try the no
contact rule?

lei
Guest

my boyfriend for 6 years broke up with me and the reason why is because im too attached on him which is me from the beginning of our relationship then why all of a sudden it was his issue and he said that he need space and if we were meant to be then we are.. but he said that i can still call or text him whenever i wanted and we can have a small talk.. that third party is not the reason.. what im i going to do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lei,

I think he meant you’re needy clingy..do you want to try the no
contact rule?

Anon
Guest
Hi, My ex and I broke up almost a month and a half ago (he broke up with me). I completed no contact (for a little over a month) – did not talk to him, got a new hairstyle, kept busy, etc. A couple days ago, he came by to give me my things back. We talked for a couple of hours. And he revealed that he broke up with me because he didn’t feel that initial excitement anymore. He said that our relationship was good, but just didn’t feel as good as it did in the beginning (we dated… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anon,

I agree.. try that.

Anon
Guest
Hi, My ex and I broke up almost a month and a half ago (he broke up with me). I completed no contact (for a little over a month) – did not talk to him, got a new hairstyle, kept busy, etc. A couple days ago, he came by to give me my things back. We talked for a couple of hours. And he revealed that he broke up with me because he didn’t feel that initial excitement anymore. He said that our relationship was good, but just didn’t feel as good as it did in the beginning (we dated… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anon,

I agree.. try that.

Jessica
Guest

Hi Amor,
I was broken up with a few days ago. It wasn’t much of a shock, he has been very busy and rarely had time to be together. He said it wasn’t fair to me for him to be busy all of the (trying to get his life on track) while I’m wondering what he is doing. Before he got busy, our relationship was amazing. We got along great and had many of the same likes and dislikes. We haven’t spoken since the breakup and I’m starting to lose hope. What do I do?
Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jessica,

do you want to try to do the no contact rule?

Jessica
Guest

Hi Amor,
I was broken up with a few days ago. It wasn’t much of a shock, he has been very busy and rarely had time to be together. He said it wasn’t fair to me for him to be busy all of the (trying to get his life on track) while I’m wondering what he is doing. Before he got busy, our relationship was amazing. We got along great and had many of the same likes and dislikes. We haven’t spoken since the breakup and I’m starting to lose hope. What do I do?
Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jessica,

do you want to try to do the no contact rule?

Kate
Guest
I became a member 18 hours ago. So far the e-book and guide has calmed me down a LOT. But I have a unique situation. Please help I am ABOUT to be broken up with. It will happen after 9pm this Wednesday. It is 954 am Tuesday. In 35 hours he wants to meet me to break up (he has pretty much done this already over two emails [out of nowhere], a weeks time of communication silence). I need guidance to be able to use my e-book and all its components after this is done Wednesday nite. I want to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kate,
I edited your comment because we don’t make private emails public unless you want other commenters to email you too. I suppose you already talked? How was it?

Kate
Guest
I became a member 18 hours ago. So far the e-book and guide has calmed me down a LOT. But I have a unique situation. Please help I am ABOUT to be broken up with. It will happen after 9pm this Wednesday. It is 954 am Tuesday. In 35 hours he wants to meet me to break up (he has pretty much done this already over two emails [out of nowhere], a weeks time of communication silence). I need guidance to be able to use my e-book and all its components after this is done Wednesday nite. I want to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kate,
I edited your comment because we don’t make private emails public unless you want other commenters to email you too. I suppose you already talked? How was it?

Jots
Guest
I have this long distance relationship of 2 years. I live in philippines and he is in the US. We never met personally. My ex broke up with me because i was clingy, possessive and annoying. (We broke up many times because of this) I kept blowing up his phone and we kept on fighting. After that one fight, he just went cold and distant. He unfriended me on facebook. So after a lot of bargaining, he took me back, saying we need to manage our anger better. He went cold and distant ever since. He replies less and less… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jots,

It’s not as high as a normal break up and it will take longer because you really have to change genuinely.. At first, he would probably think that you’re just making it appear that you have changed so, it has to take time for him to think that you have really changed, not because you want him back but because you really changed

Jots
Guest
I have this long distance relationship of 2 years. I live in philippines and he is in the US. We never met personally. My ex broke up with me because i was clingy, possessive and annoying. (We broke up many times because of this) I kept blowing up his phone and we kept on fighting. After that one fight, he just went cold and distant. He unfriended me on facebook. So after a lot of bargaining, he took me back, saying we need to manage our anger better. He went cold and distant ever since. He replies less and less… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jots,

It’s not as high as a normal break up and it will take longer because you really have to change genuinely.. At first, he would probably think that you’re just making it appear that you have changed so, it has to take time for him to think that you have really changed, not because you want him back but because you really changed

Bianca
Guest
my ex boyfriend broke up with me over text our relationship lasted 7 months and we are both 17. but during that time his family had no idea about me and ended our relationship because of the fact of having no time we saw each-other but often like once or twice a week but due to school and his dedication to soccer and his family not knowing about me it was difficult to plan things. during the break up i felt like none of my questions were being answered or they would be bland like “we never used to see… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bianca,

I think he was just pissed.. Give him space.. trt doing no contact for 21 days

Bianca
Guest
my ex boyfriend broke up with me over text our relationship lasted 7 months and we are both 17. but during that time his family had no idea about me and ended our relationship because of the fact of having no time we saw each-other but often like once or twice a week but due to school and his dedication to soccer and his family not knowing about me it was difficult to plan things. during the break up i felt like none of my questions were being answered or they would be bland like “we never used to see… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bianca,

I think he was just pissed.. Give him space.. trt doing no contact for 21 days

Hope
Guest
Hi..my boyfriend is 24 and I am 22 and we have a son together, the thing is we always fight and minor things turn to be major so he recently broke up with me and told me that he doesn’t wana be with me anymore, I don’t make him happy and he doesn’t have a vision of us being happy anymore him and I are done for good..The thing is I love him alot and I want to make things work with him, I want us to be matured enough to talk and work things out but he tells me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hope,

do you live together? And do you want to do minimal contact?

Hope
Guest
Hi..my boyfriend is 24 and I am 22 and we have a son together, the thing is we always fight and minor things turn to be major so he recently broke up with me and told me that he doesn’t wana be with me anymore, I don’t make him happy and he doesn’t have a vision of us being happy anymore him and I are done for good..The thing is I love him alot and I want to make things work with him, I want us to be matured enough to talk and work things out but he tells me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hope,

do you live together? And do you want to do minimal contact?

Denee R
Guest
Hello, I have a rather complicated story about my relationship. Well I’ll start with he was with someone else when I met him. I saw something in him that I never saw in anyone it was like tunnel vision the moment I saw him… (That wasn’t the case for him he told me he didn’t think we’d even make it to a relationship). A year goes by, he fell in love with another woman after his break up with his current girl but in the end he chose me( that means something right) it started off rough from day 1… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Denee R,

yeah, it was not a good start. How old are you both and where does he live now? And yes, I think you should do atleast 30 days of no contact

Sad :(
Guest
I just need to vent 🙁 🙁 🙁 I was with my ex for 5 years, it was a whirlwind but amazing. The first time we seriously broke up, he moved interstate (which I encouraged him to do for multiple reasons). We did fight quite a bit throughout our relationship…. He said he needed to be free, he’s struggled with the thought of commitment even though we were doing it. It broke my heart, I was extremely sick. He wanted to stay in contact with me, but at one point it just hurt too much. So I stopped replying to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sad,
nope, you’re not.
But you restarted the wrong way. Don’t ever be friends with benefits again.. if you are going to reconnect someday, start slowly. Improve yourself first, experience new things, be more rational, be a new person. And then start as friends only, slowly building rapport and attraction. Don’t sleep with him if you’re not really together.

Denee R
Guest
Hello, I have a rather complicated story about my relationship. Well I’ll start with he was with someone else when I met him. I saw something in him that I never saw in anyone it was like tunnel vision the moment I saw him… (That wasn’t the case for him he told me he didn’t think we’d even make it to a relationship). A year goes by, he fell in love with another woman after his break up with his current girl but in the end he chose me( that means something right) it started off rough from day 1… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Denee R,

yeah, it was not a good start. How old are you both and where does he live now? And yes, I think you should do atleast 30 days of no contact

Sad :(
Guest
I just need to vent 🙁 🙁 🙁 I was with my ex for 5 years, it was a whirlwind but amazing. The first time we seriously broke up, he moved interstate (which I encouraged him to do for multiple reasons). We did fight quite a bit throughout our relationship…. He said he needed to be free, he’s struggled with the thought of commitment even though we were doing it. It broke my heart, I was extremely sick. He wanted to stay in contact with me, but at one point it just hurt too much. So I stopped replying to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sad,
nope, you’re not.
But you restarted the wrong way. Don’t ever be friends with benefits again.. if you are going to reconnect someday, start slowly. Improve yourself first, experience new things, be more rational, be a new person. And then start as friends only, slowly building rapport and attraction. Don’t sleep with him if you’re not really together.

Mary
Guest
My bf broke up with me via text..and said some very vicious things. About why this wouldn’t work and it came out of the blue! Stupid things like my dog wears diapers and our pheromones weren’t compatible among others. I have had no contact for almost three weeks and although I want answers I am doing my best to wait , thinking I may have to go 45….but it is really hitting me this week. How do I stay strong? He will definitely need to contact me with several good texts b4 I respond as this was totally unacceptable. I’m… Read more »
Mary
Guest

I should also tell you that 3 weeks ago he was talking about buying a house together?…???

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mary,

how long were together and how old are you both? Have you started improving yourself and making a new routine that you will continue even after nc? Have you met new people and made new friends?

Mary
Guest
We have been together off and on for almost a year, are in our late 50’s. I am tying to get out more and do some different things but finds are limited so invitations from friends are often turned down as I can’t afford to go out to dinner or concerts or drinks very often, maybe once a month if I’m lucky.mimwant to tak dance lessons or ride horses again . If my monetary situation changes that is my plan but I don’t see thT changing any time soon. I do have an old friend who has been taking me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Maybe he’s just really stressed out at work.. but also, I don’t think he’s telling the real reason why he broke up with you.. It’s either he is stressed, got tired or the relationship or something else.. So, I do agree that you should do 45 days.. If you’re on and off was it always weird reasons?

Maryc
Guest
Well i found out that he had an old girlfriend show up and apparently she wants him back. I think he’s confused about what he wants and that coupled with the work stress has made him crazy. I am sticking to 45 days and will send the made mes think of you text and see what happens. In the meantime it is hard as I haven’t heard a word from him. Seems strange since he wanted us to buy a house together and now nothing. How do men just disappear like that and forget you? I like the country song… Read more »
Maryc
Guest

Is it normal to not hear from them for the 30-45 day no contact period? It’s been three weeks and I’ve heard nothing….
Thank you again for your help.

Maryc
Guest

Don’t forget me…….

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

dont worryI didnt! I answer all comments. 🙂 it depends on the situation but if he is busy or confused, then he will really take his time to think too.. That’s good that you chose yourself.. be active in improving yourself and do new things

Hayden Blake
Guest

In pain wanna know why. EX boyfriend hurt me badly

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hayden,

why did you break up? HOw long were you together and how old are you both?

Hayden Blake
Guest

In pain wanna know why.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hayden,

why did you break up? HOw long were you together and how old are you both?

Mary
Guest
My bf broke up with me via text..and said some very vicious things. About why this wouldn’t work and it came out of the blue! Stupid things like my dog wears diapers and our pheromones weren’t compatible among others. I have had no contact for almost three weeks and although I want answers I am doing my best to wait , thinking I may have to go 45….but it is really hitting me this week. How do I stay strong? He will definitely need to contact me with several good texts b4 I respond as this was totally unacceptable. I’m… Read more »
Mary
Guest

I should also tell you that 3 weeks ago he was talking about buying a house together?…???

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mary,

how long were together and how old are you both? Have you started improving yourself and making a new routine that you will continue even after nc? Have you met new people and made new friends?

Mary
Guest
We have been together off and on for almost a year, are in our late 50’s. I am tying to get out more and do some different things but finds are limited so invitations from friends are often turned down as I can’t afford to go out to dinner or concerts or drinks very often, maybe once a month if I’m lucky.mimwant to tak dance lessons or ride horses again . If my monetary situation changes that is my plan but I don’t see thT changing any time soon. I do have an old friend who has been taking me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Maybe he’s just really stressed out at work.. but also, I don’t think he’s telling the real reason why he broke up with you.. It’s either he is stressed, got tired or the relationship or something else.. So, I do agree that you should do 45 days.. If you’re on and off was it always weird reasons?

Maryc
Guest
Well i found out that he had an old girlfriend show up and apparently she wants him back. I think he’s confused about what he wants and that coupled with the work stress has made him crazy. I am sticking to 45 days and will send the made mes think of you text and see what happens. In the meantime it is hard as I haven’t heard a word from him. Seems strange since he wanted us to buy a house together and now nothing. How do men just disappear like that and forget you? I like the country song… Read more »
Maryc
Guest

Is it normal to not hear from them for the 30-45 day no contact period? It’s been three weeks and I’ve heard nothing….
Thank you again for your help.

Maryc
Guest

Don’t forget me…….

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

dont worryI didnt! I answer all comments. 🙂 it depends on the situation but if he is busy or confused, then he will really take his time to think too.. That’s good that you chose yourself.. be active in improving yourself and do new things

Hayden Blake
Guest

In pain wanna know why. EX boyfriend hurt me badly

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hayden,

why did you break up? HOw long were you together and how old are you both?

Hayden Blake
Guest

In pain wanna know why.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hayden,

why did you break up? HOw long were you together and how old are you both?

Melanie
Guest

I just don’t want him to move on and never want me back again alot has happened but I do think we can recover and make things better should i contact him after 45days and tell him how I feel? thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

No, Melanie. It’s a restart. You would sound like you’re proposing marriage to someone you don’t know.Treat it like a restart.. Just be friendly and slowly build rapport.

Melanie
Guest

I just don’t want him to move on and never want me back again alot has happened but I do think we can recover and make things better should i contact him after 45days and tell him how I feel? thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

No, Melanie. It’s a restart. You would sound like you’re proposing marriage to someone you don’t know.Treat it like a restart.. Just be friendly and slowly build rapport.

Imogen Gibbins
Guest
Hey 🙂 this is my question. Both me and my ex boyfriend are 18. We broke up just over a week ago because he said the spark is gone. We’ve talked almost every day since. Last night I saw him at a bar (we’re in the same friendship group). We talked for most if the night, played darts together and pool. He said he wants to take things slow and see if the spark comes back. Next week we’re going to an aquarium and spending most of the day together. Does this sound hopeful or should I give up? And… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Imogen,
it looks like you have a chance, it just got boring for him.. dont be too avaialble.. look your best but dont be all over him.. be a little distant bj5 whenever he talks to you make it fun

Jessica
Guest
My boyfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago. He said he just lost control of his life and that I made him feel immasculated because of a lack of intimacy-which I was working on. He told me that, because of me, he lost confidence in every aspect of life. None of these things he ever discussed with me, besides the intimacy. Because of past relationships, intimacy wasn’t always comfortable to me, and he never seemed to understand it, and would get mad and claim that, “he shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistakes.” I always… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hi Jessica, well, I dont understand because it looks like he should be the one who’s regretting the break up because it seems like, you’re the better catch compared to him.. He lived with you and he didnt ever work.. Shouldnt he be the one worrying about you finding a better guy? but anyways, was the lack of intimacy consistent in those 5 years or was it just after you had a full time work? Even if you committed the 7 mistakes, you can still try doing the 30 days nc.. I think you should do it so you can… Read more »
Jessica
Guest
It was a consistent thing throughout the 5 years. I had an ex before him that forced me into sex for years before I met my current one. Because of it, I’ve had an issue with intimacy. One that I tried to explain to him, multiple times. He would always get mad and say, “I shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistake.” It wasn’t a mistake, though. It was abuse. Traumatizing abuse. From someone who was supposed to love me. And, instead of him trying to understand it and help me feel more comfortable and help me through those… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You know, the nc won’t fix anything. It’s just a tool to help you fix what you need to fix. I’m not putting all the blame on you because honestly, if he didn’t work and he lived with you, of course he would have nothing to think about doing with you but just sex.. it’s not healthy. But you can only change and your control yourself. Change you first, because you take yourself in every relationship. I think you should be in continuous therapy for what happened to you. Not for a relationship to work but for your health.

Jessica
Guest
I’m definitely looking into therapy. But, I had a definite slip up. I had seen that he started following his ex on Instagram and it really upset me. It’s petty, I know. But he told me throughout our entire relationship how much he didn’t care for her because their relationship was do toxic. So, just out of a moment of anger, I followed her back. As did she. I think he saw that she had liked a few pictures of mine and then he unfollowed me and made it so I wasn’t following him anymore. I, instantly, was super regretful… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Well, you shouldn’t really be mentioning doing nc to him.. And don’t check his posts, don’t unfollow the other girl, and keep doing no contact.. Yes, your actions did affect your chances but what’s done is done.. focus now on making it seem that you have really moved on so, that you can have a chance of starting over as friends again later on.

Imogen Gibbins
Guest
Hey 🙂 this is my question. Both me and my ex boyfriend are 18. We broke up just over a week ago because he said the spark is gone. We’ve talked almost every day since. Last night I saw him at a bar (we’re in the same friendship group). We talked for most if the night, played darts together and pool. He said he wants to take things slow and see if the spark comes back. Next week we’re going to an aquarium and spending most of the day together. Does this sound hopeful or should I give up? And… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Imogen,
it looks like you have a chance, it just got boring for him.. dont be too avaialble.. look your best but dont be all over him.. be a little distant bj5 whenever he talks to you make it fun

Jessica
Guest
My boyfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago. He said he just lost control of his life and that I made him feel immasculated because of a lack of intimacy-which I was working on. He told me that, because of me, he lost confidence in every aspect of life. None of these things he ever discussed with me, besides the intimacy. Because of past relationships, intimacy wasn’t always comfortable to me, and he never seemed to understand it, and would get mad and claim that, “he shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistakes.” I always… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hi Jessica, well, I dont understand because it looks like he should be the one who’s regretting the break up because it seems like, you’re the better catch compared to him.. He lived with you and he didnt ever work.. Shouldnt he be the one worrying about you finding a better guy? but anyways, was the lack of intimacy consistent in those 5 years or was it just after you had a full time work? Even if you committed the 7 mistakes, you can still try doing the 30 days nc.. I think you should do it so you can… Read more »
Jessica
Guest
It was a consistent thing throughout the 5 years. I had an ex before him that forced me into sex for years before I met my current one. Because of it, I’ve had an issue with intimacy. One that I tried to explain to him, multiple times. He would always get mad and say, “I shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistake.” It wasn’t a mistake, though. It was abuse. Traumatizing abuse. From someone who was supposed to love me. And, instead of him trying to understand it and help me feel more comfortable and help me through those… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You know, the nc won’t fix anything. It’s just a tool to help you fix what you need to fix. I’m not putting all the blame on you because honestly, if he didn’t work and he lived with you, of course he would have nothing to think about doing with you but just sex.. it’s not healthy. But you can only change and your control yourself. Change you first, because you take yourself in every relationship. I think you should be in continuous therapy for what happened to you. Not for a relationship to work but for your health.

Jessica
Guest
I’m definitely looking into therapy. But, I had a definite slip up. I had seen that he started following his ex on Instagram and it really upset me. It’s petty, I know. But he told me throughout our entire relationship how much he didn’t care for her because their relationship was do toxic. So, just out of a moment of anger, I followed her back. As did she. I think he saw that she had liked a few pictures of mine and then he unfollowed me and made it so I wasn’t following him anymore. I, instantly, was super regretful… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Well, you shouldn’t really be mentioning doing nc to him.. And don’t check his posts, don’t unfollow the other girl, and keep doing no contact.. Yes, your actions did affect your chances but what’s done is done.. focus now on making it seem that you have really moved on so, that you can have a chance of starting over as friends again later on.

Melanie
Guest

My boyfriend.left.me after a misscarriage the next day he said that he never felt this way about.anyone and.he would always love me but too much had happened and he needed space he was in a bad place our relationship was good and I felt he was the only one for me. We have been broke up for a month and haven’t spoke in two weeks he messaged to get his things back. I want him back but feel it’s too late.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Melanie,

I think he needs time to heal from everything. I don’t think it’s a good idea to confess what you feel right away, especially right after nc.. Do 45 days and heal too. Improve and make a new routine, so that you and him can be given a chance to have a restart as friends again

Hayden Blake
Guest

NEVER too late for love. If I had a chance to I would take my ex back in a heartbeat.

Melanie
Guest

My boyfriend.left.me after a misscarriage the next day he said that he never felt this way about.anyone and.he would always love me but too much had happened and he needed space he was in a bad place our relationship was good and I felt he was the only one for me. We have been broke up for a month and haven’t spoke in two weeks he messaged to get his things back. I want him back but feel it’s too late.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Melanie,

I think he needs time to heal from everything. I don’t think it’s a good idea to confess what you feel right away, especially right after nc.. Do 45 days and heal too. Improve and make a new routine, so that you and him can be given a chance to have a restart as friends again

Hayden Blake
Guest

NEVER too late for love. If I had a chance to I would take my ex back in a heartbeat.