There is a rule when it comes to breakups.

Everyone always chooses a side.

That’s just the way it is.

Your exes friends and family will be on his side and your friends and family will be on your side. Often times your loved ones will give you these patented speeches,

“You are better off without him.”

“I never liked him anyways.”

“Now we can have fun being single.”

It’s funny, I will never forget the time that I went through my very first breakup. My best friend ended up showing up at my house and taking me out for the day to try to make me feel better. He must have given me the speeches above about twenty times. When word finally got around to my parents my dad ended up sitting me down and explaining that I was still young and I was going to find someone better down the road.

(P.S. He was right.)

My mother on the other hand told me that I was the most handsome person she knew and any girl would be lucky to have me….

(P.S. She was right.)

😉

It was at this moment that I began to realize that troops were beginning to rally around me in order to offer their support.

Who were the troops?

My friends and family!

Of course, I wasn’t the only one who had troops rallying around them. No, my ex did as well.

The point I am trying to make here is pretty simple.

In every single breakup sides are chosen.

Now, this little tidbit of information is kind of what this whole article is going to be about. You see, the troops that rallied around you for support during your breakup with your ex boyfriend will be your greatest asset in overcoming the pain surrounding the breakup.

However, when it comes to getting an ex boyfriend back you may find that they are your greatest liability.

This article is all about how to handle that unfortunate situation.

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How Society Views Exes

Society has a very different view than you do about your ex boyfriend. I mean, this article pretty much assumes that you are trying to win your ex boyfriend back which of course means you view your ex boyfriend as someone you can fall in love with.

So, in order to understand the view that society (including many of your friends and family) takes on your ex boyfriend I want you to take a look at the picture below,

society and exes

I picked this picture for a number of reasons.

In general the picture is saying that if you read the same chapter in a book nothing new is ever going to happen. Thus, if we apply this logic to your ex boyfriend we can assume that if you get back with your ex boyfriend history is simply going to repeat itself with another breakup.

You will find that this is mostly societies view of breakups and exes.

You see, most people have a one and done approach.

“If it doesn’t work out with someone once then it can never work out.”

Well, this is simply not the case.

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The Flaw With Societies Logic

flaw

What have we learned so far?

Well, we learned that after every breakup people close to the couple are going to pick sides. Some people will gravitate towards you and some will gravitate towards your ex boyfriend. We also learned that society believes that nothing good can ever come from getting back with an ex.

(Remember, the picture with the book?)

Here is the truth…

Societies logic on this matter is flawed.

I have seen my fair share of breakups through this site and the thing that always amazes me is now how often that people get back together but it’s how often they stay together. Seriously, when I first started this site back in 2012 I knew I had the chops to teach women how to get back with their exes. I mean, come on, I know exactly how men work and what buttons to press to hook them. However, I didn’t really think many of the couples would end up together long term.

I was wrong…

A lot of the women who ended up getting their exes back as a result of this site are still with them to this day. Heck, I have even heard my fair share of proposal and marriage stories from these women too.

This tells me that sometimes an ex boyfriend is worth fighting for and people who tell you,

“Moving on is the best thing for you.”

Can sometimes be flat out wrong.

Speaking of these people…

What Many Of Your Friends And Family Think About You Getting Back With Your Ex Boyfriend

bad idea

I have some good news and some bad news.

What would you like to hear first?

The good news?

Your friends and family love you and they usually want the best for you. So, contrary to popular belief they do want to see you happy.

Ok, now it is time for the bad news.

In your friends and families minds they do not think that you can be happy with your ex boyfriend.

Remember what I said above about how society often thinks there is no hope for a couple who has broken up? Well, more often than not your friends and family are going to share that belief. So, it may not be to your advantage to let them in on your plans of getting your ex boyfriend back because they could fill your head up with more questions than answers.

Case Study: A Family Who Wouldn’t Support A Woman Trying To Get Her Ex Boyfriend Back

I am going to let you in on a pretty interesting situation that came to my attention in 2013, two years ago.

If you have ever stumbled across my, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO page you may have noticed a testimonial from a woman named Ashlee that kind of sticks out among the rest.

Why does it stick out?

Well, because this woman not only got her ex boyfriend back but she got him to marry her.

Here is the testimonial in case you are wondering,

Screen Shot 2015-01-20 at 11.12.41 AM

(Click The Picture To Enlarge)

Now, while Ashlee did get a very happy ending to her love story we can’t really learn anything from that so I want to take you back to the time where she and her ex boyfriend were broken up.

You see, Ashlee was absolutely head over heels for this guy and he broke up with her for some weird reason (to be honest I can’t remember because this literally happened like two years ago.) Anyways, what I do remember from the situation was how UN-supportive her family and friends were of her attempt to get back with her ex.

They would tell her things like,

“It will never work out between you two…”

or

“Once an ex, always an ex…”

or

“I really think you should move on…”

Ashlee was very upset with her friends and family for how they were acting and it was starting to get to her. In fact, it was starting to bug her so much that she contemplated just giving up altogether on her ex boyfriend.

She asked me the question that 50% of the women ask me on this site every single day.

“Is it worth it? Do I even have a chance? Should I just give up?”

I spurred her on and gave her a little confidence to keep going forward but as confident as I made her about her ex boyfriend her friends and family were always there to thwart my progress with her. Fortunately, Ashlee was still deeply in love with her ex boyfriend so anything that her friends and family did say to her went in one ear and out the other.

It took her a while but she ended up getting her boyfriend back and then a few months later he proposed. They have now been married since late 2013.

So, what was the point of me telling you this little case study?

Well, even though a lot of people out there (I am looking at you friends and family) believe that exes should stay exes the truth is that a lot of times a relationship is worth fighting for.

This is a prime example of that.

Imagine if Ashlee had listened to her friends who told her to not go after her ex. How about her family who told her that he was not worth it?

Well, if she had done that then she probably wouldn’t be married I can tell you that much.

How To Handle Friends And Family Who Disapprove

disapprove turtle

I am going to be bold here for a minute.

If you are trying to get your ex boyfriend back and you make that knowledge available to your inner circle (friends, family, co-workers, etc) there is going to be at least one person that is going to disapprove and try to talk you out of it.

Whether or not you listen to them is entirely up to you. However, since my main function through this site is to help you get your ex boyfriend back I am going to talk a little bit about what you need to do to smooth things over so that you can set yourself up for a successful “get your ex back” campaign.

Should You Tell Anyone That You Are Trying To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

This is kind of a tough question to answer if I am being completely honest.

Why?

Well, because if you talk to your friends and family about your desire to get your ex boyfriend back and they get on board with you then not only will you have the support of Ex Boyfriend Recovery to fall back on but theirs as well and that can do wonders for your confidence.

However, if they don’t approve…

Well, then things become more complicated and it can put you at odds with them since technically they will be trying to derail your progress by constantly telling you that its not worth it to get your ex back.

So, do you tell people or not?

I think in order to answer this question we should take a look at what women with successful “get your ex back”campaigns have done.

What Successful Women Have Done

I have had some unique experiences interacting with women in this instance.

In fact, I have had some unique experiences interacting with mothers. No seriously, a lot of times I will have moms messaging me and begging me for my advice to help their daughters get their ex boyfriends back. These particular experiences have always stuck out to me.

Why?

Well, firstly it’s because if a mom is going to go to that deep for her daughter to ask a complete stranger (ME) for help then that means that she is most likely the type of person that is going to help and support her daughter in what she wants.

Now, I don’t know about you but if I was trying to get an ex back that is the type of person that I would want in my corner.

So, if you have a member of your family or a friend that is willing to be that type of person for you that they would support you in your attempts to win back your ex then you could probably trust them enough to let them in on what your plans are.

However, if you have friends or family who you are unsure about then I would recommend not letting them in on your plans just yet.

FYI most successful women have one or two people that they can trust enough to tell their ambitions to.

Usually not more though.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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What To Do In A Situation Where Your Network Of Friends And Family Disapproves Of Your Intentions Of Getting Your Ex Back

ex boyfriend willy wonka

Lets assume a worst case scenario here.

Lets say that your friends and family absolutely hate your ex boyfriend and disapprove of your idea of getting him back. Your friends constantly berate you for even wanting to get back with him.

Your family on the other hand, well, they absolutely forbid it.

Of course, you want nothing more than to get your ex boyfriend back so you are really caught between a rock and a hard place.

How do you smooth the situation over with your friends and family so they aren’t impeding your progress?

Well, below I have come up with a couple of methods to prevent any backlash from friends and family about your ex.

Method One- Nipping It In The Bud Before It Happens

worst enemies

I have a great relationship with my family.

I would do anything for them and deep down they know that. However, when it came to my love life I never really consulted them as much as other people probably did. In fact, I would make a point to avoid that subject at all costs.

It’s not because I was being secretive or anything like that it was because I really didn’t want their help with my love life.

I always had a strong idea with how I wanted my love life to go and experience taught me from watching others that getting other people involved in your relationship other than the two people inside the relationship isn’t a great idea.

How did I come to this conclusion.

I have my very first girlfriend to thank for that.

Looking back she was a very nice girl but the thing that constantly turned me off about her were her parents. You see, she had the worst type of parents.

They were controlling, prying and essentially made all of her decisions for her.

Yup, oftentimes when we would have an argument over something her parents would find a way to get involved and then not only would I have to cry mercy to her but to her parents as well. In fact, it became so ridiculous at one point that her father actually called me up on the phone one morning and demanded that I drive over to his house and apologize to HIM after his daughter and I got into an argument the night before.

To my great shame… I did it.

Here is the weirdest part though when I asked him what he was angry at me for specifically he wouldn’t tell me.

These type of experiences taught me never to bring these types of outside forces into relationships. More often than not they do more harm than good. So, I recommend that before you attempt to get your ex boyfriend back you don’t let the entire world know.

Don’t let your parents in on your plans (unless you really trust them) and don’t let your friends in either (unless you really trust them.)

Nip it in the bud before it becomes a problem.

Unfortunately, some of you already opened your big mouths and no longer have the “nip it in the bud option.”

If you are one of these people then I would like you to take a look at method two below.

Method Two- Make An Effort To Understand Them And Then Do What You Want

no gif

By nature I am a people pleaser.

That means that if anyone disagrees with me or if someone isn’t going to support me it is going to hit me a little bit harder than the normal type of person out there. Another interesting thing about me is that I absolutely hate conflict.

Seriously, sometimes if I have a conflict with someone I love it affects me so much to where I can’t even do work or concentrate until that conflict is resolved.

What we are dealing with here is a pretty crappy situation in which your friends and family aren’t being supportive of your intentions to try to get your ex boyfriend back. So, lets do a little role playing here so I can illustrate method two properly for you.

Lets say that you tell your best friend that you stumbled across my website, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, and you picked up my E-Book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. After reading it’s amazing advice (I am a bit biased) you decide that you want to give a relationship with your ex boyfriend another try.

You go into this little conversation with your best friend with high hopes but they are immediately crushed when she says that your idea is dumb and that he isn’t worth your time.

It is at this point that you reach the proverbial fork in the road where you have two choices.

  1. You can agree with her and give up because you received a little push back
  2. You can ignore her push back and attempt to get your ex boyfriend back.

Now, most women who are set on getting their boyfriends back are going to do what they want and ignore their friends push back. However, the way you ignore that friends push back is very important.

For example, lets say you have an un-supportive friend who tells you that it is a dumb idea to try to get your ex boyfriend back. Well, if you immediately retaliate by saying,

“Well, your dumb for not supporting me.”

then you will be adding fuel to the fire and alienating your friend which will most likely make her not want to support you even more.

What is the proper way to handle this situation.

A famous quote immediately comes to mind here.

The actor, Robert Downey Jr. (AKA Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes and Charlie Chaplin) told an interesting story one time during an interview for a movie promotion.

rdj

He was once faced with a very tough situation. He was acting a scene a certain way and the director didn’t particularly like the way he was doing it. So, the director kept yelling,

“CUT!”

Once the scene was stopped the director walked over to Downey Jr. and gave him advice on how he thought the scene should be acted. It was at this point that Downey Jr. gave one of the most epic quotes of all time,

“Listen, smile, agree and then do whatever you were going to do anyway”

I envision this quote any time I hear about parents or friends giving women a hard time about wanting to get their ex boyfriends back. Sometimes, if you just make an effort to listen, smile, agree and then do whatever you want in the first place the entire situation will be smoothed over with your network.

What to Read Next

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208 thoughts on “How To Handle Friends And Family Who Disapprove Of You Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. Avatar

    Bailey

    October 26, 2020 at 4:57 pm

    Hi,
    I’m not sure if most people will be able to relate with me about my situation, but here goes. My ex and I were together for roughly six months. It was my first relationship, where I experienced a lot of firsts with him. It wasn’t a perfect relationship, but we did make each other happy, but around Dec ’19, he broke up with me and three weeks later he was with someone new. I was heartbroken of course, and determined to have him back. But after a month of us breaking up, I started to slowly move on. Around late March, when the pandemic got worse and we had to quarantine ourselves in our home, he reached out to me, begging for a second chance. I was hesitant at first because he had hurt me the worst way possible, but his words seemed sincere and so I decided to try and give it a go. And he was different, he was starting to enjoy the things I liked, and wanted to spend more time with me. He truly was becoming different than the person I knew before and I truly felt like I could give him a second chance.
    But my younger sister despises him with a passion, rightfully so. And I can’t tell you how many arguments we’ve gotten into about it, but we can never see eye to eye about it. My ex and I officially got back together in July but I kept that a secret from everyone except my best friend. It hasn’t been the easiest to go see him with the pandemic and my sister breathing down my back. Its starting to become unhealthy for me. One one hand I want to have a real relationship with this person, but I also want my sister to come to terms about it too. I’m completely torn in half. I don’t know what to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 28, 2020 at 4:34 am

      Hi Bailey, it is common that someone doesn’t like our exes when they have done something to hurt us. However, it is YOUR life. You need to keep in mind though if your boyfriend does something to upset you, hurt you, or you have a falling out. Your sister is not the person to go to to vent to, it is just going to reinforce her reasons for hating him. IF you and your boyfriend are strong and in a good place, I would suggest that you tell your sister that you have agreed to start dating him again, and you understand she is worried about you and does not like him right now, but understand that he makes you happy. She will either silently hate him for a long time, or she will learn to accept that you are together again.

  2. Avatar

    Alicia

    October 5, 2020 at 8:37 pm

    Hey there
    I broke up with my long time love, about 2 months ago.
    This break up pretty much was a build up, but initially started, because my love had bipolar disorder. Because of this, he would lose jobs, be depressed and not do anything to help, or would be going through manic states ruining a lot of things(ability to pay bills because he would be manic mode spending every penny on who knows what, etc) I never told anyone about this because he was pretty obvious about it and everyone on my side formed their own opinion about it.
    This last manic event was the worst I ever dealt with, and caused my family and friends to be afraid for me and my daughter(which my love never physically or mentally harmed us before) but this time he went crazy, threatened my dad not with direct threats but actions and was taking crazy.
    Everyone disliked him before any of that occurred, because, like I said he was obvious with all the roles of a bipolar person. Because of that, I kept our relationship a secret.
    So now that this blew up and everyone saw the explosion, they’ve told me they’d be done with me if I went back, never to help or talk to me again.
    Like you, I take this all on very harshly. I have panic attacks quit frequently, and have no one to confide to.
    It took about a month for the manic mode to stop, and I got to talk to my love, finally. What was the worst was the initial splitting up, because it was like I broke up with Mr. Hyde and desperately wanted to talk it out with Dr. Jekyll. So, I finally was able to talk with him, and we’re not living together, but we’re working things out.
    My daughter doesn’t totally disapprove, but she does if he’s not going to change, which, that’s what this whole now talking and working this out is supposed to be, so, add looking ads I’m not putting her in harm’s way, just like everyone else, there…they can keep their opinions.
    I dunno, I guess in just looking to someone besides prayers, to tell me it’s ok, and if it’s meant to be it’ll be…

  3. Avatar

    shanice

    September 15, 2020 at 2:03 am

    hi there, my boyfriend just brought up breaking up with me. he says the biggest issue is that his father and sister whom he stays with do not like me, and he tried to change their mind but he can’t. i’m aware of their personalities and they are both rather stubborn people, however i feel that this is unfair to me as i’ve never known of their feelings towards me and i’m not close to them at all. nevertheless he insists that he doesn’t think they will change their minds and that he knows them. we have a hi-bye relationship as they are both rather quiet and i’ve never known that they were so affected by it. i feel so wronged because i was never given the chance to even try to make amends. can i continue pursuing this matter? in trying to get him to at least give me a chance to better the relationship with them? or is there absolutely no hope? should i also talk to his mom (who’s fine with me) about this or would it be crossing the line?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 2, 2020 at 8:10 pm

      Hi Shanice, if he has already ended things with you then you need to go into a No Contact straight away, but if you are still together then you can speak with his mother and see if she can make him see that the issue with his father and sister is something that can hopefully be rectified.

  4. Avatar

    Millow

    August 23, 2020 at 4:41 pm

    Hi,

    I had a separation with my partner just 1 month ago and he already moved out from the apartment we lived in. I think he said because we both have our own problems(job pressure, both being emotional, staying at one place too long, my temper ) and for me, I worked from home alone too long and did not see ppl because of cover-19 and I developed very bad emotions. His family hated me like crazy because they said I hurt him a lot in mental but I cannot control the job pressure, place I live and other pressure that turned me into this kind of person. In short, if an ex’s family hated me, I think there is no future for us even though he didn’t hate me personally?, he just hated my parents too and he didn’t want to see them for life. So there is no chance for us to get back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 6, 2020 at 10:25 am

      Hey Millow I think the issue is that you have created this negative mindset, also being secluded during the pandemic has hurt a lot of peoples mental health. Your goal and focus right now should be getting into a positive mindset, seek some local therapy to help you work on your mindset and just generally have a better life. Follow the rules of No Contact for 45 days and then start reaching out to your ex if you are in a better mental place

  5. Avatar

    Jayne Gorman

    August 22, 2020 at 11:29 am

    I came across this site when I was devastated by my boyfriend of over 2 years who left me and, within a week, was ‘Facebook official’ with someone else.
    I read and read and read, most of the blogs on this site. It was a life saver.
    I started my no contact period and, trusting this site as I did, I completed 32 days at the first time of trying. I reached out to my ex, something about some mail that had been delivered to my house and he responded immediately.
    Within 2 days, he was pouring his heart out to me about our split nearly killing him, that he’d tried to replace me with a rebound and that he wanted to come back to me.
    I am still pinching myself that this is all happening. My boyfriend and I are back together!!
    I am now at the stage of reading about the disapproving family and friends because telling them is our next hurdle.
    Absolutely can’t thank this site enough. It has made my dream come true and I will now recommend it to anyone else going through a break up.
    I’m living proof that you can get back with your ex, even when he’s with someone else, and continue to make each other happy.
    Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 5, 2020 at 11:34 am

      Hi Jayne, so glad you found this website helpful! Good luck with telling the friends and family – they should be fine as its your happiness is all they want

  6. Avatar

    Milli Barrow

    August 2, 2020 at 9:29 pm

    Hi I split up with my ex about 6 months ago being three years on and off and I recently keep seeing him out at gatherings and he keeps showing me lots of attention but my family dislike him and don’t want me anywhere near him as we have had a tough relationship he hadn’t been the best but I feel it’s different and he does too but I have family members saying he’ll never change I need to stay away yet I can’t, please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 3, 2020 at 8:08 pm

      Hi Milli, giving that you are older than 18 I would suggest that you focus on what is going to make you happy. Your family will accept what you choose as long as the relationship is healthy and he does not mistreat you

  7. Avatar

    Maddi Ellis

    July 13, 2020 at 6:02 am

    Hi I really need advice. Me and my ex dated for a little over a year and then I got pregnant. Our relationship turned toxic because I was not myself and he wasn’t either and we were so stressed we took it out on eachother (i’m 18 so it was not planned). When i was 7 months pregnant he went on a date with another girl and lied to me about it. I broke up with him once i found out but obviously still loved him. I lost all my friends since I got pregnant so I decided to rant to my parents. They now HATE him and it’s been 6 months and we are trying to make things work again. My mom is my best friend and she is completely destroyed and so mad at me. This is my life and I want to be back with him but I don’t want my parents to disown me and hate my boyfriend for the past when I already forgave him.

  8. Avatar

    rabi ali

    July 8, 2020 at 6:34 am

    thanks so much, i’m wondering what to do in situations where you dragged your exes name through the dirt and now you have to deal with friends, friends of friends, classmates and family members hating him, and being a laughing stock because you were crapping all over his name and now you’re back with him, i’m in a tough situation, i was stupid though and just needed support by venting about all his mistakes, this made it look like he had no redeeming qualities. yikes

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 12, 2020 at 10:13 am

      In this situation you were expressing yourself emotionally to people you thought you could trust at the time, plus as Chris says, when emotions run high, logic runs low. So some of the venting would be taken lightly plus your friends and family should be happy for you, if you are happy regardless of who you get into a relationship with as long as its a healthy one

  9. Avatar

    Roni Stacey

    May 12, 2020 at 4:30 pm

    Hi,
    I split up with my ex of 7 years 4 months ago. Just over a week ago he messaged me out of the blue telling me how miserable he was without me in his life and I feel the same way, I tried dating another guy 2 months after we split but it didn’t feel right and I ended it. My family does not like my ex and I have even had the conversation with my own mother about it, she said if I get back with him then she will disown me… I love my ex and always will and I am so miserable without him
    What should I do??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 2:50 pm

      Hi Roni, this is difficult situation to be in but honestly it is YOUR life. So you need to decide if he is worth the risk and fall out with your family over him. Do you think he is going to treat you right and prove your family wrong about him? The reaction from your mother, coming from a mother, is going to be more about protecting you than not liking him. He has left and hurt you and he now wants to come back after you picking up the pieces. I would suggest that you take it very slowly with your ex and decide if he is in it for the long haul and if he is worth going through some troubled times with your mother.

  10. Avatar

    Andrea

    May 11, 2020 at 11:57 pm

    Hello,

    Please help me! I had been with my boyfriend for three years and we recently broke up. We had been a very strong couple for the time and we faced many obstacles together including a large part of our relationship being over long distance. There had been a few issues throughout until things started to get bad and we were fighting constantly. Throughout he didn’t have the best relationship with my family because he wouldn’t put in the effort my family expected (which at times can be excessive). My family is incredibly picky and often times only think about superficial qualities that aren’t my priority. My ex started being very selfish and not the best partner. I broke up with him still loving him. We had no contact for a month until we met up in person to talk about what had happened because we were apart when we broke up. I noticed he was very different and he was being genuine about being sorry for the way he treated me and I could see he was making a great effort to change and be a better person. He was incredibly respectful and mature about the situation which had surprised me. We are college students and we still live with our families which makes it difficult to be together without their consent. I know he wants to be with me and now I want to get back together with him but I’m terrified of having to tell my family because they will disapprove and it’ll sort of ruin the relationship. We already have our issues to work out through together adding my family would make it so much more difficult. What should I do!?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 11:54 pm

      Hi Andrea, I would suggest that if you want to get your ex back that you follow the program but avoid sharing with your family what you are planning on doing for a while so that they do not get involved.

  11. Avatar

    Theresa

    February 19, 2020 at 9:30 pm

    Hi,

    My ex and I have been on and off for 5 years. He has had a bad relationship with drink and drugs and when things get bad he calls things off because he can’t deal with the unhappiness and arguing between us. I always knew he has a problem and I have always wanted to help him. I saw so much potential. About 5 months ago he called things off again as his problems got bad again. But within 4 weeks he comes begging me back.. this time I thought it was really over so I explained the whole situation to all my family and friends. He realised he has an unhealthy problem with alcohol and drugs and has stopped ever since, he wants to change and I beleive him. I know him better than anyone and I know he loves me. I want to give it a few months to be sure he has changed. But I dont think my family or friends would accept him back. I am also worried it will happen again. It’s hard because I love him and have always loved him. I would support him through anything. But has too much damage been done. Will I lose my family and friends? 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 22, 2020 at 10:47 pm

      Hi Theresa I understand how hard it can be when you love someone but you can not able to have your family and friends support. However this person sounds as if they need time to get clean – properly. So I do suggest that you avoid getting into a relationship again and support them through getting clean.

  12. Avatar

    Blossom

    January 23, 2020 at 2:58 pm

    Please help me. This is the second time we broke up and got back together. Both time my family was involved. But this time I have moved totally out of his place but we talked about it and everything is okay between me and him.
    I don’t know to to tell my family that I’m back with him without upsetting them and making my self look stupid.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 24, 2020 at 11:18 am

      Hey Blossom, so I say this to many people and I stand by this. Your family are going to love you if you are with him or with someone else. They just want the best for you. So if you believe this person is going to make you happy then be with them. Your family will accept it if you are happy

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    Nikki

    January 22, 2020 at 4:34 am

    My ex and I dated for 9 months before breaking things off because he didn’t know what he wanted and was confused. We both realized that we had some parts that we need to work on. On the day we broke up, he invited a girl over to his house, but nothing dirty happened (according to him). After a week of separation, my ex realized that his love for me is still there. The thing is that my parents hate him. They didnt appreciate how he hurt me like that. They hate him so much that they made me block him from everything, which I can understand because it’s all about healing. But, they told me that if I even talk to him then they will disown me. They said this because before, I tried running away from my ex because I was sick of the insults my parents would say to me every time I get lectured. I came back because I felt really guilty. I’m going to be moving out of town once I graduate high school and I have been keeping contact with my ex. My ex doesn’t really like my family as well because of the personal stuff I told him as well as his experiences with them. I don’t know what to do. Both sides are against each other and I’m basically in the middle who is in a lose-lose situation. I try to talk to my parents about how I feel wanting to go back, but never mentioned them that I’m still contacting my ex. They don’t support it and they say “once an ex, always an ex” I want to prove them wrong, but I don’t know how. Any advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 22, 2020 at 9:14 pm

      Hi Nikki, so as far as advice goes I suggest that you do what is going to make YOU happy, as far as friends and family go they just want the best for you and they see your ex as someone who has hurt you and is going to hurt you again. However if you follow this process properly it takes time to be back with your ex officially but you will have been re building your connection with your ex so that by the time you are back together you would have already met up with your ex a few times and your family will have accepted that this was going to happen by then.

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    Cait

    January 16, 2020 at 6:24 am

    Hi, so I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 months and we broke up because basically it was a Friday night I had work and his best friends dad had pasted away so he and some friends went and had a drink. He ended up getting too drunk and cheated and well for fear of me hating him he broke up with me. We cut contact for two weeks until we ran into each other. He was a total mess and apologized over and over and over to me. After that we started to talk more and more and we have spent some time together. He is trying everything to re prove himself to me and I truly love him and want him in my life. So we are starting slow and everything because again my trust isn’t fully there, but his ability to prove himself has been beyond words. The huge problem is my family absolutely hates him for what happened. And I understand that because we are a very tight close family. But I haven’t said anything to my family about him and I resining comunication and talking again. But I need advice on how to get my family to understand I love him and that we are trying to fix this. Should I wait to talk to them? And how would I even get them to remotely understand? Also my ex-boyfriend wants my parents approval and it means everything to him too. I need help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 18, 2020 at 6:41 pm

      Hi Cait while you want them on your side remember that they do only want the best for you, but you have to do what makes you happy and if that is being with this person then explain this to your family and that you are sticking to your decision, it takes time for family to forgive someone who hurt us

  15. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

    EBR Team Member: Shaunna

    January 7, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    Hi Gracie, it is difficult as your age you are still under your parents guardian. If your boyfriend/ex boyfriend is willing to be patient and you show he is a good person they may be less against your relationship.

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    Bailey

    December 4, 2019 at 4:11 am

    Ex boyfriend and I had been dating for 5 months. The second month he broke up with me because he thought he rushed into our relationship. Two weeks later we got back together. We have a spark that i’ve never felt before. I love him and he loves me more than anything. About 2 days ago, we broke up again because he is having family issues and didn’t want to drag me along and end up hurting me. My mom is completely against me getting back with him. I love him and I don’t want my mom to get in the way of my relationship. I’m 17 and he’s 17. But i want to keep my relationship with my parents in good standing. I just want them to understand that me and him are okay. They need to let me grow and decide my future. What do i do? Do i not get back with him due to my moms views or respectively ignore them and be with him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 8:52 pm

      Hi Bailey, so if you look at this from your mothers view this guy keeps ending things with you which, keeps hurting you. Along with the fact that there is family problems she is not seeing him in a great light right now. If you and he want to get back together you can do, but you are going to have to stop the childish on and off games, or not tell your mother everything while things are only just back on you need to understand that she is only wanting to protect you, you are her child still. Even when you are 17 or 37 your Mam is always going to want to protect you. I would start up dating him slowly again and if he does mess you around and end things, be done with him because it is not good to be in an on and off again relationship when you are still young enough to go and have fun with your friends and not stress over relationships or guys.

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    Bryan

    November 3, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    My ex broke up with me last week due to me making a suicide attempt. He had been supportive of my mental illness really well before that and I supported him with his. He said he’s concerned I’ll do it again and his sister has made many attempts (most recent was 2 months ago). I’m sure he had a right to be angry. He said right now his emotions are too raw for us to work things out however he still believes I am the one for him. What do I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 9, 2019 at 4:22 pm

      Hi Bryan I am sorry thing are so dark for you right now, I do suggest working through therapy and coming out of your dark place before re entering the relationship as it makes it tougher to work through these things when we have someone else to consider. You need to be selfish right now and how to be happy (single) and that is how your relationship, or any relationship is going to work. Even if your boyfriend / ex boyfriend is supportive this event is proof you need to work on yourself first

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    Megan

    October 13, 2019 at 10:44 am

    Hi! I hope you can help me. I went out with this guy for 7 months. We were good together. But then we we broke up because I called him out on not being open to me enough. His break up line was that he didn’t know why his feelings were not deep enough to label the relationship. I said the same thing. We thought we were better off as friends. Few months in, we both realize that we really do love each other. He wanted to get back together with me by coming clean about his past: He was holding back because he was scared I’d leave him like his exes when they found out he emotionally cheated in his past relationship. That I would never look at him the same way. But my friends said that the way he broke up with me is unfair and that I should ask for space. They also said I shouldn’t give him a chance anymore. But I can’t help but feel that maybe this time we’ll get it right. I dont know what to do. When we broke up, he went out with the girl once but called it off saying that there wasn’t really anything there in the relationship. I don’t know what to do. We’ve been trying to fix for 2 months now but I’m still hung up over the fact that I might not be the girl he really loves and that by ignoring my friends advice, I would lose them if this guy ever break up with me in the future.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 15, 2019 at 8:58 pm

      Hey Megan I think your friends are just worried and looking out for you, but you need to try and work on being happy (single) and see how things develop with your ex slowly. Be cautious and watch his actions not his words when you are building a relationship again and make sure that the other girl who you are worried about is not in the picture

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    Brittney

    October 10, 2019 at 3:14 am

    Hello! My ex boyfriend broke up with me abruptly 7 months ago. It’s a long story but it was basically over an issue I had with my house which I had recently purchased. It was an outside environmental issue and he is an engineer so he had a lot of expertise with helping me fix the problem. I feel like I ended up giving up and letting him handle most of the issue. He said it got too stressful to help me and that he knew he was making me feel badly. He also said I should have waited to buy a house so that maybe we could have bought a house together, but we had only been together a few months when I was in escrow. I felt terrible that he basically left me over something that was out of my control and my family and friends were surprised when he broke up with me. Consequently, they absolutely do not like him and have said they never liked him anyways. Although we were apart, we would text each other every now and then. He started texting me more frequently and eventually asked to meet for drinks. Even though I was dating someone else, I agreed and he ended up telling me he was still in love with me. He asked for a second chance and said he has changed and regrets ever doing what he did and that he would never hurt me again. He even showed me a note he prepared to say to my family apologizing. My heart wants to give him another chance, but when I hear my family say I should move on and stay with the person I’m dating, it gives me so much doubt about trying again and shuts me down. It has been multiple times that he has shown up to ask for another chance and I’ve kept saying yes then backing out because of my family’s reaction. After all the rejection and hot/cold reactions from me, he has started dating someone else. He said he hopes I figure things out before it’s too late. Now it feels like an ultimatum and I feel at war with myself. Please help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 12, 2019 at 8:51 am

      Hi Brittney, so even though friend and family love us, they are not going to be the ones who control your happiness. So if your ex is going to be your person who you are happy and in love with then go for it. Because at the end of the day it’s your life not theirs.

  20. Avatar

    Olivia

    September 30, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    Hello. I am in a bit of a pickle here. None of my friends are supportive of me getting back with my ex and have threatened to “shun” me if I do. The thing is, I have reconciled with him and we have been seeing each other for two weeks now. Everyone thinks I’m still single. I just feel like they’re giving me an ultimatum here. They’re trying to make me choose between him and them. My ex and I have been on and off for three years and this is our third go at things. We have been through a lot together and we were each other’s best friend and each other’s worst enemy at the same time. We were both severely depressed and unmotivated but i was the only one that had enough drive to work so the bottom line is that he freeloaded off of me the entire time. We broke up last time because i told him i was going to live with my mother and that we moved in together too young and too soon into our relationship because i felt that he didn’t have the chance to figure out how to adult and be responsible by himself. We were apart for 8 months and he is working and has a house of his own now. I’m living with my mother and i think if he keeps up being independent like that our relationship could work and he could learn to support a family. My friends do not feel the same at all and it’s just like you said. they see a picture but they haven’t read the whole book. All i know is i’ve never felt a love like this before and i know it sounds like a train wreck but it’s my life. Can’t picture myself having a family or wedding in the future where he isn’t in it. Really looking for some advice here. Thank you for this post it’s the only thing on the internet i could find relating to my issue.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 1, 2019 at 8:38 pm

      Hi Olivia, so its a personal experience here. I found Ex Boyfriend Recovery during my break up from my current partner, and my family and friends didn’t want me to go back with him, they couldn’t understand why I would go back to someone who hurt me. But I knew this is the person I wanted to be with so – even though it was awkward and some people were upset with my decision its my life and I do what is best for me.

      As long as he wasn’t mentally or physically abusive in any way and you think this is something worth the backlash then go for it. You have to live your life being happy for yourself not for others. Even though they think they know what is best for you, its YOUR decision.

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