By Chris Seiter

Updated on February 25th, 2021

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and ultimately determined that I needed to let you in on some of my thinking, specifically the idea of “a confluence of events.”

The Confluence Of Events = The series of events that have to occur in order to successfully get your ex back.

Of course, before I began writing I decided that the best way to help you understand my crazy brain was to record a podcast episode. Now, this episode is different than almost every other episode I have ever done because It’s just kind of like an insight into my stream of consciousness. I literally just talk about the different ideas I have and make a big deal about the confluence of events when it comes to getting an ex back.

Lets just chalk it up to me freestyling and seeing what comes of it.

Anyways, I just listened to this episode and it wasn’t half bad so I decided to publish it.


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What I Talk About In This Episode

  • Cause and Effect
  • Why cause and effect is missing something crucial
  • Why no one talks about that crucial thing
  • The confluence of events
  • What events have to occur to get your ex back
  • Huge mistakes women make

Important Links Mentioned In This Episode

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17 thoughts on “The Confluence Of Events (What Are They?)”

  1. Little Lady

    January 3, 2018 at 6:12 am

    Thanks so much amor, I’m trying to take all your good advice – I’ve bought both books, yet I’m struggling to implement it… Neither I nor he is using social media such as Facebook or Instagram.
    I think I did everything right each time we met – acted happy, conveyed to him that I have a full, social life, ended the date early…. It feels like I’m doing well when we meet face to face, then, dead silence over text… 🙁
    He texted me the morning of new year (a picture from his house) I waited 24h to reply (so effectively it has been 10 days NC), then he ignored my text (positive comment & question about the pic). Next time I come home is in 3 weeks. So far he has always agreed to meet up. How shall I act until then? NC again or, letting a few days pass and try texting him again? Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 9:15 pm

      10 days nc? That means that was your second nc? When you replied that means it was broken.. It’s still important to be active in posting, because there’s a high chance he will be curious on why you’re not texting or chasing him.. That’s why you should do posts that don’t disappear after 24 hours.. if you’re going to restart nc.. make it the last one and make it 45 days.

  2. Little Lady

    December 28, 2017 at 9:31 pm

    hey Amor, thanks for your prompt replies, that’s really great! 🙂
    It’s been complicated. We know each other for years, we worked together. Always felt attracted. Last year we started dating, he did all the courting. After 6 months he broke up, pretty much out of the blue, without a real reason. “I don’t feel the way I should about this, I’m not enthusiastic enough to bring myself in enough to make this work” etc. He held me in his arms and apologised and wished he could feel differently. I still don’t know what to think about it.
    I did NC for 3 weeks directly, no begging or pleading (He contacted me). Then I had to go back to work. We met a couple of times for coffee “as friends”. Never brought up the relationship again.
    In the meantime, I moved away to a different country (but I come to my hometown approx once per month) I did not text him again for 2 weeks after moving. He was not enthusiastic when I contacted him but we exchanged a couple of texts. He said he was extremely busy at work and not feeling healthy. Work can consume him at times.
    We met before Christmas – parted with a looooong hug and small kiss. Now it’s been 8 days I haven’t heard from him. Do I text him e.g. for New Year or do I make this another NC until he texts me?
    Next time I come here will be end of January. I have done positive changes and learned a lot. I see many mistakes I made. I truly think if we *both* decided to try again and made the effort we would have a decent chance to make it work.
    How can I plant the idea in his head again and get him to think about it? I would like to talk to him about the possibilities we have.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 8:05 pm

  3. Little Lady

    December 28, 2017 at 10:50 am

    Hi Amor, thanks for your reply… Every time when we’re meeting one to one the “friend zone” thing is hard to believe, the tension is still there… But once I’m gone, it’s gone and there’s just silence… So what would you recommend: NC again or first talking to him about trying to get back together and then going back into NC ? Also because it’s essentially LD I don’t want to let go the contact, completely, in order not to scare him off the idea of a LDR… Right now it’s 7 days since we last met and there has been no contact… Should I contact him (in a light, non-threatening, small talk kind of way) ?? Thanks!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2017 at 8:07 pm

      since you’re friendzoned, dont’ ask him to get back together.. You’re asking somebody that doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.. how many times have you done nc?

  4. Little Lady

    December 26, 2017 at 11:59 am

    Hey. Thanks for your awesome work!!
    I do not manage to establish a stable, continuous line of communication. He answeres my questions, then he again ignores my texts entirely for a week. He is, however, always willing to meet me when I’m in town (we live in different countries) about once a month. We talk, we laugh, we chat as if nothing was wrong. Last time he suggested going to a Christmas market and we had dinner the next day. Now, again, I haven’t heard from him for a week.
    This is going for months like this and I cannot make the successive progress you describe (text -> phone -> meet up). What shall I do? Is he stringing me along and just taking advantage of me? Do I confront him about getting back together next time we meet (we seem pretty close once we’re in person)? Or do I start NC again without a warning?
    Thanks so much for your help!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2017 at 1:11 am

      It look a like you’re friendzoned… For him he’s just being friendly but for you it’s not..

  5. Gem

    December 2, 2017 at 9:19 am

    Hi Amor

    It’s hard to believe they miss you albeit not same level as you especially because they keep telling you they don’t miss or think about you at all 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 4, 2017 at 6:47 am

      it doesn’t matter.. what matters more is you.. Be a better person for yourself.. whether you get him back or not..

  6. Gem

    December 1, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    It’s hard to think they miss you when they tell you they don’t and that you broke their heart over all the years 🙁

    And mostly because they keep saying they don’t miss you – you believe them because they seem to be fine carrying on with life as if nothing serious has happened – like leaving you! So we the dumped go through the withdrawal symptoms while the ex seems completely not phased and is happy to move on!:(

  7. Luna

    November 30, 2017 at 6:09 am

    How are you supposed to be practice NC if you have kids together and are amicable enough to chat and discuss logistics / practical stuff ?

    Doesn’t help as they clearly still feel you ‘still talking to them’ and I guess they don’t ever feel a sense of you being completely out of their life 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2017 at 8:19 pm

  8. Gem

    November 30, 2017 at 6:07 am

    In the confluence of events episode, you mention that the one who’s been dumped finds it hard to practice the NC rule as the withdrawal one goes through is the same as drug withdrawal – mentally and physiology.

    So why is that your ex is fine to move on and seems to not have any of these withdrawal symptoms with you? Why is it so easy for them? It makes one feel that your time with your ex didn’t mean anything to them at all 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2017 at 8:18 pm

      Hi Gem,

      You mean if he’s the one whow dumped you? He’s still going to miss you but not in the same level as you do..

  9. Veronica

    November 22, 2017 at 5:21 am

    If you’re long distance, would the NC work effectively? Considering that there’s no chance of physically running into each other.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 3:33 am