What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back

You Should Let Your Ex Come To You; Here’s Why!

“Never chase a man after a breakup; let him come after you.”

This piece of advice is something we say over and over again in the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Facebook Group.

Why?

Because it’s a mistake everyone makes and it is 100% right.

Men are biologically driven to enjoy the chase. This is why they are so frequently the pursuers in relationships while women tend to take a more passive role… at least in the beginning.

In dating, one of the most important things you can do is sit back and let him prove how interested he is in you.

Have you ever seen “He’s Just Not That Into You”? It’s based on the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.

And though the title may seem a bit harsh, the lessons are sound. If a guy is interested in you he will make an effort to show you that.

There is as much of a stigma towards men as there is towards women when it comes to putting themselves out there. If women do it, they are considered desperate and crazy. But men are expected to initiate and make their interest known… though there are some crazies out there who go overboard, to be sure.

Simply put, if a guy is interested in you, he will make it painfully obvious.

After my last breakup, I was back in the dating scene for the first time in YEARS.

Seriously, the last time I was single, Tinder didn’t even exist!

I had to learn how to gauge the interest of a man very quickly. The ones who were not interested in anything with me didn’t respond right away and didn’t seem enthusiastic about getting to know me.

Let’s be real, there were only one or two of those, though.

On the other hand, the ones who were interested made it very clear.

  • They texted, sometimes an overwhelming amount.
  • They wanted to make plans.
  • And they asked questions.

Those are the signs of someone who is interested, and they’re also signs of someone who may come back after a breakup. 

And I let them chase me.

You see, if a guy really is interested, you won’t have to do much work at all. They’ll take care of it for you. All you have to do is:
  • Respond, not immediately but in a timely manner
  • Be your charming self
  • Avoid coming on too strong in your responses
It’s quite a powerful feeling, really.
So embrace it, and prepare to be chased.

Free On Demand Coaching
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What Makes A Man Come Back After A Breakup

First, we are going to start at the end. We are going to cover what it takes for a guy to admit he made a mistake in letting you get away and return to the relationship.

Men are stubborn.

It may take a lot for him to admit he was wrong and show up at your door at 4 am with his tail between his legs. But it can happen.

Part of it has to do with you, and another part of it has to do with the chase, and the push/pull theory.

The first thing that will make a man start to question his decision is No Contact.

There is nothing as powerful as the lack of you to make a man miss you. And time and space away from each other is the only thing that will accomplish that.

Do not contact him after the breakup.

Instead, go into an immediate No Contact period.

I’m not going to expand too much on thatin this article because there are already countless articles on this site that will spell out why No Contact is so necessary, and how it affects your Ex Boyfriend’s brain and emotions.

When Will He Start To Miss Me

I know it can be like torture waiting for your ex to reach out – all you want is for him to initiate. You find yourself asking,

“How long before he calls me after a breakup?”

“When will we get to the meetup phase?”

I know it’s tempting to push the process and try to make it go by faster. But the best thing you can do is let it all happen naturally – if you do that, he will begin to chase. It may not happen as quickly as you’d like it to, but it will happen.

It takes varying amounts of time for a guy to miss you after a breakup take place. Clichés are clichés for a reason. It does tend to be true that men and women process breakups differently.

The cliché is that women cry into a tub of ice cream and watch romantic comedies, and men go out to party and sleep with as many new women as possible, that doesn’t last forever. Women tend to process their emotions early on, while most men suppress them.

BAfter some time, women tend to begin feeling better and move on more fully, just around the time that men start realizing what they gave up. That is why moving on without moving on can be so effective.

There isn’t really an exact timeline on how long missing you will start to take. Chances are 30 days of No Contact will only start to get things moving in that direction. You’ll have some work to do before he begins to actively chase. But the changes that you start making to your life during No Contact, those will set up the important base to get your ex missing you and reaching out.

Free On Demand Coaching
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How To Make Him Chase You

We’ve established why it is important to make your ex boyfriend chase you, but we haven’t really gotten to how you can influence that decision. Through the ex recovery process, you are interacting with your ex in a number of ways – social media, texts, calls, and in-person meetups. How do you make him chase you in all of these areas?

When my friends ask me for dating advice, I always tell them to care less.

“Whoever cares less wins,”

I say. And I don’t mean that you should actually care less, but I mean you should appear to care less.

What does that mean? It basically means you can’t make the object of your desire the center of your life. Your ex needs to know that you have other things going on in your life that take priority over him. No one wants to be the center of someone’s universe – it’s way too much pressure.

Think about it – when he’s chasing, and you’re taking a passive position, you are in the position of power. You know where he stands, but are not reciprocating the same amount of effort. But how do you get there?

It begins with getting him interested in what you are doing during n by utilizing social media. You’re not reaching out to him, but he is seeing how you are slaying your each and every day inadvertently, so his curiosity will be piqued.

The next step is text messages. Don’t respond to him right away. You’re a busy woman, make him wait until you have a free moment. If you are too available, it signals desperation, which is not attractive. Don’t double text. If you don’t get a response, don’t follow up. Wait a few days and try again.

Now when it comes to texting, and when it comes to meetups, the Push/Pull theory will be a friend to you. When your ex starts to pull away, it may feel natural to try harder, but what you should do is stop and take a step back. This works especially well is you gnatted a lot post-breakup. When your ex realizes you are no longer pursuing, something will go off in his brain and he’ll subconsciously start to wonder why you didn’t reach out again. Did you lose interest? Did you meet someone else? The sad truth is that sometimes, what it takes to make your ex want you, is him thinking you are no longer an option.

Maintain a little mystery during conversations via phone and in person. Don’t give it all away. Maintaining an aura of secrecy can be alluring and make your ex want to spend more time with you. If he pulls back, your impulse may be to push to get him interested again but don’t follow that. Instead, keep yourself busy and find something else to occupy you. Your ex cannot be your life. No man should.

It is also normal for a man to rubberband a bit after a good interaction. If you feel like you got somewhere with him in conversation, but then get radio silence for the next few days, don’t fear. Just give him time and space and let him come back to you.

You really maintain so much more control over the situation if you can make sure to curb your impulses and let him initiate. As an experiment with an ex, I once went a full month without initiating, just to see the results. Sure, we went without talking for a day or two here or there, but we actually ended up talking almost every day – with him beginning every conversation. He wants to chase – he’s biologically built to do it. And you’ll feel better and more confident on your journey if you take a step back and let him chase you, too.

Tying It All Together

As creepy as it sounds, men are biologically built to chase, to hunt. And we, as women, are built to be hunted. Keep in mind that you don’t have to be super sweet and available to a man to chase after you. In fact, feigning disinterest can be a very powerful tool. Hell, in season 6 of Buffy, she is terribly cruel to Spike, but it doesn’t make him love her any less:

Spike: Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you wanna dance.

Buffy: Say it’s true. Say I do want to. It wouldn’t be you, Spike. It would never be you. You’re beneath me.

-Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Fool For Love”

Her words hurt him, but he still ends the episode holding her. I’m not saying to be outright cruel to your ex. But don’t be too available. Let him come after you. Engage is some push/pull.

Men don’t want a woman who will make him her world. They want a woman who has a life and other interests outside of him. And you should want that for yourself, too.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

As tempting as it may be to go after your ex boyfriend during the process, take a step back and re-evaluate. Go out with friends, take a bubble bath, focus on work. Essentially, focus on anything that makes your life better and has nothing to do with you rex and I can almost guarantee that your phone will be lighting up with a text from him in no time.

So, now that you are all filled in on what’s going on and how to deal with it, let’s talk about your particular situation. I want to know:

  1. The details surrounding your breakup
  2. What you have done since the breakup
  3. And, after reading this article, what you think your next move should be

Our experts will get back to you and you will discuss what your next best move should be to get your ex back.

		

Written by EBR Teamate

Rachel

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23 thoughts on “You Should Let Your Ex Come To You; Here’s Why!”

  1. Kimberly

    February 11, 2018 at 12:56 pm

    Well here goes. Can you tell me what to do and possibly give me an intelligent prediction as to what will happen? My ex boyfriend is stupid but terribly intelligent. In November we broke up, it started off clean but I kept seeing him with a girl who I thought was his friend but he admitted to cheating on me with her. Now, we broke up because he became less attracted to me. He says that it was because of all the drama but those were things that could have changed or been avoided had i maintained his attraction to me. I’ve done the no contact rule for three weeks before. When I contacted him, he totally broke down telling me he loved me and left 113 messages on my phone, kept calling, lovebombing me even. However he was still seeing that girl. I found out because after a few days of speaking he was ignoring my messages. I reverted mentally and went to his house. She was there. He chose her. He said he traded the love we had for peace and that his decision is the best for him. The next day after completely expressing myself emotionally, I went into no contact. Now I used to think that expressing myself that emotionally, as you would suggest is a turn off but it isnt to him i believe, not if he cares for you. See he has cried to me several times about our breakup every time that I leave him alone. So he understands emotion and loves passion. However, he still chose that girl. I havent spoken to him in 6 days. The issue happened 8 days ago. He put up a status that said “ignorance is as important as intelligence”. I found that to mean that maybe he found that I did not behave intelligently. And to make matters worse, I didnt even look my best when i went to his house. He isn’t even messaging me. He’s doing it so i can move on but really what i want is him to acknowledge my feelings, apologise and make amends… I also feel like because this is the second time im going into NC, and especially with seeing him and her in his house together, that it really may be the final nail in the coffin and that there’s nothing to talk about, no friendship to be had and that he’ll feel more secure moving forward because he knows that we can’t get back together, not after all that has happened. Can you just give me some insight…I don’t like the situation. While im moving on and working, he’s not around and I miss him. Will he reach out because I can’t be the one to chase him. I’ve done enough. What’s gonna happen..he’s dead set on this new girl but he doesn’t love her at all, wont miss her if she goes away, not that much even, they’re not best friends. They just like eachother and are friends, have sex and are in classes together. He seems to be wanting to make it work…

  2. Tanna

    February 11, 2018 at 12:34 am

    My ex and I were together for 6 months. During the time, we both acknowledged that it was the most compatible relationship we had ever been in, the most fun, passionate, the most understanding. It felt perfect. We both knew where we were headed long term. Im 27 and he is 32. Not long before we started dating, he left a 6 figure job to start his own business. During the time we were dating, the stress of starting a career afresh started to really get to him and he decided after Christmas that he couldn’t keep me a priority right now. He had to pick up another job to make ends meet and in his words – he couldn’t be the man I deserved right now, he doesn’t know how long this “drought” in his career will go on and he doesn’t want me to resent him eventually. He’s very traditional. He made it very clear he wants to be the provider in the relationship. I’m comfortable and make a very good salary myself. Initially, we agreed to be friends (maybe too quickly), but then the lack of free time on his side started to get frustrating. I went off on him, and accused him of using his financial situation as a cop out. He couldn’t believe I would suggest that but he apologized that I felt that way and blamed himself and bad timing and… that was the last he spoke to me. I since apologized for that, with no response from him. I started NC to give myself the space I needed to revaluate things and a possible friendship.

    It’s been 3 weeks. I’m wondering – was I too harsh? Is he really trying to work on himself or is he just not that into me? I plan to re-engage him slowly after a month when I’m ready to be friends. Any comments will help me. Still miss him terribly.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2018 at 1:03 pm

      Hi Tanna,

      Restart nc, and still be active in posting and make your posts public because he will probably get curious and check.

  3. Sasha

    February 9, 2018 at 9:48 pm

    Im so confused with my situation. We are Long distance. We spoke for 2 years when he was in Australia. He moved to Canada last year and we met. We are still LD because I’m in NY. We only met twice. Things have always been rocky between us. He always says he can’t marry me because of so many family issues on his side. In Dec 2017, things really started falling apart. He wouldn’t talk to me days. Message me once a week. He even called me one time and apologized for behaving the way he did. And then again back to the silence. Then a week later when i confronted him, and wanted to know what exactly is happening between us, he shut me down. I have not begged. I let it go. I started my NC. Although, I did wish him Happy birthday which was 18 days into NC. After that I decided to let it go completely and move on. He started messaging me (again like once a week). Liked my Instagram pic. texted me he liked my pic. Today (Feb 9), he texts me again saying he wants to go on vacation and if I would like to come. I asked him are we going as friends or more than that. He said friends. Now I’m so confused. Idk what is going on in his mind. Will NC work at this point? I know he has no other girl. He is in a lot of stress because of his family issues and he doesn’t like Canada. Im just lost as to how to approach this. Should I go on a vacation with him? I know it will make him stress free for that time. I won’t bring up the relationship and just try to keep the mood light and be a friend. But I also know, if something happens between us, it will break me when we come back from vacation and he is back to his old self. I think I’m friend zoned but not sure exactly what is on his mind.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2018 at 12:33 pm

      Hi Sasha,

      What’s the reason of rebuilding rapport again? Is it to get him back? Because if yes, I think you should just move on.. Unless, he’s going to move to Canada, or he literally says he changed his mind about the possibility of you being his wife someday.

  4. A.J.

    February 9, 2018 at 5:07 pm

    hi
    Big thanks for the entire team, basically your articles are my support system 😛

    I’m little bit confused over my situation here ..

    I made two mistakes one that required I break my no contact and apologize (according to one article on EBR) and the other required to never ever initiate the contact even after the end of the no contact period (also according to another article on EBR)

    I made all the mistakes chris once mentiond from being clingy, emotional, irrational, obsessed, whatever came to your mind just name it ! I basically became a drama queen to him :\ ! (the never initiate contact situation)

    I also made the mistake of not admiting to my problemes. The last thing I did before the NC was calling him a quitter and I never did acknowledge my part in breaking his heart!

    now (after more than two weeks of NC) I came to my senses, I start questioning my behavior (not only with him but also with others) I also did lots of reading and researching and I come to realize that I really did hurt him twice, first throughout our entire relationship when I was extremely self-centered and second throughout our breakup and how I reacted!

  5. Vero

    February 9, 2018 at 4:41 pm

    I have a general question!

    So, after NC, I may initiate contact and increase it bit by bit (Tide Theory). When should I let him initiate? And when I am allowed to initiate?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 12, 2018 at 11:40 pm

  6. Juanita Holt

    February 9, 2018 at 12:35 pm

    He made insecure lookiing at women had ro always sot n a restaurant so he could see everyone. We was together 1 year and 6 months, he was married 20 years they still not divorced she cheated he still pays her car insurance, phone bill and property taxes thats just what i know of. There son is 18 teen he still has pictures of her amd deleted all of mine. When i try to talk to him about anything he alwayus says its all n my head and we never resolve anything. He disappears for 3 to 4 days with no contact and says i stress him out with questions that im trying to control him my love is miserable and im not part of his routine.

  7. Ree

    February 9, 2018 at 4:23 am

    My ex and I were together for a almost a year. We moved in together after 6 months. At first he pursued me, initiated everything and pushed for us to see each other more, he could barely spend a night apart from me. As the relationship progressed, he became more distant and less affectionate until it almost completely stopped. We had a fight and he said he no longer saw a future for us but he wanted to try and fight to get back what we had. One day out of the blue he woke up and said he didn’t love me and never would and that I wasn’t the one for him but he needed time and space to clear his head. He couldn’t tell me that it was over but couldn’t tell me that we had a chance of getting back together but was trying not to give me false hope. Any contact after that he would reiterate that he felt he had made the right decision even if it hurt us both and that he can’t change how he feels. Naturally I panicked and begged for him not to leave me (hadn’t found this site yet) and 4 weeks after our break-up he blocked me on messenger but still has me as a friend. I have to see him 3 times a week due to sporting commitments at the same club. I am in my 4th week of NC but now whenever I see him he will try to have an excuse to start a conversation. I have maintained being aloof whenever he is around and not making a big deal out of our conversations but it is leaving me incredibly confused. What should I do? Should I walk away?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2018 at 12:57 pm

      HI Ree,

      by walking away do you mean moving on? How much are you improving yourself?

  8. Joanna

    February 8, 2018 at 5:39 pm

    He broke up with me about a month ago, saying he had lost interest and didn’t have romantic feelings any more. He said he wants to be friends, but he really hasn’t been showing that. One thing he said took a toll on him was that I struggle with depression and I was too dependent on him. I’m getting started back into therapy and trying to reach out to family and friends more to help with that. I had been letting him contact me, but I’m finding that trying to maintain a casual conversation is mentally draining because I’m trying to say everything right and not show how hurt I am. The first few days, I really tried and begged him to try again, or to take a break for a few months, but he says he can’t see himself spending his life with me anymore. This is after dating nearly 2 years and being friends for about a year before dating. He told me before he wanted to get married and that I was his soulmate. What happened? I don’t know what to do. I know you guys say no contact, but he tried to call earlier and I feel like ignoring it was wrong.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2018 at 12:23 pm

      Hi Joanna,

      Do you want to try the nc rule?

  9. Munni

    February 8, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    My ex broke up with me 3 months ago. We work in the same company, and worst the same team but maintain distance and try not to see each other often. I have begged him on and off, tried NC the first months successfully but still, he said he could not get back as he felt suppressed in the relationship. We are from different religions and now he has told all our friends that he is getting married soon to a girl fixed by his parents. I went to his place thrice at night to talk to him, and all the three times we had sex but morning he said he would never get back with me, as he has moved on.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2018 at 12:12 pm

      Hi Munni,

      The nc is worthless if you begged and chased after it.. If he’s getting married, then that means you have to move on.

  10. Sally

    February 6, 2018 at 4:30 pm

    My ex and I were really only FWBs. We were to have dates and hookups but then he eliminated the dates and we only ended up having the hookups.

    It was a casual relationship. We saw each other for about a year — about eight times. As far as I know, we were seeing each other exclusively. Throughout the year, I couldn’t say that I was always happy since I had unmet needs but I wanted to give things a chance to see if he could want me for a traditional relationship.

    Before he left town for Christmas, he said that he would chat to me in the new year. His email was fairly affectionate. However, when I read his message, I got upset and responded by dumping him. I simply said: “Good luck to you.” I was disappointed that I wouldn’t get to see him on New Year’s Eve.

    Two days after I sent that email, I sent another email just to chitchat. I carried on as if nothing had happened. He didn’t respond.

    Then on New Year’s day, he sent me an email to wish me a happy New Year. A few days after that email, he sent an email to dump me. He said that he didn’t want a relationship with me.

    Since he dumped me a month ago, I sent him countless emails to beg and convince him to see me again. He hasn’t responded to any of my messages. For all I know, maybe he’s even blocked my emails. I know I should try the no contact rule but have no self-control. However, if I were to try the no contact rule, starting today, what are my chances of hearing from him again? Good or bad?

    Btw, I know that everyone will think that I’m crazy to be wasting my time on this guy, but even so… I like him and want to continue with even just the hookups for a bit longer.

    Thanks.
    Sally.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2018 at 12:23 pm

      Hi Sally,

      have you taken our quiz?

  11. Rani

    February 5, 2018 at 1:43 pm

    Brace yourself, it’s a long one (or read the summery down below =-) )

    My ex-boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago. We were together for 8 years, and I still can’t believe it. We we’re really good together. Same interests, same opinions. Everything. We were young, both 16 years old. And now we are 24. It’s really hard. In the beginning his textmessages were really cruel and hard. I couldn’t understand it. He also looked like a total different person. After 3 weeks he was already dating someone else.(someone he met in an hairsalon. She works there). The problem was: I was a very dependent person, he knew I would always wait for him. Also because I do feel (felt) that we weren’t ready. We had a lot of affection (hugs, seks, kisses). He was just really busy and stuff. Also my jealousy was a bad point. He is/was my world — MY BAD! And I wanted to avoid him finding someone better. But by doing that, I actually lost him. Quite ironic :(. I had the no contact period until day 18. That’s when I heard he already was dating another girl (always texting, and went for couple of drinks), and I was soooo upset.

    When I reached out to him he told me that they had an amazing connection, and he wants to take it slow with her.

    He is my first love, and i really am still head over hills. But I know we are a lost case. Because even today – after 3 months – he’s certain about his choice. But how can he trow everything away? Like it’s nothing?

    The past months we had some struggles. We’ve moved in together, but that didn’t work out (bad timing, because he was still going to school and worked half-time. And then there was my jealousy and the common ‘you’re never at home’. After that, we moved back at our parents home and after 3 weeks we were back together. And the relationship was great again. We were even laughing like: “as if we can separate, we are too good for each other”. But the past month we had a lot of discussion. He is very ambitious, which is great! He works half-time as a sportsteacher and securityguy, and recently started an own bussines in personal training. And as time went by, I felt less important… despite seeing each 4 times a week, I felt there was something wrong… Or I made it up, ofcourse. And after a huge fight (which was totally my bad, my jealousy god damn) he ended it. and from one day to the next he was very cold and distant and saying ‘I wasn’t the right woman for him. And he found he has fought enough for our relationship. And a lot of other heartbreaking arguments. But after 3 weeks he was already dating? Very hard for me to hear and endure, because I really thought I meant more for him… Because when It was good, we were like amorous teenagers… Which was most of the time.. I still can’t believe it he can threw everything away, and already showing interest in someone else. Maybe he’s curiosity took over…

    The No Contact rule: the first month – after begging and crying ofcourse – I left him alone. After that month I texted him – because of something practical. He found it the opportunity to ASK How I m doing. He wanted to know Aalot. Even If my parents are angry, but I’ve responded badly like: you broke up with me. It’s none of your business anymore. He said he don’t want to be annemies, and wants to know time to time What s up, and What I’m doing.

    I haven’t heard from him since 28th of December, untill 2 weeks ago (23th of January). He texted me to pick up the rest of his stuff. I was short and distant, where he got annoyed by. He told me: “Can’t you speak normal after 3 months…” When the conversation ended he asked out of the blue “how are you doing”? I ignored him, and then he asked about my dog and that he really wanted to see her again. He asked it several times in one conversation. I said “when the time is ready”. After that convertation he asked again how i’m doing… 2 times. So I just said “I’m doing fine”, which he replied: “Okay, good”. Probably because I don’t give a full explenation? This whole thing makes me feel sad and angry again. Why didn’t want me in his life anymore, why does he always ask how i’m doing??

    that weekend we had a conversation. Even after 3 months he still says the same :”The love was over’: “I was unhappy, although I had everything”. “I know I can”t make you happy and give you want you want and need.” “After moving back home with my parents (we shared a appartement together) something broke and never heeled again.” He also told that even tough we are not together, he still isn’t happy. Like he said: ” don’t know who of what’s gonna make me happy’. But it seems that, even after 3 months of less – no – contact he still doesn’t regret breaking up with me. Even though we had a relationship of 8 years.

    It really was hard to hear these sentences. So, end of Octobre we broke up after 8 years. End of November we had contact, in December a several times and now two weeks ago. But I know, when he got his stuff back, I will not hear from him anymore…

    PS: in that same conversation he admitted to miss me as a person in his life., after I asked him. “Do you miss me as a person in your life, not as a partner.’ Which he answered: “I miss you for sure as a person!”. He also admitted he dated the same girl (hairdresser) several times (he started after 3 weeks :(, which makes our conversation a little hostile from my side, because he really hurt me) and that he kissed her. Well, that was heartbreaking. Two weeks ago he came for his stuff and he asked if he was allowed to see my dog AGAIN (he was crazy about her). A several minutes later he even asked me to see me … But announced that ‘it would make things harder, so he would understand if I didn’t want to’. Which I totally not wanted, for myself. I would hurt me. BUT WHY ON EARTH WOULD HE WANTS TO SEE ME? After only 3 months … We’ve said everything what there’s need to be said…

    I’ve havn’t heard from him for two weeks now.

    Sorry for the long story 🙂 I wanted to make it shorter, but that’s difficult 🙂

    Show less

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2018 at 11:42 am

      Hi Rani,

      do a last nc of at least 45 days.. Be active in improving yourself and in posting and start a routine that you will continue after nc whether you decide to move or to slowly build rapport. Act as if he has moved on and this is a restart. Do not ask to be friends, nor ask if there’s still a chance. Just slowly build rapport.

  12. Chi

    February 5, 2018 at 8:06 am

    My ex bf and have been broken up for almost 4mos now. I can say I have refocused my life into other things like getting back in shape, getting busy with my studies in masters and in my current work. We havent spoken to each other for 3mos and I unfriended him in all social media. Recently, I heard that his friends sent him recent videos or photos of me on fb. They thought he would be happy that I’d be doing fine and improving even if im hurting. But instead, he felt sad. So right now, im confused why he felt sad since he was the one who broke it off with me saying that he’s scared that maybe in the future we will break up. He also said he wanted to be strong, mature and improve himself and wanted to boost his self confidence. Idk if im looking for a reason to hope. I guess I am. So right now, im still hurting that he hasnt done anything to reach out to me after the break up. He just went on with his life.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 7, 2018 at 3:19 pm

      Hi Chi,

      If that came from friends, take it with a grain of salt because they might be just playing cupid on you two..

  13. Vanessa

    February 4, 2018 at 7:54 am

    So I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months, he was hanging out with his friends a lot and it bothered me, he would always reassure me that everything was ok I told him I felt unwanted and I couldn’t continue to do this anymore and I needed to be a priority vs an option, he agreed and the next day he proposed, my dumb ass accepted and 2 hours later he said he was going to help his cousin and was gone for hours, he called me and said it would take longer than he expected and I finally got fed up because he always does this, he also relapsed, so this is the biggest reason why I did not like the fact he was hanging with his friends and cousins. So I decided to break up with him and I told him I could not continue to do this anymore. He then began to spread rumors that I became involved with his brother, so I in turn had enough went to his house and told him off, I told him bring your brother over here so I can confront him, I told him I’m not scared only a guilty conscience hides and I ain’t hiding. Obviously he never called his brother so that I could confront him, but after that I was finally done. But then again you start to regret, how could he propose to me and then next thing were broken up for the same reason all over again, so the next morning at 3 am I received a text with him saying “I’m sorry” I didn’t respond I initiated no contact, 2nd day he texts “could we please talk” I did not respond, the third day he texts this is the last time you will hear from me, I love you, I miss you, I feel so stupid, I know you would have given me the world, I’m sorry I wasn’t the man you needed in your life, thank you for everything, this is it, I am gona block you now. I never responded it is now day 7 of no contact haven’t heard from him directly in 4 days but he did call our mutual friend and told her that he missed me and he loved me so much, she told him he was complicated and he agreed, and that’s the last thing I’ve heard. I told my friend that I did not want to hear anything about him because I feel betrayed by him how could he go from one extreme to the other, we had a good relationship not sure if it was the relapse or his friends or what I just want everything to go back to the way it was when we first started dating. Will he change, why would he choose that lifestyle I don’t know I just don’t get it, he also told me that he was not a chaser and basically he wasn’t going to kiss my ass…not sure how to take this, does he miss me, does he love me, why doesn’t he show it ugh

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 7, 2018 at 12:08 pm

      Hi Vanessa,

      if that has been his lifestyle before dating you, then he would really go back to it once he got comfortable in the relationship. If no, then it’s probably a grass is greener for him. check this one:
      The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends