By Rachel

“Never chase a man after a breakup; let him come after you.”

This piece of advice is something we say over and over again in the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Facebook Group.

Why?

Because it’s a mistake everyone makes and it is 100% right.

Men are biologically driven to enjoy the chase. This is why they are so frequently the pursuers in relationships while women tend to take a more passive role… at least in the beginning.

In dating, one of the most important things you can do is sit back and let him prove how interested he is in you.

Have you ever seen “He’s Just Not That Into You”? It’s based on the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.

And though the title may seem a bit harsh, the lessons are sound. If a guy is interested in you he will make an effort to show you that.

There is as much of a stigma towards men as there is towards women when it comes to putting themselves out there. If women do it, they are considered desperate and crazy. But men are expected to initiate and make their interest known… though there are some crazies out there who go overboard, to be sure.

Simply put, if a guy is interested in you, he will make it painfully obvious.

After my last breakup, I was back in the dating scene for the first time in YEARS.

Seriously, the last time I was single, Tinder didn’t even exist!

I had to learn how to gauge the interest of a man very quickly. The ones who were not interested in anything with me didn’t respond right away and didn’t seem enthusiastic about getting to know me.

Let’s be real, there were only one or two of those, though.

On the other hand, the ones who were interested made it very clear.

  • They texted, sometimes an overwhelming amount.
  • They wanted to make plans.
  • And they asked questions.

Those are the signs of someone who is interested, and they’re also signs of someone who may come back after a breakup. 

And I let them chase me.

You see, if a guy really is interested, you won’t have to do much work at all. They’ll take care of it for you. All you have to do is:
  • Respond, not immediately but in a timely manner
  • Be your charming self
  • Avoid coming on too strong in your responses
It’s quite a powerful feeling, really.
So embrace it, and prepare to be chased.

What Makes A Man Come Back After A Breakup

First, we are going to start at the end. We are going to cover what it takes for a guy to admit he made a mistake in letting you get away and return to the relationship.

Men are stubborn.

It may take a lot for him to admit he was wrong and show up at your door at 4 am with his tail between his legs. But it can happen.

Part of it has to do with you, and another part of it has to do with the chase, and the push/pull theory.

The first thing that will make a man start to question his decision is No Contact.

There is nothing as powerful as the lack of you to make a man miss you. And time and space away from each other is the only thing that will accomplish that.

Do not contact him after the breakup.

Instead, go into an immediate No Contact period.

I’m not going to expand too much on thatin this article because there are already countless articles on this site that will spell out why No Contact is so necessary, and how it affects your Ex Boyfriend’s brain and emotions.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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When Will He Start To Miss Me

I know it can be like torture waiting for your ex to reach out – all you want is for him to initiate. You find yourself asking,

“How long before he calls me after a breakup?”

“When will we get to the meetup phase?”

I know it’s tempting to push the process and try to make it go by faster. But the best thing you can do is let it all happen naturally – if you do that, he will begin to chase. It may not happen as quickly as you’d like it to, but it will happen.

It takes varying amounts of time for a guy to miss you after a breakup take place. Clichés are clichés for a reason. It does tend to be true that men and women process breakups differently.

The cliché is that women cry into a tub of ice cream and watch romantic comedies, and men go out to party and sleep with as many new women as possible, that doesn’t last forever. Women tend to process their emotions early on, while most men suppress them.

BAfter some time, women tend to begin feeling better and move on more fully, just around the time that men start realizing what they gave up. That is why moving on without moving on can be so effective.

There isn’t really an exact timeline on how long missing you will start to take. Chances are 30 days of No Contact will only start to get things moving in that direction. You’ll have some work to do before he begins to actively chase. But the changes that you start making to your life during No Contact, those will set up the important base to get your ex missing you and reaching out.

How To Make Him Chase You

We’ve established why it is important to make your ex boyfriend chase you, but we haven’t really gotten to how you can influence that decision. Through the ex recovery process, you are interacting with your ex in a number of ways – social media, texts, calls, and in-person meetups. How do you make him chase you in all of these areas?

When my friends ask me for dating advice, I always tell them to care less.

“Whoever cares less wins,”

I say. And I don’t mean that you should actually care less, but I mean you should appear to care less.

What does that mean? It basically means you can’t make the object of your desire the center of your life. Your ex needs to know that you have other things going on in your life that take priority over him. No one wants to be the center of someone’s universe – it’s way too much pressure.

Think about it – when he’s chasing, and you’re taking a passive position, you are in the position of power. You know where he stands, but are not reciprocating the same amount of effort. But how do you get there?

It begins with getting him interested in what you are doing during n by utilizing social media. You’re not reaching out to him, but he is seeing how you are slaying your each and every day inadvertently, so his curiosity will be piqued.

The next step is text messages. Don’t respond to him right away. You’re a busy woman, make him wait until you have a free moment. If you are too available, it signals desperation, which is not attractive. Don’t double text. If you don’t get a response, don’t follow up. Wait a few days and try again.

Now when it comes to texting, and when it comes to meetups, the Push/Pull theory will be a friend to you. When your ex starts to pull away, it may feel natural to try harder, but what you should do is stop and take a step back. This works especially well is you gnatted a lot post-breakup. When your ex realizes you are no longer pursuing, something will go off in his brain and he’ll subconsciously start to wonder why you didn’t reach out again. Did you lose interest? Did you meet someone else? The sad truth is that sometimes, what it takes to make your ex want you, is him thinking you are no longer an option.

Maintain a little mystery during conversations via phone and in person. Don’t give it all away. Maintaining an aura of secrecy can be alluring and make your ex want to spend more time with you. If he pulls back, your impulse may be to push to get him interested again but don’t follow that. Instead, keep yourself busy and find something else to occupy you. Your ex cannot be your life. No man should.

It is also normal for a man to rubberband a bit after a good interaction. If you feel like you got somewhere with him in conversation, but then get radio silence for the next few days, don’t fear. Just give him time and space and let him come back to you.

You really maintain so much more control over the situation if you can make sure to curb your impulses and let him initiate. As an experiment with an ex, I once went a full month without initiating, just to see the results. Sure, we went without talking for a day or two here or there, but we actually ended up talking almost every day – with him beginning every conversation. He wants to chase – he’s biologically built to do it. And you’ll feel better and more confident on your journey if you take a step back and let him chase you, too.

Tying It All Together

As creepy as it sounds, men are biologically built to chase, to hunt. And we, as women, are built to be hunted. Keep in mind that you don’t have to be super sweet and available to a man to chase after you. In fact, feigning disinterest can be a very powerful tool. Hell, in season 6 of Buffy, she is terribly cruel to Spike, but it doesn’t make him love her any less:

Spike: Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you wanna dance.

Buffy: Say it’s true. Say I do want to. It wouldn’t be you, Spike. It would never be you. You’re beneath me.

-Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Fool For Love”

Her words hurt him, but he still ends the episode holding her. I’m not saying to be outright cruel to your ex. But don’t be too available. Let him come after you. Engage is some push/pull.

Men don’t want a woman who will make him her world. They want a woman who has a life and other interests outside of him. And you should want that for yourself, too.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

As tempting as it may be to go after your ex boyfriend during the process, take a step back and re-evaluate . Go out with friends, take a bubble bath, focus on work. Essentially, focus on anything that makes your life better and has nothing to do with you rex and I can almost guarantee that your phone will be lighting up with a text from him in no time.

So, now that you are all filled in on what’s going on and how to deal with it, let’s talk about your particular situation. I want to know:

  1. The details surrounding your breakup
  2. What you have done since the breakup
  3. And, after reading this article, what you think your next move should be

Our experts will get back to you and you will discuss what your next best move should be to get your ex back.

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160 thoughts on “You Should Let Your Ex Come To You; Here’s Why!”

  1. Avatar

    Renee

    February 21, 2021 at 6:05 pm

    I broke up with my ex on February 16,2021…we had been together for 4and a half years ..we had been going through the motions these last couple of months..he never told me he loved me, always had something negative to say..never had anything positive to say to me..I was always at his beck and call.. whatever and whenever he needed me I was always there… Valentine’s day was the last draw, he left me at home for 6 hrs alone..came back with a box of chocolate covered strawberries..I had prepared a nice dinner..with candles and wine..he sat at the table on his phone the entire time..later on his phone started ringing at 1:30 a.m.and he kept cutting the ringer off…. Finally he got up and left for work..I cudnt sleep..I got up and packed my stuff..I left him a 6page letter explaining that I was through…I text him that I can’t take it anymore..he said OK..

  2. Avatar

    Sara

    January 25, 2021 at 7:44 am

    I ended things with me because he kept pushing me away and I didn’t feel like a priority at all. I went into no contact he reached out 2 weeks after asking me what happened I told him I felt unappreciated. He asked for a second chance I wasn’t in a healthy place to give him a second chance. This is the second time I end things because he pushed me away. First time was because of family death but second idk. I just completed my no contact after breaking it. I think I am going to wait for him to initiate because I dont think if I reach out he will know how to appreciate me. Idk tho

  3. Avatar

    Melissa G

    December 15, 2020 at 2:50 am

    I’ve recently started talking with my ex again. Not sure how long it will last. We are in the push and pull stage. We may talk a few days but then I may not hear from him for several days or a week. Then I send a message. I know I shouldn’t. Today he said he couldn’t wait to see me again and I said I know its been forever. So he has been contacting me the last 2 days. Should I continue on the same path? Let him do all the texting? Last night I told him I wasn’t feeling well so today I went to doctor. So when I got back I texted him to let him know the results. Was that wrong of me? He responded with a sweet text.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 23, 2020 at 10:46 pm

      Hey Melissa, if you have completed a NC and you’re in the texting phase then no it wasn’t wrong of you to tell him about your day just make sure that it is also interesting and fun conversations to keep him interested in conversations too

  4. Avatar

    I Vatinchik

    December 3, 2020 at 11:51 pm

    My ex and I dated for a year and covid made us live with his parents for 3 months and then in his room for a month before we started arguing over space and then i didnt get the message as I got attached (classic! Gave too muchlove away!) and so he suddenly asked me to leave and find another house. As of covid, it was so hard to find anything fast, and the room became available next door in the community house. I asked him back once a week after breakup by writing a letter but he was cruel and said he was happy with the decision. 3rd month now, originally was solid anxiety and crying on my side, and no talking, but then he started to come randomly to my house garden as his house can use our hose pipe etc. Recently he started giving me hot and cold behaviour, hot only once by talking nice to me on the street when we bumped into each other and complimented my new hair. Then he messaged me randomly over the last 2 weeks, to ask about his lost suit, and yestetsay he was very mean to me over the texts making drama about me blocking other people’s car and then being even rude when I stood my ground! It ended up me blowing up at him back, saying I won’t take this attitude and he needs to leave me alone if being a jerk, and so he apologised and said its just living so close making little things winding him up. What’s your thoughts, does he still have feelings for me and tries to stay in touch even being horrible at times, or trying to move on, but cannot bcuz i live next door? (I’m gonna move out netx month now that u cam afford it too) surely I don’t understand if he really is uncomfortable around me, or pretending and wants to find a way of getting closer? (clearly struggled with the way of doing it) much appreciated any advice!!
    With love, Iris

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 28, 2020 at 6:44 pm

      Hi vatinchik, I would say that he is maybe going through the emotions people do during a break up and knowing you are next door isn’t helping that. I would suggest that you follow a No Contact rule again after your last fall out and start working the program by reading the articles on this website to help you through

  5. Avatar

    Rachel

    December 3, 2020 at 3:56 am

    I screwed up by removing him as a follower on Instagram he can see my posts but not my stories.. he did look up my page the one night just to view my story specifically but nothing after that night

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 4, 2020 at 10:29 pm

      Hi Rachel, chance your account to public? I’m pretty sure they can see everything then?

  6. Avatar

    Kim

    November 30, 2020 at 1:33 am

    I was hurt about something and might have taken it the wrong way, he did sort of say he was sorry. Then he turned it and said I was insinuating he was insensitive. I tried talking it through after a little bit I asked if we could start the weekend over because I drive an hour to see him and he just seemed mad at me and asked me to leave. I said i have to drive an hour and we don’t get much time together just the weekends could we not talk and just finish the weekend together he still wanted me to leave. We haven’t talked in 2 days.

  7. Avatar

    Melissa

    November 15, 2020 at 10:48 pm

    I was swept off my feet by a man who chased me so hard that I almost avoided him, because it seemed like an abundance of red flags in words and behaviour. We have mutual friends, and one swore he had a good heart and encouraged me to give the relationship a try. I let me guard down, and genuinely loved being with him, and started to feel myself falling for him…only to notice about 7 weeks in, him slowly retracting from the relationship. Gone were the amazing good morning and good night messages about how he can’t stop thinking about me, and how lucky he was to have found me…hours would pass before my texts were responded to. Weekend getaway plans never came to fruition, slowly plans got cancelled last minute with a frequency of “I’m not feeling well.” Gone were the evenings of reservations at amazing restaurants. In the beginning, he had originally told me he was divorced for 2 years…I found out 3 weeks in from a different friend that he was actually still married – albeit separated. His excuse for his dishonesty was that “it’s semantics,” he’s about to sign the agreement, and he knew I wouldn’t date him knowing the truth (untrue I told him – lying is more of a dealbreaker for me though). When his behaviour towards the relationship clearly started to flip, I gave him weekly outs – asking if he needed time for himself, since he no longer seemed invested in the relationship. I also found him on dating apps that he told me he was deleting early on, since he “only wanted to be with me.” Always an excuse why the profile was there – but he was adamant he wasn’t actually on any apps. He would get upset at me for asking this, begging me not to break up with him, and promised things would get better. Week after week, things just got worse – until finally be divulged he’s been really ill, blind spots/night tremors, and that he’s seeing his doctor. The divorce had taken a turn he didn’t see coming, and his financial loss to be huge. The stress was taking a toll, and his feelings towards me hadn’t changed – but he wasn’t handling anything well. After over a week of not seeing him, we spent an evening together as though nothing had changed. The next day a friend screen shotted his “recently active” profile on tinder and I snapped. I forwarded it to him, along with a slew of assertions of horrible he had treated me, and wished him well. He called me immediately, denying again – claiming he just went out to make sure he was off, and proceeding to cry about how stressed he’s been feeling and this is just adding to it. As usual, I consoled him to stop crying and said I believed him. We were supposed to do something Saturday, but all day he dodged my texts and calls – so again I snapped and called it quits Saturday morning. He then called me saying he needed a 1 week break from me, he couldn’t handle all the stress I was putting him under with the accusations. I told him it was a permanent break, and that no one had ever made me feel better and then worse about myself in such a short period of time. He assured me I could do what I wanted, but he’d be here waiting for me – not on any apps, not dating anyone else. 2 days later I found him back on tinder – and snapped, called him a liar once again, and thanked him for teaching me to be less naive. He said he was bored, and went on to see what he had missed in the past 3 months, and that he never wanted to break up with me, and that he still cares about me, and isn’t chatting with anyone else. A few days passed with no contact, and I couldn’t help but miss him, and asked if we could talk…he’s texted a bit, but hasn’t given me a time for when he’s ready to discuss anything. I know I should have gone cold, but I’m having so much trouble processing how something that was amazing for 2 months could flip so quickly. I’m heartbroken.

  8. Avatar

    stacy rico

    November 5, 2020 at 6:38 pm

    He’s not on social media. Im connected with a lot of his family members and we still engage with each other. We broke up almost 3 weeks ago. I haven’t heard a word from him. He got back on dating site immediately.

  9. Avatar

    Tracy

    November 4, 2020 at 2:17 am

    We broke up June 14, 2020. HUGE fight where he left town and I immediately packed my stuff and moved out. He actually blocked me via everywhere but I was already going to go no contact. After 25 days he reached out to me, but was just being rude and insulting mostly (probably reacting to my abrupt move out) so I immediately went no contact again. He tried contacting me about once a month through friends or family, I ignored and did not respond. During my first no contact I went on a couple mini vacations, hit the gym and reconnected with girlfriends. During the second NC I focused and got a promotion at work. All of which was posted to social media even though he still had me blocked on social media. On 9/3/20 he unblocked me and liked a status i put up on FB, so I actually immediately blocked him then. I was not ready to end NC. On Oct 4th he contacted several friends/family and asked them to tell me he misses me. He did get a GF in the month of September which did not phase me. I figured if that’s what was to be then so he it. They broke up in Oct…and he was reaching out to me the whole time. So finally on 10/10 i unblocked him on my phone only. On 10/20 I got a text “tracy”. So I responded. We talked quite a bit that day, even a little about the fight where he apologized heavily. Nothing else after that. Then 10/23 I let him stop by my house to pick up some of his stuff but Kept it brief. No fuzzies. No hugging no acting like I want to get back Together. After he left he texted “you smell so good” then he texted “I’m so stupid”. I said nothing. A few hours later I actually passed him in my car and he texted “headed to the store?” I responded yes to pick up a script. That is the last I heard from him. However on 10/26 he shopped at the store KT daughter works at. He NEVER goes there. It is actually out of his way. I am going about my days. I haven’t reached out. Not even to say hey my kid said she saw you. So I haven’t heard from him right now for 4 days but I’m not sweating it and I’m not rushing it. I think I’m still gunna make him come to me. After all, he screwed up, then continued to. This is 5 months later. I got this far now haha

  10. Avatar

    Mel

    October 19, 2020 at 3:30 pm

    We were together for over a year. We moved in together but it did not last long and we decided to move out the place back to our parents and I also decided to end it because we were fighting way too much to the point I began resenting him inside. In his head we could’ve have a great love, in mine we were not compatible and I think we would be better fit friends and not romantically involved. Since the break up I moved back home and have been focusing on school. Ive been ok for the past few weeks but lately I’ve been breaking down wanting to talk to him but been holding back contact between us incase he doesn’t answer and I feel worse. I just want to know if it will always be this way. If we will ever talk again or if he will ever initiate contact or will he just pretend it doesn’t bother him and block any thoughts of me.

  11. Avatar

    Lisa

    September 30, 2020 at 3:13 pm

    My ex became distant and sometimes unreachable for a day or two, I told him it bothers me and he did try to work on it but sometimes he would and sometimes he wouldn’t, so I stepped back a little because it was frustrating when to me it felt like he did stuff knowing it would make me upset so I’d say I need space so many times he started telling me the ball was in my court which I didn’t understand then one day he hung up on me and ignored me so I texted him and told him I’m gonna start seeing other people he’s way too disrespectful and I’m not gonna take it but we could b friends I only did it because I felt like he was taking me for granted and I was tired of it

  12. Avatar

    Nicole DB

    September 26, 2020 at 10:11 am

    My ex boyfriend and I had been dating for 3.5 years (I’m 23, he’s 24) and doing a long distance relationship the past year. Once the coronavirus hit everything got thrown into a tizzy. My ex had to move back in with his parents and search for a new job. He’s really stressed out because he’s not sure what he wants to do with his life and where he wants to live. However, we hadn’t gotten in any sort of fight and he seemed to still love me. Then out of the blue last week he calls me and says he doesn’t think he sees me in his future. That after 3.5 years we would have to either get serious or end the relationship and he doesn’t want to get serious. What should I do? He’s never acted this way before and I really want him back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 6, 2020 at 11:08 am

      Hi Nicole, that can be hard to understand but I think your ex is going through a “cross roads” mindset right now where he doesn’t really know what he wants. For you, you need to go into a No contact so that he can see what life is like without you in it full time. Work on yourself during this time, and show him you are doing great using social media and any mutual friends you share. Read about the holy trinity and being ungettable and apply this, then at the end of your 30 days you can start reaching out again to start re building rapport and your connection.

  13. Avatar

    T.

    September 9, 2020 at 12:21 am

    My gf just dumped me after 3 weeks of her being distant and talking about going to back to her ex after 15 months of us dating. She dumped me via text. Not 4 days later she is literally telling me how upset she is that I havent chased her and about her value. I love this girl a lot but I’m also scared that this can be the new normal. Any advice or thoughts?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 10, 2020 at 9:04 pm

      Hey T it is hard when they consider going back to their ex, but it is what we work with here too. If you want her back then I suggest you read some articles and apply the information to help you following the no contact rule and then the being there method if she has gone back to her ex

  14. Avatar

    Rosie

    September 2, 2020 at 7:42 pm

    Hi,
    I was with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years and he broke up with me last week. We kept arguing and tried to start fresh but he said it’s not working He doesn’t want to be in the relationship right now. He doesn’t want it to end but feels like it has to and that his mind is made up. I wanted to sort things out but he said no we’ve tried my mind is made up. He sent me an accidental Instagram Saturday night which I ignored and we haven’t spoke since Saturday morning when we gave our stuff back

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 7, 2020 at 10:02 pm

      Hey Rosie, so if you wanted to get your ex back then you need to start working the program, step one being no contact. Read articles that apply to your situation and make sure that you follow being Ungettable

  15. Avatar

    Ehu

    August 31, 2020 at 1:41 am

    After our break up I did the no contact for 30 days we ended up meeting to exchange our items that lead to dinner and then kissing and heavy petting. He told me how much he missed me and still loved me and asked if I felt the same way. The next day expected to hear from him and didn’t date you I still haven’t heard from him so I shot him a text that said what’s up I’m confused about what happened how do you feel about us and he said he still loves me and always will love me but he needs to continue to To be by himself and let God lead him to where he supposed to be… Whatever I know my worth and I know what I don’t want. I still love him but if he’s not willing to commit I’m not gonna be his or anybody’s fuck buddy. Peace out I’m done

  16. Avatar

    Maphuti Ivy

    August 25, 2020 at 7:12 pm

    Feeling empowered like I need to take control of the situation of me n my ex that I love but I broke things off because he told me of his first girlfriend and I couldn’t take it to be a second option I need to be a priority and I want him to chase me.

  17. Avatar

    minh

    August 15, 2020 at 7:00 am

    Hi. I had been with my ex-boyfriends for 4 years. We just break up 2 weeks ago. I really miss him and want he back to me even He spoke he did not love me anymore. In time No contact he blocked my Facebook, Line anything. I am so depressed. But I detected that he had my Facebook account and still accessed it. We break up because I am so hot temper. We usually argue. However, I love him so much. I can not contact him now. Do you have any advice for me? please Thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 15, 2020 at 4:07 pm

      Hey Minh, you are going to be forced to follow a No Contact until you are unblocked that will come with time. For now your focus needs to be on yourself, read articles about the holy trinity and being ungettable and apply this to yourself

  18. Avatar

    Amber

    August 9, 2020 at 7:12 am

    My ex and I were together for a year. he is going through a divorce and told me he didn’t want to see other women but wasn’t ready for a full commitment as he is trying to find himself again after his long terrible marriage. he became distant and there was no affection so I left. I didn’t do no contact as we did not break up on bad terms however any contact has been initiated by him and I reply when I get around to it. he signed up for a dating site a couple of days after we broke up but has never actually messaged anyone on there (we have been split for 3 weeks). He has been messaging me more and more with one silly reason or another lately that feel like an excuse to talk to me. In time when he gets himself in a better position in life I may want to see if we can try again but I am not sure if he is just lonely or genuinely misses me. Any advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 11, 2020 at 7:07 pm

      Hi Amber, going through a divorce is said to be one of the most stressful things a person can deal with so I understand him wanting to be single to deal with that especially when its a new relationship. I would suggest that you follow a No Contact if he is just getting in touch with you for non essential things it is not really letting him feel that he is going to lose you. I also suggest that you read the Ungettable articles and work on that information in your own life, and let him see what he is giving up on if he does not act fast.

  19. Avatar

    Daneille Thomas

    July 31, 2020 at 11:14 pm

    Dating him for the second time. This time I thought it was good and we would make it…We have been seeing each other for 8wks we lived an hour apart and he had no car so we basically just texted, video and called each other. He got his car 3weeks a go and still no date. I felt as though I was wasting my time and he didnt want to be with me so I left the situation. I guess I need someone to tell me I did the right thing.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 1, 2020 at 10:14 pm

      Hey Daneille, if you feel that you were wasting your time in the relationship then yes you did the right thing

  20. Avatar

    Kris

    July 23, 2020 at 11:24 pm

    Hi – my ex and I broke up because I caught him in a lie. We didn’t date for that long so I’m wondering if because we only dated for 3 months if the rules still apply here. I’m not sure I even want him back, but I do still miss him. Even though we only dated for a short time, we talked consistently everyday and he put in consistent effort. After catching him in the lie, he apologized and quickly said that I would never trust him again. I was surprised that instead of trying to see how he could make things work, he just decided I would not forgive him and accepted things. So maybe he doesn’t want to work things out. Since the breakup he’s sent me a few things on Instagram that he says reminded him of me… thoughts about my situation?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 24, 2020 at 11:01 pm

      Hey Kris, yes the rules still apply, but if your relationship was short you could follow a 21 day No Contact if you wanted to, but if you ended on bad terms 30 days may be best. It sounds as if he is open to talking to you in the future, so just follow the rules of NC work on yourself so that you are Ungettable and your ex realises that he has lost someone great.

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