A few days ago I was talking to my partner in crime, Coach Anna and I asked her one simple question.

What are your clients struggling with the most?

Here was her exact answer,

I’m seeing people struggle with COVID and the quarantine as they try to get their ex back. Specifically how to be ungettable with those constraints. All in all I thought producing a high quality podcast episode where the both of us sat down for an hour to discuss what we are seeing with COVID and it’s impact on our process would be a good idea.

Now, this is nothing new. In fact, Anna and I did a similar episode before but this one is a lot more tactical based and that’s what our users typically prefer.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

The Rules For Getting An Ex Back During Quarantine

Chris Seiter:
Okay. Today we have Anna and me coming back on the YouTube channel and the podcast, wherever you’re listening to this, talking about, you remember quarantine, COVID all that stuff. But we’re going to be talking specifically about some of the difficulties you may be having during the no contact rule in quarantine, or since the UK just went into lockdown again, Anna’s saying she’s hearing a lot of her clients complain about things related to that and how you can handle these really delicate situations. So while you may not think some of the stuff we’re about to talk about applies to you, it does so pay attention.

Anna:
Yes.

Chris Seiter:
All right. So I do want to preface this by saying unlike last week where I was prepared with exactly what to talk about this week, I came in completely unprepared. So I am totally shooting from the hip here.

Anna:
Same here.

Chris Seiter:
Yesterday Anna texted me, she says like, “Hey, are we talking tomorrow?” And I was like, “Yeah, of course we’re talking.” She’s like, “What are we talking about?” And I go, “What are you hearing about?” And she literally goes, “Well, being ungettable during quarantine, what to do during no contact during quarantine.” There seemed to be a big quarantine vibe there with her and the clients that she’s coaching. So I guess we’re going to talk in depth about those things.

Anna:
Right.

Chris Seiter:
So what should we start with?

Anna:
Maybe we should start-

Chris Seiter:
Should we define what a quarantine is for people?

Anna:
Hopefully people know, because lots of people around the world are currently in quarantine, which totally stinks. I know.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So let me just put it this way. You’re talking to coaching clients, they’re complaining about quarantine. Is there any specific thing that they’re complaining about with regards to the quarantine?

Anna:
Well, the first part is just understanding how their relationship fell apart and often being in quarantine, or what’s been happening with COVID for most of 2020, and honestly, into 2021. What did we say the first time we addressed this topic? We thought that people would still be seeing the effects of-

Chris Seiter:
Midway, right.

Anna:
… COVID until midway of this year, right? And so people who have had breakups during this period of time are just like, “Well, how did that really happen?” And really what it is, I think is that when people’s ability to make choices, right, to have a freedom around, “I can go or do whatever I want whenever I want. And no one can restrict me unless we live possibly in a communist country.” Right? But even then you can still have a level of freedom to go about and do things. When that’s severely restricted, people get very upset and not having control, not having that autonomy, ends up turning into frustration with whoever you’re quarantined with. Or frustration about not being able to see your boyfriend or girlfriend, which ultimately ends up in fights or someone feeling distanced or someone feeling like they’re alone and a breakup results. So it’s just understanding… And also there’s been an increased rates of depression and anxiety, because of these lockdowns. So, I mean, there’s a reason why we’re in quarantine, right?

Anna:
Because people were dying of COVID and we don’t want other people to die, but the flip side of that is the restrictions on our ability to make decisions about what we do and when is having negative mental health impacts, which results in breakups.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. I mean, as weird as it sounds too, you look at the stock market, the stock market’s up, but we are technically in a recession. And usually when recessions happen, we see depression rates go up, suicide rates go up and as well as domestic violence rates go up. And one thing that Anna and I have noticed is, I remember when the lockdown happened in 2020, I was like, “Hey, Anna, I don’t know how this is going to pan out here with your coaching schedule. I’m not sure how you’ll be able to fill up.” And what happened Anna?

Anna:
What did I say? I said, “I think we will fill up a lot.” And we did, because-

Chris Seiter:
It turns out lots of people break up during quarantine.

Anna:
Right. Because I mean, not to get morbid about it, but the domestic violence cycle, the domestic abuse cycle, the breakup cycle follows that pretty closely. So as soon as we saw that the domestic violence rates were going to go up, I thought immediately breakups will go up as well. And we were right. We were unfortunately busier last year than we were the years prior.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. It’s one of those bitter sweet type things, like it’s sweet. “Hey, we got good business coming on.” But it’s also better to the fact that we don’t want people to be breaking up. So…

Anna:
Yeah. I mean, that’s just an overwhelming amount of heartbreak. So COVID has been really difficult on people all around. Even the strongest couples, and I would think you and Jen, you and your wife are a strong couple. I think me and my husband are a strong couple. I would think even strong couples experience a level of stress that they wouldn’t have had before.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. So the only experience I can give with that is before COVID hit, I was on bed rest. A lot of people were complaining about the lockdown into quarantine, but I was like, “What’s the big deal. This has been my life for a year now.”

Anna:
Yeah.

Chris Seiter:
But I can say that I grew depressed. And it was extremely hard. I mean, Jen and I weren’t even sleeping in the same bedroom because I was physically incapable of it. I could not like… If she rolled over and hit me, I’d be in a lot of pain. I was recovering from surgeries. So that was difficult. We even seen an impact on our child. Before, you could go out and have these social gatherings where your child can go out, but now that’s not possible anymore.

Anna:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Chris Seiter:
And that trickles down, I think, into every area of relationships, especially when it comes to the tactical things that you can do. A lot of the strategies that we have, are revolving around the fact that you’re all building up towards this in-person interaction where you’re seeing your ex well, now all of a sudden that that rug has been pulled out from under you. And a lot of people are left really with like, “Okay, well, how do I handle… What are the rules? What changes?”

Anna:
What are the rules?

Chris Seiter:
Right.

Anna:
Yeah.

Chris Seiter:
And I imagine you’re seeing a lot of that in your coaching calls.

Anna:
I mean, when it comes to no contact, what I’m seeing is questions around, “Well, how do I show that I’m ungettable If I’m stuck inside all the time? And there even some places where you’re not allowed to go out and run, right? Or hike.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah.

Anna:
And so the answer honestly is, you’re going to try to have to find ways to be active or find hobbies that are okay with being inside. Whether it’s reorganizing your closet, okay. Reading more, redecorating, exercising inside, setting up challenges for yourself mentally or finding additional ways to be more active. I saw that recently, obviously because of COVID, there’s an increase in people buying Pelotons, bicycles, The Mirror, Hydro, like these kinds of things. So people are trying… And obviously zoom classes and one of our moderators is also a Zumba instructor or so. She’s doing more Zoom classes for Zumba. Being ungettable is not necessarily going out and eating at a restaurant, drinking at a bar, dancing or hiking. It is really trying new things. And so you have to get more… It’s going to test your ability to be creative, honestly.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. I mean, I’m always sitting down with a book type guy, for example, sometimes you’re just naturally scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and Anna’s posts pop up and she’s always posting pictures of a book she’s reading and quotes, or really creative things like that. So you could definitely try, I think things like that. But I think also we were talking yesterday about the gaming side of things and trying to incorporate that into… That’s another creative approach you can take throughout this.

Anna:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Chris Seiter:
You’re also right though. I think there’s a real big issue with people thinking that ungettable is all about going out and looking like you’re having the best time of your life partying with all the girls or all the guys. It’s not. It’s a lot deeper than that. So I guess my theory on it has always been, what is it that is the most important thing in your world? And what is your ultimate passion? Maybe spend time on that passion and have someone like a parent or a brother or sister or something, or a roommate take a picture of you doing it, post it on Facebook or social media. But I mean, this leads really seamlessly into the next thing, which is, you really can’t… Social media’s importance has gotten so… It’s so much bigger now in the quarantine world, isn’t it?

Anna:
Yeah, 100%. Because more people have time to be at home or in an enclosed space. And you can only watch so much TV or so much Netflix. You can only rewatch Bridgerton so many times before you are totally over it.

Chris Seiter:
Well, I was into Cobra Kai a couple of weeks ago on Netflix.

Anna:
I haven’t seen that yet. I have actually been watching One Division on Disney Plus.

Chris Seiter:
Oh yeah. I keep seeing what’s her name? Anya from Buffy’s in that.

Anna:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Chris Seiter:
I don’t know if you knew that.

Anna:
Yeah, I did. I thought of you.

Chris Seiter:
But I haven’t watched [crosstalk 00:10:15]. See. My brother, he came to visit Thursday. Don’t worry, he got COVID tested before he came, so we’re safe. But he had just rewatched and the entirety of Buffy. And he spent the entire time saying one word and attaching it to one episode and I would have to guess the episode. And I won.

Anna:
You won?

Chris Seiter:
That’s how insane I am.

Anna:
That’s amazing. You are like a Buffy super fan.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. I’m weird that way. Also Angel, I like the Angel, the spinoff show.

Anna:
Didn’t you and I have this discussion about who we thought was better for Buffy, Angel or Spike?

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. Yeah. I’ve always been in team Spike, even though I know it’s irrational.

Anna:
No, I think Spike.

Chris Seiter:
I think Spike too. What was it? That Georgia candidate said something about that? That’s what won my heart. That’s how you sway my vote. She was like, “Angel’s-”

Anna:
You’re her understanding of Buffy.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, again, off topic here, but the point is, let’s use Buffy as an example. Let’s say you’re watching Buffy for the first time and you post yourself watching it.

Anna:
Yeah.

Chris Seiter:
There was someone in our Facebook group that was posting a picture of them watching the movie Holes. And I was like literally, “Hey, is this the movie Holes?” And it was. So doing stuff like that can show like, “Hey, you’re not just sitting around thinking of your ex. You’re being active.” And I think that’s the key.

Anna:
Yeah, absolutely. And that’s the point. So whether it’s a new hobby, like cooking, or learning to cook or trying to be vegan or trying to eat less dairy. Whatever it is, talk about it and just post it on social media. At least try to make it pretty as possible. But you know what I’m saying? Just try your best.

Chris Seiter:
One of the things I’ve always really admired about you is, I feel one of my shortcomings as a quote unquote, ex recovery coach, is I feel I’m always too big picture. And sometimes people want to hear the big picture, but they also want to hear the tactical micro approach instead of the macro approach. I feel one of the best qualities you have is understanding the macro approach, but giving people practical micro things that they can do. So much so that I’m like, “I need to get better at this because Anna’s putting me to shame.” I think it was a couple of interviews we had done a couple of days ago where I was just like, “Oh my God, this is stuff I never thought of. And it’s so smart.” So I guess what are some of the micro things people can do? Besides social media to-

Anna:
Well, obviously, [inaudible 00:13:11] social media, I mean, you want to think about your trinity, right? What are you doing for help? What are you doing for wealth and what are you doing for relationships? That’s how I always break it down. So, help, it’s pretty straight forward. I’m working out differently.

Chris Seiter:
Do 500 sit-ups in the morning. Pretend you’re riding on a Peloton bike.

Anna:
That’s right. That sort of thing. It’s also mental health. It’s, “Am I having the right conversations with my emotional support system? Like my therapist or my coach.” Or if you’re a part of the ERP group, “Am I supporting people appropriately?” That also connects into relationships. So are you spending more time with… In some form or fashion, if you can’t do it in person, at least by phone, or by Zoom or by Skype, however it is, or text and reconnecting with friends and family and having Zoom family parties, things like that. That’s what you can do. Now wealth, obviously you just got to kick at work. I mean, that’s what it ends up coming down to. I don’t know how to show you’re working hard at home.

Anna:
Because you can only show so many pictures of you being on a Zoom video. But I did see a really funny post the other day. Because I had asked in the group, “Can you tell me what was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?” And someone had posted a picture that said, “Blowing on your mug that contains wine, makes people at work on your Zoom work call, think that your tea is hot.” I love that. That is amazing. Whoever up with that… I know they post it on their social media, but that’s amazing.

Chris Seiter:
That’s pretty funny.

Anna:
And that’s where you can take a selfie of yourself, right? With your mug and have something like that written on there, “Blowing on your tea.” Makes people think it’s hot so, when it’s really your beloved wine.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. The other thing with wealth, a lot of people sometimes don’t have a job they’re still in college. So just kicking ass at school, I guess can fit into that?

Anna:
There’s nothing wrong in taking a picture of the stuff you’re studying, especially if it’s visually appealing. What if you’re a school for graphic design or mathematics? I mean, anything that has graphs or has pictures of any kind, which is basically almost every major with the exception of maybe literature, is going to have something that’s pretty visually appealing.

Chris Seiter:
Even literature you can think can have some stuff that you can visually thing, like-

Anna:
Right. Like a quote.

Chris Seiter:
Right. Right. But yeah. I mean, one of the things I’m actually use you as an example, Anna. Anna has always told me, one of her goals is to go back and get her doctorate at Duke. She’s like one of the Duke crazy people. So during March madness, I always have to cheer for Duke to win.

Anna:
Yes.

Chris Seiter:
Even though Zion Williamson is in the NBA now and they probably suck. And that coach K got sick from COVID and is not…

Anna:
Yeah.

Chris Seiter:
But anyways, the point is something like that, maybe you’ve decided you want to go back to school and finish school is a good thing. So Anna has finished school. I’m not saying that I’m saying she wants to go get the extra schooling, like the crazy people do.

Anna:
Yeah. Super school.

Chris Seiter:
Super school. [crosstalk 00:16:42].

Anna:
But I mean there even free classes by Harvard and Cornell and MIT that you can take. My husband and I took a class together about witchcraft and different religions. And it was pretty awesome, through Harvard.

Chris Seiter:
That sounds like my schooling in humanities. They made us do… The humanities thing was one semester of learning about Shamans in Africa or something in their belief systems. And I really was almost at the point of dropping the class. Because I was like, “I’m not going to use this.” But I finished it up so that’s good.

Anna:
But it probably was fascinating.

Chris Seiter:
I found it just stupid, but maybe that’s just me. I don’t want to offend anyone. But I was a 20, 21 year old kid who was just like, “I want a girlfriend. I want a girlfriend. I want a girlfriend. I do not want to worry about Shamans.” Looking around to try to find-

Anna:
Any of these girls in my class cute?

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. And so there was one and she sat, I think behind me and I was like, “This girl is pretty.” Until she said she was into witchcraft. And then I was like, “I think I’ll take a hard pass.” That sounds scary.

Anna:
Yeah. Hard pass. No thanks.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. So that class was interesting, but I got great, interesting stories out of it. And I learned a lot about other cultures, which I appreciate it much more now that I’m in my thirties. But the point is you can go back to school to show your wealth.

Anna:
Yeah.

Chris Seiter:
But one of the things that I noticed people really struggle with is how to focus or improve their relationships because so many people are so one track mind on their ex, it’s like, “That’s the only relationship I need to improve.” Do you have any advice for people that aren’t focusing on the right things with relationships?

Anna:
Well, I mean, what I’m seeing is that they jump too far ahead to, “What happens when we start dating?” And you need to focus first on going through a pretty solid texting phase and honestly the slower and easier or more comfortable you can make texting phase, the better, because what you’re trying to do is time you’re texting phase and you’re whatever you do virtually, right? Whether it’s gaming or virtual trivia nights or virtual escape rooms or doing virtual puzzles together or watching Netflix or Disney Plus together, whatever it is, it’s really… The value chain in lockdown is essentially this, texting, phone calls or video chats and then virtual dates and then regular dates in person. Right?

Anna:
So you’ve got to go through three different steps before you can get to this fourth one. So what you’re trying to do is build anticipation and excitement to spending time with you in person, timing it as best you can with lockdown ending or you’re capable of including each other in your bubble. Or in your circle of people that you can spend time with. So you need to not jump ahead first and foremost because safety first and then texting and then get really creative about what you’re texting about. Right? So your entire-

Chris Seiter:
We actually, we talked a lot about what to text about in the last interview where we really picked on Anna is really amazing, Rose Bowl text, we always bring up in every episode.

Anna:
Yes. But that Rose Bowl text was amazing. So yeah.

Chris Seiter:
Well I’ve always found the new quarantine value ladder chain as interesting because it’s essentially what a long distance relationship person would have to do. You’re texting and then you advance onto either chatting on the phone or doing a zoom talk. And then once you’ve done enough of those things that you almost blend them together where you’re texting and also doing those things, but you’re always building up towards a one big romantic meetup. Well, essentially that’s what COVID has done. It’s turned everyone into a general long distance relationship scenario.

Anna:
Exactly.

Chris Seiter:
Little bit more complicated than that obviously, but-

Anna:
Right. And then I have some people who say, “Well, we always got along together, much better in person. And he or she, my ex is terrible at texting.” Or, “My ex is terrible at phone calls and they hate doing stuff online.” And that’s when I say, “Well…” I mean I think this, which is, “Your ex is a potato. So why do you want your ex back?”

Chris Seiter:
Here we go with the potatoes. [crosstalk 00:21:35] So the potato thing is something that I knew nothing about until I interviewed you for the first time on your success story. You were like, “Yeah, we’ve been calling a potato.” I’m like, “What is a potato?”

Anna:
Exes are potatoes.

Chris Seiter:
So there you go.

Anna:
Yeah.

Chris Seiter:
Now what is the reasoning behind the potatoes?

Anna:
Well, when we’re so excited to get ahead of no content. And we’re like, “We’re going to have these interactions with our ex and we’re so going to get our ex back super fast.” And then the reality is that our ex probably is emotionally behind us by a few weeks. And so they haven’t processed things and they may still be feeling a little negative or super cautious about even interacting with us. So they are reluctant to respond or they take longer to respond or their workout is much shorter, like one or two words. And so therefore we have to give them the time and attention that one would a raw potato, if you want to eat it. So I mean, what do potatoes do? They just lay there, right? Until you poke them or turn them into something that’s much more interesting to you.

Anna:
So that’s what we’re trying to do with our exes. My battle buddy, at the time she was talking to me and saying, “He’s not doing anything. I don’t know why he’s not responding very quickly.” I was like, “He’s a potato. He’s just a potato.” And then we talked about that in the group. And the next thing you know, people are referring to exes as potatoes.

Chris Seiter:
You started the trend first off. And the second thing I want to make clear is that you did not explain the potato thing anywhere near as good as you just did when you first told me about it. You were just like, “Yeah, exes are potatoes. They just don’t talk to you. They just lay there like they’re nothing.” And it was like-

Anna:
Yeah, they are.

Chris Seiter:
Okay, you didn’t really explain like, “Yeah, you have to give a little attention to it. And you plan a potato.” You’ve gotten much better at explaining it to people. [crosstalk 00:23:34] But now the Facebook group is inundated with potatoes. I literally woke up one day and I’m just like, “What the hell are these people talking… Potatoes?” And then I find the source is you. But now it’s become such a… That might have to go in the next iteration of ex boyfriend recovery program or ex-girlfriend. [crosstalk 00:23:54] Have a whole section titled, “Your ex is a potato.”

Anna:
Our exes are potatoes essentially.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah.

Anna:
The goal is to get them to a place where they’re waffle fries or whatever.

Chris Seiter:
Waffle fries are great. You’re just making me hungry now.

Anna:
Or scallop potatoes, or mashed potatoes. Those are really good.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. They are really good.

Anna:
Okay. So anyway, long distance relationships are… People who are customed to distance relationships will probably tend to do, as I’ve seen, pretty well in lockdown quarantine scenarios. Because what they do is they understand the long game. And they normally start off with short, friendly interactions, and then build to longer and longer interactions. I think in quarantine, that’s a good way to look at it. Rather than the value chain itself look at, I want short, friendly, positive interactions first. And then next I want to build up to friendly, positive interactions of medium length. Of maybe a couple of hours. And then I want ultimately to be at really long, positive, hilarious, fun, positive, experiences of say, watching movies together. Or having a Buffy marathon virtually online, right? Stuff like that.

Chris Seiter:
I tried to get Jen to watch. I even handpicked, handpicked the episode I thought, for sure would get her, which is Hush if you’re wondering. The great episode they don’t talk.

Anna:
Yes. That was a fantastic episode.

Chris Seiter:
That was one of the best. See the episode that got me into it was the body, which is the super depressing one. But it’s so… I don’t want to spoil anything. I’ll tell you after.

Anna:
Okay.

Chris Seiter:
But it still wouldn’t work on her. So sometimes Buffy marathons can be a little hit or miss if your partner isn’t into it. But I actually want to take this concept and ask you a question personally.

Anna:
Sure.

Chris Seiter:
All right. So you’re coaching clients… Because this is ultimately, I think, the burning question a lot of people have. They’re thinking, “Okay, well, I’m going to have to approach this like a long distance relationship. And that’s fine. Does that impact your overall chances of success at all in your opinion or from what you’ve seen?

Anna:
No. I mean, what impacts your chances of success really are your level of patience, your emotional control, how strategic or smart you are about things and how creative you are.

Chris Seiter:
I would also add in-

Anna:
Regardless if you’re long distance or in the same city. It doesn’t matter.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. I’d also add in if you fail no contact 50 times. That’s probably not going to-

Anna:
Well, don’t fail no contact 50 times. Just get through it the first time. You’ll be fine.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah.

Anna:
And even if you fail it a couple of times, that’s fine. Just don’t do no contact 10 times or more.

Chris Seiter:
That’s what I’m saying. Yeah. That will have an impact negatively on your chances. But what you’re essentially saying, so everyone is clear, this is an actual ex recovery coach. Our top ex recovery coach. It does not impact your chances.

Anna:
No.

Chris Seiter:
You will still have a really great chance of getting your ex back, even in quarantine using our programs. And according to Anna you will have a 90000% chance to… What was it yesterday? Or the last time it was like, you’re finding 90 something?

Anna:
My coaching success rate ends up being in the mid nineties, if you include people who just have decided, “Hey, I am amazing and I think that my ex is no longer the best emotional fit for me.”

Chris Seiter:
So 95% though she’s probably going to say, “No, it’s 98.99.” So…

Anna:
It’s in the mid nineties.

Chris Seiter:
So she’s better than my first surgery. My first surgery had a 70% chance of failing and it failed. So Anna is better than surgeons folks.

Anna:
Better than your first surgeon, right? Because you’re other surgeon-

Chris Seiter:
First three.

Anna:
Better than your first three surgeons.

Chris Seiter:
There you go.

Anna:
Because the other one is the country’s best.

Chris Seiter:
98%. So I don’t think Anna has quite gotten to 98% yet, but that’s a challenge for-

Anna:
Yeah, I mean not as good as your fourth surgeon. I will live with that regret for the rest of my life. It’ll be okay. I don’t know how I can sleep though.

Chris Seiter:
These are the funnest episodes for me.

Anna:
I have a lot of fun too.

Chris Seiter:
I was telling you before, they don’t feel I’m having to teach. You do all the teaching. I just make all the stupid comments.

Anna:
I do not do all the teaching. We both do teaching.

Chris Seiter:
And somehow I’m the marketing guy.

Anna:
We’re fine. We’re okay.

Chris Seiter:
I guess so. I guess so. Okay. So is there anything else that we’re missing out on here with the quarantine side of things?

Anna:
I think people just need to not freak out, right? We’re not going to be in quarantine forever. So just take this as an opportunity to say, “Okay, this is going to test my ability to be creative. Because I will not be stuck inside and neither will my ex or anyone else I’m dating for the next three years. It is just probably for the next four to six months. It’ll be okay.”

Chris Seiter:
I think we see that a lot actually just from the people who work with us or the people in the Facebook group. A lot of people have a tendency of going to the extremes. And I think that’s a normal thing. A lot of the people coming to us are a little bit more anxious than secure. So they have a tendency to go to the extremes and that’s not necessarily the most healthy approach to starting off. So it’s like Anna said, take the long game. Don’t take the short game.

Anna:
Yeah.

Chris Seiter:
And a quick question though.

Anna:
Sure.

Chris Seiter:
Last thing, what happens if you’re in quarantine and your ex has moved on to a new girl? Because I feel a lot of people in those specific situations feel this need to rush the process.

Anna:
I mean, okay. Well one, I guess a up question to that is, are all of you in the same city?

Chris Seiter:
Let’s say yes, we’ll make it super simple.

Anna:
I mean, if all of you are in the same city, that means you both are experiencing the same level of quarantine or lockdown. So you’re basically doing the being there method. And we did a video on that. So in the chance of getting an ex in the being there method, is pretty good. So that’s my answer to that.

Chris Seiter:
So basically, watch the being there method video. I think that was actually the very first one when Anna started becoming, I guess a co-host of this podcast. That was the very first video that we actually did. And it was an hour one.

Anna:
Yeah.

Chris Seiter:
We were basically answering everything you can actually wonder about the being there method. And the being there method’s what we recommend to people who have exes who have moved on to someone else. So watch that. Before we go here, I want to give a chance to… Why don’t we talk a little bit about coaching and how it works. Because one of the reasons that I love having you on the podcast, people actually get to see how your brain works and why you so successful and why I only hire the best.

Anna:
Yeah. I mean, Tyler and I are pretty great. I mean, I love working with you. I think you’re amazing. But when it comes to coaching, I like my clients to be really prepared. So I love it when people come in with tons of questions to ask me. But when we chat, what I’m looking to hear is, I want to hear all about your relationship. How you both fell in love? What you think contributed or what you think contributed to the downfall of your relationship? I want to hear all about the breakup itself and then what’s been happening since the breakup occurred. We’re probably going to get a little bit into your own personal history, your ex’s relationship history. And then we answer all of your questions and then I create, or Tyler creates an individualized game plan for you, which is pretty extensive. If a person were to get all the homework that’s laid out, it would be 16 pages long.

Chris Seiter:
It’s pretty extensive guys. So when she was training Tyler, because Anna is like top dog. If we were in a war, she’d be like the ACE in the… Okay. So anyways, I realized I am talking to women here, not men. So anyway, Anna is our top dog, right? So she’s copying me on all the training materials that she’s training Tyler on. And I’m just like, “What is…?” So she’s showing me like, “This is the standard thing I usually do when I send out homework to people.” And I’ve seen the homework before, but I really got a chance to look through it. And it was like, this just keeps going on and on and on. So it is extensive guys. And to put this in perspective, I can’t speak for any of our competitors or anything like that.

Chris Seiter:
But any of our coaching clients who’ve come through, literally this is something I don’t even think I’ve told Anna. In our support we’ll get things like, “That was the most amazing session ever. This is worth all the money possibly.”

Anna:
Oh yeah?

Chris Seiter:
Because of just the game plans and the homework alone is so, so extensive. And yeah, Anna is just top dog. She’s awesome. And Tyler-

Anna:
Well, I mean for me, I have a consulting background, a strategy consulting background, so I’m used to billing by the hour. So and making sure that that time that we have together, which is limited, is as powerful and effective as possible. I’m not there just to earn some money, I’m there to make sure you are armed with information. That is hands down the most important thing, everything that I am recommending or that’s in the homework, even the potential reading or the suggested reading, because we also offer a suggested reading list in addition to ERP materials obviously, are things that I’ve read. I’ve literally read them and applied them in different situations, in different relationships situations.

Anna:
So nothing is being recommended that we haven’t tried ourselves first and haven’t seen work. We have to see it work first and then include it and find value in it for it to make its way into the homework that we recommend to you. Everything’s methodical, it’s structured. We’re not going to tell you really bogus stuff. Like, “Here are the 500 things you can say to get your ex to fall back in love with you.” We are not telling you that. We’re not telling you to write a letter. We’re giving you a, step-by-step how to handle your no content, how to handle your sphere of influence, how to handle social media, how to handle texting, how to communicate well, what you need to do and think about during your no contact in order to be well-prepared to enter building rapport phase. So you will be ready. As ready as possible.

Chris Seiter:
And this is the game plan or the materials that we actually do end up providing to you is something that we trained every single one of our coaches in. So Tyler is also going to be providing this level of detail as well. And funny story about Tyler is, the first thing in the Facebook group that I did with him, was on attachment styles. So now everyone only thinks he can do attachment style stuff. He was telling me today like, “Yeah, they all think that I’m the…” I can do more than the attachment style stuff. They know that, right? And I’m like, “Oh yeah, well it’s probably because we introduce you as the attachment style guy.” So I got to do a better job of making people realize he can do more than attachment styles. But yeah, I mean, Anna is super amazing and look, it’s also one of those things where we do discount follow-up sessions.

Chris Seiter:
Sometimes people feel the need to have another session. If they just want a nice check in or something like that. We do discount followup sessions. We try to work with people as well.

Anna:
Yeah.

Chris Seiter:
So I feel coaching with Anna is the best decision you could possibly make.

Anna:
I mean, I love helping people. I mean, I do believe that every single person on this earth deserves love. Deserves to love and be loved in return as much as they give out. So hopefully we get your ex back. If not, we’ll do our best to get you someone even better.

Chris Seiter:
That’s ultimately all you can really ask for.

Anna:
Yeah.

Chris Seiter:
And look, if you want to coach with Anna, she’s booked up this month, but whenever you’re watching this, we’re opening coaching back up in February for Anna. But look, if you want a coach, it’s pretty simple. Just go to our websites, either ex-boyfriend recovery or ex-girlfriend recovery.com and just go to the coaching page. I’m actually going to work on trying to make things a little bit easier to find with regards to coaching and searching for things on our websites. So hopefully those will be easier, but if you’re confused where to find it, just simply look in the navigation bar or the hamburger menu, and look for coaching or products or something like that. Or if you want you can just contact us and ask, “Hey, where’s the coaching link?”

Anna:
I mean, I love my coaching sessions. I mean, the way I approach it… I know that I can maybe come across as a little scary, but I’m really not. I just want to have a really fun conversation with you or not maybe fun because no breakup is fun. Right? But at least a really interesting one where you feel heard and understood, and we come up with something that makes sense for you. That’s really the goal.

Chris Seiter:
Yeah. I mean, ultimately don’t be scared of Anna.

Anna:
Don’t be scared.

Chris Seiter:
I know she looks like a video game character.

Anna:
I know weird because I have these contacts, but I’m totally fine.

Chris Seiter:
She’s really down to earth and very easy to talk to. I don’t know really how much more I can say other than, Anna is awesome, Anna is awesome, Anna is awesome.” It’s like staying in the mirror. Like if you say it three times in the mirror, Anna will appear in the mirror for you.

Anna:
Funny.

Chris Seiter:
So yeah, if you’re interested in coaching with Anna, what I’m going to do is you’re watching this on YouTube. Just simply look in the description below. There’ll be a link for coaching. If you’re listening to this on a podcast and, “Hey, what’s up.” Hopefully you’re listening to this on the drive home. And just when you’re safe, stop, open your phone up and buy coaching from us. We will… No, I’m just kidding.

Anna:
Safety first at all times.

Chris Seiter:
Safety first, and then buy the coaching from us. Okay. All right. Well, this was a blast. We’ll see you guys next week for our annual weekly thing.

Anna:
Annual weekly thing? Yes.

Chris Seiter:
Should we on the air, figure out what we’re going to talk about next or just do what we did last time and…

Anna:
I don’t know right now what we want to talk about. Maybe we talk after this ends?

Chris Seiter:
How about this? It’ll be a surprise for those listening.

Anna:
Oh yeah.

Chris Seiter:
Come in next week. It’ll be a surprise.

Anna:
Okay. We should definitely talk about it before the day before.

Chris Seiter:
We probably should. So anyways, see you guys. Say bye-bye Anna.

Anna:
Bye.

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2 thoughts on “The Rules For Getting An Ex Back During Quarantine”

  1. Avatar

    Eve

    February 20, 2021 at 10:18 am

    Me and my partner broke up, we have been together for three years and the break up was a complete blind side. This was about a month ago.

    I have been in no contact now for just under three weeks and have noticed changes in my confidence especially related to fitness and work. When we split my ex told me he still cared very much for me and before we started no contact he explained how hard the break up was for him and he often cried.

    I’m very confused as to if he still does care or if he’s moved on? I have seen on social media that his previous girlfriend has started to follow him more but I don’t know if this is anything I should be worried about?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 7, 2021 at 2:39 pm

      Hi Eve, I wouldn’t give it too much thought he is going to be in touch with other people while broken up it is completely normal its their way of having a distraction. Keep your focus on yourself.