The no contact rule has been well documented on this site.

It is a time to separate yourself from the pain and sadness of the recent break up and focus on yourself. No contact also gives your ex a chance to miss you and realize that he made a mistake breaking up with you.

During no contact, you’ll be honing in on relationships, health, and wealth all while your ex wonders just how you’re managing to keep that spring in your step and carry on without him.

But what happens when you just can’t cut your ex off entirely?

What do you do when no contact seems impossible?

Limited no contact of course!

Indeed, if you really want to know everything about this NC process, then go pick up a copy of my ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book“, you won’t be disappointed.

However, this is NOT meant for everyone. In many cases, no contact is the MOST effective way of getting an ex back.

So, what is Limited contact?

Limited Contact: Essentially the same thing as the no contact rule except you are allowed to break the no contact rule for certain instances (which will be covered in this article.)

In fact, there is no use beating around the bush anymore, lets talk about who should use limited no contact?

Who Should Do it?

Before we jump into how, exactly, limited no contact works, let’s look at who qualifies for this method of ex recovery.

First are the women who have children with their exes.

Children should never be forced to choose between parents and doing a complete no contact at the expense of children is never a good idea.

Next, if you share bills with your ex try to switch the accounts or splits the bills so that you no longer must pay together.

However, if you are unable to separate the bills you may contact your ex only regarding payments.

If you have school or work with your ex.

Then you will be able to utilize this form of no contact as well.

Finally, if you and your ex live together you might be eligible for limited no contact.

It is important to make every attempt possible to move out or have your ex move out, but we will talk more about that later.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

How to do it?

The key to making limited no contact work is to really invest in yourself.

Lets assume that you are going to be seeing your ex at least once a week if not more.

Actually, no…

Lets step back a little further.

Lets assume that you were dating a man and you broke up with him. You did not want this man anymore and decided that you just didn’t love him. Now, you see this man somewhere at least once a week. Every time you see him he looks miserable.

He starts badgering you about getting back together.

He cries in public, in front of your friends even.

He’s unwashed and his hair is greasy and he’s just a mess. Are you going to regret your decision to break things off with this man?

Heck. NO. You’re going to run the other way and honestly probably laugh at his desperate attempts.


Let’s imagine you break up with the same man, for the same reasons, and just like before you must see him once a week or more. Every time you see him he smiles, nods, and walks right by you. You notice that he’s been working out. Every time he passes you he smells like heaven and Sharon in accounting SWEARS he’s been out on the town with a new girl AND he’s up for the next promotion in his department.

What then?

You’re going to want that man back!

Now I’m sure you can see where this is going… Be the second man!

If you must (and I mean must) see your ex be bold, beautiful, and bubbly.

But how?

Bubble It Up.

No one likes a sad sack.

On the other side of things, you need to maintain limited no contact.

It’s a sensitive balance.

Lets say that you both live together.

You wake up Saturday morning and without saying a word you get yourself ready to go out for a day with friends. On your way towards the door your Ex calls over,

“Are you leaving?”

You reply,

“I sure am!” and out the door you go.

Now let’s say he asks,

“Where are you going?”

You reply,

“Just out” with a sweet little smile and bubble your way right out the door.

Use this bright but reserved manner in all situations.

Dropping off the kids?

Smile, relay any CRITICAL information (no small talk.), and then away you go.

Beauty Vs. the Beast

As we mentioned before no one is going to regret breaking up with you if you look like a swamp monster.

So, what to do, what to do?

The most important part of being beautiful is FEELING beautiful.

If you aren’t confident it’s going to show.

Even if you don’t really feel confident fake it.

Now that you are a confident creature it’s time to shine.

Make sure that you look your best whenever you might bump into your Ex.

Pick Up Your Copy of My Popular eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book“.  It is epic in length and comprehensive in detail!

Have your hair brushed and styled, try to dress in the most flattering manner possible.

Have those pearly whites brushed, and wear a favorite perfume. T

o go beyond the encounters with your Ex start trying to eat healthier and drink more water (it’ll do wonders for your waist line AND your skin). Also attend fitness classes, hit the gym several times a week, or just commit to walking some laps during your lunch break.

You’ll start to notice that you look better and the endorphins released will give you an energy and a confidence boost.

Win, win!

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Dare to be Bold.

In this limited no contact situation you are going to have to take some risks.

If you and your Ex have children together make a point of having him watch the kids so that you can go out on a date.

(Pro Tip: 100% try to go on an actual date. But if it just doesn’t happen for you, get dolled up and go visit with a friend or see a movie by yourself. If your ex thinks you’re out it will be somewhat effective, but actual dates are the best.)

If you work with your Ex have flowers delivered to your desk for him to see.

And make a bit deal about it on social media because we all know men spy on their exes on social media after a breakup. Positing a simple picture like this will do,

Use social media to play up your independence as well. Show him that you truly are getting along just fine without him.

Remember, he broke up with you.

He decided that he did not want you anymore. Do NOT limit your experiences to spare his feelings. If he didn’t want you to see other people he would have kept you. Do not be afraid of upsetting him or making him angry. If you get an angry response it means that he still cares. If he asks you about your dating life give a quick “I’m doing what makes me happy” and remove yourself from the conversation.

Inevitably your Ex is going to notice that you are only talking to him about the important stuff and aren’t making or engaging in small talk. When he asks, “What’s going on with you?”

Do your best to dodge the conversation. If you can give a quick smile and throw out a “nothing” before removing yourself from the situation then great.

However, if your ex corners you and you have no method of dodging the conversation REMAIN CALM. Simply take a deep breath, look him in the eye and say “You broke up with me. Remember?” if he tries to continue the conversation just state “I really have nothing else to say.”

Just stand your ground and eventually he will get the hint that you are strong woman who can’t be swayed and will drop it.

Remember, HE made this decision.

HE needs to face the consequences of those choices.

You are worth more than he is giving you credit for. Simply hold on to your confidence in front of him, once you’re alone let your breath out and pat yourself on the back for standing strong.

Think you’re going to scare your Ex away by being “mean” and maintaining your limited no contact?

Lets use Hollywood here for a minute. I’m sure most of us have seen the Notebook.

Did Allie give in to Noah right away?

Did she badger him and beg him and text him 40 times in a 10-minute period?

No. She laughed in his face and told him she wasn’t interested.

So, what did he do?

He CHASED her!

Go ahead and think about any other movie you want. Men don’t go for the groveling girl. They go for the girl who KNOWS HER WORTH.

So, know yours.

The Live-In Situation

I cannot stress enough the importance of moving out.

Don’t let ridiculous excuses like pets or who would get the sofa stop you. If you can move out, do it.

This will increase your odds of success greatly. Now, let’s say that for financial reasons you absolutely CAN NOT move out, and neither can he. There are some tips and tricks that will make a world of difference.

First, do your best to stay out of the house as much as possible.

If you are both just lounging around you are inevitably going to get sucked into a conversation and just like that you are going to have to restart limited no contact all over again. So, go out on dates with other suitors, visit friends, or just take yourself out for some me time.

Getting yourself out of the house will make him wonder where you are spending your time, and more importantly WHO you are spending it all with.

Second, be prepared to see and hear things that you aren’t going to like.

Your ex is a human and therefore is going to have urges. Especially now that they are newly single. You are going to see them getting dressed up to go out on dates.

You may see them smiling at their phones and get the sinking feeling that it’s a new love interest. Your Ex may sleep with other people. They may date other people. You MUST take these things in stride.

Remember that he is NOT YOURS.

You have no right to forbid him from seeing other people. Whenever you notice these things either ignore it or go for a walk or a drive. Leaving the situation will give you time to cool down and remember what the long-term objective is.

Third, living with your Ex means that he is going to see you when you are not looking your best.

Do your best to limit these times. Try not to spend too many days lounging around in pajamas with unwashed hair. Also, draw attention to your… ahem, assets.

Buy yourself some scandalous pajamas (shorty short, teddies, etc.) and make sure to wear it around in front of him.

If he’s living in the living room get those jammies on and strut your way into the kitchen for a glass of water.

He is sure to notice and it will get him missing you.

Which brings me to number four, do not sleep with your ex.

I repeat, do not sleep with your ex.

We all see what that leads to.

It’ll be easy access and he will more than likely try but just don’t do it. You are in limited no contact so that conversation should not come up at all. But say he’s bold and just flat out asks or goes for it- do not do it.

They say that there’s no reason to buy the cow if you’re getting the milk for free. If you give in to having sex with your Ex then you’re taking away a good reason for him to commit.

Performing limited no contact correctly can result in two situations.

Either you get your Ex back and he recognizes your worth and treats you the way that you deserve to be treated… Or you find yourself.

You recognize your worth and you find another man who treats you the way that you deserve to be treated.

Just remember that even if you do not end up with this man it does not mean your life is over. If you follow you Limited No Contact and work on your health, wealth, and relationships you will find yourself stronger and more independent than you were before.

(This was a guest post written by Elphie Upland)

What to Read Next

How to Make Your Ex Miss You Without Talking To Him

By Chris Seiter | 129 comments

I Messed Up The No Contact Rule

By Chris Seiter | 8 comments

The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)

By Chris Seiter | 6764 comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

57 thoughts on “What Is The Limited Contact Rule?”

  1. Avatar


    March 1, 2021 at 4:07 pm

    Hello. So my situation is a little tricky.. I moved into my boyfriends mother’s house about 3 years ago ( we had been together for 4 years ) and recently he said he needed to take a break and be alone to figure out what it is he wants etc etc. He said he has no problem with me staying here for as long as I need as he has moved down to his empty aunts house. I am stuck whether I should make it my priority to get myself out of here for a period of time or if I should stay. Ideally I would be gone already in my mind but with the pandemic it’s proven difficult, although I do have the option to stay at a friends house… please help!! Also I have been initiating the NC rule for a week and then he text to say that he needed to grab stuff from the house so he’d see me soon if I was there. Which I was, we chatted briefly I was upbeat and said i was doing well and was just all round bubbly, he was really quiet and not so upbeat(just for context)

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 9, 2021 at 10:24 pm

      Hi Molly it sounds as if you are doing all the right things, for now make your focus being getting your own place and getting on your feet. He needs to feel the loss of you before he is going to start considering if he made a mistake letting you go.

  2. Avatar


    October 28, 2020 at 9:12 am

    My ex and I live together. Moving out is not an option because I am disabled. Going for a drive and doing things for myself are pretty hard because I depend on him for most everything. 2 weeks ago he moved a new girlfriend and her kid into our home. I sleep in our bedroom, they sleep in one room and the kid in the other. It’s a 3 bedroom house. I want to buy your program but do not have the money to pay for it.
    Since she has been here, he and I are still having sex. He still says he loves me and doesn’t seem to want me to go anywhere. I can’t just go out or anything like that because he supplies the gas and all. His new girlfriend he moved in here is a very clingy and needy woman and makes me want to gag.
    But I can’t figure out how to turn my impossible situation around. Please help me!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 28, 2020 at 10:44 am

      Hi Amy, I understand that you are dependent on him with your situation, but is there no where else you can go? The other woman moving in and you still being there has to be an awkward enough situation without the fact he is sleeping with you both! I think you need to take action, stop sleeping with him, and tell him you cannot deal with this anymore.

  3. Avatar


    June 19, 2020 at 12:42 pm

    My exes mum died and our lives went awful for both of us. Four months after the death I told him we need a break (we are both working in separate countries now too for five months) it’s his mums birthday tomorrow (I’ve done no contact starting three days ago when I said we needed the break as I loved him and felt he needed to focus on family at home that were relying heavily on him). Do I send him a text on his mums birthday?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 20, 2020 at 1:31 am

      I would avoid reaching out if you have been doing NC as you do not want to have a negative emotional response if he is struggling with missing her

  4. Avatar

    Kristi Michele

    June 15, 2020 at 11:18 pm

    My ex and I split when I was four months pregnant with his son. We got pregnant really quick in our relationship but tried to jump into living together and it too much too fast and totally imploded. When we broke up I was devastated and spent most of my pregnancy trying to get back with him. After I had the baby things got fairly hostile, lawyers were involved and I was no contact for about a month. Now things are better, he visits three times a week and is really friendly with me and wanting to help out as much as possible. We’ve had a few late night phone conversations and possibly flirty texting sessions, but it was hard to tell. I asked him if he wanted to hang out but he said he isn’t ready and that he thinks we are heading in a good direction. He says he doesn’t want a relationship right now and is working really hard on himself. I feel a sense in his body language that he still has feelings for me but he definitely isn’t biting. I’ve done most of the reaching out so far. Is it too late to try a LNC? I’m thinking I might need to pull back and be ungettable for a while..

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 16, 2020 at 10:44 pm

      Hey Kristi, no it isn’t took late to start limited NC but it is important that you stick to it and work on your Holy Trinity

  5. Avatar


    April 18, 2020 at 10:56 am

    Hi! My bf broke up with me, we had a 4 years relationship and live together every single time it’s a fight he decided to leave the house and every single time is me the one to always try to solved things and he always come back, anyway I’m tired of being me all the time who does the first step, so we supposed to go to do some errands together and he never called so at this point I’m waiting to see what happens but I need documents that they are really important and my car which is his pound it’s the first time I haven’t call him already for a week what should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 21, 2020 at 11:55 pm

      Hi Kim if you need those things urgently then I would send a direct text asking for those things and that alone. If you can wait then I suggest waiting for as long as possible.

  6. Avatar


    March 18, 2020 at 12:34 am

    So I the official break up was a little over a month ago. A week and a half into that he came home and said he wanted nothing to do with me and wanted to move out (we just signed a 2 year lease in September) so we have been working around each other in the apt. He usually stays with friends or has been traveling and only came home in the AMs. I started LNC on 3/5 – was doing it before that but after an incident earlier that week he still seems incredibly angry so felt pushing the official LNC date back a bit made more sense. I am doing 45 days LNC. Since the start I have only had to interact once in reply to a bill. I kept it very short and gave him the info he needed and that was it. He reached out on Friday to let me know his flight was moved to Sunday to which I did not respond and then called me later that day and texted me again to make sure I got the text. I responded to none of these. He then texted me Sunday that he needed to talk about the upcoming week. I did not see the message as I was out but when I did I said it was crazy at the moment, shoot me a text so I can respond faster. He replied that I didn’t have 2 minutes to get on the phone. I never responded as I asked him to text me. I had to see him Monday am and he was irate. He accused me of “playing games” and being a hypocrite for not responding to him and not calling him. I was very calm and said I have responded to anything that requires a response I was unable to speak on the phone I asked you to text me. What is it that you want to discuss? He threw out some nasty comments and left only to appear later that night with groceries as for the first time he has decided to stay at the apartment. I decided to go and stay with my sister for the next 2 weeks as I didn’t think living on top of one another made sense but I am curious if I need to restart LNC? The 2nd interaction of the day when he returned home I asked if he was staying he wouldn’t reply and finally snapped that he was “too busy.” Obviously a dig bc I was unable to speak with him when he wanted me to. He said this is what he wanted to talk about on the phone but since he didn’t tell me what he wanted to discuss and refused to text me and let me know I never called him to find out. He was very frustrated and said he knows I’m always on my phone and I am purposely doing this. I said look we are not together anymore I have my own life and I am not always on my phone like I was when I was always talking to you. We can discuss the dogs and bills when necessary. I packed my bag and left but am wondering if I can continue on with day 13 of LNC or do I need to restart?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 18, 2020 at 2:37 am

      Hi Alexa so as you kept yourself composed I would say that you are able to continue with your NC from day 13 but from how he has been I would suggest that you follow a 45 day NC rather than a 30 as he is angry and emotional himself. Make sure that you are working on yourself during this time but it sounds as if you know what you are doing

  7. Avatar

    Alexa Calder

    March 13, 2020 at 11:56 pm

    So my ex and I broke up about 3 weeks to 1 month ago (it came in stages). First stage was after a fight where he wanted to break up and take space to see if he actually missed me but never wanted to lose me in his life, 2nd stage was 1.5 weeks later where he came in and said he basically wanted nothing to do with me and wanted to get away from me and our dogs as soon as possible, 3rd stage he is cordial but has made some fairly cruel remarks the one time I rose to the occasion and pushed a convo even though I shouldn’t have. We currently share an apt as we have a 2 yr lease. I am looking to move while he is staying with friends but moving with breaking the lease, etc. is taking some time. He has been traveling on and off for work but when he is here does come home in the AMs to walk the dogs, shower and change and will sometimes come at night to get workout clothes. He usually texts me when he is coming over just to give me a heads up. After buying the ERP PRO I entered into LNC (roughly 3 weeks post I want nothing to do with you 2nd stage breakup) but am having some difficulty navigating what messages to respond to and what not to. So far it has been 9 days. He reached out once about bills and I will only respond about that with a short message and left it there. What do I do when he reaches out to say hey coming by in the morning, will walk the dogs. Or stopping by to get gym clothes. If it is not a question do I even respond? If it is about walking the dogs do I go so far as to say OK or just leave it. Today, for example he was due back from his trip – was not expecting him to come back to the apt until this wknd at some point (I wouldn’t know until he told me). He messaged me that his flight had been moved to Sunday so he wouldn’t be back all weekend and he had paid a bill. I did not respond to this. Then hours later I got a phone call to which I did not answer and then right after a text that said “All Good if you’re busy I have to run to an appointment and then dinner but wanted to make sure you got my text. Will be home Monday AM. Will walk the girls.” Now in LNC is this something I respond to because he is walking the dogs or do I just leave it? I want to be polite since we do have to have some contact but am struggling with where to draw the line on what to respond to and what to leave as a NR. I’m focusing on myself but obviously I can’t help but think well if I reached out about the dogs I would want a response but I also know I’m in day 9 of LNC so am trying to figure out the best approach until my 45 days are up.

  8. Avatar


    November 2, 2019 at 6:48 pm


    Well working on myself would certainly be a lot more possible in my own home, so I will have to stop by my place to do things while he is away at work. When i go back after 30 days (if my sister lets me stay that long), i’m supposed to text him while he lives with me? That seems a bit awkward.. wouldn’t talking to him in person be better? I will have to face him eventually, as he wont be able to move out for awhile. Also, before you said i can talk to him about hobbies, does that still apply when i go back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 9, 2019 at 1:04 am

      So, in the situation where you are living with him again and trying to build rapport. You need to have short positive conversations. But still make sure you are not overbearing and spending too much time with him. Give him space, always look amazing, do not have sex with him under any circumstances unless you are officially back together.

  9. Avatar


    October 31, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    Hello guys, thank you so much for the advice. I’m working on all that you suggested but in the time you responded and I sent this, I broke the NC again. I just cant focus when i’m around him and my emotions take over. I questioned him again and again and he gave me more negative answers. Said he only wants me as a close friend and refused to give any answers that gave me “hope”. Said he wants me to move on. It got to the point where he just shut down and wouldnt reply. We made up and were okay around each other again the next day.. but I went to my sisters and have been implementing more of a true NC for the past 2 weeks. Told him “I cant be a true friend right now and i need space. Please dont contact me unless you need something” I plan on going back soon but I still feel so mixed up about everything and miss him so much still. He hasn’t reached out to me or shown any signs of missing me.. Should i try to stay away for a full 30 days? Or come back and try no contact in the house with him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 1, 2019 at 11:40 pm

      Hi Stefanie as you are able to stay with your sister I would do a complete NC unless he gets in touch with you first about the bills/shared responsibilities. As for him showing signs of missing you some exes don’t show any sign and it takes work during the texting phase to get them missing you and interested in you again

  10. Avatar


    October 16, 2019 at 5:26 pm

    Hello, I hope someone can lead me to the right path. This seems like such an easy concept but I have yet to find the right balance.

    It’s been 2 months since the breakup and i’ve failed at doing limited contact a few times now. We were together for 13 years (age15-28), lived together for about 2. Our relationship was good and lengthy with minimal fighting. (this is a major stand out for me from your blog to not do NC) We have a lot of history together and are deeply rooted i feel. The breakup occured because he feels there is a better match for both of us. I think it’s because he wants someone to do more of his hobbies with? Or has a “grass is greener” thing going on. Said he could stay together and be happy but it isnt fair to the relationship. Doesnt want to date for awhile but says it will probably happen in the future. When we discussed breaking up, i asked him to plesse hold off dating until you move out.

    We were sleeping in the same bed for awhile now, but the last major freakout from me resulted in him moving to the couch. Now he’s having better sleep out there, doesnt hug me or try to make physical contact and seems completely fine. He wants me to be a “normal roomate” and comes to me to just casually talk. We help and support each other with hobbies. This seems like a good connection and stepping back seems wrong to me. He’ll even seek for me at times so we can have dinner together in the living room. I’ve been dressing nice and stepping out to be fine on my own and i feel that, but then i get drawn back by his smile. Neither of us are capable of moving out, and I dont have anyone to stay with.

    What do i do in this situation? Should i take back what i said about dating? I love him but this is all confusing me as well. I’m getting to the point of feeling more independent at times and feel maybe i should try dating. If i need to reattract him, wouldnt helping with hobbies help if that was a set back for him? I know this is a lot but i’m at a lost with what is most effective in my situation.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 21, 2019 at 8:56 pm

      Hi Stefanie so you need to do a limited No contact and during that time make sure you spend as little time around the house or him as you can go with friends and be social. dont let him know where you’re going and always look good. To reattract him you need to be yourself your own person and do your own thing, but you can talk to him about his interests or ask for advise / help if you know he is interested in that subject

  11. Avatar


    July 19, 2019 at 7:08 am

    My ex said he doesn’t have feelings for me
    Or love me anymore after us being together for 8 months where he was madly in love with me. After the breakup I told him I wanted to give it a try again and how his decision has hurt me. He told me that he wants to spend time with his friends and pursue other fun things and that even I should find happiness in talking to other people and pursuing my hobbies. He says he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone for maybe a year or two. He says that he wants me to be happy and after the breakup we’ve been talking nicely to each other. But he tells me that we should end the convo cause he doesn’t want me to get attached. Hence the convo is like one between normal friends but he doesn’t give me any hints and cuts the convo short. He says that he just wants to be friends. I have to see him in school everyday so should I use the limited NC rule ? Will he ever want this relationship again ?

  12. Avatar


    May 27, 2019 at 7:51 pm

    We’ve not broken up yet but he told me he needed space to think about it. He was very sad and upset about it (it’s the first time I’ve seen him cry). His birthday is coming on a few days, we cancelled a trip we had.

    He does not have family in our country and I worry he’s gonna be alone. Should I write to him to let him know that we can go out for a bit if he wants? Should I at least wish him a happy birthday?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 27, 2019 at 8:25 pm

      Hey Anna…I think if you are not broken up, then its best to keep the communication lines open.

  13. Avatar


    March 20, 2019 at 2:57 pm

    It’s been almost 2 weeks since my boyfriend broke up with me. We were together over 3 years and had a fight when he told me he no longer was in love with me and doesn’t see me in his future. He had been trying to decide for months how he felt before he dropped the bomb. We live together so I saw him the first few days then I asked him to stay at friends so I could have my space to heal. We saw each other again a few days later at a friends party but totally ignored each other. It really hurt so I left after a while. I implemented the NC but we still have accounts and the house together. This week he is staying at our place and he contacted me about an account which I replied formally about but then we exchanged a few light messages afterwards. Do I need to restart no contact after this?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 21, 2019 at 2:00 am

      Hi Marie! I don’t think you need to restart

  14. Avatar


    February 23, 2019 at 5:04 am

    Hey Chris! I have many of your products. So, what happens if you should probably do LNC but the ERP fellow won’t speak to you? We don’t work at the same company, but we do work in the same field and volunteer with the same organization. The organization is a very small circle of people that meet up together every few weeks. He avoids me all the time. He pretends not to see me, looks away, will look at his phone, etc., to avoid even saying hello, even when he is only a couple feet in front of me. It’s really uncomfortable and awkward. It’s been 3 months since our falling out, we just had “general” problems, and I never GNATTed him.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 23, 2019 at 5:11 am

      Hi Katie….I know these limited NC situations can be challenging…even disconcerting. There is a technique you can use when someone is painfully uncomfortable. Its called, naming the resistance. The next time he starts fidgeting around, getting awkward, just breeze by him, without looking, and whisper in a coy way, “It’s OK…I am not going to talk or bother you”. Then go about your own business. It can sometimes chill things out, even turn things around a bit.

  15. Avatar


    February 2, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    Hi, so my ex and I have split up on and off for awhile now. It’s been 2 weeks since the most recent, but we share a child. We had talked in the recent weeks about taking a few steps back and working on ourselves. He wants to have visitation with his son and family time between the three of us then move towards dating. But immediately afterwards he started seeing someone. He claims they’re not serious and I told him it’s none of my business what he does on his time without our son. I’ve began implementing the limited contact rule because I don’t want to give him the option to have his family “together” and his side piece/rebound/whatever. Am I doing that right? Should I allow him to still come over and just show him how good I am doing? I wallowed, I dusted myself off, and now am working on myself. I’d really like to get back together, but don’t want him to feel pressured. I made the mistake of begging the first few days and immediately stopped when I realized my actions. Thanks for any input.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 3, 2019 at 12:17 am

      Hi Abbey! I do think the limited NC method is a pragmatic choice given the circumstances. You should be proud of yourself for working on being a better “you” with all of the things going on in your life with this situation, your child, etc. Tap into my Program if you have not already as it will help you a lot

  16. Avatar


    September 16, 2018 at 8:53 am

    Hi Chris,
    I have been in no contact for almost now 20 days and tomorrow is the 21st day of my no contact period. I decided to do 30 days of no contact but I might have to meet him on the 25th or the 26th day of the no contact period.

    My situation was that I had given a project to my ex boyfriend before the break up and we were sort of working on it together.
    During this no contact I had to communicate him regarding the work, and made sure to just text him and not call him. And kept the conversation really short.
    After a few days which he had to take something from brother and I had to be the one to give to him, as no one was available at home. And the meeting was literally 3 sec as I just greeted him with smile and handed over what I had to give and just said bye. It seemed like he wanted to say something but then he was simply shocked that I just said goodbye without taking the conversation further. And we both left.

    I have been updating my Instagram and flaunting my new transformation. And he likes my pictures and also sees my Stories that I share. I have been working out and utilising the every moment of the no contact period.
    I am still in the process of my transformation. And still have to update some more pictures.

    So my question is should I continue the no contact rule for 30 days or should I keep it till 21 days as I night have to meet him regarding work on the 25th or the 26th day.
    Or should I just keep the meeting only about the work and continue with 30 days no contact?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 9:29 pm

      Hi Simran!

      I talk about all of this in my ebook “The No Contact Rule Book”. That is partly why I wrote it because I get some many questions trying to understand how NC works in every detail. I encourage to check it out. But I would recommend just curb your NC to around 21 days. Its adaptable based on how things develop.

  17. Avatar


    February 28, 2018 at 3:37 pm

    But we have moved beyond nc…I can say we are in texting phase…we have a chat sometimes…we have good talk when we meet…he talks about past as well as future…he behaves too friendly and close… everything is great…he even wants to be with me, says he is not that happy without me…but despite of all this he is just afraid of a commitment…he says he is not ready for a relationship…and we both have already healed from the breakup…so doing no contact will take me back to the first step.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 1, 2018 at 11:27 am

      He doesn’t want to get back with staying in contact now will make you more friendzoned because why would he need to commit to you if he can still talk and see you without it.

  18. Avatar


    February 25, 2018 at 5:12 am


    Actually my bf broke up with me before 5 months…we used to have too many fights and the time was just against us…we are in college now so its not possible to do the no contact…but without nc, we have come to the next stage where we both have healed from the breakup. We talk almost everyday, like to spend time with each other and we know everything is better and on the right track now!! My ex bf still have feelings for me, wants to be with me but is afraid of hurting me again if we get back together…I tried to explain him that its not true…but he is just afraid of committment!
    How do I make him commit?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 12:02 pm

      HI Sinh,

      aproach nc like this one:
      EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

  19. Avatar


    February 22, 2018 at 1:15 pm

    Reply to the previous comment..

    It is not possible for me to do the no contact as we have to meet almost daily due to college project.
    Though I talk limited but its kind off hard to ignore him due to work.
    How do I make him miss me in this case?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2018 at 4:13 pm

  20. Avatar


    February 18, 2018 at 11:44 am


    I have been trying to do the limited contact as we are in same college.. but whenever I post pictures on social media to make him jealous and insecure.. he texts me asking where am I and with whom!

    If I dont reply he gets a bit furious.. and if I reply saying I am with my friends which include boys he gets jealous.
    He says I am confused about us being together again because you are hanging out and drinking with boys which I dont like.

    What do I actually do now?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 20, 2018 at 12:44 pm

      Nothing.. Restart nc and don’t reply.. You’re not together, you’re not obligated to reply to him.. His anger is his form of control so don’t reply even if he’s angry..

1 2