Today I’m going to show you how long you can expect it to take to get your ex back.

This is something I have written about before but the thing that always annoyed me about that article was my inability to give you an exact answer.

I notice a lot of my peers skirt the issue because no one really knows.

In the world of exes there are so many moving factors that can dictate how long it will take for you to get your ex back.

Luckily, I’m at a place in my coaching business where I’ve gotten more than my fair share of success stories and can actually take a look at the data to come up with a more concrete answer for you.

Exactly How Long It Should Take You To Get Your Ex Back

For this article I did something really interesting and took nine of the success stories I’ve gotten over the past year and looked at how long those particular successes took.

The answer was very eye opening.

You can expect this article to tackle three main issues.

  1. Meeting The Success Stories Of The Study
  2. Getting An Exact Time Range Of How Long It Will Take To See Success
  3. Situations That Make Your Success Take Longer

Let’s go!

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Meet The Success Stories Of Our Study

Over the years I’ve had hundreds of success stories but the fatal flaw with having that many success stories is that I don’t really get to know many of them.

Sure, I’ll get a pretty awesome email or facebook message in the group like this,

But the devil is really in the details.

How long did it take her to see success?

What did she actually do to see it?

As you can see, it really doesn’t help us for the purposes of this article.

So, I thought that before I started writing this article and citing all kinds of data you can’t quantify I’d change things up and only use data that you can quantify.

If you didn’t know, I have a YouTube channel and on that channel I have a specific playlist dedicated to the success stories of my program.

Pretty awesome, right?

Anyways, I thought it would be a good idea to take nine of the success stories found there and look at how long it took them to see success.

Here were the results,

  1. Jessy (2 Months)
  2. Kelly (3 months)
  3. Mary (2 months)
  4. Sarah Michelle (3 months)
  5. Sarah Michelle Again (2 Months)
  6. Sophia (5 months)
  7. Jean (5 months)
  8. Aaron (2 months)
  9. Kris ( 7 months)

Again, if you’d like to watch what they had to say about getting their exes back you can simply visit my playlist here or subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Anyways, seeing the data in one place is one thing but what additional insights can we glean from it?

The Exact Time Range Of How Long It Should Take You To Get Your Ex Back

There are really two data points to keep in mind here.

The first is pretty straight forward.

Based on the data above our average success story took between 2 – 7 months to see results.

Of course, I do feel the need to point out the slight fly in the ointment.

This 2-7 month time range is only after they started working with me.

In other words, if they were broken up with their exes for five months before they started working with me then I didn’t count that time. I felt it was only fair to measure how long my process took to work.

So, the real timeline was probably a bit longer.

Think of it like an equation,

I was never really great at math but x + y = z is a little difficult to solve for when you only hold one part of the equation.

It’s kind of interesting, right?

You hold one part of the equation and I hold the other.

Working together we can solve for “Z” when you get your ex back hopefully.

Now, I do want to say that this process isn’t guaranteed.

I’ve been called a lot of things in my time but perfect isn’t one of them. My job is to give you the best chance possible at getting your ex back and usually it takes anywhere from 2 to 7 months to see results with my process.

However, it is not an exact science.

I am constantly refining and fine tuning it to make it as close to perfect as I can get it but perfection is always going to remain unattainable.

That just goes with the territory.

Oh, there is one more thing I’d like to discuss before I can move on and talk about some of the situational things that can add more time to your overall time frame.

A lot of you may be wondering what happens when you average the success stories in our study together.

Well, that is where things get interesting.

As it turns out, when you average everything together it can potentially take you 3.4 months to get your ex back.

In other words, three and a half months is the average time it takes to see success with your ex after you start working with me or my team.

Again, I wouldn’t look at this like an exact science because it is not but generally speaking if you aren’t seeing progress after three and a half months then it might mean one of two things.

  1. It’s time to give up
  2. You are doing something very wrong

There are also other situational factors to take into account.

Situations That Make Your Success Take Longer

There were four big insights that I gleaned from doing this study.

Things that I never thought to take into account before this article.

In coaching calls one thing I always tell clients is that no two situations are created equally.

What works for one person may not work for someone else.

This sentiment also applies to the length of time it can take to see results.

For example, if you take these four factors into account you can get a gauge on if you are in for a shorter wait or a longer wait to see results.

  1. Situational Factors
  2. The Length of No Contact
  3. The Failure of No Contact
  4. Luck

Let’s take a moment to describe what I am talking about here.

Situational Factors

By far the longest time frame out of the data we used was seven months.

That was from our success story Kris,

The interesting thing about her story was the fact that she was in a long distance relationship.

Generally speaking, long distance relationships take longer to see results in because the distance present certain problems that aren’t present in other relationships.

So, if you find yourself in any of the following situations expect it to add some extra time to see results to your bottom line.

  • Long distance relationships
  • Being in a “full out” block
  • You cheated on your ex
  • They cheated on you
  • Your ex is very unresponsive to you

These tend to be among the most difficult situations we encounter and ironically they also take the longest to see any kind of results in.

The Length of The No Contact Rule

Not all no contact rules are created equally.

If you read my book you’ll know that I am a huge proponent of three specific time frames when it comes to the no contact rule.

  1. The 21 Day Rule
  2. The 30 Day Rule
  3. The 45 Day Rule

What no contact rule time frame you choose will directly impact how long it can take to see results.

The Failure of The No Contact Rule

Another thing I talk about in my book a lot is the fact that only around 20% of my clients actually get through a no contact unscathed.

What do I mean by that?

Well, I mean that they are able to complete the no contact rule without breaking it.

Wait, what happens when you break it?

We actually recommend that you start over which effectively can come close to doubling the amount of time you are in no contact for.

Luck

We’ve all heard the story of the person who was broken up with and then a few days later their ex magically came back into their lives.

In my experience, these people are the exception to the rule. Not the rule itself.

Basically they got lucky.

Sometimes it takes luck to get your ex back.

Never forget that.

What to Read Next

I Regret Breaking Up With My Ex Boyfriend; How Can I Get Him Back?

By Chris Seiter | 118 comments

Doing This Can Make Your Ex Come Crawling Back Ahead Of Time

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

You Should Let Your Ex Come To You; Here’s Why!

By Chris Seiter | 163 comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

85 thoughts on “Here’s How Long It Can Take To Get Your Ex Back?”

  1. Avatar

    Madi

    April 17, 2021 at 7:26 pm

    I was dating for 3.8 years …I broke up with him cause he started doubting. Within 6 days of breakup I had a fling he go to kn about it through my Instagram chat. He cried about it to me for moving on so easily…but actually I was too frustrated…I have been appologising to him since a month n asking him to let’s work on it again…gave him a months time to think about it but now he made it very clear he cannot forgive me or forget what happened its just the bond holding. He doesn’t want to get back. So I msgd him saying in the end I’ll be waiting for u cause my love is not that weak to let it go this easy…he said let’s see were end up.

  2. Avatar

    Lucy

    April 16, 2021 at 6:15 pm

    My boyfriend and I were dating for 9 months and I had been sad and depressed for the last few months but was making efforts to get better and he decided to see it through. Just yesterday he decided to breakup because he said he didn’t love me anymore and he didn’t enjoy spending time with me and was miserable. He said he had been faking it for a few weeks and would rather spend his time with his friends. We’re in college and this was both of our first serious relationships. I still have his stuff at my place but we haven’t talked since. He deleted our picture on Instagram already and seemed happy to be on his own and break up. He said he didn’t think he would regret it and that he was excited to not be miserable anymore.

  3. Avatar

    Tanner

    March 17, 2021 at 6:11 am

    I am having a really hard time with my ex. I know she is the one for me and we’ve proven that with our 1 1/2 year relationship we have been through a lot until I made a mistake of getting a little to upset and we got into an argument, I am trying to get her back but I don’t have any idea how to, Ik she still loves me and I would like to act before that love runs out.

  4. Avatar

    Mima

    February 28, 2021 at 12:46 pm

    My boyfriend of 1.5 years broke up with me a month ago because he needed to “sort himself out” and wanted to go back to being friends for a bit. He started uni in September, but I am on a gap year and stuck at home due to covid. I was supposed to go and visit him several times but the plans fell through due to restrictions. The last time I saw him was 4th January, and it was really good, he told me he loved me and we had a really good relationship. However then he went back to uni and I began panicking a little that he might find someone better than me at university and I voiced these doubts to him. He reassured me that he loved me and only me and missed me so much and couldn’t wait to see me again. A week after this conversation he broke up with me, saying he wanted to take a break but did not really elaborate. He didn’t block me on anything, but then I got a message from a mutual friend saying “have you seen his Instagram story?” And it turns out he had blocked me from his stories but not his social media and was posting photos with another girl at university. I was upset and angry and send a message to this mutual friend basically ranting that “he was obviously sleeping with her and couldn’t wait to get rid of me”. Unfortunately, I accidentally sent that message to my ex boyfriend who rightfully was very hurt and told me he wasn’t going to call me in a few days (like he’d said he would) and he didn’t want to talk anymore. I have been in NC since and it’s been really hard. About two weeks after our breakup I found out he was sleeping with this girl already and I feel as though somehow I drove him to it but accusing him of doing it in the first place? Anyway I still really want him back and it’s only been a month. Is there any hope at all? Thank you xx

  5. Avatar

    Lisa

    February 18, 2021 at 1:27 am

    Hey! So basically I was pregnant and had started talking to this guy, he constantly asked to meet but we didn’t meet up until my baby was 2 months old, but we had been in contact the whole time until then. So anyways when we met we really hit it off, spend loads of time together, he sent me flowers religiously every Friday, our children met and we all spent loads of time together. He had told me about a girl he had previously slept with it happened to be his sisters friend. The only reason he told me about her was she was going to be at a party we would be at and he was worried she might bring it up to me. Then later he had been in her company 3 consecutive weekends and when I tried to speak to him about it, it became an argument. My previous relationship I was constantly cheated on so I feel sometimes I can be a big insecure but I tried to explain to him how I was feeling and he just felt like we had had a lot of drama and he was too old for drama. He did tell me he needed time to think about things we are still in contact and have been split up for 4 months now he says he still likes me but thinks what happened was just a bit crazy. Do you have any advice please.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 19, 2021 at 12:36 pm

      Hi Lisa, I would suggest that you spend this time working on yourself so that you can build your self esteem – I get that being cheated on is hard to deal with in new relationships. But you have to remind yourself he has been honest with you about their past relationship – he chose to tell you. He could have hid this from you. And then when you started showing your insecurities he ended things because he wants an easier life. Give this article a read some of it could help you with your situation – https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-things-that-women-do-that-can-cause-boyfriends-to-lose-interest-in-them/

  6. Avatar

    Kristal

    January 18, 2021 at 2:03 pm

    Hi, my story is a bit messy. I had a 1 year relationship with my boyfriend. We had an argument and I broke up with him. He was chasing me for 5-6 months but I was doing my things, started seeing another guy and I got pregnant. The baby father disappeared but my ex was still there supporting me until today (it has been one year and a half since we broke up). Recently I have asked him to get back together because I still have feelings for him and I wanna be with him. He said he wants me but he is not happy with the situation si he needs time to think and make a decision. But he still wants to come to see me and to be in my life. It has been 4 months I asked him to get back together… he always telling me “I want you but I always wanted a woman with no kids, my heart wants you but my logic is telling me something else, I’m confused”
    So I don’t know what to do anymore to get him back. I have been thinking of going on no contact but not sure if it would work? And for how long?? Any advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 18, 2021 at 9:07 pm

      Hi Kristal, so this situation is pretty clear he does not want children in his life. Or at least not yet which is not ideal as you have your child now. If he does not want to get into a relationship with you, then you need to start focusing on moving on as this is not something he is going to change his mind about unless he thinks that he is going to lose you. I would suggest that you NC him and show him if he cannot accept you AND your child then he doesn’t get to play a big role in your life other than a distant friend until you are over him. Your NC should be the 30 day mark, and you need to work the Ungettable as much as you can.

  7. Avatar

    jennifer

    January 4, 2021 at 4:13 am

    hi, I m under INC and he blocked me everywhere, I still wanna get him back but the process is hard. we broke up because I had depression and I m sad, i demonstrated bad temper. his parents sent messages to me not to find him and my parents said bad words to him but they do not mean it. I. feel super depressed but went on therapies since then, my inc ll end in feb and usually after inc, there are no chances?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 15, 2021 at 10:23 pm

      Hi Jennifer, so you mention you’re following inc? this means indefinite = you don’t ever reach out. However, if you are following a longer term No Contact, I would suggest that you complete a 45 day or even 60 days if you feel you need more time to work on yourself, I would say that the main focus is that you work on your depression so that you are in a better mental place before reaching out to your ex. By working on yourself and doing so, means that you will show positive changes you have made without having to tell him that you have done so.

  8. Avatar

    Diana Frochs

    November 18, 2020 at 7:49 am

    Hi! My bf of 2 1/2 yrs broke up with me 2 months ago. He said he had lost feelings and had doubts about us, but he didnt want to cut me out of his life completely. At first, he said he saw no point in talking to me about his doubts, but after the break-up he said he should have told me what was wrong before it was too late. He wanted to stay friends in the beginning, but after a month he asked me for some space before we could be friends. And yet, we still went out with friends on a few ocassions. We only talked once, and i apologised for my behaviour in the beginning of the break-up. Then he started talking about our families and our pets and he was smiling and seemed to enjoy talking to me, although it was a bit awkward.
    The relationship ended on really good terms, we were rarely fighting. Before we broke up i was really stressed due to covid and family problems and i was taking it out on him. We were so good together and i want him back. Do I have a chance?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 12, 2020 at 8:27 pm

      Hi Diana, I would say that if you want to get your ex back then you need to follow the rules of no contact for 45 days and work on yourself in that time. Then start reaching out with the texts that Chris suggests

  9. Avatar

    Kali

    November 13, 2020 at 9:41 pm

    My ex and I dated for 4 1/2 years. I ended things with him 2 months ago and I’m just now starting to feel the pain and just now starting to work through it. I have an overwhelming amount of regret. I loved him when we broke up and I still do. I just thought that the problems I saw in the relationship were too much to fix and never gave it a chance. I regret not doing that. I want to try again but I know I need time to process the breakup still because I avoided it for so long. I’m just afraid that if I wait for myself to process what happened and move forward that I will have missed my chance to fix things.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 14, 2020 at 10:52 am

      Hi Kali, so it is good that you acknowledged that you need to process your feelings, so use this is as day one of your No Contact and in 30 days time you can re assess how you are feeling

  10. Avatar

    Marriana Morgan

    September 23, 2020 at 11:43 am

    My ex boyfriend and I dated for one and a half years. We’re 18 and we’re each other’s first relationship. We were serious, but things got very bad and our breakup was messy.

    It’s been two months now since he’s left me. A couple of times we’d see each other at the gym. Last night I messaged him and I apologized for the mistakes I’ve done and he accepted it and replied back reassuring me that he has made mistakes to and that he’s sorry. Yesterday was our first and only contact so far.

    I really miss and want him back. During the no contact period I was able to focus on myself and find things that brought me joy, but now that I have looked back in my relationship I’ve realized how much I love him and how lucky I was to be with him.

    I want him back in my life and I want to make things right this time.

  11. Avatar

    Ron

    August 28, 2020 at 12:32 am

    How do I get in contact with your team to potentially try and get my ex back??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 11, 2020 at 7:51 pm

      Hi Ron, you can post your situation here and I can reply with what I think is best moves to make. If you want one to one advice and coaching, hope over to our products and look at the coaching section.

  12. Avatar

    Jen

    August 15, 2020 at 10:20 am

    Three weeks ago I found out that my boyfriend of 10 years has been living a double life. He has been living with someone else for 8 years and they recently got engaged. He managed to keep this from me the entire time. I had suspicions but he always managed to lie his way around them and made me believe him.
    I managed to contact the other woman and told her everything. He confessed to her and she’s ditched him. He’s changed his phone number but we have been communicating via email. He’s been very formal and standoffish with me at times. We met up just over a week ago to talk. He said he wouldn’t give me his new number but might do in a year or so. He said he would keep his email line of communication open and if I really needed to see or speak to him, we could meet or he would find a way to call me. He insists we are over and he wants a fresh start. I still love him and want him in my life. Why would he keep a line of communication open if he wanted me out of his life? I’m really confused as he’s being abrupt and clear one minute and then saying we can meet again at the end of next week the other as I still have questions regarding the last 8 years. What do I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 15, 2020 at 4:00 pm

      Hey Jen this is a hurtful situation to go through and I know how it can turn your world upside down when you think you know someone. Honestly I think seeing him and asking him questions is not going to help you get over what he has done. You need to understand what he did was HIS DOING and not your fault. How he has manipulated the situation and kept you and most likely the other woman in the dark this whole time is just a clear sign of who he is as a person.

      I dont recommend meeting him, I would suggest that you cut him out of your life for a long period of time so that you can focus on yourself and get over the break up and the betrayal that he has caused. You deserve better than being lied to and showing him how you do not need him in your life to be happy is the best outcome for you!

  13. Avatar

    Robert Grant

    August 7, 2020 at 10:23 pm

    Thank you for responding so fast, so here is the problem what I feel ruined communication is texting back and forth its almost she cant handle having serious conversations face to face (we talked about it and she kinda agrees). she would text me page after page of stuff and I have to decipher and respond with every aspect of the text. She tells me its easier for her to process her thoughts this way but its really not a good way to communicate serious issues. She uses it as a shield and its really annoying but she sees my side of things on that point. don’t get me wrong she is highly intelligent so I know shes capable so I don’t think texting a lot will work. Texting ruined US….

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 7, 2020 at 10:33 pm

      So I would change the way you text, don’t have heart to hearts via text. Send her jokes that you know she would find funny, or interesting articles. Avoid talking about emotions have interesting conversations. But considering this has just happened be sure that you take that step back first.

  14. Avatar

    Robert Grant

    August 7, 2020 at 2:08 am

    I recently reached out to my ex after a year our 3rd and last break up due to her checklist for partners she wanted (she had a bad divorce so shes re-inventing herself). She is currently in a long distant relationship but when I contacted her she says she still loves and misses me so we arranged to go hiking and we talked and I got things off my chest and so did she and I showed her how far I’ve come. We had another meet up and we talked and did what came natural (cooked dinner, hung out, laughed did the things we did when we were together.) We decide to do a NC but no time limit so she can sort out her feelings. She told her BF the same thing i think…. We did have sex (which is one of the best parts of our relationship because we fit…) I’m not sure which NC contact to use 21 or 30 days…hell I did a 1 year NC I’m tired of waiting. I fixed the problems on my side and I know I need to gain her trust again…. Not sure what route to take

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 7, 2020 at 10:10 pm

      Hey Robert, I would suggest that you go for the 30 day NC and start reconnecting through texting as much as you can before meeting. Try not to sleep with her until she is sure she wants to be with you or not though. I know that can be difficult when the person you want to be with wants sex. You just have to be set on getting the relationship back before anything else.

  15. Avatar

    Dani

    August 1, 2020 at 11:55 pm

    Hi my ex and I wer together for 5 years engaged with two boys. I cheated on him and he broke it off. It’s been three months now since the break up and he calls to see the kids everyday. He is now seeing somone else and spending a lot of time with them. Is it too late and have I blown my chances. What should I do. I miss him so much

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 6, 2020 at 12:02 am

      Hi Dani, I would say that you would have to follow the rules of limited no contact and then the being there method. As you cheated you may find that his trust in you is low so you are going to have to read articles about the being there method to show him you are the person he met and loved just that things had gotten strained in your relationship.

  16. Avatar

    Cody

    July 17, 2020 at 7:32 pm

    Never thought I would find myself here, but here I am! Here’s the back story, I was with my boyfriend for just shy of two years, we live about two hours apart and travelled back and forth constantly. He worked a 4 on 4 off schedule, so we essentially had half the week together every week. We have travelled many times together and really seem to be a great match… however during covid, I saw a shift in the relationship where he just seemed off. Mid-May he was supposed to come down on his block off (he’s a cop, I’m a teacher) he called last minute and cancelled. I was upset as I planned a special dinner, wasn’t mad just expressed that it bothered me. Texting ensued where he told me he needed a break. I didn’t see it coming at all! Beginning of June, he broke up with me stating he needed to work on himself. We lasted a couple weeks without contact. I reached out, and we decided to start talking daily and meeting once a week. The chats on the phone and texting were just fine, the struggle was in person interaction where we just seemed to get stuck in serious talks and neither of us seem to really validate what the other is saying… it’s like we’re trying to make our points but we aren’t getting back what we want/need. We ended up hooking up this week which I see was a mistake, it was great though. On Wednesday we agreed on 30 days of no contact, set ground rules of no dating others/dating profiles and spending the time to work on our mental/emotional and physical well being. We agreed on a time and day where we would meet to evaluate things. It’s only been a few days and it’s been hard. I have zero intentions of breaking the 30 days but it’s a struggle. I truly care about him, I know I’ll be fine if we don’t get back together, but I just can’t imagine us not being together. We just connected emotionally and physically and had so many things in common. My concern is how much time is going to pass and whether he will just decide it’s easier to move on than work on what we had. Our issues revolved around communication and his inability to express when something bothered him. During the breakup he told me about things I had said at different points and how he felt belittled. It made me feel like a terrible person but in the big picture, they were all such minor things in my mind that had no malicious intent behind them. What are the chances of him agreeing to couples counselling or trying to work through things after 30 days of no contact? He’s expressed he’s not ready for a relationship, which I respect but I also can’t just throw Away the last two years together. I want to take things slow and rebuild a stronger relationship built with communication and care for one another.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 9, 2020 at 11:32 am

      Hey Cody, I would suggest that you understand if he is telling you that he does not want a relationship right now he is not going to be willing to go to couples counselling either. Following the program where you complete your NC and then start the texting phase so that you rebuild your connection is going to be your best best, while working the Ungettable information too.

  17. Avatar

    Leslie

    June 15, 2020 at 5:45 pm

    Ive been trying to get my ex bk of 5 anf a half years for almost one month now weve been talking but all of a sudden she started to get cold and disse t what do i do??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 15, 2020 at 7:30 pm

      Hi Leslie, read some texting articles and also the articles about hot and cold behavior on this website it will help you understand his actions

  18. Avatar

    Dani

    June 11, 2020 at 1:28 pm

    Hi I posted a comment on here last week and it’s not been published 🙁 I really would love to hear you guys reply to it to figure out what to do next. I’m still in no contact and intend to do indefinite no contact unless he contacts me first. He is still following me on instagram, watches my stories every day and I’m working on being unbeatable! It’s been nearly 2 weeks since we broke up

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 14, 2020 at 9:48 pm

      Hi Dani, even though it feels like its been a long time, you need to stick with NC for at least 30 days. However, waiting for him to reach out first means that you are not going to be following ERP program. There are articles that help you compose your first reach out after you have completed NC

  19. Avatar

    Dani

    June 3, 2020 at 8:50 am

    Me and my partner of 8 months broke up 5 days ago rather suddenly. I haven’t seen him for 10 weeks due to the coronavirus lockdown and we live 2 hours apart, but we always saw each other every weekend prior to the lockdown. We have been making the most of calls / text / video chat as much as possible and 2 weeks ago I noticed he wasnt putting as much effort in, so I asked him on Saturday night over the phone what was up. He told me although he loves me, he wasnt in love with me anymore and had doubts about our relationship, such as where we would live in the future, and doubted our compatibility. He told me he had only felt this way for 2 weeks, despite the fact I haven’t seen him for 10 weeks, we have never had an argument, or even a disagreement. He does suffer with occasional bouts of depression where he shuts down and goes quiet on me every now and then. But I give him a few days space and he comes back with his normal self. I find it bizarre as prior to the current situation our relationship was fantastic. We had so many things in common, had so much laughter, fun, happiness and a great sex life. Literally the perfect relationship and he said he was always so happy. When I asked him if he felt in love / attracted to me etc before the lockdown, he said yes, and that he still feels attracted to me, but doesnt feel in love anymore.. I have tried to assure him that things would surely go back to normal when normal life resumes and he probably feels distant to me as we haven’t seen each other in person in 2 and a half months. 🙁 he said he didnt want to get my hopes up incase he didnt feel the way he used to. Its baffling me. He’s not even willing to try. He is quite close to one of my friends who spoke to him since, who seems to think I should give him some space and time and hopefully that will allow him to realise that the relationship was not the problem. Its heartbreaking that he seems so willing to throw away so much, for something that seems to fixable. I kept calm on the breakup phone call and assured him I feel as though its just the lockdown making him feel this way. But I respect his decision although I disagree that it’s the right thing to do. He told me he needed me in his life as a friend, as he loves spending time with me, but he doesnt miss “the boyfriend stuff” such as sex, kisses, affection etc. I told him that he doesn’t get it both ways and I refuse to be friendzoned. It would be too painful. This seemed to shock him as he went quiet on the call. I told him he knew where I was if he changed his mind. I also said i would give him some time to think things through and that the door was left ‘ajar’ but it wouldn’t stay open forever. I’m under no illusion I’m a catch. I’m a successful, attractive, funny person with lots of love to give and he is a fool for letting me go.

    Other than no contact, I’m trying to better myself, losing some weight and spending time trying to make myself happy during this tough situation.

    I took your quiz and I’m at 74% for him changing his mind.

    What’s the likelihood of this, in your opinion that he’ll realise he made a huge mistake, or should I not get my hope’s up?

    Please help Chris and team!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 14, 2020 at 7:42 pm

      Hey Dani, so you need to follow the program stages and the advice given for you to have that chance. Following No Contact, it needs to be at least 30 days where you then work on your Holy Trinity and focus on gaining the Ungettable mindset

  20. Avatar

    Stacy

    May 5, 2020 at 12:38 am

    Its been almost a month of doing no contact and he hasnt reached out . plus he’s been blocking and unblocking me on instagram

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 5, 2020 at 10:49 pm

      Hi Stacy, if your ex keeps blocking and unblocking you he is watching your activity and blocking you again so that he does not have to see it when he feels he can not deal with seeing you do well. I would suggest that you use a different platform than Instagram to reach out so that he does not block you as soon as you message him. I would also extend your NC to 45 days

1 2 3