Today I’m going to show you how long you can expect it to take to get your ex back.
This is something I have written about before but the thing that always annoyed me about that article was my inability to give you an exact answer.
I notice a lot of my peers skirt the issue because no one really knows.
In the world of exes there are so many moving factors that can dictate how long it will take for you to get your ex back.
Luckily, I’m at a place in my coaching business where I’ve gotten more than my fair share of success stories and can actually take a look at the data to come up with a more concrete answer for you.
Exactly How Long It Should Take You To Get Your Ex Back
For this article I did something really interesting and took nine of the success stories I’ve gotten over the past year and looked at how long those particular successes took.
The answer was very eye opening.
You can expect this article to tackle three main issues.
- Meeting The Success Stories Of The Study
- Getting An Exact Time Range Of How Long It Will Take To See Success
- Situations That Make Your Success Take Longer
Meet The Success Stories Of Our Study
Over the years I’ve had hundreds of success stories but the fatal flaw with having that many success stories is that I don’t really get to know many of them.
Sure, I’ll get a pretty awesome email or facebook message in the group like this,
But the devil is really in the details.
How long did it take her to see success?
What did she actually do to see it?
As you can see, it really doesn’t help us for the purposes of this article.
So, I thought that before I started writing this article and citing all kinds of data you can’t quantify I’d change things up and only use data that you can quantify.
If you didn’t know, I have a YouTube channel and on that channel I have a specific playlist dedicated to the success stories of my program.
Pretty awesome, right?
Anyways, I thought it would be a good idea to take nine of the success stories found there and look at how long it took them to see success.
Here were the results,
- Jessy (2 Months)
- Kelly (3 months)
- Mary (2 months)
- Sarah Michelle (3 months)
- Sarah Michelle Again (2 Months)
- Sophia (5 months)
- Jean (5 months)
- Aaron (2 months)
- Kris ( 7 months)
Anyways, seeing the data in one place is one thing but what additional insights can we glean from it?
The Exact Time Range Of How Long It Should Take You To Get Your Ex Back
There are really two data points to keep in mind here.
The first is pretty straight forward.
Based on the data above our average success story took between 2 – 7 months to see results.
Of course, I do feel the need to point out the slight fly in the ointment.
This 2-7 month time range is only after they started working with me.
In other words, if they were broken up with their exes for five months before they started working with me then I didn’t count that time. I felt it was only fair to measure how long my process took to work.
So, the real timeline was probably a bit longer.
Think of it like an equation,
I was never really great at math but x + y = z is a little difficult to solve for when you only hold one part of the equation.
It’s kind of interesting, right?
You hold one part of the equation and I hold the other.
Working together we can solve for “Z” when you get your ex back hopefully.
Now, I do want to say that this process isn’t guaranteed.
I’ve been called a lot of things in my time but perfect isn’t one of them. My job is to give you the best chance possible at getting your ex back and usually it takes anywhere from 2 to 7 months to see results with my process.
However, it is not an exact science.
I am constantly refining and fine tuning it to make it as close to perfect as I can get it but perfection is always going to remain unattainable.
That just goes with the territory.
Oh, there is one more thing I’d like to discuss before I can move on and talk about some of the situational things that can add more time to your overall time frame.
A lot of you may be wondering what happens when you average the success stories in our study together.
Well, that is where things get interesting.
As it turns out, when you average everything together it can potentially take you 3.4 months to get your ex back.
In other words, three and a half months is the average time it takes to see success with your ex after you start working with me or my team.
Again, I wouldn’t look at this like an exact science because it is not but generally speaking if you aren’t seeing progress after three and a half months then it might mean one of two things.
- It’s time to give up
- You are doing something very wrong
There are also other situational factors to take into account.
Situations That Make Your Success Take Longer
There were four big insights that I gleaned from doing this study.
Things that I never thought to take into account before this article.
In coaching calls one thing I always tell clients is that no two situations are created equally.
What works for one person may not work for someone else.
This sentiment also applies to the length of time it can take to see results.
For example, if you take these four factors into account you can get a gauge on if you are in for a shorter wait or a longer wait to see results.
- Situational Factors
- The Length of No Contact
- The Failure of No Contact
Let’s take a moment to describe what I am talking about here.
By far the longest time frame out of the data we used was seven months.
That was from our success story Kris,
The interesting thing about her story was the fact that she was in a long distance relationship.
Generally speaking, long distance relationships take longer to see results in because the distance present certain problems that aren’t present in other relationships.
So, if you find yourself in any of the following situations expect it to add some extra time to see results to your bottom line.
- Long distance relationships
- Being in a “full out” block
- You cheated on your ex
- They cheated on you
- Your ex is very unresponsive to you
These tend to be among the most difficult situations we encounter and ironically they also take the longest to see any kind of results in.
The Length of The No Contact Rule
Not all no contact rules are created equally.
If you read my book you’ll know that I am a huge proponent of three specific time frames when it comes to the no contact rule.
- The 21 Day Rule
- The 30 Day Rule
- The 45 Day Rule
What no contact rule time frame you choose will directly impact how long it can take to see results.
The Failure of The No Contact Rule
What do I mean by that?
Well, I mean that they are able to complete the no contact rule without breaking it.
Wait, what happens when you break it?
We actually recommend that you start over which effectively can come close to doubling the amount of time you are in no contact for.
We’ve all heard the story of the person who was broken up with and then a few days later their ex magically came back into their lives.
In my experience, these people are the exception to the rule. Not the rule itself.
Basically they got lucky.
Sometimes it takes luck to get your ex back.
Never forget that.