Typically, there are three outcomes to a break up, you can initiate the break, he can end it or you can both agree that you need to go your separate ways. This page is going to focus solely on the women who initiated the break up. So, the ideal person for this page would be a woman who wants to get her boyfriend back after breaking up with him.

Or, you might just be considering the prospect, still unsure if your ex boyfriend is worth the trouble.

There are a lot of possible breakup scenarios that can unfold. These situations can involve someone who broke up with their ex boyfriend and now he won’t talk to her, thus making her efforts to make up and move forward nearly impossible.  It can involve a girl who says she ended it and now wants him back.

It can also involve situations in which the  girl is experiencing great pain and confusion: “I broke up with him, but it hurts and I don’t know what to do.” Or it could involve a woman who is struggling with her ex lashing out at here, “my ex boyfriend hates me because I left him. I never thought it would come to this”.

Broken spirits and broken hearts are things that are not new to the dating scene. Yet when it happens to you and you are struggling with whether your boyfriend still loves you or if he misses you, it can be heartbreaking, particularly if you think you may had made a mistake. You may have acted rashly, too swiftly to end it with him and now the regret of your decision haunts you.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Forgive You For Breaking Up With Him?

Before I get going there are a few things that I feel are really important to mention. First off, while I am going to do my very best to give you a winning strategy for getting your ex back, even if you did the breaking up, I want you to know it is possible your boyfriend will just move on.  Sometimes the damage of the being dumped by your girlfriend is so overwhelming, the act of feeling betrayed just becomes too much to overcome.

But most of the time, the pain eventually subsides, the emotions settle down, and cooler heads prevail with a couple finding their way back to each other.

S0 if you are looking for a way to improve your chances, you are in luck as I just updated this page that will literally break everything down for you step by step and teach you how to get your ex boyfriend back. You are going to get the short version and the longer version.

Oh, and FYI, it is going to take you some time to read this post completely from start to finish!  Be sure to follow all the links as they will help with those nagging questions you might have about whether you can really convince your ex to forgive you for breaking up with him.

And a Reminder! Make no mistake, your ex boyfriend is going to be pretty hurt.  Your ex bf is also going to be awful mad at you too for getting dumped, especially if this sort of thing has never happened to him before.  So read up on everything my friend to give yourself the best chance.

Are You Ready To Learn the Latest Tips on How To Get Your Ex Back If You Dumped Him!

So you ended it with your ex boyfriend.  It was time to end things you thought.  Your ex had given you plenty of reasons to break up, so that is what happened.  Whatever crap he was putting through, you decided you had enough.  It’s over, you told him.  He sure didn’t like being the one dumped.  But now you are through with him.
At least that is what you thought at the time.  But now things have changed.
Lucky for you, I just updated this post and have included some new tips and ideas. So we are going to get to that right now!
Then a bit later, I would like to talk to you further about your reasons for breaking up with your ex boyfriend in the first place.   We will go over the common causes and reasons why you decided to dump him.  I also think we should also talk about whether you are truly making the right decision in trying to get him back.
But look, I know you may have landed here wanting to grab some ideas about how you can set things straight with your ex.  So I am going to give you a little mini plan on just how you do that.  Then we will talk about the other breakup stuff to make sure you are connected with why you left him in the first place and why you think he is worth getting back.
Deal?
Deal!

9 Proven Steps To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are the One That Caused the Breakup

At this point, I am going to assume you are in a hurry to hear what you should do.  Let’s say you broke up (ended it with your ex) and now you want him back. Maybe you acted rashly.  Maybe he even has a new girlfriend now  Sounds like a near impossible situation, doesn’t it?  Well, it’s not.  He could be in a rebound.  I know it hurts in ways you can’t even describe.  And I know you still love him are you wouldn’t be here.

So let’s get right down to it.

1.  Allow For Some Time To Go By Before You Try To Make Any Serious Effort To Re-establish Contact With Your Ex.

Chances are that he is upset, angry, and resentful for getting dumped.  Whatever the cause, it clearly ended badly and since you are the one that let him go, his predominant feeling will be one of anger and rejection.  So you don’t want to walk into a firestorm of your ex boyfriend’s wrath. Some time needs to elapse for things to settle down

2. You Need To Give Yourself a Chance To Reevaluate Whether Your Really Want Him Back

You broke up with your ex boyfriend for a reason.  Maybe you ended things with him for good cause.  So it’s not unusual for you to have conflicted feelings about what has happened to the relationship. So be careful about fully trusting your judgement at this stage.  You might have a panic attack, fearing you made an awful mistake.  The sheer pain of separation may be weighing on you, thus creating doubts in your mind if you did the right thing to leave your ex boyfriend.  He may have begged and pleaded for you not to go through with breakup and now you are feeling guilty.  So you need to allow yourself time to process all of this and make sure you don’t cycle right back into the mess that caused you to leave him in the first place.

3. Even If You Initiated the Breakup, Implement a Brief No Contact Rule Period

In most cases, even if you are the one that precipitated the  split up, it is best to observe a No Contact period. I would recommend a shorter No Contact period (2-3 weeks).  It will help you to get more centered and experience some healing and allow your ex boyfriend to calm down and potentially become more receptive to your efforts.  There is much you can accomplish during the NC period to rebuild attraction.  It’s there in your ex boyfriend, but it might need some nurturing to bring out and there are tactics you can use to show him you are out there still available.  During this period there is subtle messaging you can use to convey to your ex boyfriend that you may have acted hastily or you have gained a greater  appreciation of what he means to you.

4. Test The Waters – Send Your Ex Boyfriend a First Contact Text Message

At some stage, if you have not already heard from your ex boyfriend, then you want to put a plan in place to make first contact with him.  This can be accomplished by way of a text.  Think of sending him a message that is going to strike a chord because it is friendly and inviting him to respond.  Check my website for examples.

5. Rebuild Trust Though Texting Over Time

Remember, your ex boyfriend may still feel quite insecure about talking to you.  There will be a part of him that wants to protect his own feelings, avoiding any future disappointment. Your ex may also still be harboring some angry feelings and has yet to work through them.  Those resentments may come out in different ways.  He may be moody, saying one thing, then later retracing.  Texting may be irregular.  So for these reasons and more, just think of this as a process and be patient and understanding of any volatile behavior coming from your ex boyfriend.    But at some point, you need to graduate from texting to a face to face meeting so you can take the next step of winning over his confidence.

6. Set up a Meetup With Your Ex to Restore and Repair the Relationship Foundation

Try to arrange to meet with your ex someplace public and informal.  Keep it casual like a lunch or a coffee.  Don’t make it a date or anything that puts pressure on you both to jell.  He may not be ready for that.  Or he might want to badly talk about the relationship. Just steer him away from it, telling him there will be time for that.  Tell him, “lets just enjoy each other now”.  Don’t show up with an apology in hand or ask your ex boyfriend to forgive you for breaking up with him.  Getting into those discussions starts off the encounter with a negative and swings the conversation to relationship type of talk, and you want to steer away from that.  So avoid talking at this stage about the problem that triggered the breakup.  Take the time to simply enjoy each other. It could take your ex some time to learn to trust you again, so don’t rush things. I recommend that you both resume the relationship as if you were first dating each other gain, getting to know each other again.

7. Don’t Rush Right Back To Normal Routines

Things are not normal and won’t be for awhile.  So don’t pretend that it can all go back to normal.  While your ex boyfriend and you may love each other very much, you need to allow for your feelings to be calmed and trust to be restored. Past negative memories and grievances may be ready to spring out as they linger just below the surface.

8. Jointly Discuss What Must Change For You Both To Be a Successful Couple

After some time, it will be evident that the two of you have largely forgiven each other for whatever went on in the past. You and your ex will find joy and comfort in being in each other presence.  So when the signs of your connection are consistently positive, then you both need to talk about what you can do to avoid the issues that triggered the breakup from happening again.  Jointly come up with a plan and agreement on what you are going to do going forward to prevent conflict, confusion, or misunderstandings.  You want to make a vow that you both will do more or less of whatever is needed to keep a  breakup from happening again.  Write down what you both agree to.  Make a vow that you will honor this plan.  Do something to symbolize your commitment.

9. Celebrate Your Renewed Commitment

Once you have gotten this far in restoring the vitality back into the relationship with your ex, do something together to celebrate how important it is that you are both back together again. Cement this new commitment with something that symbolizes your new start as a couple.

5 Common Reasons Why YOU Broke Up With Him

couples break up

There are a lot of different reasons that women break up with men (some being their fault). I feel it is important to understand these reasons because it will let you know if your ex is really worth trying to get back. I know right after the breakup, your emotions will be pulled in all sorts of directions.  Part of you wants to stand by your decision to end it.  Another part of you will have this sudden panicky feeling that you have done something awful for which you will never recover.

So you will likely have a bundle of confused thoughts and some of them may lead you right back to a potentially toxic situation.  So be aware of that.

I don’t say this to you as a blanket statement that going back to your ex boyfriend will never work out.  That is not necessarily true. But I want to help you and sometimes helping someone is telling them that their ex may not worth going back to.

So, here is how this is going to work. I am going to list some of the most common reasons that women break up with their boyfriends and give my thoughts on each of them. Lets take a look at our reasons:

  • You believed there is someone else better for you (other fish in the sea)
  • You were worried or convinced that your ex was cheating on you (but it turns out he wasn’t)
  • He actually did cheat on you.
  • As time went on you became less and less attracted to your ex boyfriend
  • There was a huge fight that resulted in a breakup.

1. You Thought You Could Do Better.

I can do better

At some point in your relationship you thought you could do better. However, after the breakup you realized that you didn’t have it so bad and he was a more positive force in your life than you gave him credit for. This is a theme that is all too common among women so it is nothing to be ashamed of.  We can’t know all things and sometimes we need to other experiences to put our love lives in perspective.

While certain people might want to make you feel bad for feeling this way, I actually understand where you are coming from. I think everyone deserves to get the best they can in the relationship department. Now, I will say that if your ex treated you poorly (ex: physical abuse, mental abuse) please do not go back to them.

However, if they treated you OK then things are looking up. In fact, your ex boyfriend might welcome you back quite quickly. but don’t expect things to be smooth sailing right out of the gate.

2. You Were Worried Your Ex Was Cheating On You – But he Wasn’t

jealousy

Look, I can massage your ego as much as possible to soften the blow on this one but you messed up. It never feels good to get blamed for something that isn’t true, especially from someone who is supposed to have your back. Nevertheless, you are going to have to work on your jealousy issues. I am not saying that you are wrong for being jealous. Actually, being jealous is natural and everybody who is in a serious relationship will feel it at some time. However, you are going to have to do a better job on dealing with it in the proper way.

3. They Actually Cheated On You.

not end well

I am going to be straight with you.  A lot of “experts” out there are going to preach forgiveness and I agree with them to a certain extent, but I disagree with the ones who don’t acknowledge that it is likely you aren’t going to have a happy ending with the person who cheated on you. So, I am not going to say anymore about this other than I don’t like cheating, but if you are considering getting back with this person, make sure you figure out if his cheating was an isolated incident or has happened frequently. If he cheated on you with other other girls, that doesn’t bode well. So you are looking for patterns.

4. You Became Less and Less Attracted To Them.

unattractive

Have you ever heard the phrase, familiarity breeds contempt. That is partly what may have happened here. You were in a relationship so long with a person that everything they did (what they wore, how they talked, how they yawned) just got on your nerves and made them less attractive to you.  The newness and excitement may have worn off.  So you broke up with them but soon realized that they were the best boyfriend you ever had.  Now you want them back ASAP. Just know it is going to take some work, but you can definitely salvage the situation with the right ex recovery plan.

5. There Was a Huge Fight That Resulted in a Breakup.

fight

If you have spent any time reading this site you may have noticed that I put together a page about legitimate reasons for wanting your ex boyfriend back. On that page I noted that one of the best reasons for wanting your ex back is if your relationship ended abruptly or impulsively as the result of a big fight. Fights aren’t ever a fun experience. However, you definitely have a shot at getting him back because with time and space, angry and upset feelings will slowly balance out and you both will start thinking rationally.

Is Your Reasoning For Wanting Your Ex Back Ok?

broke up

Now that I have listed some of the most common reasons that caused you to break up with your boyfriend.  It is time to do some soul searching and figure out if it is OK for you to actually take steps to getting him back.

In case you are wondering, I would not recommend that every woman visiting this site go back to their boyfriend. In my view, it is all about your happiness and sometimes going back to your ex, while it could make you happy in the short term, isn’t always the best choice. So, the next big step I want you to take is to take out a piece of paper and write a detailed explanation on why you want your ex back.

Writing this explanation down is important for a number of reasons. First off, it might allow you to take a more objective look at yourself. I know that when I write down an explanation like this, then take a break and later come back to read it, it will help me see the bigger picture.

I can sometimes have an epiphany like “what was I thinking.” Secondly, it is going to force you to figure out if you wanting your ex back is just an impulse at this moment or a much deeper feeling. Again, I highly recommend that you check out the legit reasons for wanting your ex back article. That page pretty much sums everything up.

What Are The Frequently Asked Questions About Getting An Ex Back You Dumped?

One thing I have learned is everybody has a story and each person’s is situation is unique.  Digging into the details and understanding the facts around the relationship and what led to the breakup blowup is important.  But knowing something about the history of the relationship also matters.  Let me give you taste of some of the frequently asked questions people have around this topic.

1. I broke up with my ex bf months ago and it still hurts and I regret doing it.  Has he moved on?

The real question is whether you have moved on.  Dumping your ex for the right or wrong answers will always leave you hurting.  You just can’t get away from it.  Think about it.  The two of you, despite whatever checkered past you may have had together, invested a lot into each other.  So in a way, you both are vested in each other and those feelings just don’t go away quickly.  So right now, think less about whether your ex has moved on, but focus on answering for yourself if you made the right decision and if you did, then focus on your self recovery.

2. I left my ex boyfriend and now he won’t talk to me.

This is not uncommon and there can be lots of reasons why this is happening. Remind yourself that if it is early in the breakup phase, it is probably best neither of you are talking.  Now there are always exceptions depending on the circumstances of the split up and your history together.  But you probably left your ex for a good reason and so your focus right now should be on healing and involving yourself in new healthy routines.

3. I had to end it with my ex bf because he was too emotionally abusive.  Lately he has been nicer to me.  Should I give him another chance?

I say no.  It your ex was consistently emotionally abusive, then it should take a lot more than a brief period of him being nice to you.  He is probably trying to seduce you back, but it may very well turn out to be a disappointing experience if you take him back.

4. I told my ex that it wasn’t working out for me and we ended the relationship.  He wants to start over, clean slate he says.  Should I try?

There is probably a good reason why you ended things in the first place.  It is not uncommon to have second thoughts and begin doubting yourself.  Take out a sheet of paper and write down all the things that caused you to break up with him.  Then write down all the things your ex bf is doing that make you really happy. Be honest with your appraisal of his strengths and weaknesses.  For your ex boyfriend to be a keeper, he should have far more positives than negatives.

5. I ended a long relationship with my boyfriend. Now he is seeing another girl, but keeps telling me he wants me back.  What should I do?

It can be hard to walk away from a relationship, even if it is not working out.  Your mind will churn over all the possibilities about whether you made a mistake or acted too hastily.  But trust in yourself. If you have been with a guy for a long time and you finally ended things, then unless it was a rash and impulsive decision, you probably ended things for really good reasons.  So honor your decision and recognize that the jealousy you feel about him being with this other girl is natural.  But ask yourself, does it change anything about him that you don’t already know.  Most likely, you have your ex boyfriend pegged correctly because you have had plenty of time to evaluate the relationship.

The Get Your Ex Back Strategy

A few months ago I had an idea. You see, at that point I was getting a lot of emails from women every single day asking for step by step plans to get their exes back under all kinds of circumstances, just like we are talking about here (i.e. getting him back after you let him go).

While I am always happy to help them out with getting your ex boyfriend back after they ditched their ex, it is such a complicated subject.  So there is no way for me to describe, in detail, how to do it correctly in a short email or post . So, I came up with an idea.

I was going to create a step by step guide that I could point to any time someone wanted the exact process of getting an ex back. Well, the Guide took multiple months for me to write but I am so happy I did it because it has helped so many women already (seen here.)

What to Read Next

I Don’t Want To Move On From My Ex

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

By Chris Seiter | 8568 comments

The Official Ex Boyfriend Recovery Program Review

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

547 thoughts on “You Broke Up With Your Ex Boyfriend And Now You Want Him Back”

  1. Avatar

    Reatletsoe

    February 4, 2021 at 4:03 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend because I feel he was not being supportive of my emotions and how I feel about certain things in our relationship. Instead he kept on saying my emotions are all over the place, I need to calm down and stop with all this stupidity because he is giving my all. I wish for a second he could try to understand and listen to what I say in regards to how I feel and responds with empathy and understanding than insulting My vulnerability. What to do to get him back? I love him nd he loves me too he said but I need him to understand where I’m coming from.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 4, 2021 at 5:13 pm

      Hi there, so if you have been quite emotional recently then you need to spend some time working on yourself and the holy trinity, understand while you feel that you are being completely rational, when we say things during high emotions it can easily come across wrong. Spend some time working on yourself during your 30 day No Contact and read articles that are going to help you understand how you need to communicate to your ex calmly.

  2. Avatar

    Tish

    December 21, 2020 at 2:54 am

    I met my guy online and we hit it off for about two months. I really have no complaints although I am fully aware that it was too early to tell. The backstory: he was severly hurt in a previous relationship and had been single for two years before meeting me. Now we meet, everything is great, he tells me our interaction is the closest experience he has had to normal while dating someone. Then, one night he tries to make a joke but it turns out to be a racially charged macro aggression. Following this comment which he did at the time apologize for, he makes another comment later on that evening that simply proved to me that he was very ignorant in the matter and not cultured. The racial comment literally messed me up. And in that moment, I reacted the best way I knew how by saying ‘Don’t ever say that again’ and pulling a way. I genuinely felt it couldn’t work especially because I was convinced this was his mentality and he wouldn’t have my back while facing micro/macro aggressions as an interracial couple. The next day I broke up with him by text which I know was bad. I just couldn’t bring myself to speak to him. The worst part was that after reflecting, I realized that my response was an emotional trigger for him because his ex broke up with him that way too. I felt horrible. I messaged four days later saying I missed him and that we should meet to talk. No answer. A week later I called no answer then I called back and he answered. I apologized for hurting him and he apologized to me but broke down crying and said the situation brought up bad memories from his ex, he couldn’t handle the interaction at that moment and he didn’t know how to feel. Now it has been two weeks since that convo. I was thinking about dropping off the Xmas gift I bought before all of this went down, but I don’t know if I should.

  3. Avatar

    BEETS

    November 23, 2020 at 7:37 am

    I was angry because of him being always nervous and criticising everything I do, so I broke up with him, then reacted you r amazing but i can’t accept your rejection and the way u treat me with lately.

    After two weeks I asked to talk to him, he replied immediately and asked why?. I told him we had enough space to think and let’s discuss what happened because I know what I did was wrong and I regreted it. I won’t justify it, It was just emotional reaction.

    He was calm and told me you rejecte me, and dumped me back.

  4. Avatar

    Melissa Norris

    November 15, 2020 at 12:55 am

    I have been dating a guy I met online since mid September. We have a lot in common and we really hit it off. He lives about 50 min from me. We met and he said he wanted to have a second date. We didn’t make that happen until a couple weeks ago. He is busy with his job. He Works long hours 4 days a week. I work during the day and I was packing to move into an apartment. At first he was texting me throughout the day which we were still getting to know each other but after a couple of weeks it died down because it’s hard to talk by phone and drive. So I understood. But It bothered me and I would mention it to him. He would try for A day or two to do better and it would go back to a few messages per day. I stated having insecurities thinking he was seeing another woman or he wasn’t interested in me. Then last week i would have to contact him to say goodnight. I finally got upset last Friday night and told him something was up. Either he wasn’t interested in me anymore or seeing or talking to someone else. So I told him i was putting my profile back on dating site. Well next day no word. The day after I regretted what I did and texted him and told him I missed him. Well no word. Then yesterday I texted him and apologized and he replied back they the text from last week was bad but he accepted my apology. He then told me he was going to have to start working Saturdays until the end of the year. He also asked what I had been up to and I told him. Well after that text didn’t hear from him anymore since then. We have so much in common and that’s what hurts the most. He’s a lot of fun too. Don’t know what to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 18, 2020 at 10:03 pm

      Hi Melissa, I think part of the issue here is that you are not making him work for your time or attention you are always available to him. Read Chris’ articles about being Ungettable and apply this to yourself, stop being so available to talk to your guy when he feels that he has time for you, make it about him waiting to hear from you.

  5. Avatar

    Jane

    November 5, 2020 at 12:20 pm

    A week ago I broke up with my boyfriend because i thought i wasnt good enough and i was too emotionally closed off, i thought it was unblanced and unfair to him. Its only been a week but i feel like i want him back and also our friend group situation is quite strange. Am i a bad person for being that kind of person in our relationship? What can i do to get him back if, or at least be able to talk to him? What should i do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 5, 2020 at 2:23 pm

      Hi Jane, you need to consider do you want him back or is this you missing the relationship? It does not make you a bad person for feeling you are not good enough – I would suggest that you work on your self esteem so that you no longer feel this way when you are in a relationship with anyone. You need to tell him you want to get back together, if he says no then you follow the program.

  6. Avatar

    AMA Bezz

    October 30, 2020 at 7:16 pm

    It been a month and 2weeks that I started dating my boyfriend.Everything was moving on well until he sent me a message saying he wants us to have sex.I tried explaining to him on why we can’t have it now since we’ve met in just a month and 2weeks without even knowing any of our parents or friends.But he insisted to have sex so it pissed me off and I initiated are breakup.The truth is I’m always cool around himI miss himI still love him.It been 3days since we broke up but I want him badly.What should I do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 31, 2020 at 3:06 pm

      Hi Ama, so if he is going to pressure you to have sex before you are ready then this is not a good guy… You did the right thing setting a boundary in your relationship he didnt respect your decision, so keep to your NC and let him worry that you are done. Reach out to him after 30 days if you still want him back.

  7. Avatar

    Samantha

    August 13, 2020 at 4:19 am

    Hi,
    I met this guy since November but started dating on January 1st up until May ( and then I broke up with him (Because I was still talking to my ex and I wanted to fix it) but we were still seeing each other (fwb). Then the last time was June when I ghosted him for 2 weeks. Then send him a huge apology and that I still wanted to be friends. Honestly those two weeks made me realize how important and good to me he had been. We actually had a friendship but I was a shitty person to him. I hurt him so much and I deeply regret it.

    Keep in mind I was always honest from the beginning and I told him that I wasn’t over my ex and that I was going to hurt him, he chose to stay and try to make it work.
    Long story short this guy was the nicest treated me like a queen. I can’t believe how stupid I was… I literally regret losing him and he knows it because I put so much energy in trying to get his forgiveness which i did receive but he said he didn’t feel the same anymore because I had push him away so far.

    Last week I told him(over the phone) I was done begging and that I wanted no contact and he was sad, because he still wanted a possibility to being friends in the future.

    I want to know if I have a chance with him. He is really hurt… I broke his heart. I didn’t want to but I did. I don’t think I’ll find someone as sweet and good of a person as he was with me. I’m honestly scared of never being able to have him again.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 15, 2020 at 3:27 pm

      Hey Samantha, I can not tell you that you will or wont get him back, it isnt possible for me to predict that. However I can tell you if you work on your holy trinity and being Ungettable. Complete a full NC where you focus on yourself and not your ex and there is a good chance you will be able to reach out and get a successful conversation started and start rebuilding attraction

  8. Avatar

    Immaculata

    August 4, 2020 at 2:08 pm

    Every message here is very beneficial. Put everything you are been told to do in action. Then you will see the outcome result

  9. Avatar

    Silvia

    July 6, 2020 at 8:33 pm

    Hi, I have been dating this guy for 3months now, he’s amazing but I suspected he was cheating on me 3days ago and I broke up with him via Whatsapp. He said I was wrong but I know he wasn’t being honest. I immediately started the no contact rule cus even though I know he’s not being honest, I miss him and still want to be with him. I’m not ready to end things for real with him I just don’t want him to take me for granted again. Then he texted me today to tell me to have a nice day and added that I didn’t need to reply him. I don’t know what to do, I miss him and still want be with him and i don’t want him to think I broke up with him for real and move on. What should I do? Should I still continue with the no contact rule or should I reply to his message?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 7, 2020 at 9:23 pm

      Hey Silvia, not his does not give you a reason to break no contact if you want to follow this program stick with it

  10. Avatar

    Ala

    July 1, 2020 at 6:24 pm

    Hi. I was dating my boyfriend for about 3 months, but we had been talking as friends about 5 months before we began dating. Quarantine happened due to corona, and we were unable to see one another. I thought we would get through it, and come out stronger, but we didn’t. I dumped him and I’m starting to regret it. The main reason I dumped him was because I felt him distancing himself from me, like the energy from him changed. He came into my life first, and he had feelings for me long before I even thought of liking him. In the beginning, he would always try to keep the conversation going between us and would plan out things, but about 2 months into quarantine, he would reply back to me after a few hours with one word answers. I asked him many times to give me more attention, and to be more present but he wasn’t changing. I had a friend ask him 2 weeks after we broke up if he misses me, and I heard from her that he doesn’t want me back and he even asked my friend if she would want to begin dating him. A month has past since we broke up, and I’m feeling like I made the wrong decision. Should I even try to get back with him, or just move on ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 2, 2020 at 4:52 pm

      Hey Ala, it really is your decision if you want to try to get him back. IF you do then reach out using one of the texts that Chris suggests in his articles

  11. Avatar

    Christine

    June 18, 2020 at 12:54 pm

    Hi. I was dating with my bf for almost one year and I broke up with him three weeks ago. I broke up with him because I am having a mental breakdown at the time and he was not available when I need him due to exams and assignment. I knew I made a rash decision after calming myself down. I texted him a few days ago to tell him how sorry I am and I want us to be together again. But he refused. He said it is a hard time for him to go over the break up and he came to accept the truth recently. He continues saying that he couldn’t accept us to be back again, he wants to stay single now and be alone himself. Do I still have the chance to get him back with this situation now? What should I do to get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 23, 2020 at 5:01 pm

      Hi Christine, if you feel that you are having mental health problems I would suggest that you seek out some professional help to get you through that before considering getting back into a relationship. If you are feeling better and think that you can follow this process to get your ex back, then read some articles to understand how the program works and follow the information given

  12. Avatar

    Esya

    May 2, 2020 at 3:37 pm

    I have been with this guy for a year now. He always says to go with the flow and late october, he cheated on me. December, he came back, telling me that he had no one to talk to.. and all along, i have been transparent with my feelings towards him but he didn’t give me an answer. I’ve been thinking for weeks if i should leave him for good and when i made my told him about my decision, he said that he was planning to get engaged with me. I feel so lost because all this while, I don’t know if he had feelings for me. And i feel like i blew my chance away. So, now, I don’t know if i should try getting him back or simply move on. Or will he comes back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 7, 2020 at 7:37 pm

      Hey Esya I would suggest that you take some time apart in a No Contact where you decide what you want for yourself, do you want to be with him? do you trust him? If he is not very open emotionally then it is going to be that way consistently and you are not going to force him to openly speak about his emotions to you. If you decide you want him back then it is a 30 day NC and work on your holy trinity, then start the texting phase but avoid emotional conversations

  13. Avatar

    Morgan Waters

    May 1, 2020 at 1:59 pm

    I dated a guy for a year. We grew a lot together. We go engaged last year in November. I broke it off with him three weeks after because I got scared: he was my second boyfriend, we slept together (my first) and I thought that clouded my judgement, my parents didn’t like him, and it was my second engagement that was only a year later (the first guy was a total mistake). I loved him with my whole heart and he was so invested. I felt bad for being sort of unsure. I needed time to think and grow up a little. I had asked him for space (move out and stop having sex) to help me get my head on straight, but he freaked out and talked me out of it (because he was scared I guess). I broke up with him sort of rashly and moved out. Then we didn’t talk for six months except twice. That’s when I texted him, just wanting to talk with him and see how he was doing. He was very kind, but I found out that he was seeing someone else. That broke my heart, but I don’t blame him. We have been texting a little and we met up to talk once. We both agree that we still love each other, but he doesn’t trust me yet. He is still seeing the other girl. She looks just like me. It’s painful to talk to him knowing this, but it’s also therapeutic because he’s still my best friend. Should I keep talking to him? Is this not fair to the other girl? I don’t want to ask him to leave her as I’m still trying to work out my broken heart and figure out my life before I’m ready to jump back in. It was the reason I broke up in the first place. I need to work on myself and break myself if codependency and a host of other issues. What next? Is he playing me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 9, 2020 at 5:08 pm

      Hey Morgan, I wouldn’t say he is playing with you, but you need to be sure that you do not do the being there method end up breaking up his new relationship and then leave again. I suggest you speak to him as a friend while you decide if you want to try and get him back. If it is just the fact that you are lonely or missing being with “someone” then I would say that you need to stay away. I agree working on yourself, make sure that you are happy and secure being single before getting into a relationship again

  14. Avatar

    Kelly

    April 30, 2020 at 8:52 pm

    Hi.
    I’ve been seeing someone since November. It recently got more serious over the past 3 months and he said he wanted the relationship to progress… There was just one problem. He would never sleep over. We would be intimate and then he would leave. Most of the time, he said it was because his kids were home, which I understood, but lately, even when they weren’t home, there was always an excuse. We’ve been seeing each other weekly during quarantine as he is back and forth between the city and his country house. He calls me every day and we FaceTime almost every day. He says he cares about me, but it feels awful that he won’t sleep in the same bed as me. I told him last week that I needed a few days to think about some things (which freaked him out) and then I called him and told him how I feel about him not staying, that it makes me feel used and that’s not a scenario I’m interested in going forward. I told him I didn’t want him to do anything he’s uncomfortable with and that if it’s a problem for him, we should move on. He apologized, said he understood and again said how much he cares for me and that he wants to get more serious. He came over last night and we had a great time. I went to give him a toothbrush and he informed me he wasn’t staying over. This really upset me, because I blatantly told him the other day how hurtful that was for me. I told him he should have told me before we were intimate that he wasn’t going to stay over and that I felt used and felt he disregarded my feelings. He made a dumb excuse about not wanting to walk home early in the rain and face his doorman when we are supposed to be social distancing. BS. So, I told him I’ve never felt so expendable and I don’t think we should speak anymore. I said I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to share a bed with me and I don’t want someone to share my bed out of obligation. He keeps saying he’s disappointed, he’s sorry, he thought we had a special connection and he cares about me. I wished him luck. That was that. I’m confused. I care about him a lot, but this is a dealbreaker for me. I’m hoping some time without contact will change things. He’s been married before and had a live in girlfriend in the past. So, he’s obviously shared his bed with others.

  15. Avatar

    Cece

    April 18, 2020 at 4:44 pm

    So kind of a long story but basically we’ve dated almost 2 years. From January to about March I felt like something was off with him. Finally came clean right before quarantine began and told me he was completely hammered one night and a girl and him kissed at the bar for a moment. Obviously I was upset. And he felt awful and was terrified to lose me. We agreed we needed space. But he kept texting me snapping me, the works. So he saw every emotion of me working through it. The highs and the lows. I wasn’t sure whether we were working on things or broken up. So when I finally had worked through it I wrote him a note that said I think our relationship is worth fighting for, this was a few weeks later. He said he thought we’d been broken up for weeks. That he could see himself growing old with me but the indecisiveness made him indecisive he loved me but doesn’t know, said he needs time idk very confusing. So I was like ok i respect that and i wish you the best of luck. He was like what im always gonna be here? Didn’t respond for a few days. HE KEPT REACHING OUT. So i finally sent him a long text basically saying hey you broke up with me please respect my space as I am trying to respect yours. He says you broke up with me I explained how I viewed it all, and he never responded. Basically ignoring me from that point on. Unsure really what to do now. I wanted to work on things but I feel like I screwed things up by being so indecisive and now saying for him to respect my space. Did i blow it?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 25, 2020 at 5:24 pm

      Hey Cece, so I would reach out to your ex with a text that Chris suggested but 21days form the time you sent the text asking him to leave you be

  16. Avatar

    Grace

    March 27, 2020 at 4:44 pm

    Hi. I recently moved abroad for college and I had the most perfect boyfriend for 2 years, the stress and moving really messed with my head and I broke up with him twice in the process of our long distance relationship even know he did nothing wrong and it was all me, after the 2nd time he had enough, he said he doesn’t think he could be happy with me anymore, I regretted the break up immediately and told him how sorry and regretful i am i but his family and friends have told him I’m not worth it anymore and to move on and I really feel like he is listening to them and won’t let me back in because I really meant it this time that I would change my actions for us, he told me he still has feelings for me but I went too far this time. I have started the no contact rule for afew days now but he hasn’t texted me once and I don’t think he is going too. I really don’t know what to do anymore, do you have any advice because I’m nothing but heartbroken since

  17. Avatar

    Dami

    March 25, 2020 at 12:10 pm

    Hi,
    Me and my ex have been together for almost 3 years and I left him at the beginning of this month because I think he’s cheating on me and someone confirmed that he is. I asked him and he said he’s not cheating. After we broke up, the girl posted a video of them both(dancing), which made me not believe him again. But it’s been so hard living without getting texts or calls from him like I used to.
    It doesn’t seem like he regrets or misses me. And I’m not sure whether to ask him, if he wants to get back together, please help me because I’m tired of waking up crying.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 9:39 pm

      Hi Dami make sure you stick to your No Contact, the fact he has behaved the way he has shows he is not too upset especially if there is a video with him dancing with the same girl. Keep to a 30 day NC and then reach out if you still want him back at the end of that

  18. Avatar

    Krisha

    March 18, 2020 at 8:41 am

    Hey….so I broke up with my boyfriend of 14 months about 3 months ago over text….It was pretty bad….he even begged me not to but i did….I had been bored of him n I felt like it wasn’t the perfect fairytale romance…..I didnt listen to him n broke up….however now I miss him really bad n have realized that I still love him alot….but he refuses to talk to me n says that I’ve lost my place in his heart….I don’t know what to do….please help….

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 19, 2020 at 11:41 am

      Hey Krisha, so if you want to get your ex back then you need to start the process with no contact, if you got bored of the relationship the first time around then chances are the same is going to happen if you and your ex do not communicate better the second time around

  19. Avatar

    hayley

    March 10, 2020 at 5:26 pm

    Hello,

    So i have frantically been scrolling through your site and it has become very helpful however i’d like some advice on my personal circumstance. Basically I’ve been seeing this boy since October so around 5 months. Everything had been going great, i had met his friends and family but it seemed that this was taking it’s toll as i think he was finding it a bit intense. He also said he thought we sometimes spoke for the sake of it. Which i can understand as i am a person who is on my phone a lot and i have been working on that as a personal flaw. 2 weeks ago things started becoming quieter and as it was approaching the weekend (we have hung out every weekend since we met) he was due to come to a gig i was performing at. My family were going to this gig so it was a big deal to me as he hadn’t met them yet. I asked him if he still wanted to come and if i was still going home with him afterwards. To which he replied yes of course. So he came to the gig and met my family and everything was fine however when it finished and we got home things seemed a little different. Myself and him have a very close chemistry especially sexually so lets just say its not often we go home and just watch tv. But this evening we did and then we went to bed, he said goodnight and rolled over to go to sleep. Of course i was worried as this had never happened before. In the morning when we woke up same thing he didn’t want to touch me pretty much. I got a bit upset and that’s when he said he doesn’t think this is working. He said he thought something was missing but he didn’t know what was wrong as he has feelings for me and he cares for me. He finds me very attractive and loves spending time together … so i am totally confused. He’s only ever had one girlfriend before me and it was 8 years. He is a lovely boy and isnt the type to mess people around but i think he became freaked out with his feelings and maybe things were going too fast for him. I tried to be understanding and give him some space but we ended up messaging all week. Then unplanned but we ended up at the same pub at the weekend (with his ex and her new partner) we all ended up hanging out and i ended up going home with him. We couldn’t stay away from each other but now i feel even more confused. I haven’t spoken to him since Sunday night and im finding it hard not to message him but im trying to make him miss me.

    Any advice would be amazing?

    Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 23, 2020 at 4:47 pm

      Hi Hayley, so if you want him to miss you then you have to complete a No Contact, this includes his family and friends for the time being too. Read the articles about being Ungettable and how to complete an active No Contact and this will help keep you busy during this time.

  20. Avatar

    Dee

    December 8, 2019 at 6:33 am

    Hi Shaunna,

    Thanks for your response.. I will try to follow the program.. I know it’s gonna be difficult, but worth a try..

    Thanks again!!

1 2 3 12