Typically, there are three outcomes to a break up, you can initiate the break, he can end it or you can both agree that you need to go your separate ways. This page is going to focus solely on the women who initiated the break up. So, the ideal person for this page would be a woman who wants to get her boyfriend back after breaking up with him.

Or, you might just be considering the prospect, still unsure if your ex boyfriend is worth the trouble.

There are a lot of possible breakup scenarios that can unfold. These situations can involve someone who broke up with their ex boyfriend and now he won’t talk to her, thus making her efforts to make up and move forward nearly impossible.  It can involve a girl who says she ended it and now wants him back.

It can also involve situations in which the  girl is experiencing great pain and confusion: “I broke up with him, but it hurts and I don’t know what to do.” Or it could involve a woman who is struggling with her ex lashing out at here, “my ex boyfriend hates me because I left him. I never thought it would come to this”.

Broken spirits and broken hearts are things that are not new to the dating scene. Yet when it happens to you and you are struggling with whether your boyfriend still loves you or if he misses you, it can be heartbreaking, particularly if you think you may had made a mistake. You may have acted rashly, too swiftly to end it with him and now the regret of your decision haunts you.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Forgive You For Breaking Up With Him?

Before I get going there are a few things that I feel are really important to mention. First off, while I am going to do my very best to give you a winning strategy for getting your ex back, even if you did the breaking up, I want you to know it is possible your boyfriend will just move on.  Sometimes the damage of the being dumped by your girlfriend is so overwhelming, the act of feeling betrayed just becomes too much to overcome.

But most of the time, the pain eventually subsides, the emotions settle down, and cooler heads prevail with a couple finding their way back to each other.

S0 if you are looking for a way to improve your chances, you are in luck as I just updated this page that will literally break everything down for you step by step and teach you how to get your ex boyfriend back. You are going to get the short version and the longer version.

Oh, and FYI, it is going to take you some time to read this post completely from start to finish!  Be sure to follow all the links as they will help with those nagging questions you might have about whether you can really convince your ex to forgive you for breaking up with him.

And a Reminder! Make no mistake, your ex boyfriend is going to be pretty hurt.  Your ex bf is also going to be awful mad at you too for getting dumped, especially if this sort of thing has never happened to him before.  So read up on everything my friend to give yourself the best chance.

Is There A Chance Your Ex Will Take You Back?
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Are You Ready To Learn the Latest Tips on How To Get Your Ex Back If You Dumped Him!

So you ended it with your ex boyfriend.  It was time to end things you thought.  Your ex had given you plenty of reasons to break up, so that is what happened.  Whatever crap he was putting through, you decided you had enough.  It’s over, you told him.  He sure didn’t like being the one dumped.  But now you are through with him.
At least that is what you thought at the time.  But now things have changed.
Lucky for you, I just updated this post and have included some new tips and ideas. So we are going to get to that right now!
Then a bit later, I would like to talk to you further about your reasons for breaking up with your ex boyfriend in the first place.   We will go over the common causes and reasons why you decided to dump him.  I also think we should also talk about whether you are truly making the right decision in trying to get him back.
But look, I know you may have landed here wanting to grab some ideas about how you can set things straight with your ex.  So I am going to give you a little mini plan on just how you do that.  Then we will talk about the other breakup stuff to make sure you are connected with why you left him in the first place and why you think he is worth getting back.
Deal?   Deal!

9 Proven Steps To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are the One That Caused the Breakup

At this point, I am going to assume you are in a hurry to hear what you should do.  Let’s say you broke up (ended it with your ex) and now you want him back. Maybe you acted rashly.  Maybe he even has a new girlfriend now  Sounds like a near impossible situation, doesn’t it?  Well, it’s not.  He could be in a rebound.  I know it hurts in ways you can’t even describe.  And I know you still love him are you wouldn’t be here.

So let’s get right down to it.

1.  Allow For Some Time To Go By Before You Try To Make Any Serious Effort To Re-establish Contact With Your Ex.

Chances are that he is upset, angry, and resentful for getting dumped.  Whatever the cause, it clearly ended badly and since you are the one that let him go, his predominant feeling will be one of anger and rejection.  So you don’t want to walk into a firestorm of your ex boyfriend’s wrath. Some time needs to elapse for things to settle down

2. You Need To Give Yourself a Chance To Reevaluate Whether Your Really Want Him Back

You broke up with your ex boyfriend for a reason.  Maybe you ended things with him for good cause.  So it’s not unusual for you to have conflicted feelings about what has happened to the relationship. So be careful about fully trusting your judgement at this stage.  You might have a panic attack, fearing you made an awful mistake.  The sheer pain of separation may be weighing on you, thus creating doubts in your mind if you did the right thing to leave your ex boyfriend.  He may have begged and pleaded for you not to go through with breakup and now you are feeling guilty.  So you need to allow yourself time to process all of this and make sure you don’t cycle right back into the mess that caused you to leave him in the first place.

3. Even If You Initiated the Breakup, Implement a Brief No Contact Rule Period

In most cases, even if you are the one that precipitated the  split up, it is best to observe a No Contact period. I would recommend a shorter No Contact period (2-3 weeks).  It will help you to get more centered and experience some healing and allow your ex boyfriend to calm down and potentially become more receptive to your efforts.  There is much you can accomplish during the NC period to rebuild attraction.  It’s there in your ex boyfriend, but it might need some nurturing to bring out and there are tactics you can use to show him you are out there still available.  During this period there is subtle messaging you can use to convey to your ex boyfriend that you may have acted hastily or you have gained a greater  appreciation of what he means to you.

4. Test The Waters – Send Your Ex Boyfriend a First Contact Text Message

At some stage, if you have not already heard from your ex boyfriend, then you want to put a plan in place to make first contact with him.  This can be accomplished by way of a text.  Think of sending him a message that is going to strike a chord because it is friendly and inviting him to respond.  Check my website for examples.

5. Rebuild Trust Though Texting Over Time

Remember, your ex boyfriend may still feel quite insecure about talking to you.  There will be a part of him that wants to protect his own feelings, avoiding any future disappointment. Your ex may also still be harboring some angry feelings and has yet to work through them.  Those resentments may come out in different ways.  He may be moody, saying one thing, then later retracing.  Texting may be irregular.  So for these reasons and more, just think of this as a process and be patient and understanding of any volatile behavior coming from your ex boyfriend.    But at some point, you need to graduate from texting to a face to face meeting so you can take the next step of winning over his confidence.

6. Set up a Meetup With Your Ex to Restore and Repair the Relationship Foundation

Try to arrange to meet with your ex someplace public and informal.  Keep it casual like a lunch or a coffee.  Don’t make it a date or anything that puts pressure on you both to jell.  He may not be ready for that.  Or he might want to badly talk about the relationship. Just steer him away from it, telling him there will be time for that.  Tell him, “lets just enjoy each other now”.  Don’t show up with an apology in hand or ask your ex boyfriend to forgive you for breaking up with him.  Getting into those discussions starts off the encounter with a negative and swings the conversation to relationship type of talk, and you want to steer away from that.  So avoid talking at this stage about the problem that triggered the breakup.  Take the time to simply enjoy each other. It could take your ex some time to learn to trust you again, so don’t rush things. I recommend that you both resume the relationship as if you were first dating each other gain, getting to know each other again.

7. Don’t Rush Right Back To Normal Routines

Things are not normal and won’t be for awhile.  So don’t pretend that it can all go back to normal.  While your ex boyfriend and you may love each other very much, you need to allow for your feelings to be calmed and trust to be restored. Past negative memories and grievances may be ready to spring out as they linger just below the surface.

8. Jointly Discuss What Must Change For You Both To Be a Successful Couple

After some time, it will be evident that the two of you have largely forgiven each other for whatever went on in the past. You and your ex will find joy and comfort in being in each other presence.  So when the signs of your connection are consistently positive, then you both need to talk about what you can do to avoid the issues that triggered the breakup from happening again.  Jointly come up with a plan and agreement on what you are going to do going forward to prevent conflict, confusion, or misunderstandings.  You want to make a vow that you both will do more or less of whatever is needed to keep a  breakup from happening again.  Write down what you both agree to.  Make a vow that you will honor this plan.  Do something to symbolize your commitment.

9. Celebrate Your Renewed Commitment

Once you have gotten this far in restoring the vitality back into the relationship with your ex, do something together to celebrate how important it is that you are both back together again. Cement this new commitment with something that symbolizes your new start as a couple.

5 Common Reasons Why YOU Broke Up With Him

couples break up

There are a lot of different reasons that women break up with men (some being their fault). I feel it is important to understand these reasons because it will let you know if your ex is really worth trying to get back. I know right after the breakup, your emotions will be pulled in all sorts of directions.  Part of you wants to stand by your decision to end it.  Another part of you will have this sudden panicky feeling that you have done something awful for which you will never recover.

So you will likely have a bundle of confused thoughts and some of them may lead you right back to a potentially toxic situation.  So be aware of that.

I don’t say this to you as a blanket statement that going back to your ex boyfriend will never work out.  That is not necessarily true. But I want to help you and sometimes helping someone is telling them that their ex may not worth going back to.

So, here is how this is going to work. I am going to list some of the most common reasons that women break up with their boyfriends and give my thoughts on each of them. Lets take a look at our reasons:

  • You believed there is someone else better for you (other fish in the sea)
  • You were worried or convinced that your ex was cheating on you (but it turns out he wasn’t)
  • He actually did cheat on you.
  • As time went on you became less and less attracted to your ex boyfriend
  • There was a huge fight that resulted in a breakup.

1. You Thought You Could Do Better.

I can do better

At some point in your relationship you thought you could do better. However, after the breakup you realized that you didn’t have it so bad and he was a more positive force in your life than you gave him credit for. This is a theme that is all too common among women so it is nothing to be ashamed of.  We can’t know all things and sometimes we need to other experiences to put our love lives in perspective.

While certain people might want to make you feel bad for feeling this way, I actually understand where you are coming from. I think everyone deserves to get the best they can in the relationship department. Now, I will say that if your ex treated you poorly (ex: physical abuse, mental abuse) please do not go back to them.

However, if they treated you OK then things are looking up. In fact, your ex boyfriend might welcome you back quite quickly. but don’t expect things to be smooth sailing right out of the gate.

2. You Were Worried Your Ex Was Cheating On You – But he Wasn’t

jealousy

Look, I can massage your ego as much as possible to soften the blow on this one but you messed up. It never feels good to get blamed for something that isn’t true, especially from someone who is supposed to have your back. Nevertheless, you are going to have to work on your jealousy issues. I am not saying that you are wrong for being jealous. Actually, being jealous is natural and everybody who is in a serious relationship will feel it at some time. However, you are going to have to do a better job on dealing with it in the proper way.

3. They Actually Cheated On You.

not end well

I am going to be straight with you.  A lot of “experts” out there are going to preach forgiveness and I agree with them to a certain extent, but I disagree with the ones who don’t acknowledge that it is likely you aren’t going to have a happy ending with the person who cheated on you. So, I am not going to say anymore about this other than I don’t like cheating, but if you are considering getting back with this person, make sure you figure out if his cheating was an isolated incident or has happened frequently. If he cheated on you with other other girls, that doesn’t bode well. So you are looking for patterns.

4. You Became Less and Less Attracted To Them.

unattractive

Have you ever heard the phrase, familiarity breeds contempt. That is partly what may have happened here. You were in a relationship so long with a person that everything they did (what they wore, how they talked, how they yawned) just got on your nerves and made them less attractive to you.  The newness and excitement may have worn off.  So you broke up with them but soon realized that they were the best boyfriend you ever had.  Now you want them back ASAP. Just know it is going to take some work, but you can definitely salvage the situation with the right ex recovery plan.

5. There Was a Huge Fight That Resulted in a Breakup.

fight

If you have spent any time reading this site you may have noticed that I put together a page about legitimate reasons for wanting your ex boyfriend back. On that page I noted that one of the best reasons for wanting your ex back is if your relationship ended abruptly or impulsively as the result of a big fight. Fights aren’t ever a fun experience. However, you definitely have a shot at getting him back because with time and space, angry and upset feelings will slowly balance out and you both will start thinking rationally.

Is Your Reasoning For Wanting Your Ex Back Ok?

broke up

Now that I have listed some of the most common reasons that caused you to break up with your boyfriend.  It is time to do some soul searching and figure out if it is OK for you to actually take steps to getting him back.

In case you are wondering, I would not recommend that every woman visiting this site go back to their boyfriend. In my view, it is all about your happiness and sometimes going back to your ex, while it could make you happy in the short term, isn’t always the best choice. So, the next big step I want you to take is to take out a piece of paper and write a detailed explanation on why you want your ex back.

Writing this explanation down is important for a number of reasons. First off, it might allow you to take a more objective look at yourself. I know that when I write down an explanation like this, then take a break and later come back to read it, it will help me see the bigger picture.

I can sometimes have an epiphany like “what was I thinking.” Secondly, it is going to force you to figure out if you wanting your ex back is just an impulse at this moment or a much deeper feeling. Again, I highly recommend that you check out the legit reasons for wanting your ex back article. That page pretty much sums everything up.

What Are The Frequently Asked Questions About Getting An Ex Back You Dumped?

One thing I have learned is everybody has a story and each person’s is situation is unique.  Digging into the details and understanding the facts around the relationship and what led to the breakup blowup is important.  But knowing something about the history of the relationship also matters.  Let me give you taste of some of the frequently asked questions people have around this topic.

1. I broke up with my ex bf months ago and it still hurts and I regret doing it.  Has he moved on?

The real question is whether you have moved on.  Dumping your ex for the right or wrong answers will always leave you hurting.  You just can’t get away from it.  Think about it.  The two of you, despite whatever checkered past you may have had together, invested a lot into each other.  So in a way, you both are vested in each other and those feelings just don’t go away quickly.  So right now, think less about whether your ex has moved on, but focus on answering for yourself if you made the right decision and if you did, then focus on your self recovery.

2. I left my ex boyfriend and now he won’t talk to me.

This is not uncommon and there can be lots of reasons why this is happening. Remind yourself that if it is early in the breakup phase, it is probably best neither of you are talking.  Now there are always exceptions depending on the circumstances of the split up and your history together.  But you probably left your ex for a good reason and so your focus right now should be on healing and involving yourself in new healthy routines.

3. I had to end it with my ex bf because he was too emotionally abusive.  Lately he has been nicer to me.  Should I give him another chance?

I say no.  It your ex was consistently emotionally abusive, then it should take a lot more than a brief period of him being nice to you.  He is probably trying to seduce you back, but it may very well turn out to be a disappointing experience if you take him back.

4. I told my ex that it wasn’t working out for me and we ended the relationship.  He wants to start over, clean slate he says.  Should I try?

There is probably a good reason why you ended things in the first place.  It is not uncommon to have second thoughts and begin doubting yourself.  Take out a sheet of paper and write down all the things that caused you to break up with him.  Then write down all the things your ex bf is doing that make you really happy. Be honest with your appraisal of his strengths and weaknesses.  For your ex boyfriend to be a keeper, he should have far more positives than negatives.

5. I ended a long relationship with my boyfriend. Now he is seeing another girl, but keeps telling me he wants me back.  What should I do?

It can be hard to walk away from a relationship, even if it is not working out.  Your mind will churn over all the possibilities about whether you made a mistake or acted too hastily.  But trust in yourself. If you have been with a guy for a long time and you finally ended things, then unless it was a rash and impulsive decision, you probably ended things for really good reasons.  So honor your decision and recognize that the jealousy you feel about him being with this other girl is natural.  But ask yourself, does it change anything about him that you don’t already know.  Most likely, you have your ex boyfriend pegged correctly because you have had plenty of time to evaluate the relationship.

The Get Your Ex Back Strategy

A few months ago I had an idea. You see, at that point I was getting a lot of emails from women every single day asking for step by step plans to get their exes back under all kinds of circumstances, just like we are talking about here (i.e. getting him back after you let him go).

While I am always happy to help them out with getting your ex boyfriend back after they ditched their ex, it is such a complicated subject.  So there is no way for me to describe, in detail, how to do it correctly in a short email or post . So, I came up with an idea.

I was going to create a step by step guide that I could point to any time someone wanted the exact process of getting an ex back. Well, the Guide took multiple months for me to write but I am so happy I did it because it has helped so many women already (seen here.)

You can check out the guide below!

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO (The Step By Step Guide)

495 thoughts on “You Broke Up With Your Ex Boyfriend And Now You Want Him Back”

  1. Princess

    September 19, 2018 at 12:39 am

    Hi Chris
    I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt he wasn’ t making me a priority. His reason was he was “busy”. He never made time for me. I told him this 3 weeks ago. He broke up with me and said he can’t make time at the moment. I said ok. But then we talked it through and got back together. We were ok for about a week. Then things started sliding. Don’t want to go into details. Also note it was long distance. I got frustrated with him yesterday because I barely heard from him over the weekend and when I did it was like a one liner text. So I told him I felt him fading away and I didn’t want to be ghosted on. I told him it felt like he only talked to me “when he had time” which to me means I’m literally at the bottom of the barrel. I told him I was done. I couldn’t take his behavior anymore. So I ended it. I felt I did the right thing. Then later today I found out he unfriended me on FB. But didn’t on IG(I unfollowed him). For some reason it broke me. I just cried. I sent him a message and said I couldn’t believe he unfriended me that if he was trying to hurt me he succeeded. He responded and said he unfriended me because I asked him to “go away”. I just said ok and left it at that. All I wanted was for him to realize how he was hurting and maybe change. At the same time I’m prepared to leave if he doesn’t step up. 🙁

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 19, 2018 at 2:56 am

      Hi Princess!

      I am sorry things slide away so fast. Don’t be alarmed. Breakups are not that rare. He seems to be either insensitive or out there feeling sorry for himself. I do think you should implement no contact. Go to my home page and check out all the resources I have that will help you put together your ex recovery plan.

  2. Summer

    August 5, 2018 at 2:36 pm

    Ok thanks very much Chris. Is it possible to delete my previous comment? I’d prefer to not have so much personal information on the internet! The story is quite easily identifiable! Thanks 🙂

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 6:19 pm

      Took care of deleting that comment for you!

  3. Chris Seiter

    Chris Seiter

    August 5, 2018 at 2:21 am

    Hi Summer!

    I am glad you were calm and felt empowered in managing this latest situation.. That is so important, not matter what happens with this relationship. You know…it have always believed the future is moving with all sorts of possibilities. We can influence it to some degree. There will be different paths you can choose to walk and it seems to me you are finding out more about yourself and your needs in a relationship…and that is a good thing. So I think you are on a very good path. Keep radiating positivity and embracing fulfilling experiences while you are engaged in your LNC. Either he catches up with you in the emotional maturity department or not.

  4. Chris Seiter

    Chris Seiter

    August 5, 2018 at 2:21 am

    Hi Summer!

    I am glad you were calm and felt empowered in managing this latest situation.. That is so important, not matter what happens with this relationship. You know…it have always believed the future is moving with all sorts of possibilities. We can influence it to some degree. There will be different paths you can choose to walk and it seems to me you are finding out more about yourself and your needs in a relationship…and that is a good thing. So I think you are on a very good path. Keep radiating positivity and embracing fulfilling experiences while you are engaged in your LNC. Either he catches up with you in the emotional maturity department or not.

  5. Brooke Killette

    April 24, 2018 at 1:11 pm

    So I broke up with my boyfriend after 2 years, this has been the hardest pain for me, Im 24 and he was my first boyfriend, and the first man I lived with. but we haven’t been getting alone we just are different people and want different things in life. but at first after I broke up with him he would text me and say “this is hard”. He showed up at my house the weekend after I broke it off and said he still wanted to be with me. I still said I wanted to be alone. He started me really mean to me yelling at my, blowing my phone up. I stayed civil with him and was calm, even nice but he choose to just be hurtful to me. He blames me for everything and says I’m the devil for hurting him. Its been a few days and we haven’t talked but I cant help but miss him and wonder if I made a mistake I know there is more fish in the sea, but I’m really shy and hes been the only one I could be myself with. Yes we are different but I’m so hurt I’m always crying but I’m still keeping my distance..maybe we just need some time apart. I don’t really know what to do. I’m scared I lost him but there is a list of things we just cant agree on.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 24, 2018 at 2:42 pm

      Hi Brooke…I think you are right. The two of you need some space apart and that is what the No Contact period is all about. Go pick up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”. It will help you with what you should be doing during this No Contact period and if you do want to get him back, how you go about doing it. Right now. emotions are running high and mistakes of words and actions can be made easily. He is displaying a lot of this with his outbursts. You will get through this pain Brooke. Start a journal and start writing some things down is one small measure you can take. Staying active and creating some healthy routines routines is also important. Go take a look at the ebook I mentioned (found at my website Menu/Products link) as it will serve as your Companion Guide throughout this process!

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 24, 2018 at 2:42 pm

      Hi Brooke…I think you are right. The two of you need some space apart and that is what the No Contact period is all about. Go pick up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”. It will help you with what you should be doing during this No Contact period and if you do want to get him back, how you go about doing it. Right now. emotions are running high and mistakes of words and actions can be made easily. He is displaying a lot of this with his outbursts. You will get through this pain Brooke. Start a journal and start writing some things down is one small measure you can take. Staying active and creating some healthy routines routines is also important. Go take a look at the ebook I mentioned (found at my website Menu/Products link) as it will serve as your Companion Guide throughout this process!

  6. Happy

    April 21, 2018 at 2:04 pm

    i broke up with my boyfriend, cuz he was geting mad that easily…then he deleted me from facebook and skype…then i msged him trying to understand why is he acting like this..we broke up twice before this,but he never deleted me this is the first time he does that.
    now, i want him back so badly idk what to do :'(

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 21, 2018 at 11:55 pm

      Hi there Happy! We need to get you back to being happy!! I know break ups hurt, particularly the rejection part. Seems like he is going thru his anger stage. Have you picked up a copy of “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” yet? That is probably the best Companion Guide you will come across that will help you throughout the entire process. Go take a look at website Menu/Products to learn more about it. To optimize your chances, you gonna need a comprehensive blueprint!

  7. vega

    April 16, 2018 at 2:49 am

    Hello. My ex and I of about a year broke up roughly 5-6 months ago. I was the one who broke up with him for factors that were issues within myself, between new distance giving me cold feet and a death of a family member bringing me down into a spiral of depression. I made up a reason that we should break up that I fully believed to be truth at the time, but in hindsight it was not. Our relationship was incredibly good, both of us leaning on and helping each other through a lot of rough instances and issues. I encouraged him to make some big decisions that I was really proud of him for! 6 months later, he’s all I can think about. I really think i was in love with him. And I ruined everything, but I regret it so intensely. We went no contact up until a few days ago when I messaged him again and he replied. It’s been light and amicable, and I’m happy for this, but I’m so close to breaking down and just telling him everything and apologizing. I messed up so badly, and I wish I had been someone better in the past.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 3:31 am

      Hi Vega….I know…the breakup hurt can linger for a good spell. But the past is behind us and so don’t be hard on yourself anymore. It seems you have learned from it, which is all anyone can expect. I want you to be your own best friend. It starts with that. If you like and love yourself, that only helps you in the future with him and everyone else you encounter. It is also important to have a plan…a blueprint to follow to maximize your chances of getting him back. So look into some of my ebooks resources (website Menu/Products link). It sounds like you guys are talking again and that is positive. Just go it slow and slowly ramp up the attraction. Keep everything positive. Remember, less is more. So don’t let your emotions over run you. In time you will have an opportunity to convey what your mindset was in the past, and I think he will understand.

  8. Kelly

    April 11, 2018 at 10:41 pm

    Me and my ex had broken up a little over a week ago from our almost one year relationship with each other. Regardless of me being a junior in high school and him being a senior in high school, I can truly say that the both of us received and gave true love to each other. I can say that the problem between our relationship was me being a little too giving and understanding and him being a little too jealous and slightly controlling. The topic we would argue about the most would be my guy friends, but to overcome this, we would compromise and say that I wouldn’t put myself in settings that would make my boyfriend too uncomfortable and that he should be more understanding of me having friends for my social life; especially cause we’re just students in high school and our social lives are pretty important to us. However, I had decided to finally make the initiative to break up with my boyfriend because the past few weeks before we broke up, our communication had seemed off and it had seemed as if he just hadn’t loved me as much as he did and vise versa, and we weren’t meeting each other in person as frequently as we used to. Everything in our relationship seemed off and because he was going to be away from me the whole summer in two months and then go straight to college when he got back, I thought I couldn’t handle the emptiness. Our break up had ended on a good note, and it was where we both knew that we had feelings for each other but I had just persisted on breaking up. However in the days without him, I’ve realized all the faults that I have done to him in the relationship and how I could make it better if we had a second chance. I would rather go through the emptiness of waiting for him to come back then the emptiness of him never being next to me anymore. I still want to give myself time to really evaluate my feelings and make sure this isn’t a spur thought from loneliness before trying to talk to him because we had completely stopped contact, but at the same time I feel the longer I wait, the further his heart is going away from mine.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 11, 2018 at 11:32 pm

      Hi Kelly….I understand your dilemma. It is not an unusual for those going through a breakup. Just know that the future is always moving and lots of different things can happen, many of which you have not control. But you have control of your attitude and I can see from the prose of your writing that you are special and special things will happen for you, no matter how this turns out. Yes, having some space to get in touch with your feelings is always a wise choice to get in touch with your feelings.

  9. justine

    March 22, 2018 at 6:44 pm

    It started out as a long distance relationship. After six months I moved in with him. After 3 months of living together he started by saying I’m not happy and go back to where your from, because I guit a job there I didn’t like. We fought about me wanting to live for free. I had no money to give. I wasn’t making what I did back home. Then his daughter beat me up, cuz he told me not to let her in the house. It all went down hill from there. The last fight we had I packed my clothes up and left. It’s been a month.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2018 at 6:05 pm

      Hi Justine,

      He’s toxic.. You should move on from him..

  10. :)

    March 6, 2018 at 5:51 am

    Hey so I made a bold move and told my ex that I liked him again and understood if he doesn’t feel the same and he replied with “okay homedog” which made me think I got totally rejected but then again he flirts with me and try’s to show off and I don’t understand thoughts?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2018 at 3:41 pm

      How long were together? When and why did you broke up?

  11. Pelumi

    February 23, 2018 at 7:33 pm

    Hi
    it was a long distance relationship, during my time in school, we had a conversation that led to me telling him a secret about a friend of mine…so after then, he stopped talking to me, stopped calling, texting, so after my exams
    I chatted him up and was pissed
    I broke it off with him
    he replied and said he wasn’t comfortable with me, couldn’t trust me
    I told him a secret I wasn’t suppose to
    and if I could tell him such
    that means I would go about telling people about his life
    and I tried to explain to him
    I took him as my confidante
    I was really upset
    and I needed someone to voice out that issue to
    so he told me to change for future purposes and since then
    we haven’t spoken
    this happened January

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 10:36 am

      Hi Pelumi,

      how long were you together?

  12. Jasmyne

    November 8, 2017 at 4:30 am

    Hey, I broke up with my boyfriend because he told my friend that he might break up with me because he didn’t think it was working out, and so I broke up with him. But, I can’t stop thinking about him, and I still love him but I don’t know if he still loves me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 8, 2017 at 7:33 pm

      Hi Jasmyne,

      how old are you both? and how long was the relationship? Are you going to try the advice above?

  13. Holly

    November 6, 2017 at 2:37 am

    i need help….i broke up with my boyfriend because i felt like i was dragging him down and after we broke up he acted fine but told everyone he still loved me….and at first i didnt feel anything and then one night it all came crashing down on me of how much i love him but now i dont know what to do to get him back or if he even wants me back after what i did to him

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 6, 2017 at 8:10 pm

      Hi Holly,

      if he wants you back and told it to everyone else, then talk to him..

  14. Anne Siriwardane

    September 24, 2017 at 11:14 am

    hey!
    I had a six year relationship. and I took the first step for breaking up with him because he treated me bad and I was afraid to spend the rest of my life with him. before that I met this guy who treated me as a queen and I took the decision of leaving my boyfriend forever. after I told my boyfriend that I wanted to leave him he was crying and got depressed and begging me not to leave him but I made up my mind to leave him forever. and after sometime the other guy I met asked me out like three times and I couldn’t ever say yes to him. I felt that I cant love any other person because I only love my boyfriend and though he treated me in a wrong way , I never cant forget him because my love for him is true. and I apologized him but now hes not coming back and now I’m suffering and depressed. he says that he cant get back together and he wants me to move on. I cant move on because I cant forget him and I’m so depressed. I need him back . I only can pray to god and there is no one out there to help me. I’m helpless and now its been an year. I went for medical help but no I cant forget him because he is my whole world. I texted him everyday crying and begging him to come. i can do anything to make him come back to me and save our relationship. he told me I’m sorry i cant because i remember how i suffered after you left me. sometimes i feel like killing my self and in every time i tell someone about my problem everyone tells me the save thing “let him go” or “forget him” or you deserve better. what should i do? i need help. i need to save my relationship.

    1. sophia valente

      September 29, 2017 at 4:03 am

      hi, i totally know how you feel. I was with my boyfriend all four years of highschool & we were so in love. I wanted him to be my husband & I wanted to have kids with him. The last six months of our relationship he stopped caring & started lying to me & after a while i got sick of it all & had to end things with him for myself. I couldn’t keep letting him walk all over me. He didnt understand & breaking up was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. I was depressed, felt alone, cried all the time because i didnt want it to end but it had to. I met a guy who treated me 100x better than he ever did but it wasnt the same. Its been a year & I still miss my ex boyfriend so much. Im still struggling with this because I want to reach out to him but I completely shattered his heart and he never wants to talk to me again. I really hope you know that your life is so valuable & you’re not going through something that is permanent. There were points in time that i felt like I wanted to die but nothing EVER is worth taking your own life. Im going to leave you with this: somebody once told me that God has a plan for you. He puts obstacles & things in your path to drive you off course, to test your faith. He does everything for a reason, you just have to trust that God knows whats best for you. Sometimes the things that feel right, aren’t & sometimes the things that seem wrong are right. Its really hard to get over things like this, i know from experience (still getting over it), but I really do believe this is making you a stronger person & you will eventually know Gods purpose when the time comes.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 28, 2017 at 7:44 pm

      HI Anne,

      are you going to try the no contact rule?

  15. Maranda

    July 25, 2017 at 9:52 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend after only 3 months of being together, but we were like best friends before we got together. He acted different while we were together. He had just broken up with his ex for cheating on him, so we got together. After we broke up he got with her again. I feel like she was just his rebound, though. I only realized what I was missing out on only after we broke up. I love him, and I need him back, but he’s still in an iffy relationship with his rebound. I don’t know what to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 6:22 pm

      Hi Maranda,

      actually it looks like you’re the rebound.. check this one:
      EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

  16. Gil

    July 17, 2017 at 11:45 am

    I broke up with him after 5 years LDR. I felt it is not moving anywhere, the progress was very slow, I wanted to meet more often and make a plan for the future… He did say I was his priority, is just that he was not sure he wants to have a serious relationship with anyone, as in to live together or get married. We had a great connection, he said I was a wonderful person and he was lucky to have me in his life, but a stupid argument provoked the talk and then I saw no other way but to just break up to preserve my value if he was not ready to commit. He didn’t want to break up. I did more than a month of NC, and miss him terribly and would like to try again.. I have to say previously after arguments he would try harder and make more effort, and he was there for me when I needed him, which gives me hope that maybe he changed his mind. He is very stubborn and proud and won’t initiate talking after I told him to never contact me again… Would I look stupid by reaching now? What if he doesn’t take me seriously? And also I don’t want to just fall into the friends category..or worse to get back to the same gray zone again…

    1. Gil

      July 19, 2017 at 11:19 am

      I did improve, started to date, exercised, travelled and posted new happy photos! He is not on social media though and doesn’t follow it at all, never did it, he is too busy for that..

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      that’s good that you did, but you need to be active in posting because that’s your indirect way of showing the change. He will get curious maybe now or by the time you talk to him.. So, continue improving yourself and do that first.. and then initiate maybe 2 or 3 weeks from now.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Gil,

      how much did you improve yourself and how active were you in posting?

  17. Laura

    June 15, 2017 at 10:34 am

    Hi there, just looking for some advice on what to do.

    I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years in February of this year. I feel that I had many people interfering in our relationship and I had to many people telling me what to do and i have regretting my decision ever since. We were in a long term relationship for about a year due to me being on a scholarship and I felt i wasn’t getting the support and effort I needed. However, one month no contact has passed and he contacted me and then we spoke briefly and then another month of no contact passed to which I then returned home for summer and I contacted him to see if he would meet up with me and without any hesitation he did. We talked about the break up and what happened and how much we both mean to each other and he was hurt by what happened, of course who wouldn’t. He likes to keep all his feelings to himself and doesn’t give much away however being with him 7 years I knew he still felt the same way and next he lent in to kiss me. I have always wanted to get him back since I broke up with him and he knows that I want us together and I don’t want to lose him for good. I know he wants it too but he says nothing can happen to I’m home for good which is in 6 months and I feel he is scared incase the long distance comes between us again. I feel that I am doing all the chasing and pursuing because theres nothing I want more than us together again. How do I turn the tables and have him chasing me and wanting this too?

    Thanks
    Laura

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 17, 2017 at 7:08 am

      Hi Laura,

      check this one:
      The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship

      and you can’t keep doing nc, the more you do it the less it can help you over time.. so, if you’re going to restart, do the advice above properly..

  18. Nameless

    May 17, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    Hi there! Thanks so much for this site and your advice!
    I was in a relationship with my ex for around 6 months, met the family and friends and everything like that. I broke up with him a couple of months ago because he was becoming distant and I felt like I had to make all the effort with him. I know he was stressed at the time due to workload and he had recently moved houses from being alone to living with a house with his friends. I think this also worried me as I felt like he wouldn’t give me as much attention as he did previously.
    After around a month of feeling like he was becoming distant I asked to meet up with him because I wanted to ‘talk’. On the day we agreed to meet he suddenly told me that he had to go to a friend’s birthday so he wouldn’t be able to meet until after 10. I said to forget it in that case. At the time, I was so worked up that I took it that he didn’t want to see me. I ended up sending him messages saying that he didn’t care about me so I didn’t want to be together. He ignored these messages until the day later when he called me and said that his moped had been stolen and that he had a deadline for work the next day and he couldn’t take anymore.
    Because his ped was stolen he asked me to go to his place and meet him to talk about things, but I was for some reason so annoyed that he wouldn’t come to me seeing as I was the one who was upset. I called him back and told him that I’ve kept telling him that I was unhappy for a while and I felt like he would simply brush it aside and for that reason I didn’t want to be with him. He told me that if I didn’t want to be with him then I should leave. There was no pleading from his side, no word of “lets try and work it out”. It was a very very short conversation, no discussion of what needed work in the relationship. So it ended it and I didn’t speak to him for a week. After a week I called him multiple times and basically begged for him to give us another chance. But at this point he said that he didn’t want to be with me, that he never loved me, he never saw us as long-term and that he was talking to someone else. After multiple attempts of trying to get him back I gave up.
    A few weeks later he sent me various messages asking if I wanted to meet up casually to do some work. I said no, because what he said to me about not loving me was so hurtful. He then eventually asked me how I would feel if he was changing his mind about not wanting to get back together. I told him that I couldn’t trust him so I didn’t know how it would work. At this point he just stopped replying. Another week later I called him asking if he wanted to study together. He said yes, but when I turned up his friend was also there. His friend ended up leaving and it was just us left. He told me that he didn’t want anything from me and I got upset and started crying and telling him how much he hurt me. He told me that we both hurt eachother. I decided to leave and he said that we could talk about it properly after his exams. The night before his exam he sent me a picture of what was coming up in them and I wished him luck. I also sent him a message asking him how they went, but no reply. I have not heard from him since and I don’t think he wants to meet up to talk about things anymore like he had said before his exam.
    He always said to me that once he had broken up with someone there was no chance he would ever go back to that person. He has a lot of pride and is extremely stubborn. I know it would’ve taken a huge hit to his ego that I was the one who ended it with him. What do I do now? I feel like he has lost feelings for me and there is no chance of us getting back together. Is this the end? I feel bad because I totally overreacted with breaking up with him, but he was no angel in our relationship either.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 19, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      do you want to try the advice above?

  19. Riti Rai

    March 25, 2017 at 9:03 am

    Please do read this. And please help me. Its . been Five days I hve broken up with my boyfriend. I hve been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend since an year. 1 month only we hve been together and after dat in long distance relationship. In Beginning he used to text me a lot.Caring for me and what I was upto. But since last 4-5 months he is so busy in his job that he hardly texts me. . So I used to get hurt often. One night when he didn’t text me. I felt awful and sent crying emoticons to him saying u don’t remember me from day to night single time. Next day he replied me its nthng like dat, I love u a lot. Only that m very busy. I said its ok. Then again next night happened the same. No texts at all. I texted Good Night and then no reply. I started to call him, 11 pm. He picked my call, I aaked him whether he was hvng issues with our relation. He said no its not like dat. My business not going well and I hve to make all arrangements for my sister’s marriage. So I am bit tensed. I pull away from you because I don’t want that you take tension. I was in much anger and humiliation dat time. So I said straight that you see your own life. M going and from tomorrow onwards I don’t know who are you and I hve moved on. He begged me a lot to stay back and don’t go. He told sorry. But I blocked him. And after 2 days unblocked him. He started to message again that you hve left me. I think my fate is only bad. May you get someone better than me. I pray for you. We ll never meet again. I read his messages and reblocked him. After blocking I cried. Now I have unblocked him again and I want him back in my life. I can’t imagine anyone else in place of him in my life. M feeling very sad and difficult to carry on with my studies. What shall I do please suggest.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 26, 2017 at 1:09 pm

      Hi Riti Rai,

      do you want to try the advice above?

  20. Lisa

    February 7, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    I have been also ghosted and the funny part is I can’t understand what has happened. We meet from a reputed matrimonial site and started relationship in Dec 2015 when we met for 2 day vacation. We were texting and talking on phone a month before we met personally. I wasn’t that into him in the beginning but he was really chasing and really I will say earned my attention. We were in relationship for 5-6 months and I started seeing decline in interest after 2-3 months. The meetings starts getting canceled and then I was out for business trip for 2 consecutive months and then went to my home country. I also started having feeling that he is losing interest and may be somewhere I felt stuck as I can’t see anyone else and I am not sure if he is that interested. When I came back it was my birthday and he said he is busy that weekend and can’t meet. But he was making plans to go for a trip the other weekend (But never mentioned that we are gonna celebrate my birthday). I got heart broken and I asked him that I want to talk and then he just stopped texting me back and opened his profile on the online dating site where we met first. He texted me after 2 days of my birthday just a wish and I just said thanks. After a week I felt that may be I should initiate a contact and wont mention about our differences. I called and texted and he never responded. I also started moving but after a month I really missed him so I though I will give one more try and I emailed him just a simple saying sorry and that I love him. No response after a month he texted me saying he needs help with some of his school work. I said ok. He came and just didn’t wanted talk about relationship bcoz I thought it was over and helped him that day and during dinner he just catched up what he was doing for those 2 months and I told him about me. He again started communicating showing interest but never talked about what happened. But again after the week I was on a bussiness trip out of country. Texts again started to get less and less. I would see him on facebook but not text me back and I got angry and blocked him. But then again during halloween I just wished him just like to other friends and he immediately started responding. We started communicating once again. Then he asked me to join him for thanksgiving dinner with his family. It was great time his dad liked me :). He also treated me as if I am his girlfriend and was perfectly treating me. Until I came back to my city. The texts started slowly getting less. Now the last time was when it was 31 dec and I wished him for new year and he responded. After that I also stoped texting and after 20 days I texted asking how he is doing. I texted 3-4 times in week and telling what was going on with me. I could see he has read messages but didnt bothered to respond. I just did a final text saying that I am relieved he is ok as i can see he read texts. I won’t bother him anymore with texts and just wished him for birthday which is in Feb. It has been 10 days I havent heard from him. I sent him birthday gift which he should have received when I was texting him but ne never bothered to say thanks. But I will just think that may be we were not compatible all along. But I am in Love with him and it does hurt sometimes. Do you have insight or suggestions?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2017 at 12:26 am

      Hi lisa,

      You need to check this:
      What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You

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