It seems pretty simple doesn’t it?

Since the beginning of time there has been one thing that almost all relationship experts agree on,

Being clingy or needy is a complete turn off to men.

Before you entered into a relationship with your ex boyfriend you knew that deep down being clingy and needy was probably going to be a turn off to him but as you developed a deeper connection with him you couldn’t help yourself.

You just wanted to talk to him all day every day…

You wanted to hear his voice before you went to bed…

You wanted to know what he was up to throughout the day…

You didn’t really want him talking to any other girl that wasn’t you…

Essentially you wanted his entire life to revolve around you…

They say that love makes people do crazy things. This fact was evidenced when I opened up my Facebook Page one afternoon and saw this meme posted by one of my subscribers,

clinger

Now, I am not insinuating that you approached anything close to this when you broke up with your ex boyfriend I am just saying that I know what it’s like to be in love and I know that sometimes it can make you do some clingy or needy things.

In this guide I am going to be talking about how you can recover from these clingy or needy things that occurred in your relationship with your ex. Essentially, what I am shooting for here is a way to wipe your slate clean with your ex so that you can give yourself the best shot of getting him back.

The Positives & Negatives Of Being Clingy

I bet you weren’t expecting me to say that being clingy can have a positive aspect to it, huh?

As it turns out there is a way in which being clingy and needy can be an attractive thing to men. In this section I am going to talk a little about that but I will also be giving you the low down on all the negatives that go along with being clingy and needy.

So, if you have ever wondered what kinds of things a stage 5 clinger does to turn off a man then the section entitled, The Negatives Of Being Clingy, is going to be especially interesting to you.

First though, lets talk about the rarely talked about positive aspects of being needy.

The Positives Of Being Clingy

gf

Whenever you do research on women who are clingy or overly needy you often hear experts scolding them for that type of behavior. You actually never hear about the positives that go along with being clingy or needy. You see, as a man I can tell you that, as weird as this is going to sound, I like a woman to be a little clingy or needy.

Wait, WHAT????

The keyword there is “a little.”

Hear me out for a second.

To me if a girl gets a little clingy it means she really has strong feelings for me and I like that. I want my woman to care about me on a level so deep that no one else can compare. I want her to want me to be the last person she talks to before she goes to bed. I want her to think about me constantly throughout the day.

Essentially, I want to be the most important person in her life.

Is that selfish of me?

Probably…

Do I care?

Not really…

Let me put it to you like this.

Whenever a girl exhibits clingy behavior like jealousy, constantly wanting to be around me and texting me a lot I kind of like it. To me it is these things that tell me she really cares about me.

I just gave you three little examples of clingy behavior that I said I liked, right?

What were they?

  1. A little jealousy.
  2. Wanting to be around me all the time.
  3. Texting me a lot.

Ok, now I want to make a little tweak regarding these three examples.

What is the tweak?

I want to tell you about what a girl can do to all of a sudden make those cute little clingy behaviors into overly clingy to the point where it becomes a turn off.

One thing we have already established about me and most other men is that we like needy behavior but only to a certain extent.

Lets pretend that you and I are dating and at the beginning of the relationship you would exhibit the three clingy behaviors I mentioned above. Well, at the beginning I found it kind of cute. I liked the fact that you got a little jealous because it meant you cared. I liked that you wanted to be around me all the time and I also liked that you texted me a lot.

Of course, as time went on I began to notice a gradual change in the intensity of these behaviors.

For example, any time you would get jealous you would get jealous to the point where you would start a huge argument and you wouldn’t trust me about anything. In fact, your jealousy got so bad that at one point you literally forbade me to talk to anyone of the opposite sex.

You also became so clingy to the point where any time I would go into a room you would have to follow me in there. You know how your shadow follows you around everywhere? Well, you essentially became my new shadow.

The reason = “I couldn’t bear to be away from you even in a different room.”

Ah, and now we get to the texting.

You see, at the beginning of our relationship we had a nice 1:1 text ratio going. This means that we were completely even when texting each other.

  • You text
  • I text
  • You text
  • I text

Of course, as our relationship grew deeper the texting ratio changed completely to a 3:1 ratio. This means that for every one text I would send you would send three in return. On top of that you would literally get angry if I wouldn’t respond immediately to your texts.

Do you see the difference between positive neediness as opposed to negative neediness?

Speaking of negative neediness lets talk a look at some of those qualities.

The Negatives Of Being Clingy

don't be so clingy

You have an incredible advantage over almost every other woman searching the internet.

You see, when most women search the internet for advice on clingy behavior most experts list out all the needy behaviors that you need to avoid but almost none of them do a good job of explaining WHY you need to avoid them. It is rare to find someone who will explain why men react badly to clingy behavior but I am going to because I am a man and I know how I would react if someone got overly needy.

I suppose we can start with a common clingy behavior, text gnatting.

Clingy Behavior 1- Text Gnat

A lot of you are already familiar with the term I coined called a “text gnat.”

If you aren’t familiar with it then allow me to take a moment to educate you on it.

Imagine for a moment that you are walking down the street and all of a sudden you hear this buzzing around your head. You look around and discover that a bunch of gnats are following you around. No matter how many times you swat at them they still stay put. No matter how fast you run they still seem to follow. It’s like no matter what you do you can’t seem to shake these annoying bugs.

It is entirely possible that this is how your ex boyfriend viewed you in your relationship if you were too overbearing with how you texted him.

Above I mentioned how an ideal texting ratio between a couple should be 1:1.

Meaning their text messages should look something like this,

1_1 text ratio
Notice how this string of text messages follows the classic 1:1 text ratio meaning,

  • One person texts
  • The other person responds
  • One person texts
  • The other person responds

One of the best ways to determine if you were a text gnat or not is to look at your last 100 text messages between you and your ex.

If the ratio is close to 50:50 (it can be a little off here or there but has to be close) then that means that you are doing well to stand by that 1:1 ratio.

If for example, the texting ratio ends up being something like 70:30 where you have sent him 70 text messages and he has only responded to 30 of those text messages then that probably means you are venturing into text gnat territory where you are becoming kind of overbearing.

Why Being A Text Gnat Annoys Men

One word,

Desperation

Someone who is a text gnat screams desperation and no guy wants a serious relationship with a woman who is desperate. They want a serious relationship with a woman who is confident enough to know that she actively chose to be with a guy.

Have I ever been text gnatted before?

Absolutely.

In fact, I remember a long time ago there was one girl who had such a crush on me that she would text gnat the heck out of me. Now, I don’t really like hurting anyone’s feelings so I didn’t have the guts to tell her that I didn’t like her “in that way.” So, when she would text me I simply wouldn’t respond hoping she would get the hint.

She didn’t…

She kept texting me to the point where it really started annoying me and I eventually had to say something to her.

Why was her gnatting such a turn off to me?

Because she seemed totally desperate and if I am going to be attracted to anyone it was going to be a woman who is smart, independent and NOT desperate.

Clingy Behavior 2- Extreme Jealousy

jealousy

I personally believe that a little jealousy is good in every relationship.

Why?

Because it shows how much you care about each other. Of course, jealousy can become very dangerous if it starts to develop on an extreme level.

What do I mean by “extreme level?”

I suppose a role playing example would be best to illustrate this.

Lets say that you and I are currently in the middle of a relationship. As our relationship wears on I begin to notice that you get jealous any time I mention another girl.

“Hey, my friend Tina texted me today and told me that she is hosting a party and she wanted us to come.”

Now, a normal girlfriend should be excited about the prospect of going to a party with her boyfriend.

You, however, aren’t a normal girlfriend. No, you are the insecure controlling type (not really hopefully.)

Instead of being excited about the party you get angry at me for texting another girl and accuse me of cheating.

“Who is this Tina? How did you meet her? When was the last time you saw her? Are you cheating on me?”

“Tina is an old friend (a married mother of two.) I met her through work. I haven’t seen her in years and no, I am not cheating on you.”

My answers aren’t good enough for you though.

You become so threatened by Tina that you forbid me to ever text another girl for the rest of my life. In fact, if you ever catch me texting another girl throughout our relationship you threaten to break up with me.

Wow…

You are psycho.

Why Extreme Jealousy Annoys Men

In my opinion, extreme jealousy has a direct correlation to a woman trying to control a man and nothing annoys a man more than a woman who tries to control him.

Look, we chose to be in a relationship with you. We chose to become exclusive with you. However, that doesn’t give you the right to try to control us. If you show us a little trust it can go a long way.

Nothing says,

“I don’t trust you”

like extreme jealousy/controlling does.

Clingy Behavior 3- Shadowing

dude

I have only heard of one example of shadowing in my personal life but I have heard of multiple examples through this site which is why I know it exists.

So, what is shadowing?

Shadowing- Becoming so dependent on another human being that you have to be around them all the time. In some cases it is so extreme that you can’t even let them leave a room without you going by their side. It is an extreme form of being controlling.

If you are still a little confused when it comes to this concept don’t feel bad, it is a little complicated to grasp.

Perhaps it would be best if I used the example from my personal life to illustrate.

When I was in high school a very long time ago I knew a guy that would get angry at his girlfriend for the dumbest things. I remember he once told me that when he was over at her house she left the room without him.

When I heard this I was baffled at why he would have to accompany her if she simply wanted to leave the room.

Me: “Was she leaving you alone in her house permanently or something?”

Him: “No, she just wanted to get a drink in the other room.”

Me: “Are you kidding me?”

Him: “She should have asked my permission to leave the room.”

Me: “Why? It’s her house not yours?”

Him: “She is my girlfriend. It’s disrespectful.”

What we have here is a case of someone who is so insecure that he wouldn’t even let his girlfriend leave the room without him. Look, I get being so in love with someone that you hate it when you are apart. However, if you have become so clingy or controlling that you literally have to go with them from room to room then that is a big issue.

Of course, that example was an extreme form of shadowing.

Some of the more common forms of shadowing I have seen is the classic invasion of alone time.

Look, sometimes men need their alone time where you aren’t constantly badgering them with questions or the latest drama that went on at work. We need time to recharge sometimes before we can consume everything you want us to consume.

Oh, and when a guy tells you that he wants to hang out with his friends don’t get angry if he doesn’t invite you. If you feel the need to accompany him everywhere he goes then that is a form of shadowing and he isn’t going to appreciate it.

Why Shadowing Annoys Men

Do you know what the definition of a stalker is?

Stalker- a person who harasses someone with unwanted and obsessive attention

Every time you “shadowed” your boyfriend in your relationship you were technically a stalker.

Think about it, if your ex wanted to have a guys night out with his friends but you insisted on tagging along you were harassing him with unwanted attention which is technically the same behavior a stalker engages in.

If you were so insecure that you couldn’t even let him have an hour on his own to recharge his batteries then you are technically defined as a talker.

In other words,

Shadowing = Stalking

Oh, and the last time I checked no one likes stalkers.

Clingy Behavior 4- Controlling

controlling

I deal with a lot of failed relationships every day.

That means that every day whenever I read your comments on this site I can kind of get bummed out because, to me, it sometimes feels as if all I see are failed relationships. Lately, in an effort to change this I have been reading up a lot about the most successful relationships so I can get some positivity back in my life which in turn will help me give out better advice.

You want to know what I am learning about successful relationships?

Neither person involved in the relationship tries to control the other person. Rather they work together as a team to discuss their issues.

It baffles me to this day why some women feel the need to control their boyfriends.

Look, I want you to get something through your head.

You cannot control another human being. It is impossible.

The only way that you could ever try to control another human being is if you had developed some type of superpower like “mind control” but since no one in the history of the world has ever developed a power like that I am afraid you are out of luck.

Why Controlling Behavior Annoys Men

I think it’s best if I use myself as an example here.

The thing about me is that I am the most loyal man you will ever meet. Whenever I am in a relationship with someone I don’t let anyone threaten that relationship.

For example, if you and I were dating and one of your friends texted that she wanted to hang out with me (when you weren’t around) I would respond like this,

loyalty

In other words, I am basically saying that the only time I would hang around other girls is if my girlfriend (you in this imaginary case) was there. I feel this is an extremely rare quality in men now-a-days and it also says a lot about my character.

So, lets pretend that you are really insecure about other girls around me, even though I have proven to you multiple times that I am the most trustworthy man on the planet.

In fact, you have become so insecure about other women that you constantly try to control me and basically order me to never talk to any of them ever again.

This is going to annoy me on a lot of different levels because not only are you essentially saying that you don’t trust me but I also feel I have been completely loyal to you and you don’t appreciate that at all. Not to mention you are trying to control me and no man likes being controlled.

In fact, most of the time by you controlling a man you push him to do the behavior you don’t want him to in the first place.

How Do You Save Face With Your Ex If You Were Clingy?

Now that you have a pretty good idea of what clingy behavior is and why it annoys men lets take a look at what you are going to have to do in order to overcome that clingy behavior to have a chance at getting your ex boyfriend back.

Many of you are aware that I am a fan of putting graphics together for this site. Well, below you will find a graphic that i put together that will teach you how to overcome his reservations about taking you back because of your clingy nature.

easelly_visual

As you can see I have divided the process up into four separate parts,

  1. Understanding how you are perceived.
  2. Giving him time.
  3. Reclaiming your identity.
  4. The new you.

Now, before I get started on explaining what I mean by these four pillars I feel it is very important to discuss the point of what we are trying to accomplish here.

One thing we already know is that you want your ex boyfriend back. However, it doesn’t look like that is going to happen since you were way too clingy. Well, in order to have a chance at winning him back you are first going to have to overcome his impression of you (he thinks you are clingy.)

The point of this section is to show you what you have to do in order to achieve that goal.

Oh, and don’t worry, once I show you how you can do that I will guide through every step of the actual “getting him back” process.

For now, lets get cracking on these four pillars.

Pillar 1- Understanding How You Are Perceived

I understand

If the main goal that we are trying to accomplish here is overcoming your exes impression of you then it is probably a really good idea to figure out what that impression is.

For example, if you and I dated each other and I was constantly telling you how I hated the fact that you were always trying to control me then you would know that the clingy behavior that you would really have to work on is to NOT be controlling.

In other words, what we are trying to do here is to figure out what behaviors you exhibited that needs to change for you to even have a shot of getting him back.

How are you supposed to figure this out?

Well, a little empathy can certainly help but there is actually a better way.

I want you to think back to your fights and arguments with your ex. You see, if there is one thing I have learned over the years it’s that anger has a way of extracting the thoughts you have that you know you shouldn’t really say. So, when you think back to you and your exes fights what was it about you that he was complaining about that could be classified as clingy.

(Disclaimer- We are only looking for clingy behavior here. Anything ridiculous that he complained about that isn’t clingy you shouldn’t change.)

Using a personal example from my own life I can think of one off the top of my head.

While I never actually was in a relationship with this person (I never even went a date with her actually) she exhibited some super clingy behavior from the get go that made me immediately want to not talk to her.

What was her clingy behavior?

Any time I wouldn’t respond to a text message she would send she would grow frustrated and berate me with insults. Look, sometimes I don’t respond to my text messages right away (sometimes I don’t at all if I don’t like the person.) However, usually I always get around to it. If this girl was more patient we probably wouldn’t have had a problem. But she wasn’t…

I immediately classified her behavior as clingy and controlling and I did not want a presence like that in my life.

Do you have an idea of what clingy behaviors you have exhibited in the past with your ex?

If you don’t then you need to find out immediately.

Pillar 2- Giving Him Time

give it time

Most women fall into the clingy trap after a breakup occurs with their boyfriend.

What is this trap?

They call, text or skype their ex so much that it can sometimes go beyond regular clingyness.

If you need a refresher on how creepy this can be take a look at the very first picture I posted on this page of the woman who called her ex 77,000 times after her breakup with him.

A year or two ago one of my friends told me something really interesting about relationships.

In most relationships men put the most effort into making the relationship happen. However, once the relationship has already commenced then the women take over from there and do everything in their power to keep the relationship going.

While I am sure there are exceptions to this rule I have found it oddly accurate.

You see, men can sometimes have this nasty habit of getting comfortable in a relationship. In other words, they grow lazy and spoiled and get used to women doing everything for them. As a result, when a breakup occurs they almost expect that YOU are going to be the one that contacts them first begging for a second chance.

By being clingy and needy with phone calls or texts you are playing right into what they already believe is going to happen.

If I am being completely honest with you it annoys me when I see women begging for their exes back because to me that means they don’t know their own value.

Men aren’t attracted to neediness, they are attracted to women who know their value, women who know they can replace him in a heartbeat (kind of like that Beyonce song irreplaceable.)

So, rather than playing right into what he already believes is going to happen after a breakup (you getting all clingy with phone calls) I would recommend that you do the exact opposite of that. You should do what a strong woman would do, not contact him at all.

Many of you are aware of my thoughts on the no contact rule. Well, I am of the mind that giving your ex space (after you have been clingy) is the smartest thing you can do.

Why?

Men have this constant need to feel admired by women. Of course, when you shower a man with constant attention that attention is going to lose some of its value over time because he is going to get used to it.

By doing a no contact rule for either 21 or 30 days (depending on the situation) you are going to accomplish two things.

Thing 1- Giving Him Time To Cool Down

Here’s a fun question.

Who do you think has a better chance at getting her ex back,

A girl who tries to get her ex boyfriend back when he is extremely upset with her?

or

A girl who tries to get her ex boyfriend back when he is not that angry at her?

If you guessed the girl who tries to get her boyfriend back when he is not that angry then you guessed right. The no contact rule is perfect for giving your ex boyfriend time to cool down which in turn is going to increase your chances to seem less clingy and also get him back.

Thing 2- Gives YOU Time To Reshape Your Image

I am going to be talking about this a lot more in-depth in the next section but for now I can give you a little teaser of whats to come.

While you are using the no contact rule to give your ex time to cool down you can also be using it as a way to get rid of your clingy habits and reshape your image so that your ex no longer views you as clingy.

In other words, you can use it for self improvement.

Pillar 3- The New You

human patch

Self improvement is key if you don’t want to be looked at as clingy or needy anymore.

It’s funny, I was scrolling through Facebook the other day and noticed one of those overused motivational quotes that always seem to get shared.

It said something like,

Your amazing just the way you are…

On the surface it’s a really nice sentiment isn’t it?

However, when you sit down and really peel back the layers you will find that, that quote has a flaw.

It is essentially saying that it’s ok to be the way you are and you don’t have to change or improve for anyone.

Well, I take offense to that because I personally believe that self improvement should be something every human being should strive for. I mean, what is wrong with wanting to become a better version of yourself?

Now, I am not saying you should compromise your morals or do something your not comfortable with but I think it is completely ok to want to be a better version of yourself.

Since this is a page dedicated to eliminating neediness lets focus on how you can improve yourself if your neediness is tied directly to your own insecurities.

Dealing With Your Insecurities

A lot of clingy behaviors can be traced directly back to our own insecurities.

For example, we often get overly jealous because we are afraid our significant other might cheat on us. How about the fact that a lot of women don’t believe they are good enough for their boyfriends so they shower them with too much attention which can be viewed as clingy.

Getting rid of these types of insecurities can be quite tricky.

I mean, you can try to turn your feelings off as much as possible but in the end we are all human beings and not robots. We can’t help but feel jealousy and insignificance from time to time.

So, what I would like to teach you is the method I try to employ when dealing with my own personal insecurities.

(Yes, you will get to hear my own insecurities about relationships right here, right now.)

I would have to say that without a doubt the biggest insecurity I have when it comes to relationships would be the fear of being cheated on.

How did this insecurity develop?

When I was in High School I remember the first girl I asked out very clearly. You see, I liked her and she liked me, or so I thought.

Turns out she liked someone else and was just using me for fun. So, the day I asked her out she explained to me that she didn’t like me in “that way.” I’ll admit I was a little bummed out but I took it in stride and didn’t cause any unnecessary drama.

The very next day I found out that she started dating another guy, someone who she had been pursuing since I started pursuing her.

While she didn’t cheat on me it was my first experience with deception and I did not like how it felt.

As I gained more experience in dealing with the opposite sex I learned more and more about how women could sometimes use deception to get away with things. In fact, I became so frightened of being deceived that I started plotting out worse case scenarios in my head and trying to figure out if I would be able to survive if it ever occurred to me.

By far the worst deception I could think of was infidelity and it scared me.

Unfortunately, this site doesn’t help that insecurity at all when I come face to face with infidelity on a daily basis. You see, it has the ability to make you a little paranoid and that can be extremely unhealthy.

However, I figured out an excellent way to deal with this insecurity so it doesn’t make me exhibit clingy behavior.

You see, the fear of infidelity can sometimes cause you to get jealous over unnecessary things. This means that for me I can sometimes get touchy when other men are introduced into the equation around my relationship. So, rather than getting overly jealous I am always telling myself that I am setting such a high standard that no other man can compare.

Whats even better is that I am using my insecurity to force me to set that type of high standard.

You see, as long as I keep that standard so far out of reach for other men I have nothing to worry about because my significant other would literally have to be an idiot to stray.

In other words, I find a way to use my insecurities as a strength.

Pillar 4- Reclaiming Your Identity

identity

I am about to make you aware of the ultimate form of neediness.

Some women become so enthralled with their relationship that they lose themselves in it.

For example, lets say that before you met your ex boyfriend you had a long list of hobbies,

  • Running
  • Watching movies
  • Painting
  • Swimming

However, as you fell deeper into the relationship you slowly but surely started losing your hobbies. Whats worse is you adopted all of your exes hobbies.

Now, there are two trains of thoughts when it comes to stuff like this.

Thought 1- It’s sweet that you can fall so deeply in love with someone that their passions become yours.

Thought 2- It’s dangerous to fall so deeply in love that you lose yourself in that person.

I personally believe that it’s ok to adopt your significant others hobbies as long as you don’t lose yourself in the process. It’s not ok to just stop something that you love (your hobbies) to make room for all of your boyfriends or husbands hobbies.

Remember, your ex boyfriend fell in love with you, the girl with her own hobbies.

He didn’t fall for the girl that stole his…

759 thoughts on “Stage 5 Clinger – Getting A Boyfriend Back If You Were Too Clingy”

  1. Avatar

    Lea

    August 28, 2019 at 2:18 am

    Hi! Great article. I started seeing a guy about 3 months ago. He told me on our second date that he was laid off from work and unemployed. I do not know what his finances are like. He initiated most of the time seeing me, and we did a lot that do not require money. We spent a lot to time together. He started interviewing and is waiting to hear about a job. Several weeks ago he pulled back, and I asked if everything was ok. He said yes but stressed about the job thing and too much too soon for us. I said ok do what you need to do I understand and I will back off too. 3 days later he goes back to wanting to see me. So we went back to seeing each other like before. However, he started pulling back again. I asked again if everything was ok and not himself lately. He said he was stressed and needed space. I again said the same as above. However, he has really pulled back this time. I am upset cause I texted him a lot asking he was still ok taking me to dinner for my birthday that he initiated. He turned it on me saying yes but are you wanting to back out? He also said he cannot give me anything serious at the moment. I said yes but was respecting his space. We went out for my birthday. When I saw him I told him I know he is not in a position to be in anything serious and was not really looking at it in that way. I just enjoyed his company and was building a relationship with him and enjoying my time with him but keeping an open mind to see what would happen. He told me that he was just very confused and very stressed out about not having a job. I asked if he was seeing others, but he said he has no desire to, and he doesn’t expect me to wait on him. I in my mind jokingly said oh great I’ve met another confused guy who doesn’t know what he wants. Even though I was saying it in a jokingly way I’m afraid I should not have said that. We went to dinner after that conversation and had a great time and he stayed over and left the next day. However I have not heard from him unless I text him first. He is finding out about his job soon but not keeping me posted like he used to. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I don’t know if he’s really stressed out about work or just trying to tell me that he doesn’t want to see me anymore. He said he is not dating anyone else and not in a position to and fulfilled by me. I know men handle stress differently. I have decided not to reach out and give him space to see what happens and hopefully do damage control.

  2. Avatar

    marli

    August 22, 2019 at 6:32 pm

    just thought id leave a comment for some advice:
    I started seeing this guy about a month ago. he went on vacation for 9 days and I got a bit clingy (bc he didn’t text a whole lot and I thought he wasn’t interested.) I asked him about it and he said he was still interested. things went on as normal

    he gets back and we make plans to see each other and falls asleep and stands me up, I get a little upset obviously, but forgive him. we make plans again and he says he has a migraine. should I pull back?

  3. Avatar

    Michelle

    July 25, 2019 at 4:10 am

    Hi! This article made me feel like I shouldn’t lose hope after all.
    So I will be brief about my situation. My boyfriend and I haven’t broken up yet but we are at the threshold now. We have been dating since a year and things started to change after we completed one year. I should state that it all started with me becoming insecure day by day. Earlier I never believed that he could get attracted to anyone else while he is with me and suddenly that perception changed. While he confirmed that he wasn’t into anyone else, I still fought with him over issues that bothered me for two months straight.
    He joined his family business three days back and he has suddenly changed. He said he prioritize his career now and he won’t be able to give me much of his time and I completely understand that. But he says that my insecurity and nagging has taken a huge toll on our relationship and though he still loves me, he is not able to handle me anymore. Tbh, I understand that as well. He has started telling me that if he falls out of love, I shouldn’t make a huge scene at the time of breakup.
    I have totally realized my mistake and I really don’t want to lose him because he is the best thing I have ever come across in my life. I am trying to work on my clinginess but I would really like to know if I should adopt the no contact rule in my case. Because he still texts me out of the random and I want to know if no contact will worsen my situation or help me sort my relationship, give him the space he needs and help me be back to my former self. Thanks in a advance!

  4. Avatar

    Sher

    February 1, 2019 at 2:10 am

    I met a man online, I was a little too available from the get go… everything was good for about 6 weeks then everyonce he left town I bombard him with I miss you’s. About 2.5 months in I asked him where we were at relationship wise as he seemed to be pulling away and wouldn’t claim me past dating. He told me to chill out. I continued to serial text and brought the conversation up the following weekend asking if I should soooo trying. He got angry and basically breadcrummed me the following 6 weeks and canceled all of our scheduled dates. We got to the point the last 2 days that he gave me single word responses. I told him I was stepping away because my life was chaotic and I needed to recover from my case of needy-as-f-itis. My situation is/ was chaotic and full of drama as i sort many family members, i said i need to sort my life out. I proceeded with no contact for 5 weeks then met with him to get some things from home depot because he offered to do work on my house. I asked if he wanted to do lunch and he said yes, and bought it. While we talked i pointed out how im de-drama-ing my life. We talked for an hour and ended with a hug. I offered to hang out over summer… and then i text him the day after for info regarding something we talked about to get business details after a few texts back and forth he stopped responding. Im back to no contact. I feel so worried, I really want to repair this. Help!

  5. Avatar

    Madison

    January 10, 2019 at 7:06 am

    This was the most helpful and hopeful article I have ever read, I actually just sat here and read the whole thing. Thank you for your wonderful advice, I will take all of these claims into account.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 11, 2019 at 12:47 am

      Hi Madison….thanks for such an enthusiastic response! You ought to pick up my epic 485 page eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO”! Tons of content and ideas there.

  6. Avatar

    Lucy

    November 15, 2018 at 4:36 pm

    Hello,
    I feel like i really messed up a lot and i could really use some advice.
    I was dating a guy for one and a half month. We knew each other ten days before he asked me to be his girlfriend. After another 4 days he told me that he loved me. I told him we should slow down and give the relationship some time. he told me several times that he loved me and i could tell by his facial expression that he at least has a lot of feelings for me. Lately I’ve been extremely clingy and it made me sad when he hung out with a girl. I was also shadowing him (which i didn’t even realize until I’ve read this article). Two days ago i woke up in the middle of the night and noticed that he was still awake. I didn’t think much of it but asked him the next morning about it. He said he’s been thinking about us. He doesn’t feel like there are many feelings left, sometimes he doesnt even want to hang out with me but still does. He never showed any signs that he was annoyed by my clinginess, he still treated me like he cared a lot about me. So it felt like this came completely out of the blue. I aksed if he wants to break up, he didn’t exactly say yes but it was pretty obvious what he wanted. He told me he never really loved me, he just told me that because he thought that he could make himself believe that. He cried while he told me all that and said that we’ll meet again. At the end he kissed me even though i told him that he doesnt have to do that if he doesnt want to. during the whole relationship i could tell that he genuinely had feelings for me, the way he texted me, the way he looked at me and the way he treated me were all indicating that.
    Now i really want him back, i just don’t really know if the no contact rule is going to help there due to the length of the relationship. my plan was to give him a week and then message him asking how hes doing. I’m just not sure if that’s the right approach.
    I really hope you can give me some advice.

  7. Avatar

    Ashtyn

    October 3, 2018 at 2:09 pm

    Hi! I could really use your help. I met this guy at a restaurant we work at together. We hit it off immediately. We first just started hooking up and hanging out. I told him from the very beginning that I wasn’t just going to hook up with him and not try to build something. He agreed and said that he really liked me and wanted to date me. He cut off every single girl the moment we started talking and he never left my side. I mean, never. He spent the night at my house or I would stay at his every single night until the day he left me. We kept doing this for about 3 weeks and then he decided he wanted me to be his girlfriend. He was drunk when he said this so I made sure to talk to him about it when he was sober. He said he meant it. Then 2 days later he nicely said that we just weren’t ready because we hadn’t known each other for long. Mostly this was influenced by the people we work with. He did this exact thing 3 more times until finally the third stuck and he went around saying I was officially his girlfriend. An incident then happened 2 days later. He was drunk at the restaurant we work at and called me telling me to come there and chill with him. While on my way there he called me and said he was leaving. I was super confused and told him to just wait. I got there and he was gone. The other workers started making up rumors saying I was crazy and following him. The obviously didn’t know he told me to come. The next day he couldn’t remember what had actually happened and just agreed with them saying I was crazy. I gave him some space and didn’t say anything to him even though I heard rumors about him dumping me. He eventually texted me asking to come over to talk. He came over and we talked and he dumped me. He said that I was too crazy for him. I didn’t know what to do. So I came up with the only thing I could in order to keep him. I told him I was cool with us breaking up but that we should still be friends with benefits. He agreed and slept with me that night. After that we still hung out every single day. At first I could tell it was just an agreement but then he started getting those feelings back. He started cuddling me, cooking with me, dancing with me, staying the night, going out to movies, etc. I thought I was finally winning him back. Then out of nowhere he texted me saying we were completely done hooking up. It destroyed me. We got into a little argument and I just let it go. We worked together the next day and I just kept a smile on my face and ignored him. He texted me once talking about my sweatpants and how he couldn’t find them. I tried to keep it brief but he kept trying to talk about the other night too. I was taking my moms advice and showing him the “i dont care attitude” hoping it would work. He continues to follow me on social media, liking my pictures and watching what I do but he still doesn’t want to be with me. What do I do? I really like him. Please help me!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 5, 2018 at 2:37 am

      Hi Ashtyn!

      Some guys just kinda retreat when the start feeling an attachment and loss of some freedom. That have to figure out what is important even if its staring them in the face. I think you would benefit from having a sensible ex recovery plan. That is what my site is about. If you have not already, go to my home page and check out some of the books, tools, and resources I have there to help you improve your chances.

  8. Avatar

    KK

    October 3, 2018 at 9:15 am

    Hi 🙂
    Hoping to get some advise in my situation, as I’m so lost I don’t know what to do…

    So I’ve met a guy over the internet, we’ve been talking for 4 months, we started off well, and the texting ratio was 1:1. In the last month or so I developed more feelings for him, so I texted more, and he seemed like he took a step back, and texting ratio is almost 1:3. I asked if he’s seeing someone else, and he apologized and said he’s just been very busy, and not planning to date anyone… after a while, he told me he’s dating me… though he said it’s just dating, it’s nothing very serious, but he’d like to see how far we can go, as he felt like I’m a very interesting person to be with.

    The less he texted the more I got scared.So last month I went cray cray and bombarded him with messages, telling him how insecure I felt etc. The first time he was alright with it, and he says he understands that we are in a very difficult situation, as we have never met, but we have connected (we won’t be meeting any time soon as we are in two different countries)… he comfort me and apologized again, saying that he didn’t have much time to text me as much as he used to… I was good for 2 days then I lashed out at him about my insecurities again the second time. This time he didn’t reply me until 3 days later, with just a smiley face and a good night…

    After that I waited a few days trying to strike a casual conversation with him, again it takes him 2-3 days to response. When he response though, he would be like how he used to be, very detail, not just short yes/no/emoji reply. We talked and flirted, just when I thought we would back to normal again, he never text back like how he used to… waited for another 2 days and I strike another conversation with him… still waiting for his response…

    I’m not sure if I should just completely not contact him for a while, or just act as if nothing happen and keep texting him? I really would want to be able to hold onto what we have now until the day we meet up, and see if we are actually compatible or now…

    Would really appreciate some feedback… feeling I’m gonna have a mental break down soon…

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 5, 2018 at 2:46 am

      Hi KK….no, I don’t think No contact is the right medicine here. Just pull back a bit…taking it slow.

  9. Avatar

    Fleur

    August 17, 2018 at 8:05 am

    Trying out my luck here. Met this guy on a work trip in June for a while. Hit it off. I left the city and returned home. He kept telling me how he’s in love with me for a month and he can’t stop thinking about me. Fast forwarding everything, I met him again one month after our first meet-up. Spent 4 days together, he asked me to be his girlfriend on the first evening and I rejected, said I needed time. He made breakfast in bed the next two mornings, took great care of me and brought me out to meet all his friends. We had a great time together and he was always holding my hand wherever we go. I had to come home after the 4 days. And I think that’s when I started my ‘clingy’ behaviour. He slowed down the chase and was communicative but wasn’t as hyped as before. I got insecure and started asking him questions about our distance and the relationship etc. Someone from the past came back and dropped me a text. I told him. He got jealous and told me to go back to that old flame cause he has too much stress in his life right now–which of course I didn’t. He then asked me why I want the both of us to be in a relationship and I was dumbfounded cause he was the one who asked for it!

    Fast-forwarding a lot of texts (text terrorist!) from me and a call, he asked for space and time to fix himself cause he really has a lot in his life, and said I was pushing him away with my insecurity questions. So I did, left him alone for three days and texted him to apologise (non-emotional at all) about my bad behaviour. He was monotonous and very cold in his response–I could sense he didn’t want to strike up a conversation. The day after next, I asked him if he wants to work things out. He said with everything that’s going on in his life, he cannot keep up with having a relationship right now. We had a talk subsequently, he said he got evicted recently, had to move, and there’s movement at work that’s causing him a lot of stress. He told me he’d like us to still be friends, and who knows what will happen in the future. But he said just not now, he can’t be in a relationship with anyone now. Said if he doesn’t care about me, he wouldn’t have called me and will ignore and block my texts/calls. I said we both need time to figure out what we really wanted and he sounded a little upset. I said whether or not I wait for him is solely up to me but told him I really want someone who’s 100% in. I told him I understand he doesn’t want a relationship now and will respect his wishes.

    I’m starting the NC rule on him here. I figure both of us need space/time to ourselves. What are the chances of the both of us working it out eventually Chris? I really like him and think we’ll be so good together.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 1:45 pm

      Hi Fleur!

      I like your phrase….text terrorist! No worries….most all of us fall into that same trap. Its kind of wired into our psyche when we feel rejected. Clearly, NC is the right move and it will increase your chances. But also having a solid game plan, so go to my website home page and check out some of the resources and tools I offer (ebooks, coaching services, Private Facebook Support Group)! I think you have a good heart and you are going to land on your feet!

  10. Avatar

    Winnie

    July 28, 2018 at 4:15 am

    Hi, I’m currently very desperate because now he totally didn’t text me back. I loves your article, after read this, it’s gave me so much inspiration and i really need self improvement, basically more for myself, i think i really lost myself because fall deeper on him. I should practice out this 4 pillars. Thank you!!!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 28, 2018 at 4:44 am

      Hi Winnie!

      Feel free to explore my ebooks, podcasts, and ebook as there are a lot of strategies and tactics you can employ both for yourself and your owngoing recovery as well as how to proceed with your ex recovery plan.

  11. Avatar

    Rose

    May 8, 2018 at 6:54 pm

    Chris,

    I made the clingy mistake!

    Through out our relationship I wasn’t too bad but towards the end I felt him pulling away and got CLINGY. I mean even worse, I kind of alternated between clingy and withdrawn when I hadn’t seen him. He has a new job and was taken away for work a lot. He was going out loads drinking with his new colleagues and he was sick so I was quite vocal in how I didn’t think he should drink, suggesting date night on the night they would normally go out etc. I mean I was looking out for him but I realise now that should have been his choice and I should have supported him going out if that’s what he decided.

    Then we broke up and my god did I text him a lot for a few days. Then I stopped but then he would do something that sent me back again so I called him a couple of times. I went into NC and lasted 3 weeks until he became friends with his girl colleagues sister on FB and 2 days ago I sent a long hurt message saying he lied basically when he broke up with me because he just wanted to be on his own. He didn’t reply.

    The whole time I had suspected something between him and his new colleague. I won’t go into details but there are reasons for it which strongly point to something between them at least but I don’t think he cheated. They met only 4-6 weeks before our breakup started and she loves going out drinking with him and he told me that. I know going out drinking is important to him and he hated that we disagreed on it.

    What can I do? Can I fix it even though another girl is potentially on the scene (they may not be anything but could be. Definitely they’ll be going out together, hopefully a group of them).

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 9, 2018 at 3:10 am

      Hi Rose…I think you should employ No Contact, but mostly for yourself. Allow yourself time to heal and focus on those goals that are important to you. There ar many things you can do to help your through this recovery stage. Perhaps at the end of your No Contact period, you may have a different view about whether you want him back. Also consider picking one of my ebooks…either “No Contact Rule Book” which is an epic book that deals with all aspects of the No Contact Rule and how you can use it to not only improve your chances of getting your ex back, but help yourself. The other resource you can take a look at is my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”….it is more of a comprehensive Companion Guide on all things related to breakups and how to optimize your chances. Don’t be too hard on yourself about being cling. Look, all of us make plenty of mistakes in relationships. The key is to learn from them and pass them forward in our lives.

  12. Avatar

    Eva

    April 20, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    I made such big mistakes. I just got him back on speeking terms and made him angry. Didn’t listen to his warning to end the talk because he got uncomfy. apologised and he said he needs soace. he calked and wanted to clear. And what did I? reached out again and then complained he didn’t react the way I did. That he wasn’t interested (he wasn’t clearly) and that I talk to someone who is interested. He go so so angry and vindictive in the call…called me mosnter and he has no interest any more why I don’t get that. he texted me he he regrets to be with me it was a mistake, he was never happy (he wasnt really but that was the LDR and his fault of not coping with emotions)just wanted sex and get out and he now doesn’t keep his heart only for me. He even hurt me by telling me he cheated (he once went to a dating portal and I found out) and seems to laugh at me.he told me to frack off and blocked me completely.
    I mean does he really want to get rid of me so badly?Were my mistakes so bad? and I mean I also don’t want to get so humiliated!!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 20, 2018 at 4:40 pm

      Hi there Eva. remember, everyone…I mean everyone makes tons of mistakes when it comes to relationships. Give yourself a break….the past is over. Start a clean slate and focus on the future. He said some cruel things, so that reveals a lot about him. Now you know. Look, you should check out my Private Facebook Support Group. There are about 1400 women that are part of it and they have gone through all sorts of things involving breakups. You can read about it at website Menu/Products link.

    2. Avatar

      Eva

      April 20, 2018 at 5:15 pm

      Hello Chris. I Wanted to join the facebook group but my card cannot be processed. maybe you can help me with a solution.because I want to join

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 20, 2018 at 9:11 pm

      Let me look into it, Eva.

  13. Avatar

    Lisa Barnes

    March 3, 2018 at 7:42 pm

    Years ago before I married I was dating a guy and enjoying the relationship. We had met at church, and he always came and sat by me, and we would go out afterward. One night he came in and sat behind me. I was heartbroken and a bit angry that he would break up in such a rude manner, when he should have explained why and explained in PRIVATE, because I felt that the whole church noticed. Later when I tried to get an explanation, he would say something lame like “My mind is a blank” or some other nonsensical “reason.” I feel that if people cannot have open communication, that is a serious flaw! And when someone breaks up, they should have the integrity to do it face to face and in private. Ultimately, I lost a LOT of respect for this man, who I viewed as a coward after I recovered. I had also been dumped by someone before him, so after this incident, I began to hate men in general. I was nice and sweet to men I knew, but VERY cautious. I must have put up some magical “wall of protection,” because it seems men came out of the woodwork interested in me. But I never totally trusted again, feeling that men just wanted to play games and were not trustworthy!

  14. Avatar

    Pamm Smith

    February 6, 2018 at 2:17 pm

    My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago, but sadly we stated in contact and I feel it might be too late for the 30 rule, because he mentioned 2 days ago my insecurities is the reason why I wanted to break up. We work together, so I’m trying my best to avoid him now. And I haven’t talk to him since then. I honestly think it’s too late for us, but I did realise i forgot who I was while in the relationship. Now I’m just trying to find myself again.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2018 at 12:17 pm

  15. Avatar

    Sophia Morgan

    February 6, 2018 at 12:02 pm

    Hi…I was really controlling during the past few months of our (distance) relationship and invaded his privacy and didn’t give him space when he asked. He has blocked me and told me it’s over and he doesn’t love me anymore but that’s not true because he was making plans for the future 3 weeks ago and has been up and down about this for the past 3 weeks while we were on a “break.” I kept messing the break up and contacting him. He couldn’t even look me in the eyes when he broke up with me. I told him I don’t want to see him when he comes and gets his stuff but I would like to leave an apology note with it for him. I am implementing the no contact because I really want him back, but I feel like if he gets the apology note it will help during the no contact period. Please help me write an apology note for him! I need help. I want him back more than anything in the world he is the love of my life. I’m a broke college student so I can’t really afford any sessions I just really need your help!!! Also what does it mean if he’s turned his friends and family against me ?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2018 at 12:08 pm

      Hi Sophia,

      don’t give an apology note. You would look like you’re chasing him..

  16. Avatar

    justgotdumped

    December 18, 2017 at 8:54 am

    I have been dating this guy for 3 months. We moved pretty fast (sleepovers half of the week) for the first month. And then he started asking me to move in around the 2-month mark. Finally, at about month 3 I agreed to move in. Things were going well, although I realize I may have been clingy. I’ve been cheated on so I was always insecure and scared that he would like other girls. I also complained a lot that he hung out with his friends instead of me. Also that he didn’t text me enough. I feel like the clinginess problems didn’t show up fully until we moved in together though.

    One night, after drinking too much, I got sad and needy and yelled at him a lot. The day after he said we should to take a step back and I should move out. I moved out a few days later. Then a few days later he said he’d be willing to try again. And 2 days later (last time we spoke), I asked him about our status and if we could see other people. He said yes and so I said we might as well break up. In between that and the drunk night, I apologized multiple times saying sorry for being clingy and that I didn’t know I was (kinda embarrassing).

    I’m not sure if he’s already seeing someone new and I don’t plan on contacting him at all. Also I’ve deleted him on social media.

  17. Avatar

    Sammie

    November 8, 2017 at 10:13 am

    I can honestly identify with more than one of the clingy behaviors. I was in a LDR with my ex for 10 months. We met in the same city, then due to job relocation we were LD for 5 months. We communicated everyday and not once had a serious argument. LD just came so naturally easy for us. I understood he had a busy life so I was very understanding about our time together. After reading this article I can look back and realize how ‘clingy’ I had become. There came a point where I had upset him and said he would be “too busy to visit me.” During that time he was off for the weekend and I didn’t get much of his time. And he had told me stuff like that kills him. He actually apologized for the silent treatment he gave me and I apologized for the expectations I was throwing at him, but after that he started to become more distant, less affectionate, and started purposely ignoring me. Naturally, I started to press further which now I can see pushed him way. My last straw was when I heard a rumor that my ex was texting another girl he used to sleep with before we met. I immediately reacted!! I called at least 20 times and kept messaging him. My impatience ended the relationship and I never even got an answer from him about the rumor nor the breakup voicemail I left him 🙁 It has been a week since the breakup. I have not tried contacting him except for a drunk “I’m sorry” text. Obviously I am too embarrassed to even contact him. And after reading this article I’m worried that there is no hope for me. I did not beg him to take me back. Once the breakup was said I let him be. We loved each other and missed each other dearly before my insecurities hit me. I want to believe that by me doing NC I can still have a chance at getting him back. I tried so hard not to be the clingy girlfriend with insecurities, Little did I know I was slowly starting to become one.

  18. Avatar

    amber

    November 7, 2017 at 12:32 am

    Hello
    I really need some advice. my boyfriend and I haven’t always had the best relationship as we were on and off for about a year. There was always his ex gf that would kind of pop back into his life and now that I look back on it he seemed to gravitate towards her when we would start arguing a lot. To make a long story short as of august he asked me to be his girl like officially. we never officially dated because he told me that when he makes a woman his gf that means a lot to him and if he doesnt feel like he can commit to me he wont take that extra step. WEll he finally did and everything was great even though we had basically been together for a year. We were spending basically everyday together, practically living together. And then of course my anger issues started to become a problem again. I would nag at him for small things, for things that I shouldn’t be nagging at him for. I was mad at him for something, either when I woke up or went to bed. Never really got over our past and how he hurt me. He would sneak to talk to his ex and hide his phone from me in the past especially when we werent getting along that well. I never really gave myself that time to heal, we always just jumped right back in after a month or two of being away from eachother. This time though he grew much, mentally he was strong and I could tell he really wanted to be with me. He wasn’t texting his ex he wasnt talking to her he didnt have any lock on his phone and I had full access. He showed me everyday he loved me, showered me with kisses and hugs and sometimes I wouldn’t even want the kiss or hug. He would always call me beautiful and check on me throughout the day and would d anything for me. I mean everything that I wanted out of a man for the most part. I just couldn’t seem to get over the past and he broke up with me. The first time was mid September and said my attitude was too much and I needed to stop being such a nag and just be more calm. we got back together wthin the same week after promising him I would do better. Of course that didn’t last long and mid October he broke up with me again. At first he told me that if I changed my attitude things would work out for us and it doesn’t end here. And he just kept saying he needed space. For a few days after the break up we kept communication with eachother and almost felt like we were going to get back together but he just wasn’t quite there all the way. Well there was a more personal issue that occurred during our break up that I fabricated a little bit because I was desparate and im sure that’s what really made him upset. He went from ignoring me and then would text me to stop calling him and take our pic down on fb. He blocked me on facebook but wont black my number on his phone. He wont pick up he wont text back. NOTHING. I got so desperate I texted him off a different number and he responded with who is this and of course once he found out it was me his response was “ok nobody is going to reply now” or something along those lines. I really love this man. Our relationship didn’t start off as the typical fairy tale but we love eachother. we are best friends. I know I need to give him space stop calling and texting. I really am trying trust me I am but this issue I have with being in control is what just makes all that go out the window. I mean ive even started counseling and everything and I feel a significant change. I honestly feel like that ive called him so much now that hes just done. Sometimes ill call three or 4 times in a row and other days I wont call at all. I know hes still mad but this is something that I haven’t experienced with him. We have broken up before but because of him and him wanting to explore whatever with his ex. and now that he finally got over that and wanted to just be with me, I completely messed up. I hurt him really bad he doesn’t even want to talk to me or anything. What am I supposed to do? I feel like I lost him forever Please help

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 8, 2017 at 5:51 pm

      HI Amber,

      do you want to try the no contact rule and the advice above ?

  19. Avatar

    Tracy

    November 6, 2017 at 11:33 am

    May I also add that me and my ex get on like a house on fire and get on really well. I think that is why we hit it off so well. However I feel like my clinginess and neediness has pushed him away. I was never jealous as I trust him 100% and still do however I can be controlling in ways that things need to be done a certain way which I know now can be annoying esp when I stayed in HIS house. My mum recommends me to give him his space and be patient. She always thinks a lot of my ex and would like to see us both work it out.

    Thanks

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 6, 2017 at 8:25 pm

      HI Tracy,

      restart nc, do at least 30 days and take it slow after that.. don’t sleep with him again..

  20. Avatar

    Tracy

    November 6, 2017 at 11:24 am

    Hi Amor,

    I met my ex-boyfriend on an online dating site 18 months ago. He is 30 and I am 28. We broke up 4 weeks ago after a silly argument and said he wanted to be on his own and didn’t have any interest in talking to any other woman bar me. He also said he wanted to be friends. I already agreed (before finding this website). I did NC for around 1.5/2 weeks. But he contacted me regarding shared bills we have. Before our breakup we had been spending a lot of time together and I was staying at his place the majority of the week. We never did date night or even spent time with our own friends. He has a 9 year old son from a previous relationship which was not good one! They were always fighting and were on and off over a 10 year period. He was single for a little over a year before meeting me. I may also add I am someone who treats him a lot and I can’t help but get him little things etc. He doesn’t have a lot of money after he pays child support, rent and other bills. But I think subconsciously I have made him feel bad or not good enough because he can’t treat me the way I do with him. After we broke-up we did end up sleeping with each other a week later one last time as I told him it will not happen again if he only wanted to be friends and he can’t have his cake and eat it too. He did mention previously in regards to our contact that if we didn’t talk for a few days to not freak out which I agreed was fine but he texts me every day at some stage asking what am I doing etc. We attended a concert last week that we both still wanted to go on and he has asked me to stay and go to work from his house the next day (usual routine when I stayed). I was surprised he asked me this and it made sense trying to get home together after the concert would be easier. I thought everything was going great and we ended up sleeping together after the concert and the next day everything seemed fine after I returned to his from work. We had a takeaway, I showered and then I went home. I noticed he still has the photo of him and I as his lock screen on his iPhone and our holiday photos on his house keys and in around his house and also still has me as his gf on Facebook. I had moved everything out when we fell out a month ago. He continued to txt me each day but feel he is still being very distant towards me but however he would send me sexual/flirty message late at night. I don’t know if he is being hot and cold with me or he still doesn’t know want he wants. My ex is someone who doesn’t talk about his feelings and feels he can never get the right words out. I did end up seeing him on a few nights ago and we had a takeaway and chilled out but he was on his phone a lot (he never has it out of his hand each day anyway). I has asked him I hope he didn’t ask me to stay earlier in the week just to get into bed with me because I think he would think more of me than that and he said he didn’t do that and did it because he wanted to see me. I had told him I am going to my friends baby sons christening and was on looking for something new to wear to which he wanted to see my options. I don’t know if he is giving me mixed signals. His mum texts me every day asking how we are and if I am seeing him and doesn’t understand what’s up with him or what he wants. She is as confused as I am. Could you assist me in anyway with some advice? I know my post is EXTREMELY long but I wanted to give as much information as possible.

1 2 3 13

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.