It’s been said that men are among the most complicated creatures in the world to understand.
I’ve never really got that but then again, I’m a man.
Today I’m going to open up, share all of my experience and teach you how to get your man back.
I’ve decided the best way to do this is by using data that I’ve acquired from real life success stories of clients who’ve read and used the advice in my best selling book.
Over the years there have been four things that have struck me as essential to getting a man back and I’m going to teach you about those four things right here, right now.
The 4 Most Important Ways To Get A Man Back
I started this website in 2012 and the advice I gave to women (and men) back then has dramatically changed. If you want proof you just need to look at my very first article.
It’s not that my advice back then was bad, on the contrary, a lot of people have read that article and gone on to see some great results. However, after years of stress testing and starting my own coaching practice I’ve learned more efficient ways to win a man back.
Below are my five biggest takeaways (which will ultimately create a foundation to help you get your ex back.)
- Utilize A No Contact Rule
- Understand The Value Ladder
- The Girl Who Is Willing To Lose The Guy Will Get The Guy
- Have An Outlet To Air Your Frustrations Out
Now, before we get started I do want to point out that each of the big takeaways I listed above I have only found by leading thousands of individuals to success. To further reiterate this point I have decided to include proof to back my claims up.
I am going to do this by providing screenshots, interviews or email excerpts backing up how each of these takeaways work.
1. Utilize The No Contact Rule
If you aren’t familiar with the no contact rule then you are in for a treat.
The No Contact Rule – Is a period of time where you ignore your man, on purpose. The idea is that by doing this it will cause him to miss you and it will also allow you some time to get your life together after a breakup
Oh, and if you’re not really into reading then you can simply watch one of my videos to further explain it,
I’ve always known the no contact rule was an important rule for getting your ex back.
After all, I spent a month writing this article.
However, it wasn’t until I had the brilliant idea one day to look at all of my success stories (i.e. people who had gotten their exes back using my program) and try to pinpoint any commonalities I could find.
It became very clear after conducting my experiment that the big commonality was that women who got their exes back used the no contact rule.
70% of them to be exact
And I’d even put an asterisk next to that figure because a lot of times I would get a success story the person would literally reach out to me with a,
“Hey Chris, I got my ex back thank you so much.”
Kind of like this,
For the record, Jen is my wife in case you were wondering.
Anyways, notice how Nathalie above didn’t really specify how she got her ex back. She didn’t make any mention of the no contact rule. But since she is in our private facebook group that you can get added to with a purchase of my book, PRO I know for a fact that she utilized a no contact rule on her ex. So, that 70% number I have quoted above might in reality be more like 90%.
All in all here’s my point.
The no contact rule works and it works really well.
2. Understand The Value Ladder
The value ladder is something that I often have to explain to coaching clients.
It may be a little complicated to grasp at first but once you understand the essence of it you’ll start changing your paradigm on how a lot of things in your life work.
Ok, so the best way I can think to explain this is by first discussing how successful businesses become so successful.
Let’s say that you created a product that you are very proud of and you decide to sell it.
Sales are ok but ultimately you don’t make any money.
It takes you $1.00 to make this product and $5 to advertise it. You need to make $6 to get your investment back. People are buying your product (like I said above) but when it’s all said and done you are only making $4 for every $6 spent.
In other words, you lose $2 every time you make a sale.
Not exactly a winning business model.
However, what if I told you that you actually had a very successful business model you’re just missing a value chain?
Take a look at the graphic below,
The secret to making a lot of money is not in the very first product you make. It’s in selling the next product to someone and that’s where the value ladder comes into play.
As long as you can provide value through each “rung” of the ladder people will be lining up to buy what you’re selling.
I’ll give you a real life example.
You go to the dentist…
And they tell you that your teeth look really good but they are a bit stained and yellow. You might benefit from some teeth whitening.
You look in the mirror and say to yourself,
“Hey, I would benefit from some teeth whitening.”
Bam, they just sold you by moving you up the value ladder which looks something like this,
And then after that the dentist says,
“You might actually benefit from this special waterpik toothbrush.”
You hear that and think,
“You know what, I might!”
He’s moving you on up that value ladder,
The dentist can only do this if he convinces you of the value of the next thing he’s selling you.
Which looks like this,
Pretty cool, right?
But the real question here is how the heck do you apply this to your man? How can you use this concept to get your man back?
How To Use The Value Chain To Get Your Man Back
Ok, before I get started I do want to say that this is without a doubt one of the most important concepts for you to grasp if you want to dramatically improve your chances with your ex. The problem is that I can’t do it justice in an article. So, my recommendation to you is pick up my book so that you can get this strategy explained to you perfectly.
If you aren’t really the “reading type” then my other recommendation is to set up a coaching session with me or one of the other coaching sessions so that we can have a few hours to explain it to you.
Here’s the crash course.
Without a doubt there are four strategies that we’ve found to be the most important to get an ex back.
These strategies I like to call “the power four” because there are four of them and they make up the foundation of almost every successful campaign that we’ve had here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery.
- The No Contact Rule (which I wrote about above and have even written a whole book dedicated to the topic)
- Text Messages (which again, is such an important strategy I’ve written a book about it as well.)
- Phone Calls (this includes anything from talking on the phone, facetime, skype, etc)
- Dates (in person interactions is something i’ve written about exclusively on this website.)
So, the idea here is that if you use these strategies in tandem with a value ladder you’ll be able to move your man up the ladder until he eventually wants to get you back.
It looks something like this,
The idea behind it is like this.
You are purposefully going about this in as natural a way as possible because we’ve found that one of the biggest mistakes that women tend to make is rushing things.
Notice how you aren’t ever jumping from something like the no contact rule to a date.
Because I want to ensure that you’ve had time to build up rapport and value so that by the time you get to that date it’s electric.
Too often I see women going from a no contact rule to a date only to come back to me when things didn’t go the way they were hoping.
“Why didn’t it work, Chris?”
It didn’t work because you didn’t build up any type of value before you saw your man in person.
3. The Girl Who Is Willing To Lose The Guy Will Get The Guy
Stop me if you’ve heard me say this before.
The girl who is willing to lose the guy will get the guy…
A few years ago, when I first started my p0odcast I got a listener question from a woman who asked if it was ever possible to get an ex back after you’ve moved on. She cited that it had been years since her breakup and she had completely moved on. In that time her business had taken off and she really got her life together.
And then, like a comet, her ex boyfriend started trying to win her back.
This wasn’t the first time I had heard about this phenomenon. In fact, I noticed from interviewing a lot of my success stories that they had experienced this phenomenon as well.
Well, that’s a little hard to decipher.
Quite frankly, I’m still trying to work that out. However, I do have a hypothesis.
My Hypothesis On Why This Works So Well
Most of the people coming to this website want their exes back more than anything.
I’ve seen some crazy things that would make you shocked (I’ll just leave it at that.)
The important thing to grasp here is the motivation behind doing those crazy things.
They want their exes back.
And therein lies the problem.
Trying too hard to get an ex back reeks of desperation.
Everyone knows that in life it’s often the person with most of the leverage that wins and when you act overly desperate you basically lose any leverage over your ex.
However, here’s where things get really interesting.
Chances are that you are not your exes first relationship. The odds say that you are probably going to be somewhere between his third of fifth serious relationship which means he has some experience with breakups.
And women who have been broken up with will beg for their exes back at one point. So, he probably has this preconceived notion about you begging for him back. So, when the opposite happens it almost intrigues him and creates leverage for you.
By truly being willing to “lose him” you gain leverage that you need to get him back
Now, the keyword I want you to take note of is the word “truly.” Most women aren’t truly willing to let go of their exes. In fact, imagining a future without their ex is the thing that keeps them up at night haunting them.
But you have to be willing to go there.
And that’s not an easy thing.
4. Have An Outlet To Air Your Frustrations Out
People don’t like the idea of getting an ex back.
That’s something that I’ve learned in the last half decade. Whenever I tell people that I am a professional relationship consultant specializing in breakups they give me this weird look like I have the plague.
And I’m sure you’ve had your own experiences with this, right?
You tell your friends and family that you want your ex back and they tell you that it’s a bad idea and try to do everything to prevent you from accomplishing your goal. Of course, this creates a nagging worry that if you do end up getting your man back your friends and family are going to make your life a living he*l.
So, in essence a lot of women go through this process alone.
And that can be a dangerous thing.
I’m here to tell you that you aren’t alone.
When I created Ex Boyfriend Recovery I thought I was creating a place where people could come and interact to vent their frustrations about the process out. The problem is that all this website really does is start a conversation between you and me. What really needs to happen is that a conversation needs to be started between you and other people in your EXACT SITUATION!
So, last year I decided to open up a private facebook group for people who were my clients.
Slowly but surely as we grew I began to realize what a good idea this was.
Not only are people in that group having higher success rates but they are making lifelong friends and it’s a resource that everyone can use no matter where they are in the process.
And something I’d take advantage of if I was you!