Today I’m going to show you exactly what to do if you are still in love with your ex and you want them back.
In fact, what I’m about to unveil to you today is something that I usually only reserve for my private coaching clients.
In all, there are five important concepts that I’m going to be asking you to grasp.
So, if you are ready to have your mind blown then let’s begin.
I Still Love My Ex (What Should I Do?)
Most of the clients that me and my team take on are in the process of trying to win their exes back.
This makes me especially qualified to talk about this topic and bring my own expertise into the equation.
Over the last decade I’ve pinpointed five concepts that are essential to accomplish if you still have feelings for your ex and want them back.
- Fully grasp why you are still in love with your ex
- Have the proper frame work to get your ex back
- Go through something scary together
- Subtly show interest in someone else
- Cultivate your ideal image
Seems pretty straightforward, right?
But rather than explain why I’ll do you one better, I’ll show you.
From the top.
Concept #1: Fully Grasp Why You Are Still In Love With Your Ex
Research shows us some interesting things about breakups.
For example, did you know that when scientists hook up an MRI machine to the brain and show a person pictures of their ex the part of the brain that becomes active is the same part that becomes active when drug addicts are looking for a fix?
The greatest trick Hollywood has played on us for the past hundred years is convincing us that “love” is this grand thing.
That it somehow transcends reality.
Physiologically that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Love is nothing more than a set of chemicals regulated by your brain.
All emotions are.
I say that not to make you angry but to make you understand that you do have a certain measure of control when it comes to making your ex feel a certain way.
Think back to the MRI example I gave above.
It essentially proves that what you are going through.
It’s all chemical akin to a drug addict looking for a fix.
The sooner you realize how artificial all of these things you are feeling are the sooner you’ll realize the truth, that you can use these chemicals to your advantage.
After all, what is affecting you chemically can certainly affect your ex.
Relationships are nothing more than two people on opposite sides of a coin.
If that’s true then you can use it to your advantage.
Well, that’s where concept two comes into play.
Concept #2: Have The Proper Framework Or Plan To Get Your Ex Back
It’s hilarious to me how often people attempt this process without any type of plan.
They think that by just acting the answers will come to them.
That’s not how this works.
I’m all for adaptation. In fact, I’d make a case that it’s among the most important things for you to grasp but only after you understand how you should be getting your ex back.
Think of it like this.
Let’s say you have two people, person A and person B.
Both people have the same goal, they want to win their exes back.
Their situations are practically identical which means they have roughly the same odds of success.
The only thing separating them is that person A has a science backed plan for success and person B doesn’t,
Who is going to win?
Person A, right?
Of course, the question you ask now is,
Chris, I have no idea what to do to create a “game plan” what can I do?
Lucky you, I’ve spend the last six years fine tuning and creating one for you.
Concept #3: Go Through Something Scary Together
This is a really underrated concept that I don’t see any of my peers talking about and perhaps the best part is that it all revolves around chemicals.
Specifically adrenaline but more on that in a minute.
Have you read any of my articles on a concept called “misattribution of emotions?”
Essentially it states that when you experience something emotional you are going to attribute those emotions to something that makes sense to you, even if it doesn’t.
I’ll give you an example.
Let’s say that you and your ex go out on a date and you decide that you want to see a scary movie.
(Not that type of scary movie, an actual scary one.)
I’m talking about something that will make the both of you jump.
Something that will cause you to grab onto the first thing that makes sense because you’re too afraid to watch what happens next.
Something that will cause your adrenaline to go way up.
Well, if you understand the misattribution of emotions concept you’ll actually begin to attribute those feelings you are having to your ex and they will attribute what they are feeling to you.
I’ll give you another example.
Misattribution of emotions wasn’t an idea founded by me. Instead, it was founded by a guy named Dan Ariely.
Anyways, one of the research studies he cited gave a really fascinating example.
Scientists wanted to measure this idea of misattributing emotions so they took a number of men and divided them into two groups.
Group A and Group B
The test was pretty simple.
The scientists placed a beautiful woman at the end of two bridges. It was her job to ask questions about their experience.
One bridge was very safe and sturdy and the other wasn’t,
The scientists were trying to measure which group of men asked for the woman’s number more.
Which group do you think ended up doing it more?
Group B… the group that had to walk across a very scary and unsteady looking bridge.
The idea here was that because of that frightening experience of walking across a creaky bridge they attributed their adrenaline rush to the pretty girl at the end of the bridge.
Concept #4: Show Subtle Interest In Someone Else
This concept may be a bit controversial but before you skip it I want to ask you to give it a chance.
Scientists have been studying love for years.
Specifically, how to make someone fall in love with you.
What they found was pretty interesting.
If you like someone, one of the smartest things you can do is show interest in one of their friends.
It seems weird, right?
Apparently it’s supposed to make your target crave more attention from you.
Here’s the thing though, when I read that research for the first time I shook my head and thought,
This hasn’t been my experience with getting an ex to fall in love with you at all.
But it’s important to note there is a subtle difference between trying to get an ex to fall in love with you and trying to get someone you like to fall in love with you.
The difference is that you have dated your ex so it might be a huge slight to “show interest in their friend.”
Instead, what me and my team have found success with is when you show interest in someone new.
By going on dates after the breakup it really goes a long way to create,
- Fear of loss
Concept #5: Cultivate Your Ideal Image
Are you familiar with my article on “the ungettable girl?”
How about my video,
The ungettable girl is an ideal to strive towards.
It’s an independent woman who basically leaves a trail of men in her wake.
Did I ever tell you how I came up with the idea of an ungettable girl?
My friend and I were having beers one night and he was telling me about his girlfriend,
“Chris man, I love her to death but honestly I’ve been with her for so long it’s getting kind of boring.”
Almost at that exact moment our waitress waltzed up to ask us what we’d like for dinner.
We were both struck by her beauty.
Now, I can’t speak for anyone else except myself but beauty is striking because of it’s possibilities.
When I saw my wife for the first time she was giving a present to her niece.
It was Christmas and I just saw this undeniable beauty being sweet to a little girl.
My first thought was,
“That’s someone I could build a life with.”
Sure, she was strikingly beautiful but there was more to her beauty than that. It was all the imagined possibilities that made her so exciting.
But I’m getting off topic.
My friend had a similar experience with this waitress,
“Can you imagine what life would be like dating her?”
Bear in mind, this was from a guy who already had a girlfriend.
Of course, I saw what he was talking about.
But that’s nothing the craziest thing I witnessed that night.
After she had been to our table I watched her as she took orders at other tables.
I watched as she cast the same spell over other men that she did over my friend and I.
What was it about her that made men so spellbound.
That’s part of the problem I notice most of my clients run into when trying to get their exes back.
Their ex can’t imagine possibilities anymore.
They feel they’ve experienced everything already.
Which is why you need to cultivate your image in a way that allows your ex to imagine the possibilities he missed out on.