What To Text Your Ex After A Breakup (And How To Incorporate Social Media)

Texting an ex who you want back after a breakup is always one of the most difficult things to successfully pull off.

A part of you wants to get on your hands and knees and beg to your hearts content but you know that you can’t do that because people don’t exactly find that attractive.

How many texts should you send your ex?

What should you say in those texts?

What if they don’t respond?

Well, I thought it might be interesting to consult someone who very recently got her ex back and see if she had any advice.

I’d like to introduce you to “anonymous” (she wanted to remain anonymous) who just got her ex back.

For those of you interested she is a member of our private support group and her story behind how she got her ex back has garnered so much attention on the group that she is constantly getting requests for it,

This is a little snippet of a conversation I had with her where she told me that she was interested in writing about exactly what she did to get her ex back.

Her ideas on texting are revolutionary.

So, I am just going to hand her the microphone and let her take over from here,

Exactly What To Text Your Ex And Send Them On Social Media After A Breakup

Raise your hand if you want to have a step by step guide of how to approach the campaign to win your ex back?

“Why do I need a plan?” I hear you ask… well Benjamin Franklin once said,

“If you fail to plan, plan to fail”

And he was right; studies have shown that you are 39% more likely to succeed in anything if you have a plan.

Today is your lucky day because this article is going to give you some tools that will show you how to plan out your texts and your social media posts to ensure that you increase your chances of getting your ex back.

We are going to take you through all the information you need to know about:-

  • Understanding your areas for self-improvement
  • Making the most of you social media
  • The best topics to text your ex-boyfriend about
  • How to track your texting progress

Are you excited?….. Then go grab a pen and some paper and let’s get started!

This article is going to draw a lot of information from the articles and books relating to the becoming the “Un-gettable Girl” and the “Types of Texts” so if you haven’t read those…. Make sure you read them too!

Many of you will be confused about what you need to do to go get your ex back.

To understand what you need to post and text you will need to create five lists:-

  1. Things your ex liked about you.
  2. Things your ex didn’t like about you.
  3. Your ex-boyfriend’s hobbies and interests
  4. Places you went together and experiences you shared.
  5. The qualities that men look for in girlfriend

Take time to really think about these in detail as you need these later. The more items you have on each of your lists the easier you will find the next few activities.

What Should I Post On Social Media?

To understand what you should post, you will need to look at the first two lists you have made.

The list of “Things your ex liked about you” are the thing’s in your life you don’t want to change about yourself. Let’s refer to these from now on as your ‘core appeal’.

The things your ex didn’t like about you are your areas for improvement and you should think of ways to tailor your efforts to become the Un-gettable Girl based on this list. Below is a table that will give you an idea of the sort of things you might consider listing.

Now you have your lists, use the things he liked about you to think of ways to you can expand on them.

Example 1
If he liked your shared sense of music, you could go to concerts or learn an instrument.

Example 2
If he appreciated your intelligence, you could show him you are striving in your career or reading new books.

The things you have identified he didn’t like about you are the areas you need to work on the most and you will need to find ways to improve yourself.

Example 3
If you had clingy behaviour a good way to highlight you have changed is to do new activities and make new friends.

Example 4
If you were uncaring show public gratitude to your friends and family from time to time or think about doing some charity work.

All of you will have lists unique to your own circumstances that you can use to develop. Make sure you cover off each of the three Un-gettable Girl categories for self-improvement, ie health, wealth and relationships.

Making the most of your social media

I want you to start thinking of your social media as a way to advertise something people will want……That thing is you!

You need to start showing to your ex that you are the un-gettable girl by advertising it on social media for him to see.

This means you should post interesting and exciting material about yourself living a happy life. Please avoid posting anything that seems sad or angry, this will not have the effect you want when trying to win back your ex-boyfriend.

How is this going to work?

When you are following your no-contact period, your ex will wonder why you haven’t contacted them yet, eventually they will become curious and start checking your social media to see what you have been up to lately.

If you are not currently connected on social media I recommend you start making some of your posts visible to the public on Facebook and making your entire profile visible on accounts like Instagram where that is socially acceptable. This will make it easier for your ex to see the new, awesome, improved life you are advertising on social media!

Look more popular

I want you to gather some trusted friends to help you. These friends are going to help you by liking and commenting on your social media posts, this will make you seem more popular and increase the level of attraction your ex feels towards you when viewing your profile; this is due to your perceived social proof.

A really fast way to gain extra followers and seem popular is to investigate internet marketing companies, who, for a few dollars will gather 100’s of new friends or followers for you. These marketing companies will increase the number of comments your posts will receive and can also ensure you appear at the top of your ex-boyfriends newsfeed so they never miss a post.

Companies like Marketingram.com, Thesocialguys.co.uk and Boostlikes.com all offer internet marketing services but I suggest you undertake some research to find a company that suits your needs.

A good way to make your posts more popular on sites like Twitter and Instagram is to ensure that you are including a few popular hashtags, this will attract new viewers to your profile.
Sites like top-hashtags.com can help you find the best hashtags to include with your posts.

Get some new profile pictures

Websites like craigslist.com and gumtree.com will often have amateur or student photographers who are willing to undertake work for free in exchange for images they can use for their portfolio of work. This is an effective way to get some new profile pictures taken or have some professional images of an event done without spending any money and will give your profile a new look with which to surprise your ex-boyfriend.

You can also make your profile more appealing to your ex by following these basic photography tips for any pictures you take yourself.

Take photographs from unusual angles

Stand in the middle of group photographs as it will make you seem more popular.

Apply interesting filters to your photograph using apps like Photoshop, Fantasia or Facetune

What if my ex–boyfriend has limited access to social media?

If your ex-boyfriend only has a few moments a day to access the internet you may want to create photographic montage made from several images; this is a quick way for your ex to see everything you have been doing in a couple of seconds.

Montage are also an excellent at showing the improvements you have made over a period of time, this is especially useful when losing weight and getting fit.

Do you remember in the film Rocky where they used a montage to show all of Rocky’s fitness progress in a few seconds?………. I bet you started feeling invested in Rocky’s progress and excited to watch more?

I want you to use that same montage effect to grab your ex-boyfriends attention and get him feeling invested in your progress and excited to learn more about you.

How often and when should I post?

Go back over your social media accounts for the month before you broke up and look at how often you posted to each of them. Try to use this as a guide of how often you can post to social media from now on.

For those of you who rarely posted beforehand or currently have no social media, try posting once a week and slowly building up to a few posts, following the table below as a guide.

The posting calendar

Next step is to get a month on a page calendar and mark on it days when you will post, what you will post, what category you will post and to which type of social media. Keep in mind that you can only post in line with your normal frequency.

It is a good idea to color code each of your posts on the calendar depending on the categories they fall under, this will help you see if you are posting evenly across the month. The calendar above uses green for health, blue for wealth, yellow for relationships and purple for core appeal.

You only have a limited number of posts you can make per week so if possible try to combine categories wherever possible such as a day hiking with friends, this would allow you to combine health (hiking) with relationships (friends). In combining categories you can convey more improvement in your life in a smaller amount of posts.

Will the time of day I post matter?

I’m going to tell you that the best time for you to post to your social media is 12:00-13:00 on a weekday and between 12:00 – 15:00 at the weekend.

This is because people most commonly check their social media updates during their lunch break.

If your ex-boyfriend lives in another time zone remember you need to factor in the time difference so the post goes up during his lunch hour and not yours.

I don’t have the time….

There are apps that you can use to create and store posts weeks in advance for all your social media accounts and set the time and day you would like it to upload.

Apps like Everypost, Later, Buffer, and Besttime will allow you to plan in advance and will automatically post on your behalf when you are too busy being the Un-gettable Girl to be playing around on social media!

Texting

Now onto the exciting part….. let’s discuss your texting!

During your 21 days no contact, I want you to start planning and drafting your texts. This is going to help keep you organised and prepare you for your texting stage.

Start by collecting funny memes, interesting photographs and videos that you can attach to your text messages based on the lists we made earlier on.

Once you have a stockpile of images create some pre-drafted texts that you can use during the Texting Phase.

How do I know what to text?

Your texts will be drawn from the third and fourth lists you created earlier. I want you to use the items in your lists to give you topics you can talk about in your texts.

The list of hobbies and interests your ex has should be used to help you draft the “First contact” text message as well the “Guess what?” and finally the “Damsel in Distress” type text messages.
The places you went and experiences you shared should form your “Memory” texts and also can be used for “Guess what?” texts.

Once you have predrafted your texts using the other articles or the Texting Bible the next step is to try and pair a few of your texts so that they link in with your social media posting calendar.

Linking your posts to your texts will increase your ex’s curiosity in your life and will increase his likelihood of replying to your texts. Below are some examples of how you could link your social media posts to your texts.

Example 5

One of the experiences you shared together was a trekking holiday. You could link a post about a hiking trip with friends with a memory text a day or two after your post that references how it reminded you of the holiday.

Example 6

One of his interests is cycling. You could post about getting fit and then link it to a text asking for advice on cycling helmets a few days later.

Now that you have created a library of texts and know which social media posts they link to, you should also mark the dates you want to send your texts on the calendar.
Ideally you want to leave at least 24 hours between a post and a text but no more than three days.

It is ok if you have several texts and posts overlapping in your schedule, it is also not a problem if not all of your texts link to a post.

The Fifth Element

There was a list we haven’t used yet……. This is the magical factor that ties everything together. I call it the “Fifth element” because I love that movie!

When you reach the texting phase I want you to refer to the list you created of “The qualities men look for in a girlfriend”, this should include things like being honest, trustworthy, kind, supportive, funny etc.

Each time you have a conversation either by text or on the phone you should find a way to weave a “fifth element” that appears on your list into the conversation when your ex responds.
This is going to help you appear more valuable to him as a potential girlfriend.

Example 7

Your ex-boyfriend tells you he has an interview. Try and seem interested and supportive of his efforts to get a new job.

Example 8

Your ex-boyfriend is feeling down. Try to cheer him up using your sense of humour.

Each time you manage to weave in a “fifth element” I want you to tick it off your list so you can keep track of what has happened.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

How do I know if the texting is working?

Once you start the texting phase, you should record some data about how your ex-boyfriend responds.

  • Things you might want to consider recording are:-
  • Time of day text was sent
  • Who initiated the conversation
  • Who ended the conversation
  • How many texts you sent
  • How many texts he sent
  • Total text length of the conversation
  • What medium you sent the message (text, whatsapp, messenger, email etc)
  • What attachment you sent (video, photo, gif)
  • The subject matter of the text

Recording these in a computer spreadsheet is idea but if you don’t have a computer you can easily track your progress on paper by making a table.

This is an example of what your table might look like.

Here you will see it has been color coded red, yellow and green to show positive, neutral and Negative/No reply. You will also notice that some rows are lighter in tone than others, this highlights whether you or your ex-boyfriend initiated the conversation.

Laying the information out like this gives you a way to see patterns in your ex-boyfriends behavior; it will help you figure out what works and doesn’t work when texting your ex.

Example 9

Using the table above we can see that:-

  • That this particular ex-boyfriend doesn’t like .gifs or video attachments
  • This ex does not respond well to snapchat or instamessage
  • He doesn’t reply between 8:00-9:00am or 3:30-5:00pm

If you find this sort of information is very helpful to you, you may want to consider making a chart like this:

I’m a big fan of charts as these will help you to visualise who is controlling the conversations.

  • You will see in the example chart that not every conversation will last as long as the last and it is normal for this vary day to day.
  • The thing you are interested in is the progress overall, if on average you can see that the length of conversations is increasing then you are seeing positive improvements with your ex-boyfriend.
  • If you are seeing your conversations shrink in length, then you should review your table to figure out the reason he isn’t responding positively.

By taking the time to record some information you can make every text work to your maximum advantage!

Now that you have a step by step guide on your social media posts, texts and progress tracking you are ready to start winning your ex back…….. Good luck!!!!

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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94 Comments on "What To Text Your Ex After A Breakup (And How To Incorporate Social Media)"

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Confused
Guest

I feel that our texting pattern is weird. Like the convo doesnt end, and its flowing a but veryy very slowly. He replies after a few days, and it seems to be a pattern. Wondering what is your take on my situation

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

What do you talk about?

Confused
Guest

I feel that our texting pattern is weird. Like the convo doesnt end, and its flowing a but veryy very slowly. He replies after a few days, and it seems to be a pattern. Wondering what is your take on my situation

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

What do you talk about?

Jean
Guest

I’m inspired! I’m signing up on the EBR Private Group on FB. Will I be able to see her story posted there? (I’m on an LDR as well)

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jean,
You can.. just ask in the group who the author of this post is and search for her name in the group and you’ll see her older posts.

Jean
Guest

I’m inspired! I’m signing up on the EBR Private Group on FB. Will I be able to see her story posted there? (I’m on an LDR as well)

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jean,
You can.. just ask in the group who the author of this post is and search for her name in the group and you’ll see her older posts.

Wondering
Guest
My ex and i broke up about a month ago. We were together for about 4-5 months. He broke it off because he wanted to focus on himself. I did the crying and pleading during the initial breakup. We didn’t speak for a week but I texted him the second week, not much was said except that he wasn’t going to change his mind and he said “I hope you understand” and I replied by saying “I know there’s not much else to say that. I wish things were different between us”. He never replied. I decided to do NC… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yup you should.. That’s your indirect way of showing you’re moving on and not chasing

Wondering
Guest
My ex and i broke up about a month ago. We were together for about 4-5 months. He broke it off because he wanted to focus on himself. I did the crying and pleading during the initial breakup. We didn’t speak for a week but I texted him the second week, not much was said except that he wasn’t going to change his mind and he said “I hope you understand” and I replied by saying “I know there’s not much else to say that. I wish things were different between us”. He never replied. I decided to do NC… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yup you should.. That’s your indirect way of showing you’re moving on and not chasing

Anon
Guest
So my ex has been the one saying “I hope we can be friends” ever since our break up (4 months ago) and at first I said no because I couldn’t handle it. I did 45 days of nc, during which he contacted me twice. Now I’m trying to build rapport through text. We’ve had a few positive text conversations, one in which we agreed to be friends, but I’m the one initiating most of the time. Is that a bad sign? I don’t text him everyday, the last text convo we had was a week ago. So I was… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

It’s ok that you’re initiating, what’s more important is you’re the one ending the conversation at high point. Don’t focus in the other girl. Focus in continuing improving yourself and building rapport and attraction with him.

Anon
Guest
So my ex has been the one saying “I hope we can be friends” ever since our break up (4 months ago) and at first I said no because I couldn’t handle it. I did 45 days of nc, during which he contacted me twice. Now I’m trying to build rapport through text. We’ve had a few positive text conversations, one in which we agreed to be friends, but I’m the one initiating most of the time. Is that a bad sign? I don’t text him everyday, the last text convo we had was a week ago. So I was… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

It’s ok that you’re initiating, what’s more important is you’re the one ending the conversation at high point. Don’t focus in the other girl. Focus in continuing improving yourself and building rapport and attraction with him.

Confused
Guest
So I work with my ex and he broke up with me 2 and a half months ago. I was really devastated and acted very needy and clingy and cried a lot to him and begged for him back for a couple of weeks. After that didn’t work I gave him some space but he seemed to be much happier without me, he started dating other girls online around this time and started being really distant. He saw me in the street one day and looked the other way so I decided to go no contact for 30 days. I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Confused,

Let’s say yes.. that probably means he’s doing it to feed his ego or to see how you would react or to get the power back after being ignored.. just let him be but keep building rapport slowly.

Confused
Guest
So I work with my ex and he broke up with me 2 and a half months ago. I was really devastated and acted very needy and clingy and cried a lot to him and begged for him back for a couple of weeks. After that didn’t work I gave him some space but he seemed to be much happier without me, he started dating other girls online around this time and started being really distant. He saw me in the street one day and looked the other way so I decided to go no contact for 30 days. I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Confused,

Let’s say yes.. that probably means he’s doing it to feed his ego or to see how you would react or to get the power back after being ignored.. just let him be but keep building rapport slowly.

Ranz
Guest
Hi. I need help. I broke NC after 27 days. So here’s my story. We dated for 2.5 years and we were in an on off relationship. He broke it off last month and says his reasons are he wants to focus on his studies and that the relationship was broken anyway. I begged for him for 10 days and he didn’t reply to anything before starting NC. He blocked me on social media and from his phone. A week into NC he messaged me on Viber to call me out for having a viber account. I didn’t have a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yeah do one week nc and go back to being active in improving yourself and in posting..he probably thinks youre5 trying to get him back..so convey indirectly through your posts that you have a life

Ranz
Guest
Hi. I need help. I broke NC after 27 days. So here’s my story. We dated for 2.5 years and we were in an on off relationship. He broke it off last month and says his reasons are he wants to focus on his studies and that the relationship was broken anyway. I begged for him for 10 days and he didn’t reply to anything before starting NC. He blocked me on social media and from his phone. A week into NC he messaged me on Viber to call me out for having a viber account. I didn’t have a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yeah do one week nc and go back to being active in improving yourself and in posting..he probably thinks youre5 trying to get him back..so convey indirectly through your posts that you have a life

Laura
Guest

Hi, Amor
I’m not sure about how can I flirt by text messages(tbh I think I’ve never done flirting on purpose on my life, so I don’t have any idea about it)… Any advice? Won’t it seem like chasing? -My ex is of the kind of “need a little push” (I saw that in one of your articles)- So, because I begged I don’t wanna be chasing, but I also want to get him back as soon as possible, I don’t know how to push him

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

flirting can be a lot of ways like being funny or cheeky or intellectually challenging, or teasing. Anything that gets him interested in you and would want to talk to you more

Laura
Guest

So, if he wants to be friends, I have to use flirting and he will see me as a possible romantic partner again? I’m kind of worried about getting friendzoned

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Not always.. be friendly too, intellectually interesting especially about his interest, be funny but most of all be genuine but dont be desperate..

Laura
Guest

Hi, Amor
I’m not sure about how can I flirt by text messages(tbh I think I’ve never done flirting on purpose on my life, so I don’t have any idea about it)… Any advice? Won’t it seem like chasing? -My ex is of the kind of “need a little push” (I saw that in one of your articles)- So, because I begged I don’t wanna be chasing, but I also want to get him back as soon as possible, I don’t know how to push him

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

flirting can be a lot of ways like being funny or cheeky or intellectually challenging, or teasing. Anything that gets him interested in you and would want to talk to you more

Laura
Guest

So, if he wants to be friends, I have to use flirting and he will see me as a possible romantic partner again? I’m kind of worried about getting friendzoned

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Not always.. be friendly too, intellectually interesting especially about his interest, be funny but most of all be genuine but dont be desperate..

Gwen
Guest
Hi Amor, If I text him and then he answers next day should I wait to answer him or do I answer right back? Because it’s the third time it happens and the two first times I answered the same day, but today he has answered after one whole day and I’m thinking about answering tomorrow… I’m a bit lost too because I did NC for 2 weeks after the NC I did of 30 days because things were not going very well and I decided to start again. I’m trying tide theory and right now I’m in the funny… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Gwen,

that’s normal because you’re hoping.. but avoid doing it again.. come from a perspective that your ex doesn’t really care.. it’s not his duty to reply to you because you’re not his gf.. if he somebody that is not interested in you, how are you going to approach the situation?

Gwen
Guest

Yes I know but then he acts weird these days he has been writing more and called me, I think he called me last night being drunk but I answered anyway and I don’t know if I shouldn’t have done it but anyway it was just a normal conversation, I’m a bit worried because of talking to much just in three days even though I try to end conversations soon, but at least we are talking. Should I go slower talking with him or it doesn’t really matter if it’s him who calls and all of that?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it’s a good sign 🙂 it’s just that, you are more rational and proactive if you come from a perspective of starting over.. like in that instance, you would view it as a little win, a data for the next move, but that’s not enough to invest everything and then hope that he would too..

Gwen
Guest
Hi Amor, I was trying to go slow, he started calling and writing everyday, I was worried about this before because I always iniciated but now he iniciates more than me. However I think I did something wrong. I was sending him a memory text and it went well but when I was going to finish the conversation he told me not to go that he wanted to keep talking. We kept talking normal but ended flirting too much and he telling me he misses me and wants to come and see me as soon as he can (it was… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

what did you tell him when he told you that?

Gwen
Guest

You mean when he told me he likes me? As he started telling me he wants to come here because he misses me and then he started being cute I asked him directly if he still likes me and he answered me with all of that telling me that he truly likes me and that I’m the only person he would think about for a relationship when he feels ready because he has felt a lot with me and then all about the problems in his life

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

oh sorry.. i wasnt clear..i meant when he told you he likes you, what did you reply to him? are you still talking now?

Gwen
Guest
Yes we are talking and I feel I’m not following the plan so much because I don’t want our conversations to be weird but we are talking more and I didn’t tell him anything directly but he answered as knowing I still liked him and anyway the other day it happened again that in the conversation we talked about these things and I told him. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that… :/ I feel I’m being easy and not ungettable. This last weekend we talked a lot on the phone. But then he didn’t answer to me yesterday and… Read more »
Gwen
Guest

Oh and btw what I answered exactly after he told me he likes me but he still isn’t ready and all of that was that it’s ok and we will see what happens in time, and that maybe he just needs time to think about everything. I wanted to calm the conversation and not make it uncomfortable. Then we just went to sleep.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

hmm.. it’s ok to say its ok but not ok to tell him that maybe he just needs time because it sounds like you’re just there and he can have all the time in the world.. just show more through your activities that if he doesn’t act fast, he could lose you

Gwen
Guest
Hi Amor, If I text him and then he answers next day should I wait to answer him or do I answer right back? Because it’s the third time it happens and the two first times I answered the same day, but today he has answered after one whole day and I’m thinking about answering tomorrow… I’m a bit lost too because I did NC for 2 weeks after the NC I did of 30 days because things were not going very well and I decided to start again. I’m trying tide theory and right now I’m in the funny… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Gwen,

that’s normal because you’re hoping.. but avoid doing it again.. come from a perspective that your ex doesn’t really care.. it’s not his duty to reply to you because you’re not his gf.. if he somebody that is not interested in you, how are you going to approach the situation?

Gwen
Guest

Yes I know but then he acts weird these days he has been writing more and called me, I think he called me last night being drunk but I answered anyway and I don’t know if I shouldn’t have done it but anyway it was just a normal conversation, I’m a bit worried because of talking to much just in three days even though I try to end conversations soon, but at least we are talking. Should I go slower talking with him or it doesn’t really matter if it’s him who calls and all of that?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it’s a good sign 🙂 it’s just that, you are more rational and proactive if you come from a perspective of starting over.. like in that instance, you would view it as a little win, a data for the next move, but that’s not enough to invest everything and then hope that he would too..

Gwen
Guest
Hi Amor, I was trying to go slow, he started calling and writing everyday, I was worried about this before because I always iniciated but now he iniciates more than me. However I think I did something wrong. I was sending him a memory text and it went well but when I was going to finish the conversation he told me not to go that he wanted to keep talking. We kept talking normal but ended flirting too much and he telling me he misses me and wants to come and see me as soon as he can (it was… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

what did you tell him when he told you that?

Gwen
Guest

You mean when he told me he likes me? As he started telling me he wants to come here because he misses me and then he started being cute I asked him directly if he still likes me and he answered me with all of that telling me that he truly likes me and that I’m the only person he would think about for a relationship when he feels ready because he has felt a lot with me and then all about the problems in his life

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

oh sorry.. i wasnt clear..i meant when he told you he likes you, what did you reply to him? are you still talking now?

Gwen
Guest
Yes we are talking and I feel I’m not following the plan so much because I don’t want our conversations to be weird but we are talking more and I didn’t tell him anything directly but he answered as knowing I still liked him and anyway the other day it happened again that in the conversation we talked about these things and I told him. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that… :/ I feel I’m being easy and not ungettable. This last weekend we talked a lot on the phone. But then he didn’t answer to me yesterday and… Read more »
Gwen
Guest

Oh and btw what I answered exactly after he told me he likes me but he still isn’t ready and all of that was that it’s ok and we will see what happens in time, and that maybe he just needs time to think about everything. I wanted to calm the conversation and not make it uncomfortable. Then we just went to sleep.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

hmm.. it’s ok to say its ok but not ok to tell him that maybe he just needs time because it sounds like you’re just there and he can have all the time in the world.. just show more through your activities that if he doesn’t act fast, he could lose you

Carolina
Guest
Hi, I was in a great long distance relationship that ended last October, since then I did exactly what I was supposed to do, no contact rule, not showing him that I wanted him back, but still being very friendly, like sending him a Christmas video message, or just saying hello emails, he would answer back very politely but like 20-30 days later, always keeping things friendly, both of us have never implying anything else, but he was always asking that if I was already dating somebody else, or telling me that I deserve to find someone that takes good… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Sorry Carolina I’m confused. I just want to make it clear, did you mean you still talked in a friendly way with during the no contact rule? Because if you did, that’s not a no contact period..

Carolina
Guest
Hi, I was in a great long distance relationship that ended last October, since then I did exactly what I was supposed to do, no contact rule, not showing him that I wanted him back, but still being very friendly, like sending him a Christmas video message, or just saying hello emails, he would answer back very politely but like 20-30 days later, always keeping things friendly, both of us have never implying anything else, but he was always asking that if I was already dating somebody else, or telling me that I deserve to find someone that takes good… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Sorry Carolina I’m confused. I just want to make it clear, did you mean you still talked in a friendly way with during the no contact rule? Because if you did, that’s not a no contact period..

Kandace
Guest
My boyfriend and I broke up almost 24 hours ago because of religious views. We dated for about 7 months . He came over to my house last night and hung out with my family. But we broke up last night because of his bishop. I decided to do no contact right away. I haven’t heard from him today, but I did change my FBprofile picture back to only being me. I have a good feeling he’ll be back in a day or two to talk. We didn’t fight or I haven’t texted him constantly. I just dropped off the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Kandace
Guest
My boyfriend and I broke up almost 24 hours ago because of religious views. We dated for about 7 months . He came over to my house last night and hung out with my family. But we broke up last night because of his bishop. I decided to do no contact right away. I haven’t heard from him today, but I did change my FBprofile picture back to only being me. I have a good feeling he’ll be back in a day or two to talk. We didn’t fight or I haven’t texted him constantly. I just dropped off the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Mor
Guest
Hi My ex and I broke up around December 2015. We were in contact till Jan 2016 and that’s it, he just wished me a happy birthday after that. i haven’t been worrying too much about him, I’m open to the possibility of getting him back but I’m not doing anything to do so. However, recently I’ve been wanting to text him, I want to know how he is doing, it’s been so long since we’ve talked, and I’ve even considered trying to be his friend. I’m scared to do that though, because he might not respond. Is it a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

you wont know if you don’t try..

Mor
Guest
Hi My ex and I broke up around December 2015. We were in contact till Jan 2016 and that’s it, he just wished me a happy birthday after that. i haven’t been worrying too much about him, I’m open to the possibility of getting him back but I’m not doing anything to do so. However, recently I’ve been wanting to text him, I want to know how he is doing, it’s been so long since we’ve talked, and I’ve even considered trying to be his friend. I’m scared to do that though, because he might not respond. Is it a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

you wont know if you don’t try..

Lala
Guest

Preliminary details:

Dated for nearly 4 years
He broke up with me because I was too needy
Made it through 50 days Nc
It’s been 4 months since the breakup and we’ve talked 5 or so short text conversations and 1 in-person meet up to exchange an item. All of it was initiated by me and he responded nicely.

So should I just keep initiating? I feel like he’s just being friendly back. What if he asks me why I keep starting up conversation? Should I text each day or wait a few days? Can I ask him out to lunch soon?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

how long have you been trying to build rapport and were you the one ending the conversations at high point? are you still actively improving yourself and in posting?

Rachel
Guest

I’ve been trying for the past 3 weeks or so but only intimated conversation 3-4 times. Should I text him each day to get the ball rolling? He ended some and I ended some but I’ll start ending all of them if possible. And yes, I am.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

5 or less messages for 3 weeks, isn’t going to build rapport but it’s good that you tried. So, for now, rest for 5 days and aside from the advice above, check the link below, so you know which style of texting you want to follow and keep ending the conversation at high point, keep improving and keep being active in posting:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Lala
Guest

Preliminary details:

Dated for nearly 4 years
He broke up with me because I was too needy
Made it through 50 days Nc
It’s been 4 months since the breakup and we’ve talked 5 or so short text conversations and 1 in-person meet up to exchange an item. All of it was initiated by me and he responded nicely.

So should I just keep initiating? I feel like he’s just being friendly back. What if he asks me why I keep starting up conversation? Should I text each day or wait a few days? Can I ask him out to lunch soon?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

how long have you been trying to build rapport and were you the one ending the conversations at high point? are you still actively improving yourself and in posting?

Rachel
Guest

I’ve been trying for the past 3 weeks or so but only intimated conversation 3-4 times. Should I text him each day to get the ball rolling? He ended some and I ended some but I’ll start ending all of them if possible. And yes, I am.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

5 or less messages for 3 weeks, isn’t going to build rapport but it’s good that you tried. So, for now, rest for 5 days and aside from the advice above, check the link below, so you know which style of texting you want to follow and keep ending the conversation at high point, keep improving and keep being active in posting:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Jack
Guest

I started texting my ex after no contact. She was pretty receptive, positive and enthusiastic but didn’t ask me any questions. Her last response was hours later saying she had work. I waited a full day to reply and now she hasn’t said a word. What do I do? She seemed to be showing interest beforehand. When do I send a second text if at all? We have texts that usually are 2 paragraphs each. I was paralleling her length in response.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

if you mean that was your first day of texting, that’s normal because there’s no rapport.. Think of her as a stranger that you like but doesn’t have interest in you.. would you expect her to be enthusiastic in texting you the first day? No, right? The goal is to get her interested in you.. how much value do you put in the table? how much did you improve? were you active in posting during and now after nc? are your topics interesting? did you end the conversation at high point?

Jack
Guest

I started texting my ex after no contact. She was pretty receptive, positive and enthusiastic but didn’t ask me any questions. Her last response was hours later saying she had work. I waited a full day to reply and now she hasn’t said a word. What do I do? She seemed to be showing interest beforehand. When do I send a second text if at all? We have texts that usually are 2 paragraphs each. I was paralleling her length in response.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

if you mean that was your first day of texting, that’s normal because there’s no rapport.. Think of her as a stranger that you like but doesn’t have interest in you.. would you expect her to be enthusiastic in texting you the first day? No, right? The goal is to get her interested in you.. how much value do you put in the table? how much did you improve? were you active in posting during and now after nc? are your topics interesting? did you end the conversation at high point?

Lily
Guest
Almost five months after the break up, my ex and I were in kinda friendly terms. He texted each other once a week but with funny stuff or news about common interests. I was trying to gain him back, getting him closer. But…now he has a new crush. This is very recent, this happen these days and obviously he didn’t told me but I can know it for social media and this kind of things. We live in different cities, but near, and he hated the distance. This girl lives in the other side of the country and well, she… Read more »
Lily
Guest
Please help me… He is getting more and more obsessed with this girl, even if she lives far, has a boyfriend and is very young (my ex likes girls older than him, so this is weird). I don’t know what to do, this hurts me because I feel that he is substituting me, and he is getting attached to he very very quick. They doesn’t know each other in person (this is online contact) and I think she is not really interested, but she likes having someone chasing her, because she seems happy again with boyfriend. My ex is..”bewitched” and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

how did you know that? have you been putting your energy on things you can control? Like your efforts, on what you think, you activities?

Lily
Guest
I know because of social media…they are very close and he is acting like bewitched, I can’t explain, but he is like obsessed… I was trying to build rapport with him but this has broken me… I didn’t text him and he didn’t text me since last Monday (this crush story started like last weekend, ten days ago). I know that I can’t control it but I need to figure out how to winhim back… Of course I am doing things with my life and keeping my interests, my friends…but it is being very very hard to focus, I miss… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
ok, let’s say what they post is true, so that means they’re in the honeymoon period.. but also, keep in mind, you dont post bad stuff. People post to maintain an image.. since you can only control yourself, sometimes it helps to think like a bitch.. they dont care if the guy has a gf, because they know what matters most is what the guy feels when he is with her, or talking to her and what the guy thinks when he sees her.. You dont have to be total bitch.. that’s not good of course. Just copy a little… Read more »
Lily
Guest
They are not together, at least they don’t know each other in person (and thats long distance, not like with me we live just an hour in train) and she is still with her boyfriend… I only know that they talk a lot and have some complicity, I feel substituted and it hurts. I feel invisible to him. He didn’t text me since ten days ago, I didn’t either because I am afraid that he may ignore me or something… I don’t know what to do for making him “see” me. If I could build rapport again… But he has… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

just keep doing your own thing.. if he really has walls, then if he realizes you haven’t chased and just kept moving on, he’ll probably lower his guard because he can see there’s no point in having it.

Lily
Guest

Thank you Amor, you’re right. I am trying to figure out how to get his attention again without being obvious and this is difficult. I texted him yesterday to wish him good luck for something and he texted me back in two minutes, very kind and he exchanged a few texts (I stopped when the conversation was dying, letting his text being the last one, it was something specific and I didn’t want to force the things). I guess that was a step but I am so scared of not getting him back that I can’t see it…

Lily
Guest
Almost five months after the break up, my ex and I were in kinda friendly terms. He texted each other once a week but with funny stuff or news about common interests. I was trying to gain him back, getting him closer. But…now he has a new crush. This is very recent, this happen these days and obviously he didn’t told me but I can know it for social media and this kind of things. We live in different cities, but near, and he hated the distance. This girl lives in the other side of the country and well, she… Read more »
Lily
Guest
Please help me… He is getting more and more obsessed with this girl, even if she lives far, has a boyfriend and is very young (my ex likes girls older than him, so this is weird). I don’t know what to do, this hurts me because I feel that he is substituting me, and he is getting attached to he very very quick. They doesn’t know each other in person (this is online contact) and I think she is not really interested, but she likes having someone chasing her, because she seems happy again with boyfriend. My ex is..”bewitched” and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

how did you know that? have you been putting your energy on things you can control? Like your efforts, on what you think, you activities?

Lily
Guest
I know because of social media…they are very close and he is acting like bewitched, I can’t explain, but he is like obsessed… I was trying to build rapport with him but this has broken me… I didn’t text him and he didn’t text me since last Monday (this crush story started like last weekend, ten days ago). I know that I can’t control it but I need to figure out how to winhim back… Of course I am doing things with my life and keeping my interests, my friends…but it is being very very hard to focus, I miss… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
ok, let’s say what they post is true, so that means they’re in the honeymoon period.. but also, keep in mind, you dont post bad stuff. People post to maintain an image.. since you can only control yourself, sometimes it helps to think like a bitch.. they dont care if the guy has a gf, because they know what matters most is what the guy feels when he is with her, or talking to her and what the guy thinks when he sees her.. You dont have to be total bitch.. that’s not good of course. Just copy a little… Read more »
Lily
Guest
They are not together, at least they don’t know each other in person (and thats long distance, not like with me we live just an hour in train) and she is still with her boyfriend… I only know that they talk a lot and have some complicity, I feel substituted and it hurts. I feel invisible to him. He didn’t text me since ten days ago, I didn’t either because I am afraid that he may ignore me or something… I don’t know what to do for making him “see” me. If I could build rapport again… But he has… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

just keep doing your own thing.. if he really has walls, then if he realizes you haven’t chased and just kept moving on, he’ll probably lower his guard because he can see there’s no point in having it.

Lily
Guest

Thank you Amor, you’re right. I am trying to figure out how to get his attention again without being obvious and this is difficult. I texted him yesterday to wish him good luck for something and he texted me back in two minutes, very kind and he exchanged a few texts (I stopped when the conversation was dying, letting his text being the last one, it was something specific and I didn’t want to force the things). I guess that was a step but I am so scared of not getting him back that I can’t see it…