This is the ultimate nightmare scenario for women who go through a breakup, being pregnant.

You see, when most women go through a breakup they go through the 5 emotional stages that accompany that breakup,

Stage 1- “How in the world did this happen?”

Stage 2- ” There is no way that this is happening to me..”

Stage 3- ” LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”

Stage 4- ” How am I going to get him back?”

Stage 5- ” Can I survive without him?”

The stages seen above are normal for 99% of the women visiting this site.

But what about that 1%?

You know, the 1% that are going through a breakup AND pregnant?

I am going to admit that these cases are very rare but they do exist. Whats worse is the fact that there isn’t really much good information out there on the internet teaching women what to do if they find themselves in these rare circumstances. I plan on changing that with this page.

For the first time on Ex Boyfriend Recovery I am going to be talking about how to approach getting an ex boyfriend back if you find yourself pregnant with his child.

First things first though, I need to make sure your priorities are right.

Your Unborn Child Vs. Your Ex Boyfriend

man vs toddler

Lets get something straight here, the most important thing in your life right now isn’t your ex boyfriend, it’s your child.

The second you found out that you were about to become a mother the game completely changed. You see, before you were pregnant your ex boyfriend was probably priority number one. You would have done anything for him.

How do I know that?

Well, you are pregnant with his child and you came to this page because despite him leaving you, at arguably the most important time of your life, you still want him back.

However, now that you are going to be a mother your boyfriend just became priority number two.

Yes, I know this is a page designed to help you get your ex boyfriend back (and don’t worry I am going to go above and beyond when it comes to that) but let me tell you something about “the love of your life.”

A real man wouldn’t have left you during this fragile time in your life. A real man would have stuck around for HIS child. A real man would have stepped up and found a way to take care of you AND his child. Unfortunately for you though, your ex boyfriend is not a real man.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you want him back. He is the father of your unborn child and you want your family to be complete. Besides, it just doesn’t seem complete without him in the picture, right?

I totally get that and I promise you that I am going to impart as much wisdom as I possibly can on you to make sure you can achieve that goal. However, I want to ask you a question first,

Is your ex boyfriend even worth the effort to try to get back?

I already know your answer is going to be a resounding YES. However, you are answering from a place of extreme grief (your ex just left you) and I probably have a much more logical view of the situation than you do.

I would say that there is a scenario I can see where he is worth the effort to get back.

What is that scenario?

Only if he can add substantial value to you and your child’s life.

Now, if I were to tell you to pick out the most important word in that phrase what do you think it would be?

If you guessed,


Then you would be right.

What do I mean when I say that in order for your ex to even be worth trying to get back he has to add substantial value to you and your child’s life?

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that your ex has a really secure well paying job, a stable house and you know for a fact that he has the ability to support you emotionally. Well, in this case that would mean your ex can bring a lot to the table and would probably be worth getting back.

Do you have a chance of getting him back?
Take Our Quiz

Wait… But Does Me Wanting An Ex Boyfriend Back Because Of His Job Make Me A Gold Digger?

If you wanted a man only because of his money then yes that does make you a gold digger.

However, it actually makes me angry when men throw around the gold digger accusation to women wanting money/help to support a child. The truth is that if a man gets a woman pregnant he has an obligation to step up and help.

Call me old fashioned but I believe that once you and another human being create a child together you can’t be selfish anymore. In fact, you have to become so selfless that you’d be willing to do anything to make sure that, that child can have a happy and healthy life.

Now, obviously you should want to get your ex boyfriend back for a lot more than just his financial obligation. He is the father or your child and without him your family is not complete. I know for a fact that you love him very much and I know that you feel he can be there for you emotionally.

However, the main point of me writing this section was this.

If it comes down to it, your child is going to take top priority over your ex.

Never forget that.

The “My Life Is Over” Mindset

life is over

In my experience there are two types of reactions men can have when they learn they are going to be a father for the first time.

  1. Some men will be extremely excited and dedicate the rest of their lives to making sure that they can do everything in their power to create a stable environment for their child.
  2. The other portion of men adopt the, “My life is completely over” mindset.

Unfortunately, since you are on this page it seems that your ex adopted the “my life is over” type of thinking.

So, what is this type of thinking and how does it apply to your relationship with your boyfriend?

I am glad you asked.

What Is The “My Life Is Over” Mindset?

There is an interesting story to how I came up with the idea of this mindset. Around three years ago a friend of mine had a pregnancy scare with his girlfriend. Now, at the time I was extremely close to this friend so I was the first person he called to vent to about the situation.

Him: “I don’t know what to do. She’s late and she’s never late.”

Me: “Give it some time. You told me there is still some time for her to have her period right?”

Him: “Ya… but what if she doesn’t? My life will be over. I can’t go out and have fun anymore…”

Thus, the “my life is over” mindset was born.

Some men are frightened to death of having a child because they know that the second that, that child comes into the world they can’t be that selfish anymore. They know that they are going to have to dedicate time and energy to the child and that threatens the freedom they have of running around and having fun.

Gone are the nights where they can stay out all night and get drunk with their friends.

Gone are the nights where they can jump from girl to girl having one night stand after one night stand (though some pathetic guys still do this.)

My point is simple, in these men’s minds the life that they have grown accustomed to living is over. Here is the most ironic part of the whole situation though. If your ex boyfriend has adopted this “my life is over” mindset he isn’t thinking too clearly.

The truth is that his life isn’t over it is just going to change.

The only constant in life is change and adding a baby into the mix whether he is with you or not is going to change his life. This is a fact that he will eventually accept but it just may take some time before he has this epiphany.

One of my favorite examples to cite when it comes to this mindset came from another friend of mine.

In fact, there is a really interesting story to this one as well.

A Real Life Case Study Of A Woman Who Got Her Ex Back While Pregnant

harry potter pregnant

(Yes, apparantely Harry Potter got pregnant… and I think Ron or Malfoy is the father…) ”

Believe it or not but the very first person who I helped get her ex boyfriend back was a woman who was pregnant.

The woman was actually a friend I had met in college. She ended up meeting a guy, falling in love and then he broke up with her which I am sure a lot of you can relate to.

The major twist here happened when she found out she was pregnant with his child literally a day after the breakup occurred. Of course, when she told her ex boyfriend that he was the father he adopted the, “my life is over,” mindset and ran off to try to preserve the life he had grown accustomed to.

My friend, the woman, was obviously devastated. The man who she fell in love with had rejected her, she had nowhere to go and on top of everything she was pregnant and broke.

Now, I don’t know about you but that is a really bad situation to be in.

Of course, when all of this happened the two of us hadn’t really talked in months. So, when I was goofing off on Facebook one day I was surprised to receive a personal message from her. We got to talking and she filled me in on everything that had been going on in her life.

She told me about how she fell in love, how he broke up with her, how she was now pregnant with his child and how she was still deeply in love with him.

The whole story made me feel bad to be honest and I kind of wanted to help her out.

So, at first I provided some support by listening to her situation and offering helpful tidbits of information here and there which she would sometimes take. However, eventually things had gotten so bad between her and her ex boyfriend that it didn’t seem like anything would work.

That’s when I decided I was going to do some research on how most people typically approach a situation where they are trying to get their ex boyfriends back. Through my research I learned a lot about male psychology, how to properly build attraction and the importance of timing.

However, I would have to say that the most useful piece of advice I learned was the no contact rule.

It was the first time I had ever heard of something where you essentially cut someone out for a certain period of time in order to make them realize how important they are to you. So, I suggested that my friend should try this on her ex. Of course, some modifications had to be made to a strict NC since she was pregnant and he had every right to know what was going on with his child.

So, the way she approached the situation was simple.

Any time where there was a checkup or any other important information regarding the baby she would be allowed to message or talk to him on the phone. Other than that however, she was strict about her NC and didn’t break it.

At first, it didn’t seem like it was working too well because she missed him more than she had ever missed anyone in her life before. However, slowly but surely the no contact rule began to work its magic as he started getting antsy and wondering why she wasn’t begging for him back anymore.

Perhaps I should hit the pause button and explain the timing of how this all went down.

My friend didn’t get into contact with me until she was already a month pregnant. Four months after she had got into contact with me I simply listened to her vent and provided the necessary,

“It’s going to be ok’s.”


“It’s all going to work out in the end’s.”

as I could to her.

Around the start of month six of her pregnancy I decided to suggest that she try out the no contact rule and she complied.

She did NC (in the way I described above) for about a month and a half before it fully worked and her ex wanted her back. Yes, about midway through month seven of her pregnancy her ex boyfriend accompanied her to a checkup for the baby and they got back together the very next day.

I guess the question you are wondering is why?

What was it that she did that made him want to get back with her?

Why He Went Back To Her

im back

I believe there are a number of reasons that he went back to her.

I already taught you about the “my life is over” mindset and her ex definitely had some of that. Rather than accepting that his life was about to change he decided to run away from this fact and try to preserve the lifestyle he was so used to living. Of course, seven months after my friend told him the big news that she was pregnant he had some time to let reality set in and he began to realize that running away from his unborn child is not the right way to do things.

I have always found it interesting that men who get this MLIO (my life is over) mindset tend to have their hearts in the right place.

Now, that doesn’t excuse them for their pathetic actions of bailing but on some subconscious level they know that the second that, that child enters the world they are going to have to step up and act like a man. They know that they can’t be selfish anymore but rather selfless.

The idea that their life is over stems from this fact.

Of course, some men don’t come to this realization right away and that is where the no contact rule comes in, especially in this case.

What were some of the rules that my friend implemented when she was pregnant when it came to the no contact rule?

Well, she obviously wouldn’t contact him. However, when she went in for a checkup she felt he was entitled to know what was going on with his child so she would break NC then. Of course, she was short with him in those instances and any time he would try to steer the conversation to a topic other than their child she simply wouldn’t respond.

This was a massive 180 from the beginning of their breakup when she practically begged for him back and who can blame her?

She just found out she was pregnant. She had never felt more alone in her life and she was in love with him.

Her ex was just like most men in that he loved admiration. Any time she would beg for him back or plead for him to reconsider he kind of liked it. It made him feel wanted. It made him feel like he was powerful since he had a girl wanting him on this deep level.

Of course, when you fast forward seven months later the dynamic had changed when she blocked him out.

For the longest time he was used to her begging, used to her trying to reason with him and then all of a sudden it all stopped. The begging stopped, the reconsideration requests stopped, it all just stopped. He no longer felt wanted. He no longer felt needed.

This singular act of the no contact rule served as a wake up call for him that made him realize what a mistake he had made in leaving her and his child in the first place.

The Game Plan For Getting An Ex Back While Pregnant

according to plan

We are going to take a page out of my friends book in how she got her ex back when we look at how to get yours back. Of course, it has been years since my friends situation unfolded and I am a bit more crafty now when it comes to exes so I have new insight and advice for you to implement on top of what she did.

Here’s a brief overview of what you should do,

  • Modified NC
  • Building Attraction
  • Inviting To Checkups0

As always, I am going to be covering each of these steps in-depth.

The No Contact Rule During Pregnancy


Breakups tend to put people in a place where they feel highly emotional. Of course, pregnancy seems to do that to women too. So, when you couple the two together you are probably going to experience emotional pain like no other. This emotional pain is going to make doing the no contact rule extremely challenging.


I would say that a good 80% of women who visit this site and attempt the no contact rule end up failing it. Well, those 80% of women aren’t pregnant. So, if they are having such a rough time with no contact how do you think you are going to fare when you add in things like pregnancy hormones?

What I am about to say now is probably the most important piece of information you will find on this page.

Under no circumstances can you stray from NC in this case.


Because NC on a man who has left you while you are pregnant seems to have an increased effect since he is going to assume that you are going to beg for him back.

Of course, we are going to have to modify the no contact rule a little bit since you are pregnant and your ex does have a right to know what is going on.

Modification 1- If He Asks Anything About The Baby

I am going to leave this one up to you.

If you are in the middle of the no contact rule and he asks you something about the baby you are allowed to respond and talk to him about his inquiry. Of course, I do want to point out that if he shifts the focus to anything other than your child you are not to respond to him.

If I was in your position though the only time I would talk to him about the baby is if I were to volunteer the information myself.

Look, the thing to remember here is that these rules only apply for the time during the NC rule. After the NC rule you can go back to normal.

Modification 2- Volunteering Information On Checkups

As I am sure you have noticed one of the major sections on this page has to do with how to handle the checkups you get when you are pregnant. Well, during the NC rule you aren’t supposed to invite him to the checkups. Rather you are supposed to go to the checkup yourself and then volunteer the information to him after the fact.


Because this paints you in an independent light and should make him realize what he is missing out on.

Will it make him angry?


But you know what?

He has no right to be angry when he is the one who left. This is what he misses out on when he leaves so make sure you make him realize that.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Building Attraction After The No Contact Rule

After the no contact rule is up then that’s when you should start building some attraction in your ex boyfriend.

What is the best way to do this?

The truth is that it’s a little too long to go into here. So, what I have done is compiled a list of the best guides I have written on Ex Boyfriend Recovery for building attraction. Check them out below,

  • Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO– My E-Book that covers exactly what to do, what to say and how to act in order to get your ex boyfriend back in pretty much any situation you can think of.
  • How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back– The very first guide I ever wrote for this site that talks a lot about rebuilding attraction in your ex boyfriend.
  • How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Love You Again– An excellent guide that focuses ONLY on how to build attraction in your ex boyfriend.
  • Get An Ex To Chase You– Another excellent guide that focuses on what you need to do if you want a man to chase after you (which can be helpful in your case.)

I know me linking to those pages is kind of weak and you probably want me to write something long and in-depth on how to build attraction in your ex but the truth is that those pages are excellent at teaching you how to do it. Besides, we have another very important issue to cover, how to handle checkups.

The Invitation To Pregnancy Checkups


One of the smartest things that I feel my friend did when she was trying to get her ex boyfriend back was the fact that she would invite him to her checkups.

I actually remember she would tell me how excited she was to see him during these checkups. She even compared it to a date once.

Now, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but one of the biggest advantages to being pregnant and trying to get your ex boyfriend back is that you can use these checkups as a way to get him on your own version of a mini date. I know that sounds a little weird but hear me out.

When you go on a date with someone the main objective is to get that person to feel a connection with you. Generally speaking if you don’t feel a connection with that person you aren’t going to go on another date with that person. Now, let me ask you something.

What can make two human beings more connected than going to checkup and checking on a baby that is essentially made from them?

I dare you to find an activity that can match the level of connection that something like that can.

What you want to be doing is using these checkups as a way to slowly advance things and take advantage of your opportunities.

A Final Word

I don’t want to end on a bummer but I feel this is important to mention.

It’s not out of the realm of possibility that even if you do everything right, if you hit all the right emotional buttons within your ex you still may not get him back. This is another human being we are talking about here and as much as you may wish you had the ability to mind control him you can’t.

I don’t want this to discourage you and let you think that your dating life is over forever, it’s not.

The truth of the matter is that a man who leaves you during a time when you are pregnant is pathetic. No excuse can be made for that.

I know it sounds cliche but there are men out there who would be more than happy to have a beautiful woman with a child. So, if your ex can’t see you for the incredible person that you are then you can find a man who knows your value and who will treat you right.

293 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant”

  1. Catherine

    September 17, 2018 at 10:18 am

    So. Me and my (now ex) partner have been together for 3 years. He had told me in the past that he doesn’t not want anymore children (there is a 21 year age gap and he already has two grown children) but now I am 7 weeks pregnant. I discovered I was pregnant on the Friday and told him on the Sunday evening. However as soon as I told him he was 100% against having the baby. We spent a few hours apart so we could both digest what had happened. When I returned he told me that the relationship was over as he didn’t want to be a dad again. Things got quite heated and some awful things were said from both parties so I packed a bag and left for my parents house. A few hours later I received a text from him to say that he doesn’t know how we got to this point or how things got so bad and he just wanted to me to know how much he loves me but that was it. Not apology or come home or I don’t want to break up. Do you think there is any chance of us sorting things out? We have had no contact since.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 9:22 pm

      Hi Catherine!

      I know all of this is hard to process and he definitely handled it very poorly and selfishly on his end. I think you continue with NC and reach out to your support system of family and friends. What is important going forward is your emotional and physical health. I wrote a 247 page ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book” that deals with this entire Principle and also gets deeply into the recovery activities you can embrace.

  2. Des

    September 3, 2018 at 9:48 pm

    So my person and I broke up on the 10th of Aug. I’ve known him since I was 15. I’m now 22 and 7 months pregnant. I really Miss him so much. On the 14 he apologize to me. Then on the 25 he ask if I loved him anymore because it doesnt seem like it when we text. I told him I still love him and miss my bestfriend. He said he miss his best friend too. So then on the 28th I was rereading our messages and on the app we use I pressed one of the suggestion text by mistake and it said “okay baby” at like 3am so at 6 am he text and asked was i talking to someone else and I told him no I’m 7 months pregnant with his Child why would I talk to someone else. So I asked him does he love me anymore he said “I do love you never stop” and we kept texting but he was at work and had to do a round and he will text me later I said “okay Old man” I use too call him that since we started dating. He sent the heart eyes emoji. How happy I was lol. He did text me later saying “I still do love you punk just to let you know but ttyl” but i took a little to reply and he said “I guess you don’t it’s ok punk” but i told him ” I love you too dont think I dont.  Then on the 30th we was texting and I told him I seen one of my old friends that was there when we first meet when I was 15 so he ask whos car was I driving I told him my step dads. He was like see you dont need me and ect. But I told him I had to baby sit my little sis and asked why he said that . anyways make a long story short I told him he was Important to me and he said I was important to him too. So need help because I want my boy friend back

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 4, 2018 at 9:35 pm

      Probably best you take a look at my home page and review some of the tools and resources I have. Helpful to have an ex recovery plan.

  3. Kelsie

    September 3, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    Please help. Last April, I met this guy. He’s pretty great, we immediately hit it off. We just bond and connect on every level, its amazing. We start hanging out…always late (I know) this goes on for a year. He knows my 3 year old son, they adore each other, things with us are pretty great, we never even so much as disagreed but the one problem that is rarely brought up, no one knows I exist. He’s Muslim, I’m not. He always said that he loved me and wanted to be with me he just needed the time to be right to break it to his family. And he seemed so sincere yet it didn’t happen until this August when I was already 4 months pregnant. When he found out he was scared but was still really great and supportive, always checked on me and made sure I was ok then we went for the gender ultrasound and found out we were having a baby girl and he was even more happy. So happy he decided to tell his family. (Also let me add I do know how family well, I worked for them they just didn’t know we had anything going on.) So he tells his parents and 2 younger siblings and they take it pretty well. He says he’s so relieved to finally get it off of his chest and seems happy in every other aspect. The next day his older brother finds out. He’s furious. I dont know what he says to him but he messages me some really nasty things and says I ruined his brother’s life and he’s so miserable because of me. So naturally I text my guy asking what’s going on. He says what his brother says isn’t true BUT we need to talk. He’s not in love with me and leaves me. Through a text message. Ok. We have minimal contact for a few days, every time we talk, text, I’m crying, hurt. I can’t hide it if I wanted to so I suggest that maybe we only talk about the baby and he says he wants to be here for me too. Ok. He still talks to me, comes over, is supportive and the kind loving man that I’ve known…but he says he doesn’t think he knows what love really is, he’s never been in another relationship and is nervous about the baby and the thought of “forever”
    But he’s very happy about the baby. The other night he comes over and it was almost like things were back to normal if not better than before and hes been thinking a lot about living together and being together…meanwhile the older brother is texting and asking where he is. He tells him, then he tells him he needs to leave my house and is coming to get him. My guy says no and stays quite a bit longer. The next day I sense his texts are different but I can’t place what it is and the day after the same thing. The day after is my birthday and he had promised he would come over and I was really looking forward to spending time with him. It was getting late so I asked if he was coming and he said no. I was upset. I told him. And surprise! He’s not in love with me and isn’t coming. He now hasn’t responded to anything I’ve said and I’ve tried to cut contact with him but it’s hard. I’m so confused and hurt.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 3, 2018 at 7:49 pm

      Hi Kelsie!

      You ex seems to have a selfish approach to things right now. You certainly deserve to be treated far better. I think a healthy use of the no contact rule would benefit you. Pick up my program materials so you know how to properly implement it. Give yourself some time to heal and him time to realize how foolish he has been. All the lessons and tactics on what you should do to better your chances of getting him back (if you want him back) is covered in my 485 page book.

  4. Isabel

    August 4, 2018 at 5:56 pm

    Hi I’m 19, almost 3 months pregnant I left my ex because he hit me and it’s going to be 3 weeks and he already has a girlfriend we don’t talk unless it’s about the baby is there any chance that we’d ever get back together or is it done for good? The reason we broke up was because he hit me obviously and things werent all that great with us we would argue all the time

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 2:08 am

      Hi Isabel….your focus should be on “you” and your baby to come. Abuse is a serious matter and you should avoid any environment that is not safe for you.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 2:08 am

      Hi Isabel….your focus should be on “you” and your baby to come. Abuse is a serious matter and you should avoid any environment that is not safe for you.

  5. Des

    May 5, 2018 at 5:44 pm

    So my person and i broke up on the 18 of April. He took my virginity when i was 15 and we grew apart. Started dating again in 2015 and then October of 2016 found out he cheated and got someone else pregnant. Btw Im 22 now he’s 24. Will be 25 a few days after my due date the 22 of Nov. When he found out I was pregnant he was so happy i know his whole family and they love me. They want to throw my baby shower and all. But my first ultra sound was the 16th of April and we planned on going he was taking me but then he said his mom had an housing appointment at the same time as my appointment. I will not lie I was pissed. And let him know it hurt my feelings Its a big moment. Any ways he got put out the next day and i was still mad and was not being his loveing supportive girl he needed at that time. So on the 18 i tryed to apologize to him but he didnt want to hear it and just told me to contact him about the baby. And it hurt me more so i told him there would no baby for him to worry about and that i was going to plan parenthood. The same day EMS came and took me to the ER due to my hurting and me falling out. I love him so much always have but now so much more I want him around so bad he use to hold my belly while i slept and talked to my belly I was so happy I have genetics testing on the 14th of may I told him he said okay so i hope he shows up but its and hour in between so OB at 11 then the genetics at 1:15 idk what we can do in that hour time help

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:17 pm

      Hi Des…your health and the baby’s health is top priority and I know you and your partner will team up to make that your joint priority. It sounds like anger got in between the two of you for a spell, but you both can rise above all that as you embrace the future. Find balance in your emotions as this period you are in certainly can be stressful, but it can be a most beautiful time as well with balance.

    2. Des

      May 5, 2018 at 11:25 pm

      He also did atmet he was scared at 1 point

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:54 pm

      That’s good. That means he is make an effort to confront some of his fears. Once you speak them, they are not so scary.

    4. Des

      May 5, 2018 at 11:23 pm

      Do I apply the no contact rule. I really want my family so bad. And that hour in between what do i do

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:53 pm

      I don’t think No contact is the right recipe for this situation. Just go slow with the communications so neither of your stumble and get each other upset again. There is a lot going on in your life…bring a child into the world is a sobering responsibility. So it can take time for some guys to process all this and when emotions are flying around, it makes it more difficult. The hour in between will be just fine. Talk about what it feels like to have life inside you.

  6. Courtney

    April 23, 2018 at 1:09 pm


    I have an interesting situation. I am 19 weeks pregnant and will be a first time single mom. I met the dad a month before getting pregnant (unplanned) thru a mutual friend and we were friends with benefits at the time. When I told him I was pregnant he was really scared…he’s 23 and I’m 27. Then he found out about someone else I was messing around with (before I knew I was pregnant) and he got jealous (said “but you’re my only special friend”) and told me he just wanted to be friends. It’s been 3 months since then and we meet up 1-2 times per month to update and catch up. A couple weeks ago I made the mistake of going to his place after catching up and he made a move. I pulled away at least 5 times, asking him what he was doing. His response was “sorry I’m being a guy”. I caved, cuz I’m horny af in my second trimester and now idk how I feel about that decision. We used to hang out and communicate so much more before he found out I was pregnant, like daily talking and seeing each other every week. Now it’s so much less and he bails on me all the time. It’s really starting to piss me off. He also hasn’t told any friends or family about the pregnancy. I’m scared he is going to be like this when the baby arrives and I need support. I don’t want my baby to be disappointed by his dad. I also don’t know what to expect for my relationship with the dad…should we continue trying to be friends? He’s made it clear he doesn’t want to be in a relationship (I can’t see us together either). But with all these hormones, I’m feeling like I might get attached or develop feelings. He is coming to my 20 week ultrasound this week (he asked about it), and I’m scared it might lead to ya hooking up again…Please help!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2018 at 9:07 pm

      Hi Courtney….first of all, congratulations. I think there are some positive here. Maybe the whole thing is a bit confusing and overwhelming to him. So perhaps we give him the benefit of the doubt. He seems to show efforts of being engaged and accepting responsibility. Honestly, neither of us really know if he will be there for you over the long run. Relationships can be hard enough, even without breakups and children coming into the picture. I think your primary focus should be on your own self healing and your physical healthy and the health of your child. Hormones are just a natural product of the cycle our bodies experience for any number of causes. I know feelings can get mixed up when we are having a “friends with benefits” situation. You both have your needs…physical and emotional. So its your call on what you want to do on the sexual side of things. The future is always moving. Sometimes it takes us to places we don’t anticipate. Maybe over time, he will have a change of heart. Or perhaps you will decide that you do not want to have any sexual interaction with him as it creates emotional difficulties. I don’t know. But its seems that the two of you will be connected in life in the future given he will be the father of your child so the pragmatic thing to do is seek to maintain a functional relationship. It does not have to involve sex if you don’t want it to. Over time, you will know what is best for you, and this what matters most.

  7. Aura

    April 16, 2018 at 3:44 pm

    Hey this is Aura me and my ex broke up yesterday, well things haven’t been going good in our relationship because of his trust issues after he found out that I cheated on him last year.. we been together for three years btw and were planning on our future anyway we had our biggest breakup yesterday whereby he literally said he was done and wants nothing to do with me and I told him that I don’t want us to separate because I am a week pregnant with his child but it didn’t seem to bother him he said he’ll just pay maintenance for the baby well the point is I don’t want him to be there financially I want my child to grow up with both her parents because I didn’t have that opportunity and I know how much it hurts.. but he seems so serious about this breakup. I haven’t spoken to him since yesterday I though perhaps I should not contact him for two weeks then go give him the results and sonars since he thinks perhaps I’m making up this pregnancy to get him back but no I’m actually pregnant

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 2:59 am

      Hi Aura. 3 years is a a good amount of time, as that builds traction. I think he is rolling thru some emotions and trying to figure things out. I agree No Contact would be useful to you and during that time, focus on YOU. This period should probably be more than 2 weeks. I think you should check out my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”or “The No Contact Rulebook”. Both of those are massive guide books that can give you some insights into how to proceed. You can learn more by going to my website’s Menu/Products link. It has much more advice there than I can offer in this setting. It helps to have a blueprint on how to proceed.

  8. Chrissy

    April 14, 2018 at 12:37 am

    I have a long story. My ex and I were together for 22 months before breaking up. We were living together for 8 months. He has a 6 year old son from a previous marriage. I was 9 weeks pregnant when we broke up and we planned the pregnancy. His son has behavioral problems and his behaviors had gotten worse and worse as time went on. We had just started taking him to counseling (because I set it up) and the counselor stated that she thought he needed an inpatient evaluation to determine what is fully going on with him. She suggested that this take place if he has another incident of being aggressive towards himself and others. That same day that she told us this, his son (who was completely aware that I was pregnant with his sibling) attempted to attack my stomach where he knew the baby was to get back at me for taking a treat away from him that he got by lying to his father. I freaked out and said that we needed to follow the counselor’s advice and get him immediate intensive treatment. When it came time for the appointment with a crisis team almost 2 days later my ex told me that he was going to make sure that anyone was aware that he never saw his son attack me but only saw me attack his son (I pushed him down before he could make contact with my stomach). He told me that he was going to deal with the problem and that I had no say in anything. It was a very high stress situation and I guess that I was the one to break up with him. He packed a bag and moved him and his son out. Meanwhile I was also dealing with my mother needing to get major surgery to remove cancer the next week. I ended up moving out about a month after the incident happened. We never even really got a chance to talk about everything that happened when things calmed down. About a month and a half later I attempted to get my ex to speak to me about everything that happened (I was feeling like maybe if we could both understand where the other was coming from that we could attempt to fix things and get our family back together). But I was also still angry and hurt by what had happened and he kept saying that we can focus on the baby and that’s it. So of course I continued to try to get him to talk about us. And he would agree to talk and then blow me off. I invited him to two ultrasounds. The first one he never called or showed and then used his son as an excuse. The second one he texted and said he couldn’t come because of his son again. I have been no contact now for 3 weeks. I think that I just want to have some sort of civil but open relationship with him for the sake of our child that will be here in just over 4 months. The relationship was broken. It really was. He abuses alcohol and marijuana and it was a constant reason for our fighting. And because of his substance use he would also hide things and lie to me about going to the bar or obtaining the marijuana. So I know that I shouldn’t want him back but there is a small part of me that wants him to realize all of his mistakes, want to sober up for his family and want to try to fix things with us. What do you guys think?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 14, 2018 at 3:07 am

      Hi Chrissy…clearly a lot of things are going in your life. The tug or pull of an ex can be strong. It can sometimes even override the rationale, logical side of your mind. I think that is the part you should listen to more. Focus on your needs and the baby to come. Staying and being healthy physically and emotionally is important, particularly now. The good side of you want everything to be civil and that is a good goal to have, but don’t allow it to overshadow what you already know about your ex…his faults and the seemingly unhealthy environment that exists with him.

    2. Chrissy

      April 14, 2018 at 12:52 pm

      Thanks Chris. It definitely hasn’t been easy. But I know that you’re right and I need to focus on myself and my baby.

  9. Dineo

    March 4, 2018 at 11:53 pm

    He broke up with me the day I found out and told him I was pregnant. He pretty much said he wants no contact until baby is born. I haven’t contacted him since then ( I was 7 weeks pregnant and I am now 8 months). He has 2 other children that I helped raised for 5 years and he doesn’t want my child and this NC rule doesn’t seem to be working because he has been quite since that day!

    Should I contact him after the baby is born? Or should I just give up? He left me broke, no place to stay, no food to eat – I remember being hungry crying for help and he simply ignored me. I’m OK now – God has been great but I’m still not sure if I should ever contact him again.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2018 at 10:48 am

      Hi Dineo,
      Actually that’s not an nc rule because he’s the one who asked you not to contact him and basically he ghosted you.. Do the diligence of letting him know about the baby’s arrival and the chance to be a father if he wants but move on from him..

  10. Sarah

    February 23, 2018 at 10:01 pm

    Hi my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago and said we will never ever get back together and its been almost two weeks now and I just found out I’m pregnant! What do I do? Should I tell him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 10:37 am

      Hi Sarah,

      Yes, tell him..

  11. Bella

    February 11, 2018 at 7:56 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me last week because he said his business needs to come first at the moment and he doesnt have the time to spend with me that I deserve. So I am 1 week into no contact but I’ve just found out I’m pregnant I’m so upset because I cannot keep it for medical reasons. Do I break the no contact to tell my ex or as I’m not keeping it keep silent about it x

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2018 at 1:05 pm

      Hi Bella,

      Yep, you should contact him.

  12. Ashley

    January 23, 2018 at 7:02 am

    Hi i am 7 months pregnant and my ex of 3 years up and left for a younger girl…he was so involved in both me and the baby and wanted everything with us and now i cant understand why he would all of a sudden choose a much younger girl. How do i go about getting him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2018 at 12:17 pm

      Hi Ashley,

      You can still try the advice above even if he’s with the other girl..

  13. Bella Rose

    January 18, 2018 at 11:43 am

    Hey , Im 20 years old & I’m 26 weeks pregnant. It’s been exactly one month since I broke up with my boyfriend due to him consistently partying. I didn’t think he’d let me break up with him , I thought it would be an eye opener. I begged him back for a month straight, but he’s ” comfortable ” where he is at now because he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants without being ” pressed ” or have any drama. He said he will be there for the baby but honestly I want us together too of course. I started the NC , it’s only been 2 days but I need some advice and a little confident boost in knowing if you think we’d be work out. I know I should’ve never broke up with him. It was stupid. Also I know he’s talking to other girls & might even be having sex with them. PLEASE HELP

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 20, 2018 at 1:37 am

      Hi Bella,

      It wasn’t stupid because even if you didn’t break up with him, it wouldn’t change his partying ways. The only thing you did wrong is you begged because breaking up was actually showing you have standards and that you value yourself and your baby. If he’s not going to change do you still want him back? If yes, just try the advice above and keep in mind, that the advice above is not for him to change, it’s just to help increase your chances of getting back together.

  14. Sam

    January 4, 2018 at 5:10 pm

    Help!!! My bf is in the army and we have been together for 17 months. I was 27 weeks pregnant and he came home for leave. I was weeks away from getting married and moving with him and he came home and broke up with me on day 3… of 14. He told me he needed space. I was so confused I cried and had a fit. I literally did not see it coming. A few days later he told me he hasn’t changed his mind… I contacted him Christmas Eve and it was the same story… 4 days later I asked if I could talk and he let me come over. He seemed so mad at the world and was blaming everything on me and said he didn’t know what he wanted which later turned into he would NEVER be with me again… I ignored him for 4 days and didn’t hear a word out of him, finally I asked if he had made it back to base. He answered me a couple of times and started to ignore me. I didn’t keep trying after that, I let it go. We have only been broken up for 16 days. We have had a couple of fights which have just made him mad but what am I supposed to do? This baby was planned and now he’s leaving me. I’m trying to ignore him but I’m now29 weeks pregnant! I was supposed to leave and marry him! He’s already been trying to talk to other women. I’m so lost. Please help me!!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 6, 2018 at 12:03 am

      Hi Sam, .

      Try the advice above and check this one too:
      Getting An Army, Military Or Navy Ex Boyfriend Back

  15. Clara

    December 24, 2017 at 4:23 pm

    Hi, I’m 20 years old and 10 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago saying that it was what he “needed to do.” Although he says he loves me very much and his friends said he’s not himself. I’ve been implementing the no contact rule and we haven’t spoken much at all since the break up. I think that he is scared and angry because I didn’t get an abortion like he wanted. I know we care about each other very much so I’m not convinced this break up is what he wants. Do you think this is his panicked reaction? Maybe a way of him trying to gain control in a situation he felt powerless in. I don’t want to hope in case he doesn’t come back, but is it possible that upon reflection he might? Just feeling a bit hopeless.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 26, 2017 at 7:57 pm

      Hi Clara,

      Yeah, he’s probably scared because he’s not ready for the responsibility..

  16. JJ

    December 21, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    Oh, I wasn’t considering blocking him, just didn’t want him to think I did because I think that’d make things worse.

    How long exactly is the no contact period and what’s something that’s worth considering ending it early?

    We were discussing therapy and I guess it’s worth mentioning that I have a bit of a hybrid situation. He has cheated before, I haven’t (yet he thinks I have), and I’m currently 11 weeks pregnant. We talked about reconciliation, but a good conversation on the phone turned sour and I later found this site. I’ve been giving NC a try for going on 2 weeks now, but all this week he’s text me at the beginning and end of the day variations of “Good morning” & “good night”. I haven’t responded since he hasn’t asked anything about the baby, but just curious as to how long I’m not supposed to respond?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 25, 2017 at 6:43 pm

      if he asks for you back you can break it, and you can talk to him only about the baby only.. that means not replying to his goodmorning and goodnight texts if he’s not asking about the baby.

  17. JJ

    December 19, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    During the no contact period and if your ex texts you, should you turn your read receipts off?
    I keep mine on so people know not to freak out if I don’t reply (if it doesn’t say “read at xyz time” that means I haven’t seen it). My ex text me this morning after a week “Good morning”. I can see that it says good morning, but if I open it and don’t reply he’ll know I saw it bc it’ll show the time I opened it. Just curious if I should take them off or leave them as is and open the texts? Also concerned that if it only says “Delivered” and I don’t answer when he calls (I’m sure he’ll call later if I don’t reply-which I won’t-) he’ll think I blocked him. When you block people it doesn’t notify them. The line will keep ringing and your texts will say delivered on the blocked person’s end so they won’t know the difference.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2017 at 9:09 pm

      Hi JJ,

      you don’t have to block him.. you don’t have to read the messages too.. your posts in social media, will show you’re ok.. do posts that don’t disappear after 24 hours.

  18. Alex

    December 18, 2017 at 4:29 am

    Hi, I have been doing a lot of readings here including the comments and replies and the actual content written. My ex boyfriend is 35 no kids or wife and I I am 26. We broke up couple months ago it wasn’t a pretty break up but it wasn’t a nasty one either but have spoken on and off and seen him couple times (which I now wish I haven’t). I recently found out I was pregnant but wasn’t sure if I should tell him as I have not been in contact with him in any shape or form for 2+weeks but I did and his first response was it’s not possible as according to him the timeline didn’t match second is it mine third what u gonna do about it coz I need to be prepare for what you will come at me for later and messing everything up for me using this. Then we ended the call with him suggesting me to abort it. I later texted him asking if he can and will talk and have a conversation without being so hostile. He replied there is nothing to talk about beside he is really busy and unavailable until further notice and that we can’t and won’t be together.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2017 at 7:16 pm

      HI Alex,

      are you keeping your baby if you don’t get him back? Because that’s the first priority for now..

  19. Nam

    November 20, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    Me and my boyfriend broke up about a month already. At the beginning, he told me that we will meet again. After that we got in problem of miscommunication . 3rd and 4th person try to get involved. That’s make him stop and blocks me everywhere. He closes his account. This is a third week that I haven’t communicate with him. I found out that i’m pregnant. I called him from another number and left voicemail. He has right to know what is going on with me and his unborn baby. I’m going to leave him a letter with the paper test result to confirm about pregnancy. Anything else should I do, please advice me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 22, 2017 at 2:51 am

      Hi Nam,

      Get a personal therapist, because it’s going to be emotional hard in the coming weeks..and it would be best for you and the baby to have professional help

  20. Velka

    November 10, 2017 at 2:38 am

    But how about when my ex has a new girlfriend and found out she’s pregnant, too? I’m just a month ahead. We broke up and when I moved to city he’s in, we met and thought we were back together. Little did I know that he has a new girlfriend and was out of town. When I found out I was pregnant, I told him and hoped that we would get back together. He told me he has a new girlfriend and got her knocked up, too, but he doesn’t want his new girl to find out about mine. Though he assured me that he will cover all expenses for the both of us, the problem is, I’m still in love with him. If I do the NC, he still has someone else. I don’t think he loves her that much because he wouldn’t cheat on her for me. The way we treat each other is the same way when we were together, like nothing has changed. He just didn’t want to let his girl know because she has suicidal tendencies and doesn’t want to stress her out. I don’t know why but I’m taking this whole situation well and wanted to help him also. I don’t want to him to choose between me or her. What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 12, 2017 at 11:58 pm

      Hi Velka,

      You have to remind yourself what you standards are and how much you really value yourself because what we allow, we get. It will really be hard to move on and just co-parent, but it doesn’t mean staying in that situation of hoping he will choose you is easier.

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