This is the ultimate nightmare scenario for women who go through a breakup, being pregnant.

You see, when most women go through a breakup they go through the 5 emotional stages that accompany that breakup,

Stage 1- “How in the world did this happen?”

Stage 2- ” There is no way that this is happening to me..”

Stage 3- ” LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”

Stage 4- ” How am I going to get him back?”

Stage 5- ” Can I survive without him?”

The stages seen above are normal for 99% of the women visiting this site.

But what about that 1%?

You know, the 1% that are going through a breakup AND pregnant?

I am going to admit that these cases are very rare but they do exist. Whats worse is the fact that there isn’t really much good information out there on the internet teaching women what to do if they find themselves in these rare circumstances. I plan on changing that with this page.

For the first time on Ex Boyfriend Recovery I am going to be talking about how to approach getting an ex boyfriend back if you find yourself pregnant with his child.

First things first though, I need to make sure your priorities are right.

Your Unborn Child Vs. Your Ex Boyfriend

man vs toddler

Lets get something straight here, the most important thing in your life right now isn’t your ex boyfriend, it’s your child.

The second you found out that you were about to become a mother the game completely changed. You see, before you were pregnant your ex boyfriend was probably priority number one. You would have done anything for him.

How do I know that?

Well, you are pregnant with his child and you came to this page because despite him leaving you, at arguably the most important time of your life, you still want him back.

However, now that you are going to be a mother your boyfriend just became priority number two.

Yes, I know this is a page designed to help you get your ex boyfriend back (and don’t worry I am going to go above and beyond when it comes to that) but let me tell you something about “the love of your life.”

A real man wouldn’t have left you during this fragile time in your life. A real man would have stuck around for HIS child. A real man would have stepped up and found a way to take care of you AND his child. Unfortunately for you though, your ex boyfriend is not a real man.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you want him back. He is the father of your unborn child and you want your family to be complete. Besides, it just doesn’t seem complete without him in the picture, right?

I totally get that and I promise you that I am going to impart as much wisdom as I possibly can on you to make sure you can achieve that goal. However, I want to ask you a question first,

Is your ex boyfriend even worth the effort to try to get back?

I already know your answer is going to be a resounding YES. However, you are answering from a place of extreme grief (your ex just left you) and I probably have a much more logical view of the situation than you do.

I would say that there is a scenario I can see where he is worth the effort to get back.

What is that scenario?

Only if he can add substantial value to you and your child’s life.

Now, if I were to tell you to pick out the most important word in that phrase what do you think it would be?

If you guessed,

SUBSTANTIAL

Then you would be right.

What do I mean when I say that in order for your ex to even be worth trying to get back he has to add substantial value to you and your child’s life?

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that your ex has a really secure well paying job, a stable house and you know for a fact that he has the ability to support you emotionally. Well, in this case that would mean your ex can bring a lot to the table and would probably be worth getting back.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Wait… But Does Me Wanting An Ex Boyfriend Back Because Of His Job Make Me A Gold Digger?

If you wanted a man only because of his money then yes that does make you a gold digger.

However, it actually makes me angry when men throw around the gold digger accusation to women wanting money/help to support a child. The truth is that if a man gets a woman pregnant he has an obligation to step up and help.

Call me old fashioned but I believe that once you and another human being create a child together you can’t be selfish anymore. In fact, you have to become so selfless that you’d be willing to do anything to make sure that, that child can have a happy and healthy life.

Now, obviously you should want to get your ex boyfriend back for a lot more than just his financial obligation. He is the father or your child and without him your family is not complete. I know for a fact that you love him very much and I know that you feel he can be there for you emotionally.

However, the main point of me writing this section was this.

If it comes down to it, your child is going to take top priority over your ex.

Never forget that.

The “My Life Is Over” Mindset

life is over

In my experience there are two types of reactions men can have when they learn they are going to be a father for the first time.

  1. Some men will be extremely excited and dedicate the rest of their lives to making sure that they can do everything in their power to create a stable environment for their child.
  2. The other portion of men adopt the, “My life is completely over” mindset.

Unfortunately, since you are on this page it seems that your ex adopted the “my life is over” type of thinking.

So, what is this type of thinking and how does it apply to your relationship with your boyfriend?

I am glad you asked.

What Is The “My Life Is Over” Mindset?

There is an interesting story to how I came up with the idea of this mindset. Around three years ago a friend of mine had a pregnancy scare with his girlfriend. Now, at the time I was extremely close to this friend so I was the first person he called to vent to about the situation.

Him: “I don’t know what to do. She’s late and she’s never late.”

Me: “Give it some time. You told me there is still some time for her to have her period right?”

Him: “Ya… but what if she doesn’t? My life will be over. I can’t go out and have fun anymore…”

Thus, the “my life is over” mindset was born.

Some men are frightened to death of having a child because they know that the second that, that child comes into the world they can’t be that selfish anymore. They know that they are going to have to dedicate time and energy to the child and that threatens the freedom they have of running around and having fun.

Gone are the nights where they can stay out all night and get drunk with their friends.

Gone are the nights where they can jump from girl to girl having one night stand after one night stand (though some pathetic guys still do this.)

My point is simple, in these men’s minds the life that they have grown accustomed to living is over. Here is the most ironic part of the whole situation though. If your ex boyfriend has adopted this “my life is over” mindset he isn’t thinking too clearly.

The truth is that his life isn’t over it is just going to change.

The only constant in life is change and adding a baby into the mix whether he is with you or not is going to change his life. This is a fact that he will eventually accept but it just may take some time before he has this epiphany.

One of my favorite examples to cite when it comes to this mindset came from another friend of mine.

In fact, there is a really interesting story to this one as well.

A Real Life Case Study Of A Woman Who Got Her Ex Back While Pregnant

harry potter pregnant

(Yes, apparantely Harry Potter got pregnant… and I think Ron or Malfoy is the father…) ”

Believe it or not but the very first person who I helped get her ex boyfriend back was a woman who was pregnant.

The woman was actually a friend I had met in college. She ended up meeting a guy, falling in love and then he broke up with her which I am sure a lot of you can relate to.

The major twist here happened when she found out she was pregnant with his child literally a day after the breakup occurred. Of course, when she told her ex boyfriend that he was the father he adopted the, “my life is over,” mindset and ran off to try to preserve the life he had grown accustomed to.

My friend, the woman, was obviously devastated. The man who she fell in love with had rejected her, she had nowhere to go and on top of everything she was pregnant and broke.

Now, I don’t know about you but that is a really bad situation to be in.

Of course, when all of this happened the two of us hadn’t really talked in months. So, when I was goofing off on Facebook one day I was surprised to receive a personal message from her. We got to talking and she filled me in on everything that had been going on in her life.

She told me about how she fell in love, how he broke up with her, how she was now pregnant with his child and how she was still deeply in love with him.

The whole story made me feel bad to be honest and I kind of wanted to help her out.

So, at first I provided some support by listening to her situation and offering helpful tidbits of information here and there which she would sometimes take. However, eventually things had gotten so bad between her and her ex boyfriend that it didn’t seem like anything would work.

That’s when I decided I was going to do some research on how most people typically approach a situation where they are trying to get their ex boyfriends back. Through my research I learned a lot about male psychology, how to properly build attraction and the importance of timing.

However, I would have to say that the most useful piece of advice I learned was the no contact rule.

It was the first time I had ever heard of something where you essentially cut someone out for a certain period of time in order to make them realize how important they are to you. So, I suggested that my friend should try this on her ex. Of course, some modifications had to be made to a strict NC since she was pregnant and he had every right to know what was going on with his child.

So, the way she approached the situation was simple.

Any time where there was a checkup or any other important information regarding the baby she would be allowed to message or talk to him on the phone. Other than that however, she was strict about her NC and didn’t break it.

At first, it didn’t seem like it was working too well because she missed him more than she had ever missed anyone in her life before. However, slowly but surely the no contact rule began to work its magic as he started getting antsy and wondering why she wasn’t begging for him back anymore.

Perhaps I should hit the pause button and explain the timing of how this all went down.

My friend didn’t get into contact with me until she was already a month pregnant. Four months after she had got into contact with me I simply listened to her vent and provided the necessary,

“It’s going to be ok’s.”

and

“It’s all going to work out in the end’s.”

as I could to her.

Around the start of month six of her pregnancy I decided to suggest that she try out the no contact rule and she complied.

She did NC (in the way I described above) for about a month and a half before it fully worked and her ex wanted her back. Yes, about midway through month seven of her pregnancy her ex boyfriend accompanied her to a checkup for the baby and they got back together the very next day.

I guess the question you are wondering is why?

What was it that she did that made him want to get back with her?

Why He Went Back To Her

im back

I believe there are a number of reasons that he went back to her.

I already taught you about the “my life is over” mindset and her ex definitely had some of that. Rather than accepting that his life was about to change he decided to run away from this fact and try to preserve the lifestyle he was so used to living. Of course, seven months after my friend told him the big news that she was pregnant he had some time to let reality set in and he began to realize that running away from his unborn child is not the right way to do things.

I have always found it interesting that men who get this MLIO (my life is over) mindset tend to have their hearts in the right place.

Now, that doesn’t excuse them for their pathetic actions of bailing but on some subconscious level they know that the second that, that child enters the world they are going to have to step up and act like a man. They know that they can’t be selfish anymore but rather selfless.

The idea that their life is over stems from this fact.

Of course, some men don’t come to this realization right away and that is where the no contact rule comes in, especially in this case.

What were some of the rules that my friend implemented when she was pregnant when it came to the no contact rule?

Well, she obviously wouldn’t contact him. However, when she went in for a checkup she felt he was entitled to know what was going on with his child so she would break NC then. Of course, she was short with him in those instances and any time he would try to steer the conversation to a topic other than their child she simply wouldn’t respond.

This was a massive 180 from the beginning of their breakup when she practically begged for him back and who can blame her?

She just found out she was pregnant. She had never felt more alone in her life and she was in love with him.

Her ex was just like most men in that he loved admiration. Any time she would beg for him back or plead for him to reconsider he kind of liked it. It made him feel wanted. It made him feel like he was powerful since he had a girl wanting him on this deep level.

Of course, when you fast forward seven months later the dynamic had changed when she blocked him out.

For the longest time he was used to her begging, used to her trying to reason with him and then all of a sudden it all stopped. The begging stopped, the reconsideration requests stopped, it all just stopped. He no longer felt wanted. He no longer felt needed.

This singular act of the no contact rule served as a wake up call for him that made him realize what a mistake he had made in leaving her and his child in the first place.

The Game Plan For Getting An Ex Back While Pregnant

according to plan

We are going to take a page out of my friends book in how she got her ex back when we look at how to get yours back. Of course, it has been years since my friends situation unfolded and I am a bit more crafty now when it comes to exes so I have new insight and advice for you to implement on top of what she did.

Here’s a brief overview of what you should do,

  • Modified NC
  • Building Attraction
  • Inviting To Checkups0

As always, I am going to be covering each of these steps in-depth.

The No Contact Rule During Pregnancy

einstein

Breakups tend to put people in a place where they feel highly emotional. Of course, pregnancy seems to do that to women too. So, when you couple the two together you are probably going to experience emotional pain like no other. This emotional pain is going to make doing the no contact rule extremely challenging.

Why?

I would say that a good 80% of women who visit this site and attempt the no contact rule end up failing it. Well, those 80% of women aren’t pregnant. So, if they are having such a rough time with no contact how do you think you are going to fare when you add in things like pregnancy hormones?

What I am about to say now is probably the most important piece of information you will find on this page.

Under no circumstances can you stray from NC in this case.

Why?

Because NC on a man who has left you while you are pregnant seems to have an increased effect since he is going to assume that you are going to beg for him back.

Of course, we are going to have to modify the no contact rule a little bit since you are pregnant and your ex does have a right to know what is going on.

Modification 1- If He Asks Anything About The Baby

I am going to leave this one up to you.

If you are in the middle of the no contact rule and he asks you something about the baby you are allowed to respond and talk to him about his inquiry. Of course, I do want to point out that if he shifts the focus to anything other than your child you are not to respond to him.

If I was in your position though the only time I would talk to him about the baby is if I were to volunteer the information myself.

Look, the thing to remember here is that these rules only apply for the time during the NC rule. After the NC rule you can go back to normal.

Modification 2- Volunteering Information On Checkups

As I am sure you have noticed one of the major sections on this page has to do with how to handle the checkups you get when you are pregnant. Well, during the NC rule you aren’t supposed to invite him to the checkups. Rather you are supposed to go to the checkup yourself and then volunteer the information to him after the fact.

Why?

Because this paints you in an independent light and should make him realize what he is missing out on.

Will it make him angry?

Probably.

But you know what?

He has no right to be angry when he is the one who left. This is what he misses out on when he leaves so make sure you make him realize that.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Building Attraction After The No Contact Rule

After the no contact rule is up then that’s when you should start building some attraction in your ex boyfriend.

What is the best way to do this?

The truth is that it’s a little too long to go into here. So, what I have done is compiled a list of the best guides I have written on Ex Boyfriend Recovery for building attraction. Check them out below,

  • Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO– My E-Book that covers exactly what to do, what to say and how to act in order to get your ex boyfriend back in pretty much any situation you can think of.
  • How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back– The very first guide I ever wrote for this site that talks a lot about rebuilding attraction in your ex boyfriend.
  • How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Love You Again– An excellent guide that focuses ONLY on how to build attraction in your ex boyfriend.
  • Get An Ex To Chase You– Another excellent guide that focuses on what you need to do if you want a man to chase after you (which can be helpful in your case.)

I know me linking to those pages is kind of weak and you probably want me to write something long and in-depth on how to build attraction in your ex but the truth is that those pages are excellent at teaching you how to do it. Besides, we have another very important issue to cover, how to handle checkups.

The Invitation To Pregnancy Checkups

invite

One of the smartest things that I feel my friend did when she was trying to get her ex boyfriend back was the fact that she would invite him to her checkups.

I actually remember she would tell me how excited she was to see him during these checkups. She even compared it to a date once.

Now, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but one of the biggest advantages to being pregnant and trying to get your ex boyfriend back is that you can use these checkups as a way to get him on your own version of a mini date. I know that sounds a little weird but hear me out.

When you go on a date with someone the main objective is to get that person to feel a connection with you. Generally speaking if you don’t feel a connection with that person you aren’t going to go on another date with that person. Now, let me ask you something.

What can make two human beings more connected than going to checkup and checking on a baby that is essentially made from them?

I dare you to find an activity that can match the level of connection that something like that can.

What you want to be doing is using these checkups as a way to slowly advance things and take advantage of your opportunities.

A Final Word

I don’t want to end on a bummer but I feel this is important to mention.

It’s not out of the realm of possibility that even if you do everything right, if you hit all the right emotional buttons within your ex you still may not get him back. This is another human being we are talking about here and as much as you may wish you had the ability to mind control him you can’t.

I don’t want this to discourage you and let you think that your dating life is over forever, it’s not.

The truth of the matter is that a man who leaves you during a time when you are pregnant is pathetic. No excuse can be made for that.

I know it sounds cliche but there are men out there who would be more than happy to have a beautiful woman with a child. So, if your ex can’t see you for the incredible person that you are then you can find a man who knows your value and who will treat you right.

What to Read Next

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348 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant”

  1. Avatar

    Kyle

    April 19, 2020 at 5:36 am

    Ok I’m the boyfriend in this situation, but my girlfriend was extremely toxic, immature, unstable and emotionally and mentally abusive. I knew she was pregnant. I made it clear to her that I would remain in contact and take care of things on my end. I ended our relationship and she has not responded to me in a week. I’m giving it time as well and employing the NC rule. But I have tried everything I could to do my part and she won’t have it (because she’s toxic). I’m being a man, and she’s being immature and self destructive, and potentially causing the baby harm. Should I continue to wait for her to reach out to me to update me throughout the pregnancy?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 25, 2020 at 9:19 am

      Hi Kyle, I would say it would be best if you ask about the pregnancy / baby directly – even if its just for your peace of mind. I would look for a way that you can co parent with your ex in a civil way so that the toxic traits you are talking about do not affect baby when he/she arrives

  2. Avatar

    Chandler

    April 15, 2020 at 6:02 pm

    This article helped me. I’m actually on the opposite side of this.

    My girlfriend and I mutually broke up on Friday. She texted me on Monday to call her. I did and she told me she was pregnant. As you can imagine a combination of the break up and the pregnancy was tough to swallow. We agreed to part ways because at that time because we felt we wouldn’t be happy being married. Now I’m stunned trying to be supportive but gather facts. Some of which don’t seem to add up.

    Why would you agree to leave me if you knew you were two weeks late?

    When you went on vacation two of the last 6 weeks did you see anyone else?

    We’ve had sex only twice in the last 6 weeks and I’m scepticle whether it’s mine but I know it only takes once accident for this to happen.

    Why is she so content on having this baby out of wed lock after informing me 12 hours ago? How long has she known this?

    I know I may be over thinking this but I’m trying to remain calm.

    We are going to see her OBGYN next Wednesday so hopefully that will help put me at ease.

    How should I communicate with my girlfriend to get the facts and help support her?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 23, 2020 at 4:15 pm

      Hi Chandler, so I am looking at your post and understand that you are questioning things if she is content with the situation. I obviously can not answer some of those questions, but usually to make a woman do a test she would have had a feeling/thought she was pregnant for a few days. If you choose to be apart and not get back in a relationship then I suggest the most important thing you do is learn how you are going to co-parent with your ex for the sake of the baby. When you get an idea on dates I hope that makes you feel better about the baby being yours and not someone else.

  3. Avatar

    Mickey

    March 18, 2020 at 1:51 pm

    Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and we are expecting our first child together. Almost a week ago he moved out because I told him I needed space away from him because he was stressing me out. He begged me to let him stay but I felt that if he was still at home with me my stress level would still be out of whack. So i told him that he have to leave for a few days and then when i am back to myself he can come back home. Now I’m not gonna lie….i did tell him that if he decides not to come back it wont bother me because i was planning on relocating to the states, but I only said that to make him realize how he been treating me and to straighten up. But he took it as I’m taking his child away from him so he packed his things and left. I never meant for things to turn out the way it did. I’m still in love with him and I want him back but I’m scared that he wont come back. What can I do to make this right?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 23, 2020 at 11:48 pm

      I suggest that you have a calm conversation with your ex / boyfriend about how you are struggling to deal with your emotions, also mention this to your midwife. And explain that you want the relationship to work and seek out a couples therapist. As you are pregnant and the timing is delicate with the events of the world right now make sure that you are putting yours and your babys health first at all times right now

  4. Avatar

    shine

    March 12, 2020 at 11:14 pm

    Hi my name is shine I dated my ex for about 2yeas and half and he suddenly wanted space from the relationship which ended into a breakup I cried and pleaded bcos I didn’t know what exactly my fault was he also kept on tellING me I did nothing wrong to but he wanted a break up to work on him self so I did everything I could to get him back but it didn’t just work two months after we broke up I found out I was two month pregnant I informed him about it and he insisted that I get an abortion I tried getting the abortion because considerin our age and arriving a child will be too much stress on him he is 21 and I am 19, I went to the hospital for the scan before the abortion will take place and I was told I have a serious ovarian cyst so we got scared and decided to keep the baby but the neXT day he told me he can’t take it anymore so the decision was too hard for him to take so he wanted an abortion I told him I was afraid of that and he insisted I have the abortion or else his going to abondan I and the child I attempted to have a abortion and my mothere saw the drugs and toke them away from me I called him and told him what happened and he got very angry , he blocked me on whatsApp and unblocked me the next day my baby was also developing and he become the hot and cold type he tells me doesn’t love me anymore and now as m carrying his child he can’t think straight anymore, he had been the one sending me money for my up keeps since I got pregnant now am 15 weeks pregnant and he always tells me he doesn’t want me anymore he can’t love me like he used to he tells me to give birth and he will take the baby and I continue my life i sometimes leave him for some days when he put me in much pain but he reaches out to check on me and my tommy too, am afraid of losing him I love him soo much now that am carrying his baby what should I do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 20, 2020 at 9:59 pm

      Hi Shine so considering you are pregnant at this difficult time I Would suggest that you follow the limited no contact rule. Where you do not reach out to him but if he asks how baby is you answer him. Otherwise you need to solely focus on yourself. Focus on having a pregnancy that you are going to enjoy – not feel that you worried, were upset and stressed through. Because believe me it doesnt feel like it at the time but this is going to go by so fast! And you will miss this feeling! If you want him back then you need to follow the process, but there is also the chance that he is scared if this is his first child he is just freaking about the responsibility that is on its way

  5. Avatar

    Sisi

    February 20, 2020 at 6:47 am

    Me and my ex were together about 7 months, when a week ago he broke up with me due to the fact I had been in a very terrible depression since I lost my job and my grandmother had passed at the same time a week prior. He told me he needed to work on himself and he still loved me and this isn’t what he wanted but he needs it. So I let him go. In the middle of NC is when I found out he had a new girlfriend already, a girl that I had always been suspicious he had a crush on before we got together but he told me no. The same day I found out I was pregnant, when I reached out he told me to abort it and I said I wouldn’t do that. He said he will be involved and we’ve maintained a healthy communication. He told the girl and she’s supportive. Him and this girl got together only 3 days after our breakup, so I’m not sure if it’s a rebound but it seems to be. I want him to come back because I love him and would like us to be a family. I left him on read almost two days ago because i felt I needed to reinstate NC. He has blocked me on Instagram and Snapchat, after changing his Instagram name to match hers. Idk what to do but I love him very deeply and I feel this is such a big mistake on his part. What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 22, 2020 at 10:32 pm

      Hi Sisi so you still need to follow the no contact rule as you need to give your ex some time away from you. And give yourself this chance to work on your mental health to show you are working on becoming happier in yourself. Read about the being there method and try to work out if you feel that you are mentally able to follow this process.

  6. Avatar

    Thalia

    February 16, 2020 at 11:09 pm

    Hi! I’m 18 and about to have my first baby. Yes I’m young and this wasn’t planned but it wasn’t unexpected either. My life would have probably ended up differently if my mother wasn’t such a bitch. And I’m serious when I say she’s a bitch. She’s the kind of mother who desires your death and curses the day you were born. But anywho, I’m having my first baby like I said, and I’m only a few weeks pregnant. I live with my ex boyfriend right now and I know he still loves me but I pushed him away so much that I don’t know if he’s really done trying. But the reason I pushed him away was because he can be so thoughtless. Makes me feel like he doesn’t care and like I’m talking to a wall most days. And I feel like some days he wants to be a good father and other days he’s on the “my life is over” mindset. Like he’s not ready to give up on his old lifestyle, though he used to talk about marriage etc. What do I do? I love him and I want to be with him and have my little family with him but I feel like we constantly fight and there’s no point to the fights because he doesn’t care. And it’s difficult not being in a relationship with him when I’m carrying his child and sharing the same bed. And soon our own apartment as well.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 17, 2020 at 10:27 am

      Hey Thalia, if you want to get your ex back then you need to work on your emotional control and learn when you need to not react to what people say and do. Silence is a powerful tool believe me. If you keep pushing him away then maybe you need to seek out a therapist who will help you deal with your emotions regarding your childhood so that when you are in relationships you have the tools how to work through things healthily. I can understand how hard it is to live with your babys father and not be with them, it takes a lot of emotional, physical and mental control. So make sure you are focusing on becoming the best version of yourself ready for when the baby arrives.

  7. Avatar

    Nell

    February 13, 2020 at 1:45 am

    Hi
    My ex and I actually had a great relationship, we love spending time together and we both enjoy and value the same things. The only reason he left me a month ago was because of one thing that I should have changed early on. I usually wouldn’t tell people this but I feel like I should tell the whole story to get the best help. I am a sex worker, he knew this before we got together and he said he accepted it. I always planned to get out but it is a hard industry to leave sometimes and he was struggling financially and I wanted to help him so I stayed in it. Jump to a year and 4 months later, I am renting a house on my own but I have come to the decision I don’t want to do this job anymore, I can’t do it when I love him so much. I told him my decision and he was happy but also told me how he had been thinking or leaving me because he couldn’t handle it anymore. He said knowing what I do and all the things that come with it, all the emotional support he has given me over the course of the relationship has worn him down and he doesn’t love me anymore.
    We tried to make it work, I told him I was leaving as soon as my rental lease was up and asked if he could stick it out till then, he said he would but only a few weeks later he broke it off.
    We still spent time together, still slept together after this. He told me he loves spending time with me and really likes me and cares about me as a person. He then started to become more affectionate again, he said he was confused. He also said that things might be different now because we have communicated about everything and have been able to be completely open with each other. He started to go back and forwards saying he didn’t know what he wanted so I was about to cut him off until I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant.
    I told him the news when he came over the next night, he took it really well. He was calm and supportive, we talked about it and all the different scenarios. It has only been a week since I found out but this last week we have spent a lot of time together. He became super affectionate, holding my hand in public, kissing me on the forehead, always wanting to cuddle me and hold me. He told me the feelings had come back a little and he thinks the relationship could be good now. He spent friday night and all day Saturday with me and we had a great time. Sunday morning I offered to pick him up and give him a lift somewhere and he accepted even thougv he had multiple people offering that would have been easier. He wanted me to spend Sunday with him watching movies but I declined as I was busy so instead he came out Sunday night. We were both a little tired Sunday so we weren’t as chatty and he left early Monday morning for work. He messaged me all day Monday, he was happy and flirting and making plans for the week but then he went to his mother’s for dinner and he changed. He asked when I was stopping work and I said as soon as I can find someone to take over the lease or find other work (I can’t just stop working and live on the streets and I have only some 2 shifts since I found out) he then called me that night and said he doesn’t want me or the baby. He became nasty and said that his mum thinks it is disgusting that I am working and that she won’t accept me or this baby and has no respect.. I don’t know what she thought I could do different. He said that he doesn’t love me and will never get back with me and that he was always leaning towards terminating the baby. I asked if that was the case then why give me false hope and act all happy and excited and he said because he wasn’t sure yet. He has since apologied for some of the horrible things he said and told me he wants to be there for me and the baby if I decide to keep it but he thinks that it is the most logical thing to terminate. I want to keep it, I haven’t told him yet. Once we sorted things out after the heated argument I stopped talking to him. We have an appointment on Tuesday and he wants to come to that. What do you think of all of this? I am going to try the NC and see how it goes.
    I just need to say through out the relationship I did ask how he was coping and he always told me he was dealing with it. We did agree that he could have communicated and that was part of the problem but now it’s too late, what’s done is done.
    Do you think it is possible to win him back?
    I am stopping my job now, I am about to start counselling, I am making plans to build a house before baby arrives and I have just started studying. I really do want him back.

    PS: I haven’t contacted him this morning but he just called me and asked if I wanted to go to the movies.. I’m so confused

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 22, 2020 at 11:17 pm

      Hi Nell so your situation has a few things you need to think about

      If you want the baby, then you have to be willing to do it alone as he has told you not to have the child. If you really want to be parent then you must tell him you are 100% keeping the baby and then explain to him that he is either in or out there is no 50/50 when baby arrives.

      Sometimes people freak out when they hear that their ex is pregnant and auto suggest a termination because you are not together anymore.

      You need to follow a limited no contact where you make him aware of any pregnancy or baby issues but the rest of the time you do not speak with him. As for him calling you up and asking if you want to go to the movies. You are doing great things with your life, such as building a house, going to counselling. Is there a reason you are leaving your job with such a big project on the go?

      I would decline the movies invitation at the moment and allow him to come to appointments with you and see what he says in the mean time. Do not become his friend while you still want to get him back as a boyfriend.

  8. Avatar

    Emily

    February 5, 2020 at 11:22 pm

    I’m 29 and 21wks pregnant my ex left me at 17wks and has since then pretty much ignored me. We had been together since March of 2019, lived together, and talked about the future and planned this baby. Well things began to escalate after I found out I was pregnant we were fighting almost everyday about something, mainly financial stuff. He was working two jobs but I still felt I was support him myself and my son when that wasn’t the agreement. With each fight he would always end up leaving and staying away for the night, and of course I’d reach out to him and he’d come back. The last fight we had, we both acknowledged we had our own issues and needed to work on it we were willing to do whatever to make it happen because we owed it to this baby. But the next day I was asking for reassurance and he couldn’t give it to me.. so we started talking about breaking up, said he needed time.. that he feels empty and doesn’t recognize himself.. long story short he ended things with me and cut off all contact .. I went into a very low state and wanted to end my life and get rid of the baby like he had gotten rid of us.. I reached out for help because I was afraid of myself. Every promise he ever made was broken. We had commitments together financially and emotionally. After a few days I reach out to him again.. he says that he’s seriously done and doesn’t want to be with me anymore. So I decide I want him out of my house because having his things there only depresses me .. so I gave him a date he moved out and took some things he had bought me for the baby and somethings he had gotten for my son. I called him outraged and he made excuses. Said he didn’t love me anymore that I pushed him that far with all the fighting and making him feel like he wasn’t good enough.. he contacts me a week later not asking about me or the baby just about his fire pit that he forget that I had thrown out bc anything he left I thru away. I ignored him after that and we didn’t speak.. I got off his phone plan changed my number because to me it was clear we were done and I didn’t want him to hold the phone over my head. I sent him one last text pouring my heart out then blocked his number for a few days.. unblocked him without telling him. Had my appt yesterday to find out the sex of my baby and he decides to contact me about the gender and pictures and if the baby was healthy.. I told him baby was fine he insist on wanting to know the sex and see pictures I lied at first saying I didn’t find out.. he asked why .. I said bc I didn’t want too, originally I didn’t want too.. he replies with … I did. I sent him a long heart felt message about how he left and had shown no concern and then admitted I found out the sex and how beautiful the baby was .. he went on about how it was my fault he had two choices to leave or kill himself.. that nothing he did was ever good enough.. and that it killed him to leave but he had no other choice. Mind you he has shown no interest in the baby or cared to ask about when I was in the hospital when he first left me and I had my breakdown.. he’s 23 and personally acting selfish.. I’ve turned my life around and come to acceptance of everything.. been focusing on me my son and this baby. It’s not about him or me anymore and he’s just stuck putting all the blame on for me the relationship and I don’t understand because he wasn’t mister perfect. I didn’t think our relationship was so bad. My question is what do I do? Should I tell him the gender? Is there a chance he’ll come out of this and man up? I never saw him to be this person.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 8, 2020 at 5:21 pm

      Hey there, yes you should tell him the gender of your baby as it is just as much is as it is yours. The situation you described, sounds like it was the relationship had become toxic and wasnt good for either of you. I would suggest that you look for a way to co parent positively before the baby arrives and then follow this program if you want to get him back. As for “manning up” That may come with time when baby is here.

  9. Avatar

    Yelle

    January 29, 2020 at 9:28 am

    Hi!!

    I need your advise on this. My ex recently broke up with me because he felt that I didn’t deserve him and that he became attracted to other woman (attracted only, no physical contact). Just two days ago, I found out that I’m pregnant and I told him about that he said he’s still willing to be the father of our child support him or her etc but has no intentions of getting us back together because he said he doesn’t love me anymore. I tried NC for a day but he keeps on texting/chatting or calling me, asking me how was I and the baby, and if ever I want to have check ups etc with him. And also, he drops foods at my office (he drops it at the guards station and the guards calls me to get it) when I asked him his plan and why is he doing this, he just said that he just wants to be involved with the baby and he really made clear that he has no plans on getting us back together. So my question would be, do I have a chance to be with him? Or he’s just really trying to be decent for our child? Please help. I really love him. Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 5, 2020 at 9:08 pm

      Hey Yelle, so as you are pregnant with his child you need to do a limited No Contact, so you dont spek to him unless he reaches out to you about the baby. So when he asks how you are just ignore the message. He needs to have time to miss you! And he is not going to do that unless you complete a NC. I would say next time he mentions baby, tell him youll let him know any appointments and changes that come around. And leave it at that.

  10. Avatar

    Jess

    January 1, 2020 at 7:07 pm

    My ex bf of 9 months (we were friends for about a year before) got me pregnant. This wasn’t something I wanted and really not something he wanted. But for the first two months he told me he was excited and he will be there for us no matter what. Then when he told his mom and she also had a meltdown he changed his tune. Demanding me to get an abortion. I told him I can’t do it because at this point I was already close to the second trimester and the baby was developed enough that I couldn’t live with myself. He broke up with me and two days later we got back together. He was so happy telling me how much he missed me, then out of no where he was back to the get an abortion or I’m leaving. He ignored me for two days so I suggested we meet up so we could just end things cause I was tired of being left hanging. He once again suggested the abortion, saying he doesn’t love me anymore. I refused and he left and I think it’s for good. He’s deleted me off of all social media and I haven’t heard from him since. It’s been about a week which is the longest we’ve gone without talking. What should I do? The logical side of me thinks I should move on but the pregnant and hormonal side of me wants the father in our lives. What should I do? As far as I know he hasn’t started dating anyone else and spends all his free time playing Xbox

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 4:41 am

      Hi Jess, so the fact he was happy at first, and then his mother has voiced her views it shows that he is being influenced. You have not mentioned how old you both are, but it sounds like the mother is in control of this situation not you guys. You decided you are keeping the baby, that is your choice, it is his choice if he wants to be involved when baby arrives I guess. For now I would No Contact him and make sure you are preparing yourself for the baby to arrive as it is going to be quite an adjustment if this is your first child. When baby is here, you may find the mother changes her mind. It is a scary moment finding out you are going to be a parent, I am assuming this is the first time for you both

  11. Avatar

    Nicole

    December 7, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    Hello Chris and Team!
    I need your help again, I recently tried the ex boyfriend recovery about a year or two ago my now ex boyfriend again.
    We have been together on and off for 9 years.
    I broke up with him in March 2019 due to feeling like the relationship was pointless and we weren’t on the same page. I felt like I was wasting more time and it was best to go out separate ways. It was amicable. It didn’t end ugly, I wasn’t an emotional wreck either, I felt like I came to terms with it. Although we broke up I was still living with him, due to the circumstances he let me stay with him for a few months until I could figure out my living situation. We were not intimate at all, we were like good friends/roommates. Then one night we were just at home watching movies and having a few drinks, well we ended up getting drunk and we slept together June 1st to be exact. (I wasn’t on birth control since Feb).
    I moved out of his place June 20th. We had no contact when I left, It felt completely over and done. I was still fine with it, not emotional about it.
    July 3rd, I find out I am pregnant. Calculating I w)as 6 weeks at the time.
    I contacted him on July 5th and asked if I can come by I had some stuff I had left at his place, (I really did). I wanted to tell him the news in person. He said okay, that Saturday 6th was fine. He seemed happy to hear from me. I go by that Saturday and instead of going into his place, he comes out all dressed up nicely and happy, asked me if I wanted to go eat. I was caught off guard by that and said okay that’s fine, break the ice afterwards and tell him the news. We had a great time, laughing etc. Felt like we never broke up, very natural.
    I saw in his phone that changed my contact name from Nicole to ” The One I Love”
    I was shocked to see that.
    So after eating we went to his place, I got my stuff and told him I needed to tell him something. I told him I was pregnant, showed in the 4 tests I took, all confirming it.
    He was shocked. He wasn’t mad.
    He said he will support me in whatever decision I make, its my choice.
    He had tears in his eyes.
    I told him I don’t expect us to get back together due the fact that I’m pregnant.
    I don’t expect him to marry me either. I just want him to know.
    I said if we aren’t together I am fine with it, I just want us to be civil with each other and not let it get ugly. He agreed! There is not reason for us not get along. It’s not about us.
    He hugged me. (First kid for the both of us)
    He then gave me money to go see the doctor to find out how far along I was exactly and decide what I wanted to do. He never pressured me.
    I had finally decide August 17, that I was going to have the baby, I told him my decision and he said okay. He then told him family the news. He seemed happy about it.
    He said he is shocked about this but happy. He couldn’t imagine having a baby with anyone else, he loved me.
    We then start seeing each other, making it work. BF/GF again.
    It felt different this time, we go along better than ever. We didn’t argue.
    He came to my appts, bought me whatever I needed, maternity cloths, food etc…
    Things were great for 4-5 months. He was even talking about marriage…
    A few days ago, I told him my family wants to meet his before I have the baby shower in January. (Due date February 2020) I am currently 7 months pregnant.
    He said okay, set something up.
    I then told him I would like for him to start making an effort around my family, come around more since we are going to be having a baby. I told him this before and he said okay. I mentioned it again due to my family asking me and it being the holidays.
    Later that night, he called, I missed it. (We are not living together)
    He send me this LONG text, bring up our past issues of 9 years. Saying he’s does not exist to please me, my family or his. He’s tired of being unhappy. He’s DUN.
    My response, Then go be happy. Go find someone who can make you happy since I don’t. He said, Okay.
    Then he says, I don’t have to answer to you, I can do what I want.
    This isn’t about Us its about him (We are having a boy).
    I would starve to make sure you and him are taken care of and you both have what you need.
    I said, I never said you wouldn’t provide or be there or him.
    I just want you to be part of his life and not just financially.
    My pregnancy hormones kicked in after that, I felt betrayed and more time wasted.
    Deep down I always had it back in my mind that I would leave me again.
    We have always been on and off for 9 years. One minute he wants me and loves me and the next he no longer is happy and wanted to break up for months. Hot and Cold.
    I told him that I felt like he just wasted months of my time. If this how he felt of being unhappy with me, why did he get back with me. I never expected to get back together. I made it very clear. I told him he didn’t know what the hell he wants.
    I told him he didn’t love me the way he claimed. I requested something from him so simple and he refused to do it. 9 years of this on and off I have went over and beyond for him because I love him and he couldn’t do the same for me.
    I did text a few of my thoughts for two days after that. I told him I can’t keep doing this on and off bullshit, back and forth. I was done and we were never going to get back together. He never answered my texts. I haven’t texted or called him since. It’s been 3 days since.
    I am not sure if I want him back.
    I do feel hurt and alone.
    This was totally out of nowhere. I thought everything was fine between us. Never expected this. I was wrong.
    I need words of wisdom…

    Thanks!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 9, 2019 at 4:55 pm

      Hi Nicole, so you have to do a limited no contact and focus on yourself and preparing for the babies birth. To me it sounds like he has finally been hit with the reality of what is going to happen and the changes that need to be made next which is the baby and the responsibility that comes with it. So if you’re not sure you want him back then I suggest you do limtied no contact until you are less hurt and know if you want to be with him or not. If you do want him back then you need to implement this program, and if you dont then you need to work to be able to co parent positively with him

  12. Avatar

    Emily

    December 5, 2019 at 2:46 pm

    My boyfriend of 3 years recently dumped me and made me move out of our house. I am 25 weeks pregnant and cat eat or sleep or do anything. He said it was due to us arguing all the time and he doesn’t want to raise our daughter around that but 90% of our fights were because i had a gut feeling he wasn’t being faithful. Hes been stressed over money but never asked me for help but now everything is my fault. I found out he was at some girls house for a couple nights (which he denies but I have proof) and now he’s seeing ANOTHER girl. Says it just happened and it’s going really good. He says he wants to be in his daughters life but hasn’t came to an appt since we broke up. I’m trying to be civil with him but it’s really hard. He’s moving out of our house too I guess and back with his parents. He’s been with this new girl every night and even at the bar. I had a good relationship with his parents and now I feel like they’re supporting his decisions. I don’t understand how he can move on so quickly after being with me for 3 years, having a house, and about to have a baby. Plus he bought me an engagement ring and was planning on asking me to marry him. I am just so hurt I can’t get over it. I feel replaced and worthless that he can put in so much effort to another girl that he didn’t to me.

  13. Avatar

    Angela

    December 1, 2019 at 5:49 pm

    Hello,
    I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with my ex’s baby. We broke up about 2 months ago before I knew I was pregnant and the worst part is, I broke up with him all because of a huge fight, which I immediately regretted. About 2 weeks after the brake up was when I found out I was pregnant and told him. He was scared and still mad about the brake up and told me he wanted me to get an abortion. I gave him about 2 weeks then we went to dinner to talk. I told him I wasn’t getting an abortion and he told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby so of course I was heartbroken especially since he has a daughter that he is very involved with. I took the advice of doing no contact and did that for a little over 3 weeks then texted him. We had a good conversation and talked for a couple days which gave me hope he wasn’t over me. Ever since we have seen each other twice and he continues to Snapchat me frequently but I made the mistake of sleeping with him the 2 times we saw each other but we also talked and he told me about his new job and what he has going on but he hasn’t brought up the baby at all and I’m scared to because I don’t want him to run away again. He still talks to be but it seems like he is getting more distant and I have a feeling it’s because he is scared to get close to me again. I pretty much acted like I didn’t care about braking up and moved out of our house, got a new apartment and have been doing pretty good but I want to tell him how I feel. I’m so scared of rejection and that I will push him away ever further but I know I can’t get him back if he doesn’t know how I feel. I just don’t even know how to approach it. He is extremely stubborn but the fact that he is still talking to me makes me think he’s not ready to be done and move on. On top of that, most of his family doesn’t know I’m pregnant and I don’t want to tell them because they will most definitely not be happy with him for saying he doesn’t want to be involved. I don’t know what to do. But I’m terrified I will have to relive this break up all over again and I don’t know if I can handle that. My heart wants to believe he was just mad because I broke up with him in the beginning and that’s why he said what he said and had so much resentment toward me. I think no contact helped but I don’t know what to do from here. Can you give me some advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 8:15 pm

      Hi Angela, so what you are doing is getting him to invest time in you, but you need to stop sleeping with him unless you are back together, so if you can get some meet ups sorted, plus by now you’re going to start showing you are pregnant I am sure. So that is going to be there, dont hide your pregnancy or avoid it as thats unfair to you and your baby. He has to accept that if he chooses to be in the babys life or not there is a baby coming. He needs to make that decision before the birth. I would talk to him about topics you know he would be interested in talking to you about and then from there get some more meet ups sorted, but do not have sex with him!

  14. Avatar

    Lost for words

    November 28, 2019 at 6:00 am

    Hello I’m 23 weeks pregnant. My ex wanted a baby so we did the deed I became pregnant. Long story short everything was great until I became pregnant. We been together for 1 year & a couple of months. When I was 10 weeks pregnant he told me that he wanted a career change that would allow him to be away from home on weekends or sometimes every weekend. So I felt like basically he gave me an ultimatum of accepting his new adventures or be single, so I chose to be single because that was just a slap in the face to even consider a career change/ new adventures when he planned a baby. So I haven’t been letting him come around. Now I’m hearing he has been sleeping with another chick, when I ask him his reply is “Did she tell you we sleeping together”,….He won’t give me a straight forward answer & plus it’s just making me feel stressed. I started hanging around my family more & he reached out & told me that “A pregnant woman that hangs out is disgusting”,….It’s like he never have anything positive to say! What to do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 1, 2019 at 5:18 pm

      Hey there, can you define what you mean by hanging out with your family? Unless you are drinking, smoking, taking drugs, or doing something that will harm your baby then there is nothing wrong with you spending time with your family. By the sounds of it he expects you to spend your pregnancy alone? This other woman you need proof that there is something going on do not assume or go of hear say.

      Go into limited no contact with him for at least 30 days where you only speak to him about the baby if you need to or something important happens. It is a shame that you are not able to work through things with him having a career change that means he would be away sometimes, even though thats hard it is better than him not working. So consider if you could make it work of you were to get back with him

  15. Avatar

    Carissa

    November 24, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    Hi
    I am currently 8 weeks pregnant. I told my boyfriend when I was 3 and half weeks. We had the best relationship I truly did everything for him. He has always lived a distance but lately has moved a bit further but obviously we spoke about this al prior to my pregnant for 4 weeks he kept saying he needed time but defiantly wanted to be with me and loves me for the last week he’s said he no longer wants me he said the responsibility of being a dad is too much and he doesn’t want to be a family he’s promised for 5 weeks that he’d see me and has let me down it’s been constant lies and broken promises I ask what I did and he says I’m perfect he just doesn’t want this anymore and today I had my first scan and he blocked me the day before and never even said good luck a friend of mine asked why he hasn’t spoke and he said that he’s too busy. I’m heartbroken I don’t know who he is anymore and he keeps making out the distance is why he can’t be with me. I’ve done everything for this man and we was planning this baby none of it makes sense I need to try not talk to him but I honestly don’t think it will make a difference in this case seems like that’s exsactly what he wants and all I want is a cuddle i miss him so much I’ve even ended up in hospital due to being so suicidal from this break up I don’t know how it can go so down hill over something so special

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 25, 2019 at 5:13 pm

      Hi Carissa, I am so sorry he has ended things with you and the most important thing now is you and the baby. Following the rules of No Contact with him and leave him behind you for the time being as you need to get stronger and happier over the next few weeks ready for your baby to arrive. When the baby does arrive, you will see what love you have for him/her takes over all the bad going on right now. If your ex decides he wants to be involved come the time then you can decide if its best for you to see him again due to yourself and how emotionally ready you are. If not you could come up with a plan with a trusted family member to sort contact for your ex and baby

  16. Avatar

    Jess

    November 22, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    Hi,
    Im currently 35 weeks pregnant and my ex of almost 4 years broke up with me when I was 7 months. Out of the blue he tells me that he doesn’t feel anything for me and that the relationship feels forced, but a couple days before the break up , he was talking about the future and that he already knows what kind of gift he was going to get me for my birthday. We broke up before and he came back so i gave him another chance. And this is what he does. I feel stupid for believing him that he really missed me and wanted things to work. A week after he broke up with me, he started talking to another girl (Who’s name i heard twice during our relationship without knowing). I feel like he wanted to cheat but didn’t want the guilt on him, so he broke up with me. He grabbed all his stuff and left. He did not even once asked me how the baby is doing. It was heart breaking and confusing when he left but i was trying to keep my head up and stay strong for the baby. I didn’t want the baby to feel my negative emotions.
    He wants to be involved in the baby’s life but not in mine. So I let him come to the doctors appointment and stuff. But he sees that I don’t pay him no freaking mind and what does he do? He tries to hurt me on purpose. He came like 4 weeks after the breakup to my house at 1:30 am to tell me that he is talking to someone for 3 weeks and that he is really interested in her and that she might become the stepmother of my baby.

    I really missed him when he broke up with me, but after he pulled this one on me. I hated him ever since. I have never felt this anger for someone. But i still try to keep my emotions under control. I told him that it was a bitch move to try to hurt me on purpose, because i did not need to know that and that i was happy for him. All i wanted to do was punch him in his face.

    So now that im 35 weeks pregnant, i’ve been having lots of cramps and this guy wants to ask me if i can move my next appointment !!! Is he stupid?

    And the thing is, is that he now posted his new girl on his social media, but never even posted me or the gender reveal. And all his friends and family are happy that he got a pretty girl.

    And although i dont wanna feel this way. I feel betrayed and allot of hate for these people as well.
    But he didn’t tell them that he broke up with me because of how he feels and wanted to do.
    He told them that we had allot of issues and that i would argue allot with him, so we BOTH decided that we should break up.

    I feel sick to my stomach that a man can leave and lie on a pregnant woman like a bitch. I don’t rven want to defend myself to them because they are all not worth my energy. I know karma will come back one way or another.

    The only thing that i want right now is for my anger to leave my body. Sometimes i just can’t control it anymore and it’s really dangerous. I just want to focus on my little baby who will be here in 4 weeks.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 24, 2019 at 12:00 am

      Hey Jess, so that is really hard because of the way he has handled the break up and lied about it too. He does not want to look like the bad guy, that is why the truth is altered to his friends and family. As for how to get rid of your anger remind yourself this is not your doing this is his. And also the fact he is already in a new relationship while you are pregnant with his child is going to make it very hard for them to work. At this point I would consider her to be a rebound and that he doesnt actually have real feelings for her as of yet, that takes much more time. You need to follow a limted no contact where you only speak to him about the baby if its something he does need to know and then when the baby arrives hopefully youll be able to rebuild your connection starting friendly and doing the being there method because of the other woman. Read as much of the materials as you can here to help you have your best chance of being happy again. The best is yet to come because that little baby will make you the happiest person on the planet I promise you that much

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    CRYSTAL

    November 19, 2019 at 9:06 am

    my situation is quite different..PLEASE HELP..me(27) and my ex(29)we lived together and our relationship lasted almost 5 years..he broke up with me bc apparently he doesnt love me anymore..i still love him…thing is we continued to have sex regardless of the fact that the love isnt reciprocated…so 2 months later i end up pregnant but i didnt find out untill i missed my period a month after conception..i told him soon as i found out and of course we both felt it sucks, its not ideal but we made the choice to move back in together for the baby! Although we havent moved back in yet we are supposed to in a week..he is just now telling me that he met someone else around the time i found out about the pregnancy and he likes her they dated a bit but its nothing serious yet. he still wants us to move in together but sleep seperately and he wants to persue this new relationship while living with me IF the other woman is okay with the whole situation. He didnt tell me right away obviously when i told him im pregnant because he tried to end it with her and cut communication but she continues to persue him ..tommorow he is going to come clean to her about the whooolee situatioin and im afraid that she wont back off and i will be forced to not move in because i dont want to be in that messy situation..but at the same time we had already agreed the best thing for the baby is to raise him under the same roof…basically i do love him and want him back BUT my main worry is the baby and how involved the father is going to really be esoecially if hes going to start a new relationship eventually shes going to make him choose between herself and our baby …DO YOU THINK I CAN WIN HIM BACK WHILST LIVING WITH HIM ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 19, 2019 at 10:45 pm

      Hi Crystal if this new woman is going to make him choose between her and the baby, and he is willing to live with you just to be around the baby full time she is going to lose that ultimatum. HOWEVER getting him back during your pregnancy and living together is actually going to be difficult. You need to do something called limited no contact, and you need to show him how you are the better person out of yourself and the other woman. Doing so is going to take a lot of self control emotionally and physically. Do not sleep with him if you are not back into a committed relationship. If the other woman does not leave once he has told her about you and the baby, and continues to contact him. You need to act unphased by her

  18. Avatar

    Seasonal moment

    October 24, 2019 at 8:09 am

    6 weeks pregnant broke up in August 14 2019 , got pregnant within the break up in September he was constantly back and forth giving mix signals , and now he says we won’t work out but will support the baby but doesn’t want to be there for me .

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 24, 2019 at 8:44 pm

      Hi SM, so you need to limit your No Contact where you only tell him things he needs to know about the baby and at this early stage there is not much to tell him. You need to make sure you work on yourself and let him feel like hes lost you and not give him sex or any intimacy at all while you are not together officially. You need to appear that you are focusing on yourself (and baby) and you dont need him for anything. Look up the Ungettable Girl articles and apply this to your life as best you can

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    Tiffany Soles

    October 18, 2019 at 4:23 am

    I have been with my ex for 7 years. We broke up back in February of this year and since the breakup we have kept in touch here and there. We limited contact but I just couldn’t stay away and now im 16 weeks pregnant with his child. He says we were never really apart and that he cant jump into a relationship with me solely because I am pregnant. I still love him but I want my complete family. He says that I am pushing it too much and that this relationship just cannot work. Should I try the no contact rule?
    I still love him very much and I feel so vulnerable and alone and I’ve tried talking to him and telling him how I feel but nothing works.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 20, 2019 at 9:12 pm

      Hi Tiffany, congratulations on your pregnancy and yes you two need some time apart for him to realise he wants to be with you so complete a limited nc where you only reach out if its about the baby and its well being. FOR NOW then after 30 days you can start talking again and see where you are both at by then

  20. Avatar

    Betty Walker

    August 27, 2019 at 11:07 am

    I want to offer a bit of advice to everyone searching for marriage/relationship help. Me and my husband had a rough time for a decade; all our family & friends constantly advising us to get a divorce but we knew it would break our children’s heart. We tried so many different things to save our marriage and from trial & error we came across a very helpful Love solution spell temple on facebook page reviews that love spell from this temple works, I contacted the spell priestess and purchased a spell to bring love and happiness in my marital home and now we are happily together like we just got married. Love solution spell temple powers are strong. My Husband became so passionate about our love and more into me… lol Just like being in my teen.

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