This is the ultimate nightmare scenario for women who go through a breakup, being pregnant.

You see, when most women go through a breakup they go through the 5 emotional stages that accompany that breakup,

Stage 1- “How in the world did this happen?”

Stage 2- ” There is no way that this is happening to me..”

Stage 3- ” LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”

Stage 4- ” How am I going to get him back?”

Stage 5- ” Can I survive without him?”

The stages seen above are normal for 99% of the women visiting this site.

But what about that 1%?

You know, the 1% that are going through a breakup AND pregnant?

I am going to admit that these cases are very rare but they do exist. Whats worse is the fact that there isn’t really much good information out there on the internet teaching women what to do if they find themselves in these rare circumstances. I plan on changing that with this page.

For the first time on Ex Boyfriend Recovery I am going to be talking about how to approach getting an ex boyfriend back if you find yourself pregnant with his child.

First things first though, I need to make sure your priorities are right.

Your Unborn Child Vs. Your Ex Boyfriend

man vs toddler

Lets get something straight here, the most important thing in your life right now isn’t your ex boyfriend, it’s your child.

The second you found out that you were about to become a mother the game completely changed. You see, before you were pregnant your ex boyfriend was probably priority number one. You would have done anything for him.

How do I know that?

Well, you are pregnant with his child and you came to this page because despite him leaving you, at arguably the most important time of your life, you still want him back.

However, now that you are going to be a mother your boyfriend just became priority number two.

Yes, I know this is a page designed to help you get your ex boyfriend back (and don’t worry I am going to go above and beyond when it comes to that) but let me tell you something about “the love of your life.”

A real man wouldn’t have left you during this fragile time in your life. A real man would have stuck around for HIS child. A real man would have stepped up and found a way to take care of you AND his child. Unfortunately for you though, your ex boyfriend is not a real man.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you want him back. He is the father of your unborn child and you want your family to be complete. Besides, it just doesn’t seem complete without him in the picture, right?

I totally get that and I promise you that I am going to impart as much wisdom as I possibly can on you to make sure you can achieve that goal. However, I want to ask you a question first,

Is your ex boyfriend even worth the effort to try to get back?

I already know your answer is going to be a resounding YES. However, you are answering from a place of extreme grief (your ex just left you) and I probably have a much more logical view of the situation than you do.

I would say that there is a scenario I can see where he is worth the effort to get back.

What is that scenario?

Only if he can add substantial value to you and your child’s life.

Now, if I were to tell you to pick out the most important word in that phrase what do you think it would be?

If you guessed,


Then you would be right.

What do I mean when I say that in order for your ex to even be worth trying to get back he has to add substantial value to you and your child’s life?

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that your ex has a really secure well paying job, a stable house and you know for a fact that he has the ability to support you emotionally. Well, in this case that would mean your ex can bring a lot to the table and would probably be worth getting back.

Wait… But Does Me Wanting An Ex Boyfriend Back Because Of His Job Make Me A Gold Digger?

If you wanted a man only because of his money then yes that does make you a gold digger.

However, it actually makes me angry when men throw around the gold digger accusation to women wanting money/help to support a child. The truth is that if a man gets a woman pregnant he has an obligation to step up and help.

Call me old fashioned but I believe that once you and another human being create a child together you can’t be selfish anymore. In fact, you have to become so selfless that you’d be willing to do anything to make sure that, that child can have a happy and healthy life.

Now, obviously you should want to get your ex boyfriend back for a lot more than just his financial obligation. He is the father or your child and without him your family is not complete. I know for a fact that you love him very much and I know that you feel he can be there for you emotionally.

However, the main point of me writing this section was this.

If it comes down to it, your child is going to take top priority over your ex.

Never forget that.

The “My Life Is Over” Mindset

life is over

In my experience there are two types of reactions men can have when they learn they are going to be a father for the first time.

  1. Some men will be extremely excited and dedicate the rest of their lives to making sure that they can do everything in their power to create a stable environment for their child.
  2. The other portion of men adopt the, “My life is completely over” mindset.

Unfortunately, since you are on this page it seems that your ex adopted the “my life is over” type of thinking.

So, what is this type of thinking and how does it apply to your relationship with your boyfriend?

I am glad you asked.

What Is The “My Life Is Over” Mindset?

There is an interesting story to how I came up with the idea of this mindset. Around three years ago a friend of mine had a pregnancy scare with his girlfriend. Now, at the time I was extremely close to this friend so I was the first person he called to vent to about the situation.

Him: “I don’t know what to do. She’s late and she’s never late.”

Me: “Give it some time. You told me there is still some time for her to have her period right?”

Him: “Ya… but what if she doesn’t? My life will be over. I can’t go out and have fun anymore…”

Thus, the “my life is over” mindset was born.

Some men are frightened to death of having a child because they know that the second that, that child comes into the world they can’t be that selfish anymore. They know that they are going to have to dedicate time and energy to the child and that threatens the freedom they have of running around and having fun.

Gone are the nights where they can stay out all night and get drunk with their friends.

Gone are the nights where they can jump from girl to girl having one night stand after one night stand (though some pathetic guys still do this.)

My point is simple, in these men’s minds the life that they have grown accustomed to living is over. Here is the most ironic part of the whole situation though. If your ex boyfriend has adopted this “my life is over” mindset he isn’t thinking too clearly.

The truth is that his life isn’t over it is just going to change.

The only constant in life is change and adding a baby into the mix whether he is with you or not is going to change his life. This is a fact that he will eventually accept but it just may take some time before he has this epiphany.

One of my favorite examples to cite when it comes to this mindset came from another friend of mine.

In fact, there is a really interesting story to this one as well.

A Real Life Case Study Of A Woman Who Got Her Ex Back While Pregnant

harry potter pregnant

(Yes, apparantely Harry Potter got pregnant… and I think Ron or Malfoy is the father…) ”

Believe it or not but the very first person who I helped get her ex boyfriend back was a woman who was pregnant.

The woman was actually a friend I had met in college. She ended up meeting a guy, falling in love and then he broke up with her which I am sure a lot of you can relate to.

The major twist here happened when she found out she was pregnant with his child literally a day after the breakup occurred. Of course, when she told her ex boyfriend that he was the father he adopted the, “my life is over,” mindset and ran off to try to preserve the life he had grown accustomed to.

My friend, the woman, was obviously devastated. The man who she fell in love with had rejected her, she had nowhere to go and on top of everything she was pregnant and broke.

Now, I don’t know about you but that is a really bad situation to be in.

Of course, when all of this happened the two of us hadn’t really talked in months. So, when I was goofing off on Facebook one day I was surprised to receive a personal message from her. We got to talking and she filled me in on everything that had been going on in her life.

She told me about how she fell in love, how he broke up with her, how she was now pregnant with his child and how she was still deeply in love with him.

The whole story made me feel bad to be honest and I kind of wanted to help her out.

So, at first I provided some support by listening to her situation and offering helpful tidbits of information here and there which she would sometimes take. However, eventually things had gotten so bad between her and her ex boyfriend that it didn’t seem like anything would work.

That’s when I decided I was going to do some research on how most people typically approach a situation where they are trying to get their ex boyfriends back. Through my research I learned a lot about male psychology, how to properly build attraction and the importance of timing.

However, I would have to say that the most useful piece of advice I learned was the no contact rule.

It was the first time I had ever heard of something where you essentially cut someone out for a certain period of time in order to make them realize how important they are to you. So, I suggested that my friend should try this on her ex. Of course, some modifications had to be made to a strict NC since she was pregnant and he had every right to know what was going on with his child.

So, the way she approached the situation was simple.

Any time where there was a checkup or any other important information regarding the baby she would be allowed to message or talk to him on the phone. Other than that however, she was strict about her NC and didn’t break it.

At first, it didn’t seem like it was working too well because she missed him more than she had ever missed anyone in her life before. However, slowly but surely the no contact rule began to work its magic as he started getting antsy and wondering why she wasn’t begging for him back anymore.

Perhaps I should hit the pause button and explain the timing of how this all went down.

My friend didn’t get into contact with me until she was already a month pregnant. Four months after she had got into contact with me I simply listened to her vent and provided the necessary,

“It’s going to be ok’s.”


“It’s all going to work out in the end’s.”

as I could to her.

Around the start of month six of her pregnancy I decided to suggest that she try out the no contact rule and she complied.

She did NC (in the way I described above) for about a month and a half before it fully worked and her ex wanted her back. Yes, about midway through month seven of her pregnancy her ex boyfriend accompanied her to a checkup for the baby and they got back together the very next day.

I guess the question you are wondering is why?

What was it that she did that made him want to get back with her?

Why He Went Back To Her

im back

I believe there are a number of reasons that he went back to her.

I already taught you about the “my life is over” mindset and her ex definitely had some of that. Rather than accepting that his life was about to change he decided to run away from this fact and try to preserve the lifestyle he was so used to living. Of course, seven months after my friend told him the big news that she was pregnant he had some time to let reality set in and he began to realize that running away from his unborn child is not the right way to do things.

I have always found it interesting that men who get this MLIO (my life is over) mindset tend to have their hearts in the right place.

Now, that doesn’t excuse them for their pathetic actions of bailing but on some subconscious level they know that the second that, that child enters the world they are going to have to step up and act like a man. They know that they can’t be selfish anymore but rather selfless.

The idea that their life is over stems from this fact.

Of course, some men don’t come to this realization right away and that is where the no contact rule comes in, especially in this case.

What were some of the rules that my friend implemented when she was pregnant when it came to the no contact rule?

Well, she obviously wouldn’t contact him. However, when she went in for a checkup she felt he was entitled to know what was going on with his child so she would break NC then. Of course, she was short with him in those instances and any time he would try to steer the conversation to a topic other than their child she simply wouldn’t respond.

This was a massive 180 from the beginning of their breakup when she practically begged for him back and who can blame her?

She just found out she was pregnant. She had never felt more alone in her life and she was in love with him.

Her ex was just like most men in that he loved admiration. Any time she would beg for him back or plead for him to reconsider he kind of liked it. It made him feel wanted. It made him feel like he was powerful since he had a girl wanting him on this deep level.

Of course, when you fast forward seven months later the dynamic had changed when she blocked him out.

For the longest time he was used to her begging, used to her trying to reason with him and then all of a sudden it all stopped. The begging stopped, the reconsideration requests stopped, it all just stopped. He no longer felt wanted. He no longer felt needed.

This singular act of the no contact rule served as a wake up call for him that made him realize what a mistake he had made in leaving her and his child in the first place.

The Game Plan For Getting An Ex Back While Pregnant

according to plan

We are going to take a page out of my friends book in how she got her ex back when we look at how to get yours back. Of course, it has been years since my friends situation unfolded and I am a bit more crafty now when it comes to exes so I have new insight and advice for you to implement on top of what she did.

Here’s a brief overview of what you should do,

  • Modified NC
  • Building Attraction
  • Inviting To Checkups0

As always, I am going to be covering each of these steps in-depth.

The No Contact Rule During Pregnancy


Breakups tend to put people in a place where they feel highly emotional. Of course, pregnancy seems to do that to women too. So, when you couple the two together you are probably going to experience emotional pain like no other. This emotional pain is going to make doing the no contact rule extremely challenging.


I would say that a good 80% of women who visit this site and attempt the no contact rule end up failing it. Well, those 80% of women aren’t pregnant. So, if they are having such a rough time with no contact how do you think you are going to fare when you add in things like pregnancy hormones?

What I am about to say now is probably the most important piece of information you will find on this page.

Under no circumstances can you stray from NC in this case.


Because NC on a man who has left you while you are pregnant seems to have an increased effect since he is going to assume that you are going to beg for him back.

Of course, we are going to have to modify the no contact rule a little bit since you are pregnant and your ex does have a right to know what is going on.

Modification 1- If He Asks Anything About The Baby

I am going to leave this one up to you.

If you are in the middle of the no contact rule and he asks you something about the baby you are allowed to respond and talk to him about his inquiry. Of course, I do want to point out that if he shifts the focus to anything other than your child you are not to respond to him.

If I was in your position though the only time I would talk to him about the baby is if I were to volunteer the information myself.

Look, the thing to remember here is that these rules only apply for the time during the NC rule. After the NC rule you can go back to normal.

Modification 2- Volunteering Information On Checkups

As I am sure you have noticed one of the major sections on this page has to do with how to handle the checkups you get when you are pregnant. Well, during the NC rule you aren’t supposed to invite him to the checkups. Rather you are supposed to go to the checkup yourself and then volunteer the information to him after the fact.


Because this paints you in an independent light and should make him realize what he is missing out on.

Will it make him angry?


But you know what?

He has no right to be angry when he is the one who left. This is what he misses out on when he leaves so make sure you make him realize that.

Get the Fairy Tale Feeling Back Again With Our Step By Step Guide To Getting Your Ex Back

Learn More

Building Attraction After The No Contact Rule

After the no contact rule is up then that’s when you should start building some attraction in your ex boyfriend.

What is the best way to do this?

The truth is that it’s a little too long to go into here. So, what I have done is compiled a list of the best guides I have written on Ex Boyfriend Recovery for building attraction. Check them out below,

  • Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO– My E-Book that covers exactly what to do, what to say and how to act in order to get your ex boyfriend back in pretty much any situation you can think of.
  • How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back– The very first guide I ever wrote for this site that talks a lot about rebuilding attraction in your ex boyfriend.
  • How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Love You Again– An excellent guide that focuses ONLY on how to build attraction in your ex boyfriend.
  • Get An Ex To Chase You– Another excellent guide that focuses on what you need to do if you want a man to chase after you (which can be helpful in your case.)

I know me linking to those pages is kind of weak and you probably want me to write something long and in-depth on how to build attraction in your ex but the truth is that those pages are excellent at teaching you how to do it. Besides, we have another very important issue to cover, how to handle checkups.

The Invitation To Pregnancy Checkups


One of the smartest things that I feel my friend did when she was trying to get her ex boyfriend back was the fact that she would invite him to her checkups.

I actually remember she would tell me how excited she was to see him during these checkups. She even compared it to a date once.

Now, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but one of the biggest advantages to being pregnant and trying to get your ex boyfriend back is that you can use these checkups as a way to get him on your own version of a mini date. I know that sounds a little weird but hear me out.

When you go on a date with someone the main objective is to get that person to feel a connection with you. Generally speaking if you don’t feel a connection with that person you aren’t going to go on another date with that person. Now, let me ask you something.

What can make two human beings more connected than going to checkup and checking on a baby that is essentially made from them?

I dare you to find an activity that can match the level of connection that something like that can.

What you want to be doing is using these checkups as a way to slowly advance things and take advantage of your opportunities.

A Final Word

I don’t want to end on a bummer but I feel this is important to mention.

It’s not out of the realm of possibility that even if you do everything right, if you hit all the right emotional buttons within your ex you still may not get him back. This is another human being we are talking about here and as much as you may wish you had the ability to mind control him you can’t.

I don’t want this to discourage you and let you think that your dating life is over forever, it’s not.

The truth of the matter is that a man who leaves you during a time when you are pregnant is pathetic. No excuse can be made for that.

I know it sounds cliche but there are men out there who would be more than happy to have a beautiful woman with a child. So, if your ex can’t see you for the incredible person that you are then you can find a man who knows your value and who will treat you right.

307 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant”

  1. Avatar


    June 5, 2019 at 7:22 pm

    I’m 31yrs old from the UK. I was with my bf (also 31yrs old) for nearly 5 years when we broke up. We had a very loving relationship and I would say he was my soulmate until I just didn’t feel that way anymore. It was a turbulent end, I left him and broke his heart, we got back together but then he eventually left me and broke my heart a few months later for a much younger rebound. It was all very text book behaviour on both parts. There were a number of issues such as cheating, trust and commitment on both sides. I do not portion blame and neither does he.
    We were apart for over 1 year. I went travelling through south east Asia, met people but felt no connections or love like my ex. I realised I had made a mistake but tried to move on.
    He had a relationship with this young girl for the months I was away. He then ended that relationship. A month after his breakup, we met at a mutual friends party. We ended up talking, texting and rekindling over months, slowly.
    I work away and travel with for my job. I was in New Zealand for a while working, he came to see me after the job finished and we went on an adventure for two weeks. This is where we officially decided to be together again after 4 months of texting, phoning and meeting up/dating.
    Some hard hitting truths came out about cheating on my part during the 4months as I didn’t want to walk into a dishonest relationship and have a fresh start. He seemed to take it well and forgave as the adventure in NZ suggested when we made it official. We have been together for 6 months and discussed children, coming off contraception and I thought we were on the same page. I fell pregnant straight away which was a surprise and shock but very welcome or so I thought. I’ve spent a lot of that 6months working away and we’ve both admitted it’s hard to build a connection. Trying to have a long distant relationship over the phone while I work away seems to have driven him away. He says he feels no connection to me (or our baby). He says he felt like it before the pregnancy and wouldn’t even have tried if I wasn’t pregnant. He says he doesn’t love me or feel the same as before. I should mention that I was under no illusion that it would be the same as before but I now think he did. I feel bewildered but actually his behaviour towards me since finding out about the pregnancy had been quite shocking and awful but I’ve been making excuses for him. He says he feels the way he did when I was working away in America, where the cheating on my part happened.
    I feel there have been times when we have been disconnected on a much worse scale but he keeps bringing up America which makes me wonder if this is a delayed reaction to the cheating? Either way he has left me at 15 weeks pregnant and although I’m devastated I don’t have time to be broken. My priorities have changed, I genuinely thought he would never leave me alone pregnant. I should mention one of the reasons we broke up was so that I didn’t want children and made that clear at the start of the relationship, he has always wanted this. He always wanted a family and he’s left me very confused.
    I started no contact as soon as he broke up with me. Ive not heard from him. Is there any point in trying, should I just move on and focus on being a happy single mum? I’m not even sure I want someone by my side that can just jump ship like that.
    Kind regards,

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 5, 2019 at 9:51 pm

      Hi Siob’s….so I think No Contact is the right move, but your focus should be on your ongoing emotional/physical health and recovery. Later you will have time to reassess whether you want him in your life.

  2. Avatar


    February 13, 2019 at 11:01 am

    I have been going through a rough time with my now ex for a couple weeks he just said he needed time and space and that he would maybe want to work on things. At other times he has told me he is done and he was going to move out and he has no feelings left for me. I discovered I was pregnant and told him. Nothing has changed for him emotionally but he said he will stay as I can’t afford our house. alone. I’ve realized that he does need time and space and begging or rationalizing won’t change his mind. How do I give him this space while he is still living with me? Are my odds better bc he hasn’t left and wants to be there for this child?

  3. Avatar


    February 4, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    It’s been a month since I broke up with him, I am 7 months pregnant. I was jealous, and now I don’t know if he has someone or no, he said he didn’t have but kinda seems like he has. A lot of fighting happened after a break up too, a was so desperate and needy. He said he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, don’t even text him if it’s not about the baby, but sometimes he act like he care… he says he feel so much pain about us, he wanted to be a family so bad, I know that. He also said he will contact me, when he feels the time is right. I am so confused.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 4, 2019 at 5:16 pm

      Hi Elisa! I see you have a lot going on in your life. What is most important is you physical and emotional health going forward. Yes, guys can be confusing. It could be all of what is going on is too much for him to process and he is some mode of avoidance or denial. Have you considered NC. Are you following my eBook/Program guidelines? Remember, its your personal recovery and healing that is most important right now.

  4. Avatar


    December 1, 2018 at 2:52 am

    Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years and have a 2.5 year old daughter together.
    I used your system back in February to get my ex boyfriend back. We had a horrible break up in late January and I was for sure he would never come back. I did everything you said and in 6 weeks he was back and better than ever. Fast forward to the present, we basically planned baby number two and we’re both excited. I caught him cheating with multiple women when I was 8 weeks pregnant and in the heat of the argument gave him an ultimatum, his family or the women. He chose himself. I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant and he still acts like he’s mad at me. I just started the No contact rule again yesterday and was planning on going for 45 days this time. I know I have some healing to do because if I feel guilty about someone cheating on me, I need to self evaluate. He said he does still love me and honestly I want our family back. Do you think it’s worth a shot.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 2, 2018 at 2:39 am

      Hi Amber…I love it when you said you know you have some healing to do. You do and you can and will. I get into all that in my Program.

  5. Avatar


    December 1, 2018 at 1:33 am

    Pregnant and boyfriend left two weeks ago.

    We have been friends for over two years and in the last six months we dated, he supposedly has loved me and wanted to date me all this time…or at least a good portion of it.

    I have two kids from my previous marriage (ending 5 years ago) and he has 3 from his (ended 4 years ago) neither of us wanted or planned for more kids. And I was on birth control. We had some rough issues we worked out because we see things differently, but we always managed to “talk them through in the End” (his exact words)
    I considered abortion and he said he’d support me either way, while I tried to come to a conclusion as a couple and get feedback, he always just said he’d support me. However he began “taking care of me, making sure I was good to go when I wasn’t feeling well and so on… I began to get the feeling he almost wanted me to keep it and I kind of wanted to as well. So I kept it. A week After I came to my decision he left me, Came home (he’s been living with me for over 3 months now) got his things and said “he didn’t feel he could talk to me and we shouldn’t be together”
    I was angry at first and my reaction was hurt because those were the first words out of his mouth. So I did cut him off by saying “seriously?! I can’t believe this is happening! Is it because I decided to keep the baby?!” And he said “see that’s my point you don’t let me talk” and started packing his things and left, it was emotional. He didn’t talk to me for the rest of the weekend, but Came back over Monday night, we talked, then Tuesday night he helped me change the break pads on my car and we talked again that evening and Wednesday. Thursday night on thanksgiving we talked again, I felt we were getting somewhere and he even mentioned how he could tell I was giving him his space and how he could see I legit wanted to hear what he had to say IN our relationship. I always tried to get him to talk, I do care, but at the same time how can I be for someone the way they need if they don’t communicate at times what they need? I felt he ever communicated with me and had given up and now post break up he was beginning to talk. Well Thursday night we end up cuddling and having sex, and this was after four straight evening of talking about our relationship and seeming to have talked through things.
    Friday he treated me like a “boyfriend” making sure I got hone, checking in with me at work, and even apologizing that his reply was delayed due to being so busy at work. Then, Saturday he had had plans to go see his friends over the weekend, so I let it go thinking he needed his space and he’d already made plans. I felt we were in a good place and I wasn’t needing immediate attention and our relationship was working itself out. But I heard nothing over the weekend. By Monday evening I was confused and questioning if we were in no contact zone now and simply exes, I didn’t want to think he was using me Thursday night cause we’ve always were friends prior to dating and I don’t like thinking negatively of him, I’ve tried to understand. Then Monday I got a little worked up and simply asked “so I’m confused, are you ignoring me now?”
    He apologized and said he’d come home late from his weekend, had fallen asleep and was slammed all Monday at work (he’s a UPS drive and the holidays have made for longer days) I was kind of hurt being put on the shelf all weekend and so I simply replied I was wanting to get in contact with him. The next day he asked “is everything okay”
    I was too hurt by then and never bothered replying.
    Again I’m pregnant, I’m high risk too, even had something been wrong the night before he didn’t bother to respond until the next day after not reaching out the whole weekend, i kind of felt like it was pointless to matter to him since I clearly don’t.
    That response was Tuesday. Then Wednesday afternoon (next day) I texted him a simple head’s up on my ultrasound date which he’d voiced he’d wanted to know. He replied saying thank you and asking for directions to the place. I sent him the address and that was it.

    I am so confused. Is it time to let him go, or keep trying to get him to talk to me, I felt we were at %90 a good place after our talks last week and his treatment of me (even before the sex – which I figure now was a mistake) but it felt like it was going in a good direction.
    Now he’s MIA and I guess we are going strangers/ex’a route?
    Do I just simply enforce the no contact rule on my own? Our last good conversation Thursday night he told me he appreciated me giving him his space and he knows we need to talk and how he’s written everything down and just needed time to clear his head, but now it feels he’s running. I don’t know what to do, and it’s now Friday – as in 8 days later. I haven’t officially even seen him for over a week now (last night)
    I don’t know what to do.
    And if I enforce no contact now, should I change my appointment time and not let him know? Or just wing it and see if he shows up?
    Last Thursday he was going to pick me up and we were going to go together, from what I understood in his text, he’s now wanting the address and is meeting me there? I don’t even know what to think anymore. I’m scared to ask or pressure him cause it’s like he shuts down more everytime I have or i feel i steer the conversations. While I love and miss him and want what we had back, I don’t want to talk him Into being with me. I don’t want to control the outcome of the conversation either. Despite our good conversations last week ( no fighting, hearing each other out, letting the other talk and truly having good conversation) it seemed to just give him more to think about. I don’t want to lose him but am willing to if he feels he’d rather be single and doesn’t even miss me. The silent treatment now certainly makes me feel he doesn’t. Please help me. I’m 12 weeks tomorrow and now I don’t even know how to approach this pregnancy? Completely alone mindset? And if so, while he has a right to be there as the father, i almost am afraid if we are broke up his presence at the appointments will be more stressful than helpful. I need direction.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 2, 2018 at 2:53 am

      Hi JD12!

      So I see heck of a lot is going on and really don’t feel I do you justice with my short reply….which I will offer up here in bit…but consider picking up my 485 page Flagship product, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as you can get a lot more “me” in my ebook than you can here! I would advise against changing your appointment time as that is important.

  6. Avatar


    November 19, 2018 at 12:36 pm

    Hi. I need help. Currently I’m 18 weeks pregnant and want my ex back or at least for us to be cordial. We were together for a year and a half, and I got pregnant on birth control. My ex and I never had heated arguments, our relationship was pretty peaceful, relaxing and understanding for the most part. Around September I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant.. I was hurt and upset that I got pregnant on birth control ( never missed a pill). A few days later I told my boyfriend (well ex now) that I was pregnant. I struggled with telling him because I knew we weren’t stable enough. We were both sleeping on our parents couches and I was in college getting my Bachelors. He told me that he wasn’t stable enough for a baby right now, but that he wasn’t upset. I said okay and left it at that. Within this same few days I found out he was texting other girls.. Fast forward to 3 days later I start to feel insecure so I text him to let him know that I know he was talking to other girls and that he was wrong. We started to argue and in the argument I let him know I was keeping the baby. He said I was trying to trap him, but he didn’t say that when I told him I was pregnant. We both said some things we didn’t mean like I hate you, etc. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve tried to talk to him. First he’d just be mean, then he’d just say he has nothing to say to me. So I stopped trying. Recently I sent him a picture of the baby (ultrasound) and he saw it but didn’t respond. He doesn’t want to hear my side, it’s not like I wanted this to happen but since it did I’ve been preparing myself to become a parent. I lived in California, then moved to Georgia due to dealing with the stressful environment and being in and out the hospital (which he doesn’t know). I love him, but I love my child more. I still want to be with him. I’m picking out names and everything else because he can’t communicate and I can’t stress it too much because I’m tired of being in the hospital. Will he ever come around? Why is he so upset? What can I do? We haven’t had a civil conversation since we broke up. BTW hes 26 and I’m 24.

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    October 26, 2018 at 9:55 pm

    Hey. My ex and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. We were together for 5 years and have a two year old son together. I am currently 31 weeks pregnant and he says he doesn’t love me anymore and a part of it is because he doesn’t want another baby. Whenever I see him, though, he hugs me and kisses me and cuddles me but when our son is around or when he is talking to his mom he says that we won’t ever get back together because things that broke us up will never change. He says he just cuddles me and does all this because he feels bad for me. I don’t believe him when he says he doesn’t love me and I know in my chest he’ll come back after the baby is here. He says he doesn’t care who I talk to but went on my Snapchat and told me “You and so-and-so go be happy”. He said he has met someone and she makes him very happy. Please help

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 26, 2018 at 11:47 pm

      Hi Megan!

      5 years counts for a lot and I think that could help as traction gets formed when two people have that kind of history left. Its important though right now that you get some support from family and friends. Right now your focus should be on your personal healing and being emotionally and physically healthy.

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    September 30, 2018 at 12:46 pm

    Hi Chris, I’m in a tricky situation and I need your guidance! I was seeing a man for about a month and we really enjoyed each other’s company but when he moved back home interstate I realised that I was unexpectedly 5 weeks pregnant. Thankfully my work travels me to where he lives fairly often and I was able to tell him face to face what had happened. At first he took it really well and our conversation was calm and relaxed. After he’d had time to process everything though he was really angry about it and texted me the next day saying that he doesn’t like kids and that keeping it is the worst decision I’ll ever make. I let him cool down and texted back 3 days later to let him know that it was a massive bomb to drop and that his thoughts are justified and that it’s an immense thing to wrap your head around but that I’m firm in my decision. He responded that I’m not capable of raising a child and that he didn’t want anything to do with it but he’d be willing to chat when I’m in town again next weekend. Can you help me? I don’t want anything from this man just respect and a chance for our child to know their dad free of conflict. What should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 30, 2018 at 4:30 pm

      Hi Daniele!

      So a lot going on in your life and it sounds like your guy will benefit by having time to process things. All first time parents are novices when it comes to raising a child. Keeping the communication channel open is a good thing. Just take it slow and he will come to see that its all going to be fine.

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    September 17, 2018 at 10:18 am

    So. Me and my (now ex) partner have been together for 3 years. He had told me in the past that he doesn’t not want anymore children (there is a 21 year age gap and he already has two grown children) but now I am 7 weeks pregnant. I discovered I was pregnant on the Friday and told him on the Sunday evening. However as soon as I told him he was 100% against having the baby. We spent a few hours apart so we could both digest what had happened. When I returned he told me that the relationship was over as he didn’t want to be a dad again. Things got quite heated and some awful things were said from both parties so I packed a bag and left for my parents house. A few hours later I received a text from him to say that he doesn’t know how we got to this point or how things got so bad and he just wanted to me to know how much he loves me but that was it. Not apology or come home or I don’t want to break up. Do you think there is any chance of us sorting things out? We have had no contact since.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 9:22 pm

      Hi Catherine!

      I know all of this is hard to process and he definitely handled it very poorly and selfishly on his end. I think you continue with NC and reach out to your support system of family and friends. What is important going forward is your emotional and physical health. I wrote a 247 page ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book” that deals with this entire Principle and also gets deeply into the recovery activities you can embrace.

  10. Avatar


    September 3, 2018 at 9:48 pm

    So my person and I broke up on the 10th of Aug. I’ve known him since I was 15. I’m now 22 and 7 months pregnant. I really Miss him so much. On the 14 he apologize to me. Then on the 25 he ask if I loved him anymore because it doesnt seem like it when we text. I told him I still love him and miss my bestfriend. He said he miss his best friend too. So then on the 28th I was rereading our messages and on the app we use I pressed one of the suggestion text by mistake and it said “okay baby” at like 3am so at 6 am he text and asked was i talking to someone else and I told him no I’m 7 months pregnant with his Child why would I talk to someone else. So I asked him does he love me anymore he said “I do love you never stop” and we kept texting but he was at work and had to do a round and he will text me later I said “okay Old man” I use too call him that since we started dating. He sent the heart eyes emoji. How happy I was lol. He did text me later saying “I still do love you punk just to let you know but ttyl” but i took a little to reply and he said “I guess you don’t it’s ok punk” but i told him ” I love you too dont think I dont.  Then on the 30th we was texting and I told him I seen one of my old friends that was there when we first meet when I was 15 so he ask whos car was I driving I told him my step dads. He was like see you dont need me and ect. But I told him I had to baby sit my little sis and asked why he said that . anyways make a long story short I told him he was Important to me and he said I was important to him too. So need help because I want my boy friend back

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 4, 2018 at 9:35 pm

      Probably best you take a look at my home page and review some of the tools and resources I have. Helpful to have an ex recovery plan.

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    September 3, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    Please help. Last April, I met this guy. He’s pretty great, we immediately hit it off. We just bond and connect on every level, its amazing. We start hanging out…always late (I know) this goes on for a year. He knows my 3 year old son, they adore each other, things with us are pretty great, we never even so much as disagreed but the one problem that is rarely brought up, no one knows I exist. He’s Muslim, I’m not. He always said that he loved me and wanted to be with me he just needed the time to be right to break it to his family. And he seemed so sincere yet it didn’t happen until this August when I was already 4 months pregnant. When he found out he was scared but was still really great and supportive, always checked on me and made sure I was ok then we went for the gender ultrasound and found out we were having a baby girl and he was even more happy. So happy he decided to tell his family. (Also let me add I do know how family well, I worked for them they just didn’t know we had anything going on.) So he tells his parents and 2 younger siblings and they take it pretty well. He says he’s so relieved to finally get it off of his chest and seems happy in every other aspect. The next day his older brother finds out. He’s furious. I dont know what he says to him but he messages me some really nasty things and says I ruined his brother’s life and he’s so miserable because of me. So naturally I text my guy asking what’s going on. He says what his brother says isn’t true BUT we need to talk. He’s not in love with me and leaves me. Through a text message. Ok. We have minimal contact for a few days, every time we talk, text, I’m crying, hurt. I can’t hide it if I wanted to so I suggest that maybe we only talk about the baby and he says he wants to be here for me too. Ok. He still talks to me, comes over, is supportive and the kind loving man that I’ve known…but he says he doesn’t think he knows what love really is, he’s never been in another relationship and is nervous about the baby and the thought of “forever”
    But he’s very happy about the baby. The other night he comes over and it was almost like things were back to normal if not better than before and hes been thinking a lot about living together and being together…meanwhile the older brother is texting and asking where he is. He tells him, then he tells him he needs to leave my house and is coming to get him. My guy says no and stays quite a bit longer. The next day I sense his texts are different but I can’t place what it is and the day after the same thing. The day after is my birthday and he had promised he would come over and I was really looking forward to spending time with him. It was getting late so I asked if he was coming and he said no. I was upset. I told him. And surprise! He’s not in love with me and isn’t coming. He now hasn’t responded to anything I’ve said and I’ve tried to cut contact with him but it’s hard. I’m so confused and hurt.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 3, 2018 at 7:49 pm

      Hi Kelsie!

      You ex seems to have a selfish approach to things right now. You certainly deserve to be treated far better. I think a healthy use of the no contact rule would benefit you. Pick up my program materials so you know how to properly implement it. Give yourself some time to heal and him time to realize how foolish he has been. All the lessons and tactics on what you should do to better your chances of getting him back (if you want him back) is covered in my 485 page book.

  12. Avatar


    August 4, 2018 at 5:56 pm

    Hi I’m 19, almost 3 months pregnant I left my ex because he hit me and it’s going to be 3 weeks and he already has a girlfriend we don’t talk unless it’s about the baby is there any chance that we’d ever get back together or is it done for good? The reason we broke up was because he hit me obviously and things werent all that great with us we would argue all the time

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 2:08 am

      Hi Isabel….your focus should be on “you” and your baby to come. Abuse is a serious matter and you should avoid any environment that is not safe for you.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 2:08 am

      Hi Isabel….your focus should be on “you” and your baby to come. Abuse is a serious matter and you should avoid any environment that is not safe for you.

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    May 5, 2018 at 5:44 pm

    So my person and i broke up on the 18 of April. He took my virginity when i was 15 and we grew apart. Started dating again in 2015 and then October of 2016 found out he cheated and got someone else pregnant. Btw Im 22 now he’s 24. Will be 25 a few days after my due date the 22 of Nov. When he found out I was pregnant he was so happy i know his whole family and they love me. They want to throw my baby shower and all. But my first ultra sound was the 16th of April and we planned on going he was taking me but then he said his mom had an housing appointment at the same time as my appointment. I will not lie I was pissed. And let him know it hurt my feelings Its a big moment. Any ways he got put out the next day and i was still mad and was not being his loveing supportive girl he needed at that time. So on the 18 i tryed to apologize to him but he didnt want to hear it and just told me to contact him about the baby. And it hurt me more so i told him there would no baby for him to worry about and that i was going to plan parenthood. The same day EMS came and took me to the ER due to my hurting and me falling out. I love him so much always have but now so much more I want him around so bad he use to hold my belly while i slept and talked to my belly I was so happy I have genetics testing on the 14th of may I told him he said okay so i hope he shows up but its and hour in between so OB at 11 then the genetics at 1:15 idk what we can do in that hour time help

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:17 pm

      Hi Des…your health and the baby’s health is top priority and I know you and your partner will team up to make that your joint priority. It sounds like anger got in between the two of you for a spell, but you both can rise above all that as you embrace the future. Find balance in your emotions as this period you are in certainly can be stressful, but it can be a most beautiful time as well with balance.

    2. Avatar


      May 5, 2018 at 11:25 pm

      He also did atmet he was scared at 1 point

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:54 pm

      That’s good. That means he is make an effort to confront some of his fears. Once you speak them, they are not so scary.

    4. Avatar


      May 5, 2018 at 11:23 pm

      Do I apply the no contact rule. I really want my family so bad. And that hour in between what do i do

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:53 pm

      I don’t think No contact is the right recipe for this situation. Just go slow with the communications so neither of your stumble and get each other upset again. There is a lot going on in your life…bring a child into the world is a sobering responsibility. So it can take time for some guys to process all this and when emotions are flying around, it makes it more difficult. The hour in between will be just fine. Talk about what it feels like to have life inside you.

  14. Avatar


    April 23, 2018 at 1:09 pm


    I have an interesting situation. I am 19 weeks pregnant and will be a first time single mom. I met the dad a month before getting pregnant (unplanned) thru a mutual friend and we were friends with benefits at the time. When I told him I was pregnant he was really scared…he’s 23 and I’m 27. Then he found out about someone else I was messing around with (before I knew I was pregnant) and he got jealous (said “but you’re my only special friend”) and told me he just wanted to be friends. It’s been 3 months since then and we meet up 1-2 times per month to update and catch up. A couple weeks ago I made the mistake of going to his place after catching up and he made a move. I pulled away at least 5 times, asking him what he was doing. His response was “sorry I’m being a guy”. I caved, cuz I’m horny af in my second trimester and now idk how I feel about that decision. We used to hang out and communicate so much more before he found out I was pregnant, like daily talking and seeing each other every week. Now it’s so much less and he bails on me all the time. It’s really starting to piss me off. He also hasn’t told any friends or family about the pregnancy. I’m scared he is going to be like this when the baby arrives and I need support. I don’t want my baby to be disappointed by his dad. I also don’t know what to expect for my relationship with the dad…should we continue trying to be friends? He’s made it clear he doesn’t want to be in a relationship (I can’t see us together either). But with all these hormones, I’m feeling like I might get attached or develop feelings. He is coming to my 20 week ultrasound this week (he asked about it), and I’m scared it might lead to ya hooking up again…Please help!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2018 at 9:07 pm

      Hi Courtney….first of all, congratulations. I think there are some positive here. Maybe the whole thing is a bit confusing and overwhelming to him. So perhaps we give him the benefit of the doubt. He seems to show efforts of being engaged and accepting responsibility. Honestly, neither of us really know if he will be there for you over the long run. Relationships can be hard enough, even without breakups and children coming into the picture. I think your primary focus should be on your own self healing and your physical healthy and the health of your child. Hormones are just a natural product of the cycle our bodies experience for any number of causes. I know feelings can get mixed up when we are having a “friends with benefits” situation. You both have your needs…physical and emotional. So its your call on what you want to do on the sexual side of things. The future is always moving. Sometimes it takes us to places we don’t anticipate. Maybe over time, he will have a change of heart. Or perhaps you will decide that you do not want to have any sexual interaction with him as it creates emotional difficulties. I don’t know. But its seems that the two of you will be connected in life in the future given he will be the father of your child so the pragmatic thing to do is seek to maintain a functional relationship. It does not have to involve sex if you don’t want it to. Over time, you will know what is best for you, and this what matters most.

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    April 16, 2018 at 3:44 pm

    Hey this is Aura me and my ex broke up yesterday, well things haven’t been going good in our relationship because of his trust issues after he found out that I cheated on him last year.. we been together for three years btw and were planning on our future anyway we had our biggest breakup yesterday whereby he literally said he was done and wants nothing to do with me and I told him that I don’t want us to separate because I am a week pregnant with his child but it didn’t seem to bother him he said he’ll just pay maintenance for the baby well the point is I don’t want him to be there financially I want my child to grow up with both her parents because I didn’t have that opportunity and I know how much it hurts.. but he seems so serious about this breakup. I haven’t spoken to him since yesterday I though perhaps I should not contact him for two weeks then go give him the results and sonars since he thinks perhaps I’m making up this pregnancy to get him back but no I’m actually pregnant

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 2:59 am

      Hi Aura. 3 years is a a good amount of time, as that builds traction. I think he is rolling thru some emotions and trying to figure things out. I agree No Contact would be useful to you and during that time, focus on YOU. This period should probably be more than 2 weeks. I think you should check out my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”or “The No Contact Rulebook”. Both of those are massive guide books that can give you some insights into how to proceed. You can learn more by going to my website’s Menu/Products link. It has much more advice there than I can offer in this setting. It helps to have a blueprint on how to proceed.

  16. Avatar


    April 14, 2018 at 12:37 am

    I have a long story. My ex and I were together for 22 months before breaking up. We were living together for 8 months. He has a 6 year old son from a previous marriage. I was 9 weeks pregnant when we broke up and we planned the pregnancy. His son has behavioral problems and his behaviors had gotten worse and worse as time went on. We had just started taking him to counseling (because I set it up) and the counselor stated that she thought he needed an inpatient evaluation to determine what is fully going on with him. She suggested that this take place if he has another incident of being aggressive towards himself and others. That same day that she told us this, his son (who was completely aware that I was pregnant with his sibling) attempted to attack my stomach where he knew the baby was to get back at me for taking a treat away from him that he got by lying to his father. I freaked out and said that we needed to follow the counselor’s advice and get him immediate intensive treatment. When it came time for the appointment with a crisis team almost 2 days later my ex told me that he was going to make sure that anyone was aware that he never saw his son attack me but only saw me attack his son (I pushed him down before he could make contact with my stomach). He told me that he was going to deal with the problem and that I had no say in anything. It was a very high stress situation and I guess that I was the one to break up with him. He packed a bag and moved him and his son out. Meanwhile I was also dealing with my mother needing to get major surgery to remove cancer the next week. I ended up moving out about a month after the incident happened. We never even really got a chance to talk about everything that happened when things calmed down. About a month and a half later I attempted to get my ex to speak to me about everything that happened (I was feeling like maybe if we could both understand where the other was coming from that we could attempt to fix things and get our family back together). But I was also still angry and hurt by what had happened and he kept saying that we can focus on the baby and that’s it. So of course I continued to try to get him to talk about us. And he would agree to talk and then blow me off. I invited him to two ultrasounds. The first one he never called or showed and then used his son as an excuse. The second one he texted and said he couldn’t come because of his son again. I have been no contact now for 3 weeks. I think that I just want to have some sort of civil but open relationship with him for the sake of our child that will be here in just over 4 months. The relationship was broken. It really was. He abuses alcohol and marijuana and it was a constant reason for our fighting. And because of his substance use he would also hide things and lie to me about going to the bar or obtaining the marijuana. So I know that I shouldn’t want him back but there is a small part of me that wants him to realize all of his mistakes, want to sober up for his family and want to try to fix things with us. What do you guys think?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 14, 2018 at 3:07 am

      Hi Chrissy…clearly a lot of things are going in your life. The tug or pull of an ex can be strong. It can sometimes even override the rationale, logical side of your mind. I think that is the part you should listen to more. Focus on your needs and the baby to come. Staying and being healthy physically and emotionally is important, particularly now. The good side of you want everything to be civil and that is a good goal to have, but don’t allow it to overshadow what you already know about your ex…his faults and the seemingly unhealthy environment that exists with him.

    2. Avatar


      April 14, 2018 at 12:52 pm

      Thanks Chris. It definitely hasn’t been easy. But I know that you’re right and I need to focus on myself and my baby.

  17. Avatar


    March 4, 2018 at 11:53 pm

    He broke up with me the day I found out and told him I was pregnant. He pretty much said he wants no contact until baby is born. I haven’t contacted him since then ( I was 7 weeks pregnant and I am now 8 months). He has 2 other children that I helped raised for 5 years and he doesn’t want my child and this NC rule doesn’t seem to be working because he has been quite since that day!

    Should I contact him after the baby is born? Or should I just give up? He left me broke, no place to stay, no food to eat – I remember being hungry crying for help and he simply ignored me. I’m OK now – God has been great but I’m still not sure if I should ever contact him again.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2018 at 10:48 am

      Hi Dineo,
      Actually that’s not an nc rule because he’s the one who asked you not to contact him and basically he ghosted you.. Do the diligence of letting him know about the baby’s arrival and the chance to be a father if he wants but move on from him..

  18. Avatar


    February 23, 2018 at 10:01 pm

    Hi my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago and said we will never ever get back together and its been almost two weeks now and I just found out I’m pregnant! What do I do? Should I tell him?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 10:37 am

      Hi Sarah,

      Yes, tell him..

  19. Avatar


    February 11, 2018 at 7:56 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me last week because he said his business needs to come first at the moment and he doesnt have the time to spend with me that I deserve. So I am 1 week into no contact but I’ve just found out I’m pregnant I’m so upset because I cannot keep it for medical reasons. Do I break the no contact to tell my ex or as I’m not keeping it keep silent about it x

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2018 at 1:05 pm

      Hi Bella,

      Yep, you should contact him.

  20. Avatar


    January 23, 2018 at 7:02 am

    Hi i am 7 months pregnant and my ex of 3 years up and left for a younger girl…he was so involved in both me and the baby and wanted everything with us and now i cant understand why he would all of a sudden choose a much younger girl. How do i go about getting him back?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2018 at 12:17 pm

      Hi Ashley,

      You can still try the advice above even if he’s with the other girl..

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