By EBR Team Member: Ashley

Today I have three quick lessons for you!

First, you should know that your ex boyfriend is liable to do all kinds of crazy things that will cause you to wonder if he still cares about you.  You might find yourself wandering around your house, bumping into walls in a daze as you reflect on your ex boyfriend’s latest shenanigans.

But when you boil it all down, what keeps you up all night is the fear your ex boyfriend might not want you anymore.  You may look about at all the clues and convince yourself that the signs point to him not wanting to be with you.

Well, let me just tell you not to give up on your ex quite just yet.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Could He Possibly Still Be Interested in Me?

So what’s the quick answer to your query of whether your ex still has feelings for you?

Are you ready for my quick expert answer!

It is very likely your ex boyfriend cares for you far more than he lets on and there are several signs to look for that may reveal whether he still holds on to that love you are so afraid has gone missing.

Now my next two lessons are not so earth shattering, though one of them is pretty darn useful to know!

Don’t take your vitamins after you’ve been eating almonds and don’t open those stupid LinkedIn emails.

OK, we don’t want to go nuts talking about nuts since we are on this topic of your ex boyfriend!  But the other tip is golden.

Don’t you just hate it when you get message like:

“Ashley, people have been checking out your profile.”


I keep my LinkedIn updated, but I rarely use it as a networking tool and I almost always drag and drop those right into the trash.  As a side note, sometimes I actually do feel if I could drag and drop my ex boyfriend in the trash for not showing enough that he cares about me, it would be so uplifting.

But I would settle for some clear signs he still has special feelings for me.

OK…I digressed!

So today I had to decide to open that stupid email and only to find my ex boyfriend’s face staring up at me from the screen.

There it was.

I had gone out of my way to avoid looking at any of his profiles since we split and I had been doing a damn good job of it, if I do say so myself.

Suddenly, hundreds of what-ifs and questions started swimming around my head. You know those silly thoughts that cross every girl’s mind when any reason rears its head after a breakup.

We don’t just jump to small conclusions either.

We follow them like rabbit trails to extremes, hoping for a sign or clue that our ex boyfriend realizes he still cares and loves us more then he even knows himself.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

How Can You Really Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Even Wants You Anymore?

I know he’s been acting like a complete jerk, but clearly this means he misses me, right?

Maybe he wants to get back together?

Would I even take him back if he did?

Thankfully, saner heads prevailed. I came to the conclusion that either he did it by mistake or he just saw that I got a new job and was just satiating his curiosity.

Either way, I had the option to delude myself into thinking it was something it wasn’t. I chose not to lie to myself. I am so much better off because of it.

I was trying to figure out a way to lead into this article when this happened, and I cannot think of a better illustration of the things men do after a breakup that just leave us going, “Huh?”

Allow me to elaborate.

After a break up, even if we’re the ones that did the breaking up, we will always be left wondering what’s going on in our ex boyfriend’s head.

I mean, no one wants to hear that their ex got over them without any problems what-so-ever. Pride’s a funny thing like that. It is the driving force behind so many of the situations I want to talk about today.

Hope is another major player in this case. In fact, if we were the dumpee, this curiosity is inflamed by some sort of hope that he will see reason and come running back, like being lost in the dessert and seeing mirages everywhere you turn.

So, here’s what I have decided to do.

I have put together a list of… let’s call them “behaviors” that men engage in after a breakup that make you wonder:

Is there a chance my ex boyfriend  stills loves and care about me?

It turns out, I have identified 9 signs that suggest the possibility that your ex still does want you.  Or maybe not.  Maybe he is just being his old self or his new, worse self and is jerking your chain.  We are going to find out!

Here are the 9 Signs that might reveal whether your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you.

  1. Drunk Texting
  2. Liking Your Pics And Then Removing You From Social Media
  3. Double Standards
  4. Completely Ignoring You
  5. Jealousy
  6. Being A Complete Jerk
  7. Jumping Into A New Relationship
  8. Staying Friends (Hoping For Benefits)
  9. Contacting You After You Asked For Space

And I am going to dissect these behaviors for you so we can actually answer that eternal question of,

Does my ex boyfriend not care about me and everything we had together anymore?

Let’s find out!

9 Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Might Still Care About You

I need to make something clear.  Just because your ex bf is showing some signs that he might not have given up on you and still wants you in his life, don’t lose sight of the reality that the after breakup period is well known for its shifting moods and attitudes.

One day your ex boyfriend rolls out of bed and finds that he is consumed with thoughts about you. He is convinced you are the one and can’t believe his stupidity of letting this relationship collapse.

Your ex boyfriend may be so convinced that he wants and needs you in every way possible, that he is desperate to make it up to you.   And if he doesn’t do something about it soon, he will go nuts.

So he reaches out to you.  Of course, you are still hurt and in his mind you don’t quite say all the right things that he dreamed up in his fantasy dream.  Suddenly, like a canon shot, his ego is deflated and his mood changes.  Now he cannot even imagine being with you ever again.

Such is the whipsaw ways in which your ex boyfriend’s emotions and feelings can get twisted beyond recognition.

So just know that reading signs is one thing.  Interpreting them correctly and drawing long lasting conclusions about what your ex’s behavior really reveals, well, that is a different thing altogether.

So let’s give it a try!

Sign #1: Your Ex boyfriend Instantly Decides in a Fit of Rage, Jealousy, or Undying Love That He Will  Drunk Text You

It’s two o’clock in the morning. Your phone dings that familiar “ding”.

You sleepily reach under your pillow and bring the blinding screen to your face.



They’re rapid fire and, for a grammar nazi like him, they’re a wreck.

He’s drunk.

You consider responding.

It’d be nice to sleep next to him again or even just be friends.

But then you think about last week when you got a similar stream of texts from him early in the morning, you answered trying to make sure he got home okay. Only for him to pass out mid text, leaving those annoying three little dots dancing on your screen.

You saw him at school the next day and dammit if he didn’t treat you worse than he did before.

Your Ex’s View Of How It All Went Down -“Hey I am not the bad guy here”

He and some of his guy friends went out to grab some beers and catch a game. His friend, Sam brought his girlfriend. They spent the entire time playing grab-ass and being sickeningly sweet.

His other friends picked up some girls from the bar before they left. He went to pay his tab and realized that he was going home alone.

He had been out of the dating game for a while now. Suddenly, he started thinking about those times when he didn’t have to feel this way. Walking out of the bar, his drunk brain said,

“We should tell her we miss her. That’s a nice thing to do. Maybe she’ll be nice back. We could maybe hook up this once.”

So he texted you.

And whether you answer, or you don’t, he will always wake up in the morning and remember the reasons the two of you split in the first place.

He’ll spend the next few days scolding himself for ever texting you and heaven forbid if you see him or try to reach out to him. In an effort to keep himself from doing it again, he’ll try to push you away by being mean.

Let me show you something.

I asked my bestie (also an ex) what kind of weird things he’d do after a break up.

Here’s a screenshot of that conversation,



Yes, I asked if I could share it with you guys.

What kind of monster do you think I am?

How to Deal With An Ex That Seems To Care About You But Is Drunk

Remind yourself when you get those texts, that if he can’t say it sober and during business hours (you know, when you’re awake), then it’s probably not worth hanging your hat on.

Men are impulsive and reactive. They will do whatever they can to make themselves feel better when they feel bad. That’s why there are so many middle aged men driving sports cars out there.

So your ex boyfriend is going to have to show you the same kind of caring interest when he is sober before you get all excited that the relationship could be coming back together.


Sign#2: Your Ex Bf Will Like Your Posts or Pics And Then Suddenly Remove You From Social Media

You posted some pictures of your fun weekend spent with and family.

And there it is again his name, among your notifications, like a beacon in the vast ocean that is birthday notifications and the 200 pictures of your cousin’s baby bump that all look almost friends identical. (We get it! You’re pregnant! We’re excited for you! Quit it already!)

Now you’re just sitting there staring at the screen.

“What does this even mean?”

A few days later you notice, by mere coincidence, (Of course, you weren’t stalking his page or anything, right!) that he’s not only unfriended you, but he’s blocked you!

“Seriously, what does this even mean?”

What Is Your Ex Boyfriend’ Side of The Story For Why He Blocked You on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram or whatever Social Media Account You Both Use?

This falls along the same lines as the drunk text. So, as he was scrolling down his feed he saw your picture. It was in all likeliness an impulse. You two were together and he probably liked a LOT of your pictures during that time.

Men assume everything means way more to us than it might. So assuming you will read into it, he did the only thing he knows will keep him from doing it again.

Remember, in these early days of the breakup, your ex boyfriend is a man of two minds.  Part of him wants to push you away.  Another part of him wants you, cares deeply for you, and is seriously questioning why he was so foolish.

Well, these two minds of your ex bf will often collide and so as a result of the fallout, things like this will happen.

So by his actions, your ex can shoot down any of your hope instantly by blocking you.  But don’t take it necessarily as a personal attack.  It could be your ex boyfriend just doesn’t have the will power to resist reaching out to you in some way.  But another part of him knows he needs to create some space to allow for some healing.

Now what you read into all this, just remind yourself that when your ex boyfriend decides to block you, he decision is often not entered into with a great deal of thought.  It is often impulsive.  So don’t put too much stock into it.

No matter what your ex does now, he’s sure to feel guilty or fear being attacked about it later.  So don’t get hung up on it.

How Do You Deal With His Blocking You of  Social Media Access To Him

Girl, come on.

It’s just a picture or a post online.

It’s not like he sent a gold crested eagle (Do those even exist? I think I made that up) delivering a message telling you he’s happy you had a good time last weekend.


He literally clicked one button out of habit.

Don’t get your panties in a bunch so say I!

Remember, your focus is to work on your own self recovery, not dwell on petty things he may end up doing.

Sign #3: Is Your Ex Boyfriend Showing a Double Standard When It Comes To Dating?

He started seeing someone right out of the gate. It took you a little longer to get your footing, so-to-speak. Now you’ve started talking to someone new.

You and your new guy see your ex at a party. He is casting glares and throwing a tantrum like it’s a personal affront to his very existence that you’d even consider moving on. Well, it looks like your little jealousy ploy (if that is what it is) is working.

Clearly he wants you back. Right? Why else wouldn’t he want you to move on?

Maybe you are WRONG!!

Your Ex Boyfriend’s Way of Reacting To You Dating

Your break up was inevitable. If he was dating someone new so soon, he was already scouting talent before he ever even considered breaking up with you.

But now, he sees you with guy number two and he finds himself having competitive thoughts.

“I’m taller than he is.”

“Does he have better calves than me?”

And yes he’s definitely thinking

“I bet I’m bigger.”

It’s not that he wants you to be his again. He just feels a little replaced. That’s okay. He was.

Everyone wants to feel special, and right now he’s just baffled that you could move on after him at all.
Is he not all that is man?

Now, I confess that sometimes his reaction could be one that is born out from a jealousy that traces back to him still having feelings for you. It could turn out after all that your e boyfriend really does do care.

*Cue beating on chest and territorial tribal dance*


How to Deal With an Ex Boyfriend who Melts Down for Perhaps Caring Too Much?


There’s nothing to deal with. He’s looking to get a response from you, some reassurance. In my opinion, he’s not necessarily deserving of it.

Dang it, now I’m going to be singing Sarah Bareilles’ “Love Song” for the rest of the day.

But it’s like she says, you should have to tell someone you love them just to make them feel better.

Imagine how your date, who actually likes you and chose to come to the party with you, will feel when you are suddenly trying to downplay your relationship to make your ex who was a butt head feel better. Isn’t that a little backwards?

But don’t go to the other extreme either. Don’t try to play up your relationship with your date to make your ex feel worse. Yes, we get it.

He was a jerk, but your new date doesn’t deserve to be a pawn either. If you can’t enjoy your date without reacting to your ex’s presence, perhaps you should relocate to an area away from him or perhaps simply suggest that you and your date go elsewhere, so you can actually enjoy your evening together.

Sign #4:  How Can An Ex Who Still Has Feelings For You – Completely Ignore You?

He completely cut you out after you split. He doesn’t respond to texts, phone calls, or anything. It’s like he disappeared of the face of the planet.

Didn’t the connection you forged mean anything at all? Did you just waste the last 3,4 5 months or years of your life?

All these things and more fly through your mind as you try to process what his big silent treatment really means.  It is natural to draw upon your worst fears when all communications with your ex boyfriend go right into the toilet.

If you are having them, it might resemble a train wreck as more conflict arises.  If your ex has not said or whispered a word to you will often take on all kinds of different meanings as you reflect on what has transpired.

Your Ex Boyfriend’ Side of the Story Is…

It’s easier for him to get over the relationship without you around, so he thinks.  Hence, he might delude himself for  awhile that you mean nothing to him.

But let me tell you, it’s not easy to simply shut down a relationship after you have been together for years.  Years of your ex bf caring about you with the two of you doing all kinds of things together.  Well, over time, that creates some traction within the relationship and its not an easy thing to extinguish.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. It is almost just as difficult to cut someone out of your life as it is to be cut out.

How to Deal With An Ex Boyfriend Who Shuts Down All Communications With You?

Take it as a sign that he, like you, is going through his own process of recovery.  He may feel he has little choice but stay away from you as that is what he may have been taught to do.  He might be over at my other website (that assists men in breakups) and is trying to put some space between you and he.

So don’t take your ex’s choice to cut you out of his daily communications as a bad thing.

And even if this is a true sign of what your ex is thinking then accept that reality and just know that perhaps one day the two of you will be in each other’s orbit again, but for now, take the space to let yourself get over it.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Step #5: Is Your Ex Trying His Best to Make You Jealous?

He dumped you, and now he’s acting like he was wronged, parading his exploits around in front of you.

“Is he really so heartless? Did I do something to deserve being treated this way?”

You think to yourself. … He can’t believe in me any more.  Should I ever believe that my ex boyfriend even once cared about me because how can a person do such a thing to one they love?

Your Man’s Side of the Story

There are lots of way this could be going down.  Your ex boyfriend might still have feelings for you and figures he is going to play the jealousy card to get in your head, make you come running.

Yeah.  Guys can be stupid.

That tactic more often makes his girlfriend even angrier as it can send her the opposite sign of what he intended.  She may come to believe that her ex boyfriend has fallen in love with another girl and is having sex with her and now everything has gotten much worse and is lost.

The ex could also be thinking….

“Man, I’ve been with the same woman for a long time and  I’m just glad to know that other women still exist and are interested in me!”

Seriously though, even if he dumped you, it still hurts and no matter how positive you are about reading into his moves, jealousy can have some explosive blow back.

He’s numbing the pain with one of the three things that preside over anything else for a man, Sex. (The other two are food and survival.)

How to Deal With An Ex Bf Who is Hooking Up With a New Girl

Okay, here’s what you’re going to do.

Be happy for him. He’s found a way to satiate the pain of the split.

Go him!

OK.  I realize that approach is going to work with only a small percentage of you ladies out there.  In reading the signs, be sure you don’t panic and read in more than what is actually happening.  It’s true, men will date other girls to show you that he is still attractive and to get your attention.

It’s not always because he doesn’t want you anymore or is sick of you.  Just take this development with the realization that sometimes your ex boyfriend has to learn his lessons the hard way.  This could be a rebound relationship and that signs may be pointing at a time in the near future where he will realize that you and he were a much better fit than he ever realized.

That is a possibility.  Not a certainty.  But you need to give the process time to play out and time for you to work on your on attraction building tactics.

It may be a bone headed way to go about showing you he still likes you, but hey, at least he’s not doing anything too crazy, like quitting his job and going to live among the tribes in Africa.

Sign #6: Is Your Ex Boyfriend Starting To Be a Compete Jerk to You

You two run in the same circles. You actually see each other quite a bit, except something has changed. Not just that you two aren’t a couple any more. He’s different.

He’s cold and mean. He throws shade at you every chance he gets. He even calls you names, not just to you but to his friends.

Even after you two split up, you’ve been completely civil and nice to him. What could have prompted this kind of treatment?

Your Ex’s Reasoning For Why He Can’t Behave Himself

He probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing this. It’s part of that territorial thing we were talking about before. It’s like having a hair hanging down tickling your arm that you can’t quite see, except YOU are the irritant.

His happy little circle hasn’t changed at all other than you are no longer a comfort you are a reminder that he feels guilty or hurt. His angry little jabs are his way of swiping at the hair trying to remove it.

His brain recognizes you as what is keeping him from being happy. In his mind, he wants you, but can’t have you.  In his mind, he is still sore about how it went down

Your ex boyfriend is probably confused about how thing got to where they are now and how to show you properly that he still cares for you deeply.  Your ex may still be battling from within what to do and is incredibly frustrated, so he does the easy thing.

Your ex boyfriend pitches a fit. He acts the bad boy.  He pushes you away, when he really intends to pull you close.

Now, it is also possible that he is acting the jerk, because he is one and he is not worth it.  But you would know if this behavior is a normal reflection of how he behaves and if its not, then it’s a sign he has unresolved feelings for you.

So How Do You Deal With a Bad Boy Ex?

Ignore it if you can and address it if you must.

If you ignore it and remain in his environment, you will find that you will reestablish yourself as a new type of comfortable as opposed to the relationship kind of comfortable.

It will also play into creating more value.  In time, his true demeanor  and feelings for you will be revealed.  I don’t know why some guys confusing their loving feelings with their angry feelings.

It happens.  I guess it is a form of what I would call emotional dissonance.  This is when your ex boyfriend is holding on to two oppossing feelings.  In once case, he is still mad at you and is reading to give up on the relationship.  In the other case, he cares a lot about you and wants you back in his life.  He finds himself wrestling between the two, not knowing how to deal with these two conflicting notions.

He’ll just get over it and settle in over time.

If you must address it because it is getting out of hand then consider this:

Simply ask him to talk and point out that he’s been kind of rude to you since your split and you’d appreciate it if he’d dial it back a notch. He doesn’t have to be nice, he just doesn’t need to be so aggressive.

Sign #7: Your Ex Boyfriend Is The First To Jump Head First into a New Relationship

You’ve only been broken up for what feels like five minutes and he’s already got some new girl on his arm. I cannot even begin to explain to you how easy it is to understand what you’re going through.

How on earth could this be a positive sign that he wants you back?  Sure doesn’t seem that way. Looks like he wants nothing to do with you, so you might think

Oh wait, yes I can identify with you.

I just got through dealing with this and it SUCKS!

Right now, all you want to know is how this reflects on you. What about you made him dive into another girl’s… arms so quickly? What’s wrong with you?  These are the kind of internal thoughts that might be running through your mind.

My quick advice.  Cast them out.  Ain’t nothing wrong with you.  It’s him.  And it’s probably your ex boyfriend’s lousy way of trying to get under your skin because he is too afraid to admit to himself and you that he still cares for you and can’t get you out of his mind.  So he tries to wash out of his head by jumping into this rebound relationship.

Your Ex Boyfriend’s Side of the Sad Tale

He saw something he wanted and went after it.

Well, that is what he is telling his friends.  It could be true.  But you know what else could be true about this latest move by your ex boyfriend? It could be that he is so desperate and starved for attention and someone to help him feel more like a man, that he jumps at the first opportunity.

That could be it as well.  It could be a lot of things.

That’s what dating is about.  It partly to figure out what we really want!

Yeah sure he could have waited a week or two, but let’s face it, it would have hurt just as much.

How to Deal With This Stupid Boyfriend Of Yours When He Jumps at the First Girl He Sees!

The thing is, he didn’t take your feelings into consideration.

Why? Opportunity cost.

Had he waited just to keep you from hurting, then he may have missed his opportunity.

So in a way he is acting out of impulse.  Your ex bf is acting out of immaturity.

Yeah this makes him a jerk.

He may not have intended to hurt you, but I realize that that is EXACTLY what he did. How do you get over something like that?

Take solace in the fact that you now know how big of a jerk he can be, and that you are no longer with a guy like that right now.  Allow time and your action plan to take shape and soon you will know if he has given up on you completely or if he is using this rebound as a way to sooth his pain or ego or loneliness.

Sign #8: Staying Friends (Hoping for Benefits)

You go out with a group of friends. He’s there.

Uh oh.

But somehow, almost like magic, things aren’t weird. Somehow things feel just like they used to. You reach out and touch his arm, you laugh. He puts his arm around you as you scoot closer.

You decide to leave the party together. It wasn’t really discussed. It just kind of happened.

And then again a few weeks later.

And then again.

The two of you agreed to stay friends, but somehow you keep finding yourselves in each other’s beds. You don’t mean to. It just keeps happening.

Could he be considering getting back together?

Certainly he has to care for you because why else take it so far?  But its unclear what is really going down, isn’t it.

I mean you don’t really do anything other than sleep together that makes you think this. You really are friends; you just happen to be knocking boots.

You can’t help but hope that maybe things will come back together.

His Side of the Friends With Benefits Situation

Dude, I have this great deal with my ex. We aren’t dating anymore, but we still hookup when we’re together. Which is nice because I don’t’ have to train anyone new to do that thing I like just yet.

Could this be the way he is thinking?  Perhaps.

Or it could be that relationship coming back together do so in fits and starts and so he is like you in many ways, trying to figure out what it all means.

 Your Way of Processing It

I realize that you are probably hoping that this will lead to something more, like a rekindling of love lost.

Things don’t often work out that way.

I can tell you though that if it has gotten this far, then signs of the connection between the two of you are undeniable and hence, eventually you will need to sort out what you want from each other.

Frankly, a friends with benefits situation, in my view, is not sustainable and can potentially lead to a worsening of the relationship as time goes by.  It really depends on the people and other circumstances.

My long term suggestion: cut out the sex and find someone who’ll date you AND sleep with you.

Get you a man that can do both!


Sign #9:  Your Ex Boyfriend Keeps Contacting You After You Asked for Space

You are trying your best to move on. Heck maybe you read “How to Get Over an Ex When You’re Still in Love With Him” and you have asked him to give you some space.

Good for you!

That is a tough call to make and I am proud of you for making it.

But let’s say you are not there yet.  Let assume you are still parsing through all the signs of his presumed interest and now he is just texting you even when you told him you need time alone.  Why does he do this?

What possesses your ex boyfriend to dutifully keep reaching out to you as if the two of you never even broke up. He calls and asks for favors.

“Could you take Fido out while he’s at work tomorrow?”

His sister can totally do that.

“Could you email him a copy of his resume? He seems to have misplaced it.”

Deleted it after we split. Sorry buddy.

“Hey what is that creamer you always get that he likes?”

Hazelnut, always Hazelnut.

“Where did he leave his sunglasses? He can’t seem to find them. Maybe he left them in your car.”

You dropped them in the lake the week we went to visit your Aunt. C’mon.

He’s being needier than he ever seemed to be when you were together. And you keep fielding these texts as best as you can, though you may not know whether you should completely ignore him.

Or if your luck better favors my own, he keeps reaching out to you right as you start to consider talking to someone new.

How did he know?

I always start to wonder if I need to check my apartment for bugs. He HAS to have some sort of ESP or something. It’s always RIGHT when I start to like a guy.

When I was younger, this would have sent me running back into his arms only to find us splitting up again shortly after.

Now I find that I can look at his reasoning for doing this and not let it screw up whatever possible romance could be budding with the interesting new prospect.

His Side of The Texting Barrage

Just like us women, men tend to go through phases of being fine with the split and missing us. However, while we go through LOOOOONG periods of time right after a split where we miss him like crazy, he’s fine right after the relationship then gets side blinded by the fact that he almost texted you about a show you watched together out of habit. Then suddenly the need to talk to you starts cropping up more and more. Eventually he will give in.

However, as soon as the two of you get comfortable and start talking again. Poof! He realizes he didn’t want the relationship back he just wanted to know you were still there.

That is one scenario.

Another one is he figured out pretty quickly that he screwed up.  That you are the catch of his life and that he let emotions cloud his vision.  So he figures he will overwhelm you with attention in the form of texts to get you to respond.

Or it could be an impulsive thing such that he can’t help himself, never mind you are not ready yet to even talk about such things.  Like an itch that he has to scratch.

Like a child reaching out in his sleep to remind himself that his mother is still there.

How to Deal With It On Your End

I find that their “missing us” phase, lines up with our “over it” phase far too often in my opinion.

I suggest you weigh you’re risk and reward in this situation.

How long did it take you to get to a place where you were almost over it?

Would it behoove you to make friends with your ex or avoid contact with him forever.

Of course, it all depends on your individual circumstance.  Just know that frequent repeated texts from your ex boyfriend can mean a lot of things, so be sure to take the time to peel back the layers, over time, to understand the root cause.

I find that in my life it almost always makes sense to be friends with an ex simply because you share a friend-base, but that’s not really the case for everyone, but you should definitely not throw any new relationships to the side simply because he texted.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Frequently Asked Questions About Whether Your Ex Boyfriend Has You On His Mind

FAQ 1: My Ex cheated but now says he wants me back. Does he care about me? The signs are not off the chart?

When someone cheats on us, trust is eroded.  If he says he wants everything back that he had with you is a good thing to hear, but just because he says this, doesn’t mean that it will happen.  His actions will speak louder.  There needs to be a restoration of the trust lost and that will take time.  Know that there will likely be periods where his trust in you erodes.  You can do things like openly sharing your phone records and checking in with him more frequently over time to earn it back.

FAQ 2: What can you do when you feel your ex boyfriend doesn’t care about you enough?

First you need to get back to basics as to what is really going on between the two of you.  Has there been a series of breakdowns and breakups? If so, then you need to focus on creating some value in how he sees you.  That won’t happen overnight and it it likely won’t happen if you are still half way in and out of the relationship. Sometimes it pays to pull all the way out, going into a no contact period, then coming back after you have focused on improving yourself and rebuilding your own confidence and value in his eyes.

FAQ 3: My ex boyfriend says he cares for me, but wont be with me or make any effort to give us a chance.  How do I change his mind?

Trying to change his mind should not be your focus.  Sometimes, the harder you try to make a relationship work, the more difficult it becomes to make that wish a reality.  If your lover truly feels connected to you and shows through his actions that he values you, the rest will fall in place.  The question is how do you build that kind of value.  It’s usually not by pushing your ex boyfriend hard for the very thing you want.  His natural impulse may be to resist.  Men like the chase. Give him something to be attracted to and do it often and make it fun.

FAQ 4:  How can I be sure my ex boyfriend will love me again in the same way he did before?  We are back together, but are we doomed?  Did my cheating on him ruin us for life?

Certainly, when we are dealing with cheating episodes in a relationship, damage is done and it is not undone in a matter of weeks or months.  In my view, the problem is not your ex boyfriend loving you less.  Love is not something that waxes and wanes. It is far more complicated and lasting than that. Love between you and your ex does not easily steal away into the night.  You are better off at working at restoring trust through trust building exercises, ongoing counseling, and an opening up of your life  to show your ex boyfriend you have full transparency.

FAQ 5: I am not sure if my ex wants me back because he doesn’t text me any longer. Can I do something to get his attention?

Yes, you absolutely can do something to improve your ex recovery odds.  Just because your ex bf stopped texting you doesn’t mean he stopped caring about you or has given up.  That desire to text you comes from the same place that caused him to want to date you in the first place.  Your job going forward is to leverage that.  And there are a multitude of ways to reignite that spark.  My eBooks help people optimize their chances to get noticed and they teach you how you can arouse his interest.  But you have to have a plan and you need to be faithful to executing it.  And how your individual plan will work will depending on an assortment of factors.


Okay Let’s Wrap Up!

You know what, that’s what you should take away from this I suppose.

I’m going to be straight with you; you’re never going to really know what is going on in your ex’s mind for sure. Even if you flat out asked them, you’ll probably never get the truth, because of pride, or selfishness, confusion, or just plain stupidity.

Relationship truths are not revealed so easily when both parties are still struggling to get in touch with their feelings.  You may think you know what you want, but later you may discover that it is not that important any longer whether your ex boyfriend wants you.

You may discover you really don’t want him.

Try Not To Sweat All the Uncertainties of Your Breakup!

As a matter of fact, you’ll never truly know why ANYONE does the things they do. It’s human nature.
So my advice to you, don’t dwell on the things you don’t have control over.

If you’re spending your time over-analyzing every little thing that he does, you’re going to miss the important things going on around you. Don’t miss out on wonderful friends, or good relationships because of a relationship that is already over.

I assure you, most of the time after a relationship, he is doing everything he can’t not to think about you or the relationship. He’ll cut himself off from you and surround himself with women and distractions if that’s the only way he sees. Sure, there are moments when he misses what you had, but those could be just fleeting moments.  Or not.  He may be one of those guys that has to take the more difficult path to discover you are the one he wants..

It’s up to you whether you want to get over the relationship and move on or try your hand at getting him back.

If you are having to ask if he cares though, then that’s just it, he probably doesn’t, unless you are speaking from a place of insecurity.  People show you, not just in tiny gestures, that they care.  So if you look and listen carefully, there will be a ton of little signs speak to the truth of your connection.

Even Famous People Struggle With Accepting Truths in Breakups

Would you believe that even Oprah dealt with this exact problem?

Many, many years ago, she was discussing a lost relationship with Dr. Maya Anjelou. She spoke about waiting for that phone call that never came. “When a person says to you, ‘I’m selfish,’ or ‘I’m mean’ or ‘I am unkind,’ believe them,” She said. “They know themselves much better than you do.”

She eluded to how this man had let her down, and the pain that she was going through. Dr. Anjelou replied to this by asking, “Why are you blaming the other person? He showed you who he was.”

“When you look back on bad relationships… For myself, [it was] sitting in a window waiting for him to show up, not even getting on the phone because I was afraid that if it was busy for one second that he would call and I would miss the call, not taking out the garbage on the weekends because I might be out the moment that he called, not running the bath water because he might call while I’m running the bath water…When you look at that process of waiting on somebody who has told you they were… going to be there for you and they were not, they are showing you in that moment exactly who they are.”


So when you look back at your break up and you think of anything he’s done that is outright vicious or mean, know that, yes, he was probably just doing that to push you away, but there are many other ways to go about that.

Believe it or not, his actions reflect upon his very character. He’s showing you who he is.

I know it’s tempting to make excuses for him.

“He’s hurting.”


“He’s just trying to save me from even more heartache.”

But that’s like cutting off your hand to save yourself the pain of a papercut.

The papercut will heal in time, just like you will eventually get over a break up.

But by pushing you away in a harsh manner, saying horrible things or doing things that will deliberately hurt you, well that’s really a much deeper cut that will take much longer, if ever, to heal.

So I implore you not to delude the situation in front of you. If you had a daughter and she was in any of these situations, what would you tell her?

What to Read Next

The Rules For Getting An Ex Back During Quarantine

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

Why Men Always Seem To Come Back After You’ve Moved On

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

The Rules For Flirting With Your Ex?

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

175 thoughts on “Does Your Ex Boyfriend Still Care About You? Let’s Find Out Together!”

  1. Avatar


    December 21, 2020 at 5:40 pm

    Hi there

    So my ex boyfriend and I broke up in January. Since then he’s been jumping from girl to girl. However, he has been with the on girl since May. In September he messaged me and called me to tell me that he still thinks of me and wants me. I was ready to fix things with him. However, towards the end of the call he was asking me to send nudes and I said no. He got so upset with me that h blocked me on WhatsApp and unfollowed me on instagram. He ended up being with that girl. That girl doesn’t know he called me and told me all of these things. Its December now and I got a request from a fake account on instagram. The account looks like it is his. However i did not accept i just left it pending. A few days later i saw he unblocked on WhatsApp. However, I don’t know whether he has my number saved. I find it weird because he is still with this girl acting all serious, he even uploaded a picture with her on the 10 Dec. and i got that request on the 12 Dec.
    On the fake account he is following all his exes or the girls he use to speak to. What does this all mean? Will he reach out to me? I still love him very much and would like to make things work.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 19, 2021 at 10:20 pm

      Hi Kim, I would say that you need to look at his actions he is emotionally cheating at the minimum on his current girlfriend, along with a fake account and acting in ways that are not respectful to you, the girl or anyone else he may be doing the same things with. I would suggest that you focus on moving on from this guy and focus on yourself, date others and realise that you deserve better than this.

  2. Avatar


    November 25, 2020 at 10:59 pm

    I left my ex of 23 years ,due to alcohol and emotional and physical abuse, it was time to leave him in 06/2019. We have two daughter, has not contacted them at all. he was very close with the youngest i thought he’d at least for her, would keep in contact he tried two contact me in Dec 2019, of last year. since then i met a good guy, we started dating told my ex when he contacted me again in dec that i was in a relationship so i won’t have any problems with my new relationship. well. My EX ( baby daddy)told me that it was cheating don’t see how he thinks i cheated since we have been broken it had already been 9 month since i left him. since then my current boyfriend and i split 3 months ago it was bad timing i guess. Now i hear from my oldest that she is hates me so much but i cannot understand why, he was the abuser in the relationship i don’t understand why. please advise does he hate me because he still has feeling for me or hates that i was with another man?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 23, 2020 at 5:52 pm

      Hi Jessica, it could be both where your ex hates that you met someone else and that you moved on from them. They’ve lost that power over you. But I would suggest that you do not go back or even consider going back. Your ex needs help with their alcoholism and the abuse you suffered is unfair if your children hold it against you, however you do not what stories their father is telling them. Keep composed and be the better parent they will realise the truth as the age.

  3. Avatar

    Jane turner

    November 11, 2020 at 12:57 am

    My boyfriend and I were together for 2 1/2 years . We both got our own place together and our relationship was off and on. We broke up about 2 months ago and he randomly just upped and moved 4 hours away from our hometown without telling me. Hes pretty impulsive,He moved away with old friends that he hasn’t been friends with for years and they just randomly became friends again. He drove back down twice and helped me clean up the apartment bc I am also moving away now. He told me that he missed and loved me and he’s sad that all of this happened but he hopes it’s for the best. He said he still wants me in his life and to be his friend and he’s having a hard time moving on too bc of all the memories we’ve had but I miss him so much.I’m still extremely hurt bc I am in love with him, we did everything together and I’m having a hard time coping with everything. We are now living 7 hours apart from eachother and I’m just wondering is there any chance of us getting back together or what do I even do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 24, 2020 at 10:16 pm

      Hi Jane, so you need to spend some time following a No Contact (30 days) where you just do not speak or watch his social media, you have moved so focus on your fresh start for now. As for getting back together, there are many people who get their long distance exes back, but it does mean that you have to do the work in the articles to get the results.

  4. Avatar

    Francinah Masombuka

    November 8, 2020 at 6:01 pm

    Thanks for your advice it really makes me feel better

  5. Avatar

    Jeana spallino

    September 7, 2020 at 12:55 pm

    Hello, so we both ended our marriages for each other, him more so for me, since I was already planning divorce.we were best friends for a year, lovers for 3 months. Then we spent a beautiful 2 weeks together after announcing our separations from our spouses. Then one of my exhusbands sister in laws contacted our gym and threatened the owner. The owner decided to take my boyfriend off of being a kids coach, and he banned me. Then my boyfriend says he doesn’t know anything, we should split up, and he was not in love with me like he kept saying all these months. And then he blocked me on Facebook but only removed me on Instagram. I have had no contact with him and have played it cool and level headed so idk about the phone if it’s blocked or not. Just really really confused

  6. Avatar


    August 13, 2020 at 9:08 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 4days ago, saying he doesn’t see a future with me. We’ve been dating for three months now and I didn’t see it coming because on my account it was good. Yeah we argue sometimes tho. I asked him why he said he doesn’t really know, I tried pushing for answers, he said I don’t let him out of my sight and some other things he doesn’t know how to say. I tried negotiating, saying I can change if he makes the reasons clearer and stuff because I really can. I don’t want to lose him. But he said he doesn’t think its easy to work on our differences that we can be friends, told him I don’t want to be his friend or something. I couldn’t go to my house that night because I was so broken, cried and all. Next morning he was still so normal with me and was even talking to me about his family at work because we work at the same place. So next day, i decided to start no contact, i was free and didnt go to work. He called me when he got off work asking how I am and stuff, gave him straight answers, no talk about the relationship, then I switched my phone off. Next morning, he told me called in the evening but couldn’t reach me so he called my friend, then he asked if there’s anything I want to talk about, told him no, he called me in the evening saying he has been trying to reach me (yeah, I switched my phone off) that he wants us to see, told him I don’t feel like going out, as much as I really want him back, I wouldn’t want to misunderstand him, does he want me back or something? Should I keep ignoring him

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 17, 2020 at 10:42 pm

      Hi Rachel, yes keep to your NC! Stay strong and make sure you are following the advice about being Ungettable and using social media to your advantage

  7. Avatar


    August 12, 2020 at 9:38 pm

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me 3days ago saying he doesn’t see a future with me. We’ve been dating for three months now and I didn’t see it coming cuz it was good although weve had our share of the ups and downs and I don’t understand why or maybe I do because he mentioned I let him out of my sight and some other things he doesn’t know how to say. I told him I could change if he makes the reasons clearer or something but no. I couldn’t go home that night because I was so broken, I cried and all. Next morning he was all nice as if nothing happened. Talked to me about his family at work because we work at the same place but I’d be moving next two months. I tried to start no contact next day, I was free so I didn’t go to work he called me and when I picked I was all straight to business, no talk about the relationship then I switched my phone off, so he wouldn’t reach me. Next morning he saw me at work and said he couldn’t reach me but he called my friend so he could talk to me or something, then asked if I want to tell him anything so I told him no. I switched off my phone after work again, then when it was on he called but I missed it, so i texted him that I was busy. He called back and asked if I we could see, I told him no that I don’t feel like going out or something. He acts like we’re still dating, calls me petnames and all. As much as I really want him back, I don’t want to misunderstand him and ruin my chances. Do you think he wants me back

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 14, 2020 at 10:10 pm

      Hi Rachel, I can’t tell you if he wants you back or not but he has not asked you to get back together. So I suggest that you follow a No Contact properly. Do not answer his calls or texts. You need to follow this rule for a solid 30 days

  8. Avatar


    August 10, 2020 at 6:29 pm

    So, boyfriend (of 6-7ish months) broke up with me. Said he was DONE but also needed time/space?Well I’m not great at giving space, because I feel like I should fight for something I want… Now am understanding/reading that this might not be the best method :/. Anyway, going to try the NC method but just curious as to why this method works?! How do you determine the length of NC? I was texting and reaching out but have gotten no response… I am hopeful that wounds can heal and that we can start to connect again and hopefully be better than before?! 🙂
    Any more advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 11, 2020 at 2:22 pm

      Hi Kay, yes you should fight for something you want. But fighting for something does not always mean being present. If you want your ex back I suggest you follow the No contact rule and work on yourself for the time being. Set yourself some career goals, or saving goals. Fitness goals even. Just to give your drive something else to focus on for the time being. The No Contact Rule, has many many articles on this website to explain to you why we use this method, why it works and the affects it has on your ex when you are following it correctly, so please read some articles to help you understand while you are working on yourself.

  9. Avatar


    June 14, 2020 at 4:06 pm

    We was pretty close to getting back together. Then lock down happened and spun things in the air for the both of us.
    Me & my ex had a falling out. I called him out on his hot & cold behavior he didn’t like that at all. He then would send me nice messages while drunk for a few days, I replied to them normally I wasn’t over the top. Then he completely blocked me out of nowhere. Does that mean he is confused about things? I am now reaching week 4 of no contact & not sure what to do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 14, 2020 at 9:10 pm

      Hey Shell, if he has blocked you after you calling him out on the hot and cold behaviour it is more likely blocking you to avoid having that conversation. While you are blocked you are forced to follow the rules of No Contact, so be sure that you are using this time to work on your Holy Trinity

  10. Avatar

    Martha Meighan

    June 9, 2020 at 6:41 pm

    We were friends for four years and began to get closer. Then he told me to stop emailing him but continued to engage me in church. Then he told my son he was never romantically interested in me and was thinking if taking legal action against me didn’t want to be my friend or reconcile with me.But would say hi to me in church. What the heck is going on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 9, 2020 at 10:02 pm

      Hi Martha, I think he is being civil and polite to say hello to you in person. Do not contact him again if he is threatening legal action. You do not want to get yourself a record

  11. Avatar


    May 7, 2020 at 2:13 pm

    So I know my ex boyfriend for over 5 years and we dated for 4 years on an off. In the beginning it went really really well. And when we broke up i was so confused because we did have a good relationship. However, it has been off and on since then. At the beginning of this year i saw he took another girl out and when asked him about it he said she’s just a friend. I felt disrespected and told him how i felt about everything that he dissent respect or appreciate me. So i told him even though i love him so much i can walk away unhappy if i have to. And he said do what you have to and he’ll do the same. We didn’t speak for a few weeks until he posted a pic of the same girl holding her hand. I did ask him and he said because we stopped talking he moved on. After that i have contacted and i saw he left her and moved onto someone else very quickly and someone he knows i dont like. For my birthday i posted a pic and he unfollowed me and then a week later followed me back and liked my pic. I didn’t react. A few weeks after that he added me on snapchat and snapped me and i didn’t react. And then removed me from snapchat. And then a week later (today) i posted a pic with the saying ” i like clingy. i like double texts and phonically. Goodmorning and goodnight texts. I like knowing someone care and i like knowing they try” as my status on WhatsApp. I dont know if he’s friend told him about it but after that my ex deleted my number. However, the same pic i saw he liked it on instagram. I dont know why he did that. Even though i have him blocked on WhatsApp from the time we stopped speaking. I find it strange that he’s only doing this now. I do want him back and i do love him a lot. What should i do? Please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 17, 2020 at 9:58 pm

      Hi there Yash, so if you want him back, you need to complete a 45 day NC where you work on your Holy Trinity, but also unblock him. You are just going to allow him see that you are doing well using social media while not speaking to him for a period of time. Then you work on your Holt Trinity, and plan your texts once your NC is over

  12. Avatar


    March 25, 2020 at 5:45 pm

    I want to know what to do with my situation. My ex boyfriend changed and said he didnt feel the connection between us after went for a field trip in asia for a month. we dated for more than 10 months. It has seem to be nice, and he told me he like rather quiet girl, and I am exactly one. But he changed entirely during the trip, I also felt his message were less sweet and not showing much care for me. The thing really shocked me was that it has absolutely no hint before, the last time we met, we had fun talking in the restaurant and great intimate time. So I find it so harsh to accept that he said he met some couples and new friends from the trip who made him realise he was not so happy in the relationship. I first express my doubt about meeting him in person for the break up, I just feel it would hurt mor and I stopped reply to his last message of him explaining how he lost feeling, I find it too hurt to say anything yet. So it has been basically no contact for 3 weeks, but for my situation we haven’t met since he flew to asia, that is actually almost 2 months we haven’t see each other. I wonder if I should start to talk to him again, or still wait till the no contact more than 30 days? There is one thing tricky make me struggle to whether still wait is that I opened the mail box today, and found a tore aparted envelope with an accessory which I left at his place, I believe he droped by in person and might even rang the bell, but I didnt know it untill today, and I am also curious about why the enveloped is tore apart, did he go mad that I ignored him or was it by accident? So I urgently want to know what I should do now? should I talk to him now? (ps. he still checking every of my instagram stories(nothing about the break-up) always like the first persons to check them, does it mean anything?)

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 4, 2020 at 8:23 pm

      Hi Minnie, if you have spent an entire 30 days of not reaching out at all then you could attempt the texting phase but keep in mind that you are starting to get to know him for the second time. Working up the value ladder. Work your Holy Trinity throughout this time

  13. Avatar


    February 26, 2020 at 5:31 am

    Just broke up with my ex of 10 months, started the relationship with him finding me lying to him about my ex while we had just started. He broke up with me the twice and I begged him and had changed. Stay transparent to him and even asking multiple times how to work on the relationship to move forward. He just clamped up, good 6 months suddenly he just dropped the bomb on me and said he couldn’t continue this anymore as everything that I do arouses the suspicious although I tried all of effort to gain back his trust. I asked him how to work on it and he just refused to let know but continue his imaginary suspicious. He left me last Friday and I am devastated, using the total NC with him. I am wondering what are my chances with him, I love him and wanted so much this work. How can I save this relationship?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 6, 2020 at 10:06 pm

      Hi Rachel so you have broken his trust and for whatever reason you have not managed to gain it back. So I would read the articles about trust and cheating. Even though you never cheated the information will still be useful to you. Once your 30 days No Contact is over you can reach out with a text that Chris suggests, but it also means that you will not be able to speak to the other ex that caused all the drama.

  14. Avatar


    January 14, 2020 at 5:55 pm

    Feeling really confused. Me & my ex haven’t spoken in 3 months. We decided to block eachother and not speak to eachother. He ended things with me as he was too stressed and busy but we did continue speaking for a while but after a big row ( over his drinking & mental health had got worse ) I decided I had to block his number and try move on I tried all I could to help. Anyways I noticed he unblocked me on Instagram and has now tried to add me on Instagram :-/ why has he done this? And what shale i do? I want to reach out and see if his ok but I’m abit scared too. Advice please.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 16, 2020 at 11:19 pm

      Hey Kath so as you have only just noticed that he has unblocked you I would not to do too much, if you need to accept his follow request do so but do not reach out for at LEAST 10 days minimum, but look at Chris messages and use one of those hook ideas to get his attention and break the ice for conversation.

  15. Avatar


    January 5, 2020 at 6:04 am

    Hi, my ex boyfriend broke up with me on Sept. 12 because he said that it wasn’t working out and he was stressed with soccer. I later found out that he had been saying that he doesn’t care about me anymore. I don’t know if that is true or he is trying to hide his feelings. We have only talked a couple times after the breakup. The last time he said something was on my birthday. That was a month ago. Also, I said something hurtful to him about 2 months after the breakup because I was really hurt. I’m scared he won’t talk to me again. Also, he put something on Snapchat that said he had caught feelings for someone. I don’t know if that is true or he is trying to make me jealous. After I saw that, I decided to delete Snapchat for a while so that I can’t see what he posts. I don’t want to unfriend him yet because I don’t want to shut him out of my life yet. I am trying my best to move on but I always think about him whenever I’m not busy. I really need some help trying to figure out everything. (This was my first breakup)

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 8, 2020 at 4:36 pm

      Hi Kaite, so I would suggest that you reach out to your ex if you haven’t spoken in a month and see what sort of response you get and start talkignto him more often to attempt to reattract him, if he has met someone else then you need to read about the being there method. If you want to move on then you need to start chatting to other people to see if someone starts to get your attention

  16. Avatar


    January 3, 2020 at 8:30 pm

    My ex has unblocked me on Instagram after 3 months of no contact ( he was in a bad state of mine eg depression Under stress hence why I ended things with me )
    So I decided to unblock him on my WhatsApp as I was hurt one night he sent me something horrible While he was drunk so I blocked him on there so it’s been 3 months of no contact.
    He hasn’t reached out to me yet should I wait? Or should I reach out? I’m not putting my hopes up in terms of getting back together but perhaps just be civil with eachother would be nice? What are your thoughts? Please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 10:05 pm

      Hi Kathy, so I would reach out but not as soon as you unblock him give it a few days and then reach out with the type of text that Chris suggests as this is what is going to appear you trying to have a short positive conversation. Avoid talking about emotional subjects or the past relationship

  17. Avatar


    December 30, 2019 at 12:06 am

    We recently broke up and haven’t hung out in a month except for one hour he came over. When he was here he was super sweet but when he’s not with me he is mean and a different person. He ended blocking me Monday on everything but Facebook kept us in a relationship and kept me as his profile picture. He’s lightly been texting a little more few days, but I don’t know what to do or think.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 30, 2019 at 10:28 pm

      Hey Kaili if you are not together then you need to go into a No Contact and you need to give him the reality of what a “break up” is. He needs to feel the loss and you are not giving that to him when you allow him to be nice to you one minute and horrible another

  18. Avatar


    December 29, 2019 at 3:50 am

    I was with my boyfriend for a year and 8 months and one day he just acted distant and decided to breakup with me. I didn’t see it coming. I tried NC but when I decided to finally contact him he was being a jerk about it so I stopped trying. 4 months passed and he randomly sent me a text on snapchat showing the necklace he gave me for Christmas a year ago, he had found it in his car. We started to text more often and he wanted to meet up in person to catch up. This brought my hopes up, Im still in love with him so I said yes. He ended up canceling and he did that multiple of times. One night he kind of hinted how he wanted to have sex with me, and I just played along. I was debating if I should have a FWB relationship with him but I knew that would just hurt me. One day he picked me up from work and things just escalated, I started crying a little bit when he kissed me because I knew I was going to regret having sex with him so he stopped. He hugged me and told me he tries not think about our past, and then he just kissed me again and took me home. He never texted me again after that incident and it really hurt me. Couple days later he un added me on every social media and now I have no form of communicating with him. I don’t know what to do. I am confused and I don’t know if he still has feelings for me or if he just wanted to sleep with me. Please I need some advice.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 5:14 am

      Hey there, it sounds as if your ex was trying to get a friends with benefits situation honestly. If you want a relationship then you need to try and follow the stages of this program and see if you can get him to invest into you and give you a relationship again. But it is important that you do not sleep with him before you are back together or you will fall into the FWB trap

  19. Avatar


    October 15, 2019 at 7:02 am

    So me and my ex broke up in july. After that, i messaged him that i will wait for him and went NC for a month. During that month, we saw each other frequently due to camps and stuff. But i still didnt contact him(it was really hard not to). Afterwards, he replied to my igstory and started to initiate contact w me. At that time, it felt like NC really worked and things can work out between us again.
    But from then on, i couldnt pressure him for replies so i patiently waited and this resulted to us dragging for 3months. During the 3months, he replied me slowly, we met occasionally to talk about us and make out. It felt like theres hope but he was always uncertain, lost and just really hesitant. I still waited patiently for him to just remove that negative perception of me (from our prior relationship days) and slowly embrace the idea of “us” again. But during these 3months, i never did anything vital, i admit. I didnt show him i changed. (Maybe changed in the sense that i am less pressurizing and more respectful of him but i guess still not enough to get him back because we are always on the fence and no actual actions to prove my change).
    Eventually, he came to my area to meet me and told me to give him time. One week later, i found out he muted his igstories from me and i still tried my best to believe in his words then. But, he then messaged me and told me he fell for someone else. He coaxed me into meeting for the last time and told me that its no longer possible between us and he cannot hurt the girl. I tried to persuade him (no begging) and he was wavered. But still, hanging onto his decision, even by a thread. It feels like he is just afraid to come back. I know i can no longer persuade him so i told him that “To you, we are a set of problems to avoid. To me, we are challenges to overcome. I could have left you at your lowest but i didnt. I dont regret anything but if given another chance, i rather we never met. I hope she will be there for you through ur worst and be happy.” And i left.
    I heard his footsteps closely behind me but i quickened my pace and could no longer hear them anymore.
    It was our birthday recently (we have the same birthday) and it was saddening to not receive any bday wishes from him. I messaged him “happy belated bday” and he didnt reply.

    I am uncertain whether will NC work for us anymore because it feels like its already over..and i am also uncertain if this girl is gonna be a rebound..but i know he have many issues to deal with and he is just avoiding them and trying to seek “temporary happiness”..

    I just dk what to do anymore.

    Thankyou for reading

  20. Avatar

    Brandi Bowen

    October 3, 2019 at 11:14 am

    So, my ex and I split on Sept 15 & had only been dating about a month. I tried NC but found out he was moving a state away just recently & contacted him to see what it was about. While in NC he texted about a hookup, then got mad bc I didn’t answer. I did text 2 days later just simply saying I care too much & respected myself too much. On the 24th he didn’t unfriend me but changed his FB to where I cannot see new posts or anything. He still has me on Snapchat & has responded to every single message in a timely manner since we spoke about him moving. I’m going back into NC but why would he prevent me from seeing his FB but nothing else a week & a half ago? I do wonder if he really is moving or he’s just saying he is but I also hadn’t liked anything or said anything to him on FB either. Or he is with someone new already….what do you think & is it still possible to get him back? I did get pretty pathetic with begging him to give things another chance.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 3, 2019 at 10:21 pm

      Hey Brandi, so following this program is you giving yourself the best chance of getting him back. Starting with a full No Contact, you need to do some reading about what you need to do during your NC, including how to be the Ungettable Girl. And get yourself aware of how to send the first text when your NC is over. Good Luck 🙂

1 2 3 4