Have you ever noticed that talking to your ex boyfriend is like playing a game of chess?

Except instead of wagering the lives of wooden or plastic pawns you are wagering your very own emotions. One wrong move can leave you with a broken heart and eating a tub of ice cream. Unfortunately, probably everyone who is reading this page is experiencing a loss at the emotional “chess game” at this very moment.

Since we are dealing with an ex boyfriend here all of his moves have to be questioned.

“Does he really mean what he says?”

“Does he even care about me at all?”

“Does he just want to use me for sex?”

“Am I just a booty call to him?”

This websites main purpose has always been to help women who want to get their ex boyfriends back. Unfortunately, women who want to get their exes back tend to be the most emotional people on the planet and the thing about emotional people is that they don’t always think logically all the time (no offense.)

I mean, if everyone was super logical then there would be no need for the PRO System.

Here is the thing about ex boyfriends.

Not all ex boyfriends are nice. Some have no problem saying exactly what they know a girl wants to hear and then using that girl to their advantage. When you add in the fact that YOU, the ex girlfriend who desperately wants an ex back, is highly emotional you are at a pretty high risk of being used.

I created this guide to educate you on the many different ways that an ex boyfriend can use you and how you can turn the tables on him.

Your Time & If An Ex Who Uses You Is Worth It

worth it

At first glance you may look at this section and think to yourself,

“What in the world does any of this have to do with an ex boyfriend using me?”

While I can understand the initial confusion I promise you that what I have to say in this section is very appropriate for this page.

For the past year I have run Ex Boyfriend Recovery and I feel I have a very close relationship with each and every one of you. This means that I know my audience pretty darn well and if there is one thing I know about you ladies it is that even if your ex is using you, you probably want him back.

While it is not my place to judge you and the decisions you make I do want to make you aware of something.

Your time matters much more than you think it does.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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The Jellybean Video

jellybeans

I know your life is busy. I know you have places to be, people to text and work to do but I want you to do yourself a favor. All I am asking is that you take 3 minutes of your time to watch this video:

(Oh, and in case you are wondering this is the first time in the history of this site that I have ever embedded a video so if that doesn’t tell you how important watching this thing is I don’t know what will.)

You didn’t watch it did you?

Gosh, you are so lazy. Alright, I will give you a quick summary.

Imagine that every day of your life equaled one jellybean.

The average person lives about 28,835 days. Well, that means that everyone, when they are born, start off with 28,835 jellybeans.

However, things like:

  • Sleeping
  • Eating
  • Drinking
  • Being sick
  • Working
  • Commuting to work
  • Watching TV
  • Chores
  • Shopping
  • Bathing
  • Grooming
  • Going to church
  • Exercising

Eats away at the time or the “jellybeans” that you have left.

When you look at what the average American spends (time wise) on each of the things that I listed above that means that you will be left with 2,740 jellybeans to do with as you please.

That means you have 2,740 days of free time.

Time to go out on dates, meet people, enjoy life and do things that you deem as worthy of those jellybeans.

Now, What does any of this have to do with your ex boyfriend?

Your Time Is More Valuable Than His

waste my time

In PRO I teach something pretty revolutionary.

Are you ready?

Your time on this earth is much more valuable than your exes.

I want to illustrate this point by running through an interesting scenario with you.

Lets pretend that you had one year to find the man of your dreams.

Man Of Your Dreams- Basically, this is your future husband. He IS your prince charming. I believe a lot of you ladies call him “the one” and I am not talking about the Matrix. No, this is speaking directly to that one perfect person for you that is out there.

So, you have exactly one year to find this guy.

What happens if you aren’t able to find him within that year?

Well, then you will never find love, you will never have a lasting relationship and you will never get married. In other words, you will never find true happiness.

365 days…

That is all the time you have to find “the one.”

If you were presented with this scenario (where your time is extremely valuable) how do you think your ex would fare?

Would your ex boyfriend be considered “the one” if he was using you? Would you even want to waste your precious time on someone like this?

These are important questions that you need to be asking yourself right now because the truth is that not many guys who use you are going to be “the one.” I know it may feel like it at this moment but lets think about this logically.

In your mind would “the one” use you? Would he play with your emotions? Would he treat you like your ex has been treating you?

Now, maybe your ex boyfriend is “the one.” I don’t know him personally so I couldn’t tell you. All I am asking for you to realize is that your time on this earth is limited and wasting it on someone who isn’t worth it is a BIG mistake.

I can tell you one thing. If your ex is using you then that means that he doesn’t think your time is more valuable than his. The second a guy realizes the truth (you are more valuable) is the second that he starts to grow attracted to you and he won’t treat you in a way in which you feel used.

So, I urge you to wake up and see the truth, YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE. Don’t waste it.

You have 365 days….. good luck 😉 .

Words and Actions

hypocrite warning

I promise we are getting closer to the different ways in which an ex boyfriend can use you after a breakup. However, before I get to that there is one last thing that has to be discussed. I rarely say anything like this but the information that I talk about in this section is vital to helping you understand if you are being used by your ex.

Do you know what the definition of a hypocrite is?

Hypocrite- A person who claims to have certain beliefs but acts in a way that completely disagrees with those beliefs.

In other words, if your ex boyfriend says one thing but does another then that would make him a hypocrite. You may have noticed how words and actions can tie directly into that “hypocrite” definition.

“A person who CLAIMS to have certain beliefs.”

This would be the “word” part in which someone is claiming or saying that they have a certain set of beliefs. For example, if your ex boyfriend said to you that he wanted to get a place together at the end of the month. Well, that would mean that he is claiming that he holds the belief that the two of you will get a place together at the end of the month.

“But ACTS in a way that disagrees with those beliefs.”

This would be the “action” part of the statement. Above we established that someone held a certain belief. However, when the time came for that person to hold true to that belief they didn’t which makes them a hypocrite. In other words, if your ex boyfriend got cold feet and backed out of getting that place together at the end of the month by definition that makes him a hypocrite.

Words and actions will be your primary ammunition for deciphering if your ex is using you or not.

Allow me to explain.

Words, Actions And An Ex Who Uses You

use your words

I like making things easy for people. I feel that when I complicate subjects that not a lot of people walk away fully grasping that subject. Unfortunately, this entire website is based on a very complicated subject (exes.) So, the challenge that I am faced with is trying to find a way to easily help you understand the concepts that I want you to understand.

In this case, what I want you to understand is if you are being used by your ex boyfriend or not.

So, when I was planning this entire guide out I was lucky enough to find an easy way that can help you determine that.

What is that easy way?

Words and actions of course!

Let me run through a hypothetical situation to show you exactly how you can use words and actions to determine if an ex is using you.

Lets pretend that you and your ex are on talking terms after the breakup. While the two of you aren’t together the chemistry between the two of you is still there. This chemistry eventually leads to a situation where the two of you sleep together.

Of course, you are very excited about this and feel that this could be a bridge into a complete reconciliation where the two of you become “official” again.

Unfortunately, day after day goes by and nothing happens. You keep sleeping with your ex and he keeps feeding you some line like,

“We have to wait until the time is right.”

Those are his WORDS. The words seem nice and they are kind of want you want to hear. Ideally, you want to be official as soon as possible but at least when he feeds you this line you feel there could be a future relatively soon.

But his ACTIONS are telling a different story aren’t they?

Rather than manning up and locking you down he keeps using you as a booty call and you fall for it every single time.

There Has To Be An Agreement

I am about to give you the secret to seeing if your ex boyfriend actually means what he says.

You see, when we date someone we want to believe that everything they say is the truth. This is something that I have noticed in my own personal life. For example, maybe I start falling for someone and they start telling me things about themselves. That person could lie about everything and I would believe it without question because I am falling for them.

When you have strong feelings for someone you want to believe everything they say.

Thus, it is easier to get fooled if someone is taking advantage of you or using you.

It’s funny, whenever I hear a woman calling another woman stupid for falling into the friends with benefits trap I am not entirely sure that’s fair.

Yes, becoming friends with benefits is the dumbest idea ever (more on that later.) However, the judgement from other women isn’t fair because I know for a fact if you put the woman who is being all judgey in the same situation with the same emotions she will fall for being FWB (friends with benefits) too.

Why?

Because, when you care for someone on that intense of a level you want to believe every little thing that they say and it is easy to be taken advantage of.

Let me get back to my words and actions rant for a moment.

If you really want to test and see if your ex is taking advantage of you what you will be looking for is an agreement between his words and his actions.

In other words, if he says something and then later follows through by doing it then he is GOOD! That means there is an agreement between his actions and words.

However, if he says something and then does not follow through with it then that is BAD. That means he may potentially be using you or taking advantage of you.

Agreement = Good

No Agreement = Bad

Got it?

The Two Ways In Which An Ex Boyfriend Can Use You

feeling used

I am sure there are probably a thousand little ways that an ex can use you after a breakup (not even exaggerating. If you think I am check out PRO.) However, I don’t have the time or patience to get into them all right now. So, I am just going to be talking about the two main ways that an ex can use you after a breakup.

Now, I am one of the very few people on this earth that is qualified to make claims like this (because I have seen tens of thousands of relationships and their problems.) So, here it is.

Most exes can use you emotionally or physically.

Emotionally- This is basically when an ex boyfriend will use you for emotional support when he has no intention of getting back together with you. It is a little like being friend zoned. However, the difference is that he looks at you as a way to “boost” his confidence.

Physically- I don’t have to spell this one out for you do I? Yes? Ok, well this is basically when an ex boyfriend will use you for sex and then discard you and then try to use you for sex again.

Obviously, I am going to be going into each of these different ways in much greater detail but before I get into that I do want to make you aware of something first.

I pride myself on creating the most “in-depth” content on ex boyfriends on the internet. I am sure if you looked hard enough you would be able to find information on the many different emotional and physical ways in which an ex boyfriend can use you (I know because I looked.) However, one thing I feel you will have a lot of trouble finding is information on what to do if you are being “used” by your ex.

Well, that problem ends now because on top of providing you information about the emotional and physical ways in which you can be used I will also be dedicating just as much time and effort into showing you what to do if you are indeed being used.

But enough of that. Lets get to the goods.

He Is Using You Emotionally

emotion

I am going to tell you something about myself that may be a little embarrassing.

On the outside people think I am confident.

They think I have it all together.

The truth is on the inside I am a little insecure. I have thought a lot about what caused that insecurity and I know exactly what it was. As a child I wasn’t exactly the best looking kid. I was picked on a lot and as I grew to be a teenager it didn’t really change with the introduction of hormones and acne.

All of those years I convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough and that I was never going to be good looking. While that was a long time ago and I am happy to say that is ancient history even to this day some of those insecurities are still left over.

The funny thing is that I am not the only man with insecurities like that.

Almost all men I have met have weird insecurities like this even your ex boyfriend. I don’t care how confident he looked or how smooth he seemed to be I guarantee you that somewhere deep inside he has some strange insecurity about himself that you would have never guessed.

For example, have you ever met a guy who is extremely cocky? Almost like he is trying to prove he is extremely confident. Well, I would be willing to wager that the main reason he is so cocky is that he is trying to cover up some insecurity.

My point is that all men have insecurities (just like YOU.)

However, I have found the cure to that insecurity and so have a lot of other men out there.

What’s the cure?

It’s women!

Using Women For Confidence

confidence

I would like to offer myself up as an example for a moment here.

Imagine a little 18 year old version of me (Chris Seiter.) As I have already stated above at that age I wasn’t very confident, I didn’t think I was good looking and I was very shy around other people. Seriously, that was me in high school.

Now lets introduce an attractive girl into the mix. Lets say that this girl showers me with compliments and tells me things like,

“You are so good looking.”

or

“I love the way you make me feel.”

or

“Your the most important person in my life right now.”

Basically, this girl is laying it on pretty thick. Well, all of those compliments feel amazing because in my own head I think the opposite of what she is saying about myself. Pretty soon those horrible thoughts I was having get replaced with thoughts like,

“Wow, maybe she is right. Maybe I am good looking and I do have a lot to offer.”

The point is that the compliments and the way the girl made me feel about myself is addicting. It is almost like a blindfold has been taken off of you and you are being introduced to an entirely different world. The more girls that shower you with compliments the better the feeling.

As a man I can tell you there is no greater feeling than having a drop dead gorgeous woman wanting you. Seriously, when things are going right for me in my own personal relationships I walk out the door every day thinking,

“I am the man!”

However, that feeling, that “I am the man!” feeling, can only be accomplished if you have a beautiful girl who wants you.

This is where we get to you and your ex.

What if I told you that some men out there like the fact that they have their ex to rely on. These men have no intention of committing to you they just want to use you for the emotional support you provide. In other words, they want to use you because they know you can make them feel better about themselves.

Oh, and the most rotten part of the deal is that they have no intention of making you feel good emotionally. It is completely one sided and selfish.

How do I know this even exists you ask?

Because, I have done this before (and this is me owning up to my mistake by making you ladies aware that there are men out there like this.)

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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You Are On The Hook

hook

NOOO… not that hook.

(Sigh)

Ok, here is how this works.

You date a guy and then the guy breaks up with you. Maybe down the road you two talk and get on good terms again. Talking to you makes the guy feel really good but he never has any intention of becoming involved with you. Of course, you do want to become involved with him. Sensing this he makes a conscious decision to do something.

He feeds you my all time favorite BS line from men.

“I can’t be with you….. right now.”

I will leave it to my man Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother to provide the correct “phrasing” of how this is said:

That little “right now” phrase opens the door for him to use you emotionally. It opens the door for him to keep feeling good about himself without you getting anything in return. Essentially, that phrase is a springboard for a guy to USE you.

It puts you on the hook and once you are on that hook he can play with you as much as he wants without any repercussions (until you get off the hook and rain down hell.)

My point is simple, the words “right now” used in the context we are talking about here is never a good sign.

How To Make Him View You As An Equal Again

equals

Lets make something clear.

If you are being used either emotionally or physically then that means that the guy that is using you does not view you as his equal. I am proud to say that I have never used anyone physically (I am not that cruel) but I have used someone emotionally before.

I tell this story a little more in-depth in my book but I suppose I can splurge some of the details for you here.

Let me tell you, even though I am an extremely nice person, deep down I felt I was a little above them.

It’s like this.

If I was using someone emotionally I would feel that I have a certain power over them.

You see, in order for me to use them they would have to have feelings for me and I would have to manipulate them to say good things about me by saying things that I think they might want to hear.

(Gosh, this is really horrible I can’t believe I am telling you all this.)

Anyways, if I were able to successfully manipulate them that would give me the power of control and I guarantee you that in the back of my mind I would be thinking something like,

“I am better than her if I can do this to her.”

In other words, if someone thinks that they are better than you then that doesn’t mean they view you as an equal it means they view themselves as being above you.

So, the question that is on your mind is probably,

“How in the world can I be viewed as my exes equal?”

Well, I don’t want you to be his equal. I want you to convince him that YOU are above him. Lets turn the tables on him and make him think that you are the alpha in the relationship.

Becoming The Alpha In The Relationship

alpha male

I know that so far this guide has been a little gloomy since it is talking about women being used by men but I am about to change that. Now I would like to offer a solution for how to deal with a guy who is using you emotionally.

First things first though, since you are being used by your ex I am going to give you some required reading materials.

I would like you to read the following pages on this site after you finish reading this one:

  • The Ungettable Girl– A guide on how to become the most attractive woman in the world to your ex (I am not kidding.)
  • How To Make Your Ex Chase You– This is important because if you are able to become the “alpha” he is going to start chasing you.

If your ex boyfriend is using you then we need to put a stop to that immediately. The way you do that is by cutting him out for a little while.

A Week Long No Contact Rule

Many of you are well aware of the dreaded no contact rule.

I recommend it for pretty much everyone after a breakup. It usually goes something like this:

(Breakup Occurs = No Contact Rule (30 days) = Attempt To Get Your Ex Back)

However, if you find that you are already in the “attempting to get your ex back” stage and your ex boyfriend is using you for emotional reasons then you are in a very unique position where you can implement what I like to call a week long no contact rule.

Week Long No Contact- A period of 7 days where you can’t talk, text, call, email or respond to your ex in any way.

Why is a week long no contact rule appropriate if you are being used emotionally?

Well, if an ex is using you emotionally then he has probably gotten into the habit of talking to you pretty routinely. I want you to disrupt this routine and I want you to slowly wean him off of you. I want you to show him that life without you is miserable.

When you have him to the point where he is craving you (after 7 days of no contact) that is when it is ok to finally talk to him again.

Rules For Talking To Him

(If you want the full rules I recommend getting my Texting Bible.)

The way you talk to your ex boyfriend after the week long no contact rule is going to have to change. One thing that we have already established is the fact that your ex boyfriend is using you emotionally to feel better about himself.

He does this by manipulating you into making him feel wanted through things like compliments, feelings, etc.

Lets pretend that your ex boyfriend sends you something like this when you are texting him.

that night

(This is assuming that the two of you had some incredible night together in the past.)

A guy (or girl for that matter) who starts “reminiscing” about a good memory in the past is looking for a bit of a boost emotionally. I know this because this is what I teach women to use on men to get them reminiscing of the good times.

Well, if an ex boyfriend is using you emotionally then it is a safe bet that he is using something like the text message above to elicit a response from you that gives him an ego boost. So, don’t give him that ego boost.

  • Don’t compliment him
  • Don’t respond emotionally
  • Don’t jump through his hoops

“But what if I he never talks to me again if I do this?”

You do realize that this fool is using you, right?

Hey, sometimes in order to get the guy you have to be willing to lose the guy. Besides, you can’t have a real relationship with someone who is using you (trust me.)

Now, I am not saying that you can’t ever compliment him. You can, it’s just that you have to make him EARN your compliments.

What do you think I mean by that?

Well, if he gives you a really nice compliment then it is ok for you to return the favor because he will have earned that compliment.

Here is the thing about returning compliments though.

Your return can’t match his serve.

“Wait… I am lost… When did we start talking about tennis?”

A professional tennis player can serve a tennis ball as high as 140 MPH. Obviously, when the tennis player is getting ready to serve the ball there is someone across the net getting ready to return that serve. So, lets say that a tennis player tosses the ball up and serves it at 140 MPH. The person across the net successfully returns the serve but their return of serve isn’t coming back across the net at 140 MPH. It may come back across the net at something like 90 MPH.

140 MPH > 90 MPH

This same analogy needs to be applied to compliments. Lets say that you make your ex boyfriend earn your compliment by him giving you a compliment first. Well, if you decide you would like to return the favor by giving him a compliment your compliment cannot match the intensity of his.

Hmm…

In other words,

If his compliment = 140 MPH

Your compliment has to be = 90 MPH

Do you get it?

He Is Using You Physically

physical

This is really the section that I feel most of you will be interested in.

Even if you aren’t being used physically then I am still sure you are interested in what I have to say here.

So, what is defined as being used physically?

Many of you commonly know it as friends with benefits. In other words, where two consenting people decide not to officially date but still have the physical benefits like sex, kissing, etc. Before I dive in to what I am going to say I just want to give you a quick warning. I am going to be touching on a very complex subject here. I am going to be blunt, truthful and I guarantee that if you are being used physically what I have to say here is going to hurt (you may even cry.)

I am serious, I am not one of those experts that is going to tell people what they want to hear. You came here for the truth so here it is.

Friends With Benefits WILL Fail

fwb

It’s the dumbest idea ever.

Whoever thought up the idea of friends with benefits should be slapped. No matter what someone is going to get hurt, guaranteed.

I realize that, that is a pretty bold statement for me to make but let me put it this way. Every single woman on this site who thought it might be a good idea to become friends with benefits with their exes has been hurt. Oh, and that is not an exaggeration. Think about that for a moment.

EVERY SINGLE WOMEN ON THIS SITE WHO WAS FWB WITH AN EX HAS ENDED UP HURT.

That means there is a 0% chance that becoming friends with benefits is going to work in your favor. I remember years ago I used to wonder,

“Why do people think it’s a good idea?”

Well, I have talked to hundreds of women who have been in a FWB type of situation and I finally have my answer. Women think that sex with their exes is going to somehow create some spark and all of a sudden he may commit to them. Maybe they heard some story about how it worked for one person (which I guess is not impossible.)

The only problem is that through this site I can pull out actual statistics of success and here is the OVERWHELMING result:

0% of women who are FWB with their exes end up getting them back.

The truth is that sex is a riskier proposition for women. Every time you become intimate with someone you run the risk of becoming pregnant. Men don’t have that kind of consequence when they have sex. Sure, we understand that you ladies can become pregnant but we don’t actually feel it like you do. Trust me there is a difference between feeling it can happen and understanding it can happen.

So, your olive branch of becoming friends with benefits with a guy means more to you than it does to us. In the mind of a man here is all that goes on,

“WHOA… free sex.”

This leads me to my next point, the slut factor.

The Slut Factor

slut

Men who use women emotionally and physically do have something in common.

They both think that they are above women.

There is one big difference though, men who use women physically will think that the woman is a slut.

Oh, you don’t think that your lovely ex boyfriend could possibly think that about you?

Think again.

You want to know something about men? We can think a woman is a slut and never tell her. Take me for example. If I think to myself,

“Wow, she is kind of slutty.”

Do you think I would ever tell that particular girl that? I am pretty sure that you could give me truth serum and I still wouldn’t tell her that. However, it would be in the back of my mind at all times. Besides, what guy wants to screw up the prospect of free sex by telling you that you are a slut?

My point is this, any guy who thinks that you are a slut isn’t going to respect you. Sure, they may say nice things to you but in this case you have to always question their motives.

“Do they really mean all those nice things they are saying or are they just trying to get in my pants?”

Food for thought?

The Problem With Friends With Benefits

problem

I am pretty open minded when I do research for this website. I like to take in all kinds of perspectives and then apply it to my own philosophy. In an attempt to try to justify a friends with benefits relationship (which I don’t) I wanted to see what some of the rules were to having a successful one.

I read multiple articles from multiple different sources and eventually came up with three recurring rules that all the articles had in common.

  1. Don’t fall in love.
  2. Show emotional maturity.
  3. No Cuddling.

Lets break down all the little problems that accompany each of these little rules.

Don’t Fall In Love

This one seems to be really important. Any of the guides out there on FWB that were worth reading all included “not falling in love.”

That’s a problem for our purposes because chances are pretty high that if you are trying to get your ex boyfriend back you are already in love with him. Besides, when it comes to something as intimate as sex it is really hard to not fall for the other person that you experience it with.

With everything I know about relationships one thing I see time and time again is that when sex is involved someone is going to get attached and therein lies our problem. Somewhere down the road someone is going to get attached and ultimately end up hurt if their feelings aren’t reciprocated.

Show Emotional Maturity

If you have entered into a friends with benefits type of situation that already tells me that you are not very mature.

Would you like to know what a mature adult would do?

They wouldn’t get themselves into a FWB situation. Now, I don’t know about you but I think it is pretty darn hard to remain unemotional when sex is involved. When it comes to something where you practically give your mind, body and soul over to another human being that is a pretty darn emotional experience.

(God, I sound so corny.)

Here is my point.

I don’t know many women who can remain “mature” when sex is involved and their guy is still allowed to sleep with other women (which is what friends with benefits sets you up for.) If you are cool with the idea of your sexual partner being able to sleep with others then you are more “mature” than I am.

But then again maybe you aren’t because I would never put myself in a situation where I would allow that to happen and you shouldn’t either.

No Cuddling

This is kind of a weird rule isn’t it?

Yet somehow it kept showing up on article after article so I decided to include it.

Oh, and just so you know never in my wildest dreams did I expect to be talking about cuddling on this page but I figured I would since apparently it is “essential” to friends with benefits. Now, the FWB experts out there say no to cuddling.

They recommend the (Wham, Bam, Thank You Mam) approach to sex.

In other words, you do the deed and then someone just immediately leaves afterwards. No cuddling necessary.

Here is the problem with that. Sex is this emotional experience, its powerful and it means something, blah blah blah blah blah (you get what I am going for.) Of course, you are going to want to cuddle afterwards. Eventually, the lack of cuddling is going to lead to some hurt feelings and SHOCKER someone is going to feel used.

How To Deal With Friends With Benefits

deal with it

I am going to assume that you are being used by your ex boyfriend for sex.

“To raw?”

Ok, I am going to assume that you are friends with benefits with your ex boyfriend.

Now, what has probably happened is that YOU want something more (him to commit) but he doesn’t want that something more.

(Refer to the “How I Met Your Mother Hook reference” above for more details on how this works.)

The question you are probably wondering is how you can make him commit to you if you are in this tricky situation. Well, the truth is that you can’t make him do anything. However, what you can do is change the rules of the game on him and see how much you really mean to him.

Sounds drastic doesn’t it?

Well, let me ask you something.

Does the man of your dreams only care about sex? Does he only care about using you physically? Something tells me that he doesn’t. Something tells me that the man of your dreams can meet your physical AND emotional needs. Right now your ex boyfriend isn’t meeting your emotional needs. Heck, he isn’t even meeting your physical needs because if you are honest with yourself you know that your physical and emotional needs are almost intertwined.

Right now all your ex boyfriend is doing is meeting HIS physical needs.

So, lets change the rules a little bit.

Stop having sex with him….

No Sex Until He Commits

You want to see how much you really mean to your ex boyfriend (who is using you?)

Take sex off the table and watch what happens.

I know men (especially the ones who use women) and most men will get very upset that you take sex off the table. They will play the victim card. They will make it out like this is all your fault (when it’s theirs.) Some men will issue threats about how they will go out and find ten other women to sleep with. Others may refuse to talk to you for a while. Oh, and my personal favorite are the guys that have the audacity to keep trying to sleep with you after you have made it clear that you won’t.

That’s what I would like to talk about now.

Right now you know what you need to do, take sex off the table. However, it is very important how you deliver this message to your ex boyfriend.

You need to make it clear that you are feeling used by him and that while you enjoyed your time together you can’t do it anymore. Your issue is the fact that he won’t commit to you.

The commitment point is important. Make it clear that this was the prime reasoning for ending the friends with benefits relationship.

Realize that this isn’t meant to have a breakup vibe to it. This is simply you saying that you won’t sleep with him until he commits to you. Nothing else about your relationship has to change. Just the sex part.

Do this and watch the fireworks fly!

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348 thoughts on “How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Is Using You”

  1. Avatar

    Alana

    November 25, 2019 at 9:40 am

    I think my ex may have been using me physically the entire relationship.. not just after.
    he was my first boyfriend, were together for a year and started dating almost from day 1 of meeting each other.
    I’m seeing now we didn’t really have much of a relationship apart from sex. We never did much apart from stay at my place, He introduced me to his friends at the very start But after that he basically kept me seperate from everyone he knew, when they would call while he was with me he would say he’s at home and too tired to hang out with them, his family never even knew about me.
    A previous comment mention her ex was Muslim and could not commit because of that.
    My ex is Muslim too- and so am i (well my family is) i think I’m spiritual instead of religious.
    My ex claims to be super religious but does heaps of things against it (drinks, does drugs, is promiscuous).
    Now I think he’s a hypocrite who had no respect for me, looked down on me and just used me for sex from the very start, and here’s why-
    Long story short at one point I did exotic dancing because I needed extra cash to provide for myself. I told him this on day 1 because I value honesty and he said it was ok, he understands and doesn’t judge me for it.
    Then a year later out of the blue he breaks up with me over text saying he can’t see a future with me because of his religion, he cannot see past what I used to do for money it’s too big of a deal – but we can still be friend.
    Stupid me falls into FWB and here I am a year after the break up just realising all this while he got an extra year of free sex out of me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 25, 2019 at 5:02 pm

      Hi Alana, I think religious differences are quite common break ups these days as many cultures live together. However if he is ending things with you because you are not living in a certain way, but then is breaking the religion rules himself it makes him a hypocrite. Now the question is do you want him back or not? First thing you need to do is stop sleeping with him 100% and go into a no contact and do not break that for at least 30 days.

  2. Avatar

    Victoria Frutos

    October 27, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    reading this had me bawling my eyes out. It really defined the vulnerability in me. You are right. Emotional people do get messed with often. I am tired of being taken advantage of. Where was this when I needed to see this earlier. Thank God for your honesty Chris. Really saved me from my own hypocrisy. Let’s break the cycle ladies, our hearts are way to big and our beauty is way too radiant to be crying over someone that just doesn’t seem to SEE it.

  3. Avatar

    Nic

    June 15, 2019 at 3:54 am

    Hello,

    Long story short – My ex (he ended the relationship) and I haven’t been physically intimate for 4 months, I had nc with him for a month and he messaged me, I wanted to see him one last time, he said he couldn’t guarantee it, he unblocked me from snapchat and attempted sexting, me being weak I sent him a photo. I sent him a snap a day or two later and he responded with “not doing this small talk everyday, why didn’t you ask me this thing again, it was probably a mistake messaging you again” Told him it wasn’t my intention, that he shouldn’t get that msg confused and assume I’m going back to old ways, and to get his head out of his ass and stop assuming I’m going to start shit up again. Regret saying this part but wanted to see if he’d block me and tell me go get stuffed. Here goes : Small talk terminated if you want a pic or clip treatment me with respect. Had no response and I left it, Back to day 1 of nc.

    Your article has helped and you are definitely right, that I’m not a mature adult for allowing this to happen even if it’s through social media apps, its only at his convenience and not worth his time, he has no emotion towards me, I need to stick to my guns and tell him that I’m busy and don’t have the time to fill his boredom.

    Thanks for this article, if only I had read it earlier.

  4. Avatar

    Lisha

    June 13, 2019 at 9:29 am

    It’s so useful

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 13, 2019 at 2:45 pm

      I am glad Lisha that you found the article helpful

  5. Avatar

    Nora

    May 17, 2019 at 3:48 am

    Ex and I still have amazing sex and we still rely on each other as confidants. He says he loves me as a best friend. Even now that he is engaged to someone who believes in abstinence outside of marriage. He’ll sleep with me and tell me things he’s stressed about, including their relationship. I kept thinking it was his emotional bond with me that led him back to me for intimacy and I thought it would lead him back to me for life but they are planning the wedding. He wants kids and a Christian wife who is younger than him (I am older). because of my job I have to interact with him, and soon her, too. Will I have to watch them be ‘happily ever after’? What am I to him, really?

  6. Avatar

    Hola

    November 23, 2018 at 5:26 pm

    We were in a 10-month relationship and he told me we should stop because we have no future (he’s a Muslim and I have no religion). We were having strong sexual chemistry for each other. We haven’t had sex or met for a month since the break-up ( he texted me a few times but I did not reply because I was angry and apply no contact) until a few days ago I called him and he was very happy to hear my voice and he started wanting to do booty call as if we are still in relationship (we were in long distant relationship for 8 months). He told me his miss me and even told me to come to his place and stay as long as I want. He told me I am the best girl that he ever dated. But he still cannot commit to me (because of his family and his religion). I had sex through the phone with him but haven’t done it in real life since then. I think I am falling into his trap. Maybe he is using me for sex. I know I should be more rational but he seems still care about me, that makes me hesitate in blocking him from my phone and move on

  7. Avatar

    Lee

    November 17, 2018 at 8:10 am

    Hi,

    My ex broke up with me after a big fight after 14 months together and says he can’t be with me bc he wants to focus on himself and doesn’t want to be emotionally connected to me anymore. He says bc of my dependence and neediness he lost himself in our relationship but says he still loves me. I kept calling and texting him to give me a chance. And he would just say no. I was pretty desperate. And then we both agreed friendship would be good. But we slept together and he wanted fwb and I got upset bc he still didn’t want to be emotionally connected to me. So I blocked him and told him to never contact me again. What can I do? Can this relationship still be saved???

  8. Avatar

    J

    August 6, 2018 at 4:18 pm

    Hi Chris. Thank you so much for this article. This is really helpful. I also need you expertise. My ex and I went through a ridiculously messy break up in 2015. But we met each other few times in the last 3 yrs. We had sex occassionally. He knows I still want him back and we met again over the weekend. He told me he misses me and wanted to have sex. I told him about my needs. I needed to feel secure and asked him to compromise when he said he’s just too busy. I also told him we need to learn how to communicate and take our time to know each other again. Long story short, we didn’t have sex. We barely talk anyway. I texted him when I got home and never heard back from him. What should be my next step?(if there’s any). Thanks!

  9. Avatar

    Confused

    April 12, 2018 at 2:01 pm

    I can’t tell if my ex-boyfriend is using me – My ex and I broke up in a big explosion – We were living together and he moved out – We are talking again (actually started talking pretty quickly after the breakup) – We talk every day for long periods of time (hours) – When I am at work or he is at work we are texting constantly – He is telling me he loves me and misses me – He has come over and yes we “did it” each time – I have told him that I want him back but he is “on the fence” because he is afraid the past will repeat itself – He is happy with how things are going because we are getting along better but is remaining on the “fence” for now and is telling me to be patient – He sometimes refers to the future but not the far future – I just can’t tell if he is using me

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 12, 2018 at 4:39 pm

      HI Confused! Yep, guys can be confusing. I think he is trying to get connected with his feelings. Just go it slow. Time will tell what his intentions are. If you push some guys too hard, they get skittish. Make yourself a bit less available. He needs to learn to value you more and appreciate you more. And consider picking up one of my ebooks that cover a lot of different breakup topics which you can find on my website Menu/Products section.

    2. Avatar

      Brenda

      April 12, 2018 at 5:17 pm

      How do I make myself less available? He is on the road a lot so if I choose not to see him by making myself less available then I don’t get to see him –

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 12, 2018 at 10:00 pm

      Hi Brenda….gotcha. Good point. There are other ways you can rebuild attraction. Too little time and space to cover it all here, but check out my other posts and my ebooks as I cover off lots of things to deal with many types of scenarios.

  10. Avatar

    Nora

    March 24, 2018 at 4:38 pm

    My ex broke up with me in a very public fashion and refused to even text me back for nearly 2 months. Then all of a sudden he comes back in my life, saying that he doesn’t want to lose me. He doesn’t wanna be in a relationship with me, but says that the only girl he would ever want to marry is me. We haven’t had sex after the breakup, but he’s moving away to another country in 6 months for higher education. I’m lost. I don’t know what to do.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 29, 2018 at 8:31 pm

      Hi Nora,

      Why did he break up with you?

  11. Avatar

    Emery

    February 17, 2018 at 12:43 pm

    I miss my ex. As much as I try to move on it’s honestly been hard for me. The problem is that every single time we hang out we end up having sex. I know it’s not right but I get caught up in the moment and it happens. What hurts me the most is that I finally realized that he tells me things I want to hear and once we have sex he acts different.its been like that for quite a while. We stopped talking for 3 weeks and i decided to contact him. I questioned him why he acts the way he does, and he tells me that because of all the shady stuff I have done and that I would always act like I was single and that no guy would want to put up with that and we also had other issues, I then told him if he couldn’t forgive me because of the past why would he tell me things I wanted to hear to get what he wanted which was sex? He would of course deny it and I would question him again and he wouldn’t reply and i would question him again and he said i don’t want to argue with you. I’m so sad because i still care for him and I’m sad that he might not look for me 🙁 but I also want to show my worth and value. What should I do? 🙁

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 19, 2018 at 4:26 pm

      Hi Emery,

      Start with yourself by having standards and practicing it. People who respect themselves, get rid or avoid people who don’t respect them.. In result, they only surround themselves with people who are only in their standards or who respect them and when people can see and know that you respect yourself they will respect you too.. If not then avoid those people.

  12. Avatar

    Jasmine

    August 25, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I still live together, and we have had sex. I tried initiating sex a week ago, and he said that we were having too much sex and girls get more emotional when sex is involved. So I said fine and did not insist. A few days later, he was trying to initiate it and I kept rejecting. I told him it was not a good idea, and we are only friends. He insisted on and off for about an hour and half. He finally gave up. He said he was sorry for being a jerk (not sure if he meant for insisting or about the whole break up). We went to bed, he cuddled and he put his head on my chest. I acted indifferent and didn’t hug back and just laid there. This morning I did ask if he wanted a quickie, and he said don’t tease. I said I was just kidding and he pinned me down. I told him it was fun to tease him. Honestly, I am having pleasure seeing him squirm and not getting anything in return. I have been doing my own activities, been happy when I’m around him. We have been a bit flirty with each other, and he has initiated messages during the day and replies when I message him. We still go grocery shopping and have dinner together. We went to church together last Sunday and he asked me out to lunch afterwards. When he talks about the house or the dog he always says “we”, for example “We should train Abbey to do this…” He even offered to drop me off to my friends birthday party this past weekend, which he was supposed to attend before the break up. I asked if he still wanted to come and he said no. Is there anything else I could do to have him commit, or am I being impatient?

    He had previously told me that we shouldn’t do activities together and we shouldn’t have sex, but then the complete opposite happens. We don’t hang out with each other friends anymore, but we still do things on our own.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 26, 2017 at 12:43 pm

  13. Avatar

    Tala

    July 15, 2017 at 5:17 am

    Okay so me and my ex are acting like a couple but we’re not dating.So one day we were talking on Instagram alot at night but then after we’re done talking and everything was fine I woke up the next mourning to open the messages I found out that he deleted his texts that we where talking and he deleted all his texts from 2 days ago with me and my texts were left afcourse bc he can’t delete them. And I want to text him and ask him why did he delete his texts that we had yesterday but I’m too scared that something will happen or he’ll say something that I won’t like or he won’t even have an excuse. I just want to know why did he delete his texts that day and why would he do that and also there was nothing we were fine and everything so I don’t know what went wrong and I’m overthinking please help!

    1. Avatar

      Tala

      July 30, 2017 at 3:24 am

      Ya after that I didn’t text him to show him I don’t care or I’m not begging for him.thanks for your advice and one last thing do u think he still cares for me? Because our relation like not a date just the fact that we really understand each other and we have this connection and inside jokes also he always makes me feel better about myself and even before dating him from before he use to tease me and we were like best friends.like he understands me even there was a lot of time where he see me crying he can’t take it he just comes to me and hugs and and give me advices. And my close friends even when they knew we broke up they think he he’s still a good guy and I think that too. Like he never forced me on anything he was always nice to me!

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 31, 2017 at 2:00 pm

      Truth is, if he doesn’t want you to expect that means he doesn’t want to be in a relationship..I still he cares but that doesn’t mean it’s enough to want to commit

    3. Avatar

      Tala

      July 26, 2017 at 3:29 am

      Well I hope his memory is full.so I asked him why did he do that and he said he doesn’t like to keep his messages he says what if one day his dad or his relatives see the messages then I said ok. That’s all he said.But what’s more weird is that he used to text me every night now after he deleted the messages not all just that night when we texted, he stopped messaging me and it’s been like 2-3 weeks till now he never texted me after and I want to meet with him again like last time we met.Can u pls tell me if u know what going on or give me some advice on why he stopped texting.Bc I know for sure I didn’t do anything wrong with him and I don’t think he’s seeing a girl from my side of view

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 29, 2017 at 5:54 pm

      It can mean he doesn’t want you to expect or string you along. Why not try the no contact rule?

    5. Avatar

      Tala

      July 23, 2017 at 6:24 pm

      Do u think he’s seeing a new girl from ur side of thinking bc after that he stopped texting

    6. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 5:23 pm

      just curious if he is,because I can’t think of any reason for now on why he would suddenly delete it, unless you had a fight with him, or maybe he’s phone memory is full.

    7. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 7:57 pm

      is he seeing a new girl?

  14. Avatar

    Sarah

    June 30, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    Hi, I wanna ask. I’ve already given him the message that I wont continue being FWB anymore and I’ve mentioned about wanting commitment if he is ever going to want to be intimate again with me. (Btw he has a gf now and its been months i guess) But I have a question, since I’ve been reading your ebooks, do I do the NC or not with this type of situation? I gave him the sort of break up message yesterday and today is my first day of NC. Do I just continue befriending him like usual and just putting the “physical needs aka sex” aside or entirely shut him off and do the NC rule? I need help with this. Thanks Chris n Co

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 30, 2017 at 5:09 pm

      Yup you should do nc

  15. Avatar

    Maya

    June 9, 2017 at 3:26 am

    My comment won’t post I don’t know why or maybe I don’t see it but I need help…

    1. Avatar

      Maya

      July 1, 2017 at 8:28 am

      Hi again Amor,

      So I still don’t know what to do. I have talked to him telling him how there will be no us sleeping together ever and no more touching just normal friends and he agreed. But I have realised that I want to him back and now i’m afraid I will be stuck in his friendzone for ever because I told him that I didn’t want a relationship too and just wanted to be his friend also (I said that so we could talk still because I don’t want to lose him) But now I don’t want to end up hurt because he friendzoned me.. What should I do? I’m also going on a one month trip in a week so I thought maybe while there I could do NC but I don’t know how I would explain it without me souding stupid for lying about my feelinfgs …

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 4, 2017 at 8:33 pm

      Just continue being friendly and being ungettable..remain interesting so that he would want more of you

    3. Avatar

      Maya

      June 9, 2017 at 4:34 pm

      Hi Amor Thank you for answering! and sorry about all the messages I couldn’t see if it was sending or not. Anyways this happened on Tuesday and now it’s Friday and he hasn’t talked to me. It looks like he didn’t get what he wanted from me so he isn’t talking to me anymore but idk what to think … and I don’t think he is that evil! I don’t know what to do should I talk to him or wait? Also when I asked him what he liked most about me he directly said a physical trait which was weird.

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 13, 2017 at 6:59 pm

      It’s not really evill.. Though he is being a jerk but he thougt he can try but it didn’t work..even if you werent really fwb, you can still
      Check this one:
      EBR 006: How To Turn Friends With Benefits Into A Relationship

    5. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 9, 2017 at 3:37 pm

      HI Maya,

      he might have feelings but he doesn’t want to commit and instead of doing that, he’s aiming to be friends with benefits. Good that you don’t want to sleep with him.. You need to avoid being alone with him for now.

  16. Avatar

    MayaH

    June 9, 2017 at 3:20 am

    Hi! My ex and I dated for a year and a half and he broke up with me 9 months ago in July. We started talking this month and hanging out again. We acted couple-ish for a month (cuddling while watching a movie at his place and dates/activities but no kissing and no sex) He kissed me on the forehead and on the cheek. Anyways last week we hanged out and he said he didn’t want a relationship with anyone and that he likes how this is going (our friendship) and that maybe one day that would change. I didn’t react that well not only because that day I was in a lonely and depression mood (personal life) and also I’m not as in love with him anymore but there is still some feelings and care for him at this point i’ve grown reattached in a way. He was also my first boyfriend and first and only sexual experience. We saw eachother again the same week and I told him I felt the same way (that I want to be friends too) and that day was a bad day that’s I acted that way. I said that because we have a lot of fun together and it would be a shame to not have him in my life anymore he makes me happy and laugh a lot We always had a great friendship during our relationship but we broke up because of communication problems and fights. I’ve noticed that he talks a lot of having sex with me (I thought he was joking) but I have told him and he knows that I don’t have sex with anyone until the tag boyfriend is there – my golden rule (that’s why also I had no one after him) But I saw him today we went out and then watched a movie at his place. Things got a little heated up without kissing but I stopped him before he could go further and before that we were cuddling during the movie. When I stopped him we started cuddling again and he didn’t want me to leave he wanted to watch another movie but i told him it was getting late and I had to leave. He said he missed me while cuddling and that he is still really attracted to me. Now my question is he just using me for sex and emotionally? or is it something else i’m really confused. Oh and also He didn’t have anyone after me either not even sexually (I confirmed it with a trusty friend of mine and his) it surprised me. And we talked, before he said he didn’t want a relationship, about how this time we would communicate more and not do the same things in the past so past issues won’t come up again and he talks a lot about me in his future and future actives we can do etc. Anyways i’m super confused and I want to know if he’s lying to me and telling me what I want to hear or if I have a shot of getting him back at least in the future not right the second I know it takes time. He compliments me a lot. Help please!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 13, 2017 at 5:07 pm

      HI Maya,

      he might have feelings but he doesn’t want to commit and instead of doing that, he’s aiming to be friends with benefits. Good that you don’t want to sleep with him.. You need to avoid being alone with him for now.

  17. Avatar

    Maya

    June 7, 2017 at 5:54 am

    Hi! My ex and I dated for a year and a half and he broke up with me 9 months ago in July. We started talking this month and hanging out again. We acted couple-ish for a month (cuddling while watching a movie at his place and dates/activities but no kissing and no sex) He kissed me on the forehead and on the cheek. Anyways last week we hanged out and he said he didn’t want a relationship with anyone and that he likes how this is going (our friendship) and that maybe one day that would change. I didn’t react that well not only because that day I was in a lonely and depression mood (personal life) and also I’m not as in love with him anymore but there is still some feelings and care for him at this point i’ve grown reattached in a way. He was also my first boyfriend and first and only sexual experience. We saw eachother again the same week and I told him I felt the same way (that I want to be friends too) and that day was a bad day that’s I acted that way. I said that because we have a lot of fun together and it would be a shame to not have him in my life anymore he makes me happy and laugh a lot We always had a great friendship during our relationship but we broke up because of communication problems and fights. I’ve noticed that he talks a lot of having sex with me (I thought he was joking) but I have told him and he knows that I don’t have sex with anyone until the tag boyfriend is there – my golden rule (that’s why also I had no one after him) But I saw him today we went out and then watched a movie at his place. Things got a little heated up without kissing but I stopped him before he could go further and before that we were cuddling during the movie. When I stopped him we started cuddling again and he didn’t want me to leave he wanted to watch another movie but i told him it was getting late and I had to leave. He said he missed me while cuddling and that he is still really attracted to me. Now my question is he just using me for sex and emotionally? or is it something else i’m really confused. Oh and also He didn’t have anyone after me either not even sexually (I confirmed it with a trusty friend of mine and his) it surprised me. And we talked, before he said he didn’t want a relationship, about how this time we would communicate more and not do the same things in the past so past issues won’t come up again and he talks a lot about me in his future and future actives we can do etc. Anyways i’m super confused and I want to know if he’s lying to me and telling me what I want to hear or if I have a shot of getting him back at least in the future not right the second I know it takes time. He compliments me a lot. Help please!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 9, 2017 at 3:38 pm

  18. Avatar

    Maya

    June 7, 2017 at 5:50 am

    Hi! My ex and I dated for a year and a half and he broke up with me 9 months ago in July. We started talking this month and hanging out again. We acted couple-ish for a month (cuddling while watching a movie at his place and dates/activities but no kissing and no sex) He kissed me on the forehead and on the cheek. Anyways last week we hanged out and he said he didn’t want a relationship with anyone and that he likes how this is going (our friendship) and that maybe one day that would change. I didn’t react that well not only because that day I was in a lonely and depression mood (personal life) and also I’m not as in love with him anymore but there is still some feelings and care for him at this point i’ve grown reattached in a way. He was also my first boyfriend and first and only sexual experience. We saw eachother again the same week and I told him I felt the same way (that I want to be friends too) and that day was a bad day that’s I acted that way. I said that because we have a lot of fun together and it would be a shame to not have him in my life anymore he makes me happy and laugh a lot We always had a great friendship during our relationship but we broke up because of communication problems and fights. I’ve noticed that he talks a lot of having sex with me (I thought he was joking) but I have told him and he knows that I don’t have sex with anyone until the tag boyfriend is there – my golden rule (that’s why also I had no one after him) But I saw him today we went out and then watched a movie at his place. Things got a little heated up without kissing but I stopped him before he could go further and before that we were cuddling during the movie. When I stopped him we started cuddling again and he didn’t want me to leave he wanted to watch another movie but i told him it was getting late and I had to leave. He said he missed me while cuddling and that he is still really attracted to me. Now my question is he just using me for sex and emotionally? or is it something else i’m really confused. Oh and also He didn’t have anyone after me either not even sexually (I confirmed it with a trusty friend of mine and his) it surprised me. And we talked, before he said he didn’t want a relationship, about how this time we would communicate more and not do the same things in the past so past issues won’t come up again and he talks a lot about me in his future and future actives we can do etc. Anyways i’m super confused and I want to know if he’s lying to me and telling me what I want to hear or if I have a shot of getting him back at least in the future not right the second I know it takes time. He compliments me a lot. Help please!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 9, 2017 at 3:38 pm

      HI Maya,

      he might have feelings but he doesn’t want to commit and instead of doing that, he’s aiming to be friends with benefits. Good that you don’t want to sleep with him.. You need to avoid being alone with him for now.

  19. Avatar

    Lisa

    May 9, 2017 at 5:05 am

    I am in the texting phase. So far, I have sent 2 texts, which he has responded positively to both so far. Last week, he text me. This was the convo:
    Him- hey what are you doing tonight? You wanna come over?
    Me- hey that’s sweet of you to think of me but last minute doesn’t work for my schedule. I’m on my way out but let me know if you want to plan something next week.
    Him- yeah I took a shot in the dark we’ll have fun! I’ll hit you up for something next week.

    Does this sound like a booty call to you?

    1. Avatar

      Alyssa

      May 15, 2017 at 11:42 am

      Hi, my ex and I have been broken up for a year or so. We have been sleeping together since January. He still won’t commit, so I told him I felt used and I am not dealing with it anymore. I blocked him and he blocked me back. (On instagram) We have been on and off since 2014. The past few months he has just been inviting me over his house. I am sick of it and I finally let my feelings known. Before we blocked each other, he said we should stop seeing each other because I am getting the wrong idea. We keep fighting over everything, there is no communication. He is jealous of other guys in my life, but refuses to commit. He has blocked me and unblocked me so many times. Should I keep him blocked forever or is there hope? I love him but I am sick of the back and forth. Blocking was my last resort to see how he’ll act when doing so.

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      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2017 at 4:40 pm

      Hi Alyssa,

      please check the advice on this one:
      Sleeping with Your Ex Boyfriend… Does It Work?

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      Lisa

      May 11, 2017 at 10:56 pm

      It was at 7 pm

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      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 12, 2017 at 7:22 pm

      it’s not that late but he invited you to his house at night, it does sound like a booty call

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      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 11, 2017 at 5:47 pm

      if it was late at night, yes

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    Emery

    May 1, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    So I’m so confused because my ex and I broke up 5 months ago. And till then we have never had at least a month of no contact. For some reason my ex tends to contact me. &he doesn’t even ask me to hang out. He texts me random things. I always argue with him and tell him to stop playing games and using me. This week he called me and yesterday he text me telling me hope you had fun last night and I told him thanks hope you did too and he said he stayed home because he had stuff to do in the morning. I told him okay and good night. He didn’t respond. Is he just emotionally using me? It’s been 5 months already and he has not even tried to see me just text.

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      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 2, 2017 at 6:30 pm

      if you replied and talk to him during nc, that’s not nc.. if you did it right, you have to build rapport slowly after that through initiating texts first, then calls then meet ups while continuing to improve yourself

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