By EBR Team Member: Ashley

So it seems really weird that you are in a situation where a person that loved and cared about you so much doesn’t even want to speak to you…

It’s unsettling and hurtful. It’s a difficult pill to swallow, right?

These thoughts are probably going through your head right now…

“Why won’t he talk to me?”

“We’ve known each other for 3 years! We’ve done so much together!”

“How could he just toss me aside like that? He’s told me so many times he loves me!”

You probably spend hours obsessed with what he’s thinking. You are enamored as to why he won’t speak to you.

Unfortunately, this is all very typical of an ex after a breakup.

There are a lot of reasons why your ex may not want to talk to you.

And we will talk about those today, along with some other things.

  1. Why Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Talk To You
  2. What Your Options Are In Dealing With This
  3. How To Make Him Contact You First

Why Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Talk To You

Now I could bust out a long list of reasons covering why your ex might not be cool with talking to you… right now. That “right now” is important. Remember that “right now.” We’ll talk about it again.

Actually, you know what? I AM going to give you a long list of reasons.

You ready?

  • Your Ex Could Be Over You
  • He Could Be Involved In a Rebound
  • It Could Be Painful For Your Ex To See Or Talk To You After The Breakup
  • Your Ex Could Be Mad At You

Now, I want to talk about these for a minute before we move on.

First things first, your ex could be over you.

I put that one first because it is least likely. And it’s the one you are least likely to want to hear. So… it’s out of the way.

Besides, it takes time to get over someone. It doesn’t just happen overnight. Why do you think you miss your ex so much?

If you could will that love for them away you would wouldn’t you?

And what is the one thing people keep telling you it’s gonna take?

Time, right?

And if time has passed it’s still unlikely, because it generally takes a lot of time.

Then, there’s the pain.

Breakups suck, man… for both the Breaker and the Break-ee. (Is that a word? Well, it is now.)

The pain of a breakup can be comparable to having someone you love pass away.

Now, I will venture to say that everyone reading this has lost someone at some point, even if it was a pet.

After a breakup, you start to wonder some things you might wonder if you lost someone,

“Is he gone forever?”

“How can I even begin to move on?”

“I am so heartbroken. Can I just lay in bed and cry all day?”

Well, believe it or not, your ex will go through some version of that too. So, if your ex refuses to talk to you, it could be because he is hurting still from the breakup.

Or, if your breakup was a particularly messy one and he ended up being mad at you, it could just be that he isn’t over that initial anger. This is probably likely if the two of you had a fight or an argument that led up to the breakup.

There is another reason that could cause this communication freeze out. You aren’t going to want to think about this one either.

If he is in a rebound relationship, he might be respecting her feelings or wishes by cutting you out. Which bodes well for you because that means she’s insecure in general, in the relationship, or both. Eventually, he’ll have enough of that. being insecure is not attractive.

No matter what, you have options as to what you can do that will bring him back. If you do it right, you could win him back for good.

Is There A Chance Your Ex Will Take You Back?
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What Your Options Are In Dealing With This

Aw… guess what… another list!!

  • You Can Chase
  • You Can Beg
  • You Can Wish
  • You Can Pray

OR…

I said OR…

  • You Can Get Him Back

Let me say that again…

You. Can. Get. Him. Back.

Yeah. Yeah. I know that “You Can Chase” one sounds like a great idea right now while you’re missing him. Right?

Wrong!

You shouldn’t chase or beg. And you definitely shouldn’t sit around wishing, hoping or, praying for him to come back.

That last one though… it’s the one.

You should definitely do that. You should definitely NOT do whatever you are thinking about doing. Instead, you should finish reading this article before you do anything.

Let’s get your ex back.

You know what I am gonna say now, right?

Well, if you thought I was going to tell you how to get him back using Ex Boyfriend Recovery tactics… you would be right!

How To Make Him Contact You First

Okay, so your first instinct to make him contact you would be to contact him.

Trust me. I know. I’ve been there.

And I’ve watched thousands of women come through the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Group and every single one of them has that urge to contact their ex.

Can you guess what the first thing I am going to tell you NOT to do?

Our first step of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Process is actually called No Contact.

If you guessed that it means that you ABSOLUTELY should NOT contact your ex. You would be 100% correct.

At EBR we have three different lengths of time for No Contact based on your specific situation, 21, 30, or 45 days.

If you are missing your ex, everything in your mind will tell you to contact him in some manner.

And I am here to say… that your mind is wrong.

Fight that urge, because No Contact is effective and it will effectively make your ex realize that he misses you too.

During this time, you will want to just sit around and wait for his call. If you do that you will be miserable and you will not get your ex back.

I bet you are wondering,

“what am I supposed to do for 21, 30, or 45 days?”

Well, the answer for that is to become an Ungettable Girl. I know that’s another unfamiliar

Essentially, becoming Ungettable is becoming the best version of yourself.

But if you want a more detailed description here is a link to several articles:

The Ungettable Girl

The 6 Things That Are Keeping You From Being Ungettable

How to Be Confident When You Feel Like Crap After a Breakup

Essentially, during this time you are going to work on a few aspects of your life. We call these aspects The Holy Trinity. They are Health, Wealth, and Relationships.

What you are going to do is make improvements in these areas of your life.

For example, for health you would possibly choose to focus your energy on exercise or nutrition.

For wealth, you might try and shoot for a promotion or a raise. You could learn how to manage your finances. You could make an investment or several.

For relationships, it could be with your family. It could be with your friends. It could be with yourself.

And this isn’t just to fill the time. While you are creating space and distance, your ex will start to miss you. Once you get through No Contact, you get to reconnect with your ex and build rapport with him.

Imagine this. What will be more effective?

“Hi! I’m so glad you agreed to have coffee. You look great. Yeah, absolutely nothing has changed since we broke up. All of those things that led to our breakup that I had a hand in… still here.”

OR

“Hi! I’m so glad you agreed to have coffee. I’m glad to hear that things are going well for you. Things are going pretty great for me too. I’ve really gotten my life together since we split up.”

If you don’t have any improvements to bring to the table, how do you think he’ll react next time you want to get together?

Well…like I mentioned earlier, not caring and living your life without worrying about him will solve most of the question automatically.

But having something to show for your time apart. Man!

He’ll start to wonder,

“Why’s she doing so good without me?”

“Is she better off?”

“Has she moved on?

So, you have No Contact and you can become Ungettable.

But, you can also use the Circle of Influence.

Three people are a triangle… Four people are a rectangle. But five they make a circle… or a pentagon. But, who has time to figure out all those angles?!

Most people have at least five people in their lives whose opinions they care about. They’ll listen to what they have to say even if they don’t like it.

Think about it.

Who makes up your circle of influence?

Your parents? Your siblings? Your friends?

I bet each of those people has asked about your relationship since the breakup. Even if they are trying to be nice and avoid mentioning it, they will eventually. They may have even asked if you had heard from your ex.

But, have you noticed that, when they find out something new about your ex, they always come running to tell you about it?

Well, guess what. Your ex has a circle of influence too and you can use it against him.

If your ex isn’t talking to you it’s likely he also unfriended you on Facebook or unfollowed you on Instagram. He may have even blocked your number if you gnatted him.

Let me define that word there for you because we kind of made it up.

Gnatting (v) to annoy by contact or attempting to contact incessantly.

If he won’t talk to you, how will he see how well you’re doing?

I know, you were probably wondering that yourself. And if you weren’t… well, you probably are now.

So, here’s your answer.

Think about those people in your ex’s circle of influence. Who is your ex most likely to listen to? There should be several.

Now, are you friends with any of them on social media or in real life.

Okay, instead of focusing on whether or not your ex sees your improvements or at least that you aren’t pining for him (and even if you are, just pretend.)

This works amazingly…especially if you have an ex that is so stubborn!

Be careful though.

If you over-post on social media, it will be obvious that you are trying to get someone’s attention.

If you typically post on social media twice a week, don’t post 10 times in one week!

The idea here is to make your ex come to the conclusion, on his own (possibly with help from his Circle of Influence of course), that you are not worried about him and are doing just fine!

I don’t mean to say “Use your friends,” but USE YOUR FRIENDS!

Live the UG (Ungettable Girl) life and hint at those improvements you make on social media.

The UG doesn’t worry about anybody!

At least that’s what you show everyone.

Never mention anything to these friends about your intentions to get your ex back. Don’t post anything that will indicate that you are worried about him or want him back either.

This will do all the damage you need it to do…

He will go crazy about why you are doing so well right after the breakup. He will be frustrated and curious as to how you can handle this so well.

And you know what that will drive him to do?

It will drive him to talk to you!

Once you reconnect with him after No Contact, there is one thing I can tell you. You should watch how comfortable you get with your ex when you do finally talk.

Don’t try and talk about getting back together until he shows interest in getting back together. Trust me, if you have to ask… he’s not there yet.

Constantly asking about the relationship or about getting back together will do the opposite of what you want to accomplish.

Guys have super-huge egos and enjoy feeling like they can have as many women as they want.

Making you feel rejected feeds his ego. It makes him feel as if he can control you.

If you chase after him like that you are giving him permission to treat you however badly he wants. You want to create a challenge for him. You can’t do that if you are constantly pestering him about getting back together.

 

The Take-Away

Okay, now that I have laid all of this out there and given you the resources to follow through on it, let’s recap.

You should now know:

  1. Why Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Talk To You
  2. What Your Options Are In Dealing With This
  3. How To Make Him Contact You First

Now that you have all of this information, you should be all set, right?

Well, even if that is true, I am going to give you access to one more resource… OUR TEAM!!

In the comments below, tell me about your breakup. What have you done since the breakup. Have you gnattted your ex? How extreme has the not-talking-to-you been?

Based on that information, our experts will help determinewhat your best next action should be. And, together, we will have your ex reaching out in no time.

185 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Back But He Won’t Talk To Me”

  1. Angela

    December 2, 2018 at 1:25 am

    Hi, my ex and I were together for nearly 5 years. He has some issues from his childhood which he tends to block out with alcohol. At first I didn’t speak to him for 6 or so weeks (hoping he would stand on his own feet). Then out of the blue he sent two texts saying he still loves me and always will & that he’s met someone. He then came to collect his stuff and was very defensive and looked like crap (up all night drinking). After he left it it hit me and hurt. So I tried to contact him a few times and he blocked me (even appears to have changed his number). I’m devastated and want to talk to him. I’ve started no contact and intend to send a platonic Christmas card. What do you think ? He doesn’t have any social media at all or his friends. Thanks

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 2, 2018 at 2:24 am

      Hi Angela….5 years is meaningful in that it is traction and can come into play later. Yes, no contact can help in many ways. Be sure to roll it out in the way I teach it in my Program. Hop on over to my home page to learn more about all the resources and tools available to you!

  2. Helen

    November 29, 2018 at 6:03 am

    As I said below, I’m coming up on 2 months NC. Part of me wants to reach out, but I think if he’s deep in this relationship he won’t be willing to talk to me…but if I wait til they break up that could be a long time.

  3. Helen

    November 28, 2018 at 6:40 pm

    Since my ex won’t talk to me and is in a ‘serious’ relationship (with a girl he met after me), and he doesn’t have me on social media, how do I even begin? Playful texts won’t work here. Do I leave it and hope he messages eventually while moving on? Or can I get a little more hard-hitting with getting back in touch?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 29, 2018 at 3:42 am

      Hi Helen….Ummmmm consider giving this a bit more time, then try reaching out to explore his intentions….then if necessary roll into NC

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 29, 2018 at 3:42 am

      Hi Helen….Ummmmm consider giving this a bit more time, then try reaching out to explore his intentions….then if necessary roll into NC

  4. Gloria

    November 27, 2018 at 1:22 pm

    Hi, I do not have him on any social media and we were chatting strictly via sms. Been in a long distance relationship for a year and I would constantly travel to his place. He broke up with me via sma and he told me seeing each other was a bad idea. I tried to contact him and he never replied back. I miss him and it hurts. It’s been 2 weeks now. He never told me the reason why he thought this relationship won’t work in the long run. I always want to contact him but I feel like I should respect his decision and I have to give him his space. I only hope he comes back because I totally lost alot of things in these past 2 weeks.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 27, 2018 at 11:37 pm

      Hi Gloria!

      I do think employing NC can help you on the personal side and also potentially help you in the ex recovery area. There are a lot of resources that I make available on my Home Page that can help you in many respects….so feel free to explore my Program.

  5. Helen

    November 26, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    The problem is I don’t have him on social media so my tools are limited. He only has instagram but he has me blocked. The only way I know about his ‘forever’ comment is through his girlfriend’s insta. My only way to contact him is via Whatsapp, where he hasn’t blocked me. And keeping the door’ ajar’ is just what I want! I am trying to move on and I know I cant put my life on hold, but I don’t want the door to slam shut, but I know that this is a lot more delicate than any situation I’ve had in the past, especially as I think I remind him that he has a lot of stuff to deal with. He and this girl have gotten serious very fast. I just don’t think he’ll talk to me- any good tips on this?

  6. Helen

    November 26, 2018 at 8:34 pm

    So I have your book and I’ve been continuously working on myself as suggested, but my ex is still with this other girl and he recently commented on her social media that he can’t wait for them to be together forever. That’s pretty strong considering less than 3 months ago he was with me. Can I still count this as a rebound? I’ve done nearly 2 months of NC but all of the tips suggest he’ll be open to talking to me. I don’t think he wants to because I remind him of his issues. How can I work around this? It’s impossible to build attraction if I can’t even speak to him.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 26, 2018 at 10:50 pm

      Great job Helen….I am proud of you for working on being the best “you”. That is so so important. I wouldn’t put a lot of stock on things said on social media. There could be an underlying strategy for him using such flowery language. There is an approach I called, “Being There”. Its not foolproof…nothing is…but sometimes a break will come with your ex realizing the grass is not greener. Its similar to moving on without moving on. Don’t put your life on hold for this guy, but you can keep the door ajar if you are seeing signs of him coming around. Have you tried building attraction thru social media….or jealousy?

  7. dorcas

    November 25, 2018 at 9:45 am

    my ex decided to end tinz with me cause I said I can’t settle down in less than three years and we have been together for four months that he wants me to chase my dreams,that he has lost interest and since then he as ignored me for over 4 months now and I haven’t reached out to him cause am scared of rejection and what he will say to me,bt I still want him don’t know what to do. and his a kind of man that doesn’t go back to his ex,and sticks to his words.

  8. Helen

    November 6, 2018 at 4:35 pm

    Will do! In the meantime, is there anything I can do since he has me blocked on social media? I’m worried this relationship will end up turning serious and I don’t feel I can contact him. Bit helpless.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 6, 2018 at 10:33 pm

      Guys often will unblock after some time. They are notorious for social media stalking at some point in time. Pick up a copy of my eBook, “The No Contact Rule book” as it goes over so many things, including what you should do during NC to build value and attraction and also do things for yourself.

  9. Helen

    November 5, 2018 at 2:55 pm

    Not sure she’s a rebound girl…they met after he and I did but he’s gone to visit her several times now. She’s definitely serious about him. Not a rebound but he has a lot of things to work through before he can be in a healthy relationship. Case in point- I saw in one photo that he was drinking red wine. He hates red wine, he’s told me many times. I think he’s using this relationship to run from his issues so he’s being who she wants him to be. In this case, do I have to wait until he contacts me first?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 5, 2018 at 9:27 pm

      Well if he is running away from his emotions and issues….then this gal could be a rebound girl. Pick up my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”. Its massive in lenghth (485 pages) and will walk you thru the entire NC process and what to do when its time to reach out and so much more is discussed. Best to have the best ex recovery plan in place to help your chances.

  10. Brandt

    November 5, 2018 at 6:10 am

    Hello Chris,
    I dated my Ex for 8 months and we were in a lovely relationship. We clicked right away because we were open and we talked about everything. We dated. We talked about our future. We trusted each other. Within the 8 months we’ve had minor break ups over issues which doesn’t need to break us up. And all the break ups were coming from her. Anytime she breaks up with me, I will then call and text her several times to make amends and get back together with her again even if I wasn’t the one at fault but I only do that to save my relationship. My Ex has this mood swing behavior, she will be very happy with you today and just tomorrow she will be mad and do not want to talk about anything. I will ask her what the problem is and she will either tell me family issues, or nothing is wrong with her but I shouldn’t worry cos she will be alright. Just before the break her mood came again and she didn’t feel like talking to me and I asked what was wrong but she kept on saying nothing. Then she said “she personally doesn’t understand me because she will tell me everything and I will turn around later to ask her what’s wrong with her so I should leave her alone. I should leave her alone, she wanna be alone.” I asked if she’s tired of me? because I don’t it don’t understand why she was doing that and she gladly said maybe.
    so I called her in 4 days time to check up on her, and in the course of our conversation she said she’s no more interested in the relationship and dont wanna be with me again because I’ve hurt her. I got quiet for some minutes and said OK. and when we hanged up she blocked me and we’ve never talked again. I wonder what the problem is and why she did that….

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 5, 2018 at 9:39 pm

      Hi Brandt!

      Sorry your ex has a lot of mood swings. Perhaps something can be done for that if she needs treatment. So maybe a break will be good. Have you though of implementing No Contact. Go to my home page and read up on the various resources and tools available to you. It’s best to have a sensible ex recovery plan.

  11. Helen

    November 5, 2018 at 1:05 am

    My ex and I split up in September when it transpired he had another girlfriend in a different city. He has a lot of mental health struggles and debt but I see now that he’s been flying to visit this girl a lot. Obviously getting back together isn’t on the cards as he has this new girlfriend, but I fully believe he’s just trying to avoid his problems and is using her as an emotional crutch. I want to help and just talk over our relationship and I’ve been working on healing. I tried messaging him last month but he said it caused him anxiety and that he’s not ready to talk. I’ve done NC for a month as of this week, should I leave it longer? I don’t want to spook him or be ‘that crazy ex’, but I miss having his friendship.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 5, 2018 at 4:54 am

      Hi Helen!

      Maybe a rebound girl. Not sure. Proud of you for working on your healing and recovery. That is so important. Feeling empowered is key. Yes, maybe a bit longer on the NC. Be sure to use the tactics I talk about in my program as discussed in my eBooks and guides and videos!

  12. Lisa

    September 4, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I have had a three month amazing relationship with my ex. We clicked right away. We dated. We committed to each other. We talked about a future. We often talked about how crazy it was that we both felt so good about each other so fast but because we were on the same page, we trusted it. He was more open about his feelings for me from the beginning and I followed his lead. I felt the same but don’t typically jump in so fast. He lead the discussions in talking about our future. About 2 weeks ago, a couple of nights in a row he seemed not himself. When I asked what was up he responded with a long list of stressful situations he has on his plate and has been dealing with. We had always talked about these situations through our relationship and he always seemed to be stressed but ok, moving forward and happy to have me there by his side. He was very loving towards me and I do believe it was genuine. The issues were all around his separation. He was in the process of buying his ex wife out of their house and running into roadbloacks that were preventing him from doing that and she was putting a lot of pressure on him to get it done as she was putting offers on new homes. The night that he listed his stresses to me one on the list was “my separation”. Up until thay point he always said that the separation had been a long time coming and they were both happier apart. Hearing that his separation was causing him stress, instantly made me feel insecure and I responded with basically a breakup text saying it didn’t sound like he was ready to be in a relationship. He then tried to call me a couple of times to which I did not respond. He then sent me a text saying asking me to please not be upset, he has a lot on his plate that he is trying to get figured out and to please be patient and bare with him and that he will be get it all figured out with a heart emoji at the end. I then did not respond or contact him him for 2 days. When I did send him another message – it was basically accusing him of being just like every other guy, and telling him he broke my heart. Needless to say, once I calmed down, and got my emotions in check, I realized that I had essentially gotten scared by his message and pushed him away. Now he won’t speak to me. I apologized, tried to explain the reasons for my insecurity, and apologized some more. He called me back and said that he was a bit lost himself, he has a lot on his plate and needs time to himself. That he doesn’t feel the same way about me anymore. He was scared about his future. He was also crying and told me he felt sick about the whole thing. I love this man and I want him back. I feel like I made a huge mistake by jumping all over him and I don’t know how to fix it and I don’t know how to reach him.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 4, 2018 at 9:09 pm

      Hi Lisa…maybe you both take some time away from each other to reset. You can give him a heads up that you need some time to heal and work on some things and he would benefit to. I wrote an 247 page eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” that really gets into depth about this entire process and how you can use it to your advantage.

  13. Summer

    August 31, 2018 at 4:18 pm

    I do apologize for my constant posts, my page wouldn’t refresh and post them. So, my best friend keeps telling me, “he is never going to come back no matter what.” I’m not 100% sure how i should react to that. I have a very slim support system when it comes to personal issues such as a breakup. My ex still does not speak to me. I have a gut feeling he may pursue another relationship already. I sincerely feel like it really may be over. What should i do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 1, 2018 at 1:14 am

      Best friends are not always best for advice. Go get my eBook and follow the plan I lay out there!

  14. Summer

    August 31, 2018 at 1:41 pm

    My ex wont talk to me, unless of course it is about our daughter. i feel like he doesn’t even look at me. It hurts! Beyond belief. Once he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore, he mentioned that he likes another girl. i know he hangs around her on a daily basis because she lives with some of his friends. He still has me blocked on social media. i am just scared that this may really be over. i just don’t know what to think because i want him back, and i want our relationship back. i am trying not to seem desperate but, he is clearly trying to move on. What do i do!? 🙁

  15. Summer

    August 31, 2018 at 1:25 pm

    My ex broke up with me about a month ago. He told me that he doesn’t love me anymore. Since the initial breakup, we’ve barely talked. Of course, i begged around the first two weeks, and then it all turned into no contact whatsoever. We have a seven year old daughter together, so we only really talk to discuss things about her. He has told me that he has feelings for someone else, and he is trying to figure out how to go about talking to her. i hate the feeling of being replaced! He has since blocked me on Facebook. i hear from some friends about his status updates, and they worry me because i feel like he has lost all interest in me. i want our relationship back, i want him back. i just feel like this may really be over.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 31, 2018 at 1:57 pm

      I think a form of limited no contact makes sense here given the daughter you both have. As I discuss in my program, it is very important to put your efforts around your own healing and involve yourself in recovery activities. Perhaps in time, he will realize how much more he value you, than he realizes. That is part of what NC is about. This interest he has with another woman could be a “grass is greener. Time will reveal. As far as him saying he no longer loves you….you know, I have seen cases where guys just sometimes don’t know their feelings and say things, only later to realize their folly

  16. Hannah

    August 19, 2018 at 10:36 am

    Hi, Chris. I replied before. Exactly two weeks ago. Wow! In those two weeks, I’ve tried to be Strong, walk away and be done with this. His habit of silent treatment really hurts me. And he knows that. No matter what I say to him, I get nothing back, and it’s like talking to a brick wall. I’m at that point where I am done, now. So emotionally and mentally drained. And I think that he likes this. He knows that silent treatment hurts me Nd that is why he unblocked me: because he knew I would try to reach out and that he can give me silent treatment again… You see in those 8 months I was blocked, I made a lot of progress. Even decided to move to a new country, and on the day I got confirmation it was official, I sent a text message just to let him know that I’ll be leaving soon. I had no hidden agenda. Almost immediately, I was blocked and this whole new round of silent treatment started. I care about him, I miss him, my heart yearns for him and hopes for his return. In those 8 months, I dated other men, but never allowed myself to get too close to them because I hoped my ex will come back. And he did in a way: but only to hurt me more.
    I left an essay of a mesage yesterday, And blocked him.
    I leave in a couple of months. Outside of him, my life is awesome. But when it comes to him, I’m so confused, lost, insecure, tired, Nd it’s not the way I usually am.

    I don’t know what to do. I plan to never go down That road again, but I also don’t know if I should still let myself hope he comes back, or if he ever will. He’s a stone wall. And I just don’t know.

    Please, help. You asked me to tap into the resources here, and I read through no contact rules and watched videos on it.
    That’s the way I should go… I just wish things were different.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 19, 2018 at 11:37 pm

      Hi Hannah!

      Glad you came back to visit! I suspect that is the “right” guy out there for you. Have you joined my Private Facebook Support Group. It has about 1900 members and there is a lot of support and idea sharing. You can go to my home page of this site to learn more. Yes, the videos I have on the site can also be very uplifting and get you squared with which direction you want to go in your life…which by the way is forward…not the past. You are a good and decent person Hannah and I have no doubt you will land on your feet and find many meaningful experiences.

  17. Summer

    August 17, 2018 at 4:07 pm

    So, my boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. He claimed, he doesn’t love me anymore. We were together for 11 years and we have a 7 year old daughter together. Our relationship ended pretty harsh. i begged him to stay, i blew his phone up constantly talking about how we can fix this. He assured me that the initial breakup wasn’t my fault, but that he also feels we will never get back together. i am confused, and still devastated. i am trying to keep my head up and think positive. This past weekend he looked me in my face and said, he doesn’t love me and that he likes another girl, but he hasn’t got the courage up to tell her yet. i am not sure if i should assume she is a rebound, or if he really intends on trying to move on. Our relationship was never peaches and cream…as not many are. We bickered, and we argued. The beginning of our relationship was beyond PERFECT. We had some minor breakups. But over time…he started going out to hangout with friends and not inviting me, leaving me to sit at home alone all the time. He didn’t show any signs of being unhappy, although i began to feel unwanted. i basically worshiped the ground he walked on, and got verbally abused and walked over in return. Parts of me know that myself and my daughter deserve better, but i am 25 and that is the only life I’ve known since i was 14. i just want to know that i have another chance, to rebuild our family, and maybe start fresh. Right now, we do not communicate AT ALL (no texting or calling), and he deleted me from Facebook. He kept me as a friends on Snapchat, and very rarely looks at my story. i am just worried that its really over.He is also 25 but, he has no intent to want to move out of his aunts house, he always buys dirt bikes and childish things. He just overall has the mentality of a teenager, and i have goals of wanting to get my own place, and just make adult decisions. i try to keep in the back of my head that not too many grown women will want to put up with all of that, but EVERYTHING runs through my head a million times a day. i am at a loss for words, and don’t know if i should worry, or believe that i still have a chance. i moved out of his aunts house and in with my aunt, until i get on my feet. i willingly was visiting his aunts house every Friday, so he could still see our daughter but he doesn’t even really acknowledge us being there. Please tell me what i should do.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 9:17 pm

      Hi Summer…sometimes guys will utter those words about “not loving”,but more often than not they are only mouthing words, not knowing what they really feel. 7 years is a good amount of time. I am not convinced that it is all over. Take a look at my home page and you will see more information about my program and other tools and resources.

  18. Emma

    August 14, 2018 at 11:33 am

    My ex broke up with me because I am religious and he decided he couldn’t deal with it despite pursuing me for months and months knowing how religious I am. We ended up together for about 9 months before he decided he couldn’t deal with it and ended it. I was heartbroken and wanted him back. He spoke to me all the time despite me wanting space to get over him and before long ended up spending nights together again and being like a couple without the label. Then 3 months after this had been going on and him knowing I wanted him back and us having a number of conversations I found out he had met someone else. He’s been talking to her for the last couple of weeks and I have broken down completely. I feel so hurt and betrayed. I had a message the other day with him forwarding a voice note i sent him months ago just to say how much he liked it. Then bought me some unicorn (I like unicorn stuff – I am a grown up) hand soap a few days later. Needless to say I am massively confused. It’s all come to a head over the weekend when I had a bit too much to drink and ended up crying on his doorstep, we had a chat, he told me he would love me till the day he does but that we can’t be together, he walked me home, gave me the most amazing kiss and went home. 4 hours later I get text message abuse saying he’s fuming and hates me, never wants to see or speak to me again, we are done, his eyes have been opened, &*^k off forever etc you get the idea, with me sending distraught replies. It’s been 3 days and we haven’t spoken. I’m terrified he meant what he said and I’ll never hear from him again. Another point to the saga, he lives 2 doors down, we met when he moved into my neighbourhood. I’m 32 he is 30

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 3:06 pm

      I understand why you are confused. His behavior is inconsistent and borderline abusive. You should take a long look at my program as it applies to the no contact rule principle and focus on your recovery and healing.

  19. Karin

    August 13, 2018 at 2:21 pm

    Hello, my ex and I started dating 5 years ago and we broke up 3 years into our relationship. at the beginning of this year he and i became friends again after he ended a relationship. We started hooking up but he ended that when i told him i had feelings for him, but two weeks after he ended it he told me he also had feelings for me and was pushing me away because he didn’t want to hurt me. Then recently he ended things because he didn’t want to be emotionally responsible for someone. He removed me on social media and told me he had no interest in being my friend or anything else (but he told me he did not hate me.)
    We unfortunately work together.

  20. Denisha

    August 12, 2018 at 11:33 am

    Hi, Chris. I told you about my situation with me and my ex and you said he wasn’t sure about who or what he wanted and what’s best for him when he kept saying one thing then he said another thing. He has not contacted me at all ever since he has gotten his number changed two months ago and sometimes I feel he is trying to get back at me in some type of way because I didn’t talk to him for like 4 months last year. He told his sister to tell me NOW that he was done talking to me and told her to tell me that he told me before so why am I asking again and he didn’t tell me a thing especially when I was on the phone with him before he even got his number change and all of a sudden he decided or say he been decided that he was done talking to me before he even got it changed and me and him both know he didn’t up and decide it before then. I don’t understand how you were talking to me about me staying with you and all of the other things then when I don’t do it the minute you asked, you move someone else in to give you the benefits without a ring and you are saying all these other things now. I said no because I wanted him to respect and value me, and for him to understand I will not lower my standards in moving in with him before I got engaged or married to him and that I am not these other women that he use to and I refuse to just do what he says to please him like the other women he is used to and for me to tolerate what they have by letting him get away with a lot with them. I’m honestly lost in this situation because I thought that if I didn’t give in to what he said, he would value me and it would make him want to be with me or do what it takes to be with me but it’s like its the total opposite with him. It’s like he wants a woman to make it easy for him and do what he says when he says it right then and there. I just don’t understand any of it or his behavior. I don’t know if he wants to be serious with this girl or is he just doing it to get back at me. Its like he is trying to portray as his life is so much better without me to where he had his sister tell me that they had moved in together somewhere else and come to find out they didn’t. All of this is confusing and it’s upsetting me because he has said a lot of things and changed his mind so many times and has lied about a couple things making it seem like I’m wrong or desperate when I’m just going by what he has done or said to me. Is he doing all these because he wants the relationship that bad or he just doing it to me because he really doesn’t want me in his life and that’s his way of showing it to me?

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