I Want My Ex Back But He Won’t Talk To Me

So it seems really weird that you are in a situation where a person that loved and cared about you so much doesn’t even want to speak to you…

It’s unsettling and hurtful. It’s a difficult pill to swallow, right?

These thoughts are probably going through your head right now…

“Why won’t he talk to me?”

“We’ve known each other for 3 years! We’ve done so much together!”

“How could he just toss me aside like that? He’s told me so many times he loves me!”

You probably spend hours obsessed with what he’s thinking. You are enamored as to why he won’t speak to you.

Unfortunately, this is all very typical of an ex after a breakup.

There are a lot of reasons why your ex may not want to talk to you.

And we will talk about those today, along with some other things.

  1. Why Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Talk To You
  2. What Your Options Are In Dealing With This
  3. How To Make Him Contact You First

Why Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Talk To You

Now I could bust out a long list of reasons covering why your ex might not be cool with talking to you… right now. That “right now” is important. Remember that “right now.” We’ll talk about it again.

Actually, you know what? I AM going to give you a long list of reasons.

You ready?

  • Your Ex Could Be Over You
  • He Could Be Involved In a Rebound
  • It Could Be Painful For Your Ex To See Or Talk To You After The Breakup
  • Your Ex Could Be Mad At You

Now, I want to talk about these for a minute before we move on.

First things first, your ex could be over you.

I put that one first because it is least likely. And it’s the one you are least likely to want to hear. So… it’s out of the way.

Besides, it takes time to get over someone. It doesn’t just happen overnight. Why do you think you miss your ex so much?

If you could will that love for them away you would wouldn’t you?

And what is the one thing people keep telling you it’s gonna take?

Time, right?

And if time has passed it’s still unlikely, because it generally takes a lot of time.

Then, there’s the pain.

Breakups suck, man… for both the Breaker and the Break-ee. (Is that a word? Well, it is now.)

The pain of a breakup can be comparable to having someone you love pass away.

Now, I will venture to say that everyone reading this has lost someone at some point, even if it was a pet.

After a breakup, you start to wonder some things you might wonder if you lost someone,

“Is he gone forever?”

“How can I even begin to move on?”

“I am so heartbroken. Can I just lay in bed and cry all day?”

Well, believe it or not, your ex will go through some version of that too. So, if your ex refuses to talk to you, it could be because he is hurting still from the breakup.

Or, if your breakup was a particularly messy one and he ended up being mad at you, it could just be that he isn’t over that initial anger. This is probably likely if the two of you had a fight or an argument that led up to the breakup.

There is another reason that could cause this communication freeze out. You aren’t going to want to think about this one either.

If he is in a rebound relationship, he might be respecting her feelings or wishes by cutting you out. Which bodes well for you because that means she’s insecure in general, in the relationship, or both. Eventually, he’ll have enough of that. being insecure is not attractive.

No matter what, you have options as to what you can do that will bring him back. If you do it right, you could win him back for good.

What Your Options Are In Dealing With This

Aw… guess what… another list!!

  • You Can Chase
  • You Can Beg
  • You Can Wish
  • You Can Pray

OR…

I said OR…

  • You Can Get Him Back

Let me say that again…

You. Can. Get. Him. Back.

Yeah. Yeah. I know that “You Can Chase” one sounds like a great idea right now while you’re missing him. Right?

Wrong!

You shouldn’t chase or beg. And you definitely shouldn’t sit around wishing, hoping or, praying for him to come back.

That last one though… it’s the one.

You should definitely do that. You should definitely NOT do whatever you are thinking about doing. Instead, you should finish reading this article before you do anything.

Let’s get your ex back.

You know what I am gonna say now, right?

Well, if you thought I was going to tell you how to get him back using Ex Boyfriend Recovery tactics… you would be right!

How To Make Him Contact You First

Okay, so your first instinct to make him contact you would be to contact him.

Trust me. I know. I’ve been there.

And I’ve watched thousands of women come through the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Group and every single one of them has that urge to contact their ex.

Can you guess what the first thing I am going to tell you NOT to do?

Our first step of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Process is actually called No Contact.

If you guessed that it means that you ABSOLUTELY should NOT contact your ex. You would be 100% correct.

At EBR we have three different lengths of time for No Contact based on your specific situation, 21, 30, or 45 days.

If you are missing your ex, everything in your mind will tell you to contact him in some manner.

And I am here to say… that your mind is wrong.

Fight that urge, because No Contact is effective and it will effectively make your ex realize that he misses you too.

During this time, you will want to just sit around and wait for his call. If you do that you will be miserable and you will not get your ex back.

I bet you are wondering,

“what am I supposed to do for 21, 30, or 45 days?”

Well, the answer for that is to become an Ungettable Girl. I know that’s another unfamiliar

Essentially, becoming Ungettable is becoming the best version of yourself.

But if you want a more detailed description here is a link to several articles:

The Ungettable Girl

The 6 Things That Are Keeping You From Being Ungettable

How to Be Confident When You Feel Like Crap After a Breakup

Essentially, during this time you are going to work on a few aspects of your life. We call these aspects The Holy Trinity. They are Health, Wealth, and Relationships.

What you are going to do is make improvements in these areas of your life.

For example, for health you would possibly choose to focus your energy on exercise or nutrition.

For wealth, you might try and shoot for a promotion or a raise. You could learn how to manage your finances. You could make an investment or several.

For relationships, it could be with your family. It could be with your friends. It could be with yourself.

And this isn’t just to fill the time. While you are creating space and distance, your ex will start to miss you. Once you get through No Contact, you get to reconnect with your ex and build rapport with him.

Imagine this. What will be more effective?

“Hi! I’m so glad you agreed to have coffee. You look great. Yeah, absolutely nothing has changed since we broke up. All of those things that led to our breakup that I had a hand in… still here.”

OR

“Hi! I’m so glad you agreed to have coffee. I’m glad to hear that things are going well for you. Things are going pretty great for me too. I’ve really gotten my life together since we split up.”

If you don’t have any improvements to bring to the table, how do you think he’ll react next time you want to get together?

Well…like I mentioned earlier, not caring and living your life without worrying about him will solve most of the question automatically.

But having something to show for your time apart. Man!

He’ll start to wonder,

“Why’s she doing so good without me?”

“Is she better off?”

“Has she moved on?

So, you have No Contact and you can become Ungettable.

But, you can also use the Circle of Influence.

Three people are a triangle… Four people are a rectangle. But five they make a circle… or a pentagon. But, who has time to figure out all those angles?!

Most people have at least five people in their lives whose opinions they care about. They’ll listen to what they have to say even if they don’t like it.

Think about it.

Who makes up your circle of influence?

Your parents? Your siblings? Your friends?

I bet each of those people has asked about your relationship since the breakup. Even if they are trying to be nice and avoid mentioning it, they will eventually. They may have even asked if you had heard from your ex.

But, have you noticed that, when they find out something new about your ex, they always come running to tell you about it?

Well, guess what. Your ex has a circle of influence too and you can use it against him.

If your ex isn’t talking to you it’s likely he also unfriended you on Facebook or unfollowed you on Instagram. He may have even blocked your number if you gnatted him.

Let me define that word there for you because we kind of made it up.

Gnatting (v) to annoy by contact or attempting to contact incessantly.

If he won’t talk to you, how will he see how well you’re doing?

I know, you were probably wondering that yourself. And if you weren’t… well, you probably are now.

So, here’s your answer.

Think about those people in your ex’s circle of influence. Who is your ex most likely to listen to? There should be several.

Now, are you friends with any of them on social media or in real life.

Okay, instead of focusing on whether or not your ex sees your improvements or at least that you aren’t pining for him (and even if you are, just pretend.)

This works amazingly…especially if you have an ex that is so stubborn!

Be careful though.

If you over-post on social media, it will be obvious that you are trying to get someone’s attention.

If you typically post on social media twice a week, don’t post 10 times in one week!

The idea here is to make your ex come to the conclusion, on his own (possibly with help from his Circle of Influence of course), that you are not worried about him and are doing just fine!

I don’t mean to say “Use your friends,” but USE YOUR FRIENDS!

Live the UG (Ungettable Girl) life and hint at those improvements you make on social media.

The UG doesn’t worry about anybody!

At least that’s what you show everyone.

Never mention anything to these friends about your intentions to get your ex back. Don’t post anything that will indicate that you are worried about him or want him back either.

This will do all the damage you need it to do…

He will go crazy about why you are doing so well right after the breakup. He will be frustrated and curious as to how you can handle this so well.

And you know what that will drive him to do?

It will drive him to talk to you!

Once you reconnect with him after No Contact, there is one thing I can tell you. You should watch how comfortable you get with your ex when you do finally talk.

Don’t try and talk about getting back together until he shows interest in getting back together. Trust me, if you have to ask… he’s not there yet.

Constantly asking about the relationship or about getting back together will do the opposite of what you want to accomplish.

Guys have super-huge egos and enjoy feeling like they can have as many women as they want.

Making you feel rejected feeds his ego. It makes him feel as if he can control you.

If you chase after him like that you are giving him permission to treat you however badly he wants. You want to create a challenge for him. You can’t do that if you are constantly pestering him about getting back together.

 

The Take-Away

Okay, now that I have laid all of this out there and given you the resources to follow through on it, let’s recap.

You should now know:

  1. Why Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Talk To You
  2. What Your Options Are In Dealing With This
  3. How To Make Him Contact You First

Now that you have all of this information, you should be all set, right?

Well, even if that is true, I am going to give you access to one more resource… OUR TEAM!!

In the comments below, tell me about your breakup. What have you done since the breakup. Have you gnattted your ex? How extreme has the not-talking-to-you been?

Based on that information, our experts will help determinewhat your best next action should be. And, together, we will have your ex reaching out in no time.

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Ashley.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

EBR Team Member: Ashley

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136 Comments on "I Want My Ex Back But He Won’t Talk To Me"

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claudia
Guest
Hey Chris, So I contacted my ex today after waiting awhile because he responded negatively before when I told him I accepted the breakup. He actually responded positively and I used the “guess what happened ” text and he responded with a joke. And I had a plan to leave him hanging when he responds to my text because we were talking for a while but he never responded to my previous sent text and I think maybe I need to work on my conversation to keep it interesting in the middle because I can keep it interesting in the… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Hi Claudia…it does sound like progress is being made. Just go easy and don’t worry to much about the technicality of the conversation flow. Sure, ideally, you want to end it on a high note, like I talk about in the book (the Z effect)

Olivia
Guest
My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 8 days ago. He told me he doesn’t feel the same anymore and that “I’ll move on in months to come and forget about him” and “times a healer” and I’m truly, truly broken. I’m so in love. It hurts to exist. We were speaking about marriage and were genuinely trying to buy a house, when I asked him why he did all this he said “he thought it was what he wanted at the time”. He told me that we can’t have any contact because he doesn’t want to give… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
Hi Olivia…the good news is 4 years is a good amount of time for a relationship to get some positive traction…so that counts for something going forward. Most guys will say things like that. Do they mean it? Maybe at the time. Will they always feel this way? Not necessarily. I know it hurts, but that can be managed and it is important you have both a plan going forward to heal and focus on becoming the best YOU. If you wish to optimize your chances, go take a look at any one of my ebooks at website Menu/Products link.… Read more »
Mira
Guest
Hi Chris, i am a lesbian, she broke up with me 2 months ago, i did NC for 33 days, i feel i am better and i decided to just to be her friend, before we start our 1 year relationship, she is my best friend for almost 1 and half year, so i don’t wanna lost her as a friend, and i text her and said i accepted we have broke up and just wanna be her friend, but she ignored my text, few days after i text her again ask about a restaurant’s name that we went before.… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
Hi Mira. Thanks for stopping by and for your comment! I hear you Mira…breakups can be painful. Sometimes the harder we try…the worse we can make things because our emotions are flying all over the place. Consider picking up on of my ebooks as they are designed to help people optimize their chances of ex recovery (website Menu/Products). But what is also discussed in my ebooks is the importance of your own healing as you move forward. One such resources is the No Contact Rule Book ebook is full of things you can do to get through the pain of… Read more »
claudia
Guest
Hi, I did NC for a 45days and I really learned to love myself more and actually enjoy being alone with myself instead of before when I always wanted someone there for me. So, i contacted him and he answered positively but then after a while he stopped responded so I waited 3days to contact again because I don’t want to seem desperate and I contacted him and he answered and we had a longer conversation which was great but then he stopped responding again and so I waited a week to text him back and I told him “I… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
Great job Claudia..you should be proud of yourself. You are your own best friend. I did a podcast with a therapist who talked about learning to date yourself, treating yourself as you should be treated, doing things for yourself. Have you picked up my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro or the “The No Contact Rule Book”…as they may help you work through this period and minimally optimize your chances. Its good to have a companion Guide that can help show you the way as things unfold. Also, I offer Coaching Services…but back to your question. Maybe he does need space….obviously… Read more »
claudia
Guest
thank you Chris but one more quick thing. do you think I should just give him more time then for now(and how long do you think? it’s been 2 weeks of NC) and then contact him again but with a quick interesting story or question that’ll make the conversation short so that he could be the last one to say something instead of me being the one and then being left on seen or just wait for him to contact me? I just want to know where to start in this because I’ve read a lot of success stories and… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
Hi again Claudia…love you name! Yes, that is what I cover in my ebooks…text messages that are clever and interesting or creative, etc. The number say on average people have about a 40% chance more or less of getting their ex back. Of course those chances are optimized if you are following a well organized plan. Yes, keep the convo short. I talk about peak points in conversations and how to bail out gracefully. My wife was an expert at this with me! I am thinking 21 day NC might be your sweet spot, but remember as I talk about… Read more »
Lexie
Guest
I was engaged to my fiance’ after 9.5 years of dating. I told him I wanted to be married and he finally proposed 6 months ago. 4 months into our engagement, we already started planning a destination wedding and had all our family and friends pay for hotels and flights, we starting fighting over him not feeling appreciated and respected and he left. He’s been gone for 3 weeks now. He contacts me only to fight about what I’ve been doing (going out with my friends) while he does not tell me what he is doing aka going out too.… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
Hey there Lexie! The first thing I read, I liked. 9.5 years puts down a lot of relationship roots. Sure, there have been major bumps along the way, but few people just give up on each other after that amount of time. Stick with the blueprint plan discussed in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro (i.e. website Menu/Products link). It will help you along the way. Read up on the No Contact Principle, which I cover in detail and some of the texting strategies you can employ. Don’t worry about the grass is greener because it seldom is and you… Read more »
Lottie
Guest
I was with a guy who completely adored me. We had been talking for 4 months, I wanted to take things slow though because we live in different states. He introduced me as his girlfriend to his friends the last time I saw him. I kind of freaked out the week after and asked for space for a few days, I was also finding it a distraction from my studies. I was out that weekend, got drunk and my guy friend kissed me. I told my boyfriend and he was devastated. I assured him it was a mistake, that I… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Hi Lottie….first you need to have a game plan. I have you looked at any of my ebooks (website Menu/Products link). Once you learn more about the world of breakups, you will better your chances. So got a look at some of these resources. That is the first step. Things are still very emotional now. But from the sound of it…based on his described actions…you guys have a real shot.

Sophia
Guest
Hi, me and my ex had a majorly messy break up in which I begged and he got so annoyed he didn’t want to talk to me again. I got sexually assaulted since and my family told him and he messaged me but has been completely off. Now I have taken a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I had forgotten to take my pill about 4/5 weeks ago and he will probably be mad. Should I tell him? I don’t want him to think I’m naking this up to get him back which I’m scared he will think.… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
Hi Sophia! First of all, make sure you are getting all the emotional support you deserve as a result of these difficulties you have gone thru. That is important. He has zero reason to be mad at you for what happened. Just take things slow with your ex. Chances are that he will eventually find out about your condition, so no rush on telling him. That time will come. Right now, focus on YOU. It is tough to go through a breakup, so I think you should take some time to heal. It also helps to have a sophisticated game… Read more »
AQBC
Guest
Hi Chris. A little over two weeks ago I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone and could sense something was wrong. He is going through a really difficult time right now where his ex wife is interfering with our relationship and trying to legally keep me away from their child. We are in a LDR now and had plans of me moving in with him over the summer. The last time I spoke with him I told him “if we needed to step back for now I would be willing to do so” until everything settles down with… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
Hi AQBC!! There seems to be a lot going on in his life which clearly is contributing to some of the confusion/chaos and uncertainty. The LDR also brings some added challenges. Yes, I think you will hear from him. Use this time to focus on YOU. I know you want him in your life and that story is still being written, but also teach yourself to move forward with him, if that is the path that unfolds. Take a look at some of the resources I offer on my Products Page (via website menu). Having a comprehensive blueprint on how… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
Hi AQBC!! There seems to be a lot going on in his life which clearly is contributing to some of the confusion/chaos and uncertainty. The LDR also brings some added challenges. Yes, I think you will hear from him. Use this time to focus on YOU. I know you want him in your life and that story is still being written, but also teach yourself to move forward with him, if that is the path that unfolds. Take a look at some of the resources I offer on my Products Page (via website menu). Having a comprehensive blueprint on how… Read more »
Lisa
Guest
Hi Chris, I don’t believe my posts went through bc I don’t see them pending . The text I sent him was essentially me reaching out after 3 weeks of NC . Recognizing / taking responsibility for what I thought contributed to us breaking up. Just being a bit more needy, negative, bickering and recognizing it was temporary but it fair and that I vow not to make same mistakes in future. I know I know but I got it from a different website before I found. Yours 🙁 so two weeks have gone by and then last night I… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
It appears he wants to conclude things. But men, must like anyone else, sometimes don’t know what they want. Just employ a “kind” and “calm” disposition and keep your options if he choose to revisit. He might be expecting someone who is needy or even desperate or someone who is gloomy and sad. Don’t give him any of those people. Be the best version of yourself as you move forward. And remember, however this works out in the long run, you are a very special person if even half of the things he said are true and some day he… Read more »
Lisa
Guest

How would you suggest the meet-up go? I know that I’ve read you aren’t to bring up the relationship but how is that possible to avoid the conversation? He mentioned dinner … is that weird as well? Why wouldn’t he just send my things which essentially is a cheap pair of sunglasses and a cheap blow dryer haha

Chris Seiter
Admin
Nope. Dinner sounds tasty! Just relax and have fun. If he brings up the relationship…like he wants to talk about it…just say lets just have a great time and talk about that some other time. My guess is he is either feeling you out or he is looking for closure. But sometimes, closure is not closure. Either way, just enjoy the evening and if he brings up the stuff, tell him he can throw it out or gift it to charity. Make a joke about it. Put your best foot forward and accept what comes. There is always another day…then… Read more »
Lisa
Guest

Considering you are a guy haha I can get why it would prob be easier to not bring the conversation up but after everything that happened … supposed to move in apartment together in his city, got a NP job there I had to turn down bc break-up, etc the seriousness of what I thought our relationship was …when do I get to tell him how that hurt ? Or to figure out why he did what he did ? Also, along with this -how do I reply where it’s cool, calm, collected etc? Thank you !

Chris Seiter
Admin

Hey Lisa…guilt as charged! Leave any negative out of any of the future interactions for now. Those feelings are real and he should know, but I am thinking that is further down the road. Knowing why men and women do what they do is a mystery oftentimes. You know… just play it cool…slow movements…slow tone of voice. He will unconsciously mirror you.

Lisa
Guest
That’s why they made that book men are from mars women are from Venus ! Haha. Well thank you for such good advice , it’s no wonder so many people reach out to you. It’s no fun trying to decipher text messages from someone you knew so well before! Btw My friend just but EXB PRO premium and LOVES IT! Last question for now, I’ve completely put off replying to his text about dinner / returning things/ remain as friends bc I don’t know how to! Is this a time to be a little flirty or just short or ?… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Hey there Lisa! Yeps, we are all different species! Not too flirty. Just pleasant.

Chris Seiter
Admin
It appears he wants to conclude things. But men, must like anyone else, sometimes don’t know what they want. Just employ a “kind” and “calm” disposition and keep your options if he choose to revisit. He might be expecting someone who is needy or even desperate or someone who is gloomy and sad. Don’t give him any of those people. Be the best version of yourself as you move forward. And remember, however this works out in the long run, you are a very special person if even half of the things he said are true and some day he… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
I would be best not to publish the text of his message here. But my sense is that however this shakes out, you are going to be fine. He seems to want to end things in a positive way. So it might be best to go forward in a spirit of cooperation. Show him how positive and mature you can deal with this whole situation. This keeps your options open. Who really knows the future. Focus on your needs and being the best version of yourself. If half of things he said about are true(and I am sure they are),… Read more »
Zzz
Guest
Hey there! So I did a no contact of 40days and sent him a message when his favorite sports team was on. I started with a guess what text to which he responded what with laughing emoji and then I sent him a picture of the screen at the sports bar. He didn’t reply. A week later I sent him a message and asked him abt his activity, his passion. No reply. Then a week later I sent him a message kinda saying I understand why we broke up and wanted a part of him back. No reply. Since then… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Hey there Zzz..you are off to a good start. If you haven’t picked up one of my ebooks (found on menu tab/products) you should give it a look. Lots of ideas for lots of situations and it covers NC in detail!

Aimee Starkey
Guest
I discovered my ex has been seeing someone else. He says its 2 weeks, but ita very intense, and i highly doubt it because a mutual friend living on his street has said the new womans car has been there a solid week. Last wednesday i got it out of him and although he offered to talk to me on the Wednesday he blew me off for a night wirh her – lying to me saying he was stressed about it so can we rearrange. Tonight i am going ro collect mt things and i know i need to appear… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
Hey there Aimee..best to have a plan in place. No contact will give you time to get in touch with your own feelings about what he has done. Consider getting a deeper pool of advice.You are probably looking for actionable solutions, right? Well, the good news is that I created an ebook to help folks like yourself. Just go to my website’s Menu Section and click on “Products” link. You will learn there are lots a ways to better your situation! You don’t have to do this on this by your lonesome! In the end, do what makes you happy,… Read more »
Tay
Guest
My ex and I have been dating on and off for the past 8 months, breaking up in feb due too us just spending way too much time together. All the time we spent caused tension between us and when we broke up it was mutual yet there is still a passion between us. I did no contact after stubbornly realizing that he won’t talk to me. After the 30 days. Due to missing my period and fears of pregnancy, we spoke about the options we had. On the phone, he was supportive of the situation and told me that… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Hi Tay….giving space is probably a good idea. I bet you would benefit from a more directed strategy. Consider a resource I put together called Ex Recovery Pro. It is aimed at helping you in all sorts of ways. You can learn more about it by going to my Menu Section and clicking on the link for “Products”. I am guessing you will find something that fits your needs

Lisa
Guest
Hi, First of all, you are amazing Chris! The tips/videos/articles have great content and can be hilarious! So here’s my deal: My exboyfriend Of 7.5 months broke up with me a little over month ago. 1.5 months leading up we both had started bickering/ arguing more nothing like name calling etc but where he’d storm out and drive home an hour away. Wasn’t all the time. Both of us had a lot of external pressures going on- he messed up at work, my family health issues, job etc . Think we were taking it out on one another. I was… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Thanks for all the kind words.

Sorry if I’m a bit short. Been working a lot, taking care of two sick women (one a wife, the other a daughter.)

Do you mind if I inquire about the “accountability” text? What was it and what was said?

Lisa
Guest
Hi Chris, I’m sorry if this is repeating a post bc it doesn’t look like it’s posting. Nutshell: sorry to hear about your fam , I just am finishing influenza B myself and am a Family Nurse Practitioner and have seen the worst cases of flu in pediatrics and adults. The “accountability text” was more like a clean slate text that I felt inclined to send after 3 weeks of NC. I may have gotten advice from another counselor essentially it was acknowledging/taking responsibility of how I contributed to break -up. (Becoming more negative , bit more needy, bickering )… Read more »
Lisa
Guest
Hi Chris, I’m unsure if my posts have gone through bc it’s showing that they aren’t on my end . If there are duplicates hopefully there’s a way to erase hahha. Sorry to her about your sick wife and daughter! I’m just finishing with Influenza B myself . As a Family Nurse Practitioner , I have witnessed this be the worst cold / flu season! Anyway, the accountability text was basically a “clean slate “ text that I felt the need to send after 3 weeks of NC. Essentially recognizing / taking responsibility after reflection etc of what I did… Read more »
Lisa
Guest

Hi

Jennifer Seiter
Editor

Hi! 🙂

Dawn
Guest
I dated my ex as a teenager for 8 years. We had a child together we split up when our son was 2. I spent the next 11 years raising him solo. My ex always had his head up someone else’s butt. I waited for a long time for him to come back around. And he did. He ended up cheating on me and dating a girl I knew behind my back. At first I was devastated. He blocked me on social media. Blocked my number. He let this girl destroy my self esteem and say the most horrible things… Read more »
Jennifer Seiter
Editor

I’m so sorry to hear about your breakup but very happy to see that your realizing your better off without him! Our program is not only about getting back together, it’s also about recovering from your breakup and becoming more secure with yourself. Thanks for being an avid reader!

P.S. The girl is saying horrible things about you because she is intimidated by you and she probably has low self-esteem.

Dawn
Guest

You 2 are freaking awesome.

Chris Seiter
Admin

Hey Dawn! Your are freaking awesome too! Things can get better, my friend! Sometimes it is a function of having a blueprint to follow. That is what I created in a massive ebook. It’s called Ex Recovery Pro. Go take a look. You can find it on my website by click the Menu Section and looking under the link for “Products”. Consider it your ex recovery pal!

Meg
Guest
I met my Ex online and we live in different countries. We only talked for 2 weeks but it was daily. He was pretty straight forward about sexy photo requests, but after I dampened that, his responses seemed caring but often very short. So he was interested enough over that 2 week period. Then after asking me several questions about why I wanted to meet someone from his country (dream of mine), and saying surely there must be many guys who want me (he said I was beautiful), texted back that he had moved on i a couple days later.… Read more »
Jennifer Seiter
Editor

Hi Meg,

Welcome to the website! I’m Jennifer, Chris’ wife! We actually recommend that a lot of our clients text first coming out of the no contact rule.

So, I think you are good there.

Meg
Guest

Hi Chris’s beautiful wife!
Your husband and team’s comments have really helped. I was concerned that me contacting him after traveling to his country, after the breakup would be too much ( like I went there for him). But he knows that I have always wanted to go there. Beforehand I will see if the text goes through before I leave .

Jennifer Seiter
Editor

Your so sweet. Thank you!

Good idea!

Cornelia
Guest
I was reading through the comments and I think my situation is the most dumb ever and that mostly because the guy I’m gonna write about wasn’t even my boyfriend. So I know him for 5 years now. I still remember the first day we accidentally met while I was with one of my classmates that happened to be his friend. After that we kind of got in touch through Instagram then WhatsApp. The point is he was always kind to me, a deep person I always had interest to talk to. He was the mysterious guy and still is.… Read more »
Jennifer Seiter
Editor

He just needs more time. Restart a no contact and work on yourself during that time. Don’t be to hard on yourself. The relationship did mean a lot to him that’s why he’s reacting so emotionally.

Annie
Guest
my ex and i were very intense, in love, about to move in together and talked about getting married. we had an argument and he broke up with me and said we just don’t work long term. that was about 3 months ago. i never gnatted, even immediately after the breakup. about 30 days after, i texted him something light and he responded neutrally / positively, and about two weeks after that did the same. but he hasn’t initiated anything — he doesn’t watch my instagram stories most of the time, and doesn’t like any of my facebook posts so… Read more »
Annie
Guest

any possibility of getting some input? help!

Chris Seiter
Admin

Hi Anna…sure… I have been out of town, and if I see any other messages here from ya, I will respond. Meanwhile, if you have not already, dig into one of my ebooks!

Samantha
Guest
So I was in a super serious relationship with someone. We were in love, things happened so quickly. It was long distance, we were only together for two months. We had talked about me moving to a different state to be with him and talked about marriage. I truly believe everything he said to me. Out of the blue he ghosted me. After he promised me so many times he would NEVER leave me and he’s never felt this way about anyone. He does have PTSD. It’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard anything from him. He unfollowed me… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Well basically that’s what we do in NC. We leave him alone for a set period of time and focus on ourselves!

Amarah
Guest

Im done with NC rule after a month we met and had sex it was the biggest mistake because im feeling the UG after that i feel like i lost my value with him. I also initiate that we should get back together. After that he become so cold and we didnt contact each other again what to do?

Chris Seiter
Admin

Did I already point you to that article I wrote on what to do if you sleep with your ex?

Zan
Guest
I dated this guy I knew from elementary school for about 4 months. We connected well and things were great. We started to drift a bit and I gnatted him. I guess I genuinely thought it would work out. I did the 45 day no contact. And after trying to reach out got blocked on social media. He changes his number every now and then, so I don’t have that either. It’s been 7 months since we’ve talked. I think I may be able to still send a message on Facebook although I can’t see his profile. Also, someone I… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

I am curious. What was the message you used when you reached out?

Zan
Guest

I said, he popped in my mind for the first time in a while when I was travelling. And I said happy new year. Did I mess this up? Can I fix this?

Chris Seiter
Admin

Ah… so basically you told him that you are thinking of him…

There isn’t any curiosity hook to want to respond to.

Zan
Guest

I said, you popped into my mind for the first time in a while. Hope all is well. Happy new year. Did I mess this up? My Instagram is public now. I’m not sure what his friend’s intention is. Or how to use it to my advantage. Can I fix this?

Jennifer Seiter
Editor

I think that’s okay. You didn’t mess up.

Zan
Guest

I said, you popped into my mind for the first time in a while. Hope all is well. Happy new year. Did I mess this up? My Instagram is public now. I’m not sure what his friend’s intention is. Or how to use it to my advantage. Can I fix this?

Jennifer Seiter
Editor

No, I think your still okay.

Zan
Guest

So considering I’m still blocked. And there is the potential that I can message him on Facebook. How should I approach this?

Jennifer Seiter
Editor

Yes but try the phone texting first. You’d be surprised how many people get unblocked during no contact. IF you are still blocked then yes Facebook messaging would be a good idea.

Zan
Guest

He changes his number. So I don’t even think he has the same number. I really don’t want to mess this up again and seem needy. What can I say to him?

Chris Seiter
Admin

If you are looking for some extended advice, consider one of my ebooks (menu tab/products). My material covers all sorts of situations and gives you a game plan moving forward

Mandy
Guest
My ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago out of the blue, stating that we were moving two different speeds, and one of us would have to change for the other and then would resent the other for it. He sounded rehearsed and cold. He also said that he was initially just going to talk to me about it, thought about it for a day and then decided that talking was pointless, and that it was best for us to move away from this so he broke up with me. I was in such shock that I didn’t say… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

You definitely have to be willing to lose the guy to get the guy.

I’ve seen it time and time again. It’s almost uncanny how true that statement is.

So, this current iteration of NC… have you completed it yet?

Mandy
Guest
No, today is Day 22. I did go to the gig again this week, and he was less hostile when he spoke to me when he had to. I was happy and polite, just said what I had to in as little words as possible and had fun with my friends, ignoring him the rest. I also was with a new guy friend but I don’t think my ex was jealous. I forgot to mention that during both times of improving myself, of course I improved myself for me, but I have been posting on Facebook on public so he… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

So, what I’ve seen work best so far is to do something noteworthy indirectly to catch his attention. I’ll level with you. I’m still looking for the perfect strategy for being blocked. If you give me some time I’ll have it cracked I’m literally working on it now.

Mandy
Guest
Maybe it’s time I take a vacation! Maybe some things that could help you to know: he never contacted me during first NC or this second one, maybe because he did see me for those 2 hours weekly. I know I probably should have skipped going, but I also didn’t want him controlling me seeing my friends, so I treated it like NC while working together. When you list out the types of guys who don’t contact during NC, he is the stubborn one (a Taurus, too). However, with the blocking, I’m leaning toward it hurt too much or he… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

HI Mandy. A vacation sounds fun! I need one! Perhaps he does need more time. Some guys are that way. If you need a deeper dive into this whole topic of breakups, consider my ebooks which you can get to via my website menu/products link! Maybe Hawaii! Europe!

Yong
Guest
Ex bf broke up with me a month ago, he said it was something about me that hurt him but he didn’t want to talk to me about it , he just broke up with me saying I deserve better . During NC he contacted me once positively . After NC I contacted him asking to meet and to talk about things ,when we meet up I told him this might be the last time we will meet because I don’t know if he wants me back anot I’m confuse . He hesitated but he chose to let me go… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

I would study his actions as opposed to his words to make a determination on that.

Emmy
Guest

My bf broke up with me 2 weeks ago because i was nagging him to much for him being distant he said i was a great woman and he didnt want to make me feel.that way it caught me by surprise because i never ecpected a brake up we always had the best times when we where together we where so in love i text him twice since the break up and he never replied but still has me on all his social medias apps im so confused..help!..

Chris Seiter
Admin

Hey Emmy,

I understand this is a tough time but you didn’t give me anything about what you’ve done to try to win him back so far.

Emmy
Guest

Well i sent him one message through fb jist saying good morning and asking how his been ans he never opened it..and also sent him a text message telling him i apoligized for nagging him that i missed him a loved him and if we could start all over again to give us a second chance and he didnt reply im not sure if he just doesnt want anythinh to do with me anymore or what..

Chris Seiter
Admin

Yep, I just found your problem. The biggest mistake I see women making time and time again is having a really basic message when they reach out.

The name of the game is curiosity. There is nothing that makes him want to respond to you. You might need to get that in order.

Sophia
Guest
Hi, My ex and I broke up 6 weeks ago, we met last summer so we had been together for around six months. It was a mutual break up, but I was the one initiating it. During our time together I was suffering from bad anxiety, not because of him, but I did however. I guess that was our main problem since my anxiety was very energy consuming. My ex was very supportive and helped me to find a great psychologist. In the end, I initiated the break up because I felt I couldn’t be a good girlfriend when I… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Hey Sophia,

So, let me just start off by saying NC is without a doubt one of the most effective strategies in ex recovery. However, be careful about relying on it fully. It’s not the be all end all. What you do after the no contact rule is just as important.

Alejandra
Guest
I broke up with my boyfriend 5 days ago. He blocked me on all social media except whatsapp. I sent him a couple of text messages for two day and then I have not contacted him. I’ve talked to his friends and they’ve told me he’s very stubborn when he leaves someone. He was casually dating before he became seriously involved with me. So they tell me maybe he’ll come back around, but I’m not sure. To be honest I’ve been wanting to write him a letter expressing myself, but I haven’t. I want him to know I’m open to… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

Did you guys talk a lot on Whatsapp?

Mary Grace Porto
Guest
My ex broke up with me after 7yrs of being together and after I got engaged with him. After the break up, I tried to convinced him and beg him that he should not be giving up on us and he must remain strong on the situations that we are facing being in Long distance for 6months. He all refused to talk to me and ignoring all my messages after he said that its over and not going back. He even says that he dont read all my Bullshit messages. He seems very angry to me and on serious in… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

And have we done any form of NC at all?

daisy
Guest
Me and my ex boyfriend broke up months ago but after we broke up we were still sort of interested in each other as i was the one who initiated the break up due to severe depression i have been going through. He now hates me and has blocked me on everything because i got really upset when he wanted to move on with one of my best friends and i kept on texting him which i now really regret but now he is saying to people he wants space and i’m going to give it to him but i’m… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

I’ll tell you the best piece of advice I have.

“you have to be willing to lose the guy to get the guy.”

Take a risk and try NC.

Staci
Guest
We initially started fighting beginning of November because i took a text typo and made it a big deal. Things became good then a bigger fight. And things got ugly! Neither of us gave in so things got worse. We did not celebrate our year and half anniversary due to the anger. I was so upset. Finally when i was ready to put this past me. Something he was asking for the entire time but i couldn’t forget what was said. All he replied with was he’s glad. He was preoccupied with his friends. Christmas he only sent me one… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

So, the anger from him I’d say is completely normal. In fact, I wrote about it recently in a post where I was talking about pendulum swings and how often it is for an ex to go from one end of the spectrum to the other.

Stacy
Guest

So what do I do now? Do I have a chance?

Chris Seiter
Admin

You certainly have a chance!

But I lost context of the conversation we were having. Do you mind helping me?

Stacy
Guest
I said: “We initially started fighting beginning of November because i took a text typo and made it a big deal. Things became good then a bigger fight. And things got ugly! Neither of us gave in so things got worse. We did not celebrate our year and half anniversary due to the anger. I was so upset. Finally when i was ready to put this past me. Something he was asking for the entire time but i couldn’t forget what was said. All he replied with was he’s glad. He was preoccupied with his friends. Christmas he only sent… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

So, I am actually not a huge fan of apologies. To me what always tends to work best is action.

Show him through action.

Also, I know it’s very hard but try not to let your emotions get the better of you and act on impulse. I feel like your ex would respond to you better from a position of power as opposed to a position of weakness.

Stacy
Guest

How do i show him through action? I am basically blocked everywhere and he won’t speak to me. Do you think the friend comment upset him or the fact i blatantly ignored him when he what’s app me during my second attempt at no contact? I don’t understand why he’d get upset at me ignoring him when he did the same basically. It’s crazy how a person who used to love me so much is now someone who i can’t get to speak to me. Do i still have a chance to turn things around?

Chris Seiter
Admin

Yep, there is always a chance. But I hear what you are saying. He needs to cool of for a spell, before you reach out later

Stacy
Guest
For how long? I did one 30 day no contact. Then reached out to him. By my third good memory reach out (this was the one after the one which made him angry and jealous). He blocked me and called me to leave him alone. I did another 30 day no contact period. He never contacted me during these two periods. He contacted me after my first attempt of no contact and i gave in. After my final no contact period i sent a clean slate/apology for my behavior email. He opened it but no reply. What do i do?… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin
Hi Stacy…thanks for the clarification! You certainly have given him time. Turn the focus on you and working on being the best version of yourself. Invest in yourself. The future is often like blur. We cannot know how it is going to fall in place when it comes to matters of relationship. So it is best to be pragmatic and proceed with moving forward with your life, without any expectation that he will be part of your future. Neither of us know that for certain and you have made good faith efforts to re-ignite the spark. Perhaps he will move… Read more »
Bhawna
Guest

Hi,

My boyfriend broke up with me 3months ago for another girl but i am still thinking about him wants to talk to him and want him back but he said that he loves me not anymore and he blocked me on fb ,Instagram but not on whatsapp …after that i was applied the no contact rule post some pictures of mine looking happier at all in my whatsapp status and he saw my status daily but suddenly he blocked me there last night could u tell me what should i do ?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bhawna,

Just let him be and keep posting in fb and ig if you have accounts there and keep your posts public.. How long have you been improving yourself and being active in posting?

Bhawna
Guest

Hi,

My boyfriend broke up with me 3months ago for another girl but i am still thinking about him wants to talk to him and want him back but he said that he loves me not anymore and he blocked me on fb ,Instagram but not on whatsapp …after that i was applied the no contact rule post some pictures of mine looking happier at all in my whatsapp status and he saw my status daily but suddenly he blocked me there last night could u tell me what should i do ?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bhawna,

Just let him be and keep posting in fb and ig if you have accounts there and keep your posts public.. How long have you been improving yourself and being active in posting?

Taylor
Guest
Hello, My boyfriend broke up with me last week out of nowhere after about 3 months of being together. He’s been going through a difficult time and told me I deserve better (that’s also what he told one of his friends who reached out to me to see how I was doing). That night I texted him asking if we could talk and he never responded and I haven’t attempted to contact him since. We had a good relationship and while we had a few conflicts we always talked through them, never had any full blown fights. I don’t believe… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Taylor,

I think there still is.. Have you tried our quiz?

Taylor
Guest
Hello, My boyfriend broke up with me last week out of nowhere after about 3 months of being together. He’s been going through a difficult time and told me I deserve better (that’s also what he told one of his friends who reached out to me to see how I was doing). That night I texted him asking if we could talk and he never responded and I haven’t attempted to contact him since. We had a good relationship and while we had a few conflicts we always talked through them, never had any full blown fights. I don’t believe… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Taylor,

I think there still is.. Have you tried our quiz?

Josie
Guest
I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months. We had been planning on moving in together after our anniversary and even planned a trip for our anniversary. One day I was just so frustrated with family issues, work and school (I’m 27 yrs old) I hadn’t seen him in over a week because I went on a trip without him. Anyway, I was off work and was supposed to meet with him to spend the weekend together but I was having the worst bitchy attitude and texted him that I wasn’t happy. His reply was that he didn’t know… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Josie,

Start the nc rule.. Since you haven’t spoken to him in three weeks, just extend to two more weeks. Be active in improving yourself and in posting..

Josie
Guest
I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months. We had been planning on moving in together after our anniversary and even planned a trip for our anniversary. One day I was just so frustrated with family issues, work and school (I’m 27 yrs old) I hadn’t seen him in over a week because I went on a trip without him. Anyway, I was off work and was supposed to meet with him to spend the weekend together but I was having the worst bitchy attitude and texted him that I wasn’t happy. His reply was that he didn’t know… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Josie,

Start the nc rule.. Since you haven’t spoken to him in three weeks, just extend to two more weeks. Be active in improving yourself and in posting..

Jess
Guest
Hi – i have been dating a man for the last year. We have had the most amazing time of my life. He was doing all the things that led me to believe he was all in. Saying he was all in in fact. well about three weeks ago, i asked him really where do we stand – does he love me? It was like i shot him. He got ttotally scared to death and started falling off right then and there. I gnatted him – and i’m so sorry i have. Only for about a week, but it got… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi jess,

Try at least 30 days

Jess
Guest
Hi – i have been dating a man for the last year. We have had the most amazing time of my life. He was doing all the things that led me to believe he was all in. Saying he was all in in fact. well about three weeks ago, i asked him really where do we stand – does he love me? It was like i shot him. He got ttotally scared to death and started falling off right then and there. I gnatted him – and i’m so sorry i have. Only for about a week, but it got… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi jess,

Try at least 30 days

Janet
Guest

I have done the entire 45 day process to a tee. Now how do I break the no contact.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Janet
Guest

I have done the entire 45 day process to a tee. Now how do I break the no contact.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Mariene
Guest
Hi, my ex and i actually broke up 8 months ago while we both were gonna start in college in different cities. It was his idea and I was devastated. But not a day gone since that day we didnt talk. We met we visit eachother. It was great until 3 days ago we called it off. He said he doesnt love me like he used to and he doesnt wanted a commitment because I was so jealous of his friends over there coming to his house all the time. As a tag “we werent in a relationship for 8… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mariene,

nc helps increase your chances but it doesn’t promise that it will work 100% in any situation.. And besides, you’ve stayed in touch but it didn’t help right? He probably thinks you’re just chasing him and if you’re sleeping with him, that means you’re friends with benefits.

Mack
Guest

We broke up and he will not tell me why. He thought I was clingy but wouldn’t ever tell me to my face. He likes another girl and I heard he doesn’t love me anymore. Our relationship was great and he just broke up with no reason. I tried to talk to him but now, I don’t think I want to. We had a fight about why he won’t tell me why. He’s acting like he is full of himself. I just want it to be back to normal.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mack,

when did you break up? Are you going to do the nc rule?

Mariene
Guest
Hi, my ex and i actually broke up 8 months ago while we both were gonna start in college in different cities. It was his idea and I was devastated. But not a day gone since that day we didnt talk. We met we visit eachother. It was great until 3 days ago we called it off. He said he doesnt love me like he used to and he doesnt wanted a commitment because I was so jealous of his friends over there coming to his house all the time. As a tag “we werent in a relationship for 8… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mariene,

nc helps increase your chances but it doesn’t promise that it will work 100% in any situation.. And besides, you’ve stayed in touch but it didn’t help right? He probably thinks you’re just chasing him and if you’re sleeping with him, that means you’re friends with benefits.

Mack
Guest

We broke up and he will not tell me why. He thought I was clingy but wouldn’t ever tell me to my face. He likes another girl and I heard he doesn’t love me anymore. Our relationship was great and he just broke up with no reason. I tried to talk to him but now, I don’t think I want to. We had a fight about why he won’t tell me why. He’s acting like he is full of himself. I just want it to be back to normal.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mack,

when did you break up? Are you going to do the nc rule?

Kim
Guest
My ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He suffered a lot from paranoia if I was on nights out with friends or out of town (I never gave him any reason to feel this way as I was very loyal to him throughout our year and a half relationship). It resulted in many arguments once I got home after a night out and he often lost his temper and acted irrationally. I saw him after and he told me he didn’t want to lose me, I was the best thing to ever happen to him etc but he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kim,

If he’s being like that because he’s insecure, check this one:
EBR 052: Insecure Ex Boyfriends And How To Handle Them

Kim
Guest
My ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He suffered a lot from paranoia if I was on nights out with friends or out of town (I never gave him any reason to feel this way as I was very loyal to him throughout our year and a half relationship). It resulted in many arguments once I got home after a night out and he often lost his temper and acted irrationally. I saw him after and he told me he didn’t want to lose me, I was the best thing to ever happen to him etc but he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kim,

If he’s being like that because he’s insecure, check this one:
EBR 052: Insecure Ex Boyfriends And How To Handle Them

Kinga
Guest

Hi,

My boyfriend broke up with me because I’ve got quite a few personal problems, and that he doesn’t think he feels the same about me. After the break up he blocked me on Fb, snapchat but not instagram. When I asked to get my stuff, he caused a massive argument and doesn’t let me pick up my stuff as when ever I ask for it he just ignores it and says he doesn’t particularly want to see me. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kinga,

when was all that and how important are your stuff? Do you really need to get them immediately?

Kinga
Guest

Hi,

My boyfriend broke up with me because I’ve got quite a few personal problems, and that he doesn’t think he feels the same about me. After the break up he blocked me on Fb, snapchat but not instagram. When I asked to get my stuff, he caused a massive argument and doesn’t let me pick up my stuff as when ever I ask for it he just ignores it and says he doesn’t particularly want to see me. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kinga,

when was all that and how important are your stuff? Do you really need to get them immediately?