By EBR Team Member: Ashley

So it seems really weird that you are in a situation where a person that loved and cared about you so much doesn’t even want to speak to you…

It’s unsettling and hurtful. It’s a difficult pill to swallow, right?

These thoughts are probably going through your head right now…

“Why won’t he talk to me?”

“We’ve known each other for 3 years! We’ve done so much together!”

“How could he just toss me aside like that? He’s told me so many times he loves me!”

You probably spend hours obsessed with what he’s thinking. You are enamored as to why he won’t speak to you.

Unfortunately, this is all very typical of an ex after a breakup.

There are a lot of reasons why your ex may not want to talk to you.

And we will talk about those today, along with some other things.

  1. Why Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Talk To You
  2. What Your Options Are In Dealing With This
  3. How To Make Him Contact You First

Why Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Talk To You

Now I could bust out a long list of reasons covering why your ex might not be cool with talking to you… right now. That “right now” is important. Remember that “right now.” We’ll talk about it again.

Actually, you know what? I AM going to give you a long list of reasons.

You ready?

  • Your Ex Could Be Over You
  • He Could Be Involved In a Rebound
  • It Could Be Painful For Your Ex To See Or Talk To You After The Breakup
  • Your Ex Could Be Mad At You

Now, I want to talk about these for a minute before we move on.

First things first, your ex could be over you.

I put that one first because it is least likely. And it’s the one you are least likely to want to hear. So… it’s out of the way.

Besides, it takes time to get over someone. It doesn’t just happen overnight. Why do you think you miss your ex so much?

If you could will that love for them away you would wouldn’t you?

And what is the one thing people keep telling you it’s gonna take?

Time, right?

And if time has passed it’s still unlikely, because it generally takes a lot of time.

Then, there’s the pain.

Breakups suck, man… for both the Breaker and the Break-ee. (Is that a word? Well, it is now.)

The pain of a breakup can be comparable to having someone you love pass away.

Now, I will venture to say that everyone reading this has lost someone at some point, even if it was a pet.

After a breakup, you start to wonder some things you might wonder if you lost someone,

“Is he gone forever?”

“How can I even begin to move on?”

“I am so heartbroken. Can I just lay in bed and cry all day?”

Well, believe it or not, your ex will go through some version of that too. So, if your ex refuses to talk to you, it could be because he is hurting still from the breakup.

Or, if your breakup was a particularly messy one and he ended up being mad at you, it could just be that he isn’t over that initial anger. This is probably likely if the two of you had a fight or an argument that led up to the breakup.

There is another reason that could cause this communication freeze out. You aren’t going to want to think about this one either.

If he is in a rebound relationship, he might be respecting her feelings or wishes by cutting you out. Which bodes well for you because that means she’s insecure in general, in the relationship, or both. Eventually, he’ll have enough of that. being insecure is not attractive.

No matter what, you have options as to what you can do that will bring him back. If you do it right, you could win him back for good.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

What Your Options Are In Dealing With This

Aw… guess what… another list!!

  • You Can Chase
  • You Can Beg
  • You Can Wish
  • You Can Pray

OR…

I said OR…

  • You Can Get Him Back

Let me say that again…

You. Can. Get. Him. Back.

Yeah. Yeah. I know that “You Can Chase” one sounds like a great idea right now while you’re missing him. Right?

Wrong!

You shouldn’t chase or beg. And you definitely shouldn’t sit around wishing, hoping or, praying for him to come back.

That last one though… it’s the one.

You should definitely do that. You should definitely NOT do whatever you are thinking about doing. Instead, you should finish reading this article before you do anything.

Let’s get your ex back.

You know what I am gonna say now, right?

Well, if you thought I was going to tell you how to get him back using Ex Boyfriend Recovery tactics… you would be right!

How To Make Him Contact You First

Okay, so your first instinct to make him contact you would be to contact him.

Trust me. I know. I’ve been there.

And I’ve watched thousands of women come through the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Group and every single one of them has that urge to contact their ex.

Can you guess what the first thing I am going to tell you NOT to do?

Our first step of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Process is actually called No Contact.

If you guessed that it means that you ABSOLUTELY should NOT contact your ex. You would be 100% correct.

At EBR we have three different lengths of time for No Contact based on your specific situation, 21, 30, or 45 days.

If you are missing your ex, everything in your mind will tell you to contact him in some manner.

And I am here to say… that your mind is wrong.

Fight that urge, because No Contact is effective and it will effectively make your ex realize that he misses you too.

During this time, you will want to just sit around and wait for his call. If you do that you will be miserable and you will not get your ex back.

I bet you are wondering,

“what am I supposed to do for 21, 30, or 45 days?”

Well, the answer for that is to become an Ungettable Girl. I know that’s another unfamiliar

Essentially, becoming Ungettable is becoming the best version of yourself.

But if you want a more detailed description here is a link to several articles:

The Ungettable Girl

The 6 Things That Are Keeping You From Being Ungettable

Essentially, during this time you are going to work on a few aspects of your life. We call these aspects The Holy Trinity. They are Health, Wealth, and Relationships.

What you are going to do is make improvements in these areas of your life.

For example, for health you would possibly choose to focus your energy on exercise or nutrition.

For wealth, you might try and shoot for a promotion or a raise. You could learn how to manage your finances. You could make an investment or several.

For relationships, it could be with your family. It could be with your friends. It could be with yourself.

And this isn’t just to fill the time. While you are creating space and distance, your ex will start to miss you. Once you get through No Contact, you get to reconnect with your ex and build rapport with him.

Imagine this. What will be more effective?

“Hi! I’m so glad you agreed to have coffee. You look great. Yeah, absolutely nothing has changed since we broke up. All of those things that led to our breakup that I had a hand in… still here.”

OR

“Hi! I’m so glad you agreed to have coffee. I’m glad to hear that things are going well for you. Things are going pretty great for me too. I’ve really gotten my life together since we split up.”

If you don’t have any improvements to bring to the table, how do you think he’ll react next time you want to get together?

Well…like I mentioned earlier, not caring and living your life without worrying about him will solve most of the question automatically.

But having something to show for your time apart. Man!

He’ll start to wonder,

“Why’s she doing so good without me?”

“Is she better off?”

“Has she moved on?

So, you have No Contact and you can become Ungettable.

But, you can also use the Circle of Influence.

Three people are a triangle… Four people are a rectangle. But five they make a circle… or a pentagon. But, who has time to figure out all those angles?!

Most people have at least five people in their lives whose opinions they care about. They’ll listen to what they have to say even if they don’t like it.

Think about it.

Who makes up your circle of influence?

Your parents? Your siblings? Your friends?

I bet each of those people has asked about your relationship since the breakup. Even if they are trying to be nice and avoid mentioning it, they will eventually. They may have even asked if you had heard from your ex.

But, have you noticed that, when they find out something new about your ex, they always come running to tell you about it?

Well, guess what. Your ex has a circle of influence too and you can use it against him.

If your ex isn’t talking to you it’s likely he also unfriended you on Facebook or unfollowed you on Instagram. He may have even blocked your number if you gnatted him.

Let me define that word there for you because we kind of made it up.

Gnatting (v) to annoy by contact or attempting to contact incessantly.

If he won’t talk to you, how will he see how well you’re doing?

I know, you were probably wondering that yourself. And if you weren’t… well, you probably are now.

So, here’s your answer.

Think about those people in your ex’s circle of influence. Who is your ex most likely to listen to? There should be several.

Now, are you friends with any of them on social media or in real life.

Okay, instead of focusing on whether or not your ex sees your improvements or at least that you aren’t pining for him (and even if you are, just pretend.)

This works amazingly…especially if you have an ex that is so stubborn!

Be careful though.

If you over-post on social media, it will be obvious that you are trying to get someone’s attention.

If you typically post on social media twice a week, don’t post 10 times in one week!

The idea here is to make your ex come to the conclusion, on his own (possibly with help from his Circle of Influence of course), that you are not worried about him and are doing just fine!

I don’t mean to say “Use your friends,” but USE YOUR FRIENDS!

Live the UG (Ungettable Girl) life and hint at those improvements you make on social media.

The UG doesn’t worry about anybody!

At least that’s what you show everyone.

Never mention anything to these friends about your intentions to get your ex back. Don’t post anything that will indicate that you are worried about him or want him back either.

This will do all the damage you need it to do…

He will go crazy about why you are doing so well right after the breakup. He will be frustrated and curious as to how you can handle this so well.

And you know what that will drive him to do?

It will drive him to talk to you!

Once you reconnect with him after No Contact, there is one thing I can tell you. You should watch how comfortable you get with your ex when you do finally talk.

Don’t try and talk about getting back together until he shows interest in getting back together. Trust me, if you have to ask… he’s not there yet.

Constantly asking about the relationship or about getting back together will do the opposite of what you want to accomplish.

Guys have super-huge egos and enjoy feeling like they can have as many women as they want.

Making you feel rejected feeds his ego. It makes him feel as if he can control you.

If you chase after him like that you are giving him permission to treat you however badly he wants. You want to create a challenge for him. You can’t do that if you are constantly pestering him about getting back together.

 

The Take-Away

Okay, now that I have laid all of this out there and given you the resources to follow through on it, let’s recap.

You should now know:

  1. Why Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Talk To You
  2. What Your Options Are In Dealing With This
  3. How To Make Him Contact You First

Now that you have all of this information, you should be all set, right?

Well, even if that is true, I am going to give you access to one more resource… OUR TEAM!!

In the comments below, tell me about your breakup. What have you done since the breakup. Have you gnattted your ex? How extreme has the not-talking-to-you been?

Based on that information, our experts will help determinewhat your best next action should be. And, together, we will have your ex reaching out in no time.

What to Read Next

Why Does My Ex Talk To Me And Then Ignore Me?

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

How To Make Him Want You Back

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

How To Get Him Back If Your Breakup Was Mutual

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

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328 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Back But He Won’t Talk To Me”

  1. Avatar

    Natalie

    May 19, 2020 at 1:24 pm

    Me and my ex have had a rocky relationship the last few months where we have been continuously bickering which leading to fall outs and things from the past get brought up in anger. It’s financial, in insecurities that we mostly fall out about. We have been together over a year. (We where together approx 10 years ago, child hood love hearts) . We have broken up a few times in a heat of an argument but this time he blocked me and has now unblocked me. I reached out to him and haven’t had a reply at all. I know he is still mad about the argument and stuff but I don’t know how to change that, and now he is on a dating website. I feel when he is so angry and mad he acts out and once he has calmed down we can talk and he can be so understanding but this has been about 2 months now and I don’t know what to do. It’s causing me extreme stress.

  2. Avatar

    Megan

    May 9, 2020 at 3:06 pm

    My ex and I were together for 2.5 years. In those 2.5 years we went from living together to living states away due to school. Long distance was fine and within the last 6 months we bought a house where we were gonna live, furnished the house, went and looked at engagement rings, talked out our wedding, etc. Because of COVID, school went online during spring break. So we rushed down, moved everything out of the house, and drove back- all within 48 hours. We got into a fight on the way back, but nothing that was a cause for concern. He kicked me out a week later with no explanation other than things had changed. His best friend talked to him a few days later and he said that he wanted to work it out and he wanted to be together. When we had a face to face three days after he talked to his friend, he ended it. He said we argued too much, but I honestly don’t see that. That was one month ago today and we haven’t spoken since. His parents have reached out to me but that’s it.

  3. Avatar

    Lisa

    May 8, 2020 at 12:31 pm

    Me and my ex started seeing again after we broke up on bad terms, he is the one that broke up with me and reached out to me after a while. So everything was going well for couple months once we started talking again, however beginning April I started having exam stress as I had to revise for my exams, because of this lockdown, not being able to go out and meet and just staying in the house and revising affected my stress level, and i let my stress on my exams affect on him. I started acting needy as in when I felt stressed I wanted him to talk to me, he would say he’d call me in couple hours but I didn’t have the patience and started calling endlessly and started texting numerous texts. I can’t blame it on my exams, but the stress I went through had an effect on everything around me. When I didn’t get the support I wanted I acted out of control and would call him so many times, this happened 3 times atleast, he asked for space but it was so difficult for me to give him that. So he ended up blocking me on all social media and used his friend to tell me to stop harassing him. I made accounts to contact him so he speaks to me but he didn’t wanted to talk to me, so I went to his house to talk to him 3 times unannounced, which I know I shouldn’t have done, I panicked with everything going on in my life. I wanted to speak to him and apologise but he was very mad and angry. He told me to leave him alone and never to text me, he knows how sorry I feel about my actions and my behaviour. He said he doesn’t love me anymore and wants me to leave him alone and that he doesn’t see a future with me anymore. I have tried my best to apologise and asked for another chance but he said no, I do still have feelings for him, and I know I have messed it up so badly, I should have known better. He had a lot of stress going on with his family work, and I never knew exactly until he told me when I messed things up. Now he won’t talk to me, look at me and doesn’t want anything to do with me, and has blocked me from everywhere. In the first few months he spoke about being committed to me….but now I have destroyed it, what are my next steps?, I know he is the one for me, but I acted out of order due to letting my exam stress affecting everything that was going around me .

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 19, 2020 at 11:47 am

      Hey Lisa, so I would say that you have to complete your 30 day of No Contact without watching any social media or breaking NC and then reach out

  4. Avatar

    Hannah

    May 7, 2020 at 9:20 pm

    Hi. My ex and I were together for 4 months. A month after we were together he had to move to a different city 5 hours away for university. I started travelling around the country for a while, and our communication was a little lacking because he was always so busy but it wasn’t causing a problem. He was really invested in the relationship and he was already talking about the future but suddenly he stopped talking to me 3 months ago and told his best friend he was never going to speak to me again. I think this is because he thought I was cheating on him whilst travelling, but I wasn’t. For the first month I gnatted a bit. I understood that he needed to calm down becuase he is stubborn but I would give him only a week at the most of no contact before begging him just to talk to me with no replies from him. After a month, I stopped all contact for 4 weeks and then tried again to get him to speak to me for 3 days (still a bit gnatty). He still ignored me but he was now reading my messages as soon as I sent them (miniscule progress!). Then I found out about no contact from another website. So after 4 weeks I texted him saying that something had reminded me of him and i hope he was well and I respected his desicion, that I wanted to apologise for not giving him space and that I would like to be friends. He still ignored but read it almost straight away. He also always watches my social media stories, often the first person. It has been 3 weeks and i have been doing no contact again. I am planning on sending him a message in a week asking for his help with arabic pronunciation for a song and a video of me singing this song (he has grown up speaking arabic, this is a really famous song which I know he likes and he always loved hearing me sing). Currently, I am using social media occasionally with more pictures of me to draw interest and I have been focusing on getting fitter and learning new language and getting by writing published. I really feel so much more confident through focusing on myself and also experiences I have had travelling since we stopped talking. I understand he is really upset with me but we didn’t have a proper reason for a break up (certainly no big fight) and we weren’t having problems, everything was great. Also I have stopped travelling now and I am hoping to settle down again and esspecailly when he is home for the summer we will be in the same city again. I figured 30 day no contact was best because it is almost 4 months since we broke up so I don’t want to leave it too long (its been 2 months since is gnatted) because that can cause a problem, but also I want to give it enough time to be a pattern interrupt? I am just nervous that he is going to keep ignoring me. I will certianly have to be the one to make contact.

  5. Avatar

    Claudi

    May 5, 2020 at 12:12 am

    We broke up about a week ago. We had a small fight where I said he didn’t care about me enough. I immediately knew I was in the wrong and tried to call him back but he wouldn’t pick up or reply to the text messages. After about three days of me asking, he said can’t you see that I don’t want to talk to you? And you spamming call isn’t going to help you. He said by him ignoring me, his trying to spare us both. And he also said he wanted more then just space.

    I been trying to think calm and tell myself, that I’ve already apologized to him but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it. I get that a relationship is hard but why did he give up when I didn’t. I still love him. But nothing I do now will get him to answer me. He didn’t blocked me as I’ve tried to call. He always on social media and he still won’t give it to me to just talk things out. I still love him, but I don’t really know what to do now.. I don’t want to think that it’s over between us..

  6. Avatar

    Brittany

    April 28, 2020 at 1:26 am

    My ex dumped me out of the blue because he needed to work on his finances. His credit score is as low as it can be and he has no savings even after making 100K a year, pandemic is obviously going on and his best friend is homeless living at his home. He blocked my number right after he sent the text in which is dumped me. I spoke to him about getting together for dinner and talking but haven’t heard from him since and that was over two weeks ago. We did not have a fight to bring this on. It was completely out of the blue for me. I made the mistake of sending him multiple messages on Instagram (only place I can message without being blocked). Now he won’t look at them. What are my next steps and am I SOL? He’s my person and I really want to make this work.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 1, 2020 at 9:47 pm

      Ho Brittany so after you gnatting him on social media and him blocking you, I would suggest that you follow a 45 day No Contact Rule. If he is feeling overwhelmed by having financial issues that having a relationship is going to add to that pressure. I would suggest that you work on your Holy Trinity as described in the articles on how to have an active No Contact

  7. Avatar

    Dina

    April 25, 2020 at 7:40 pm

    We broke up about 3 months ago but we lived together. It was a 7 year relationship. We kept hooking up until I moved out about 2 weeks ago. He said he wanted to stay friends but then suddenly changed his mind. He started ignoring my messages. I sent him a final goodbye message saying I wasn’t going to reach out anymore. He just left me on read. We’ve been NC for 1 week now. I’m not blocked on anything and neither is he. I miss him a lot. But I feel like he wants nothing to do with me and like he’s already moved on.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 2, 2020 at 12:23 pm

      Hi Dina, it is essential that you complete a 30 day NC before reaching out but make sure that you work on your holy trinity during this time to that you chance your exes perception of you. Read Chris’ articles to help you work on yourself to become Ungettable when you reach out you will appear confident and happy to your ex

  8. Avatar

    Tracey

    April 23, 2020 at 1:28 pm

    Hi,
    We broke up about two weeks ago. We were so happy together. But after he told his parents I’d been married and I have children, they told him that I’d never truly love him. Because I “already had my love” and had babies with that person. I put up with these words and actions for months. I finally snapped and let him know how awful I think his parents are for ruining us (and him for allowing it). We were very much in love, but he’s choosing to let his parents make his choices. I’m TRYING NC, but my god it’s hard. Is there any hope?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 25, 2020 at 11:26 am

      Hi Tracey, it is hard it really depends on if he is going to be willing to stand up to his parents or not. Sadly if they have a hard influence of his life he is unlikely to change his mind. However if you work on yourself and follow the holy trinity using your mutual friends and social media to show how great you are doing it may push him to stand up for your relationship, this all depends on how he prioritises his parents views over his own love life

  9. Avatar

    Tameka

    April 21, 2020 at 11:36 pm

    Hello my name is Tameka,my boyfriend broke up with me because he said the relationship didn’t change and we argued slot. Then he said he wasn’t in love with me anymore. He needed space. I gave him 3 days then called him . I asked him was it over he said yes. He then said all he asked for was space and y’all can’t give me that. I said who is y’all? He said everyone. I reached out to him a week later but l kept the conversation short. Then l reached out again a week later he said Thanks for the update on your family. I then asked to see him and he said no. About a week later his friend requested me on Facebook. He tried to talk to me . I put him in check. He then called my ex . My ex then texted me and checked me . I never responded to the text. I missed him so l started stalking him for a couple of days. He saw me each time. I felt stupid. He then told his mom he broke it off with me and told her why. His mom said if a man don’t want you just move on . She said once her son is done he’s done. What do l do ? I miss him and still love him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 25, 2020 at 11:59 am

      Hey Tameka, I suggest that you give your ex space and follow a 45 day NC and do not reach out to his mother again as this is not going to help you.

  10. Avatar

    Jacquelyn

    April 21, 2020 at 9:24 pm

    We had been arguing a tiny bit in the weeks leading up to are last argument he said “your always on my back, it’s always what I don’t do, your always complaining, . So Saturday comes along he was being really nice and told me it was his best friends birthday and that he only invited the guys and his girl. I got upset that I wasn’t invited and I started to go off a little. This really upset him and I sort of broke up with him, he agreed to meet me after the party to end on good terms and get my things, well I text him later that night and no reply. I apologized for my behavior. No reply I ended up going to his house that Monday and he agreed to reach out and talk. Wednesday came and we planned to meet Thursday, I reached out near the end go the day when he said would be a good time and no reply. It’s been 5 days and I am not planning to reach out again.

  11. Avatar

    Rebecca Maziter

    April 21, 2020 at 3:39 pm

    He told me let’s just get back together after this quarantine stuff is over cuz his health isnt great and that was it. Stopped texting, didnt answer me back. Prior to this we had a disagreement and didnt speak for a day I reached out and he was distant. He wasnt answering at all but was active online so I was texting and calling and he wouldnt answer. I texted and called a couple of times after that last msg out of shock because it came out of nowhere it seemed. Also told him I’d rather him just end it if that’s what he wanted but no response to that. I stopped reaching out after 30 minutes and the days to follow. It has been 12 days and he hasnt reached out and I am doing NC but he hasnt said anything either so how do I even know he’ll be back? Am I waiting for no reason? After nc is over do I reach out to him even though hes the one that pretty much ghosted? I told him I wasnt reaching out to him anymore until this stuff is over but who knows when that will be. This was also before I discovered your page. Do i just sit and wait for him to reach out or just fully try and move on? I do want him back. I just really dont like that he felt so ok with making a decision like that and then disappearing. So my ego is hurt but I know I want to be with him.

  12. Avatar

    Stacey

    April 11, 2020 at 9:31 pm

    Me and my boyfriend split up 2 and a half weeks ago. We have been together for 9years, currently saving for a house. We work together. And I will soon be working closer with him (on nights together). We had a slight argument and didn’t speak for a week (longest time ever). I got back in touch with him and he says he doesn’t want to be with me as we don’t work. He will not speak to me about it at all and I don’t understand how feelings can disappear after 9 years together. There has been no issues like this before. Each time I get in touch with him I get either ignored or a message back saying leave me alone we are over. I feel like if I don’t message him he will forget me and that this is the only way for him to speak to me. I just want us to sort things out properly and not leave it at the mess it has become.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 20, 2020 at 10:41 pm

      Hi Stacey, give him some time to calm down with limited NC and see if he reaches out to you. I would follow a 30 day NC and then start the texting phase

  13. Avatar

    Ivelisse

    April 9, 2020 at 3:33 pm

    My ex and I broke up about a month ago because I was pressuring him to work towards “relationship progression” things like moving in together, or like a talk about things like marriage and family. I didn’t want those things right now, but I was pushing him too hard to talk about them because we were coming up on our one year. I really love him, and he really loved me too, but I’m the end I made the mistake of making him feel like he wasn’t doing enough for me, and we ultimately came to the decision to break up. Well I immediately regretted it, and I tried to mend it the day after, but he was set in not wanting to be in a relationship “right now”. I tried hard to do the “no contact” because it’d been easy with other ex’s I didn’t care nearly this much for, but I definitely pestered and gnatted him. I did recently really need his help when I had a flat tire, and he came through to help me, but we recently made lists of boundaries to try and maintain a friendship, because he states I am his best friend, but he only wants to meet in public places as to not make things feel intimate. I messed up bad, and I’m still so in love with him. I also had a self realization about how I was taking him for granted, and how other factors in my personal life played it’s part in our breakup. I want him back, but I can’t even get him to talk to me normally anymore. He seems very distant. I told myself to put in the same amount of energy he is, but I’m also scared of losing him for good.

  14. Avatar

    danny

    April 8, 2020 at 11:33 pm

    Hi Guys,
    I really need help! About 3 weeks into No Contact ( after my ex blocked me on almost everything, due to a nasty fight) she wrote me a hand written note explaining herself, and how she can never see me again because she feels so guilty about the way she treated me and how it effected me; and how this was her goodbye. She told me i was the love of her life and said all these positive things about me and us but she also said she is going to try and move on and that she doesn’t want me to contact her anymore. Her note was so polar opposite, I don’t have any idea what to do next.
    I am not sure if this was her way of reaching out, or if this was really the end!

    I could use any help I can get, about your opinions and what to do next!

    Thanks,
    Danny

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 17, 2020 at 3:35 pm

      Hi Danny, good job on sticking to NC so far, but make sure you go through to the 45days, as far as her letter goes I think she means what she says (at this time) and wants to move on, it does not mean that you can’t get her back. But I think you do need some time away from each other if things were getting to the point where she felt the need to do this. I would work on yourself, start dating casually when you can. And use your social media to show you are doing well in life, even though you are blocked shell get curious and find a way to look you up, so keep it positive at all times. Read Chris articles about the holy trinity and being ungettable and apply this to your life

  15. Avatar

    Riya

    March 30, 2020 at 1:08 pm

    He was the one who was hell serious in the relationship. Initially, he was so into me that he could not stay away without talking or meeting. He used to tell me things that how we shouldn’t give up as he is looking a long-term relationship with me. He proposed me for marriage too and called me to meet his family. Thee all of sudden he left his job due to some reason. A week after that he asked me for some time to get his head straight as he was concerned about his career as well as studies. Few days after that he started behaving weird. He started fighting arguing with me then he used to block me and then apologize the same day by saying that he can’t end things with me he wants a life, but right now he just want some time with his stupid self as he is confused and not able to figure out things. All of sudden, 13 days back, he and his friend called me and said that they both are together and he can’t be with me now because he thinks that it will not workout as he don’t feel that love anymore and blocked me everywhere. That thing triggered me so hard that I rushed to his home and asked him to talk calmly but he started yelling for no reason and said that you don’t owe anything here anymore so it is better to leave. He left home and I had a word with his grandmother and mother and they said that they will talk to him about it. It’s been thirteen days, I heard nothing from him. His friend called me and asked me to leave him alone for a while because his female friend with whom he said that he is in relation now manipulates him often till the time she is not getting attention from anywhere. It is actually traumatizing for me that how a promising man turned out to a stupid ass without any reason. Day before yesterday, his friend texted me and said that my boyfriend wanted him to inform me that he moved on in his life and it would be better if I do the same. He can’t say these things to my face because he don’t have that guts. Two days back I dropped him a text via hangouts wishing him luck for future. I really want our things to work out and get back with him. I know he is acting stupid just because he is manipulated by his female friend. I don’t understand how to deal with the situation and get back together.

  16. Avatar

    Barbara Muñoz

    March 30, 2020 at 3:37 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We were together for a year. Even planned to have a child, then I learn i was pregnant. He was not fully excited at all. We had a fight because i felt that he was beginning to be cold to me. Then he admitted that he is still inlove with her ex gf for 6 years, and I’m too good for him. He said that he’s only for the child and cannot stay with me anymore. At first i was sending him messages recalling our happy times together. His family said that he maybe pressured. He still replies whenever I sent him messages. Talking about pregnancy check ups schedule. So i decided to stop messaging anymore, I’m on the 3rd day now. I’m trying to hold on given my situation, pregnancy, where there are days when my hormones soars high and I wanted to talk to him, hoping my silence will change his mind. Will it work? We are still friends on fb and our sweet nicknames on messenger is still the same, though I ask him not to change it before.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 31, 2020 at 2:19 am

      Hi Barbara, so giving that you stick to the plan yes it has a chance of making him change his mind but it is important that you are putting yourself first especially with the way of the world right now. Following the ERP program is going to help you if you stick to the information

  17. Avatar

    Angie

    March 28, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    Me and my ex broke up 4 weeks ago, I’m a week into no contact…it’s driving me crazy. We split up after 6 years together, we lived with his mum who goes to drastic measures to keep him at home, I suggested we moved out and got our own place which he didn’t want to do because she pays for everything for him. We ended badly, he has blocked me from his phone, he is a very stubborn person anyway. I don’t know what to do. He said he loves me but it’s my fault we split up, I didn’t handle the breakup well, will he get in touch after doing the no contact?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 29, 2020 at 10:55 pm

      Hi Angie, there is a high chance that he will unblock you in the end but it sounds as if he is happy living like a teenager in his parents home and letting them take care of him. Ask yourself if this is someone you want ot be with as it does not seem like he has any plans to move out soon

  18. Avatar

    Chloe

    March 28, 2020 at 11:17 am

    My ex and I were together for 7 years. He broke up with me 1,5 weeks ago and we haven’t talked since. The reasons for the break up were several:
    He is mentally in a very bad place, feels like he doesn’t know who he really is (he said that he always adapts to the people he’s with, meaning he has “too many different personality traits and needs to know who HE is”. Apparently being in a relationship makes that impossible, because he knows what I want, what I like etc.
    We started dating when we were 18/19 and he thinks that this was too early. He says things like “ I wish we could’ve met a couple of years from now…” or “I really hope we’ll get a second chance in a few years from now, once I know who I am etc.”
    He’s had many nervous breakdowns during the last few months, is unhappy with his life and under a lot of pressure (he has to work and go to college simultaneously, doesn’t receive enough financial support from his parents and has to pay for everything on his own.. it’s been really tough!). It’s so frustrating for him to see how everyone else can relax a lot and doesn’t have to worry about anything serious and how all of his friends go through life with ease. Whereas he’s incredibly stressed all of the time. (Understandably).
    Because we’ve dated for so long and from a “young age” he thinks it’s impossible that we’ll never want to be with another person again (sexually). His ex girlfriend (high school) broke up with him, because she wanted to date other guys. He’s my first boyfriend too and he’s convinced I’m gonna want that in a few years too.
    Unfortunately we also fought a lot throughout our relationship…
    when he had his breakdown a couple of weeks ago, all of our fights, his ex’s words, his parents divorce (another prove that “forever” is impossible) came up again and he can’t get any of it out of his head….
    I tried everything.
    But nothing worked, because he “needs to be on his own”.
    We’re in a long distance relationship and usually see each other every other weekend, which adds even more stress to him. When I suggested that I could be the one to come visit him from now on, he refuses to accept it because he doesn’t want be to change for him or to “suffer”.
    We’ll be long distance until I graduate (1 more year).
    When he broke up, he told me that I’m the perfect girlfriend, that I deserve so much better…. that he needs to break up to figure out who he is. That he simply can’t be in a relationship at the moment…
    but I can’t accept this. I decided I’ll contact him 2 weeks from now, to get answers to the 372728 questions I have.
    I also want to propose to just go on a break, instead of breaking up.
    I’m so scared that during the “no contact” time, he’ll realize that he feels relieved to be without me… that it was the right decision. How will I be able to ever get him back if that’s the case? Part of the reason why I ultimately let him break up with me (after fighting it for 3 weeks), was that I was convinced he’d realize what big of a mistake he’s made, that he’ll regret it… that he’ll miss me too much and want me back. But it’s been 10 days and I still haven’t heard from him.
    We still follow each other on Instagram, he liked one of the two pictures I’ve posted since the break up.
    Another huge problem is that he thinks that we’ve had closure and a beautiful goodbye (we kissed, held hands and even slept together). I’m scared that
    A) if I ask him to meet me, he’ll say no because we’ve already talked about everything and said our final goodbyes
    And that
    B) he’ll remind me of the fact that in the end, right before we said goodbye, I even agreed that it might be better for us to break up FOR A WHILE in order for us to work on ourselves… And I made him promise that he won’t give up hope that we’ll get back together.
    And finally
    C) he’s already moving on, feeling better without me…

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 30, 2020 at 11:14 pm

      Hey Chloe so I wouldn’t reach out to have any of these emotional conversations. I would spend the rest of my NC working on getting over the break up and focusing on being happy again focus on the Holy Trinity and being as social as you can with your life during these times. And reaching out to your ex with a text that Chris suggests, that is going to get a short, positive conversation with your ex that you end the conversation first, not him. And build yourself up the value ladder.

  19. Avatar

    Haleigh

    March 14, 2020 at 8:23 pm

    Hi, I don’t exactly know if our breakup was mutual or she broke up with me. After 4 days i wrote a letter to her without begging or pleding, i just wanted to meet up with her and talk. I gave this letter to her flatmate. She replied to me that it was very bad move and if in the future sth like this will happend again it’s stalking. We didnt talk for a couple of days and then she wrote to me what should she do with my stuff. We met, she cried, we talked normally, she hugged me so hard and still cried a lot but she didnt want to repair our relationship. I started no contact. After 25 days I message her with a good remider text but i didnt get a reply. Please tell me what should i do next?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 18, 2020 at 3:06 am

      Hi Haleigh so a reminder text is not ideal after a NC as you are going straight for an emotional trigger, you would be best askign for advice or opinion on something you know that they would be interested in talking about

  20. Avatar

    tommy

    March 14, 2020 at 2:48 am

    so before i got together with my ex, she was in a 5 year abusive relationship until he got arrested for 6 years. within the first year we were talking daily and became best friends. we then decided to become friends with benefits until we both fell in love. she was still living at her ex mother in laws house as they were really controlling. i helped her get away from the family we had some threats and trouble from them in the begging but eventually they left us alone. she was really affectionate and couldn’t be a minute without me. until she went to her parents house and started to be distant from me. at this point i started thinking i was just a rebound relationship or she was just using me to be able to get away from her ex. but she made me think different as we were trying to have a baby together and also was going to get engaged soon. although she was the starting to change and she became a totally different person later on. she slowly and gradually started more a more frequently closing her self off from me it got so bad that she didn’t even let me touch or kiss or hug her unless she felt like it which was once a week and later on went even up to 3 weeks in between these weeks she would go and give me attention and affection for lets say half a day but then would go another 2 or 3 weeks with no interest in me it was like she was playing with me she was really negative towards me and with her attitude it was making me go crazy and i would be some times a bit to clingy from the way she was playing with my head she was still distancing her self from me to a point where she wouldn’t even say a nice thing to me instead she was always just putting me down or she would talk about her ex making him look like he was perfect when i know for a fact that he was treating her bad he was cheating on her daily and then brag about it in front of her she was not aloud friends or even to visit family so i think with me she had all this freedom and i guess she wasn’t use to it but if i would try to be a alpha male she wouldn’t even consider what i said we dragged this out for about 8 months and it was looking like it would get better and it did we went to visit her parents house and then we both went home as we was about to go look at houses the next day but out of no where her ex wrote to her from prison she immediately shut down and was very aggressive when i said stop talking to him. so i left her along n i went to sleep. in the morning she got up angry and started to pack her stuff that we are done her ex did block and delete her number and he has not contacted her no more. as he still does have 4 more years in prison and also has a new girlfriend. don’t really know what they spoke about but he does have a way to get in side her head which i guess made her say she just wanted space. so just before she got on the train she said to me sorry and kissed me i thought everything was OK but once she got home she just started acting like i don’t mean anything to her i told her that ill give her space let her think about what she wants 4 days later she texts me saying she doesn’t wanna carry on and since then even more negative and cold towards me. she says she doesnt wanna hurt me no more that she can see that im crazy about her but she doesn’t feel the same way. but then she will go and text me the next day at night and just try and make me hurt by either saying lies or just try and show that loads of guys are texting with her because she knows i’m madly in love with her i do know that her ex is not in the picture so i don’t think that’s the reason i’m just so confused she wont even tell me why she got so cold. she just gave up on everything like it was nothing and i don’t know how to get her back in 5 days i’m supposed to move all her things to her parents house and shes going to be in the car with me its a 2 hour drive to her parents house is their something i should try to make her realise whats she throwing away.or is their away i can get her to be once again attracted and in love with me

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